The Cat in the Hat comes to Walt Whitman Elementary

SPRING 2016

The Cat in the Hat comes to Walt Whitman Elementary

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June 21-24

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Contents SPRING 2016 Asbury Tidings is a quarterly publication designed to tell stories of lives being transformed by the power of Jesus Christ. You may read back issues by visiting www.asburytulsa.org.

Learn 2 Serve 2 A Family Affair Thankful to be Part of God’s Village An Amazingly Rewarding Adventure “Growing Up” in Children’s Ministry Ty Martin Said “Yes!” Children Raising Children

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Our Journey Through Grief QCommons One Person Can Make a Difference The Cat in the Hat The Renkema Family God’s Call to Mission in Mexico What’s at Your Core?

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PASTOR TOM

A Word From Tom Harrison This is a “Thank you!” to all of our volunteers who serve at Asbury in a wide variety of ways and places. You will rejoice with what you’re about to read! Also, consider this an invitation for those who have yet to be involved.

We want and need you. There’s a place for you to serve here!

Remember Jesus’ words: “The Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve!” Jesus served. If we want to follow Jesus, we must serve. That’s what He said, that’s what He did and that’s what He taught His disciples.

We are never more Christ-like than when we serve.

We ask for volunteers a lot at Asbury because we have a need FOR you.

We also do it “guilt free” because we believe that this fills a need IN you.

Our faith development is stunted until we reach out to others! Service is one of the best ways to meet new people and make new friends. As

Jason Jackson, our Director of Discipleship says: “If we focus upon care, we’ll get care. If we focus upon service, we’ll get service AND care.”

Serving together is one of the best ways to create friendships. Maybe that’s because it moves the focus from meeting MY needs to meeting the needs of another.

We are always trying to find new ways to advance our mission. That’s why we are so thrilled when someone gets involved. Serving is one of the most meaningful things I see happening in our church. I hear stories from all ages almost every day about how meaningful it is to serve. It can truly be life-changing. Ironically, when we go to help others we find that the “giver” is often the one who receives the most in the exchange. It’s a “Win-Win” engagement. So, Asbury is highly committed to finding ways for you to serve in meaningful ways.

You’ll read some of these stories in this edition of Tidings, but there are many more places as well.

If you’ve yet to find your place, please contact Rev. Todd Craig. He will help you connected in a meaningful place somewhere.

In Christ,

Dr. Tom Harrison, Senior Pastor

THANK YOU! We’ve reached our Spring Break Missions goal of $150,000. Thank you for your generous financial help for these 486 students and leaders. We are rejoicing!

Living Outside the Box Be “In the Moment” with God Transformed by God at the High School Retreat Special Announcements

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We need you! Do you have a story of what God has done in your life? Please contact us and tell us a little bit about what God has done. We will all be encouraged by hearing stories of what God is doing in the lives of those around us.

Are you a writer or someone who enjoys writing?

The Communications Department is always looking for someone to do an interview and write a story for us for Tidings.

Have you noticed that we’ve been making some changes in Tidings? Please give us your feedback—both good and bad.

Email kmains@asburytulsa.org or call 918.392.1140.

MARCH / APRIL 2016 TIDINGS

Editor: Asbury Communications Department, 918.392.1140, kmains@asburytulsa.org Graphic Design: Thomas Bradford, tbradford@asburytulsa.org Photographers: Mark Moore (mark moore.photo.net), Sarah Adams (yellowchairphotography.com) Guest Contributors: Rhiannon Baker, Brooke Condry, Jim Davis, Lucienda Denson, Charlene Giles, Marilyn Glass, Margie Kirkendall, Marilene Long, Katelyn Moore, Shantel Nelson, Jon Odom, Barbie Paige, Melissa Renkema, Nicole Renkema, Caroline Smallwood, Andrea Stephens, Diane Toburen, Cheryl Wood

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CHILDREN

“If you want to be a leader, volunteer to clean the toilets.” I was 17 and a new Christian when my youth pastor, Tammy Perry, preached this sermon. Her words have stuck with me for more than 20 years, and they’ve had an immeasurable impact on my life. As a sophomore in college, I was part of a church plant in town when the church announced it was preparing to launch a student ministry. After the service, I approached a staff member and volunteered to do whatever the church needed, including cleaning the toilets. Within weeks I was leading the middle school ministry; within months I was leading the high school ministry; but my first paid job was cleaning our rented office space, including the bathrooms!

Thanks to God’s grace and the influence of people like Tammy, I’ve now been in ministry for 18 years. I still wholeheartedly believe in the concept of servant leadership; however, I would recommend a revision to the sermon. “If you want to be a disciple, then serve.” Service is not only a core aspect of leadership, it is vital component of following Jesus. Jesus identified himself as one who did not come to be served but to serve (Matthew 20:28), and He called His disciples to a life of sacrificial service as well. Peter echoes this call as he implores us to use whatever gift we’ve received to serve others as faithful agents of God’s grace (1 Peter 4:10).

Over the next several months, we will be building and launching a new Discipleship Pathway. The goal of the pathway is to become like Jesus, to live according to his teaching, and to further God’s kingdom by doing good and making other disciples. The first phase of this pathway is called Learn 2 / Serve 2. On Sunday mornings, either before the 11:00 service or after the 8:00 and 9:15 services, we want to equip each other by dedicating two weeks a month to learning in a Learn 2 course and two weeks a month to serving on a Serve 2 team.

The following stories highlight several people who already Serve 2 in children’s ministry. Others already Serve 2 in guest services, student ministry, and prayer ministry. In the coming months, we will expand the opportunities in these areas and add opportunities in discipleship, administration, outreach, media and more.

If you are not currently serving on Sunday mornings, please consider joining a Serve 2 team. Imagine what could happen when we surround our kids and students with a community of adults who know and love them. Imagine what could happen when our guests are greeted not by one or two, but scores of volunteers. Imagine what could happen when teams gather to pray for our services, our missionaries and more. Imagine what can happen when we do not come to be served but to serve!

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TIDINGS SPRING 2016

by Jason Jackson

CHILDREN

The Yates family--Justin, Melissa, and their 17-year old son, Alex, are strong advocates for volunteerism. Justin and Melissa volunteer in the children’s ministry; Alex interns with 3rd, 4th, and 5th graders.

A Family Affair

By Marilyn Glass

“We weren’t looking for opportunities to get involved with the kids,” Justin declares. “But we were in church one morning and Pastor Tom asked for help in the children’s ministry. Melissa gave me a poke and I gave her a look. I work with young people as a teacher and was used to Sundays being our family time in church. But, as usual, she was right.

And now I can’t imagine our Sundays without the kids.”

“We started with 3-year olds,” Melissa says. “As they advanced from one class to the next, we moved with them. We’re now in our fourth year, working with the same kids we had in the 3-year old room.”

All three members of the Yates family agree that the bond they have developed with the young students is heartwarming and rewarding. Alex has almost finished his first year volunteering in the children’s ministry, and he looks forward to more. “It is lots of fun. I love being with them and playing with them. I hope we can provide the same kind of welcoming and nurturing environment that I had at that age.

These kids are just great!”

Some of the children have special needs.

“Melissa just has such love and a wonderful spirit with these children,” Justin emphasizes.

“They are just drawn to her. They clamor for her attention and just delight in her. The relationship they have is beautiful.”

A mother recently shared with Justin a story that verifies the significance of his family’s service. “She told me that all week her daughter couldn’t stop talking about how much fun church was and how much she wanted to see Mr. Justin,” he marvels.

“But of course, it’s a team effort. Melissa, Alex and I encourage and support each other, and the department would not be what it is without faithful staff members who contribute so much. Heather, Candice, Christina, Sarah, and Bonnie inspire us all-they just pour themselves into our kids.”

God reminds us in His Word that children are important in His kingdom. “We are honored to be trusted with these kids-not just physically but spiritually, too,” Justin says.

Justin, Melissa and Alex Yates

SPRING 2016 TIDINGS

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CHILDREN

Thankful to be Part of God’s Village

By Brooke Condry

I grew up in a small town in the Texas Panhandle where I attended a small United Methodist Church. My pastor was my dear friend’s father, the organist the grandmother of a classmate. We all knew one another; we were all family.

After graduating from Oklahoma State in 2005, I made my home in Tulsa. Finding a church home was important, and Asbury was my first church to visit. I instantly felt at home. Everyone was so kind and welcoming. I knew this was where I belonged. Two years later, I married Michael, and we became members at Asbury. In 2010, we welcomed our first son. I remember vividly his first day in the nursery of Asbury’s Children’s Ministry. Ms. Julie Karpio was so sweet to reassure us that Carter was in GREAT, loving hands. Of course, he was and has been for the last six years.

Carter’s little brother, Colin, was born in 2013. By then I had come to love and trust many members of the children’s ministry and knew we were loved in return. Again Ms. Julie welcomed our newest addition with much love.

As a parent, it brings great joy to see my boys excited for “church day.” Their spiritual growth at such young ages amazes me. Colin (2) singing songs from “big group,” complete with hand motions. Carter (5 1/2) retelling Bible stories, happy to fellowship with his friends each Sunday, and excited to participate in mission projects. He is always eager to lead us in prayer. When we discuss a difficult situation at home, it is almost always Carter who suggests we stop and pray right away.

Ms. Candice Whitehead has played a HUGE role in Carter’s love of the church. No Sunday is complete without a hug from his favorite teacher. Ms. Allison Kent has really helped Colin come out of his shell and feel more comfortable leaving Michael and I. Allison has helped him feel safe and loved. We leave our children, knowing they are in a secure and nurturing environment. All the volunteers have been kind, caring and patient. As they welcome us each Sunday and call our sons by name, it is obvious they are happy to be there and care about our little ones.

They say it takes a village to raise your children. As a mother of two and our third on the way, I believe this is true. We are thankful and feel blessed that Asbury is a part of our village. We appreciate the love, support and spiritual growth we know will continue for years to come.

Children are my passion, so serving as a volunteer has truly been a blessing to me. As a former educator, I know the importance of investing time in our youth. Being able to teach our children about God’s love, grace and forgiveness fills my heart with joy. This is an important job, but one that isn’t hard to do. Our children only need us to love them, show them God’s love and lead them in a way our Heavenly Father would.

Having the opportunity to watch the future of our church learn about God’s love and share it with one another is a gift. I invite those who are able to share God’s love with our future. I am certain these children will be a blessing to your life, and you will bless those around you.

Mike, Brooke, Carter and Colin Condry

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TIDINGS SPRING 2016

CHILDREN

Children’s Ministry . . .

An Amazingly Rewarding Adventure!

By Margie Kirkendall

CJ, John, Sam and Olivia Novak

CJ Novak joined Asbury in 1994 and has been volunteering in children’s ministry for the past three years, partly because of her three children, John (9) Sam (4), and Olivia (3).

soon learned it is not babysitting. It is teaching kids about God and Jesus, and she gets more out of it than she ever imagined!

She began helping with the 5- and 6-year-olds and then moved to the 3- and 4-year olds. She has no preference for the age she teaches as, according to her, each age is amazing! The older children catch on to things quick – yet, everything is new and exciting to the younger ones. Her own kids think it’s neat to have Mommy in there! CJ likes the Alpha/Omega structure, which is set up for the entire school year. She volunteers the first two Sundays at 9:15 and has the second two Sundays off. She thinks this is good as it allows the volunteers to have some flexibility.

Sam has said, “Mommy, I like you to teach my class.

I want you to always teach it!”

She also really likes the structure of the class. After the children are checked in, they meet in a large group where they sing songs and learn a new lesson. Then they return to their class to review the lesson, work on a craft, and have time to play. Sometimes the staff member has led the class with CJ’s assistance, and sometimes the staff member has let her do “the leading.” She adds that Asbury does an excellent job in helping the volunteers to be good volunteers. No experience needed, just the desire to work and help the kids. When CJ was first asked to volunteer, she was hesitant to accept. She didn’t really want to “babysit” on Sunday morning and give up her personal time to really connect with God. She was asked to please consider volunteering for just one quarter (before they went to the school year schedule). She

What CJ likes best is when a child walks in and she calls the child by name, and then she sees that little face light up. She said that is really rewarding, especially at this age when many children have separation anxiety. She presently teaches the younger children. Sam has said, “Mommy, I like you to teach my class. I want you to always teach it!”

CJ volunteered, “I feel more a part of the Asbury family.

My children walk in the building like they own the place, like they are home.

They are comfortable and feel part of the family, as do I. I have gotten to know more people who are also part of the Asbury family.

CJ has also discovered an impact on her family and children at home. She explained, “During the week, I try to talk about the lessons we have learned on Sunday. Volunteering on Sunday has made me a better “Sunday school teacher” at home. My family has a stronger relationship with God and Jesus Christ because I can bring what I have learned and taught home with me.

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CHILDREN

“Growing Up” in Children’s Ministry

By Marilene Long What does a children’s ministry volunteer look like? In this case, it looks like Jody and Shanon Brown who have been at Asbury since 2009. Shanon, a former kindergarten teacher, felt very comfortable serving in her son’s kindergarten class, then with the 1st graders. The next year she took a leap of faith to volunteer with the 6th graders. She now serves with the 3rd, 4th and 5th graders.

When their first child, Trip – now 14, was born, Shanon and Jody decided they should raise their children in church. Shanon did not grow up attending church regularly so was rather concerned she wouldn’t be much help and that the kiddos would know more about the Bible than she did. However, by volunteering in the children’s ministry, Shanon felt it was her second chance to “grow up” in church. Their second son, Teague, is in a small group with other boys and has a male leader. She is grateful that he can be positively influenced by other adults in their church family. These young people are learning and building a closer relationship with God - just like their parents are. Shanon used to think she could do it on her own, now sees now that it really does take a village to build one’s faith.

Shanon comments that it has been a joy for her to walk alongside these kiddos and watch them grow in their faith. She has been “growing up” with many these young students since

kindergarten and is excited to watch what they do with their faith as they continue to grow.

Jody has also been volunteering in children’s ministry since 2010.

He started out in kindergarten, followed by a year in 6th grade, then two years in 2nd/3rd grade and is currently in the K-2 area.

Jody feels that at a time when so many seem to be straying from attending church regularly, seeing the young people worshipping and learning to serve and love the Lord is really moving. He’ll sometimes catch himself holding back a tear because it is so powerful to witness the children participating in the praise/ worship part of the morning. They know the words; they understand the meaning. Jody says it’s awesome, and they “get it” so much better than he did growing up the son of a Baptist minister where his dad would often say he was proud to be known as “Jody Brown’s dad.” He now understands as he loves hearing “you’re Trip’s dad” or “that’s Teague’s dad.” It’s pretty awesome to hear those words.

Jody can’t think of a negative to serving in this way. He concludes, “The impact you’ll have on the kiddos you come in contact with will be great. The impact they’ll have on you will probably be even greater. Just do it!”

Jody and Shanon Brown

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TIDINGS SPRING 2016

CHILDREN

Ty Martin Said “Yes!”

by Andrea Stephens

Ty Martin is a 10-year-old 5th grader at Country Lane Intermediate. His red hair and black glasses give clue to his personality. Inquisitive, contemplative and self-described as “ornery” (perhaps a little touch of Opie Taylor mixed in there). Like most boys his age, he enjoys sports, especially basketball.

However, a recent accident on the playground caused him to slip and land wrong on his leg. The broken bone near his ankle was put in a boot. It got him benched from the court but also gave him use of the school elevator and dismissed from class early. Yet the best part were the cards he received from his Asbury Children’s Ministry leaders and friends. He was pleasantly surprised they noticed he was missing from his Sunday morning class during his rehabilitation. These were the people who had become special to Ty because they were the ones who helped lead him through a time of questioning the most important decision he would ever make.

The questions were triggered after last June’s VBS called Diggin’ It. On the final day, the gospel was explained and an invitation extended to give their lives to Christ. Ty wanted to know more. The questions started. “What will it mean to give my life to Jesus? Is heaven real? What will happen to me when I die?” He needed to ask his questions, get answers, and make a decision.

So he did. He talked with his parents, Jason and Ginny, who had been praying for the day Ty would make his own decision to be a disciple of Jesus. Another key conversation occurred with ministry leader, Christina Treat, at CherryBerry over razzleberry yogurt with candy rocks and lots of whipped cream. Ty told her how God answered his prayer about his dog, so he knew God was real. They discussed eternal life in heaven, the fact that Jesus died for him, then prayed together.

Soon after, Ty made his decision. During prayers with his parents, Ty talked with Jesus asking Him to forgive his sins and come into his life. It was a precious and unforgettable moment for the Martins, as was his baptism that followed.

So, what has changed for a 10-year-old boy with Jesus living in his heart?

“It seems easier to pray now,” Ty shared. His parents have seen his increased desire to do things for others, especially on Asbury’s Day of Service. As Ty continues to grow in the Lord, he is thinking about going on a mission trip when he gets to 6th grade. Young Ty is on the road to a significant life in Christ. Kudos to his parents and the Asbury Children’s Ministry for nurturing him along.

Ty Martin

SPRING 2016 TIDINGS

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LOCAL OUTREACH

Children Raising Children

By Lucienda Denson

Ruth Benson graduated from Union High School last year. She’s now 18 and is attending TCC full time in pursuit of a degree that will help her provide for herself – and her now 4-year-old daughter, Irene.

Ruth is pretty, quieter than most young women her age and at the same time more poised and outgoing. She has the body of an athlete, and at one time dreamed about being a professional soccer player. That dream has been replaced by another, more urgent one.

She wants to learn about nutrition, diet and living a healthy lifestyle, then teach people how to live healthier, nutritionally balanced lives. Her knowledge will help other people, but it will also help her grow her healthy, strong child into a healthy, strong adult – and provide a sustaining, good income for them both.

Nataly Muniz, at 15, is getting ready to celebrate her daughter Yaretzai’s second birthday.

Yaretazi is an Aztec word, and it means Always be Loved. That, and financial security, is what she wants for her daughter.

Nataly is petite, pretty and smiles often. She attends Union Alternative Center.

The curriculum is set up for accelerated learning. She will be able to make up for the class time she lost when Yaretazi was born and still graduate with her age group.

When she graduates, she will not enroll in college, because she can’t afford to attend. Instead, her goal is to go to work for a company that will train her to become an industrial electrical engineer. In the length of time it would take to get a degree, she can be certified and will be one of what she believes is less than 10 percent of women in that field.

Nataly Muniz and Ruth Benson

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TIDINGS SPRING 2016

LOCAL OUTREACH

Ruth and Nataly had different goals before they became mothers, and visualized different paths for the rest of their lives.

Yet they share experiences that are almost identical. Both girls grew up in homes where a central father figure was no longer present by the time they were 3 or 4 years old.

Both girls became pregnant at the age of 13. Ruth was impregnated by her boyfriend, who for a while was marginally involved with his daughter. The father of Nataly’s daughter was 27 years old and suddenly no longer around when he learned she was pregnant.

Both girls had to make the decision to either have abortions or allow their pregnancies to go to term. If they chose the latter, they also chose to be responsible for another life when they themselves should have been experiencing the joys of childhood.

tired. I wonder if I will ever get a break, and I wonder how long I can keep doing this,” Ruth said. But she will, for her daughter.

Both girls are acutely aware their relationships with their daughters are for a lifetime. “It’s a day-to-day routine that becomes monthly and yearly. While you’re still trying to get them to school, they will grow up, and you will still be worrying about them, because they’re your children,” Nataly said.

Young Life and CAP – Community Action Project – help and partner with several area schools and churches (including Asbury) to provide much-needed services as well as psychological and spiritual support to the young mothers and their children.

Ruth and Nataly are only two of the many girls in the Tulsa area served by YoungLives, an international ministry with a goal of making life a little – and often a lot – more tolerable for girls who are both single mothers and students. Participants in the program at Asbury are primarily from Union Alternative, Jenks and Margaret Hudson’s Tulsa campus. “YoungLife is an international ministry and believes in the power and effectiveness of going to where teens are, to meet them on their own ‘turf,’ provide life skills mentors and to consistently show up to build authentic friendships with them,” said Kalyn Reinhardt, who is both a parttime employee of the ministry and a volunteer.

“My mother wanted me to have an abortion,” Ruth said. At first she considered it. It was her mostly absent father, described by Ruth as the more religious of her parents, who proved to be her strongest supporter and encouraged her to have her child. Ruth and her father are closer now, and he is an active grandparent.

She believes her choice was the right one for herself, Irene–and ultimately–her mother and father.

Nataly does not regret allowing her pregnancy go to term. “This is God’s child,” she said, her sleeping daughter’s head on her shoulder. “All children are God’s children.”

Their daily schedules are also exhaustingly similar, although Ruth and Nataly are both still living at home. Up by six o’clock, both girls rise, get themselves and their daughters dressed, fed and ready for the day. Their daughters go to day care, and they go to class. When class is over, Ruth usually goes to work. Her schedule is a little better now. She no longer has to work on Sunday, which means she can spend unstructured time with Irene and do homework. For Nataly, weekends also allow her to spend time with her daughter, and with homework.

Their responsibilities are demanding, and exhausting.

“Sometimes, in the mornings, I just don’t want to get up, I’m so

YoungLives and CAP provide many services, from something as vital and essential as safe, nurturing child care to mentors for the young mothers. It also gives the girls opportunities to just relax and be what they are – teenage girls. Both are Christian ministries, but the “Christian” part is more often in the form of actions, not words. “If the girls wish to know more about Christianity, counselors will happily share, but they will not force,” Kalyn said.

“I want the pastor and missions counselors at Asbury to know how thankful we (YoungLives) are for their partnership with us. They let us use their facility and their child care, and they do a number of other things for us and support us financially. It’s literally a game changer for this ministry. It frees time for me to not worry about the child care. I know the facility is always going to be fantastic and the child care will be wonderful.”

SPRING 2016 TIDINGS

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CARE & MARRIAGE

Our Journey through Grief after the Death of Two Family Members

By Chris and Michael Eldridge (As told to Charlene Giles)

(Chris) When I picked up the phone that evening, I had no idea my world was about to change forever. The date was May 7, 1994. I was only 15 and home alone when I received word that my 17-year-old brother, Mark, had been in a car accident. Within 24 hours, he was gone. It was more than I could absorb, and for months I withdrew and pulled into myself in grief. People in the Asbury youth group loved Mark, and they loved me too. Mark was known for living life fully and for making great music. They even put his guitar up on the wall of the (old building) Asbury Breakaway room in memory of him, and as a reminder to teens that life is fragile. The leaders reached out to me, but I wasn’t able to respond much. I really appreciated how they didn’t give up and kept on caring about me. One thing that finally helped me begin to come out of my shell was when I tried to focus on remembering the good times I’d had with Mark.

(Michael) I was only 5 when Mark died, and the two of us didn’t have the close relationship that Chris and Mark had, mostly because of our age difference. I think it is very important to remember that each relationship is different, so we shouldn’t judge others for grieving in their own unique way, based on their level of connection and their own personalities. I believe that even young children grieve, but sometimes adults forget that. It helped me so much that my mom and others told me all about what had happened, even the hard parts. I felt included. We are very blessed that when our family goes through terrible times, we always draw closer together for support rather than splitting apart, like I’ve seen happen in some families.

(Chris) Another Asbury member, Nancy Montee, went through the death of her husband, Alan, at a young age; and in honor of their children, Megan and Alex, Nancy began a Bear Bag ministry to support children during their times of grief. Our family was asked to put together a coloring book to be included in the bag along with crayons.

My brother, Ryan, and I still remember coming up with ideas for that coloring book, though I know it has been revised since then. It meant a lot to our family to honor Mark that way. (Editor’s note: Bear Bags are still available

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at the south Guest Services desk for anyone who wants to give one to a child who has been through the death of someone they love.)

(Michael) Our dad, Richard, died on December 13, 2011, after complications from many years of fighting leukemia.

We actually thought several times we might lose him, but he kept on rallying. At the time, I didn’t truly appreciate how hard those years must have been for him, but now that I have gone through over three years of life-changing symptoms due to a malformation in my brain, I admire him even more.

(Chris) When Dad died, I had a wife, two children, and a full time job. I was so busy that I didn’t have time to focus on grieving. I was glad the church family showed so much support. People were always bringing food and coming by to see Mom. One of my hardest times without Dad was the first time I went by the Asbury room where he’d taught his Sunday school class for over 30 years. It almost felt like I might see him standing there! There are still times when I hear certain music, or watch an exciting sports event when I think, “I sure wish he could be here!”

TIDINGS TIDINGS MARCH SPRING / APRIL 20162016

CARE & MARRIAGE

Chris and Michael Eldridge

(Michael) When I finally went to GriefShare a few years after Dad died, I really liked one of the exercises in the book that is a checklist of common symptoms of grief.

I learned how we each grieve differently, and how grief affects our whole being: body, mind, emotions and spirit.

GriefShare also helped me learn that we never get over the death of a person we love, but we do get to the point where we are able to move on with life. I’m getting married in April, and it really makes me sad that Dad can’t be there.

But I know Dad would be glad I am continuing to live.

(Chris) The first time I attended GriefShare was with my wife, Mandy, who was grieving the loss of her mother. It was really helpful to watch videos showing several different people talking about their lives and what helped them process their grief. Later, I went through again, and have also attended Beyond GriefShare. It made me feel more normal to find out I wasn’t the only one who had times when I hardly knew which direction was up.

(Michael) My dad was known for his deep faith, but I had a sort of crisis of faith when he died. I knew Dad was in heaven, but, for a while, I lost sight of my heartfelt

connection with God. I needed to go back to my basic beliefs, and I have, but it took me some time to work through all the questions I had. I learned that it’s OK to express all our feelings to God, not just the positive ones.

(Chris) One thing that helps me continue healing is when I can be encouraging and comforting to others. I know from my own experience that it is important never to be too pushy, but also not to quit trying to connect.

(Michael) It sort of surprised me how helpful GriefShare was. I think that, in our society, men are encouraged to just move along and not dwell on death. Maybe young men are especially in a hurry to leave the sadness behind. But grief is one of those things that doesn’t go away until we process it. I’d encourage men of all ages to give GriefShare a try.

Whether we like it or not, grief is a part of life, and we can all benefit from learning how to grow through the process.

Editor’s note: the current GriefShare classes meet Wednesdays through May 18, at 3:00 pm or 6:00 pm in Room 2319 (child care available in the evening only). Adults of all ages are welcome to begin attending at any time.

MARCH SPRING / APRIL 20162016 TIDINGS TIDINGS

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DISCIPLESHIP

QCommons

By Jon Odom

On Thursday, March 3, 255 individuals gathered in the Asbury Venue to experience a unique learning environment called QCommons. The purpose was to create a forum where Christians could gather and explore the challenges and opportunities of our cultural moment. Over 70 cities around the globe participated in QCommons—from places like Philadelphia, Dallas and St. Louis to global cities like Auckland, New Zealand, Geneva, Switzerland and Blantyre, Malawi. Half the event included globally simulcast videos and the other half featured locally curated talks. For Tulsa’s first QCommons, we enjoyed presentations from Union Public Schools Superintendent, Dr. Kirt Hartzler, on the theme of Public Education in a Shifting Community. Restore Hope’s Rev. Jeff Jaynes discussed the meaningful gains and work still to be done in Tulsa toward Eradicating Chronic Homelessness. For our last local presentation, we heard from Tulsa Race Riot scholar and current director of the John Hope Franklin Center for Reconciliation, Dr. Jocelyn Payne, on the theme of Bridging the Racial Divide. One dynamic of QCommons that made these presentations particularly dynamic and poignant was the presentation format. Sitting just below the speakers, facing the audience was a wide-screen TV with a clock that

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started counting down from nine minutes. Each speaker (with the exception of one national panel discussion) had only nine minutes to address their particular topic. This meant there was no room for the typical greeting, joke and expression of gratitude that accompanies most guestspeaking roles like this. The speakers had to jump into the heart of their topic from get-go. This deliberate restriction for the speakers resulted in an abundance of dense, thoughtful content for the audience to wrestle with.

There were three global presentations interspersed throughout the evening. The first was from David Kinnaman, president of the Barna Group. Some may remember that the Barna Group conducted an intensive study of Asbury several years ago. At the conclusion of their study, Kinnaman came and spent some time with Pastor Tom and members of our governance committees.

At QCommons, Kinnaman presented some of the findings of his most recent national study on what people think of people of faith. Pastor Tom referenced Kinnaman’s newest book—co-written with Q founder Gabe Lyons—in our Lenten series Following Jesus. In short, there is increasing mistrust and hostility toward people of faith. More and

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DISCIPLESHIP

Dr. Jocelyn Payne discusses issues of race.

Learning and sharing was the goal for the 255 indviduals gathering at the Venue .

more, we are considered irrelevant and even extremist.

What does it look like for the church to flourish when we are doing ministry in these cultural conditions? There is much more to share from Kinnaman’s presentation—luckily, we’ll hear about more opportunities to interact with Kinnaman and Lyons’ work in the months to come. Stay tuned…

A panel discussed The Future of Neighboring. What does it look like for the church to fulfill the command of Jesus to love our neighbor as ourselves in the 21st century?

One panelist—Julie Mavis—said that she experienced an insight into good-neighbor behavior while traveling internationally. While visiting an overseas orphanage, she wondered why she wasn’t aware of any orphanages in the US. Then, a thought occurred to her. We do have a system to oversee orphans—it’s called foster care. Mavis admonished the church to enter the uncertain and yet rewarding world of foster care. Eugene Cho discussed the refugee crisis and the Christian response to immigration.

And Precious Jones talked about the need for Christians to engage in relational mentoring, especially in poor, urban communities that are experiencing an epidemic of absent fathers (through negligence, incarceration or death). The

Dr. Kirt Hartzler is on clock on the topic of Public Education.

fields are ripe for harvest. There are endless opportunities for the church to testify to the love of the Father in the way we care for our neighbors.

The presentation that received the strongest feedback came from Andy Crouch, author and general editor of Christianity Today. Andy’s talk, entitled Leading in a Skeptical Culture, laid out a framework for understanding healthy leadership from a Christian perspective. Andy leveraged a simple 2x2 chart to demonstrate the dynamics of leadership with authority on the x axis and vulnerability on the y axis—two ideas that seem contradictory, but actually complement one another. True flourishing, Crouch insists, requires both authority (which leaders universally desire) and vulnerability (which many leaders and their followers prefer to deny). When that balance is absent, people and organizations suffer the cost.

If a leader has high authority, but demonstrates low vulnerability, there will be exploitation. They are all about control. They’re authoritative, demanding and will take advantage of those underneath them. Persons who have low authority | continued on next page

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QCommons

continued from previous page and low vulnerability are basically withdrawn, aloof, absent. They have disengaged completely and are helpful to no one. People who have high vulnerability, but low authority suffer. Think of those persons who have no access to relationships or resources to guide them through crisis; they suffer. We will all ultimately face this reality at death, when our vulnerability is its greatest and our authority over our situation is the lowest.

Against all of these options, true flourishing can happen when persons have high authority (ability to influence their situation) and high vulnerability. Authority is about being created in God’s image. Human beings are at the peak of God’s creation, designed to be like him, ruling over the fish and the birds and all living creatures. But we are also meant to experience vulnerability, or “exposure to meaningful risk” (Crouch, Strong and Weak, p. 41).

Vulnerability is not merely oversharing or unnecessary transparency. It’s about opening ourselves up to the chance of losing something or someone we value. It’s a willingness to submit one’s self to suffering. Crouch concluded his talk by reminding us that we do have one example of a person with the highest authority—one at whose Name every knee in heaven and earth will one day bow—but who also stands in the presence of his Father with wounds in his feet, his side and his hands. Our Lord Jesus is one who has been given “all authority in heaven and earth” and who made himself vulnerable that we might flourish. We who follow the Wounded Healer are commissioned with all authority to enter into the places of the world’s greatest vulnerabilities with a message of hope.

You’ll be hearing about QCommons again. I hope you’ll be there next time.

(top) Rev. Jeff Jaynes of Restore Hope discusses the state of Tulsa’s homeless community, and (bottom) Rev. Gloria McGee-Denton and attendees share their thoughts on the night’s topics.

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TIDINGS SPRING 2016

LOCAL OUTREACH

One Person Can Make a Difference, One Act of Kindness at a Time

By Shantel Nelson

Marcy McMurry

“It’s impossible,” said Pride. “It’s risky,” said Experience. “It’s pointless,” said Reason. “Give it a try,” whispered the Heart.

(Unknown Author) These were the thoughts Tulsa stay-at-home mom, Marcy McMurry, a devoted member of Asbury, pondered as she prayed to God for her next calling. Soon after, at a Sunday service, she heard Pastor Tom share how important it is to get involved in the community. “It was almost like he was talking directly to me,” she said. At that moment, she was determined to take the next step but did not have a clue where to start. She prayed to God for the answer. The next morning, she received an email that contained only one line, “If you are interested in volunteering at Walt Whitman Elementary, please contact........” She knew this was where the Lord wanted her to go, and she stepped out in faith.

Over the past three years, Marcy has been able to put her social work background, passion for education, and the love of doing the Lord’s will to work at Walt Whitman Elementary. This school has opened her eyes to the major challenges that teachers across Tulsa face on a daily basis with the long hours, big emotional investment and not being paid nearly enough for the important work they do. She feels we need to help the students and teachers be the best they can be. It may be as easy as spending an hour making copies, helping with a party, etc. Even though these services seem simple in nature, it frees the teachers and staff to spend more time with their family and friends.

It brings great sadness to Marcy’s heart to know Tulsa has a crisis in educating its children with the massive budget shortfall, and it seems overwhelming that there isn’t much one person can do. But

Marcy believes we can make a positive impact one act of kindness at a time. No, it won’t solve every problem, but being willing to lend a helping hand does make a difference. For this reason, Marcy shows up regularly to show the children and staff there is someone around them that truly cares and want them to do well.

“I believe my volunteering has made a positive impact on my children,” said Marcy. They hear her talk about her experiences and want to get involved. They have served Whitman on 2nd Saturday and Day of Service and have even assisted in the classroom when their schedule permitted.

As Marcy volunteers, she is reminded of Colossians 3:17, “Whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.” There are so many ways to volunteer by helping in the classrooms or the library, making copies, decorating bulletin boards, providing meals for teachers, chaperoning field trips, helping with events like “Cat in the Hat Day” and much more. In addition, you can offer a warm smile and an encouraging word to a child who is having a difficult day. You can even double your amazing service by bringing a friend to assist as well.

Martin Luther King Jr. said, “Everybody can be great because anybody can serve. You don’t have to have a college degree to serve. You don’t have to make a subject and verb agree to serve.

You only need a heart full of grace. A soul generated by love.”

Will you join Marcy?

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LOCAL OUTREACH

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LOCAL OUTREACH

The Cat in the Hat comes to Walt Whitman Elementary

By Diane Toburen and Barbie Paige Recently A&W (Asbury & Whitman) held our annual “Dr. Seuss Read Across America Day” at Asbury’s Partner in Education school, Walt Whitman Elementary. This year, 23 volunteers from Asbury and Youth at Heart donned Seuss-like hats and garb to celebrate reading through guest readers, a celebrity speaker and a door- decorating contest.

Sixth grade “ambassadors,” who acted as hosts for the event, greeted guest readers at the door. The readers and their ambassadors donned a “Cat in the Hat” hat and shared their favorite Dr. Seuss book with students in grades Pre-K through 4th grade.

Pastor Tom Harrison visited with Nicky DeMoss and her class of eager first graders. The students had been preparing for the event by doing special creativity projects and reading Dr. Seuss books. “They’ve been looking forward to this for weeks,” said DeMoss.

Following the class readings, the celebrity reader spoke to 2nd through 6th graders. This year it was Alton Carter, author of the book The Boy Who Carried Bricks, which is available in the Asbury library. Alton, currently youth pastor at First Methodist Church in Stillwater, grew up in great poverty and the foster care system. He spoke to the students about his life and how important it is to make good choices. His words of encouragement were inspiring to all the students and adults who heard him speak.

Through the year A&W volunteers serve as reading listeners, lunch buddies, classroom and workroom volunteers, leaders with reading and knitting clubs, and more. Anyone interested can join this rewarding ministry and share your love of Christ with the Whitman community by contacting Volunteer Coordinator Cathy Carney at carneyclub@ sbcglobal.net and join the fun next year!

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GLOBAL OUTREACH

The Renkema Family, a Mission Trip Together

By Melissa Renkema There is something special about being involved in a church as a family. Over the years, everyone in my family has participated in various trips with Asbury, often two or three of the five of us venturing out together. It is a family tradition to have dinner together and tell our trip stories after we all come home from the spring break trips, which is always an adventure in and of itself.

Experiencing these trips for myself is always amazing, but there is something so special about witnessing how the different travels have impacted my family members throughout the years.

One of my favorite Asbury trips is to Rio Bravo, Mexico. There is amazing people, great food, satisfying work and there is always the powerful presence of our Lord moving big-time.

This January, I somehow managed to coerce all the members of my family to participate in the college trip to Rio Bravo. I was

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content to mark this trip as a good one just because the five of us were going together, but this puny mindset paled in comparison to the things that our God had already prepared for us.

Not only did big things happen in my life, but I also got to see my family transform before me. I saw my dad step fully back into his role as our family spiritual leader. I saw my mom step out of her comfort zone and take another step into faith. I saw my older sister win more mini-battles over the chronic pain she experiences due to a long battle with her tumor. I saw my little sister re-engage and begin to comprehend the role she plays in the Kingdom. I saw tremendous joy flow freely as we served and laughed and grew as a family unit. These moments are fantastic and will be cherished and remembered by the Renkema family for years to come, but something greater than our small family growth was at work that week. “Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven has come near.�

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GLOBAL OUTREACH

During the evenings, we were equipped with new insights into this thing called the Kingdom of Heaven. And during the days, we went into the community as a team, all the while pondering together the Kingdom our Father has built for us. And though there is still much to learn, I think we got a beautiful glimpse into what it may be all about as we lived out what we have only just begun to wrap our minds around. For that precious week, we, the 33 of us who hopped into vans in the Asbury parking lot just as we were and drove 12 hours to a small community in Mexico, were the Kingdom of Heaven.

My family was and is more than the five individuals I share DNA with; my family is those covered in the blood of our Savior. Therefore, I saw my sisters trust more deeply as they let our Lord into new areas of their lives. I saw my brothers step up into their roles as men of God. I saw my siblings allow themselves to be vessels of healing love. I saw brothers and sisters form deeper, stronger and more meaningful relationships with one another as well as with our gracious Heavenly Father.

The week we spent in Rio Bravo, our team acted as the sons and daughters of our Lord, the brothers and sisters of Christ.

The radical adoption that has claimed our souls gave our ragtag team the extraordinary power to heal and change and encourage the lives of the people we encountered. For that week, we were able to work from the strength of the Kingdom that is within us, as we caught a glimpse of the bold and all-consuming love that is our God. We walk away, not with memories to hold dear, but with a new way to live and to interact with the world we have been placed into.

n h o m e w h er e ia t is r h C a n i n up I h a v e g r o w n t o ex p r e s s m y t h o u g h t s o n a sy it has been e . Growing up in a Christia good B ib l e G o d a n d t h e e p r e s s u r e o n me t o b e a D u r i n g som d e. home has put other students in my gra om the y fr role model for the decision to turn awa till today, I s. S made high school I ke my own foolish choice will keep my mind h at d ma the church an hoosing the right crowd t trips and being io n it h c do struggle w ut honestly going on miss ins is one of my nd s od, b focused on G al of the distractions a church group twice, my f ro m disconnected ve been to Rio Bravo with spending a month s. I’ ill be f av or i t e t h i n g s c h o o s e t o g o b a c k . I w e t h e y are d o i n g e l i ev lwa y and I would a rphanage this summer. I b ies around it. I love un it rt o with Big Hea or Reynosa and the comm ids. he k gs f a m a z in g t h in n w or k an d p l a y in g wi t h t ct i o doing constru ema - Nicole Ren k

Family and home have been redefined. Family extends to all the precious children of the Creator, and therefore, home is any place where two or more are gathered in His name, for He is there with us. And this is the beginning of the Kingdom of Heaven.

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GLOBAL OUTREACH

God’s Call to Mission in Mexico

by Jim Davis Are you open to God’s call and leading?

Are you willing to make yourself available? If so, God will use you in ways you might not have imagined.

That’s the case for Maddie White, an Asbury member and freshman at OSU. She will be spending five weeks this summer in Reynosa, Mexico, working at an orphanage where Asbury’s Rio Bravo, Mexico, mission teams also work.

The sequence of events leading up to her decision to serve there is a long one and is rooted in Asbury’s Spring Break Missions program. Maddie participated in all six spring break trips available during her years as a student: inner-city Houston, the mountains of Red Bird, Kentucky, Jamaica and Guatemala. It was during her junior year in Guatemala where leaders Joe and Fufi Brower invited students to be part of a Rio Bravo student team in the summer of 2014. She was immediately interested.

However, Maddie was a cheerleader, and the Rio Bravo trip was in conflict with a summer cheer camp she needed to attend. In talking and praying through that choice, she decided to quit cheer and head to Mexico, feeling a call to mission.

She fell in love with Mexico and those she had interaction with. She is a relational person, and her favorite part was talking to people, despite the fact she couldn’t speak Spanish. The team was also able to visit Big Heart Orphanage in the neighboring city of Reynosa.

After interning with Asbury’s Student Ministry during the following year, Maddie returned to Guatemala on spring break of her senior year, and missions was confirmed in her heart.

Maddie White

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GLOBAL OUTREACH

Rio Bravo Mission Team

She decided on that trip she would be a Spanish major in college so she wouldn’t miss out on the joy of being able to speak to those around her.

God abundantly blessed her in that desire when she joined the Rio Bravo college trip the first week of January 2016. After just one semester of college Spanish, she was able to carry on conversations far beyond what she thought capable with the children in Rio Bravo. She recognized it as a gift from God and gives Him the glory for that extraordinary ability.

The January team also spent time at the Big Heart Orphanage she had visited a year and a half prior. Big Heart was started in 2000 by an American who goes by the name Gator. Asbury Men’s Ministry met him years ago in a Home Depot parking lot near the border in Texas and formed a great relationship that continues to grow. Gator has a heart to serve kids who need a place to stay and also runs a school. All his work is done in the name of Jesus Christ, and he desires for the children to be transformed by the gospel so they can bring others to Christ through their own lives.

Gator’s work also transformed Maddie’s heart and she connected well with the children there. In particular, she

connected with a 16-year-old girl who was taking care of her younger sister when they came to live at Big Heart. Maddie was moved by this girl’s mature outlook on life and desire to one day become a meteorologist.

Gator gave the Asbury team a great compliment by inviting students to return as interns without going through the normal application process, because he sees that Asbury students are spiritually prepared to serve. Maddie responded to God’s call and will be going this summer. She wants to pour into the lives of those there at Big Heart, including her new 16-yearold friend. Maddie will be developing relationships, teaching English, cooking and working on the new building for the middle school. Fellow Asbury student Nicole Renkema will be working alongside her for the same five weeks.

Maddie just served this spring as a college leader on the 9th grade Spring Break Mission team in Memphis, Tennessee. She was able to share with them that when she was in 9th grade, she never imagined Spring Break Missions as anything beyond her senior year of high school. However, because of her experiences on Spring Break Missions and because she made herself available to God’s leading, she will be serving in Mexico this summer… and in many more places she hasn’t yet imagined.

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WORSHIP

What’s at your core?

Quadrant

by Tom Harrison

SOFT CENTER – HARD EDGE This person knows little about their faith, but they express opinions anyway.

Their opinions may contradict scripture, but they really don’t care. They are shallow or hollow on the inside but bombastic on the outside. Having a hard edge means they are disrespectful and often unkind. People without faith dislike hard-edged people. Paul emphasized the importance of love in 1 Corinthians 13: “Though I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I gain nothing.”

I have 78 proverbial sayings (“axioms”) which help form my worldview. Some are John Wesley quotes (his last words: “The best of all – God is with us!”). Some are work-related: “Hire based on three components: good character, team chemistry and competency.” Some are words of advice I share with others (I tell the couples I marry to “lower your expectations; raise your commitment.”) Some deal with pastoral ministry: “Sheep bite.” (If interested, these are available – though some need explanation.)

My axioms are my core beliefs about life, work, priorities, relationships, perceptions and faith.

I’ve just added axiom No. 79, courtesy of a book by David Kinnaman and Gabe Lyons, “Good Faith.”

Axiom No. 79 is: “Firm Center, Soft Edges” (See chapter 16). “Firm Center, Soft Edges” will be one of those core ways of thinking. Here’s the concept in my own words.

Just as we have a central nervous system which regulates most functions of the brain and body, so we all have a central belief system. This is our “CENTER.” Some Christians have a robust and knowledgeable faith core. “Good Faith” calls this: “FIRM.” Others know very little about their faith (“SOFT”).

FIRM CENTER – HARD EDGE This person understands the faith but tends to be disrespectful and unkind to people. The term “emotionally unintelligent” is a good description. Simply put, they are mean. They run over people. I think the Pharisees were drawn to this category. They were the hardest for Jesus to reach. They had their minds made up, and they didn’t like outsiders.

Our faith is not only about loving God, Jesus said to “love our neighbor as ourselves,” too. The book refers to our way of relating to others as “EDGE.” Some have very HARD EDGES in relationships, while others show respect (SOFT EDGES).

“Good Faith” has these quadrants.

Let me explain the implications:

Quadrant

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WORSHIP

Quadrant

Jesus embodied this FIRM CENTER – SOFT EDGE! “Love the sinner (soft edge) but hate the sin (firm center).” Christians must understand our faith and doctrine. We must also live it out with respect and kindness. Jesus knew who He was, and because of that, He would stoop and wash feet. He had CONFIDENT HUMILITY.

SOFT CENTER – SOFT EDGE This person is genuinely nice, but because they don’t know the faith, they would never be judgmental. They will also never be witnesses, either - after all, what would they say? Unity is more important than truth for them. (All four of these quadrants are also parenting styles. When parents are “soft center/edge” someone else must discipline their kids.)

In our quest to be follow Jesus, I’d also point out that we need boundaries. Sometimes, our soft edges in relating to people can cause us to compromise the message. Sometimes, our hard edges surface when we are around people (or even entire groups of people) we don’t like.

As I was talking about FIRM CENTER – SOFT EDGE with our staff (thanks to Charlene Giles who helped me come up with a workable diagram), I actually made a statement which sounded like a FIRM CENTER – HARD EDGE position. I heard what I said and then confessed: “Wow! That sounds like a FIRM CENTER – HARD EDGE comment.”

We want you to have a passion to LEARN about the faith! We also want you to have a passion to SERVE. It’s not an “either/or” choice but a “both/and.” This is most urgent and this is most important! We need to get it right, for this is the way of following Jesus.

FIRM CENTER – SOFT EDGE 1 Peter 3:15 says: But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. (FIRM CORE) Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect (SOFT EDGE). This is the quadrant to pursue. However, if we have a firm center, we’ll experience being called “an extremist” by a culture who doesn’t understand who we are or why we live as we do.

Quadrant

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DISCIPLESHIP

Living Outside the Box Reflections on the IF: Gathering

By Rhiannon Baker

Rhiannon Baker

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DISCIPLESHIP

THE VENUE NEVER LOOKED SO BEAUTIFUL as a couple hundred women from our church and community gathered together in February to collectively ask ourselves: What if we lived like Jesus? As the weekend unfolded, I realized just how loaded that question was as many layers of truth were peeled back by each speaker, and we were all challenged to dig deep.

The IF:Gathering was created to equip and empower women to know Jesus more, so we can share Jesus more, so we can learn how to live out God’s unique calling for each of us as beloved daughters of God. Though our callings differ in many ways, we are all ultimately called to make disciples. In order to live like Jesus, we have to really know Jesus. We’d have to follow Jesus.

We’d have to love like Jesus. We’d have to go out and give Jesus to others, all while giving God every ounce of the glory.

As women, we often find ourselves categorized: by age, by our education, by marital status, whether or not we have children, what type of children we have, whether or not we work, where we work, where we live, where we go to church, what we wear, and on, and on, and on. Society categorizes us, people we know categorize us, and sadly, we also categorize ourselves. Sometimes, even worse than that, we allow those categories to define us, to swallow us, and we can have difficulty seeing outside those tight, confined boxes.

To some degree, I like my boxes.

They’re uniform, predictable, comfortable.

To some degree, I like my boxes. They’re uniform, predictable, comfortable. It’s also easy to line them up alongside others’ categorized boxes. A nice, clean, straight line of boxes – all recognizable, not a corner (or hair) out of place. Living life with women whose boxes look just like ours. But Jesus didn’t live in a box. Jesus lived w-a-a-a-ay outside the box. If we want to live like Jesus, we have to not only step outside of those boxes, we have to walk away from them completely. And I think we all know in our heart, that those boxes are ultimately full of lies, judgment and emptiness anyway.

Community is important, but it should not be based solely on your box du jour. There is so much richness in our diversity, so much we can glean from others whose circumstances may not look anything like our own. But we have to be intentional about pursuing that diversity and embracing not just our similarities, but our differences as well. We may be on different paths and be at different stages of our life, but there are two things that are consistent – our love of Christ and our common enemy, who attacks at every chance he gets. The expectations and challenges in a woman’s life are hard and complicated, our lives are messy, and we need each other. As sisters in Christ, we should be locking arms with each other in a deeper, more deliberate way. We need each other, we need a village that we can be real and raw with,

and learn from and grow with. We need a community that will embrace us in the midst of our mess, regardless of what that mess may be. To live like Jesus is to love like Jesus, and He never shied away from the sin or messes of others; He walked right into the mess without hesitation and loved unconditionally.

God placed each of us in our own unique place. Not by accident, but for a purpose. A lot of times, we get wrapped up in trying to figure out what our “purpose” in life is; what is God’s calling for our lives? I think a lot of times, we overthink it; it doesn’t have to be something big, it’s really quite simple. Love God, love others and make disciples. Do what you can, where you can, with what you have. Open your eyes and look at the lives of the people around you. We encounter many different people on a daily/ weekly basis. During those encounters, are we living like Jesus? The opportunity is there, just waiting for us to step into it, to share Him with others, and make disciples of all nations.

Whether that be in our schools, in our workplace, at the grocery store or across town.

The end of the conference ended with a challenge: to be a domino and fall into one another. The domino effect – its name is synonymous with strong imagery. We touch one another’s lives every day, in every moment. In different ways, our dominoes will collide with those of others. But the great news is, we can choose in what way our lives affect the lives of others. We were challenged to write a word or phrase on our domino to be a reminder of what we want to live out. We can’t become complacent and believe that we are here to live just for ourselves or our families or for our church or for our own individual happiness. If we live in such a way, we will miss out on the most beautiful aspects of this life. Don’t be afraid to let your domino fall; we can trust God with its trajectory.

I left the IF:Gathering feeling more encouraged to passionately pursue the love of the Lord, to love others and to make His Name known. I felt cared for by the Asbury team who put this event together, feeding both our stomachs and our souls over the course of the weekend. And last but not least, I felt loved.

I felt loved by the women who sat around my table as we had meaningful conversations. I felt loved by my church for taking the time and making the investment to host this event for our community of women. And I felt loved by a God who knows everything about me and still chooses to love and pursue me, mess and all.

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DISCIPLESHIP

Cheryl Wood

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DISCIPLESHIP

Be “In the Moment” with God

Reflections on the IF: Gathering

By Cheryl Wood

My husband Charlie and I have five kids ranging in age from 13 to 25. We have been attending Asbury regularly for a little over a year, but it has only been since the first of the year that we have made a determined effort to become more involved. We have never been a part of a congregation that is so focused on outreach to both the local community and internationally as well, and that has been a big drawing factor for us. As part of our growing effort to plug in and get to know people, I decided to attend the IF Conference.

After attending the Friday evening session, to be honest, I debated whether or not to go back on Saturday. I was not feeling my best, and I had a lot to do to prepare for company that evening and Sunday. I decided I would give it another chance, but gave myself “permission” to leave at lunch time if I felt like it. I am so glad that I did not convince myself to stay at home on Saturday or to leave at lunch!

Through a series of speakers, the IF Conference addressed what it looks like to walk out our faith in various seasons and circumstances of life. I personally see myself entering a season of transition as most of our kids are college-age or beyond. Being a “planner,” I have found myself often wondering what my purpose will be once they are all out of the home. I like to know what’s down the road, and I’ve enjoyed the feeling of being needed that mothering a large family has provided me. As I heard people speak about what following God looks like in their various seasons of life, one central theme stood out to me. It was simply obedience to what God was calling them to in that moment, and how, if all believers were to do that, Jesus would be represented well to a very needy world. At the end of the conference, we were all given a domino as an illustration that demonstrated how our obedience to God’s calling affects the world around us. We were asked to write on it how we would put into practice what we had learned.

On my domino, I wrote that I want to be obedient IN THE MOMENT (instead of continually second guessing past decisions or trying to plot out the entire future).

I had the opportunity to put that into practice as soon as I got home. Our family was hosting my 91-year-old fatherin-law overnight as sort of a “trial run” for providing breaks for my sister -in-law and brother -in-law with whom he lives. He has stability and memory issues, so I was feeling a little nervous about this. But being obedient in the moment right then simply looked like sitting down and visiting, laughing with and listening to him. It did not require that I know how longer visits will go in the future or that I had to make our home feel perfect. My only job right then was to make sure he felt welcome and loved.

And it was enough.

I now have an alarm on my phone that goes off each morning simply reminding me to ask God, “What does obedience to You look like today?” Sometimes that looks like stopping what I’m doing when our college-age daughter comes home to hear her talk about what her friends are going through so I know how to pray for them.

A lot of days it’s simply being flexible and making sure I have enough food in the house to feed those same friends when they show up unexpectedly...I guess I really am still in the thick of mothering, after all. At times, obedience just means listening and not having to have the last word.

Or it could mean praying right there in the driveway with my neighbor instead of just saying, “I’ll be praying for you.” Maybe, in a season down the road, it will mean being involved in “bigger” things like some of the speakers we heard at IF. Maybe not. Sometimes obedience to Jesus in the moment looks soft and loving and accepting.

Sometimes it will require hard words and a strong hatred for sin. There’s really not a formula, just direction from God’s Word and a willingness to put it into practice.

MARCH SPRING / APRIL 20162016 TIDINGS TIDINGS

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STUDENTS

Transformed

by God at the High School Retreat

By Katelyn Moore and Caroline Smallwood

There is a lot that goes into planning a youth retreat. Leaders have to be found, students have to register online, curriculum has to be written and a theme has to be chosen. This is all done with the hope that lives will be changed and the Holy Spirit will show up in and through the students. That is exactly what happened at this year’s high school retreat.

My perspective of this event was unique and humbling. I was able to go with the main purpose of serving behind the scenes.

As I watched from that perspective, what I saw was beyond explanation said Caroline. Katelyn and Josh, our high school ministers, are the perfect balance of tough love and beautiful compassion. They do not hesitate to challenge these students to be all that they can be, and they do not hesitate to cry with them when life is not going as it seems it should. “I watched the students soak up their every word and then pour that truth back out in praise during worship. The theme this year was ‘Drift,’ and they focused on what has caused the students to drift from God. If they were willing to come back to Him, He is right there waiting for us,” she said. “This retreat was a true renewal, and the Holy Spirit worked in life-changing ways. Every student on this trip has a story, and we can praise God for all of them, but I would like to share with you two specific stories.”

Rachel is a sophomore girl who goes to Union High School and has gone to Asbury for a few years. I think that we can all agree that it is easier to love the Lord when He is speaking to you and blessing you. But He says that faith is “being sure of what you hope for and certain of what you do not see.” (Hebrews 11:1) Faith

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is exactly what Rachel experienced at the high school retreat. She says, “I have learned that even if I cannot feel God’s presence, He is still guiding me; I need to open my eyes and see how He is influencing me through my own life and the others around me.”

What a beautiful picture of believing in His goodness even when it is not so obvious. We have seen Rachel put this into action at home by sharing her story at an open mic night and becoming a small group leader for 6th grade girls. Rachel has been touched by the Lord and is letting it transform her life.

Griffin is a junior boy who goes to Bixby High School and has also been involved at Asbury for a handful of years. I was fortunate enough to get to know him on this trip, and watching his life change has been amazing. He says that his favorite part of the retreat was “making much closer bonds with all of my friends from my grade, making our relationships focused on Christ not just on having fun.” He continues, “I did not expect the trip to affect me so much emotionally, and I did not realize how much I had drifted from Christ.” Griffin puts this into action every day now. Specifically, he and his friends have decided to meet before church each Wednesday night and talk about the Lord and work on keeping each other accountable.

They have truly turned into leaders and God-seeking men.

All of the hours put into this trip and all of the energy given at this retreat was all worth it because our God is a faithful God and loves His people. Thank you to everyone who made that possible. Join us next year as we continue the adventure of faith with these students.

TIDINGS SPRING 2016

STUDENTS

SPRING 2016 TIDINGS

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SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENTS

Deaths

Luis Ramirez died 12-22-2015. Spouse of Shana Ramirez.

Bonnie Clough died 12-28-2015.

Kenna Higgins died 12-20-2015.

Mark Meigs died 1-2-2016. Spouse of Gina Meigs.

John King, Sr. died 1-19-2016. Spouse of Rita King.

Andrew Kaltenbach died 1-21-2016. Son of Pat Kaltenbach.

Dick Link died 1-28-2016. Spouse of Joan Link.

Teresa Enlow died 1-29-2016.Sister of Melinda Lasiter.

Dee Shaver died 2-4-2016 Martin Brown died 2-6-2016.Spouse of Marilyn Brown.

Judy Johnson died 2-22-2016. Mother of Kathy (& David) Alexander.

Edna Zakharian died 2-21-2016. Mother of Charlotte (& Jeffrey) Jones.

Vernon Jones died 2-19-2016.

Ruthie Lowrie died 3-1-2016.

Ruth Ann Crank died 1-11-2016. Mother of Melissa (& Bob) Perugino. Aunt of Charlie Ryser.

Randy Collinson died 12-17-2015.

Brenda Chockley died 1-14-2016. Spouse of Jon Cooper.

Mary Bond died 1-18-2016. Spouse of Ron Bond.

Next Steps to Joining Asbury 1. Attend a Joining Asbury luncheon.

If you are interested in joining Asbury or finding out more about us, please plan to attend one of the Joining Asbury luncheons held monthly.

At the luncheon, you will meet the pastors, find out more about Asbury’s vision and hear about worship, growth and influence opportunities that are available to you.

Luncheons will take place on the following dates from 12:15–2:15 pm in the Parlor: • April 3 • May 1 Lunch is provided, and child care is available for 6 weeks to 6th grade. Call 918.392.1191 or register online at myasburytulsa.org.

2. Visit with a pastor.

After you attend the Joining Asbury luncheon, visit with a pastor. Signup sheets are available at the luncheon.

3. Schedule to join.

Join on New Member Sunday, which is normally the second Sunday of each month.

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TIDINGS SPRING 2016

SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENTS

Milestone Anniversaries 65 YEARS

35 YEARS

Bob & Donna Keener 5/4/51 Richard & Darlene Baker 6/10/51

Jan & Bernie Skinner 2/21/81

60 YEARS Bill & Joan Matzdorf 4/14/56 Larry & Mary Metz 5/12/56 Don & Barbara Thornton 5/21/56 Wayne & Sammie Kendall 5/25/56 Rollo & Liz Brasuell 5/26/56 Jim & Nancy Harrison 6/2/56 Stanley & Shirley Dean 6/3/56 Ron & Phyllis Allison 6/8/56 Leonard & Mary Stubbs 6/10/56 Marold & Patty Lohrenz 6/17/56

Bob & Donna Keener

Richard & Darlene Baker

Bill & Joan Matzdorf

Don & Barbara Thornton

Jim & Nancy Harrison

Stanley & Shirley Dean

Ron & Phyllis Allison

Leonard & Mary Stubbs

Marold & Patty Lohrenz

Charlie & Ann Hearne

Howard & Virginia Hensley

Sig & Jan Schwier, III

Mike & Louise Borden

Jim & Sandy Conner

Dick & Mary Kay Secrest

Jim & Ronda Norton

John & Ann Hill

20 YEARS Jeff & Cathy Wilkie 4/13/96

5 YEARS Paul & Anisa Kawaoka 4/22/11

55 YEARS Charlie & Ann Hearne 4/16/61 Howard & Virginia Hensley 5/26/61 Sig & Jan Schwier, III 6/4/61 Mike & Louise Borden 6/8/61 Jim & Sandy Conner 6/9/61

50 YEARS Dick & Mary Kay Secrest 3/26/66 Jim & Ronda Norton 4/12/66 John & Ann Hill 4/16/66

SPRING 2016 TIDINGS

31

SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENTS

New Members

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Rodney, Natalie and Brennen Bowen

Bill and Barbara Brown

John and Lanette Celoni with Erika and Justine

Donovan and Lindi Collins with Rachel and Marin

Mary Collins

Chris and Susan Conn

Robert Ellis

Tom and Janis George

Donna Guiou

David and Karen Hall

Ty Hogan

Tiffany Lear

Chad and Amy Marazas with Emily and Ryan

Judy Martin

Mike and Sharon Michel

Carrie Neff

Brad and Michelle Phillips

John and Linda Schueler

Patrick and Laura Shoopman with Emily and Caleb

Charles Smades

John and Ranae Vendel

Dave Watt

Brian and Jennifer Zorb TIDINGS SPRING 2016

Worship Times 8:00 am Traditional Service in Mason Chapel

Looking for Tidings Opportunities?

9:15 am Traditional Service in Sanctuary

We’ve moved that information to Asbury’s Resource Area located in the main lobby.

11:00 am Modern Service in Sanctuary

You can also find information online at www.asburytulsa.org.

General Information Surgery or Hospitalization When you enter the hospital, please designate Asbury as your church. Otherwise, we will not know you are there and a pastor will not know to visit. Some hospitals in the Tulsa area do not ask for this information, so you will need to alert Asbury at 918.492.1771, Monday–Thursday from 8:30 am–5:00 pm and Friday 8:30 am–noon. The after-hour hospitalization and surgery line can be reached at 918.392.1198 and is checked each weekday at 8:30 am. If you know ahead of time and would like a pastor to do a pre-surgery visit, please call 918.492.1771.

We encourage you to use the Hospital Visit Online Form. This can be accessed at any time and is a great way to get your message seen in a timely manner. (Go to www.asburytulsa.org and click on “Get Help” in the center of the page. Next, you will see “Hospital Visits” as the second option where you can click on the “submit a hospital request” link). If this is a surgery, please let us know the date and time of surgery in the comments section. Please know that Asbury pastors want to be in prayer for you and your family.

After-hour Emergencies If you have an emergency or death to report after hours, please call

918.392.1192 and leave a message for the pastor on call. You will be contacted as soon as possible.

Prayer Line If you would like for Asbury’s prayer team to pray for you, please call 918.392.1142 to leave your prayer request which will be included on Asbury’s prayer list.

Death in the Family When a family member dies, you should make one phone call automatically. Contact Victoria Williamson at 918.492.1771 and she will help you make arrangements for your loved one. Victoria will also work with your family to arrange the memorial service at Asbury. www.myasburytulsa.org This website is available to all members as a way to update your contact information, register for events, give online and indicate ministries you would like to receive communication from.

Make sure you have an account and check it out. If you have any problems setting up your account, call Kim at 918.392.2159 or email her at krenkema@asburytulsa.org.

SPRING 2016 TIDINGS

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