Austin Woman February 2012 by Austin Woman Magazine

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Contents

Photo by Eric Doggett.

f e brua ry

56 On the Cover executive action Nina Godiwalla walked away from Wall Street to do it her way. By Terri Schexnayder / Photographed by Eric Doggett

62 Features live your bucket list Tips from an adventurer to help you reach your goals. By Shelley Seale

tenth anniversary Ten years after the first issue went to press, we get an update from cover woman Sara Hickman. By Deborah Hamilton-Lynne

austinwomanmagazine.com 9

Contents f e brua ry

Last Word taking me time on the scene

to your health

20 5 things you must do this month

44 fitness Five keys to a customized workout and lasting success.

26 spotlight event Cirque du Soleil. 28 philanthropy Citizen Generation’s CharityBash Masquerade Ball.

32 Horoscopes Happy birthday, Aquarius.

must list 34 editor picks 36 current chic Save-and-splurge accessories to look great for date night.

38 accessories Spruce up your wardrobe with the 2012 color of the year: tangerine tango.

40 beauty Handy beauty products that will make you gorgeous in no time at all.

gourmet 42 girl walks into a bar Find tasty drinks and a great atmostphere at III Forks.

10 Austin Woman f e b r u a r y 2 0 1 2

46 wellness See what Austin women are doing to promote heart health in Central Texas.

pamper yourself 48 getaway Taking time out for yourself at the Lakeway Resort.

savvy women 74 You Should Know

Meredith Walker.

76 all the right questions

Selecting a

life coach.

78 personal best Make a marketing plan for your love life.

50 best kept secret Get professional salon service for a fraction of the price.

52 guilty pleasure Melt away the tension with an ashiatsu massage.

54 personal assistant How a concierge service or personal assistant can keep you stress-free.

opposite sex 68 relationships Nine cornerstones of a rewarding relationship.

70 simply irresistible Meet David Blue Garcia.

on the cover Photos by Eric Doggett. Hair by Erikka Walor, Avant Salon, avantsalon.com. Makeup by Lauren Lumsden, Rae Cosmetics, raecosmetics.com. Elle Tahari Camellia dress, available at Saks Fifth Avenue, 9722 Great Hills Trail, 512.231.3700. Necklace available at Brooks Brothers, 101 W. Sixth St., 512.476.2359.

Illustration by Sarah Quatrano.

22 around town

72 memo from JB Valentine’s Day from the male perspective.

L O O K I N G G O O D . F E E L I N G G R E A T. E V LT I S T H E N O S U R G E R Y, N O S C A R W AY T O T R E AT VA R I C O S E V E I N S . Remember life before bulging, twisted varicose veins? You can have that freedom again with EVLT (Endovenous Laser Treatment). Our painless, state-of-the-art treatment leaves no scars, relieves symptoms right away and lets you get back to your normal activities immediately. And you can trust the board-certified physicians at the Austin Vein Center to give you the personal consultation and treatment thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s just right for you.

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AWMedia

aw AUSTIN WOMAN MAGAZINE

Co-Founder and Publisher

Melinda Maine Garvey vice president and Co-Publisher

Christopher Garvey Co-Founder

Samantha Stevens Executive Editor

Deborah Hamilton-Lynne Art Director

Victoria Millner ad designer

Collette Mengden marketing and operations director

Dustin Woodhead marketing and operations associate

Sadie Barton Account Executives

Katie Lesnick, Arielle Levy, Kimberly Sanderson, Lindsay Stuart 512.328.2421 editor-at-large

Mary Anne Connolly associate editor

Joelle Pearson contributing editor

Julie Tereshchuk copy editor

Chantal Rice Fashion + Style editor

Erika Cerda Contributors

Terry Allbright, Rudy Arocha, Nicole Carbon, Jill Case, Claire Cella, Eric Doggett, JB Hager, Lillian Hunter, Christine Imperatore, Chrissie Jarrell, Caleb Kerr, Eric Leech, Deborah Mastelotto, Julia McCurley, Molly McManus, Rachel Merriman, Joelle Pearson, Sarah Quatrano, Shelley Seale, Natalie Yerkovich Interns

Jennifer Day, Jane Field, Christine Imperatore, Rachel Merriman, Paulina Radpay, Erica Todd Favorite spot out of copies?

512.328.2421 â&#x20AC;˘ 1213 W. 49th St., Austin, TX 78756 austinwomanmagazine.com

Austin Woman Magazine is a free monthly publication of AW Media Inc. and is available at more than 1,150 locations throughout Austin and in Lakeway, Cedar Park, Round Rock and Pflugerville. All rights reserved. For submission requirements, contact ideas@austinwomanmagazine.com. No part of the magazine may be reprinted or duplicated without permission. For copies of articles, call 512.328.2421.

From the Editor has that right, that possibility, to invent ourselves daily. If a person does not invent herself, she will be invented. So, to be bodacious enough to invent ourselves is wise.” -Maya Angelou I was fortunate to hear Maya Angelou speak when I first moved to Austin and it is something I will never forget. The woman was just plain bodacious. She was the epitome of the Webster’s definition of the word: “unmistakable, remarkable, noteworthy, sexy and voluptuous.” With her distinctive and perfect diction, she read aloud her poem Phenomenal Woman and I was awed. At that moment, I decided to become bodacious — a word with its origins in both “bold” and “audacious”—and I have tried to live that way ever since. Some may consider it both bold and audacious when women take time to put themselves and their needs first, or even to acknowledge that, yes, beyond being a mother, a wife, a friend, a volunteer, an employee or business person, somewhere in all of those roles we play is you! And so we took the bold step of making the February issue all about YOU and taking care of you. I put the word in all caps because taking care of you is one of the least selfish and most important things you can do for all of the people in your life. Our cover woman, Nina Godiwalla, is a shining example of a woman who learned the importance of not losing sight of her authentic self in the men’s club of Wall Street. Taking the lessons learned, she created a business that reflects her experience, as well as her core values, while teaching corporate big shots how to take executive action from a meditative point of view. Shelley Seale might lead what many of us would consider a dream life, traveling the globe and writing about her adventures and journeys. Last year, she tried 10 different experiences, each for 30 days, which led her to some wonderful insights, shared with us in her web article. I couldn’t think of a better person to give advice on how to live your bucket list. The February issue is all about you, where you can get the best service in a bar, where you can be pampered for less, where you can find the most unusual and relaxing massage, how a personal assistant service can help you maintain your sanity, how you can become heart healthy and how to choose the right fitness routine or workout for you! Because we want to keep you looking gorgeous without breaking the bank, fashion editor Erika Cerda pulled together an up-to-date Valentine’s Day look guaranteed to set hearts fluttering. The experts weigh in on how to make it all about you, with advice from a life coach and a professional matchmaker. Meredith Walker and Amy Poehler remind you of your girlhood dreams in their new television series, Smart Girls at the Party, soon to be filmed in Austin. So here’s a valentine to you from Austin Woman. Turn off the iPhone, pour some Champagne and grab some chocolate, run a hot bath, lock out the world for a few minutes, read the magazine and make a commitment to taking care of you. Be bodacious enough to invent yourself each and every day. We look forward to hearing from you!

deborah hamilton-lynne Executive Editor

Photo by Korey Howell.

“Each of us

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for a better austin in 2012

Keeping with our mission, AW MEDIA is excited to team up with Roy Spence, co-founder of GSD&M and co-founder and CEO of the Purpose Institute, to introduce the Giving Man Pledge.

The Giving Man Pledge challenges Austin men (and women) to pick something of personal passion and purpose to dedicate time, talent or treasure, making austin a better place to live. Whether itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s giving your time to a local soup kitchen or purchasing a coffee for the person behind you in a drive thru line we can all make a difference. Share your pledge today by posting it at atxman.com/givingmanpledge and help make Austin better for it.

atxman.com/givingmanpledge

Contributors Terri Schexnayder discovered her voice early while growing up with nine siblings through her diaries, school essays and scripts for neighborhood plays. After graduating from St. Edward’s University, summa cum laude, with a degree in English literature, and leaving a 25-year career as an ad executive, Terri launched her writing and marketing business. She writes for Austin Woman, the Austin Business Journal, the Texas Hospital Association and other publications. She teaches creative writing through Badgerdog Literary Publishing and relishes her students’ excitement when they become first-time published authors. Nestled within the boundaries of the love capital of the United States—Loveland, Colo.—resides accomplished columnist, author and entrepreneur Eric Leech. Tragically born in to this world without a GI Joe (with a kung fu grip) or silver spoon, Eric compensated with four degrees in English, psychology, social sciences and theater. As an educated and published sex-and-relationship journalist, Eric has worked with a variety of magazines, blogs and advice columns, including the Las Vegas Strip, Urban Male Magazine, UNO, BOBBi, askmen.com and the Discovery Channel series Green Sex. erika cerda is an Austin-based stylist and fashion editor for Austin Woman magazine. This month, she scouted Austin for accessories featuring Pantone’s color of the year, tangerine tango. This dramatic reddish-orange hue is the perfect way to update your wardrobe, and even carry it all the way into fall. Check out all of her finds on p. 38.

Unlike other photographers, Eric Doggett didn’t start shooting when he was 3 years old. In fact, he was 33 when he first picked up a camera. After a few years of shooting weddings, Eric moved in to commercial photography, where he now looks for ways to create fun, high-impact images. He also enjoys spending time with his wife, Lisa, and their two sons, Brandon and Trevor. You can see his work at doggettstudios.com.

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On the Web austinwomanmagazine.com

WINES · SPIRITS

FINER FOODS

EDITOR’S PICK: Spend Valentine’s Day with Austin favorite Bob Schneider. ACL Live celebrates its anniversary at the Moody Theater. Treat yourself with a sexy, old-Hollywood showcase benefiting the Health Alliance for Austin Musicians, with special guests Danny Malone and Kat Edmonson.

MORE FROM SHELLEY SEALE: b Takeaway thoughts from Shelley’s “30 days at a time” challenge. FOOD: b Cooking for Valentine’s Day: classes for singles, lovers and more. b Take a trip to France or Italy on Valentine’s Day with dinner in one of our favorite neighborhood restaurants, Bistrot Mirabelle and Trento! Ooh la la, ti amo! best of the BLOGS From Marc and Angel Hack Life: 30 things to stop doing to yourself. b Are you a blogger? To be considered for Best of Blogs, please submit a sample of your best work to submissions@awmediainc.com.

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books Need an internal makeover? Read our reviews for: b YOU: Stress Less: The Owner’s Manual for Regaining Balance in Your Life by Michael F. Roizen and Mehmet C. Oz b You, Inc.: The Art of Selling Yourself (Warner Business) by Harry Beckwith and Christine Clifford Beckwith PLUS: b Recipes for facial scrubs and masks using all-natural ingredients b (Un-pathetic) Valentine’s Day events for singles b Concert reviews: Natalie Cole and Gary Winston b Complete horoscopes and February calendar b Tenth anniversary update featuring AustinWoman’s second year the last word Please submit your entries to thelastword@awmediainc.com by March 1 for the April topic: “Going green.”

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on the scene /

5 Things you must do this month

As Time Goes By, a World War II-Themed Valentine’s Dinner Dance Feb. 11 at 6:30 p.m. at Camp Mabry Take a trip back to 1940 as you dance to swing music performed by Sentimental Journey and surround yourself with pieces of World War II history. Guests are encouraged (but not required) to get in to character and dress in 1940s attire or World War II Allied uniforms as they enjoy a romantic evening. Tickets are available at texasmilitaryforces.org or by calling 512.782.5659. The cost is $75 and admission is limited to 300 people. Proceeds will benefit the Texas Military Forces Museum.

Jeanne Robertson: Looking for Humor Tour Feb. 26 at 7 p.m. at the Paramount Theatre Enjoy an evening of laughs and Southern charm with this Miss America contestant turned comedic speaker. Robertson uses her personal experiences to crack up her audience while sending the message that a sense of humor is an attitude and a way of working with people. Her comedy is classy, clean and family-friendly, so feel free to bring the kids along. At 6 feet 2 inches, she’s also probably the tallest female comedian you’ll ever have the chance to see perform. Tickets are available at austintheatre.org or by calling 512.474.1221. All tickets are $39.50.

Austin Modern Home Tour Feb. 4 from 11 a.m. to 6 p.m. at various locations

Andrea Bocelli Valentine’s Concert Feb. 10 at 8 p.m. at the Frank Erwin Center The world-renowned and highly acclaimed Italian tenor will make his first-ever appearance in Austin this Valentine’s Day weekend. This concert is sure to be a romantic evening for you and your significant other as you relax and enjoy the dulcet tones of Bocelli’s brilliant arias. He will be performing some of his greatest hits, including classical and pop numbers, along with some of the greatest love songs of all time. Tickets are on sale at texasboxoffice.com and range from $75 to $350.

20 Austin Woman f e b r u a r y 2 0 1 2

Being the creative city that it is, Austin is home to some very interesting architecture. This tour celebrates some of the most talented modern architects and their work in the Austin area. Visit each of the homes at your leisure, and if you’re looking to buy, some of them are even currently on the market. Join the modern movement and admire some of Austin’s finest architecture and its creators. For a list of homes featured on the tour, or to purchase tickets, visit austinmodernhomestour.com. Tickets are $20 and will be available until 8 p.m. on Feb. 3 and the day of the event at select homes.

Sesame Street Live: Elmo Makes Music Feb. 17â&#x20AC;&#x201C;Feb. 19 at the Frank Erwin Center Round up the little ones and join everyoneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s favorite little red monster as he embarks on a musical adventure with his friends. When Jenny, a new music teacher comes to Sesame Street, the gang must work together to help her find her missing musical instruments. Along the way they discover how everyday objects can be used to make music. Tickets are available at texasboxoffice.com and range from $13 to $60.

Danielle Reich Trio on New Year’s Eve at the Stephen F. Austin Bar and Terrace.

New Year’s Eve at the Stephen F. Austin Bar and Terrace.

ON THE SCENE /

Lisa Wickline of Charlie Bravo Charters. Photo by Stu Smith.

AROUND TOWN

Katie Lesnick, Mardy Chen, Jeff Chen at Tiara Tuesday. Photo by Melissa Vinsik. Allison and Ron Knight with Nina Godiwalla at Tiara Tuesday. Photo by Melissa Vinsik.

Rene Banglesdorf, Founder of Charlie Bravo Aviation and Charlie Bravo Charters. Photo by Stu Smith.

Terri McCormick, Hillary Broussard at Tiara Tuesday. Photo by Melissa Vinsik.

Kristen Reynolds, Sandra Rivera at Tiara Tuesday. Photo by Melissa Vinsik. Tiara Tuesday, Jan. 10, 2012. Photo by Melissa Vinsik.

22 Austin Woman f e b r u a r y 2 0 1 2

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Bobby Caldwell and Robin Campbell at One World Theatre.

ON THE SCENE /

Bob Schneider at Antone’s.

AROUND TOWN

Sarah Jarosz at Gruene Hall. Ruthie Foster at Blue Rock Studios.

Ian McLagan (middle) and friends at Antone’s. Ruby Jane and Asleep at the Wheel at Antone’s.

24 Austin Woman f e b r u a r y 2 0 1 2

on the scene /

spotlight event

cirque du soleil Meet Zoé, a young wallflower going through the motions of life whose parents don’t seem to recognize her boredom. Cirque du Soleil’s latest production, Quidam, lets us escape in to Zoé’s imaginary world, which is anything but boring. Beginning as a humble group of street performers in Quebec, Cirque du Soleil now tours the world performing circus arts with a modern flair. Quidam’s captivating story, elegant dance and daring acrobatics are sure to enchant any audience. Feb. 29 through March 4. Visit cirquedusoleil.com to purchase tickets or call 800.745.3000.

26 Austin Woman f e b r u a r y 2 0 1 2

B For more events, see the complete February calendar at austinwomanmagazine.com.

on the scene /

philanthropy

February Philanthropy Citizen Generation’s CharityBash Winter Wonderland Masquerade Ball will raise money for the Capital Area Food Bank. By Jane Field Get out your fancy dresses, go get masks that remind you of a crisp and wintery Venetian carnival, and, before it’s too late, get tickets to Citizen Generation’s Feb. 18 CharityBash, a Winter Wonderland Masquerade Ball raising money for the Capital Area Food Bank. If those basic details don’t immediately revitalize your schedule for the year’s most dreary month, there may be no help for you. But consider a few more things before turning the page on one of Austin’s most entertaining up-andcoming nonprofits. You may have first heard of Alex Winkleman, the founder of Citizen Generation, in the August issue of this magazine. She was listed as one of the Top Ten Young Women to Watch in Austin—“10 entrepreneurs under 30 with the grit to create their dream careers,” and lauded for already raising more than a quarter of a million dollars for nonprofits. The last CharityBash—a live auction of date packages designed by Austin’s 20 most eligible bachelors and bachelorettes—raised $85,335, much of which was donated to CASA of Travis County and Lifeworks. Such success is the product of Citizen Generation’s simple concept to make philanthropy fun and affordable for young people so they become lifelong donors not just to Citizen Generation, but also to a variety of organizations as their disposable incomes increase with age. The monthly CharityBashes are examples of this. Compared with many fundraising event prices, CharityBash tickets are affordable (the Winter Wonderland tickets

are $80 per person, $150 for a couple) and the result is ultimately very posh: black-tie events, open bars, entertainment and food. Winkleman describes the CharityBash Masquerade Ball as “the perfect marriage between having fun and making a difference. We are working hard to give our audience exactly what they are looking for in a fun night out while emphasizing this year’s beneficiary, the Capital Area Food Bank of Texas. This event is the perfect chance to wear that white tux jacket or winter-inspired gown and glamorous mask, all for a good cause.” That cause, the nonprofit Capital Area Food Bank, is the largest hunger-relief organization in Central Texas. Its mission is “to nourish hungry people and lead the community in ending hunger.” In 2011, it provided 24 million pounds of food, or 18.5 million meals, to hungry

people living in the 21 counties the group serves. The food bank serves 48,000 clients per week, 20,000 of whom are children. It is impossible to deny the crucial service CAFB provides to this region of Texas. As proof, the CAFB website shares podcasts of “hunger stories,” told by food bank clients, donors and volunteers. Children and adults alike speak eloquently of their experiences. “I’ve been coming here for four years. It’s good. When I come here, I can eat. At home, there’s not much food—none,” says 9-year-old Kaylee. (Hear Kaylee’s whole story at austinfoodbank.org/stories.) Tickets for the CharityBash Winter Wonderland Masquerade Ball are available for $80 through citizengeneration.com. They will be $100 at the door. The Masquerade will be held Feb. 18 at The Mansion (2312 San Gabriel St.) from 8 p.m. to midnight.

Austin Woman Sponsored Events The Women in Leadership Symposium, “Women Leaders as Architects of Change,” held Feb. 7 from 7:30 a.m. to noon at J. Neils Thompson Commons Building on the University of Texas campus, and featuring Melinda Garvey, co-founder and publisher of AW Media.

28 Austin Woman f e b r u a r y 2 0 1 2

The Capital Area Dental Foundation Mardi Gras Gala and Casino Night, Feb. 18 beginning at 6 p.m. at the Four Seasons Hotel Austin. Tickets are $150.

The American Heart Association’s Go Red for Women Summit, Feb. 23 from 8:30 a.m. to 1:30 p.m. at the Hilton Austin.

BUYING A NEW GAS WATER HEATER? MoNEY’S WAITING foR YoU. No doubt about it, efficient natural gas appliances help you save money and energy. When you purchase a tankless or super high-efficiency natural gas water heater, you could receive a $300 rebate* from the Texas Gas Service Conservation Program. Plus, you could receive an additional $250 rebate* if you switch from an electric resistance water heater to a natural gas water heater. For details and more money-saving rebates for your home or business, visit www.TexasGasService.com, email Conservation@TexasGasService.com or call us at (512) 370-8243.

* Qualified customers within the Austin, Sunset Valley, Rollingwood, West Lake Hills, Kyle and Cedar Park city limits can receive this incentive for both new installations and replacements in either new or existing homes.

Save the Date

Join Girl Scouts of Central Texas in honoring extraordinary Austin-area community leaders.

Tickets: Texas Box Office 512-477-6060 or 800-982-2386 www.TexasBoxOffice.com

Thursday, April 5, 2012 AT&T Conference Center, Austin, TX

For tickets and more information, visit www.gsctx.org.

This year we celebrate 100 years of Girl Scouting and proudly declare 2012 as the Year of the Girl! sesamestreetlive.com • Follow us on

and

on the scene /

horoscopes

Happy Birthday, Aquarius Jan. 21 - Feb. 19 One of the most famous of you, Farrah Fawcett, died in 2009. After the hospital leaked her medical records, Fawcett took control of her situation in a highly original, very Aquarian way and video taped the last few weeks of her illness. From the shaved head to the bloated face, this woman faced the cameras and her death with humor and bravado in an electronic twist. That’s the thing about you Aquarians; you’re always a couple of steps ahead of everyone else and just a little bit crazy. Your symbol is the water bearer and you’re supposed to bring new ideas to the world. But, you can also be impatient and temperamental with people who don’t share your vision. You don’t respond to the world by being physical, practical or emotional, but intellectual. You work hard for your ideas (and ideals) and stubbornly refuse to give them up. That’s what we mean by “fixed.” You’re in the world but detached from it, and that drives the people

around you crazy. Groups of people are important to you but single individuals, not so much. So try to embrace your inner crazy and use it for good, not evil. THIS MONTH: Happy birthday! Finally, a clear head and a pristine vision. It’s as if the fog that was living in your brain, keeping you from knowing exactly what to do has dissipated, leaving your clever mind fog-free. After a seven-year cycle ends on the 5th, you can trust your dreams and visions, especially concerning any moneymaking ventures. You aren’t confused anymore. From now on, you’ll know exactly what your financial future brings. This may even trigger a new period of home remodeling, real-estate investments and a general expansion to your living spaces. So start thinking bigger. —Deborah Mastelotto, deborah@pinkaustin.com For all horoscopes, visit austinwomanmagazine.com.

SYMBOL: Water bearer ZODIAC WHEEL ORDER: 11th house HOUSE RULES: Friendship, clubs, group activities, hopes and dreams, your fan base ELEMENT: Air QUALITY: Fixed (stubborn) PLANETARY RULER: Saturn BIRTHSTONE: Amethyst, jasper and garnet KEY CHARACTERISTICS: Independent, visionary STRENGTHS: Innovative, humanitarian, philanthropic CHALLENGES: Impractical, erratic, dwells on perceived slights COLORS: Turquoise, aqua and silver

Aquarius Austinites

Feb. 1

Feb. 2

Feb. 5

Feb. 7

Feb. 9

ALEX WinkLEman Philanthropist and Social Entrepreneur

BRENDA LADD Photographer

Elizabeth christian Public Relations Guru

pamela harti Jazz Chanteuse

courtney Spence Founder, Students of the World

A New Year, A New Look for Your Home

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girl walks into a bar

III Forks Providing service with a smile. By Nicole Carbon Photo by Rudy Arocha Sometimes you want to go somewhere for a good, quality drink in an equally appealing setting where you are made to feel comfortable and well taken care of. Welcome to III Forks, where the bartenders, servers and maître d’ may not already know your name, but sure will make an effort to get to know it and remember you time after time, no matter how long it is between visits.

The Atmosphere

The Scene

The Drinks

Happy Hour

Sophistication minus the stuffiness. Warm, mahogany woods in a softly illuminated setting (giving us an added advantage of an alluring glow without revealing any high-def flaws). The bar is situated to the right of the entryway and features an inviting horseshoeshaped bar with adjacent booths and club chair seating. An unobtrusive television is suspended (and neatly tucked) in the corner, making it visible to bar patrons without taking away from the sexy setting. To the left is a grand piano that offers live music nightly.

Single executives dressed to the nines make themselves comfortable next to Austin casual. Single ladies, do yourself a favor: Saddle up to the bar and get yourself acquainted with any one of the strapping gentlemen found there on a nightly basis. (I sure did!) Don’t be intimidated. Although the bar has a masculine feel, this isn’t a place reserved for men only. Women are certainly welcome, and a group of them gathered across the bar on the night I visited.

Think classics here. While the menu offers a few specialty cocktails, the standouts are a fine selection of liquors and wines hand-selected by Sommelier Marc Sauri. The extensive liquor selections are listed by categories, including single malt and blended scotch, whiskey, vodka, rum, gin, cordials, brandy, cognac, tequila, port and dessert wines.

Happy hour is offered nightly from 5 to 7 p.m. Selections include $5 select highballs, cocktails and sommelier’s wine picks, including both white and red varietals. Nibble on decadent bites such as the Kobe beef sliders, addictive blue chips (house-made potato chips generously garnished with blue cheese), tenderloin tip martini, prime burger and ahi tuna.

42 Austin Woman f e b r u a r y 2 0 1 2

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to your health /

fitness

Finding Your Fitness Match Five keys to lasting success. By Natalie Yerkovich and Chrissie Jarrell There are many great ways to get and stay fit in Austin. From boot camps to yoga studios to personal trainers, there really is something out there for everyone. The trick is finding the right match for you. It can be frustrating jumping from one activity to another, feeling like you’re not making any progress. On your quest for fitness, it definitely pays to do a little homework ahead of time to help you narrow down what is important to you and ultimately find fitness solutions to match. Here are five of the most important criteria in finding your fitness match:

TYPE OF ACTIVITY Finding the right sport or activity is one of the most important things to figure out first. What do you like to do? Do you want to do something that you are familiar with or do you want to try something new? There truly is something for everyone. If you aren’t sure what activity is the best fit for you, check out programs that offer free trials or free workouts so you can test the waters before making a commitment. Talk with friends to see what sort of activities they do. You might also want to consider sitting in on a workout class to get a better sense of what it’s all about before taking the plunge. CONVENIENCE To ensure greater success with your fitness routine, convenience is key! When it comes to finding something that is convenient, take a look at these three factors: Location. Is the workout spot close to your work or home? Consider your daily routes and which fitness businesses are on the way or very nearby. Try not to make things harder than they need to be; if you drive by your fitness location every day, you’ll be sure to stop more often. Days of the week classes are offered. If you can only workout on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, be sure to find groups or trainers who offer workouts on those days. You can make your fitness schedule work for you, not the other way around. Times the classes are offered. If you are not a morning person, stay away from groups and classes that only meet before the sun comes up. You will have the most success with classes that meet at times that are convenient for you and your lifestyle. On the flip side, if you feel like you need a jump-start in the morning to get your energy levels up, or you would rather get your workout out of the way early so you can relax in the evening, consider an early morning workout time. 44 Austin Woman f e b r u a r y 2 0 1 2

ENVIRONMENT Do you enjoy the challenge of dealing with the outdoor elements during your workout? Does wiping dirt off your knees and feeling the hot sun or cold rain during your workout make you feel energized, or does it give you more excuses not to workout? A key element to finding your fitness match is determining if you like to workout outdoors or if you prefer the consistency provided by an indoor setting. Both work equally well when it comes to fitness, and they can change with the seasons. Find the one that works for you. One more thing to consider is class size. Do you thrive in one-on-one settings with a personal trainer, or do you like the camaraderie, support and competition that can come from a larger group? TRAINER PERSONALITY Your coach or trainer can be the most influential factor to you enjoying and being successful with your fitness routine. It is so important to find a trainer you mesh with. There are some instructors whose style is like that of a drill sergeant, pushing you and helping you test your limits. Others can be more nurturing, motivating you with encouragement. Tune in to what style works best for you and seek out trainers who will help you best reach your goals. COST The fact is, if you can’t afford it, a fitness group or routine is probably not going to last very long. Before you go out shopping for your fitness match, figure out what you are comfortable spending each month.

Again, there is something for everyone. And there are often different payment plans and levels of involvement like monthly unlimited, pay per class, 10-class packs and more. There are also many free workout classes offered throughout town. Cost should definitely not be an excuse as to why you can’t lead a healthy, fit lifestyle, but be realistic as to what you can sustain. The ultimate goal is to feel energized, healthy and uplifted by your fitness routine. Remember that it’s your journey and your body. What works for your friends or family doesn’t always work for you. Have fun with it, and make your fitness routine uniquely yours. Get started on the path to finding your fitness match on myfitlist.com. We help you explore the hundreds of options in Austin and narrow them down based on the five key criteria that determine how well that fitness group will work for you. Take the guesswork out of reaching your fitness goals and enjoy the journey!

Chrissie Jarrell and Natalie Yerkovich, the gals who created myfitlist.com, do the grunt work for you. Well, the organizational grunt work, anyway. They work hard to connect people with the fitness groups, information and resources they need so they can grunt, sweat and tone to achieve their personal goals.

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to your health /

Austin’s Go Red for Women Women are making it their mission to fight heart disease in Central Texas. By Jill Case Go Red™ for Women is an initiative started in 2004 by the American Heart Association to make women aware of the fact that heart disease is the No. 1 killer of women. Go Red was designed not only to raise awareness about women and heart disease, but also to help them take action to reduce their personal risk and to improve their cardiovascular health. The Austin chapter of the American Heart Association has a very active Go Red for Women program, and there are many ways that you can become involved and help yourself and others to prevent and fight heart disease. ATTEND THE GO RED FOR WOMEN SUMMIT On Feb. 23, the American Heart Association and City Goes Red sponsor St. David’s HealthCare are hosting the Go Red for Women Summit from 8:30 a.m. to 1:30 p.m. at the Hilton Austin at 500 E. Fourth St. Registration begins at 8 a.m. This signature event includes educational breakout sessions on topics like nutrition and heart-disease warning signs, risk factors and “Healthy Living for Healthy Leaders.” There will also be many vendors with displays set up in a boutique-style setting. There will be an opportunity for all attendees to get information about their blood pressure and cholesterol readings, allowing them to establish and monitor a baseline reading. Finally, the Texas Beef Council and the Hilton Austin are working together to plan a heart-healthy lunch for the event. Kerry Hall, regional president of Texas Capital Bank and the chair of the 2012 Go Red for Women campaign in Austin, says this summit is “an opportunity for women to focus on themselves for a change.” Hall has been involved with the American Heart Association for about five years, starting with her involvement in helping to identify a Heart Walk chairperson and serving on the Austin board of the American Heart Association. Through this work, she learned more about heart disease. “One of the most shocking things I learned is that women have a lower survival rate than men when it comes to suffering a heart attack,” Hall says. “Therefore, it’s even more im-

46 Austin Woman f e b r u a r y 2 0 1 2

wellness portant for women to take good care of their hearts.” Hall says the primary benefit of attending the Go Red Summit is education. “We want to give Central Texas women a chance to learn about ways to reduce their risk for heart disease and stroke for themselves, first and foremost, and also for the families they hold dear,” she says. JOIN THE CIRCLE OF RED The Circle of Red is “a grassroots sisterhood determined to save lives.” Each circle is comprised of local women who make a significant commitment, both financially and personally, to educate other women about heart disease. The women who become involved in the circle usually have a very personal story that motivates them to participate. Shana Logue, this year’s Circle of Red chair, is a perfect example. In 2007, Logue’s daughter, Scarlett, was born with congenital heart defects that would normally require surgery, but the holes in her heart healed without surgery. Since her condition was clearly genetic, doctors advised her parents, Shana and Corby, to get checkups, and Corby did turn out to have the same defect as Scarlett. Open-heart surgery saved Corby’s life, and the Logues are grateful for American Heart Association-funded research, which led to pharmaceutical and surgical advances that helped save both father and daughter. Logue says for herself and most of the women involved, being a part of the Circle of Red “allows them to feel that they are giving back to the organization that does so much to fund research and support.” She also stresses that the money raised by the circle helps fund outreach efforts, like CPR classes, as well.

“One of the women in our Circle of Red’s life was saved because her husband was educated in CPR,” she says. Each woman has her own story, and each woman commits to a financial donation and to invite their friends and family to support the American Heart Association. To find out more about the Austin Circle of Red, contact the Austin office of the American Heart Association at 512.338.2400.

The Heart Facts No. 1

Heart disease is the No. 1 killer of women age 20 and older, killing about one woman per minute.

90%

Ninety percent of women have one or more risk factors for developing heart disease.

in 3 Heart Disease 1 One in three American More women die of heart disease than the next four causes of death combined, including all forms of cancer.

women die of heart disease, compared with one in 30 women who die of breast cancer.

80%

Eighty percent of cardiac events in women may be prevented if they make the right choices for their hearts, involving diet, exercise and abstinence from smoking. -FACTS PROVIDED BY AUSTIN GOES RED AND THE AMERICAN HEART ASSOCIATION.

VOLUNTEER Pam Atkins, a dedicated community volunteer and a member of the Texas Council on Cardiovascular Disease and Stroke since 2009, has testified for the American Heart Association before the House Appropriations Committee about tobacco, obesity and more. She has also lobbied for smoke-free legislation with state lawmakers. Atkins herself has heart disease, as do several of her family members, and this inspires her passion for the cause. When asked about the benefits of volunteering, she says, “One of the greatest benefits of volunteering for Go Red and the American Heart Association is it is so very personal. Most of us have already been, or will be, affected by a mother, sister, friend or other loved one with heart disease. It is vital to keep educating and informing women about how they can fight this No. 1 killer.” There are many volunteer opportunities available, such as advocacy, including getting involved with Atkins’ You’re the Cure advocate program; fundraisers and community activities (the Heart Ball and the Heart Walk); and education programs (the Power to End Stroke program, which focuses on African Americans, a group at high risk for stroke).

THE BETTERU PROGRAM

Change and improve your life in just 12 weeks with the free online fitness and nutrition program from the American Heart Association. Each week, you will get step-by-step guidance to help you focus on one area important to your heart health. There are daily tips from experts, heart-healthy recipes and an online journal to help you keep track of your goals. For even more motivation, you can download the BetterMe Coaching Tool. This allows you to keep track of progress online, as well as interact with others in the program by writing on the interactive wall and viewing videos. Visit goredforwomen. org and click on the BetterU Program tab to get started.

ATTEND A GO RED FOR WOMEN EVENT ON FEB. 3 Wear Red Day Celebration and Red Dress Dash. This event, which includes free health screenings, a red dress display, makeovers from Macy’s and a running of the “Red Dress Dash,” a relay race, will take place at Barton Creek Square. Austin Beauty Week Launch Party. Beginning at 6:30 p.m. at the Speakeasy at 412 Congress Ave., this kickoff party includes red dresses, drinks, treats and a silent auction. Your life or that of someone you love will certainly be touched by heart disease, so become informed, become involved and help yourself and all the women in your life with Go Red for Women in Austin. For more information about Austin’s Go Red for Women program, visit heart.org or facebook.com/ahaaustin or call 512.338.2400.

pamper yourself /

Ladies who Lunch with a Side of Spa Taking time out for you at the Lakeway Resort and San Saba Spa. By Nicole Carbon My friend and I were long overdue for some muchneeded girl time and R&R after a busy holiday season and an even busier start to the new year. We were burning the candle at both ends and recognized that when you don’t make time to take care of

48 Austin Woman f e b r u a r y 2 0 1 2

getaway

yourself, you miss out on the opportunity to truly give back to others. We learned that the Lakeway Resort and Spa had garnered a top chef, Chef Jeff Axline, whose résumé boasts executive chef positions at Wine Spectator Award of Excellence recipient, the Glass Wall, and most recently, the prestigious Houstonian Hotel, sister location to the Lakeway Resort. Without missing a beat, we were making lunch reservations at the restaurant, Josey’s, and booking our spa treatments at the San Saba Spa. We did so without an ounce of guilt because we were taking care of ourselves so that we could do a better job at taking care of those important people in our lives. After a quick and scenic drive through the Hill Country, we immediately morphed in to relaxation mode. We made ourselves comfortable in Chef Axline’s dining room, which boasts stunning lake views. We started our feast with one of the chef’s signature dishes, the Dr Pepper fried Texas quail. Two

generous-sized pieces of quail arrived in a deep dish, accompanied by fingerling potato salad garnished with blue cheese and a sauce of honey butter. (Later, I learned of the hydrating properties of honey when my massage therapist suggested a slathering on the skin and then a few minutes in the steam room. I tested a variation of this theory at home on the backs of my parched hands and they evolved in to the soft, young skin of a child.) Axline takes a comfort-food approach to his cuisine and adds an innovative twist to Texan and Southern classics. Axline best sums up what he is doing in the kitchen when he tells me, “I like what chefs like to eat: comfort food, like the food our moms and grandmothers used to make.” He uses local and sustainable products as much as possible. This was apparent in our next course, a classic iceberg wedge, which the kitchen offers in a half-sized portion.

Blue Cheese Potato Salad 2 quarts fingerling potatoes, sliced 1/2 cup red onion, diced 1/2 cup celery, diced 1 Tablespoon cider vinegar 1 bunch parsley, chopped, stems removed 2 Tablespoons fresh dill, chopped 1 1/2 cup mayonnaise 1/2 cup crumbled blue cheese 3/4 cup English cucumber, diced Salt and pepper to taste b Steam fingerling potatoes until tender. Drain and transfer to a bowl. Add mayonnaise while still hot, and then refrigerate. When fully cooled, add the remaining ingredients except cucumber. Add cucumber right before serving.

Brazos Valley blue cheese, maplerubbed bacon, cherry tomatoes and chopped, farm-fresh egg are combined and drizzled with house-made ranch dressing that makes this classic extra delicious. While the grilled salmon is not local, Axline makes sure it is farmed responsibly and he gets his flown in from Scotland. He accompanies it with a local farmers market ratatouille dressed with Yukon gold potato vinaigrette. My lady friend chose the delicate Texas farm-raised striped bass served on a bed of sautéed spinach, cucumber and micro herb salad finished with caper relish and Texas olive oil.

Luckily, our lunch came with a side order of spa, so we were off to the spa to get scrubbed, polished and even more relaxed. We selected our treatments from the seasonal offerings that included the chocolate indulgence scrub and wrap duo. The exfoliating chocolate scrub is vigorously applied to the skin to rejuvenate and restore its flexibility. Following the scrub, an indulging chocolate body wrap containing shea butter, cocoa butter, honey, glycerin and cocoabean extracts is used to moisturize and soften the skin. An alternate seasonal treatment can be shared with your sweetie: the side-by-side strawberry signature massage. This treatment begins with two 50-minute strawberry signature massages side by side in the candlelit Lakesuite. This package also includes two complimentary glasses of Champagne and chocolate-covered strawberries. Even though I was alone, the atmosphere of the Lakesuite was so sensual and inviting, I was compelled to book another treatment with my significant other just two days later. My friend stuck to the classics and chose a signature facial and 25-minute tension-relieving back massage. She emerged happy, relaxed and with glowing skin, proclaiming, “It was the best facial I have ever had.”

Lakeway Resort also offers an inviting swimming pool with separate adult and children’s areas. The adult area features a swim-up bar, a hot tub and private cabanas. A live-music series is also offered in the summer months. Will I be back? Oh yes. I must try a sampling of the Resort’s Farm to Table Wednesdays, featuring a menu inspired by Austin’s local farmers, ranchers and artisan food producers. And it’s quite a bargain at just $25 for three courses. Also, stay tuned for my experience with that swimup pool bar in an upcoming edition of Girl Walks Into a Bar.

Other not-to-be missed menu items include the fried green tomato BLT, 6 hardboiled eggs which is served with 1 teaspoon paprika Axline’s mother’s 1 teaspoon granulated deviled egg recipe, garlic and the short rib 1/4 cup onion, minced and blue cheese melt. St. Arnold’s pinch of cayenne root-beer-braised 1 1/2 cups mayo short ribs with marinated tomatoes 1 Tablespoon Dijon mustard are sprinkled with Salt and pepper to taste decadent Maytag b Chop boiled eggs. Mix all blue cheese and ingredients and let stand sandwiched in refrigerator until ready between griddled to use. sourdough bread. One word can describe this: yum! A dessert menu staple is the bread pudding served with a mini carafe of housemade Tahitian vanilla bean sauce. Chef Axline changes up the flavors and February’s is a luscious chocolate chip mint version.

Mom’s Deviled Egg Mayo

austinwomanmagazine.com 49

pamper yourself /

best kept secret

Look Good for Less At the Aveda Institute, professional treatment can be had at a fraction of salon prices. By Claire Cella Imagine a place where you can enter a salon and spa, and an hour or so later, walk back out with shiny, healthy hair infused with rosemary extracts, and pristine nails and lavender-nourished hands—all for less than $30. No, this isn’t an Aveeno commercial. You don’t have to just envision this utopian situation; you can have it. Clients of the Aveda Institute Austin, located at 3300 N. Interstate 35, can enjoy a full menu of Aveda salon and spa services offered at a typical Aveda salon for an almost unbelievably lower price. The institute itself is a training center and school for future cosmetology and esthiology professionals. But in order for students to reach that level of mastery, they require experience and time on the floor with real and willing clients (also known as you). You don’t need to prayerfully surrender to a leap of faith under a pair of shaking scissors or scalding wax, however, as the students are supervised and guided throughout the session by seasoned and licensed Aveda veterans. This additional attention and reassurance may make the duration of the service longer, says Beth Ray, director of the Aveda Institute Austin, but clients often save at least half the cost of services, if not more, compared with other salons. “You’re basically dedicating your time to the education process,” Ray says, “and letting yourself be a learning experience in return for the discounted service.” The institute offers a range of hair treatments, including traditional styling, haircuts, texturizing, extensive coloring options and even indulgent botanical therapy treatments. Sessions begin with a consultation to determine your desired outcome, and end with stress-relieving neck, shoulder and hand rituals taught only at Aveda schools—an aspect that sets Aveda apart, Ray says. “We have added experiences, moments of wellness and rituals put in to our services that are no additional charge,” she explains.

50 Austin Woman f e b r u a r y 2 0 1 2

Hair students are separated in to two levels: Level one students have met elemental standards, proving their readiness for the salon floor, while level two students have passed additional requirements and are now perfecting their techniques. You are able to select your preference upon booking, which alters the price: The difference between level one and level two is usually $6 to $20, depending on the service. In addition to salon services, Aveda Institute students are also trained in nail, skin and body care. The institute offers manicures, pedicures, facials, waxes, body polishes, wraps and peels, massages and makeup applications, available to suit every skin type or specific focus area. Prices for these services are based on appointment times, with peak times (Friday and Saturday) being more expensive by $2 to $10 than off-peak times (Monday through Thursday), allowing clients to choose convenience over value or vice-versa. (Although, the prices are still so reasonable, it’s always a value.)

Compared with the cost of other salons and spas in Austin, the Aveda Institute offers savings of nearly 50 percent on almost every service. For instance, a colorbalancing treatment that would cost $75 at Jackson Ruiz Salon on Lamar Boulevard, or $60 or more at various Avant Garde Studio locations, is a mere $30 to $40 at the Aveda Institute. A 30-minute manicure at the institute is $12 to $15, compared to $25 at Maximum FX on Congress Avenue. Women who have visited the Aveda Institute Austin rave about the services received, considering them equal to, if not better than, full-price salons, Ray says. Other benefits include the availability of evening appointments, a clean environment filled with aromas of Aveda products’ renowned organic plant essences and two stylists supervising the service’s progress. All in all, a bit of patience but no reverie is required for this surreal scenario. The Aveda Institute and its well-equipped and creative students will skillfully take care of the imagining for you. Visit avedainstitutesbb.com for a full list of services provided, hours and booking details.

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pamper yourself /

guilty pleasure

Ashiatsu Massage

Ashiatsu is a Japanese word meaning “foot pressure.” Ashiatsu has its roots in the Far East, utilizing techniques that have been around for thousands of years. Named the “most amazing use of the human foot” in the Austin Chronicle’s Best of Austin 2010, this incredible guilty pleasure is something that you must treat yourself to. This is indeed a transformational experience, a massage like you have never had and will never forget. Utilizing deep pressure and massage strokes delivered by well-trained feet, the practitioners of Austin Ashiatsu will make your stress and muscular pain a faint memory in just one session. One session is great but one session per week would be even better and the ultimate taking-care-of-you guilty pleasure. Austin Ashiatsu, 1601 E. Fifth Street, Suite 105. 512.966.1963. austinashiatsu.com.

52 Austin Woman f e b r u a r y 2 0 1 2

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pamper yourself /

No Need to Clone Yourself Use a concierge service or personal assistant to save time, money and your sanity. By Joelle Pearson Beyoncé called it: Girls run the world. We’re graduating at higher rates and closing the pay gap, we’re postponing marriage and children in search of meaningful careers. But now that girls are busy running the world, who is running the errands? Whatever work you do, you probably notice your “me time” dwindling. Who wants to spend the few free hours left in a day returning a broken rake or gathering bids to re-do a bathroom? For a nominal fee, a professional will handle it for you—professionals like Debra Bailey, founder and owner of Bailey Solutions, a concierge service in Austin primarily staffed by women. Most of her clients are women as well—women who are realizing the value of extra help. “Now, women are making all the money and the decisions,” Bailey says. “And unlike a lot of men, women aren’t afraid to ask for help.” Contracting help through a business isn’t the only option. Independents like Corey Harris can be hired for odd jobs too. Harris thrives on assisting others, from cleaning houses to cleaning up personal chaos. “I absolutely love home-makeover shows,” Harris says, adding that her job helps her create that effect for her clients. As many concierge patrons are discovering, hiring outside help is more than just a few more hours saved; in some cases, it’s the impetus they need to get their lives moving in the right direction. “After Bailey Solutions was done, I was not only organized, I was inspired,” says one client, a small-business owner. “Debra did not just organize me, she empowered me to stay that way.” Harris finds that often, people just need an emotional push to do what needs to be done. “It’s hard because people often don’t want to let things go,” she says. “I’m a perfect example: My closet is a mess!” What Can a Concierge Service do For You? Or better, what don’t they do? While “concierge” once evoked a member of a hotel lobby staff, today it’s a network of professionals dedicated to helping others streamline their lives, whether it be through helping out with chores or event planning. Some, like Bailey, are former hotel managers. Others, like Harris, are former home-service entrepreneurs. To illustrate her scope, Bailey breaks her

54 Austin Woman f e b r u a r y 2 0 1 2

personal assistant

services in to a few categories: b Basic Errands Grocery shopping, picking up groceries, bank services, auto repairs, purchases and deliveries fall in to this category. She also makes runs to your local farmers market. b Organization Her on-staff professional organizer will overhaul your home office, garage, closets, kitchen—you name it. They will tailor work to fit your needs every step of the way. b Project Management Overwhelmed by the thought of retiling the kitchen? How about building a pool? Bailey begins by researching bids for you, and stays with you until the final debris is swept free. b Personal Assistance Wake-up calls, party invitations or handyman supervision? Think of a concierge as a helpful friend you can always call. If you don’t see your request on the list, just ask. Those like Bailey, a former longtime hotel GM with deep Austin roots, know the fastest and most resourceful way to get a job done. Harris approaches each job on a project-by-project basis, and has yet to find a request too strange to be fulfilled. “I have one client who asks I just sit with her while she reads personal letters,” she says. “I know her background, and she just wants someone near to hold her hand and tell her things will be OK.” Harris has also been asked to take a flight as a companion to a child and to organize an overwhelmingly large tie collection. Whatever the request, Harris loves her job. How Do I Choose? Most importantly, you should trust your concierge or assistant. “You should have a good rapport and enjoy having them in your house,” Harris advises. “You really do expose yourself by hiring an assistant. I have found quite a few interesting things in people’s closets.” Many women report feeling more confident with their choice after meeting candidates in person. Consider how long they have been in business, ask for testimonials and why they chose their line of work. Above all, how well do they know Austin? The best assistants will also be flexible, discerning and well networked. Before signing up, ask for a consultation, which most concierges offer on the house. How Much Does it Cost? For basic errands, most concierges charge a flat fee, somewhere between $15 and $40 an hour depending on the provider. Mileage may also be considered (based

on trip duration), so ask about their policy before booking a service. Some, like Harris, work in three- to four-hour shifts for a flat rate. She finds this duration is about the maximum time her clients can focus on one project. For larger projects, such as event Concierge planning or organizationServices al help, concierges such as Bailey evaluate costs in Bailey Solutions 512.751.6157, person on a case-by-case baileysolutions.com, Concierge basis. services developed by a longtime hotel GM Above All, Don’t Be Corey Harris, Personal Ashamed! Assistant, 512.329.9590, “A lot of people feel countoncorey@gmail.com, A like failures for havone-on-one personal assistant ing not kept up with responsibilities,” Harris says, noting that’s why most people wait too long before trying to tackle a project. “I create a safe environment and find out what their goal is, keep them on that path and don’t let them deviate.” Once people set goals, rules and boundaries, the project becomes easy, she explains. It’s getting there that is the hard part.

Hey—I can do that!, 512.689.7259, hey-icandothat. com, Services by the everaffable Margaret Edwards Busy Bodies, 512.745.3034, busybodiesforyou.com, A fullservice independent concierge Austin Errands, 512.539.0415, austin-errands. com, General errands backed by a customer guarantee Greentrips, 512.789.0316, Eco-friendly trips made in hybrid vehicles

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executive Nina Godiwalla walked away from Wall Street to do it her way.

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57 austinwomanmagazine.com 57

ina Godiwalla, a freshman at the University of Texas in Austin, possessed the intelligence, grades and drive to succeed in the world of high finance on Wall Street. But when she entered the fast-paced New York environment in 1997, she had three strikes against her: She was from Texas, a woman and a minority. Godiwalla’s personal story about her experiences to make it as a successful analyst in a relentless and unethical workplace is presented with frankness and humor in her book Suits: A Woman on Wall Street, released in 2011 by Atlas & Co. The third of four girls growing up in a North Houston suburb, Godiwalla’s future, mapped out by her Persian-Indian parents and family members, was expected to include nothing less than an exceptional

education and a prosperous career path. Her father, a well-respected engineer, goaded his high-school daughter (who readily admits she was the slacker among her siblings) to achieve her highest potential, often withholding the praise she desperately sought when she did hit the mark. Her mother, an administrative assistant, “was at the forefront of making things happen,” Godiwalla shares, especially when it came time to seek summer internships during her college years. “She reminded those in our Persian-Indian community how brilliant I was and sent me contact information for aunties and uncles who might be hiring business interns in Houston,” Godiwalla says. “My parents came here with nothing and really struggled, but made it and are very comfortable. They stressed that we should fulfill the ‘American dream’—become a doctor, engineer or just make a hell of a lot of money!” Determined to prove herself to her family through an impressive job and title, Godiwalla pursued her first Wall Street internship with J.P. Morgan. The recruiter who visited the UT campus was impressed with the young woman, who had conducted extensive research about the banking institution. Despite the fact that J.P. Morgan only hired junior-level students for their summer programs, Godiwalla eventually achieved a first: She was the first freshman from UT to join a top-tier Wall Street firm, J.P. Morgan, in New York. Despite this landmark accomplishment, Godiwalla’s father had concerns about his daughter’s ventures away from Texas and his watchful eye. “My dad had mixed feelings. While he was glowing that his daughter got a prestigious Wall Street job, he was terrified of me leaving home for a city where ‘people got knifed on subways in broad daylight,’” she recalls. On her first day at J.P. Morgan, 19-year-old Godiwalla quickly learned that her Southern accent and “100-percent polyester hound’s-tooth T.J. Maxx suit stood out like sweatpants at a wedding,” and had to go. In the New York conference rooms, it was

Armani ties, real leather briefcases and talk of Yale and the annual Dartmouth Polar Bear Swim from the other interns. During her time on Wall Street, she reinvented herself by talking the boardroom language, dining at the most expensive restaurants and wearing the conservative attire of others in her group. Godiwalla reflects back on her original immersion as an intern and on her full-time position with Morgan Stanley—a time of major changes made in order for her to fit the Wall Street mold. “My J.P. Morgan team gave me an offer to return my sophomore summer, as well as an outstanding review, which would be sent by my mom to my grandparents in India to be passed around at family dinner parties in a protective plastic cover,” she says. “At the time, all this felt like quite an adjustment for me, but I had no idea how small an adjustment it would be until I gave up so much more to fit in at Morgan Stanley.” Godiwalla’s best-selling book, which The New York Times describes as The Devil Wears Prada of investment banking, has become required reading for some MBA leadership courses, and also served as the catalyst for Godiwalla to start her company, MindWorks. After exposing the greed and reckless work atmosphere at Morgan Stanley, where compassion and a personal life are not part of the vocabulary, she began receiving calls from top managers in the corporate, educational and federal industries throughout the nation, asking her to help their organizations establish more inclusive and selfaware work environments. Through leadership training, and teaching managers and staff how to keep a conscientious eye on diversity in the business world, Godiwalla’s workshops have turned many companies around. One of her most popular workshops focuses on stress management. “Mindful techniques are utilized in our stressmanagement course. I love meditation, as it helped me be aware of the present moment. In our stress management, we focus on actively choosing where to shift our attention. Over time, you can learn to control your thoughts and, ultimately, have control over your life,” Godiwalla explains. “It sounds easy, but it’s very hard to do.” Another of her well-attended training courses, entitled Diversity and Inclusion, generates a lot of discussion from participants who, like Godiwalla, may have experienced segregation in the workplace because of their ethnicity or gender.

Left: Lavia 18 taupe trench and Gucci platforms, available at Saks Fifth Avenue, 9722 Great Hills Trail, 512.231.3700. Dress and necklace available at Brooks Brothers, 101 W. Sixth St., 512.476.2359.

58 Austin Woman f e b r u a r y 2 0 1 2

Blouse, jacket and scarf available at Brooks Brothers, 101 W. Sixth St., brooksbrothers.com.

While at Morgan Stanley, she notes, “there was open annoyance from some male managers when they had to take mandatory diversity training. It was considered a waste of time.” The Diversity and Inclusion course shifts the conversation from the typical “us” (majority) and “them” (minorities) to broader issues, such as mindset. “For example, we tend to hire people who look and act like us. In a group, women tend to gravitate towards each other. If I am in an unfamiliar group, and I see an Indian woman, I often feel more comfortable approaching her since I know we’ll have commonalities. In the hiring process, we subconsciously hire on the same basis of what we have in common,” Godiwalla says. “Broadening the mindset to think about who we are leaving out of the room, without noticing, is one of the things we focus

on in the workshop.” One of Godiwalla’s clients, Shanaya Averill, global construction product manager with Dow Chemical, welcomed the insight she and her top managers gained from Godiwalla’s diversity training. “For me, it’s made me a significantly better manager. We operate through virtual offices and have employees from all different ethnic backgrounds. In conversations where you can’t see a person’s body language, you have to understand what they are saying. And there is a lot being said behind their words,” Averill says. “I am now more obligated to speak up for others when they won’t, or can’t, for themselves because I am in a position of power to do that for them.” Having faced repeated situations on Wall Street in which she was possibly the one who would go unnoticed, Godiwalla constantly strove to show her

male officers that she was one of them, drinking as much as the guys and accepting the crude, pornographic emails and jokes. “On Wall Street, women and minorities tended to come in at lower levels, and they had a hard time openly talking about all the things they put up with. Given the male-dominated culture, it makes them appear weak if they complain,” Godiwalla says. “Some men would say of the women who left the firm, ‘They don’t want to work very hard. They were just here for a few years until they were ready to start a family.’ But, I heard very few women say they were leaving because they wanted to start a family. Most actually said, ‘Why would I put up with this crap?’” Now married with a young son, Godiwalla spends much of her time traveling throughout the world to inspire and guide business leaders to become

austinwomanmagazine.com 59

“I could only

see my pale reflection in the window: an image I had not stopped to consider in almost a year. I couldn’t stop gawking. For, there was no recognition. My face looked swollen and bruised; there were heavy bags under my eyes…. On the outside, I carried myself like an investment banker. I rattled off random knowledge to impress others and spoke about things I didn’t really know about with boldness that would convince anyone. I wore the harshness of a New Yorker, helping tourists who needed directions without eye contact or a smile. But seeing my reflection, I felt like a flamingo at a table of giraffes. It just felt wrong.”

Excerpt from Suits: A Woman on Wall Street

60 Austin Woman f e b r u a r y 2 0 1 2

Apparel, necklace and leather riding boots (left), and jacket and blouse (right), available at Brooks Brothers, 101 W. Sixth St., 512.476.2359.

self-aware and mindful. She is an industry leader for The Wall Street Journal Executive Task Force for Women in the Economy, a leadership instructor for the University of Texas MBA program and is often featured in the major media, including USA Today, Forbes, CNN, ABC, Fox and NBC. Deidra Stephens, director of the Texas MBA+ Leadership Program, tapped in to Godiwalla’s company for one of the 2011 fall classes attended by 14 MBA students. “Nina showed them through the skills she had learned in the business world, as well as through techniques they could readily use, how to become the leader they need to be, not just for big business, but for society,” Stephens shares. “She spoke for several hours about how they could do this and, during that time, the class spent about five minutes in a meditative state. The MBA population usually doesn’t like to do this ‘touchy-feely’ kind of thing, but most of their evaluations showed the students appreciated this tool to manage their stress-filled roles.” Godiwalla is thankful to her husband for encouraging her to finally finish the book that took her on her path of current success and finding her passion. And for helping her create a new life in which she is in control of her own schedule. Her life is a far cry from the one she lived in 1998. She once joined the analyst program at

Morgan Stanley, entering what she calls, “the most prestigious group, Corporate Finance.” Not only was it known for covering all the blue-chip companies, but for its extreme hazing and intense schedules in which working all-nighters and weekends, and canceling family vacations were expected. After facing a year of public humiliation and endless testing of her knowledge and willingness to do whatever it took, she decided her grueling experience was enough. “I watched colleagues around me become alcoholics, drug addicts, others having nervous breakdowns or major health issues, including vertigo, due to the stress. And always being told, ‘You can be like me one day’ as encouragement,” Godiwalla says. “That disturbed me to no end. I did not want to be like them. In this 24/7 group, I started to look down at other people, thinking as my senior management reminded me, ‘We’re the best of the best.’ I became confused about who I was.” In Suits, Godiwalla writes of the moment she saw her face in the boardroom window, shocked at what looked back at her and what she had become. “I could only see my pale reflection in the window: an image I had not stopped to consider in almost a year. I couldn’t stop gawking. For, there was no recognition. My face looked swollen and bruised; there were heavy bags under my eyes…. On the outside, I carried myself like an investment banker. I rattled off random knowledge to impress others and spoke about things I didn’t really know about with boldness that would convince anyone. I wore the harshness of a New Yorker, helping tourists who needed directions without eye contact or a smile. But seeing my reflection, I felt like a flamingo at a table of giraffes. It just felt wrong.” She left Morgan Stanley and went to work for Johnson & Johnson, a company that was more in line with the self-aware leadership and personal accountability she now advocates for her clients. Godiwalla believes cultures can improve and sees hope for companies that have fallen in to the Wall Streetlike trap. “I believe Wall Street is a caricature of corporate America. Many individuals I have spoken with have shared that they

experienced tips for a milder form proactively of what I had managing your experienced at Morgan career Stanley,” B When starting a new job, she says. “I conduct one-on-one meetings didn’t think it with several people who aren’t on applied to so your team that you’ve met through many different the recruiting process. Some are organizations, strategic and some are individuals but it does. I you enjoyed meeting during the do think being process. Later in your job, when in New York things get busy and you really and on Wall need help or advice, you’ll already Street takes have a list of people you can go to. the intensity B Most of the corporate world is up a couple of not as objective as school, where notches.” you have grades. Oftentimes, Plans are in perception is more important than the works for reality. Managing what others Godiwalla’s next think of you is just as important book, which she as doing a good job. If you go in promises will be to an industry with few women, “fun and full of you’re more likely to have to prove all the lessons yourself. Don’t just do a good job; I’ve learned.” make sure others are aware you She has did a great job. already trained executives on B Keep a weekly log of major Hillary Clinton’s projects you’ve worked on and staff and this periodically, maybe monthly, send spring, she your manager status updates. is planning Be sure to highlight your great to work with wins, such as, “Convinced White House sales department to launch new staff. Several product.” individuals B Besides keeping a log to update have expressed your manager, do so for yourself. interest in Many organizations ask you to turning Suits write a self-evaluation and you in to a film won’t remember all the positive and her agent things at the end of the year. Many is currently women don’t like to brag, but this in discussions is the time to do so. If they see you with welldon’t value your work, they may known writers, not either. directors and producers. With Godiwalla’s strong reputation for determination and a passion to change the way companies do business for the better, she is on a mission to achieve that, one organization at a time. “Many organizational cultures run off fear and failure,” Godiwalla says. “That is currently a major issue in corporate America and is poor leadership. Actually being able to empower and inspire people is much more challenging.”

austinwomanmagazine.com 61

live your

Bucket List

ti p s f ruorme ra nto a d v e nto u r e a c h h e l p y g o a ls . your 62 â&#x20AC;&#x201A; Austin Woman f e b r u a r y 2 0 1 2

[ by shelley seale ]

in the 2007 movie the bucket list , Morgan Freeman’s character mentions a survey that asked 1,000 people if they would want to know in advance the exact day of their death. Ninety-six percent of them said no. “My freshman philosophy professor assigned this exercise and called it a bucket list,” says Carter, played by Freeman. “We were supposed to make a list of all the things we wanted to do in our lives before we kicked the bucket.” Carter and Edward (Jack Nicholson), two terminally ill men, set out to cross off all the items on their bucket lists together. They skydive, they race cars, they visit the Great Wall of China and the Taj Mahal. They also complete more serious missions, such as reuniting Edward with his estranged daughter and grandchild. The point of the film is that these men are not going to shelley's top 5 die without having really lived. things to do We all have a bucket Catch a live list. It might music act at be an actual Antone’s or written list, Austin City perhaps that Limits. you’ve kept and added Spend a summer to for years. day at Barton It might be Springs and in an Excel Zilker Park. spreadsheet, or it might Stroll South just be in Congress your head. Avenue on First But I’m sure Thursday. it’s there. How many Explore the things have funky, creative you crossed East side on off? the East Austin It’s never Studio Tour. too late to begin living Watch the sun your bucket set from Mount list, and Bonnell with a never too bottle of wine. early to start. For the most part, a lot of

South Congress photo by Sadie Barton.

austin

South Congress

us go through life just getting from one task to the next, planning dinner or the next day, repeating the same mistakes or bad habits, sort of drifting through life without being really cognizant of the life we are creating. As John Lennon famously remarked, “Life is what happens to you when you’re busy making other plans.” And so days pass, unheralded. Months and then years slowly trickle by, and we realize that we haven’t done so many of the things we wanted to do. We are getting older, and still we have not lived. I don’t want life to be that way, and I suspect you don’t either. If you have things you’ve always wanted to do but have somehow never gotten around to, this

article will help you get started. Oftentimes, the problem is that we set too many goals at once, says Gail McMeekin, a licensed psychotherapist and national executive, career and creativity coach. Of course, the very essence of a bucket list is that it usually contains a great number of things, sometimes dozens of lifefulfillment goals. But they don’t all have to be done at once. McMeekin suggests allowing for experimentation until we find the right action plan for our goals. “We have to find the passion for our goal and the right kind of structure and support, or we will be starting over again in 2013 with the same goals,” she says.

austinwomanmagazine.com 63

live your bucket list select a set number of goals per year McMeekin is right on about passion, and likely that is the communal thread among all your bucket list items. You might try choosing a certain number of goals to complete each year; how many will really depend on the types of goals they are. Smaller, simpler things may allow for 10 in a year;

larger, long-term goals such as learning to play an instrument or speak a language may be more realistic if you choose only two or three for the year. It’s also OK to let things go from your bucket list. McMeekin suggests asking yourself what incompletes in your life bother you. Is it that halffinished song or book you have been writing for

shelley's

30 days at a time bucket list

Fashion Diet: I selected only six items of clothing and wore only those things in a challenge to pare down and simplify both my closet and daily life. Giving: Every day, I gave something, whether that was money, volunteered time, donated used goods, something. Meditation: I committed to a mindful, disciplined meditation every day to see what positive effects that might have. Happiness: I embarked on a conscious study of practices that bring more internal, sustainable joy to daily living. Sustainability: I wanted to learn more about sustainable living and incorporate habits in to my life that would reduce my carbon footprint. Locavore: I committed to eating local and organic as much as possible, striving to do away with processed, shipped, artificial and packaged foods as entirely as possible, and live off farmers markets and local food. Financial Cutbacks: My rules for this challenge were to buy nothing—except nonnegotiable fixed items such as rent and insurance—that was not discounted by at least 30 percent. Photo Challenge: I shared a photograph every day, according to pre-set subjects such as “someone you miss” and “10 things about you” to cultivate awareness and gratitude. Learning: I enthusiastically set about to learn as many new things as I could, from dance and hot-glass blowing to language lessons and new cooking skills. I even took a pilot lesson and flew a plane! 30 Ways in 30 Days: My last challenge of the year was in conjunction with Take Part, which offers a simple action every day that you can take to make the world a better place.

64 Austin Woman f e b r u a r y 2 0 1 2

five years? Is it selling stuff you no longer need in your life? “Release all the other ideas or projects that you are no longer in to,” she says, “like the scrapbook project that bores you now, the scarf you are knitting but you don’t really like the colors or the career that you have never liked that you stay with out of fear. It’s decision time. Let go of things or embrace them as a priority. It will free up lots of new creative energy.”

prioritize your goals Another successful strategy is to rate your bucket list items in order of what is most urgent and most dear to your heart. “What are three top life experiences that you want to have this year?” McMeekin asks. Personally, I use a one-to-three scale, putting a “1” by each goal that is of most importance to me, “2” by the next highest rated and “3” next to the tertiary goals. This helps to prioritize which goals I want to concentrate on first. You can also prioritize by which goals are more do-able at present. Like with any goal-setting, knocking out the things that are easiest first helps you fulfill more of them while imparting a sense of accomplishment. Be as detailed as possible, and commit to them by scheduling them to happen, suggests McMeekin. Put your goals on your calendar, or make arrangements for those things that require outside planning such as a trip or flight lessons. Then make a note of all the prep work you can begin doing now to make it happen, such as setting up a savings plan or buying tickets.

make a strategy McMeekin suggests writing a brief description of your “future self ” as you see yourself in visualization. “What are the guiding lessons from your internal mentor for you to follow up on this year? How can you begin to be that person today? Set some daily affirmations to remind you of who you really want to be,” she says. I embarked on a number of my bucket list goals in 2011, and my strategy was to concentrate on one of them per month. I came up with a project I called “30 days at a time,” and committed to spend 30 days fully embracing different goals I had. Most people agree that it takes somewhere between 21 and 30 days to ingrain a new habit, and I wanted to integrate several things in to my life, as well as give myself some challenges. It was my year of living consciously. All in all, I completed 10 30-day challenges. There weren’t a total of 12 because I

Machu Picchu

shelley's top 5

places to see before you die Statue of Liberty, New York: Say what you will about the cheesy factor, there is something spinetingling about what this has represented to hundreds of thousands of pilgrims. Angkor Wat, Cambodia: This complex, with its dozens of magical, mysterious ruins from the ancient Khmer kingdom, never fails to enchant. Taj Mahal, India: The ultimate monument to love, the Taj is most beautifully gazed upon from across the river. I love this place so much, I’ve been three times.

usually paused for about a week in between the challenges. (See sidebar for Shelley’s 30-day project bucket list.)

make it public It’s human nature; the minute we tell someone else our plans, they somehow become more real. It’s a lot easier to let that diet or workout routine or savings plan slide when no one else knows you’re doing it. Like marriage vows, making it public declares your intentions to the world, and it also enlists the encouragement and support of those around you. With my 30 days at a time project, I decided to blog about it. At 30days2011.wordpress.com, I shared my journey as I set about fulfilling my goals. It really helped, because I honestly think that many times I may

have given up early or been tempted to not stick with a project if I didn’t know that people were watching and reading about what I was doing. The encouragement I received was also a big boost, and several other people wrote that it inspired them to start their own challenges. “You deserve to have the life that you want,” McMeekin encourages. “Don’t put everything off, as we have no idea how much time we have or what our circumstances will be.” As Carter advises in The Bucket List, “Find the joy in your life.” After all, that’s what the list is all about. Gail McMeekin is the author of The 12 Secrets of Highly Successful Women and The 12 Secrets of the Highly Creative Women Journal, both with RedWheelWeiserConari Press. She can be reached at creativesuccess.com.

La Sagrada Familia, Barcelona: In comparison with hundreds of other churches I have been in, this unfinished Gaudi masterpiece is the most spectacular. Machu Picchu, Peru: The ultimate trek, this one is still on my bucket list, and I aim to go there by 2013.

austinwomanmagazine.com 65

10 year anniversary

Austin Woman magazine 2003-2004 Wearing tiaras while building a brand. By Deborah Hamilton-Lynne Photo by Rudy Arocha When the first anniversary issue of Austin Woman rolled out in September 2003, the magazine was becoming a familiar media staple, distributed throughout town in 400 locations. Co-founders Melinda Maine (Garvey) and Samantha Ostertag were looking for a way to build the brand and connect women in a social setting. From the onset, a goal of the pair was to give back to the community in a way that would benefit women, in particular. Tiara Tuesdays, a monthly launch happy-hour party would fill both needs. “Tiara Tuesdays came from Robin Campbell and Cupidz Clozet. It was her idea and it was immediately popular,” Garvey says. As Campbell relates the story, tiaras were big sellers at her popular nonprofit vintage store, Cupidz Clozet, which Campbell founded to combine her love of the art of shopping with philanthropy. All proceeds from the shop were donated to local charitable organizations. When

she asked what her customers were doing with the tiaras, the reply was, “Oh just wearing them around the house while I do my work or sometimes wearing them for a birthday party. It’s fun and it makes me feel good, so that is why I wear the tiara.” From that revelation, Campbell proposed that Austin Woman give women a place to wear their tiaras and celebrate the way they made them feel. The founders of Austin Woman took the idea and ran with it. Tiara Tuesdays became the place to network and to connect with like-minded women in a fun, social setting while giving back to the community. To date, Tiara Tuesdays has served dozens of organizations, donating proceeds from raffles and silent auctions held monthly and by spotlighting the missions, goals and needs of the beneficiary organizations, as well as connecting interested volunteers. Tiara Tuesdays also served to feature the magazine’s cover women. The choice of the women who would grace the covers during the second year also reflected the brand the magazine was building. These women were talented, connected and active in the community, interesting and interested, most with a philanthropic bent. One such cover woman was Sara Hickman. The November 2003 story described her as “singer, songwriter, free spirit,

businesswoman, mother of two, wife, community do-gooder — happily wearing many hats.” The three-page article was filled with photos of Hickman with her young family, and of Hickman on a humanitarian mission to Romania, working with blind and handicapped orphans. The organizations near and dear to Hickman’s heart mentioned in the article included Amnesty International, House the Homeless, Race for the Cure, Safe Place and People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals. Fast-forward to February 2012, and the description from 2003 still applies with even more activities, causes and accolades. Hickman served as the Texas State Musician for 2010-2011 and, never one to rest on her laurels, she initiated Family Time Rocks (familytimerocks.com), a free downloadable program funded by HEB that encourages creative activities designed for sharing as a family. The joys of her life are daughters Lili, 15, and Iolana, 11, both of whom are following in their mother’s creative footsteps. Lili is an artist, songwriter and actress. She appears with Hickman in the soon-to-bereleased film When Angels Sing, based on the book by Austinite Turk Pipkin. Iolana plays trumpet and drums. She is a photographer, creative fashionista and techno wizard. Husband Lance manages not only his wife’s career, but also the whirlwind family

cover women through the years 2003

2004

September

October

november

december

january

february

Robin Rather

Judy Maggio

Sara Hickman

Liz Lambert

Libby Doggett

Beverly Silas

66 Austin Woman f e b r u a r y 2 0 1 2

"I love to organize, introduce and connect people to help them succeed and move further along their chosen paths.” -Sara hickman

life. Hickman continues to tour, write and record using her tenure as Texas State Musician to raise funds for the Theatre Action Project through the release of The Best of Times, a tribute CD featuring 38 musicians performing Hickman’s songs. She has a new CD due for release in the spring. A selfdescribed “creative elf,” Hickman is not one to be boxed in to a category. Of her musical style Hickman says, “Why isn’t there an ‘eclectic’ category? It would fit so many Austin musicians, myself included. We think outside the box. It is what we are geared to do.” As she poses for the current photo, Hickman’s smile radiates her happy spirit and desire to make not only Austin, but also the world at large a better place. “I read The Tipping Point by Malcolm Gladwell and it really opened my eyes to the way I love connecting people,” she says. “It deepened my commitment to my purpose. I love to organize, introduce and connect people to help them succeed and move further along their chosen paths.” Eight years later, both Tiara Tuesdays and Hickman are still going strong—celebrating, connecting and championing Austin women by giving from the heart.

march

april

may

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opposite sex /

relationships

The “I” in Intimacy Nine cornerstones of a rewarding relationship. By Eric Leech February is a good month to do some housekeeping on your own love life. This should include defining your relationship, re-evaluating your expectations, throwing away any lingering grudges and rediscovering the “I” in intimacy. Most people consider the idea of an intimate relationship to mean the amount of romance and sex they are receiving from their partner. The actual definition should read, “A warm relationship between lovers guided by your ability to be understanding, informal, vulnerable, apathetic, needy, familiar, trusting, spiritual and emotionally available.” If you notice, these are all things you can do yourself without relying on your partner’s psychic abilities. Don’t wait around for your partner to do the work. Use these nine ingredients to discover true intimacy for yourself. Emotional Bonding To connect with your partner, you must communicate effectively, expressing everything from your goals and dreams to your fears and passions. This connection should include the traditional non-verbal expressions of love, such as caressing, cuddling and—a man’s favorite—sex. Spiritual Connection Your connection to your partner is driven by a clear understanding of what you mean to each other and the shared journey you have chosen to embark upon. To achieve this, you must be aware of who you are, accept your partner’s flaws and acknowledge the sacred life force that has been created by this union of body and soul. Relaxed Informality Intimacy is not just defined by your lover, but also your closest friends and family. These are the people you feel relaxed with because you can be yourself with them. If you are hiding your true self from your partner because you’re afraid of not being accepted, you have already sabotaged your chance of discovering what intimacy is all about. Understanding You should never be afraid to tell an intimate lover

68 Austin Woman f e b r u a r y 2 0 1 2

how you feel about something important, even if it could potentially hurt their feelings. You should know them well enough to explain your feelings gently so they will understand where you’re coming from, and choose to take the path of understanding, rather than stonewalling. Trust When you give yourself to someone, you are putting your trust in that person that they will not take advantage of their position to hurt you. While this is a risk, it is also the only way to open yourself to the possibility of discovering intimacy in any relationship. Familiarity Your partner should feel like that favorite pair of jeans in your closet. You know, the ones that are so worn they almost disintegrate when you slide them on. They fit every time (even after that extra dollop of mashed potatoes), look great, make you feel fantastic and you could find them blindfolded in a room full of other jeans if you had to. Vulnerability Intimacy is about ushering your partner to a frontrow seat in the story of your life. It is an unspoken promise that you will remain open to them, sharing your most intimate, closely guarded secrets, and, in

return, they will respect and hold on to them as if they were their own. Shared empathy Empathy is the ability to know your lover so well, you can sense how they feel. Your partner could walk into a room and, without even saying a word, you would know that something was wrong. This may be as close to experiencing a soul mate as most of us will ever come. Neediness The need to be with your partner can be characterized as an unhealthy, jealous relationship. In this case, however, neediness is not being defined as the fear of being apart because you might lose them, but rather comes from the desire to share as much of your life with them as possible. Each of these elements can establish a positive connection with any human being. However, when combined, they make up the truest form of intimacy that can be achieved between two romantic lovers. This is not always a natural progression, and getting here may take some effort on your part. In fact, it may take a lot of effort. But that’s all a part of the discovery that “I” should be at the forefront of every successful intimate relationship.

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David Blue Garcia

The sky’s the limit for this chivalrous sharp shooter. By Molly McManus, Photo by Rudy Arocha Lights, camera, David Blue Garcia! You are his subject. He gets the camera positioned, the lighting just right. He takes control, directing your every movement. The moment intensifies, setting the stage for what’s to come. Behind the camera and in the editing room, Garcia is a master of his craft, shooting documentaries, short and feature films, not to mention music videos for the likes of the Foo Fighters, and television for ESPN and Comedy Central, to name a few. His passion for capturing beauty and visually portraying a story has been commissioned throughout the world. Whether he’s traveling or in Austin, this irresistible artist keeps life interesting, never stagnant in his imaginative work. Turning down paid projects in January, Garcia wrote his first screenplay, the goal being to direct his own feature film in 2012. “It’s been incubating in my brain for years,” the innovative 26-year-old says of the challenging project, welcoming the risk behind this creative endeavor. Garcia’s adventurous nature also translates to his romantic side. His idea for a great date? How about sailing on Lake Travis, going salsa dancing or climbing a ladder to the top of a castle while risking being arrested by Korean police? And yes, even the last one is a real date Garcia has been on. What will he come up with next? Frankly my dears, Garcia exudes a plain and simple vibe of sexiness. His air of mystery is subtly expressed in his soft brown eyes, focused with intensity. The corners of his mouth, slightly upturned, reveal his spontaneity and sense of humor. And the endless ideas he has, waiting to be exposed, make him all the more alluring. To keep up with Garcia’s past, present and future projects, visit davidbluegarcia.com.

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Valentine’s Day from the Male Perspective For men, there is a lot at stake. By JB Hager / Photo by Rudy Arocha I sincerely hope that women realize how difficult Valentine’s Day can be on a man. Chances are, we are going to disappoint or fail completely. There is a lot at stake. Although many men appear to have an apathetic approach regarding Valentine’s Day, I contend that it’s a lot more pressure than you realize. I will be happy to share with you the difference in preparation of a man versus a woman as this purely female holiday is upon us.

What a man has to think about for Valentine’s Day: Dinner reservations. Back in the day, taking a woman out to a high-end dinner was a special occasion. Now it’s considered industry standard and expected. Traditionally, I make my Valentine’s Day reservation on the eve of the NCAA National Football Championship game (Monday, Jan. 9, Alabama versus LSU this year). That is always my reminder for two reasons. One, it’s always early enough to have my pick of the finest restaurants. Two, around 5 p.m. on that eve I can say, “Honey, I’ve made our Valentine’s Day reservations. And by the way, some guys are meeting up tonight to watch the title game. Cool?” Works every time. Flowers are also a bit of a wash. They are absolutely expected and necessary, but considered status quo on V Day. My wife doesn’t even like roses all that much, but they darn sure better be there before 5 p.m. Oh, and women see right through the last-minute, grabbed-them-at-thegrocery-store trick. If you do that, you had better hire some pimple-faced kid to deliver them in a white paneled van. The card. Picking out a card is a challenge for most men. First of all, we have waited until the last minute and the card aisle has been picked over. Most men don’t understand that the message that comes with the card is a formality. Hand-written, thought-out words are expected by women. Women enjoy messages like, “Every year you are more beautiful and I fall deeper in love. I’m eternally grateful that you have chosen me as your life partner.” We’re not capable of these kinds of messages. Here’s what we are really thinking as we put pen to paper: “Can’t wait to touch it. …”

We need to line up a babysitter. That doesn’t mean just tell her, “Hey, we need a sitter.” It means actually getting

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My wife doesn’t even like roses all that much, but they darn sure better be there before 5 p.m. on the phone, calling one well in advance and making it happen. A thoughtful gift. All men struggle in this arena. Beyond getting a gift card to one of your favorite stores, we don’t have a clue. We know you love birthstones. Where in the real world we acquire one, we’re not sure. We know you like tiny, bronzed things. We don’t want to call your mother to get our hands on a meaningful artifact. Besides, we would just use a can of gold paint. We could make you a playlist, but chances are it would be mostly death metal. We could give you a lock of hair from your celebrity crush. That would work until you figured out the hair is the exact same color and texture as the dog. We often migrate toward

purchasing lingerie, but it is somehow interpreted as a gift for ourselves, which it truly is. We could beat up your high-school nemesis. You might actually like that gift. My point is, we worry about all of these things but don’t know how to properly act on them. What a woman has to think about for Valentine’s Day: Well, I guess I’ll have sex with him again. JB Hager can be heard as part of the JB and Sandy Morning Show on Mix 94.7 Austin weekdays 6 a.m. to 10 a.m.

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The Smartest Girls in the Room Producer Meredith Walker brings Smart Girls to Austin By Joelle Pearson What did you want to be when you grew up? I spent most of my days building lean-tos out of bed sheets or drying canned corn on the patio, preparing for a mighty winter. Growing up in the country, all I wanted to be was a Native American. But somewhere around the age of 13, what I wanted to be was not nearly as important as who I was to others. I put away my tent poles for a Spice Girls CD. At that age, most girls around me did too. Meredith Walker also noticed that teen girls often drift away from their dreams during middle and high school years. “What happens to that rugged, you-can-doanything attitude?” she asks. “That part of you that wanted to be a firewoman or a vet?” About six years ago, Walker and Amy Poehler (Saturday Night Live, Parks and Recreation) were turning this question over one night in Poehler’s New York apartment, reminiscing about their childhoods. The pair became fast friends after working together on SNL (Walker served as the head of the Talent Department for about 10 years). “The conversation kept coming around to those [teen] years and what happened to us,” Walker says. Maybe, they thought, girls just need someone older to believe in them. Could it be that simple? Now Smart Girls at the Party, their coproduction, is doing just that. The third season begins filming this spring in Austin. Walker, a Houston native who now works as a producer in Austin, thinks the town is the perfect home for the show. Austin’s rich cultural diversity and its

willingness to support any lifestyle are analogous to Smart Girls’ mission and sure to provide “the most interesting” subjects yet. Walker is a great producer, and especially good with kids. She has a zesty authenticity, expressive almond eyes and a casual sense of humor that disarmed me immediately. She slouches in her seat and leans in to whisper off-the-record confessions. Before SNL, she was the senior producer for Nick News, a job that had her visit every state, interviewing countless kids for the show’s segments. Under her tenure, Nick News won several Emmys and the coveted Peabody award. “I’m not the world’s greatest producer, but I’m great at making people feel comfortable and getting them to open up,” Walker says. As a kid, she remembers times when older women took her seriously—it’s something she believes that all kids (girls especially) can benefit from. “I wasn’t trying to win their approval like I

Smart Girls at the Party is a rapidly expanding online network that aims to build confidence in young girls’ aspirations. In each episode, Walker, along with host Poehler and decorated singer-songwriter Amy Miles, interviews girls with talents that run a wide gamut. It’s part interview, part profile, full of on-the-fly humor reminiscent of SNL. Each show concludes with important questions. Smart Girls recognizes that girls—and their interests—are multi-faceted.

74 Austin Woman f e b r u a r y 2 0 1 2

was with the girls at school,” she says. “It wasn’t until later that I realized those relationships were the key to getting through those really turbulent adolescent years.” Most women know that during teen years, girls crave group support and readily abandon their interests for the sake of fitting in. “What Amy [Poehler] and I wished we had was a sort of guiding beacon,” Walker says, reflecting on her childhood. “Someone that told us who we were then was enough.” She hopes Smart Girls can be that beacon. Walker and the crew are planning its expansion from an online show to an Internet hub for teens, complete with news and interactive boards, “sort of like a Huffington Post for girls,” she says. YouTube awarded Smart Girls one of its 100 new premium channels (Slate, TED and LiveStrong are among others) in October. The new medium will mean a bigger audience, more funding and more exposure than ever before. Working on Smart Girls has reawakened something in her, something other women notice when visiting the site, watching the girls talk about their robots or their Swiss chard. “Sometimes, you get an idea of a role you’re supposed to play [in life], and you forget to have fun and be curious,” Walker says. “You never have to give up that part of you that wants to be an astronaut. …We all have an inner smart girl.”

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savvy woman /

Selecting a Life Coach Coaching: A gift to yourself. By Joelle Pearson and Terry Allbright Sometimes when you are stuck or uncertain, all you need is an outside perspective. Life coaches are trained professionals who work with active, high-functioning people who want to make a change in their lives—personal and/or professional—so they can live the lives they desire. Some coaches are generalists and others work with targeted populations or on specific areas of change. If you think you are interested in using a coach or wondering how they can help you, ask yourself the following questions before making a decision: What Makes Good Coaching? Good coaching involves a robust, active relationship of equal partners built on mutual trust, confidentiality, respect and honesty, with a concentration on your goals. When I work with clients, I ask questions to clarify and deepen their thinking about how they can reach their goals. We develop an action plan with measurable outcomes and specific behaviors and skills, even homework, for them to use between our sessions to provide structure and focus to their efforts. Then we evaluate their progress and make corrections as needed to move forward toward their specific goals. How Do I Know if Coaching Will Help Me? Anyone who is feeling blocked, stuck or uncertain about the direction of their life is a great candidate for coaching. Most people who use coaches are empowered, competent individuals needing finetuning and clarification in a specific area of their life. Many workplaces offer coaching to employees, not to fix problems, but to move good employees to greatness. Other clients come to coaches to further self-development, creativity and personal growth. Coaching can be supportive during life transitions or to help change a problem behavior or habit, like smoking.

76 Austin Woman f e b r u a r y 2 0 1 2

all the right questions How Do I Select a Coach? The first step is to do some research. Talk with your friends, ask for referrals, call your HR department, check out websites. Remember, coaching is an important commitment to yourself that occurs within a relationship, so you want to find a coach who is the best fit for you. Coaches are not licensed in any state, so anyone can hold the title of “life coach.” It is important to ask your potential coach about their training and experience. Once you get a list of potential coaches, start making phone calls or send emails. If you leave a message and don’t get a reply within 24 hours, move on; that coach is too busy. When you hear back from the coach, use a list of your prepared questions—not just these five, but all of your specific questions. Many coaches offer a free telephone consultation, which will allow you to get a feel for the coach’s personality, training, experience and orientation to coaching—all important factors in determining your successful collaboration—and to tell them about yourself, your expectations and your goals. Why Are There So Many Kinds of Coaches, and What Kind Are You? Yes, there are life coaches, personal coaches and wellness coaches, spiritual coaches, parenting coaches; the list goes on and on. The titles reflect two things: the coach’s training and the type of client they seek to attract and serve. In my practice, I use the term “life coach” because it is general and communicates my belief that we all possess resources to live with mastery, courage and wisdom. I also see the ways that change in one area of life affects other areas as well. For example, a young woman asks to focus on resolving conflict with older women at work. As the coaching progresses, she may discover that this issue is at play in other areas, perhaps at church or in a professional organization. How is Coaching Different From Psychotherapy or Talking With My Best Friend? Coaching is focused on the present (your life now) and the future. In psychotherapy, you may explore the past to identify how the problem developed. Coaching works with practical life issues, while therapy helps resolve complex clinical problems. Remember, coaching is not treatment for mental illness and is never a substitute for psychotherapy. In contrast to a best friend who is supportive, caring, validating and sympathetic, your coach will hold you accountable, keep you on track and will give active, ongoing feedback. Your friend loves you. Your coach is there to help you achieve your goals. Terry Allbright, MEd, LPC-S, RNC-E, is a life coach and psychotherapist. She can be reached at 512.983.7306 or at tallbrightlpc@gmail.com. Visit her online at tallbright.com.

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savvy woman /

The Business of Love Tips from a professional matchmaker on creating a successful marketing plan for your romantic life. By Julia McCurley When it comes to finding romance, as in business, leaving things to random chance isn’t always the answer. Between managing your professional life, keeping up with friends, family and just day-to-day activities, it’s no wonder there might be frustration as a single person in today’s frantic world. Here’s a business thought: Consider viewing your quest for a true, loving relationship as a marketing plan that needs to be implemented in a similar fashion, considering ways in which today’s business leaders develop an advertising or sales campaign in a multi-billiondollar corporation. The good news is it doesn’t take an MBA to put together a list of crucial steps on how to find true love and happiness. Simply put pen to paper and make it happen. Know Your Objective Every good business plan begins with the end result in mind. In the case of your romantic life, this can begin with a personal mission statement. For example, “I deserve love and happiness, therefore I am going to take a pro-active approach to meeting new people by stepping outside of my comfort zone.” Review Your Inventory Once a business establishes what it is trying to accomplish, those in charge take stock of the tools they have to do it. Your love marketing plan is no different. Start with

78 Austin Woman f e b r u a r y 2 0 1 2

personal best your personal inventory. What do you have to offer a potential partner? Do you feel lonely and desperate, or are you self-assured and willing to be patient as your future unfolds? How is your self-esteem? Are you strong and confident, or have your previous relationships left you doubting yourself and your potential? Do you feel like a loveable person? The takeaway message with these questions is to always remember that like attracts like. If you feel lonely and desperate, you will probably attract someone lonely and desperate to fill a temporary void in your life. The bottom line here is to take stock of yourself and determine if you are the kind of person you want to be with. Love yourself and the rest will follow. Work on becoming the person you want to attract and if you desire it deeply enough, the Law of Attraction will be your guide. Create a Situational Analysis Let’s say you have already found a way to love yourself. Your life is physically, emotionally, spiritually and intellectually balanced. How are you going to expose yourself to similarly attractive, successful professionals like yourself? Walking yourself through a simulation of the kinds of situations you might be exposed to can be a powerful tool in making your plan real. Discover Your Opportunities and Explore Issue Analysis There are opportunities everywhere to meet the person of your dreams. Let’s start with smiling and saying hello to strangers. Don’t think of it as trying to meet other singles; that is not the point. Standing in line at the grocery store, getting your coffee at the corner coffee shop, gassing up at the gas station or while in the elevator all provide chances to interact with a fellow human being that could be a potential love mate. Once you start getting positive feedback and selfvalidation, it will make you feel more confident. What kind of first impression do you make? A judgment is made within about 30 seconds of meeting someone. Make an assessment of the kind of persona you represent. If you need to improve your first impression, seek out advice and act on it. Strategy Now that you are comfortable talking to new people and approaching them in many different environments, develop and implement a detailed strategy and action plan for how you are going to meet three to five new single people a week. These new friends will have other single friends and will allow you to expand your social life tenfold. Action Plan Next, you must put your strategy in action. To meet new people, consider some of these ideas. You can see that nowhere on this list do you find “Hang out at la-

dies’ night at the local singles bar.” That’s because we have focused on ideas that can actually be successful in meeting new people in the right circumstances for having a strong chance to find love. b Read the social calendar and identify two charity events to attend every month, or at least every quarter. These charity events often attract single people because they are the ones with extra time to spend working on the committee and other types of volunteering, their company is sponsoring a table, etc. b Join the board of a nonprofit. Again, many single people are on these boards because they need to build their resumes, they care about the cause and have time to be a leader in their community. b Volunteer, volunteer, volunteer. b Exercise in public places like Lady Bird Lake or Barton Creek Trail at a set time and day. Saturday mornings are always a good time and since most people are creatures of habit, you will start to see regulars during your workout. bJoin a club. Golf and tennis are always good sports to participate in because they attract people of all ages and you need a partner. Many clubs have groups specifically for singles, as well as organized monthly social events. b Participate in your college alumni group, including fraternity/sorority groups. b Accept every invitation you receive, even if it doesn’t sound like other singles will be there. You never know. Many of your married friends love to play matchmaker, so why not take a chance? Take Action and Succeed Granted, it is hard to anticipate or predict mutual attraction. If someone could find a way to sprinkle fairy dust and make two people fall head over heels in love with each other, they would be richer than Bill Gates, Michael Dell and Warren Buffet combined. However, using business techniques from successful executives throughout the world and having a structured approach will build your confidence and therefore, according to the Law of Attraction, increase your chances of success in finding your soul mate. What do you have to lose? Take the bull by the horns and go out and take charge of your personal happiness. Are there any guarantees? Of course not. But we all know the definition of insanity is doing the same thing again and again, and expecting different results. If what you have been doing hasn’t given you the results you want, why not try a marketing plan for romance? For more information, contact Julia McCurley, founder and CEO, Something More, 512.810.8803, trysomethingmore.com.

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It’s All About You Taking “me time”—isn’t that a selfish thing to do? I was driving down the freeway with my windows open. It was 110 degrees outside. I was on my way home from the office. I was driving one of those old station wagons that, thankfully, aren’t made any more. Gridlock had set in and traffic was at a complete standstill. Everything was pretty normal until I noticed the drivers on either side of me were staring at me and scowling. You see, I had my radio blasting (it was pre-iPod days) and I was singing off-key, as I have no musical talent, at the top of my lungs and I was moving back and forth to the music without any rhythm. (My beloved sister is always quick to point out my lack of rhythm and often asks me not to dance.) She wasn’t with me at the time, so I was free to “express myself.” I felt a bit chagrined when I noticed the other drivers staring at me disdainfully, but I refused to yield to their looks of disgust. I was having my me time and loving every minute of it. So scowl away, other drivers! We are not only wives, mothers, daughters, friends and community members, but we are also employees, business owners and professional women. (Even if we are not employed outside the home, our family and children’s activities and demands have skyrocketed in the last 15 years.) By becoming part of the working world, we have, undeniably, added to the already pressing demands of our daily lives. We have to accomplish more in a day than anyone should have to. We can’t get it all done, so we have to make choices. The project at work has to be completed by the deadline. Children have to be picked up at set times. We need food in the house. Our to-do list is endless. Time for ourselves, or our me time, rarely makes it on to the to-do list.

80 Austin Woman f e b r u a r y 2 0 1 2

We’ve sacrificed that time to accomplish more “important” things, usually things for other people in our lives. We feel guilty when we do take any me time because the subliminal message we receive as women is that if we do anything for ourselves or if we put ourselves ahead of others, we are selfish and we are not good wives, mothers, daughters, employees, fill in the blank. My commute ended. I arrived home and opened the front door of the house to the screaming sounds of my three young children. They all threw themselves on me, each one trying to be louder than the other to get my attention. I used to be exhausted when I opened the door and would begrudgingly hug and kiss them, all the while wishing for some peace and quiet. That all changed when I started my daily me time. I stopped arriving home stressed out and thinking about all the slights of the day or the things I had to do tomorrow. I started to enjoy my children. I stopped seeing them as a burden and something on my to-do list. Back then, I used my me time in the car to transition from competitive trial attorney to Mom, something I discovered quite by accident. Now I use it as a kind of spiritual meditation. Me time belongs at the top of our lists. Whatever your current situation is, me time can re-energize you, help you to focus on what is most important in your life, appreciate what you do have, form a plan for where you want to go and enjoy your life. Me time ultimately leads us to a happier and more positive attitude. We then share that attitude with our families, friends, co-workers and all whom we come in to contact with. How can that be selfish?

–Lillian Hunter

lillian-hunter.blogspot.com April’s Last Word topic will be “Going green.” To be considered, email a 500-word submission by March 1 to thelastword@awmediainc.com.

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