AUSTIN WOMAN MAGAZINE | JANUARY 2020
“If you’re a mom, you’re a superhero—period.” –Rosie Pope
HERE’S TO THE LIFE WE LOVE.
AND THE LIVES WE CARE FOR.
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60
ON THE COVER
SPARKING JOY BY HANNAH J. PHILLIPS
68
FEATURE
THE MOTHER LODE
Photo by Kristen Kilpatrick.
BY BRIANNA CALERI
CONTENTS | JANUARY
31
22
COUNT US IN Women in Numbers
24
FROM THE DESK OF Iffy Ibekwe
26
GIVE BACK Strong Family Alliance
28
START THE CONVO Choosing a Child-free Lifestyle
31 A CHAT WITH 52
Shruthi Parker
ADVENTURE GIRL All Revved Up
56 MAKE ROOM
Under the Stars
74 RECIPE REVEAL
Not Your Mom’s Gin and Tonic
76 WHAT’S COOKING
52
78 WAITING ROOM 80 HER ROUTINE
Exercising After Baby
Soccer Star Jackie Pope
82 ON THE MONEY
56
Local Chefs’ New Year’s Resolutions
Your 12-month Plan for Financial Health
84
ASK LUCY Introducing Pets to Kids
86
POINT OF VIEW To Spank or Not to Spank
88
I AM AUSTIN WOMAN Marsha Stephanson
ATX WOMEN TO WATCH
74
84 14 | AUSTIN WOMAN | JANUARY 2020
36
CHELSEA SIMON
45
KRISTEN MCKELVIE
37
GINA WATERFIELD
46
JESSICA HALICH
39
ELLEN SMOAK
47
ALLI WADDELL
40
NIK SALLIE
48
LILIYA KONECHNY
41
MICHELLE AMRIEL
49
DEB YAGER
42
AMANDA KOZIEL
50
TAYLOR HARRELL-GOODWIN
43
ROSE MULLIGAN
44
51
MICHELLE NORRIS
TIFFANI MARROQUIN
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Maybe she is too frightened to ask for help. A groundbreaking study from the University of Texas estimates over 79,000 minors and teenagers in Texas today are victims of sex trafficking. These children need help. Austin Oral Surgery ~ together with area dental professionals ~ are working to identify these victims of child sex trafficking and you can help. Be on the lookout for: •
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•
Tattoos of ownership, money symbols,
•
Malnutrition
emoticons
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Torn frenum
•
Evidence of being controlled
•
Scripted or memorized history
•
Not allowed to speak for self
•
Appearance younger than stated age
•
No formal ID, documents held by
•
Subordinate, hyper-vigilant, or fearful behavior
companion
•
Companion who refuses to leave
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CONTRIBUTORS This month, we asked our contributors: In one word, what makes a great mom?
A PUBLICATION OF AW MEDIA INC.
VOLUME 18, ISSUE 5
DAWN WESTON
Publisher NIKI JONES
CHANTAL RICE
Creative Director
Managing Editor COURTNEY RUNN
KRISTEN KILPATRICK Cover photographer, “Sparking Joy,” Page 60 •c hased a family tree, traveling to four countries with her 88-year-old grandmother, Mimi, camera in hand • photographed her mother’s recipes for a book
Assistant Editor
• chased wild horses with film and a dear friend A great mom in one word: unconditional
SAM PITKIN
Marketing and Events Manager
MONIKA KELLEY CHRISTINA RINKEN-FABIANICH MEGAN WEDDLE
Account Executives
HANNAH J. PHILLIPS Cover writer, “Sparking Joy,” Page 60
LESLIE WILLIAMSON
Sales and Production Coordinator CONTRIBUTORS
•w rites about food, travel, entrepreneurship and interior design for local, national and international magazines • once took an eight-hour ferry ride to the Shetland Islands just to see them for the day
Editorial: Brianna Caleri, Alexis Green, Jenny Hoff, Abby Hopkins, Niki Jones, Sabrina LeBoeuf, Regine Malibiran, Hannah J. Phillips, Lucy J. Phillips, Courtney Runn, Gretchen M. Sanders, Marsha Stephanson
• learned everything she knows from her mom’s carpe-diem travel philosophy A great mom in one word: courage
Art: Jamie Crouse Gwynn, Misha Hettie, Niki Jones, Kristen Kilpatrick, Moyo Oyelola, Taylor Prinsen, Mackenzie Smith Kelley, Marina Wanders, Madison Weakley, Jessica Wetterer, Sam Wormald INTERNS
Lexi Ashbury, Alexis Green, Abby Hopkins, Rebeccah Macías, Gianni Zorrilla
JESSICA WETTERER Illustrator, “Women in Numbers,” Page 22 • captured a scorpion by hand (and cup) in Costa Rica • ate 56 tacos in two weeks on a solo trip through Mexico • illustrated a children’s book about a mischievous black cat A great mom in one word: home
MELINDA GARVEY
KIP GARVEY
Co-founder/Owner
CEO/Owner
SAMANTHA STEVENS
Co-founder
ASHLEY GOOLSBY
CFO
Austin Woman is a free monthly publication of AW Media Inc., and is available at more than 1,000 locations throughout Austin and in Lakeway, Cedar Park, Round Rock and Pflugerville. All rights reserved. For submission information, visit atxwoman.com/jobs. No part of the magazine may be reprinted or duplicated without permission. Visit us online at atxwoman.com. Email us at info@awmediainc.com. 512.328.2421 | 3921 Steck Ave., Suite A111, Austin, TX 78759
BRIANNA CALERI Writer, “The Mother Lode,” Page 68 • has written more than 20,000 words for Austin Woman • accidentally become a photographer • loves herself A great mom in one word: openness
COVER NOTES Photo by Kristen Kilpatrick, kristenkilpatrick.com Shot on location at The Wayback Cafe & Cottages, waybackaustin.com
FROM THE PUBLISHER
Happy New Year! 2020 is here! All of us here at Austin Woman want to wish our readers a happy and prosperous new year. For me, 2019 came with lots of unexpected and amazing changes. Not only did my husband and I welcome our first child, but I accepted the position of publisher here at Austin Woman when I was six months pregnant. It was a whirlwind, to say the least. As a new mom, my resolution is to be more present and cherish each moment. My little babe is already 3 months old and I’m trying to establish my work/home groove. I’m so lucky to lead this talented and supportive group of ladies who make it easier to find that balance. In this issue, you’ll read about other Austin moms who are not only making it work, but are also paving their own way to empower other mamas to do the same. We are thrilled to have Brooklyn Decker as our cover woman to kick off the year. If you don’t already follow her on Instagram, you should. She’s real and raw about life and motherhood, with a dry, witty sarcasm that is so refreshing. You’ll also read about Poppy, a new co-working space that provides child care while you get down to business, and Anook Athletics, a local clothing company helping make the transition into motherhood more comfortable. (Personally, I’ve been living in the company’s joggers and nursing bras!) And you may notice we’ve freshened up the look of our pages. We’re always working to keep you informed and engaged as we continue our mission to champion Austin women. We hope you enjoy reading it as much as we enjoyed creating it.
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Publication of Austin Woman would not be possible without the support of our monthly advertisers and sponsors, who believe in the impact we are making in the Austin community. The following businesses have stepped up their support of our efforts beyond traditional advertising and we are proud to recognize them as our partners. The team at Austin Woman is grateful for these businesses that have shown their commitment to the advancement of women in Austin and hopes you, as readers, recognize their efforts and support these businesses and all our regular advertisers.
18 | AUSTIN WOMAN | JANUARY 2020
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Atlanta Getaway. Nothing refreshes a gal’s mood and disposition like a relaxing and enjoyment-filled weekend escape with her besties. And Atlanta, aka The Big Peach, offers the perfect backdrop for a 48-hour girls’ getaway. We’ve got the rundown on the best ways to take in the sights, nosh some culinary delights and, of course, chillax in style. Miracle Foundation. After traveling to India and encountering orphaned children for the first time in 2000, Caroline Boudreaux knew she had found her life’s purpose. She created Miracle Foundation with the ultimate goal of going out of business by 2040 because every orphaned child has a loving home. Based in Austin, the foundation has helped more than 13,000 children since its founding and works with governments to create lasting, systematic change. Boudreaux was on the cover of Austin Woman in July 2008, so we caught up with the foundation’s new CEO, Leslie Beasley, to see how the foundation is doing and how Austinites can get involved. Red Velvet Gooey Butter Cookies. Beat the post-holiday blues with some extra holiday treats. Le Politique Pastry Chef Melissa Carroll shares her recipe for red velvet gooey butter cookies, and it’s the perfect recipe to stay warm and cozy in the new year.
WIN THIS! APPAREL FROM ANOOK ATHLETICS Mamas rejoice! This month, thanks to Anook Athletics, which offers moms innovative and ultra-comfy clothing that supports their bodies from prenatal stages to the time of chasing after toddlers, one lucky Austin Woman reader will win a Nila Redwood Bra (a $58 value), the ideal nursing garment with expand-andcontract capabilities, making it perfect from Mama’s first trimester to her third and many years postpartum, as well as the supportive Poppy Leggings in heathered stone (a $98 value), which are designed for the changing female body at all stages. To enter to win, follow us on Instagram @austinwoman and stay on the lookout for the giveaway announcement. A winner will be chosen by the end of the month.
20 | AUSTIN WOMAN | JANUARY 2020
DON’T MISS Revive Collective Jan. 28, 8 a.m. to 6 p.m. One Eleven East, 111 East St. Hutto, Texas therevivecollective.com Keyholder ’20 Jan. 30, 5:30 to 8 p.m. The Long Center for the Performing Arts, 701 W. Riverside Drive keyholderaustin.org Wonders & Worries Unmasked Gala Feb. 7, 6:30 to 11:30 p.m. JW Marriott Austin, 110 E. Second St. wondersandworries.org/events/unmasked
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Atlanta photo by Niki Jones. Cookies photo courtesy of Le Politique. Miracle Foundation photo courtesy of Miracle Foundation. Win this photos courtesy of Anook Athletics.
Can’t get enough of this issue? Check us out at atxwoman.com.
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RETAIL THERAPY TAKES ON A WHOLE NEW MEANING WITH ESTILO OWNER
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Stephanie Coultress O’Neill Stephanie Coultress O’Neill has always had an eye for style, but before she owned Austin’s most acclaimed boutique, she owned a private psychology practice. With an entrepreneurial spirit and a heart for serving others, she knew her ability to help her patients flourish would only expand with the addition of helping them find their best selves through retail. After five years in the psychology space, Coultress O’Neill self-funded her own shop in the first floor of her condo, and in 2004, the concept of Estilo was born. After a successful first year with her inhome shop, Coultress O’Neill embarked into the brick-and-mortar space with the opening of Estilo in the heart of the Second Street District and continued to grow Estilo, even throughout the Great Recession in 2009. After a decade in downtown Austin, Estilo relocated to Tarrytown to meet the boutique’s target market. Since then, Estilo continues to thrive in Casis Village and excitedly opened its doors to a new men’s store in December, just in time for the holidays. Steps away from its flagship women’s boutique is the new menswear concept: Estilo Men. As owner, Coultress O’Neill is thrilled to provide a modern space for Austin men to hang out, enjoy craft cocktails and shop. The polished men’s clothing, shoes and accessories boutique is fully stocked with lines like John Varvatos, Theory, Ted Baker, AG, Rails and more, perfect for any occasion, casual or formal. Estilo Men is located at 2727 Exposition Blvd., suite 128 in Austin. Juggling life with her two daughters and husband Todd, Coultress O’Neill manages to be a great mom and a great friend and personal styling coach to many of her repeat clients. Estilo also meets many moms right where they are with the convenience of opening as early as 8 a.m. and closing as late as 6 p.m. to accommodate their school pickup and drop-off schedules. Coultress O’Neill is regarded as a top stylist and fashion icon in Austin. When guests enter the doors of Estilo, they are welcomed by the friendly faces of her trained styling staff, the offer of a cocktail or a glass of Champagne and personalized styling help from Coultress
O’Neill or any member of her esteemed team. Shopping at Estilo allows customers to branch out with new pieces while also maintaining their personal style. With the personalized help
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COUNT US IN
WOMEN IN NUMBERS
From mompreneurs taking over the business world to mothers leading households, women are redefining traditional norms of motherhood. BY ALEXIS GREEN ILLUSTRATIONS BY JESSICA WETTERER
1 in 4 Gone are the days of the white picket fence and household gendered norms. Although the majority of mothers in the U.S. are married, according to the Pew Research Center, about a quarter are raising children on their own. Additionally, more mothers are becoming the heads of their households, with 40 percent saying they are the primary or sole earner in their family, compared with 11 percent in 1960.
4.3 Babies In the time it took to read this sentence, a baby was born, as 4.3 babies are born every second. With more than 2 billion moms worldwide— and 85.4 million of them in the U.S.— mothers basically rule the world.
$233,610 5 Million Ounces Located in Austin, Mothers’ Milk Bank is a nonprofit milk bank that has dispensed more than 5 million ounces of donor human milk to women with medically fragile or premature infants. The organization is volunteer-based and had more than 1,000 mom donors in Texas and throughout the U.S. in 2018, with donors contributing $300,000 worth of milk through the organization’s Charitable Care program.
22 | AUSTIN WOMAN | January 2020
26 Motherhood is no longer the top priority for younger women. With an increasing number of women waiting until later in life to start having children, the average age of first-time mothers in 2019 was 26, increasing from 23 in 1994. Despite the age increase, more women overall are becoming mothers than they were a decade ago, especially those with higher education. As of 2014, 80 percent of 40- to 44-year-old women with a Ph.D. or professional degree had given birth, compared with 65 percent a decade earlier.
The average cost of raising a child in a middle-income family, according to a recent report from the USDA, is nearly a quarter of a million dollars— and that doesn’t even include the price tag associated with a college or postsecondary education. But parents don’t have to wait for Baby to arrive before the expenses add up. Prenatal care, labor and delivery costs can run new parents as much as $11,000. In vitro fertilization can cost $15,000 for just one round, with multiple rounds often required for conceiving a child. Going the adoption route isn’t very affordable either, with costs in the U.S. ranging from $15,000 to about $40,000.
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FROM THE DESK OF
L
IFFY IBEKWE
The estate-planning lawyer shares her advice for how to prepare for unexpected life events and protect your family. BY ABBY HOPKINS ILLUSTRATION BY MADISON WEAKLEY
awyer Iffy Ibekwe has seen unexpected deaths cause chaos for families. When her father passed away in 2004 without a will, Ibekwe watched her mother conclude the dealings of his estate by herself while grieving. Seeing her mother cope and hearing about others wrestling with the same struggles influenced her career path. A practicing lawyer for 13 years, Ibekwe created her own estate-planning firm, Ibekwe Law, specifically to help women prepare wills, trusts and other legal documents to protect their families in the event of a death or unexpected emergency. Ibekwe shares her tips for how to start thinking about preparing yourself and your loved ones for anything life may bring.
CONSIDER LIFE INSURANCE. “It’ll never be cheaper and more accessible than it is at your age today. Life insurance is a great way of giving money to your loved one, even if you feel like all you have is debt. This is the sort of thing you could leave to your children in a trust, and it would carry them through college or buying their first home or a down payment on a business.”
HAVE THE HARD CONVERSATIONS. “One of the biggest barriers I hear parents give is the fear of not knowing what would happen to their children if something were to happen to them and not wanting to have that conversation. I really encourage my families, even if they’re single parents, to think about it because it’s not as hard as you think when you get your thoughts down and have it shared with the parties that matter.”
SET UP AN ESTATE PLAN. “The best thing to do is go to a licensed professional attorney and start talking through what ways you can plan for your kids and plan for yourself. These are the conversations you’ve had at home with your spouse or significant other, and then you can take those to the attorney and talk through what you would like to accomplish, and they can give you ideas of what documents you need.”
CHOOSE A GUARDIAN FOR YOUR MINOR KIDS. “You can start as easily as writing a list of who you would want to take care of your kids [if something happened to you] and who you would not want to take care of your kids. Also, have a conversation with potential guardian candidates to figure out whether they’d be up to it. Then you’d want to set up a guardianship nomination document for your children to make sure you have a plan in place.”
TRUST A PROFESSIONAL TO GUIDE YOU. “Just like you could go on YouTube and figure out how to fix your car engine, you can find cheap ways to find out your estate plan. But the problem with doing things that way is you’re not a professional in that area. Go to someone who really does this and not just fits it in [in] addition to 12 other areas of the law.”
24 | AUSTIN WOMAN | January 2020
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Strong Family Alliance provides resources for parents and children navigating the complexities of coming out. BY ABBY HOPKINS
I
n the middle of the night, Janet Duke awoke to her 12-year-old daughter, Johanna Duke, standing over her bedside crying. “I need help,” she told her mother. They sat for a couple hours until Johanna Duke told her mother she is gay and feared she’d hurt herself. After a long and difficult night, Janet Duke remembers thinking, “Lord, please tell me what to do. Please let her come to me. Don’t let her hurt herself.” She wanted to love and parent well as her daughter became more public about being gay but struggled to find helpful resources. After years of assisting parents in similar circumstances and speaking publicly about the topic, Janet Duke met women who helped her establish the website and resource she dreamed of creating. Strong Family Alliance began four years ago as a nonprofit website packed with resources for parents and children about navigating the complexities of coming out. The site contains research-based information, additional resources and parent testimonials. “The parent I see us working with is probably sleepless at 2 in the morning, and they’re on their computer with a box of Kleenex nearby, trying to figure out what they should know, understand and do,” Janet Duke says. Even with resources, parents still struggle. According to a study by George Washington University, many parents of children who have come out say even two years later, it is still “moderately” or “very hard” for them to adjust. Ann Gutierrez*, who considers herself an ally and openminded person, realized she had a lot to learn and adjust to when her son came out. “When I ran into the information that Strong Family Alliance had, I felt very guilty at the beginning that I was crying,” Gutierrez says. “Then I realized this is a normal process, that other parents had gone through the same thing. It really helped me to read other parents’ stories and realize that we all struggle with it, no matter how aware or woke we think we are.” Aware of the difficulties, Strong Family Alliance seeks to address common fears and myths with the hope that parents will have guidance about what helps or hurts their children so families can stay intact. 26 | AUSTIN WOMAN | January 2020
*This name has been changed as requested to protect the person’s identity.
Janet and Johanna Duke
Photo courtesy of Janet Duke.
SAVING LIVES, PRESERVING FAMILIES
For Amy Fenwick, who came out in her late 20s, the conversation with her mother didn’t go as she hoped and led to a complex relationship for about five years until the world and her mother became more accepting. “I just didn’t have any resources to talk to her about it. I didn’t have any place to send her,” Fenwick says. “Having a Strong Family Alliance resource, not only to prepare yourself for the conversation with your parents, but also for your parents to go to and learn on their own time, that’s hugely valuable. And that just wasn’t around 15, 20 years ago.” Janet Duke’s key advice for parents of kids who are coming out is to learn all they can and be forgiving because everyone involved will make mistakes. “Raising her was the most humbling and strengthening thing I’ve ever encountered,” she says of her daughter with tears in her eyes. “She taught me so much about looking at the whole person and not any single characteristic, so much about what it means to love unconditionally.” The mother and daughter are still close 20 years later, but the journey was not easy. Janet Duke has stood with her daughter in public when she was yelled at, dismissed or ignored, and has deep admiration for how her daughter has consistently handled discrimination. “It’s not easy to be openly LGBTQ+, even in this day and age,” Janet Duke says. “There’s a lot of negative out there in the press, in government, in individual encounters, but I have so much admiration for her and for all those that try to remain positive and true to themselves.”
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START THE CONVO
CHOOSING A CHILD-FREE LIFESTYLE
More women are shedding the expectation of childbearing and opting to live child-free lives. BY REGINE MALIBIRAN
First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes Baby in the baby carriage—or maybe not. In 2018, there were only 3.79 million babies born in the United States, the lowest number since the 1980s, according to the National Center for Health Statistics. Now that even the youngest millennials are approaching their mid-20s, Americans are asking, “Why are more women choosing not to have kids?” Answers range from financial barriers to the rise of contraceptives to high maternal mortality rates. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, about 700 American women die from pregnancy-related complications annually. Black and American Indian/Alaska Native women have particular cause for concern, as they are three times as likely to die from pregnancy-related issues as their white counterparts. These are just the overarching challenges women consider. There are more personal factors as well, such as the choice of partner, prioritizing one’s career or fertility issues. Future-thinking individuals also worry about the effect of climate change on their potential children and contrubting to the world’s overpopulation. Women from marginalized communities have the added worry of what it means to raise a child in our nation’s current political climate. The Pew Research Center found childlessness is most common among women with higher education. White women currently lead the pack, but rates of childlessness “rose more for nonwhites than whites between 1994 to 2008.” Regardless of any individual woman’s decision, the consequences can be difficult to contend with. Mothers face a severe lack of structural support. In Texas, the most uninsured state in the U.S., the average price for a vaginal delivery is $7,349. But a woman needing a cesarean section can expect that cost to rise to $10,576. Plus, the U.S. is one of only two nations in the world that doesn’t have federally mandated maternity leave. On the other hand, women who don’t become mothers are often met with judgment and accusations of selfishness. 28 | AUSTIN WOMAN | January 2020
“There’s an inherent value attached to women as long as they produce because that’s what we’re ‘made for,’ ” says Crystal Rivera, a digital-marketing consultant. Rivera has known she doesn’t want to have kids since she was in her early 20s, when her hometown friends started to have children of their own. “I saw the reality of becoming a parent when I was just starting to taste a certain amount of independence and the ability to pursue the kind of life that I wanted,” Rivera recalls. “I just realized that it wasn’t something for me and it wasn’t something that I wanted to make space for.” Rivera has had about 10 years to practice her response to the undying question of whether she plans to have kids and the often wellintentioned but still invasive follow-up query: “Why?” However, she cautions people against the urge to pry. “There’s such a sense of entitlement in asking why, and it often skips over the fact that there’s a lot of reasons why someone may decide not to have kids,” Rivera says. “Maybe the decision was taken out of their hands and they had to make a choice to accept it.” For her part, Rivera is perfectly content with her status as the “cool aunt.” Not having children has allowed her to pursue whatever ambitions she has at the time, “which has manifested in a lot of international travel and living abroad for a while.” Rivera firmly believes in women’s agency and the need for support, regardless of a woman’s choice. “I deserve to be able to decide I’m not going to be a mom just as much as someone deserves to decide they want to,” she says, “and they get the support that they need to do it.”
HOW TO START THE CONVO
CHILD-FREE WOMEN BY THE NUMBERS
Seek to understand. Know not every woman is comfortable sharing her reasons for not having children, and if she is, treat her decision and situation with consideration and respect.
1 in 5: According to the Pew Research Center, nearly one American woman in five reaches the end of her childbearing years without having borne a child, compared with the 1970s, when one U.S. woman out of 10 was childless.
Find community. Women without children often feel isolated. Groups like Babes without Babes and The Not Mom provide opportunities for child-free women to meet, interact and share their stories. Support women’s health issues. Conduct research on your local political representatives and legislation to advocate for more resources to support women’s health, regardless of women’s individual choices about having kids.
$7,349: The average price for a vaginal delivery in the state of Texas is $7,349, with that figure increasing to an average of $10,576 for a cesarean section. 3.79 million: In 2018, 3.79 million babies were born in the United States, the lowest number, according to the National Center for Health Statistics, since the 1980s, marking a 32-year low.
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A CHAT WITH
SHRUTHI PARKER
The influencer shares the inspiration behind her vulnerable maternity photo shoot and how pregnancy changed her relationship with her body.
Photo by Taylor Prinsen.
BY COURTNEY RUNN
ATXWOMAN.COM |  31
Shruthi Parker was terrified to post pregnancy pictures on social media. Like any pregnant influencer, she scheduled a maternity photo shoot before giving birth but spent a week writing and rewriting the captions. With shaking hands, she pressed “Share.” The response was immediate: Thousands of women liked and commented on the four-part series showcasing her stretch marks and changing body, and the images quickly became some of her most-liked pictures ever. Authenticity is a buzzword online, but Parker’s belly-baring photos cut past the performative vulnerability of many of her peers in the industry and explored deeper insecurities and universal fears.
Austin Woman: What was your inspiration for such an unguarded photo shoot? Shruthi Parker: I wanted to schedule maternity photos to capture the changing body and I was talking to my husband. I was like, “I don’t know. I feel like everyone does this thing where they wear a pretty gown, and that hasn’t been a symbol of pregnancy for me.” For me, I’ve been the same shape and size for 12 years. … I’m so thrilled and blessed and excited to have this baby but at the same time, it’s been a challenge to what was a big part of my identity. … I met with [photographer Taylor Prinsen] and told her how I felt like, just in this generation, it’s been so much about this idea of perfection. I’ve even had probably three or four plastic surgeons follow me [on Instagram] during pregnancy and a few brands reach out to me about stretch-mark creams and this and that, and I was like, “If I’m feeling this much pressure, there [have] to be other women out there that are also being told, ‘Cool, cool. That’s great you’re carrying life and having a child but remember, when you’re ready to get back to focusing on your image of perfection, come check us out.’ ” AW: Did you hear that message from other women in your life too?
“”
We idolize this body that is flawless, and we put the mother body in a different category of useful but not beautiful or sexy. I’m just over that.
32 | AUSTIN WOMAN | January 2020
SP: Definitely. Other women have been like, “Enjoy it while it lasts. Then once the baby’s out, you’ll have all this sagging skin.” It’s not a very positive approach to it all. We idolize this body that is flawless, and we put the mother body in a different category of useful but not beautiful or sexy. I’m just over that. AW: Do you think it goes back to the tension that women are expected to want children and have children and they’re praised when they do and shamed if they don’t? But once you do have kids, you shouldn’t look like you had a child even though that’s what you were asked to do. SP: Yeah, exactly! I know people’s intentions are good when they say, “Wow you don’t even look like you had a baby.” But the reality is I did, and my body has changed so much and that’s post-baby. So, pre-baby…people are like, “What’s your weight-loss plan?” and “Thank God for one-piece swimsuits,” and stuff like that. AW: Was it a month-by-month process of accepting your body? SP: I would say it was definitely a process. I remember going to the extreme of, “At least I can carry a child. Stop whining. Stop being like this.” To some extent, I think it is healthy to remember that it is a gift, obviously, to carry life, but at the same time, it doesn’t negate your own feelings, and I had to work through that. You don’t have to use the word “mourn.” I’ve heard women be like, “Oh, I mourn not having that body anymore.” Rather, it’s a rebirth; it’s a new body; it’s an evolution of the body. And so, definitely, I had to go from this place of feeling frustrated and ugly pretty much to, “Wow! This is strength and power and I’m carrying this child and she’s healthy and I’m healthy.”
AW: What helped you make that mental shift? SP: Honestly, my faith. I really, really had to surrender where I was finding my identity. Every day I was like, “God, I need you to help me see this body the way you see it, which is perfectly made.” AW: What positive stories did you hear from women after sharing the pictures? SP: One woman specifically talked about how she hasn’t changed clothes in front of her husband since she’s given birth to their kid and she was like, “I feel encouraged now that I can do that in front of him.” That is so wild but I understand because the root of it is the same of feeling like [your body isn’t] good enough. Other women who are also pregnant [said,] “I have had this fear of stretch marks this whole time. I’ve been more worried about stretch marks than my baby’s health.” And [now they’re] like, “You’re right. These are victory marks. They’re not something I need to spend even a second being worried about.”
“” These are victory marks. They’re not something I need to spend even a second being worried about.
AW: You gave them permission to acknowledge negative thoughts and permission to move past them. SP: I read these stories all day and I sat on the couch reading and reading and that night, I went into labor. … My doctor said the baby won’t come if the body is stressed and she’s like, “You probably were in such a state of joy hearing all of this that your baby is like, ‘All right, I’m ready.’ ” It was amazing.
Photo courtesy of Shruthi Parker.
AW: This was part of your Instagram caption: “My fear tells me women will see my new stretched and marked body and say, ‘Yes! Start the conversation! We need to see more of this!’ but their eyes will say, ‘Thank God that’s not mine.’ [blinks back tears].” That seems a prevalent dichotomy in many areas of life. You know the conversation should start but you don’t want to need to benefit from that conversation. You want to be above it. Why do you think women struggle with this tension so much? SP: I think the core of it is comparison and being like, “At least I don’t have that, but let me cheer you on. Look at me. I’m such an advocate but it’s not something I struggle with. I’m better than that.” And that comes from comparison, pride and deeply rooted insecurity of needing to find affirmation in something they actually shouldn’t be ashamed of. I know for myself, at least, I [didn’t] want to share this because it is real, raw, vulnerable but it also shows where I was insecure and angry at something. When someone is like, “I could have never shared that but I’m glad you did,” I want to tell them, “You can. You can share that, and not only would that help you, but it would help so many other women.” Read the rest of AW’s chat with Shruthi Parker at atxwoman.com. ATXWOMAN.COM | 33
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WOMAN to WATCH
CHELSEA SIMON
C H I E F O P E R AT I O N S O F F I C E R O F A D VA N C E D PA I N C A R E , R O U N D R O C K S U R G E R Y C E N T E R A N D A D VA N C E D S U R G I C A L C E N T E R
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helsea Simon is the chief operations officer for Advanced Pain Care, Round Rock Surgery Center and Advanced Surgical Center. Simon’s leadership has assisted the pain practice in operating 11 physician clinics and two surgery centers, along with bringing on other specialties such as neurosurgery, orthopedics, rheumatology, addictionology and behavioral health. Her clinics have become the leaders in the industry for a minimally invasive procedure known as spinal-cord stimulation. Simon has been in the health-care industry since age 16, and her goal was to become the COO of a health-care facility before 30. She was able to accomplish this through hard work and dedication at Advanced Pain Care. Outside work, Simon and her husband, Brad, enjoy spending time on the lake with friends and family, and cheering on their daughter Jade in gymnastics. austinpaindoctor.com
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G I N A WAT E R F I E L D
WOMEN’S EMPOWERMENT GUIDE
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ina Waterfield’s mission is to tackle the barriers women face that hinder their personal and business success. After working in the healing arts for more than 20 years, Waterfield developed a powerful technique that guides women to step into their personal greatness. She combines the latest in neuroscience, using deep theta-level guided meditation, trauma-informed energy healing and pragmatic wisdom. Her message of empowerment allows women to gain clarity, confidence and more control in their lives. “It’s all about learning the art of self-mastery,” she says, “and minimizing the emotional impact of negative circumstances and people around you. I truly learned this skill when I decided to go homeless, jobless and loveless.” Her Perfectly Imperfect seminar has earned rave reviews throughout the country, and she is excited to extend it into 2020. Connect with Waterfield at gina@ginawaterfield.com. She is available for keynote speeches, seminars, podcasts and personal coaching. ginawaterfield.com
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ELLEN SMOAK
FOUNDER A ND CEO OF THE SOCIE T Y OF WOMEN ENTREPRENEURS
E
llen Smoak is a two-time bestselling author, keynote speaker, and founder and CEO of The Society of Women Entrepreneurs. She’s been called a “true change agent” by Marci Shimoff, star of the hit movie The Secret. Smoak was the keynote speaker at the 2018 TEDx BartonSpringsWomen in Austin, where her passionate speech, “Confessions of a Former Mean Girl,” sparked a call to action for women throughout the world to learn a better, more empowering way of relating to one another. In her speech, Smoak affirms, “If we’re going to keep rising as women, then we absolutely must start treating each other better.” Smoak’s passion for women supporting women is informed by her experience during adolescence of terrible bullying at the hands of other girls. Experience matched with later insights about this and related problems led Smoak to create The Society of WE. Her inspiring message is perfect for any audience that seeks inspiration and motivation for change. ellensmoak.com
SPECIAL PROMOTION | ATXWOMAN.COM ATXWOMAN.COM | | 39 39
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WOMAN to WATCH
NIK SALLIE L AW Y ER
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ik Sallie is an award-winning intellectual-property lawyer in Austin providing legal services and business coaching to corporate women with side hustles through her website, niksallie.com, “the home of holistic hustle.” Her expertise includes a unique blend of branding, trademark law and digital marketing based on almost a decade working at a prestigious social-media tech company. She was selected for two consecutive years to lead South By Southwest Mentor Sessions. She served as a council member within the State Bar of Texas IP Section and is a member of The Society of Women Entrepreneurs. As a trademark lawyer and branding expert, Sallie works with women entrepreneurs to create legally protected, soul-injected brands that manifest their purpose into profits. She is a sought-after speaker and continues to be a featured guest on several independent podcasts and online shows focused on entrepreneurship and self-care. In addition to her legal practice and business coaching, she is also a trained reiki healer and intuitive empath. Connect with Sallie on social media @NikSallie. niksallie.com
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XX M ICHELLE AMRIEL
WROAMNESNF’O T S REMMAPTO I OWNEARLMCE O NA T CGHU I D E
G M
inaany Waterfield’s mothers transitioning mission is to through tackledivorce the barriers feel overwhelmed, women face that powerless hinderand theirfearful personal of becoming and business a single success. parent. When After her working purpose in the found healing her,arts Michelle for more Amriel thanbecame 20 years,committed Waterfieldto developed serving moms a powerful deeply. techAs a nique result of that working guideswith women her, to moms stepfeel intowhole their personal and confident, greatness. find their She footing combines andthe their latest strength, in neuroscience, and create an using unshakable deep theta-level foundation so guided they can meditation, live a peaceful trauma-informed life for themselves energy and healing theirand children. pragmatic Amrielwisdom. has more Her than message 10 years of ofexperience empowerment in personal allows women development to gainand clarity, nine confidence years of experience and moreincontrol co-parenting in theirsuccessfully. lives. “It’s all Through abouther learning own healing the artjourney of self-mastery,” of self-discovery, she says, along “and withminimizing more than the 10 years emotional of transformational impact of negative training, circumstances she tapped into and her gifts people andaround inner strengths you. I truly to guide learned moms this so skillthey when canI create decided a life to go theyhomeless, love and recognize. jobless and Her mission loveless.” in Her life is Perfectly to teachImperfect moms how seminar to raise haschildren earnedwho rave don’t reviews need throughout to recover the from country, their childhood. and she is This excited is howtoshe extend thinksit we intochange 2020. Connect the world.with In her Waterfield spare time, gina@ginawaterfield.com. She she enjoys yoga, gardening, dancing, is available cooking for keynote healthy meals, speeches, connecting seminars, withpodcasts nature, and andraising personal andcoaching. connecting with her 9-year-old son. ginawaterfield.com michelleamriel.com
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ATX
WOMAN to WATCH
AMAN DA KOZ IEL
FOUNDER OF THE VIP WOMAN
A
native of Chicago and a graduate of the University of Illinois, Amanda Koziel is the founder of The VIP Woman. With more than a decade in the sales and leadership-development field, Koziel identified a gap in the support and ongoing education for budding women in leadership in her industry. Six months ago, she launched a professional coaching and education platform, The VIP Woman. She’s no stranger to entrepreneurship, and her experience in running multiple franchises, along with coaching a sales team, has given her the background to get her driven clients results now, not later. Her passion is supporting women in leadership positions and those that aspire to leadership, to help them define their voice in the workplace and live a life of true vision, impact and purpose. Koziel is also a competitive ballroom dancer and loves spoiling her calico/tabby mix, Ginger, and scouring the city for the next guilt-free dessert. thevipwoman.com
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WOMAN to WATCH
ROSE MULLIGAN
FOUNDER OF HAPPINESS CHIROPR ACTIC AND WELLNESS
B
estselling author, sought-after speaker and founder of Happiness Chiropractic and Wellness, Rose Mulligan is known as the spine whisperer. As a doctor of chiropractic serving Austin since 2005 with compassion and grace, she’s helped thousands of professionals naturally overcome stress, depression, anxiety and burnout to live life at its best. As a body/mind stress specialist, she is a world-renowned expert in the leading-edge works of Network Spinal and Somato Respiratory Integration. Thought leaders such as Tony Robbins, Lewis Howes, Miss Jaiya and Deepak Chopra swear it’s their best-kept secret for top performance. Also an applied clinical nutritionist utilizing functional-medicine protocols, she offers detox programs and personalized nutritional supplementation. For Austin Woman readers seeking more out of their current health experience and to see if happiness is the solution, she is offering a complimentary, in-depth one-on-one wellness discovery call valued at $200. Her passion is assisting individuals who are ready to live an extraordinary life of exceptional health and life fulfillment. happinessatx.com
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WOMAN to WATCH
T I FFA N I M ARRO Q U I N
C E O O F L U X E A B R O A D G L O B A L R E A L E S TAT E
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orld travel and real estate are the heart and soul of Tiffani Marroquin’s business. As an international Realtor with the prestigious certified international property specialist designation, Marroquin helps affluent Austin residents who are cultured and independent expand their real-estate portfolios into the global market. With a lifetime of luxury international travel on the pages of her passport, Marroquin is inspiring and educating people to get out and see the world, become global citizens and diversify their investments. She believes travel is the best education and that it can create bonding experiences for couples, families and friends alike. Marroquin hosts exclusive property tours abroad, in addition to creatively marketing luxury homes in the Austin market. Twelve years in the real-estate business and her coveted travel hacks are opening doors to experiences and places her clients have only dreamed of before. luxeabroad.com
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WOMAN to WATCH
K R I S T E N M C K E LV I E
F O U N D E R O F AU ST I N F LOW E R WA L L S A N D B O U D O I R PH OTO G R A PH E R
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er work is described as imaginative, honest and breathtaking. Kristen McKelvie possesses an extraordinary talent for capturing and creating exceptional beauty. A creative at heart, she is known for her skill and originality as the founder of Austin Flower Walls, working with a diverse range of clients, including 7 For All Mankind, Spanish Oaks Golf Club and Nordstrom. McKelvie is praised for her unique ability to design vibrant Instagram-worthy backdrops, which elevate both the aesthetic and the experience of any event. Similar to her flower-wall work, she is in a league of her own as a photographer and is appreciated for her eye for detail and her ability to capture authentic emotion. A wife and mom of three pups, McKelvie is on a mission to empower women through expressive imagery. Her highly popular Love Yourself Boudoir Sessions convey riveting personal stories and inspire greater confidence in her clients, giving women the empowerment they desire. If your goal is to shine from within, McKelvie can help you make the process fun, liberating and inspiring. kristenmckelvie.com
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WOMAN to WATCH
JESSICA HALICH
FOUNDER AND OWNER OF FANCY FLUFF AND THE CHURRO BURRO
J
essica Halich is the founder and owner of Fancy Fluff. Fancy Fluff provides the surprise and delight for special events with its new twist on the classic cotton-candy treat. Combining her background in special events, love of cooking and keen business finesse, she launched Fancy Fluff in 2017 as a new delectable dessert for Austinites, one made with natural, organic ingredients and full of real flavor. Today, Fancy Fluff offers more than 65 fun flavors, all gluten-free, vegan and ready for you to personalize with branding for special celebrations, corporate events or weddings for parties as large as 5,000. With the success of Fancy Fluff, Halich recently launched a sister brand, The Churro Burro, which serves up hot and delicious churros for celebrations, complete with custom gourmet dipping sauces. fancyfluffatx.com
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WOMAN to WATCH
A LL I WA D D E LL
CO-FOUNDER OF ILLUMMA
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lli Waddell stands for radical honesty, self-awareness and self-love and believes “only when we heal ourselves can we heal the world.” She has been recognized as an expert in the wellness industry for nearly two decades, empowering people to create and maintain healthy and happy lives. As a coach, speaker and the co-founder of Illumma, Austin’s premier ketamine-infusion clinic, Waddell is a lifeline of healing and holistic well-being. Everyone is put on this earth with a purpose and a mission, to express his or her light. But many times, trauma and life circumstances can cause that light to dim, to be blocked out by fear, depression and anxiety. At Illumma, Waddell helps people shine bright again. Patients rediscover, remember and reconnect with the amazing spirit that was previously just beyond their reach. Illumma provides tools for lifelong personal transformation. illumma.com
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WOMAN to WATCH
L I L I YA KO N E C H N Y
C H I E F F I N A N C I A L O F F I C E R A N D O W N E R O F C O N TA I N WAT E R S Y S T E M S
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fter completing her master’s degree, Liliya Konechny spent six years in various business industries. From the various roles she performed, she saw a gap in the market for a full-service water-storage-tank manufacturing company, so she created Contain Water Systems. Konechny was born to do business but in her own way. No one taught Konechny how to do business; she simply made up her own rules. Konechny is the chief financial officer and owner of an innovative water-storage-tank manufacturing company. Her company exclusively acts as a full-service provider for its distribution network throughout North America. She welcomes the competition and stamps on them with the best high heels. “My vision is to create a company that stands out for not only providing an excellentquality service, but a business who really cares about why we are doing it, in order to help the client,” she says. Combining these skills with her strong moral values and a caring personality, Konechny leads the largest corrugated-water-storage-tank company in North America. She is also a millennial mom and a successful entrepreneur. containwatersystems.com
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WOMAN to WATCH
D E B Y A G E R
C O - F O U N D E R O F YA G E R T R A I N I N G
D
eb Yager believes anyone can achieve mastery in life. As a master coach and certified trainer of Neuro-Linguistic Programming, Time Line Therapy and hypnosis, a keynote speaker and a No. 1 bestselling author, she is dedicated to empowering her students to realize the lives of their dreams via her in-demand coaching business, Yager Training. Yager utilized the tools and fundamentals of NLP to save her own life as a young adult and go on to build a multiple-six-figure business with her husband and co-founder, Brandon Yager. She is passionate about working with other women and other coaches to help them identify false limitations and actualize their full potential. Her recurring success in transforming her clients’ and students’ lives and businesses has made her one of the most sought-after performance coaches and trainers in Austin. Find her on Instagram @deborahyager. yagertraining.com
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WOMAN to WATCH
TAY L O R H A R R E L L - G O O D W I N C E O O F L I V E LY C O T R A V E L
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aylor Harrell-Goodwin, a fifth-generation Austinite, joined the hospitality industry at the young age of 16 by working for major hotels as a hostess to the front desk, eventually working her way up to operations. Serving as a Women in Lodging committee member since 2017 in the American Hotel & Lodging Association and as a 2019 board member of the Society of Government Meeting Planners Lone Star Capital chapter, Harrell-Goodwin is trusted in the hospitality industry for her expertise in travel and tourism, hospitality management, and meeting and event planning. Harrell-Goodwin recently took over as CEO of Lively Co Travel, a full-service travel agency that promises concierge service and competitive pricing. Harrell-Goodwin spends her free time with a 5-year-old baby sister (they’re 21 years apart) and mentoring underprivileged youth. livelycotravel.com
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WOMAN to WATCH
MICHELLE NORRIS
C E O A N D C O - F O U N D E R O F PA L E O F ( X )
M
ichelle Norris is the CEO and co-founder of Paleo f(x), the largest paleo health-and-wellness platform in the world. She’s a trained chef and a former C-suite corporate warrior whose previous health issues and extended battle with traditional medicine inspired her to reinvent the way the world tackles health, wellness and prosperity. Entrepreneurship is in Norris’ blood. In the midst of the worst economic environment since the Great Depression, and surviving the death of her 22-year-old daughter, Norris knows what it’s like to fight back from devastating loss. Instead of wallowing in self-pity, she used tragedy as impetus for her to follow through with her vision of leaving the economic status quo behind, becoming a self-made entrepreneur, which culminated in the creation of Paleo f(x). Norris is an outspoken health evangelist, passionate speaker and guiding light to those seeking deliverance from a broken economic and health-care system. paleofx.com
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ADVENTURE GIRL
ALL REVVED UP
Twenty harrowing turns make for an exhilarating day on two wheels. BY NIKI JONES
Photo courtesy of Hart Photography & Graphics.
It’s not a matter of if you’re going to wreck; it’s a matter of when. I’ve never forgotten those words a local police officer told me in 2005 when I began motorcycle riding. He continued to tell me I was crazy to ride a motorcycle in Austin, and that was back before everyone was distractedly driving as they checked their smartphones. I’m lucky enough to have ridden unscathed for the past 14 years, but I will admit I’m very much a fair-weather rider. I don’t ride when it’s too hot, too cold, too dark, wet or during hours when there is a high volume of traffic on the road. Regardless, the cop’s words of warning echo in my head every single time I get on my bike.
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Photo courtesy of Niki Jones.
Mitigating the risk of being injured—or worse— comes down to two things: situational awareness and skill. Avoiding a situation that can go sideways is the surest way to stay safe on the road, but should you find it impossible to avoid an accident, skill is your strongest asset. That’s why I decided to finally take a course I’ve been wanting to take for years: RideSmart Motorcycle School’s track day. RideSmart has been teaching riders to “ride in control” for years and hosts track days at various locations throughout Texas. I figured if I were to do it, I should go big, so I signed up for track day at Circuit of the Americas. Preparing for track day started at least a week prior. I needed to make sure I had all the items on the handy 57-point checklist the school provided. Then came the laborious task of prepping my Suzuki SV650S to adhere to the gear-and-bike requirements list. This included, among other things, disabling brake lights, removing side mirrors and the license plate and taping over headlights, taillights and all reflective surfaces. (Brake lights can cause a distraction to other riders, and taping surfaces prevents debris from being strewn across the track in the event of a crash.) I wasn’t sure my well-worn street tires were going to cut it on the COTA track, so I replaced them with a brand-new set of street/track hybrids. As track day loomed ever closer, I got incrementally more nervous, but RideSmart Owner Dave Wonders assured me these feelings were normal for a first-time track-day participant. I made sure to get plenty of sleep the night before so I’d be sharp and alert; arrival time at the track was scheduled for 6 a.m. When I woke up the morning of track day, I looked out the window and saw a thick curtain of fog accompanying a steady rain. My worst-case weather scenario was happening. Since RideSmart’s policy is “ride rain or shine,” I had no choice but to buck up. Pulling into the paddock area of Circuit of the Americas, I was floored by how many campers and trailers with bikes were set up; the entire paddock parking lot was full of them. I opted for a garage space (available for an extra fee), so after I unloaded my bike from the trailer and rode it over to the bikeinspection station, I found my assigned garage space directly on pit road, making the track effortlessly accessible, and began to set up. After check-in and an orientation, we split up into our levels for classroom time. RideSmart’s track day is for riders with a minimum of 5,000 street miles, but anyone participating in track day for the first time must begin at level 1.0, no matter what his or her skill level may be. The first thing we learned about the COTA track is that it is treacherous when wet, a fitting lesson considering the day’s ruthless weather. Our instructors told us to exercise extreme caution when navigating around the turns—all 20 of them, including the first turn, Turn 1, a sharp left set atop a 133-foot hill. The COTA track, which hosts prestigious international events such as Formula 1 and Moto GP, is a 3.4mile circuit and has 11 left turns and nine right turns, a few of which are infamously tight hairpins.
As I listened to the near-deafening sound of level 3 riders (RideSmart’s most advanced level) rev up and take off on the track below our classroom, my nerves got the best of me. I feverishly took notes as my instructors detailed how to ride the track, specifically how and where to hit the turn apexes to minimize the time it takes to cover the distance; this is called riding the line. On dry days, X’s mark these points as a visual guide, but because the water on the track wouldn’t allow the X’s to stick, we had to go without the visual signs. This raised my anxiety level to an all-time high. After completing the class and heading back in the garage, my anticipation and fear built at a rapid pace as I heard the 10-minute call over the PA, then the fiveminute call and finally, the scariest words ever: “Level 1 to the grid!” I had no idea what awaited me at the COTA’s ominous 20 turns. For all I knew, the surface of the track would be as slick as an ice-skating rink. Suited up and feeling unfamiliarly constricted in my leathers (which I had borrowed from a girlfriend and had never ridden in), I got on my bike. My panic was undeniable and my terror was palpable. I put the bike in gear and slowly rolled
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“”
While other groups of eight riders were on the track at the same time, we were staggered, so when I lost my group, I was the only one on that section of track, and it was suddenly awesome. The pressure to keep up faded and I could take Maclaine’s advice to “ride my ride.” It was wet, but I didn’t feel my bike slip at all. Sweaty and exhilarated with a big smile on my face, I rolled back down to pit road and into my garage. Back in the classroom, we further discussed the turns and desired body position and reviewed our rides. I returned to the garage to prepare for the next session. My anxiety level decreased slightly when I discovered we had the option to ride behind an instructor in groups of three. Students who opted for this (many didn’t) were outfitted with brightly colored jerseys to wear over our leathers so it was clear to other riders which group we were with
Photo courtesy of Circuit of the Americas.
Ride your ride and don’t worry about anyone else.
down pit road, my heart beating hard and fast, and all outside sight and sound disappearing around me as I approached the grid ahead. I joined the rest of the riders, stacking up in single-file lines of eight, each group following an instructor. This was meant to get riders familiar with the track and learn the line by riding in the exact path of the instructor in a round-robin format for the 20-minute session. My instructor, Maclaine, one of the few female teachers at RideSmart, imparted to me these wise words before we hit the track: “If you lose me, just keep going. Ride your ride and don’t worry about anyone else.” I was last in the group and fell behind but kept up for the first couple laps—until I lost my pack after taking the straightaway before hairpin Turn 11 more slowly than I had on the previous lap, having over-anticipated that turn, one of the many ways I continued to psych myself out.
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WOMEN WHO RIDE According to a 2018 study by the Motorcycle Industry Council, women comprise 19 percent of motorcycle owners in the U.S., compared with less than 10 percent about a decade ago.
she should just go out with her other two students. Moments later, Maclaine appeared in front of me with her hands on her hips. “Unacceptable,” she said, adding that she would ride with just me, the first lap with her in the lead, the next with me leading her. Riding alone with Maclaine was fun. She kept up with my pace from ahead while I followed her lines. And I trusted she wouldn’t put me in the path of anyone behind me. Once it was time to switch and she was behind me, I was so afraid of making a mistake with my lines, I took the whole track extra-slow, but Maclaine graciously followed and I had a lot of fun. Wanting to end on a high note, and giving myself a mental high-five for having not wrecked, I decided to call it a day. Riding, at least for me, is very much a mental exercise. My day conquering a formidable world-class track has undoubtedly made me a better street rider. And the next time I’m out riding on the streets and the conditions are less than optimal, I’ll remind myself: I rode COTA—while it was wet!
Photo courtesy of Hart Photography & Graphics.
and that we were novices. Again, I got behind Maclaine and followed her line. The other two riders in my group of three were in level 1.5, so they were more advanced than I, or at least they’d taken the RideSmart course before, so eventually, their speed exceeded my ability to keep up and I happily found myself navigating the track on my own terms again, smoothly and at a speed with which I was comfortable. The day continued with more classroom lessons followed by riding sessions. Amazingly, halfway through the day, the sun came out and the track began to dry, which did wonders for my state of mind. But then I learned the following session would allow passing on turns, a development that completely freaked me out. I didn’t feel confident enough in my riding skills on that track to stay out of other riders’ way. And while I was pretty sure I had memorized the correct lines and apexes, I didn’t want to get it wrong, especially if someone was trying to pass me. Fully freaked out, I texted Maclaine from my garage, telling her I didn’t think I’d be able to keep up and
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MAKE ROOM
After moving to Austin in 2017,
UNDER THE STARS
Whitney Zeller shares the transformation of her son’s cookiecutter bedroom into an adorable campingthemed space.
To include her kids in the process, Zeller painted and picked décor with them. Her argument-saving tip to other parents in similar situations is to offer kids specific choices. Instead of giving them their choice of all the paint colors, she let them choose between a few preapproved picks. For her 4-year-old son’s room, Zeller chose a “camping eclectic theme.” With whimsical wallpaper, nature-themed bedding and an area rug, the room is now the perfect little-boy space. And that boring beige is long gone. She slowly collected and pieced together the room herself, even hand-folding the lustrous paper airplanes that decorate his walls in a 3D collage above the closet. “A beautiful home doesn’t mean a million dollars,” Zeller says. “It’s a space that has been well-thought-out and crafted to fit the family that lives there.” Follow Zeller’s home renovations on Instagram at @creatinghomewithwhit.
Photos courtesy of Whitney Zeller.
BY COURTNEY RUNN
Whitney Zeller faced a common dilemma: The only houses in her budget were of the cookie-cutter variety, beige and deep in the suburbs. “There was nothing different from one home to the next home and, in fact, along the way, I had cried,” she says. “I had said, ‘Oh, I don’t want to live in any of these houses.’ ” Her husband suggested choosing a neighborhood and layout they loved, picking the most affordable option then redesigning the space themselves. The couple found a house in Round Rock, Texas, that had been on the market for more than a year. Crayon marked the door, weeds covered the yard and it smelled, but Zeller knew with a little DIYing, it could become a home. “We like to always make our kids feel comfy first because they’re the ones that have to go through the biggest changes,” Zeller says.
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Photo courtesy of Whitney Zeller.
QUALITY, TURN-KEY SERVICE MAKES COE CONCEPTS A SUCCESS IN CONSTRUCTION
91%
The U.S. Bureau of Labor estimates that 91% of the construction labor force are men. Gina Esteves of COE Concepts is challenging that stereotype — and thriving in business.
In East Austin not far off Riverside Drive, Oracle is in the process of building a new campus that’s nearly half a million square feet. Right in the middle of that job site is Gina Esteves, who owns COE Concepts, a construction company that provides turn-key services to builders. Gina’s keen eye for logistics and creativity come from a leadership style based on getting results. She knows that if you ask her for something on a job site, she’s going to find a solution. “COE Concepts has been able to stand out because we offer quality services to our customers,” Esteves said. “When you use our business, you don’t have to go out to bid with other businesses because we’re a one-stop shop.”
Esteves strongly encourages women to enter the construction field
Named after Esteves’ daughter — Catarina Olivia Esteves — COE Concepts offers services such as barriers, traffic control, walkways, and fencing. However, Esteves doesn’t let just those services define her scope of work. She chooses companies with similar values to help complete her business goals, with Texas Disposal Systems being a frequent collaborator on her projects. TDS provides roll-off dumpsters, portable restrooms, source separation of materials, concrete recycling and a variety of other services for Esteves and customers like her. Similar to COE Concepts, TDS is locally owned and operated, providing turn-key services in a noticeably different, noticeably better way for more than 40 years.
“A partner like Texas Disposal Systems is one of the big ways that COE Concepts has been successful,” Esteves said. “They are there when we need assistance, and we’ve always had fantastic customer service from them.” As COE Concepts continues to grow, Esteves strongly encourages women to enter the construction field, particularly with the amount of resources that are available through the City of Austin and mentorship programs through the University of Texas System. She said the programs elevated her to reaching her goals as a businesswoman, and believes it can raise up other future leaders in construction as well. “I say go for it!” Esteves said. “Who knows? Maybe my daughter will take over the company one day too.”
For more information about the services and products that Texas Disposal Systems offers, visit them at TexasDisposal.com.
TexasDisposal.com | 800-375-8375
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BROOKLYN DECKER: SPARKING
JOY
The actress, entrepreneur, philanthropist and mother shares her journey to find and spread joy in everything she does. BY HANNAH J. PHILLIPS PHOTOS BY KRISTEN KILPATRICK
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When you’ve only seen someone on-screen or in the pages of a magazine, there’s a natural temptation to assign a persona before meeting face to face. When that someone is Brooklyn Decker—model, actress, philanthropist, entrepreneur and wife of former No. 1 tennis player Andy Roddick—the imagination skews toward the superhuman. There’s almost no way one woman could be each of those things and still be human, right? In person, the only discernable hint of otherworldliness in Decker is a radiating, contagious kindness. Some might be starstruck, especially upon discovering she is even more stunning in the flesh. Instead, Decker emits a warmth that makes her feel immediately familiar, and not just because she stars in the wildly popular Netflix series Grace and Frankie. Upon first impression, she displays an instant and genuine desire to connect, interacting like she’s known others for years. Tracing her journey from model to actress, entrepreneur and mother, Decker weaves the unifying thread of joy, sharing how she seeks it in simplicity and in the unexpected, following it and spreading it in every endeavor.
FINDING JOY Growing up in Matthews, N.C., Decker credits her parents for modeling joy to her from an early age. As a child, she was not only allowed but encouraged to be completely herself, an ethos she seeks to replicate for her own kids. “We lived in a tiny rental for the first 13 years of my childhood before my parents could afford to buy a home,” Decker says, “so we got outside and went camping any chance we could.” Decker still cherishes those memories when life feels overwhelming, channeling them now that she faces her own parenting challenges. She and Roddick have a son and a daughter, Hank and Stevie, who are 4 and 2 years old, respectively. On their first family camping trip last fall, Decker delighted in sharing similar outdoor experiences with her kids she had growing up. “There can sometimes be so little room for kids to have unstructured fun,” she says, “so it was magic to say, ‘You’re in the woods. Go make your own fun!’ ” As a mother, she relishes opportunities to help her kids depart from the routine and express themselves—even if that gets a little messy, as things often do with toddlers. When her daughter recently colored on the new kitchen island—orange crayon on matte white paint—Decker decided to make the most of the mishap, converting the counter into a creative canvas. “Don’t get me wrong,” she says with a laugh. “We are major rule followers, but some day when they’re older, we’ll paint over that and cry while we remember how they used to color in the kitchen. At some point, you have to decide not to totally ruin kids with adult rules. Because I had so much joy growing up, it’s easy for me to tap into that when it gets really hard and remember that parenting can be really fun.” Her grasp on the fleeting timeline of childhood may come from her experience modeling by the age of 16 and moving to New York City by 18. Discovered in a shopping mall in Charlotte, N.C., Decker experienced a skyrocketing career within a few years, culminating in a feature in Sports Illustrated in 2006. By 2010, she graced the cover of the popular magazine.
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FOLLOWING JOY Between modeling gigs, Decker developed a passion for acting. With all her friends in school, Decker felt like she was missing out on college life. When her manager suggested studying acting, she fell in love with the plays of Tennessee Williams, mesmerized by his beautiful writing. Before long, she was auditioning for roles, playing small parts like an extra in The Devil Wears Prada before eventually landing a female lead in the Adam Sandler flick Just Go With It in 2011. The next year, she starred in Battleship, followed by What to Expect When You’re Expecting.
“As soon as I got three movies in a row, I walked away from modeling. Arguably at the height of my career, I told my agency that I was going to focus all my efforts on acting,” Decker says. “The more I was exposed to it, the more I developed a deep love and passion for it.” Her decision to follow joy in acting led to her current role in Grace and Frankie, beginning in 2015. A comedy about navigating the ups and downs of modern love, the show traces the journey of two women (Jane Fonda and Lily Tomlin) who are forced to start over in their 70s after discovering that their husbands of 40 years are having an affair together. Acting alongside Fonda and Tomlin, Decker considers the show a master class in the craft. “They both have totally different approaches but they come at it with true joy, and it’s amazing to see two people with such different styles converge
so seamlessly,” Decker says. “For me, it shows there are more paths to take, and it’s an absolute privilege.” With a sixth season premiering this month and the seventh (and final) season currently in production, the sitcom recently made history as the longest-running Netflix original. Decker portrays Fonda’s daughter, a married woman who seems to have it all together before her life falls apart. “I was drawn to the idea of playing a woman unravelling,” Decker says. “My character has never had a problem in her life before realizing she’s unhappy in her marriage. It’s done in a really lighthearted way, which has been fun to play as I go through the personal change of having my own kids.”
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NURTURING JOY Decker gave birth to her firstborn while filming the first season of Grace and Frankie, initiating another seismic shift in her pursuit of joy. “Without question, becoming a parent has had the biggest impact on my life,” she says. “It turns your life upside down in the best way. It creates anxiety that never existed before. You’re suddenly so aware of your mortality and what you’re leaving behind.” With the show’s busy filming schedule, Decker confesses she battles mom guilt, regardless of whether she’s with her kids, and she doesn’t gloss over the support she welcomes from a full-time nanny and from her husband. Roddick retired from tennis in 2012 but still travels for charity events, and the two try to split parenting roles evenly, often calling through FaceTime to celebrate proud moments with their kids. Perhaps more amazing than having two kids while filming a TV series is the fact that Decker co-founded a company, raised capital and sold the brand within the same time frame. Making the virtual wardrobe from the film Clueless a reality, the Finery app aggregated online purchases for a completely digitized closet. Decker conceived of the idea with her co-founder and CNN anchor Whitney Casey as a solution to stressful sartorial decisions surrounding busy schedules. “We would text each other pictures of our outfits before auditions and interviews,” Decker says. “And we just thought, ‘Wouldn’t it be awesome if I could send you a link to my wardrobe and you could send me a link back?’ ” During their research, Decker and Casey discovered women spend the equivalent of two years of their lives deciding what to wear. Astounded, the pair decided to leverage technology to help women be more productive. They refused to let a lack of industry background block their entry into the market, offsetting the deficit with extensive research and great hires. The company launched in beta with 30,000 users in 2017, and Decker recounts the stress of fundraising throughout her second pregnancy. With firm instructions from her doctor to be back in Austin three weeks before her due date, she returned from an investment meeting at 2 a.m. on day 21.
“”
There’s a scary excitement to entrepreneurship that gets you out of your comfort zone.
“Looking back, I do sometimes wonder what I was thinking,” she admits. “But when you’re doing something you love and you enjoy learning, there’s an excitement and energy that keeps you going.” Just two years later, the pair sold Finery to Stitch Fix. Decker and Casey had looked for a partner company to grow the technology but were committed to finding another female-led company since the app is so intimately tied to women’s wardrobes. As the youngest female founder ever to lead an IPO, Stitch Fix CEO Katrina Lake presented the perfect fit. Decker equates the sale to sending a child off to college: a bittersweet mixture of pride, relief and nostalgia. “Anyone who’s raised money while raising two children—especially while doing a full-time job—wants to see that company grow,” Decker says, confiding in the same breath that she also enjoys the step back from a hectic schedule. “There’s a scary excitement to entrepreneurship that gets you out of your comfort zone, so I am definitely interested in doing it again.”
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INVESTING IN JOY For now, Decker satiates her love of learning with a focus on investing in other female-led and female-focused companies. As an investor, she enjoys sharing the energy of a startup without the 24/7 demands. Summarizing the link between Finery and her current investments, she connects them all as lifelines for women. Where Finery acted as a sidekick for the closet, each of her current partnerships is with a brand that represents or supports women. The companies range from local favorites like Tiff’s Treats (Decker and Roddick recently helped the cookie-delivery service expand in North Carolina) to Argent, a brand featuring functional pantsuits for women that include pockets. Decker discovered the brand through the Emmy-nominated costume designer on set at Grace and Frankie, which is also how she learned about The Jane Club, a business that’s also backed by Decker’s co-star June Diane Raphael. Started in Chicago and based in Los Angeles, The Jane Club provides a co-working space for women that includes child care, a need Decker perceived while building her own company. “At Finery, we had so many women working for the company,” she says. “So, to create a space where women can come and feel supported and have a bigger voice is really important to me.” One of her most recent partnerships is with Bodily, a platform providing education and postnatal care for mothers and their communities. After delivering her children, Decker felt blindsided by the long process of postpartum recovery. “No one told me that golf-ball-sized blood clots were going to come out of me,” she says with an unapologetic laugh, “and it’s shocking how much information is message-board-based.” Inspired by her own experience, she started making hospital care packages as baby-shower gifts for pregnant friends. One friend’s husband, also an investor, connected her to the CEO of Bodily, and it was a meeting of minds. “I love how all of these companies are female-founded or working to solve everyday problems for women,” Decker says. “I’m a person who definitely likes to stay busy, and I think investment is satiating that desire to start something new.”
SPREADING JOY Decker’s investments are also fueled by a new-found focus on future generations, which she attributes to becoming a parent. “I think I was always aware of environmental issues,” she says, “but I am much more concerned about what the future holds for my children. There is something about motherhood that has fueled my desire to advocate, speak out and get loud on their behalf.” Inspired by her Grace and Frankie co-star, Decker joined Fonda for a Fire Drill Friday in 2019. Prioritizing education, the weekly event starts with a moderated panel before an organized act of civil disobedience. “Everything is done civilly and peacefully,” says Decker, who shared a few words before the event but did not engage in the protest. “The No. 1 goal is to keep people talking. Noise is important but the education piece doesn’t get as much attention, so I asked Jane what I could do to add volume.” Locally, Decker supports education through promoting her husband’s now 20-year-old foundation, which provides after-school and summer programs for communities in East Austin. Roddick started the nonprofit to serve children being left behind by Austin’s economic boom. Decker loves the mission to inspire and educate through enrichment, noting the influence of exposure to the arts in her own career. “My interest in acting only developed because I was exposed to it,” she says. “How does a kid know he wants to become a chef or a potter if he never gets to try those things?” As for her own kids, Decker hopes to leave the same legacy of joy she inherited from her parents. When she returns from a trip, her husband calls her a Tasmanian devil; she throws on music and starts dance parties, swinging the kids around in circles. “I think I bring a wild energy, but it’s a chaos that connects and supports and brings joy,” Decker says. “Ultimately, I try to be a person who shows up, whether as a mom or friend, investor or supporting cast member. I’m not always present, but I want to be a lifeline when you need it most.”
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BROOKLYN DECKER’S TIPS FOR NEW MOMS AND THOSE CARING FOR THEM For friends and family: “The best thing you can do is save time. Do the dishes. Take care of things around the house so that she has nothing else to worry about but the baby.” For moms: “Take time for yourself. Stay-at-home moms have the hardest jobs in the country because it’s unpaid labor and it’s not given the credit it deserves. I think the healthiest thing a mom can do is escape the chaos of the house, reconnect with adults and remember that you’re more than a food machine or study buddy or all the consuming roles you play as a mom.” How to manage stress in the moment: “Sometimes, when I’m exhausted but my kids are wired, I’ll put on wild music and we’ll dance to Taylor Swift. It lifts our mood and gets all the energy out together. So, we turn a moment of chaos into something that fuels us instead.”
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THE MOTHER LODE
Three ambitious and trailblazing Central Texas mompreneurs balance the duties of raising children while also raising successful, innovative—and entirely family-friendly—businesses. BY BRIANNA CALERI PHOTOS BY TAYLOR PRINSEN
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M
oms in 2020 know they don’t have to choose between work and family. But that doesn’t make it any easier to leave loved ones at home to pursue the hectic life of a startup. One survey conducted by Womenable and American Express Open found 80 percent of moms in the U.S. who start a business do so after their first child is born. Forty-four percent said they sometimes feel guilty about their entrepreneurship. Balancing raising a brand and kids simultaneously may mean admitting these acts are not so different. It seems moms are particularly well-suited to start businesses. Moms have to be resourceful, finding solutions to unglamorous problems like managing reproductive health while pregnant, getting a moment of peace and quiet on the phone or finding an outfit that matches in an unsorted laundry heap. They have to respond to issues as they arise and accept there are some problems they just can’t see coming. They have to be patient but know when to draw firm lines. They need to protect their own needs while providing for others. Most importantly, moms have learned they need to stick together. These three moms founded a maternity and postpartum athleticwear company, a family co-working space and a children’s clothing brand, all with a focus on supporting parents so they can support each other.
GROWING TOGETHER: ANOOK ATHLETICS We’ve all heard of mom jeans, but where can Mom get a good pair of mid-rise athletic leggings she can wear through her entire pregnancy and postpartum duration? The answer comes not in the form of magic but from a performance fabric known as power mesh. Allie Lindenmuth, a prenatal yoga teacher, thought being pregnant would be easy. She already knew how to take care of a pregnant body, thanks to her chosen occupation. But the transition was harder than she thought. Maternity wear should have been the least of her worries, but she was still teaching 16 classes a week and wanted to be comfortable while looking and feeling like herself. She bought larger sizes in her favorite nonmaternity clothing brands, but knowing that kind of investment isn’t worth it, she had to find a better way. “I wanted it to be something where you could wear it forever,” Lindenmuth says, “and it just happened to grow with you.” With that idea in mind, Anook Athletics was born. A high-end activewear company that makes durable clothes than can stretch from week four of pregnancy to week 40 and shrink back down during postpartum, Anook Athletics blends innovation with fashion and comfort. With a name derived from a word meaning “grace,” Anook Athletics provides moms with sensible yet attractive clothing that enables “all women to feel empowered to support their bodies physically, mentally and spiritually.” The momdriven team Lindenmuth gathered with athletic-wear backgrounds from throughout the United States has built smart clothes that address more than just getting bigger. To make room for a pregnant belly, Anook garments stretch dramatically, but the power mesh also provides compression to lift. Keeping in mind the extra fluid in a pregnant woman’s body makes her more susceptible to yeast infections and UTIs, the pants feature wide gussets (the diamond-shaped piece of fabric in the crotch) for ventilation, as well as an antimicrobial lining. The nursing bras and tanks take style into account, with slimmed-down straps and clips concealed under a tiny fabric sleeve so the wearer doesn’t have to advertise she’s lactating. “We want our company to work with the female body,” Lindenmuth explains, “as opposed to having women try to fit into our product. We want to fit around them.” She extends the same attitude to her life. Now pregnant with her second child, Lindenmuth isn’t trying to fit into her old yoga practice. She uses blocks to support her body and makes sure she doesn’t sink too far into deep stretches. Nor is she pushing too hard to release her second Anook Athletics collection. Worried about launching it two weeks after her due date in March, she decided to move the release to June and let the team relax a little. As a new businesswoman, Lindenmuth wonders who is applying such pressure anyway. “Besides us?” she asks.
ALLIE LINDENMUTH: ON MOMPRENEURSHIP On how her child sees her business: “He’s really excited. He’s too young to understand what we’re creating. But I think he’s proud. I think he can see that Mommy’s doing something different.” On where she gets support: “My husband is the one who really pushed this. I [also] have a little group of mom entrepreneurs, which is honestly really hard to find. They’ve been really supportive in bouncing ideas off of each other.” On who will benefit from her legacy: “I hope both of [my children] benefit in the sense that they know their mommy was trying to do something that didn’t exist...and hopefully that empowers them to not only support themselves, but support women.”
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A COMMUNITY OF SIMPLIFIED PARENTHOOD: POPPY One Austin mom at Poppy, a family-centered co-working space, visited during the holiday season simply for a little peace and quiet while doing her Christmas shopping. Some parents come in to knock out work tasks while their kids are engaged in the playroom and some come in without their kids to enjoy a glass of wine together. That’s what Poppy is really for: providing space for moms to do important work, whether for their paying jobs or for the self-care necessary to keep parents thriving. Mandee Klenk, a pediatric occupational therapist who traveled often, started realizing how expensive her nanny was and how inconvenient it was to have a family in so many different places throughout the day. Her husband had used co-working spaces when working with startups but saw they weren’t kid-friendly. The couple decided to open a co-working space for families that would provide an enriching environment for children. That way, adults could get their own business done without, as Klenk calls it, “parent guilt.” Klenk even hired her trusted sitter, Nerrlie Jaramillo, as Poppy’s in-house child-development specialist. It turns out, Klenk realized, there’s a lot that being a mom could teach her about business. She learned to multitask, to plan her schedule minute by minute and to adapt when that plan inevitably goes awry. Kids and business both test her resiliency, but they demand two very different kinds of patience. Sometimes she has to send her kids away so she can run the space, giving herself the same consideration she would give any one of her clients who rely on her. “What I’m like as a parent here versus a parent at home is completely different,” Klenk says, “but it works for us on both sides.” Keeping those situational needs in mind, Klenk meets with parents entering Poppy in order to set goals for their children and plan out mindfully spent time. For families working at home, going to the dentist, traveling by plane or spending time in any other mind-numbing place for a child, Klenk recommends being prepared with age-appropriate activities that provide sensory feedback or develop motor skills and problem-solving. It’s equally important parents treat themselves to some enrichment too. Klenk emphasizes that setting aside personal time takes self-discipline and raising kids really does take a village. Whether that village is family, friends, specialists or co-workers, those in a healthy community ask each other for help. That community raises happy and confident kids.
MANDEE KLENK: ON MOMPRENEURSHIP On how her children see her business: “They went through phases like, ‘This is boring.’ But they really came to believe and love it. They often say, ‘Why can’t we just live at Poppy? Can we sleep at Poppy?’ ” On where she gets support: “My family, for sure, our community, my friends. It’s kind of funny; you figure out who’s your true friend when you go through the hard time. My friends are members here now and we can relate here.” On who will benefit from her legacy: “We’re just going to start out small now to support the Austin community, give back a little bit. We hope companies catch on to seeing that parents can be so much more productive when they’re in the right mindset.”
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KID STUFF: JUNE & JANUARY Amy Richardson is raising a public-relations superstar. During the Halloween season, she took her 8-year-old son, Eli, to a trunk-or-treat event where they set up a booth for June & January, her children’s clothing brand focused on joyful basics. But Eli didn’t want to collect candy. He wanted to stay at the booth and present the brand. He gives tours at the office and even helped create a kids gift guide for the company. Richardson’s 4-year-old daughter is happier just to enjoy the fruits of her family’s labor and experiences a visceral need to pick her own clothes every day. This kind of brand loyalty is essential to the booming cult success of June & January. Parents love the bold colors and patterns, which all go together for easy outfit crafting in a rush or by lessfashionable family members. Plus, much of the clothing is gender-neutral, unencumbered by weird slogans and graphics. And kids love the tagless apparel because it’s comfortable. Richardson describes the products’ accessibility as a series of “happy accidents” but says the company is now intentional about being inclusive in its marketing. Parents say their sensorysensitive children won’t wear any other pants or that the bonnets work great with cochlear implants and the shoes fit with kids’ orthotics. Richardson made it a goal to listen to feedback and learn how to best represent an underserved customer base that doesn’t take the gesture for granted. She also sees value in exposing neurotypical kids to more diversity, so everyone wins. “If you want all customers to feel comfortable in your clothes, you need to represent all kinds of different customers,” Richardson says. All this accessibility did need to be reeled in as the company grew. Like any brand with a massive social-media following, June & January suffered very public criticism. Richardson started finding it difficult to tell who wanted to be friends and who wanted insider privileges. Then disaster struck. One day while driving with her children, she was shot in the leg by a stray bullet. The likely random accident prompted her to think more about safety and separating business and her personal life. (She fully recovered from the incident.) Still, Richardson deeply believes in the community of moms she’s accumulated and wants to continue a close relationship by bringing the community offline. She hosts fundraisers and social events designed to bring moms together in relatable and fun ways, sometimes as simple as enjoying pies and margaritas. Having a child, Richardson explains, “totally changes who you feel like you are as a person.” She wants to make sure moms don’t feel alone in that experience.
AMY RICHARDSON: ON MOMPRENEURSHIP On how her children see her business: “He’ll ask me, ‘Are you famous?’ He knows that the business kind of started because of him. Anytime we do an event, he asks, ‘Are they going to ask me for my autograph?’ ” On where she gets support: “I was working a regular 9-to-5 job for the first year, and when I came to [my husband] and was like, ‘Hey, I think I’m going to quit my very well-paying job to run this baby brand full time,’ he was super supportive.” On who will benefit from her legacy: “We try to be really diverse and representative in our marketing. I think that’s something that is really great for kids now, to see kids that look like them or kids that don’t look like them as sort of a learning experience.”
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RECIPE REVEAL
NOT YOUR MOM’S GIN AND TONIC
You might think you don’t like gin. Think again. BY COURTNEY RUNN
GINS FOR THE NON-GIN DRINKER If you like vodka, try old Tom gin. If you like whiskey, try Ransom old Tom gin or Tom Cat Gin. If you like tequila, try Pierde Almas mezcal-gin or Gracias a Dios agave gin. If you like mezcal, try Letherbee Autumnal Gin. If you like rum, try Bobby’s Schiedam Dry Gin. If you want to shop local, try Still Austin Whiskey Co. or Treaty Oak.
or have simply skimmed past it on the menu for years, Madeline Ridgway will change your mind. As the bar-program director of Arrive East Austin Hotel’s Gin Bar, Ridgway doesn’t claim gin as her favorite (“It’s like [picking] your favorite child,” she exclaims.), but the spirit intrigues her and she’s on a mission to find a gin for every Austinite. And with more than 90 varieties behind her counter, she’s well-equipped. If you’ve been turned off of gin, most likely you’ve been sipping London dry gin. The English first invented the concoction centuries ago as an attempt to riff off their Dutch neighbors’ juniper-flavored jenever. The result was a juniper-heavy drink that missed the intended mark. The English kept at their experiment, creating old Tom gin, a sweeter version of London dry gin. As jenever’s derivatives traveled the world, they only acquired more unique flavor profiles and regulations. Most American-produced gins are new-style gin—a loosely regulated variety with only one requirement: to include juniper—whereas Plymouth gin is highly regulated, only claiming the name if produced in Plymouth, England, with specific botanicals and water from the Dartmouth reservoir. Varied in form, gin has experienced waves of popularity, rising in the 19th century when a dryer palate reigned in the United States but losing its status after World War II introduced the country to vodka. Today, Ridgway laments that gin never quite recovered from vodka’s splashy debut. Opened last July, Gin Bar is her juniper soapbox. And she doesn’t just want to mix cocktails but explain them and help imbibers find the right flavor profile for their individual palates. “If you make these assumptions that you don’t like things, then you never learn what you do like,” she says. “You shut yourself off to a lot of experiences that could be awesome for you.” Before ordering a drink or stocking the bar cart, Ridgway hopes women will visit Gin Bar and ask for samples, explore flavors and engage with her instead of opting for a go-to drink order. For Ridgway, “gin is all about education,” and her class is always in session. 74 | AUSTIN WOMAN | JANUARY 2020
Photo by Mackenzie Smith Kelley.
If you swore off gin after a bad experience in college
The Daisy
GIN THREE WAYS The Aviation Ingredients 1 1/2 ounces Empress 1908 Gin
The Aviation
1/4 ounce Luxardo Maraschino 1/4 ounce simple syrup 3/4 ounce lemon juice Directions 1. Shake and strain the ingredients into a cocktail glass. 2. G arnish with a cherry.
Tom Collins
GIN PAIRINGS
GIN MIXERS FOR YOUR BAR CART
charcuterie
Fever-Tree Premium Indian Tonic Water
strong cheeses
flavored tonic
cucumber sandwiches
bitters
spicy food
fortified wines
seafood
Ingredients 1 1/2 ounces Hayman’s Old Tom Gin 3/4 ounce simple syrup 3/4 ounce lemon juice 2 ounces soda water Directions 1. Build the ingredients in a Collins glass with ice and give a quick stir. 2. Garnish with an orange and a cherry.
Photos by Mackenzie Smith Kelley.
The Daisy Ingredients 1 1/2 ounces Gracias a Dios Agave Gin 1/4 ounce yellow chartreuse 1/2 ounce agave syrup 3/4 ounce lemon juice Directions 1. Shake all ingredients with ice then strain the cocktail into a Nick and Nora glass. 2. G arnish with a lemon peel. ATXWOMAN.COM | 75
FOOD FOR THOUGHT
WHAT’S YOUR NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTION IN THE KITCHEN?
Here’s what’s cookin’ this month in the Austin culinary world. New in Town: Jeni’s Splendid Ice Creams Iconic Austin establishment Amy’s Ice Creams is getting some competition. Beloved ice-cream chain Jeni’s Splendid Ice Creams arrived at The Domain in November, featuring all the brand’s popular flavors, from the whimsical—cream puff, and peanut butter and jelly—to hometown heroes like Texas sheet cake.
“This coming year, I’d like to focus more on wellness and self-care. My day-to-day habits have certainly changed since moving to Austin, and I’d like to project that same emphasis on personal wellness to my team. Making more wholesome family meals and engaging in more constructive and healthy lifestyle choices will be a focus for our team in 2020!” — J o Chan, executive chef at Eberly
“Remembering to drink more water throughout the workday! It’s so easy to zone into what I’m doing. I forget to take care of myself, and drinking enough water every day is a good place to start.” — Anne Ng, executive pastry chef and owner of Bakery Lorraine
“Planning the opening of a restaurant around the start of the new year gives me the opportunity to set high standards for zero waste and sustainability in the kitchen from the start. I want to recycle everything and waste nothing in 2020. Having a garden on property is a major advantage and seems to be a fully functioning circle in my mind. With the in-house garden, I’m able to source fresh, organic ingredients and then recycle the compost in the garden to keep it lush.” —S usana Querejazu, executive pastry chef at Lutie’s Garden Restaurant, opening in the spring
Just Passing Through: Brooke Williamson
On Our Bookshelf: The Austin Playbook by Alex Reichek After years of sending her friends Austin recommendations, Alex Reichek compiled her favorite spots into one book. From the best bakeries and hot barbecue spots in town to bachelorette-weekend itineraries, The Austin Playbook is your guide to exploring Austin and entertaining your outof-town guests. The guide is also full of perks, including free workout classes, restaurant discounts and more. Austin Woman readers get 15 percent off using the code AUSTINWOMAN at checkout. 76 | AUSTIN WOMAN | JANUARY 2020
Calling all Top Chef fans! There’s a reunion happening this month between two of our favorite winners. Brooke Williamson is joining her TV co-star and real-life friend Kristen Kish at The Line Austin Jan. 20 for a special evening, but no one will be packing their knives at the end of this dinner. Kish will debut a new dinner series featuring chefs from throughout the country at her restaurant, Arlo Grey, and Williamson is kicking off the evening with a multi-course meal, wine pairings, a Champagne toast plus dessert. Watch atxwoman.com for our conversation with Williamson ahead of her Austin debut.
The Austin Playbook cover courtesy of Alex Reichek. Jo Chan photo courtesy of Jo Chan. Anne Ng photo by Misha Hettie. Susana Querejazu photo by Moyo Oyelola. Brooke Williamson photo courtesy of Nomadic Reverie.
WHAT’S COOKIN’
Sponsored Content
THE FACTS ABOUT
Wisdom - tooth Removal
Why do wisdom teeth need to be removed?
Wisdom teeth, or third molars, are the last teeth to develop. Eons ago, when our diets were much different and dental crowding was common, the third molars came in or “erupted” and provided another set of functional teeth. With today’s softer, non-abrasive diet and the relative rarity of dental crowding, most often, there is not enough room for the wisdom teeth to erupt into place and be functional teeth that can be maintained by the patient. This is what is meant by “impacted,” simply that the tooth is not able to come into a functional position. There are patients who have the space for wisdom teeth, and in these cases, the teeth may be functional and beneficial. In cases in which the wisdom teeth came in appropriately, it is common later in life to develop decay or gum disease around these teeth first. They are difficult for some to maintain and your dentist may suggest removal rather than a filling or crown if this happens.
Who would remove my wisdom teeth? While your family dentist may remove erupted or exposed wisdom teeth, many regular dentists do not. Furthermore, impacted wisdom teeth, more complex teeth concerns or higher-risk teeth will likely result in a referral to an oral surgeon. A visit with your dentist or a look at your X-rays would likely answer that question best. Most patients having multiple wisdom teeth removed at the same time prefer sedation rather than being awake. Oral surgeons have extensive hospital-based training in anesthesia to make this procedure pleasant and astonishingly safe. The facility is almost as important as the surgeon, and offices that are board-certified in oral surgery are inspected and certified for anesthesia safety by both the State of Texas and a surgery certifying board. Certification ensures the monitoring and safety equipment mirrors that of a hospital environment.
At what age should wisdom teeth be removed? In general, younger patients are at a very low risk, as the teeth are typically less difficult to remove. For this reason, the recovery is commonly smoother and faster. The best approach is to image and consult a dentist or oral surgeon at a young age, typically during the teenage years, so an assessment can be made about whether the wisdom teeth will likely ever need to be removed. If it is likely removal will be necessary, earlier surgery is generally easier and more predictable. This assessment might happen with your family dentist, orthodontist or directly with an oral surgeon.
What are the costs associated with wisdomtooth removal? Most insurance plans cover wisdom-tooth removal. At consultation, each wisdom tooth will be evaluated and coded depending on how it is positioned within the mouth and whether it is exposed or impacted. Likewise, anesthesia choices are usually discussed, and the level of sedation is agreed upon. The costs will vary depending on these factors, and your insurance coverage can generally be explored prior to the procedure. The best way to discover costs and insurance coverage, as well as discuss the procedure, is to set up a consultation visit with your provider.
Before you consider oral surgery for your family, call 512.591.9557 or visit austinoralsurgery.com.
A LEGACY OF EXCEPTIONAL CARE
WAITING ROOM
THE MOM TRAINER
Implement some postpartum protocol for a stronger, healthier you. BY JENNY HOFF
Rachel Lily Campbell was 30 years old when she finally started to love her body. After a lifetime of eating disorders and never feeling skinny enough, she never expected to look at her body in the mirror and see anything other than its flaws. Then she got pregnant. “It was literally my come-to-Jesus moment,” she says, wiping tears from her eyes as she recalls that day six years ago when she found out she was pregnant with her now 5-year-old son, Deuce. “I was on my knees and so amazed at what my body could do after so many years of abusing it.” Campbell says motherhood gave her back her life, so she’s now dedicating it to helping other moms regain the joy in theirs. “There is nothing better for me than to see the lightbulb moment with a mother who finally feels like she can be kind, move kind and speak kindly to her body,” she says. As owner of Fit4Mom Sunset Valley, Campbell believes fitness and health involve much more than a diet plan or a workout regimen. While she offers fitness classes ranging from workouts with babies to boot camps just for moms, as well as food guidance, she believes it’s having a fellow mom to lean on who is going through the same process that can really help a mom find the support she needs to strengthen her body, regain energy and get through the emotional highs and lows of parenting. “I only train moms,” she says. “When you give birth, everything changes. You’re losing blood and abdominal strength. Your posture and hips change. You are not sleeping as well. Your cortisol is lifting and you’re now lactating. You need to be supported in the right way. You need someone who understands moms and, in my opinion, is a mom and has been through the experience.” Campbell’s training focuses on food freedom versus food restriction, listening to your body and strengthening the areas that are impacted most through pregnancy. Since insulin resistance is common in women after pregnancy, she encourages moms to focus on whole foods with fat and protein instead of simple carbs to avoid spikes in blood sugar and latenight cravings. 78 | AUSTIN WOMAN | JANUARY 2020
“”
When you give birth, everything changes. “Insulin resistance is the No. 1 undervalued result of postpartum bodies,” she says. “It starts when we’re prenatal and can last for five to seven years postpartum. That’s why many women find what worked for them foodwise before doesn’t work for them now.” Dr. Christie Mileur, an OB-GYN with Austin ObGyn Associates in Central Austin, agrees specific food changes can help women get their bodies back into shape after pregnancy. “The core or belly area of your body is sensitive to weight gain through stress, pregnancy and carbohydrates,” she says. “Working to minimize stress and eating a low-carbohydrate diet will help.” Mileur agrees breastfeeding can also help with weight loss, but it doesn’t work for everyone. She also advises breastfeeding moms to avoid strenuous workouts and too much cardio so as not to compromise supply. When it comes to that postpartum pooch, weight is not always the culprit. Many women experience diastasis recti (a separation of the abdominal muscles) after giving birth. Mileur says it’s important not to exacerbate the condition with certain exercises, like crunches, that may tighten the muscles but keep them separated. “I recommend you work on your obliques. That will help bring those muscles back together in the middle,” she says. “If that doesn’t work, physical therapy can help.” Issues like diastasis recti, hormone changes, heightened stress and lack of sleep are why Campbell believes it’s important for moms to train with an expert on postpartum weight loss and strength building. While diet and exercise are crucial for regaining energy, shedding extra fat, regaining balance and core strength, she says it’s community that gives moms the much-needed emotional support to handle the stress and anxiety. “My tagline is: Come for the exercise, stay for the mom tribe,” Campbell says. “We have weekly play dates, get-togethers for every single holiday, moms’ night out and charity drives throughout the year. We are in this together.”
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Photo courtesy of theantman.co.
HER ROUTINE
SOCCER MOM
Soccer star Jackie Pope inspires young athletes to kick hard and dream big. BY GRETCHEN M. SANDERS
cardio-based, and I don’t lift much weight. My muscles come from the game, from sprinting, striking the ball and dribbling. I don’t like doing the same workout over and over again. I want to shock my body. One day, I’ll do a long-distance run. The next day, I’ll do shuttle sprints, which help me practice cutting. I’ll set up five cones, sprint to the first one and back, then sprint to the second one and back, etc. Shuttle sprints are especially good for the position I play.” THE DIET:
5-month-old baby and she’s one of the best soccer players in Texas. The fleet-footed forward grew up dominating soccer fields in Austin and later played for the University of Tennessee and Southern Nazarene University in Bethany, Okla. She played professionally for the Portland Thorns FC and the Houston Aces and internationally for the Mexican national team, an opportunity that put her on the field during the 2006 World Cup in Russia. Today, Pope, 33, coaches at North Austin’s Lonestar Soccer Club, where she teaches girls ages 10 to 18 how to dribble and strike like Megan Rapinoe. “The majority of the girls I coach want to play for the [U.S.] national team, in a World Cup and professionally,” says Pope, who also plays for Lonestar’s semipro team in the Women’s Premier Soccer League. Here’s how this fierce forward keeps scoring goals. THE A.M.:
“I wake up at 7 a.m. and do cardio before I eat anything. That could be interval running for 20 to 30 minutes or a 3- to 4-mile run. Doing fasted cardio in the morning makes me feel and eat better throughout the day. I have breakfast after my run, usually yogurt with fruit and granola and always coffee.”
THE GEAR:
“Soccer gear is simple. All you need are cleats and shinguards. I prefer small shinguards that are less bulky. Nike sponsored me when I played professionally, and I still wear mostly Nike gear: Nike athletic shorts and long-sleeve tops and even a Nike headband. I coach in turf shoes, and I wear a team uniform from Nike during games. I wear long socks to hold my shinguards in place, and I get new cleats every season. A good pair can cost up to $300. I own lots of soccer balls. I probably have 20 to 30 in my attic.” THE MOTIVATION:
“My son and the girls I coach motivate me. I get to inspire them. I want them to see that you can do what you want as long as you want if you stay fit and take care of yourself. I’ve had a baby and I can still play semipro soccer.” THE MINDSET:
“You can always do more. If you’re not, then someone else is.”
THE WORKOUT:
THE P.M.:
“From May to August, I practice with my semipro team for two hours four evenings a week. I typically run 5 to 6 miles in one practice. When I coach, I run anywhere from 3 to 5 miles a night. We have games on weekends. Soccer is very
“I’m on a soccer field from 4 p.m. to 9 p.m. most nights of the week. When I get home, I put my baby to bed, eat a light dinner, fill the tub with ice and have a bath. I stretch and roll out my quads and hamstrings with a softball. Lights out at 10 p.m.”
80 | AUSTIN WOMAN | JANUARY 2020
Photo by Sam Wormald.
Jackie Pope is a bona fide soccer mom. She has a
“I try to eat healthy Sunday through Friday: lots of grilled chicken, vegetables and salmon. Saturday is my cheat day, when I enjoy myself. During soccer games, I might have a Clif Bar for energy and Gatorade for the electrolytes. I try to eat a good pre-game meal like pasta so I don’t have to eat much while I’m playing. I drink a lot of water when I’m off the field and stay away from energy drinks. I’d rather get my sugar from natural sources, fruit.”
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ON THE MONEY
YOUR 12-MONTH PLAN FOR FINANCIAL HEALTH
Make 2020 the year you get your finances in order. BY JENNY HOFF
There is nothing like the start of a new year— and, in this case, a new decade—to motivate us to finally make major changes in our lives, like getting our finances in order. The good news: Organizing your financial life doesn’t have to be done in a day or even a month. It can be done during the course of a year. But as New York Times correspondent and author of This is the Year I Put My Financial Life in Order, John Schwartz, realized, having a deadline is crucial to completing this task. “Procrastination is a very fretful state,” he says. “You worry about whether you’ve done enough and it just sort of hangs on you like a weight on your shoulders. Once you start taking care of the chunks, you feel that lift and it’s a great feeling.” If you’re ready to get your financial life in order, check out this month-by-month guide to getting organized. January: Create a detailed budget and a separate savings account. Write down your take-home pay after taxes every month, along with your fixed costs, variable costs and investments. Make sure you aren’t spending more than you are taking in and adjust to put something away every month for emergency savings. Pro tip: Structure your budget so 20 percent of your earnings go into a savings plan. 82 | AUSTIN WOMAN | JANUARY 2020
February: Check your credit score and credit report. You can keep tabs on your credit score for free through a site like creditkarma.com, but you should also check your credit report once a year through annualcreditreport.com. Make sure you recognize all the accounts under your name and dispute anything that seems suspicious. March: Gather information on all your 401(k)s, stocks and other investments from previous jobs and roll it all into one plan or organize it in an easily accessible binder. April: Use an online retirement calculator from Vanguard or another investment firm to get an overview of your nest egg, expected future costs and your overall financial outlook for the future. May: Cancel unused subscriptions/ memberships. June: Renegotiate fixed costs. Check whether you could get a better mortgage interest rate or lower phone bills, cable bills, car insurance, car payments, etc. July: Contribute to a 529 savings plan if you have children. This taxsavings vehicle can be used to pay for college or even private school in the early years. If you don’t have children, check on any other tax-savings vehicles you could be contributing to, like a solo 401(k) for entrepreneurs, Roth IRA, etc. August: Create a will and trust. Update beneficiary information on all accounts and investments. September: Cancel cards, if necessary. If having multiple credit cards (or any at all) leads to overspending, cancel your newest cards first but keep your oldest account open (cut up the card if you have to) for credit-score purposes. October: Consider asking for a raise. Many companies make their salary decisions for the next year by Dec. 1.
“” Once you start taking care of the chunks, you feel that lift and it’s a great feeling. If you’re hoping for more than the standard percentage increase for next year, start initiating the conversation with your boss. November: Get adequate insurance. Open enrollment for health insurance is usually between Nov. 1 and Dec. 15. Make sure you have the right lifeinsurance policy for your family’s needs and disability insurance in case of an emergency. December: Organize your info, make copies and store it in a safe place. Now that you have all your investment information, your insurance-policy information, your will and other financial information, make copies of everything important (house title, car title, etc.), and organize the information by category in two big binders so in the event of an emergency, all your crucial information is easy to find. It’s a new year and these steps will get you on track to a new financial future. By knowing where you stand, preparing for emergencies and getting organized, you can start building wealth and a more secure future.
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FI V E T IPS FOR STAY ING WA R M IN YOU R CAR W HEN YOU R EA LLY HATE THE COLD BY CHELSEA BANCROFT
While we may not have to deal with as much ice and snow as our Northern neighbors, it still can get pretty darn cold here in Austin. One of the worst parts is having to sit in a freezing car, waiting for it to warm up. Use these tips to help stay warm in your vehicle this winter. Park in the garage.
Keep blankets in your car.
Do you hate having to sit in a freezing car? Parking in the garage is the best way to keep your vehicle from turning into an icebox overnight. Unfortunately, not all of us have a garage, so the next best bet is to cover your car. Keep in mind that if you put a cover over your entire car, you have to deal with taking it off outside in the cold. A cover just for your windshield might be a better solution. They stick on magnetically, help keep some heat in and protect your windshield from freezing over.
During the winter months, it’s a good idea to keep a couple of warm blankets in your car—especially in case of an emergency. Also, it sometimes takes a little longer for the back seat to heat up, so having a blanket available will be much appreciated by your passengers. I also like to keep an extra jacket and gloves in my car. I hope these tips help. From all of us at Roger Beasley Mazda, we wish you a safe and warm winter!
Use remote start.
Thank goodness for modern technology. Many vehicles now allow you to remote start your car and get it warming up before you even leave your house. If you don’t have this feature, unfortunately, there isn’t really a safe alternative. Never start your vehicle and leave it idling with the keys inside. It is one of the top reasons cars get stolen during the wintertime. And, of course, never remote start your vehicle if it is in the garage with the door closed. Carbon monoxide from the exhaust can fill your home and be deadly.
Invest in heated car seats and a heated steering wheel.
Heated car seats are a lifesaver in the winter. If you don’t have them, head to Amazon, which carries heated seat covers that plug right into your car—and they’re less than $50! Many new vehicles are now equipped with heated steering wheels as well. It makes a world of a difference on icy mornings when your hands are chilled to the bone. You can also purchase covers for your steering wheel that can help keep it warm.
Photo by Linnea Kay.
Bring a hot beverage.
Taking a hot cup of tea or coffee to go is another great way to stay warm in the car. Use a vacuum-sealed mug to keep drinks hot the whole drive. If you want to take it a step further, there are even heated travel mugs available that plug into your car’s power socket. Chelsea Bancroft is the strategic-partnerships and social-media manager at Roger Beasley Mazda and a blogger at onechelofanadventure.com.
ASK LUCY
BRINGING UP BABY
Here’s how to introduce pets to children. BY LUCY J. PHILLIPS
Dear Lucy, My human recently brought home a tiny, funnysmelling creature. It screams a lot, which makes me anxious, and it doesn’t know how to play fetch. Worst of all, my humans have been equally stressed and enamored ever since they brought it home, so I am not getting much attention. How can I help care for this human puppy and still get plenty of belly rubs? ~Jimmy the Jealous Jack Russell
Dear Jimmy,
Don’t jump to conclusions. In fact, it’s best not to jump at all. If you struggle to resist the urge to pummel humans with bouncy love, it’s time to learn to curb that impulse once and for all. A basic obedience class can help you brush up on this essential skill, along with commands like “sit,” “down” and “stay.” Each of these will help you develop a stronger bond with your humans, building trust on both sides. Once they trust you to approach calmly, you will likewise trust their invitations to sniff this small but noisy creature. Learn your place. If you don’t already have a “place” in the house, like a crate or soft pillow, work with your human to find a corner of the house that is all yours. Simply equipping yourself with the obedience to go there—and the patience to stay—will go a long way to relieving your human’s stress. Studies show having a place relieves our stress too. It teaches us to cope with our surroundings and helps us trust that our humans know how to handle stressful situations for us.
Like all interactions between dogs and humans, everyone is happier when we know the rules. One for you and two for me. With a baby comes fun toys for you, right? Wrong. It can be tempting to sniff all the soft new toys (especially the squeaky ones), but these irresistible products are apparently essential for human development and not for tearing apart. If you do give in to the temptation, your human should simply replace the baby toy with a dog toy rather than scold you. This ensures you don’t build negative associations with the baby’s smell. Stay positive. Humans can create positive associations with baby smells in advance by introducing products like lotions and powders to pups before the baby’s due date. Once the baby arrives, Cesar Millan, aka the dog whisperer, recommends bringing an item that contains the baby’s scent home from the hospital before introducing you to the baby. As your human gradually grants permission to you to approach, it teaches us that this new scent belongs to them and we need to respect the rules around it. Like all interactions between dogs and humans, everyone is happier when we know the rules. As you adjust to these new house guidelines, remember that with this new addition, you now have one more human to love, snuggle and protect. Hang in there! Puppy love,
Lucy
If you have a dog-related question for Lucy, reach out and follow her on Instagram @asklucydog.
84 | AUSTIN WOMAN | JANUARY 2020
Lucy photo courtesy of Hannah J. Phillips.
A new baby human in the house is both exciting and stressful. One day, we are king or queen of the castle and the next, we are suddenly always underfoot, asking for attention in the wrong way and at the wrong time. I can’t speak from personal experience, but I have seen Lady and the Tramp, the classic cautionary tale of why dogs should remain No. 1 in the pack. (By the way, my human is telling me that is not the moral of the story.) Since I seem to be a poor film critic, I did some digging on helpful websites like that of the American Kennel Club to gather some tips.
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POINT OF VIEW
How I choose to discipline my kids may impact their Hispanic identity and mine. BY SABRINA LABOEUF
Sitting on a worn-out couch in San Pablo Viejo, Panama, my greataunt, my mom and I watched a video called Signs You Grew Up With a Latina Mom. “Callate,” says the Latina mom in the video. Menacingly, she holds up a pink slipper, and all three of us burst into laughter. For us, it was more than a slipper. It was a chancleta, a common tool for spankings in Hispanic culture and a heralded symbol of Latinx childhood. Its popularity has earned it YouTube videos with millions of views and satirical listicles. For me, the chancleta and its appearance in the video was a bonding force between three generations of my family. In that moment, I felt like I was more than just the person sitting at the end of the couch. I was sitting at the possible end of a cultural lineage. I’m first-generation American, the daughter of a Cajun and a Panamanian immigrant, and I am proud of both sides of my heritage. But I’m only half Panamanian, and many people mistake me for being 100 percent American because I’m white. This often leaves me wondering about my personal identity, as well as what kind of identity my kids may have. More Hispanics are disregarding their identity as immigrant ties fade with time. According to the Pew Research Center, 77 percent of U.S.-born children of U.S.-born parents but immigrant grandparents selfidentify as Hispanic. This is a staggering difference from my generation, in which 92 percent self-identify as Hispanic. If I have children, I want them to feel proud of their Panamanian heritage. I want them to be able to watch the Signs You Grew Up With a Latina Mom video and laugh just the same. That would entail taking up my own chancleta and demanding respeto from my children. But I don’t have kids yet, and I don’t know if I even want to spank my kids. The 2018 American Academy of Pediatrics warning about spanking warned it can lead to aggression. The Journal of Pediatrics noted corporal punishment as a child can lead to dating violence during adult life. Beyond all possible side effects, my theoretical children will have the memory of me hitting them. I love my mom and how she raised me. I think her strict parenting is the reason I am disciplined and selfmotivated, but I do remember the times when I was spanked. Elizabeth Estrada, a Mexican mother who lives in Waco, Texas, didn’t want her kids to have that memory of her. Initially, she started raising her kids the way her family had raised her. Growing up in a family of 13 siblings, physical discipline made the most sense. When Estrada disciplined her kids, spanking was effective, but when her kids turned 5, she stopped. “I didn’t want them to think, ‘Oh, my mom hit me,’ ” Estrada says. “I didn’t want them to remember me like that.” 86 | AUSTIN WOMAN | JANUARY 2020
Photo courtesy of Marta LaBoeuf.
TO SPANK OR NOT TO SPANK
Austin Family Counseling Founder Lora Ferguson has similar memories of her own mother, despite not being Hispanic. After all, spanking isn’t exclusive to any specific race or ethnicity. According to a Pew Research Center survey of American parents, 14 percent of white parents, 19 percent of Hispanic parents and 32 percent of black parents use spanking as a form of discipline “often or sometimes.” Spanking is on the decline, though, with about 16 percent of parents using it “at least sometimes,” according to the Pew Research Center. Ferguson doesn’t use corporal punishment with her kids and instead utilizes positive discipline, a parenting model developed in the 1980s. Compared to corporal punishment, which produces a short-term result, this model looks at a child’s internal motivation. A common metaphor used in positive discipline is an iceberg. A behavior is represented by the piece of ice above the water while the rest of the iceberg represents the underlying reason for a behavior. Ferguson says behaviors can be addressed by developing a connection with your child to understand why he or she is acting in such a manner. This is followed by creating consequences that are respectful to the child. This excludes spanking, yelling and timeouts. “We want to come up with solutions that aren’t humiliating, that aren’t harmful to anybody, that are respectful but that are also firm,” Ferguson says. “A lot of times, people hear ‘positive discipline’ and they think you just let your kids get away with everything: ‘If I don’t spank them, they’re just going to think they got away with it.’ No, that’s not true.” Ferguson says spanking is becoming less effective as hierarchies in society diminish. She says previous examples of top-down power, such as whites overpowering minorities and men overpowering
“” women, were models for children to follow and obey while being overpowered by parents. With more racial and gender equality today, she says kids no longer have this model to follow, leading them to question obedience and compliance. “What’s modeled for them is not like Dad’s the boss, Mom does what he says, kids do what Mom and Dad say,” Ferguson says. “We’re not saying kids get to run the show and do whatever they want. … We all have a role. We all have a voice. We all help each other.” Licensed professional counselor Ana Cabezas immigrated to the United States from Ecuador and has been raising her son using positive discipline. Her goal, like mine, is to keep her son connected to his heritage, and she says positive discipline helps because of how it blends American nurturing and Hispanic firmness. But it’s not always easy. Cabezas was raised by strict parents who demanded perfection, so growing up, she swore she would never be mean or as demanding with her own kids. All of this changed when her son was born and she realized she was a perfectionist too. “I have to keep reminding myself that that’s what I come from,” Cabezas says. “I love my child. There’s goodness in that. So I’m able to now turn it around and see what I can rescue from it, and be able to share that with him.” Cabezas never wanted to default to corporal punishment, but she says there are days when she feels the urge to use the chancleta as a consequence for bad behavior. “I could feel my inheritance, my long lineage, coming out and wanting to grab that belt or the chancla or whatever I could find, or myself, and make sure that he learned the lesson,” Cabezas says, “but at the same time, having the awareness that that’s not what I want. Looking at his little face is like, ‘If I would have done it, he wouldn’t have understood why.’ ” Cabezas says had she raised her son in Ecuador, things would probably be different. In her home country, authoritarian parenting is still the norm: Parents say and children obey. In the United States, kids are more assertive nowadays, Ferguson says. One night, Cabezas says her son asked, “If you hit me, is that something I can call the police for?” My mom, Marta LeBoeuf, says once I started public school 15 years ago, I asked similar questions. “What is the line between spanking and abuse?” “What do I call the police for?” These questions were piqued by the informational videos they showed us at school. They wanted us to know what abuse looks like and how to identify it ourselves. The only part of the video I remember is the kids being taken away from their parents because of the bruises on their arms. My mom says if she had to raise a kid today, she would do things differently because of how society has changed its perception of spanking. Rather than being concerned with being a parent and raising a child, my mom says many American parents are too worried about being friends with their children. Angela Renfro, a teacher from Kyle, Texas, who was born and raised in Austin, initially tried spanking with her kids because that’s how she was raised. If needed, her father would spank her in a restaurant if she was being disrespectful. Her father was her parent, not her friend. “He didn’t hurt me,” Renfro says. “He hurt my feelings, which is what it should be. … But you can’t do that now because somebody will call Child Protective Services.” Renfro says moms are afraid to say whether they spank their kids because of judgment from other moms as well. “I think people are interesting and fascinating and weird and care a lot about what other people think,” Renfro says. “There’s a difference between spanking your kid and beating your kids, and I think people are afraid to tell other people that.”
What is the line between spanking and abuse? Renfro stopped spanking her kids when she found it was ineffective. With her oldest daughter, she attempted a dialoguebased approach that explained the behavior and why the consequence was being applied, similar to the positive-discipline model. She says this backfired because she raised a child who could out-argue her, and she had to undo it to step in as the parental authority again. When I was younger, I did the same thing to my mom. I had a hard time with accepting what my mom asked of me without prompting follow-up questions. If I asked why I needed to do something, it was because she said so, and that was that. But if I pushed the question further, we’d get into an argument and I’d get upset. “Quieres llorar? I’ll give you something to cry about,” my mom would say. This was a warning for a spanking as well as a classic Latina mom line quoted in the video we watched. We laughed about it too. My mom learned to say all the Latina mom phrases from her mom, my abuelita. Abuelita had learned them from her mom. If I want to continue the Panamanian culture with myself and my family, my mom says I should keep saying the same things. “Que tu crees? Que soy tu sirvienta?” “Te calmas o te calmo.” She doesn’t think parental discipline has anything to do with maintaining cultural norms and feeling a sense of Hispanic identity, while I think it can. My mom believes being Hispanic has more to do with feeling connected to the music, the traditions and the family. She says Hispanics live at home with their parents for as long as they can and they take care of their parents when they’re older. Americans, according to my mom, are more individualistic and aren’t as close to their extended family. In my mom’s eyes, I’m more American than Hispanic. “You want to be independent,” my mom says to me. She’s not wrong, but I do wish I were Hispanic enough to my mother to match my genetics at 50 percent. I speak Spanish and I love going to Panama to visit my family. Plus, I could eat empanadas and plantains for the rest of my life. However, I’m a product of two cultures coming together, and identity isn’t as clear-cut as genetic makeup. I wonder whether taking up the chancleta would make me feel or seem more Hispanic, but my mom says whether I do doesn’t affect how Hispanic I am. Instead, she simply says it is my choice to be Hispanic. And the same goes for my potential kids. Perhaps my children don’t have to relate to Signs You Grew Up With a Latina Mom to feel Hispanic. The Pew Research Center says it determines who is Hispanic by accepting “anyone who says they are and nobody who says they aren’t.” Relating to Hispanic media isn’t required to connect with the identity, although it would be nice to not be the last person on the couch. I just have to believe that I am Hispanic and be willing to share it, chancleta or no chancleta. ATXWOMAN.COM | 87
I AM AUSTIN WOMAN
Inspired by her own motherhood experience, Marsha Stephanson created a mom-centric business serving mothers during the postpartum journey.
I remember sitting in my favorite coffee shop in Austin, Bennu Coffee, taking in the sights and sounds of my new home. Growing up in North Texas, I took several trips with my grandparents down I-35 to visit either Austin or San Antonio, so I had become a little familiar with the area. After serving in the military, moving several places throughout the world and the country, my husband and I finally decided in 2015 that Austin would be our new home. As I sat at Bennu, I started to reflect. Perhaps it was because my son had just turned 1 year old, but for some reason, I began thinking about my pregnancy with him and my daughter, the before and after. I spent my entire pregnancy preparing for my baby to arrive but it never occurred to me to prepare for postpartum care. When I had my first baby, I remember leaving the hospital with a bag full of baby products and helpful resources for how to take care of my little one. We got home, got the baby settled and within a few hours, my body began to ache. I was swollen everywhere and leaking all over the place. I looked in the hospital bag to see what I should do to take care of myself. To my surprise and chagrin, the only thing I could find was a squirt bottle, adult diapers and some fishnet underwear! There were absolutely no instructions for how to care for myself, and I had absolutely no clue what to do. Two months in to my postpartum journey, I began to experience feelings of hopelessness, guilt, anxiety and simply not feeling worthy of being a mom. I was afraid to talk to anyone for fear of being judged for thoughts I was having. It was truly through prayer and taking daily walks alone that I started to feel better and confident in being a mom. I did not realize until years later that I had suffered through postpartum depression. Women of every culture, age, income level and race can develop perinatal mood and anxiety disorders. Symptoms can appear at any time during pregnancy and within the first 12 months after childbirth. It is often one of the most challenging times for new moms, especially if it is the first baby. Strangely, it seemed to me that no one wanted to talk about it. Where was the book about What to Expect Postpartum? 88 |  AUSTIN WOMAN |  JANUARY 2020
Marsha Stephanson
Photo by Marina Wanders.
CATERING TO MOMS
That very day at Bennu Coffee, I created a survey of questions I had regarding postpartum conditions and published it on Facebook. The response I received from so many moms was overwhelming. It was then I knew I was not alone and moms needed to be made aware of the postpartum resources available to them. It takes a village to raise a child. Motherhood is not meant to be done alone. Throughout history, mothers have typically had family and community support, both practical and emotional, while caring for their newborns and young children. Today, this is not the case for every mother; the community has diminished. Cater to Mom is filling this need by raising awareness of perinatal mental health. We provide monthly postpartum boxes curated to support moms postpartum and beyond. But most importantly, we are ensuring postpartum resources are included in our boxes so Mom is better prepared for her postpartum recovery. I strongly believe every mother needs regular, on-going information; mental, emotional and spiritual support; proper rest and nourishment; and, most of all, compassionate companionship and encouragement. Postpartum has no timeline, and I am thankful for the opportunity to cater to the needs of moms, regardless of what stage of postpartum they are in.
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It’s that time of year when we make resolutions and goals for our year ahead. In much the same way, Volvo continually looks to the future with the goal of redefining personal mobility in a safe and sustainable way.
AUSTIN WOMAN MAGAZINE | JANUARY 2020
Happy new year from Volvo Cars of Austin.
Volvo is committed to pursuing these visions: • No one should be seriously injured or killed in a new Volvo car by 2020. • We want to give back one week of quality time per year through a new Volvo car by 2025. • Around 50 percent of the cars we produce and sell will be electric by 2025.
©2020 Volvo Cars of North America, LLC. The Iron Mark is a registered trademark of Volvo.
“If you’re a mom, you’re a superhero—period.” –Rosie Pope
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