y t i r b e l Ce dition E
AMAB
Fall 2019 Issue #9 $2.99
Autism Moms Are Beautiful
Julie & Lizzie Hornok United in Autism Jona Xiao
Believe in Yourself
Candice Webb
Whitney Mercilus
Autism Mom
WithMerci Foundation
Marcus Boyd Autistic Dad
Zalyn's Boulevards Go-To-Beauty Selections
Fina Ferrara Dancing is Therapy
Editor-in-Chief
Nichole Wilson
Chief Advisor
Steve Levine
Lead Advisor
Haley Ahart-Keiffer
Associate Advisor
Donna Shatara Porche
Associate Advisor
Maria Merrick
Associate Advisor
Marta Brain
Associate Advisor
Gayle Fisher
Creative Director
Nichole Wilson
Managing Editor
Sindu Alakot
Style Editor
Nichole Wilson
Autism Moms please join the Private Facebook Group:
Autism Moms Are Beautiful with Nichole Wilson https://www.facebook.com/autismmomsarebeautiful
AMAB Magazine Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/amabmagazine/
Autism Moms please join the Private Facebook Group: Autism Moms Are Beautiful with Nichole Wilson https://www.facebook.com/autismmomsarebeautiful
Follow us on IG: @amab_magazine Website: www.autismmomsarebeautiful.org On the cover: Julie Hornok and Lizzie Hornok Photo credit: Carrianne Photography
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EDITORS NOTE Nichole Wilson
10
CANDICE WEBB Autism Moms Rock
14
THE DECAF SEGMENT Autism Moms, Let it Out
08
WHITNEY MERCILUS WITHMERCI Foundation
12
CONFESSIONS Anonymous Autism Mom
15
JONA XIAO Always Go For It
17
FINA FERRARA Dancing is Therapy
22
MARTA BRAIN A Moment with Marta Fabulous Autistic Mama
24
PICK A QUOTE, ANY QUOTE Encourage and Motivate
20
JESS WESSEL-BORGIC A Moment with Jess Fabulous Autistic Mama
23
MARIA MERRICK Be the Voice for Those Who Have none
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GAYLE FISHER Let me Brighten YOUR Day
26
ZALYN'S BOULEVARD Go-To-Beauty Selections
34
ANA ESPARZA Breast Cancer Survivor
36
POETRY FOR THE SOUL Onney The CEO
29
JULIE HORNOK United in Autism
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WRITE TO US Letters from our readers
37
MARCUS BOYD Autistic Dad's Rock
Editor's Note
Autism Moms Are Beautiful is a magazine providing encouragement, motivation, and empowerment.
This particular issue is filled with beautiful articles and highlights
from Autism Moms raising children on and off the Autism Spectrum. inspire all readers.
Our goal is to
We at AMAB Magazine believe it is important for parents raising
children on the spectrum to continue to love themselves and follow their dreams. Everyone in the community is gaining a better understanding of our world. theme of this issue is Dazzling and Marvelous. radiant.
The
To dazzle is to be bright, flashy, and
To be marvelous signifies someone who is awesome, astounding, and
magnificent.
We hope our articles bring a little dazzle to your day and beam rays of
love on your marvelous nights.
Sharing the expressions of Autism Moms and Dads
while guided with love brings happiness to everyone here at AMAB. continue to stay strong for our little ones.
We must
By doing this, we let everyone know that
Autism Moms Are Beautiful and we rock the universe!
Nichole Wilson Editor-in-Chief
“Advocating means to not only fight for what I believe in, but fight for what is right.”
Whitney Mercilus WITHMERCI FOUNDATION Interviewed by: Nichole Wilson
NW: There are so many hashtags out there to bring awareness. How do you feel about #differentnotless?
Whitney Mercilus is a phenomenal supporter of special
WM: We are all different. God made everyone different.
needs families. He brings so much joy to Houston, not
That is what makes us unique. Just because I may look
only as a football player but also as an advocate for the
different, act different, talk different, and think different,
special needs community. As an Autism Mom, it brings
doesn't mean that I am less than the person next to me. It
me great joy to express how much this interview has
doesn't mean that I will perform less than the guy next to
inspired me. It was an honor interviewing Mr. Mercilus,
me. Being the same as everyone else would be boring.
I
AMAB ARTICLE
the Founder of WithMerci Foundation.
think being different or unique makes a better narrative for every individual.
Nichole Wilson: Mr. Mercilus, what inspired you to create the WithMerci Foundation?
NW: Finding support is so hard for many families.
Whitney Mercilus: I always knew that I wanted to
What words of encouragement can you give these
give back in some way after I was drafted. It was
families?
something that my parents instilled in me and my
WM: Connect with other families who may have similar
siblings growing up. I would visit children in the
struggles. They can serve as a resource for those families
hospital early on in my career. That helped me to
who are in need of direction or support. Social media is
understand exactly what I wanted to focus on. I would
one of the biggest platforms we have. My foundation,
often see the children struggling in the hospital and
WithMerci, has been able to connect with most of our
then witness their parents feeling helpless because they
current partners through social media. The internet is
couldn't provide everything that their child needed. I
another big resource.
knew then that I had to use my platform and birth the
formed by families that have similar struggles. Last but not
WithMerci Foundation.
least, pray and ask God for help and direction through your
There are so many support groups
journey. He understands every thought, desire, pain, and
NW: What does advocating mean to you? WM: Advocating means to not only fight for what I
believe in, but fight for what is right. It means doing everything that I can in my power, by using my platform, to support and be the voice for the children whose voice has been silenced. 8
frustration. God will direct your path.
Autism Moms Rock music video Over 62,000 Facebook views!
"Besides praying daily (often multiple times a day), I work out! Working out is a great way to relieve stress." NW: Your son is now 18 years old.
Was
your journey easy? CW: Absolutely not!
been one of the most difficult things for me
Interviewed by: Nichole Wilson Makeup by: Camilia Wilson Photo credit: Point and Click Photography
and my family.
CAND I CE WEBB Autism Moms Rock
Candice Webb has been in the world of Autism for a while now. Candice has a smile that will uplift and encourage you so that you can get through your day in peace. believes in staying positive.
This journey has
She
Everyone who
receives one on one time with Candice will cherish that moment for the rest of their
When we got the diagnosis,
Tre was 3 years and 5 months old and Autism was not nearly as prevalent as it is today.
1 in 188 children was diagnosed at
that time and we didn't have all of the resources that are available today.
There
were no support groups. Heck, no one aided us on our journey until much later in life. It took us almost 3 years to get any services and that was with two different private insurances.
Although autism still presents
many challenges for me, I would not change my life for all of the riches in the world! The experience has been very humbling and Tre has taught me more than any professor
lives.
could ever teach me. I have learned to be
Nichole Wilson: How many kids do you
matters in life.
have?
no words. It is truly an action.
grateful for the little things and what really
Candice Webb: I have two beautiful
children, a girl, and a boy. My son is my
I know now that love needs
NW: If you could go back and do
eldest and is on the Spectrum.
something different, what would you do?
NW: When you were told your son was
I didn't send him to a private school that
Autistic, how did you feel?
specializes in Autism.
CW: In the beginning, I blamed myself, even
been taught in a 1 to 1 ratio learning
though I hadn't done anything that was even remotely harmful to him throughout my pregnancy.
I was consumed and
overwhelmed with guilt. I was working at the time and took off work for 3 months. It was literally like a mourning period for me.
CW: I used to want to change the fact that
I felt like if he had
environment that things would be different. I no longer feel this way.
I feel like he is
just the way he is meant to be. We will continue to aid him with exceeding his goals to become as independent as possible and to be able to effectively communicate.
NW: If you were able to change one thing in the school district what would it be? CW:
Inclusion, inclusion, inclusion! I feel that Autistic individuals can learn from
neurotypical individuals and vice versa. There is always a lesson to be learned by both parties! I take Tre basically everywhere.
It is not easy and I never know what type of
behaviors will be displayed by Tre, but I rarely let this stop me from taking adventures with him because I not only want to expose him to the world,
I want to expose the world to Tre!
Autistic individuals have the same rights to enjoy life as anyone else, so I refuse to keep him behind 4 walls! NW: Where do you see Tre in the next five years? CW: I am hoping to help him decrease some of his behaviors, continue to aid him with
some form of effective communication, and help him become as independent as possible. Our ultimate goal is to seek gainful employment for him. job is, he can shred papers as far as I am concerned.
It does not matter how simple the
I just want him to be the best he can
be, have a sense of responsibility, and feel like he matters. biggest dreams for him is to become an Autistic Model.
In addition to this, one of my
Tre loves taking pictures so, I can
see him doing this if he has the right photographers. NW: To keep yourself going, what do you do for yourself? CW: Besides praying daily (often multiple times a day), I work out!
Working out is a great
way to relieve stress. It also gives me more energy, which is needed to keep up with Tre because he can be very busy and he only sleeps about 4 hours a day on average.
Lastly, it
clears my mind and actually allows me to process my thoughts because often times I become discombobulated due to the lack of sleep and the fact that my life is so hectic. NW: Express some encouraging words to other Autism Moms who are on this journey. CW: First and foremost, I want you all to know that you are not alone, nor are you at fault
for your child's diagnosis. You are your child's advocate. don't ever settle!
Fight for what is best for them and
They just learn differently so they may need extra support,
accommodations, and/or modifications! Your child is beautiful and the sky is the limit for him/her. Also, do not be discouraged because your life is not as you expected it to be.
It is
perfectly imperfect! There is always something positive in every negative situation! It is up to you to see the beauty in everything.
So look closely and you will see it!
http://jamminjenn.com
Confessions of an Autism Mom Author: Autism Mom (anonymous)
I need her to sleep next to me just as much as she wants to sleep next to me. Truth is, I don’t have her sleep next to me because I know she’s afraid of the dark. I do it for safety and my sanity. She’s an eloper and doesn’t sleep, she sleeps 30 minutes to 2 hours at a time. I need sleep too. If she’s in our bed she wakes, but doesn’t get up out of bed. Hubs and my sex life? Guest room and creativity. “Life is fragile, handle with prayer”- unknown
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Share your thoughts with us at amabmagazine@gmail.com. Letters will be edited for space and clarity. All submissions become the property of AMAB Magazine.
HALLOWEEN
TIPS FOR ASD KIDS THANKS GIVING
UNDERSTAND YOUR CHILD'S WANTS AND NEEDS. DO NOT FORCE SCARY COSTUMES ON YOUR CHILD. MAKE SURE YOUR CHILD IS COMFORTABLE. IF GOING OUTSIDE AT NIGHT IS SCARY, ITS OKAY TO PLAN THE EVENT INSIDE OR EARLIER IN THE DAY.
THE DECAF SEGMENT
DON'T YOU THINK YOUR CHILD HAD ENOUGH THERAPY? How many Autism Moms are tired of hearing this? This is how we really want to respond:
NO! There is no such thing as too much therapy!
Always do as much as
you can to help your child grow! Unless the child has mastered all of their goals and they exceed their level, then they need to stay in the "Therapy" that was chosen. Some individuals require life long support for their lifelong diagnosis, and what that looks like will change over time.
Thank you: Giset King, Krysta Fields, Dondra Stang, Catherine Hughes, Donna Shatara Porche
“People are looking for exactly what gifts you have to offer.”
Jona Xiao
Photo credit: Ricky Middlesworth Interviewed by: Nichole Wilson
ALWAYS GO FOR IT
Jona Xiao is a phenomenal actress. I really enjoyed her in "Being Mary Jane".
As an actress she has inspired me
to dig deep into my passions and make it happen. Autism Moms Are Beautiful would like to thank Jona for
NW: Autism Moms Are Beautiful is filled with many
this awesome interview.
Autism Moms who feel they can no longer pursue their dreams. What advice can you give our moms
Nichole Wilson: Tell us a little bit about Jona Xaio
who need encouragement to get back out there in
Jona Xiao: I’m an actress. I’ve been in over 25+ Tv
the acting world?
shows and films.
JX: In the entertainment business, there's a big push for
I’m the owner of CareerACTivate,
(https://www.careeractivate.com) a company that helps
diversity of all kinds. Just know that there are roles out
actors get more acting opportunities.
there for you.
I am also a flag
football quarterback.
People are looking for exactly what gifts
you have to offer.
I'm sure you would love to see more
autistic actors represented in film and TV, so...why not
NW: When you were a teenager did you know at
you? Some of the most important areas I recommend
that time you were ready to step into the world of
all actors to focus on is:
acting? JX: I fell in love with acting when I was 12 years old.
I
1)
Finding your money making niche or brand.
took a drama class and did a performance of
2)
Networking with industry professionals and building
Rappinstilskin, the rapping version of Rumplestilskin.
genuine relationships where you both would love to
Me as a rapper is a funny, funny thing, indeed! I loved
collaborate.
making people laugh and feel. That's when I decided I
3)
Recognizing your craft as an artist.
wanted to be an actress.
4)
Finding the right agents/managers for you, based on
who represents actors that have booked the specific TV
NW: Tell our readers who or what inspires you the
shows that you know you are right for.
most and keeps you motivated daily? JX: I think it's so important to focus on the bigger
Feel free to follow me. You can reach out to me at
picture. What is your WHY? That bigger, emotional why
jonaxiao on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter.
can help you get through any how, any challenge, or any obstacle. For me, the most important thing is making an impact on others. 15
ME TIME, MOVIE TIME FALL 2019
I HAVE QUIT
DANCING A FEW
TIMES, BUT I
ALWAYS END UP
DANCING AGAIN,
ONE WAY OR THE
OTHER.
Photo credit: Laura Ortiz Interviewed by: Nichole Wilson
FINA FERRARA Dancing is Therapy
Fina Ferrara is a phenomenal dancer. She has her own unique style and is known as a contemporary dance artist. I enjoyed intervieweing Fina and I am inspired to share her beautiful words of love and encouragement. Nichole Wilson: Fina, when did you start dancing? Fina Ferrara: I´ve been dancing since I was four years old. That was more than 30 years ago. At the age of 10, I started my professional degree as a Ballet Dancer at the National Institute of Fine Arts (INBA) in Mexico.
NW: What point in your life did you know this is what you wanted to do? FF: I think I fell in love with dancing when I started to pursue my degree. As the years passed, I realized that dancing was my passion. At one point, it was the only thing that really mattered to me. NW: Did you ever hit a crossroad in your life where you doubted your abilities? FF: Of course, many times! Dancing professionally is not easy. There is a lot of pressure, and being the perfectionist that I am, I tend to be really hard on myself. I have quit dancing a few times, but I always end up dancing again, one way or the other. I think I have reached a point in my life where I have assumed that I need to move and dance in order to feel good, to feel like I am being myself. It has become less important how I move or dance, and more important how I feel when I do.
FINA FERRARA www.finaferrara.com IG @fina_ferrara Facebook @danzafinaferrara Vimeo.com/finaferrara Photo credit: Laura Ortiz
NW: Can you please express to our readers encouraging things, people, or places that inspire and motivate you? FF: What inspires me? That is a complicated question. I get inspired by simple things, like a sunrise or laying down on the grass and watching the trees move with the wind. I love being surrounded by nature. I love watching all types of art. Bold artists like Anish Kapoor or Marina Abramovic catch my attention. There is a part of me that is always questioning things, beliefs, and standards. Emotions motivate me as well as all areas of the spectrum of emotions that we as humans are able to feel. I love it when I get feedback from my audience about what they felt. I think art itself is about reconnecting people with themselves and their emotions. NW: Raising a child on the autism spectrum can be tough and sometimes time consuming. What encouraging words can you express to an Autism Mom who wants to get back into being a dancer? FF: I guess I could say PLAY. Play with the tools you have for taking care of your child by mixing it up a little with body movement. Have fun. Move your body and even dance a little while cooking. Think out of the box. Stretch your body while picking up the toys or the dirty laundry from the floor. Don´t take yourself so seriously. Whenever you are about to explode in tears or anger, please do by transforming that energy into a nice performance, exploring your capacity of expression. Be patient with yourself. For those crazy days where you find yourself running up and down the stairs, look on the bright side! You are moving and exercising your body! It´s not a rule that you have to go to the gym in order to stay fit. So dance every day while you do your everyday activities, and slowly things will align. You will find yourself some years later giving out a performance to your peers and feeling utterly satisfied!
Photo credit: Horacio Flores 19
A MOMENT WITH JESS FABULOUS AUTISTIC MAMA
Hello Autism Moms! I am not just your ordinary mom raising beautiful boys with autism. I am an Autistic adult raising two boys on the autism spectrum. I am sure you are wondering how I was able to do this. Well, as an Autistic adult, I realized that I had to put so much on the side for my babies who were on the autism spectrum. I also have OCD and having kids around who are very messy, really irritated my OCD. I constantly found myself chasing my oldest son around our home. I was constantly cleaning up after him with my broom, vacuum, and wipes. Having dirty floors has always been a pet peeve of mine. I hate to see my floors dirty. With the help of counseling, I have overcome so much over the years. Counseling has also helped me with my second son. Also, I have received lots of love and support from my family and friends. They have really helped me too. I am an Autism Mom and I rock!
JESS WESSEL-BORGIC
Join us every 4th Thursday! www.amabeautiful.org
Thanksgiving with Zeni' I remember when Zeni was five years old. We were invited to attend a family outing for Thanksgiving. Anyone who knows Zeni knows that she tends to be a very picky eater. So I prepared her own meal from home. I remember someone inquiring as to why I would bring her food from home when our family member went through all the hard work to make dinner for everyone. I politely responded, ”She just doesn't like the dishes that were made, but I am going to enjoy every bite.” Nichole Wilson Editor-in-Chief
As a mother, I remember so clearly knowing something was “off” with my son. He was my first child and I heard from countless people that things were fine, that I was exaggerating or that I was worrying needlessly as children progress at their own rate. There was one instance where I was taking my son to a Mom and Me Dance Class. We had gone the week before and had a great time. The second time, however, things were different. My son kept crying and fussing and eventually screaming. We left the room and he immediately stopped crying. I then realized the difference: this second week was crowded with more people, which meant more noise and sensory stimulation. My instinct was correct... I just had to be confident enough to follow it. I was right; my son was diagnosed with autism at the age of 2 1⁄2. I am a firm believer in a
MARTA BRAIN
PHOTO CREDIT: POINT & CLICK PHOTOGRAPHY
A MOMENT WITH MARTA BRAIN FABULOUS AUTISTIC MAMA
mother’s intuition. You know your child better than anyone. Never allow anyone to stifle what you believe to be best for your child. Surround yourself with a tribe...people you can lean on for support...whether that’s family, friends or a group of parents’ also raising children with autism. At the end of the day...whether good or bad, always remember you are beautiful, what you do matters and you are making a positive impact on the life of your child!!!
IF A G
T
ou y or f t ju s
3 Steps to Host an Autism-Friendly Christmas for Autistic Children Step 1: Don't be afraid to ask questions
Some Autistic children are picky eaters. Remember to ask about food preferences. Find out if they are comfortable sitting with the family at the dinner table. Don't forget to ask if the child has a sensory disorder.
Step 2: Have no expectations Please remember to not make any assumptions about the child. Don't expect the Autistic child to respond the same way as one you may have met in the past.
Step 3: Be loving, patient and explain Autism to family and friends in attendance Be loving, patient, and be sure to explain Autism to family members and friends in attendance. It is important for everyone especially the children that their family member is different but still very much equal. Remind them to always be kind.
New Mental Health Hospital Takes Center Stage Summer 2019 in Harris County UTHealth President Dr. Giuseppe N. Colasurdo, left, HHS Executive Commissioner Dr. Courtney N. Phillips and State Rep. Dr. John Zerwas hold their shovels and hard hats at the groundbreaking for the Continuum of Care Campus for Behavioral Health.
Dr. Giuseppe N. Colasurdo, (left), Dr. Courtney N. Phillips (middle) and Dr. John Zerwas (right)
HHSC, in partnership with the University of Texas Health Science Center at Houston, broke ground on the new UTHealth Continuum of Care Campus for Behavioral Health on June 26. The groundbreaking ceremony took place at the construction site next to the Harris County Psychiatric Center. It marked the first major state mental health hospital construction project since the El Paso Psychiatric Center opened in 1996 and the first public mental health hospital built in Houston in over 30 years. In 2017, the legislature allocated $125 million to HHSC for the construction and planning costs. The 240-bed campus slated to be completed in late 2021 and will provie inpatient acute psychiatric care and support to help patients transition back into their communities.
“We are so excited to partner with UTHealth, the community, the county and the federal partners,” said HHS Executive Commissioner Dr. Courtney N. Phillips at the groundbreaking ceremony. “It takes all of us making this commitment and this partnership to make it happen. This partnership is one that is not happening everywhere. It’s happening here in Texas. It allows us to be innovative, to build the academic pipeline and to serve those who we have been entrusted to serve.” Architecture firm Perkins and Will took the importance of natural daylight and acoustics into consideration for patients’ health, as seen in this rendering of a hallway with therapy rooms. The camplus will foucs on short-term civil commitmnets and complex medical needs. “It’s not just bricks and mortar,” said Deputy Executive Commissioner Mike Maples, who oversees the Health and Specialty Care System. “We’re redesigning the whole continuum of care for people so that mental health care becomes something you have immediate access to. You have the best outcomes possible and return to a life of independence as best you can. This is a starting point and a great day."
contributed by: Maria Merrick YOUTH Be the Voice for MAGAZINE Those Who Have none
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Beautiful Quote's to Live By!
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GAYLE FISHER LET ME BRIGHTEN YOUR DAY
Gayle Y. Fisher, M.Ed., Ed.Tech. Improving the World of Learning Differencesl
How does your Autistic son brighten your day? When I can remember to use humor, not frustration and impatience, he can make me laugh and regain my equilibrium. When he makes good choices that others can see, true to whom I know him to be, it really brightens my hopes for his future. It helps so much to let go of my fears, and live one day at a time. If an Autism Mom feels like giving up, what advice do you have for her? When others say things that could bring you down, focus instead on the kid you know is in there, with unique skills to share with the world. All that other stuff is someone else's opinion, really meaningless. Your child's decisions toward finding their purpose are what matters. Water the flowers, not the weeds.
ZALYN'S BOULEVARD
GO-TO-BEAUTY SELECTIONS
ZALYN'S BOULEVARD "Love yourself for who you are, and trust me, if you are happy from within, you are the most beautiful person, and your smile is your best asset." —Ileana D'Cruz
AUTISM MOMS ARE BEAUTIFUL
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daughter began progressing, I decided to pour my extra energy into giving autism moms the emotional support that I wished I had when I was deep in the trenches. I started a non-profit organization, United in Autism, to bring fun-filled, pampering events to autism moms.
I also
interviewed inspirational families all over the world and shared their stories in the book, United in Autism: Finding Strength Inside the Spectrum. NW: As a married woman, hard worker, and mother, how do you balance everything? JH: The word “balance" assumes that I am
successfully juggling all the balls. the case.
That is rarely
When I am pouring myself into one
area of my life, it is impossible for a few balls not to drop.
Photo credit: Carrianne Photography Interviewed by: Nichole Wilson
JULIE HORNOK I had the privilege to meet Julie Hornok earlier this year. When I met Julie, I knew immediately that I I asked her if
she would contribute an interview to AMAB Magazine and she graciously accepted.
Later that
night, I went home and sat on my patio. to read her book, United in Autism. completely blown away!
the best that I can within each day. it all, but I will give it my all.
I cannot do
It is important that
we don’t buy into the pressure of thinking that we need to have it together in all areas of our
United in Autism
wanted people to know her story.
Just like any other autism mom, I do
lives in order to be successful.
One of the things
that makes a woman successful is that she can pass her power over to those whom she trusts, in order to help pick up the balls when she can no longer keep them in the air.
I started
It had me
Every moment that I
spend with Julie is both enlightening and inspirational! Nichole Wilson: Tell me a little bit about Julie. Julie Hornok: I am a wife and mom to three
children.
I have two sons who are 18 and 13.
I
also have a 16-year-old daughter, Lizzie, who was diagnosed with autism days after her second birthday.
After her diagnosis, we immediately
jumped into action with a 30 hour a week home based therapy program.
This program enabled
her to become the best version of herself.
Today,
she is captain of her cheer squad, on the volleyball team, a National Honor Society member, and most importantly, she is confident in herself and what she has to offer the world.
Once my
Julie Hornok and Lizzie Hornok YOUTH MAGAZINE Photo credit: Carrianne Photography
"To every parent who has heard the life-changing words 'Your child has autism'. Together, we are stronger." JULIE HORNOK www.JulieHornok.com
NW: When did you recognize your baby was on the autism spectrum? JH: At 18 months old, Lizzie displayed every red
flag. She had lost her language, walked on her tip toes, flapped her arms, lined things up, and had no ability to communicate or awareness of the world around her. I was fortunate enough to have a no nonsense, speech pathologist friend that told me to “run not walk” to the developmental pediatrician. NW: When you realized that Lizzie was autistic, what steps did you take? JH: Upon diagnosis, we began a 30 hour a week
therapy program that included ABA, speech and occupational therapy.
We also did testing for
vitamin deficiencies and allergies and treated them accordingly. Later, we added floor time and social skills playdates. The best guidance that I received was from other autism moms. Talking to moms that were one step ahead, enabled me to continue to know what to do to Julie Hornok and Lizzie Hornok Photo credit: Carrianne Photography
help my daughter progress. Finding a community was an important component in my daughter’s success.
relax, take care of myself, and truly celebrate my NW: How was your mental state during the
daughter.
beginning process of autism? JH: For the first few years, I was in “fix-it mode.”
NW: Julie, your son is in College now, please
I exhausted myself and my family doing all the
express the joy you are feeling.
things that I thought would make my daughter
JH: My son going to College comes with mixed
“typical.”
feelings. I feel joy in knowing that he is prepared
After a few years, when I realized
autism was for life,
I had a really tough time
and ready for this next step.
He is a wonderful,
accepting what this meant for my daughter and
involved brother to both Lizzie and his younger
for our family. Over time, I have realized that my
brother.
first mistake was in trying to make my daughter
has become, and I can’t wait to see how he
someone she wasn’t.
chooses to impact the world.
She is beautiful and
perfect exactly as she is.
Therapy could still
help her become more functional and happier in
I am so proud of the young man that he There is also
sadness because our family dynamic will be different, and we will all miss him so much.
the world, but putting the expectation of “typical” on her was wrong.
Once I accepted our family
for what it was, I was able to better
NW: Your book, United in Autism is a phenomenal read. What inspired you to write such a wonderful book?
JH: I began doing emotional support events for
moms of kids with autism, and although our time was impactful, I wanted to send the moms home with daily inspiration for when they were back in the trenches at home.
I looked everywhere for
the perfect book, but couldn’t find it.
So, I wrote
it. This book is written with the autism mom in mind.
It shares raw, inspirational stories from all
types of families, all levels of the spectrum, from all over the world.
Each story can be read in five
minutes or less while you are hiding in the bathroom with some Oreos.
The icing on the
cake was that Temple Grandin wrote the foreword for the book. NW: What encouraging advice do you have for other moms raising a child on the Autism Spectrum? JH: Love them as they are while gently pushing
them to become the best version of themselves. Learn to recognize your child’s strengths and interests, and use those to help teach them. Remember that the small steps of progress add up over the years.
Everyday consistency is the key
to a happy and functional child.
Julie Hornok Photo credit: Carrianne Photography
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FALL 2017 COVER MODEL 2018 AMAB AWARD WINNER
During my breast cancer treatment, being a Mom to my two teens on the spectrum was tough. I had to battle fatigue and nausea while doing my best to care for them.
AUTISM MOMS ARE BEAUTIFUL
Ana Esparza
BREAST CANCER SURVIVOR
OCTOBER IS BREAST CANCER AWARENESS MONTH
I enjoyed reading the 2018 spring issue! Haley Ahart-Keiffer is a wonderful autism mom who rocks!
Haley's article As a mother of three children living with Autism, this article served as a reminder that Autism is an individual journey and each persons journey is unique and cannot be measured by another's experience living on the spectrum.
April Green
It's Going to Be AUlright:Testimonies from AUsome Women Raising AUsome People Capitol Heights, MD
5 Ways Autism Moms Can Relieve Stress at Home I enjoyed reading this section of the magazine. I believe in exercising on a weekly bases to help relieve stress. Donna Shatara Porche Houston, Texas Autism Mom
LETTERS LETTERS
Write to us! Share your thoughts with us at amabmagazine@gmail.com. Letters will be edited for space and clarity. All submissions become the property of AMAB Magazine.
POETRY FOR THE SOUL If I told you I loved you would you believe it? a whole book about you would you read it?
If I told you I wrote I hope that my
advances don’t make me seem conceded, but it’s something about your vibe that has me addicted, therefore I need it.
So if I
tell you I love you, please don’t take it as a joke, or some kind of cliche quote, just know those three words are the realest words I ever spoke… I love you with an open hand so understand a title isn’t what I demand… I’m just being transparent while I still can, Just because,
I actually do… love you.
ONNEY THE CEO
FB & IG: ONNEY THE CEO
Once I was diagnosed, I slowly began transitioning into the man and person that I would become today..
Photo credit: Adeva Rae Interviewed by: Nichole Wilson
Marcus Boyd Autistic Dad's Rock
I was so happy to meet with the great Marcus Boyd when I was in Atlanta. He is truly an amazing individual! He has a huge admiration for the autism community, especially being autistic himself. It was great to hear how much of an impact he has within the autism world. I am so excited to share Marcus Boyd’s journey with our readers. Nichole Wilson: When were you diagnosed with Autism? Marcus Boyd: I was diagnosed with Autism on April 12, 1993. I was 10 years old at the time. Dr. King at Clifton Springs Mental Health Center diagnosed me. I was born with Autism and I didn't start speaking until I was thirteen years old. I spoke at a two or three year old level. When I was 11 years old, the doctors told my grandma that the left side of my brain didn’t function correctly and that I would need an adult caregiver for the rest of my life. I didn't know that when I got diagnosed with Autism, I would be propelled into a path that would lead me to be a voice for a community and that I would truly understand my purpose. Before I was diagnosed my grandma and foster parents didn't understand my behaviors or know how to really help me with them. So with me being diagnosed, it really opened more questions such as “how do we fix this,” “is there medication he can take,” or “is there a pastor we can talk to for prayer?”
NW: How was life for you as a child? MB: My life as a child was very hard. I was placed in a lot of foster homes and group homes. I spent a lot of time in different mental hospitals. I received both inpatient and outpatient care. I went through many therapy sessions and received behavior aides. Needless to say, I went through a lot of trials and tribulations. I went through a lot of lonely nights. I used to have to write a lot of things down because of me not being able to speak. My family tried to help teach me words and sentences, but it took years for me to really understand the information. As a child, I went through bullying and being picked on because people didn't understand my condition. I went through physical and emotional abuse as a result of not being able to talk. It made me feel so alone and abandoned. I was moved around a lot, but my family and grandma did play a major part in trying to help raise and teach me. I had extreme behavioral problems because of the life that I was living at home. It made school and normal life hard to deal with a lot of the time. As a child, I think I was trying to find a voice so that others could hear me speak. NW: Now that you are an adult, tell us how you are able to overcome adversity and rise above? MB: Well I had a lot of angels that God placed in my life to help me deal with my Autism. My behavior aide Mr. Bob, my social worker Dorothy Carr, my therapist Verta Looper, my grandma and my family were very instrumental in helping to educate, teach, and get my mind and words to a place where I could speak like everyone else. Music was another main factor that helped with my developmental process. How I heard sounds and how I took in words
and melodies was a way that I escaped my reality at the time. I was able to finish school even though it took me a lot longer than others. With the help of reading lessons, flash cards,hearing sentences, and having to write them and other words down, I was eventually able to grasp the knowledge that was given to me. It took a lot of prayer and a lot of sleepless nights and dedicated people that God put in my life to work with me. It’s like they say, “it takes a village to raise a child.” NW: What is it like for you as a father? MB: Well that is my favorite question! Malakai and my daughter Destiny are the reason why I breathe and want better, so that they can have better. I didn't know God could give me such amazing, incredible children. I couldn't ask for better kids to leave a legacy to. I am truly blessed to be able to watch them grow and to see their passion and gifts unfold and see what they will give unto the world. I am a goofy father, so I love joking and talking to them. They both love music and love to dance and I am constantly laughing and dancing with them. But as a father, I am the most proud when they say “I’m proud of you!” I work so that their dreams can be better and their opportunities can be greater. My biggest achievement is my children and I praise God for both of my blessings. NW: When did you discover music was your passion? MB: I first met music on January 20th, 1989. I was 6 years old. My family were super big on music and I used to hear Motown and old school R&B records playing in the house. My favorite was Michael Jackson, Denise Williams and Michael Mcdonald. But in 1993, I really fell in love with music when I got a chance to meet Biggie Smalls. I wanted to be just like him. Plus, I heard music in my head. I started to hear different instruments in my head. I had to learn how to take the music that I was hearing in my head and create and make it in a music format. I didn't learn that until
years later. But when I first discovered music it was raw and fresh and it wasperfectly shaped and it didn't run me away or make fun of me. Music provided me a safe place, somewhere I could goand be me and free from the troubles of the world. Discovering music helped to change my life, thoughts, and feelings. NW: Now that you have done so much and made a major impact, what should the world expect to see from Marcus? MB: Well I am just getting started! Expect me to be doing more speaking engagements, more speaking to kids and our youth, to help encourage and give them wisdom on music and the business. Expect more new music coming from me. I am a gospel rapper and I do have bars lol! Expect the ATL’s hottest Special Awards 2nd Annual event going on December 2020, where we honor and pay tribute to the mental health communities in the state of Georgia. Expect me to still be out here spreading awareness for Autism and letting my voice be heard for those who may not have a voice. Expect my new documentary about Autism around April 2020. Expect my brand new book to come out in 2020. So basically, just expect more to come from Autism activist Marcus Boyd! NW: What advice can you give other Fathers? MB: If you are a father with a child who has Autism, please be patient, loving, caring, and understanding with your child. Never give up on them. Grow with your child’s progress and lean to God for understanding. Keep the faith, even if the road is hard and long. Never give up!
