AMAB
SPRING 2019
ISSUE NO. 7
Autism Moms Are Beautiful
SIDRA JEFFERSON IVORY Splendid & Admirable
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Steps To Beautiful Lips
What’s in Your Safety Deposit Box?
Dr. April J. Lisbon
AMAB AUTISM MOMS ARE BEAUTIFUL
Editor-in-Chief Managing Editor Chief Advisor Associate Advisor Associate Advisor Creative Director Style Editor Associate Editor Editorial Assistant
Nichole Wilson Haley Ahart Keiffer Steve Levine Ashlee Viesca Sindu Alakot Nichole Wilson Donna Shatara Porche Janley Coan Jean TenBrink
Cover Model: Sidra Jefferson-Ivory Makeup Artist: Camilia Wilson Photographer: Point and Click Photography Styled by: Jeanette's Unique Boutique
editor's note
Autism Moms Are Beautiful is a quarterly magazine catered to Autism Moms and Special Needs Moms. Our goal is to inspire each of our readers and unite mothers who are raising children with disabilities. Sharing stories of Autism Moms can also enlighten others who are not raising children on the spectrum and are unaware of the challenges that come with raising autistic and special needs children. We appreciate the love and support from Autism Moms and the community. The theme of this issue is Splendid and Admirable. Autism Moms you are magnificent. Your magnificence is why you are extravagantly splendid. The world appreciates you and admires your love and strength. When we combine admirable with splendid, it is our belief that you beautiful moms will be encouraged, uplifted and motivated to keep going. By doing this, we let everyone know that Autism Moms Are Beautiful, and we rock the universe!
Nichole Wilson EDITOR-IN-CHIEF
Makeup Artist: Camilia Wilson Hairstylist: Touched By Dutchess Clothing: Chloe Dao Photographer: Point and Click Photography
AMAB Magazine Autism Moms Are Beautiful FB: Autism Moms Are Beautiful with Nichole Wilson FB: AMAB Magazine-Autism Moms Are Beautiful www.amabeautiful.org P.O. Box 841428 Pearland, Texas 77584
Sidra Jefferson KELLERWILLAIMS REALTY Office: 281-670-1800 Cell: 713-851-8618 SidraJefferson@kw.com Email: SidraJefferson@gmail.com Each office is independently owned and operated
Texas Affordable Housing Specialist Military Residential Specialist Specializing in Pearland and South Houton Texas Referrals Appreciated.
Sidra Jefferson
I am an experienced real estate professional who has dedicated a number of years helping clients achieve their real estate dreams. As a former Key Volunteer at MCCS Camp Pendleton, I learned a great deal about the sometimes chaotic life of military families. It's always a pleasure and honor to work with military personnel. I am a preferred Realtor for the Texas Veteran's Land Board. First time buyers are always in good hands. I make sure that I help them through all aspects of preparation to getting their first home. It is always an honor to help my clients and earn their business.
Mobile/Agent code: KW25GG9TO Download my App: http://app.kw.com/KW25GG9TO https://www.trec.texas.gov/sites/defa ult/files/pdf-forms/CN%201-2.pdf http://members.har.com/mhf/terms/dis pBrokerInfo.cfm? sitetype=aws&cid=568029
Contents
Jennifer
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MARTA BRAIN Autism Mom
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THE DECAF SEGMENT Autism Moms Let It Out
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SIDRA JEFFERSON IVORY Autism Mom/Cover Model
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MY MIND NEEDS REST Confessions of an Autism Mom
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Haley
ZALYN'S BOULEVARD 4 Steps To Beautiful Lips
16 SETH KEIFFER Autism Dads Rock
Tracey Giset
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GAYLE Y. FISHER, M.ED. Ligaments, Tendons & Sensory Feedback page
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DR. APRIL J. LISBON What’s in Your Safety Deposit Box? Photos by: Michelle Media (Haley), Point & Click Photography
MARTA BRAIN
Interviewed by: Janley Coan Makeup Artist: Camilia Wilson Photographer: Point and Click Photography
Marta Brain is an autism mom who rocks. She is well known around the Houston area and continues to leave a lasting impression on others by her continuous support for the Autism community. Marta believes in helping others, working as a team, and advocating for babies. Sharing her journey will certainly bring joy to other Autism Moms! Janley Coan: When you hear the word Autism, what comes to mind? Marta Brain: Autism is, simply put, a disability in which the brain processes information differently. The brain processes environmental input differently. There can be challenges when it comes to communication, socialization as well as gross and fine motor skills. There are also some extraordinary facets to autism. My children astound me daily. They have taught me so much about life. My son helps me see life’s simple pleasures and to not take things for granted. He’s bright and shows me perseverance every single day. He also teaches me to not take life so seriously. That it’s ok to be silly. My daughter has taught me to continue learning. She has such a love and hunger of knowledge that it’s truly inspiring. She is smart and witty and such a joy. I also am high functioning on the spectrum, but the first thing that comes to mind when I think of the word Autism, is my beautiful children and how much meaning they bring to my life and the world! JC: How many children do you have? Are you married? MB: I have been married to my wonderful husband, Thomas Brain, for 12 1/2 years. I have a stepdaughter that turns 17 in March and lives primarily with her mother and stepfather in Kansas. We fly her down every 6-8 weeks. Thomas is an aerospace engineer and we have two children together. Both of our kiddos are on the autism spectrum. Our son, age 9, is moderate to severe and our daughter, age 7, is high functioning. JC: When did you start this Autism journey? MB: July of 2011 was when my son was officially diagnosed with Severe to Moderate Autism Spectrum Disorder and Speech Impairment. He was 2 1/2 years old
and my daughter was a baby. I suspected that he had autism when he was around 12 months old. He had always been delayed with gross motor skills, did repetitive hand motions near his face, lacked eye contact, was delayed with babbling and speech and would scream intensely for reasons we couldn’t comprehend at the time. Now we know it was sensory overload. With my daughter, she was delayed significantly with speech and would constantly line things up. I knew she had autism as well. Her sensory needs differed greatly from that of my son, but many things were eerily familiar. JC: What difficult challenges have you faced with the school district? MB: While in the Public School District, we had great experiences with PPCD with wonderful caring teachers, but we started seeing struggles once my son entered Kindergarten. There was a huge lack of consistency, for example, my son was in three different schools in three different years. The Special Education Program he was in (Structured Learning Lab) was “revamped” each year. Our son was frequently underestimated, for example, despite the fact thaet my son was reading by age 2, he was given the lowest level reader possible because he was unable to verbalize comprehension questions. He was bored with what he was being given. The teachers just weren’t reaching him. He’s an incredibly bright boy and needs to be challenged. We finally pulled him out and placed him in a Private School for students with Autism. Since he started 3rd grade in this new school in September, he has been happier and made more progress in months than all the years in public school. At the same time, my daughter has remained in public school and attends an Elementary STEM Program. She is thriving and learning so much. She loves school and has wonderful teachers that are giving her the support she needs to be successful. We couldn’t be happier with this placement for her. I am a firm believer in Educational Choice. My family is a testimony to how successful it can be. Each child is different and unique and is receiving a high quality education in the setting that best suits them. JC: If you could change one thing about the school district what would it be? MB: If I could change one thing about the school district it would be specific and continuing education for all teachers, staff, general education students and their families about autism. Many of the struggles we see could be resolved with this type of educational training. People are just naturally afraid of what they don’t understand. Providing specific training and education would provide preventive measures for many of the struggles autism families face within school districts.
Guest Speaker Joyce Morrison Mrs. Texas International 2019
Hosted by Nichole Wilson Autism Moms Are Beautiful
Guest Speaker Dymond Elise Hayes Ms. American Coed 2019
Come watch your Autism Moms and Dads put on a show!
nt e Ev od e o Fre ee F rizes Fr r P o o D
Autism Moms Are Beautiful
Ev RS 18 ent VP an bri d u te p!
Talent Show Mothers Day Tribute Special Guest Performances by:
Onney The CEO
Rhine McIntyre Miss Pre -Teen Lone Star State International
Gracie Kieffer Miss Pre Teen International 2019
AXELRAD 1517 ALABAMA ST. HOUSTON, TX 77004 SATURDAY, MAY 11, 2019 2ND FLOOR, 3PM.-5PM
Seth Keiffer
The Decaf Segment Let It Out Autism Moms
"He’ll eat when he’s hungry.” How many Autism Moms are tired of hearing this? This is how we really want to respond:
My child will eat what he wants and it’s none of your business! I'm sorry, are you speaking to me? Your method will place me in the poor house! You should mind your business and focus on your own child! What works for one child doesn't work for everyone’s child.
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www.amabeautiful.org
Interviewed by: Nichole Wilson Makeup Artist: Camilia Wilson Photographer: Point and Click photography Styled by: Jeanette's Unique Boutique
Sidra jefferson ivory Sidra Jefferson Ivory is a phenomenal wife and mother, with a vibrant smile that would brighten up anyone’s day. After listening to Sidra, I learned and gained so much knowledge into the world of Autism. It was great getting to know her better and taking in all the information that she had to share with me. I enjoyed every minute that I spent with this awesome mom and I hope you enjoy her story and journey as well! Nichole Wilson: What makes Sidra smile? Sidra Jefferson Ivory: I smile when I see positive things. It is not always about my life or my family. I enjoy seeing good things that happen period, no matter who it is to. NW: Are you married? How many children do you have? SI: I am married to Earl Ivory. We have 2 wonderful children Kylah and Cyrus (on the Autism Spectrum). They are both talented and smart. I don't know who fascinates me more out of my son or my daughter. I am very fortunate. NW: Tell me a little bit about your son on the spectrum. SI: The biggest challenge we faced when my son was young, was him running away from us. I had to keep him extremely close so that I would know where he was at all times. It was so scary trying to find him in a clothing store, when I only turned away for a second to get my wallet out. We had to teach him to stay within our vision. 8
The biggest challenge we faced when my son was young, was him running away from us. I had to keep him extremely close so that I would know where he was at all times NW: How do you and your husband work together when it comes to your son? SI: My husband handles most of the boy stuff. He potty trained him, taught him to ride a bike, taught him to shower correctly, and push a lawn mower. I make sure that he does his homework, gets ready for school, and picks up his mess. Mostly, we parent together. There is so much that needs to be done. It takes a lot of work and patience. We learn more everyday. NW: What inspires Sidra? SI: I am inspired by my mom and younger sister, Althea. My mom dropped out of high school to help take care of her family. Years later, when she became a parent, she got her diploma, graduated from business school, and had a successful career. She taught us that hard work and education were the keys to a decent future. Obstacles were treated as mere setbacks. She made sure that my sister would feel loved by all of us and taught her to be as independent as possible. My younger sister inspires me because she is such an awesome person. She was born with cerebral palsy, which left her severely disabled. She is unable to walk and she also has a severe speech impediment. Somehow, Althea always seems to sense when I am having a bad day. She has one arm that she is able to give me a big hug with. She pulls me down and hugs me. Then she looks at me and says, "I You," which means I love you. NW: When you have time to take some "me time" for yourself, what do you do? SI: When I have time alone, I'm usually learning. I read a lot of real estate literature. I play word games occasionally. I'm still working on that "me time" balance. I have so many books that are waiting to be read.
I make sure that he does his homework, gets ready for school, and picks up his mess
NW: What advice can you give other moms raising children on the spectrum? SI: I would advise all parents not to underestimate your child. Oftentimes, we get a bleak diagnosis from a doctor who tells us about all of the things that our child won't be able to do. Focus on what your child can do. It's hard work, frustrating, and challenging trying to help your child reach their maximum potential. Challenge your child. If one task is learned, move him/her on to another task. Celebrate little victories. The best is yet to come!
Makeup Artist: Camilia Wilson Photographer: Point and Click photography Styled by: Jeannette's Unique Boutique 5
My mind needs rest
Confessions of an Autism Mom Author: Autism Mom (anonymous) I am so tired of this life! The waiting list for help is driving me crazy! My family thinks that I am overreacting. They have no idea how it feels to have a child with Autism. My child wakes up two to three times each night. The school calls me weekly to come and pick my baby up. This means I have to leave work and I am so afraid that my boss is going to come into my office and fire me. This life is so hard and it seems that no one gets it!
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Zalyn's Boulevard
4 steps to beautiful lips Exfoliate - To keep the skin on your lips smooth and make lipstick glide on more evenly, regular exfoliation is key. Take a clean, dry toothbrush (not the one you use to brush your teeth) and rub a bit of Vaseline onto the bristles. Then gently brush your lips for several seconds to smooth away rough spots. Condition - Be liberal with your lip balm, which should be full of moisturizing emollients like beeswax or glycerin, as well as good-foryou vitamins like antioxidants C and E. Look for super-hydrating sheer glosses that add a touch of color, too. Treat - One of the most common complaints: those annoying lip lines that develop with age and trap lipstick. Daily prevention is key and will pay off in the long run by lessening the deeper lines and wrinkles that are more difficult to rid. Since retinols are effective in the war against wrinkles, try wearing a lipstick with retinol. Protect - Because lips have a minimal amount of melanin, they have no natural defense against the sun. Always apply an SPF 15 lip balm under lipstick and reapply frequently during the day. This not only prevents premature thinning and wrinkling, but it's also your best defense against skin cancer. Retrieved from: SHAPE.COM https://www.shape.com/lifestyle/beautystyle/4-steps-beautiful-lips 12
Zalyn's Boulevard with Jeanette's Unique Boutique
Zalyn's Boulevard with NARS Cosmetics
NARS Cosmetics Houston Boutique 4444 westheimer rd. Suite F142 Houston, Texas 77027
Zalyn's Boulevard
CHI Haircare 250 Pennbright Dr, Houston, TX 77090 Phone: (281) 876-2000 chi.com
CHI 44 Iron Guard $6.50-$15.98
CHI Silk Infusion $2.38-$49.70
CHIÂ Lava Spin N Curl $139.99
JT: I was reading about Macy's Miracles and I am excited to know how much of an influence Macy has on the world. How does it make you feel as a Dad to know this? SK: I am not sure if Webster has defined a word grand enough to express how proud I am of Macy. My wife Haley and I founded Macy’s Miracles, in honor of Macy. We had no idea of the miracles that would come out of it, not only for Macy but for the community. Macy has so much resilience and heart! She never lets anything get in her way. She has inspired me to be a better man!
Interviewed by: Jean TenBrink
SETH KEIFFER Autism Dads Rock
Seth Keiffer is an awesome dad who believes in the power of music. Seth knows and understands the value of patience. He is a remarkable father, husband, and musician. I am excited to share his journey with you.
JT: Gracie, your other daughter, is now Miss Pre Teen Texas International 2019! What a wonderful announcement to the world. How are you feeling as a Dad? SK: Again, there are no words that can express how proud I am of Gracie! Life is a challenge when you are a special needs sibling and a lot of children suffer from feeling invisible against their special sibling’s complex medical needs. Gracie chose to take that problem and transform it into her own platform. The way she faced her fears and chased her dreams so fiercely is a true testimony. She moves with a mission to inspire all Special Siblings and show them that they can be anything they want to be. All they must do is believe in themselves; that leaves me in awe! She has inspired so many to see that it is never too early or too late to chase your dreams! JT: What advice can you give to Autism Dads? SK: The best advice I can give any Autism Dad, Biological or Bonus, is don’t give up! Don’t give up on your child or yourself! Find the JOY in the Journey!
Jean TenBrink: Tell me a little bit about Seth Keiffer? Seth Keiffer: I am a simple country boy who has been afforded a beautiful life! I found the love of my life in a woman who pushes me to be the best man that I can be! She blessed me with two bonus children and two biological ones, completing our family. As everyone has a dream in their heart, I am a man who gets to chase mine as a country music artist. I guess you can say that I get to prove to the world that you can have it all. JT: As a musician how do you share your talents with your babies? SK: I love singing with my kids! All four of them have the love of music in their hearts. When my autistic daughter Macy was younger, I witnessed how music was a healer. The only way we could redirect her during a meltdown was with me singing to her. It was through this observation that my kids and I decided to start Music Mondays. Music is truly the universal language! 16
Left to Right: Macy Brook and Seth Keiffer
Ligaments, Tendons & Sensory Feedback Ever notice a child running, and it looks and sounds a bit clumsy with extra loud footfalls and jerky movements? My son runs like that. He has overly-elastic, loose joints. He is quite comfortable to contort his legs and knees, like the photo below. When he’s trying to relax. When he isn’t thinking about it. Naturally. He’ll choose this position all night in bed, watching a movie or reading a book. Perhaps it brings deep-pressure comfort. Now let’s move from knees to hands: Does your child show inner churning via their fingers? When my kiddo is stressed, he twists his long thin fingers like pretzels. Even when his face says he is having fun, his fingers say there’s sensory turmoil. I have always hoped this finger-twisting thing helped him with selfregulation and finding peace in his own skin. http://www.ifwelearndifferently.com/thepower-of-distal-phalangeals/ His joints are so lax, in a constant state of being stretched out. Long ago, one of our OTs explained why he will always have to work harder. http://www.ifwelearndifferently.com/fingerti ps-and-motor-planning/ Fingertips and Motor Planning. Here is an anatomy link to help explain it. https://www.healthline.com/human-bodymaps/knee-bones/male#1 3D model of the knee. This can happen to hands and fingers also. Phalanges are the 14 bones that make up the fingers. They can have lax connections.
A little physiology about joints: Tendons connect muscle to bone, and stretch more than ligaments do. When injured, it is called a strain. https://www.healthline.com/human-bodymaps/skeletal-system#diagram Ligaments connect bone to bone, and stretch less than tendons. Injuries are called sprains. Here is an interactive 3-D diagram to learn more about the skeletal system: https://www.healthline.com/ human-body-maps/skeletalsystem#diagram. Your child will have to work harder, apply more energy to movement, if they have such looseness in their joints. It will be harder to cut paper, grip a pencil and tie shoes. (At our house, I buy Velcro closure footwear). Someday I hope we tie shoes, but now it’s far more frustration than happy independence. Have you heard of midline crossover? We all have 3 midlines: 1. At the waist (top and bottom) 2. Front and back 3. Left and right. Making your child move arms and legs across these midlines strengthens brain connections (neural pathways). To help these neural pathways grow, my son participates as fully as possible with drumming at school and in the community. We continue to practice writing “beautifully”. If it is “ugly”, it’s not good enough, and it gets erased and redone. Our kids can build lots of strong little muscles by practicing getting dressed, manipulating shirts inside out and
backwards, managing buttons and zippers. These activities build and maintain muscle strength in the limbs. So, not only do motor planning challenges exist, but just getting the body parts moving requires more work, compared to someone without such joint laxity. You can help your child by cleverly making them move, play, and practice to keep the muscles toned and ready for life’s fine motor activities. Use it or lose it.
Gayle Y. Fisher, M.Ed., Ed.Tech. Improving the World of Learning Differences GettingSorted.com
Special thanks to Rosemary Slade, OTR, for her review.
www.autismspeaks.org
What’s in Your Safety Deposit Box?
Dr. April J. Libson Hey, my fabulous autism moms and dads. May I ask you a question? What’s in your safety deposit box? I’m sure many of you reading this question might be asking yourself, ‘why is Doc April concerned about what is in my bank account’? Others are probably ignoring the question and have decided to skip this first paragraph or possibly the entire article. Don’t. Hear me out for a minute. I promise you it will be worth you continuing to read on. Honestly, I’m asking you these questions as your minds and hearts are your safety deposit boxes and how you treat your emotions and feelings dictate your ability to embrace this autism journey. As many of you already know, being an autism mom or dad is no joke. You know what it is like to watch your child have a meltdown and not be able to immediately calm them down. You know what it is like to feel the aftermath of an aggressive episode and feel like you have failed your child. You have or will experience this along this journey and to say this is impossible is self-denial. Yet, you as an autism parent, must guard your heart and mind so that this autism journey doesn’t diminish who you are as a phenomenal person. Here are four keys to help you make a deposit in your SAFE on a regular bases. Stability. Stability is one key in feeling secure on this autism journey. As an autism parent, you may find yourself struggling to maintain harmony in your work, relationships, parenting, and who you are as an individual. This may create a space where you question if you have what it takes to ‘balance’ it all. Understand one thing —your goal is not to be perfect but to be consistent in how you care for yourself. Personal self-care keeps you grounded and ensures that you create a healthy space for yourself and others.
Acknowledge. Acknowledging the fact that you are perfectly imperfect is the second key on this journey as it protects your sanity. Yes, moms and dads I know this is hard for some of us. The idea of not being perfect is a tough pill to swallow as you give your all to support your child while leaving your own needs behind. Yet I have one question to ask you—how far has the need of perfectionism gotten you on this journey? I ask this in all sincerity as I too am that parent who wants to make sure that all of my children’s needs are met and that nothing is out of place. If it is, I then find myself running around like a wild woman trying to ‘fix it’ and make it perfect again. It took me years to realize that it’s okay if I’m not perfect. It’s more important that I am present and available for myself and my children. I had to come to a point where I had to acknowledge that I was damaging my family when I wasn’t taking care of myself. I’ve learned to celebrate my successes and my flaws knowing that I am being the best parent I know how to be. Find time. Finding time to celebrate who you are as a fantastic autism parent is the third key. Trust me I know that time is a hot commodity as an autism parent. With IEP meetings, therapies, meltdowns, and your daily routines, finding time for yourself is hard. Well moms and dads, make the time. You deserve this time. You’ve earned this time. You have to celebrate and remind yourself that you are showing up everyday to be the strength and foundation that your child needs in order to survive in this world. You must celebrate that even when things aren’t going as expected. You didn’t give up or throw in the towel (although mentally you may have quit). It takes a lot of guts to fight against your own emotions and feelings and say that you’ll never give up on your child or on this journey. You are a fantastic mom or dad and you deserve to be honored. Embrace. Embracing this journey at times can be hard. Yes, I said it. This autism journey is hard as it pulls both the good and the bad out of you. It is mentally, physically, emotionally, and for some, financially exhausting. To pretend that it’s not for the sake of others or to minimize its impact is unfair to who you are as a person. Yet even in the toughest moments when you feel like you are ready to jump in the car and run away, just know that in time it does get easier. It becomes easier as you learn to adjust to the highs and lows of parenting an autistic child. It becomes easier because you’ve learned how to ‘tune out’ the haters when they have something negative to say about your child. You’ve learned not to throw in the towel because you are aware that you may be the only 21
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person who has what it takes to stabilize your child during a crisis moment. You’ve learned to embrace this journey because it’s your life. Your strength comes from you knowing that every success your child makes on this journey is because you purposed in your heart that you would never give up. In the end, the only way to find the security and reassurance that you need on this journey is to feel SAFE in who you are as a parent raising a child on the spectrum. You must find time to connect with other men and women who are on this journey with you to help build you up when you feel like you are unable to go any further. You must acknowledge that when this journey becomes too hard for you that it is okay to reach out for help. So today and every day, deposit life, love, healing, and wholeness in your SAFE so that you don’t become depleted on this journey. Dr. April J. Lisbon is a family life coach, author, and empowerment speaker who helps motivate and equip families of children with exceptional needs with knowledge on how to purposefully develop and practice self-care skills while passionately living a healthier lifestyle in their careers, relationships, and health/wellness. She has authored three books: Stretched Thin: Finding Balance Working and Parenting Children with Special Needs, Autism in April: A Mother’s Journey During the Tween Years and Unmasking the Trauma: School Bullying & Children with Special Needs. Dr. Lisbon's vision is to one day inspire one (1) million families to discover that not only do they have the power to make a difference in their children’s lives but other families raising children with exceptional needs. Recent Books: Stretched Thin: Finding Balance Working and Parenting Children with Special Needs Autism in April: A Mother's Journey During the Tween Years Unmasking the Trauma: School Bullying & Children with Special Needs
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2019 AMAB Â Award Ceremony
2019 AMAB Â Award Ceremony
2019 AMAB Â Award Ceremony
2019 AMAB Â Award Ceremony
