AMAB Magazine WINTER 2020 by autismmomsarebeautiful

AMAB

$4.99 Issue 10 January-March 2020

Autism Moms Are Beautiful

INEXPENSIVE THINGS TO DO ALONE

CHRISTINA MENDEZ

Autism Mom & Fashion Model

BELINDA HERNANDEZ Autism Mom

ANTHONY TRUCKS Own Your Shift

ZALYN'S BOULEVARD GO-TO-BEAUTY SELECTIONS

TINA LIFFORD

The Little Book of Big Lies

Editor-in-Chief

Nichole Wilson

Chief Advisor

Steve Levine

Lead Advisor

Haley Ahart-Keiffer

Associate Advisor

Donna Shatara Porche

Associate Advisor

Maria Merrick

Associate Advisor

Marta Brain

Associate Advisor

Gayle Fisher

Creative Director

Nichole Wilson

Managing Editor

Sindu Alakot

Style Editor

Nichole Wilson

Autism Moms please join the Private Facebook Group:

Autism Moms Are Beautiful with Nichole Wilson https://www.facebook.com/groups/autismmomsarebeautiful/

AMAB Magazine Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/amabmagazine/

On the cover: Christina Mendez Meaghan O'Connor - Stylist Roberto Ligresti - Photographer Masha Jeramaz - Hair/MUA

EDITORS NOTE Nichole Wilson

WRITE TO US Letters from our Readers

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY Love Yourself More

CONFESSIONS Anonymous Autism Mom

TINA LIFFORD

The Little Book of Big Lies

JESS WESSEL-BORGIC A Moment with Jsss Fabulous Autistic Mama

ANTHONY TRUCKS Own Your Shift

CHRISTINA MENDEZ Autism Mom & Fashion Model

PICK A QUOTE, ANY QUOTE Encourage and Motivate

5 INEXPENSIVE THINGS TO DO ALONE

DECAF SEGMENT Let it out Autism Moms

MARTA BRAIN A Moment with Marta Fabulous Autistic Mama

MOMS MINGLE Casino Night with Therapy & Beyond and Hope For Three

BELINDAÂ HERNANDEZ

ZALYN'S BOULEVARD Go-To-Beauty Selections

THE AUTISTIC MIND Whats the Haps? with Marshall Jones

I Believe in Raising Awareness

GAYLE FISHER Let me Brighten YOUR Day

MARIA MERRICK Be the Voice for Those Who Have None

RAUL JUAREZ Autism Dad

ANA ESPARZA Breast Cancer Survivor

POETRY FOR THE SOUL Onney The CEO

POETRY FOR THE SUOL

WRITE TO US Letters from our readers

Marie Brown

coming soon

MARCUS BOYD Autistic Dad's Rock

Editor's Note

Our Winter 2020 issue is another special issue because we love to add new content as we continue to grow. to inspire all of our readers.

With your help, we can do this! Our goal is

We at AMAB Magazine believe it is important for

parents raising children on the autism spectrum to continue to love themselves and follow their dreams. The theme of this issue is Love and Joy. Our 3rd Annual Award Ceremony is happening at Maggiano's Little Italy on Sunday, March 22, 2020, at 2:30 p.m. We want all of our readers to know how important strong love within our community is and how this love keeps our souls and spirits filled with joy. We hope our articles brighten your days and nights while the expressions fill your joyful moments with love! Sharing the expressions of Autism Moms and Dads, while guided with love, brings happiness to everyone here at AMAB. We must continue to stay strong for our little ones. By doing this, we let everyone know that Autism Moms Are Beautiful and we rock the universe!

Nichole Wilson Editor-in-Chief Page 6

I enjoyed reading the 2019 winter issue! Nichole Ashley Thalji is a wonderful autism mom who rocks!Â

LETTERS LETTERS

Write to us!

Donna's Article

Share your thoughts with us at amabmagazine@gmail.com. Letters will be edited for space and clarity. All submissions become the property of AMAB Magazine.

"I am not alone and I am thankful for AMAB for sharing Donna's article. My little one is top priority."

Anonymous

San Diego, California

4 Beauty Tips for proper facial cleansing "I enjoyed reading this section of the magazine. I didn't realize there was a method to proper facial cleansing. Thank you AMAB for the beauty tip!" Haley Ahart Keiffer Macy's Miracle Houston, Texas

Page 7

Autism Moms Are Beautful

FREE LOVE & JOY ISSUE

SPIRIT

“I have found that having a measure of awe and respect for life, even in the midst of difficult circumstances, is a way to both experience and honor the presence of God."

Tina Lifford

Photo credit: Kauwuane Burton Interviewed by: Nichole Wilson

Tina Lifford is a phenomenal woman. Growing up as a child, I always enjoyed seeing Tina on the big screen. It has been an inspiration to witness how another woman, who exemplifies strength and beauty, continues to

THE LITTLE BOOK OF BIG LIES

inspire her fans with daily motivations! As I follow her today, she inspires me with her weekly encouragement on social media. I am excited to interview the legendary Tina Lifford.

TL: I too love the moment you’ve identified for the very

Nichole Wilson: Tina Lifford, you are an inspiration

reason that you mention. It feels good when our hopes

to so many women today. Explain to everyone what

and prayers are made manifest. These moments help us

motivates you?

know that we are not alone in our struggles. When Rita

Tina Lifford: I view life as an extraordinary opportunity.

heard Loretta utter her first words, the weight of disbelief

We are meant to spend this lifetime discovering and revealing our infinite possibilities. What are the odds of becoming a human being in this huge universe? This makes life special, in all its various forms. Therefore, I want to be fully alive and to live life filled with hope,

was lifted. She felt supported. That single moment gave Rita the faith and energy needed for the long haul. NW: Tina, you have a book entitled, "THE LITTLE BOOK OF BIG LIES"! What motivated you to write this book?

respect, awe and appreciation. I believe the ultimate

TL:

life purpose is to grow and expand. This mindset is

to make our lives better. I aimed to write the kind of book I

particularly helpful when it comes to the challenging

wish had been available to me when I was yearning to

parts of being a human being. I have found that having

move beyond hurt, disappointment, and feeling stuck in my

a measure of awe and respect for life, even in the midst

life. Back then, when I would listen to motivational

of difficult circumstances, is a way to both experience

speakers, my minister, and read self-help books, more often

and honor the presence of God.

than not I still couldn’t figure out exactly what I needed to

I want everyone to know that we each have the power

do in order to achieve the fulfillment they talked about. In

NW: One of my favorite movies is "The Loretta

"THE LITTLE BOOK OF BIG LIES" gives clear, detailed

Claiborne Story". The scene that is so reminiscent

guidance and examples of both internal and external

to me is when Loretta (autistic child) said "Rita!" and

actions we must take to take charge of our thinking and

Rita responded by quickly grabbing her baby. This

heal past hurts in order to create our own fulfilling life - no

is what we as Autism Moms do every time we hear

matter the nature of our circumstances. I wrote this book

our babies say a new word. How did you feel after

to provide the kind of answers that would help others get

watching yourself on the big screen playing Rita?

to their best life faster and with greater grace and ease. Page 10

AMAB ARTICLE “I hope The Little Book of Big Lies will become a place where you feel safe, seen, and heard and that the truths on its pages with set you free and fill you with an endless sense of new possibilities.” — Excerpt from THE LITTLE BOOK OF BIG LIES

“Buy yourself a journal and regularly write down the dreams and hopes that live in your heart.”

Photo credit: Kauwuane Burton

NW: You are big on Inner Fitness! Tell our readers what Inner Fitness means to you? TL: Inner Fitness is being fit on the inside. Making your inner Self – the mental, emotional and spiritual part of

you – a priority. It requires gaining the kind of Self-understanding needed to successfully navigate life. Life is full of hurts, dramas, traumas, upsets, disappointments and fears that can shape our lives and block our joy. However, we can learn to properly process the hurt and challenges that we encounter. Prioritizing your inner fitness, developing supportive skills and practices can help you develop a strong, healthy and resilient inner Self. This makes inner fitness as important to inner wellbeing as physical fitness is to physical wellness. NW: We have Autism Moms out there who have given up on the dream of becoming an actress, writer, singer and so much more. What advice can you give our moms who need encouragement to just go for it? TL: Your child is more than the disability.

You are more than the mother of an autistic child, and more than

your circumstances. Be sure to give time and attention to strengthening your inner Self. Make the decision to thrive in your life no matter the nature of your circumstances. If you don’t know how to have time for yourself and the needs of your loved ones, take these steps: 1) Buy yourself a journal and regularly write down the dreams and hopes that live in your heart. 2) Every day, for 30 days or more, write this simple question: How can I happily take care of my loved one(s) and also nurture the inner essential part of me? Write this question as

many times in each sitting as it feels right to you. Tweak the words to make them your own. 3) End each writing session with a “thank you” or gratitude statement – “Thank you, for this or something better.” Doing this exercise will make room for new possibilities and experiences, and mystically navigate you toward the life you want to live.

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY

"Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world." Lucille Ball

A MOMENT WITH JESS FABULOUS AUTISTIC MAMA

"Raising two children with Autism Spectrum Disorder can be very tough. It feels as though I am being pulled in a million different directions. My husband and I have two sons on the spectrum. One who is high functioning and the other is low functioning. It can be very difficult to meet their individual needs both at the same time. Most days I have one son running around in his birthday suit while the other son is putting on 20 layers of cloths. I have two completely loving and adorable sons with two very different disabilities and abilities so sometimes it feels like I have both Jekyll and Hyde running around in the house at the same time."

JESS WESSEL-BORGIC Page 14

Confessions of an Autism Mom "I’m always second guessing if I’m doing things right as a mom of an autistic child and a child that is bipolar. I sometimes wonder if I’m crazy but I know I have to hold on for dear life because they need me. I need to be here for my children and I know God said it ain’t over until he say it’s over." Anonymous Autism Mom “Life is fragile, handle with prayer.”- Herold B. Lee

Share your thoughts with us at amabmagazine@gmail.com. Letters will be edited for space and clarity. All submissions become the property of AMAB Magazine.

“I understood the need to help others and I looked at my life and all the craziness that I had been through. There were so many obstacles that I overcame in the foster care system." Photo Credit: Devin Dobson Interviewed by: Nichole Wilson

individuals that I loved. I had to change how I operated. You have to put effort in the things that you love. I was able to transform my love of

ANTHONY

football and I went from being a sucky football player into becoming a phenomenal player. I

TRUCKS

received a scholarship and then I went on to play in the NFL. This love that I had to learn to

OWN YOUR SHIFT

develop has helped support me on my journey.

Anthony Trucks believes in uplifting, motivating and encouraging individuals. I enjoy going to his

NW: Once you figured this out, what steps

Instagram page on a weekly basis to listen in on what I can do to better myself as a woman and mother. Thank you Mr. Trucks for your daily

help others?

encouragement.

else’s child or another athlete, people are always looking up to you as an example to follow. I had to exhibit what it looked like to love yourself. I understood the need to help others and I looked at my life and all the craziness that I had been through. There were so many obstacles that I overcame in the foster care system. You are not supposed to do good when you grow up in the system. If you look at the prison system, 75% of the inmates were once foster kids and many do not graduate. The homeless population is also filled with former foster kids. I looked at what my mother left and observed that she created children that have done well. I saw that she helped me unconditionally and even though she was not my blood, she left me with a message of love. I wanted to continue sharing her message of love to the world. That is why I became a coach.

did you take in understanding the need to AT: I quickly realized that we, as athletes, mean

something to someone. Whether it is someone

Nichole Wilson: Anthony, when did you realize the importance of loving yourself? Anthony Trucks: Early on in life I was given away

to the foster care system. I didn’t love myself and I didn’t believe my biological mother loved me either. That is the one person in this world that is supposed to love you. At that time, I was not otherwise given examples of what true love looked like. Growing up and being bounced around in the foster care system, I ended up in a home with my adopted mom. She cared for me from the ages of 6-14. She loved me unconditionally. She taught me what type of things to love about myself and taught me how to love myself. I saw the importance of fulfilling my dream of playing football. When I was able to work at the highest level possible, I did. I wanted to work hard for the

Page 16

NW: I was reading some highlights about your master class, tell our readers what to expect when they sign up? AT: The master class for me is to give the concepts of identity. ”Who are you?” I wanted to be able to

give people the chance to answer that question. Your identity is not only how you operate. It's also based on your reactions, responses, inner thoughts, interactions, previous positions of the world, it's your habits and how you hold your habits in place and who you are when you are not thinking of who you are. If you are a fighter, quiter, optimist, that's how you end up. If you don’t like where you are, you can change it. It's called shifting and that will lead to you changing your life. It's a small shift, the same as an airplane trajectory. to change, but just shift.

It can land 40 miles away with a one degree of change. You don't have

I teach what this shift means and how it shows up in your life.

NW: You expressed this quote, “we take too much time thinking about what decision to make instead of making that decision”. This really touched me. Tell our readers why this is such a powerful message? AT: This is one that many struggle with. I believe God has an incredible plan for us, but we mess it

up.

An example of how we mess it up is by imagining that we are sitting at this intersection with

three different streets.

We don’t want to go down the wrong one, so we don't make a decision. We

end of staying there and end up becoming stagnant. doctor, or parent.

We could have been an amazing singer, artist,

However, we become scared at the moment and that fear is what immobilizes us.

We can choose to be the person who sits there for the rest of our life or the person that chooses to take a path.

Even if we choose an incorrect path we can choose to go down another path in a year or two.

The point is we made a choice to move ahead. NW: What encouraging words do you have for our Autism Moms and Dads? AT: I have been around special needs individuals and my wife has her masters in special education

and she has her own business for special needs individuals. I want the readers to always remember that they are not alone.

It hurts my heart that people don't try to understand everyone’s situation and

society looks at people a certain way.

There are many people who choose to point their fingers at

others. I want everyone to understand that those who have amazing, beautiful hearts will never make you feel that way. Amazing hearts do not do that. Someone that has darkness can only give away darkness. If you have goodness in your heart then you give that away. have.

People can only give what they

Autism Moms Rock music video Over 62,000 Facebook views!

AUTISM MOMS ARE BEAUTIFUL

INEXPENSIVE THINGS TO DO ALONE

ENJOY THE BREEZE

Take a walk, place the headphones on your head and dance to tranquility.

READ A BOOK

Find a motivational or inspirational book to read to help you rest your mind. GO TO A MOVIE

Depending on where you live, some movie theaters have weekly specials. Watch a funny movie to bring you joy and laughter. HEALTHY MARKET

Try a new healthy dish, or go purchase some fruit and enjoy the atmosphere. COFFEE SHOP

Take your computer with you and type your thougthts out while drinking a cup of coffee.

Page 19

but based on her facial reaction. I quickly realized that it was bad news. She said I should put him in a home. It was all so scary to me because I didn’t know what to expect. They didn't speak about Autism much during that time, so the unknown was scary and hard to accept and everything I was hearing was negative. It sounded bad based on what the teacher was describing. She said that he would never speak and that he would never express love and affection. This was very difficult for me to bear. I was a young mother. I thought that maybe I didn't take my prenatal vitamins as I should. I blamed myself. I began to hate myself.

Meaghan O'Connor - Stylist Roberto Ligresti - Photographer Masha Jeramaz - Hair/MUA Interviewed by: Nichole Wilson

CHRISTINA MENDEZ

FASHION MODEL & AUTISM MOM Christina Mendez is a beautiful model and awesome Mom! When I saw the picture of Christina and her son Damian on Instagram, I became overwhelmed with joy. I am thankful to have met her and I am excited to share her story with our readers! Nichole Wilson: What age was your son Damian diagnosed with Autism? Christina Mendez: My son, Damian was diagnosed at 2 1/2 years old and it was really hard for me. I was completely lost. I didn't have any family members with Autism. I knew very little about the subject matter of autism. NW: Was it hard for you to accept the diagnoses? CM: Initially, I thought the school was doing a regular preschool evaluation, but after that meeting, the teacher handed us a pamphlet. She said that I may need to go deeper into the evaluation. ”We believe he is autistic.” I thought she said ’artistic’ instead of ’autistic’. I was praising her because my son loves art

NW: Your son Damian, recently graduated from high school, how was the journey from elementary to now? CM: Damian graduated two years ago from high school! It was such a proud moment for everyone involved. His teachers and I were able to see his progress. He had such a rough time in the beginning. Finding the right school setting was difficult. It was like the blind leading the blind. I didn’t know how to be the best advocate. I had learned to fight for him as time went on. Initially, he was getting bullied at his first school. There was no way he could cause his own bite marks on his upper thigh. The school kept trying to blame my son for his bite marks and said that he was acting up in school. Later we found out that another kid was doing this. My son was non-verbal, there was no way for him to communicate what was going on with him. I recommend that every mother goes with her gut feeling. Always advocate and fight for your child's rights. He had problems at school as I spoke of earlier, with bullying and because he didn’t speak, there was an incident where he had his finger completely detached. We had to do emergency surgery. At that time, I tried to home school him through help from youtube shows. I don’t have a teaching background, but I felt that being home with me would be safer. I did my best until we found the right school setting.

Page 20

FASHION MODEL "My son inspired me to be a model." Christina Mendez

Instagram: modelchristinamendez Facebook: Christina Mendez

CHRISTINA MENDEZ

MEAGHAN O'CONNOR - STYLIST ROBERTO LIGRESTI - PHOTOGRAPHER MASHA JERAMAZ - HAIR/MUA

We found a school that had allowed him to have the same speech therapist for over 10 years until he was age 21.

He also had the

same teachers inside the same building.

was one of the oldest kids that lasted the longest in the program. They would call him the 'mayor of the school'.

Graduation was

special for everyone there that was involved with his process.

His school has had a place

in his heart for so many years. I've seen him go from not speaking at all to now being responsible and independent.

It is a great

achievement for all of us! NW: What or who inspired you to become a fashion model? CM: My son inspired me to be a fashion

model. I used to model in high school,

L to R: Damian, Cailey and Christina

nothing professional. We had a fashion committee and it was composed of a group of girls who met up together after school. We did fashion shows around the school for different holiday parties, practicing runway posing with our Spanish teacher, who created it.

I was always a chubby girl, but that never

stopped me.

I did competitions and I was

always great at that.

I didn’t feel that I

would be a fashion model.

For one reason, I

am not the tallest and smallest woman around. When I was growing up, the other girls looked like barbie dolls, not brown girls, and certainly not big girls!

So they were

never resembling what I looked like.

I never

thought that it was an attainable dream, but when dealing with my son, and hearing what they said he wouldn’t achieve and then seeing how he surpassed their expectations made me change my mind.

As I mentioned

before they predicted that he would not speak, but to everyone's surprise, he started speaking after 6 1/2 to 7 years. I felt like the time had come to do something for me.

had to take a leap and so when he started school and was doing well, I decided to just try to pursue my dream. I went on a casting call that I saw on Craigslist for a fashion show.

I met with a designer and she asked

me about taking pictures.

She encouraged

me to take pictures and told me how beautiful I looked. Her line eventually

became popular and it was presented on BET. She took me on BET and they did a show about models.

I was on that show

and it turned into a domino effect.

I did

one thing that led to something that led to another thing.

It was God thanking me for

devoting my life to Damian. giving me a gift in return.

Now he was It was a gift from

him to show me that you can do anything if you just put your mind to it. NW: When your baby first saw you on tv, how did he react? CM: I can't recall the first time my son saw

me on TV.

I think to this day, he still gets

super excited to see me.

I can be next to

him and he would ask, ”Is that you?” I think he was excited that he was on TV as well. If you go to Youtube, the BET episode showcased my family.

Damian was only

maybe about age 7 at that time. So his speech was really limited and speech was his biggest issue. himself on tv.

But he loves watching

NW: You are a fashion model and can inspire those Autism Moms who have given up on modeling. What encouragement would you offer? CM: My Autism Mom warriors, we were the chosen ones because we are strong resourceful individuals. We never give up! If we can fight a storm for our kids then we can use those same skill sets to give us the will to elevate us to achieve things for ourselves! I feel like a proud mom and happy mom can be those things for ourselves and our kids. I was guilty of not doing this. I devoted everything to my son and I was depressed, but that depression affected my son even if it was for a day or for a week. It affected him because I was not there for him a hundred percent and I couldn’t deal with it. There were times when I wasn't in the right state of mind for what he was going through. I learned that I needed to give myself the dream to fulfill my passion so that I could be a better person for him and deal with life. There is no better way or easier way except through example. Our kids may not be the most verbal, but they understand what is going on. Some may never be verbal. My son didn’t speak till he was age seven but he was completely aware of what was going on in life. There is no better gift to give your child than to be happy and it inspired you to feel untouchable. My advice is to follow your dreams and following your dreams, will make you a happier mom.

https://www.amabmagazine.com

THE DECAF SEGMENT

Let it out Autism Moms

WE KNOW YOUR CHILD IS AUTISTIC, STOP REMINDING US! How many Autism Moms are tired of hearing this? This is how we really want to respond:

Well let me REMIND you what a high five to the face looks like! What would happen if the autism gene was eliminated from the get pool? You would have a bunch of people standing around in a cave, chatting and socializing and not getting anything done! Stop leaving all the ipads out when we come to visit then I wouldn't have to remind you. I’m so sorry, I figured I should remind you frequently about my son’s autism because he’s only not autistic on days that end in y. Thank you: Michelle Young, Anthony Tinervia Jr., Catherine Hughes Page 24

Beautiful Quote's to Live By!

rs, a e nd ee e t ha us s t s ty au make e b ot that ty.” n e is au be “It ’s lov it LE

AUTISM MOMS ARE BEAUTIFUL Sp

en ou d ti g m di ht e a re as lo ct io you ne i n of co n ob yo nsi je ur de ct lif r t ive e. he ”

ght i r the ep n w ke do o t g e n g illn 'll mak alki w w u're you're lly you o y "If and ventua s." h t pa ng, e res g o i k pr wal AM

(

)

Pick a quote, any quote!

"W he n “C i t s r selfrea i ps tiv ych ghtfu respe ity you e, y l pl ct ha is i r t a s o c e n uw vin e i akes l t f e nt to gf l h be ill no un ligen b ma t al e .” ya ce low nyo nip u ne lat .” , n ed e p o e r es a th your y e r wi ou y s t ay. u a d o l h t e a h e "Now he sun j o start t ay in et ion t us or st s s mak a o ing p sun jeal n r u b ed." e the k b a M A

AUTISM MOMS ARE BEAUTIFUL E

EL AK

Page 25

A MOMENT WITH MARTA BRAIN

There was a particularly difficult season my family went through a couple of years ago. Thanksgiving was coming up and we traditionally make a trip to travel, stay and visit with family. As much as I love getting

FABULOUS AUTISTIC MAMA

to see family, this trip is hard on us. I remember going to a session with my therapist prior to the trip...I was really struggling with some intense anxiety and depression...and made the comment that I wished we could shorten the trip. Her response surprised me. She simply asked, “Why don’t you?” In that simple question, I was given validation and permission. We decided to shorten our trip and it was the right decision for us. “No” can be an empowering word. Sometimes, it takes an outside perspective to give you the clarity to make the best decision for you and your family. Your family is the priority and you have to decide what is best for you. That might mean saying “No” sometimes and that is ok. Sometimes it’s better to shorten a trip, not make a trip at all, host dinner at your house rather than go to a friend’s, etc. Only you truly know what is best for your family, so have confidence in your decisions. I am giving you permission...it’s ok to say “No”!!!

MARTA BRAIN

PHOTO CREDIT: POINT & CLICK PHOTOGRAPHY

Page 26

MOM'S MINGLE CASINO NIGHT

moms mingle recap with therapy & beyond and Hope for three Page 27

Momâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Mingle Casino Night September 10, 2019

Top (L to R): Belinda Hernandez, Candice Webb, Shanika Taylor, Sandi Lewis, Melissa Ensminger Bottom (L to R): Crystal Lopez, Angela Kimble, Sonia ThomasBelinda Hernandez, Sonia Thomas

(L to R) Kyrstal Thomas, Jamie Smith

(L to R) Stacey Schultz, Paula Silva, Lynn Clouser, Rowen Vicerra Laine, Tessa Schmidt

Elegant Potraits by Kian

Hope For Three Autism Advocates and Therapy and Beyond partnered to host the Second Annual Moms Mingle Casino Night. The event, held at Safari Texas Ranch brought together over 100 awesome moms living the autism journey. The ladies shared an evening of laughter, tears and emotions with new-found friends. After appetizers, beverages, gaming and dancing, the ladies redeemed their winnings for spectular gifts and prizes. This annual effort provides local moms and caregivers three-hours of respite to refresh and be the best mom they can be.

(L to R) Lauren Root, Katie Hamilton

(L to R) Lynn Clouser, Hope Montgomery

Elegant Potraits by Kian

3rd Annual Mom's Mingle N. Houston Therapy and Beyond is one of the largest privately-held ABA providers for individuals with autism and other developmental differences in the Mid-West. One of our goals each year is to give back to the autism community through free community events. This year we are partnering with Autism Moms Are Beautiful to bring North Houston moms an amazing Mardi Gras Party.

“I educated myself and got him into all sorts of therapies when he was younger. We tried it all. Some therapies worked and some didn't.”

Photo credit: Ross Photography Interviewed by: Nichole Wilson

Belinda

NW: When Sergio was diagnosed, how did you feel? BH: I honestly didn't have any emotions. I didn't know

what AUTISM was. I had to go home and google and

Hernandez

educate myself on Autism. I was given the diagnosis and some flyers on Autism. It took me over 18 months to get into the Meyers Center. By the time we reached that

I BELIEVE IN RAISING AWARENESS

appointment, he was already enrolled in all the therapies he needed to be in.

Belinda Hernandez is an awesome mom and advocate for the autism and special needs community. She is on

NW: Was Sergio hard to handle when he was

the AMAB committee for 2019-2020 and I am excited to share her journey and love with our awesome moms!

young? BH: No! Actually, he never has been. He has always

been huggable and lovable. Still though, to this day he is

Nichole Wilson: How has your experience been

very mischievous!

We did have some concerns when he

raising a child on the autism spectrum?

was younger, but I learned that redirecting his behavior

Belinda Hernandez: Life has at times been hectic,

helped him grasp not to do certain things. For example,

raising my son and his siblings. I have learned to be very organized and always plan ahead to keep myself on track. I made sure that my son was in all kinds of therapies when he was younger. I also made sure that my other kids were active in all sports and activities. I never wanted any of my children to feel that they couldn't be active because I was so busy trying to figure out what all needed to be done for their brother. I just had to learn to be on the go and to be very organized. We all have our moments on this journey with autism. We take the good and the bad. At times, it puts a strain on the marriage, but you just deal with it and keep moving on. Overall it's like an emotional roller coaster that is never ending.

when he was younger he always wanted to rock and bang his head. We always redirected that behavior and encouraged him to do something else, like jumping. He soon stopped banging his head against the couch or other items and learned just to stem by rocking and he left the self-harm out. NW: How do the siblings work and handle Sergio? BH: His siblings have always been amazing with him

ever since they were little. They all knew their brother was slightly different due to his stemming and being non-verbal. Growing up with an Autistic sibling just became part of the norm with the kids. Even now, his three-year-old sister helps take care of him. Page 31

BELINDA HERNANDEZ Feacbook Groups: RaisingÂ Awareness Inc. https://www.facebook.com/groups/raisingawesomeawareness/ Special Moms Support Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/1881020305543201/

The kids have always been very supportive in all aspects of their brother’s life. I always call my daughters, ”Little Mommas". They picked up the role so well in looking after him. NW: What would you have done differently with Sergio when he was younger? BH: Nothing really. I educated myself and got him into all sorts of therapies when he was younger. We tried it

all.

Some therapies worked and some didn't. What insurance didn't cover we paid out of pocket, but the one

thing that does come to mind is maybe we should have reached out and looked for other families to do more playgroup activities with other kids his age. I don't know, maybe that's one thing I would have done differently. NW: Do you have depressing moments? BH: Yes. There were lots of times where I felt that I was moving alone on this journey. I did not always have the

same circle of support I have now and it was hard.

It felt like I was going crazy on the inside but on the outside, I

was put together and all I could do was smile. NW: How do you bounce back? BH: I just try to focus on my kids and make some me-time. I try to get away for a moment to recharge and relax

for a bit. I enjoy meeting up with my friends for lunch. I find that is also a great escape. NW: What advice would you give to other Autism Moms? BH: You’re not alone on this journey! Reach out to your community. Find parent support groups near you. Above

all always love unconditionally!

GAYLE FISHER LET ME BRIGHTEN YOUR DAY

What does advocating mean to you?

"To me, advocating is what we do to support others, to overcome their own challenges, to be brave and try again. This is especially true the younger the person is. Our children can learn to accept responsibility for their decisions and their actions. That is our powerful gift to them for the rest of their lives, especially as they learn to rebound from failure. When John was 3, he transitioned from ECI to the school district, along with many other kids. That district meeting was just awful. The special education liaison should have been running a reform school, not destroying the fragile hearts of preschool parents. I ended up out in the back of the building, in the dark, in the dirt, in the bushes, brokenhearted. I had so much to learn and advocate for, and no one was going to do it for me. I have never felt so low. Not what I was thinking at the time, but she did me a huge favor: she turned me into a warrior mom. Another low point was John's third grade ARD, when I finally absorbed the isolation impact of Section 7, Code 44. I went from sleep-walking-through-the-ARD to hair-onfire .... it's stayed on fire ever since. There is great power and confidence in learning the tools, learning to say the direct things, not fearing the gentle art of confrontation. We have to be OK with putting our emotions aside, with doing our own research, and then never giving up."

Gayle Y. Fisher, M.Ed., Ed.Tech. Improving the World of Learning Differences

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AUTISM MOMS ARE BEAUTIFUL Page 35

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"It's going to be AUlright is a collection of stories written by 12 mothers whose children are on the autism spectrum. This collaborative anthology was created to provide a platform for mothers of loved ones living with autism to share life struggles and lessons learned that will encourage others. Our authors provide real stories, advice, and resources that will help readers achieve personal goals and take action. We want our readers to feel inspired to be bold, not to be afraid to try non-traditional approaches and not fear the diagnosis but rather embrace it and rebuild their lives. We hope after reading this powerful book, readers find strength and feel less alone on their journey." APRIL GREEN

ME TIME MOVIE TIME

Legislative Corner

Texans with IDD: The Fight for Justice Continues

The Arc of Texas Public Policy Team testifies for Senate Bill 753 November 2019. This bill transitions the Purchasing from People with Disabilities Program away from paying individuals with IDD less than the federal minimum wage, and improves employment outcomes for Texans with IDD by matching an individual's goals with their skills. In the Senate Committee on natural resources and economic development, a grass roots panel of autism moms, people with IDD and The Arc of Texas legal counsel testify on behalf of the education, employment and human rights of Texans with IDD. The HHCS waiver program is the hot button topic for provision of just services. Advocates say our adult kids on the spectrum deserve inclusion and no less than the minimum wage. Every time parents or caregivers of adults on the spectrum try to propel them forward in employment and education, basic rights and benefits are taken away from them. Justice is sought in the Texas Senate for a brighter future in 2020 on their behalf.

contributed by: Maria Merrick Be the Voice forYOUTH MAGAZINE Those Who Have None Page 40

The Autistic Mind "What's the haps?"

Marshall Jones "I like to dress up in my ties, sew, eat pizza, work out and eat healthy (at times). I find great joy in fashion. My biggest adventure was going to Disney World."

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(L to R) Raul, Raul Jr., Noah, Jessica, Ramon lonely walk due to the unknowns of autism. At first, we knew no one with autism nor had much understanding or support. We lost many friends and

RAUL JUAREZ

family due to changing our life and a complete change in our social life. We went from having many get togethers, going to every event invited too, putting others first... and then we made changes and began missing events. We slowly secluded ourself as we adapted to the not so pretty parts of autism and began putting Noah and our family first above all things, as it should be. Now, 4 years later, we are still adapting but slowly beginning to feel somewhat of a normal balance. We are trying to balance life with many dates, have outings with our older kids, enjoying family time, attending autism events and just doing our best to hang out with new and old friends and family that are still around. Raising a child with autism has been hard, scary, and sad, but it has also brought more patience, love, unity, understanding and has made our family the strongest it’s ever been. Autism has taught us that love is an action that is carried out, not paraded around, preached, or just posted about. It’s an action that is lived daily, in public and in private life. It is an action that is done without ever expecting anything in return.

AUTISM DAD Raul Jaurez is a wonderful father, husband and loves to serve and protect the community. He is supportive of his family. I enjoy viewing his Facebook page. Raul and Jessica keeps a smile on my face with every post. He is an Autism Dad who Rocks! I am so excited to share his journey with you fabulous readers! Nichole Wilson: How many children do you have? Raul Juarez: We have three amazing sons! Ramon is

18 years old, Raul Jr. is 13 years old, and Noah is 6 years old. Noah is our awesome son on the autism spectrum. NW: What has life been like raising a child on the Autism Spectrum? RJ: Honestly, it has been really tough and hard on

me and my wife. Sometimes it can suck. Other times, it can be beautiful. Often times, there is a Page 42

"You need to be your child’s voice, advocate and love them everyday and never give up! Don’t be afraid to reach out to me or other autism dads. You are not alone, we all want the best for our families." publicly, sharing the importance of autism awareness, training, communication and understanding with our police and autism community. It is my hope to build a better, safer future for us all. I pray and hope to continue helping our autism community in any way I can. I will speak up for our families and share an insight that I am blessed to have, as a law enforcement officer and as an Autism Dad. NW: Everyone has their own way of raising a child on the spectrum. How do you and Jessica balance the responsibilities as parents? RJ: Autism changed our financial situation. We

Autism has leveled up our appreciation in life. We value our health and time that we have on this earth. Raising Noah has been an awakening of the importance of inclusion for all in anything we do in life. NW: As a police officer, have you had an opportunity to educate the community on Autism? RJ: Thankfully, I left a small police department and

joined Houston Police Department a couple of years ago; it’s taken time and persistence, but slowly, they see the importance of building trust, communication, and understanding for our autism & special needs community. I have been blessed to share autism awareness on Isiah Carey's Fox News Show, other radio shows, special events and conferences. I also speak

went from a double household income to myself being the sole income provider. My wife took on the responsibility of being a full-time mom, four years ago. Jessica handles the majority of the home life and takes on a lot of the autism lifestyle, the good and bad! I tend to work a lot and try to pick up extra jobs and extra hours to make ends meet. Having a limited time off, our time off is priceless. I try taking time off as often as I can so that I can help out and spend time with all of our kids and help Jessica out or just give her a break.

To read the full article encouragement for Autism please visitDads!

NW: Please share some loving advice and

www.amabmagazine.com thought you would have, but shake it off and pull RJ: It’s ok to feel mad, sad, grieve the child you

yourself up, your child needs you! You need to be your child’s voice, advocate and love them everyday and never give up! Don’t be afraid to reach out to me or other Autism Dads. You are not alone, we all want the best for our families.

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LESSONS LEARNED My Grandmother taught me When a girl sits She crosses her ankles My Mother taught meÂ When a Lady sits She crosses her legs Life taught me A Woman does not Cross anything

POETRY FOR THE SOUL

She neither bends, stoops nor slumbers. A Woman stands A Woman fights, A Woman marches For All that is Good

MARIE BROWN

And All that is Right

FB: MARIE BROWN

If my Womanhood Intimidates Your Manhood Thou is just a boy.

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