Father’s Day Cont. on

On Buying Gold Cont. from Page 3

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You’ll never miss another copy of The Paper. We mail out on Wednesdays, normally it arrives in your mailbox on Thursday. Call us at 760.747.7119 and we’ll set it up for you!

Letters to the Editor? We love ‘em! Our Readers do as well! Send them to: thepaper@coxnet Social Butterfly Cont. from Page 3

worked with Senate President protem Toni Atkins to improve the process to report sexual harassment and holding offenders to account. Senator Bates currently serves as the Senate Republican Leader Emeritus, where she works with the Senate leadership to help the institution run smoothly.

The Republican Club of Ocean Hills (RCOH) believes in Republican values: individual responsibility, personal freedoms, limited government, a market economy, low taxes, and a strong national defense. RCOH currently meets on ZOOM. Our program on June 25th begins at 1:00pm, followed by our speaker at 1:15pm. For more information and the link to attend the ZOOM meeting, please email RepublicanClubOfOceanHills@gm ail.com or call John at 760-4976117. Check out RCOH at www.republicanclubofoceanhills.com.

Senator Patricia Bates

The Broadway Theater to Open

its Doors on June 18th- On Friday, June 18th, the Broadway Theater in Vista will open its' doors for the first time in 16 months. We are hosting a series of nine cabaret acts over the course of nine weekends to get ready for our Full Season opening in the Fall. Our first show stars two Broadway Theater favorites, Vanessa Kramer and Robert Alegria, starring in "Mayhem and Madness." An hour of comedy and song. Broadway, standards and classic hits. Playing dates are June 18 and 19, at 7:30pm, and the 20th at 2pm. All seats are $15. Masks must be worn the entire time you are in the theater. For Tickets, 760.806.7905. We can't wait to welcome you back to the theater.

North County HEAL Members

Needed - The Alliance for Regional Solutions is looking for new members in North County for the HEAL (Homeless Experienced Advocacy Leadership) Network. HEAL brings the voices of individuals with lived experience of homelessness into critical local discourse to advance and inform public policy solutions. Do you know someone who would be a good candidate for this leadership program? Please contact Marylynn McCorkle for more information - mmccorkle@regionalsolutions.net.

Father’s Day Card Cont. from Page 2

In the opinion of some dads, the five presidents above are not to be pitied for not fathering children. Because, as some contemporary fathers humorously state with a measure of exasperation: “Insanity is inherited: you get it from your kids!”

THE U. S. PRESIDENT WHO FATHERED THE MOST CHILDREN. Shocking, but true, our 10th U. S. President, John Tyler (1790-1862) had an astounding 15 biological children!

And keep in mind, that was before Viagra!

Today’s generation of dads face new ferocious challenges, such as the daunting task of helping their kids with their homework such as algebra, chemistry, and physics.

And if dad helps you on your homework assignments, don’t be surprised if you learn something new and different from your textbook, such as when dad explains that reason and logic separates us from the lower animals. And also, unlike dogs and cats, we’re not afraid of the vacuum cleaner.

It is totally unfair to expect dads to be perfect. They aren’t. When I was eleven I found this out when my Dad accidentally hung-up on Pastor Jones –only because our honorable church pastor was asthmatic and Dad mistook him for another obscene phone caller.

WHICH U. S. PRESIDENT MADE FATHER’S DAY AN OFFICIAL FEDERAL HOLIDAY? A. Calvin Coolidge. B. Lyndon Johnson. C. Richard Nixon.

Correct answer is “C” for Richard Nixon. Calvin Coolidge supported the idea but did not make any proclamation. Lyndon Johnson declared the 3rd Sunday in June as Father’s Day but it was not made a permanent federal holiday. It was President Richard M. Nixon who officially and formally declared it a holiday in 1972.

Today, all dads come with various nicknames, such as “Pop” or “Daddy” or “ATM machine.” Mom especially sees daddy as an ATM machine.

WHO GIVES THE MOST FATHER’S DAY CARDS? A. Sons and daughters. B. Wives. C. Grandparents. Correct answer above is “A.” Sons and daughters give 50% of all Father’s Day cards. Wives give an estimated 20% of all total cards. And approximately 30% are given by grandparents, uncles, brothers, nieces, and other extended family members.

All dads are modest enough to tell mom she shouldn’t really bother in picking out an expensive Father’s Day gift for him.

That’s because daddy knows he’s an ATM machine and where the money is really coming from.

DEPRESSION-ERA DADS ARE COMPLETELY DIFFERENT THAN MODERN DAY DADS. According to a recent BBC report, British researchers found that today’s generation of fathers – relatively speaking -- are unable to fix simple things like the older generation did. research found: “As head of the household, today’s generation of fathers live in a ‘disposable’ world’-- a world of gadgets and appliances that the under 40s generation cannot fix because they just expect everything to ‘just work.’ Young fathers today just chuck out their faulty appliances and buy new ones.”

On the heels of the research findings, one British commentator joked with a sentiment of truth: “Fathers back then were far more clever ‘fix-it-uppers’ and knew how to cut corners, financially. If it was too bloody expensive to fix the brakes on British motor cars, then the owner might very well suggest to the mechanic: ‘If I have bad brakes, then just make the horn louder!’”

SATIRICAL HUMOR OFTEN REVEALS THE DIFFERENT WORLDS OF YESTERYEAR’S DADS & TODAY’S. Unlike the dads of previous years, today’s generation of working dads know that a louder horn in his car may not be the answer to clearing rush hour traffic on even five-lane freeways.

Famous political and social satirical commentator, Lewis Black, weighed-in on the BBC research study by stating that today’s generation of dads should not give up completely on the Depression-Era horn concept.

“In today’s 2021 violent and insensitive world, a louder horn ain’t gonna do it,” says Black. “Go with the times. Instead of a louder horn, get a horn that sounds like gun shots! Today, that’ll clear up traffic pretty damned fast!” Sadly, such satirical humor does not stray far from the truth.

ALL DADS TEACH US WISDOM & VALUABLE LESSONS IN LIFE. In many ways, dads are a lot smarter and wiser than King Solomon, himself. They dispense lessons in life, such as how to fight fair: “Always remain civil and fair-minded in sports and even in debates. And never fight dirty.”

But, then again, never underestimate dads -- because they know how to fight dirty if they have to.

So, the “Never fight dirty” philosophy sometimes flies out the window.

Famous Jewish comedian and real-life dad, Billy Crystal, gives fair warning that when pushed too far, dads can fight dirty, but in disguised ways: “My Dad never got along with a cantankerous, rude neighbor of ours named Mr. Goldman (real name) who made life miserable for everyone. But my Dad never showed his anger openly in fear of setting a bad example of overt hostility for us kids. But when Mr. Goldman’s little boy turned 4 years old, my Dad gave him a trumpet for a birthday present.

“Odd thing was . . . Mr. Goldman was never known to be an early-riser. But that all changed at his little boy’s birthday party.”

Point being, dads know how to fight dirty if they have to. You just may not know it when they do.

ALL DADS HAVE ‘SURVIVAL SKILLS.’ By nature, all dads have keen survival skills. As Head of the Household, and protector of our families, here is a partial list of these skills.

Father’s Day Card Cont. from Page 5

HOSTAGE & NEGOTIATION SKILLS. Dads sometimes use this skill when negotiating with mom about the frequency of mothers-in-law visiting their house.

WARFARE & EVASIVE TACTICS. Like true Ninja warriors, all dads know how to disappear when it comes time to change diapers, help clean-up the house, attend Church services, and entertaining visiting mothers-in-law.

Sometimes dads wear camouflage fatigues from their military unit so mom can’t find him.

SECRET SURVIVAL TRAINING MANUAL. All dads have a survival manual titled, “Crouching Father, Hidden Toddler: A Zen Guide for New Dads.” This military manual helps fathers learn the hidden strength of a Samurai Warrior in facing-down a Mt. Fuji-high pile of dirty diapers that more resembles a landfill.

Also, when feeding the baby dads learn the Ninja-like instincts to know when a child will bite.

And the Buddha-like patience in case his instincts fail and he gets bitten anyway.

TWO GOLDEN RULES FOR ALL DADS. All dads have two unbreakable rules. 1. When dad is watching football on TV and mom happens to trip and fall down while carrying snacks for everyone, mom will have to wait until halftime before dad will leave the couch and help her up again. 2. Never tell dad to stop for directions if he should get lost in the car. Dads have their sense of pride. That’s why Moses wandered in the desert for over 40 years. Because he refused to stop and ask for directions.

HOW ‘AGING DADS’ LEARN & ADAPT. 1. As dads get older, it becomes necessary for them to keep pulling their pants up higher and higher. Eventually, this may cause some concern because as dads continue to wear their pants higher every year, they must learn to avoid getting their chest hairs caught in their pants zipper.

In time, dads might eventually resemble just a pair of pants with only his head on top. 2. Also, as dad gets older, his bladder and prostate get as large as a tuna boat, which means – through no fault of his own – dad pees a lot. Even if he doesn’t want to.

Regarding No. 2 above, popular comedian Larry the Cable Guy gives his own personal experience. “As all dads get older, their bladder begins bossing them around! For example, in the middle of the night I have to crawl out of a warm bed to pee. Over and over. One night I had to get up. Went to the bathroom. Then I stood there, like an idiot, just waiting – but without even a tinkle! With my hands on my hips, I just stared down at my plumbing, below. Running out of patience, and still looking down, I finally shouted out loud: “Damn it!! This was YOUR idea!! SUMMATION FOR FATHER’S DAY. Dads do not come with a manual. So they’re not always understood.

But one thing is for certain: they are priceless and indispensable in our lives.

And they often add sunshine to our lives with splashes of humor, because dads are naturally great storytellers.

Dads come in different sizes, shapes, and colors, but they’re all true Superheroes in our lives -- they just don’t wear a cape.

They need to be loved and cherished.

Because they work, live, and devote their entire lives in providing and protecting us during our most vulnerable years.

And even after we leave home.

They never stop being our dads.

When all is said and done, there is no cash register in the world that can ‘ring up’ dad – because he is priceless, and irreplaceable.

The easiest thing in the world . . . is just to love dad.

And he deserves that from everyone in the family.

Happy Father’s Day to all the dads everywhere.

You’re simply the best!

TO LEARN MORE ABOUT HUMOR AS THERAPY FOR SENIOR DADS (& MOMS): Log onto the Caregiver Website of the “American Society of Aging National Conference” and laugh along with famed mental health facilitator, 82-year-old Mary Maxwell, as she discusses “How Old Age Just Sort of Crept Up On Me” (which has been viewed by millions): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vP

The author, Friedrich Gomez

Friedrich Gomez, the author, with another superbly researched cover with this, his 174th cover story for The Paper. Friedrich is our most prolific writer and we, like you, look forward to his writing in The Paper!

Need Legal Ads? Call us! 760.747.7119

Dilemma in Treatment for Terminal Patients

Providing relief and dignity to terminally ill patients suffering from extreme pain can run into legal and bureaucratic roadblocks. SB 311 (Hueso), bipartisan legislation that recently passed the Senate, may help.

SB 311, known as Ryan’s Law, is named for Ryan Bartell, a terminally ill patient in Seattle who found that he was often unconscious because of opioids prescribed by his doctors to deal with his pain. He wanted to spend his remaining time with his 9-year-old son and other family members, so his father had him transferred to a hospital that allowed cannabis use. Within a day, he was alert and relatively pain free. He spent his remaining weeks visiting with friends and family, not in drug-induced sleep. use by terminally ill patients. There is also some indication that federal authorities don’t intend to enforce these prohibitions either. Even so, similar legislation was vetoed by the Governor in 2019, who wrote that healthcare facilities “must comply with all federal laws in order to receive federal reimbursement… therefore, I begrudgingly veto this bill.” This puts hospitals at odds with federal law - and that can be a big problem.

This bill could meet the same fate. I voted for SB 311 when it passed the Assembly Health Committee on June 8th. Final passage seems likely, but ultimately, the Governor and the federal government will make the final decision about compassionate use of medicinal cannabis by the terminally ill.

Obviously, many terminally ill patients would prefer to remain awake during their last weeks, but there’s a problem. While California allows medicinal and recreational use of cannabis, many healthcare facilities rely on federal funding. Since cannabis is a Schedule 1 controlled substance under federal law, healthcare facilities allowing its use risk losing federal aid. Assembly Republican Leader Marie Waldron, R-Escondido, represents the 75th Assembly District in the California Legislature, which includes the communities of Bonsall, Escondido, Fallbrook, Hidden Meadows, Pala, Palomar Mountain, Pauma Valley, Rainbow, San Marcos, Temecula, Valley Center and Vista.

SB 311 instructs the California Department of Public Health not to enforce prohibitions against cannabis

5th District Supervisor Jim Desmond

COVID-19 Relief

Last week, the Board of Supervisors voted to allocate over $600 million from the American Rescue Plan Act. These dollars, which have been distributed by the Federal Government, are intended for COVID-19 relief. The way I approached this: these are taxpayer dollars and I believe it should be given back to the people who were most impacted by the pandemic. As we all know, the past 15 months have been incredibly difficult, but my hope is these dollars will help San Diegans as we recover from the pandemic! While there were many different items, I wanted to highlight a few.

The restaurant and special events industries have been some of the hardest hit over the last year. As we head towards a full reopening, I want to make sure we do all we can to help the recovery of these businesses. The Board of Supervisors voted to waive County fees for both restaurants and special events. The cost for these fees is about $9 million in total but will be paid for with the ARPA dollars. they love. Youth sports participation is down in San Diego County, and I don’t want money to be the reason. Through my action, the Board made the decision to allocate $2 million towards a grant program for youth sports and youth camp tuitions.

As more San Diegans head back to their jobs, many children are still participating in school under a hybrid model. This leaves a huge need for access to childcare.

The Board voted to allocate $16 million to provide vouchers to families in need, grants to childcare providers, and investments in childcare facilities.

There were many other important causes that we were able to fund, which you can read about on the County website. This was an extremely important day at the Board and I’m hopeful it will jumpstart our road to recovery!

To contact

North County Office – by appointment only 325 S. Melrose Ave., Suite 5200 Vista, CA 92081 Mon.-Fri., 8:00 a.m.-5:00 p.m. Website: www.supervisorjimdesmond.com Email: Jim.Desmond@sdcounty.ca.gov

PROBLEM SOLVED

BY CHRISTOPHER ELLIOTT

Q: I recently called an Uber for a ride home. Usually, it costs $42, but Uber charged me $127. How can they triple the cost?

This is a rip-off. I've always paid $42, give or take a few dollars. Can you explain why I was charged two different prices for the same amount of miles? -- Jillian Desmarais, Lakeland, Fla.

A: That sounds like a rip-off to me, too. But is it? Charging extra based on demand is called "surge" pricing. In cases of "very high" demand, Uber says prices may increase to help ensure that those who need a ride can get one. According to the rideshare service, surge pricing lets the Uber app "continue to be a reliable choice."

But it does so much more than that. This type of dynamic pricing may also be the future of rideshare services such as Uber and Lyft. As demand for rides increases, so do prices. That's one reason why Uber is valued at $100 billion.

You can avoid surge pricing (or "prime time" pricing on Lyft) with a few easy tricks. The app normally alerts you to the price increase. If surge pricing applies in your city when demand increases in a specific area, that neighborhood will change color, according to Uber. The colored areas of the map will range from light orange to dark red. Light orange areas represent smaller earning opportunities from surge, while dark red areas indicate larger ones, the company says.

You can wait a while until demand goes down and then try again. Another popular trick: Move. If you walk or take public transportation to another part of town, you may be able to avoid surge pricing and your rates will return to normal.

Some areas are more prone to this type of pricing. A busy city center or a conference hotel at the end of a big event might be susceptible to higher fares. An area with less demand, like a quiet suburb, might never experience surge pricing.

Remember, you always have choices. If Uber is giving you a $127 rate, you can always download Lyft and try it. And if Lyft goes all prime time on you, you can switch back to Uber. Don't forget taxis (yes, they still exist) and mass transit. But the bottom line is: You have options. You should never feel that accepting an inflated price quote is your only choice.

If you feel you've been overcharged, you can also reach out to < a href="https://www.elliott.org/company-contacts/uber/">one of these Uber customer service managers</a>. I list their names, numbers and email addresses on my consumer advocacy site, Elliott.org. Christopher Elliott is the chief advocacy officer for Elliott Advocacy. Email him at chris@elliott.org or get help with any consumer problem by contacting him at http://www.elliott.org/help

© 2021 Christopher Elliott.

TRAVEL TROUBLESHOOTER

BY CHRISTOPHER ELLIOTT

Is my annual insurance policy refundable?

After the pandemic hits, Durndord King can't use his annual travel insurance policy from Allianz. Is it refundable?

Q: Before the pandemic, I paid $1,025 for an annual travel insurance policy through Allianz for my wife and me. She's in her 70s, and I'm in my 80s. Then COVID-19 came along, and we had to cancel everything we planned to do in Europe. So our policy became useless.

I asked Allianz if we could transfer our policy to next year when travel appears to be coming back. The company offered a 90-day extension, but it's clear that there will be no travel for us during those 90 days. I'd like your help to either get a refund for the useless travel insurance or have the policy extended for another year when it appears we will actually be able to make use of it. -- Durndord King, Santa Monica, Calif.

A: I'm sorry you had to cancel your trip to Europe. You would think that your travel insurance would be refundable, but it usually isn't.

Allianz travel insurance plans offer coverage for any trips that are more than 100 miles from your home and occur during the policy’s effective period. So it would have also applied to your trips within the U.S. to visit friends and family during the summer and holidays. If you want to cancel your annual travel insurance, you can do so for any reason and receive a prorated premium refund.

It appears you asked for an extension of your policy. Allianz was offering extensions during the pandemic on a case-by-case basis, so it offered you an extra 90 days of coverage. But you told an Allianz representative you couldn't use the extra 90 days, which is totally understandable.

Travel insurance companies have some flexibility when it comes to requests like yours. You could have appealed to Allianz online (I recommend a written appeal with any documentation). You could have also appealed <a href="https://www.elliott.org/company-contacts/allianz/">to an executive at Allianz</a>. I list their names, numbers and email address-

Historically Speaking

by Tom Morrow

The Queen Of The ‘Algonquin Round Table’

One of America’s greatest writers and poets known for her wit, sardonic, and satirical wisecracks was Dorothy Rothschild Parker. Known to most of her friends and admirers as “Miss Parker,” she was born Aug. 22, 1893, and was a founding member of the Hotel Algonquin’s “Round Table.”

In 1917, she met and married Edwin Pond Parker II, but they were soon separated by his World War II service. She had ambivalent feelings about her Jewish heritage and later joked that she married to escape her name.

Parker's career took off in 1918, while she was writing theatre criticism for Vanity Fair. At the magazine, she met Robert Benchley and Robert E. Sherwood. The trio began lunching at the Algonquin Hotel on a near-daily basis and became founding members of what became known as the “Algonquin Round Table.” Parker began developing a national reputation as a wit. Here’s an example of her dry sense of humor: When she heard of the passing of famously “silent” former president Calvin Coolidge, Parker remarked, "How could they tell?"

Parker became noted for her short, viciously humorous poems, many highlighting ludicrous aspects of her many (largely unsuccessful) romantic affairs. Some of Parker's most popular work was published in The New Yorker in the form of acerbic book reviews under the byline "Constant Reader." Her response to the whimsy of A. A. Milne's “The House at Pooh Corner” was "Tonstant Weader fwowed up.”

She had a number of affairs; her lovers including reporter-turned-playwright Charles MacArthur (who later was married to actress Helen Hayes). That relationship resulted in a pregnancy. Parker is alleged to have said, "… how like me to put all my eggs into one bastard.”

In 1932, Parker met Alan Campbell, whom she married two years later. They moved to Hollywood and would eventually earn $2,000 per week, and in some instances upwards of $5,000 per week as freelancers for various studios. She and Campbell worked on more than 15 films.

With Campbell and Robert Carson, Parker wrote the script for the 1937 Academy Award-winning film “A Star Is Born,” starring Fredric March and Janet Gaynor. The team was nominated for an Academy Award for Best Writing of a Screenplay. Parker wrote additional dialogue for “The Little Foxes” in 1941, starring Bette Davis. She received a nomination for an Oscar for the screenplay of “Smash-Up, the Story of a Woman” (1947), starring Susan Hayward.

During the Great Depression, Parker was among numerous American intellectuals and artists who became involved in related social movements. In 1937, she was a reporter for the Loyalist cause in Spain in the Communist magazine, The New Masses. Parker helped to found the Hollywood Anti-Nazi League in 1936, which the FBI suspected of being a Communist Party front. The Hollywood Anti-Nazi League's membership eventually grew to some 4,000 strong, later becoming a target for the House Un-American Activities Committee (HUAC).

The FBI compiled a 1,000-page dossier on Parker because of her suspected involvement in communism during the early fifties when Senator Joseph McCarthy, R-Wisconsin) was raising alarms about communists in government and Hollywood. As a result, movie studio bosses placed her on the Hollywood blacklist. Her final screenplay was “The Fan,” a 1949 adaptation of Oscar Wilde's “Lady Windermere's Fan,” directed by Otto Preminger.

Back in New York, Parker occasionally participated in radio programs, including “Information Please.” Both Ilka Chase and Tallulah Bankhead used her material for radio monologues.

Parker died on June 7, 1967, of a heart attack at the age of 73. Her executor, author and friend was Lillian Hellman, but her ashes remained unclaimed in her attorney Paul O' Dwyer's filing cabinet for 17 years.

Parker would have had some great observations about life in 2019.

“You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think.” “Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.” “The two most beautiful words in the English language are 'cheque enclosed.'" “One more drink and I’ll be under the host.” “I’d rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.” “I require three things in a man: he must be handsome, ruthless, and stupid.” “To cut on my tombstone: ‘Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment.’” And, an example of her poetry: “By the time you swear you’re his, Shivering and sighing, And he vows his passion is Infinite, undying Lady, make a note of this: One of you is lying."