AWOL Issue 48

HHAD

11 September 09

in cahoots with

HUA HIN AFTER DARK.COM FREE

WEEKLY

ABSENT WITHOUT LEAVE FOR THE EXPAT IN ALL OF US What’s happening, and might be happening, in Hua Hin

AWOL CAMPAIGN: ORIGINAL SOUNDTRACK MOVIES IN HUA HIN PETITION UPDATE: CURRENT TOTAL SIGNATURES = 371

Add your name NOW! Go to http://www.ipetitions.com/petition/English_movies_in_Hua_Hin/index.html

Tragedy Strikes Again Fatal car accident takes another expat’s life

hua hin, thailand A brutal crash at the intersection of the Khao Takiab turn off and the flyover in the early hours of Friday morning put Irishman Terry Murphy (pictured right) in a critical condition with internal injuries, and he died shortly after at Hua Hin Hospital from a coronary thrombosis brought on by the injuries.

Terry was alone in the vehicle and it is not known if there were any witnesses, but it is thought that no other vehicles were involved.

Apparently Terry was conscious and speaking at the hospital before his injuries overcame him. Friends who saw the wrecked vehicle said that it only looked like half a car due to the force of the impact.

A service and wake was being held yesterday (Thursday 10th September), and some of Terry’s family have flown over.

Terry had lived in the area for about

seven years, and was a popular figure in the expat community, involved in the pool league playing for Headrock Bar and seen out and about often. According to friends he had put his life back together after a bit of a rough patch, and was looking forward to his fiftieth birthday in the next week or two, making plans to get his retirement visa for Thailand.

This tragic accident only goes to

highlight once again the dangers of driving in Thailand, and even though this time it appears as though no one else was involved, the poor quality road surfaces, bad lighting and lack of road markings can all contribute to accidents such as this, so we should all be careful when taking to the roads here.

AWOL would like to extend their sincerest condolences to Terry’s family and friends, and hope that it is a long time before we have to report on anything similar.

INSIDE AWOL Competition English corner Weather Pool and darts Royal bubbles

AWOL birthday competition Win comedy night tickets worth 3,000 baht!

To make sure everyone has a chance of winning this competition we have extended the closing date to 20th September AND we are making it a bit easier. In this week’s issue we are listing the ‘hidden messages’ from issues 24 to 46, with clues to the artists/song/quote, (issues 1 to 23 were last week but you can download that issue from www.huahinmedia.com/awol), so all you have to do is name as many of the songs/quotes and the people who sang or said them. The most correct answers will win. In the event of a tie, please complete the following sentence in ten words or less: “I go AWOL every week because...”. The most original or humorous answer will be chosen by the staff at AWOL as the winner. The winner will be announced in our birthday issue.

Entries should be submitted to awol@huahinmedia.com with ‘COMPETITION’ as the subject title, or by hand in a sealed envelope with ‘AWOL COMPETITION’ written on the front to Sabai Bar (see ad p15) by 20th September 2009. Please include contact details. While the competition is meant as a bit of fun, there is a first prize of two tickets, worth 3,000 baht, to the hottest local event - the Hot Property Comedy night taking place on October 15th, featuring Bob Mills, Andre Vincent and Barry Castagnola. Win the AWOL competition and you could be laughing - literally! # 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46

Date 27th Mar 2009 3rd April 2009 10th 17th 24th 1st May 2009 8th 15th 22nd 29th 5th June 2009 12th 19th 26th 3rd July 2009 10th 17th 24th 31st 7th Aug 2009 14th 21st 28th

Message I’m just looking for clues at the scene of the crime Hey Man! The name of the Plymouth fastback is the Barracuda Don’t let the sound of your own wheels drive you crazy Red and yellow and pink and green, orange and purple and blue Fly me to the moon, let me sing among those stars The pictures on my wall are about to swing and fall And all that I knew was the hole in my shoe Someone began to discuss paranoia when lightning destroyed half the room We would zig zag our way through the boredom and pain Diving for dear life when we could be diving for pearls I’m never frightened or worried I know I’ll always get by Slowing they descend through the darkened sky to the night again Yes sir I can boogie but I need a certain song You never count your money when you’re sittin’ at the table And I don’t know whether to laugh or cry I remember the time I knew what happiness was Is it me for a moment, for a moment Walking back from your house, walking on the moon Her hair is hollow gold, her lips sweet surprise I’ll just sit tight through shadows of the night The kettle’s on so don’t be long, mon cher How come everybody wanna keep it like the Kaiser Takes me back to the place that I know

Sakura Sushi

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Clue Eagles guitarist Fishy fun This is easy!

Kids classic Lets be frank Is there an echo?

Not The Cars..

It was not, was it?

Wow! A flying pig!

Anti war song Dee mak mak Jazz headliners Spanish card game?

Take a chance FREAK! I forgot this one We are the mods You’re nicked, son Film star ‘Elo, ‘elo, ‘elo!

Take That!

It’s free and spicy Not Cliff, but CR

HUTSADIN ELEPHANT FOUNDATION

Help the Elephants of this area - many are now unable to be kept by their owners due to ill health, age or being unable to work any more. The Hutsadin Elephant Foundation will take care of these animals but needs both volunteers and donations to do so. Please help these gentle giants, or just visit them at the Foundation on the Pala-U Road.

www.hutsadin.org email: hutsadinhuahin@hotmail.com.

ILet

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“The local establishment with local prices”

Excellent Thai & Western food

Cajun/Louisiana style & Nightly Specials Our regulars recommend the BBQ Spare Ribs & the King Pork Chops

Thai & International Satellite channels Pool/ Darts & Karaoke (every other Friday)

To find us, travel north on the canal road past the traffic lights and turn left at the bridge after the petrol station and right immediately over it. We are on the right.

Tel. 032-522 418, 083-317-3008 12/10 Soi Samoprong, Hua Hin

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Local Weather

Hua Hin weather forecast next 7 days Day Conditions Temp 째C

Low High Sat Mainly cloudy, showers 26 33 Sun Partly sunny, showers around 26 33 Mon An afternoon t-storm or two 26 32 Tues A shower in the afternoon 26 33 Wed Cloudy, a shower; humid 27 31 Thur A shower in the a.m.; cloudy 26 31 Fri Cloudy with a shower; humid 24 32

World Weather

Forecast for Friday 10th September 2009 City Min 째C Max Conditions Amsterdam 12 20 Cloudy Athens 18 27 Rain Auckland 12 17 Drizzle Beijing 17 24 Overcast Berlin 14 23 Cloudy Buenos Aires 3 16 Cloudy Chicago 16 26 Cloudy Copenhagen 13 21 Cloudy Dubai 29 39 Clear Dublin 8 17 Fine Geneva 11 23 Fine Helsinki 8 18 Chance of Rain Ho Chi Minh 24 29 Thunderstorms Hong Kong 28 34 Thunderstorms Islamabad 20 35 Clear Jakarta 24 34 Cloudy Jerusalem 18 27 Fine Johannesburg 10 23 Showers Karachi 28 34 Fine Kuala Lumpur 24 32 Rain London 10 22 Bright Madrid 17 30 Cloudy Manila 25 30 Rain Mexico City 12 23 Rain Moscow 11 21 Fine New Delhi 25 30 Thunderstorms New York 14 18 Cloudy Oslo 7 19 Chance of Rain Paris 16 22 Overcast Perth 11 18 Rain Phnom-Penh 24 31 Thunderstorms Rio De Janeiro 20 29 Fine Riyadh 26 41 Clear Rome 15 28 Fine San Francisco 13 27 Fine Singapore 25 32 Thunderstorms Stockholm 9 19 Scattered Clouds Sydney 10 23 Fine Tokyo 19 28 Fine Vientiane 23 34 Chance of T-storms Yangon 21 31 Thunderstorms Zurich 10 23 Fine

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Currency Exchange Rates

At 10th September 2009 (mid-market rates) Code Currency Value (Baht) USD United States Dollar 34.046 GBP Pound Sterling 56.1861 EUR Euro 49.4413 JPY Japanese Yen 0.368584 MYR Malaysian Ringgit 9.7408 SGD Singapore Dollar 23.8834 BND Brunei Dollar 23.8834 CNY Chinese Yuan 4.98539 IDR Indonesian Rupiah 0.00343034 INR Indian Rupee 0.702415 KRW Korean Won 0.0276326 AUD Australian Dollar 29.2834 NZD New Zealand Dollar 23.7507 CHF Swiss Franc 32.5119 DKK Danish Krone 6.64209 NOK Norwegian Krone 5.74171 SEK Swedish Krona 4.82241 CAD Canadian Dollar 31.5627 AED UAE Dirham 9.27059 BHD Bahrain Dinar 90.5469 KWD Kuwaiti Dinar 118.751 OMR Omani Rial 88.5504 QAR Qatar Riyal 9.35331 AWOL makes no warranties, express or implied, regarding these rates and shall not be liable for any losses or damages incurred in connection with them.

Emergency & Useful Numbers Emergency Calls Police 191 Crime 195 Fire 199 Traffic Control Centre 197 Highway Police 1193 Tourist Police 1699 Tourist Service Centre 1155 Missing Persons Bureau 02 282 1815 Police Station at Hua Hin District 032 511 027 Cha-Am Police Station 032 471 321 Hua Hin Hospital 032 511 743 San Paulo Hospital 032 532 576 to 585 Hua Hin Red Cross 032 512 567

Useful numbers Hua Hin Tessabahn : 032 511 047 Hua Hin Immigration Office 032 513 574 Hua Hin Bus Terminal (non air-con) 032 511 230 (air-con) 032 511 651, 512 543 Hua Hin Railway Station 032 511 073 Tourist Information Centre 032 512 120 Hua Hin Electricity 032 512 215 Hua Hin Water 032 511 677 TOT 032 519 000/001 TT&T 032 532 018 British Embassy Consular Correspondent: Steve Ketteringham 086 7933461 or e-mail on steve@ketteringham.com

Your

DAILY LUNCH MENU At 120 Baht

Located in the heart of Hua Hin Petchkasem Road soi 70, (Corner Chomsin Road-Railway) Reservations: 032 511 913

MON: American spare ribs TUES: Pork Dutch pepper sauce WED: Belgian stew THURS: Italian spaghettis FRI: English fish and chips SAT: French beefburger SUN: Chicken German farmer sauce

Free mixed salad!

Enjoy your lunch

Hua Hin’s Hot Topics There have been a lot of questions for the expats this week as people turn to the forum in search of answers to some often quite bizarre requests. Many are simply asking where to buy certain items, however those items occasionally raise a few eyebrows. Starting with the sensible stuff the list has recently included distilled water, maids, aerial photography, grass seed, bedding, wood carving and pest control. Moving on to the realms of the strange we get TDS (total dissolved solids) meters, pith helmets and boomerangs. The mind boggles ... maybe Hua Hin’s expats are getting bored with beaches and golf!

Home insurance is becoming quite a commodity also as the number of reported break-ins around Hua Hin’s vast suburban hinterland continues to increase.

The lucrative property market has all but died a death and the big business now seems to be securing those houses from the plague of petty thieves that are drawn to the easy opportunities in the sprawling farang housing developments around Hua Hin. Many believe that the burglaries are being carried out by insiders, either building labourers on or near the development or friends of the local ‘security’ guards that are conveniently asleep for most of their shift.

A large number of homes on developments that are majority farang populated have been burgled and, in typical fashion, the police rarely take an interest beyond filling in the mandatory paperwork.

Rooms at 450, 690 & 950 Bt www.bluemoonhuahin.net

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There are a number of precautions that one can take; an alarm system may work but you’ve always got to worry about the people fitting it telling their mates how to bypass it. House contents insurance is an option but watch the small print, you’re often not covered if the house is unoccupied, and getting insurance companies to pay out is rarely easy. There is always the notion of moving to a Thai neighbourhood to make your home less of a target but then you’ll have to put up with packs of howling mutts, teenage scooter gangs, and all night karaoke bars!

The technical section is always quite popular for people to get a quick fix or recommendation for their computer. In recent weeks it has been filled with complaints about TT&T’s Maxnet and their shocking internet service. An ever increasing list of problems has arisen from Police warning messages blocking innocent websites (such as the BBC) to painfully slow web page loading for any site hosted outside of Thailand to their ever present email sending and filtering problems. AWOL ran a cover story on the poor state of internet connectivity in Hua Hin a few weeks ago and it looks like it has fallen on deaf ears as very little has changed!

For all of these hot topics and plenty more get online at www.huahinafterdark.com/forum/ - Hua Hin’s only active web community.

Important AWOL announcement We would like to inform our readers and business owners of a couple of changes in the pipeline; firstly, concerning advertising, as from 1st October 2009 our rates have been restructured, with some prices going up but others going down by as much as a third, to reflect the demand we have seen since we began. We will be sending these new rates to our existing customers, although all existing agreements will remain valid while they are continuous. If you do not receive yours, or would like to know our new rates, please email awol@huahinmedia.com. Secondly, concerning distribution, we now cannot guarantee copies of AWOL being delivered to non-advertisers, so our readers are advised to visit the establishments that do advertise to be sure of getting a copy. As and when more businesses advertise with us, we will increase the print run, page numbers and distribution accordingly. Our rates start from as low as 58 baht per week for a long term sponsorship deal, so we believe we offer the cheapest and most flexible print advertising in town.

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C B ut A v a W o uf t li n f h 1 O 7 y a is /0 d u L o l c u o o 9 n r T u /0 t m av p 9 il e e o a r n l n o (d f u r o t in r a k a nd s 1 n 0 % pr o t d es in is e c c n lu o t d u n at e t d )

Public House and restaurant

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Tetley Bitter on Draught Stowford press cider and Kronenbourg 1664 pints only 150 Baht each

Find out what’s going on at the Buffalo Tavern - contact Bill, Lorraine or nic on info@buffalobillshuahin.com Quiz nights, Tapas evenings, Chinese food specials & more Located on the corner of Chomsin and Naresdamri road opposite the fishing pier

parking for 100 cars in the fishing pier car park For bookings or more information call 032 530087 or 086 603 5335

Weird news

Wyoming, usa Firefighters dodge corks as wine truck burns Battling an intensely hot fire after a cargo truck crashed on a Wyoming highway, emergency crews were surprised to find themselves being shot at - by corks from exploding wine bottles inside.

‘The corks were popping out of the bottles like the old Jiffy Pop (popcorn) we grew up with,’ Wyoming Highway Patrol Lt. Scott Keane said, bringing an unnecessarily obscure cultural reference into proceedings.

‘My trooper got hit in the arm with one,’ he added.

The fire on Thursday was so intense it burned the trailer down to its axles, melted the tires and damaged about 75 feet of pavement in Wamsutter, Wyoming.

Besides the heat and flying corks, firefighters also had to deal with shattering bottles.

But Keane says no one was injured, and the truck driver escaped the fire. Keane says the wreck likely was caused by a locked brake or hub malfunction.

kuala lumpur, malaysia McCurry finally defeats McDonald’s in McPointlessLegalBattle Fast food giant McDonald’s finally lost its eightyear trademark battle against a Malaysian curry 6

restaurant on Tuesday, after the country’s highest court ruled that the curry house was allowed to use the prefix ‘Mc’ in its name.

Malaysia’s Federal Court dismissed an application by McDonald’s Corporation to appeal against an earlier Appeals Court judgment which allowed McCurry to use the prefix.

Chief Judge of Malaya Ariffin Zakaria, reading the verdict of the three-person Federal Court in the administrative capital, said McDonald’s had failed to properly frame its questions when applying to challenge the Appeals Court’s earlier verdict.

‘It is unfortunate that we have to dismiss the application with costs,’ Ariffin said.

McCurry, which is short for ‘Malaysian Chicken Curry’, serves Malaysian staples including fish head curry, according to the company website at www. mccurryrecipe.com.

‘We feel great that this eight-year legal battle is finally over, and we can now go ahead with whatever we plan to do such as opening new branches,’ McCurry owner P. Suppiah told Reuters after the court decision. of Appeal, which ruled in favour of the Malaysian

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English corner

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087 087 155 155 7737 7737 or or 089 089 985 985 7473 7473 136/334 136/334 Soi Soi 102, 102, Hua Hua Hin Hin (opposite (opposite Coconut Coconut Grove) Grove) Also find the Dartman here! !"#$%&'(%)*+%,-.)/-'%*+.+0 (see (see advert advert on on p. p. 17) 17)

brought huahinreport.com brought to to you you by by huahinreport.com

Have Have you you ever ever wondered wondered where where aa certain certain phrase phrase comes comes from, from, or or what what it it really really means? means?

Send your suggestions to us at awol@huahinmedia.com and we will do our best to find the origin of them. !"#$%&'()%*(++"*,-'#*%,'%(*%.,%./'012(.2-#3"$-.45'3%.#$%/"%/-00%$'%'()%6"*,%,'%7#$%,2"%')-+-#%'8%,2"34% Every Every week week we we will will expand expand your your knowledge knowledge of of English English and and its its etymology etymology with with aa different different word word or or saying. saying.

This This week week it it is... is...

Someone is walking over my grave A response to a sudden unexplained shudder or shivering.

‘Someone is walking over my grave’ seems a rather odd thing for a living person to say when experiencing a sudden shudder, so why is it said?

The 18th century saying derives from an old folk legend that a sudden cold sensation was caused by someone walking over the place that one’s grave was eventually going to be. This belief is in line with the workings of people’s minds in England in the Middle Ages, in which the distinction between life and death was much less clear than we see it now. There was then an unambiguous belief in the everyday communication between the afterlife in heaven or hell and the physical world of the living. When someone dies in our day and age we hold a commemorative gathering where we talk about the deceased person. Mediaeval mourners would hold wakes, in which they spoke to the deceased, in the belief that their words were being heard and understood.

A person’s final resting place would also have been understood to be predetermined and ‘someone has walked over my grave’ would have been said in the belief that a real person had actually walked over that area.

The earliest known record of the phrase in print, which is of course an indication of the earliest date that we can prove that the phrase was in public use, is in Simon Wagstaff’s A Complete Collection of Genteel and Ingenious Conversation, 1738. (Simon Wagstaff was one of the many pseudonyms of the celebrated writer Jonathan Swift): Miss [shuddering]. Lord! there’s somebody walking over my Grave.

The expression is sometimes found in the form of ‘a goose (or occasionally, a rabbit) walked over my grave’.

These are later and chiefly American variants and the ‘goose’ version at least appears to be a back-formation, derived from ‘goose bumps/goose pimples’ which are associated with a sudden feeling of chilliness.

The modern-day scientific explanation for sudden unexplained shuddering and for goose pimples is that they are caused by a subconscious release of the stress hormone adrenaline. This may be as a response to coldness or an emotional reaction to a poignant memory. Fanciful it may be, but somehow, we prefer the mediaeval version.

FOR SALE

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NEEDS YOU!

Part time sales staff wanted to sell advertising to businesses in the Hua Hin, Cha Am, Khao Takiab and surrounding areas.

250 SQ. WAH LAND Hua Hin Classifieds are FREE for Thai personal use and nationals with some English speaking skills and IN KHAO DANG small businesses, however all classifieds are subject own transport preferred but any applicant considered.

PRICE 2,000,000 BAHT to approval and will not appear instantly.

Call 081 649 8361 (Eng) or 081 614 8728 (Thai/Eng) or email (8,000 BAHT/SQ. WAH) Selected adverts will appear every awol@huahinmedia.com week in the area’s only to apply or for more information.

CALL 081 571 3003 (JA) free weekly English language publication, AWOL

77

Soul To

!"#"$%&'())*&+,$&-*).

Count www.classifiedshuahin.com Hua Hin Classifieds are FREE for personal use and small businesses, however all classifieds are subject to approval and will not appear instantly.

Selected adverts will appear every week in the area’s only free weekly English language publication, AWOL

Your STARS

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A pickled egg, saveloys and a large portion of chips sounds good doesn’t it? Well, that is exactly what our monkey mystic required this week to give up his fantastic fortunes, so many thanks to Ben for taking the thousands of miles round trip to satisfy Spanky, who recommends ‘Fishy, fishy, fishy’ in Southall.

Capricorn Dec 22 - Jan 19 Assuming Uranus is in your house, and Mars is ascending, I could tell you a load of crap about this week’s fortune. But I won’t lie to you; I’m no astrologer.

I’m a horoscopologist.

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 To ward off uninvited guests, you should stop using your toilet for number twos. Instead, hunch down on the porch. I suggest you start this practice before Monday.

Pisces Feb 19 - Mar 20 Early on Saturday night you’re going to encounter a disturbing stranger. At first sight he’s not so scary, but when he puts his head on the table so that he can pour a beer straight down his throat, you wake up screaming.

Aries Mar 21 - Apr 19 When a purple full moon fills the sky, and all the stars disappear from sight, you can be quite certain someone slipped something amazing into your drink.

Taurus Apr 20 - May 20 Beware of birds flying upside down, dogs running backwards and missing manhole covers.

They’ll all be part of you being thrown out of a local establishment by your feet.

Gemini May 21 - Jun 21 Beware of starch-like food with an R in the name. Instead stick to the always familiar food basis that sounds a little like tomato. Come to think of it, tomatoes won’t harm you much either. Unless you’re the keynote speaker at the local town hall.

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Cancer Jun 22 - Jul 22 Protect yourself from meteorites and low flying F16 jets with a large steel umbrella. People will wonder about your sanity, but at least you’re safe!

Leo Jul 23 - Aug 22 Some activity is coming your way that is going to cause the world quite some harm; it’s a duty many people have, but few will cause so much damage as you, provided you continue the task. At all cost, try to avoid breathing from Sunday afternoon till late Monday morning.

Virgo Aug 23 - Sep 22 This week, don’t worry about eating apples, pears or grapes. They’ll do you well, unless you eat them with drinks that have the letter P in them.

Libra Sep 23 - Oct 23 Proposals are supposed to be romantic, and well planned. A nice dinner, a quiet dance, a bottle of champagne and a nice diamond ring. You’re such a desperate loser you’ll say yes without any of that!

Scorpio Oct 24 - Nov 21 Spanky the Monkey was in a mood today, and told you this: Ain’t got no place to lay your head, somebody came and took your bed, the landlord say your rent is late, he may have to litigate. But after all, just don’t worry, and be happy.* Sagittarius Nov 22 - Dec 21 Your natural insight in the most complicated situations and problems is going to leave you altogether this week. When the proverbial poo hits the fan, you’d best just split. Hitting someone over the head with his beer Chang bottle won’t put you in a position to mediate. * With many thanks to Bobby McFerrin.

PUB & CAFE HUA HIN

Send your jokes to awol@huahinmedia.com and get your name in print!

Brought to you by The Railway Tavern

SOI 88

085 429 0378

If you like a laugh, don’t miss the Punchline Comedy Club live at Hot Property on Thursday 15th October.

This will be the last one in Hua Hin and has a superb line up of Bob Mills, Andre Vincent and Barry Castagnola. Ticket price is 1,500 baht, but buy before 30th September and get them for only 1,200 baht! Price includes FREE beer, wine and spirits ALL NIGHT plus food provided by Anantara Resort & Spa. Tickets available from Hot Property 032 533 333.

You can win two tickets to this great show by entering the AWOL birthday competition (details on page 2)

bill and sam (Thank you Patrice!)

Bill and Sam, two elderly friends, met in the park every day to feed the pigeons, watch the squirrels and discuss world problems.

One day Bill didn’t show up. Sam didn’t think much about it and figured maybe he had a cold or something.

But after Bill hadn’t shown up for a week or so, Sam really got worried.

However, since the only time they ever got together was at the park, Sam didn’t know where Bill lived, so he was unable to find out what had happened to him.

A month had passed, and Sam figured he had seen the last of Bill, but one day, Sam approached the park and -- lo and behold! --there sat Bill! Sam was very excited and happy to see him and told him so. Then he said, ‘For crying out loud Bill, what in the world happened to you?’

Bill replied, ‘I have been in jail.’

‘Jail?’ cried Sam. ‘What in the world for?’

‘Well,’ Bill said, ‘you know Mary, that cute little blonde waitress at the coffee shop where I sometimes go?’

‘Yeah,’ said Sam, ‘I remember her. What about her?’

‘Well, one day she filed sex charges against me; and, at 89 years old, I was so proud that when I got into court, I pleaded guilty’ ‘The damn judge gave me 30 days for perjury.’

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DEAR MARY, I read a report recently that if you use vibrators too much you can damage your health. Is this true? If it’s true would the same go for masturbation?

Shaky Susan, Samui Mary says:Dear Shaky, Unfortunately it’s only too true. My aunt, whose husband was frequently away on business, used her vibrator so much she eventually went totally deaf. She also developed a severe case of the shakes, erroneously diagnosed as Parkinson’s Disease by her doctor. My fourteen-year-old niece used to tremble so much when she was playing with her Harry Potter broom that she ended up on tranquillisers. She blames it on the trains that rattle past her bedroom window every hour, but the rest of the family know what the dirty little slut gets up to behind closed doors.

Relationship woes?

Bar girl blues?

Sexual deviant?

Send your problem to Mary Ann Cotton on awol@huahinmedia.com

DEAR MARY, Recently I have become very irritable and short tempered with my colleagues at work. The problem is that my wife always seems to have a headache whenever I ask her for sex and it’s making me sexually frustrated. I don’t want to be unfaithful to her, and I can’t afford one of those American Love Dolls, but if things go on like this, I will lose my job. What should I do?

Itchy, Nong Khai Mary says:Dear Itchy, The solution to this very common problem lies in your own hands. All you need to do is to pop round to your local chemist and buy some powdered aspirin. The next time your wife complains she has a headache, dip your ‘best friend’ in the aspirin and give her the choice of taking it orally, or as a suppository. Whatever she decides, or if she decides to take it both ways, it will relieve her headache and your frustration at the same time.

COOKIES has opened in Khao Takiab!

Opening party on Saturday 19th September from 7pm Free buffet - all welcome - see map on next page

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Spirit

Visit the village discover Khao Takiab Advertise here for only 200 Baht per week!

Advertise your Khao Takiab business here!

This size only 150 baht per week!

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Have your party or celebration here for FREE (minimum 30 people) Live music & food available Phone: Fluke: 084 159 5502

Put yourself on the map!

COOKIES “A big name in this town”

Ice cold beer - Spirits Bar snacks - Pool Music - Live sports It takes the biscuit!

084 569 5537 brithai@hotmail.com

Sunset Boulevard Bar and Cafe

Noy 084 359 7545 or Mike 084 376 9438 email: mikesmiththailand@gmail.com

Bob & Noks Bar

Home of Khao Takiab Golf Society Motorbike / Car Rentals Club hire 089 586 1700

International Wines, Bottled & Draft Beers Two satellite systems showing live sports Tel 032 511624

SIAM CONSULTING HUA HIN CO. LTD. COMPLETE EXPAT INSURANCE SOLUTIONS HEALTH (up to age 85), CAR, HOUSE, COMMERCIAL VR BROKER AGENT

084 849 7208 or 032 512075 franckphuket@hotmail.com

11

brought to you by

Sponsor this section!

Contact awol@huahinmedia.com

Sudoku Hints For Beginners Look for the obvious. Is there a row, column, or region that has one cell unsolved? If there is you can quickly find the solution. Count from 1 to 9 locating each number in that row, column, or region. The missing number is the solution for that empty cell.

Where do you start? It is better to have a systematic approach to solving Sudoku. A good way to start is by first looking for a number that has the most “givens”.

Look for the only possible choice. Sometimes you will encounter the situation where there is only one place a number can possibly go. This is discovered by working systematically through each line and box in turn. Good luck!

Last week’s solutions Puzzle 1

Puzzle 2

Puzzle 2

Disclaimer: All articles are published in good faith and based on information available to us at publication, No responsibility is accepted other than that stipulated by law. Although the information in this publication has been obtained from sources believed to be reliable, AWOL cannot guarantee accuracy in all cases. Any opinions expressed are those of the contributor and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher.

All materials copyright. All rights reserved and no part of this publication may be reproduced in part or in full without the previous written consent of the publisher. Neither can any part be stored in a retrieval situation, nor transmitted by electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or any other means.

AWOL is printed by Petchpoom Printing, and we can be contacted on awol@huahinmedia.com or 081 649 8361.

AWOL Co. Ltd., 136/229 Emerald Hill, Soi 6, Mooban Borfai, Hua Hin, Prachuap Kiri Khan, 77110, THAILAND.

12

Give

AWOL Sudoku Puzzle 1

Across 1. Bad luck (10) 6. Cook just below the boiling point (6) 7. Illustrious warrior (4) 10. Dish of raw vegetables (5)

brought to you by

11. Drive back (5) 12. Metal-bearing mineral (3) 13. Seizes with teeth (5) 14. Small assemblage (5) 16. Respiratory organ (4) 18. Takes fright (6) 19. Significance (10)

Down 1. Thin fogs (5) 2. Ignorant person (9) 3. Excessive dose (8) 4. Exclamation of disgust (3) 5. Small pond (4)

Fly

Quick XWord

8. Act of exploding (9) 9. With child (8) 13. Ringing instrument (4) 15. Deputised group (5) 17. Breach (3)

Last weekâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s solution right

13

CLASSIFIEDS Business

Paintball Park business for sale, located in a busy area with elephant show/rides, ATV’s, horse rides, jet ski’s & water sports, offering great potential for increased business, as well as many regular clientele, includes ownership of all equipment, Guns, Masks, Boots, uniforms, paintballs, tools, Gas bottles large & small, All current advertising as well as complete playing field fully fenced with obstacles & Building with 3 rooms, kitchen, bathroom, large office/lounge area, air conditioned & fully furnished. Rent is only 12,500 Thai baht per month paid up until January 2010, for Approx. 2 Rai of land, with 7.5 yrs remaining on lease,(2.5yrs plus option for 5yrs). Fully staffed. A Great opportunity to get involved in this fast growing & popular sport. 750,000. Now Reduced for quick sale due to medical reasons, 600,000 Thai baht o.n.o. All offers considered. Be Quick Must Go!!!! ph: +66 (0) 80 616 0458 Hua Hin Thailand. Email: splatpaintball@live.com BOAT TOURS FISHING snorkelling tours to suit your needs from 1850 to 2300 baht p/p. Private charter available at very good rates. Call for more details 0837336695 Kannika Guesthouse/ Bar for sale. Central Hua Hin fully furnished Guesthouse with restaurant / bar and 4 rooms all with a/c, tv, fridge, double beds and 3 of the rooms are equipped with jacuzzi. The lease left is 4 years and rent is paid until May 2011. The Guesthouse is situated just 2 minute walk from the night market, golf course, train station and Bangkok Bus Stop. In less than10 minutes walk you reach the beach. If you need more info call me on 086 644 1380 Convenience Store for Sale at the Grand Hotel Night Market, Great location, going concern. great potential for expansion, It has regular foreign and Thai customers. Genuine good reason for selling. 450,000 thb. Call 0811455298 for English or 0854709158 for Thai. bar/ restaurant/ guesthouse in Hua Hin centre partner/manager preferred, price negotiable but will lease for 1 million baht key money, rent 480,000 baht per annum and deposit of 200.000 for fittings and furnishings, or sell for 10 million baht. Contact Steve on 080 616 0458 for more details.

Employment Primary School Teacher wanted.

Qualifications: BA Hons Primary Education with QTS or equivalent. Minimum of 2 years experience in the Uk. We are looking for an enthusiastic primary school teacher who is self motivated and willing to assist in developing the curriculum in a new ‘Home Learning’ project in Hua Hin. If you are interested and suitable for this post, please call Emma on 08704 89558 Qualified English Teacher Seeking Employment in Hua Hin Hello, my name is Kelley Murphy, I am an American citizen, University educated with a Juris Doctorate from the United States. I have just moved to Hua Hin from Phuket where I lived and taught for one year. I am seeking employment as a teacher and am available immediately. I was TEFL certified in June of 2008 in Patong, Phuket.I have experience teaching front of house hotel staff, private language lessons, TOEIC and TOEFL preparation and kindergarten students. Please contact me via email at kartist31@gmail.com or by phone at 0898685771. Thank you.

awol needs you! Part time sales staff wanted to sell advertising to businesses in the Hua Hin, Cha Am, Khao Takiab and surrounding areas. Thai nationals with some English speaking skills and own transport preferred but any applicant considered. Call 081 649 8361 (Eng) or 081 614 8728 (Thai/Eng) or send an email to awol@ huahinmedia.com to apply or for more information.

Part time teachers wanted. We are seeking part-time Native English speaking teachers. Must have credentials. Also seeking Native Thai teachers to teach Thai to English speakers. Age not important. Male or Female. Facility is licensed by Ministry of Education.

Email CV with photo to: bapakdon@gmail.com

General Running Machine for sale, second hand, 10,000 baht, OTO, call 0870070069. triple wardrobe as new - selling due to lack of space in new home! 2500 baht or near offer. Contact Bobby on 087 155 7737 CD collection for sale - over 300 original music CDs ranging through Rock, Pop, Jazz, Blues, Soul and more. Includes some rare promotional copies and box sets of The Jam, The Clash and Stevie Ray Vaughan.

Offers on individual items or whole collection considered.

Contact Steve on 081 649 8361 Child’s cot/playpen for sale. Folds down into carry bag. Includes nappy changing table, mosquito net, useful storage pockets and mattress. Only 1 year old, new was 6000 baht, will sell for 3000 or offers.

Call Steve on 081 649 8361.

Classic British Comedy. All of the old British Comedy classics (complete series)plus cult movies (60’s onwards) and documentaries. call me on 081-8113845 New Sofa Bed for sale. Red fabric, never used, good quality. 5,000 Baht. Contact 0810180558 Books – Baht 100 each, 3x Red cotton rugs 1.75cmx80cm Bt 500 each, Chinese patterned carpet 3.2mx2.35m Bt 9,500, Chinese carpet 2.90m x1.80m 7,500 Baht. New from Index Fagor DeLonghi 3 litre deep fat fryer – Baht 3,500, New Electric hair trimmer- Baht 550/-, New Remington Electric ceramic rollers – Baht 950/-.

Twist and Shape lateral Thigh Trainer - Baht 2,900/-.

Original Oil Paintings.Bookcases x 2 155x100x25cm @ Baht 5,000/- each, Rosewood Floor Lamp with shade - Baht 4,500/-, Rosewood Bar with 2 stools and large wine cooler Baht 45,000/-. 084 112 8873 tanglewood 12 string acoustic guitar, solid body, 15,000 baht ono. Contact Steve on 080 616 0458 internet modem only 1000 baht o.n.o.

Contact Steve on 080 616 0458 For sale Sanyo triple fridge freezer, 6 months old, due to close of shop. Height 81”, Depth 30”, Width 70”.

Cost 36,000 Baht new, would accept 26,000 baht... Phone: 087-168-4654, or 082-241-0460. Ask for Peter or Pin. Golf Clubs for Sale. Callaway Big Bertha 460 Driver 10.5 loft, Mid torque, mid kick Callaway 80 gram shaft. (On R&A conforming list) Matching 3 and 5 fairway metals. Wilson 7 utility club. Cleveland (tour action) TA7 Irons, 3 to Sand Iron, dynamic golf steel shafts. Odessy White Steel 2 ball putter + Wilson Pro Staff putter. Titleist Black golf bag. All clubs genuine, no copies. Price 17000 Baht. Contact birdieboy52001@yahoo.com

Motoring Harley PM, 1450cc, 2000 Model, Black, Former Heritage Softail. New design with PM parts & accessories. Reduced to 990,000, call 0860100200.

Quad bike with front and rear racks, 150cc, Automatic, reverse gear, green, 30,000 baht, call 0860100200.

Suzuki DRZ 400, electric start, Yellow, like new, with invoice papers. 140,000 baht call 0860100200.

Vespa 150 Sprint, 1984, fully restored, Green, very rare with original green book in my name. 50,000 baht call 0860100200.

Yamaha 500 Tmax, 2006, Automatic, Blue, Super scooter with book. 195,000 baht call 0860100200.

Yamaha WR 400, off road motor crosser, year 2000. 68,000 baht cal 0860100200.

Yamaha YZ 250 F, 2008, Blue, off road crosser.

All invoice papers 1 owner. 160,000 baht call 0860100200.

Honda Clubman GB400, Tourist Trophy, 11,000km. Good condition, 58,000 baht call 0860100200.

Second Hand Suzuki Steps and Nouvo’s for sale, good condition, bargain prices, call 0860100200 for prices and details.

Honda CBR 954 Fireblade, 2002, Invoice papers.

165,000 baht call 0860100200.

Suzuki Carry Pick Up for sale, gas multi injection system, good condition. 295,000 baht call 08600100200.

Suzuki GSXR 1000 K3 for sale. Year 2003, Invoice papers, very fast, reduced, now a bargain. P/X possible, good condition, 199,000 baht! Call 0860100200.

TAXIS BANGKOK AIRPORT Pattaya at very competitive prices. Call Kannika on 0837336695 motorbike and side for sale or rent. if you dont have a car,why not buy or rent a motorbike and sidecar. great for shopping or larger items. For details call 087107 8901 200cc 4 stroke bike well cared for with foreign owner only, never a rental, 16,000 km matching sidebags and front bag, brand new tires, new chain and sprockets, new filters and about 10 percent more power than normal phantom thanks to a mod, blue uv under lights. 45,000, 0841832806 MOTORBIKE FOR SALE - Honda ZX 50cc, no registation/no insurance/no licence required, good as new, 407km on clock - 11,000 baht - Contact Mick - 0870129615 Jeep for sale. 1989 Willy Jeep. In good condition and can be viewed at anytime. Sale price: 300,000 THB. Contact via email: steve@ketteringham.com Land Rover L.W.B. Dark green, Isuzu diesel engine fully serviced, new tyres, good condition, 175,000 baht. Phone Sheila 081-006-4010 For sale, 1975 Mercedes Benz 200 automatic, white colour. Good condition, original paint, airconditioning. Recently serviced. Price: 150.000 baht negotiable. Phone: 081-0108216 (English)

Personals Are there any like-minded people who are interested in miniature dolls houses living in Hua Hin; and who would like to get in touch with a very enthusiastic miniaturist? If so please email...nevandeve@gmail.com

If you wish to place a classified advert in AWOL, please either send an email to awol@huahinmedia.com or write out the details clearly in BLOCK capitals on paper and deliver it to Noi at Sabai Bar, Soi Selekam by 6 pm on the Tuesday before the issue you want to be included in. All adverts are free and will be included for 4 weeks automatically except for property or business adverts - please contact AWOL on awol@huahinmedia. com for prices and details. Please register on www.classifiedshuahin.com to place your ad there free of charge; a selection from there will be in AWOL every week.

14

Rentals

Technology

FOR RENT Twin/Double room in house on Soi Naebkehardt (near Soi 51). 10 Min walk to town or 2 Min by motorbike. Shared living and kitchen facilities.

Air con (or fan), UBC Satellite TV, Off street parking. Suit couple or 2 sharing. (Inclusive Electricity, Water, UBC) Call Ray on 0827278568 or Email raymathiesen02@aol. com House for rent Soi Hua-Hin 104 27,000/month House on area 80 Sq. 4 bedrooms , 2 bathroom, 1 living room, kitchen, microwave,fridge., washing machine, water heater, fully furnished, telephone, TV with local cable, garden, and carplots,etc. Near the beach, Shopping mall, market, Bank. Long term /short term please contact: beer Tel.081-3488629 or e-mail brew2beer@yahoo.com Beautiful 3 Bedroom Villa, two bathroom Villa for rent close to Hua Hin town center. Full western kitchen, A/C, hot water, modern decor and furniture, sleeps six, and a refreshing swimming pool out the front doorstep. Available by the day,week, month or longer.

18,000 Baht per month craigchapman@shaw.ca Luxury studio condo for rent. Very comfortable studio apartment in Hua Hin in a brand new boutique condominium block. 5 minutes walk from the Night Market, 10 minutes from the centre of the city, bars and nightlife and the beach. King sized bed, flat screen TV, balcony, air conditioning, free Internet, large swimming pool, fitness room and sauna. 24 hour security, car and motorbike parking. Available daily, weekly or monthly please email nickargles@yahoo.co.uk ROOMS TO RENT: Air conditioned, en-suite furnished, TV and DVD. bar & restaurant on site. Pool and other facilities 10 mins from town centre. From 6000 Bht per month Contact Chris: 0833111787 or pernodchris@ hotmail.com

Denon UD-M30 This fabulous all in one hi-fi system is in perfect working order .This is a great sounding unit that is held in high regard by anyone that has heard or reviewed it. It is very versatile and is perfect for those that want a really smart looking unit to attach their ipod to as it already has an amp, cd player and RDS tuner built in, just add speakers of your choice and away you go. INPUTS/OUTPUTS - optical digital out, PRE OUT with mono/stereo switch(to connect to a power amp if you wanted an evn more powerful sound), 2 x line inputs, 2 x system connector sockets, AM/FM aerial sockets, headphone socket, AC switched outlet. FUNCTIONS - function button, tone/sdb, menu/set, all cd function buttons, volume. Dimensions - 21x33x9.5wdh(cm). Have Operaters Manual.Will consider exchanging for Nokia 6300 mobile phone or similar. B2000. Speakers are free.

Phone :0871 686 196 or Email petertucker21@gmail.com Website design and marketing services Professional website design, marketing and maintenance services. Get it done locally and save the money and hassle.

We can also offer search engine optimization and link marketing solutions. Digital Metrix are well established in Hua Hin and offer only the best, call our sales office on 032-533371 or visit our site www.digitalmetrix.net

TA K E I T E A S Y AT

Sabai Bar Relax with an ice cold beer and a friendly welcome from Noi and the girls Get updated on the Hua Hin Golf Society with Kevin Play pool with the many regulars Open every day from 12 Noon‘Til Late Visit Myanmar - Play golf in the Golden Land Escorted CustomTours - Enquire within

Find us at 5 Soi Selekam, Hua Hin - from the Hilton go north along Naresdamri Road, take the first left and then the first right, and we are 40 m along on the right

Contact us: Noi 086-174-6165 Kevin 089-913-7926 email kevinmilke@yahoo.co.uk

Wanted 7’ pool table and any other bar fittings, furniture and equipment for new bar. Please contact Bobby on 087 155 7737 PUSH BIKE REQUIRED Adult size push bike required in reliable condition. Hua Hin area. Phone Chris 08011 30320 Guest House. Looking to purchase a well-run guesthouse with a minimum of 10 rooms and a restaurant or other attached business. Contact via email: craigchapman@shaw.ca

INVESTMENT OPPORTUNITY FOR RESTAURANT/TAVERN OPERATORS A three storey, three units building located on a main soi to several housing sub-divisions; one of the units is double size.

The Restaurant/Tavern occupies the double unit and has been operating since 2007 with steady positive growth. The core clientele are resident farangs with Thai families, thus the business is not dependent on high season and the tourist trade. The second floor consists of six rooms plus three baths and storage areas.

The entire third floor is a two bedroom, two bath townhouse with deck.

The staff are completely trained and capable of total operation. This is a walk-in takeover opportunity for a select investor.

This chanute property is open to sales offers and business proposals.

Please call 083 317 3008 for more information.

15

Into

Property Land for sale on Palm Hills, 741sq rai. Family life time membership. Bargain Price 9,800,000 baht, call 0860100200.

House for sale, Tippawan Village, Corner large plot, 3 bed, 3 bath. Room for a pool. Lots of extras in the house, it’s well worth a look. 5,200,000 Baht call 0860100200.

ECO FRIENDLY PEST control, non toxic, stain free, odourless domestic and commercial contracts available. Call for more details 0899109367 Steve Land Wanted - Banyan Approach Road.

Interested in purchase of about 3 to 5 Rai suitable for a small private development. Specific area of interest is the approach road to Banyan Golf Club from Soi112.

Must be realistically priced and adjacent to the tarmac approach road. No agents or overpriced offers. Immediate completion for the right offer. Reply to zeatrip@yahoo.com two bungalows for sale in the Kao Noi area, only 7 mins to Hua Hin town centre and beach. Both have 2 double bedrooms with air con and en suite bathrooms, large lounge/dining and European kitchen. One is fully furnished with completely fitted kitchen incl. appliances and jacuzzi in main bathroom at a bargain price of 3.6m baht, the other is unfurnished, available for 3.2m baht.

Buy both for 6.4m baht. Contact 084 727 3863 for viewing and more details.

Land for sale, in prime location. Almost 2 Rai of land for sale nestled below a spectacular mountain view and 4 kilometers to the sea. Situated next to the popular Tippawan and Tropical Hill projects in Smorprong. 4 Kilometers from Hua Hin town centre, 2 kilometers to the palace. There are 9 top class golf courses within 20 kilometers of the land, and only 3 hours to Bangkok international airport. Ideal development land for a small project. Access to a quiet public road directly from the land, water and electric in place 6 million baht. stevecarter44@hotmail.com

LUCKY SHOT BAR

Hua Hin’s only pool bar with THREE 9’ tables Ask about our drinks specials and other special offers Contact Andy on 086 178 1550 27/3 Poolsuk Road, Hua Hin

Hua Hin Social Pool League Results Week 16 – 2nd September 2009 No Game v Billys JW Black v Jungle Juice A 6-13 Headrock v Sabai 7-12 Limelight v PP 9-10 U Turn v Red Bar 13-6 Jungle Juice B v Lazy Daze 11-8 Billys Babes v JW Red 9-10 Week 17 results next week

Hua Hin Pool Leagues

Hua Hin Pool Billiard League Results Matchday 20 4th Sept. 2009 Home LSA DB LSB RTB SUG TW EAG JWR

Rks 17 4 16 14 5 13 18 7

Pts 6 0 5 5 0 4 7 1

Away LST LSS OCT DA SB JWB PAT QUE

Rks 10 20 11 11 20 13 7 17

Pts 2 8 3 3 8 4 1 7

League Table Team Queens Flower Bar Eagle Bar Lucky Shot A Sunset Boulevard Thaiwaii Lucky Shot Student's Octopussy Bar Lucky Shot B Johnie Walker Black Return Bar Lucky Shot Thai Pats Point Sugar Cane Bar Johnie Walker Red Dick's Office B Dick's Office A

P 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20

W 14 15 13 12 11 11 10 8 8 7 7 7 4 3 1 0

D 4 1 5 5 7 5 3 5 5 4 2 2 3 5 1 1

Next Week’s Fixtures Week 18 – 16th September 2009 No Game v Jungle Juice A Billys v Sabai JW Black v PP Headrock v Red Bar Limelight v Lazy Daze U Turn v JW Red Jungle Juice B v Billys Babes Hua Hin 9 Ball League Results League Table Week 1 07/09/2009 Team P W L F-A Pts Curly’s Bar A 18 - 10 Dicks A Dicks B 12 - 14 LilleMan J Juice B 14 11 3 148-118 22 Mr Dan A 5 - 18 Eagle Bar PP 13 11 2 146-111 22 Plas Place 14 - 11 Curly’s Bar B JW Red 13 11 2 135-112 22 U Turn J Juice A Sabai Lazy Dze H’drock L’light JW Blk Blys Bbs Billys Red Bar

14 14 13 13 13 13 12 13 13 14

7 6 137-128 7 7 140-126 7 6 124-123 7 6 122-125 6 7 130-117 5 8 119-128 4 8 105-123 4 9 115-132 3 10 104-141 2 12 117-149

16 14 14 14 12 10 8 6 6 4

Next Week’s Fixtures Matchday 21 11th September 2009 Lucky Shot A v Thaiwaii Pat’s Point v Sugar Cane Dick’s Office A v JW Red Queens Flower v Lucky Shot B Lucky Shot Students v Eagle JW Black v Lucky Shot Th Sunset B’vard v Dick’s Office B Octopussy v Return Bar

L Diff. Rks 2 54 108 4 58 104 2 50 99 3 34 68 2 30 50 4 40 84 7 16 16 7 14 16 7 4 23 9 -4 -17 11 -14 -19 11 -32 -70 13 -28 -56 12 -46 -74 18 -88 -167 19 -88 -165

Pts 32 31 31 29 29 27 23 21 21 18 16 16 11 11 3 1

Next Week’s Fixtures Week 2 14/09/2009 Curly’s Bar B v Dicks B Dicks A v Plas Place Eagle Bar v Curly’s Bar A LilleMan v Mr Dan A

League Table Team P W D Eagle Bar 1 1 0 Curly’s A 1 1 0 Plas Place 1 1 0 LilleMan 1 1 0 Dicks B 1 0 0 Curly’s B 1 0 0 Dicks A 1 0 0 Mr Dan A 1 0 0

L +/- Pts 0 13 2 0 8 2 0 3 2 0 2 2 1 -2 0 1 -3 0 1 -8 0 1 -13 0

JUNGLE JUICE DAILY SPECIALS

Mon Tue Thur Fri Sat Sun

Fish & chips 140 B Chicken/Chips 160 B Bangers & mash 140 B Pork chop, veg 180 B Hotpot w/ veg 160 B Roast Lamb (NZ) 220B Pork & Chicken 180 B

19/1 Selekam Road, Hua Hin Tel. 087 153 2259 Email mueansean@hotmail.com

16

Darts Leagues

Team Scan A Lazy Dz CAT A P’dise Oasis JW Blk ThaWai Lky Sht JW Red Dicks B

P W D 6 5 0 6 5 0 6 4 1 6 4 0 5 3 1 4 2 0 5 2 0 6 1 0 5 0 0 5 0 0

L PF-PA Pts 1 78-30 10 1 70-38 10 0 70-38 9 2 60-48 8 1 58-32 7 2 45-27 4 3 36-54 4 5 33-75 2 5 21-69 0 5 13-77 0

Bullseye!

Division 2 Jaew v Dicks Office A 11-7 Kom Hom Ladies v Cat B 0-18 Scandic Bar B v Scandic Bar C 13-5 Jungle Juice v Pat Point 16-2 Railway Tavern v Kom Hom n/a Division 2 League Table Team Scan B Jaew Cat B KomH Scan C J Juice KH Ls R’way Dicks A Pat Pnt

P W D 6 6 0 6 5 0 6 4 1 5 3 1 6 2 0 5 2 0 5 2 0 5 1 0 6 1 0 6 1 0

Joe Steve Theo Dicky

O O LS JWB

L PF-PA Pts 0 88-20 12 1 65-43 10 1 80-28 9 1 51-39 7 4 51-57 4 3 41-49 4 3 34-56 4 4 34-56 2 5 33-75 2 5 27-81 2

The

Results - Week 6 08/09/2009 Division 1 Lazy Daze v Paradise 10-8 Scandic Bar A v Lucky Shot 18-0 JW Black v JW Red n/a CAT A v Oasis 9-9 Dicks Office B v ThaiWaii n/a Division 1 League Table

10% OFF FOR has arrived!

DARTS LEAGUE www.dartman.net Tel. 087 155 7737 PLAYERS Darts, Flights, Shafts from the UK. Metroline cases from the US 136/334 Soi 102, Hua Hin Also find British Breakfast Foods here! (see advert on p. 7)

Next Week’s Fixtures Week 7 15/09/2009 Division 1 ThaiWaii v Lazy Daze Oasis v Dicks Office B JW Red v CAT A Lucky Shot v JW Black Paradise v Scandic Bar A Top 16: Division 2 Top 15 -Div 1 Kom Hom v Jaew Pat Point v Railway Tavern Name Bar Pts Pool Leagues Scandic Bar C v Jungle Juice Golf SBA 125 brought to you by Cat B v Scandic Bar B Tao CATA 106 Lucky Shot Bar Dicks Office A v Kom Hom Ladies SBA 96 Hua Hin and Khao Takiab Pool Rune League 2009 Don CATA 96 Top 10 - Div 2 Results Lek LD 93 Name Bar Pts Wed 9th September 2009 Martin LD 88 Cop SBB 129 Free Time Bar 12 - 4 Thaiwaii Mark O 79 Ball CatB 115 Harleys Bar 11 - 5 Dizzy Dolphin Pim P 73 Sak SBB 96 Oasis Bar 9 - 7 Dara Bar Ankana SBA 65 Howard KH 71 Railway Tav 10 - 6 Chp Charlies Noi CATA 60 Tia SBC 68 Sunset B’vard 7 - 9 Bob & Noks Boy TW 59 Daeng SBB 60 League Table Team Harleys Oasis Bar Free Time Bob/ Noks Thaiwaii S’st B’vard Chp Chrlie R’way Tav Dara Bar Dizzy Dolp

P 17 17 17 17 17 17 17 17 17 17

W 14 12 11 9 8 6 4 4 3 1

D 3 3 4 3 3 4 2 1 2 1

L 0 2 2 5 6 7 11 12 12 15

+/94 38 70 36 -2 8 -56 -76 -42 -70

Pts 31 27 26 21 19 16 10 9 8 3

Next Week’s Fixtures Wed 16th September 2009 Bob and Noks v Thaiwaii Cheap Charlies v Sunset B’vard Dara Bar v Railway Tavern Dizzy Dolphin v Oasis Bar Free Time Bar v Harleys Bar

57 53 53 53

Pob Oil Mike Muay

JB JJ JJ JB

Hua Hin 8 Ball League League Table Team Komhom Eagle Bar MrDanA Curly’s B Purple Pig DicksA Pla’s Place DicksB LilleMan Curly’s A

P W D 1 1 0 1 1 0 1 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 1 0 0 1 0 0 1 0 0

L +/- Pts 0 8 2 0 6 2 0 6 2 0 0 1 0 0 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 1 -6 0 1 -6 0 1 -8 0

59 56 53 52

Results Week 1 09/09/2009 Curly’s Bar B 6 - 6 Purple Pig DicksA v Pla’s Place n/a Eagle Bar 9 - 3 LilleMan Komhom 10 - 2 Curly’s Bar A MrDanA 9 - 3 DicksB Next Week’s Fixtures Week 2 16/09/2009 Curly’s Bar A v DicksA DicksB v Eagle Bar LilleMan v Curly’s Bar B Pla’s Place v MrDanA Purple Pig v Komhom 17

Balloon Chasers Guide

Parties, special offers, regular events, celebrations and more; if you want it in AWOL email awol@huahinmedia.com or contact Noi at Sabai Bar (Tel: 086 174 6165) by Thursday noon every week.

Saturday 19th September - Opening Party at Cookies in Khao Takiab, 7pm onwards - free food - all welcome To be announced - Bobby’s Bar Opening party on Soi 102 Regular Events Daily specials at Belga Cafe & Brasserie (see ad p 5) Mondays, Wednesdays & Fridays - Pool Leagues Tuesdays - Darts League (see p 21 for venues, free food for players) Fridays - Dizzy Dolphin Karaoke every other Friday (see ad p 3)

Dick’s Office open darts night from 7.30pm (see ad p 20)

- Bar-B-Q party every week at Le Velo Rouge, Khao Takiab Every Friday and Sunday at TNT Bar, Soi Sarakam (runs between Binthabaht and Selakam), live Filipino band from 8.30 Sundays - British style Sunday Roasts available at: Jungle Juice, Soi Selekam (see ad p 16) Dick’s Office, Soi 80 (see ad back page) Ye Olde Buffalo Tavern, Chomsin/Naresdamri (see ad p 6) Jimmy’s Soi 102 Scandic Bar, Cha Am, open darts evening from 7.30pm . FREE return transport from Dick’s Office departs 7pm - please call 089 745 3992 (Anne) or 089 894 4310 (Mack) 3 hrs before to book transport

Hua Hin Golf Society

This week’s results: 8th September - Lake View 24 Entrants to the Stableford ‘Throwout’ (3 holes) Competition 80% hcp. One Group Only 1st Peter Gouldby 34 pts 6 hcp. 1st Jim Fallon (g) 34 pts 2 hcp.

3rd Lawrence Garrett 33 pts 3 hcp. 4th Colin Devonshire 32 pts 9 hcp.

5th Steve Aristodemou 31 pts 13 hcp. 6th Han Hackvoort 30 pts 13 hcp.

Nearest the Pin No. 8 Peter Gouldby, No. 17 Peter Dunne ‘LADIES’ AWAY TRIP TO KANCHANABURI 7th September - Mission Hills Best Pair - 1st Pailin & Petra c/b 68 pts - 2nd Jill & Ann 68 pts Individual - 1st Ann c/b 39 pts - 2nd Chuan 39 pts - 3rd Petra 36 pts Near Pins - No. 3 Chuan - No. 6 Petra - No. 11 Ann - No. 16 Ann 8th September - Nichigo Best Pair - 1st Tip & Chuan c/b 63 pts - 2nd Oon & Jackie 63 pts Individual - Oon c/b 35 pts - 2nd Chuan 35 pts - 3rd Ann 34 pts Near Pins - No. 4 Petra - No. 8 Oon - No. 12 Oon - No. 17 Nobody Overall: 1st Chuan 74 pts hcp 10, 2nd Ann 73 pts hcp 28, 3rd Oon 63 pts hcp 19, 4th Pailin 62 pts hcp 12, 5th Petra 61 pts hcp 16, 6th Jill 56 pts hcp 13, 7th Tip 55 pts hcp 11, 8th Jacky 50 pts hcp 29, 9th Barbara 44 pts hcp 26, 10th Monta 40 pts hcp 15, 11th Tum 36 pts hcp 36 4th September - Black Mountain 25 Entrants to the Stableford Competition + Matchplay Pairs League One Group Only 1st Craig Morgan 43 pts 21 hcp. 2nd Mike Humprey 32 pts 11 hcp.

3rd Albert Quick 32 pts 9 hcp. 4th Nitha Dittkuhn 32 pts 13 hcp.

5th Trevor Firth 32 pts 13 hcp. 6th Steve Aristodemou 31 pts 16 hcp.

Next week’s fixtures: Tuesday 15th Springfield - 7th Round Summer Pairs League plus / Stableford Competition + A Match against the Saensuk Golf Society.

Friday 18th Palm Hills- 2 Ball Scramble.

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FRIENDS of AWOL Accommodation

Blue Moon Hotel (p 5)

Bars and Pubs

Railway Tavern (p 9) Beach Hut Bar (p 11) Bob and Noks (p 11) Cookies (p 10/11) Dick’s Office (p 20) Dizzy Dolphin (p 3) Jungle Juice (p 16) JW’s (p 19) Lolitas (p 10) Lucky Shot (p 16) Sabai Bar (p 15) Sunset Boulevard (p 11)

Restaurants and Food

Belga Cafe (p 5) British Breakfast Foods (p 7) Buffalo Tavern (p 6) Hua Hin Ham & Bacon (p 1) Kom Hom (p 13) Lost Cafe (p 11) Sakura Sushi (p 2)

Activities and Services

The Dartman (p 17) Observer Group (p 13) Siam Consulting (p 11)

Butterfly Rock Golf

This week’s results: Monday 7th September Lake View A & B - stableford any tee start, 20 players entered 1st Peter Dunne (7) 44pts (white tee) 2nd Steve O’Brien (13) 41pts (white tee) 3rd Paul Williams (3) 38pts (blue tee) Friday 4th September Palm Hills - stableford format 13 Players today Front 9 25 pts Kevin Dwyer (13) Back 9 18 pts Gary Marshall (9) Overall 36 pts Peter Dunne (7) Forthcoming Fixtures Monday 14th Sept - Lake View Weds 16th Sept - Medal to be played at Palm Hills from 10am Friday 18th Sept - Palm Hills

(all times Thai) Saturday, 12 September 2009 Blackburn v Wolves, 21:00 Rovers started poorly but we think will improve, and this is a game they should really win. Wolves will be happy so far and could get something out of this. Draw.

Liverpool v Burnley, 21:00 The question is, how quickly will Burnley’s bubble burst? Liverpool must win this, and we think they will.

Man City v Arsenal, 21:00 First big test for City and it should be a great game. Must be odds on for Adebayour (below) to score the winner here. Home win.

Portsmouth v Bolton, 21:00 A very early season relegation battle, and the chance of both sides first points. An exciting draw.

brought to you by

Stoke v Chelsea, 21:00 Stoke were magnificent at home last season, and will need to be again here against a rampant Chelsea side. Can’t see past an away win.

Sunderland v Hull, 21:00 Two teams still vying to establish themselves at the top table but this fixture has a distinctly Championship feel about it.

Sunderland to nick it.

Wigan v West Ham, 21:00 No love lost between the fans here, but a previously happy hunting ground for the Hammers, who could be boasting a couple of new signings in their line up. West Ham to kick start their campaign with a solid win.

Tottenham v Man Utd, 23:30 Normally a cracking game and with added spice this season given the early season form of Spurs. United will want to put the perennial wannabes in their place but we think the home side will edge it.

Sunday, 13 September 2009 Birm’ham v Aston Villa, 18:00 A blood and thunder Midlands derby which matches all others for the intensity from the fans. Neither side have really clicked so far this season, and Villa look particularly ring rusty. The Blues to make their fans season, if not decade.

Fulham v Everton, 22:15 Both these teams have so far failed to hit the heights of last season, and we think both will continue in the same vein. Very hard to predict but we are going for a home win.

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Telephone 089 542 7431 (English) or 085 174 6855 (Thai)

huahinsport.com The best local online sports guide

Premier League Table Team P GD PTS 1 Chelsea 4 8 12 2 Tottenham 4 7 12 3 Man Utd 4 6 9 4 Man City 3 4 9 5 Stoke 4 -1 7 6 Arsenal 3 7 6 7 Liverpool 4 2 6 8 Aston Villa 3 2 6 9 Sunderland 4 -1 6 10 Burnley 4 -3 6 11 West Ham 3 1 4 12 Birmingham 4 -1 4 13 Wolves 4 -2 4 14 Hull 4 -4 4 15 Fulham 3 -3 3 16 Everton 3 -5 3 17 Wigan 4 -5 3 18 Blackburn 3 -3 1 19 Bolton 3 -3 0 20 Portsmouth 4 -6 0 AWOL-HHAD Challenge Fantasy League The current top ten are: # 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Team Mr ChaAming Sassy Thai Wanderlust United simply red mongkol muppets I am...Sasha Fierce Sorco United Jobless Army Huahindick Haleboppers

GW 65 60 59 47 43 52 67 68 53 47

TOT 220 214 210 204 197 196 191 188 182 175

J.W’s

Pub & Restaurant Extensive Menu 8’ Pool Table Dart Boards

Home of the Hua Hin Darts Leagues

Located on Soi Selekam

E-mail: barrypm@hotmail.com

19

Mystic

Football Preview Premier League

Queen Elizabeth: ‘pwopa nawty’ UK’s monarch suspected of hooligan past london, ENGLAND In a startling series of revelations emanating from Buckingham Palace, it has been revealed that Queen Elizabeth II is a die hard West Ham United fan, and doesn’t just have blue blood, but claret and blue blood.

The news first emerged after the Hammers ill fated match with arch rivals Millwall in the Carling Cup, which although they won was marred by violence inside and outside the ground. A source inside the Palace said, ‘Her Majesty was having a stroll through the Palace when she overheard some of the staff talking about the game, and it was clear that at least one of them was a Millwall fan. We were all astonished when Ma’am professed her undying love for the Upton Park outfit, and then kneed him in the groin, before leaving a business card behind with the words “Congratulations: One has just met the ICF” printed on it.’

An official Palace spokesman denied that this incident had occurred, offering the legitimate evidence that ‘no pikey scum would ever be allowed inside the Palace’ although was a little lost for words when told that former Millwall player Teddy Sheringham received his MBE from Her Majesty. This award is apparently now under review, and reports are suggesting that it will be withdrawn and replaced with a beheading instead.

Dick’s Office

Bar/restaurant open daily Best Sunday Roasts now with NZ Lamb every week, extensive menu, good music, pool & darts competitions, big screen projector for live sports, quiz nights, parties and more!

Located on Soi 80 (Sarawat) Tel: 089-046 9505, 085-930 7232 email: huahindick@hotmail.com

20

Queen Elizabeth II (above) seen at the ‘Bobby Moore Statue’ near Upton Park bending down to touch the feet of West Ham legends Martin Peters, Geoff Hurst and Bobby Moore, and some other bloke from Everton who apparently helped them win the World Cup in 1966

‘You’re going home in a ****ing ambulance’ before recovering her decorum and joining the West Ham directors in their box. More controversy followed though as the crowd started singing ‘Stand up if you hate Millwall’ and Her Majesty along with Scott Duxbury, CEO at the club, cajoled the rest of the box to their feet.

Not surprisingly the UK media have kept a tight lid on this story, but further evidence of not just the Queen’s, but some of the rest of the family’s allegiance to West Ham can be seen in the photo below of Prince Harry proudly holding a West Ham shirt with his name on it. Prince Phillip is apparently ‘not amused’ and supports Olympiakos.

AWOL has analysed the footage from the recent match and the crowd trouble, and has come to the conclusion that not only was Her Majesty there, but she was right in the heart of the action, swirling her handbag round her head and swiping at opposing fans with her sceptre. At one point she can be seen leading a chant of

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