AWOL Issue 56 by AWOL Co. Ltd

HHAD

6 November 09

in cahoots with

HUA HIN AFTER DARK.COM FREE

WEEKLY

ABSENT WITHOUT LEAVE FOR THE EXPAT IN ALL OF US What’s happening, and might be happening, in and around Hua Hin

You Fat, Lazy Slobs! New study reveals shocking truths about Hua Hin foreigners’ lifestyles

hua hin, thailand Over the last few weeks, unknown to the expat population, a secret survey has been carried out on the lifestyles and health implications for expats living in the area. AWOL obtained a copy and we can now exclusively reveal the stunning findings; • An estimated 60% are alcoholics or borderline alcoholics; • Drinking alcohol is a daily activity for 90%; • 80% have minimal or no exercise every week; • The average expat spends 5 hours a day sitting at their computer; • 50% who play golf only walk to the cart and the bar; • The average age of expats is 56.7 years old, although this is 10 years younger than the last such study in 1999;

A typical Hua Hin expat? On the plus side, most expats eat reasonably healthily, with most opting for the cheeseburger rather than the Whopper or Big Mac, and a higher proportion than average take regular ‘stress relieving’ massages. The study was commissioned by an insurance company to assess whether premiums for expats

should be changed, and doctors advising the company are convinced that the dangerous combinations outlined are a severe risk. A self proclaimed expat spokesman, Mr Marvin Hank (pictured left), rubbished the study, stating ‘its not worth the paper its written on’ before ringing the bell and falling on the floor. The study is due to be published online soon at www. youvebeenspoofed.com.

INSIDE AWOL Chris brown R.I.P Exchange rates Weird news Your stars Liverpool ladyboys

Former Hua Hin stalwart succumbs to illness

bang saphan, thailand Regular readers will remember our front page story from January when local expats in Hua Hin and Bang Saphan rallied round the stricken Englishman Chris Brown (pictured right) as he lay in a local hospital struggling for life; it is now our sad duty to inform everyone that Chris finally lost his battle against his various ailments last Friday, 30th October at 8.20pm. Twenty days earlier Chris had collapsed at home and was taken by his wife Oi to Surat Thani hospital, closer to where her family live, as the Bang Saphan hospital could not treat him apparently. After extended treatment at that hospital, on the 26th October Chris was brought back to Bang Saphan by his friend Ben from Germany, only to discover that his house had been burgled and his dogs brutally slain. The electricity and water was also off as the bills had not been paid while he was in hospital, so Chris was taken to other accommodation by Ben. While staying at this accommodation, Chris had another relapse and collapsed, and was rushed to Bang Saphan hospital for emergency treatment and a blood transfusion. Among his many health problems he was diagnosed as having a liver disease and the prognosis was not good. After being stabilised he was then moved to the hospital in Prachuap Kiri Khan, where two different doctors examined him and he was put on a life support machine to give him the best chance of surviving, although the doctors said that he only had a twenty to thirty percent chance of making it through the next few days. Sadly these odds were too much for his weakened body and a decision was made on the Friday evening to switch the life support machine off. In his time in Hua Hin from around 2003, Chris had opened the All Bar Won bar which was later renamed Sugar Cane and is still open now, next door to JWs, after being taken over when Chris moved to Bang Saphan. Chris was heavily involved in the Hua Hin Pool League, and was almost solely responsible for the huge increase in participating teams every Wednesday night. While the pool scene in Hua Hin has now fragmented into a variety of different leagues held on a number of nights, Chris helped establish pool as a main feature of the social scene here, and this commitment was one of the reasons that his plight in January was so quickly and generously responded to. He was also a handy pool player himself and great company. Aside from what Chris did in practical terms, he was a hugely knowledgeable man, able to converse with almost anybody on any topic in both an informative and humorous manner, and his online persona ‘Guess’ will be sorely missed on Hua Hin After Dark as well; there are tribute threads running on there with those who knew him sharing fond memories and saying goodbye, and those who only knew him through his posts saying that they felt as if they knew him. The team at AWOL did know him and we would like to join with the many others in expressing our sadness and condolences to his family and friends, as well as to be thankful that we met and were friends with such a decent, interesting and honest man. Rest In Peace Chris.

Sabai

Restaurant

Quality Thai/European Food at Bargain Prices Try our All Day Breakfast, Home made Burgers or Fish and Chips

Open 8 ‘til late Soi 116, Hua Hin Tel. 081 018 0558 (Bill) 2

HUTSADIN ELEPHANT FOUNDATION

Help the Elephants of this area - many are now unable to be kept by their owners due to ill health, age or being unable to work any more. The Hutsadin Elephant Foundation will take care of these animals but needs both volunteers and donations to do so. Please help these gentle giants, or just visit them at the Foundation on the Pala-U Road.

www.hutsadin.org email: hutsadinhuahin@hotmail.com.

SANTA CATARINA, BRAZIL Ana Claudia Michels is a 28 year old Brazilian model, or rather THE Brazilian model in that she is regularly voted as the hottest this or perfect that.. She started modelling at the age of 14 and she has appeared in catalogs for Victoria’s Secret and Le Lis Blanc, a noted Brazilian clothing company, as well as Calvin Klein advertisements. She has also appeared in ads for companies like Burberry, Giorgio Armani, and most of the big fashion names, and has graced the covers of multiple international editions of Vogue.

ICome

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Barquisimeto, Venezuela Aída Yéspica is a former Miss Amazonas who moved to Italy in 2003, where her constant nude modelling shoots caught the attention of Milan’s Pippo Inzaghi. She then moved onto Roma’s Matteo Ferrari, and even had a ‘thing’ with Silvio Berlusconi (before his wife stepped in!).

Notes from the British Consular Correspondent The British Embassy appointed Steve Ketteringham their Consul Correspondent for the Hua Hin district

earlier this year. He is the liaison between the Police, Tourist Police, Immigration and Hospitals with the British Embassy. He is available to give advice on British Consular assistance in respect of arrest, accidents, hospitalisation, death and loss/theft of passports to all British Citizens in Hua Hin. He cannot assist with the production of notarised letters re pensions etc (this has to be done in Bangkok) or with UK visas. Although the visa issuing office is co located at the embassy it is the responsility of the UK Home Office and not the FCO and therefore he has no sway one way or the other as to whether a visa is issued. He will however assist with completing the visa application form if required. If you are a British Citizen it is recommended that you register your name and address with the FCO, their website is https://locate.fco.gov.uk Steve can be contacted by phone on 086 7933461 or by e mail steve@ketteringham.com

“The local establishment with local prices”

Excellent Thai & Western food

Cajun/Louisiana style & Nightly Specials Our regulars recommend the BBQ Spare Ribs & the King Pork Chops

Thai & International Satellite channels Pool/ Darts & Karaoke (every other Friday)

To find us, travel north on the canal road past the traffic lights and turn left at the bridge after the petrol station and right immediately over it. We are on the right. Tel. 032-522 418, 083-317-3008 12/10 Soi Samoprong, Hua Hin

Weather, Money, Information brought to you by Local Forecast

Day Conditions Temp °C Low High Saturday Sunny and nice 24 31 Sunday Sunny and pleasant 24 31 Monday Mostly sunny and nice 24 32 Tuesday Mostly sunny with a shower 24 33 Wednesday Mostly sunny, a shower; humid 24 32 Thursday Mostly sunny, a shower; humid 24 32 Friday Sunny and humid 24 32

World Forecast

Friday 6th November 2009 City Min Max Weather Amsterdam 6 10 Rain Athens 11 21 Cloudy Auckland 11 18 Cloudy Beijing 3 17 Fine Berlin 4 9 Cloudy Buenos Aires 12 24 Cloudy Chicago 2 10 Fine Copenhagen 2 3 Rain Dubai 24 35 Clear Dublin 3 11 Showers Geneva 3 9 Showers Helsinki 0 2 ? Snow Ho Chi Minh 22 33 Fine Hong Kong 25 30 Clear Islamabad 11 29 Clear Jakarta 25 35 Rain Jerusalem 14 20 Fine Jo’burg 12 23 T-storms Karachi 20 36 Fine Kuala L’pur 24 32 T-storms London 6 13 Showers Madrid 7 14 Rain Manila 24 26 Rain Mexico City 7 19 Rain Moscow -5 -1 Fine New Delhi 15 30 Fine New York 4 12 Showers Oslo 0 3 ? Rain Paris 7 12 Showers Perth 11 25 ? Rain Phnom-Penh 23 31 ?T-storms Rio 20 38 Haze Riyadh 19 33 Clear Rome 11 18 Rain San F’cisco 13 20 Cloudy Singapore 24 32 T-storms Stockholm 6 7 ? Rain Sydney 17 22 Showers Tokyo 13 22 Cloudy Vientiane 18 32 Clear Yangon 20 33 Clear Zurich 4 9 Showers

Exchange Rates

At 5th November 2009 (mid-market rates) Currency Value (Baht) US Dollar 32.25 Pound Sterling 54.3 Euro 48.94 Japanese Yen 36.14 Malaysian Ringgit 9 Singapore Dollar 23.52 Brunei Dollar 22.97 Chinese Yuan 4.17 Indonesian Rupiah 2.04 Indian Rupee 0.6125 Korean Won 0.0232 Australian Dollar 29.71 New Zealand Dollar 23.58 Swiss Franc 32.27 Danish Krone 6.39 Norwegian Krone 5.65 Swedish Krona 4.54 Canadian Dollar 30.72 UAE Dirham 7.31 Bahrain Dinar 59.69 Kuwaiti Dinar 58.85 Omani Rial 7.19 Qatar Riyal 9.1717 AWOL makes no warranties, express or implied, regarding these rates and shall not be liable for any losses or damages incurred in connection with them.

Get Your Message Across Advertise in AWOL

Contact awol@huahinmedia.com or call 081 649 8361

Lin’s Cafe

‘noted for fresh air and fun’

Lin’s Cafe

Open Every Day from 7.30am Big Breakfasts - Low Price Roast Beef Dinner only 160 bt Tel: 082 2512473 Phetkasem Road, near Soi 80

Useful Numbers

Emergency Calls Police 191 Crime 195 Fire 199 Traffic Control Centre 197 Highway Police 1193 Tourist Police 1699 Tourist Service Centre 1155 Missing Persons 02 282 1815 Hua Hin Police Station 032 511 027 Cha-Am Police Station 032 471 321 Hua Hin Hospital 032 511 743 San Paulo Hospital 032 532 576 to 585 Hua Hin Red Cross 032 512 567 Other numbers Hua Hin Tessabahn 032 511 047 Hua Hin Immigration Office 032 513 574 Hua Hin Bus Terminal (non air-con) 032 511 230 (air-con) 032 511 651, 512 543 Hua Hin Railway Station 032 511 073 Tourist Information Centre 032 512 120 Hua Hin Electricity 032 512 215 Hua Hin Water 032 511 677 TOT 032 519 000/001 TT&T 032 532 018 British Embassy Consular Correspondent: Steve Ketteringham 086 7933461 or e-mail on steve@ketteringham.com

Part time sales staff wanted to sell advertising to businesses in the Hua Hin, Cha Am, Khao Takiab and surrounding areas. Thai nationals with some English speaking skills and own transport preferred but any applicant considered. Call 081 649 8361 (Eng) or 081 614 8728 (Thai/Eng) or email awol@huahinmedia.com to apply or for more information.

Hua Hin’s Hot Topics We are sad to announce the loss of a good friend and long-time forum member this week. Chris Brown passed away in the evening of Friday October 30 in a hospital in Prachuab following long term illnesses. Chris, known as ‘Guess’ on the boards, befriended many Hua Hin expats during his time here running the Sugar Cane bar, many would visit the bar just to have a chat with the man that has been referred to as a ‘font of knowledge’. He moved to Bangsaphan last year to settle down a little following persistent illness but remained active on the forum where he became known for his dry sense of humour. Chris will be missed by many, rest in peace friend. The weather seems to have taken a turn this week as cooler winds came in from the ocean urging those hardened long-term expats to dig out their sweaters. This usually marks the start of the dry season although we have had very little rain this year so something still maybe around the corner. November also marks the start of the high season however tourist numbers are still slow compared to previous years. This hasn’t stopped Hua Hin’s hotels and golf courses hiking up their prices though despite the obvious lack of patrons this year. A trip to the local shooting range produced a good report and some photos from one member, there are

Perfect Opportunity Land For Sale!

5.3 Rai only 10 min walk from Black Mountain Golf Course. Sweeping mountain views, next to new road with electricity and water.

2 million baht/ rai or offers. Telephone 089 542 7431 (Eng) or 085 174 6855 (Thai)

from

HHAD

a couple around but the most popular range can be found along soi 6. There are a number of activities in and around Hua Hin that rarely see the action because they are not promoted, marketed or publicised. In addition to shooting ranges there are paintball parks, ATV courses, gyms, sports centers, and a number of golf ranges. Loy Krathong, which was celebrated on Monday, had its usual discussion and aside from the beach there is no real good place in Hua Hin to celebrate this. Khao Tao and Pranburi seem to be the places to go and with large lakes and rivers they are very popular spots for the raft floating festival. The annual event is held on the first full moon of the twelfth month of the Thai lunar calendar (which is November for us), its origins are Hindu however Thailand’s Buddhist populations celebrate it to venerate Buddha with light and release their grudges and anger and start anew. Finally a mini-van accident in Hua Hin also made the news, details were sketchy but we do know that there were fatalities. Our thoughts go out to those families and friends that have lost loved ones. For all of these hot topics and plenty more get online at www.huahinafterdark.com/forum/ - Hua Hin’s only active web community.

LAND ON PALM HILLS GOLF COURSE

This plot is fantastically positioned with lake views overlooking the golf course and the mountains. The plot is just under 2 Rai, 3004 sq.m, approximately 38m x 80m. You can build one or even two beautiful homes on this large plot. Viewing is essential as the price has been drastically reduced from 12.9 million baht to 9.9 million baht. If you purchase this plot before 30th October 2009 a free family lifetime golf membership will be included.

For viewing, please call 086 010 0200 (Eng) or 087 371 0558 (Thai)

HARLEY’S SOI 80 (SARAWAT) BAR BAHT ANY 50 DRINK EVERY DAY 10AM - 5PM Sports TV, WiFi, Pool

Motorbike rental Automatics 3000 bt per month, 200 per day Many motorcycles for sale 5

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C B ut A v a W o uf t li n f h 1 2 d OL y a is o l c /1 u u o o 1/ n r T u 0 t m av p 9 il e e o a r n l n o (d f u r o t in r a k a nd s 1 n 0 % pr o t d es in is e c c n lu o t d u n at e t d )

Public House and restaurant

Perfect on a stormy day! Tetley Bitter on Draught Stowford press cider and Kronenbourg 1664 pints only 150 Baht each

Find out what’s going on at the Buffalo Tavern - contact Bill, Lorraine or nic on info@buffalobillshuahin.com Quiz nights, Tapas evenings, Chinese food specials & more Located on the corner of Chomsin and Naresdamri road opposite the fishing pier

parking for 100 cars in the fishing pier car park For bookings or more information call 032 530087 or 086 603 5335

Weird News oregon, usa

Driver: I did not see six foot tall orange rabbit A driver involved in a hit-and-run incident told a court that he did not see a six-foot tall woman wearing a bright orange rabbit costume riding a pedicab before he ran into her. 34-year-old Edward Cespedes-Rodriguez was convicted of hit-and-run driving in Portland, Oregon’s Multnomah County Circuit Court, but was cleared of recklessly endangering another person - after he claimed that he didn’t spot the pedicab-riding sixfoot-tall orange rabbit because he was fumbling with his mobile phone. The rabbit in question, pedicab rider Kate Altermatt, told The Oregonian newspaper that she was disappointed by that part of the verdict, given that her pedicab was clearly visible, being equipped with reflectors and a blinking red light. And the fact that she was dressed as an orange bunny. Altermatt says she found it difficult to get local police to take her initial complaint seriously, possibly because she was still wearing the rabbit suit. She claims that she smelled alcohol on CespedesRodriguez breath when she confronted him after being hit at around 2am on April 12 this year. However, police were unable to track Cespedes-Rodriguez down in time to administer an alcohol test. 6

For his part, Cespedes-Rodriguez claimed that he had to flee the scene of the accident as he feared for his safety, claiming that another pedicab driver had smashed his windscreen after the car had hit Altermatt. The judge agreed that the damage to his car suggested it had been deliberately struck by someone. new york, usa UN security in finger lickin’ fiasco An audacious actor dressed like Kentucky Fried Chicken founder Colonel Sanders sneaked into United Nations headquarters and shook hands with a senior official before finally being ejected, according to reports. The Colonel impersonator, dressed in his trademark white suit and black bow tie and named by KFC as Robert Thompson, evaded tight security at the midtown complex and had his photo taken while shaking hands with Ali Treki, president of the UN General Assembly. An investigation has been launched into the incident, which was part of a KFC stunt to promote the fast food chain’s new grilled chicken line, a UN spokeswoman said Tuesday. KFC has been “lobbying” for Grilled Nation to be accepted as a member state, even writing letters to UN Secretary General Ban Ki-moon on behalf of the fictional chicken-loving republic.

And Restaurant

Come

Bobby’s Bar

087 155 7737 or 089 985 7473 136/334 Soi 102, Hua Hin (opposite Coconut Grove)

ERIKSSONs WÄRDSHUS

All Domestic Beers 50 baht (small) Shorts incl. mixer from 40 baht sgl 70 baht dbl Try our Breakfasts from 99 baht and get it half price if you buy 2kg of Sausage/Bacon/Ham,

Nybörjar kurs i bridge Tisdagar 16.00 120 bath/gång Anmälan i restaurangen Tomas 0898135332

Bobby’s British Breakfast Foods

FOR SALE

as we are also home to

UK Sausages, Ham, Bacon, Pies, Teas etc.

Why not throw some arrows in our purpose built darts room, and stock up on darts supplies at the same time with 087 155 7737 Website under construction www.dartman.net Darts, Flights, Shafts from the UK.

Metroline cases from the US

10% OFF FOR DARTS LEAGUE PLAYERS

5 RAI LAND IN NONG KHA NEAR THE ROAD OPPOSITE HUAY MONKOL PRICE 2,000,000 BAHT 250 SQ. WAH LAND IN KHAO DANG PRICE 2,000,000 BAHT (8,000 BAHT/SQ. WAH) CALL 081 571 3003 (JA)

English corner

Have you ever wondered where a certain phrase comes from, or what it really means? Every week we will expand your knowledge of English and its etymology with a different word or saying. This week it is... Caught red-handed To be caught in the act of committing a misdemeanour, with the evidence there for all to see. The Red Hand has long been a heraldic and cultural symbol of the northern Irish province of Ulster. One of the many myths as to its origin is the tale of how, in a boat race in which the first to touch the shore of Ulster was to become the province’s ruler, one contestant guaranteed his win by cutting off his hand and throwing it to the shore ahead of his rivals. Red-handed doesn’t have a mythical origin however - it is a straightforward allusion to having blood on one’s hands after the execution of a murder or a poaching session. The term originates, not from Northern Ireland, but from a country not far from there, Scotland. An earlier form of ‘red-handed’, simply ‘red hand’, dates back to a usage in the Scottish Acts of Parliament of James I, 1432. Red-hand appears in print many times in Scottish legal proceedings from the 15th century onward. For example, this piece from Sir George Mackenzie’s A discourse upon the laws and customs of Scotland in matters criminal, 1674: “If he be not taken red-hand the sheriff cannot proceed against him.” The earliest known printed version of ‘red-handed’ is from Sir Walter Scott’s Ivanhoe, 1819: “I did but tie one fellow, who was taken redhanded and in the fact, to the horns of a wild stag.” Scott was an avid student of Scottish history and folklore, and he is certain to have heard ‘redhand’ before writing Ivanhoe. The step from ‘redhand’ to ‘redhanded’ isn’t large, so calling Scott the originator of the term is perhaps being over generous to him. Nevertheless, the enormous popularity of his books certainly brought ‘red-handed’ to a wide audience and, without him, the term might now be long forgotten. 16th and 17th century Scottish sources provide various examples of ‘apprehended redhand’, ‘taken with redhand’ etc. but the earliest known citation of the currently used ‘caught red-handed’ phrase is in the English novelist George Alfred Lawrence’s work Guy Livingstone; or, ‘Thorough’, 1857: My companion picked up the object; and we had just time to make out that it was a bell-handle and name-plate, when the pursuers came up - six or seven “peelers” and specials, with a ruck of men and boys. We were collared on the instant. The fact of the property being found in our possession constituted a ‘flagrans delictum’ - we were caught “red-handed.”

Count www.classifiedshuahin.com Hua Hin Classifieds are FREE for personal use and small businesses, however all classifieds are subject to approval and will not appear instantly. Selected adverts will appear every week in the area’s only free weekly English language publication, AWOL

Your STARS

brought to you by

with The Sage Monkey

my.opera.com/bentrein

Sometimes we do wonder whether the Sage Monkey is a truly gifted and clairvoyant freak of nature, or just a trained chimp; last week he was seen wandering around with a tray containing a teapot, sugar bowl, milk jug and cups and saucers, shouting out ‘Coo-eee, Mr Shifter!’ at anyone who passed, before pouring them a cup of tea (PG Tips of course). But then we come across a set of predictions as presented this week, with such searing insights and complete conviction, as well as a command of English that is out of this world, and we have no more room for any such doubts - Spanky must be a trained chimp and someone else is writing the horoscopes for him! Still, he makes a fabulous cup of tea so we’re not really complaining!

Capricorn Dec 22 - Jan 19 A very short person is expected to turn your life up-side-down completely. After a nine months wait it wasn’t really unexpected, was it? Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 A rather surprising turn of events sees you flapping like a bird for all eyes to see, some time later on Saturday afternoon as an argument with the copilot gets you thrown out of an aeroplane at 5000 feet. Pisces Feb 19 - Mar 20 The only reason you should wear a helmet, is for the police. Your friends will find out that there’s not much to protect up there, after they find you with a cracked skull at the scene of an accident. Aries Mar 21 - Apr 19 Protect your expensive European tailor made suit from excessive flooding, by buying a cheaper one here, and till that is finished, wear the Emperor’s new clothes. Taurus Apr 20 - May 20 Both the moon and the sun are going to play important roles in your life this week, as they determine night, day, and your incessant howling during the former. Gemini May 21 - Jun 21 While making your prediction, Spanky the Monkey closed his eyes and covered them with both his hands. These are the tell-tale signs of the horrors ahead of you. 8

Cancer Jun 22 - Jul 22 Hard work and dedication will bring you financial independence, social success, and the recognition you desire, you lazy git! Leo Jul 23 - Aug 22 Lately the only thing I can do to get a prediction for you, is to feed Spanky a can of beer. It may have something to do with the name of your sign, but it’s most likely due to your frequent AA-visits. Virgo Aug 23 - Sep 22 I finally figured it out, how to say nicely that you... Ah, well. This really was last week’s prediction, so why would I bother writing it all out now? Libra Sep 23 - Oct 23 This week is going to be very bad for you indeed. Especially if you’re born on Wednesdays. This Thursday is going to be before Friday, and that’ll be troooly troooly tough for you. Scorpio Oct 24 - Nov 21 If it’s your birthday this week, you’re out of luck. Once again you’re a year older, and your imminent death is a year closer. Sagittarius Nov 22 - Dec 21 I recommend that while you’re reading this, you duck. Duck now! Otherwise it’ll be too late, and you’ll have a rotten tomato stuck in your hair.

555 HA!

PUB & CAFE HUA HIN

Send your jokes to awol@huahinmedia.com and get your name in print! Brought to you by The Railway Tavern

SOI 88

085 429 0378

married life Wife gets naked, reclines on the bed and purrs to hubby, ‘What turns you on more, my pretty face or my sexy body?’ Hubby looks her up and down and replies, ‘Your sense of humour!

the duck is dead (thanks to Karl from the Railway Tavern) A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird’s chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, “I’m sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away.” The distressed woman wailed, “Are you sure?” “Yes, I am sure. The duck is dead,” replied the vet. “How can you be so sure?” she protested. “I mean you haven’t done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something.” The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck’s owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head. The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room. A few minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room. The vet looked at the woman and said, “I’m sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck.” The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman. The duck’s owner, still in shock, took the bill. “$150!” she cried, “$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!” The vet shrugged, “I’m sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20, But with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it’s now $150.” 9

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DEAR MARY, I have an elderly female neighbour whose husband died earlier this year. I live alone and have an active social life, so I took pity on this lady and have been helping her with many things, from gardening to shopping to odd jobs around the house, and generally trying to help her when I can. The only problem now is that I think she has a crush on me! She has started making suggestive remarks, patting me in places she shouldn’t and even wearing revealing clothes when I go there; the other day her next door neighbour called round and told me that she doesn’t stop talking about me when she goes there. What can I do? Cradle Snatched, Bangkok Dear Cradle Snatched, I don’t really see the problem here; there is you, a young stud with plenty of energy and a kind heart, and there is your neighbour who is obviously gagging for some action and can probably teach you a thing or two. Give her a good seeing to - wrinkly sex is the next big thing!

Relationship woes? Bar girl blues? Sexual deviant? Send your problem to Mary Ann Cotton on awol@huahinmedia.com

DEAR MARY, I met a bar girl while on holiday in Hua Hin who I really like, but I know all the horror stories about demands for money, sick buffalos, new mobile phones etc. I was expecting this after we exchanged our goodbyes, phone numbers and email addresses, but I have to say that I have been mildly disappointed so far; she calls me every day and pays for the calls; she has already sent me a number of gifts like clothes and after shave and there have been no demands of any sort. Is there something wrong with me? Big Willy, Hartlepool, UK. Dear Willy, I have heard of this new approach by the girls before but it normally only happens when the guy in question is particularly well endowed in the pants department. You don’t mention this in your letter so is your name ironic or does it reflect reality? Anyway, this girl is obviously desperate so I would dump her quick and find a normal money grabbing girl that you can trust. I have sent you my personal number just in case.

Brand new houses for sale

Located only 10 – 15 minutes from the town centre up the Pala-u waterfall road on route to Springfield and Black Mountain Golf Courses, these houses are built to a very high standard. They are on a secured complex with remote controlled gates, underground electrics and drainage system with rain water storage. The five houses share a pool and large Jacuzzi with the shared rights to these and the road; all are completed with three occupied and two for sale and all have separate chanotes. They are turnkey houses - all you have to do is put your clothes in the wardrobe. Main features: • Two Bedrooms • Two Bathrooms • Full Furniture • Central Hot water system • 3 air con units • 50” TV, DVD recorder, UBC • European UPVC Windows and mosquito screens • Full European Kitchen - all Appliances including a washing machine plus cutlery, crockery, pans, utensils and much more The houses have land to one side and the pool to the other side. It is also possible to purchase more land to the side of the house for more garden. These houses are competively priced for the quality that you are getting; houses are priced from 2.25 million baht, and plots from only 399,000 baht. A viewing costs nothing but you will want one when you see them!

Contact 086 010 0200 (Eng) or 087 371 0558 for more information.

Hurry

Visit the village discover Khao Takiab B

BAR

CH H U A E

Have your party or celebration here for FREE (minimum 30 people) Live music & food available

COOKIES “A big name in this town”

Ice cold beer - Spirits Bar snacks - Pool Music - Live sports It takes the biscuit! 084 569 5537 brithai@hotmail.com

SPORTS GUESTHOUSE BAR R E S T A U R A N T

032 536970 or 087 599 1913

International Wines, Bottled & Draft Beers Two satellite systems showing live sports Tel 032 511624

Get your business on the map! Contact awol@huahinmedia.com or call 081 649 8361

Phone: Fluke: 084 159 5502

Bob & Noks Bar

Home of Khao Takiab Golf Society Motorbike / Car Rentals Club hire 089 586 1700

FREE EVERY FRIDAY IN HUA HIN, CHA AM AND KHAO TAKIAB FOR THE EXPAT IN ALL OF US

SIAM CONSULTING HUA HIN CO. LTD. COMPLETE EXPAT INSURANCE SOLUTIONS HEALTH (up to age 85), CAR, HOUSE, COMMERCIAL VR BROKER AGENT

084 849 7208 or 032 512075 franckphuket@hotmail.com

Affiliated with Thailand’s oldest Independent Financial Consultancy Co.

J.B. Consultancy Services

Puzzle 1

Puzzle 2 4

Property Finance Advice Pension Reviews Individual Insurance Advice Personal Finance Reviews “Just aBout Caring 4U” Contact us for A Free Consultancy Talk Just Phone 08954 62206 or e-mail Jeston@jbcthailand.com Sudoku Hints For Beginners Look for the obvious. Is there a section that has one cell unsolved? Quickly find the solution by counting from 1 to 9 locating each number in that row, column, or region. The missing number is the solution. Where do you start? Take a systematic approach to solving Sudoku. A good way to start is by first looking for a number that has the most “givens”. Look for the only possible choice. Sometimes there is only one place a number can possibly go. This is discovered by working systematically through each line and box in turn. Good luck!

Puzzle 1

Last week’s solutions

Puzzle 2 6

Disclaimer: All articles are published in good faith and based on information available to us at publication, No responsibility is accepted other than that stipulated by law. Although the information in this publication has been obtained from sources believed to be reliable, AWOL cannot guarantee accuracy in all cases. Any opinions expressed are those of the contributor and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher.

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Give

AWOL Sudoku brought to you by

Across 6. Adventurous expedition 7. Physical suffering 8. Expectant desire 9. Person who skates 10. Inactive

brought to you by

12. Sumptuous meal 15. Tapering mass of ice 17. Dog cry 18. Immoral habit 19. One or the other of two

Down 1. Large terrestrial monkey 2. Cod-like fish 3. Being before all others 4. Bring up to date 5. Roofing item

Quick XWord

11. Swayed to and fro 13. County in SE England 14. Gem 16. First son of Adam and Eve 17. Push with the head

Last weekâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s solution right

CLASSIFIEDS Business

BAR FOR SALE Hua Hin Phetkasem Road central position. Good passing trade, 800, 000 Baht, Partnership considered. Phone 085 295 1595 (Steve) INVESTMENT OPPORTUNITY FOR RESTAURANT/TAVERN OPERATORS. A three storey, three units building located on a main soi to several housing sub-divisions; one of the units is double size. The Restaurant/Tavern occupies the double unit and has been operating since 2007 with steady positive growth. The core clientele are resident farangs with Thai families, thus the business is not dependent on high season and the tourist trade. The second floor consists of six rooms plus three baths and storage areas. The entire third floor is a two bedroom, two bath townhouse with deck. The staff are completely trained and capable of total operation. This is a walk-in takeover opportunity for a select investor. This chanute property is open to sales offers and business proposals. Please call 083 317 3008 for more information. Yoga for your life !!! Come and feel the spirit of yoga in the beautiful location of Hua Hin. Yoga classes held in the morning, afternoon and evenings as you like. The Yoga Instructor will really bring out the essence of yoga and mediation, the union of mind, body and spirit. Breathe is ecologically aware, combining organic ingredients,with an incomparably warm atmosphereIf interested please email : thid_suttha@yahoo.com or call for more info. Thyda S.: 087 - 0146729 Swimming Pool Service Expert swimming service such as cleaning, maintenance, chemical treatment,change spare part etc. contact: mobile phone 086-9977371,email:permsopa_t@hotmail.com Paintball Park business for sale, located in a busy area with elephant show/rides, ATV’s, horse rides, jet ski’s & water sports, offering great potential for increased business, as well as many regular clientele, includes ownership of all equipment, Guns, Masks, Boots, uniforms, paintballs, tools, Gas bottles large & small, All current advertising as well as complete playing field fully fenced with obstacles & Building with 3 rooms, kitchen, bathroom, large office/lounge area, air conditioned & fully furnished. Rent is only 12,500 Thai baht per month paid up until January 2010, for Approx. 2 Rai of land, with 7.5 yrs remaining on lease,(2.5yrs plus option for 5yrs). Fully staffed. A Great opportunity to get involved in this fast growing & popular sport. Now Reduced for quick sale due to medical reasons, 350,000 Thai baht o.n.o. All offers considered. Be Quick Must Go!!!! ph: +66 (0) 80 616 0458 Hua Hin Thailand. Email: splatpaintball@live.com BOAT TOURS FISHING snorkelling tours to suit your needs from 1850 to 2300 baht p/p. Private charter available at very good rates. Call for more details 0837336695 Kannika Guesthouse/ Bar for sale. Central Hua Hin fully furnished Guesthouse with restaurant / bar and 4 rooms all with a/c, tv, fridge, double beds and 3 of the rooms are equipped with jacuzzi. The lease left is 4 years and rent is paid until May 2011. The Guesthouse is situated just 2 minute walk from the night market, golf course, train station and Bangkok Bus Stop. In less than10 minutes walk you reach the beach. If you need more info call me on 086 644 1380

bar for sale pool table, ps2 game tables, projector TV in Poonsuk rd. 950,000 call 081-378-3436

Employment Licensed driver for Toyota Commuter wanted, hotel pick-up and drop, brand new van, drive an average of 20 days a month, from 07h to 18h, only Thai citizen. For conditions call Fred at 0890148546. Part time teachers wanted. We are seeking part-time Native English speaking teachers. Must have credentials. Also seeking Native Thai teachers to teach Thai to English speakers. Age not important. Male or Female. Facility is licensed by Ministry of Education. Email CV with photo to: bapakdon@gmail.com

General Panasonic kx-ft907 fax/answer/ phone etc as new 2000 baht ph Sheila 0810064010 CD collection for sale - over 300 original music CDs ranging through Rock, Pop, Jazz, Blues, Soul and more. Includes some rare promotional copies and box sets of The Jam, The Clash and Stevie Ray Vaughan. Offers on individual items or whole collection considered. Contact Steve on 081 649 8361 Watercooler for sale 2nd hand watercooler for sale, holds 40 litres of water. (normal price new 16700 Baht,) will sell for 6000 Baht. Phone no. 0846309925 Child’s cot/playpen for sale. Folds down into carry bag. Includes nappy changing table, mosquito net, useful storage pockets and mattress. Only 1 year old, new was 6000 baht, will sell for 3000 or offers. Call Steve on 081 649 8361. For Sale Golf Clubs Calloway Big Bertha irons set. I-Brid long irons replace 3,4 and 5 standard irons 6-PW standard irons. Right hand regular graphite shafts. Total clubs = 8, BHT 20,000. I-Brid irons blend the control and accuracy of irons with the forgiveness of hybrids. These clubs have only been used twice on a driving range. Retail price 30,000 BHT plus. Contact Peter Tel 0848 729 123 Are You a Tall Golfer in Search of Golf Clubs? Callaway Big Bertha 460 Driver 10.5 loft, Mid torque, mid kick callaway 80 gram shaft. (On R&A conforming list) Matching 3 and 5 fairway metals. Cleveland (tour action) TA7 Irons, THESE ARE TWO INCHES LONGER THAN STANDARD, 3 to Sand Iron, dynamic golf steel shafts. Odessy White Steel 2 ball putter + Wilson Pro Staff putter, Titleist Black golf bag. All clubs genuine, no copies. Price 10000 Baht. Contact Mike on 0892279653 digital stereo echo mixing amplifier. Modivox AV702, one year old.2 x microphone inputs, surround sound, multi AV inputs, 2,000 baht o.n.o. Contact Steve on 080 616 0458 two microphones milan ML-566 & ML-555, as new in box, only 6 months old, professional unidirectional dynamic, 400 baht each o.n.o. Contact Steve on 080 616 0458 guitar amplifier records G-75, two inputs with overdrive and distortion, channel and effect controls, 6 months old, as new, 4000 baht o.n.o. Contact Steve on 080 616 0458 guitar/bass amplifier records B-125, two inputs with graphic equalizer, as new, 6 months old, 6500 baht o.n.o. Contact Steve on 080 616 0458 two microphone stands Offers. Contact Steve on 080 616 0458

two guitar stands new, one electric, one acoustic. Offers. Contact Steve on 080 616 0458 collapsible drum stool with adjustable height, new. Offers. Contact Steve on 080 616 0458 glass top dining table, round with marble base, good condition.Offers. Contact Steve on 080 616 0458 Running Machine for sale, second hand, 8,000 baht, call 0870070069. Classic British Comedy. All the old British Comedy classics (complete series)plus cult movies (60’s onwards) and documentaries. call 081-8113845 Books – Baht 100 each, 3x Red cotton rugs 1.75cmx80cm Bt 500 each, Chinese patterned carpet 3.2mx2.35m Bt 9,500, Chinese carpet 2.90m x1.80m 7,500 Baht. New from Index Fagor DeLonghi 3 litre deep fat fryer – Baht 3,500, New Electric hair trimmer- Baht 550/-, New Remington Electric ceramic rollers – Baht 950/-. Twist and Shape lateral Thigh Trainer - Baht 2,900/. Original Oil Paintings.Bookcases x 2 155x100x25cm @ Baht 5,000/- each, Rosewood Floor Lamp with shade Baht 4,500/-, Rosewood Bar with 2 stools and large wine cooler Baht 45,000/-. 084 112 8873 acoustic 12 string guitar, Tanglewood full size, excellent condition with case and tuner, 15,000 baht ono. Contact Steve on 080 616 0458

Motoring Land Rover dark green, four new tyres, serviced regularly, Isuzu diesel engine, restored good condition. 135, 000 baht. Phone Sheila 081 006 4010 Honda Wave 125i 2008 Model, Disc Brake Type Perfect Condition! Used Less 1,200kms. only Sale = 38,000.- Baht, Ready to transfer Call : 087-169-6658 suzuki bandit v 400cc for sale 70,000 baht. Call Nu on 086 548 3613 honda steed for sale, black, in really nice condition. It has a green book, only 135,000 baht, call 0860100200. mitsubishi triton plus, 2007, 2.5 litre Diesel, 2 wheel drive, manual transmission, full option, Carry Boy and roof rack, MP3/DVD/CD player, LCD Screen. 45,000 kms, full service history, first class insurance until April 2010. 550,000 baht negotiable for quick sale due to new vehicle arriving. Call Patrick on 089 798 2450. Honda Phantom Flame Edition for sale, 2,000km’s, 4 months old, tax and insured, still under manufacturer warranty, comes with saddle bags, drop bars and large foot pegs. Only 75,000 baht, call 0860100200. Honda CBR 954 Fireblade, 2002, Invoice papers. 165,000 baht call 0860100200. honda crf for sale, 250cc 4 stroke, motor crosser, 2005, 99,000 baht, call 0860100200. Harley PM, 1450cc, 2000 Model, Black, Former Heritage Softail. New design with PM parts & accessories. Reduced to 990,000, call 0860100200. Suzuki DRZ 400, electric start, Yellow, like new, with invoice papers. 140,000 baht call 0860100200. Yamaha WR 400, off road motor crosser, year 2000. 68,000 baht cal 0860100200. Honda Clubman GB400, Tourist Trophy, 11,000km. Good condition, 50,000 baht call 0860100200. TAXIS BANGKOK AIRPORT Pattaya at very competitive prices. Call Kannika on 0837336695

If you wish to place a classified advert in AWOL, please either send an email to awol@huahinmedia.com or write out the details clearly in BLOCK capitals on paper and deliver it to Noi at Sabai Bar, Soi Selekam by 6 pm on the Tuesday before the issue you want to be included in. All adverts are free and will be included for 4 weeks automatically except for property or business adverts - please contact AWOL on awol@huahinmedia. com for prices and details. Please register on www.classifiedshuahin.com to place your ad there free of charge; a selection from there will be in AWOL every week. 14

Personals looking for health cover? Get a free consultation in your home or at our office - just call 089 546 2206 or email jeston@jbcthailand.com

Property release the equity in your property - Contact us on 089 546 2206 or email jeston@jbcthailand.com for a free consultation. luxury villa for sale. Two storeys, 15 by 4.5m swimming pool with bathroom and large deck, 4 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, very large lounge, raised dining area, fully fitted European kitchen, extra large Thai kitchen, separate bungalow with bath, large water storage tanks, sprinkler system, double car port. It is situated on 1.8 Rai of enclosed land in a secluded area 5 minutes from Hua Hin centre, and is a Chanote property that must be seen. Please contact 083 317 3008 for more information. Hua Hin Home for Sale. 3 bed, 2 bath home for sale with a western kitchen on 66 wah block close to Soi56. There is 1 air con and all the rooms have ceiling fans.There is a good out door living area with nice garden. Owners are relocating with in Thailand.Close offers considered. 2900000Baht. Phone 0899266645 Benji 4 Bedroom House in Khao Tao village. Half Rai plot. Within walking distance of Had Sai Noi beach. A/C and Internet line installed. 2,500,000 Baht. e-mail oy_brown@yahoo.com for ful details. Brand New 2 Bed, 2 Bath House For Sale. Fully Furnished, 50” TV, UBC, DVD Recorder, European Kitchen and UPVC windows, 3 A/C, central hot water, shared pool and gated community. Only 2,960,000 Baht! Option to purchase extra land adjoining. Call 0860100200.

Land for sale on Palm Hills, 741sq rai. Family llife time membership. Bargain Price 9,900,000 baht, call 0860100200. House for sale, Tippawan Village, Corner large plot, 3 bed, 3 bath. Room for a pool. Lots of extras in the house, it’s well worth a look. 5,200,000 Baht call 0860100200. Land Wanted - Banyan Approach Road. Interested in purchase of about 3 to 5 Rai suitable for a small private development. Specific area of interest is the approach road to Banyan Golf Club from Soi112. Must be realistically priced and adjacent to the tarmac approach road. No agents or overpriced offers. Immediate completion for the right offer. Reply to zeatrip@yahoo.com two bungalows for sale in the Kao Noi area, only 7 mins to Hua Hin town centre and beach. Both have 2 double bedrooms with air con and en suite bathrooms, large lounge/dining and European kitchen. One is fully furnished with completely fitted kitchen incl. appliances and jacuzzi in main bathroom at a bargain price of 3.6m baht, the other is unfurnished, available for 3.2m baht. Buy both for 6.4m baht. Contact 084 727 3863 for viewing and more details. property finance available- Just contact us to discuss the options that are available for Westerners on 089 546 2206 or email jeston@jbcthailand. com ECO FRIENDLY PEST control, non toxic, stain free, odourless domestic and commercial contracts available. Call for more details 0899109367 Steve

Rentals brand new house 5kms from Hua Hin centre. Spanish style, fully new furnished - Summerland residence, 2 bedrooms with air, 2 baths, European kitchen, living room, cable TV, LCD TV. Private swimming pool, security. Available by weekend, week, month or long term. Contact franckphuket@hotmail.com FOR RENT Twin/Double room in house on Soi Naebkehardt (near Soi 51). 10 Min walk to town or 2 Min by motorbike. Shared living and kitchen facilities. Air con (or fan), UBC Satellite TV, Off street parking. Suit couple or 2 sharing. Bht 4500 per month or Bht 1200 per week (Inclusive Electricity , Water, UBC) Call Ray on 0827278568 or Email raymathiesen02@aol.com House for rent Soi Hua-Hin 104 27,000/month House on area 80 Sq. 4 bedrooms , 2 bathroom, 1 living room, kitchen, microwave,fridge., washing machine, water heater, fully furnished, telephone, TV with local cable, garden, and carplots,etc. Near the beach, Shopping mall, market, Bank. Long term /short term please contact: beer Tel.081-3488629 or e-mail brew2beer@yahoo.com ROOMS TO RENT: Air conditioned, en-suite furnished, TV /DVD. bar/ restaurant on site. Pool and other facilities 10 mins from town centre. From 6000 Bt per mth Contact 0833111787 or pernodchris@hotmail.com

TA K E I T E A S Y AT

Sabai Bar

Beautiful 3 Bedroom Villa, two bathroom Villa for rent close to Hua Hin town center. Full western kitchen, A/C, hot water, modern decor and furniture, sleeps six, and a refreshing swimming pool out the front doorstep. Available by the day,week, month or longer. 18,000 Baht per month craigchapman@shaw.ca Luxury studio condo for rent. Very comfortable studio apartment in Hua Hin in a brand new boutique condominium block. 5 minutes walk from the Night Market, 10 minutes from the centre of the city, bars and nightlife and the beach. King sized bed, flat screen TV, balcony, air conditioning, free Internet, large swimming pool, fitness room and sauna. 24 hour security, car and motorbike parking. Available daily, weekly or monthly please email nickargles@yahoo.co.uk

Technology Apple iPod nano 1st gen 1GB in full working order and very good condition (has always had cover on). Complete with original box, installation CD , instructions and USB connecting lead.Free silicone cover. Cost ฿6,990 !!! from Index Hua Hin.Asking price ฿1500, will post to anywhere in Thailand by EMS free. Please ring Peter 087 1686 196 new dvd player with USB, two remotes and leads, 1000 baht. Contact Steve on 080 616 0458 desktop Computer, monitor, mouse, keyboard, modem and wireless router, new RAM, DVD burner, 15,000 baht o.n.o. Contact Steve on 080 616 0458 Power PC System For Sale Hewlett Packard Pavilion A6272L Intel Pentium 4 Dual Core 2 Ghz; 250 Gb Sata HDD; 1Gb Ram; HPw17E 17 In Flat Screen Monitor; Multi Card Reader; 4 USB 2.0 Ports (2 Front, 2 Rear); Windows Vista Home, MS Office, and other s/ ware. Internet will need reconnection. Canon Pixma MP145 All-In-One Printer, Scanner, Copier, Fax. DLink ADSL Wireless Modem/Router. Creative A300 2.1 Speaker System. Microsoft Lifecom 1.4 Webcam. Bht 35000 ONO. Call Ray 0827278568 or Email raymathiesen02@aol.com Website design and marketing services Professional website design, marketing and maintenance services. Get it done locally and save the money and hassle. We can also offer search engine optimization and link marketing solutions. Digital Metrix are well established in Hua Hin and offer only the best, call our sales office on 032-533371 or visit our site www.digitalmetrix.net

Wanted interested in pensions? We are looking for people, in particular UK pension holders, to attend a free seminar in Hua Hin on recent European Pension Law changes. Call 089 546 2206 or email jeston@jbcthailand. com to register your interest. PUSH BIKE REQUIRED Adult size push bike required in reliable condition. Hua Hin area. Phone Chris 08011 30320

Relax with an ice cold beer and a friendly welcome from Noi and the girls Get updated on the Hua Hin Golf Society with Kevin Play pool with the many regulars

Open every day from 12 Noon‘Til Late

Find us at 5 Soi Selekam, Hua Hin - from the Hilton go north along Naresdamri Road, take the first left and then the first right, and we are 40 m along on the right

Contact us: Noi 086-174-6165 Kevin 089-913-7926 email kevinmilke@yahoo.co.uk Visit Myanmar - Play golf in the Golden Land Escorted CustomTours - Enquire within 15

Harry

Second Hand automatic scooters for sale, all good condition, from 20,000 baht, call 0860100200 for prices and details. Suzuki GSXR 1000 K3 for sale. Year 2003, Invoice papers, very fast, reduced, now a bargain. P/X possible, good condition, 199,000 baht! Call 0860100200. motorbike and side for sale or rent. if you dont have a car,why not buy or rent a motorbike and sidecar. great for shopping or larger items. For details call 087107 8901 200cc 4 stroke bike well cared for with foreign owner only, never a rental, 16,000 km matching sidebags and front bag, brand new tires, new chain and sprockets, new filters and about 10 percent more power than normal phantom thanks to a mod, blue uv under lights. 45,000, 0841832806 MOTORBIKE FOR SALE - Honda ZX 50cc, no registation/no insurance/no licence required, good as new, 407km on clock - 11,000 baht - Contact Mick - 0870129615 For sale, 1975 Mercedes Benz 200 automatic, white colour. Good condition, original paint, airconditioning. Recently serviced. Price: 150.000 baht negotiable. Phone: 081-0108216 (English)

LUCKY SHOT BAR

Hua Hin’s only pool bar with THREE 9’ tables Ask about our drinks specials and other special offers Contact Andy on 086 178 1550 27/3 Poolsuk Road, Hua Hin

Hua Hin Pool Leagues

Hua Hin Pool Billiard League Results Matchday 28 30th October 2009 Home LSA RTB SB LSS EAG DA JWR TW

Rks 17 14 19

Pts 6 7 7

19 11 17 18

7 2 6 7

Away OCT DB LST JWB LSB QUE SUG PAT

Hua Hin Social Pool League Results League Table Week 24 – 28th October 2009 Team PP v Lazy Daze Not Received Queens Flower Bar Sabai v JW Red 9-10 Eagle Bar Jungle Juice A v Billys Babes 13-6 Thaiwaii Billys v Jungle Juice B 11-8 Lucky Shot A JW Black v U Turn 11-6 Lucky Shot Student's Headrock v Limelight 8-11 Week 25 results next week Next Week’s Fixtures Week 26 – 11th November 2009 No Game v Lazy Daze Red Bar v JW Red PP v Billys Babes Sabai v Jungle Juice B Jungle Juice A v U Turn Billys v Limelight JW Black v Headrock League Table Team JW Red J Juice B PP J Juice A Sabai H’drock U Turn Blys Bbs Lazy Dz L’light JW Black Red Bar Billys

P 22 22 21 22 22 23 21 21 22 22 20 22 21

W 19 18 16 13 13 10 9 9 8 7 8 5 5

L 3 4 5 9 9 13 12 12 14 15 12 17 16

F-A 224-194 241-177 216-183 230-188 218-200 224-213 205-209 193-206 198-220 200-218 174-204 187-231 165-232

Pts 38 36 32 26 26 20 18 18 16 14 14 10 10

Sunset Boulevard Octopussy Bar Johnie Walker Black Lucky Shot B Lucky Shot Thai Pats Point Return Bar Sugar Cane Bar Johnie Walker Red Dick's Office B Dick's Office A

P 28 28 28 28 28 28 28 28 28 28 28 28 28 28 28 28

Rks 11 8 6

Pts 2 1 1

8 16 11 8

1 6 2 1

W 21 22 17 16 16 15 15 12 10 11 10 9 6 5 1 0

D 5 2 8 7 6 6 4 5 6 2 4 4 4 6 4 1

Next Week’s Fixtures Matchday 29 6th November 2009 Dick’s Office B v Lucky Shot A Octopussy v Lucky Shot Th Lucky Shot Stud v Return Bar Lucky Shot B v Sunset B’vard JW Black v Dick’s Office A Sugar Cane v Eagle Queens Flower v Thaiwaii Pat’s Point v JW Red

L Diff. Rks 2 88 182 4 94 175 3 48 87 4 62 123 6 54 100 7 34 69 9 22 23 10 0 10 12 -4 -13 15 -20 -30 14 -32 -75 15 -22 -54 18 -36 -74 17 -56 -90 23 -114 -217 27 -118 -216

Hua Hin 9 Ball League Results Week 9 2/11/2009 Curly’s Bar B 12 - 14 Plas Place Dicks A 8 - 16 Curly’s Bar A Eagle Bar 11 - 14 Mr Dan A LilleMan 13 - 10 Dicks B

Pts 47 46 42 41 38 36 34 29 26 24 24 22 16 16 6 1

Next Week’s Fixtures Week 10 9/11/2009 Curly’s Bar A v Eagle Bar Dicks B v Curly’s Bar B Mr Dan A v LilleMan Plas Place v Dicks A

League Table Team P W D Eagle Bar 9 8 0 Mr Dan A 9 8 0 Curly’s A 9 6 0 Dicks A 9 3 1 Curly’s B 9 3 0 LilleMan 9 3 0 Dicks B 9 2 1 Plas Place 9 2 0

L 1 1 3 5 6 6 6 7

+/- Pts 72 16 42 16 9 12 -32 7 -12 6 -34 6 -9 5 -36 4

JUNGLE JUICE DAILY SPECIALS

Mon Tue Thur Fri Sat Sun

Fish & chips 140 B Chicken/Chips 160 B Bangers & mash 140 B Pork chop, veg 180 B Hotpot w/ veg 160 B Roast Lamb (NZ) 220B Pork & Chicken 180 B

19/1 Selekam Road, Hua Hin Tel. 087 153 2259 Email mueansean@hotmail.com

Results - Week 15 3/11/2009 Division 1 Lazy Daze v CAT A 5-13 JW Black v Dicks Office B 9-9 Scandic Bar A v ThaiWaii n/a Paradise v Oasis n/a Lucky Shot v JW Red 16-2 League Table Team CAT A Scan A JW Blk Lazy Dz Oasis P’dise ThiWai JW Red Lky Sht Dicks B

P 11 11 11 11 9 9 11 11 10 8

W 8 8 8 6 5 5 4 3 1 1

D 1 0 0 1 2 0 0 0 0 0

L 2 3 3 4 2 4 7 8 9 6

PF-PA 135-63 131-67 127-71 108-80 97-65 80-82 79-119 70-128 58-122 31-113

Top 16 Individuals Division 1 Top 10 Division 2 Jaew v Jungle Juice 9-9 Scandic B v Railway Tavern n/a Kom Hom Ladies v Kom Hom n/a Dicks Office A v Pat Point 18-0 Cat B v Scandic Bar C n/a League Table

Pts 17 16 16 13 12 10 8 6 2 2

Team Cat B Jaew Scan B Kom H J Juice KH Ls Scan C Pat Pnt R’way Dicks A

P 11 11 11 11 10 9 11 11 11 10

W 9 9 8 7 5 4 3 3 2 1

D 1 0 0 1 0 0 1 0 1 0

L 1 2 3 3 5 5 7 8 8 9

PF-PA 148-52 120-78 135-63 125-73 90-90 67-95 83-115 61-137 73-125 54-126

Pts 19 18 16 15 10 8 7 6 5 2

Please note: All tables not updated due to lack of results* Next Week’s Fixtures Week 16 10/11/2009 Division 1 Division 2 Lucky Shot v Lazy Daze Cat B v Jaew JW Red v Paradise Scandic Bar C v Dicks Office A Oasis v Scandic Bar A Pat Point v Kom Hom Ladies ThaiWaii v JW Black Kom Hom v Scandic Bar B Dicks Office B v CAT A Railway Tavern v Jungle Juice

Pool Leagues

brought to you by

Lucky Shot Bar

Hua Hin & Khao Takiab League 2009 League Table Team Harley’s Sunset B’d Thaiwaii Dizzy Dolp Bob/ Noks Free Time Oasis Garden 2 Dara Sports Bar Railway T Bobby’s

P W D 4 4 0 4 3 1 4 3 0 4 3 0 4 2 1 4 1 3 4 2 0 4 2 0 4 1 0 4 0 1 4 0 0 4 0 0

L 0 0 1 1 1 0 2 2 3 3 4 4

+/- Pts 26 8 12 7 20 6 14 6 12 5 8 5 8 4 4 4 -16 2 -26 1 -28 0 -34 0

Come

Darts Leagues

Results Week 4 4th November Bob and Noks 9 - 9 Free Time Bobby’s 4 - 14 Dizzy Dolphin Railway Tavern 5 - 13 Oasis Sports Bar 1 - 17 Harley’s Sunset B’vard 10 - 8 Garden Bar 2 Thaiwaii 13 - 5 Dara Next Week’s Fixtures Week 5 11th November Dizzy Dolphin v Dara Free Time v Bobby’s Garden Bar 2 v Bob and Noks Harley’s v Sunset Boulevard Oasis v Sports Bar Railway Tavern v Thaiwaii

Name

Bar

Total Points 1 Tao CATA 207 2 Golf SBA 177 3 Don CATA 170 4 Dicky JWB 165 5 Martin LD 161 6 Rune SBA 146 7 Mark O 143 8 Boy TW 133 9 Martin JWB 130 10 Noi CATA 128

Division 2 Top 6 Name

Bar

Total Points 1 Cop SBB 200 2 Ball CatB 182 3 Sak SBB 146 4 Howard KH 134 5 Brian KH 127 6 Tia SBC 126

*Scoresheets MUST be handed in by Wednesday night to have updated information in AWOL Hua Hin 8 Ball League Results Week 9 4/11/2009 Curly’s Bar B 5 - 7 Eagle Bar DicksB 5 - 7 DicksA LilleMan 3 - 9 MrDanA Pla’s Place v Komhom n/a Purple Pig 5 - 7 Curly’s Bar A League Table Team MrDanA Eagle Bar Curly’s A Komhom Curly’s B DicksA Pla’s Place LilleMan Purple Pig DicksB

P W D 9 8 1 8 7 0 9 5 0 6 4 0 9 3 2 9 4 0 8 3 2 9 2 1 9 1 3 8 0 1

L 0 1 4 2 4 5 3 6 5 7

+/48 28 -6 24 -4 -6 -6 -24 -26 -28

Next Week’s Fixtures Week 10 11/11/2009 Curly’s Bar A v Purple Pig DicksA v DicksB Eagle Bar v Curly’s Bar B Komhom v Pla’s Place MrDanA v LilleMan

Pts 17 14 10 8 8 8 8 5 5 1

Balloon Chasers Guide

Parties, special offers, regular events, celebrations and more; if you want it in AWOL email awol@huahinmedia.com or contact Noi at Sabai Bar (Tel: 086 174 6165) by Thursday noon every week. Regular Events Daily specials at Belga Cafe & Brasserie Mondays, Wednesdays & Fridays - Pool Leagues Tuesdays - Darts League (see p 17 for venues, free food for players) Fridays - Dizzy Dolphin Karaoke/ Live music alternate Fridays (ad p 3) - Dick’s Office open darts night from 7.30pm (ad p 20) - Bar-B-Q party every week at Le Velo Rouge, Khao Takiab Saturdays - Beach Hut Bar (ad p 11) live band every week Sundays - British style Sunday Roasts available at: Lin’s Cafe, Phetkasem Road between Soi s 80 &78 - Roast Beef Dinners Every Day (ad p 4), Jungle Juice, Soi Selekam (ad p 16), Dick’s Office, Soi 80 (ad p 20), Ye Olde Buffalo Tavern, Chomsin/Naresdamri (ad p 6), Jimmy’s Soi 102 Scandic Bar, Cha Am, open darts evening from 7.30pm . FREE return transport from Dick’s Office departs 7pm - please call 089 745 3992 (Anne) or 089 894 4310 (Mack) 3 hrs before to book transport

Hua Hin Golf Society

This week’s results: 3rd November - Banyan 36 Entrants Two groups Group ‘A’ - 0-18 hcp 18 entrants Stableford Competition 1st Colin Devonshire 35 pts 11 hcp. 2nd Tim Dixon 34 pts 7 hcp. 3rd Kevin Fennelly (g) 33 pts 12 hcp. 4th Nitha Dittkuhn 32 pts 13 hcp. Group ‘B’ - 19-36 hcp 18 entrants Stableford Competition 1st Hans van der Voort 35 pts 29 hcp. 2nd Sheila Dixon 33 pts 29 hcp. 3rd Kurt ‘Kurre’ Westerling 33 pts 19 hcp. 4th Sheila Bird 31 pts 22 hcp. Nearest the Pin No. 2 Roger Donaldson, No. 15 Roger Donaldson 30th October - Majestic Creek B & C Stableford 32 entrants 1st Kari Matti 42 pts 9 hcp. 2nd Kurre 41 pts 20 hcp. 3rd Mod Rea 41 pts 26 hcp. 4th Reto (g) 40 pts 8 hcp. 5th Bjorn Byman 39 pts 19 hcp) 6th Peter Tydeman 37 pts 18 hcp. Nearest the Pin No. 20C David Baird, No. 17B Mona de Brut Next week’s fixtures: Tuesday 10th Lake View - Matchplay Singles + Stableford Friday 13th Majestic Creek B/C - To be Confirmed

Butterfly Rock Golf

This week’s results: 2nd November Lake View A & B - Yellow/ White Tees Stableford Division 1 - 1-12.9 handicap - 11 players (white tee unless stated) 1st Reto Vorburger (10) 42pts, 2nd Kevin Fennelly (12) 36pts, 3rd Alan Rawson (13) 33pts Division 2 - 13 - 36 handicap - 11 players (white tee unless stated) 1st Fred Kroll (20) 37pts, 2nd Mike Lord (13) 36pts, 3rd Gary Ross (15) 35pts 30th October Palm Hills - stableford 19 Players entered Front 9 - 21 pts Timo Ripatti (6), Back 9 - 18 pts Jim Lynch (20) Overall - 36 pts Timo Ripatti 28th October Palm Hills - 2 Ball Better Ball stableford 11 teams 1st Paul Williams (2)/ Barbara Anstee (25) 46pts, 2nd Mike Lord (13)/ John Anstee (21) 45pts, 3rd John Barber (18)/ Gary Ross (15) 41pts Forthcoming Fixtures Monday 9th Nov - Lake View AB; Stablefordfrom 10am Weds 11th Nov - The Stylishgolf.com Trophy. Singles Medal format played at Black Mountain from 10.40. Donated by Paul Williams Friday 13th Nov - Palm Hills 18

FRIENDS of AWOL

Bars and Pubs

Beach Hut Bar (p11) Bob and Noks (p11) Bobby’s Bar (p7) Cookies (p11) Dick’s Office (p20) Dizzy Dolphin (p3) Erikssons Wärdshus (p7/19) Harley’s Bar (p5) Jungle Juice (p16) JW’s (p17) Lolitas (p10) Lucky Shot (p16) Railway Tavern (p9) Sabai Bar (p15) The Beer O’clock Club (p11)

Restaurants and Food

British Breakfast Foods(p7) Buffalo Tavern (p6) Hua Hin Ham & Bacon (p1) Kom Hom (p 13) Lin’s Cafe (p4) Lost Cafe (p 11) Sabai Restaurant (p2)

Activities and Services

classifiedshuahin.com (p8) The Dartman (p 7) Hua Hin After Dark (p20) J.B. Consultancy (p12) Observer Group (p 13) Siam Consulting (p 11)

Property

Brand New Houses (p10) Nong Kha Land (p7) Palm Hills Land (p5) Perfect Land (p5)

Charities

Hutsadin Elephants (p2) Do you want to advertise your business in AWOL? Email awol@huahinmedia.com

J.W’s

Pub & Restaurant Extensive Menu 8’ Pool Table Dart Boards

Home of the Hua Hin Darts Leagues

Located on Soi Selekam

E-mail: barrypm@hotmail.com

(all times Thai) Please note that tables opposite do not include the West Ham v Aston Villa result. Saturday, 7 November 2009 Aston Villa v Bolton, 22:00 Bolton were hammered by Chelsea and are looking like potential relegation candidates at the moment. Villa again look like contenders for the European places. Has to be a home win. Blackburn v Portsmouth, 22:00 Rovers are another team looking at the bottom of the table and Portsmouth finally got a result that their performances have deserved. Tough game though as the home side look to stem the recent influx of goals and a draw likely. Man City v Burnley, 22:00 This could be a very entertaining game and pretty close. City are in the doldrums but are still in good shape, while Burnley will be delighted with their showing so far. Narrow home win. Tottenham v Sunderland, 22:00

Spurs look to have petered out after their bright start and Sunderland are a bit shaky on the road despite the recent form of Andy Reid (above), Darren Bent and Kenwyne-Jones, so we are drawn to this being a draw. Sunday, 8 November 2009 Wolves v Arsenal, 00:30 A good result for the Wolves last week but Arsenal are in such impressive form at the moment it is hard to see them not winning. Away win.

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Hull seem to be in disarray at the moment and red hot favourites to Premier League Table be relegated. We expect Stoke to Team P GD PTS bully them and continue their good 1 Chelsea 11 20 27 form with an away win. 2 Man Utd 11 12 25 Chelsea v Man Utd, 23:00 3 Arsenal 10 19 22 4 Man City 10 7 19 5 Tottenham 11 4 19 6 Liverpool 11 9 18 7 Aston Villa 10 5 18 8 Sunderland 11 3 17 9 Stoke 11 -2 16 10 Burnley 11 -10 15 11 Fulham 10 0 14 12 Wigan 11 -9 13 13 Everton 10 -3 12 14 Birmingham 11 -4 11 15 Bolton 10 -5 11 16 Wolves 11 -7 10 17 Blackburn 10 -13 10 The top two clash and these are 11 -16 8 normally momentous games. 18 Hull 10 -4 7 Chelsea are clearly in better form 19 West Ham but United are getting results 20 Portsmouth 11 -6 7 while not playing well. No doubt AWOL-HHAD Challenge controversial, and no doubt Drogba, Fantasy League Rooney (above) and Terry will be The current top ten are: part of it. Score draw. # Team GW TOT West Ham v Everton, 22:00 77 613 The Hammers are showing signs 1 Sassy Thai 69 612 of regaining last season’s form but 2 simply red 61 602 their defence is a worry for Zola. A 3 Sorco United clean sheet here would do wonders 4 Mr ChaAming 64 584 with Carlton Cole regularly finding 5 Jobless Army 84 582 the net and with Everton not 6 Gusto Creative 74 574 exactly sparkling in front of goal 7 Wanderlust United 40 571 away from home we think this will 8 I am...Sasha Fierce 55 568 be a home win. 9 Huahindick 62 549 Wigan v Fulham, 22:00 10 Buksi’s Bombers 71 544 Wigan need to bounce back after last week’s poor showing, while Fulham will be keen to continue where they left off last week. We think the away side can do so away win. Tuesday, 10 November 2009 Liverpool v Birmingham, 03:00 You have to feel a bit sorry for Birmingham here, as they will surely catch the Reds backlash from last week’s defeat. Combine Soi 74 Hua Hin that with the return of key players and we predict an easy home win. Tomas Tel. 089 813 5332

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Football Preview Premier League Hull v Stoke, 20:30

FIFA demand gender test for Torres Liverpool star is ‘too pretty’ to be male manchester, england Premiership footballer Fernando Torres (right) has been asked to take a gender test to eliminate concerns he is a woman, according to football’s governing body FIFA. FIFA says it demanded the test three weeks ago amid fears he should not be able to play in the all male’ Premier League. Michelle Platini, himself a suspected women, said the “extremely complex, difficult” test results were not due for several weeks. “It will take us a considerable amount of time to check if Mr, or Mrs, Torres does, or does not, have the male sexual reproductive organs.” “This sort of test cannot be conducted quickly without medical specialists, there are several ways to cheat the traditional ‘cup and cough’ approach.” Liverpool Football Club, said that they are “completely sure” that Torres, 25, is a female but felt that she should be entitled to play in the all male league due to her popularity with team-mates Jamie Carragher and Steven Gerrard. A source at Liverpool said, “Jamie and Stevie have put in hours of hard work on the training ground with Torres and were both on the verge of securing a much sought

Dick’s Office

Bar/restaurant open daily Best Sunday Roasts now with NZ Lamb every week, extensive menu, good music, pool & darts competitions, big screen projector for live sports, Nintendo Wii, quiz nights, parties and more! Located on Soi 80 (Sarawat) Tel: 089-046 9505, 085-930 7232 email: huahindick@hotmail.com

triumph might be written out of the history books because of a technicality”. Under fire Liverpool manager Rafa Benitez will be hoping that he doesn’t lose the services of his golden girl, and may also have concerns that the gender testing will be applied to other members of his squad. Given that they have been playing like a bunch of old women recently there are now strong suspicions about a number of his players, most notably the after date”. waif like Yossi Benayoun, the “We would not have signed Torres Brazilian Lucas and the recently if she hadn’t been so pretty. She’s signed Thai player Kay ‘BaaBaa’ so graceful, with her flowing locks Kae (below). and smooth skin.” “Some of our fan base is made up of heterosexual males, and posters of Torres adorn the walls of many of those fans”. FIFA stated: “If it is proved that Torres is female, she will be withdrawn from all FIFA competitions and matches she was involved with will be forfeited to the opposition.” The Spanish Foreign Minister, Miguel Angel Moratinos, said “we have no issues with Torres’ gender. We may be filthy racists but you Kay Kae can’t accuse us of sexism”. a wolf in sheep’s clothing? He added, “We are however concerned that our Euro 2008

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