AWOL Issue 65

Page 1

ABSENT WITHOUT LEAVE FOR THE EXPAT IN ALL OF US What’s happening, and might be happening, in and around Hua Hin

Race to page 17 for more information! 032 547 199 (Office) or 081 817 3000 (Mobile)

We Want Snow! Poll reveals that Thais want it, expats miss it

hua hin, thailand AN exclusive survey carried out by Associated Weather Opinions Limited has revealed that far from the residents and visitors to Hua Hin feeling smug as they watch the chaos and mayhem in Europe and America brought about by the heavy snow and weather conditions, they actually want it here. The surprising poll results are at odds with the commonly held belief that the weather in Thailand is one of the major factors when people choose to visit or live here, although the Thai part of the poll is less surprising if you have ever spent any time on a Thai air conditioned bus. Participants in the survey were presented with a muff to keep them warm in case it does snow. The questions asked in the survey, carried out over four hours in the Lost Cafe, Khao Takiab last Saturday, and the varying answers to those questions were as follows:

(left)Sledging in the UK, January 2010; the big freeze brings joy to these youngsters but how would Thailand deal with snow?

“What is the white powdery stuff that falls from the sky called?” Snow - 67% Dandruff - 23% Don’t know - 8% Cocaine - 2% “Have you ever seen snow in Thailand?” No - 95% Yes - 4% Don’t Know - 1% “Would you like it to snow here?” Yes - 75% (Thai 90%) No - 20% Would it be free? - 5%

Continued on page 2

INSIDE AWOL Online Observer Free Classifieds Local ports Darwin awards Prediction fury

15 January 10

Had enough of serious internet forums? Join the AWOL forum at www.awolonline.net and have some fun!

FREE WEEKLY


Visit www.awolonline.net

We Want Snow!

Continued from page 1 (To foreigners)”Do you miss snow on any Hua Hin road - 11% when you see it on TV?” When Disneyland Hua Hin opens Yes - 69% - 9% No - 29% When Hotel California is never expletive - 2% played again in Thailand - 8% “What would be the first thing you would do if it snowed in While very few people (actually all Hua Hin?” except one) think it will ever snow Write name in it - 33% (90% of male in Hua Hin, local weather guru, responses) Pitpat Pitapata, is convinced that Snowball fight - 30% snow will fall here sometime in the Take a photo - 20% next fifty years. He said, “People Take another photo with the lens may laugh, but with the climate cap off - 5% changes being experienced now in Snow angels - 5% other parts of the world, I predict Sauna - 4% that tourists will be visiting Hua Ski down Binthabaht - 3% Hin not for the hot sun but for the “What do you think the chances excellent ski slopes!”. of it ever snowing in Hua Hin When it was pointed out to Khun are?” Pitpat that Thailand and Hua Hin When Hell freezes over - 24% were tropical climates because of When Sp*rs finish in the top 4 - 20% their proximity to the equator, and When the Olympics come to Khao thus nearer to the sun, he started Takiab - 15% humming to himself and stuck his When Michael Jackson visits Hua fingers in his ears, saying “I don’t Hin (again) - 13% want to hear it, it’s not true.” When there’s not a single pot hole

TNT BAR

dynamite coffee! with BonCafe explosive entertainment! Live music weekly Make your evening go with a bang! Find us on Soi Sarakam, between Sois Bintabaht & Selekam

light the blue touchpaper and retire 2

Got something to say? Need answers to questions? Join the new online AWOL discussion forum on the AWOL website www.awolonline.net

Hua Hin Sky Web Radio

hua hin, thailand ‘Good Morning Hua Hin’ is aimed at the growing contingent of foreigners living in and visiting the area and broadcasts every Wednesday and Thursday mornings between 9 and 12, by Sky Web Radio on 98.5 FM, and can also be listened to online.

It is a mix of music, information, phone ins and discussion of Hua Hin and Thailand. Hosted by Phil Cliffe, an English teacher, and Khun Oy, you can go and watch them in action in Market Village, or you can contact the show while they are on air; the phone number is 032 526398. Special guests will be a regular feature, and AWOL will feature on the show in 2010. Some of the topics covered so far include personal safety tips, Thais learning English and communication problems, road safety, Christmas in the Orient, Thai time versus GMT and the proposed BA strike over Christmas. Tune in soon!


AWOL Page 3

brought to you by

HARLEY’S SOI 80 (SARAWAT) BAR BAHT ANY 50 DRINK EVERY DAY 10AM - 5PM Sports TV, WiFi, Pool, Beautiful Girls

Under New Ownership 088 303 1227 (Pat)

Saskatchewan, Canada If you have seen the movie Bitch Slap, or played the video game, Resident Evil: Biohazard then you will know all about Julia Voth; well, enough to know why she is this week’s page 3 girl anyway! For anyone who hasn’t seen Bitch Slap, one reviewer described it as “a pure exploitation pic — chicks, boobs, guns and bad guys, in that order.” Speaking at the time Resident Evil: Biohazard was released, Julia said of the game, “Honestly I don’t like playing as Jill (Valentine, the character based on her). Playing yourself is a strange thing. However, my brothers loved to play me and, of course, kill me in gross ways.”

“The local establishment with local prices”

Excellent Thai & Western food Cajun/Louisiana style & Nightly Specials Our regulars recommend the BBQ Spare Ribs & the King Pork Chops

Thai & International Satellite channels Pool/ Darts & Karaoke (every other Friday) To find us, travel north on the canal road past the traffic lights and turn left at the bridge after the petrol station and right immediately over it. We are on the right. Tel. 032-522 418, 083-317-3008 12/10 Soi Samoprong, Hua Hin 3

Oh the

Join the AWOL forum


Visit www.awolonline.net

Weather, Money, Information brought to you by Local Forecast

Day Conditions Temp °C Low High Saturday Partly sunny and comfortable 21 30 Sunday Nice with clouds and sun 21 30 Monday Considerable clouds 21 30 Tuesday Pleasant with clouds and sun 21 31 Wednesday Turning out cloudy 22 31 Thursday Mostly sunny 23 32 Friday Snow* 23 32

World Forecast

Friday 15th January 2010 City Min Max Weather Amsterdam -5 1 Overcast Athens 8 14 T-Storms Auckland 16 24 Showers Beijing -10 -1 Fine Berlin -8 -6 Cloudy Buenos Aires 17 32 Fine Chicago -3 2 Drizzle Copenhagen -2 -1 Cloudy Dubai 15 25 Sctd Clds Dublin 5 5 Fine Geneva -2 3 Cloudy Helsinki -11 -2 Ptly Cldy Ho Chi Minh 19 32 Bright Hong Kong 14 21 Sctd Clds Islamabad 3 21 Clear Jakarta 24 31 T-Storms Jerusalem 9 15 Cloudy Jo’burg 15 27 T-Storms Karachi 14 26 Fine Kuala L’pur 24 32 T-Storms London 3 4 Rain Madrid 5 8 Showers Manila 26 33 Cloudy Mexico City 5 18 Rain Moscow -10 -7 Snow New Delhi 10 15 Fog New York -3 3 Fine Oslo -12 -4 Overcast Paris 3 7 Rain Perth 14 33 Clear Phnom-Penh 23 30 Sctd Clds Rio 23 40 T-Storms Riyadh 11 25 Clear Rome 3 12 Rain San F’cisco 8 13 Cloudy Singapore 24 33 Fine Stockholm -10 -6 Overcast Sydney 21 25 Showers Tokyo 1 9 Cloudy Vientiane 18 30 Ptly Cldy Yangon 18 35 Clear Zurich -2 2 Cloudy

4

Exchange Rates

At Thursday 14th January 2010 (mid-market rates) Currency Value (Baht) US Dollar 31.84 Pound Sterling 52.88 Euro 47.34 Japanese Yen 35.36 Malaysian Ringgit 9.09 Singapore Dollar 23.4 Brunei Dollar 22.85 Chinese Yuan 4.3 Indonesian Rupiah 2.1 Indian Rupee 0.62 Korean Won 0.0248 Australian Dollar 30 New Zealand Dollar 23.99 Swiss Franc 31.87 Danish Krone 6.17 Norwegian Krone 5.63 Swedish Krona 4.5 Canadian Dollar 31.33 UAE Dirham 7.22 Bahrain Dinar 58.95 Kuwaiti Dinar 58.12 Omani Rial 7.11 Qatar Riyal 9.1717 AWOL makes no warranties, express or implied, regarding these rates and shall not be liable for any losses or damages incurred in connection with them.

Get the latest Weather and Exchange rates on our website

www.awolonline.net

Lin’s Cafe

‘noted for fresh air and fun’

Lin’s Cafe

Open Every Day from 7.30am Big Breakfasts - Low Price Roast Beef Dinner only 160 bt Tel: 082 2512473 Phetkasem Road, near Soi 80

Useful Numbers

Emergency Calls Police 191 Crime 195 Fire 199 Traffic Control Centre 197 Highway Police 1193 Tourist Police 1699 Tourist Service Centre 1155 Missing Persons 02 282 1815 Hua Hin Police Station 032 511 027 Cha-Am Police Station 032 471 321 Hua Hin Hospital 032 511 743 San Paulo Hospital 032 532 576 to 585 Hua Hin Red Cross 032 512 567 Other numbers Hua Hin Tessabahn 032 511 047 Hua Hin Immigration Office 032 513 574 Hua Hin Bus Terminal (non air-con) 032 511 230 (air-con) 032 511 651, 512 543 Hua Hin Railway Station 032 511 073 Tourist Information Centre 032 512 120 Hua Hin Electricity 032 512 215 Hua Hin Water 032 511 677 TOT 032 519 000/001 TT&T 032 532 018 British Embassy Consular Correspondent: Steve Ketteringham 086 7933461 or e-mail on steve@ketteringham.com Hua Hin Sky Web Radio 98.5 032 526398 *Only joking! Mostly sunny


HUTSADIN ELEPHANT FOUNDATION

Help the Elephants of this area - many are now unable to be kept by their owners due to ill health, age or being unable to work any more. The Hutsadin Elephant Foundation will take care of these animals but needs both volunteers and donations to do so. Please help these gentle giants, or just visit them at the Foundation on the Pala-U Road.

PHOENIX BAR come and choose from the best and largest selection of music in town Big screen TV, Pool and Darts Make it your hideaway in Hua Hin

www.hutsadin.org email: hutsadinhuahin@ hotmail.com.

....STOP PRESS....

RELIABLE, HONEST, TALENTED & HARD WORKING CONSTRUCTION GANG FOUND IN HUA HIN. ANY JOBS UNDERTAKEN, ANYWHERE, FROM LEAKING PIPES TO COMPLETE HOUSES. Contact 081 614 8728 5

Weather

Join the AWOL forum


English corner

Have you ever wondered where a certain phrase comes from, or what it really means? Every week we will expand your knowledge of English and its etymology with a different word or saying. This week it is... By and large On the whole; generally speaking; all things considered. Many phrases are wrongly ascribed a nautical origin just because they sound like mariner’s lingo. This one really is and, like many such nautical phrases, it originated in the days of sail. To get a sense of the original meaning of the phrase we need to understand the nautical terms ‘by’ and ‘large’. ‘Large’ is easier, so we’ll start there. When the wind is blowing from some compass point behind a ship’s direction of travel then it is said to be ‘large’. Sailors have used this term for centuries. For example, this piece from Richard Hakluyt’s The Principall Navigations, Voiages, and Discoveries of the English Nation, 1591: “When the wind came larger we waied anchor and set saile.” When the wind is in that favourable large direction the largest square sails may be set and the ship is able to travel in whatever downwind direction the captain sees fit. ‘By’ is a rather more difficult concept for landlubbersto follow. In simplified terms it means ‘in the general direction of’. Sailors would say to be ‘by the wind’ is to face into the wind or within six compass points of it. The earliest known reference to ‘by and large’ in print is from Samuel Sturmy, in The Mariners Magazine, 1669: “Thus you see the ship handled in fair weather and foul, by and learge.” To sail ‘by and large’ required the ability to sail not only as earlier square-rigged ships could do, i.e. downwind, but also against the wind. At first sight, and for many non-sailors I’m sure second and third sight too, it seems impossible that a sailing ship could progress against the wind. They can though. The physics behind this is better left to others. Suffice it to say that it involves the use of triangular sails which act like aeroplane wings and provide a force which drags the ship sideways against the wind. By the use of this and by careful angling of the rudder the ship can make progress towards the wind. The 19th century windjammers like Cutty Sark were able to maintain progress ‘by and large’ even in bad wind conditions by the use of many such aerodynamic triangular sails and large crews of able seamen.

Talk is cheap! Joining the AWOL forum is free!

Easy sign up, and easy to use, join the newest addition to Hua Hin’s web community NOW! www.awolonline.net/forum 6

FRIENDS of AWOL

Bars and Pubs

Beach Hut Bar (p13) Beer O’clock Club (p13/ 19) Bob and Noks (p13) Bobby’s Bar (p9) Cookies (p13) Dick’s Office (p24) Dizzy Dolphin (p3) Dolphin Bar (p24) Erikssons Wärdshus (p9/23) Harley’s Bar (p3) Jungle Juice (p 5/ 20) Lolitas (p14) Lucky Shot (p20) Phoenix Bar (p5) Railway Tavern (p11) Sabai Bar (p12) TNT Bar (p2)

Restaurants and Food

British Breakfast Foods(p9) Buffalo Tavern (p8) Hua Hin Ham & Bacon (p1) Kom Hom (p15) Lin’s Cafe (p4) Lost Cafe (p13)

Activities and Services

Construction Gang (p5) The Dartman (p9) Go Kart Hua Hin (p1/ 17) Grand Sport (p7) J.B. Consultancy (p10) Observer Group (p 9) Siam Consulting (p 13)

Property

Curly’s Bar (p16) Nong Kha Land (p9) Perfect Land (p21) Property Marketplace (p7/ 14)

Miscellaneous

Hutsadin Elephants (p5) Do you want to advertise your business in AWOL? Email us at sales@awolonline.net or call us on 081 649 8361

Beg

Visit www.awolonline.net


Outside

Join the AWOL forum

Property Marketplace 1 An opportunity has arisen to acquire this last remaining

160 sq m condo with 100% private access to a stunning white sand beach with sweeping coastline. 15 min drive to Hua Hin Centre 3 Bed / 3 Bath Living: 150 sqm.

Sale price Was: 13.5 M

Now 9M!!

This magnificent two storey house is located 15 minutes drive to the south of Hua Hin.The property stands in its own spacious, tropical garden and benefits from beautiful and peaceful views of the surrounding green hills.

4 Bed / 3 Bath Land: 497 sqm. Living: 325 sqm.

Sale price Was: 11.9 M

Now: 6.75 M If you are interested in these properties please email us on info@awolonline.net or call 081 649 8361

AWOL Free Classifieds are now online! Quick and easy free registration, advertise for free your goods for sale, items wanted, personals, cars, motorbikes, houses for sale or rent, anything you want! Just go to www.awolonline.net and click on ‘Free Classifieds’ 7


10

%

O F

F

!

C B ut A v a W o uf t li n f h 2 d OL y a is 1/ u o l c 0 n u o o r T u 1/ t 1 0 il m av p e e o a r n l n o (d f u r o t in r a k a nd s 1 n 0 % pr o t d es in is e c c n lu o t d u n at e t d )

Visit www.awolonline.net

Public House and restaurant

Providing top class food and service since 1996 Coming Soon! Whole New Menu Bigger - Better - Cheaper!

Large selection of books in our book club Daily happy hour from 5 to 7pm

Located on the corner of Chomsin/ Naresdamri rd by the fishing pier Ample parking nearby For bookings or more information call 032 530087 or 086 603 5335

Weird News toronto, canada

Man arrested for drunk snow blowing A civic-spirited but ill-advised attempt to remove snow from a Canadian road caused traffic chaos, and ended up with a man being arrested for operating a snow blower while drunk. The 41-year-old man sparked mayhem in rush-hour traffic after pushing the snow blower into a major intersection on roads in Barrie, 50 miles north of Toronto, police said. Authorities say the man was almost hit by cars twice as traffic struggled to get through the large clouds of snow he was blowing up, before police eventually managed to reach him and put a halt to his snowblowing efforts. The man was arrested, held until he had sobered up, and charged with public intoxication. He didn’t offer an explanation to officers of why he was so keen to blow snow off the intersection. ‘His capacity to make sound decisions was obviously affected,’ police Sergeant Robert Allan told the Toronto Star. West Lothian, scotland Two escape ice canal car plunge Two men were plunged into a frozen canal after they decided it would be a good idea to drive a car along ice 8

covering the water, it was revealed today.

Police said the men, aged 22 and 24, were driving on the Union Canal near Winchburgh, West Lothian, yesterday afternoon when the ice gave way beneath them. They managed to escape from the Peugeot 406, which was discovered shortly afterwards by the emergency services, with the front section of the vehicle was submerged in the canal. Lothian and Borders Police said the men were later arrested and charged with reckless conduct. They will appear at Livingston Sheriff Court at a later date. A force spokesman said the men had a lucky escape: ‘While it goes without saying that the vast majority of people have the good sense not to take their vehicles on to frozen waterways, this incident serves as an example of the type of stupidity that the emergency services occasionally have to deal with.’


Join the AWOL forum

And Restaurant

ERIKSSONs WÄRDSHUS

Is

Bobby’s Bar

087 155 7737 or 089 985 7473 136/334 Soi 102, Hua Hin (opposite Coconut Grove)

All Domestic Beers 50 baht (small) Shorts incl. mixer from 40 baht sgl 70 baht dbl Try our Breakfasts from 99 baht and get it half price if you buy 2kg of Sausage/Bacon/Ham,

Nybörjar kurs i bridge Tisdagar 16.00 120 bath/gång Anmälan i restaurangen Tomas 0898135332

Bobby’s British Breakfast Foods

FOR SALE

as we are also home to

UK Sausages, Ham, Bacon, Pies, Teas etc.

Why not throw some arrows in our purpose built darts room, and stock up on darts supplies at the same time with 087 155 7737 Website under construction www.dartman.net Darts, Flights, Shafts from the UK.

Metroline cases from the US

10% OFF FOR DARTS LEAGUE PLAYERS

5 RAI LAND IN NONG KHA NEAR THE ROAD OPPOSITE HUAY MONKOL PRICE 2,000,000 BAHT 250 SQ. WAH LAND IN KHAO DANG PRICE 2,000,000 BAHT (8,000 BAHT/SQ. WAH) CALL 081 571 3003 (JA)

9


AWOL Sudoku brought to you by

“Just aBout Caring 4U”

J.B. Consultancy Services Each week we will present you with two Sudoku puzzles; an easy one and a hard one. Just fill in the empty squares so that each horizontal and vertical line has all the numbers 1 to 9, as well as each section. Sudoku Hints For Beginners Look for the obvious. Is there a section that has one cell unsolved? Quickly find the solution by counting from 1 to 9 locating each number in that row, column, or region. The missing number is the solution. Where do you start? Take a systematic approach to solving Sudoku. A good way to start is by first looking for a number that has the most “givens”. Look for the only possible choice. Sometimes there is only one place a number can possibly go. This is discovered by working systematically through each line and box in turn. Good luck!

J.B. Consultancy Services

YES YOU CAN! • Release capital in your property

• Obtain finance to buy property • Get impartial property advice (buyers and sellers) • Find your best insurance deal • Make your money work harder Affiliated with Thailand’s oldest Independent Financial Consultancy Co. Talk to JBC - the specialised centre for foreigners in Thailand Just Phone 08954 62206 or e-mail Jeston@jbcthailand.com

Puzzle 1 (Easy) Puzzle 2 (Hard) 3

1

6

9

2

7

4

5

8

6

1

9

2

7

3

5

8

4

5

8

9

3

4

6

2

7

1

8

4

5

6

9

1

7

2

3

2

8

1

4

6

7

9

7

4

9

5

5

2

6

3

6

5

4

5

5

8

8

8

9

2

2

2

7

1

1

1

3

4

7

3

8

4

1

7

9

6

3

Puzzle 1 2

7

1

3

4

5

6

9

8

10

6

9

3

1

8

7

2

5

4

8

4

5

2

6

9

3

1

7

3

5

7

8

9

4

1

2

6

4

1

2

5

3

6

8

7

9

9

6

8

7

2

1

5

4

3

5

8

4

6

7

2

9

3

1

6

9

7

1

5

6

8

3

9

8

3

4

1

2

3

4

9

2

7

6

5

7

9

1

4

3

5

2

2

3

5

2

3

6

7

8

8

7

9

4

6

1

8

4

1

5

6

5

4

8

9

7

3

8

7

6

9

1

3

4

8

5

3

9

4

5

8

7

6

2

3

4

Puzzle 2

2

5

8

Last week’s solutions 1

6

6

6

5

4

1

9

2

7

2

2

1

1

3

7

3

4

9

9

6

1

8

9

5

2

7

4

3

4

9

5

6

7

3

1

8

2

2

5

3

7

8

9

1

3

8

6

2

5

7

4

7

9

1

4

2

6

3

4

3

8

5

1

2

7

1

4

2

9

3

8

6

8

1

7

6

9

4

5

5

2

4

8

6

3

9

9

6

5

3

7

1

2

6

7

9

1

4

5

8

6

8

9

5

2

1

7

Give

Visit www.awolonline.net


AreaHA! HA!

555 HA! Send your jokes to submissions@awolonline.net and get your name in print! Brought to you by The Railway Tavern

Railway Tavern PUB & CAFE HUA HIN

SOI 88

085 429 0378

Visit Area 555 Uncut on www.awolonline.net

THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer who was also a blonde. The blonde cop asked to see the blonde driver’s license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated. “What does it look like?” she finally asked. The policewoman replied, “It’s square and it has your picture on it.” The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman. “Here it is,” she said. The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, “Okay, you can go. I didn’t realize you were a cop.”

THE ACCIDENT Hillary Clinton and her driver were cruising along a country road in upper New York State one evening when an ancient cow loomed in front of the car. The driver tried to avoid it but couldn’t—the aged bovine was struck and killed. Hillary told her driver to go up to the farmhouse and explain to the owners what had happened. She stayed in the car making phone calls to lobbyists. About an hour later the driver staggered back to the car with his clothes in disarray.. He was holding a half-empty bottle of expensive wine in one hand, a rare, huge Cuban cigar in the other, and was smiling happily, smeared with lipstick. “What happened to you?” asked Hillary. “Well,” the driver replied, “the farmer gave me the cigar, his wife gave me the wine, and their beautiful twin daughters made mad passionate love to me!” “My God, what did you tell them?” asked Hillary. The driver replied, “I just stepped inside the door and said, I’m Hillary Clinton’s driver and I’ve just had an accident and killed the old cow. The rest happened so fast I couldn’t stop it.”

The wisdom of Larry the cable guy...... 1. A day without sunshine is like night. 2. On the other hand, you have different fingers. 3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot. 4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name. 5. Remember, half the people you know are below average. 6. He who laughs last, thinks slowest. 7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm. 8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap. 9. Support bacteria. They’re the only culture some people have. 10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. 11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines. 12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments. 13. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand. 14. OK, so what’s the speed of dark? 15. When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane. 16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now. 17. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges? 18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines 19. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice? 20. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name? 21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, “What the heck happened?” 22. Just remember—if the world didn’t suck, we would all fall off. 23. Light travels faster than sound. That’s why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. 24. Life isn’t like a box of chocolates. it’s more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow.

11

Frightful

Join the AWOL forum


Monkey Your STARS with The Sage my.opera.com/bentrein

brought to you by On strict doctor’s orders, Spanky has been told to rest this week, so we have another stand in astrologer trying to take his job from him. We don’t know why really, as the pay is peanuts and the working conditions would be reported to the authorities if anyone ever escaped felt that bad about them. Cancer Capricorn Jun 22 - Jul 22 Dec 22 - Jan 19 The stars, in their infinite wisdom, indicate You’ll take it like a man this week, which pretty much just means you’ll be too embarrassed to ask that the cute blonde you’ve been pointing them out what “it” is. Take heart: There are people with bigger to couldn’t be more bored if she tried. Judging by that problems than yours, and acting like you care about lightheaded, dreamy feeling, this would be a good time to stop giving blood. them will get you laid. Leo Aquarius Jul 23 - Aug 22 Jan 20 - Feb 18 You’ll continue to grow as a human being this You said you’d never forget all the little people who helped you along the way, but since becoming week, much to the relief of all those geneticists. rich and famous you haven’t thought about those However, in many ways, you’re still a child. None of them, however, will prevent you from being tried this midgets once. week as an adult. Pisces Virgo Feb 19 - Mar 20 Aug 23 - Sep 22 Were it officially sanctioned, judged by an Home is where the heart is. Specifically, beneath impartial panel, and taking place somewhere other than your kitchen late at night, you’d pretty much the floorboards of the common room. You’ll find yourself shunned when the man you famously taught shatter all existing hot dog eating records. to fish dies of mercury poisoning. Aries Libra Mar 21 - Apr 19 Sep 23 - Oct 23 Turns out it’s not your relationship with your Every day on Earth is like a beautiful gift from father that’s been eating you up inside, but rather a three-foot long parasite lodged directly below your God, which is thoughtful and all, but you’d probably prefer something you can actually use. kidney. Scorpio Taurus Oct 24 - Nov 21 Apr 20 - May 20 Juggling three young children isn’t easy for any It takes a real man to admit when he’s made a mistake. However, now that you’re a woman, you can mother, but then, that’s why you start with tennis balls and bowling pins first. A man is defined by the blame the sex-change operation on someone else. decisions he makes. Not listening to this piece of trite Gemini advice is probably a good start. May 21 - Jun 21 Sagittarius While it’s natural for human beings to be Nov 22 - Dec 21 resistant to new ideas, after losing your family, job, Nothing will be what it seems this week, and home, it’s probably time you start accepting some from passersby. Due to its high incidence of hijinx, especially breakfast sausages. The debate over stun tomfoolery, and puns, you’ll finally decide to stop guns will take a strange turn when you drunkenly decide that they probably wouldn’t work on you. answering doors during knock-knock jokes.

TA K E I T E A S Y AT

Sabai Bar

Relax with an ice cold beer and a friendly welcome from Noi and the girls Get updated on the Hua Hin Golf Society with Kevin Play pool with the many regulars

Open every day from 12 Noon‘Til Late

Find us at 5 Soi Selekam, Hua Hin - from the Hilton go north along Naresdamri Road, take the first left and then the first right, and we are 40 m along on the right

Contact us: Noi 086-174-6165 Kevin 089-913-7926 email kevinmilke@yahoo.co.uk Visit Myanmar - Play golf in the Golden Land Escorted CustomTours - Enquire within 12

Count

Visit www.awolonline.net


Join the AWOL forum

Contact info@awolonline. net or call 081 649 8361 for more information

COOKIES “A big name in this town”

Ice cold beer - Spirits Bar snacks - Pool Music - Live sports It takes the biscuit! 084 569 5537 brithai@hotmail.com

SPORTS GUESTHOUSE BAR R E S T A U R A N T

032 536970 or 087 599 1913

International Wines, Bottled & Draft Beers Two satellite systems showing live sports Tel 032 511624

Get your business on the map! Contact sales@awolonline.net or call 081 649 8361

B

CH H U A E BAR

T

Coming soon! A special section for Khao Takiab on our new website www.awolonline.net

But

Visit the village discover Khao Takiab

Have your party or celebration here for FREE (minimum 30 people) Live music & food available Phone: Fluke: 084 159 5502

Bob & Noks Bar

Home of Khao Takiab Golf Society Motorbike / Car Rentals Club hire 089 586 1700

FREE EVERY FRIDAY IN HUA HIN, CHA AM AND KHAO TAKIAB FOR THE EXPAT IN ALL OF US

SIAM CONSULTING HUA HIN CO. LTD. COMPLETE EXPAT INSURANCE SOLUTIONS HEALTH (up to age 85), CAR, HOUSE, COMMERCIAL

085 962 2232 or 032 512075 franckphuket@hotmail.com

13


Visit www.awolonline.net

Does life suck? Have your troubles blown away at

Lolitas

Soi Selekam Open 11am - 1am

Your Problems SOLVED

DEAR MARY, There’s a man at work who has expressed an interest in going out with me, but I am not sure what to do. The main problem is that he is a bit of a loner and, if I am honest, a little weird. It’s not that I’m obsessed with appearances, but he wears very thick glasses, has a greasy comb-over and a nervous twitch which involves him licking his lips frequently. I’ve also noticed he carries a bread knife and a roll of duct tape about in a carrier bag wherever he goes. I might be being overly suspicious, but something is preventing me from going out with him. However, aside from these minor things he seems to be a really sweet man and I feel a bit sorry for him. I am also desperate for a shag and he is the only one to have shown any interest in me for months. Should I accept his advances? Elizabeth, Chumphon

Relationship woes? Bar girl blues? Sexual deviant? Send your problem to Mary Ann Cotton on submissions@awolonline.net

Dear Elizabeth, You don’t mention in your letter either this man’s first name nor what he does at your workplace, but these are important indicators as to how you should deal with this. If his name is Josef, Adolf or Fred then this is a clear warning not to go near him. If he is a filing clerk, works in accounting or has a mind numbingly repetitive job, avoid him like the plague. If he has both of the above, then change jobs immediately. However, if his name is Simon, John or Finbar then you should be in safe hands. If his work is something creative or people orientated you should also feel comforted. And the two together should result in a fantastic date and a wonderful night of love making. However there is still a 25% chance that you will have the duct tape placed roughly over your mouth and be slowly butchered to death with the bread knife, but I think those are odds that most desperate women can live with. Adds a bit of excitement to the date as well, don’t you agree?

Property Marketplace 2

Recently refurbished 2 bedroom condominium with great This stunning 2-storey house is located about 10 minutes’ sea views, each bedroom comes with en- suite bathroom as drive from Hua Hin town - located on an extremely popular, well as 1 guest bathroom in the living room. Complimenting small development. the large living area is a fully fitted European standard kitchen and comes fully furnished.

2 Bed 2 Bath 169 sqm.

Land: 760 sqm. Living: 240 sqm.

Sale price Was: 7.9 M Now:

Sale price Was: 11.9 M Now

14

8.5 M

5.95 M

If you are interested in these properties please email us on info@awolonline.net or call 081 649 8361


The

Join the AWOL forum

Established in Hua Hin since 2006

Meet Old Friends, Make New Ones on Soi 102 Mouthwatering A La Carte Menu With Thai And European Specialities Served In A Unique Atmosphere And Relaxing Ambience

Free Wi-Fi, Pool, Darts, Live Sports

Fun Charity Quiz and Bingo Nights Live Music Events Contact us on 0879179579

Quick XWord 12. Warmth Across 15. Permit 1. Reduces speed 16. Drool 6. Personal 18. Family name 8. Hollowed inward 19. Pilfer 9. Acknowledgement of debt 10. Donations to the poor

Take Away Free Local Delivery

brought to you by

Down 1. Eye-glasses 2. Not closed 3. Small fish 4. Fermented grape juices 5. Steep-sided valley 7. Near the equator

11. Measuring instruments 13. Academy award 14. Actor’s parts 17. Bicycle

Last week’s solution right

15


Visit www.awolonline.net

CLASSIFIEDS Business

Teerak Wedding Studio - Professional Photography. Teerak Wedding Studio is now opened in Hua Hin! Celebrating its 7th Branch. Expats in Hua Hin/Cha Am can now enjoy our special packages for Wedding, Family, and Fashion occassions. We cover services from Photography, Bridal Make up, Ceremony Photography, Bridal Gowns rental, and many more. For more information, please visit our website www.teerakstudio.com SMALL FISH AND chip bistro for sale. Opportunity to buy a great little existing business with many resident customers and many regular overseas customers who always come in for the best traditional fish and chips when they visit Hua Hin. Sensible price plus cost of stock on hand.Any interested parties please contact Mike on 0811 491431 bar for sale in Khao Takiab in up and coming area. Property includes the bar and fittings, Kitchen, and seven rooms which are currently used as owner and staff accommodation, with seperate access Long lease, 10,000 baht a month rent, would suit a couple. Tel. 084 569 5537. INVESTMENT OPPORTUNITY FOR RESTAURANT/TAVERN OPERATORS. A three storey, three units building located on a main soi to several housing sub-divisions; one of the units is double size. The Restaurant/Tavern occupies the double unit and has been operating since 2007 with steady positive growth. The core clientele are resident farangs with Thai families, thus the business is not dependent on high season and the tourist trade. The second floor consists of six rooms plus three baths and storage areas. The entire third floor is a two bedroom, two bath townhouse with deck. The staff are completely trained and capable of total operation. This is a walk-in takeover opportunity for a select investor. This chanute property is open to sales offers and business proposals. Please call 083 317 3008 for more information. Yoga for your life !!! Come and feel the spirit of yoga in the beautiful location of Hua Hin. Yoga classes held in the morning, afternoon and evenings as you like. The Yoga Instructor will really bring out the essence of yoga and mediation, the union of mind, body and spirit. Breathe is ecologically aware, combining organic ingredients,with an incomparably warm atmosphereIf interested please email : thid_suttha@yahoo.com or call for more info. Thyda S.: 087 - 0146729 Paintball Park business for sale, located in a busy area with elephant show/rides, ATV’s, horse rides, jet ski’s & water sports, offering great potential for increased business, as well as many regular clientele, includes ownership of all equipment, Guns, Masks, Boots, uniforms, paintballs, tools, Gas bottles large & small, All current advertising as well as complete playing field fully fenced with obstacles & Building with 3 rooms, kitchen, bathroom, large office/lounge area, air conditioned & fully furnished. Rent is only 12,500 Thai baht per month paid up until January 2010, for Approx. 2 Rai of land, with 7.5 yrs remaining on lease,(2.5yrs plus option for 5yrs). Fully staffed. A Great opportunity to get involved in this fast growing & popular sport. Now Reduced for quick sale due to medical reasons, 350,000 Thai baht o.n.o. All offers considered. Be Quick Must Go!!!! ph: 089 549 0355 Hua Hin Thailand. Email: splatpaintball@live.com

CURLY’S BAR FOR SALE ONLY ONE MILLION BAHT, OWNER RETIRING First class modern bar in a prime location on Petchkasem Road, four doors from 7-11, corner of Soi 80, plenty of passing and regular trade. Completely refurbished, everything new. Price includes: Fully equipped kitchen, Pool table, flat screen TV, UBC, Air con, all bar furniture.

Property comprises bar/kitchen downstairs, two bedrooms upstairs (One large, one double with ensuite shower), 30 feet plus lounge with new tiled floor.

Two and a half year lease, renewable, rent 20,000 baht per month Please call Terry on 089 8816490

BAR FOR SALE Hua Hin Phetkasem Road central position. Good passing trade, 600, 000 Baht, Partnership considered. Phone 085 295 1595 (Steve) Swimming Pool Service Expert swimming service such as cleaning, maintenance, chemical treatment,change spare part etc. contact: mobile phone 086-9977371,email:permsopa_t@hotmail.com bar for sale pool table, ps2 game tables, projector TV in Poonsuk rd. 950,000 call 081-378-3436 BOAT TOURS FISHING snorkelling tours to suit your needs from 1850 to 2300 baht p/p. Private charter available at very good rates. Call for more details 0837336695 Kannika

Employment Qualified Thai Teacher. I am looking for a qualified Thai Teacher who is enthusiastic and has good English. You would be expected to work Monday to Friday 8-5.30pm and would be based at a small Home Learning Centre in Hua Hin. You will work with children aged 4-6 years old and be able to take responsibility for some lessons independently and work alongside the British teacher to provide the curriculum. If you are interested please call Emma 08704 89558 Childminder/ housekeeper wanted. Mostly evenings and weekends, about 15 to 20 hours per week. Must be able to speak some English and ideally have own transport. Please call 081 649 8361. Licensed driver for Toyota Commuter wanted, hotel pick-up and drop, brand new van, drive an average of 20 days a month, from 07h to 18h, only Thai citizen. For conditions call Fred at 0890148546. Part time teachers wanted. We are seeking part-time Native English speaking teachers. Must have credentials. Also seeking Native Thai teachers to teach Thai to English speakers. Age not important. Male or Female. Facility is licensed by Ministry of Education. Email CV with photo to: bapakdon@gmail.com

General Snorkelling gear, mask, snorkel and fins size 43/44. Bargain 400 baht. Tel. 089-0702423 Child’s cot/playpen for sale. Folds down into carry bag. Includes nappy changing table, mosquito net, useful storage pockets and mattress. Only 1 year old, new was 6000 baht, will sell for 3000 or offers. Call Steve on 081 649 8361. Panasonic kx-ft907 fax/answer/ phone etc as new 2000 baht ph Sheila 0810064010

CLARINET FOR SALE. Always wanted to play the clarinet? Here is your chance; Almost new Pearl River Clarinet in the key of Bb features solid ebonite body, power-forged nickel silver keys, nickel silver bell ring, undercut toneholes, traditional sculptured spatula keys, and 17 keys and 6 rings (Boehm system). Includes handy case, clarinet stand, and mouthpiece. A fine instrument in excellent condition, THB 18,500. bamassen@hotmail.com acoustic 12 string guitar, Tanglewood full size, excellent condition with case and tuner, 15,000 baht ono. Contact Tip on 089 549 0355 Watercooler for sale 2nd hand watercooler for sale, holds 40 litres of water. (normal price new 16700 Baht,) will sell for 6000 Baht. Phone no. 0846309925 For Sale Golf Clubs Calloway Big Bertha irons set. I-Brid long irons replace 3,4 and 5 standard irons 6-PW standard irons. Right hand regular graphite shafts. Total clubs = 8, BHT 20,000. I-Brid irons blend the control and accuracy of irons with the forgiveness of hybrids. These clubs have only been used twice on a driving range. Retail price 30,000 BHT plus. Contact Peter Tel 0848 729 123 Are You a Tall Golfer in Search of Golf Clubs? Callaway Big Bertha 460 Driver 10.5 loft, Mid torque, mid kick callaway 80 gram shaft. (On R&A conforming list) Matching 3 and 5 fairway metals. Cleveland (tour action) TA7 Irons, THESE ARE TWO INCHES LONGER THAN STANDARD, 3 to Sand Iron, dynamic golf steel shafts. Odessy White Steel 2 ball putter + Wilson Pro Staff putter, Titleist Black golf bag. All clubs genuine, no copies. Price 10000 Baht. Contact Mike on 0892279653 3x Red cotton rugs 1.75cm x 80cm Bt 500 each, Imported Rosewood Bar with 2 stools and large wine cooler Baht 45,000/-. Original Oil Painting Baht 4,500/-, Custom made wooden sideboard Baht 10,000/-, Custom made TV Unit 12,500/-. 084 911 4201 Classic British Comedy. All the old British Comedy classics (complete series)plus cult movies (60’s onwards) and documentaries. call 081-8113845

Motoring 3 Honda Clicks for sale, second hand, red, white and a blue, all are taxed and insured for 1 year, they are 2 – 3 years old, prices are 25,000 – 28,000 baht. Please call 0860100200 for more details. Honda Wave 125i 2008 Model, Disc Brake Type Perfect Condition! Used Less 1,200kms. only Sale = 38,000.- Baht, Ready to transfer Call : 087-169-6658

How to place a classified advert in AWOL and AWOLonline: Option 1 - send an email to classifieds@awolonline. net; Option 2 - write out the details clearly in BLOCK capitals on paper and deliver it to Noi at Sabai Bar, Soi Selekam; Option 3 - register on the classifieds section of www.awolonline.net and place your advert there. All options must be taken by 6 pm on the Tuesday before the printed issue you want to be included in. All adverts are free and will be included for at least four weeks automatically, except for adverts by large companies - please contact AWOL on sales@awolonline.net for prices and details. 16


GET RACING FROM ONLY 400 BAHT! OPEN EVERYDAY 10.30AM - 7PM, LATE NIGHT BY APPOINTMENT www.gokarthuahin.com Yamaha virago 400cc prime condition. New tires, newly chromed,newly modified body. Owner needs to go home. 65,000.00 Baht negotiable. Call me! 0877504404 JET SKI FOR sale 150,000 Baht, one owner, Seadoo Bombardier XP Ltd Edition, imported new 2001 from Australia. 135 HPR 950 cc Rotax racing engine, very low hours, comes with trailer + impact jacket. Very fast, good condition. Tel 089 550 8501 Land Rover dark green, four new tyres, serviced regularly, Isuzu diesel engine, restored good condition. 135, 000 baht. Phone Sheila 081 006 4010 mitsubishi triton plus, 2007, 2.5 litre Diesel, 2 wheel drive, manual transmission, full option, Carry Boy and roof rack, MP3/DVD/CD player, LCD Screen. 45,000 kms, full service history, first class insurance until April 2010. 550,000 baht negotiable for quick sale due to new vehicle arriving. Call Patrick on 089 798 2450. honda crf for sale, 250cc 4 stroke, motor crosser, 2005, 85,000 baht, call 0860100200. Harley PM, 1450cc, 2000 Model, Black, Former Heritage Softail. New design with PM parts & accessories. Reduced to 990,000, call 0860100200. Suzuki DRZ 400, electric start, Yellow, like new, with invoice papers. 140,000 baht call 0860100200. TAXIS BANGKOK AIRPORT Pattaya at very competitive prices. Call Kannika on 0837336695 Second Hand Nouvo for Sale, 25,000 Baht, call 0860100200. motorbike and side for sale or rent. if you dont have a car,why not buy or rent a motorbike and sidecar. great for shopping or larger items. For details call 087107 8901 Suzuki GSXR 1000 K3 for sale. Year 2003, Invoice papers, very fast, reduced, now a bargain. P/X possible, good condition, 195,000 baht! Call 0860100200. MOTORBIKE FOR SALE - Honda ZX 50cc, no registation/no insurance/no licence required, good as new, 407km on clock - 11,000 baht - Contact Mick - 0870129615 For sale, 1975 Mercedes Benz 200 automatic, white colour. Good condition, original paint, airconditioning. Recently serviced. Price: 150.000 baht negotiable. Phone: 081-0108216 (English) suzuki bandit v 400cc for sale 70,000 baht. Call Nu on 086 548 3613

Personals looking for health cover? Get a free consultation in your home or at our office - just call 089 546 2206 or email jeston@jbcthailand.com

Property HOUSE FOR SALE. 3br/2baths, large living room, small kitchen and dining room. Huge covered patio [big enough to build small house]. Safe, quiet, no flooding[make sure about this when you buy]. Moving back to USA and must sell. 1.5 million baht; the land is worth 2 million. Call 080 244 6739. condochain 13th floor one bedroom condominium for sale;kitchen, bathroom, balcony, recently redecorated, 3.6 m baht or near offer. Call Joyce on 085 701 7187. Large Town Centre House For Sale, 3 Bed / 4 Bath, Large pool, Jacuzzi and garden, Gym, Massage & cinema room, plus much much more, located on Soi 94, priced competitively at 14.9million baht, please call 0860100200 for more details.

Call 032 547 199 (Office) or 081 817 3000 (Mobile) Soi 2, Phetchkasem Road opposite Hua Hin Airport

available now! off road 4 speed 125cc Fun bikes in two sizes as shown below. Priced at 27,999 and 32,999 baht respectively. Have a test ride at Go Kart Hua Hin - call 032 547 199 (office) or 081 817 3000 to arrange one or for more information.

release the equity in your property - Contact us on 089 546 2206 or email jeston@jbcthailand.com for a free consultation. Brand New 2 Bed, 2 Bath House For Sale. Fully Furnished, 50� TV, UBC, DVD Recorder, European Kitchen and UPVC windows, 3 A/C, central hot water, shared pool and gated community. Only 2,960,000 Baht! Option to purchase extra land adjoining. Call 0860100200. 4 Bedroom House in Khao Tao village. Half Rai plot. Within walking distance of Had Sai Noi beach. A/C and Internet line installed. 2,500,000 Baht. Call 0866 068 387 or e-mail oy_brown@yahoo.com for full details. Palm Hills Large Plot For Sale, 741sq rai, last plot of this size. It is competitively priced and has great unconstructed views of the 7th green and 8th tee, Family membership and house plans included if wanted, priced very cheap at 9.9 million baht, please call 0860100200 for more details. property finance available- Just contact us to discuss the options available for Westerners on 089 546 2206 or email jeston@jbcthailand.com luxury villa for sale. Two storeys, 15 by 4.5m swimming pool with bathroom and large deck, 4 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, very large lounge, raised dining area, fully fitted European kitchen, extra large Thai kitchen, separate bungalow with bath, large water storage tanks, sprinkler system, double car port. It is situated on 1.8 Rai of enclosed land in a secluded area 5 minutes from Hua Hin centre, and is a Chanote property that must be seen. Please contact 083 317 3008 for more information. House for sale, Tippawan Village, Corner large plot, 3 bed, 3 bath. Room for a pool. Lots of extras in the house, it’s well worth a look. 5,200,000 Baht call 0860100200. ECO FRIENDLY PEST control, non toxic, stain free, odourless domestic and commercial contracts available. Call for more details 0899109367 Steve

3 bedroom, 4 bathroom villa with private pool. AC in all bedrooms. Quiet location in Khao Tao village close to Had Sai Noi beach and five minutes from four golf courses. Phone and internet. European kitchen. Spacious and airy living area. Well stocked, secluded garden. Available part furnished or unfurnished. Garden maintenance included. 28,000 per month. Contact dougal.brown@yahoo.com ROOMS TO RENT: Air conditioned, en-suite furnished, TV /DVD. bar/ restaurant on site. Pool and other facilities 10 mins from town centre. From 6000 Bt per mth Contact 0833111787 or pernodchris@hotmail.com brand new house 5kms from Hua Hin centre. Spanish style, fully new furnished - Summerland residence, 2 bedrooms with air, 2 baths, European kitchen, living room, cable TV, LCD TV. Private swimming pool, security. Available by weekend, week, month or long term. Contact franckphuket@hotmail.com FOR RENT Twin/Double room in house on Soi Naebkehardt (near Soi 51). 10 Min walk to town or 2 Min by motorbike. Shared living and kitchen facilities. Air con (or fan), UBC Satellite TV, Off street parking. Suit couple or 2 sharing. Bht 4500 per month or Bht 1200 per week (Inclusive Electricity , Water, UBC) Call Ray on 0827278568 or Email raymathiesen02@aol.com

Wanted TODDLER BED REQUIRED - We are looking for a toddler bed (3+ years) with mattress in good condition. email: leximanee@gmail.com interested in pensions? We are looking for people, in particular UK pension holders, to attend a free seminar in Hua Hin on recent European Pension Law changes. Call 089 546 2206 or email jeston@jbcthailand. com to register your interest.

Rentals Rent house. 4br/2baths, large living room, large kitchen and Den. 2 balconies - both large, front and back. Comes furnished. 15,000 month. 4 km from town centre. Call 080 244 6739. SHOP 4 RENT - looking for a shop/restaurant to rent? 12,000THB/mth only, email leximanee@gmail.com house in town. 2br/2baths. large living room. small dining room. small kitchen. huge covered patio. air in 1 br. unfurnished. safe. no flooding. 7,000baht month for long term only. call 0802446739

17

Fire

Join the AWOL forum


Visit www.awolonline.net

AWOL’s Cryptic Crossword Following a number of reader requests, we are bringing to you every week a cryptic crossword to supplement our Quick XWord on page 15. No prizes, just the personal satisfaction of unriddling, anagram spotting and deciphering the clues. We hope that you will all enjoy our latest addition to AWOL’s roster, and please let us know what you think about this and any other part of the paper, by emailing us on info@awolonline.net. The solution to this puzzle is on page 21, and space permitting we will have a new puzzle and solution every week. If you are interested in sponsoring this or any other section, please contact us on sales@awolonline.net or call 081 649 8361. Sponsorships are available from a minimum of three months (13 issues) and are a cost effective way to promote your business, starting from only 1000 baht. Across 8 Girl returning former partner’s building (6) 9 Stress caused by same ship (8) 10 Turned and wrote a poem again? (8) 11 Give away that woman, preferably (6) 12 Half of students: “I love an apartment” (6) 13 Finding no start to table-topping (8) 14 Disease has head of department transfixed (7) 16 Clergymen - annoying things, without right ideology at first (7) 20 In French, five run away to gasbag (8) 23 Wild wolves’ sounds of speech (6) 25 The Somerset village way (6) 26 Grovelling stick, natural on the inside (8) 27 Kicking-out of novice, it might be (8) 28 Team from the Spanish level (6)

Down 1 Bell to forge gold (8) 2 Member to object to fable (6) 3 Reportedly watch playwright at the place near the ocean (8) 4 Ganges initially follows country without delta changing direction (7) 5 (Supernatural) life (6) 6 Party leader’s newspaper item - it’s very small (8) 7 Bird has no gripe changing right away (6) 15 Act of a number, in before church (8) 17 Exposed meat in the grass (8) 18 Let Dante become gifted (8) 19 Decline of French smell (7) 21 Born as a citizen - innocent, without a hint of tainting (6) 22 Get a bit on order (6) 24 Pedestrian conflict, like I lost internally (6)

Disclaimer: All articles are published in good faith and based on information available to us at publication, No responsibility is accepted other than that stipulated by law. Although the information in this publication has been obtained from sources believed to be reliable, AWOL cannot guarantee accuracy in all cases. Any opinions expressed are those of the contributor and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher.

All materials copyright. All rights reserved and no part of this publication may be reproduced in part or in full without the previous written consent of the publisher. Neither can any part be stored in a retrieval situation, nor transmitted by electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or any other means. AWOL is printed by Petchpoom Printing, and we can be contacted on info@awolonline.net or 081 649 8361. AWOL Co. Ltd., 136/229 Emerald Hill, Soi 6, Mooban Borfai, Hua Hin, Prachuap Kiri Khan, 77110, THAILAND.

18


Join the AWOL forum

Is

World News

Lidl opens first Dubai supermarket

dubai, UAE As prices on the Dubai stock market dropped even further, pushing the emirate to the brink of financial collapse, Lidl announced plans to cater for the newly poor Arabs by opening a flagship store in Dubai. With Dubai World struggling to pay its debts, Lidl have snapped up a prime location near Jumeirah beach from which they will provide discount foods to poverty stricken oil men. A Lidl spokesperson told us, “We make it our mission to provide discount products wherever they are needed, whether that be a council estate in Manchester, or a bankrupt emirate in the gulf.” “We do not discriminate, and we feel paying 5p for a tin of beans should be the fundamental right of every poor person on the planet.” “The fact that some of them drove to the supermarket in a platinum plated Rolls Royce is irrelevant.” A Dubai spokesperson said they were delighted by Lidl’s move to include them in their global bargain shopping family. “We are glad to see the name Dubai mentioned in the same breath as Runcorn, Basildon and Stockport.” “We continue to welcome tourists to Dubai who can now experience our new world of frugal entertainment.” “Why not spend the day playing in the sand - we have a lot of that, and it’s free.” “Then pop to the supermarket and feed a family of six for a tenner.” “We like to think of ourselves as Clacton with sunshine.”

Small island nation running low on supplies of salty sand

Great britain The small island nation of Britain is running short of grit for the nation’s snow-covered roads as experts wrack their brains trying to discover a way to get their hands on lots and lots of salty sand. Thousands of roads across the nation remain impassable thanks to significant snowfall and continued cold weather, with many councils running low on stocks of salted sand to treat the roads in their communities. “We’re at a loss what to do, we’re almost out of salty sand, and aren’t expecting another delivery till next week”, said a Cornwall council spokesperson Andy Bell.

“I went for a walk along the beach this morning in the hope of coming up with a solution.” “Plus the beach is just about the only place I can walk safely at the moment, because for some unknown reason the snow doesn’t seem to have settled anywhere the beach.” “Unfortunately, as solutions go, I drew a complete blank.” The issue has left many councils with little option but to consider significant road closures. Mr. Bell continued, “If only there was somewhere close by where we could go and simply help ourselves to a seemingly limitless supply of well-salted sand, this issue would

A beach in Cornwall, amazingly clear of snow go away almost over night.” “So, if any members of the public know of a large sources of salty sand that could be made readily available, preferably free of charge, I urge you to contact your local council immediately.” 19


Visit www.awolonline.net

LUCKY SHOT BAR

Hua Hin’s only pool bar with THREE 9’ tables Ask about our drinks specials and other special offers Contact Andy on 086 178 1550 27/3 Poolsuk Road, Hua Hin

Hua Hin and Khao Takiap Ladies Pool League Results Week 1 11th January 2010 Bob and Nok’s 9 - 1 Railway Tavern Kum Koon 5 - 5 Garden Bar 2 Sports Bar 7 - 3 Cookies Sunset Boulevard 3 - 7 Dara Bar League Table Team Bob / Nok’s Dara Bar Sports Bar Garden 2 Kum Koon Cookies Sunset B’d Railway T

P W D 1 1 0 1 1 0 1 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 1 1 0 0 1 0 0 1 0 0

L +/- Pts 0 8 2 0 4 2 0 4 2 0 0 1 0 0 1 1 -4 0 1 -4 0 1 -8 0

Next Week’s Fixtures Week 2 18th January 2010 Cookies v Bob and Nok’s Dara Bar v Sports Bar Garden Bar 2 v Railway Tavern Sunset Boulevard v Kum Koon

Pool Leagues

Hua Hin Pool Billiard League League Table Team Thaiwaii Eagle A Braze Head Tattoo Oasis Lucky Shot Student's Johnie Walker Black Dick's Office A Sunset Boulevard Eagle B Dick's Office B Johnie Walker Red Lucky Shot A Sugar Cane Bar Lucky Shot B Queens Flower Bar Return Bar

P W D 1 1 0 1 1 0 1 1 0 1 1 0 1 1 0 1 1 0 1 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 1 1 0 0 1 0 0 1 0 0 1 0 0 1 0 0 1 0 0 1 0 0

L Diff. Rks Pts 0 8 14 2 0 6 13 2 0 6 10 2 0 4 3 2 0 2 5 2 0 2 4 2 0 2 4 2 0 0 2 1 0 0 -2 1 1 -2 -4 0 1 -2 -4 0 1 -2 -5 0 1 -4 -3 0 1 -6 -10 0 1 -6 -13 0 1 -8 -14 0

Results Matchday 1 8th Jan 2010 Home LSS BHT DA OAS TW SB JWR EA

Rks 14 19 16

Pts 5 7 5

15

6

20 14 11 19

8 4 3 7

Away LSA LSB DB SUG RTB EB JWB QUE

Rks 9 9 12

Pts 3 1 3

12

2

6 12 15 6

0 4 5 1

Check out the new online AWOL forum - join up and start a discussion about your league! www.awolonline.net/forum

This Week’s Fixtures Matchday 2 15th Jan 2010 Lucky Shot A v Lucky Shot B Lucky Shot Stud v Dick’s Office A Sugar Cane v Braze Head Tattoo Dick’s Office B v Thaiwaii Eagle B v Oasis Return Bar v JW Red Queens Flower v Sunset B’vard JW Black v Eagle A Next Week’s Fixtures Matchday 3 22nd Jan 2010 Dick’s Office A v Lucky Shot A Lucky Shot B v Sugar Cane Thaiwaii v Lucky Shot Stud Braze Head Tattoo v Eagle B JW Red v Dick’s Office B Oasis v Queens Flower Eagle A v Return Bar Sunset B’vard v JW Black

JUNGLE JUICE DAILY SPECIALS

New Tennis Tournament The inaugural Hua Hin city wide tennis championships is taking place

on January 22nd,23rd and 24th 2010 at Palm Hills sports centre with both men’s and women’s singles and doubles. 100 baht entry fee for each event and all players must bring a new can of balls. The winner gets the new can, the loser the old can. Players must reside in the Hua Hin area. All levels are welcome including instructors and hotel hitters. Sign up at Hua Hin Today newspaper or Palm Hills sports club. Please call 080 244 6739 for any other information. 20

Mon Tue Thur Fri Sat Sun

Fish & chips 140 B Chicken/Chips 160 B Bangers & mash 140 B Pork chop, veg 180 B Hotpot w/ veg 160 B Roast Lamb (NZ) 220B Pork & Chicken 180 B

19/1 Selekam Road, Hua Hin Tel. 087 153 2259 Email mueansean@hotmail.com


Join the AWOL forum brought to you by Lucky Shot Bar Hua Hin Social Pool League Hua Hin & Khao Takiab 2009 Results Results Week 4 6/1/10 Week 12 13th January 2010 No Game v Billys Babes Bobby’s v Bob and Noks n/a Jungle Juice B v JW Red 11-8 Oasis v Garden Bar 2 n/a King Ladies v Int/l B’fly Bar n/a Railway Tavern v Free Time n/a Lord Nelson v Lazy Daze A 8-11 Sports Bar v Dizzy Dolphin n/a U Turn v Red Bar 8-11 Sunset Boulevard v Dara n/a Limelight v PP 7-12 Thaiwaii v Harley’s n/a Results and Table not updated Headrock v London Bar n/a Lazy Daze B v Sabai 7-12 League Table Team P W D L +/- Pts JW Black v King Bar Men 8-11 Billys v Jungle Juice A 10-9 Thaiwaii 11 8 2 1 48 18

Pool Leagues

Oasis Harley’s Garden 2 Dizzy Dolp Sunset B’d Bob / Noks Dara Free Time Sports Bar Bobby’s Railway T

11 11 11 11 11 11 11 11 11 11 11

9 8 7 5 6 5 4 3 2 1 0

0 0 1 3 1 1 2 3 0 1 2

2 44 3 36 3 16 3 18 4 4 5 4 5 -6 5 0 9 -58 9 -52 9 -54

18 16 15 13 13 11 10 9 4 3 2

Next Week’s Fixtures Week 13 20th January 2010 Fixtures not available at press time due to website being down

Week 5 13/1/2010 Jungle Juice A v No Game King Bar Men v Billys 6-13 Sabai v JW Black 8-11 London Bar v Lazy Daze B 11-8 PP v Headrock 10-9 Red Bar v Limelight 9-10 Lazy Daze A v U Turn n/a Int/l B’fly Bar v Lord Nelson 10-9 JW Red v King Bar Ladies 12-7 Billys Babes v Jungle Juice B 6-13

Now online! All the local sports results as soon as they are available on our website, www.awolonline.net Just click on ‘Local Sports’ and then the sport of your choice

Cryptic Crossword Solution Here is the solution to AWOL’s cryptic crossword, which is on page 18 - we know how frustrating it is to have to wait a week for the answers to these brain teasers so please try not to cheat!

So

Next Week’s Fixtures Week 6 20/1/10 No Game v Jungle Juice B King Bar Ladies v Billys Babes Lord Nelson v JW Red U Turn v Int/l Butterfly Bar Limelight v Lazy Daze A Headrock v Red Bar Lazy Daze B v PP JW Black v London Bar Billys v Sabai Jungle Juice A v King Bar Men League Table Team J Juice B PP Billys L’light King Men JW Red J Juice A Sabai Headrock London Lazy Dz A Lzy Dz Gls JW Black Red Bar King Ldys Billys Bbs Int/l B’fly Ld Nelson U Turn

P W L 5 5 0 5 5 0 5 4 0 5 3 2 5 3 2 4 3 1 4 3 1 5 2 3 5 2 3 4 2 2 3 2 1 5 1 4 4 1 3 4 1 3 4 1 3 3 1 2 4 1 3 4 0 4 4 0 4

+/Pts 63-32 10 62-33 10 55-40 10 49-46 6 47-48 6 45-31 6 43-33 6 48-47 4 45-50 4 36-40 4 29-28 4 38-57 2 37-39 2 34-42 2 32-44 2 30-27 2 25-51 2 29-47 0 28-48 0

Darts Leagues

DARTS MEETING AT JW’S TUESDAY 19TH JANUARY 7.30PM

Perfect Opportunity Land For Sale!

5.3 Rai only 10 min walk from Black Mountain Golf Course. Sweeping mountain views, next to new road with electricity and water.

2 million baht/ rai or offers. Telephone 089 542 7431 (Eng) or 085 174 6855 (Thai)

21


Visit www.awolonline.net

Balloon Chasers Guide

Parties, special offers, regular events, celebrations and more; if you want it in AWOL email info@awolonline. net or contact Noi at Sabai Bar (Tel: 086 174 6165) by Thursday noon every week. You can also join the AWOL forum at www.awolonline.net/forum and post details of events there. Friday 15th January - Buffalo Tavern Quiz Night with Indian Curry (ad p 8) Regular Events Live music every night from midnight - at Heaven on Soi Binthabaht Daily specials at Belga Cafe & Brasserie Everyday Happy Hour at Headrock 10am - 8pm (until 2am Mon & Fri) - 55 baht all beers and selected spirits Every Day - Harley’s Bar all drinks only 50 baht 10am to 5pm. (ad p 3) Every fortnight - Komhom Fun Charity Quiz and Bingo night (please check; see ad p 15) Fridays - Dizzy Dolphin Karaoke/ Live music alternate Fridays (ad p 3) Dick’s Office open darts 7.30pm (ad p 24) Saturdays - Beach Hut Bar (ad p 13) live band every week Sundays - British style Sunday Roasts available at: Lin’s Cafe, Phetkasem Road between Soi s 80 &78 - Roast Beef Dinners Every Day (ad p 4) Jungle Juice, Soi Selekam (ad p 20) Dick’s Office, Soi 80 (ad p 24) Ye Olde Buffalo Tavern, Chomsin/Naresdamri (ad p 8) Scandic Bar, Cha Am, open darts evening from 7.30pm . FREE return transport from Dick’s Office departs 7pm - please call 089 745 3992 (Anne) or 089 894 4310 (Mack) 3 hrs before to book transport

Hua Hin Golf Society

The AGM will be held on 22nd January 2010 at The Imperial Lake View Hotel & Golf Club. The meeting for members only will be held directly after our competition on that day. The Hua Hin Golf Society will provide a buffet meal. AGENDA 1. Minutes of the last AGM 2. Matters Arising 3. Treasurers Report 4. Chairman’s Report 5. Charity Proceeds 6. Election of Committee Members 7. Informal Discussion on Any Other Business This week’s results: 12th January 2010 - Banyan 51 Entrants Group ‘A’ - 0-18 hcp 26 entrants Stableford Competition 1st Eric Taylor 39 points 17 hcp. 2nd Colin Devonshire 39 points 11 hcp. 3rd Bob Hilling 36 points 16 hcp. 4th Kark Westerholm 36 points 8 hcp. 5th Kurre 36 points 17 hcp. 6th Erkki 36 points 17 hcp. Group ‘B’ - 19-36 hcp 25 entrants Stableford Competition 1st Jim Lynch 38 points 22 hcp. 2nd Peter Wyler 37 points 19 hcp. 3rd John Anstee 35 points 19 hcp. 4th Dawn Hyde 34 points 24 hcp. 5th Andy Bayes 34 points 21 hcp. 6th David Baird 34 points 25 hcp. Nearest the Pin No. 2 Andy Bayes, No. 15 Andy Bayes Next week’s fixtures: Sorry, Members only until further notice Tuesday 19th Black Mountain - 1st Tee Time 9.36 - Stableford Friday 22nd Lake View - 1st Tee Time 11.00 (A & B) 2 Man Best Ball - Members Only followed by the AGM

22

Butterfly Rock Golf

This week’s results: 13th January Black Mountain - Stableford white tees 23 players entered Division 1 - 11 players - 0 - 13 handicap 1st - Paul Williams (2) - 37pts, 2nd - Bob Welsh (9) - 36pts, 3rd - Gez Tracey (13) - 34pts 2nd Division - 12 players - 14-36 handicap 1st - Mike Lord (14) - 41pts, 2nd - Phil Simons (22) - 35pts, 3rd - Dermot Murphy (16) - 34pts 11th January Lake View AB - Stableford & Skins 27 players entered 1st Division 13 players 0 - 14 handicap 1st - Geoff Batt-Rawden (9) - 38pts, 2nd - David Baker (11) - 37pts, 3rd - Barry Fitzgerald (13) - 34pts 2nd Division 14 players 15 - 36 handicap 1st - Jim Lynch (21) - 38pts, 2nd - Thew Khantonghao (30) - 37pts, 3rd - Martin Lewis (20) - 35pts 6th January Royal Ratchaburi - Bisque Bogey format 15 players entered 1st - John Anstee (22) - 3up, 2nd - Phil Simons (22) - 3up, 3rd - Pak Soontornmanee (26) - 3up Forthcoming Fixtures Mon Jan 18th Stableford/Skins at Lake View Wed Jan 20th 3 Man Texas Scramble played at Sawang from 10am Friday Jan 22nd - Palm Hills


Football Preview Premier League

(all times Thai) Saturday, 16 January 2010 Stoke v Liverpool, 19:45 We think that you would have got pretty good odds against there being only 3 places between these sides at this stage of the season, and a win for Stoke here would move them within six points of the Reds. We think they will do it as well. Chelsea v Sunderland, 22:00 Tricky one to predict with Chelsea missing some key players such as Essien and Drogba (below). This will be tight and we’re plumping for a nil-nil draw.

Man Utd v Burnley, 22:00 Surely Burnley can’t go to Old Trafford and get a result? We think the answer is no, despite the Red Devil’s wobbly form, we can’t see them not getting a comfortable win here. Portsmouth v Birm’ham, 22:00 Home games like this are vital to Pompey’s chances of survival but Birmingham are in good form. Unlikely to be many goals but we think this might be a surprise home win. Tottenham v Hull, 22:00 This should be a straightforward home win for Spurs, but Hull have had a habit of upsetting the form teams in the past. Spurs are also missing a couple of key players. We think this will be too close for comfort and a narrow home win. Wolverhampton v Wigan, 22:00 A vital game that both need to win and consequently hard to predict. Neither are very consistent but both are capable of good performances. Sit on the fence time and a draw. Sunday, 17 January 2010

brought to you by

Everton v Man City, 00:30

Sponsor this section!

Premier League Table 1 Chelsea 20 29 45 2 Man Utd 21 27 44 3 Arsenal 20 30 42 4 Man City 20 14 38 5 Tottenham 20 20 37 6 Aston Villa 20 11 35 7 Liverpool 20 12 33 8 Birmingham 21 2 33 9 Fulham 20 4 27 10 Stoke 20 -7 24 11 Sunderland 20 -3 23 12 Everton 20 -6 23 13 Blackburn 21 -18 21 14 Burnley 20 -18 20 15 Wolverhampton 20 -19 19 16 Wigan 19 -23 19 17 West Ham 20 -9 18 18 Bolton 18 -10 18 19 Hull 20 -22 18 20 Portsmouth 20 -14 14

A very good performance from the Toffees against Arsenal in one of the few games played last weekend will have given them a lot of confidence. In City however, they are facing a confident team with Carlos Tevez (above) in red hot form. Looks like an away win to us, but it will be close. Aston Villa v West Ham, 20:30 Unless a takeover and the signing of a new striker happen in the next couple of days there appears to be absolutely no way that the Hammers can get anything from AWOL Challenge this. Home win. Fantasy League Blackburn v Fulham, 22:00 Top 10 Rovers will be glad of this game GW after being comprehensively # Team 1 simply red 15 beaten on Monday night. Fulham 2 Sassy Thai 15 are still brittle away from home but are in good form. Looks like a 3 I am...Sasha Fierce 34 4 Huahindick 38 nailed on draw to us. Bolton v Arsenal, 23:00 5 Wanderlust United 54 Quite a tester for a new manager’s 6 Mr ChaAming 14 first game, and we don’t think Owen 7 Gusto Creative 37 Coyle will be able to assemble a 8 Thailand Lover 4 silk purse from the sow’s ear that 9 Greenwood Blues 44 is Bolton. Unless the Gunners have 10 Sorco United 11 one of those mad days that they sometimes have where they try to walk the ball into the net, this should be a convincing away win for the Wenger boys.

TOT 1107 1103 1102 1083 1071 1067 1062 1031 1017 1010

ERIKSSONs WÄRDSHUS

V75 Live Every Saturday Soi 74 Hua Hin Tomas Tel. 089 813 5332 23

Delightful

Join the AWOL forum


Visit www.awolonline.net

LIVERPOOL SQUAD DOWN TO FOUR PLAYERS

liverpool, ENGLAND RAFAEL Benitez last night said he had cleared out the dead wood from the Liverpool squad, leaving him with the four players he really needs. Thirty seven players have been sold by the manager, raising almost £400 in transfer fees. Many fetched far greater sums than expected as they came equipped with their own boots and training bibs. Benitez said: “We no longer have Dossena clumping around the pitch like 14 stone of porridge in shorts, but we do have a new kettle for the boot room.” Liverpool will be looking to their talismanic players Torres and Gerrard even more in the coming months as they will be expected to cover nine-tenths of the pitch by themselves.

“I said ‘pass to the primadonna with the big boobies’!”

Benitez said Reina will continue to man the goal and defensive duties will be covered by Carragher, adding: “Selling a fat Russian porn actor masquerading as a striker was one thing, but trying to offload a defender with the turning circle of a dead horse and an accent like a tuba having a row was impossible.” The manager said the club’s next big task is to move the entire stadium slightly to the left ‘so we can unearth the pirate king’s onions that have cursed us with poor results’. Assistant manager Sammy Lee said “I can’t leave him alone for five minutes. Last year he set fire to the pitch because the grass was ‘looking at him funny’. Please do bear with us, it won’t be long now.”

Liverpool director to take lessons in English swearing liverpool, ENGLAND

After resigning from his role on the board of the club, former Liverpool FC director Tom Hicks Junior is to undergo intensive swearing training, following his overly-Americanised attempt to abuse a supporter. An Anfield spokesperson told us, “We have let Tom Hicks Jnr know in no uncertain terms that insults such as ‘blow me f***face’ are not of the quality we expect from Liverpool football club representatives.” A fans representative spoke of their disappointment, “Liverpool has a rich seam of perpetuated stereotypes with which to enhance any insult, yet he chose not to use any of them. Not a single mention of signing on, going thieving, or ‘calming down’. It’s typical of the dismissive nature of our current owners to make such a prosaic insult.” Hicks Jnr. has been enrolled in a three months intensive course run by one of the nation’s most beloved swearing experts, Gordon Ramsay. “He should be embarrassed, frankly,” began Ramsay upon reading Hicks’ application for his swearing course. “He went with ‘Blow me f***face’? Christ, even my week one students know he should have said, ’suck my wrinkly ballsack, c***-knuckle’ - it’s basic swearing at the most elementary level. Come and see him in April, I’ll have him putting together the most beautifully exotic insults, crafted from the finest expletives these shores have to offer. Or he’ll just be calling everyone a c***.”

Dick’s Office

Bar/restaurant open daily Best Sunday Roasts now with NZ Lamb every week, extensive menu, good music, pool & darts competitions, big screen projector for live sports, Nintendo Wii, quiz nights, parties and more! Located on Soi 80 (Sarawat) Tel: 089-046 9505, 085-930 7232 email: huahindick@hotmail.com

24

Dolphin Bar

9 foot Pool Table (Brunswick Metro) Swimming Pool Happy Hour from 11am to 7pm Phone 082 842 1617 Located just off the Chomsin/Pala-u Road


Turn static files into dynamic content formats.

Create a flipbook
Issuu converts static files into: digital portfolios, online yearbooks, online catalogs, digital photo albums and more. Sign up and create your flipbook.