AWOL Issue 285

World Cup Wallchart

Your free weekly newspaper since 2008

issue 2 85 6 June 2014

Weather To Hull And Back Classifieds FLASH! AAH AAH!

on track

dual track railway project to go ahead, but high speed trains in doubt

hua hin, THAILAND In an announcement on Monday, National Council for Peace and Order (NCPO) chief Gen Prayuth Chan-ocha said that the dual-track railway project will go ahead, while the high-speed railway project will be subject to a new cost-benefit study.

Other parts of the past government’s transport and infrastructure spending plans are also likely to be reviewed as state agencies were ordered to look again at the budgets set by the last administration.

The railway projects of course have a direct impact on Hua Hin, and it is good news that the dual track sttetching from Nakhon Phatom, west of Bangkok, to Padang Besar on the Malaysian border, going via Hua Hin is to be completed. That stretch is expected to cost a total of over 100 billion baht, with some of it underway already and estimated to be completed by 2019.

In addition to the review of the high speed links, it was also announced that parts of the 350 billion baht water management scheme previously planned would be under review, while others would continue with the help of the army.

In other coup-related news, it was announced on Tuesday that the curfew was being lifted in the key tourist resorts of Phuket, Pattaya and Koh Samui, following appeals from tourism bodies. The Association of Thai Travel Agents urged the coupmakers two weeks ago to relax the curfew in main tourist destinations in the three locations, as well as Hua Hin and Krabi, and it must be hoped that these will be included soon.

Victor

guesthouse open 24/7

Naresdamri Rd. opposite Brasserie de Paris

Rooms/family suites in heart of Hua Hin a/c, lcd tv, dvd player, fridge, free premium wifi, cable TV www.victorguesthousehuahin.com

GET RACING FROM ONLY 400 BAHT! OPEN EVERYDAY 10.30AM - 7PM, LATE NIGHT BY APPOINTMENT Call 032 547 199 (Office) or 081 817 3000 (Mobile) Soi 2, Phetchkasem Road opposite Hua Hin Airport

www.gokarthuahin.com

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W!

NE

hiltON street (down to the Pier)

UNDER NEW MANAGEMENT

BAR & RESTAURANT

BBQ, Ribs, Chops, Burgers, Snacks etc Eat In or Take Out

Tel. 032 511564

victor

residence

daily - weekly - monthly air con, lcd tv, dvd, wi-fi, fridge, cable, terrace with sea view Email: victor.residence@gmail.com

K I N G BAR 2

OPEN EVERY DAY FROM 1PM TO LATE

12/10 Soi Samoprong, Hua Hin Tel. 032-522 418 or Located off the canal road north of the traffic lights; turn left at the bridge after the petrol station and right before the 7-11. We are on the right.

080 652 0531

THE PLACE to be newly refurbished the meeting place for golfers and caddies good music and lots of fun

LIVE SPoRTS EVERy dAy FooTbALL GoLF RUGby and many more THE KING BAR is near the top of SOI BINTABHAT (opposite the HILTON HOTEL) - for directions or more information call 0861708720 or 032 532603. Come and see why tourists and locals alike, make THE KING BAR the most popular and enjoyable place in Hua Hin to see and be seen. www.kingbarhuahin.com

THE

BRIDGE KHAO TAKIAB Try Ning’s Indian cuisine and Thai delicacies

Right fork past the police station and we are 100m further on the left over the bridge

Tel. 089 586 1700

New Sports Pub In Khao Takiab

Op e fro n da m il to 4pm y 1a m

W! NE OUR Y TR IZZA! P

EVERY FRIDAY NIGHT TRY OUR BBQ - only 280 baht!

Food Bar snacks served ‘til late Live Sports Drinks Football Draft beer Rugby Guinness Golf Cocktails Tel. 092 791 7879 Find us on Khao Takiab Road opposite the turning for Anantasila Hotel

page 3 girls wanted!

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Simply email to submissions@awolonline.net with a picture of yourself, call 086 562 3178 or contact us via the AWOL Facebook page (AWOLexpat)

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Unique tours athere the WFFT Wildlife Rescue www.wfft.org Advertise from only 40 Center baht- per week

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AWOL with Lynn Photos coutesy of Haribo

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WEATHER

AND TIDES

BROUGHT TO YOU

BY LIN’S CAFE NOTED FOR FRESH AIR AND FUN

World weather (6-6-14)

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CITY Amsterdam Ankara Athens Auckland Beijing Berlin Buenos Aires Cairo Chicago Copenhagen Dubai Dublin Geneva Helsinki Ho Chi Minh City Hong Kong Islamabad Jakarta Jerusalem Johannesburg Karachi Kuala Lumpur London Madrid Manila Mexico City Moscow Mumbai New Delhi New York Oslo Paris Perth Phnom-Penh Rio De Janeiro Riyadh Rome San Francisco Seoul Shanghai Singapore Stockholm Sydney Taibei/Taipei Tokyo Vancouver Vientiane Yangon Zurich

Min. Max. Weather 11 18 Showers 13 26 Showers 15 27 Fine 9 18 Showers 23 26 Rain 14 19 Rain 8 16 Cloudy 18 43 Haze 11 19 Fine 11 18 Showers 28 37 Clear 10 17 Bright 10 21 Cloudy 13 23 Chance of Rain 24 32 Thunderstorms 28 31 Thunderstorms 26 42 Clear 24 33 Cloudy 27 28 Cloudy 4 20 Fine 23 35 Smoke 25 33 Fine 10 19 Bright 13 29 Fine 25 35 Thunderstorms 14 28 Rain 16 30 Fine 28 34 Thunderstorms 27 44 Fine 17 22 Rain 9 19 Chance of Rain 10 20 Fine 11 24 Clear 25 34 Thunderstorms 14 27 Cloudy 28 42 Clear 11 24 Mist 12 22 Fog 19 26 Overcast 20 27 Cloudy 24 32 Thunderstorms 9 21 Partly Cloudy 14 19 Showers 20 21 Rain 20 23 Rain 11 20 Fine 24 33 Thunderstorms 26 31 Thunderstorms 11 18 Fine

Lin’s Cafe

Open Every Day from 7.30am Big Breakfasts - Low Price Roast Dinners only 200 baht Tel: 089 797 1502 Phetkasem Road, near Soi 80

Local Forecast AND TIDES

Rain Conditions Temp. °C Tides

(mm) High Low High Low Saturday Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday

0 Mostly cloudy 0 Cloudy 0 Mostly cloudy 0 Cloudy 1 A thick cloud cover 0 Considerable cloudiness 0 Cloudy

35 34 35 32 31 34 34

27 11:46/ 23:51 27 07:51 27 00:16 27 00:40/ 17:29 27 00:43/ 18:00 27 18:39 27 19:23

07:27/ 15:50 08:18 08:52/ 21:23 09:29 10:09 10:52

thailand weather (5-6-14) Place Temp. Hum. Conditions Aranyaprathet 30 °C 77% Scattered Clds Bangkok 33 °C 59% Mostly Cloudy Bhumibol Dam 36 °C 53% Mostly Cloudy Bua Chum 36 °C 28% Scattered Clds Chaiyaphum 37 °C 31% Partly Cloudy Chanthaburi 30 °C 74% Mostly Cloudy Chiang Mai 35 °C 44% Scattered Clds Chiang Rai 26 °C 83% T-storm Rain Chumphon 33 °C 47% Scattered Clds Hat Yai 33 °C 63% Mostly Cloudy Kam Paeng Phet 35 °C 53% Mostly Cloudy Kanchanaburi 36 °C 40% Scattered Clds Khanom 33 °C 63% Mostly Cloudy Khlong Yai 30 °C 74% Mostly Cloudy Khon Kaen 36 °C 44% Mostly Cloudy Ko Lanta 32 °C 62% Scattered Clds Ko Samui 33 °C 63% Mostly Cloudy Ko Sichang 33 °C 59% Mostly Cloudy Krabi 32 °C 62% Scattered Clds Laemchabang 32 °C 71% Mostly Cloudy Lampang 34 °C 56% Mostly Cloudy Lamphun 40 °C 39% Scattered Clds Loei 35 °C 49% Scattered Clds Lop Buri 33 °C 59% Mostly Cloudy Mae Hong Son 35 °C 41% Partly Cloudy Mae Sariang 28 °C 91% Light Rain Mae Sot 32 °C 51% Light Rain Mukdahan 28 °C 89% Mostly Cloudy Nakhon Phanom 28 °C 89% Mostly Cloudy Nakhon Ratch. 35 °C 39% Scattered Clds Nakhon Sawan 35 °C 50% Mostly Cloudy Nakhon Si Tham. 32 °C 66% Mostly Cloudy Nan 36 °C 39% Mostly Cloudy

Place Temp. Hum. Conditions Narathiwat 31 °C 75% Mostly Cloudy Nong Khai 36 °C 50% Scattered Clds Pattani 31 °C 75% Mostly Cloudy Pattaya 31 °C 66% Mostly Cloudy Phayao 26 °C 83% T-storm Rain Phetchabun 35 °C 53% Mostly Cloudy Phetchaburi 33 °C 63% Partly Cloudy Phitsanulok 35 °C 53% Mostly Cloudy Phrae 35 °C 53% Overcast Phuket 31 °C 66% Mostly Cloudy Prachin Buri 33 °C 59% Mostly Cloudy Prachuap K.khan 33 °C 63% Partly Cloudy Ranong 26 °C 86% Light Rain Rayong 29 °C 84% Mostly Cloudy Roi Et 35 °C 41% Scattered Clds Sakon Nakhon 33 °C 63% Mostly Cloudy Sattahip 31 °C 66% Mostly Cloudy Satun 33 °C 63% Mostly Cloudy Songkhla 32 °C 45% Partly Cloudy Suphan Buri 33 °C 59% Mostly Cloudy Surat Thani 33 °C 63% Thunderstorm Surin 35 °C 44% Scattered Clds Tak 36 °C 53% Mostly Cloudy Takua Pa 31 °C 66% Mostly Cloudy Tha Tum 36 °C 41% Scattered Clds Tha Wang Pha 36 °C 39% Mostly Cloudy Thong Pha Phum 33 °C 53% Partly Cloudy Trang 32 °C 65% Partly Cloudy Ubon Ratchathani 36 °C 39% Mostly Cloudy Udon Thani 33 °C 59% Thunderstorm Uttaradit 36 °C 53% Mostly Cloudy Wichian Buri 35 °C 46% Clear

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P.S. Legal Group (Cha Am)

Family, Commercial, Property and all other law handled by our specialist lawyers with over 40 years of legal experience Real Estate and Domestic/ International Investments

One Stop services: Company Set Up, Work permits, Visas, Ticket Booking Contact us: We speak English, Norwegian, Swedish, Danish and Thai Tel/Fax: 032 890156 Mob: 080 307 5517 or 089 981 0004 E-Mail: pslegalchaam@gmail.com Line: p.s.group Skype : pslegal1 Address: 245/7 Narathip Road, Cha Am, Petchaburi

We also have three offices in Chonburi

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v a A b li W u d ff t O o a o L n 1 l ly o 3/ ta 6/ (d v 14 r e a in r t k n s n o t in c lu d e d )

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m

Public House and restaurant

new! kepplers irish cider

on draught just 160 baht a pint Plus thatchers cider in bottles all day breakfast from 8.30am sunday roast available every day childrens menu Luxurious suites overlooking the beach, large outside sun terrace and free WIFI

www.buffalobillshuahin.com

info@buffalobillshuahin.com

Located on the corner of Chomsin/ Naresdamri rd by the fishing pier For bookings or more information call 085 291 8685, 080 727 4710 or fax 032 530087

Call 082 298 0500 or 081 649 8361 Property Email realestate@luckyhuahin.com or property@awolonline.net Marketplace gated community with great facilities

Price: from 2.7m baht

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Ref No. 032583

Underground utilities Private pool 8km from town 2, 3 or 4 bedrooms Living: from 91 sqm Land: from 300 sqm

new pool villas in south hua hin

Price: from 3.9 m baht for 2 bed to 6.8 m baht for 3 bed Ref No. 032553

two storey house in soi 94

Price: 3.75m baht Contact owner on 089 288 7858 or email paulgulbrandsen@gmail.com

Two storey house Gated Community 5 mins to town 3 bedrooms 3 bathrooms Land: 216 sqm Living: 170 sqm

peaceful 3 bed villa in s/w hua hin

Price: 9.3 m baht

7 design options Sun Roof Decks Easy access to town Full Air Con Packs Clubhouse 24 hour security

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Ref No. 032582

Euro fitted kitchen Private pool Convenient location 3 bedrooms Separate Annexe Land: 600 sqm

Advertise here from only 40 baht per week

Bobby’s British Breakfast Foods UK Sausages, Ham, Bacon, Pies, Teas etc.

Call 087 155 7737 or 089 985 7473

SERVED UP BY...

A section for all you budding etymologists where each week the origin of a word or phrase is investigated.

This week it is..... Gossip An unsubstantiated rumour or someone who spreads the same This week English Corner received an email which contained a number of words, phrases and sayings along with their purported origins, and among them was ‘Gossip’, and the accompanying explanation of the origin went like this...

“Early politicians required feedback from the public to determine what was considered important to the people. Since there were no telephones, TVs or radios, the politicians sent their assistants to local taverns, pubs, and bars, instructing them to ‘go sip some ale’ and listen to people’s conversations and political concerns.

When assistants were dispatched, they were told, ‘You go sip here’ and ‘You go sip there.’ The two words ‘go sip’ were eventually combined when referring to the local opinion and thus we have the term ‘gossip.’”

This story has been circulating on the internet for the past few months, along with the others in a list of “amazing facts.”

So, is it true? Not even close. The real question is whether the person who cooked up that little fable actually believed it. The suspicion is that many such silly stories are concocted and set afloat on the internet just to see how far they’ll spread, a sort of “flapdoodle in a bottle.” But it’s possible that the author thought it “might” be true. Smash “gossip” into little pieces and you do get “go sip,” and from there the story pretty much writes itself. But “reverse engineering” words in such a literal fashion rarely works.

The appeal of such stories is said to be that they “make sense,” but the actual origin of “gossip” makes just as much sense even if it takes a bit longer to explain. In Old English, a “godsibb” was a godmother or godfather, a person’s sponsor at baptism, from “god” plus “sib,” meaning “relative” (related to our modern “sibling”).

Eventually “godsib” acquired the broader meaning of “close friend” of either sex, although most often a woman. Since close friends share intimate secrets and news, “gossip” (as it was spelled by the 15th century) came to mean “one who indulges in idle chatter or rumours,” and the modern sense of labeling someone a “gossip” was born. The use of “gossip” to mean the rumours themselves is a more recent and logical progression, appearing in the 19th century.

Is there an English phrase or saying that you would like to know more about?

Email it to us on submissions@awolonline.net

Enjoy a Day Tour at the Wildlife Rescue Center

Only With our daily tours we explore the WFFT Rescue Center’s animals; we have bears, 45 m from inutes d elephants, gibbons and many others. You will learn about the animal’s Only rive Hu 3 life stories, and walk with our elephants to the nearby forest. You can shower Tran 0 minutes a Hin, spor f t can rom Cha the elephant after the walk, and help with the feed out to the bears and monkeys. be a rrang Am. Responsible tourism as we keep animal welfare as top priority. ed.

Visit us for an unforgettable experience!

Bookings: 0822458598 (English) / 032458135 (Thai/English), email: daytrips@wfft.org Check us out on www.wfft.org Facebook-Wildlife Friends Thailand / Tripadvisor

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AWOL Sudoku

your ad here from ฿66 a week Call 081 649 8361 Email sales@awolonline.net

Puzzle 2

Puzzle 1

Last issue’s solutions

Puzzle 2 (Hard)

Puzzle 1 (Easy)

Each week we have an easy and a hard Sudoku puzzle. Just fill in the empty squares so that each horizontal and vertical line, and each section, has all the numbers 1 to 9.

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EXPAT INSURANCE SOLUTIONS Health (up to 85), Car, Motorbike, House, Commercial.

Full medical cover for expats worldwide Travel insurance specialist (including as required for Schenghen visas) Soi 94, last unit on left before railway

085 962 2232 or 032 512075 franckracinesiamconsulting@gmail.com www.siam-consulting.asia www.asiaexpatinsurance.com

ALL NATIONS

hua hin

guesthouse and bar 12 rooms from 350 baht a night free wifi for guests 032 512747

allnationshuahin@ gmail.com Drop your AWOL Classifieds in here

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Advertise here from only 40 baht per week

weird NEWS germany Watching too much porn shrinks men’s brains and makes them stupid – apparently Heavy use of pornographic material can make men stupid, apparently.

New research suggests that men’s brains shrink as a result of watching too much adult material.

German researchers at the Max Planck Institute for Human Development found that men who watch a lot of porn tend to have smaller striatum.

The stratum is a region of the brain concerned with ‘rewards and motivation’ so the researchers believe watching porn damages their brain and makes them lazy.

There is a chicken and egg debate regarding these findings as to which came first, the smaller brains or the heavy usage of porn.

One conclusion is that less intelligent men love pornography.

Last year, a survey by the University of East London reported that 97% of boys and 80% of girls between the ages of 16 and 20 have watched porn. usa It’s official: We should all pronounce ‘Nike’ as ‘Nikey’ It’s one of the world’s biggest sporting brands, but most of us don’t know how to pronounce it. However, thanks to two friends trying to settle a bet we have closure at last: it’s ‘Nikey’, not ‘Nike’.

Ben Martin and Kendal Peters sent a letter to Nike chairman Philip Knight asking him to circle the correct pronunciation of the brand.

The pair, both creative advertising students, wrote to Sportsmail to say: ‘We had had this friendly bet between us for a while now and decided to write to Phillip Knight to once and for all settle one of life’s biggest unanswered questions. We included a stamped addressed envelope inside the letter so that he could simply circle the answer and send it back to enlighten us all. We didn’t actually think that he would do it. But all credit to him, a few weeks later the letter returned!’

japan The case of the urine splasher: Tokyo police hunt bizarre serial offender Tokyo police are hunting a motorcyclist who has splashed urine over at least six young women. The serial splasher’s modus operandi is to speed by young women in their teens of 20s on his motorbike and throwing liquid in their faces or over their heads before speeding away.

The first case of the splasher happened in April in the north of the capital when a man threw a cupful of urine over a woman in the street before racing off, according to the Asahi Shimbun. Police knew it was urine from the colour and other features, the paper reported.

Five similar incidents have occurred within a mile of the first splash and police believe it is highly unlikely they were not carried out by the same man. thailand The headphones designed for watching porn If you worry that your social life may be getting too active, then boy do we have a treat for you.

A company in Thailand, called LovePalz, has created a range of headphones that will ensure no one will want to use your towels or even shake your hand again.

You see, the Ladobi ’6-way earphone’ is specifically designed for watching porn, and like an indecent exposure charge or leprosy, possessing it means you’ll no longer have to endure that annoying little thing known as ‘social interaction.’

According to Focus Taiwan, the headphones make female voices ‘more pleasing and less sharp and male voices fuller and rounder,’ which will, as the company’s website claims, help you ‘live like at a home-theater.’

If that’s not the sort of sexually-charged broken English that makes you want to take a hot shower, then we’re assuming you’ve already left this page to buy the headphones.

While they may improve sound quality, they are certain to diminish your chances of getting a girlfriend, and all but guarantee your mum walking in on you.

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Increase your chances of selling by placing it on our website! All ads placed online will be in the next printed AWOL. Go to www.awolonline.net/classifieds or email us on classifieds@awolonline.net for more information

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THE AWOL NOTICEBOARD TELL EVERYONE ABOUT THE HAPPY HOUR EVERY DAY AT YOUR BAR

guesthouse for sale in central hua hin

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m

ura Open 7am S n Swed ‘til lat oi 8 t & B 8 ar Pizzaish, Euroe (Kitche - Keb pean n clos Sma a e & l SPEC l beers f Eat In o b - ซุปก Thai Fos 10pm) od IAL O rom 5 r Tak ๋วยเ Tel. 0 FFER! 0 baht e Awa ตี๋ยว y P , 91 7 23 2 izza & a Large f 7 080 47, 091 beer j rom 70 562 6735 509 472 ust 275 baht Swe/ 9 Th/ baht Eng Eng

082 298 0500

LE OR SA re, and F S S E t BUSIN siness cen cation in u b l top copy, reat o One s shop in g an, photo re cu ox , sc mailb a Hin (fax opy and se 771 rc Hu 08 North ates, colou el 089 53 T n lami x service) o mailb

thing? e m o s Lost ing Pet? Miss ng lp findi Get he ith the them wticeboard No AWOL size 150 This k er wee baht p

get noticed!

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Place an ad on the AW OL Noticeboard, available in four sizes: Small - 100 baht per w eek Medium - 150 baht pe r week Big - 300 baht per wee k Large (this note) - 50 0 baht per week All ads are a minimum of 4 weeks Contact sales@awolon line.net or call 081 649 8361

d? thailan n i g n i v dri nal Internatio valid cence driving li 800 bt.

5 years 1 Call ) 771 (Eng 089 530 8

VISA R UN TO myan mar 30 da y tourist

visa Leave Hu Return a a Hin 7am roun 1500 b d 4pm aht Call 085 115 52 91

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s&S

Soi 94 Indian restaurant Curries from only 75 baht

Eat in or Takeaway 081 455 5298 Capricorn Dec 22 - Jan 19 You thought there was nothing in life that the music of Al Green couldn’t fix, but then you found out about reactor meltdowns, crop failure, and cardiac embolisms.

Aquarius Jan 20 – Feb 18 You will soon get a nicer job selling higher-quality sweatpants to a somewhat better class of people.

Pisces Feb 19 – Mar 20 This will be a week of surprise after surprise, which will become tiresome after a few hours, terrifying after a few days, and unspeakable after that.

Aries Mar 21 – Apr 20 Applying tactics found in classic American folktales to your problems seemed like a good idea, but it turns out collection agencies have gotten wise to the old Tar Baby trick.

Taurus Apr 21 – May 21 You’ll try to set the world afire with the unbridled passion of your incandescent prose, but fail so badly you’re hailed as the next John Updike.

Gemini May 22 – June 21 In the end, you won’t wish you’d done anything differently; you’ll just wish you hadn’t had to do anything.

Cancer Jun 22 – Jul 22 You thought having a cat would be fun, but it’s been 10 days and it hasn’t even gotten itself anything to eat yet.

Leo Jul 23 – Aug 22 Love ends, sometimes bit by bit, sometimes suddenly, but it does end. That said, it’s unusual for it to jump off a bridge like that.

Virgo Aug 23 – Sep 22 Mercury rising in your sign indicates that things are getting hotter, as the mercury has expanded, causing it to rise up the thermometer.

Libra Sep 23 – Oct 23 Don’t let people tell you that you can’t be anything you want in life.

Surgical techniques and gene-grafting will soon allow anyone to assume giraffe form.

Scorpio Oct 24 – Nov 21 Somehow you always thought that when you got to a certain age the clothes would be a lot better.

Sagittarius Nov 22 – Dec 21 Life may be a series of small and inevitable defeats culminating in death, but look at it this way: You won’t have to put up with as much of it as most people.

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032 516587

Open 2 close 10 pm Best Margaritas In Town Authentic American BBQ & Tex Mex Known for Our Steaks and Chops Thai Food, Burgers & Sandwiches 250/133 Soi 90 Best Chili in Town Hua Hin Check our Website for Monthly and Our Black Boards for Daily Specials www.terrace90.com Sunday Is Steak/Chops Promotion Night e mail terrace90@gmail.com Join the AWOL forum

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AWOL codeword

an a to z of good food at let’s eat

Let’s Eat RESTAURANT Open 9am to 9pm English Breakfast and Thai Food Soi 3 Khao Takiab (next to 7-11) Call 082 248 0345 or 089 450 5755

Each letter in this puzzle is represented by a number 1-26.

Can you crack the code and solve the crossword? Every letter of the alphabet is used at least once. Three letters are already in place to get you started. Use the 1-26 small grid to keep track.

Last Week’s Solution

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A N

B O

C P

D Q

E R

F S

G H T U

I J K V W X

L Y

M Z

CHA AM PUB & RESTAURANT

Now Open 7 Days From 7am - Late CHA AM’S ONLY DANCE FLOOR All Day Breakfasts from 79 Baht LARGE SCREEN TV Live Music Now Thursday, Friday Sat & Sundays Everyday Roast Lamb, Beef, Pork & Turkey 290 baht

252/6 Jai Ai Road, Cha Am

Ph: (Eng) 0822 510 871

www.chaampub.com

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Send your jokes to submissions@ awolonline.net and get your name in print!

Brought to you by The Railway Tavern

THE SCENT OF AN OLD WOMAN A haggard old lady rides in a fancy hotel’s elevator. On the second floor, a beautiful woman steps on and arrogantly says to the old lady, “Georgio, $100 an ounce.”

On the next floor, an equally beautiful women steps on and says, “Chanel, $150 an ounce.”

The old lady’s floor approaches and as the doors open, she bends over, farts and says, “Broccoli, 49 cents a pound.”

WISE OLD MAN A retired man moves near a junior high school. He spends the first few weeks of retirement in peace and quiet. However, when a new school year begins, three young boys beat on every trash can they encounter every day on their way home from school.

Finally, the man decides to take action and walks out to meet the boys. He says, “You kids are a lot of fun. I’ll give you each a dollar if you’ll promise to come around every day and do your thing.” The kids continue to do a bang-up job on the trashcans.

After a few days, the man tells the kids, “This recession’s really putting a big dent in my income. From now on, I’ll only be able to pay you 50 cents to beat on the cans.” The noisemakers are displeased, but they accept his offer.

A few days later, the retiree approaches them again.

“Look,” he says, “I haven’t received my Social Security check yet, so I’m not going to be able to pay more than 25 cents. Will that be OK?” “A freakin’ quarter?” the drum leader exclaims. “If you think we’re going to waste our time beating these cans around for a quarter, you’re nuts. We quit.”

Railway Tavern

PUB & CAFE HUA HIN SOI 88 085 429 0378

Motorbikes for Rent

Daily, weekly or long term WHAT DO I LOOK LIKE? A newlywed couple just moved into their new house.

One day, the wife asked her husband, “Honey, one of the bathroom pipes is leaking. Could you fix it?”

The husband looked at his wife and said, “What do I look like -- Mr. Plumber?”

A few days went by, and his wife asked for a favor.

“Honey, the car won’t start. I think it needs a new battery.

Could you change it for me?”

“What do I look like -- Richard Hammond?”

A couple weeks later, the wife found a leak in the roof.

“Honey, there’s a leak on the roof. Can you please fix it?”

“What do I look like -- Bob The Builder?” He sat down with a beer and watched a game on TV. One rainy weekend, the husband realized the leak on the roof was gone. He went to the bathroom and found that the pipe behind the sink wasn’t leaking anymore either.

When his wife returned home, the husband asked, “Honey, how come there aren’t any more leaks and the car’s running?”

She replied nonchalantly, “Oh, the other day I ran into one of our new neighbors, Jon. What a nice man. He came over and fixed everything.

“Wow, did he charge us anything?”

“No, he said he’d do it for free if I either baked him a cake or had sex with him.”

“Cool. What kind of cake did you make?”

“Cake? What the hell do I look like -- Delia Smith?”

13

TK Roadhouse - Khao Takiab Sunday 15th June – ENGLAND v ITALY Live

Free Half Time Bacon Butty, Big Screen Projector, Match Re-Run at 20:00pm

Monday 16th June, 19:30pm - Monthly 10-Man Brunswick 9 Ball Competition Tuesday 1st July, 19:30pm - Monthly Quiz Night with Quizmaster Steve Open 4pm till late - Every Tuesday is Fajitas Night, 200 Baht - Every Friday is Curry Night, 200 Baht Happy Hour Prices to 7pm

Find us almost opposite Smor Resort, if you hit the one way section you have gone too far Call Pla: 082 003 8702 www.tkroadhouse.com Join the AWOL forum

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motorbikes for sale

Motorbikes & Cars For Rent Over 60 Bikes For Sale Car rental from 5,000 baht/week

Business BAR FOR SALE. Attractive bar on Soi 80, with pool table. 2 storey, three rooms available upstairs: office with toilet, extra room (with double bed and shower) and extra store. Close to the Soi 80/Petchasem Road junction. Rent 15 000 baht/month. Price negotiable. Call Mr Eriksson: 084 878 3495 mailboxes now available Mailbox Shop at the Makro Hua Hin store by Soi 4. Fax, copy, laminating & mail forwarding also available. 082 298 0500 or luckyhuahin@hushmail.com for information busy bar for sale in Soi Selekam. 1.8m baht negotiable, 25k per month rent paid to June 2014. 2 rooms upstairs, everything included. Key money every 3 years 300k. Call Phillipe 088 401 2788 Restaurant For Sale, near the pier, restaurant terrace on the sea. Rent paid until end of September 2014. 2 million baht (negotiable). 08 45 72 71 90 bar for sale in Soi 80. Main bar, pool room, kitchen and toilet downstairs, three rooms (2 aircon), bathroom and large balcony upstairs. Price of 1 million baht includes key money, stock, furniture, fixtures and fittings, plus pool table and appliances (washing machines, fridges, etc). Rent only 12,000 baht/month fixed for 3 years. Call 090 138 9361. wanted guesthouse/hotel within 400m of beach near central Hua Hin. Call 081 817 3000

SERVICES Tired of paying 20000 to renew UK retirement visa? Call 081 466 1875

Wanted Wanted - secondhand i.e.cheap, strong camera tripod and head with multi angle centre column that swivels to 90 degrees. Please e-mail details to Peter - sib-1@hotmail.com

Tel. 080 630 5740 (Eng/Swe) 087 138 0221 (Thai) This business is also for sale - Contact us now!

Employment Staff wanted feMale waitress staff wanted full training given; MUST HAVE A BRAIN!! Email info@ buffalobillshuahin.com or call 080 727 4710 Staff wanted: Full time restaurant service staff, good behavior, basic English is required. Experince in service is an advantage. Good salary, bonus and gratifications.

Management trainee for restaurant service. Experience in restaurant service, good spoken and written English, experience In restaurant management is required. Full training will be provided.Full or half time office staff.

Basic experience with Windows office, organization is an advantage. Good English is required. Cleaner, one day a week 8 hours. Basic English is an advantage. Salary THB 600 – 800 / day.Please contact: K. Nuch 089 742 58 25 or 032 530 067 staff wanted. Friendly Locals Bar Soi 88 please Call 032511825 or 0854290378 guesthouse requires staff - maid, daytime and nighttime staff and security guard. Please call 081 817 3000 or 087 155 6115

General Hitachi Water Pump GX Series WT-P 100GX2 Only 4 weeks old New price 5200B only 1 month old Sell for 2500B. Hua Hin Second Hand Shop Call 083 692 8050 Hua Hin Second Hand shop 8 x Rainmaker showers brand new still in box, new price 5800b, sell 3000b. 1 x Toshiba 140L Fridge new in box, new price 5800b sell for 3500b. 8 x Vanity sink big size new price 7000b + Kudos 2 way tap 999b sell for 3500b each. 1 x rock sauna new never used needs assembly new price 90,000b sell for 40,000b. All items left over from building project. Many

Unmade Road

300m Childcare Centre

Soi 102

buy, sell, rent or lease, this is the place to do it with ease

Golden Teak House Buy or Rent Bikes Here!

X

Phetkasem Rd.

other items available. Call 083 692 8050 NEW MANGO KING Teak Beds (2) - still in factory wrapping. Cost 45k will sell both for 30k (or nearest offer) or 18k individually. Soi 88 - Call Kan or Patrick on 087 712 4630 2 refrigerated deli cases in new condition. 65,000 for both. call for more info. 098-484-9833 Black and Decker electric mower (grass cutter) 30 cm. cut plus Black and Decker strimmer. Bargain 1,750 bt. for both. Please call Keith 089-0702423 Central Hua Hin. Restaurant equipment, small amount. Solid hardwood timber setting 6,000B, 2 wooden tables 500B each, 5 hardwood chairs excellent condition 1,200B each, 4 door cabinet, 1,500B, display case 2,000B, 2 fold up tables 600B, 6 new plastic stools 80B each, single burner LPG cooker with bottle and fittings 2,000B, small new Hitachi fridge 5,000B. and more. Will discount if buying several items. Call 083 692 8050 Small Toshiba refrigerater in new condition 18”wide 18”deep x 30”high with ice making compartment. bht 3000. Call Terry on 088 542 2918

General - sports Lakeview Membership, for sale - (access to 4 x 18 hole courses) 99,000 baht to include the 13,000 transfer fee. The membership expires on 01/2023. My contact tel number is 0867294749.

Travelling golf bag (flight bag) used once. As new 1500tb ono. Tel 0862-118250.

8ft X 4ft pool table, slate bed c/w balls, cues & snooker set,all weather cover & woodtop to convert to use as table, 25.000 baht ring 0865696176 English

Placing a classified with AWOL

16

All adverts are free except adverts for Property For Rent or Sale, Business or Services and Auto.

Free ads will be included for at least four weeks automatically. Please use our online Classifieds to enhance your chances of a successful ad.

Option 1: register or log in at www.awolonline.net/classifieds and place your advert there; Option 2: email to classifieds@awolonline.net; Option 3: write the details clearly in BLOCK capitals on paper and deliver to staff at All Nations Hua Hin, Dechanuchit Road.

The deadline for guaranteed inclusion in that week’s issue is 6pm on Tuesday. Please notify us if your advert is no longer needed.

Business and Services

Rates: Up to 50 words: 500 baht for 4 issues, 1000 baht for 13 issues. Additional words charged at 20 baht per word.

Example: 60 words charged at 500 plus (10 x 20)=700 baht for 4 issues, or 1000 plus (10 x 20)=1200 for 13 issues.

Please note that paid ads placed online can have up to 750 words and 3 images depending on which plan is selected.

Auto

Rates: Items priced up to 10,000 baht, 13 issues for 500 baht. Items priced over 10,000 baht, 13 issues for 1000 baht. Maximum 50 words for all ads; unpriced items pay the higher rate.

property for sale or rent - Due to reader requests we have reintroduced standalone classified property ads*

OPTION 1: fixed fee and/or commission deal with ads in the paper, on our website and at the Lucky Real Estate office.

Contact property@awolonline.net or realestate@luckyhuahin.com for details. *OPTION 2: printed classified only; Rates: Same as for Business and Services above. (Please note that you must use Option 1 to feature on our website).

Contact classifieds@awolonline.net for further information or to place an advert.

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Advertise here from only 40 baht per week

Do you have enough water for your lawn?

Do you have time to cut your grass?

Golf Memberships For Sale!

Palm Hills Family Membership Imperial Lake View

Please call or visit Khun Boom Office address: 136/341 Soi 102, Hua Hin. Contact 081 865 3047 managerobserver@hotmail.co.th 2 digital range finder golf scopes bht 500 each Skycaddie SG2.5 GPS golf range finder with course mapping range finding, scorecard, computer download app. and many other options and extras bht 2500. Call Terry on 088 542 2918 SPRINGFIELD GOLF LIFETIME membership for sale 195,000 baht + transfer fee 107,000 baht. Email aromaresponse@hotmail.com or Tel. 089 539 7283

auto: 3 wheels & LESS Yamaha fino blue and white 20 months old 7,800 km 25,000 baht. Call 081 817 3000 honda click helmet-in PGM fuel injected candy apple red, stop start system, 4 months old, like new only 540 km REDUCED! 42,000 baht. Neil 081 817 3000

auto: 4 wheels pluS Mitsubishi pajero sport 2.5 diesel 4 year old full service history at main dealer black with beige interior sat nav 20 inch lenso wheels with 4 new tyres 690,000 baht. Phone 089 915 6369 or 086 170 8720

commercial property centrally located guesthouse for sale.

Please contact 089 530 8771 for details. *modern shop and apartment for sale. 3.5 m baht Fully owned, no lease. Contact owner on 085 542 2918 or 2919. More details on www.awolonline.net/property or luckyhuahin.com popular restaurant business for sale in Hua Hin; 2.4m baht. More details on luckyhuahin.com central hua hin bar for sale. Great opportunity in the heart of the nightlife area. Rent locked in at the same rate for five years. Well established for over 8 years this has often been one of the busiest bars in town. Offers in the region of 3 million baht wanted - contact 081 649 8361 if you are a serious buyer.

sunrise coast commercial properties - we have a variety of land, resorts and other commercial opportunities available in the Bang Saphan area. Contact 089 530 8771 for details.

property for Rent soi sarawat - 80 2 bed townhouse fully furnished 2 bathrooms 2 bedrooms air con T.V. 6 mths/One year preferred Tel 087 1698 440 or 085 293 3843 lovely House for rent on Palm Hills golf course; 20,000 baht per month (min. 6 months). More details on www.luckyhuahin.com or call 089 530 8771

Property for sale HOUSE FOR IN-LAWS? Exceptional opportunity to build house in large garden of 3 bedroom 2 bathroom bungalow with European kitchen, without spoiling mountain view. Location 4 km South of Hua Hin centre.

Total plot area 864 m2, can split. Existing house and land 5.4m baht. Must see! Phone 0916086428 large bungalow near town centre; 4.5m baht. Go to www.awolonline.net/property or luckyhuahin.com or call 089 530 8771 for details. villa on large plot near Cha Am; 3.5m baht. Go to www.awolonline.net/property or luckyhuahin.com or call 089 530 8771 for details.

POOL VILLAS on small development at great prices in Hua Hin; from 3.49m baht. Go to luckyhuahin.com or call 089 530 8771 for details. beautiful new houses on quiet project;from 3m baht. Go to luckyhuahin.com or call 089 530 8771 for details. attractive house on small gated village; 3.6m baht.

Go to luckyhuahin.com or call 089 530 8771 for details.

Delightful small house in Hua Hin; just 1.8m baht.

Join the AWOL forum

Go to luckyhuahin.com or call 089 530 8771 for details.

Four Bed Villa On Stilts 4.9m baht. Go to www. awolonline.net/property or luckyhuahin.com or call 089 530 8771 for details. two bed apartments in Hua Hin with great facilities; 3.2m baht. Go to www.awolonline.net/property or luckyhuahin.com or call 089 530 8771 for details.

Fully furnished villa 3 bed off Canal Road; 5.7m baht. Go to www.awolonline.net/property or luckyhuahin. com or call 089 530 8771 for details. pool villa overlooking lake in Hua Hin, 2 bed; 6.9m baht. Go to www.awolonline.net/property or luckyhuahin. com or call 089 530 8771 for details. european style villa, 3 bed, 2 bath between Hua Hin and Cha Am; 5.2m baht. Go to www.awolonline. net/property or luckyhuahin.com or call 089 530 8771 for details. large house/land near Palm Hills, 4 bed; 4.5m baht.Go to www.awolonline.net/property or luckyhuahin. com or call 089 530 8771 for details. stunning L shaped Borfai bungalow; 9.9m baht. Go to www.awolonline.net/property or luckyhuahin.com or call 089 530 8771 for details.

Beautiful two storey house in Hua Hin; 12.5 m baht.

Go to www.awolonline.net/property or luckyhuahin.com or call 089 530 8771 for details.

Property wanted Commercial Property with Good Location Wanted in Hua Hin for food shop that’s all about location, location, location. 083 815 13 13 long term rental properties wanted, particularly pool villas in good areas. Please contact Lucky Real Estate on 089 530 8771 or realestate@luckyhuahin.com

17

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your ad here from ฿66 a week

MONEY & INFORMATION overseas calls information

18

Call 081 649 8361 Email sales@awolonline.net

Useful Numbers

REVERSE CHARGE CALLS The list below is the free number you need to call to connect to an operator of that country to request the reverse charge call.

ARGENTINA 001-999-54-1000/ 2000 AUSTRALIA 001-999-61-1000/2000 AUSTRIA 001-800-28787421 BAHRAIN 001-999-973-1000 BRUNEI 001-999-673-1000 CANADA 001-999-15-1000/2000 DENMARK 001-999-45-1000 FRANCE 001-999-33-1000 GERMANY 001-999-49-1000 HAWAII 001-800-865-8424 HONG KONG 001-999-852-1086 INDONESIA 001-999-62-1000/2000 ISRAEL 001-999-972-1000/ 2000 ITALY 001-999-39-1000 JAPAN 001-999-811-0051 KOREA 001-999-82-1000/2000/2001 MACAU 001-999-853-1000 MALAYSIA 001-999-60-1000/4000/4001 MALTA 001-999-356-1000 MEXICO 001-999-52-1000 NEPAL 001-800-977-1-9999 NETHERLANDS 001-999-31-1035 NEW ZEALAND 001-999-64-1066 PHILIPPINES 001-999-63-1000/3000/6000 PORTUGAL 001-999-351-1000 RUSSIA 001-999-7-1000 SINGAPORE 001-999-65-0000/2008 SOUTH AFRICA 001-999-27-1000 SPAIN 001-999-34-1066 TAIWAN 001-999-886-1000 U.A.E. 001-999-971-1000 U.K. 001-999-44-1066 U.S.A. 001-999-1-1111/2001/2002 AWOL would like to thank the staff at CAT in Hua Hin for providing the above numbers.

FREE CALLS If your mobile phone or device and that of the person you are calling supports it, you can use a number of apps to make free calls anywhere, with the best known being Skype and Viber.

Police 191 Crime 195 Fire 199 Traffic Control Centre 197 Highway Police 1193 Tourist Police 1699 Tourist Service Centre 1155 Missing Persons 02 282 1815 Hua Hin Police Station 032 511 027 Cha-Am Police Station 032 471 321 Bangkok Hospital Hua Hin 1719 Hua Hin Hospital 032 511 743 San Paulo Hospital 032 532 576 to 585 Hua Hin Red Cross 032 512 567 Hua Hin Municipality 032 532433 Hua Hin Tessabahn 032 511 047 Hua Hin Immigration Of. 032 522 656 Hua Hin Bus Terminal (non air-con) 032 511 230 (air-con) 032 511654, 512543 Hua Hin Railway Station 032 511 073 Tourist Information 032 513 885 Hua Hin Electricity 032 512 215 Electricity Call Centre 1129 Hua Hin Water 032 511 677 TOT 032 519 000/001 TT&T 032 532 018 CAT 032 511 350 Alcholics Anonymous 0870 620 098 Narcotics Anonymous 084 314 1928

Exchange Rates (4-6-14) TT Buying rate Currency Baht US Dollar 32.53 Pound Sterling 54.28 Euro 44.17 Japanese Yen 31.57 Malaysian Ringgit 9.49 Singapore Dollar 25.74 Brunei Dollar 24.98 Chinese Yuan 5.19 Indonesian Rupiah 2.56 Indian Rupee 0.50 Korean Won 0.03 Australian Dollar 29.98 New Zealand Dollar 27.29 Swiss Franc 36.11 Danish Krone 5.91 Norwegian Krone 5.39 Swedish Krona 4.85 Canadian Dollar 29.64 UAE Dirham 7.27 Bahrain Dinar 62.85 Omani Rial 61.91 Qatar Riyal 7.15 AWOL makes no warranties, express or implied, regarding these rates and shall not be liable for any losses or damages incurred in connection with them.

Local Consular Representatives CANADIAN Rick Pomerleau 087 153 3817 or e-mail on rickpomerleau@hotmail.com FINNISH Mr. Sipi Siljamaeki 087-911 8119 or e-mail: suthiporn.siljamaki@gmail.com AMERICAN Mr. Christopher Byrd 081-173 4469 or e-mail: chrs@tourdeasia.org

cryptic Crossword Solution

Local radio cheap calls The mobile phone operators offer special numbers to prefix an international number to get cheap rate international calls. More information call True 1331 AIS 1175 DTAC 1678

hua hin skyweb 98.25 FM and online at www. huahinskywebradio.com featuring English DJ.Phil Keekuee from 11am - 1pm and 4 - 6pm Monday to Friday and 11am - 2pm and 3 - 6pm Saturdays

Sell it fast with AWOL Classifieds

Advertise here from only 40 baht per week

your ad here from ฿66 a week Call 081 649 8361 Email sales@awolonline.net Down 1. Swell (4) 2. Maiden (6) 3. Boat spines (5) 4. Breed of dog (6) 5. Triumphs (4) 8. Curvature of the legs (3,4) 9. Purge (5) 11. Third day of the week (7)

14. Very hard mineral (5) 16. Muslim headdress (6) 18. Unhealthy (6) 19. Kent coastal town (5) 21. German Mister (4) 23. Idle away time (4)

Last issue’s solution

Across 6. Corridor (7) 7. Poison produced by an organism (5) 8. Defeats (5) 10. Noisiest (7) 12. Resembling wool (6) 13. Swindle (6) 15. Consisting of earth (6) 17. Rise (6) 20. Soon (7) 22. Shyly (5) 24. Experiment (5) 25. Midpoint (7)

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS Professional Maintenance for your Swimming Pool • • • • • • • • •

Twice weekly service (more for extra fee) Test water for correct chemical levels Add chemicals as required Clean and scrub tiles Vacuum pool/ spa Adjust water level Backwash filters Empty pump and skimmer baskets Inspect and maintain equipment Example price: 6 x 3 metre pool just 1500 baht a month Contact us NOW for a free inspection and quote for your pool or spa

Call 081 572 3996 or 086 802 5951 Email info@cnpoolservice.com Website www.cnpoolservice.com

Join the AWOL forum

If you want to drink, that’s your business, if you want to stop, we can help.

Call to speak to an AA member: Davies - 0870 620 098 Henrick - 0879 083 285 Loren - 081 007 6856

www.aathailand.org Meetings every day in Hua Hin

19

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balloon chasers

Get an insight to the happenings in and around the area

Parties, special deals, regular events, celebrations and more; to get it in AWOL email info@awolonline. net, contact All Nation’s Bar and Guesthouse or join the AWOL forum and post details of events there. recently added and coming soon

Urban Fuzion, Soi 61; Punchline Comedy Club Tuesday 24th June - live comedy featuring Eddy Brimson, Jeremy O’Donnell & Stefano Paolin; show starts 8.30pm, Happy Hour from 6.30pm. Tickets 1000 baht before 17th June, 1200 baht after, available from the venue and Hot Property Hua Hin. Regular Events

20

Baan Silapin artist village, Pala U Road; Jazz Jam Session every Sunday from 7pm.

Bobby’s Bar, Soi 102.; Free Bar B Que every Friday from 5pm. when spend 180 bt. Sunday Roast - spend 200 baht on drinks and get it free!. Special prices on Leo Draft all day everyday (from open till close). British Breakfast all day, Only 99 bt.

Captain Dougs, Khao Takiab; Every Friday from 7pm BBQ plus a beer just 300 baht. (see ad p2) Blue Lagoon Guesthouse & Bar, Soi Plaza; Quiz Nights Every Monday from 7pm. dream restaurant and bar, Soi 88; Pizza and a beer for just 275 baht. just like mom’s, Soi Wat Khao Noi (near Dinosaur Market); Daily specials just 110 baht - every day a different dish with mash,vegetable and dinner roll. Now serving breakfasts from 8.30am. sinatras, Soi 102; Tuesdays from 7pm Roast just 99 baht (bookings only); Sundays from 2pm Roast plus dessert 150 baht (bookings only); Saturdays all day Bangers and mash with caramelised onions, gravy 80 baht; Wednesdays all day Liver and bacon 80 baht. smor spa village, Khao Takiab; Every other Saturday from 7pm Indian Buffet Dinner plus live music - all you can eat for 350 baht; reservations 032 536 800 Sunset Boulevard, Khao Takiab; Periodic Thursday all video fun pub quiz. Food available. Bookings recommended. Call Mike 084 376 9438.

TK Roadhouse, Khao Takiab; Monthly Pub Quiz; Pie & A Beer 150 THB special during the football.

Uncle Bryn’s (2km past Palm Hills north along klong road. Turn left and 200m on left.); Large Chang 53 baht, large Leo 55 baht, restaurant and general store. Open daily 7am-10pm. 085 405 6976 (T) 080 197 2072(E) urban fuzion, Soi 61; Happy hour every day 3 to 8pm; Beer Buckets - 5 local beers 350 baht; Mondays - free bar snacks; Tuesdays - Pint nite with Leo 90 baht, Fosters

English & Thai lessons, Visas & Translations

032 470 681 or 081 846 9193

120 baht and Magners Stout 140 baht all day; Whisky Wednesdays with up to 25% off all whiskies.

British style Sunday Roasts:

Bobby’s Bar, Soi 102 ChaAam Pub & Restaurant EVERYDAY Roast Lamb, Beef, Pork & Turkey Dinners Coco Beach Club, Naresdamri Road (reservations, call 032 908080 after 4.30pm) Hua Hin Miss You, Soi 80 Jungle Juice, Soi Selekam Lin’s Cafe, Phetkasem Road between Sois 80/78 Palm Bistro, Soi 88 (032 828144) Sinatras, Soi 102 Seajays Resort, Tamarind Gardens off Pala-U Road. 083 311 1787 Ye Olde Buffalo Tavern, Chomsin Rd Zab Wer, Soi 112; Every day roasts available - Beef, Chicken, Pork or Lamb.

Sell it fast with AWOL Classifieds

Advertise here from only 40 baht per week

to hull

and back

Mags Meanderings: From Som Tam To Mushy Peas

timid june A British couple who used to live in Hua Hin are currently travelling by train from Thailand to London.

Henry and Linda left Nakhon Pathom, where they now live, on May 10th, on a 5 week journey which has already taken them through Cambodia, Vietnam, China and Kazakhstan. They still have Lithuania and Russia to go before crossing Europe, reaching London on June 12th.

For those of you who may not be aware of it, this is a shameless plug for their travel blog. Updated almost daily, the blog is very well written, interesting and funny, with some good photos and a useful map. Well worth a look at henryandlinda.weebly.com (Better late than never eh?)

Apart from that there is very little to report this week.

After all the political goings on, sporting events and bank holidays which May brought us, June is already feeling like a bit of a let down. So it is maybe an opportune time to remind expats who have a Thai partner of the wisdom of Getting Your Affairs In Order!

Most of us are guilty of putting off things like making a will etc, and when you live in Thailand it is especially easy to adopt a ‘mai pen rai’ attitude to planning for your familys’ future. Sadly some recent expat deaths have shown that even with advance planning and making provision for your demise, things can still go very wrong. Especially when pensions, properties, and

Dream Guesthouse Cheap room for rent from just 350 baht

0915094729 Th/Eng 0805626735 Swe/Eng

Soi 94 (1st left after 7-11)

children from previous marriages are involved.

There is of course plenty of legal and financial advice available in Hua Hin, but you can still help to avoid leaving pitfalls simply by keeping your paperwork in order, which for Brits should include the following: Details of pension providers together with annual pension statements.

P60’s if you have them - and your National Insurance Number. (The NI number is very important.)

Recent UK Income Tax notifications.

Any UK bank details.

All previous marriage and divorce documents.

Information on any close relatives other than those in Thailand, together with your last address in the UK. The list is by no means exhaustive, and for expats who are not married to their Thai partner, and/or own property in Thailand to which British relatives may have a claim, there could also be the issue of Power of Attorney to consider.

Finally, to cheer things up a bit, a very peculiar word of the week. Pusillanimous. Where do they get them from?

I’m sure there weren’t so many strange words when I was at school..... anyway the meaning is a bit of a let down. Pusillanimous simply refers to a person who is lacking in courage, timid and cowardly.

Under offer from

Bars / Pubs Bobby’s Bar Captain Doug’s Pub Cha Am Pub & Restaurant King Bar Lucky Shot Montri Railway Tavern

Telephone 089 985 7473 092 791 7879 082 251 0871 086 170 8720 086 178 1550

accommodation All Nations Guesthouse Dream Guesthouse Pool 51 Resort Victor Residence/G’house

Telephone 032 512747 080 562 6735 032 511564 032 511564

085 429 0378

Services and other Telephone CN Pool Service 081 572 3996 Helen Couldrey - Finance 086 088 2127 Hua Hin Car Boot Sale 089 128 9556 Insight English 032 470 681 Magic Carpet 081 865 3047 Motorbikes For Sale 080 630 5740 Nang’s Artyard 087 047 7125 P.S. Legal Group (Cha Am) 032 890156 Siam Consulting Insurance 032 512075 Visa Run Kanchanaburi 085 115 5291

Restaurants / Food All In Hua Hin British Breakfast Foods Buffalo Tavern Dream Restaurant & Bar Hua Hin Ham & Bacon Let’s Eat Lin’s Café Restaurant Cajutan S & S Indian Restaurant Terrace 90

Telephone 032 530067 087 155 7737 032 530087 091 723 2747 032 513144 082 248 0345 089 797 1502 032 532779 081 455 5298 032 516 587

sports and leisure The Dartman Go Kart Hua Hin

Property Hot Property Lucky Real Estate Sopha Land and Houses

Telephone 032 533 533 082 298 0500 083 324 0907

Telephone 087 155 7737 032 547 199

Join the AWOL forum

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cryptic crossword

Power Of Love Church

HELP NEEDED FOR THE SLUMS IN HUA HIN

We are working to help the Slums of Hua Hin and would love to have you deliver your goods with us, so you know your donation is going directly to those who need it. We need secondhand items, clothes and household goods.

Why not join us and come to the slums with us?

We leave from our offices at 17:20 Every Tuesday evening. Visit us any day, on Soi 88, over the railway, 200m up on the left on the 2nd floor above IQ hair dressers

Facebook@Power of Love Church Tel K. Andrew 080 999 3603 K. Panaya 092 592 3604 (Thai)

(Services every Sunday 10 am at Hilton Resort and Spa)

Across 8 Beginning to invest some money in a little pig (8) 9 Feels sorry for headless birds (6) 10 Flora is dug out to identify tree (7,3) 11 Eager to lament (4) 12 A pastry’s round layers (6) 14 Stretcher provided by former nurse? (8) 15 Actors were first to have moved on board (7) 17 Circus performer in a European big top (7) 20 Overcome, disappear without question (8) 22 Children in middle of labyrinth, held by Cretan king (6) 24 A goddess from another age (4) 25 I am on a low-pitched gable causing an obstruction (10) 27 Cheeses, we hear, in cooler (6) 28 New tax on ice is extortion (8)

Disclaimer

22

All articles are published in good faith and based on information available to us at publication. Some articles are satire or ‘spoof’ stories intended as humour.

No responsibility is accepted other than that stipulated by law.

Although the information in this publication has been obtained from sources believed to be reliable, AWOL cannot guarantee accuracy in all cases. Any opinions expressed are those of the contributor and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher.

All materials copyright. All rights reserved and no part of this publication may be reproduced in part or in full without the previous written consent of the publisher. Neither can any part be stored in a retrieval situation, nor transmitted by electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or any other means.

AWOL is printed by Petchpoom Printing, and we can be contacted on info@awolonline.net or 081 614 8728. Please send any other communications to Mrs Chukamol James, Managing Director, AWOL Co. Ltd., 136/229 Emerald Hill, Soi 6, Mooban Borfai, Hua Hin, Prachuap Kiri Khan, 7110, THAILAND.

Contacting AWOL

Advertising: sales@awolonline.net Classifieds: classifieds@awolonline.net Submissions: submissions@awolonline.net Enquiries: info@awolonline.net Property: property@awolonline.net Hua Hin Live: huahinlive@awolonline.net Website: www.awolonline.net

Down 1 Boat providing shelter (6) 2 Call for a band (4) 3 Brought round to conscious state (8) 4 Suppressed and overturned, it’s taken flight (7) 5 Use art training to be an artist? (6) 6 Brown bears fencing in Japan, having collapsed (6,4) 7 Winding lanes around the isle of exile for an emperor (2,6) 13 Out of date, quaint, old-fashioned (10) 16 No pros, when transported, use a tram (8) 18 Joker’s trick taking in the press, TV, etc. (8) 19 Air transport for the lumberjack? (7) 21 I call myself up in the same place (6) 23 Our novel about New York - and North American writer (6) 26 May we hear an arachnid? (4)

The solution is on page 18

Telephone:

Facebook: Twitter: Office:

081 649 8361 (Eng) or 081 614 8728 (Thai) AWOLexpat awolhuahin 136/229 Emerald Hill, Soi 6, Borfai, Hua Hin, 77110, Prachuap Kiri Khan

Sell it fast with AWOL Classifieds

Advertise here from only 40 baht per week

HUA HIN GOLF Butterfly Rock Golf society

RESULTS 2nd June 2014 Lake View CD Monthly Medal 18 entered 1st Alan Rawson 82 - 13 = 69 2nd Ben Krahe 77 - 04 = 73 3rd Paul Egan 84 - 10 = 74 4th John Anstee 100 - 22 = 78 30th May 2014 Lake View CD Single Stableford 9 entered 1st Richard Hooi 35 pts (12) 2nd Geoff G Batt-Rawden 34 pts (07) 3rd Ben Krahe 34 pts (04) 4th Michael Snakebite 29 pts (07) Upcoming Fixtures 9th June 2014 Lakeview BC Stableford 11th June 2014 Majestic Creek Stableford 13th June 2014 Lakeview AB Yellow Tees cha am golf club

Contact: secretary@chaamgolfclub.com FIXTURES None notified

Hua Hin Golf Society

lake view members club

Results 3rd June 2014 Springfield B + C 2 ball scramble 10 teams 1st Chuck Carriere/ Ryan Wilkie 68 - 04.2 = 63.8 2nd Roger T (Guest)/ Daniel Bechun 70 - 4.2 = 65.8 3rd Neung Chueanil/ Chuan Walker 74 - 03.5 = 70.5 4th Ben Amelsvoort/ Peter Good 81 - 10.0 = 71.0

30th May 2014 BC Stableford 1st Chris Roper (8) 37 pts 2nd Peter Trim (12) 37 pts 3rd Fred Kroll (21) 35 pts 4th Doug East (12) 35 pts

30th May 2014 Banyan Stableford 28 entered 1st Adrian Legget 41 pts (10) 2nd Rob Prudon 40 pts (21) 3rd Neil Henderson 39 pts (08) 4th Rob Weisbard 38 pts (30)

4th June 2014 CD Stableford 1st Chris Roper (7) 37 pts 2nd Reto Vorburger (5) 34 pts 3rd Peter Tucker (11) 34 pts 4th Craig Miller (4) 32 pts

forthcoming fixtures 10th June 2014 Seapines Stableford 13th June 2014 Majestic Stableford

2nd June 2014 CD Medal 1st Craig Miller 77 (5) net 72 2nd Reto Vorburger 78 (5) net 73 3rd Chris Roper 86 (7) net 79 4th Jan Fridberg 95 (15) net 80

FIXTURES Lake View every Monday, Wednesday, Friday robin’s roll up

Held every Friday at Palm Hills. Thanks to Robin Heath for organising and results.

Results: 30th May 2014 Front 9 - R. Thorley 18 pts (Countback T. McGiff) Back 9 - R. Thorley 19 pts Overall - R.Thorley 37 pts.

6 Week Eclectic Competition Winner - T. McGiff 55 nett.

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results Week 18 29th May 2014 555 HaHaHa 9 - 9 Dara Bar Casanova’s 6 - 12 Clansmen Monicas 8 - 10 Lanla Bar Pistol Petes 15 - 3 Jaew Bar Railway Tavern 6 - 12 JJ Sports Bar Sinatras 6 - 12 Hua Hin Miss You Squealing Pig 8 - 10 Maria’s No fixture - Hua Hin Miss You

results Week 20 30th May 2014 Clansmen v Rockets n/a Dolphin Bar 2 v Lucky Shot A n/a Hua Hin Miss You v TK Roadhouse n/a JW Black v Maria Bar 1 n/a Lord Webb 1 v Jaew Bar n/a Maria Bar 2 v Chill Out n/a Oasis v Sunset Boulevard n/a Pa’s Beer Garden v Dolphin Bar 1 n/a

League Table

League Table

Team 555 HaHaHa Clansmen Maria’s Lanla Bar JJ Sports Bar Monicas Jaew Bar Pistol Petes Hut Bar HHin Miss You Railway Tavern Squealing Pig Sinatras Dara Bar Casanova’s

P 17 17 16 15 17 17 17 17 15 16 16 15 16 15 16

W 15 12 12 11 10 8 8 7 6 4 5 4 3 2 2

D 2 3 2 0 2 3 1 1 2 3 0 0 2 2 1

L 0 2 2 4 5 6 8 9 7 9 11 11 11 11 13

+/- Pts 88 32 64 27 60 26 50 22 32 22 -2 19 -6 17 12 15 -16 14 -28 11 -46 10 -32 8 -56 8 -62 6 -58 5

Fixtures Week 20 12th June 2014 555 HaHaHa v Hut Bar Casanova’s v Hua Hin Miss You Clansmen v Dara Bar Pistol Petes v Maria’s Railway Tavern v Lanla Bar Sinatras v JJ Sports Bar Squealing Pig v Monicas No fixture - Jaew Bar

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LUCKY SHOT BAR

Hua Hin Pool Billiard League

thursday friendly Pool League

Team Dolphin Bar 2 Lucky Shot A Oasis Maria Bar 2 JW Black Maria Bar 1 Dolphin Bar 1 TK Roadhouse Lord Webb 1 Sunset B’vard Pa’s Beer Grdn Chill Out Jaew Bar Rockets HHin Miss You Clansmen

P 19 18 19 19 18 19 19 18 18 18 19 19 18 17 19 17

W 18 14 13 12 10 8 10 7 6 5 5 3 2 1 2 0

D 0 1 3 5 6 7 2 4 5 4 4 5 6 5 2 3

L 1 3 3 2 2 4 7 7 7 9 10 11 10 11 15 14

+/- Pts 62 36 54 29 52 29 44 29 38 26 18 23 12 22 -4 18 -2 17 -22 14 -24 14 -28 11 -42 10 -40 7 -64 6 -54 3

fixtures Week 21 6th June 2014 Chill Out v Dolphin Bar 2 Dolphin Bar 1 v Maria Bar 2 Jaew Bar v Hua Hin Miss You Lucky Shot A v Oasis Maria Bar 1 v Clansmen Rockets v Lord Webb 1 Sunset Boulevard v JW Black TK Roadhouse v Pa’s Beer Garden Week 22 13th June 2014 Clansmen v Sunset Boulevard Dolphin Bar 1 v TK Roadhouse Hua Hin Miss You v Rockets JW Black v Lucky Shot A Lord Webb 1 v Maria Bar 1 Maria Bar 2 v Dolphin Bar 2 Oasis v Chill Out Pa’s Beer Garden v Jaew Bar

Hua Hin’s only pool bar with FOUR 9’ tables Ask about our drinks specials and other special offers Contact Andy on 086 178 1550 Email: aknabe@gmx.net 27/3 Poolsuk Road, Hua Hin

hua hin khao takiab super Pool League

results Week 14 29th May 2014 Beach Hut 16 - 3 Sasa Bar Bokey Bar 5 - 14 Jungle Juice Dolphin Bar 15 - 4 Muan Bar 1 Maria Bar 9 - 10 Bobby’s Birds Muan Bar 2 14 - 5 JNB Bar TK Roadhouse 12 - 7 Somatch (3D + 1) Bar League Table Team Dolphin Bar Maria Bar Muan Bar 2 Jungle Juice Beach Hut Bobby’s Birds TK Roadhouse Somatch Bar JNB Bar Muan Bar 1 Sasa Bar Bokey Bar

P 14 14 14 14 14 14 14 14 14 14 14 14

W 12 10 10 9 8 9 6 5 4 5 5 1

L 2 4 4 5 6 5 8 9 10 9 9 13

+/72 66 56 26 20 10 -12 -28 -32 -44 -46 -88

Pts 169 166 161 146 143 138 127 119 117 111 110 89

Fixtures Week 16 12th June 2014 Beach Hut v Muan Bar 1 Bobby’s Birds v JNB Bar Dolphin Bar v Jungle Juice Maria Bar v Sasa Bar Muan Bar 2 v Somatch (3D + 1) Bar TK Roadhouse v Bokey Bar

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HUA HIN social POOL LEAGUE

hua hin/kao takiab ladies Pool League

results Week 14 4th June 2014 All Nations GH 9 - 10 Jungle Juice A Billys A 7 - 12 Buckleys JW Red 7 - 12 JW Black Jungle Juice B 10 - 9 Pink Panther Limelight 12 - 7 Sabai Tiger Bar 8 - 11 King Bar A

results Week 25 2nd June 2014 Sa Sa Bar 6 - 6 Muan Bar Somatch (3D+1) Bar 6 - 6 Monicas Sunset Boulevard 6 - 6 JNB Bar TK Roadhouse 9 - 3 Railway Tavern The Clansmen 5 - 7 Jaew Bar The Lord Webb 4 - 8 Dara Bar The Squealing Pig 5 - 7 Bobby’s Birds

League Table

League Table

Team Buckleys Limelight Jungle Juice B King Bar A Sabai Pink Panther JW Red Tiger Bar Billys A All Nations GH JW Black Jungle Juice A

P 13 14 14 13 14 14 14 14 14 13 14 13

W 11 10 9 9 8 7 6 6 5 4 4 3

L 2 4 5 4 6 7 8 8 9 9 10 10

+/- Pts 59 22 32 20 20 18 17 18 10 16 14 14 -8 12 -22 12 -24 10 -17 8 -34 8 -47 6

Fixtures Week 15 11th June 2014 Buckleys v Tiger Bar Jungle Juice A v Billys A JW Black v All Nations GH King Bar A v Limelight Pink Panther v JW Red Sabai v Jungle Juice B

Team Muan Bar Jaew Bar The Clansmen Squealing Pig TK Roadhouse Bobby’s Birds JNB Bar Railway Tavern Sunset B’vard Dara Bar Somatch Bar The Lord Webb Sa Sa Bar Monicas

P 25 26 25 25 25 25 25 25 25 25 25 26 25 25

W 20 13 12 11 11 11 11 8 8 9 9 8 7 3

D 4 7 6 6 6 4 4 9 8 4 2 3 2 5

L 1 6 7 8 8 10 10 8 9 12 14 15 16 17

+/- Pts 80 44 36 33 26 30 22 28 8 28 6 26 -4 26 -4 25 6 24 -18 22 -18 20 -24 19 -50 16 -66 11

Fixtures Week 26 9th June 2014 Bobby’s Birds v TK Roadhouse Dara Bar v The Squealing Pig JNB Bar v The Clansmen Monicas v Sunset Boulevard Muan Bar v Somatch (3D+1) Bar Railway Tavern v Sa Sa Bar

NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS A non-profit fellowship of men and women for whom drugs have become a major problem

Meetings now in Hua Hin every Sunday at 11.30am and every Thursday at 6pm Contact Add 086 014 7585 Emmanuel K. 090 438 387 Mark 084 314 1928

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hua hin/khao takiab Fun Pool League

results - division 1 Week 7 4th June 2014 Clansman 8 - 10 Maria’s Bar JJ Sports Bar 13 - 5 TK Roadhouse Muan Bar 10 - 8 Beach Hut Bar Sunset Boulevard 12 - 6 Jaew Bar League Table - division 1 Team Maria’s Bar JJ Sports Bar Sunset B’vard Clansman Muan Bar TK Roadhouse Beach Hut Bar Jaew Bar

P W D 7 6 1 7 4 2 7 4 2 7 3 2 7 4 0 7 2 1 7 1 0 7 0 0

L 0 1 1 2 3 4 6 7

+/- Pts 32 13 16 10 16 10 10 8 0 8 2 5 -24 2 -52 0

Fixtures - division 1 Week 8 11th June 2014 Clansman v Muan Bar JJ Sports Bar v Jaew Bar Maria’s Bar v Sunset Boulevard TK Roadhouse v Beach Hut Bar results - division 2 Week 7 4th June 2014 Bobby’s Bangers 15 - 3 The Bridge Casanova’s 11 - 7 Bobby’s Beauties Dara’s Bar 12 - 6 Pistol Pete’s TK Roadies 9 - 9 Aussie Bar League Table - division 2 Team P W D Bobbys B’ties 7 5 1 TK Roadies 7 4 2 Casanova’s 7 4 0 Dara’s Bar 7 3 2 Pistol Pete’s 7 4 0 Bobbys Bngers 7 3 0 The Bridge 7 1 2 Aussie Bar 7 0 1

L 1 1 3 2 3 4 4 6

+/- Pts 34 11 6 10 2 8 0 8 -2 8 16 6 -28 4 -28 1

Fixtures - division 2 Week 8 11th June 2014 Bobby’s Bangers v Bobby’s Beauties Dara’s Bar v Aussie Bar Pistol Pete’s v Casanova’s The Bridge v TK Roadies

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HUA HIN DARTS LEAGUE

division 1 results Week 10 3rd June 2014 CAT Jiggapik 11 - 7 Jungle Juice Hua Hin Miss You 2 5 - 13 Blue Lagoon 2 Johnny’s 56 0 - 18 Blue Lagoon 1

division 2 results Week 10 3rd June 2014 Cat Jiggapik v All Nations Guesthouse n/a Hua Hin Miss You 1 9 - 9 The Clansmen Robin’s Rest 18 - 0 Chill Chill Bar

League table

League table

Team CAT Jiggapik Blue Lagoon 1 Jungle Juice HHin Miss You 2 Blue Lagoon 2 Johnny’s 56

P 10 10 10 10 10 10

W 8 8 7 3 1 1

D 0 0 0 1 2 1

L 2 2 3 6 7 8

+/- Pts 74 16 62 16 54 14 -70 7 -58 4 -62 3

fixtures The season is over. Congratulations to CAT Jiggapick on winning the division in a very tight finish with Blue Lagoon and Jungle Juice. Details of the new season will appear here when available.

Team All Nations GH Robin’s Rest HHin Miss You 1 The Clansmen Chill Chill Bar Cat Jiggapik

P 9 10 9 7 7 6

W 8 7 4 2 1 0

D 0 0 1 2 0 1

L 1 3 4 3 6 5

+/- Pts 82 16 74 14 4 9 -40 6 -72 2 -48 1

fixtures The season is over. Congratulations to All Nations on winning the division despite all games not being completed. Details of the new season will appear here when available.

hash house harriers - A drinking Club with a running and walking Problem!

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The Cha-Am and Hua Hin Hash House Harrier Clubs meet alternate Saturdays for around an hours run/walk in the countryside followed by a social gathering. If you would like to come along then visit the new single website at http://www. h2h3-cah3.com or Facebook at www.facebook. com/H2H3CAH3 for full details and directions.

People attending and participating do so entirely at their own risk.

NEXT RUN Saturday 7th June 2014 @ 4.30 pm CHA-AM H3 Run #232 Stamford University Basketball Court car park GPS Coordinates: N 12.641117, E 99.917817 (N 12 38.467 E 99 55.069) Google Map Link: https://goo.gl/maps/J0iVw FROM HUA HIN via Phet Kasem Road: Google Map Link: https://goo.gl/maps/FkwpM 1) Proceed NORTH on Phet Kasem Road to the 210 km Marker then turn LEFT onto Palm Hills Golf Course.

2) Follow the signs to Stamford University and

park next to Basketball Court.

FROM CHA-AM via Phet Kasem Road: 1) Make your way SOUTH on Phet Kasem Road and after passing the 209 km marker turn RIGHT into Palm Hills Golf Course 2) Follow the signs to Stamford University and park next to Basketball Court.

HARES – Hugmanannygoat & Bush Whacker ON ON ON: Maeboonlom – Exit Palm Hills Golf Course turn LEFT on Klong Road and drive 2 km to crossroads, restaurant on right.

Fees: Male Drinkers ฿200, Female Drinkers ฿150, Teetotalers ฿100, kids ฿50, under 8’s Free. Your effort to bring the CORRECT change would be very much appreciated.

Darts supplies 087 155 7737 Brisal Dartboard now available!

10% OFF FOR DARTS LEAGUE PLAYERS hua hin city F.C

RESULTS 1st june 2014 Hua Hin City 3 - 1 Raj Pracha FIXTURES 29th june 2014 Raj Pracha v Hua Hin City 16:00 Thai Division 2 Regional League Central West Region League Table TEAM Hua Hin Muangkan United Phetchaburi Krung Thonburi Singburi Samut Sakhon Looktabfah Ratchaphruek Seeker J.W. BU Nonthaburi Thonburi City Globlex Raj Pracha

P 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13

W 9 9 7 6 6 5 5 4 4 4 3 2 3 2

D 2 2 2 3 3 5 4 4 2 2 4 6 3 2

L GD PTs 2 +13 29 2 +12 29 4 +2 23 4 +4 21 4 +3 21 3 +2 20 4 +3 19 5 +1 16 7 −6 14 7 −8 14 6 −4 13 5 −2 12 7 −7 12 9 −14 8

Hua Hin City Football Club is the local professional team for the area formed in 2011. They currently play their home matches at the Kai Tanarat Stadium in Pranburi.

Pool 51 Resort - Soi 51 swimming pool - a/c - fridge lcd tv - dvd - cable channels - free wifi.... great location and quiet...weekly - monthly pool51huahin@gmail.com 032 511564 Sell it fast with AWOL Classifieds

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football news

Bobby’s Bar

kicked off by bobby’s bar fixtures

Saturday 7th June 2014 INTERNATIONAL FRIENDLIES Colombia v Jordan 06:00 Croatia v Australia 06:00 Japan v Zambia 06:30 Costa Rica v R. of Ireland 07:00 Greece v Bolivia 07:00 Mexico v Portugal 08:30 Sunday 8th June 2014 INTERNATIONAL FRIENDLIES Estonia v Tajikistan 00:00 Hungary v Kazakhstan 01:30 Belgium v Tunisia 01:45 Argentina v Slovenia 02:00 El Salvador v Spain 03:00 England v Honduras 03:45 USA v Nigeria 05:00 Trinidad and Tobago v Iran 06:00 Monday 9th June 2014 INTERNATIONAL FRIENDLIES San Marino v Albania 01:30 France v Jamaica 02:00 Ghana v South Korea 06:00 Tuesday 10th June 2014 INTERNATIONAL FRIENDLIES R. of Ireland v Portugal 20:45 Friday 13th June 2014 FIFA WORLD CUP - GROUP A Brazil v Croatia 03:00 Mexico v Cameroon 23:00 See the AWOL 2014 FIFA World Cup Wallchart in the middle pages of this issue for the full schedule for the 2014 World Cup

football gossip

Chelsea will try to sign £30m-rated Barcelona midfielder Cesc Fabregas, 27, to replace the departing Frank Lampard. Daily Telegraph Tottenham Hotspur have made enquires about Feyenoord defender Daryl Janmaat, 24, who is also wanted by Manchester United and Napoli. Daily Mail Gaston Ramirez has become the latest Southampton star tipped to leave the club with Italian side Torino keen on the 23-yearold midfielder. Daily Mirror Atletico Madrid loanee goalkeeper Thibaut Courtois, 22, has confirmed he has held talks with Chelsea boss Jose Mourinho over his Stamford Bridge future. Daily Star Stoke chairman Peter Coates expects the club to sign former Manchester United striker Mame Biram Diouf, 26, from German side Hannover. Daily Mail Manchester United, Arsenal and Tottenham are set to miss out as Real Madrid and Juventus plan a swap deal involving midfielder Arturo Vidal, 27, and striker Alvaro Morata, 21. Daily Express Bayern Munich have expressed an interest in Manchester City’s 28-year-old defender Aleksandar Kolarov, but face competition from Roma and Juventus. Daily Mail Bundesliga outfit Wolfsburg are the latest team to declare their interest in Chelsea striker Romelu Lukaku, 21. Daily Express Hull City boss Steve Bruce is set to seal a £9.75m double deal for Chelsea defender Ryan Bertrand, 24, and Marseille midfielder Morgan Amalfitano, 29, this week. Daily Star Arsenal, Newcastle and West Ham have been told they will have to pay £19m if they want Swansea’s 25-year-old striker Wilfried Bony.

Daily Mirror

Home of the Free Sunday Roast & Free Bar B Que every Friday Call 089 985 7473

Soi 102, Hua Hin (200m on right after railway) world cup 2014 predictor

AWOL has set up its own game on our website for readers to try and predict the results of all the matches in the 2014 World Cup. You will need to be a registered user on the AWOL website (free to join) and logged in to play; you can register and log in using your Facebook, Twitter, Hotmail, Gmail and many other social or email networks. Go to www. awolonline.net to register/log in, and then click on ‘Play World Cup 2014 Predictor’ Full details of the game rules and scoring system can be found on the site. fantasy world cup

We have chosen the World Cup Fantasy Football game by FanXT to form an AWOL private league in - to join the game you need to register (free and can be done with your Facebook account) at the following web address -

fantasyworldcup.fanxt.com

and then go to the following web address to join the AWOL Challenge league -

fantasyworldcup.fanxt.com/invite. php?lid=410&flid=308823

As well as the fame you can achieve locally in the AWOL competition, there will be some prizes on offer from the game organisers, to be announced soon.

27

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blatter’s alive!

2026 Mongo World Cup triggers controversy

mingo city, mongo FIFA has promised an investigation into the successful 2026 World Cup bid by the planet Mongo.

Work on the stadia has been plagued with rumours that unions have been suppressed, worker wages withheld and the entire world is enslaved by the threat of an enormous death ray.

Ruler Ming The Merciless said: “Our bid was the most competitive and we’re confident that the Hawkmen will be utterly crushed before the opening ceremony.

“I think the last thing anyone wants is Brian Blessed shouting abuse at the dancers and crapping on Pele from a height of 300 feet.”

Reporter Dale Arden has managed to gain access to footage of Sepp Blatter having

Above: Prince Vultan (Brian Blessed) spots an opportunity to give Sepp Blatter a wedgie.

One Stop Service

dinner with The Merciless in his palatial Magnetic Mountains residence while scantily-clad green women cavorted for their pleasure.

Documents also show that several highranking FIFA officials bought land in the uninhabitable Dire Marsh region before Mongo was named as host. They have since made massive profits as the lands are drained to make way for infrastructure and by selling its native lizard men as meat.

FIFA have appointed independent investigator and former footballer Flash Gordon to investigate the situation on Mongo, mostly with his shirt off.

Arden said: “I love Flash but he only has fourteen hours to gather enough evidence to warrant a second vote.”

Construction

P. S.

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House Sales • • Legal Services Land Sales • • Visas Projects • • Work permits Permits etc.. • • Insurance GROUP Tel./Fax: 032 472589 psconsultingchaam@gmail.com • Translations 46 Netelon Road, Cha Am • Company Registrations • Travel services • Copy/Print/Fax etc

Mon - Sat. 9am to 6pm 032 890218

psonestopchaam@gmail.com 339/52 Ruamchit Road (Beach Rd.) Near Soi 5, Cha Am See also our advert on page 5

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