AWOL Issue 292

Football

Your free weekly newspaper since 2008

issue 2 92 25 July 2014

Cashing In Area 555 Noticeboard The Wining Dutchman

tee time

Victor

guesthouse open 24/7

Naresdamri Rd. opposite Brasserie de Paris

Rooms/family suites in heart of Hua Hin a/c, lcd tv, dvd player, fridge, free premium wifi, cable TV www.victorguesthousehuahin.com

it’s golf festival time again!

hua hin, THAILAND One of the fixtures of the Hua Hin and Cha Am golf calendar is just round the corner as the Golf Festival 2014 begins again on 1st August. This year ten local courses are taking part, although it seems as if this year the one price green fee has been abandoned, and will vary between 1000 to 1800 baht depending on the course. Please contact the courses for details and bookings.

The participating courses are as follows: - Imperial Lake View Hotel and Golf Club 032 456 233 - Majestic Creek Golf Club and Resort 032 619 168 - Palm Hills Golf Resort and Country Club 032 520 820 - Kaeng Krachan Country Club and Resort 032 459 318 - Royal Hua Hin Golf Course 032 512 475 - The Eagle Milford Golf Club 032 572 441 - Springfield Village Golf and Spa 032 709 222-9 - Banyan Golf Course 032 616 200 - Black Mountain Golf Course 032 618 666 - Sea Pines Golf Course 032 515 470-1 There will also be special promotions and competitions will take place every Sunday from 3rd August – 5th October, 2014. Anyone who makes advance bookings enables them to enter a lucky draw and to win an ‘amazing’ prize – a Honda Brio Amaze. The lucky winner will be announced on the final day of the festival.

GET RACING FROM ONLY 400 BAHT! OPEN EVERYDAY 10.30AM - 7PM, LATE NIGHT BY APPOINTMENT Call 032 547 199 (Office) or 081 817 3000 (Mobile) Soi 2, Phetchkasem Road opposite Hua Hin Airport

www.gokarthuahin.com

Visit www.awolonline.net

EVERY ADVERT IN AWOL IS SEEN

BY UP TO 4000 people, online and in print every week

UNDER NEW MANAGEMENT

BAR & RESTAURANT

BBQ, Ribs, Chops, Burgers, Snacks etc Eat In or Take Out Air con, Pool table, Draft Leo

Large domestic beers 110 baht HAPPY HOUR! 1 - 6pm

Open every day from 1pm - late

12/10 Soi Samoprong, Hua Hin Tel. 080 652 0531

Sangsom + mixer 40 baht Wine 55 baht Large domestic beers 65 baht

Located off the canal road north of the traffic lights; turn left at the bridge after the petrol station and right before the 7-11. We are on the right.

THE

BRIDGE KHAO TAKIAB Try Ning’s Indian cuisine and Thai delicacies

Right fork past the police station and we are 100m further on the left over the bridge

Tel. 089 586 1700

Follow AWOL on AWOLexpat

Professional Maintenance for your Swimming Pool • • • • • • • • •

Twice weekly service (more for extra fee) Test water for correct chemical levels Add chemicals as required Clean and scrub tiles Vacuum pool/ spa Adjust water level Backwash filters Empty pump and skimmer baskets Inspect and maintain equipment Example price: 6 x 3 metre pool just 1500 baht a month Contact us NOW for a free inspection and quote for your pool or spa

Call 081 572 3996 or 086 802 5951 2

awolhuahin

Email info@cnpoolservice.com Website www.cnpoolservice.com

NOT IN THE HUA HIN AREA? GET THE DIGITAL AWOL EVERY WEEK!

Available to download or read online on the AWOL website, AWOL Forum, Facebook and from Issuu.com, Joomag.com & MediaFire.com Current and all back issues accessible Subscribe on our website to get weekly email notifications at www.awolonline.net

LIVE JAZZ

7 - 9 pm every evening (except Sundays) ALL THE BEAUTIFUL OLD TUNES PLAYED ON CORNET & DOUBLE BASS

THE FAT CAT

RESTAURANT NEAR THE FISHING PIER GOOD FOOD - SPECIAL JAZZ MENU TEL. 086 206 2455 WEB. www.thefatcathuahin.com

Sell it fast with AWOL Classifieds

Unique tours athere the WFFT Wildlife Rescue www.wfft.org Advertise from only 40 Center baht- per week

AWOL PAGE 3

BROUGHT TO YOU BY easy car rental keeping you fully covered

Daily Prices: 2014 Toyota Yaris from ฿ 600 Honda City from ฿ 700 Toyota Fortuner from ฿ 900

includes Full Car Hire Insurance, Sat Nav, Dash Cam and Breakdown Cover

www.easycarhuahin.com Tel: 086 166 9880

AWOL with Ling Photos coutesy of Haribo

3

Join the AWOL forum

Visit www.awolonline.net

WEATHER

AND TIDES

BROUGHT TO YOU

BY LIN’S CAFE NOTED FOR FRESH AIR AND FUN

World weather (18-7-14)

4

CITY Amsterdam Ankara Athens Auckland Beijing Berlin Buenos Aires Cairo Chicago Copenhagen Dubai Dublin Geneva Helsinki Ho Chi Minh City Hong Kong Islamabad Jakarta Jerusalem Johannesburg Karachi Kuala Lumpur London Madrid Manila Mexico City Moscow Mumbai New Delhi New York Oslo Paris Perth Phnom-Penh Rio De Janeiro Riyadh Rome San Francisco Seoul Shanghai Singapore Stockholm Sydney Taibei/Taipei Tokyo Vancouver Vientiane Yangon Zurich

Min. Max. Weather 16 27 Fine 15 34 Thunderstorms 22 32 Showers 9 15 Showers 25 32 Overcast 17 25 Showers 4 12 Cloudy 24 35 Mist 16 22 Fine 17 27 Cloudy 32 38 Clear 15 23 Bright 16 26 Fine 16 28 Clear 24 31 Thunderstorms 27 31 Chance of T-storms 25 31 Thunderstorms 25 33 Rain 20 30 Fine 3 22 Fine 29 34 Thunderstorms 25 34 Fine 18 27 Fine 21 36 Fine 25 30 Rain 13 24 Thunderstorms 13 26 Rain 27 30 Rain 27 34 Thunderstorms 22 28 Showers 15 29 Chance of T-storms 19 29 Showers 13 21 Partly Cloudy 25 34 Chance of T-storms 15 32 Fine 29 43 Clear 19 27 Cloudy 14 25 Fog 23 28 Rain 28 32 Rain 26 33 Fine 16 30 Clear 9 18 Cloudy 27 31 Overcast 26 34 Cloudy 14 20 Overcast 24 32 Chance of T-storms 24 30 Thunderstorms 16 24 Fine

Lin’s Cafe

Open Every Day from 7.30am Big Breakfasts - Low Price Roast Dinners only 200 baht Tel: 089 797 1502 Phetkasem Road, near Soi 80

Local Forecast AND TIDES

Rain Conditions Temp. °C Tides

(mm) High Low High Low Saturday Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday

2 Cloudy with a shower 0 Cloudy 0 Cloudy 1 A thunderstorm in spots 3 A thunderstorm in the area 0 A thick cloud cover 0 Sun through high clouds

33 32 33 32 34 34 34

25 25 26 26 26 26 26

19:08 19:32 04:34/ 19:57 05:34/ 20:19 06:29/ 20:36 07:18/ 20:51 08:06/ 21:06

10:54 11:35 01:26/ 12:11 01:54/ 12:42 02:23/ 13:10 02:50/ 13:35 03:15/ 14:01

thailand weather (24-7-14) Place Temp. Hum. Conditions Aranyaprathet 33 °C 54% Mostly Cloudy Bangkok 32 °C 62% Mostly Cloudy Bhumibol Dam 32 °C 62% Mostly Cloudy Bua Chum 34 °C 51% Scattered Clds Chaiyaphum 33 °C 44% Scattered Clds Chanthaburi 31 °C 70% Partly Cloudy Chiang Mai 32 °C 49% Scattered Clds Chiang Rai 30 °C 62% Mostly Cloudy Chumphon 27 °C 84% Mostly Cloudy Hat Yai 34 °C 49% Mostly Cloudy Kam Paeng Phet 32 °C 55% Scattered Clds Kanchanaburi 33 °C 43% Scattered Clds Khanom 28 °C 79% Mostly Cloudy Khlong Yai 31 °C 70% Partly Cloudy Khon Kaen 31 °C 58% Mostly Cloudy Ko Lanta 25 °C 94% Light Rain Ko Samui 28 °C 79% Mostly Cloudy Ko Sichang 32 °C 59% Mostly Cloudy Krabi 25 °C 94% Light Rain Laemchabang 33 °C 65% Mostly Cloudy Lampang 33 °C 55% Scattered Clds Lamphun 32 °C 49% Scattered Clds Loei 33 °C 49% Mostly Cloudy Lop Buri 32 °C 62% Mostly Cloudy Mae Hong Son 28 °C 66% Mostly Cloudy Mae Sariang 31 °C 51% Scattered Clds Mae Sot 29 °C 64% Scattered Clds Mukdahan 31 °C 70% Thunderstorm Nakhon Phanom 31 °C 70% Thunderstorm Nakhon Ratch. 34 °C 46% Partly Cloudy Nakhon Sawan 34 °C 50% Partly Cloudy Nakhon Si Tham. 29 °C 79% Mostly Cloudy Nan 30 °C 58% Overcast

Place Temp. Hum. Conditions Narathiwat 33 °C 63% Mostly Cloudy Nong Khai 30 °C 74% Rain Pattani 33 °C 63% Mostly Cloudy Pattaya 29 °C 47% Scattered Clds Phayao 30 °C 62% Mostly Cloudy Phetchabun 32 °C 55% Scattered Clds Phetchaburi 36 °C 47% Partly Cloudy Phitsanulok 32 °C 55% Scattered Clds Phrae 32 °C 62% Mostly Cloudy Phuket 27 °C 79% Mostly Cloudy Prachin Buri 32 °C 62% Mostly Cloudy Prachuap K.khan 36 °C 47% Partly Cloudy Ranong 27 °C 84% Mostly Cloudy Rayong 29 °C 79% Scattered Clds Roi Et 30 °C 70% Mostly Cloudy Sakon Nakhon 32 °C 57% Partly Cloudy Sattahip 30 °C 70% Scattered Clds Satun 34 °C 49% Mostly Cloudy Songkhla 32 °C 59% Mostly Cloudy Suphan Buri 32 °C 62% Mostly Cloudy Surat Thani 26 °C 100% Overcast Surin 32 °C 59% Mostly Cloudy Tak 32 °C 62% Mostly Cloudy Takua Pa 27 °C 79% Mostly Cloudy Tha Tum 32 °C 59% Mostly Cloudy Tha Wang Pha 30 °C 58% Overcast Thong Pha Phum 30 °C 69% Mist Trang 29 °C 66% Mist Ubon Ratchathani 33 °C 55% Mostly Cloudy Udon Thani 32 °C 62% Mostly Cloudy Uttaradit 32 °C 62% Mostly Cloudy Wichian Buri 32 °C 57% Scattered Clds

Sell it fast with AWOL Classifieds

Advertise here from only 40 baht per week

P.S. Legal Group (Cha Am)

Family, Commercial, Property and all other law handled by our specialist lawyers with over 40 years of legal experience Real Estate and Domestic/ International Investments

One Stop services: Company Set Up, Work permits, Visas, Ticket Booking Contact us: We speak English, Norwegian, Swedish, Danish and Thai Tel/Fax: 032 890156 Mob: 080 307 5517 or 089 981 0004 E-Mail: pslegalchaam@gmail.com Line: p.s.group Skype : pslegal1 Address: 245/7 Narathip Road, Cha Am, Petchaburi

5

Join the AWOL forum

e

a ls

10

%

O F

F

!

v A b al W u id ff O o a to L n l ly o 1/8 ta / (d v 14 a r e in r t k n s n o t in c lu d e d )

Visit www.awolonline.net

m

Public House and restaurant

new! kepplers irish cider

on draught just 160 baht a pint Plus thatchers cider in bottles all day breakfast from 8.30am sunday roast available every day childrens menu Luxurious suites overlooking the beach, large outside sun terrace and free WIFI

www.buffalobillshuahin.com

info@buffalobillshuahin.com

Located on the corner of Chomsin/ Naresdamri rd by the fishing pier For bookings or more information call 085 291 8685, 080 727 4710 or fax 032 530087

Call 082 298 0500 or 081 649 8361 Property Email realestate@luckyhuahin.com or property@awolonline.net Marketplace gated community with great facilities

Price: from 2.7m baht

6

Ref No. 032583

Underground utilities Private pool 8km from town 2, 3 or 4 bedrooms Living: from 91 sqm Land: from 300 sqm

new pool villas in south hua hin

Price: from 3.9 m baht for 2 bed to 6.8 m baht for 3 bed Ref No. 032553

stunning L shaped borfai bungalow

Price: 9.9 m baht

3 Bedrooms 4 Bathrooms European kitchen Outdoor Thai kitchen Living: 430 sqm.

Land: 1,244 sqm. or 2,304 sqm. for 13.9m baht

Ref No.: 032537

peaceful 3 bed villa in s/w hua hin

Price: 9.3 m baht

7 design options Sun Roof Decks Easy access to town Full Air Con Packs Clubhouse 24 hour security

Sell it fast with AWOL Classifieds

Ref No. 032582

Euro fitted kitchen Private pool Convenient location 3 bedrooms Separate Annexe Land: 600 sqm

Advertise here from only 40 baht per week

Bobby’s British Breakfast Foods UK Sausages, Ham, Bacon, Pies, Teas etc.

Call 087 155 7737 or 089 985 7473

SERVED UP BY...

A section for all you budding etymologists where each week the origin of a word or phrase is investigated.

This week it is..... On the fiddle Engaged in a fraud.

‘Fiddling’ is usually meant to mean ‘cheating in a petty way’, perhaps falsifying one’s expenses or not declaring all of one’s taxable income. Of course, a fiddle is also a slang term for violin.

There are a couple of proposed derivations of the ‘cheating’ meaning of the phrase ‘on the fiddle’, each of them having supporters who are firm in their belief. Let’s take the oldest first. The expression is said by some to derive from the Emperor Nero, who famously ‘fiddled while Rome burned’ and was a byword for corruption and dishonesty. The second suggestion is that the ‘fiddle’ was the name of the raised edge of the square wooden plates used by sailors. If a sailor took a normal amount of food he was said to have a ‘square meal’ and if his plate was overflowing he was said to be ‘on the fiddle’.

As is often the case, those suggestions have only been mentioned in order to knock them down. The Nero story is mere fancy. It may be a nice play on words that he was ‘on the fiddle’ in both senses, that is, he was both corrupt and a violinist (actually he wasn’t even a violinist, there being no such instrument in Nero’s lifetime, but let’s not get sidetracked) but that’s all this tale has going for it.

The culinary procedures on board sailing ships don’t offer much of an explanation either. The idea that sailors’ plates had raised edges and that these were called fiddles is quite incorrect. There were fiddles in sailing ships’ galleys but those were arrangements of small posts and strings arranged around the edges of tables that were used to stop plates falling on the floor in rough weather.

If the above isn’t enough to convince then the fact that ‘on the fiddle’ in the ‘acting fraudulently’ meaning is a mid-20th century idiom should clinch it. The expression wasn’t known in the age of sail and certainly not in ancient Rome. A good place to look for a phrase like

‘on the fiddle’, with its association with minor crime, would be court records, and if the expression were in common use in English it might be expected to be found in the database of cases provided by the Central Criminal Court in England and Wales, commonly known as the Old Bailey. This is a comprehensive record of all the criminal cases brought to the court between 1674 and 1913, and no one was accused in The Bailey of being ‘on the fiddle’ during all that time.

The term ‘fiddle’ appears to have originated in America.

It is recorded in an 1874 edition of John Hotten’s Slang Dictionary: Fiddle... In America, a swindle or an imposture.

Hotten also included this entry: Fiddler... A sharper, a cheat; also one who dawdles over little matters, and neglects great ones. ’On the fiddle’ was taken up by the British forces in WWII. It was well enough established in popular slang in the UK by 1961 for it to have been used as the title of a Sean Connery film and that is the first example of it that is found in print. The plot involved a young Connery playing a streetwise rough diamond who runs various street scams while serving in the British army.

Is there an English phrase or saying that you would like to know more about?

Email it to us on submissions@awolonline.net

Enjoy a Day Tour at the Wildlife Rescue Center

Only With our daily tours we explore the WFFT Rescue Center’s animals; we have bears, 45 m from inutes d elephants, gibbons and many others. You will learn about the animal’s Only rive Hu 3 life stories, and walk with our elephants to the nearby forest. You can shower Tran 0 minutes a Hin, spor f t can rom Cha the elephant after the walk, and help with the feed out to the bears and monkeys. be a rrang Am. Responsible tourism as we keep animal welfare as top priority. ed.

Visit us for an unforgettable experience!

Bookings: 0822458598 (English) / 032458135 (Thai/English), email: daytrips@wfft.org Check us out on www.wfft.org Facebook-Wildlife Friends Thailand / Tripadvisor

Join the AWOL forum

7

Visit www.awolonline.net

AWOL Sudoku

Facebook@Power of Love Church Tel K. Andrew 080 999 3603 K. Panaya 092 592 3604 (Thai)

(Services every Sunday 10 am at Hilton Resort and Spa)

Puzzle 2

Puzzle 1

Last issue’s solutions

We are working to help the Slums of Hua Hin and would love to have you deliver your goods with us, so you know your donation is going directly to those who need it. We need secondhand items, clothes and household goods.

Why not join us and come to the slums with us?

We leave from our offices at 17:20 Every Tuesday evening. Visit us any day, on Soi 88, over the railway, 200m up on the left, 2nd floor above IQ hair dressers

Puzzle 2 (Hard)

Puzzle 1 (Easy)

Each week we have an easy and a hard Sudoku puzzle. Just fill in the empty squares so that each horizontal and vertical line, and each section, has all the numbers 1 to 9.

Power Of HELP NEEDED FOR THE SLUMS IN HUA HIN Love Church

8

EXPAT INSURANCE SOLUTIONS Health (up to 85), Car, Motorbike, House, Commercial.

Full medical cover for expats worldwide Travel insurance specialist (including as required for Schenghen visas) Soi 94, last unit on left before railway

085 962 2232 or 032 512075 franckracinesiamconsulting@gmail.com www.siam-consulting.asia www.asiaexpatinsurance.com

ALL NATIONS

hua hin

guesthouse and bar 12 rooms from 350 baht a night free wifi for guests 032 512747

allnationshuahin@ gmail.com Drop your AWOL Classifieds in here

Sell it fast with AWOL Classifieds

Advertise here from only 40 baht per week

cashING in The Financial Benefits of Being an Expat...benjamin franklin style

Every week in this article Helen Couldrey, a financial consultant with the deVere Group, and also a qualified English lawyer, will give you tips and ideas of how to take advantage financially of being an expat. Helen has clients in Bangkok, Hua Hin and Cha-Am who she helps to maximise the financial benefits of living overseas.

CHA-AM AND HUA HIN

Retirement Planning - Education Fee Planning Regular Savings - Tax Saving Lump Sum Investments

Helen Couldrey, BA (Hons), L.L.B, CISI Contact Helen for a finance review 086 088 2127 helen.couldrey@devere-group.com

Family Protection Some people are of the opinion that everyone should have a life insurance policy. Personally, I am not of that opinion. Instead, the key questions is: would your dependents be in a financially difficult position if something were to happen to you? If the answer is ‘yes’ then life insurance is definitely a must-have.

However, life insurance normally comes at a cost so it is important that its engagement is considered carefully. Which then begs the question, who really needs life insurance?

•

‘The Breadwinner’. If you are the key earner of the family then having this safety net in place is essential. Without your income the lives of your remaining family would be materially affected. Would your children be able to stay in the same school? Might your family have to move house? Drive a different car? The death of a breadwinner often results in a drastic change of lifestyle for a surviving spouse and/ or children, but this can be protected against.

• Dual Earners. If you are both bringing in an

income but one income were to fall away, would you still have enough to support the family? A Joint Life Insurance policy is often considered by couples to ensure all bases are covered.

• ‘I’m covered by my company’. If you and/or your

partner are employed you may well have Death In Service Benefit provided by your employer, normally paying out 2 to 4 times your annual salary. Of course, this is a great perk of your job, however, DISB only rarely proves to be enough life coverage to fully support a family over the long-term. Sitting down and considering exactly how much cover you need is essential.

• Business Owners. Many business owners will

take out loans for their businesses, securing those loans on their personal assets. This can lead to a stressful situation in the event that the surviving family members have to sell some of the

assets to meet the loan obligations. In addition if your business is a partnership it is important to consider the implication of one of the partners dying. This is particularly the case in Thailand where company ownership can be complicated.

• Older Parent. If you have started a family later in

life it is important to consider that your children will require your support for the next 15 – 20 years.

Whilst people are living longer it is essential that you are covered in case of all eventualities.

Generally speaking, single and elderly persons with no dependents often do not need life insurance. However, sometimes they may wish to do so for extended member of the family or in case they are supporting parents. For the older generation they may also wish to establish life insurance in order to cover any potential inheritance tax bills that their families may face.

Buying a life insurance policy is not the glamorous end of the finance world. Further, not many people feel comfortable contemplating the consequences of something tragic happening to them; however it’s an essential part of financial planning and definitely something worth considering.

GET NOTICED! An advert in AWOL is the best and cheapest way to reach your customers

Join the AWOL forum

9

Visit www.awolonline.net

THE AWOL NOTICEBOARD guesthouse for sale in central hua hin

ALC ANO OHOL If yo NYM ICS that’ u want t OUS s o

082 298 0500

Call if yo your bu drink, to s u wa s p Dav nt to iness, ies - eak to w Hen stop 0870 an A e can r Lore ick - 087 620 09 A mem help. , ber: n-0 8 9 81 0 083 28 0 www7 6856 5 M

. ngs aathai l eve ry d and.or ay i nH g ua H

eeti

UB! SS CL in!

in

in Hua H CHE b starting , every lu NEeW C s s e h C xpat locks

ALE ?

S R O SS F d on

NE na BUSI not place a this size ard Why icebo t per week t o N the 0 bah weeks) 5 1 t s ju um 4 m i n i (m

New ss with c ing at Blitz cheafternoon/even r the a y Monda estaurant (ne ra), Soi Dacha R e, beside Saku ust. g Lin a R ilway om Monday 4 Au086 769 : r f a ly 4 9 5 ata 59 530 tantin/N Call Konsr Robert: 092 6joining in…

9187 o e interested in gmail.com if you ar il: dachahuahin@ Or e-ma

get noticed!

10

Place an ad on the AW OL Noticeboard, available in four sizes: Small - 100 baht per w eek Medium - 150 baht pe r week Big - 300 baht per wee k Large (this note) - 50 0 baht per week All ads are a minimum of 4 weeks Contact sales@awolon line.net or call 081 649 8361

d? thailan n i g n i v dri nal Internatio valid cence driving li 800 bt.

5 years 1 Call ) 771 (Eng 089 530 8

TELL EVERYONE ABOUT THE HAPPY HOUR EVERY DAY AT YOUR BAR

Sell it fast with AWOL Classifieds

Advertise here from only 40 baht per week

s&S

Soi 94 Indian restaurant Curries from only 75 baht

Eat in or Takeaway 081 455 5298 Capricorn Dec 22 - Jan 19 People say there are no second chances in life, but even as they tighten the straps, you’ll be listening for the governor’s phone call.

Aquarius Jan 20 – Feb 18 Help out your friends and relatives with a sensitive issue this week. Clearly label all your worldly possessions with the name of the intended recipient by about 8:15 on Friday night.

Pisces Feb 19 – Mar 20 You will suddenly realise that there is no meaning to the Universe save that we make and that all human love is merely sexuality in disguise, but then you’ll also realise that some jalapeño poppers would be great about now.

Aries Mar 21 – Apr 20 Your plans for an exciting weekend will be spoiled when a busybody scientist decides he just has to ask you why you want all that plutonium.

Taurus Apr 21 – May 21 It will seem as if you’ve finally received divine evidence of your Christlike nature, but it turns out all women bleed like that.

Gemini May 22 – June 21 You’ve always been afraid of someone washing your mouth out with soap, but that was before you learned they made a special mouth-soap in the form of a minty paste.

Cancer Jun 22 – Jul 22 Remember: The patient raindrops can eventually wear away even the hardest stone. Don’t let them get to close if you value your life.

Leo Jul 23 – Aug 22 There are two kinds of people in this world, and you’re almost certain that one of the two kinds does not have a penis.

Virgo Aug 23 – Sep 22 The stars foresee great heartbreak, loss, and danger ahead, especially if you do not stop asking why they didn’t tell you George Clooney was going to get malaria.

Libra Sep 23 – Oct 23 You will be physically overwhelmed by the simple eloquence and timeless beauty of a LeRoy Neimann painting, proving that there are dire consequences to having crappy taste.

Scorpio Oct 24 – Nov 21 While there’s no shame in admitting you don’t know everything, there’s actually quite a lot of shame in admitting you can’t figure out how to eat chips and salsa.

Sagittarius Nov 22 – Dec 21 Remember: It doesn’t matter how well the bear dances, because it’s impressive the bear can dance at all.

Now go shave, lose some weight, and take dancing lessons.

Contacting AWOL Advertising: sales@awolonline.net Classifieds: classifieds@awolonline.net Submissions: submissions@awolonline.net Enquiries: info@awolonline.net Property: property@awolonline.net Hua Hin Live: huahinlive@awolonline.net Website: www.awolonline.net Telephone: 081 649 8361 (Eng) or

081 614 8728 (Thai) Facebook: AWOLexpat Twitter: awolhuahin Office: 136/229 Emerald Hill, Soi 6,

Borfai, Hua Hin, 77110,

Prachuap Kiri Khan

Join the AWOL forum

11

Visit www.awolonline.net

AWOL codeword

an a to z of good food at let’s eat

Let’s Eat RESTAURANT Open 9am to 9pm English Breakfast and Thai Food Soi 3 Khao Takiab (next to 7-11) Call 082 248 0345 or 089 450 5755

Each letter in this puzzle is represented by a number 1-26.

Can you crack the code and solve the crossword? Every letter of the alphabet is used at least once. Three letters are already in place to get you started. Use the 1-26 small grid to keep track.

Last Week’s Solution

12

A N

B O

C P

D Q

E R

F S

G H T U

I J K V W X

L Y

M Z

NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS A non-profit fellowship of men and women for whom drugs have become a major problem

Meetings now in Hua Hin every Sunday at 11.30am and every Thursday at 6pm Contact Add 086 014 7585 Emmanuel K. 090 438 387 Mark 084 314 1928

This advert just 300 baht a week!*

Sell it fast with AWOL Classifieds

*when booked for 13 issues

Advertise here from only 40 baht per week

Send your jokes to submissions@ awolonline.net and get your name in print!

Brought to you by The Railway Tavern

The Speed of Time by Age 0 - 9 Extremely slow. Even a trip to the store with Mum seems like going to Albania - by covered wagon. Most common phrase: “Is it Christmas yet?”

10 - 19 Still slow. Scientific evidence seems to show that school clocks actually move backwards just before the bell rings.

20 - 29 Alternately fast and slow. Weekends seem shorter and shorter, yet paychecks seem further and further apart.

30 - 39 Time achieves warp speed, except when put on hold on the telephone and forced to endure anything longer than 5 seconds of Muzak. Most common phrase: “Is it Christmas already?”

40 - 49 Still fast. Seems like just yesterday when Jerry Brown said he might run for President. Wait a minute! It WAS yesterday when he said that. Also, Dick Clark still looks the same. Could time be slowing down?

60-69 Hey! What happened to 50-59?

70 + Unbelievably fast. Wars used to last years. Now it seems like they’re over in a couple weeks. fairy tales A little girl asked her father, “Daddy? Do all Fairy Tales begin with Once Upon A Time?”

And he replied, “No, there is a whole series of Fairy Tales that begin with ‘If Elected I promise...’”

Railway Tavern

PUB & CAFE HUA HIN SOI 88 085 429 0378

Motorbikes for Rent

Daily, weekly or long term H-E-G-S The Doctor tells his patient that he has H-E-G-S “What’s that?”, the patient asks.

“It’s a combination of Herpes, Encephalitis, Gonorrhea and Syphyllis.”

The patient wants to know if there’s a cure, to which the Doctor responds, “We have to keep you in a hospital room and feed you nothing but pancackes.”

“Why only pancackes?”, asks the patient.

The Doctor answers, “They’re the only thing that will fit under the door.” the knob A woman in her late forties went to a plastic surgeon for a face lift.

The surgeon told her about a new procedure called “The Knob” A small knob is placed on the back of a woman’s head and can be turned to tighten up her skin to produce the effect of a brand new face lift – forever.

Of course, the woman wanted “The Knob.”

Fifteen years later, the woman returned to the surgeon with two problems.

“All these years, everything has been working just fine.

I’ve had to turn the knob many times and I’ve always loved the results. But now I’ve developed two annoying problems. First, I have these terrible bags under my eyes and the knob won’t get rid of them.”

The doctor looked at her closely and said, “Those aren’t bags, those are your breasts.”

She said, “Well, I guess that explains the goatee!!

TK Roadhouse - Khao Takiab

LIVE Sports on BIG SCREEN Projector

Draft Cider, Beer Laos, Thai & Western Food Monday 14th July, 19:30pm - Monthly 10-Man Brunswick 9 Ball Competition Tuesday 5th August, 19:30pm - Monthly Quiz Night with Quizmaster Steve Open 4pm till late - Every Tuesday is Fajitas Night, 200 Baht - Every Friday is Curry Night, 200 Baht Happy Hour Prices to 7pm

Find us almost opposite Smor Resort, if you hit the one way section you have gone too far www.tkroadhouse.com Call Pla: 082 003 8702 Join the AWOL forum

13

Visit www.awolonline.net

get this ad size for less than ฿400 a week

buy, sell, rent or lease, this is the place to do it with ease

Call 081 649 8361 Email sales@awolonline.net

Business Rooms available in family run guesthouse from 3,000 baht a month. Weekly and daily rates available. Tiks Place at VIP Condo just north of Hua Hin airport. Please call David on 092 927 7207 or email davidhodgins@ ymail.com for more information.

BAR FOR SALE. Attractive bar on Soi 80, with pool table.

2 storey, three rooms available upstairs: office with toilet, extra room (with double bed and shower) and extra store.

Close to the Soi 80/Petchasem Road junction. Rent 15 000 baht/month. Price negotiable. Call Mr Eriksson: 084 878 3495 busy bar for sale in Soi Selekam. 1.8m baht negotiable, 25k per month rent paid to June 2014. 2 rooms upstairs, everything included. Key money every 3 years 300k. Call Phillipe 088 401 2788 wanted guesthouse/hotel within 400m of beach near central Hua Hin. Call 081 817 3000

SERVICES Tired of paying 20000 to renew UK retirement visa?

Call 081 466 1875

Wanted 4 law offices vanish in Pattaya. The owner of these offices is now apparently in Cha Am. Maybe you have some unfinished business with her company. “I KNOW I HAVE” Let’s get together. Maybe we can help each other.

Call Phil: 0871-300424

Employment

14

Staff wanted feMale waitress staff wanted full training given; MUST HAVE A BRAIN!! Email info@ buffalobillshuahin.com or call 080 727 4710 Staff wanted: Full time restaurant service staff, good behavior, basic English is required. Experince in service is an advantage. Good salary, bonus and gratifications.

Management trainee for restaurant service. Experience in restaurant service, good spoken and written English, experience In restaurant management is required. Full training will be provided.Full or half time office staff.

Basic experience with Windows office, organization is an advantage. Good English is required. Cleaner, one day a week 8 hours. Basic English is an advantage. Salary THB 600 – 800 / day.Please contact: K. Nuch 089 742 58 25 or 032 530 067 staff wanted. Friendly Locals Bar Soi 88 please Call 032511825 or 0854290378 guesthouse requires staff - maid, daytime and nighttime staff and security guard. Please call 081 817 3000 or 087 155 6115

General Capsule coffee machine for sale. Model Nespresso. Unused price 6,000 Baht including 20 caps.

Call 084 893 5164 Dimi Kingsize Teak bed and mattress. Old teak wood king size bed with Serta mattress (very comfortable) Bed cost 10,000 Baht 12 years ago, mattress cost 14,000 2 years ago. For sale at 10,000 Baht. Pls call Lorraine on 085 291 8685 for more details.

2 Double glass door fridges. 10,000 baht each. 2 Refrigerated cake / deli cases in new condition. 1 at 20,000 baht. 1 at 30,000 baht or 40,000 for both. 1 stainless steel fridge/freezer at 10,000 baht. 1 stainless

Placing a classified with AWOL

All adverts are free except adverts for Property For Rent or Sale, Business or Services and Auto.

Free ads will be included for at least four weeks automatically. Please use our online Classifieds to enhance your chances of a successful ad.

Option 1: register or log in at www. awolonline.net/classifieds and place your advert there; Option 2: email to classifieds@ awolonline.net; Option 3: write the details clearly in BLOCK capitals on paper and deliver to staff at All Nations Hua Hin, Dechanuchit Road.

The deadline for guaranteed inclusion in that week’s issue is 6pm on Tuesday. Please notify us if your advert is no longer needed.

Business and Services

Rates: Up to 50 words: 500 baht for 4 issues, 1000 baht for 13 issues. Additional words charged at 20 baht per word.

Example: 60 words charged at 500 plus (10 x 20)=700 baht for 4 issues, or 1000 plus (10 x 20)=1200 for 13 issues.

Please note that paid ads placed online can have up to 750 words and 3 images depending on which plan is selected.

Auto

Rates: Items priced up to 10,000 baht, 13 issues for 500 baht. Items priced over 10,000 baht, 13 issues for 1000 baht. Maximum 50 words for all ads; unpriced items pay the higher rate.

property for sale or rent

OPTION 1: fixed fee and/or commission deal with ads in the paper, online and at the Lucky Real Estate office.

Contact property@awolonline.net or realestate@luckyhuahin.com for details.

OPTION 2: printed classified only; Rates: Same as for Business and Services above.

(Please note that you must use Option 1 to feature on our website).

Contact classifieds@awolonline.net for further information or to place an advert.

grill at 5,000 baht. 3 stainless steel tables assorted sizes. 1 deep freezer at 4,000 baht. Call for more info.

098-484-9833 Hitachi Water Pump GX Series WT-P 100GX2 Only 4 weeks old New price 5200B only 1 month old Sell for 2500B. Hua Hin Second Hand Shop Call 083 692 8050 Hua Hin Second Hand shop 8 x Rainmaker showers brand new still in box, new price 5800b, sell 3000b. 1 x Toshiba 140L Fridge new in box, new price 5800b sell for 3500b. 8 x Vanity sink big size new price 7000b + Kudos 2 way tap 999b sell for 3500b each. 1 x rock sauna new never used needs assembly new price 90,000b sell for 40,000b. All items left over from building project. Many other items available. Call 083 692 8050 NEW MANGO KING Teak Beds (2) - still in factory wrapping. Cost 45k will sell both for 30k (or nearest offer) or 18k individually. Soi 88 - Call Kan or Patrick on 087 712 4630 2 refrigerated deli cases in new condition. 65,000 for both. call for more info. 098-484-9833

General - sports pool table for sale at 20,000 baht. Call for more info. 098-484-9833 Lakeview Membership, for sale - (access to 4 x 18 hole courses) 99,000 baht to include the 13,000 transfer fee. The membership expires on 01/2023. My contact tel number is 0867294749.

auto: 3 wheels & LESS honda steed 400cc black 110,000 baht ono including green book. Good condition, taxed. Call Andy on 086 049 3358 (Eng) or Golf 089 939 5569 (Thai) Yamaha fino blue and white 20 months old 7,800 km 25,000 baht. Call 081 817 3000

auto: 4 wheels pluS MERCEDES-BENZ C63 AMG Coupe-2012 metallic black, black/porcelain two-tone leather, only 20,000 km.

Full M-B service history (TST Hua Hin) and registration.

Certificated Remap upgrade (by DMS-UK)-power up from 457 to 520 BHP-torque up from 442 to 486 LB/FT AMG speedshift MCT 7-speed auti gearbox. 19” black multi-spoke alloy wheels, carbon fibre trim. Premium plus package incl Comand Navigation (all S.E. Asia). Full options specification. Cost new 9m Baht, For Sale only 5.3m Baht. Tel: Nu (Thai) 083 314 0497, Craig (Eng) 081 193 6230 Mitsubishi pajero sport 2.5 diesel 4 year old full service history at main dealer black with beige interior sat nav 20 inch lenso wheels with 4 new tyres 650,000 baht. Phone 089 915 6369 or 086 170 8720

Sell it fast with AWOL Classifieds

Advertise here from only 40 baht per week

SALES AND RENTALS

NEW DEVELOPMENTS - PRE-OWNED HOMES CONDOS & APARTMENTS - VILLAS & HOUSES RESORTS - BUSINESSES - LAND Contact: Tel.: 082 298 0500 E-mail: realestate@luckyhuahin.com Website: luckyhuahin.com Property for sale best sea view condo in Khao Takiab for sale. 63.5 sqm, corner unit, 2 bed, 2 bath, with unobstructed sea and golf course view. See pictures on www.409bvv.weebly.com, Price 6.7 m baht. Contact owner on 086 166 9880 or email via website. large bungalow near town centre; 4.5m baht. Go to www.awolonline.net/property or luckyhuahin.com or call 089 530 8771 for details.

POOL VILLAS on small development at great prices in Hua Hin; from 3.49m baht. Go to luckyhuahin.com or call 089 530 8771 for details. beautiful new houses on quiet project;from 3m baht. Go to luckyhuahin.com or call 089 530 8771 for details. two bed apartments in Hua Hin with great facilities; 3.2m baht. Go to www. awolonline.net/property or luckyhuahin.com or call 089 530 8771 for details.

Fully furnished villa 3 bed off Canal Road; 5.7m baht. Go to www.awolonline.net/ property or luckyhuahin.com or call 089 530 8771 for details. european style villa, 3 bed, 2 bath between Hua Hin and Cha Am; 5.2m baht. Go to www.awolonline.net/property or luckyhuahin.com or call 089 530 8771 for details. large house/land near Palm Hills, 4 bed; 4.5m baht.Go to www.awolonline.net/ property or luckyhuahin.com or call 089 530 8771 for details. stunning L shaped Borfai bungalow; 9.9m baht. Go to www.awolonline.net/property or luckyhuahin.com or call 089 530 8771 for details.

Property wanted long term rental properties wanted, particularly pool villas in good areas. Please contact Lucky Real Estate on 089 530 8771 or realestate@luckyhuahin.com

commercial property centrally located guesthouse for sale. Please contact 089 530 8771 for details. sunrise coast commercial properties - we have a variety of land, resorts and other commercial opportunities available in the Bang Saphan area. Contact 089 530 8771 for details.

property for Rent lovely House for rent on Palm Hills golf course; 20,000 baht per month (min. 6 months). More details on www.luckyhuahin.com or call 089 530 8771

Hua Hin Second Hand Shop OPEN NOW We have restaurant equipment, lounges, Kitchen supplies, Bar stools, beds, drink fridges, and much more.

We are also looking to buy stock

Please call 083 692 8050 for a viewing Facebook: Huahinsecondhandshop

57/5 Baan Khontong, Hin Lek Fai.

8km from Hua Hin off the Pala-U road (3218) turn left at (1004). 300m on right. Look for the sign.

Join the AWOL forum

15

Visit www.awolonline.net

your ad here from ฿66 a week

MONEY & INFORMATION overseas calls information

16

Call 081 649 8361 Email sales@awolonline.net

Useful Numbers

REVERSE CHARGE CALLS The list below is the free number you need to call to connect to an operator of that country to request the reverse charge call.

ARGENTINA 001-999-54-1000/ 2000 AUSTRALIA 001-999-61-1000/2000 AUSTRIA 001-800-28787421 BAHRAIN 001-999-973-1000 BRUNEI 001-999-673-1000 CANADA 001-999-15-1000/2000 DENMARK 001-999-45-1000 FRANCE 001-999-33-1000 GERMANY 001-999-49-1000 HAWAII 001-800-865-8424 HONG KONG 001-999-852-1086 INDONESIA 001-999-62-1000/2000 ISRAEL 001-999-972-1000/ 2000 ITALY 001-999-39-1000 JAPAN 001-999-811-0051 KOREA 001-999-82-1000/2000/2001 MACAU 001-999-853-1000 MALAYSIA 001-999-60-1000/4000/4001 MALTA 001-999-356-1000 MEXICO 001-999-52-1000 NEPAL 001-800-977-1-9999 NETHERLANDS 001-999-31-1035 NEW ZEALAND 001-999-64-1066 PHILIPPINES 001-999-63-1000/3000/6000 PORTUGAL 001-999-351-1000 RUSSIA 001-999-7-1000 SINGAPORE 001-999-65-0000/2008 SOUTH AFRICA 001-999-27-1000 SPAIN 001-999-34-1066 TAIWAN 001-999-886-1000 U.A.E. 001-999-971-1000 U.K. 001-999-44-1066 U.S.A. 001-999-1-1111/2001/2002 AWOL would like to thank the staff at CAT in Hua Hin for providing the above numbers.

FREE CALLS If your mobile phone or device and that of the person you are calling supports it, you can use a number of apps to make free calls anywhere, with the best known being Skype and Viber. cheap calls The mobile phone operators offer special numbers to prefix an international number to get cheap rate international calls. More information call True 1331 AIS 1175 DTAC 1678

Police 191 Crime 195 Fire 199 Traffic Control Centre 197 Highway Police 1193 Tourist Police 1699 Tourist Service Centre 1155 Missing Persons 02 282 1815 Hua Hin Police Station 032 511 027 Cha-Am Police Station 032 471 321 Bangkok Hospital Hua Hin 1719 Hua Hin Hospital 032 511 743 San Paulo Hospital 032 532 576 to 585 Hua Hin Red Cross 032 512 567 Hua Hin Municipality 032 532433 Hua Hin Tessabahn 032 511 047 Hua Hin Immigration Of. 032 522 656 Hua Hin Bus Terminal (non air-con) 032 511 230 (air-con) 032 511654, 512543 Hua Hin Railway Station 032 511 073 Tourist Information 032 513 885 Hua Hin Electricity 032 512 215 Electricity Call Centre 1129 Hua Hin Water 032 511 677 TOT 032 519 000/001 TT&T 032 532 018 CAT 032 511 350 Alcholics Anonymous 0870 620 098 Narcotics Anonymous 084 314 1928

Exchange Rates (23-7-14) TT Buying rate Currency Baht US Dollar 31.65 Pound Sterling 53.89 Euro 42.51 Japanese Yen 31.03 Malaysian Ringgit 9.37 Singapore Dollar 25.38 Brunei Dollar 24.63 Chinese Yuan 5.10 Indonesian Rupiah 2.55 Indian Rupee 0.48 Korean Won 0.03 Australian Dollar 29.58 New Zealand Dollar 27.30 Swiss Franc 34.94 Danish Krone 5.70 Norwegian Krone 5.09 Swedish Krona 4.61 Canadian Dollar 29.31 UAE Dirham 7.07 Bahrain Dinar 61.15 Omani Rial 60.22 Qatar Riyal 6.96 AWOL makes no warranties, express or implied, regarding these rates and shall not be liable for any losses or damages incurred in connection with them.

Local radio hua hin skyweb 98.25 FM and online at www. huahinskywebradio.com featuring English DJ.Phil Keekuee from 11am - 1pm and 4 - 6pm Monday to Friday and 11am - 2pm and 3 - 6pm Saturdays

cryptic Crossword Solution

Local Consular Representatives CANADIAN Rick Pomerleau 087 153 3817 or e-mail on rickpomerleau@hotmail.com FINNISH Mr. Sipi Siljamaeki 087-911 8119 or e-mail: suthiporn.siljamaki@gmail.com AMERICAN Mr. Christopher Byrd 081-173 4469 or e-mail: chrs@tourdeasia.org

Sell it fast with AWOL Classifieds

Advertise here from only 40 baht per week

to hull

and back

Mags Meanderings: From Som Tam To Mushy Peas

war - what is it good for?

This coming Monday - July 28th - marks the 100th anniversary of the start of World War 1. So called because it was the first ‘global’ war.

You’ve probably found it hard to avoid media coverage of this landmark anniversary, with articles, photos, and TV programmes about the Great War wherever you look. Some may find it all becoming a bit tedious, and I must admit to not avidly reading or watching much of it myself. Not out of any lack of respect for those who fought and died. Far from it. Many of us, even now a hundred years on, don’t have to search far back in our family trees to find the names of grandparents, great grandparents, and other family members who believed that they were giving their lives for their country.

It’s just that the whole thing is beginning to feel more like a celebration than a rememberance, but one which was punctuated just last week by a stark reminder that the world really doesn’t seem to have moved on much during the intervening years.

Alongside all the no doubt well meaning initiatives certainly in the UK anyway - to ensure that our young people learn about the Great War - comes a sickening attack on an airliner full of innocent people. Then of course there are other ongoing conflicts, with Gaza and Israel occupying most front pages most of the time.

Surely these are the real time events, along with 7/11 and other atrocities, which will leave lasting impressions on todays’ young people, rather than what happened 100 years ago?

Moving on to August 6th comes another stark reminder of war, with the 69th anniversary of the dropping of an atom bomb on Hiroshima. (By the way, isn’t it strange how that event is always referred to as ‘the dropping of the atom bomb’ rather than ‘the atomic destruction’ of Hiroshima? Almost as if it were simply an experiment - which I suppose it was. But isn’t it time someone acknowledged that they had a pretty good idea what would happen?)

Against all the odds though Hiroshima moves on, and spreads the word of peace via its’ trees. Which brings

Cheap room for rent from just 350 baht

0915094729 Th/Eng 0805626735 Swe/Eng

Soi 94 (1st left after 7-11)

us to our word of the week, or rather two words, which happen to be in Japanese. (OK - you can’t blame me for not trying!)

‘Hibaku Jumoko’ means ‘survivor tree’. Despite the atom bomb, in the following Spring some of Hiroshimas’ trees began to grow again out of the devastation.

Of those survivors about 170 trees, which grow within a 2 kilometre radius of the bombs’ epicentre, are now classed as Hibaku Jumoko, and saplings produced from them are sent around the world to any town or city which wants to display a real living testament to survival and hope for the future.

17

Disclaimer

All articles are published in good faith and based on information available to us at publication. Some articles are satire or ‘spoof’ stories intended as humour.

No responsibility is accepted other than that stipulated by law.

Although the information in this publication has been obtained from sources believed to be reliable, AWOL cannot guarantee accuracy in all cases. Any opinions expressed are those of the contributor and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher.

All materials copyright. All rights reserved and no part of this

Dream Guesthouse

publication may be reproduced in part or in full without the previous written consent of the publisher. Neither can any part be stored in a retrieval situation, nor transmitted by electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or any other means.

AWOL is printed by Petchpoom Printing, and we can be contacted on info@awolonline.net or 081 614 8728. Please send any other communications to Mrs Chukamol James, Managing Director, AWOL Co. Ltd., 136/229 Emerald Hill, Soi 6, Mooban Borfai, Hua Hin, Prachuap Kiri Khan, 7110, THAILAND.

Join the AWOL forum

Visit www.awolonline.net

balloon chasers

English & Thai lessons, Visas & Translations

Get an insight to the happenings in and around the area

032 470 681 or 081 846 9193

Parties, special deals, regular events, celebrations and more; to get it in AWOL email info@awolonline.net. recently added and coming soon the fat cat, Naresdamri Road; Live Jazz every day (except Sunday) from 7 to 9 pm. Old songs played on cornet and double bass, plus special jazz food menu.

Regular Events Baan Silapin artist village, Pala U Road; Jazz Jam Session every Sunday from 7pm.

Bobby’s Bar, Soi 102.; Free Bar B Que every Friday from 5pm. when spend 180 bt. Sunday Roast - spend 200 baht on drinks and get it free!. British Breakfast all day, Only 99 bt.

Captain Dougs, Khao Takiab; Every Friday from 7pm BBQ plus a beer just 300 baht.

DIZZY DOLPHIN, Soi Samorphong; Happy Hour every day from 1 - 6pm - Samsong + mixer 40 baht, Wine 55 baht, large domestic beers 65 baht just like mom’s, Soi Wat Khao Noi (near Dinosaur Market); everyday different daily special 110 baht - with mash,vegetable and dinner roll. Breakfasts from 8.30am. the office, Pala-U Rd; Happy hour every day 2 - 7pm, beer & wine from 50 baht, spirits 60 baht smor spa village, Khao Takiab; Every other Saturday from 7pm Indian Buffet Dinner plus live music - all you can eat for 350 baht; reservations 032 536 800 Sunset Boulevard, Khao Takiab; Periodic Tuesday

all video fun pub quiz. Food available. Bookings recommended. Call Mike 084 376 9438.

TK Roadhouse, Khao Takiab; Monthly Pub Quiz; Pie & A Beer 150 THB special during the football.

Uncle Bryn’s (2km past Palm Hills north along klong road. Turn left and 200m on left.); Large Chang 53 baht, large Leo 55 baht. Open daily 7am-10pm. 085 405 6976 (T) 080 197 2072(E) urban fuzion, Soi 61; Happy hour every day 3 to 8pm; Beer Buckets - 5 local beers 350 baht; Daily specials.

British style Sunday Roasts: Bobby’s Bar, Soi 102 ChaAam Pub & Restaurant Coco Beach Club, Naresdamri Road (reservations, call 032 908080 after 4.30pm) Hua Hin Miss You, Soi 80 Jungle Juice, Soi Selekam Lin’s Cafe, Phetkasem Road between Sois 80/78 Palm Bistro, Soi 88 (032 828144) Seajays Resort, off Pala-U Road. 083 311 1787 Ye Olde Buffalo Tavern, Chomsin Rd Zab Wer, Soi 112.

Under offer from

18

Bars / Pubs Telephone Bobby’s Bar 089 985 7473 Lucky Shot 086 178 1550 Montri Railway Tavern 085 429 0378 The Office 084 781 3446 accommodation All Nations Guesthouse Dream Guesthouse Victor Guesthouse

Telephone 032 512747 080 562 6735 032 511564

Services and other Telephone CN Pool Service 081 572 3996 Easy Car Rental 086 166 9880 Helen Couldrey - Finance 086 088 2127 Hua Hin Second Hand Shop 083 692 8050 Insight English 032 470 681 Nang’s Artyard 087 047 7125 P.S. Legal Group (Cha Am) 032 890156 Siam Consulting Insurance 032 512075 sports and leisure Chess Club The Dartman Go Kart Hua Hin

Telephone 092 659 5305 087 155 7737 032 547 199

Restaurants / Food All In Hua Hin British Breakfast Foods Buffalo Tavern Hua Hin Ham & Bacon Let’s Eat Lin’s Café Restaurant Cajutan S & S Indian Restaurant The Fat Cat

Telephone 032 530067 087 155 7737 032 530087 032 513144 082 248 0345 089 797 1502 032 532779 081 455 5298 086 206 2455

Property Hot Property Lucky Real Estate Sopha Land and Houses

Telephone 032 533 533 082 298 0500 083 324 0907

Sell it fast with AWOL Classifieds

Advertise here from only 40 baht per week

HUA HIN GOLF Butterfly Rock Golf society

RESULTS 21st July 2014 Lake View AB Stableford 19 entered 1st Mick Court 42 pts (21) 2nd Nook Tanapongphiphit 41 pts (28) 3rd Geoff G Batt-Rawden 39 pts (07) 4th Gary Engleman 38 pts (16) 18th July 2014 Lake View AB Single Stableford Yellow Tees 6 entered 1st Ben Krahe 36 pts (05) 2nd Timo Ripatti 33 pts (07) 3rd Geoff G Batt-Rawden 31 pts (07) 4th Frank Hailstones 30 pts (12)

Hua Hin Golf Society

lake view members club

Results 22nd July 2014 Majestic A - B Stableford 32 entered 1st Kari- Matti Mannikko 38 pts (07) 2nd Eric Taylor 37 pts (17) 3rd Enrico Carosi 36 pts (18) 4th Terry Burge 35 pts (18) 18th July 2014 Kaeng Krachan M - V Stableford 13 entered 1st Daniel Bechu 39 pts (07) 2nd Neil Henderson 33 pts (07) 3rd Peter Good 31 pts (23) 4th Robert Darlow 31 pts (14)

16th July 2014 Springfield B/C Single Stableford 21 entered 1st Richard Hooi 36 pts (12) 2nd Perry Hill 35 pts (12) 3rd Steve Reeves 34 pts (14) 4th Nook Tanapongphiphit 32 pts (28)

forthcoming fixtures 29th July 2014 Black Mountain Captain’s Day - 2 Tee Start 1st August 2014 Palm Hills Stableford

Upcoming Fixtures 28th July 2014 Lakeview CD Stableford 30th July 2014 Black Mountain Stableford 1st August 2014 T.B.A

Held every Friday at Palm Hills. Thanks to Robin Heath for organising and results. Due to low attendance currently no results will be available for the forseeable future - please contact Robin on robinaston@hotmail.com if you are interested in playing.

majestic creek members club

robin’s roll up

18th July 2014 No Competition 21st July 2014 AB Stableford 1st Andrew Dickson (5) 37 pts 2nd Craig Miller (5) 36 pts 3rd Michael O’Brien (15) 35 pts 4th Steve O’Brien (13) 29 pts 23rd July 2014 AB 3-Ball Team Scramble 1st Craig Miller, Chris Roper & Steve O’Brien 64 (3.9) 60.1 net 2nd Andrew Dickson, Jan Fridberg & Michael O’Brien 71 (5.25) 65.75 net FIXTURES Lake View every Monday, Wednesday, Friday cha am golf club

Contact: secretary@chaamgolfclub.com FIXTURES 30th July 2014 Friendly game

17th july 2014 Monthly Team Competition 15 teams 1st R. Denyer, J. Baker, M. Edwards 89 points 2nd H. Maldonado, J. Marot, O. Egli 87 points 3rd N. Guest, L. Hultquist, T. Tucker 83 points

cryptic crossword Across 8 A fitting instrument - for a player on foot? (8) 9 Land suitable for growing horse getting large outside (6) 10 Free port is base for people making undue gains (10) 11 Meaty parts for bad actors (4) 12 Book a flight (6) 14 People whose function is to certify not sign (8) 15 Servile son, first prodigal (7) 17 Last offer (4,3) 20 Many - an odd few - about one (An example of metamorphosis) (4,4) 22 Quietly humorous publicity for nymphs (6) 24 Star, for example, seen in Virginia (4) 25 Some turned out to be phenomenal (10) 27 Like bird behind boat (6) 28 Arrangements of points in space and time in elastic form (8)

The solution is on page 16

Join the AWOL forum

Down 1 Owner of magic hammer and tool chest (6) 2 Grouse meat (4) 3 Study trials and struggles (8) 4 Hospital doctors bury bridge partners (7) 5 Dog fish on film (6) 6 Pop festival after shady deal?

(7,3) 7 Complaint about beam thrown by a torch (8) 13 Hindu god said to be rendered desolate (10) 16 Kingly ones seemingly content with submerged land (8) 18 Scraps for strange people with empty tins (8) 19 Several variety shows (7) 21 At home nurse may be mean (6) 23 Put out by act that’s not new (6) 26 Advice for the hesitant: get an old Dutch coin (4)

19

Visit www.awolonline.net

hua hin khao takiab super Pool League

results Week 21 17th July 2014 Bokey Bar 9 - 10 Beach Hut Dolphin Bar 7 - 12 Maria Bar Jungle Juice 10 - 9 Bobby’s Birds Muan Bar 1 7 - 12 JNB Bar Somatch (3D + 1) Bar v Sasa Bar n/a TK Roadhouse 7 - 12 Muan Bar 2

results Week 27 18th July 2014 Chill Out 7 - 1 Pa’s Beer Garden Dolphin Bar 2 5 - 3 Hua Hin Miss You JW Black 5 - 3 Clansmen Lucky Shot A 8 - 0 Dolphin Bar 1 Maria Bar 1 6 - 2 Jaew Bar Oasis 6 - 2 Lord Webb 1 Rockets 1 - 7 Maria Bar 2 Sunset Boulevard 4 - 4 TK Roadhouse

League Table Team Dolphin Bar Maria Bar Muan Bar 2 Beach Hut Bobby’s Birds Jungle Juice TK Roadhouse Somatch Bar Muan Bar 1 JNB Bar Sasa Bar Bokey Bar

P 21 21 21 21 21 21 21 20 21 21 20 21

W 18 17 16 13 13 12 9 7 7 6 6 1

L 3 4 5 8 8 9 12 13 14 15 14 20

+/111 111 83 27 25 7 -13 -32 -59 -61 -64 -135

Pts 255 255 241 213 212 203 193 174 170 169 158 132

Fixtures The season finished on 24th July - results and final table in next week’s AWOL.

results Week 8 17th July 2014 Butterfly Bar 2 2 - 4 Birdy Bar Cha Cha Bar2 6 - 0 69-Sixtynine Bar My Bar 3 - 3 Butterfly Bar 1 Pim Bar 3 - 3 Cha Cha Bar1 League tablE Team Pim Bar Cha Cha Bar1 Birdy Bar Butterfly Bar 2 My Bar Cha Cha Bar2 Sixtynine Bar Butterfly Bar 1

P 8 8 7 7 7 7 7 7

W 5 5 4 3 2 1 1 1

D 3 2 1 1 2 2 2 1

L +/- Pts 0 18 13 1 12 12 2 8 9 3 -2 7 3 -4 6 4 -10 4 4 -14 4 5 -8 3

FIXTURES Week 10 31st July 2014 Butterfly Bar 1 v 69-Sixtynine Bar Cha Cha Bar2 v Butterfly Bar 2 My Bar v Cha Cha Bar1 Pim Bar v Birdy Bar

Hua Hin’s only pool bar with FOUR 9’ tables Ask about our drinks specials and other special offers Contact Andy on 086 178 1550 Email: aknabe@gmx.net 27/3 Poolsuk Road, Hua Hin

League Table Team Dolphin Bar 2 Lucky Shot A Maria Bar 2 Maria Bar 1 Oasis JW Black Dolphin Bar 1 Chill Out Lord Webb 1 TK Roadhouse Pa’s Beer Grdn Sunset B’vard Jaew Bar Rockets Clansmen HHin Miss You

P 27 27 26 27 26 27 27 27 27 27 27 26 27 27 27 26

W 24 22 16 16 15 13 12 9 10 9 7 5 4 4 2 3

D 1 1 7 7 5 9 4 7 5 6 7 7 8 5 5 2

L 2 4 3 4 6 5 11 11 12 12 13 14 15 18 20 21

+/- Pts 84 49 102 45 64 39 60 39 48 35 32 35 -4 28 -6 25 -20 25 -16 24 -36 21 -42 17 -56 16 -62 13 -66 9 -82 8

fixtures Week 28 25th July 2014 Dolphin Bar 1 v Chill Out Hua Hin Miss You v Oasis Jaew Bar v Sunset Boulevard Lord Webb 1 v JW Black Maria Bar 1 v Rockets Maria Bar 2 v Clansmen Pa’s Beer Garden v Dolphin Bar 2 TK Roadhouse v Lucky Shot A

cha am POOL LEAGUE

20

LUCKY SHOT BAR

Hua Hin Pool Billiard League

Week 29 1st August 2014 Chill Out v Rockets Clansmen v Pa’s Beer Garden Dolphin Bar 2 v Jaew Bar JW Black v Dolphin Bar 1 Lord Webb 1 v Hua Hin Miss You Lucky Shot A v Maria Bar 1 Maria Bar 2 v Sunset Boulevard Oasis v TK Roadhouse

thursday friendly Pool League

results Week 25 17th July 2014 Hut Bar 11 - 7 Squealing Pig JJ Sports Bar 14 - 4 Hua Hin Miss You Jaew Bar 6 - 12 Dara Bar Lanla Bar 8 - 10 Clansmen Maria’s 14 - 4 Casanova’s Monicas 5 - 13 555 HaHaHa Pistol Petes 14 - 4 Sinatras No fixture - Railway Tavern League Table Team 555 HaHaHa Clansmen Maria’s Lanla Bar JJ Sports Bar Pistol Petes Monicas Hut Bar Jaew Bar Dara Bar Squealing Pig Railway Tavern H Hin Miss You Casanova’s Sinatras

P 24 24 23 23 23 23 23 23 23 23 24 23 23 24 24

W 20 18 18 15 13 11 10 9 9 7 8 6 4 5 3

D 3 4 2 1 3 1 3 3 3 4 1 2 4 2 2

L 1 2 3 7 7 11 10 11 11 12 15 15 15 17 19

+/122 94 100 70 44 24 -18 -20 -28 -32 -24 -62 -72 -82 -116

Fixtures Week 27 31st July 2014 Jaew Bar v Hut Bar JJ Sports Bar v Squealing Pig Lanla Bar v Hua Hin Miss You Maria’s v Dara Bar Monicas v Clansmen Pistol Petes v Casanova’s Railway Tavern v 555 HaHaHa No fixture - Sinatras

Sell it fast with AWOL Classifieds

Pts 43 40 38 31 29 23 23 21 21 18 17 14 12 12 8

Advertise here from only 40 baht per week

HUA HIN social POOL LEAGUE

hua hin/khao takiab Fun Pool League

results - division 1 Week 14 23rd July 2014 Beach Hut Bar 9 - 9 Muan Bar Jaew Bar 5 - 13 Sunset Boulevard Maria’s Bar 13 - 5 Clansman TK Roadhouse 6 - 12 JJ Sports Bar

results - division 2 Week 14 23rd July 2014 Aussie Bar 8 - 10 TK Roadies Bobby’s Beauties 13 - 5 Casanova’s Pistol Pete’s 9 - 9 Dara’s Bar The Bridge 4 - 14 Bobby’s Bangers

League Table - division 1 Team Maria’s Bar JJ Sports Bar Sunset B’vard TK Roadhouse Muan Bar Clansman Beach Hut Bar Jaew Bar

P 14 14 14 14 14 14 14 14

W 12 10 7 6 5 4 2 0

D L 2 0 3 1 3 4 2 6 3 6 3 7 3 9 1 13

League Table - division 2 +/62 64 26 8 -10 -12 -38 -100

Pts 26 23 17 14 13 11 7 1

Fixtures - division 1 Week 15 30th July 2014 Beach Hut Bar v TK Roadhouse Jaew Bar v JJ Sports Bar Muan Bar v Clansman Sunset Boulevard v Maria’s Bar

Team Bobbys B’ties Pistol Pete’s Dara’s Bar Bobbys Bngers TK Roadies Casanova’s Aussie Bar The Bridge

P 14 14 14 14 14 14 14 14

W 11 8 7 7 7 5 2 1

D L +/- Pts 2 1 66 24 2 4 10 18 4 3 8 18 2 5 32 16 2 5 6 16 0 9 -24 10 1 11 -40 5 3 10 -58 5

Fixtures - division 2 Week 15 30th July 2014 Aussie Bar v Dara’s Bar Bobby’s Beauties v Bobby’s Bangers Casanova’s v Pistol Pete’s TK Roadies v The Bridge

hua hin/kao takiab ladies Pool League

results Week 3 21st July 2014 JNB Bar 6 - 6 The Squealing Pig Jaew Bar 5 - 7 Dara Bar Monicas 3 - 9 The Clansmen Muan Bar 8 - 4 Sunset Boulevard Pistol Pete’s 7 - 5 Somatch (3D+1) Bar Railway Tavern 9 - 3 Salute Bar Sa Sa Bar 8 - 4 TK Roadhouse Fixtures Week 4 28th July 2014 Bobby’s Birds v JNB Bar Dara Bar v JJ Sports Bar Salute Bar v Sa Sa Bar Somatch (3D+1) Bar v Railway Tavern Sunset Boulevard v Pistol Pete’s The Clansmen v Muan Bar The Squealing Pig v Monicas TK Roadhouse v Jaew Bar

League Table Team P W D The Clansmen 3 3 0 Muan Bar 3 3 0 Sa Sa Bar 3 3 0 Bobby’s Birds 2 2 0 Dara Bar 3 2 0 Pistol Pete’s 3 2 0 Squealing Pig 3 1 1 JNB Bar 3 1 1 Monicas 3 1 1 Railway Tavern 3 1 0 Jaew Bar 3 1 0 TK Roadhouse 3 1 0 Sunset B’vard 3 0 1 Salute Bar 3 0 0 Somatch Bar 3 0 0 JJ Sports Bar 2 0 0

L 0 0 0 0 1 1 1 1 1 2 2 2 2 3 3 2

+/- Pts 18 6 12 6 8 6 8 4 4 4 2 4 4 3 -2 3 -2 3 2 2 -6 2 -6 2 -8 1 -10 0 -12 0 -12 0

Join the AWOL forum

results Week 21 23rd July 2014 JW Red 10 - 9 All Nations GH Jungle Juice B 11 - 8 Billys A King Bar A 13 - 6 Jungle Juice A Limelight 11 - 8 Buckleys Sabai 10 - 9 JW Black Tiger Bar 7 - 12 Pink Panther League Table Team Buckleys Limelight Jungle Juice B King Bar A Pink Panther Sabai JW Red Tiger Bar All Nations GH JW Black Billys A Jungle Juice A

P 21 21 21 20 21 21 21 21 21 20 20 20

W 18 17 14 14 12 12 9 7 6 6 5 4

L 3 4 7 6 9 9 12 14 15 14 15 16

+/- Pts 105 36 63 34 33 28 28 28 23 24 7 24 -21 18 -45 14 -35 12 -40 12 -44 10 -74 8

Fixtures Week 22 30th July 2014 All Nations GH v Tiger Bar Billys A v JW Red Buckleys v Jungle Juice B Jungle Juice A v Limelight JW Black v King Bar A Pink Panther v Sabai

GET NOTICED! An advert in AWOL is the best and cheapest way to reach your customers

21

Visit www.awolonline.net

cha am darts fun LEAGUE

HUA HIN DARTS LEAGUE

results Week 13 23rd July 2014 69Sixty-Nine v Urs Treff n/a Blue lagoon Ladies v Blue Lagoon Men n/a Lek Restaurant v Scandic Bar n/a League table Team Scandic Bar Blue Lag Men Blue lag Ladies Lek Restaurant 69Sixty-Nine Urs Treff

P 12 12 11 11 12 12

W 10 8 7 5 2 1

D 1 1 1 1 0 0

L +/- Pts 1 90 21 3 74 17 3 5 15 5 20 11 10 -120 4 11 -69 2

fixtures Week 14 30th July 2014 Blue Lagoon Men v Urs Treff Lek Restaurant v Blue lagoon Ladies Scandic Bar v 69Sixty-Nine

results Week 4 22nd July 2014 CAT Jiggapik v Jungle Juice n/a Chill Chill Bar v Johnny’s 56 n/a Hua Hin Miss You 1 v URS TREFF 2 n/a The Clansmen v Robin’s Rest n/a URS TREFF CHA AM v O’Neills n/a League table Team CAT Jiggapik URS TREFF URS TREFF 2 Jungle Juice The Clansmen O’Neills HHin Miss You 1 Robin’s Rest Johnny’s 56 Chill Chill Bar

P W D L 3 3 0 0 3 3 0 0 2 2 0 0 3 2 0 1 3 2 0 1 2 1 0 1 3 1 0 2 3 0 0 3 3 0 0 3 3 0 0 3

+/- Pts 48 6 48 6 26 4 14 4 -10 4 8 2 -10 2 -34 0 -40 0 -50 0

fixtures Week 5 29th July 2014 Johnny’s 56 v Hua Hin Miss You 1 Jungle Juice v Chill Chill Bar O’Neills v CAT Jiggapik Robin’s Rest v URS TREFF CHA AM URS TREFF CHA AM 2 v The Clansmen

hash house harriers - A drinking Club with a running and walking Problem!

22

The Cha-Am and Hua Hin Hash House Harrier Clubs meet alternate Saturdays for around an hours run/walk in the countryside followed by a social gathering. If you would like to come along then visit the new single website at http://www. h2h3-cah3.com or Facebook at www.facebook. com/H2H3CAH3 for full details and directions.

People attending and participating do so entirely at their own risk.

NEXT RUN Saturday 26th July 2014 @ 4.30 pm HUA HIN H3 Run #284 – An A to B Run Location A: Hua Hin Train Station, Google Map link: https://goo.gl/maps/lbTpU GPS Coordinates: 12.567345, 99.95477 (N 12 34.041, E 99 57.286) Location B: Terrace 90 Restaurant on Hua Hin Soi 90 From Cha-Am: https://goo.gl/maps/dio4r (Station to Terrace 90) Make your way SOUTH on Phet Kasem Road towards Hua Hin and at the second set of traffic lights after the Palace turn RIGHT and proceed to the station.

From Hua Hin: https://goo.gl/maps/dio4r (Station to Terrace 90)

Make your way to the either the train station or to Terrace 90 Restaurant located on Soi 90 and walk back to the station.

Hares: No Name Mike & Ballbanger Fees: Male Drinkers ฿200, Female Drinkers ฿150, Teetotalers ฿100, kids ฿50, under 8’s Free. Your effort to bring the CORRECT change would be very much appreciated.

Darts supplies 087 155 7737 Brisal Dartboard now available!

10% OFF FOR DARTS LEAGUE PLAYERS hua hin city F.C

RESULTS 19th july 2014 Hua Hin City 3 - 0 Seeker FIXTURES 26th july 2014 Looktabfah v Hua Hin City 18:00 Thai Division 2 Regional League Central West Region League Table TEAM Muangkan Utd Hua Hin Phetchaburi Samut Sakhon Looktabfah Krung Thonburi Singburi Ratchaphruek Thonburi City Globlex J.W. BU Nonthaburi Raj Pracha Seeker

P 17 17 17 17 17 17 17 17 17 17 17 17 17 17

W 10 10 9 7 7 7 7 6 4 4 5 3 4 4

D L GD 5 2 +14 3 4 +14 4 4 +7 6 4 +3 5 5 +6 4 6 +2 4 6 −1 6 5 +4 7 6 0 5 8 −8 2 10 −11 7 7 −5 3 10 −12 3 10 −14

PTs 35 33 31 27 26 25 25 24 19 17 17 16 15 15

Hua Hin City Football Club is the local professional team for the area formed in 2011. They currently play their home matches at the Kai Tanarat Stadium in Pranburi.

Sell it fast with AWOL Classifieds

Advertise here from only 40 baht per week

football news

Bobby’s Bar

kicked off by bobby’s bar

premier league predictor AWOL has set up a new football prediction game for the English Premier League; to play you need to be registered and logged in to the AWOL website at www.awolonline.net. You will find a link to the game on that page as well.

Both registration and the game are free - every week at least 15 minutes before the matches begin, enter your predicted score for each match and then click ‘Save’. For every exact prediction you will get 5 points, for the correct outcome, 2 points, with various other bonus points available.

Each week we will print a table showing the leading players as we do with the Fantasy League.

PRIZE SPONSORSHIP If any local business is interested in sponsoring either the Prediction or Fantasy Leagues (or both) in the form of prizes to be awarded at the end of the season, please contact us on either 081 649 8361 or sales@awolonline.net, and you can get your business featured on this page every week.

fantasy premier league The new AWOL Challenge Fantasy Premier League is now up and running - anyone who was entered last season will automatically be reentered for the new season when they log in to the game again, but for new recruits, you will need to do the following: 1. Register and log in to the official Premier League game at fantasy.premierleague.com; 2. Set up your team (name, details, pick an initial squad - this can be changed as many times as you want before the game starts); 3. Go to the AWOL website (awolonline.net) and click on ‘Fantasy Football - Click To Play’ which will automatically add your team to the AWOL Challenge; 4. Have fun playing against the growing number of budding Fergies!

There are extensive rules and help on the official site and any new managers would be well advised to read through them.

Every week we will print a table of the leading managers in the AWOL Challenge.

UNDER NEW MANAGEMENT

THE OFFICE Bar & Restaurant

on Hua Hin-Huay Mongkon Road just after La Vallee Thai & European Menu Open 2pm - Midnight Happy Hour 2 - 7pm: Beer and Wine from 50 baht Rooms for rent daily/monthly Call 084 781 3446 (Dai) or 098 479 0438 (Ross)

Join the AWOL forum

Home of the Free Sunday Roast & Free Bar B Que every Friday Call 089 985 7473

Soi 102, Hua Hin (200m on right after railway) football gossip

Manchester United manager Louis van Gaal is preparing to offer Ajax £17m for 24-yearold Netherlands defensive midfielder Daley Blind. Daily Express United are also reported to be closing in on a move for Borussia Dortmund centre-back Mats Hummels, 25, for £16m. Daily Mail Tottenham have been told they will have to pay £25m for France and Real Sociedad midfielder Antoine Griezmann, with Chelsea and Monaco also tracking the 23-year-old.

Daily Telegraph With their Champions League foreign players’ quota in mind, Manchester City are set to offload midfielder Javi Garcia, 27 after striker Alvaro Negredo, 28, broke his foot.

Daily Mirror Portuguese midfielder Tiago Mendes, 33, has rejected a possible return to Chelsea this summer in favour of re-signing with Spanish champions Atletico Madrid for another two years. Talksport PSG will side-step Fifa’s Financial Fair Play rules by offering 26-year-old winger Angel Di Maria, a target for Manchester United, a one-year loan move from Real Madrid. Daily Express Leicester want Trabzonspor’s former Chelsea winger Florent Malouda, 34, as they look to strengthen their squad for the Premier League. Daily Mirror Liverpool have accepted a £14m offer from Sunderland for striker Fabio Borini but the 23-year-old is set to reject the move and fight for his place at Anfield. Newcastle Chronicle 23

Visit www.awolonline.net

losing his bottle Van Gaal slates Ferguson’s wine cellar

manchester, england MANCHESTER United’s new boss Louis van Gaal has slammed the quality of the booze left behind by Sir Alex Ferguson.

On his first day in the job, former Holland boss van Gaal inspected the magnums, jennies and jeroboams assembled by Ferguson over 27 years, and declared them woefully substandard.

Van Gaal said: “There’s a few big-name labels here that simply aren’t pulling their weight.

“I don’t care if it’s a Chateauneuf-du-Pape or a Slovenian retsina, if its mouthfeel isn’t velvety it’s going straight down the sink.”

The Butthead lookalike went on to announce that the days of three-for-atenner deals from Morrisons were over, also declaring a moratorium on any

Above: Van Gaal (left) has repeatedly refarted suggestions that he resembles Butthead (right)...heh heh they misspelt refuted heh heh

wine that used exclamation marks in the tasting notes or had a cartoon animal on the label.

Van Gaal’s comments will fuel suspicions that Ferguson allowed the quality of

One Stop Service

United’s wines to decline in his final seasons in charge.

Rumours have also abounded that the long-serving coach secretly emptied several prize bottles of rioja before his departure, replacing them with his own blood, which has a slightly lower alcohol content.

Man United fan Tom Logan said: “I want us to buy loads of English wines even though they cost a fortune and look embarrassing when you put them next to proper European stuff.”

Van Gaal also dismissed the merits of the single bottle left behind by David Moyes, a bottle of cava put on ice in August last year and never opened.

Construction

P. S.

24

House Sales • • Legal Services Land Sales • • Visas Projects • • Work permits Permits etc.. • • Insurance GROUP Tel./Fax: 032 472589 psconsultingchaam@gmail.com • Translations 46 Netelon Road, Cha Am • Company Registrations • Travel services • Copy/Print/Fax etc

Mon - Sat. 9am to 6pm 032 890218

psonestopchaam@gmail.com 339/52 Ruamchit Road (Beach Rd.) Near Soi 5, Cha Am See also our advert on page 5

Sell it fast with AWOL Classifieds