Page 3
Your free weekly newspaper since 2008
issue 3 07 28 November 2014
Weird News Announcements Balloon Chasers Away In A Manger
rev it up Victor and go!
guesthouse open 24/7
Naresdamri Rd. opposite Brasserie de Paris
hua hin bike week celebrates ten years
hua hin, THAILAND The tenth anniversary gathering of the Hua Hin Bike Week started today at 19 Rai or Queen Sirikit Park, and continues tomorrow (Saturday 29th November), a week earlier than previous years as this year it would have directly clashed with His Majesty the King’s birthday celebrations, which take place next Friday, 5th December. On a side note, we are not publishing AWOL next Friday for the same reason, as many of the venues we normally deliver to will be closed. Hua Hin Bike Week first took place in 2005, and has been coordinated and organised every year by Khun Aod, otherwise known as the leader of the Vampire MC group. The venue for many years was the large vacant plot of land along the canal road, but in recent years they have tended to stage it at this years venue, when available. For those unfamiliar with Hua Hin, head north on the Phetkasem Road from the centre of town, and take a right into soi 35 at the traffic lights beside the King’s Palace - this road bears left and then runs parallel to the sea and the location is further along, near to the Immigration office. Hua Hin has already seen the arrival of some groups of bikers this week, and the town will be full with mean looking leather clad groups, who are mostly some of the nicest people you could hope to meet, and everyone is welcome along to the events, which will include live music, competitions and lots of rare and customised machines. Registration costs 200 baht and T-shirts featuring this year’s promotional logo will be available for 300 baht. Much of the money raised is normally given to charities and other good causes. As always, please be careful on the roads as they will be busier than normal, and please give plenty of room to bikers.
Rooms/family suites in heart of Hua Hin a/c, lcd tv, dvd player, fridge, free premium wifi, cable TV www.victorguesthousehuahin.com
GET RACING FROM ONLY 400 BAHT! OPEN EVERYDAY 10.30AM - 7PM, LATE NIGHT BY APPOINTMENT Call 032 547 199 (Office) or 081 817 3000 (Mobile) Soi 2, Phetchkasem Road opposite Hua Hin Airport
www.gokarthuahin.com
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BRIDGE KHAO TAKIAB Cross over to the friendliest bar in town!
Right fork past the police station and we are 100m further on the left over the bridge
Tel. 089 586 1700
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Live Band Every Thursday & Saturday from 7pm
BAR & RESTAURANT
BBQ, Ribs, Chops, Burgers, Snacks etc Eat In or Take Out Air con, Pool table, Draft Leo
Large domestic beers 110 baht
LIVE SPORTS TV including Premier League Football Open every day from 1pm - late
12/10 Soi Samoprong, Hua Hin Tel. 080 652 0531
HAPPY HOUR! 1 - 7pm Sangsom + mixer 40 baht Wine 55 baht Large domestic beers 65 baht
Located off the canal road north of the traffic lights; turn left at the blue bridge after the petrol station and right before the 7-11. We are about 100m up on the right.
Professional Maintenance for your Swimming Pool • • • • • • • • •
Twice weekly service (more for extra fee) Test water for correct chemical levels Add chemicals as required Clean and scrub tiles Vacuum pool/ spa Adjust water level Backwash filters Empty pump and skimmer baskets Inspect and maintain equipment Example price: 6 x 3 metre pool just 1500 baht a month Contact us NOW for a free inspection and quote for your pool or spa
Call 081 572 3996 or 086 802 5951 2
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Email info@cnpoolservice.com Website www.cnpoolservice.com
now back on tap in khao takiab at the lost cafÉ Sell it fast with AWOL Classifieds
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AWOL PAGE 3
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WEATHER
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AND TIDES World weather (28-11-14)
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CITY Amsterdam Ankara Athens Auckland Beijing Berlin Buenos Aires Cairo Chicago Copenhagen Dubai Dublin Geneva Helsinki Ho Chi Minh City Hong Kong Islamabad Jakarta Jerusalem Johannesburg Karachi Kuala Lumpur London Madrid Manila Mexico City Moscow Mumbai New Delhi New York Oslo Paris Perth Phnom-Penh Rio De Janeiro Riyadh Rome San Francisco Seoul Shanghai Singapore Stockholm Sydney Taibei/Taipei Tokyo Vancouver Vientiane Yangon Zurich
Min. Max. Weather 5 11 Overcast 1 6 Overcast 7 13 Rain 14 19 Showers -1 8 Cloudy 1 4 Cloudy 17 29 Cloudy 13 20 Mist -3 -2 Snow 4 6 Cloudy 24 28 Partly Cloudy 8 9 Bright 7 11 Showers -2 0 Fog 24 33 Thunderstorms 23 26 Partly Cloudy 9 24 Clear 23 33 Rain 7 11 Showers 15 24 Thunderstorms 17 30 Mist 25 33 Thunderstorms 9 11 Cloudy 6 13 Rain 24 31 Thunderstorms 6 22 Haze -8 -4 Snow 21 35 Fine 9 28 Fine -1 4 Snow -1 1 Overcast 9 13 Rain 16 24 Partly Cloudy 25 32 Partly Cloudy 20 27 Rain 14 25 Chance of Rain 10 19 Rain 12 19 Fine 6 15 Cloudy 12 18 Overcast 24 32 Thunderstorms -1 3 Fog 18 22 Showers 22 27 Rain 9 17 Fine 11 12 Rain 21 34 Clear 20 33 Clear 6 10 Fog
Local Forecast AND TIDES Rain Conditions Temp. °C Tides (mm) High Low High Low Saturday Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday
4 An afternoon t-storm or two 0 Variable cloudiness 0 Very warm with clouds & sun 19 A couple of showers 6 Cloudy, a little rain; humid 4 A couple of showers 0 Cloudy
33 33 33 30 29 30 30
24 24 25 24 23 23 22
10:59 02:38 11:29 03:16 11:59 03:58/ 19:45 01:09/ 12:30 04:50/ 20:22 13:00 21:00 05:09/ 13:27 09:00/ 21:38 05:57/ 13:49 10:54/ 22:15
thailand weather (27-11-14) Place Temp. Hum. Conditions Aranyaprathet 32 °C 57% Scattered Clds Bangkok 28 °C 74% Light Rain Bhumibol Dam 32 °C 52% Partly Cloudy Bua Chum 34 °C 41% Scattered Clds Chaiyaphum 33 °C 42% Scattered Clds Chanthaburi 30 °C 79% Scattered Clds Chiang Mai 30 °C 37% Partly Cloudy Chiang Rai 29 °C 42% Scattered Clds Chumphon 30 °C 74% Scattered Clds Hat Yai 30 °C 70% Mostly Cloudy Kam Paeng Phet 33 °C 52% Partly Cloudy Kanchanaburi 34 °C 44% Haze Khanom 29 °C 79% Mostly Cloudy Khlong Yai 30 °C 79% Scattered Clds Khon Kaen 33 °C 43% Scattered Clds Ko Lanta 30 °C 70% Mostly Cloudy Ko Samui 29 °C 79% Mostly Cloudy Ko Sichang 33 °C 52% Mostly Cloudy Krabi 30 °C 70% Mostly Cloudy Laemchabang 27 °C 91% Rain Lampang 31 °C 49% Clear Lamphun 34 °C 40% Partly Cloudy Loei 31 °C 55% Partly Cloudy Lop Buri 28 °C 74% Light Rain Mae Hong Son 30 °C 31% Partly Cloudy Mae Sariang 27 °C 57% Scattered Clds Mae Sot 31 °C 44% Scattered Clds Mukdahan 32 °C 46% Scattered Clds Nakhon Phanom 32 °C 46% Scattered Clds Nakhon Ratch. 35 °C 39% Partly Cloudy Nakhon Sawan 33 °C 47% Haze Nakhon Si Tham. 29 °C 79% Mostly Cloudy Nan 32 °C 33% Partly Cloudy
Place Temp. Hum. Conditions Narathiwat 29 °C 79% Mostly Cloudy Nong Khai 32 °C 55% Partly Cloudy Pattani 29 °C 79% Mostly Cloudy Pattaya 30 °C 79% Overcast Phayao 29 °C 42% Scattered Clds Phetchabun 33 °C 52% Partly Cloudy Phetchaburi 30 °C 79% Mostly Cloudy Phitsanulok 33 °C 52% Partly Cloudy Phrae 33 °C 41% Scattered Clds Phuket 30 °C 66% Mostly Cloudy Prachin Buri 28 °C 74% Light Rain Prachuap K.khan 30 °C 79% Mostly Cloudy Ranong 31 °C 67% Mostly Cloudy Rayong 29 °C 82% Overcast Roi Et 33 °C 51% Mostly Cloudy Sakon Nakhon 32 °C 46% Scattered Clds Sattahip 27 °C 84% Thunderstorm Satun 30 °C 70% Mostly Cloudy Songkhla 31 °C 84% Mostly Cloudy Suphan Buri 28 °C 74% Light Rain Surat Thani 31 °C 79% Scattered Clds Surin 34 °C 46% Scattered Clds Tak 32 °C 52% Partly Cloudy Takua Pa 30 °C 66% Mostly Cloudy Tha Tum 32 °C 64% Scattered Clds Tha Wang Pha 32 °C 33% Partly Cloudy Thong Pha Phum 33 °C 43% Haze Trang 30 °C 74% Mostly Cloudy Ubon Ratchathani 34 °C 46% Scattered Clds Udon Thani 33 °C 49% Scattered Clds Uttaradit 32 °C 52% Partly Cloudy Wichian Buri 28 °C 55% Haze
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Advertise here from only 40 baht per week Fully Licensed Restaurant Open 11am to 9pm Closed Mondays
Orchid Restaurant 94
Top Quality Thai & International Food from our Thai and Internationally Trained English Chefs Delicious Traditional Sunday Lunches
N
Every week from noon we serve Pork (290 baht) and one of Lamb or Beef (340 baht) with all the trimmings; check our Facebook page for regular updates.
Reservations Recommended on 092 357 8185
orchid rest. 94
All Day Breakfasts from 11am
s o i 9 4
Full English 170 baht, Small 130 baht
Great Value Quality Steaks
Black Angus Australian Sirloin and trimmings just 499 baht to market village
phetchkasem road to khao takiab
Daily Specials
Check our blackboard for different dishes every day 088 186 7495 (Thai) 092 357 8185 (Eng) Orchid 94 Restaurant
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Offer runs from now to end of November; prices and sizes applicable are those in the current AWOL Media Guide. Example: Quarter page ad 52 issues cost 21,000 baht (approx. 404 baht per issue) plus 4 extra issues becomes 375 baht per issue Ads must be paid for completely in advance
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Public House and restaurant
new! kepplers irish cider
on draught just 160 baht a pint Plus thatchers cider in bottles all day breakfast from 8.30am sunday roast available every day childrens menu Our rooms are currently being renovated large outside sun terrace and free WIFI www.buffalobillshuahin.com
info@buffalobillshuahin.com
Located on the corner of Chomsin/ Naresdamri rd by the fishing pier For bookings or more information call 085 291 8685, 080 727 4710 or fax 032 530087
Call 082 298 0500 or 081 649 8361 Property Email realestate@luckyhuahin.com or property@awolonline.net Marketplace gated community with great facilities
Price: from 2.7m baht
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Ref No. 032583
beautiful land in west hua hin
Price: 1.5 m baht
Contact owner on 088 894 6100
1 rai (1600sq m) Tab Tai area Mountain views 16km to town Overlooking stream Dual access front and back to public roads
Underground utilities Private pool 8km from town 2, 3 or 4 bedrooms Living: from 91 sqm Land: from 300 sqm
new pool villas in south hua hin
Price: from 3.9 m baht for 2 bed to 6.8 m baht for 3 bed Ref No. 032553
peaceful 3 bed villa in s/w hua hin
Price: 9.3 m baht
7 design options Sun Roof Decks Easy access to town Full Air Con Packs Clubhouse 24 hour security
Sell it fast with AWOL Classifieds
Ref No. 032582
Euro fitted kitchen Private pool Convenient location 3 bedrooms Separate Annexe Land: 600 sqm
Advertise here from only 40 baht per week
Bobby’s British Breakfast Foods UK Sausages, Ham, Bacon, Pies, Teas etc.
SERVED UP BY...
Call 087 155 7737 or 089 985 7473
A section for all you budding etymologists where each week the origin of a word or phrase is investigated. There is another suggestion, that it was first rabbits This week it is..... Go like the clappers that ‘ran like the clappers’. This notion comes from Go very fast; in a vigorous manner. This term isn’t common outside of the United Kingdom, the French word for a rabbit hole - clapier, which and is now considered rather archaic even there. It was adapted into English as clapper. Rabbit burrows, originated around the time of WWII as RAF slang. The especially those that were constructed in order to earliest citation I can find is from a 1942 newspaper breed semi-tame rabbits, (or conies, as they were then piece by Associated News staff Writer Alfred Wall, in called) were called clappers. This was known in the 15th century; for example, from the romantic poem Roman which he listed various RAF slang terms: “A pilot chased by the enemy ‘goes like the clappers’, de la Rose, 1405: “Conies... That comen out of her claperes.” or full out”. What ‘the clappers’ refers to isn’t entirely clear, although The proposal has two significant flaws. Firstly, the phrase by far the most likely derivation is as a reference to the and the meaning don’t match. Rabbit would have ‘run clappers of bells. An early form of the phrase was ‘go like from the clappers’, not ‘run like the clappers’. Secondly, the clappers of hell’ and, given that bells have clappers, the ‘rabbit-burrow’ meaning has long been archaic and it may be that it may that the rhyme of hell and bell is unused. The most recent example of its conversational significant. RAF pilots were often from English public use that can be found in print is from 1725, although schools where the ringing of handbells to mark the time there are still some place names that derived from this was common. Bells were rung more vigorously as the source - for example Sharpenhoe Clappers in the English time remaining to get to class/chapel etc. was about to Chilterns.. The phrase originated in the RAF in the mid run out. The image of schoolboys dashing to class while 20th century - long after clapper meant something else handbells were being energetically rung matches the entirely. meaning of the phrase very well.
EVERY ADVERT IN AWOL IS SEEN BY UP TO 4000 people, online and in print every week
********** In 2013 the AWOL website had an average of over 2,000 unique visitors a week
Terrace 90
Open: 2pm - 10pm (Last order at 9.30pm) From 1 Dec. Open 11am for Lunch
• Authentic BBQ St. Louis Ribs and Tex Mex • Great Margaritas and Cocktails • Imported and Local Beers • Lamb Chops and Steaks from the Grill Check Facebook and our Website for Specials E-mail: terrace90@gmail.com
Website: www.Terrace90.com
https://th-th.facebook.com/terrace90 Most Major Credit 032 516 587 Cards Accepted 250/133 Soi 90, Hua Hin 24th & 25th December
Christmas Eve 6pm Christmas Day 12pm & 6:30pm Buffet 999 baht under 12s 450 baht
Roast Leg of Lamb Roast US Butterball Turkey Baked Honey Ham Roast Beef Sage Stuffing Cranberries Brussel Sprouts Large range of Desserts including Christmas Pudding Full Menu www.terrace90.com
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All You Care To Eat Buffet Returns Every Tuesday from 2 Dec at 6pm With BBQ, Roasts, Pasta, Salads, Soups, Fresh Baked Bread and Dessert plus so much more 399 Baht, Children 250 Baht Book Your Holiday Now; Party in Our Private Upstairs Terrace. Book Early To Reserve Your Date. We build the Buffet to fit your group and budget.
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AWOL Sudoku
Dream
solve your dining puzzles at dream restaurant & bar
Restaurant & Bar
Soi 88 (just up from Stand Online) Buffet on Fridays just 279 baht Swedish/Thai/European Food
Puzzle 2
Puzzle 1
Last issue’s solutions
0915094729 Th/Eng 0805626735 Swe/Eng
Puzzle 2 (Hard)
Puzzle 1 (Easy)
Each week we have an easy and a hard Sudoku puzzle. Just fill in the empty squares so that each horizontal and vertical line, and each section, has all the numbers 1 to 9.
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EXPAT INSURANCE SOLUTIONS Health (up to 85), Car, Motorbike, House, Commercial. Full medical cover for expats worldwide Travel insurance specialist (including as required for Schenghen visas) Soi 94, last unit on left before railway
085 962 2232 or 032 512075 franckracinesiamconsulting@gmail.com www.siam-consulting.asia www.asiaexpatinsurance.com
ALL NATIONS
hua hin
guesthouse and bar 12 rooms from 350 baht a night free wifi for guests 032 512747
allnationshuahin@ gmail.com Drop your AWOL Classifieds in here
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NO AWOL NEXT WEEK!
Friday December 5th is His Majesty the King’s birthday and it is likely that many of the places we normally deliver the paper to will be closed in his honour, so we have taken the decision not to publish next week. We apologise for any inconvenience but we will return on Friday 12th December. Thank you for going AWOL.
weird NEWS Spain Cannabis cake puts eight unaware party-goers in hospital A birthday party had to be ended prematurely when eight guests were taken to hospital – because the cake was made with cannabis butter. According to Spanish daily 20 Minutos, two brothers had been celebrating their birthday at a bar in Oviedo in northern Spain. But guests began to feel a little strange after biting into a birthday cake baked by the mother of one of the guests which had a surprise ingredient: butter mixed with marijuana. Bemused medical staff at Asturias Central Hospital immediately realised what was up when the stoned party-goers arrived in the emergency ward and contacted police. The guest who had brought the cake was ‘in no fit state to be interrogated’, said police, but they soon discovered the culprit when they called his mother – and she admitted to getting a bit creative with her cooking. Health officials noted all the guests were over 18 and none of them suffered any permanent damage. usa Woman goes directly to jail (does not pass go, does not collect £200) after slapping boyfriend over Monopoly game Board games have been known to cause arguments. But one woman was arrested after taking things a step further: slapping her boyfriend over a game of Monopoly. Officers in Hooksett, New Hampshire, were called to the home of 21-year-old Alyssa Ferraro after they received a domestic disturbance call relating to the board game. And Ferraro told arresting officers that she and her boyfriend had a row while playing and she had responded violently. ‘She got into an argument with her boyfriend over a game of Monopoly and open-hand slapped him in the face,’ according to a police statement obtained by CBS Boston. Ferraro was taken directly to jail (she did not pass go nor collect £200), where she was charged with domestic
violence-related simple assault. She was bailed for $2,000. The alleged victim didn’t require medical attention. usa Four female guards fell pregnant to same inmate in one American prison Four female prison guards fell pregnant to one inmate in a prison in Baltimore – a gang leader so powerful he said that in the jail, ‘I am the law.’ Tavo White showered the female guards with gifts including cars and diamond rings. White reportedly made $16,000 (£10,000) a month from smuggling drugs and cellphones into prison with help from his accomplices. An FBI wire tap captured White saying, ‘This is my jail. You understand that,’ and claiming to control everything from contraband to mob hits within the prison. Four guards – Jennifer Owens, Katera Stevenson, Chania Brooks and Tiffany Linder – allegedly fell pregnant to White while he was behind bars Owens had ‘Tavon’ tattooed on her neck and Stevenson had ‘Tavon’ tattooed on her wrist. The details came to light after authorities busted a major smuggling ring inside the prison – and 13 female prison guards, seven inmates and five co-conspirators face racketeering charges. Guards allegedly smuggled hard drugs and mobile phones into prison in their shoes for the ‘Black Guerrilla Family’, a gang which also operates on the streets of Baltimore City. All 12 officers have been suspended without pay, and the department are moving to fire them.
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THE AWOL NOTICEBOARD guesthouse for sale in central hua hin
ALC ANO OHOL If yo NYM ICS that’ u want t OUS s o
082 298 0500
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Contact AWOL on 081-649-836 1 or email to sales@a wolonline.n
get noticed!
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Place an ad on the AW OL Noticeboard, available in four sizes: Small - 100 baht per w eek Medium - 150 baht pe r week Big - 300 baht per wee k Large (this note) - 50 0 baht per week All ads are a minimum of 4 weeks Contact sales@awolon line.net or call 081 649 8361
et
d? thailan n i g n i v dri nal Internatio valid cence driving li 800 bt. 5 years 1 Call ) 771 (Eng 089 530 8
TELL EVERYONE ABOUT THE HAPPY HOUR EVERY DAY AT YOUR BAR
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s &S Indian
Soi 94 Certificate of Excellence restaurant 2012, 2013, 2014 Curries from only 90 baht Eat in or takeaway 081 455 5298 Capricorn Dec 22 - Jan 19 This is an excellent time for romance in the workplace, leaving you wishing you hadn’t signed that pesky form saying you wouldn’t have any. Aquarius Jan 20 – Feb 18 You’ll experience a sense of bonedeep certainty that you have not lived in vain now that “lying down on top of things” has actually become a fad. Pisces Feb 19 – Mar 20 You’ll build a better mousetrap, all right, but your mousetrap will be so terrifyingly good that people will avoid beating a path to your door for the sake of their own mortal souls. ARIES Mar 21 - Apr 20 Sometimes words are simply not enough to express how someone is feeling, which is why people keep insisting on defecating on your doorstep.
Taurus Apr 21 – May 21 Your quest to become the World’s Greatest Lover will be derailed as you continue only meeting people who think you’d be a really great parent. Gemini May 22 – June 21 Your old solution isn’t going to work on your new problem. Try drinking twice as much of it. Cancer Jun 22 – Jul 22 You’ve often said you’d like a word with whoever is responsible for all the bullshit, leaving you conflicted when you’re promoted to manager of all the bullshit. Leo Jul 23 – Aug 22 It will be nothing short of inspiring to see how quickly the community mobilizes once your profile goes up on the dating sites.
Virgo Aug 23 – Sep 22 You’ll narrowly avoid an unlikely set of circumstances that almost sees you married to a horse, but you’ll still be joined in matrimony to the two guys who were in the horse suit. Libra Sep 23 – Oct 23 Although you’ll admit you enjoy the new Doctor Who, you resent being referred to as “the kind of person who likes the new Doctor Who.” Scorpio Oct 24 – Nov 21 The attention will be nice and all, but until Thursday you’ll have no idea there is a world record for Amount of Crap Put Up with in a Lifetime. Sagittarius Nov 22 – Dec 21 Your inability to be spontaneous is well known, which will leave people struggling to put a name to what happens when you combust without warning next Wednesday.
Under offer from
Bars / Pubs Telephone Bobby’s Bar 089 985 7473 Dizzy Dolphin 080 652 0531 Lost Cafe 086 043 5058 Lucky Shot 086 178 1550 Railway Tavern 085 429 0378 The Bridge 089 586 1700 Services & other Telephone ACTA Law Firm Hua Hin 092 427 3344 CN Pool Service 081 572 3996 Easy Car Rental 086 166 9880 Siam Consulting 032 512075
accommodation Telephone All Nations Guesthouse 032 512747 Dream Guesthouse 080 562 6735 Victor Guesthouse 032 511564 Property Telephone Hot Property 032 533 533 Lucky Real Estate 082 298 0500 Sopha Land and Houses 083 324 0907 sports & leisure Telephone The Dartman 087 155 7737 Go Kart Hua Hin 032 547 199
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Restaurants/ Food Telephone All In Hua Hin 032 530067 British Breakfast Foods 087 155 7737 Buffalo Tavern 032 530087 Dream Restaurant & Bar 080 562 6735 Hua Hin Ham & Bacon 032 513144 Let’s Eat 082 248 0345 Orchid Restaurant 94 092 357 8185 S & S Indian 081 455 5298 Terrace 90 032 516587
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an a to z of good food at let’s eat
Let’s Eat RESTAURANT Open 9am to 9pm English Breakfast and Thai Food Soi 3 Khao Takiab (next to 7-11) Call 082 248 0345 or 089 450 5755
Each letter in this puzzle is represented by a number 1-26. Can you crack the code and solve the crossword? Every letter of the alphabet is used at least once. Three letters are already in place to get you started. Use the 1-26 small grid to keep track.
Last Issue’s Solution
12
A N
B O
C P
D Q
E R
F S
G H T U
I J K V W X
L Y
M Z
NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS A non-profit fellowship of men and women for whom drugs have become a major problem
Meetings now in Hua Hin every Sunday at 11.30am and every Thursday at 6pm Contact Add 086 014 7585 Emmanuel K. 090 438 387 Mark 084 314 1928
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Send your jokes to submissions@ awolonline.net and get your name in print! Brought to you by The Railway Tavern
Children Writing About the Ocean…. 1) - This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly, age 6) 2) - Oysters’ balls are called pearls. (Jerry, age 6) 3) - If you are surrounded by ocean, you are an island. If you don’t have ocean all round you, you are incontinent. (Mike, age 7) 4) - Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson. She’s not my friend any more. (Kylie, age 6) 5) - A dolphin breaths through an asshole on the top of its head. (Billy, age 8) 6) - My uncle goes out in his boat with 2 other men and a woman and pots and comes back with crabs. (Millie, age 6) 7) - When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes when the wind didn’t blow the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would have been better off eating beans. (William, age 7) 8) - Mermaids live in the ocean. I like mermaids. They are beautiful and I like their shiny tails, but how on earth do mermaids get pregnant? like, really? (Helen, age 6) 9) - I’m not going to write about the ocean. My baby brother is always crying, my Dad keeps yelling at my Mom, and my big sister has just got pregnant, so I can’t think what to write. (Amy, age 6) 10) - Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug themselves in to chargers. (Christopher, age 7)
Railway Tavern
PUB & CAFE HUA HIN SOI 88 085 429 0378
Motorbikes for Rent
Daily, weekly or long term
11) - When you go swimming in the ocean, it is very cold, and it makes my willy small. (Kevin, age 6) (Mine too!!) 12) - Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Divers can’t go down alone, so they have to go down on each other. (Becky, age 8) 13) - On vacation my Mom went water skiing. She fell off when she was going very fast. She says she won’t do it again because water fired right up her big fat ass. (Julie, age 7) 14) - The ocean is made up of water and fish. Why the fish don’t drown I don’t know. (Bobby, age 6) 15) - My dad was a sailor on the ocean. He knows all about the ocean. what he doesn’t know is why he quit being a sailor and married my mom. (James, age 7) charity Yesterday I saw a dishevelled old hairy tramp recycling putrefied rubbish, swearing at strangers and begging for money after his family spent all his on heroin. I just thought; No, Bob Geldof, I’m not buying your bloody record this time. pirates Q. Why are Pirates called Pirates? A. Cos they Aaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrr! 13
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Power Of HELP NEEDED FOR THE SLUMS IN HUA HIN Love Church We are working to help the Slums of Hua Hin and would love to have you deliver your goods with us, so you know your donation is going directly to those who need it. We need secondhand items, clothes and household goods. Why not join us and come to the slums with us? We leave from our offices at 17:20 Every Tuesday evening. Visit us any day, on Soi 88, over the railway, 200m up on the left, 2nd floor above IQ hair dressers
buy, sell, rent or lease, this is the place to do it with ease
announcements new! make your personal or business announcement here; Weddings, Birthdays, Funerals, Obituaries, Barmitzvahs, Parties, anything! Up to 50 words just 100 baht for two issues, up to 150 words plus a picture for 300 baht for two issues. Place ads and pay online on the Announcements board of the AWOL Forum at www.awolonline.net/forum/index.php?board=16, or in person at our office, or by emailing us and transfering the payment to our bank. Contact submissions@awolonline. net for help or information.
Business established restaurant/bar for sale. Prime location in Khao Takiab near Wora-Bora and Amari Hotels. 3 year rolling lease paid up to Sept. 2015 (15,000 baht/month), 2 eating areas/bar, 2 kitchens, 5 bedrooms, 5 bathrooms and private lounge upstairs, all clean and maintained. Price includes stock, appliances, equipment, furniture etc. 1.1m baht o.n.o. E-mail howard_coates56@yahoo.co.uk tel. 090 445 5806 for details. Rooms available in family run guesthouse from 3,000 baht a month. Weekly and daily rates available. Tiks Place at VIP Condo just north of Hua Hin airport. Please call David on 092 927 7207 or email davidhodgins@ymail.com for more information. wanted guesthouse/hotel within 400m of beach near central Hua Hin. Call 081 817 3000
SERVICES advertise your service here for just 1000 baht for 3 months or 500 baht for 4 weeks. Or go to www. awolonline.net/business and place the ad there.
Wanted Looking for tennis partner (or joining a team of 4), 1 or 2 times a week. Medium level. Robert tel. 098 356 2290
Employment
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Architectural draftsman, Job offered; Full time job for an Architectural Draftsman, part time jobs for Handy Men, part time job for Webmaster, and part time job for Home cleaning service Staff (Thai citizens only). Call 081 253 1443 or email info@thailand-immobilien. ch Thai male staff required to help customers and repair go karts; training will be given, no experience required, easy work, lots of fun please call 032 547 199 Staff wanted feMale waitress staff wanted full training given; MUST HAVE A BRAIN!! Email info@ buffalobillshuahin.com or call 080 727 4710 guesthouse requires staff - maid, daytime and nighttime staff and security guard. Please call 081 817 3000 or 087 155 6115
General 60 Liter PORTABLE FRIDGE FREEZER (Australian designed and built for use in pickups/4X drives) Ideal for keeping food frozen on long shopping trips or beer cold (90 cans!) Cooling Capacity +10c to -18c. New Baht 34k - SELL - Baht 25k ONO -(view web: www. arb.com.au/products/arb-freezer-fridges) Call Patrick/ Kan - 0877 124 630 (Soi 88)
Facebook@Power of Love Church Tel K. Andrew 080 999 3603 K. Panaya 092 592 3604 (Thai)
(Services every Sunday 10 am at Hilton Resort and Spa)
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Business and Services
Rates: Up to 50 words: 500 baht for 4 issues, 1000 baht for 13 issues. Additional words charged at 20 baht per word. Example: 60 words charged at 500 plus (10 x 20)=700 baht for 4 issues, or 1000 plus (10 x 20)=1200 for 13 issues. Please note that paid ads placed online can have up to 750 words and 3 images depending on which plan is selected.
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Rates: Items priced up to 10,000 baht, 13 issues for 500 baht. Items priced over 10,000 baht, 13 issues for 1000 baht. Maximum 50 words for all ads; unpriced items pay the higher rate.
property for sale or rent
OPTION 1: fixed fee and/or commission deal with ads in the paper, online and at the Lucky Real Estate office. Contact property@awolonline.net or realestate@luckyhuahin.com for details. OPTION 2: Rates: Same as for Business and Services above. Will feature in both printed and online classifieds. Contact classifieds@awolonline.net for further information or to place an advert.
WATERTANK 1,000 Liter blue, very clean, full function, 2,500 BAHT, in Cha-Am, near Golden Beach Hotel, call for more information 080 773 54 96 Five 15 drawer filing cabinets 2,000bt each; one counter/ desk with side desk 5,000bt; one high backed swivel chair 1,500bt. All as new tel 089 530 8771 (Eng), 089 128 9556 (Thai) Top of the range, barely used wheelchair for sale, 4,000 baht. Contact 090 794 7787 high quality leather sofa - 3 seater, maroon colour. Cost new 55,000 baht, selling for 22,000 baht. Call 089 054 3205
General - sports Golf clubs for sale Set of Slazenger ‘Firesteel 2’ clubs Incl. 1,2 & 3 woods, 5,6,7,8,9 Irons. Pitching wedge, Sand wedge. 18deg Skymax Hybrid (new) + Donnay 10.5deg (Fairway?) wood. Dunlop putter, recently re-gripped (fat grip). All above including Slazenger bag, for 9000 Thai Baht. Additional: Top Flight 10.5deg Titanium Syncroflex no. 1 Wood 2000 Thai Baht. Call Terry on 088 542 2918 For sale golf clubs and bag; 1,3,5 woods, 9 cavity back irons, SW to 3 iron, Bag, 8,000 bt ono. Keith@081 466 1875
auto: 3 wheels & LESS honda cbr 250cc Candy Apple Red, 4000 km, registered Dec 2012. Price 85,000 or very near offer. Please call 081 817 3000 Yamaha fino blue and white 20 months old 7,800 km 25,000 baht. Call 081 817 3000
auto: 4 wheels pluS NISSAN, silver metallic, like new, MARCH 1200 cc, 79kW, automatic, first date 6/2012, tax and insurance paid, accident-free (100%), only 35,000 km, long distances, all inspections, 1 driver, non-smoker, best conditions, 5.8 l / 100 km, original price 620,000 BAHT, selling price 50% = 310,000 BAHT, basis for negotiable, for more information please call 080 773 5496 in North Cha-Am Beach. Honda CRV 2013. 2.0 registered January 2013. Crystal black pearl with full cream leather interior. Excellent condition throughout with only one owner from new. No accident. Full Honda (Hua Hin) service history. Only 11,700 kms to date. Climate control, CD player, Bluetooth, electric seats, electric door mirrors, Audio & video on reverse etc etc. Paid THB 1,300,000 but will accept THB 890,000 ono for quick sale. Tel: 0833 120 076 QUINN, email: toni.quinn@yahoo.com just reduced! honda Jazz 1.5 Vtec in black, excellent all round condition. Top of the range model, with 7-speed automatic/manual transmission. One owner from new, full Honda service history with invoices. First reg July 2007, travelled only 59,000 km. Taxed to July 2015, Class 1 insurance with AXA to 22 May 2015, fully transferable at no cost. 295,000 baht ono. Please call Tony on 085 224 2095
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Property for sale land for sale 1 rai (1600sq mtr) level building block in Tab Tai with mountain views. Green Chanot (title). (16km/23min) from Market Village. Power, water and concrete road 50 metres. 2.5 metre concrete and wire fence on one side. Dual access front and back to public roads. Flood free overlooking Sam Phan Nam stream. 1.5 million thai baht. Call Ian 0888946100 best sea view condo in Khao Takiab for sale. 63.5 sqm, corner unit, 2 bed, 2 bath, with unobstructed sea and golf course view. See pictures on www.409bvv.weebly.com, Price 5.5 m baht, just reduced!. Contact owner on 086 166 9880 or email via website. POOL VILLAS on small development at great prices in Hua Hin; from 3.49m baht. Go to luckyhuahin.com or call 089 530 8771 for details. Fully furnished villa 3 bed off Canal Road; 5.7m baht. Go to www.awolonline. net/property or luckyhuahin.com or call 089 530 8771 for details. european style villa, 3 bed, 2 bath between Hua Hin and Cha Am; 5.2m baht. Go to www.awolonline.net/property or luckyhuahin.com or call 089 530 8771 for details. stunning L shaped Borfai bungalow; 9.9m baht. Go to www.awolonline.net/ property or luckyhuahin.com or call 089 530 8771 for details. large bungalow near town centre; 4.5m baht. Go to www.awolonline.net/ property or luckyhuahin.com or call 089 530 8771 for details. villa on large plot near Cha Am; 3.5m baht. Go to www.awolonline.net/property or luckyhuahin.com or call 089 530 8771 for details. POOL VILLAS on small development at great prices in Hua Hin; from 3.49m baht. Go to luckyhuahin.com or call 089 530 8771 for details. beautiful new houses on quiet project;from 3m baht. Go to luckyhuahin.com or call 089 530 8771 for details. attractive house on small gated village; 3.6m baht. Go to luckyhuahin.com or call 089 530 8771 for details. Delightful small house in Hua Hin; just 1.8m baht. Go to luckyhuahin.com or call 089 530 8771 for details. Four Bed Villa On Stilts 4.9m baht. Go to www.awolonline.net/property or luckyhuahin.com or call 089 530 8771 for details. Fully furnished villa 3 bed off Canal Road; 5.7m baht. Go to www.awolonline. net/property or luckyhuahin.com or call 089 530 8771 for details. pool villa overlooking lake in Hua Hin, 2 bed; 6.9m baht. Go to www.awolonline. net/property or luckyhuahin.com or call 089 530 8771 for details.
large house/land near Palm Hills, 4 bed; 4.5m baht.Go to www.awolonline.net/ property or luckyhuahin.com or call 089 530 8771 for details. Beautiful two storey house in Hua Hin; 12.5 m baht. Go to www.awolonline. net/property or luckyhuahin.com or call 089 530 8771 for details.
Property wanted I am looking for a 3 bedroom villa on a secure private, completed development, with a swimming pool, close to Hua Hin and the beach, budget no more than 5m baht. For sale by the owner only. Contact 080 100 4194 long term rental properties wanted, particularly pool villas in good areas. Please contact Lucky Real Estate on 089 530 8771 or realestate@luckyhuahin.com
commercial property centrally located guesthouse for sale. Please contact 089 530 8771 for details. sunrise coast commercial properties - we have a variety of land, resorts and other commercial opportunities available in the Bang Saphan area. Contact 089 530 8771 for details.
property for Rent for rent one bedroom single houses, fully furnished with a/c unit in bedroom. Ten units available at Baan Skaarstein opposite temple in Soi 6, Borfai, Hua Hin. Rent negotiable depending on length of stay. Contact: Jim: 089 910 3199, Nok: 085 744 5758 or Aon: 095 675 3540 (Thai) for rent two bedroom bungalow in Baan Suksabai Soi 102. 3 a/c units. Rent negotiable depending on length of stay. Call for viewing Jim: 089 910 3199, Nok: 085 744 5758 or Aon: 095 675 3540 unfurnished detached 2 bed, 2 bath bungalow with undercover carport & gardens on secured quiet beachside complex close to airport. use of two swimming pools, gym and private access to beach. 10,000bht. per month, negotiable. min. one year contract. Please call David on 092 927 7207 or email davidhodgins@ymail.com for more information. townhouse for rent, available from Dec 1st, 2 bedroom in soi behind Grand Hotel. Call for viewing appointment 089 024 7731 lovely House for rent on Palm Hills golf course; 20,000 baht per month (min. 6 months). More details on www.luckyhuahin.com or call 089 530 8771
SALES AND RENTALS
NEW DEVELOPMENTS - PRE-OWNED HOMES CONDOS & APARTMENTS - VILLAS & HOUSES RESORTS - BUSINESSES - LAND Contact: Tel.: 082 298 0500 E-mail: realestate@luckyhuahin.com Website: luckyhuahin.com Join the AWOL forum
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MONEY & INFORMATION overseas calls information
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Useful Numbers
REVERSE CHARGE CALLS The list below is the free number you need to call to connect to an operator of that country to request the reverse charge call. ARGENTINA 001-999-54-1000/ 2000 AUSTRALIA 001-999-61-1000/2000 AUSTRIA 001-800-28787421 BAHRAIN 001-999-973-1000 BRUNEI 001-999-673-1000 CANADA 001-999-15-1000/2000 DENMARK 001-999-45-1000 FRANCE 001-999-33-1000 GERMANY 001-999-49-1000 HAWAII 001-800-865-8424 HONG KONG 001-999-852-1086 INDONESIA 001-999-62-1000/2000 ISRAEL 001-999-972-1000/ 2000 ITALY 001-999-39-1000 JAPAN 001-999-811-0051 KOREA 001-999-82-1000/2000/2001 MACAU 001-999-853-1000 MALAYSIA 001-999-60-1000/4000/4001 MALTA 001-999-356-1000 MEXICO 001-999-52-1000 NEPAL 001-800-977-1-9999 NETHERLANDS 001-999-31-1035 NEW ZEALAND 001-999-64-1066 PHILIPPINES 001-999-63-1000/3000/6000 PORTUGAL 001-999-351-1000 RUSSIA 001-999-7-1000 SINGAPORE 001-999-65-0000/2008 SOUTH AFRICA 001-999-27-1000 SPAIN 001-999-34-1066 TAIWAN 001-999-886-1000 U.A.E. 001-999-971-1000 U.K. 001-999-44-1066 U.S.A. 001-999-1-1111/2001/2002 AWOL would like to thank the staff at CAT in Hua Hin for providing the above numbers. FREE CALLS If your mobile phone or device and that of the person you are calling supports it, you can use a number of apps to make free calls anywhere, with the best known being Skype and Viber. cheap calls The mobile phone operators offer special numbers to prefix an international number to get cheap rate international calls. More information call True 1331 AIS 1175 DTAC 1678
Police 191 Crime 195 Fire 199 Traffic Control Centre 197 Highway Police 1193 Tourist Police 1699 Tourist Service Centre 1155 Missing Persons 02 282 1815 Hua Hin Police Station 032 511 027 Hua Hin Tourist Police 032 516 219 Cha-Am Police Station 032 471 321 Bangkok Hospital Hua Hin 1719 Hua Hin Hospital 032 511 743 San Paulo Hospital 032 532 576 to 585 Hua Hin Red Cross 032 512 567 Hua Hin Municipality 032 532433 Hua Hin Tessabahn 032 511 047 Hua Hin Immigration Of. 032 520 616 Hua Hin Bus Terminal (non air-con) 032 511 230 (air-con) 032 511654, 512543 Hua Hin Railway Station 032 511 073 Tourist Information 032 513 885 Hua Hin Electricity 032 512 215 Electricity Call Centre 1129 Hua Hin Water 032 511 677 TOT 032 519 000/001 TT&T 032 532 018 CAT 032 511 350 Alcholics Anonymous 0870 620 098 Narcotics Anonymous 084 314 1928
Exchange Rates (26-11-14) TT Buying rate Currency Baht US Dollar 32.62 Pound Sterling 51.15 Euro 40.60 Japanese Yen 27.63 Malaysian Ringgit 9.21 Singapore Dollar 24.96 Brunei Dollar 24.21 Chinese Yuan 5.31 Indonesian Rupiah 2.49 Indian Rupee 0.48 Korean Won 0.03 Australian Dollar 27.75 New Zealand Dollar 25.39 Swiss Franc 33.72 Danish Krone 5.46 Norwegian Krone 4.77 Swedish Krona 4.38 Canadian Dollar 28.82 UAE Dirham 7.29 Bahrain Dinar 63.03 Omani Rial 62.19 Qatar Riyal 7.17 AWOL makes no warranties, express or implied, regarding these rates and shall not be liable for any losses or damages incurred in connection with them.
Local radio hua hin skyweb 98.25 FM and online at www. huahinskywebradio.com featuring English DJ.Phil Keekuee from 11am - 1pm and 4 - 6pm Monday to Friday and 11am - 2pm and 3 - 6pm Saturdays
cryptic Crossword Solution
Local Consular Representatives CANADIAN Rick Pomerleau 087 153 3817 or e-mail on rickpomerleau@hotmail.com FINNISH Mr. Sipi Siljamaeki 087-911 8119 or e-mail: suthiporn.siljamaki@gmail.com AMERICAN Mr. Christopher Byrd 081-173 4469 or e-mail: chrs@tourdeasia.org
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to hull
and back
Mags Meanderings: From Som Tam To Mushy Peas
one of the boys Women have been taking part in sports at a professional level since the early 1930’s. Although limited at first to events such as tennis, gymnastics, archery, skiing and skating, by the second half of the 1900’s it was clear that women could in fact manage most of the sports traditionally seen as male domains. And now of course people don’t bat an eyelid at women footballers, boxers or jockeys. Along with that levelling of the playing fields, it would be reasonable to expect an increase in female sports ‘pundits’ - commentators and experts - but with a few notable exceptions that doesn’t seem to be the case. Certainly not in the UK anyway. Yes we have Michaela Tabb, the first woman ever to referee a professional ranking snooker tournament which, in 2002, happened to be a match between Thailands’ own James Wattana and Ken Doherty. (Which Doherty won 5 frames to 2.) Then there is Clare Balding, born into horse racing, whose knowledge of the sport quickly gave her much more credibility than one male counterpart in particular - (who had better remain nameless, but who flapped his hands a lot and talked in betting speak.) Retired tennis champion Sue Barker has also become a successful TV presenter, although she still carries the stigma of the one Cliff Richard almost married. Then we begin to struggle. Sports journalist Hazel Irvine does a good job of holding together the male snooker pundits between matches at the Crucible. And there the list begins to peter out. That is until the recent appointment of Isa Guha (above right) to the strangely named task of cricket ‘summariser’ for BBC radio. Which means that Isa will provide expert commentary in between overs. Like our other few female pundits Isa is not without credentials, having played cricket for the womens’ World Cup team. She is also, it has to be said, an attractive 29 year old, which may account for one of the tabloid press feeling the need to describe her as ‘one of the boys’. A cringeworthy description for a woman who is clearly a
Cheap room for rent from just 350 baht
0915094729 Th/Eng 0805626735 Swe/Eng
Soi 94 (1st left after 7-11)
talented sports professional in her own right. I wonder if the media would even dream of referring to a male ballet dancer as ‘one of the girls’? Just a thought. The soap box now safely packed away, our word of the week is ‘capias’. Please note this is not a mis-spelling. It is a legal word meaning a warrant or order for arrest.
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All articles are published in good faith and based on information available to us at publication. Some articles are satire or ‘spoof’ stories intended as humour. No responsibility is accepted other than that stipulated by law. Although the information in this publication has been obtained from sources believed to be reliable, AWOL cannot guarantee accuracy in all cases. Any opinions expressed are those of the contributor and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher. All materials copyright. All rights reserved and no part of this
Dream Guesthouse
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balloon chasers
Get an insight to the happenings in and around the area
Parties, special deals, regular events, celebrations and more; to get it in AWOL email info@awolonline.net. thanksgiving/christmas/new year terrace 90, Soi 90; Christmas Eve and Christmas Day lunches/dinners; 999 baht (450 for under 12s; see full details on page 7 palm bistro, Orchid Palm Homes 4 off Soi 88; 25th December Christmas Lunch. Adults 1750 baht, Under 12s 1000 baht, under 3s free. Reservations only. recently added and coming soon say cheese guesthouse/restaurant, Amuaysin Road; Live Jazz every Monday 7 - 10.30pm the admiral bar & grill, Damnoernkasem Road; Every month The Comedy Club - contact venue for details and tickets Dream Restaurant & Bar, Soi 88; Every Friday from 6pm Buffet featuring Swedish, Thai and European food, just 279 baht. Also have pizzas and kebabs. ALL IN HUA HIN, Srasong Road; 6 - 9 NovemberFest with special beers and prices. Regular Events Baan Silapin artist village, Pala U Road; Jazz Jam Session every Sunday from 7pm. Bobby’s Bar, Soi 102.; Free Bar B Que every Friday from 5pm. when spend 180 bt. Sunday Roast - spend 200 baht on drinks and get it free!. British Breakfast all day, Only 99 bt. Captain Dougs, Khao Takiab; Every Friday from 7pm BBQ plus a beer just 300 baht. DIZZY DOLPHIN, Soi Samorphong; Happy Hour every day from 1 - 7pm - Samsong + mixer 40 baht, Wine 55 baht, large domestic beers 65 baht 18
johnny’s 56, Soi Selekam/Poolsuk; Last Thursday every month fun pub quiz from around 7.30pm. smor spa village, Khao Takiab; Every other Saturday from 7pm Indian Buffet Dinner plus live music - all you can eat for 350 baht; reservations 032 536 800 Sunset Boulevard, Khao Takiab; Periodic Tuesday all video fun pub quiz. Food available. Bookings recommended. Call Mike 084 376 9438. the fat cat, Naresdamri Road; Live Jazz every day (except Sunday) from 7 to 9 pm. Old songs played on cornet and double bass, plus special jazz food menu. TK Roadhouse, Khao Takiab; Monthly Pub Quiz; Pie & A Beer 150 THB special during the football. Uncle Bryn’s (2km past Palm Hills north along klong road. Turn left and 200m on left.); Large Chang 53 baht, large Leo 55 baht. Open daily 7am-10pm. 085 405 6976 (T) 080 197 2072(E) urban fuzion, Soi 61; Happy hour every day 3 to 8pm; Beer Buckets - 5 local beers 350 baht; Daily specials. British style Sunday Roasts: Bobby’s Bar, Soi 102 ChaAam Pub & Restaurant Coco Beach Club, Naresdamri Road (reservations, call 032 908080 after 4.30pm) Hua Hin Miss You, Soi 80 Jungle Juice, Soi Selekam Lin’s Cafe, Phetkasem Road between Sois 80/78 Orchid Restaurant 94, Soi 94 Palm Bistro, Soi 88 (032 828144) Seajays Resort, off Pala-U Road. 083 311 1787 Ye Olde Buffalo Tavern, Chomsin Rd Zab Wer, Soi 112.
THE HOLIDAYS ARE COMING! Make sure to get your Christmas or New Year offer, or your special offers on drinks, or parties into Balloon Chasers in plenty of time. It’s Free, so what have you got to lose? Send your information to submissions@awolonline.net Sell it fast with AWOL Classifieds
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HUA HIN GOLF Butterfly Rock Golf society
RESULTS 24th November 2014 Lake View CD Stableford 21 entered 1st Richard Hooi 40 pts (11) 2nd Geoff G Batt-Rawden 40 pts (07) 3rd Ben Krahe 35 pts (05) 4th Gerry Paget 35 pts (07) 19th November 2014 Majestic Creek Stableford 25 entered 1st Mick Mace 42 pts (18) 2nd Ronnie Thorley 41 pts (20) 3rd Richard Denyer 39 pts (13) 4th Ken Bell 35 pts (13) Upcoming Fixtures 1st December 2014 Lakeview A&B Medal 3rd December 2014 Sawang Stableford 5th December 2014 Lakeview C&D Yellow Tees 8th December Lakeview C&D Stableford 10th December Palm Hills Stableford 12th December Lakeview A&B Yellow Tees robin’s roll up
Held every Friday at Palm Hills. Thanks to Robin Heath for organising and results. Please contact Robin on robinaston@hotmail. com if you are interested in playing. Results appear here when available.
Hua Hin Golf Society
cha am golf club
Results 25th November 2014 Banyan Waltz 9 teams 1st Robert Bird, Chuck Carriere, Ampika Sangwichai, Marjorie Sherlock 121 pts 2nd Maarten (Guest), Winfried Lauenstein, Darren Sellars, Tim Vermeersch 103 pts 3rd Rene Bernard, Sheila Bird, Gary Channell, ‘Kurre’ Westerling 102 pts 4th Kaethe Hollman, Bernard Morgan, Rob Prudon, Ian Strathearn 99 pts 21st November 2014 Lake View A + B Stableford 35 entered A group: 1st Cornelis Ringnalda 41 pts (13) 2nd Pekka Hogman 38 pts (14) 3rd Andrew McDermott 36 pts (08) 4th Neil Henderson 35 pts (08) B group: 1st ‘Kurre’ Westerling 40 pts (20) 2nd Bernard Morgan 39 pts (29) 3rd Tien Prudon 38 pts (29) 4th Seppo Rintala 36 pts (16) forthcoming fixtures 2nd Dec 2014 Lake View Society Championship 5th Dec 2014 Lake View Society Championship 9th December 2014 Majestic Stableford 12th December 2014 Palm Hills Stableford
Contact: secretary@chaamgolfclub.com FIXTURES 3rd December CGC Tournament lake view members club
21st November 2014 AB Individual Stableford 1st Steve O’Brien (15) 39 pts 2nd Craig Miller (4) 35 pts 3rd Mike Knight (15) 35 pts 4th Mike O’Brien (16) 31 pts 24th November 2014 CD Individual Stableford 1st Reto Vorburger (5) 33 pts 2nd Mike Lord (Guest) (5) 31 pts 3rd Peter Tucker (12) 30 pts 4th Mike O’Brien (16) 30 pts 26th November 2014 AB Team Stableford 1st Reto Vorburger (5) & Steve O’Brien (14) 63 pts 2nd Craig Miller (4) & Mike Knight (15) 56 pts 3rd Peter Tucker (12) & Mike O’Brien (16) 53 pts 4th Gary Ross (18) & Greg Smith (19) 41 pts FIXTURES Lake View every Monday, Wednesday, Friday
cryptic crossword The solution is on page 16
Across 1 Sailor held back by soldiers is free (6) 5 Tree in which marmoset is seen by 500 (8) 9 Bet on others giving support (8) 10 Some taking over nations to impose regulations (6) 11 Laudable prayer, to wish for reincarnation (12) 13 A piece of furniture unfinished until now (4) 14 Bill has reserve computer (8) 17 Father improved, for example, inside (8) 18 Article on etiquette’s beginning to make you old-fashioned (4) 20 Chief assistant is no southpaw (5-4,3) 23 Anchor designed for Greek ferryman (6) 24 Grain entertaining British intellectual (8) 25 Objects for trials (8) 26 A run-down area in which youthleader’s found refuge (6)
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Down 2 Genuine old Spanish coin (4) 3 Happen to capture position (4,5) 4 Notice saying “Playground Equipment” (6) 5 False sounds ruin Attic drama (5,10) 6 Power unit in Maine, Georgia and Washington doubled temperature (8) 7 Pet name for pirate ship (5) 8 No other ark made land (5,5) 12 A sort of look designed to cheer him? (4-6) 15 It’s on the coast of Australia - a tree discovered by science (6,3) 16 Pictures of topless things and other things on top (8) 19 Screen debut by Miss Loy in old Turkish city (6) 21 Wooded hillock forming part of Arthur’s territory (5) 22 Graduate beginning to know university in an Asian capital (4)
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Hua Hin Pool Billiard League
hua hin khao takiab super Pool League
results Week 9 21st November 2014 Aussie Bar (6) 1 - 7 (17) Lucky Shot A Chang Boom Boom (18) 7 - 1 (5) Clansmen Coopers Beer Gdn (15) 5 - 3 (12) HH Miss You Lucky Shot B (11) 2 - 6 (17) TK Roadhouse 1 Maria Bar 1 (15) 5 - 3 (12) Infinity Bar Pistol Petes (18) 7 - 1 (6) Lucky Shot Maria TK Roadhouse 2 v Jaew Bar n/a Pa’s Beer Garden - no game League Table Team Pistol Petes Chang Bm Bm Lucky Shot A Lucky St Maria Maria Bar 1 TK R’dhouse 1 Clansmen Pa’s Beer Grden TK R’dhouse 2 Lucky Shot B Infinity Bar Coopers Br Gdn Jaew Bar Aussie Bar HHin Miss You
P W D 8 8 0 8 7 0 9 6 1 8 6 0 9 5 1 9 5 1 8 4 1 8 3 2 8 4 0 8 4 0 9 3 1 8 2 0 7 1 1 8 0 0 9 0 0
L 0 1 2 2 3 3 3 3 4 4 5 6 5 8 9
+/42 26 20 14 14 8 -4 6 2 2 -8 -26 -16 -30 -50
Pts 16 14 13 12 11 11 9 8 8 8 7 4 3 0 0
fixtures Week 10 28th November 2014 Clansmen v Lucky Shot B Hua Hin Miss You - no game Infinity Bar v TK Roadhouse 2 Lucky Shot A v Maria Bar 1 Lucky Shot Maria v Jaew Bar Pa’s Beer Garden v Aussie Bar Pistol Petes v Chang Boom Boom TK Roadhouse 1 v Coopers Beer Garden 20
No games on 5th December Week 11 12th December 2014 Aussie Bar v Hua Hin Miss You Chang Boom Boom v Lucky Shot Maria Coopers Beer Garden v Clansmen Jaew Bar v Infinity Bar Lucky Shot B v Pistol Petes Maria Bar 1 v Pa’s Beer Garden TK Roadhouse 2 v Lucky Shot A TK Roadhouse 1 - no game
results Week 14 20th November 2014 Bobby’s Boys 10 - 10 Muan Bar 2 Chon Bar 3 - 17 Beach Hut Exotic Bar 10 - 10 JNB Bar JJ Sport Bar 15 - 5 My Way Bar Jungle Juice v Maria Bar n/a Lanla Bar 14 - 6 Soda Bar Muan Bar 1 11 - 9 Lek Bar Salute Bar 11 - 9 Bobby’s Birds Somatch (3D + 1) Bar 7 - 13 TK Roadies TK Roadhouse 16 - 4 Sasa Bar Fixtures Week 16 4th December 2014 Bobby’s Birds v Sasa Bar Chon Bar v JNB Bar Exotic Bar v TK Roadies JJ Sport Bar v Maria Bar Jungle Juice v Soda Bar Lanla Bar v Bobby’s Boys Muan Bar 1 v Beach Hut Salute Bar v Lek Bar Somatch (3D + 1) Bar v Muan Bar 2 TK Roadhouse v My Way Bar League Table Team Muan Bar 2 TK Roadhouse Lanla Bar TK Roadies Maria Bar Beach Hut Bobby’s Boys JNB Bar Muan Bar 1 JJ Sport Bar Bobby’s Birds Exotic Bar Somatch Bar Jungle Juice Lek Bar Salute Bar Soda Bar Chon Bar Sasa Bar My Way Bar
P 14 14 14 14 13 14 14 12 14 13 13 13 13 12 13 14 14 13 13 14
W 12 11 12 10 9 8 7 7 4 5 5 6 5 5 3 2 3 3 3 0
L 1 2 2 3 3 6 4 3 7 7 7 6 7 3 9 8 10 9 10 13
+/84 76 64 56 64 12 4 30 -18 -6 -8 -14 -14 4 -26 -58 -58 -46 -48 -98
Pts 182 178 172 168 162 146 142 135 131 127 126 123 123 122 117 111 111 107 106 91
LUCKY SHOT BAR
Hua Hin’s only pool bar with FOUR 9’ tables Ask about our drinks specials and other special offers Contact Andy on 086 178 1550 Email: aknabe@gmx.net 27/3 Poolsuk Road, Hua Hin
thursday friendly Pool League
results Week 10 20th November 2014 Bar 80 Saloon 5 - 13 Maria Bar Casanova’s 8 - 10 Hut Bar Chill Chill 9 - 9 Monica’s Bar Coopers Beer Garden 4 - 14 HHin Miss You Squealing Pig 5 - 13 Pistol Petes No match - Clansmen, Dara Bar, Jaew Bar League Table Team Maria Bar Clansmen Pistol Petes Dara Bar Squealing Pig Monica’s Bar Chill Chill Hut Bar HHin Miss You Coopers Br Gdn Casanova’s Jaew Bar Bar 80 Saloon
P W D 8 7 0 7 7 0 8 6 1 8 6 0 9 4 1 8 3 1 9 3 1 8 4 1 9 2 1 8 1 1 8 1 2 7 1 1 7 1 2
L 1 0 1 2 4 4 5 3 6 6 5 5 4
+/- Pts 48 108 58 106 28 99 12 90 -2 89 6 82 -12 82 -16 73 -28 72 -28 61 -30 61 -10 59 -26 54
Fixtures Week 12 4th December 2014 Bar 80 Saloon v Hut Bar Casanova’s v Pistol Petes Chill Chill v Squealing Pig Clansmen v Jaew Bar Coopers Beer Garden v Maria Bar No match - Dara Bar, Hua Hin Miss You, Monica’s Bar
Apologies for the incorrect fixtures listed last week.
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hua hin/khao takiab Fun Pool League
results Week 2 26th November 2014 Aussie Bar 7 - 11 Bobby’s Bangers Bobby’s Beauties 6 - 12 TK Roadhouse Muan Bar 7 - 11 Monica’s Pistol Pete’s 5 - 13 Maria’s Bar Saloon Bar 80 9 - 9 Jaew Bar Sunset Boulevard 11 - 7 Dara’s Bar TK Roadies 13 - 5 Casanova’s The Bridge 5 - 13 Clansman The Squealing Pig 9 - 9 Beach Hut Bar League Table Team Clansman TK Roadhouse Beach Hut Bar Bobby’s Bngrs Squealing Pig Maria’s Bar TK Roadies Pistol Pete’s Monica’s Saloon Bar 80 Muan Bar The Bridge Sunset B’vard Dara’s Bar Bobby’s B’ties Jaew Bar Casanova’s Aussie Bar
P W D 2 2 0 2 2 0 2 1 1 2 1 1 2 1 1 2 1 0 2 1 0 2 1 0 2 1 0 2 0 2 2 1 0 2 1 0 2 1 0 2 0 1 2 0 1 2 0 1 2 0 0 2 0 0
L 0 0 0 0 0 1 1 1 1 0 1 1 1 1 1 1 2 2
+/- Pts 18 4 10 4 12 3 4 3 4 3 6 2 4 2 2 2 0 2 0 2 -2 2 -4 2 -6 2 -4 1 -6 1 -10 1 -12 0 -16 0
Fixtures Week 3 3rd December 2014 Bobby’s Bangers v Beach Hut Bar Casanova’s v Bobby’s Beauties Clansman v TK Roadies Dara’s Bar v The Bridge Jaew Bar v Sunset Boulevard Maria’s Bar v Saloon Bar 80 Monica’s v Pistol Pete’s Muan Bar v The Squealing Pig TK Roadhouse v Aussie Bar
DON’T FORGET! No AWOL next week, but you can find all the results, fixtures and tables on the AWOL website at www.awolonline.net
hua hin/khao takiab ladies Pool League
HUA HIN social POOL LEAGUE
results Week 21 24th November 2014 Bobby’s Birds v Monicas n/a Dara Bar v JNB Bar n/a Jaew Bar v JJ Sports Bar n/a Somatch (3D+1) Bar v Sa Sa Bar n/a Sunset Boulevard v Railway Tavern n/a The Clansmen v Pistol Pete’s n/a The Squealing Pig v Muan Bar n/a TK Roadhouse v Salute Bar n/a
RESULTS Week 14 26th November 2014 All Nations GH 12 - 7 Jungle Juice B Buckleys 9 - 10 Limelight Chon Bar 8 - 11 Sabai JW Red 10 - 9 King Bar A Jungle Juice A 7 - 12 Pink Panther King Bar B 7 - 12 Tiger Bar No match - JW Black
Fixtures Week 22 1st December 2014 JJ Sports Bar v TK Roadhouse JNB Bar v Jaew Bar Monicas v Dara Bar Muan Bar v Bobby’s Birds Pistol Pete’s v The Squealing Pig Railway Tavern v The Clansmen Sa Sa Bar v Sunset Boulevard Salute Bar v Somatch (3D+1) Bar
League Table
League Table Team Muan Bar Railway Tavern Sunset B’vard Squealing Pig Dara Bar Pistol Pete’s The Clansmen Sa Sa Bar Bobby’s Birds TK Roadhouse Jaew Bar JNB Bar JJ Sports Bar Monicas Somatch Bar Salute Bar
P 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 19 19 20 20 19 19 19 20 17
W 18 16 13 11 11 11 8 9 9 9 7 4 5 2 3 1
D 0 1 1 3 3 1 4 2 2 1 2 4 1 6 3 4
L 2 3 6 6 6 8 8 8 8 10 11 11 13 11 14 12
+/- Pts 98 36 52 33 24 27 32 25 18 25 8 23 18 20 -2 20 -10 20 -6 19 -16 16 -28 12 -38 11 -60 10 -30 9 -60 6
Team Pink Panther Limelight Buckleys Jungle Juice B King Bar A All Nations GH Sabai Jungle Juice A Tiger Bar JW Red JW Black King Bar B Chon Bar
P 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 12 13 13
W 12 10 10 10 9 8 6 6 4 4 3 1 1
L 1 3 3 3 4 5 7 7 9 9 9 12 12
+/- Pts 65 24 45 20 43 20 29 20 7 18 13 16 -1 12 -9 12 -19 8 -25 8 -40 6 -47 2 -61 2
Fixtures Week 15 3rd December 2014 Jungle Juice B v Buckleys JW Black v King Bar B Limelight v JW Red Pink Panther v All Nations GH Sabai v Jungle Juice A Tiger Bar v Chon Bar No match - JW Black
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cha am POOL LEAGUE
results Week 12 20th November 2014 Butterfly Bar 1 v Butterfly bar 2 n/a Cha Cha Bar1 v blue lagoon n/a My-Bar v Cha Cha Bar2 n/a Pim Bar v 69-Sixtynine Bar n/a FIXTURES Week 14 4th December 2014 69-Sixtynine Bar v Butterfly bar 2 Butterfly Bar 1 v My-Bar Cha Cha Bar1 v Cha Cha Bar2 Pim Bar v blue lagoon
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League tablE Team Cha Cha Bar1 My-Bar Pim Bar Cha Cha Bar2 69 Bar Butterfly Bar 1 Butterfly bar 2 blue lagoon
P W D L +/10 6 2 2 16 10 2 5 3 -8 10 5 3 2 8 10 4 4 2 14 10 1 6 3 -6 10 2 6 2 -4 10 0 8 2 -6 10 0 6 4 -14
Pts 14 9 13 12 8 10 8 6
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hash house harriers - A drinking Club with a running and walking Problem!
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The Cha-Am and Hua Hin Hash House Harrier Clubs meet alternate Saturdays for around an hours run/walk in the countryside followed by a social gathering. If you would like to come along then visit the new single website at http://www. h2h3-cah3.com or Facebook at www.facebook. com/H2H3CAH3 for full details and directions. People attending and participating do so entirely at their own risk. NEXT RUN Saturday 29th November 2014 @ 4.00 pm HUA HIN H3 Run #294 – St Andrews Run – Tartan Dress Code Location: Off Route 1010 – Chom Phol Road Google Map link: https://goo.gl/maps/gtppr GPS Coordinates: N 12.663214, E 99.909236 (N 12 39.793 E 99 54.554). From Hua Hin or Cha Am via By-pass: https:// goo.gl/maps/p0zTf Make your way on the by-pass to the Chom Phol Road (Route 1010) located between Km Markers 16 & 17. From Hua Hin turn RIGHT, from Cha-Am turn LEFT, and then continue on Route 1010 for 3.2 km and turn RIGHT (HHH sign) and continue a further 600 m to run site on LEFT. From Hua Hin or Cha-Am via Phet Kasem Road: https://goo.gl/maps/HRZAz Make your way on Phet Kasem Road to the Chom Phol Road (Route 1010) located near the 207 km marker. From Cha-Am turn make a U-turn after passing the Chom Phol Road and head back towards Cha-Am. As for those from Hua Hin turn LEFT onto Chom Phol Road and continue for 4.9 km. Turn LEFT (HHH sign) after passing the Animal Protection Centre. Drive 600 m to car park on LEFT HARES – Brambles Bill & Scotch Tape, SNACKS by Miss Snickers. ON ON ON: unknown. Fees: Male Drinkers ฿200, Female Drinkers ฿150, Teetotalers ฿100, kids ฿50, under 8’s Free. Your effort to bring the CORRECT change would be very much appreciated.
HUA HIN DARTS LEAGUE
results The season is over.
Darts supplies 087 155 7737 Brisal Dartboard now available!
10% OFF FOR DARTS LEAGUE PLAYERS
League table Team Jungle Juice CAT Jiggapik URS TREFF URS TREFF 2 The Clansmen HHin Miss You 1 O’Neills Johnny’s 56 Robin’s Rest Chill Chill Bar
P 18 17 17 17 16 17 18 18 17 17
W 16 15 14 10 7 7 6 6 3 0
D 0 0 0 1 2 1 0 0 0 0
L 2 2 3 6 7 9 12 12 14 17
+/172 174 168 18 -44 -52 -52 -72 -106 -206
Pts 32 30 28 21 16 15 12 12 6 0
fixtures Details of the new league will appear here when available. Season summary: League Winners: Cat Jiggapik Runners up: Jungle Juice Cup Winners: Jungle Juice Runners up: URS TREFF 1 Singles Winner: Golf URS TREFF 1 Runner up: David Hughes Jungle Juice
hua hin city F.C
results CHAMPIONS League GROUP A 4th October 2014 Prachuap FC 5 - 1 Hua Hin City 25th October 2014 Hua Hin City 3 - 0 Prachin Buri 2nd November 2014 Hua Hin City 2 - 0 Udon Thani FC 9th November 2014 BCC-Tero 2 - 0 Hua Hin City 15th November 2014 Hua Hin City 3 - 1 FC Phichit 22nd November 2014 Phichit FC 4 - 0 Hua Hin City 26th November 2014 Hua Hin City 3 - 0 BCC-Tero FIXTURES CHAMPIONS League GROUP A 30th November 2014 Udon Thani FC v Hua Hin City 7th December 2014 Prachin Buri v Hua Hin City 14th December 2014 Hua Hin City v Prachuap FC One of our readers, Kevin, is organising transport to some of these games; if you are interested please call him on 085 185 0297 Thai Division 2 Regional League Champions league group a Table TEAM Phichit Prachuap Hua Hin Udon Thani BCC Tero Prachinburi
P W D 7 4 0 7 4 0 7 4 0 7 3 1 7 3 1 7 2 0
L 3 3 3 3 3 5
GD PTs +5 12 +4 12 +0 12 +0 10 -1 10 -8 6
Hua Hin City Football Club is the local professional team for the area formed in 2011. They currently play their home matches at the Kai Tanarat Stadium in Pranburi.
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football news
Bobby’s Bar
kicked off by bobby’s bar fixtures
(all times Thailand) Saturday 29th November 2014 PREMIER LEAGUE West Brom v Arsenal 19:45 Burnley v Aston Villa 22:00 Liverpool v Stoke 22:00 Man Utd v Hull 22:00 QPR v Leicester 22:00 Swansea v Crystal Palace 22:00 West Ham v Newcastle 22:00 CHAMPIONSHIP Charlton v Ipswich 19:15 Birmingham v Nottm Forest 22:00 Bolton v Huddersfield 22:00 Bournemouth v Millwall 22:00 Brentford v Wolves 22:00 Brighton v Fulham 22:00 Leeds v Derby 22:00 M’boro v Blackburn 22:00 Norwich v Reading 22:00 Rotherham v Blackpool 22:00 Sheff Wed v Wigan 22:00 Watford v Cardiff 22:00 SCOTTISH CUP - FOURTH ROUND Dundee v Aberdeen 19:15 Bo’ness United v Arbroath 20:30 Alloa v Hibernian 22:00 Annan Athletic v Brechin 22:00 Berwick v Albion 22:00 Falkirk v Cowdenbeath 22:00 Motherwell v Dundee Utd 22:00 Partick Thistle v Hamilton 22:00 Queen of Sth v Brora Rangers 22:00 Spartans FC v Morton 22:00 St Johnstone v Ross County 22:00 St Mirren v Inverness CT 22:00 Stirling v Raith Rovers 22:00 Stranraer v Dunfermline 22:00 Sunday 30th November 2014 PREMIER LEAGUE Sunderland v Chelsea 00:30 Southampton v Man City 20:30 Tottenham v Everton 23:00 SCOTTISH CUP - FOURTH ROUND Rangers v Kilmarnock 19:15 Hearts v Celtic 22:15
english premier league table 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20
Team Chelsea Southampton Man City Man Utd Newcastle West Ham Swansea Arsenal Everton Tottenham Stoke Liverpool West Brom Sunderland Crystal Palace Aston Villa Hull Leicester Burnley QPR
P 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12
GD 19 18 11 4 -1 4 3 5 3 -1 -2 -3 -4 -7 -4 -11 -3 -7 -12 -12
PTS 32 26 24 19 19 18 18 17 17 17 15 14 13 13 12 12 11 10 10 8
Featured Game
Saturday 29th November 2014 PREMIER LEAGUE West Ham v Newcastle 22:00 Two teams that struggled last season and whose fans were vocal in their disapproval of the manager, find themselves in the top six this season, just proving once again what a funny old game football is. Credit should be given to both managers for turning things around, and their respective owners who stuck by them. West Ham were unlucky last week to lose to Everton, and will be hoping that several players will be back from injury, while Newcastle continued their fine recent form, albeit with a narrow win over struggling QPR. We expect this to be a highly entertaining game with both teams going for the win, which makes it difficult to call, but we think home advantage will just edge it for West Ham.
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Soi 102, Hua Hin (200m on right after railway) fantasy premier league
If you wish to take part in the Fantasy or Predictor leagues please contact info@ awolonline.net for instructions. AWOL CHALLENGE TABLE 2014/2015 Team GW 1 Lost Cafe 74 2 Hua Hin Utd 52 3 Free Rolf City 47 4 Wanderlust United 33 5 Mr ChaAming 52 6 Red & Blue Bangers 45 7 Waste of money 52 8 Let’s be avin you 45 9 Dunne’s Destroyers 52 10 Fingers Clayton 51 11 Pensioners 37 12 xxdroggiesbackxxx 50 13 FC Mukdahan 35 14= Sammy Doo Racing 54 14= *@>‹*≠ FC 54 16 headless chickens 38 17 AWOL Wanderers 36 18 Thailand Silkmen 38 19 Eric 30 20 Portsmouth City 61 21 Dans Demons 32 22 Madrid Spurs 33 23 FC OK 51
TOT 669 664 640 635 627 617 615 610 606 593 583 568 548 538 532 528 526 502 465 464 460 434 409
premier league predictor
23 AWOL CHALLENGE EPL PREDICTION TABLE Player TOT GW livinginlos 0 181 1 17 177 2 AWOL 0 141 3 oskar 0 140 4 Mr Blobby Green 0 131 5 kevharris2502 Please enter predictions at least a couple of hours before the first match of the week kicks off.
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little donkey Brendan Rodgers to drop Jesus from Melwood nativity scene
liverpool, england Liverpool manager Brendan Rodgers has angered Christian fans by dropping Jesus from the clubs Christmas nativity scene, insisting He be kept fresh for Easter. The Northern-Irishman, who chose controversially to leave out several regulars from his starting XI for his side’s Champions League clash three weeks ago with Real Madrid, played down the Son of God’s role in the religious feast. “The boy Jesus, He’s been picked for every Christmas period for the last 2,000 years, so we felt it was a good time to give him some rest and give someone else a run-out this time round,” he told reporters. “Being a regular starter in the Nativity, albeit with superhuman abilities known to bring men back from the dead, shouldn’t mean we take away opportunities from other, more fallible examples of God’s creations. Particularly if those in question symbolise the wasting of tens of millions
Above: Rumours are that Mario Balotelli will play the Baby Jesus this year
of pounds.” Rodgers continued, “Easter is obviously a far more important fixture in the Gregorian calendar, where He took the sort of almighty flaying I saved for my very best players with the home clash against Chelsea, and last weekend’s game against Crystal Palace. It makes perfect sense.” A club spokesman, who wished to remain nameless, suggested the club’s board
were less than happy at his decision to omit Jesus from the side’s seasonal celebrations. “Leaving Jesus of Nazareth out of the Nativity is tantamount to playing a European Champion away from home and your manager dropping your club captain to the bench.” “Oh. Right.”
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