AWOL Issue 323

Page 1

English Corner

Your free weekly newspaper since 2008

issue 3 23 3 April 2015

Page 3 Weird News Classifieds Tall Poppy Syndrome

a load of rubbish

mangrove project gets support from trash to treasure art exhibition

hua hin, THAILAND In collaboration with the Preserve Hua Hin Group, Webster University’s School of Communications’ ‘Special Events’ students are holding the event ‘Trash to Treasure’, a green communication campaign to support the rehabilitation, preservation and development of MEPSEC Hua Hin (Mangrove Ecosystem Preservation & Science Education Center). This event will attempt to influence the perception of waste materials and responsible disposal behaviour of the local community including schools and businesses in Hua Hin. Local Hua Hin schools as well as Webster University students will submit their best artwork created solely from waste materials, in a community exhibition and competition to be held on Saturday, 4th of April 2015, from 2 – 4PM, at the Baan Sillapin Artists Village in Hua Hin. The artwork is going to be judged by professional artists with prizes for the winners. The organisers would be delighted if readers would join them as they work to make a change in the current state of the environment and express the need for sustainable development in the last remaining urban mangrove ecosystem in Hua Hin at Khao Klai Lart. Sponsors of the event are Chiva Som International Health Resort and Spa, Centara Grand Hotel, Rotary club of Royal Hua Hin, SKAL, Vana Nava Water Park and the Rotoract Club. Brian Anderson, Sustainable Development Manager, Chiva-Som International Health resort and spa stated, “Preserve Hua Hin is dedicated to enriching and enhancing the richness of the natural environment in Hua Hin. We’re proud to be associated with the outstanding work being carried out by the Webster communications department’s special Events team. This is a great example of young people from several countries really giving back to the community”

Victor’s

open 24/7

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victorguesthouse@gmail.com 032 511564 60 Naresdamri Road, Hua Hin

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EVERY ADVERT IN AWOL IS SEEN BY more than 4000 people, online and in print every week

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LA TERRASSE NEW

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AWOL PAGE 3

BROUGHT TO YOU BY easy car rental keeping you fully covered

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AWOL with Suje Photos coutesy of Haribo

BAR & RESTAURANT

HAPPY HOUR! 1 - 7pm Sangsom + mixer 40 baht Wine 55 baht Large domestic beers 65 baht

BBQ, Ribs, Chops, Burgers, Snacks etc Eat In or Take Out Air con, Pool table, Draft Leo

Large domestic beers 110 baht

Live Band Thurs & Saturday 7pm on Live Jams every Monday LIVE SPORTS TV including Premier League Football Open every day from 1pm - late

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Located off the canal road north of the traffic lights; turn left at the blue bridge after the petrol station and right before the 7-11. We are about 100m up on the right.

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WEATHER

Call 081 649 8361 Email sales@awolonline.net

AND TIDES World weather (3-4-15)

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CITY Amsterdam Ankara Athens Auckland Beijing Berlin Buenos Aires Cairo Chicago Copenhagen Dubai Dublin Geneva Helsinki Ho Chi Minh City Hong Kong Islamabad Jakarta Jerusalem Johannesburg Karachi Kuala Lumpur London Madrid Manila Mexico City Moscow Mumbai New Delhi New York Oslo Paris Perth Phnom-Penh Rio De Janeiro Riyadh Rome San Francisco Seoul Shanghai Singapore Stockholm Sydney Taibei/Taipei Tokyo Vancouver Vientiane Yangon Zurich

Min. Max. Weather 5 9 Rain 8 12 Rain 9 19 Cloudy 14 23 Cloudy 6 17 Fine 2 7 Showers 18 32 Cloudy 15 23 Haze 14 19 Showers -1 7 Cloudy 21 28 Partly Cloudy 7 9 Rain 4 9 Rain 0 5 Overcast 27 34 Bright 23 26 Partly Cloudy 13 21 Chance of Rain 24 33 Rain 9 16 Cloudy 15 27 Cloudy 25 31 Haze 25 33 Thunderstorms 7 9 Cloudy 5 22 Fine 26 33 Bright 13 27 Thunderstorms 0 8 Snow 20 34 Fine 18 33 Thunderstorms 3 17 Fine -3 8 Clear 7 12 Rain 17 28 Clear 27 37 Clear 21 29 Mist 19 31 Clear 7 17 Fine 10 20 Fine 9 19 Cloudy 15 17 Rain 24 33 Thunderstorms -1 9 Mostly Cloudy 19 28 Showers 20 31 Fine 9 18 Cloudy 5 11 Overcast 24 39 Clear 24 37 Clear 4 8 Rain

Local Forecast AND TIDES Rain (mm) Conditions Temp. °C: High Low Tides: High Low Saturday Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday

0 0 0 0 0 0 0

Plenty of sunshine Sunny to partly cloudy Plenty of sunshine Partly sunny Sunny Plenty of sunshine Sun and some clouds

35 34 35 35 34 34 33

25 26 26 25 26 25 26

05:19/ 17:59 05:44/ 18:39 06:05/ 19:19 06:22/ 19:59 06:33/ 20:40 06:45/ 21:22 06:56/ 22:09

11:42/ 23:47 12:03 00:26/ 12:26 01:01/ 12:51 01:36/ 13:18 02:11/ 13:48 02:47/ 14:19

thailand weather (2-4-15) Place Temp. Hum. Conditions Aranyaprathet 37 °C 33% Scattered Clds Bangkok 37 °C 30% Scattered Clds Bhumibol Dam 38 °C 29% Scattered Clds Bua Chum 38 °C 19% Clear Chaiyaphum 38 °C 23% Haze Chanthaburi 31 °C 70% Scattered Clds Chiang Mai 36 °C 18% Partly Cloudy Chiang Rai 34 °C 36% Scattered Clds Chumphon 35 °C 47% Scattered Clds Hat Yai 35 °C 36% Scattered Clds Kam Paeng Phet 36 °C 28% Scattered Clds Kanchanaburi 39 °C 13% Scattered Clds Khanom 33 °C 63% Mostly Cloudy Khlong Yai 31 °C 70% Scattered Clds Khon Kaen 37 °C 29% Scattered Clds Ko Lanta 34 °C 52% Partly Cloudy Ko Samui 33 °C 63% Mostly Cloudy Ko Sichang 34 °C 46% Scattered Clds Krabi 34 °C 52% Partly Cloudy Laemchabang 34 °C 46% Scattered Clds Lampang 36 °C 28% Scattered Clds Lamphun 37 °C 14% Partly Cloudy Loei 36 °C 25% Partly Cloudy Lop Buri 37 °C 30% Scattered Clds Mae Hong Son 37 °C 16% Partly Cloudy Mae Sariang 36 °C 22% Haze Mae Sot 35 °C 32% Scattered Clds Mukdahan 38 °C 24% Partly Cloudy Nakhon Phanom 38 °C 24% Partly Cloudy Nakhon Ratch. 34 °C 40% Partly Cloudy Nakhon Sawan 38 °C 19% Haze Nakhon Si Tham. 34 °C 56% Scattered Clds Nan 37 °C 21% Overcast

Place Temp. Hum. Conditions Narathiwat 32 °C 61% Scattered Clds Nong Khai 38 °C 31% Partly Cloudy Pattani 34 °C 36% Scattered Clds Pattaya 30 °C 70% Scattered Clds Phayao 34 °C 36% Scattered Clds Phetchabun 36 °C 28% Scattered Clds Phetchaburi 33 °C 66% Partly Cloudy Phitsanulok 36 °C 28% Scattered Clds Phrae 37 °C 24% Mostly Cloudy Phuket 32 °C 66% Mostly Cloudy Prachin Buri 37 °C 30% Scattered Clds Prachuap K.khan 33 °C 66% Partly Cloudy Ranong 33 °C 52% Scattered Clds Rayong 30 °C 79% Scattered Clds Roi Et 39 °C 23% Scattered Clds Sakon Nakhon 36 °C 36% Haze Sattahip 30 °C 70% Scattered Clds Satun 35 °C 36% Scattered Clds Songkhla 32 °C 59% Mostly Cloudy Suphan Buri 37 °C 30% Scattered Clds Surat Thani 36 °C 47% Scattered Clds Surin 37 °C 29% Mostly Cloudy Tak 38 °C 29% Scattered Clds Takua Pa 32 °C 66% Mostly Cloudy Tha Tum 35 °C 41% Mostly Cloudy Tha Wang Pha 37 °C 21% Overcast Thong Pha Phum 36 °C 20% Haze Trang 34 °C 59% Thunderstorm Ubon Ratchathani 39 °C 33% Scattered Clds Udon Thani 38 °C 29% Partly Cloudy Uttaradit 38 °C 29% Scattered Clds Wichian Buri 36 °C 27% Haze

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s &S Indian

Soi 94 Certificate of Excellence restaurant 2012, 2013, 2014 Curries from only 90 baht Eat in or takeaway 081 455 5298 Capricorn Dec 22 - Jan 19 You’ll experience a breathtaking whirlwind romance this week when it’s endlessly recounted by a long- winded co-worker. Aquarius Jan 20 – Feb 18 You’ve avoided throwing the baby out with the bathwater. However, you’re now left with the problem of how to dispose of a clean but rapidly drying baby. Pisces Feb 19 – Mar 20 You won’t be thanked for helping to solve a major social problem when people decide to give all the credit to the guy who made the bumper sticker. ARIES Mar 21 - Apr 20 The inexorable power of destiny would render you powerless to stop the fateful events of next week, were anything ever to actually happen to you.

Taurus Apr 21 – May 21 You’ve always believed you should go with your gut in important matters, which is why every major decision in your life has been accompanied by chilicheese fries. Gemini May 22 – June 21 Although you’ve always claimed you’d quit when you thought you’d reached your peak, you’ll find it easy to keep going when no one seems to think you’ll ever improve. Cancer Jun 22 – Jul 22 You take pride in being able to take whatever life throws at you, but you really weren’t expecting this many opossums. Leo Jul 23 – Aug 22 After all you’ve been through, it’s nice to know that lightning doesn’t strike twice. Strangely, it turns out that’s not true for falling safes or pianos.

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Virgo Aug 23 – Sep 22 You’ve tried leaving poems at the scene, leaving signature marks, and only working on Sundays, but the papers insist on merely calling you “The Nicknameless Killer.” Libra Sep 23 – Oct 23 You’ve always had a strong fightor-flight reflex, which turns out to be completely useless when negotiating for the best price on a bedroom set. Scorpio Oct 24 – Nov 21 You’ve finally risen to the top of your profession only to find the world’s other 450,000 deep-fryer operators are pretty much there, too. Sagittarius Nov 22 – Dec 21 You’re really getting tired of the meme of the dead hooker in the trunk, as no one ever seems to acknowledge how much work the whole situation can be.

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Public House and restaurant

new! kepplers irish cider

on draught just 160 baht a pint Plus thatchers cider in bottles all day breakfast from 8.30am sunday roast available every day childrens menu Our rooms are currently being renovated large outside sun terrace and free WIFI www.buffalobillshuahin.com

info@buffalobillshuahin.com

Located on the corner of Chomsin/ Naresdamri rd by the fishing pier For bookings or more information call 085 291 8685, 080 727 4710 or fax 032 530087

Call 082 298 0500 or 081 649 8361 Property Email realestate@luckyhuahin.com or property@awolonline.net Marketplace new pool villas in south hua hin

Price: from 3.9 m baht for 2 bed to 6.8 m baht for 3 bed Ref No. 032553

7 design options Sun Roof Decks Easy access to town Full Air Con Packs Clubhouse 24 hour security

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gated community with great facilities

Price: from 2.7m baht

Ref No. 032583

Underground utilities Private pool 8km from town 2, 3 or 4 bedrooms Living: from 91 sqm Land: from 300 sqm

stunning L shaped borfai bungalow

Price: 6.9 m baht

3 Bedrooms 4 Bathrooms European kitchen Outdoor Thai kitchen Living: 430 sqm. Land: 884 sqm. or 2,304 sqm. for 10.9m baht

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peaceful 3 bed villa in s/w hua hin

Price: 9.3 m baht

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Ref No. 032582

Euro fitted kitchen Private pool Convenient location 3 bedrooms Separate Annexe Land: 600 sqm


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Bobby’s British Breakfast Foods UK Sausages, Ham, Bacon, Pies, Teas etc. Call 087 155 7737 or 089 985 7473

SERVED UP BY...

A section for all you budding etymologists where each week the origin of a word or phrase is investigated. This week it is..... Hush puppies A type of suede shoes. Also, in the USA, a form of cornbread fritter. Hush Puppies in the culinary sense are balls of fried seasoned cornbread. They have been popular in the southern states of the USA, often eaten with fried fish, and possibly known since the 18th century. The first reference to the term in print come quite late, but that’s not entirely surprising as few people would have had any reason to write the name down. In Dialect Notes, 1918: “Hushpuppy, a sort of bread prepared very quickly and without salt.” By 1947 the US magazine This Week had printed what amounts to a basic recipe: “What’s a hush puppy? You mean you don’t know that Southern fried bread like a miniature corn pone - but glorified? It’s made of the white cornmeal of the South, smooth and fine as face powder.” There are many stories about the origin of the term. None of these come complete with any supporting evidence so, unlike the early hushpuppies themselves, have to be taken with a pinch of salt. Two of the most commonly

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repeated stories are: If Confederate soldiers detected Yankee soldiers approaching, they would quieten their barking dogs by throwing them the fried cornmeal balls. In the southern USA, salamanders were called “water dogs” or “water puppies”. These were eaten as part of poor people’s diet - deep-fried with cornmeal. They were given the name hush puppies as eating such humble food wasn’t something people wanted to discuss. Hush Puppy shoes were produced by the US shoe company Wolverine World Wide from 1958 onward. The company had developed a method of tanning pigskin and were looking for an outlet for the soft pigskin suede. It is reported that the name was coined by Jim Muir, the company’s Sales Manager. He noticed that a friend’s dogs were quietened by giving them corn hush puppies and, knowing that aching feet were called barking dogs, thought that ‘Hush Puppies’ would be a good name for the shoes. The ‘barking dogs’ phrase was well-known in the USA by 1958, so the story is plausible at least, although it can only be reported here as hearsay. The shoes were heavily marketed from 1958, as this example from the Oakland Tribune that year shows. Ironically, the shoes themselves have crepe soles that often squeak loudly on hard flooring. Is there an English phrase or saying that you would like to know more about? Email it to us on submissions@awolonline.net

Power Of Love Church

HELP NEEDED FOR THE SLUMS IN HUA HIN We are working to help the Slums of Hua Hin and would love to have you deliver your goods with us, so you know your donation is going directly to those who need it. We need secondhand items, clothes and household goods. Why not join us and come to the slums with us? We leave from our offices at 17:20 Every Tuesday evening. Visit us any day, on Soi 88, over the railway, 200m up on the left, 2nd floor above IQ hair dressers Facebook@Power of Love Church Tel K. Andrew 080 999 3603 K. Panaya 092 592 3604 (Thai) (Services every Sunday 10 am at Hilton Resort and Spa)

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THE AWOL NOTICEBOARD

and? in thail driving nal Internatio valid cence driving li 800 bt. 5 years 1 Call ) 771 (Eng 8 0 3 5 9 8 0

LE ? A S R S FO on

NES n ad BUSI not place a this size hy rd a W ticebo t per week o N e h th 50 ba 4 weeks) 1 t s u j mum (mini

get noticed!

Place an ad on the AW OL Noticeboard, available in four sizes: Small - 100 baht per w eek Medium - 150 baht pe r week Big - 300 baht per wee k Large (this note) - 50 0 baht per week All ads are a minimum of 4 weeks Contact sales@awolon line.net or call 081 649 8361

ALC ANO OHOL If yo NYM ICS that’ u want t OUS s o

Call if yo your bu drink, to s u wa s p Dav nt to iness, ies - eak to w e Hen stop 0870 an A can r Lore ick - 087 620 09 A mem help. , ber: n-0 8 9 81 0 083 28 5 w 07 6 Me ww.a 856 gs e athaila very n day d.org in H ua H

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TELL EVERYONE ABOUT THE HAPPY HOUR EVERY DAY AT YOUR BAR

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Open every day except Sunday 3pm ‘til late

Free Wi-Fi, Great Food

Pool, Live Sports, Darts

Meet Old Friends, Make New Ones

in our new location on Soi 94 (350m up on the left after the railway)

Contact us on 085 266 4153

Want to place a Classified ad in AWOL? Increase your chances of selling by placing it on our online Classifieds at no extra charge! All approved ads placed online will be in the next issue of the paper Go to www.awolonline.net/classifieds or email us on classifieds@awolonline.net for more information

LAND AND PROPERTY FOR SALE IN PRANBURI/PAK NAM PRAN LAND HOUSE/LAND 45 RAI (72,000 sqm) in Pak Nam Pran 2.2m baht per rai 2 RAI 392 SQ. WAH (4768 sqm) in Pranburi 3.8m baht

1 RAI 46 SQ. WAH (1784 sqm) in Pranburi 3.8m baht

Please call 081 614 8728 Join the AWOL forum

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get this ad size for ฿380 a week*

Call 081 649 8361 Email sales@awolonline.net *when booked for 13 weeks

Each week we have an easy and a hard Sudoku puzzle. Just fill in the empty squares so that each horizontal and vertical line, and each section, has all the numbers 1 to 9.

Last issue’s solutions Puzzle 2

Puzzle 2 (Hard)

Puzzle 1

Puzzle 1 (Easy)

AWOL Sudoku

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EXPAT INSURANCE SOLUTIONS Health (up to 85), Car, Motorbike, House, Commercial. Full medical cover for expats worldwide Travel insurance specialist (including as required for Schenghen visas) Soi 94, last unit on left before railway

085 962 2232 or 032 512075 franckracinesiamconsulting@gmail.com www.siam-consulting.asia www.asiaexpatinsurance.com

ALL NATIONS

hua hin

guesthouse and bar 12 rooms from 350 baht a night free wifi for guests 032 512747

allnationshuahin@ gmail.com Drop your AWOL Classifieds in here

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Send your jokes to submissions@ awolonline.net and get your name in print!

little thelma Little Thelma comes home from first grade and tells her father that they learned about the history of Valentine’s Day. “Since Valentine’s Day is for a Christian saint and we’re Jewish,” she asks, “Will God get mad at me for giving someone a valentine? Thelma’s father thinks a bit then says “No, I don’t think God would get mad. Who do you want to give a valentine to?” “The Isis group,” she says. “Why them?” her father asks in shock. “Well,” she says, “I thought that if a little American Jewish girl could have enough love to give them a valentine, they might start to think that maybe we’re not all bad, and maybe start loving people a little bit. And if other kids saw what I did and then they sent valentines to them, they’d love everyone a lot. And then they’d start going all over the place telling everyone how much they loved them and how they didn’t hate anyone anymore.” Her father’s heart swells and he looks at his daughter with newfound pride.

Safe Storage Available Bicycle, Motorbike, Suitcase, Bags, Boxes, Furniture From Only 100 Baht per Month Contact David 092 927 7207

“Thelma, that’s the most wonderful thing I’ve ever heard.” “I know,” Thelma says, “and once that gets them out in the open, the Marines could blow the crap out of them.” bucket The weather was very hot and this man wanted desperately to take a dive in a nearby lake. He didn’t bring his swimming outfit, but who cared? He was all alone. So he undressed and got into the water. After some delightful minutes of cool swimming, a pair of old ladies walked onto the shore in his direction. He panicked, got out of the water and grabbed a bucket lying in the sand nearby. He held the bucket in front of his private parts and sighed with relief. The ladies got nearby and looked at him. He felt awkward and wanted to move. Then one of the ladies said: ‘You know , I have a special gift, I can read minds.’ ‘Impossible’, said the embarrassed man, ‘You really know what I think?’ ‘Yes’, the lady replied, ‘Right now, I bet you think that the bucket you’re holding has a bottom.’

New Restaurant & Bakery in Samorphrong OPEN from 9am - 9pm closed tuesdays

Tropical Hill

Not to scale

Samorphrong

Directions: From Hua Hin go north on the Klong (Canal) Road through the traffic lights and turn left at the blue bridge with the water tower next to it, then immediately right before the 7-11. Follow this road for approximately 1.5 km and you will find us on the right opposite Tropical Hill.

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7-11 School

Blue bridge Mr Bean Petrol

Klong Road

Contact us on 093 139 9655 food@passportcafehuahin.com See our menu on passportcafehuahin.com and our Facebook page Passport-Cafe

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1.5 km from blue bridge

Canal

Delicious Home Cooked Western & Thai Food Breakfasts Fresh Bread Baked Daily Sunday Pot Roast starts 6pm (includes a glass of wine or small beer and dessert for just 225 baht) Specials Every Day from 6pm Free Wi-Fi - Easy Parking

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Lawyer Hua Hin buy, sell, rent or lease, this is the place to do it with ease

Business For sale , Restaurant & company, An established restaurant on soi 94, Well equipped, 28 seats all tables 80 /80 A complete business all work done, Rolling lease 16,000 per calendar month, priced to sell 800,000 baht, contact 0881867495 thai- 0911952560 eng Business for sale. MASSAGE. Professional Massage,Beauty and Hair Salon on Soi Bintabaht. High income with many regular, repeat clients. Huge potential client increase from new Complex opposite Salon. Genuine, accurate sales records available. Contact CHEETAHS for all information. Falang looking for business opportunity or partner in Hua Hin / Cha Am. Willing to buy, rent, invest / share or start up. Anyone with good idea please call on 08441 33761 or email paulkr20@hotmail.com established restaurant/bar for sale. Prime location in Khao Takiab near Wora-Bora and Amari Hotels. 3 year rolling lease paid up to Sept. 2015 (15,000 baht/month), 2 eating areas/bar, 2 kitchens, 5 bedrooms, 5 bathrooms and private lounge upstairs, all clean and maintained. Price includes stock, appliances, equipment, furniture etc. 1.1m baht o.n.o. E-mail howard_coates56@yahoo.co.uk tel. 090 445 5806 for details. wanted guesthouse/hotel within 400m of beach near central Hua Hin. Call 081 817 3000

SERVICES do you offer a service and want to reach thousands of people in the Hua Hin area? Then why not place an ad here telling everyone about it! Prices are just 500 baht for 4 weeks or our great value 13 week deal for 1000 baht. Call 081 649 8361, email classifieds@awolonline.net or place your ad on our website www.awolonline. net/classifieds

Employment Staff wanted feMale waitress staff wanted full training given; MUST HAVE A BRAIN!! Email info@ buffalobillshuahin.com or call 080 727 4710 guesthouse requires staff - maid, daytime and nighttime staff and security guard. Please call 081 817 3000 or 087 155 6115

No Win No Fee

www.legalserviceshuahin.com General Electronic Hobbyists and Other Makers in Hua Hin! I know that there are people in town (besides me) who work with electronics, microcontrollers, electromechanical stuff, and general DIY. I’d like to connect up to share ideas, etc. Please do respond and let me know who you are! We could have a lot of fun together… garyhall771@ gmail.com One almost new single bed and very good mattress medium, only in use for 30 days can be yours for only 2800 bht! New price was 5500 bht! Email Balslv@yahoo.dk House/Dog sitter Available Mature NZ teacher working in Hua Hin available medium to long-term. Keen gardener and passionate dog lover/walker. Ph Nancy 0891379758

General - sports palm hills golf membership for sale, 7 years left, any reasonable offer accepted. Call Peter on 087 929 6683 or email sib-1@hotmail.com golf clubs for sale with bag and wheeled travel bag; Callaway Steelhead X-14 pitching wedge, sand iron and 3 to 9 irons, Callaway Big Bertha Fusion FT-3 9° Graphite Driver, Lynx Black Cat Titanium Metal Woods 1 (10.5°) and 3 (13°) all three with head covers, System 3 by JC Snead Pitching Wedge 50°, Ping and Zebra putters. To be sold as one for 7,000 baht or any reasonable offer. Call 032 523604. Golf membership for sale Lake View 100,000 baht includes transfer call Doug 094482 5968 Lake View golf membership for sale. 8 years, 85.000bt. Plus transfer 13.000bt. Phone Tony, 0876947289. Springfield Golf Membership Springfield Hua Hin-Sell 15 years family golf membership started November 23,2006 and still valid for 7 years from now. Price 70,000 baht + transfer. Contact Claude Email: thaifran@gmail.com, Tel: 0851950615

Placing a classified with AWOL

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All adverts are free except adverts for Property For Rent or Sale, Business or Services and Auto. Free ads will be included for at least four weeks automatically. Please use our online Classifieds to enhance your chances of a successful ad. Option 1: register or log in at www.awolonline.net/classifieds and place your advert there; Option 2: email to classifieds@awolonline.net; Option 3: write the details clearly in BLOCK capitals on paper and deliver to staff at All Nations Hua Hin, Dechanuchit Road. The deadline for guaranteed inclusion in that week’s issue is 6pm on Tuesday. Please notify us if your advert is no longer needed. Business, Services and property for sale or rent Rates: Up to 50 words: 500 baht for 4 issues, 1000 baht for 13 issues. Additional words charged at 20 baht per word. Example: 60 words charged at 500 plus (10 x 20)=700 baht for 4 issues, or 1000 plus (10 x 20)=1200 for 13 issues. Please note that paid ads placed online can have up to 750 words and 3 images depending on which plan is selected. There is also a fixed fee and/or commission deal available for Property - please contact property@awolonline.net or realestate@ luckyhuahin.com for details. Auto Rates: Items priced up to 10,000 baht, 13 issues for 500 baht. Items priced over 10,000 baht, 13 issues for 1000 baht. Maximum 50 words for all ads; unpriced items pay the higher rate. Contact classifieds@awolonline.net for further information or to place an advert.

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THE AWOL FORUM www.awolonline.net/forum

Games, discussions, announcements, jokes, videos, information, sports, local and international topics and more Join up, log in and tell us what you think!

Register and log in with popular social network or email accounts or create a unique AWOL account free auto: 3 wheels & LESS

Property wanted

honda scoopy blue and white, fuel injected 2012 28,000 baht. Call 081 817 3000

auto: 4 wheels pluS Wanted 2/3 year old 4 door auto truck any make :Contact Cliff Mobile number 0898 4333 47 suzuki carry flatbed van 4 years old, one owner, dual fuel (LPG and regular) system, custom built cage for flatbed. Price 199,000 baht or best offer. Please call for more details to 081 614 8728 (Thai or English).

Wanted Looking for tennis partner (or joining a team of 4), 1 or 2 times a week. Medium level. Robert tel. 098 356 2290

Property for sale Lovely Khao Takiab Condo For Sale. Two bedrooms, two bathrooms condo located in Jamchuree II building – Khao Takiab. 10th floor – 90 square meters (terrace 10 square meters) – great beach and mountain view. Nicely cosy arranged, many cupboards — Fully furnished – including TV & radio/CD DVD – washing machine, cooking equipments – air cond in all rooms – full kitchen equipped – very good condition – ready to settle in. Quiet condo, very close to the beach, large swimming pool (two swimming pools), fitness room – low charges including cleaning once a week – shops and restaurants nearby. Price 6.6 M THB. Contact : jcsorin@yahoo. fr /0886324910 POOL VILLAS on small development at great prices in Hua Hin; from 3.49m baht. Go to luckyhuahin.com or call 089 530 8771 for details. Fully furnished villa 3 bed off Canal Road; 5.7m baht. Go to www.awolonline. net/property or luckyhuahin.com or call 089 530 8771 for details. european style villa, 3 bed, 2 bath between Hua Hin and Cha Am; 5.2m baht. Go to www.awolonline.net/property or luckyhuahin.com or call 089 530 8771 for details. stunning L shaped Borfai bungalow; 6.9m baht. Go to www.awolonline.net/ property or luckyhuahin.com or call 089 530 8771 for details. large bungalow near town centre; 4.5m baht. Go to www.awolonline.net/ property or luckyhuahin.com or call 089 530 8771 for details. villa on large plot near Cha Am; 3.5m baht. Go to www.awolonline.net/property or luckyhuahin.com or call 089 530 8771 for details. POOL VILLAS on small development at great prices in Hua Hin; from 3.49m baht. Go to luckyhuahin.com or call 089 530 8771 for details. attractive house on small gated village; 3.6m baht. Go to luckyhuahin.com or call 089 530 8771 for details. Four Bed Villa On Stilts 4.9m baht. Go to www.awolonline.net/property or luckyhuahin.com or call 089 530 8771 for details. Fully furnished villa 3 bed off Canal Road; 5.7m baht. Go to www.awolonline. net/property or luckyhuahin.com or call 089 530 8771 for details. pool villa overlooking lake in Hua Hin, 2 bed; 6.9m baht. Go to www.awolonline. net/property or luckyhuahin.com or call 089 530 8771 for details. large house/land near Palm Hills, 4 bed; 4.5m baht.Go to www.awolonline.net/ property or luckyhuahin.com or call 089 530 8771 for details.

I am looking for a 3 bedroom villa on a secure private, completed development, with a swimming pool, close to Hua Hin and the beach, budget no more than 5m baht. For sale by the owner only. Contact 080 100 4194 long term rental properties wanted, particularly pool villas in good areas. Please contact Lucky Real Estate on 089 530 8771 or realestate@luckyhuahin.com

commercial property sunrise coast commercial properties - we have a variety of land, resorts and other commercial opportunities available in the Bang Saphan area. Contact 089 530 8771 for details.

property for Rent Rooms available in family run guesthouse from 3,000 baht a month. Apartments now available 7,000 baht a month. Weekly and daily rates available. Tiks Place at VIP Condo just north of Hua Hin airport, opposite Palm Hills. Please call David on 092 927 7207 or email davidhodgins@ymail.com for more information Well equipped 1 Bedroom condo for rent in Hua Hin. Condo newly renovated has A/C, washer/dryer, conv oven, microwave, refrigerator, induction cooker and many cooking utensils. King bed, two recliners, Plasma TV, dvd stereo, computer desk, glass shower and washer/spin dryer. 12,000 baht monthly or 10,000 baht per month for longterm lease, 6 months minimum. Reply to mandbear@icloud.com To view contact Hin Nam Sai Suay condo office in Soi 7. lovely House for rent on Palm Hills golf course; 20,000 baht per month (min. 6 months). More details on www.luckyhuahin.com or call 089 530 8771

announcements new! make your personal or business announcement here; Weddings, Birthdays, Funerals, Obituaries, Barmitzvahs, Parties, anything! Up to 50 words just 100 baht for two issues, up to 150 words plus a picture for 300 baht for two issues. Place ads and pay online on the Announcements board of the AWOL Forum at www.awolonline.net/ forum/index.php?board=16, or in person at our office, or by emailing us and transfering the payment to our bank. Contact submissions@awolonline.net for help or information.

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MONEY & INFORMATION

brought to you by www.remax.co.th/harmony

overseas calls information

Useful Numbers

REVERSE CHARGE CALLS The list below is the free number you need to call to connect to an operator of that country to request the reverse charge call. ARGENTINA 001-999-54-1000/ 2000 AUSTRALIA 001-999-61-1000/2000 AUSTRIA 001-800-28787421 BAHRAIN 001-999-973-1000 BRUNEI 001-999-673-1000 CANADA 001-999-15-1000/2000 DENMARK 001-999-45-1000 FRANCE 001-999-33-1000 GERMANY 001-999-49-1000 HAWAII 001-800-865-8424 HONG KONG 001-999-852-1086 INDONESIA 001-999-62-1000/2000 ISRAEL 001-999-972-1000/ 2000 ITALY 001-999-39-1000 JAPAN 001-999-811-0051 KOREA 001-999-82-1000/2000/2001 MACAU 001-999-853-1000 MALAYSIA 001-999-60-1000/4000/4001 MALTA 001-999-356-1000 MEXICO 001-999-52-1000 NEPAL 001-800-977-1-9999 NETHERLANDS 001-999-31-1035 NEW ZEALAND 001-999-64-1066 PHILIPPINES 001-999-63-1000/3000/6000 PORTUGAL 001-999-351-1000 RUSSIA 001-999-7-1000 SINGAPORE 001-999-65-0000/2008 SOUTH AFRICA 001-999-27-1000 SPAIN 001-999-34-1066 TAIWAN 001-999-886-1000 U.A.E. 001-999-971-1000 U.K. 001-999-44-1066 U.S.A. 001-999-1-1111/2001/2002 AWOL would like to thank the staff at CAT in Hua Hin for providing the above numbers. FREE CALLS If your mobile phone or device and that of the person you are calling supports it, you can use a number of apps to make free calls anywhere, with the best known being Skype and Viber. cheap calls The mobile phone operators offer special numbers to prefix an international number to get cheap rate international calls. More information call True 1331 AIS 1175 DTAC 1678

Police 191 Crime 195 Fire 199 Traffic Control Centre 197 Highway Police 1193 Tourist Police 1699 Tourist Service Centre 1155 Missing Persons 02 282 1815 Hua Hin Police Station 032 511 027 Hua Hin Tourist Police 032 516 219 Cha-Am Police Station 032 471 321 Bangkok Hospital Hua Hin 1719 Hua Hin Hospital 032 511 743 San Paulo Hospital 032 532 576 to 585 Hua Hin Red Cross 032 512 567 Hua Hin Municipality 032 532433 Hua Hin Tessabahn 032 511 047 Hua Hin Immigration Of. 032 520 616 Hua Hin Bus Terminal (non air-con) 032 511 230 (air-con) 032 511654, 512543 Hua Hin Railway Station 032 511 073 Tourist Information 032 513 885 Hua Hin Electricity 032 512 215 Electricity Call Centre 1129 Hua Hin Water 032 511 677 TOT 032 519 000/001 TT&T 032 532 018 CAT 032 511 350 Alcholics Anonymous 0870 620 098 Narcotics Anonymous 084 314 1928 Local radio hua hin skyweb 98.25 FM and online at www. huahinskywebradio.com featuring English DJ.Phil Keekuee from 11am - 1pm and 4 - 6pm Monday to Friday and 11am - 2pm and 3 - 6pm Saturdays

RE/MAX Harmony

Residential - Commercial - Investment Property Office: 032 511 740 E-mail: harmony@remax.co.th www.remax.co.th/harmony

Exchange Rates (25-3-15) TT Buying rate Currency Baht US Dollar 32.36 Pound Sterling 47.91 Euro 34.69 Japanese Yen 26.97 Malaysian Ringgit 8.20 Singapore Dollar 23.50 Brunei Dollar 22.77 Chinese Yuan 5.22 Indonesian Rupiah 2.32 Indian Rupee 0.47 Korean Won 0.03 Australian Dollar 24.55 New Zealand Dollar 24.09 Swiss Franc 33.17 Danish Krone 4.65 Norwegian Krone 4.01 Swedish Krona 3.75 Canadian Dollar 25.44 UAE Dirham 7.23 Bahrain Dinar 62.53 Omani Rial 61.57 Qatar Riyal 7.11 AWOL makes no warranties, express or implied, regarding these rates and shall not be liable for any losses or damages incurred in connection with them.

cryptic Crossword Solution

Local Consular Representatives CANADIAN Rick Pomerleau 087 153 3817 or e-mail on rickpomerleau@hotmail.com FINNISH Mr. Sipi Siljamaeki 087-911 8119 or e-mail: suthiporn.siljamaki@gmail.com AMERICAN Mr. Christopher Byrd 081-173 4469 or e-mail: chrs@tourdeasia.org

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weird NEWS

300m from Beautiful Beach

Only 40 mins from Hua Hin

indonesia Entire neighbourhood get high after police burn 3.3 tonnes of cannabis An entire neighbourhood accidentally got high after police burned 3.3 tonnes of seized cannabis. Officers in West Jakarta, Indonesia, sparked the pile of drugs on Wednesday. The smoke spread to nearby homes where locals suffered dizziness and headaches, reports asiaone.com. Police wore masks but those without succumbed to the powerful marijuana fumes. Nearly two kilograms of crystal methamphetamine and more than 2,500 ecstasy pills were also destroyed – but not with fire. world Stop everything! You can play Pac Man on Google Maps Your day just got ten times better. Get on Google Maps and click on that little Pac Man icon bottom right of the screen. Watch the streets transform into your very own arcade game and prepare to do no more work today. Normal rules apply, and it even comes complete with original music and that sweet ‘wooo wooo’ sound when you die (you know the one). The search engine giant has so far remained tight-lipped on why it’s decided to share this awesome feature. *Hint: Avoid those hard to negotiate mini-roundabouts. P.S. Not available on all maps including Hua Hin. USA ‘Stop pooping on the bike path’ sign is intended for humans A US town is being plagued by a mystery pooper who keeps squatting in the middle of a bike path. The epidemic is so bad that officials have erected a sign in Hampton, Illinois, that reads: ‘Stop pooping on the bike path.’ A fair order. Scott McKay, of Hampton’s Public Works, told WQAD: ‘Animals don’t carry toilet paper and then stuff it on top. ‘It’s pretty nasty. We’ve got enough goose crap on the bike path, let alone humans.’ Locals are bemused as to why some people are choosing to release their bowels all over the path when a perfectly fine toilet is located nearby. Runner Mitchell Jankowski said: ‘I know on long runs sometimes people have to hold it for a while, but I’ve never thought of carrying toilet paper and just squatting on the road.’ USA Father thinks he’s having stroke after eating daughter’s marijuana brownies This is why you should never eat someone’s food

,

ALF ESCO S Restaurant +

Beach Resort

Sam Roi Yod

4 NIGHT STAY 4000 baht Includes Twin or Double A/C Rooms for 2 persons, Buffet Breakfast, 300 baht Evening Meal Voucher per room, per night.

For more details see www.alfrescosbeachresort.com or Telephone 089 5876743

281 Moo 4, Sam Roi Yod, Prachuap Khiri Khan, 77121 Home of New

Swimming Pool

the 99 baht Sunday Roast

without asking, especially if they’re brownies. They could be laced with marijuana and cause you to think you’re having a stroke like one father in Michigan, United States. The unnamed 58-year-old had no idea the cakes his daughter, 17, had left out contained the special ingredient and thought he was suffering a brain injury. He was so convinced that he was having a stroke that he called emergency services on Wednesday, according to USA Today. But when they arrived his daughter confessed the brownies contained marijuana and his father was most likely just high. Medical weed is legal in the state but general possession is not allowed.

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to hull

and back

Mags Meanderings: From Som Tam To Mushy Peas

dictatorship, democracy or disaster? Many of you will have visited Singapore, the island state which during the last 50 plus years has risen from poverty to become one of the richest countries in the World. And you will also know that the man credited with making most of that rise to riches possible was Lee Kuan Yew, who died two weeks ago.

16

By all accounts Lee, the first Prime Minister of Singapore, was a highly intelligent but fair and determined leader, and there is no doubting the success of his authoritarian regime. Modern day Singapore stands out against its’ neighbours as a shining example of how to conduct business, make money, and not least control its’ citizens in such a way as to make them appreciate what they have, and to work with their government rather than

against it. The laws there can seem draconian. Singapore still has the death sentence, and is infamous for the exhorbitant fines imposed on jaywalkers, litterers, and smokers. But as a result it is almost frighteningly clean and well ordered. One of Lee Kuan Yews’ fundamental principles was that of one party rule, using a method of government designed to prevent any competition from potential opposition parties. A principle which our own David Cameron is probably praying for right now, and one which some other countries are actually beginning to aspire to. Is Thailand one of those countries? Not so long ago I would have choked on my Carl-sa-berg at the very idea. Now that idea seems to be a definite maybe. With a new constitution being drafted as we speak, aimed at tackling the problems experienced by Thailand in the last decade - the political demonstrations - the upsurge of rural voters hoping for a true and long overdue democracy which recognised their needs - can we really discount the possibility that Thailand will end up with a ‘back to the 80’s’ style elitist regime along with a smattering of un-elected elders? And an even more soul searching question has to be whether that would in fact be a good thing? Much as I have always believed in democracy, the fact is that so far Thailand doesn’t seem to have quite grasped the concept of how it should work there. Perhaps it is in fact time to go back to the drawing board and start over. But despite the fact that a New World Order might be just around the corner, please don’t ever make Bangkok as squeaky clean as Singapore! Word of the week is ‘scintilla’, meaning a tiny amount, trace, iota, tad, speck etc. You might for example experience a scintilla of doubt about the wisdom of having that next Chang.

NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS

A non-profit fellowship of men and women for whom drugs have become a major problem

Meetings now in Hua Hin every Sunday at 11.30am and every Thursday at 6pm

Contact Add 086 014 7585 Emmanuel K. 090 438 387 Mark 084 314 1928

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AWOL codeword

an a to z of good food at let’s eat

Let’s Eat RESTAURANT Open 9am to 9pm English Breakfast and Thai Food Soi 3 Khao Takiab (next to 7-11) Call 082 248 0345 or 089 450 5755

Each letter in this puzzle is represented by a number 1-26. Can you crack the code and solve the crossword? Every letter of the alphabet is used at least once. Three letters are already in place to get you started. Use the 1-26 small grid to keep track.

Last Issue’s Solution

A N

B O

C P

D Q

E R

F S

G H T U

I J K V W X

L Y

M Z

17

Contacting AWOL Telephone: 081 649 8361 (Eng) or 081 614 8728 (Thai)

Email:

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Website:

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Office:

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awolhuahin

136/229 Emerald Hill, Soi 6, Borfai, Hua Hin, 77110, Prachuap Kiri Khan

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balloon chasers

Get your parties, special events or offers on drinks in Balloon Chasers every week. It’s Free, so what have you got to lose?

Get an insight to the happenings in and around the area

Parties, special deals, regular events, celebrations and more; to get it in AWOL email info@awolonline.net. recently added and coming soon alfrescos, Sam Roi Yod; Every Sunday from 1pm until gone 99 baht Traditional Sunday Roast, good food with live music. (see ad on p15) dizzy dolphin, Soi Samorphong; Every Monday musical jam nights. Some of Hua Hins finest musicians will be getting together to play all styles of live music. Amateur or professional musician, all are welcome! Happy Hour every day from 1 - 7pm - Samsong + mixer 40 baht, Wine 55 baht, large domestic beers 65 baht, and music starts about 8 pm. .Live band every Thursday and Saturday. Regular Events

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Baan Silapin artist village, Pala U Road; Jazz Jam Session every Sunday from 7pm. Blue Bar, Klong Road; Happy Hour every day from 2 7pm - Large Leo 70 baht, Small Leo/Chang 50 baht, small Singha 60 baht, small Heineken/San Miguel 70 baht Bobby’s Bar, Soi 102.; Free Bar B Que every Friday from 5pm. when spend 180 bt. Sunday Roast - spend 200 baht on drinks and get it free!. British Breakfast all day, Only 99 bt. Captain Dougs, Khao Takiab; Every Friday from 7pm BBQ plus a beer just 300 baht. Dream Restaurant & Bar, Soi 88; Every Friday from 6pm Buffet featuring Swedish, Thai and European food, just 279 baht. Also have pizzas and kebabs. johnny’s 56, Soi Selekam/Poolsuk; Last Thursday every month fun pub quiz from around 7.30pm. limelight, Soi Selekam: Monthly pub quiz - last Monday of every month. passport cafe, Samorphrong; Now open for Breakfasts, Freshly baked bread, Daily Specials and more (see ad p11) say cheese guesthouse/restaurant, Amuaysin Road; Live Jazz every Monday 7 - 10.30pm Sunset Boulevard, Khao Takiab; All video, home

Send information to submissions@awolonline.net made fun pub quiz. Third Tuesday of every month (next one 22nd April due to Songkran on 15th). Bookings for teams of up to 6 are recommended as it is very popular and usually full. 10 rounds including 2 audio visual and 2 table rounds. Complimentary food at half time (chip butties and stew with baguettes). Call Mike 084 3769438 for more info and for bookings. Sunset Boulevard is 150 metres past the Ibis hotel going south on the Takiap Road. the admiral bar & grill, Damnoernkasem Road; Every month The Comedy Club - contact venue for details and tickets the fat cat, Naresdamri Road; Live Jazz every day (except Sunday) from 7 to 9 pm. Old songs played on cornet and double bass, plus special jazz food menu. TK Roadhouse, Khao Takiab; Monthly Pub Quiz; Pie & A Beer 150 THB special during the football. Uncle Bryn’s (2km past Palm Hills north along klong road. Turn left and 200m on left.); Large Chang 53 baht, large Leo 55 baht. Open daily 7am-late. 085 405 6976 (T) 080 197 2072(E) urban fuzion, Soi 61; Happy hour every day 3 to 8pm; Beer Buckets - 5 local beers 350 baht; Daily specials. British style Sunday Roasts: Bobby’s Bar, Soi 102 ChaAam Pub & Restaurant Coco Beach Club, Naresdamri Road (reservations, call 032 908080 after 4.30pm) Hua Hin Miss You, Soi 80 Jungle Juice, Soi Selekam Lin’s Cafe, Phetkasem Road between Sois 80/78 Orchid Restaurant 94, Soi 94 Palm Bistro, Soi 88 (032 828144) Seajays Resort, off Pala-U Road. 083 311 1787 Ye Olde Buffalo Tavern, Chomsin Rd Zab Wer, Soi 112.

Disclaimer

All articles are published in good faith and based on information available to us at publication. Some articles are satire or ‘spoof’ stories intended as humour. No responsibility is accepted other than that stipulated by law. Although the information in this publication has been obtained from sources believed to be reliable, AWOL cannot guarantee accuracy in all cases. Any opinions expressed are those of the contributor and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher. All materials copyright. All rights reserved and no part of this

publication may be reproduced in part or in full without the previous written consent of the publisher. Neither can any part be stored in a retrieval situation, nor transmitted by electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or any other means. AWOL is printed by Petchpoom Printing, and we can be contacted on info@awolonline.net or 081 614 8728. Please send any other communications to Mrs Chukamol James, Managing Director, AWOL Co. Ltd., 136/229 Emerald Hill, Soi 6, Mooban Borfai, Hua Hin, Prachuap Kiri Khan, 7110, THAILAND.

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HUA HIN GOLF Butterfly Rock Golf society

RESULTS 30th March 2015 Lake View AB Stableford 13 entered 1st Mick Court 38 pts (20) 2nd Steve Reeves 35 pts (14) 3rd Gary Engleman 32 pts (15) 4th Michael Snakebite 32 pts (06) 25th March 2015 Black Mountain Stableford 32 entered 1st Ossi Rodenstein 41 pts (12) 2nd Mick Mace 37 pts (17) 3rd Paul Williams 37 pts (04) 4th David Parkinson 36 pts (14) Fixtures 6th April 2015 Lakeview C&D Monthly Medal 8th April 2015 Banyan Stableford 10th April 2015 Lakeview A&B Stableford cha am golf club

Contact: secretary@chaamgolfclub.com FIXTURES 8th April 2015 CGC Friendly at Royal Hua Hin 22nd April 2015 CGC Friendly

Hua Hin Golf Society

Results 31st March 2015 Springfield A + C Stableford 37 entered A group: 1st Neung Chueanil 37 pts (08) 2nd Terry Burge 35 pts (15) 3rd Chuan Walker 34 pts (06) 4th Darren Sellars 33 pts (12) B group: 1st Kurt Norgaard 40 pts (36) 2nd John Hall 32 pts (21) 3rd Robert Bird 32 pts (16) 4th David Wallace 31 pts (19) 27th March 2015 Banyan B-A 41 entered Medal A group: 1st Ryan Wilkie 78 - 06 = 72 2nd Seppo Rintala 88 - 13 = 75 3rd Malcolm Taylor 89 - 14 = 75 4th Vladimir Dorogoy 86 - 11 = 75 Stableford B group: 1st Rob Prudon 36pts (23) 2nd Tim Vermeersch 35 pts (19) 3rd Robert Bird 34 pts (16) 4th Ampika Sangwichai 34 pts (20)

lake view members club

Results 27th March 2015 Course CD 1st Rodger Teasdale (14) 34pts 2nd Steve O’Brien (13) 33pts 3rd Doug East (14) 31pts 30th March 2015 Course AB 1st Mike O’Brien (15) 37pts 2nd Andrew Dickson (5) 36pts 3rd Bill Malone (19) 31pts FIXTURES Lake View every Monday, Wednesday, Friday robin’s roll up

Held every Friday at Palm Hills. Thanks to Robin Heath and Nigel Guest for results. Please contact Robin on robinaston@hotmail. com if you are interested in playing. 27th March 2015 No results available

fixtures 7th April 2015 Sea Pines Medal / Stableford 10th April 2015 Majestic Waltz

cryptic crossword Across 1 Lack of caring here, as left hand’s deformed (4-11) 9 Lock enclosure, leading to obstacle (7) 10 “Trop fou” is French for “stink” (7) 11 When to decline credit (5) 12 3’s representation of seedy fantasy (5,3) 14 Waste of time and a curse (10) 15 Desert Orchid’s first in big meeting again (4) 17 Having nothing to talk about is not bad (4) 18 Innocent henchman’s pull with State attorney (10) 22 Seven round tours arranged for top players (8) 23 Odd punishment given to extremely guilty suspect (5) 25 Dangerous explosion? Go away in bits (7) 26 Nothing’s wrong, honest - it’s immediately effective (3-4) 27 Remarkable person describing merry date in criminal court (4,3,8)

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The solution is on page 14 Down 1 A couple of presents today? (4,3,3) 2 In global circles, free verse? (5,2,8) 3 Tie-break (8) 4 Shot at, offer encouragement (7) 5 Volunteers to cover press access (3,4) 6 Lifting steel fork possibly makes you tired (6) 7 Occasionally re-applied veneer, and why not? (5,3,3,4) 8 Place maintained by cleaners it employs (4) 13 Space phenomenon such as Io? (6,4) 16 Getting off to sleep? (3,5) 19 “Humming” - dismal entry in dictionary (7) 20 Idealist pretty much accepts players of simple game (7) 21 Should they allow dates in Arab leaders’ bowls? (6) 24 Mafia boss about to have back surgery (4)

19


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Hua Hin Pool Billiard League

hua hin khao takiab super Pool League

results Week 25 27th March 2015 Aussie Bar (10) 2 - 6 (16) Pa’s Beer Garden Chang Boom Boom (17) 6 - 2 (9) Pistol Petes Coopers Br Gdn (4) 1 - 7 (19) TK R’dhouse 1 Jaew Bar (14) 4 - 4 (14) Lucky Shot Maria Lucky Shot B (16) 5 - 3 (8) Clansmen Maria Bar 1 (18) 6 - 2 (10) Lucky Shot A TK Roadhouse 2 (12) 0 - 8 (20) Infinity Bar Hua Hin Miss You - no game League Table Team Pistol Petes Chang Bm Bm Lucky Shot A Lucky St Maria Maria Bar 1 TK R’dhouse 1 TK R’dhouse 2 Lucky Shot B Infinity Bar Pa’s Beer Grden Clansmen Jaew Bar Aussie Bar Coopers Br Gdn HHin Miss You

P 23 23 24 23 24 24 24 23 24 23 23 23 23 22 22

W 20 17 15 16 14 13 11 10 10 9 6 3 1 3 1

D 1 3 5 3 5 2 3 4 3 3 4 6 6 1 1

L 2 3 4 4 5 9 10 9 11 11 13 14 16 18 20

+/76 66 58 48 46 32 2 -2 2 2 -30 -46 -66 -90 -98

Pts 41 37 35 35 33 28 25 24 23 21 16 12 8 7 3

fixtures Week 26 3rd April 2015 Clansmen v Coopers Beer Garden Hua Hin Miss You v Aussie Bar Infinity Bar v Jaew Bar Lucky Shot A v TK Roadhouse 2 Lucky Shot Maria v Chang Boom Boom Pa’s Beer Garden v Maria Bar 1 Pistol Petes v Lucky Shot B TK Roadhouse 1 - no game 20

Week 27 10th April 2015 Aussie Bar v Infinity Bar Chang Boom Boom v TK Roadhouse 1 Coopers Beer Garden v Pa’s Beer Garden Lucky Shot B v Hua Hin Miss You Maria Bar 1 v Jaew Bar Pistol Petes v Clansmen TK Roadhouse 2 v Lucky Shot Maria Lucky Shot A - no game

results Week 30 26th March 2015 Bobby’s Boys v Maria Bar n/a Chon Bar v Bobby’s Birds n/a Exotic Bar v Sasa Bar n/a JJ Sport Bar v The Kiss n/a Jungle Juice v Beach Hut n/a Lanla Bar v JNB Bar n/a Muan Bar 2 v TK Roadies n/a Salute Bar v Soda Bar n/a Somatch (3D + 1) Bar v Vinly an Rose n/a TK Roadhouse v Muan Bar 1 n/a

W 23 26 24 20 18 18 14 15 15 11 15 11 9 9 6 5 7 5 6 2

L 3 2 3 6 7 7 14 13 10 13 10 16 16 16 18 20 20 20 22 23

+/180 168 168 100 92 88 28 -2 -6 -12 6 -26 -42 -44 -92 -100 -104 -110 -138 -154

Ask about our drinks specials and other special offers Contact Andy on 086 178 1550 Email: aknabe@gmx.net 27/3 Poolsuk Road, Hua Hin

results Week 26 26th March 2015 Hua Hin Miss You 11 - 7 Coopers Beer Gdn Hut Bar 11 - 7 Casanova’s Maria Bar 10 - 8 Bar 80 Saloon Monica’s Bar 14 - 4 Chill Chill No match - Bar 80 Saloon, Clansmen, Dara Bar, Squealing Pig League Table

League Table P 29 29 29 29 29 29 29 29 29 29 28 29 29 28 29 29 29 29 29 29

Hua Hin’s only pool bar with FOUR 9’ tables

thursday friendly Pool League

Fixtures Week 32 9th April 2015 Bobby’s Boys v Soda Bar Chon Bar v Sasa Bar Exotic Bar v Vinly an Rose JJ Sport Bar v Beach Hut Jungle Juice v JNB Bar Lanla Bar v TK Roadies Muan Bar 1 v Bobby’s Birds Salute Bar v Muan Bar 2 Somatch (3D + 1) Bar v Maria Bar TK Roadhouse v The Kiss Team Maria Bar Lanla Bar Muan Bar 2 TK Roadhouse JNB Bar TK Roadies Beach Hut Somatch Bar Bobby’s Boys Jungle Juice Exotic Bar JJ Sport Bar The Kiss Bobby’s Birds Muan Bar 1 Soda Bar Chon Bar Salute Bar Sasa Bar Vinly an Rose

LUCKY SHOT BAR

Pts 380 374 374 340 336 334 304 289 287 284 283 277 269 258 244 240 238 235 221 213

Team Clansmen Monica’s Bar Dara Bar Squealing Pig Maria Bar Jaew Bar HHin Miss You Bar 80 Saloon Coopers Br Gdn Hut Bar Casanova’s Chill Chill

P 20 22 20 20 18 21 20 21 20 20 20 20

W 20 15 12 12 12 8 6 3 4 5 5 5

D 0 2 2 1 2 4 4 5 3 2 2 1

L 0 5 6 7 4 9 10 13 13 13 13 14

+/188 48 26 24 43 -4 -31 -54 -42 -68 -66 -64

Pts 312 254 220 217 204 202 178 173 169 159 159 158

Fixtures Week 28 9th April 2015 Hut Bar v Bar 80 Saloon Jaew Bar v Clansmen Maria Bar v Coopers Beer Garden Squealing Pig v Chill Chill Other teams either played already or no match

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hua hin/khao takiab Fun Pool League

results Week 18 1st April 2015 Aussie Bar 8 - 10 Beach Hut Bar Bobby’s Beauties 8 - 10 Bobby’s Bangers Muan Bar 8 - 10 Maria’s Bar Saloon Bar 80 8 - 10 Dara’s Bar Sunset Boulevard 7 - 11 Clansman TK Roadies 7 - 11 TK Roadhouse The Bridge 15 - 3 Casanova’s The Squealing Pig 7 - 11 Monica’s League Table Team Clansman Maria’s Bar TK Roadhouse Sunset B’vard Monica’s Beach Hut Bar Saloon Bar 80 Bobby’s Bngrs Squealing Pig Muan Bar Dara’s Bar The Bridge Aussie Bar TK Roadies Bobby’s B’ties Jaew Bar Casanova’s

P 17 17 17 17 17 17 17 17 16 15 17 17 16 16 16 15 16

W 17 13 12 12 8 8 8 7 7 6 6 4 4 3 3 2 1

D 0 2 1 0 3 3 3 3 2 4 4 3 2 3 2 1 2

L 0 2 4 5 6 6 6 7 7 5 7 10 10 10 11 12 13

+/- Pts 116 34 76 28 58 25 40 24 30 19 26 19 24 19 -12 17 -6 16 -8 16 -34 16 -28 11 -64 10 -30 9 -38 8 -66 5 -84 4

Fixtures Week 19 8th April 2015 Beach Hut Bar v The Squealing Pig Bobby’s Bangers v Aussie Bar Casanova’s v TK Roadies Clansman v The Bridge Dara’s Bar v Sunset Boulevard Jaew Bar v Saloon Bar 80 Monica’s v Muan Bar TK Roadhouse v Bobby’s Beauties

hua hin/khao takiab ladies Pool League

results Week 6 30th March 2015 JNB Bar 9 - 9 Bobby’s Birds Jaew Bar 5 - 13 Kom Hom Monicas 10 - 8 TK Roadhouse Muan Bar 12 - 6 Sunset Boulevard Sa Sa Bar 7 - 11 The Squealing Pig The Clansmen 4 - 14 Waring Bar The Connection 7 - 11 Dara Bar

results Week 1 1st April 2015 Buckleys 13 - 6 All Nations GH Chon Bar 4 - 15 Sabai JW Black 7 - 12 King Bar A Jungle Juice A 8 - 11 Jungle Juice B Limelight 11 - 8 JW Red Pink Panther 12 - 7 Tiger Bar League Table

League Table Team Dara Bar Muan Bar Squealing Pig Monicas The Clansmen Sa Sa Bar Waring Bar Kom Hom Bobby’s Birds TK Roadhouse JNB Bar Sunset B’vard The Connection Jaew Bar

HUA HIN social POOL LEAGUE

P W D 6 6 0 6 5 0 6 5 0 6 4 0 6 3 1 6 3 0 6 3 0 6 3 0 6 2 2 6 2 1 6 2 1 6 1 1 6 0 0 6 0 0

L 0 1 1 2 2 3 3 3 2 3 3 4 6 6

+/- Pts 28 12 40 10 22 10 10 8 -4 7 10 6 8 6 0 6 -6 6 -2 5 -18 5 -4 3 -40 0 -44 0

Fixtures Week 7 6th April 2015 Bobby’s Birds v The Clansmen Dara Bar v Monicas Kom Hom v JNB Bar Sunset Boulevard v Sa Sa Bar The Squealing Pig v The Connection TK Roadhouse v Jaew Bar Waring Bar v Muan Bar

Team Sabai Buckleys King Bar A Pink Panther Jungle Juice B Limelight JW Red Jungle Juice A JW Black Tiger Bar All Nations GH Chon Bar

P W L 1 1 0 1 1 0 1 1 0 1 1 0 1 1 0 1 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 1 1 0 1 1 0 1 1 0 1 1 0 1

+/- Pts 11 10 7 8 5 8 5 7 3 6 3 5 -3 5 -3 4 -5 4 -5 4 -7 4 -11 3

Fixtures Week 2 8th April 2015 All Nations GH v Chon Bar Jungle Juice B v Pink Panther JW Red v Buckleys King Bar A v Limelight Sabai v Jungle Juice A Tiger Bar v JW Black

HUA HIN fishing club

RESULTS Week 6 22nd March 2015 TBA Results not yet available Fixtures No fixtures announced For more information on the Hua Hin Fishing Club, please visit their website www.huahinfishingclub.com

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League Table Angler Jason and the Argonauts Pistol Pete Roger Carp Arsenal John Wayne John Dr Brandon Dess QS Pistol Steve Wonder Casta Shadow Daz Khun Deng Nephew Pistol Derek Fish Papa Pistol Freddie Hargreaves Khun It

Pts 19 18 9 8 5 4 4 4 3 3 2 1 1 0 0

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Affordable Health Insurance from 50 baht per day with thai-health.com Visit www.awolonline.net Contact andreas@thai-health.com hash house harriers - A drinking Club with a running and walking Problem!

The Cha-Am and Hua Hin Hash House Harrier Clubs meet alternate Saturdays for around an hours run/walk in the countryside followed by a social gathering. If you would like to come along then visit the new single website at http://www. h2h3-cah3.com or Facebook at www.facebook. com/H2H3CAH3 for full details and directions. People attending and participating do so entirely at their own risk. NEXT RUN Saturday 4th April 2015 @ 4:30 pm Hua Hin H3 Run #303 Location: On Soi 88 between 7.1 &7.2 km Marker Posts Google Map link: https://goo.gl/maps/5bKdm GPS Coordinates: N 12.555660, E 99.925947 (N 12 33.340, E 99 55.557) From Hua Hin & Cha-Am: https://goo.gl/maps/ chkVE Make your way on Phet Kasem Road and turn on to Hua Hin Soi 88, after crossing the railway turn RIGHT and drive 3.6 km passing the Hua Hin Provincial Court and the Peak on your left to the 2nd concrete road on your LEFT between the 7.2 & 7.1 km Markers and turn LEFT (HHH sign) and park on or off the concrete road. HARES: Jock Twat & Scotch Tape ON ON ON: Restaurant 94 on Soi 94 Fees: Male Drinkers ฿200, Female Drinkers ฿150, Teetotalers ฿100, kids ฿50, under 8’s Free. Your effort to bring the CORRECT change would be very much appreciated.

hua hin city F.C

results 29th March 2015 Hua Hin City 6 - 0 Pathum Thani

Darts supplies 087 155 7737 Brisal Dartboard now available!

10% OFF FOR DARTS LEAGUE PLAYERS

FIXTURES 5th april 2015 J.W. Police v Hua Hin City

HUA HIN DARTS LEAGUE

Thai Division 2 Central & Western Region League Table TEAM Samut Sakhon Simork Looktabfah Krung Thonburi Hua Hin Globlex Raj Pracha Thonburi City JW Police Ratchaphruek Phetchaburi Phatum Thani Nonthaburi

P W D 6 6 0 6 4 2 7 3 2 7 3 1 6 3 1 7 3 1 7 3 1 6 3 0 7 2 3 6 2 1 6 2 0 7 1 1 6 0 1

L 0 0 2 3 2 3 3 3 2 3 4 5 5

GD 8 9 1 2 6 0 0 3 1 -3 -5 -13 -9

PTs 18 14 11 10 10 10 10 9 9 7 6 4 1

Hua Hin City Football Club is the local professional team for the area formed in 2011. They currently play their home matches at the Kai Tanarat Stadium in Pranburi, but a new stadium is currently under construction in Khao Takiab, and is expected to be completed within the next six months.

results Week 15 31st March 2015 Blue Lagoon 6 - 12 Jungle Juice CAT Jiggapik 14 - 4 Johnny’s 56 Chill Chill Bar 13 - 5 Hua Hin Miss You 1 The Clansmen 11 - 7 O’Neills URS TREFF CHA AM 15 - 3 Robin’s Rest League table Team Jungle Juice CAT Jiggapik URS TREFF HHin Miss You 1 The Clansmen Robin’s Rest Johnny’s 56 O’Neills Chill Chill Bar Blue Lagoon

P 15 14 14 13 14 15 15 12 15 15

W 15 12 10 7 6 5 5 4 4 2

D 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 1 0 1

L 0 2 4 6 8 10 10 7 11 12

+/- Pts 164 30 84 24 80 20 -12 14 -44 12 -16 10 -92 10 -32 9 -64 8 -68 5

fixtures Week 16 7th April 2015 Hua Hin Miss You 1 v URS TREFF CHA AM Johnny’s 56 v Chill Chill Bar Jungle Juice v CAT Jiggapik O’Neills v Blue Lagoon Robin’s Rest v The Clansmen

Under offer from

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Bars / Pubs Telephone Bobby’s Bar 089 985 7473 Dizzy Dolphin 080 652 0531 Lucky Shot 086 178 1550 accommodation Telephone Alfrescos 089 587 6743 All Nations Guesthouse 032 512747 Victor Guesthouse 032 511564 sports & leisure Telephone The Dartman 087 155 7737 Go Kart Hua Hin 032 547 199

Services & other Telephone Easy Car Rental 086 166 9880 Legal Services Hua Hin 084 881 8396 MSIG 032 512098 Safe Storage 092 927 7207 Siam Consulting 032 512075 thai-health.com Property Telephone Hot Property 032 533 533 Lucky Real Estate 082 298 0500 RE/MAX Harmony 032 511 740 Sopha Land and Houses 083 324 0907

Restaurants/ Food Telephone All In Hua Hin 032 530067 British Breakfast Foods 087 155 7737 Buffalo Tavern 032 530087 Hua Hin Ham & Bacon 032 513144 Kom Hom 085 266 4153 La Terrasse 032 511393 Let’s Eat 082 248 0345 Passport Cafe 093 139 9655 Red Piano 032 900510 S & S Indian 081 455 5298

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Affordable Health Insurance from 50 baht per day with thai-health.com Advertise here from only 40 baht per week Contact andreas@thai-health.com football news

Bobby’s Bar

kicked off by bobby’s bar fixtures

(all times Thailand) Friday 3rd April 2015 CHAMPIONSHIP Birmingham v Rotherham 21:00 Brighton v Norwich 21:00 Fulham v Brentford 21:00 Middlesbrough v Wigan 21:00 Millwall v Charlton 21:00 Nottm Forest v Wolves 21:00 Ipswich v Bournemouth 23:15 Saturday 4th April 2015 PREMIER LEAGUE Arsenal v Liverpool 18:45 Everton v Southampton 21:00 Leicester v West Ham 21:00 Man Utd v Aston Villa 21:00 Swansea v Hull 21:00 West Brom v QPR 21:00 Chelsea v Stoke 23:30 CHAMPIONSHIP Derby v Watford 01:45 Bolton v Blackpool 21:00 Leeds v Blackburn 21:00 Reading v Cardiff 21:00 Sheff Wed v Huddersfield 21:00 SCOTTISH PREMIERSHIP St Mirren v Celtic 01:45 Aberdeen v Partick Thistle 21:00 Dundee Utd v Ross County 21:00 Hamilton v St Johnstone 21:00 Inverness CT v Dundee 21:00 Kilmarnock v Motherwell 21:00 Sunday 5th April 2015 PREMIER LEAGUE Burnley v Tottenham 19:30 Sunderland v Newcastle 22:00 Monday 6th April 2015 CHAMPIONSHIP Watford v Middlesbrough 18:30 Bournemouth v Birmingham 21:00 Brentford v Nottm Forest 21:00 Cardiff v Bolton 21:00 Huddersfield v Ipswich 21:00 Norwich v Sheff Wed 21:00 Rotherham v Brighton 21:00 Wigan v Derby 21:00 Wolves v Leeds 23:15 Tuesday 7th April 2015 PREMIER LEAGUE Crystal Palace v Man City 02:00

english premier league table 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20

Team Chelsea Man City Arsenal Man Utd Liverpool Southampton Tottenham Swansea West Ham Stoke Crystal Palace Newcastle Everton West Brom Hull Aston Villa Sunderland Burnley QPR Leicester

P 29 30 30 30 30 30 30 30 30 30 30 30 30 30 30 30 30 30 30 29

GD 36 34 27 25 12 21 5 -4 3 -3 -5 -15 -4 -12 -12 -20 -21 -23 -23 -21

PTS 67 61 60 59 54 53 53 43 42 42 36 35 34 33 28 28 26 25 22 19

wednesday 8th April 2015 PREMIER LEAGUE Aston Villa v QPR 01:45 CHAMPIONSHIP Blackpool v Reading 01:45 Charlton v Fulham 01:45 SCOTTISH PREMIERSHIP Motherwell v St Mirren 01:45 Ross County v St Johnstone 01:45

Featured Game

Saturday 4th April 2015 PREMIER LEAGUE Arsenal v Liverpool 18:45 Liverpool suffered a major setback in their hopes to qualify for the Champions League last time out, and a loss here would virtually end their chances. Few seem to think Arsenal are in the title race but with Chelsea playing one of their bogey teams, Stoke, later, the Gunners could find themselves only four points behind them if results go their way. The form book suggests a hme win, but this will be a tight affair, and Brendan Rodgers would probably be happy with a point; we don’t think he’ll get it though and may have to settle for a place in the Europa League.

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Home of the Free Sunday Roast & Free Bar B Que every Friday Call 089 985 7473

Soi 102, Hua Hin (200m on right after railway)

fantasy premier league

If you wish to take part in the Fantasy or Predictor leagues please contact info@ awolonline.net for instructions. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19

20 21 22 23

Team Hua Hin Utd Lost Cafe Mr ChaAming AWOL Wanderers Wanderlust United Waste of money ? Free Rolf City Let’s be avin you Red & Blue Bangers Dunne’s Destroyers Fingers Clayton Pensioners FC Mukdahan Obviously-FC xxdroggiesbackxxx Thailand Silkmen Portsmouth City Sammy Doo Racing headless chickens FC OK Dans Demons Eric Madrid Spurs

GW 88 91 75 89 67 82 52 62 76 61 92 76 75 72 78 76 82 62 59 42 41 54 29

TOT 1,714 1,698 1,643 1,641 1,601 1,583 1,575 1,520 1,519 1,514 1,509 1,503 1,475 1,416 1,406 1,382 1,381 1,298 1,295 1,189 1,177 1,137 1,124

premier league predictor

AWOL CHALLENGE EPL PREDICTION TABLE Player TOT GW 22 524 1 AWOL 27 519 2 livinginlos kevharris2502 0 393 3 0 141 4 oskar 0 140 5 Mr Blobby Green

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Affordable Health Insurance from 50 baht per day with thai-health.com Visit www.awolonline.net Contact andreas@thai-health.com

citizen kane

Tabloid reporters hail Harry Kane as England saviour while searching his bins for dirt

uK

Tabloid newspapers have celebrated Harry Kane’s England debut goal by dedicating back pages to his performance and their best ‘reporters’ to find dirt on the young striker. After scoring just 79 seconds into his debut, tabloid reporters have been quick to elevate him to the position of England saviour whilst also desperately looking for things to knock him down a peg or two. Red top sports correspondent Simon Williams told us, “The guy can use both feet, he’s good with his head, and he works incredibly hard – so with any luck he’ll have a secret illegitimate child or an expensive coke habit.” “Last night was the stuff of dreams, so we can only hope to uncover the stuff of his nightmares some time soon.” “It’s so great to see talented young English players doing it on the world stage, and one can only imagine what he could achieve

for our circulation figures if we can find something scurrilous in his private life.” “Harry Kane could break records, seriously.” Shortly after filing copy for today’s back pages, reporters began searching out exgirlfriends and people from Kane’s past in the hope they could shed some insight into the new England star. Another freelance hack told us, “We’re looking to hear about what he was like as a kid, who his heroes were, and whether he ever got involved in any serious criminal activity that was covered up because he can kick a football pretty well. Harry Kane could be the best thing to ever happen to England’s tabloid reporters, but it’s still very early days.” “It’s a lot for the young boy to carry on his shoulders, for sure, but he looks like he can handle having the hopes and dreams of hundreds of tabloid reporters resting on the fact he has a skeleton in his closet.”

Below: The saviour of England

“Hopefully it won’t take too long to find it, I’ve got bills to pay.”

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