AWOL Issue 409

FOR THE EXPAT IN ALL OF US! ISSUE 409 23rd December 2016

ABSENT WITH OUT LEAVE IN THE LAND OF SMILES

FREE

EVERY FRIDAY SINCE 2008

THE ORIGINAL AND BEST!

GET RACING FROM ONLY 400 BAHT! OPEN EVERYDAY 10.30AM - 7PM

Call 032 547 199 (Office) or 081 817 3000 (Mobile) Located on Soi 2, Phetchkasem Road opposite Hua Hin Airport

www.gokarthuahin.com info@gokarthuahin.com

Victor’s

OPEN 24/7

WIDE RANGE OF ROOMS IN THE HEART OF HUA HIN A/C, LCD TV, DVD player, fridge, free premium wifi, cable TV victorguesthouse@gmail.com 032 511564 60 Naresdamri Road, Hua Hin

P A N AMA BAR

Good Times Every Night A DJ To Save Your Life

GLAD TIDINGS MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ONE AND ALL

•Christmas • may not be generally celebrated in Thailand due to the different cultural and religious HUA HIN

connections, but the Thais do love any reason to have fun, and for most tourists and expats that is what the spirit of Christmas is all about - a joyful time where people are especially nice to each other. It is also in Hua Hin a marker for when the high season is really about to begin, and while this high season may not hit the heights of previous years, there will still be a noticable influx of people in the coming weeks.

Whether part of that influx will arrive via the new ferry service from Pattaya that was due to begin on 1st January now looks highly doubtful, as reports have suggested that the planned embarkation points at both ends will not be ready in time, and anyone who has visited the site of ‘Harbour 55’, where the commercial fishermen used to land their catch, will know that this area is not ready to deal with arriving tourists, although the pier the boat is due to dock at is. We visited the site on Tuesday and were told by locals that work has stopped on the site due to a breach of the paperwork covering the height of some of the structures. We were also told that it would takee at least a month for the actual work to be completed once it restarts.

However visitors are going to arrive, they can guarantee that they will be warmly welcomed, and AWOL would like to wish both them, our readers, our advertisers and everyone who has Hua Hin in their heart,

A VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS!

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LOCAL LISTINGS

BARS & PUBS

Double D Father Teds Lucky Shot Panama Bar

PROPERTY

Hot Property Lucky Real Estate Spencers Prop. Services SPORTS & LEISURE

Bridge Club Hua Hin Cha Am Hash HH The Dartman Go Kart Hua Hin

SERVICES & OTHER

Legal Services Hua Hin Magic Carpet Self Storage Siam Consulting thai-health.com

ACCOMMODATION

All Nations Guesthouse Victor Guesthouse

TEL.

080 652 0531 081 717 7496 086 178 1550 TEL.

032 533 533 082 298 0500 091 871 0128 TEL.

see Bazaar see Bazaar 092 845 5773 032 547 199 TEL.

084 881 8396 081 865 3047 092 927 7207 032 512 075 TEL.

032 512 747 032 511 564

RESTAURANTS/FOOD

British Breakfast Foods Buffalo Tavern Hua Hin Ham & Bacon La Terrasse Let’s Eat Lost Cafe Mucky Duck Nit’s Kitchen Passport Cafe Pork Pies Hua Hin Salsa The Palm Bistro

Affordable Health Insurance from 50 baht per day with thai-health.com Contact andreas@thai-health.com

LA TERRASSE NEW

LOUNGE RESTAURANT

11/1 NARESDAMRI RD 77110 HUA HIN, HILTON STREET, DOWN TO THE PIER

SEA VIEW - LOVELY SEA BREEZE THAI/SEA FOOD - WESTERN FOOD

BREAKFAST - LUNCH - DINNER PRIVATE PARTIES - BIRTHDAYS WEDDINGS - EVENTS 8:00 am to 10 pm la.terrasse.hua.hin@gmail.com Tel. 03 25 11 393

TEL.

087 155 7737 032 530 087 032 513 144 032 511 393 082 294 5602 086 043 5058 086 006 1271 081 820 2309 093 139 9655 098 897 2492 095 429 5383 032 828 144

Power Of Love Church

HELP NEEDED FOR THE SLUMS IN HUA HIN

We are working to help the Slums of Hua Hin and would love to have you deliver your goods with us, so you know your donation is going directly to those who need it.

We need secondhand items, clothes and household goods.

Why not join us and come to the slums with us?

We leave from our offices at 17:20 Every Tuesday evening. Visit us any day at the Power Of Love Children’s Home, Soi CJ, Khao Takiab, Hua Hin Facebook@Power of Love Church Tel K. Andrew 080 999 3603 K. Panaya 092 592 3604 (Thai) (Services every Sunday 10 am at Hilton Resort and Spa)

Book Your Pies For Christmas NOW! We make these pies fresh every day or to order: Pork, Gala*, Cheese/Onion, Minced Beef/Onion, Steak, Chicken/Leek, Chicken/Mushroom, Meat/Potato, plus we also make Scotch Eggs and Sausage Rolls. *Gala Pies require a minimum 24 hours notice

More pies coming soon - please ask us for your favourite pie!

See photos and prices on Facebook or contact us Delivery available for 30 baht Please contact us for bulk order/business rates

Get your pies from our shop on Soi 88/1, Open everyday 10am - 5pm Place orders by: Phone 098 897 2492 Email porkpieshuahin@gmail.com or Facebook britishporkpieshuahin

Affordable Health Insurance from 50 baht per day with thai-health.com Contact andreas@thai-health.com

AWOL WITH..

Join our Sunday Lunch Club and start earning your free Roast Dinner

Nuyja

Photos coutesy of Haribo

Double D

Opening times Tuesday till Saturday 10.30 till 14.30, 17.30 till 21.00 Sunday 13.00 till 17.00 Tel. 032 828 144 Web: thepalmbistro.com thepalmbistro@gmail.com Located at Orchid Palm Homes 4 1043 Road, Tabtai, Hua Hin

Garden Bar & Restaurant Pool Table Open From 3pm - Late

Soi 6, Borfai, Hua Hin Tel. 080 652 0531

Offering Great Food - Fresh Homemade Pizzas, BBQ Ribs, Fish & Chips, Burgers, Chops, Chilli, Wings Etc

Happy Hour! 3 - 6 pm

Sangsom + mixer 40 baht Wine 55 baht San Miguel / Heineken 65 baht Domestic beers S 45 L 70 baht

LIVE SPORTS TV

BIG SCREEN SHOWING PREMIER LEAGUE, F1, RUGBY, GOLF, AUSSIE RULES etc

Located off the canal road; at the Soi 6 traffic lights go across the bridge over the canal and turn immediately right. We are about 600 metres further on the right, 100 metres past the temple, directly behind the small brown Buddha house.

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WEATHER & TIDES WORLD WEATHER (22-12-16)

LOCAL FORECAST AND TIDES

RAIN (MM) CONDITIONS TEMP. °C TIDES CITY WEATHER HIGH H L 1ST 2ND 3RD 4TH °C SA 0 Mostly sunny 31° 24° 05:04 2.4m 18:06 1.4m - Amsterdam Broken clouds 7 SU 0 Partly sunny; humid 32° 24° 04:51 2.5m 17:25 1.3m - Ankara Partly sunny 0 MO 0 Clearing and humid 33° 23° 04:56 2.5m 17:08 1.3m 18:24 2.1m Athens Partly sunny 7 TU 0 Nice; clouds and sun 32° 25° 00:11 1.4m 05:11 2.6m 17:08 1.3m 18:24 2.1m Auckland Overcast 20 WE 0 Mostly cloudy 29° 24° 00:57 1.4m 05:31 2.6m 17:18 1.3m 18:37 2.1m Beijing Passing clouds 5 TH 0 Mostly sunny 28° 21° 01:33 1.3m 05:54 2.6m 17:35 1.2m 18:57 2.1m Berlin Partly sunny 1 FR 0 Clearing 28° 21° 02:05 1.3m 06:19 2.7m 17:57 1.2m 19:20 2.1m Buenos Aires Passing clouds 21 Cairo Haze 17 Chicago Overcast 2 Copenhagen Fog 5 Dubai Passing clouds 26 Dublin Passing clouds 6 Helsinki Partly sunny 5 THAILAND WEATHER (22-12-16) Ho Chi Minh City Partly cloudy 33 Place Temp. Hum. Conditions Place Temp. Hum. Conditions Hong Kong Passing clouds 23 Nakhon Si Tham. 24 °C 78% Partly Cldy Aranyaprathet 32 °C 54% Overcast Islamabad Partly sunny 23 Nan 28 °C 84% Overcast Ban Ang 30 °C 64% Mist Istanbul Partly sunny 7 Narathiwat 32 °C 30% Scattered Clds Ban Ang Hin 28 °C 84% Clear Jakarta Partly sunny 31 Nong Khai 30 °C 68% Partly Cldy Ban Ang Kep N. 26 °C 83% Mostly Cldy Jerusalem Quite cool 13 Pattani 29 °C 62% Partly Cldy Ban Bang Chang 25 °C 100% Mostly Cldy Johannesburg Passing clouds 30 Peam Prus 29 °C 70% Partly Cldy Bangkok 31 °C 49% Partly Cldy Karachi Scattered clouds 30 Pattaya 30 °C 46% Scattered Clds Bhumibol Dam 32 °C 41% Haze Kuala Lumpur Broken clouds 28 32 °C 47% Partly Cldy Bua Chum 33 °C 35% Scattered Clds Phayao London Fog 4 Phetchaburi 34 °C 39% Scattered Clds Chaiyaphum 32 °C 36% Haze Madrid Sunny 8 Phitsanulok 32 °C 36% Scattered Clds Chanthaburi 32 °C 51% Partly Cldy Manila Scattered clouds 31 Phrae 28 °C 79% Mostly Cldy Chiang Mai 28 °C 48% Partly Cldy Mexico City Clear 9 Phuket 34 °C 38% Scattered Clds Chon Buri 31 °C 49% Partly Cldy Moscow Snow flurries -1 30 °C 61% Mist Chumphon 28 °C 84% Scattered Clds Prachin Buri Mumbai Passing clouds 30 Hat Yai 30 °C 29% Scattered Clds Prachuap K.khan 30 °C 61% Light Rain New Delhi Sunny 24 33 °C 37% Scattered Clds Houei-sai 33 °C 37% Scattered Clds Ranong New York Mostly cloudy 4 Roi Et 32 °C 33% Scattered Clds Kam Paeng Phet 33 °C 38% Haze Oslo Chilly 3 Sakon Nakhon 29 °C 70% Partly Cldy Kanchanaburi 28 °C 54% Partly Cldy Paris Low clouds 7 Sattahip 30 °C 69% Partly Cldy Khon Kaen 26 °C 94% Partly Cldy Perth Sunny 24 Satun 25 °C 100% Heavy Rain Ko Lanta 28 °C 79% Partly Cldy Phnom-Penh Clear 30 Songkhla 33 °C 43% Haze Ko Samui 31 °C 49% Partly Cldy Rio De Janeiro Sunny 28 Suphan Buri 26 °C 94% Mostly Cldy Ko Sichang 26 °C 83% Mostly Cldy Riyadh Scattered clouds 16 Surat Thani 32 °C 40% Scattered Clds Krabi 31 °C 59% Partly Cldy Rome Fog 6 Surin 31 °C 49% Scattered Clds Laemchabang 27 °C 65% Partly Cldy San Francisco Clear 9 Tak 28 °C 79% Mostly Cldy Lampang 28 °C 48% Partly Cldy Seoul Fog 4 Takua Pa 27 °C 49% Partly Cldy Lamphun 24 °C 78% Partly Cldy Shanghai Fog 9 24 °C 78% Partly Cldy Loei 34 °C 31% Scattered Clds Tha Tum Singapore Light rain 26 Lomsak 34 °C 33% Scattered Clds Tha Wang Pha 32 °C 47% Haze Stockholm Scattered clouds 6 Thong Pha Phum 26 °C 94% Partly Cldy Lop Buri 31 °C 35% Partly Cldy Sydney Partly cloudy 22 27 °C 65% Mostly Cldy Mae Hong Son 32 °C 40% Scattered Clds Trang Taibei/Taipei Partly cloudy 19 32 °C 38% Partly Cldy Mae Sariang 30 °C 42% Scattered Clds Ubon Ratch.

Tokyo Mild 19 34 °C 27% Scattered Clds Mukdahan 31 °C 29% Scattered Clds Udon Thani Vancouver Mostly cloudy 3 32 °C 41% Scattered Clds Nakhon Phanom 32 °C 40% Scattered Clds Uttaradit Vientiane Clear 31 Wawle 34 °C 39% Scattered Clds Nakhon Ratch. 34 °C 31% Haze Yangon Haze 31 Wichian Buri 31 °C 37% Scattered Clds Nakhon Sawan 26 °C 90% Light Rain Zurich Chilly -2

YOUR STARS

Pub, restaurant & guesthouse

Opposite the Fishing Pier

It’s Christmas!

But there’s still time to book our

Traditional Christmas Dinner Starter, followed by Turkey, Beef, Lamb, Chicken with all the Trimmings, Christmas Pudding and Mince Pies.

Only 950 baht incl. a free drink.

Book Now! Spaces limited

For bookings or information call 032 530087 www.buffalobillshuahin.com Located on the corner of Chomsin/ Naresdamri rd CAPRICORN DEC 22 - JAN 19

TAURUS APR 21 – MAY 21

VIRGO AUG 23 – SEP 22

AQUARIUS JAN 20 – FEB 18

GEMINI MAY 22 – JUNE 21

LIBRA SEP 23 – OCT 23

All of your questions will be answered this week, moments after the zookeeper, the fire marshal, and the rollercoaster operator all tell you, “No.”

The attention is nice and all, but in the end, you put your pants on just like everyone else: One thirty million dollar cybernetic leg at a time.

Sure, they might blame you now, but how were you supposed to know the waters were unsafe at Everyone Always Gets Killed Beach.

After days of searching, you’ll finally find comfort this week. Just above “comforter,” and right below “confit.”

Sometimes in life you just have to march right in there, introduce yourself, fight off a couple of rather large security guards, and demand a raise.

Remember: Guns aren’t toys.

Except for the plastic toy kind. Or the high-powered rifle kind, which you can totally use to have a ton of fun.

CANCER JUN 22 – JUL 22 PISCES FEB 19 – MAR 20

What’s the matter? Couldn’t find your precious People magazine horoscopes this week? Oh, you want your fortune, do you? Here’s your fortune: Go die, asshole.

ARIES MAR 21 - APR 20

Try listening to your body this week. It’s got a bunch of really great stories about hanging out with Jimmy Page.

Internal bleeding is usually a sign of serious trauma, so relax, you and your bloodsoaked clothes are totally fine.

LEO JUL 23 – AUG 22

By this time next year, you’ll be 400,000 dollars richer, two cars the better, and just as gullible as you are now.

SCORPIO OCT 24 – NOV 21

Your two pack-a-day habit will finally kill you this week, but then, that’s a lot of wolves to fight off.

SAGITTARIUS NOV 22 – DEC 21

The stars foresee a time of great uncertainty in the day to come. Also, the stars foresee a time of great covering their collective asses in the days to come.

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The Bridge Club Hua Hin

Is looking for New Members Every Monday and Thursdays from 14:00 to 17:30 at Say Cheese Games and Sports Soi 74 (Amnuaysin) Register by mail: b.j.bridge@hotmail.com Or walk in @ Guesthouse Say Cheese soi 74

Tell everyone about your New Year offering NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS

A non-profit fellowship of men and women for whom drugs have become a major problem Meetings now in Hua Hin on Sundays at 10.30am, Tuesdays at 12 noon and Thursdays at 6pm

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Bobby’s British Breakfast Foods

ENGLISH CORNER

UK Sausages, Ham, Bacon, Pies, Teas etc.

••

Call 087 155 7737 or 089 985 7473

A section for all you budding etymologists where each week the origin of a word or phrase is investigated. was survived by his mother, who became for the gifts, the shaman undertakes a THIS WEEK IT IS.....YULETIDE The word “Yule” was originally a the reigning Queen. She loved her son spiritual journey to the North Star with Scandinavian word (in Finnish: “Joul”). so much, that she had an evergreen tree his culpable clients’ souls for the purpose Scholars say that Yule probably means planted at his burial site and decorated of purification. This is a possible origin ‘feast’, and “tide” means time (as in a it with silver and gold each December for the practice of putting gifts under the period of time). Therefore, “Yuletide” is 25th, his birthday.

Christmas tree today.

Another claim is from the Mongols, who Then, when the Shaman returns with the feasting time.

It was originally a Scandinavian winter had very meaningful traditions centred his cleansed clients’ souls, the Mother solstice tradition, and parenthetically around the winter solstice; villagers Tree shimmers with the light of each feasting is a major part of Christmas, would gather at the shaman’s ger, a purified soul, reawakened to or renewed probably from Yuletide influence. Usually circular tent or yurt (as it is called in by the light of the North Star. This could both Christmas Eve and Christmas Day Turkey). A ger has a central pole which be the origin of the tradition of putting are accompanied by huge feasts of a represents the ‘mother tree’, called “Ej Christmas lights on the Christmas tree. usually a big bird, like a goose or a turkey. mod.” The ‘mother tree’ points to the However you celebrate Yuletide or Also, possibly a Christmas ham could North Star, figuratively of course. So, at Christmas, we hope that it can be defined be prepared, accompanied by such side the top of the tree sits the ‘Star’. as one of the best you’ve ever had! dishes as: mashed potatoes and gravy, Mongols traditionally have believed candied yams, and stuffing. For desert that the abode of each person’s soul is we would have Christmas cookies, figgy a different star and that a falling star Is there an English phrase represents the death of some individual pudding, fruit cake, and pumpkin pie.

Who knows exactly how long the full on Earth. The unmoving, eternal North or saying that you would Yuletide lasted, but the most important Star is the abode of the Great Spirit. Each like to know more about? time was from December 22nd to winter solstice people should send their December 25th. On December 22nd, the soul to the North Star for purification.

Email it to us on winter solstice, when the sun was lowest Most people don’t know how to do it, so submissions@awolonline.net in the sky (for the Northern Hemisphere), the services of the Shaman are invoked. it was thought that the sun was close The villagers gather in the shaman’s to death. It was the tradition to keep a tent, having brought gifts and placing yule log (or yule logs) lit for three days them under the “mother tree”. In return to reignite the sun. On December 25th, when the sun started to appear higher in the sky, it was thought to be the “Birthday of the Sun”.

Winter solstice traditions are remarkably similar around the world, and most of our Christmas traditions come from those winter solstice traditions. The word “solstice” is a compound word from Latin meaning “Sun stands [still].” Starting on December 22, and lasting three days, the sun literally stands still from our perspective. Then, on December 25, it starts to rise higher in the sky, as if it had been born again. That is why Christmas is on December 25. Since the sun is the literal light of the world, and since the Christ was the metaphorical light of the world, it seemed appropriate to the founders of Christianity to set Christ’s birthday on that auspicious day.

There are conflicting opinions as to the origin of the Christmas Tree; the earliest by date is in the Torah, the Jewish bible, Reservations: 095 429 5383 suggests that over 4000 years ago Nimrod Open daily 6pm ‘til late (who was son of Cush, who was son of Tuesdays, Fridays and Saturdays Ham, who was son of Noah) aspired to After dinner at 10.30pm FREE 1 hour lesson of Salsa and Bachata build a tower to reach heaven and to followed by our Latin Party with Latin Disco DJ and Live Band stand face to face before his maker(s), Please ask about our New Year’s Eve Dinner and Party and be able to converse with him/them as one person converses with another.

Located opposite the Hilton, 15 m right of Lo Stivale But something went terribly wrong and Like us on Facebook: SALSA Hua Hin Restaurant the tower failed. After Nimrod died, he

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SUDOKU Each week we have an easy and a hard Sudoku puzzle. Just fill in the empty squares so that each horizontal and vertical line, and each section, has all the numbers 1 to 9.

PUZZLE 1 (EASY)

PUZZLE 2 (HARD)

LAST ISSUE’S SOLUTIONS PUZZLE 1

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PUZZLE 2

ALL NATIONS

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WEIRD NEWS

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USA Elf porn searches increase massively ahead of Christmas Nothing says Christmas like a bit of elf porn, or at least that’s as far as Pornhub users are concerned.

In the way that it usually does around holiday seasons, the website has issued a release showing search trends amongst its users. And although some of the terms are pretty obvious like ‘xmas’ others are, let’s face it, disturbing.

At the top of the list is ‘Santa’ which shot up a huge 447%.when compared to average levels. Then you have the niche searches like ‘elf porn’ (up 464%), ‘bad santa’ (395%) or the more sinister sounding ‘santas little helper’ (up 808%).

Other big risers are at numbers 5 and 6 on the list; christmas orgy (up 796%) and christmas party (up 921%), while naughty santa (up 729%) and santas horny helpers (up 778%) also make impressive moves.

Apparently, men are more turned on by the prospect of Christmas than women – searching 34% more times. But, women lead the way when it comes to Santa – up some 121% – on men.

And, yes, plenty of people manage to find a spare few minutes to search for porn on the big day too. Santa searches increase by 374% on Christmas Day, while ‘Mrs Claus’ goes up 536%.

How festive.

Cicada Market

To Khao Takiab Centre which found that 51 per cent of Monopoly matches have ended in a feud, with quarrels most likely caused by mavericks ‘making up the rules as they go along,’ with 37 per cent of respondents citing it as their number-one bugbear. Second on the list were overly smug contestants who gloat when things are going their way. And someone deliberately buying property you want, even if they donít need it, also gets the blood boiling.

Craig Wilkins, Marketing Director of Hasbro UK & Ireland, who commissioned the research, said: ‘Our hotline will be open from 24 th - 26th December, when families will be able to call and get mediation on any game-based arguments.We’ll have experts on hand with the official rulebooks to instantly settle any disputes, and advice on how to resolve common complaints, with each person also having the opportunity to make a donation to Childline when they call.’

TOP 10 MONOPOLY ARGUMENTS 1. People making up rules 2. People being too cocky when winning 3. Someone buying a property you want, even when they don’t need it 4. People taking too long to take their turn 5. Someone stealing from the bank 6. Someone deliberately mis-counting their move 7. Who gets to be the banker UK 8. The property auction process Monopoly has set up a helpline in the UK to stop bust-ups this 9. Choice over tokens Christmas 10. What the rules of “Free Parking” are The helpline was launched following a survey of 2,000 adults

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AREA 555 9. Prince Philip looks out of the window on Christmas Eve. “That’s some reindeer,” he says. The Queen replies: “63 years.

Yes, that is a lot”.

Got some great jokes?

Send them to us on submissions@awolonline.net

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CHRISTMAS CRACKERS 1. How will Christmas dinner be different after Brexit?

No Brussels.

10. What’s the difference between the clementine in your Christmas stocking and Donald Trump?

Nothing, they’re both a little orange.

2. What do workers at Sports Direct get for Christmas dinner?

About five minutes.

11. What’s the best advice you can give at the Ukip Christmas party? Avoid the punch.

3. How do you recognise a Christmas tree from BHS? All the branches have gone.

12. Why did the three wise men only have frankincense and myrrh? Because Team GB took all the gold.

4. I bought my mum Mary Berry’s cookbook for Christmas. I tried to get Paul Hollywood’s but he’d sold out.

13. Why can’t the England football team play Yahtzee this Christmas? Because they got rid of Allardyce.

5. What’s David Cameron’s favourite Christmas song? All I Want For Christmas is EU. 14. Why is everyone filing for divorce and custody of the kids this Christmas? Tis the season to be Jolie.

6. Why has Hillary Clinton asked Santa for a 23-letter alphabet?

Because she is sick of F-B-I. 15. Why doesn’t Sam Allardyce help load Santa’s sleigh? Because it takes him 67 days to get the sack.

7. Why didn’t Roy Hodgson go to visit Santa at the North Pole?

He couldn’t get past Iceland.

16. How do you pay respect to David Bowie this Xmas? By serving some Ziggy pudding.

8. Why are Jeremy Corbyn’s Christmas cards on the floor?

His cabinet collapsed.

17. Why did Ed Balls fail an audition to play one of Santa’s reindeer in a Christmas pantomime? Because he’s no Dancer.

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LIFE ON MARS

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CHRISTMAS IN PARADISE To those who have never spent Christmas and/or New Year in the tropics, it always sounds like a wonderful way to celebrate the festive season, particularly for those hailing from the coldest parts of the world, and indeed a flood of Scandinavians, Canadians, Russians and others will head out of their cold, dark, wet or frozen homelands to seek the sun every year. A common expression to describe these travellers is ‘snowbirds’ because of their annual migration.

However, attempting to have a traditional Christmas poses some obstacles; obviously the lack of snow rules out toboganning, snowball fights and snowmen, but less obviously than that, for the last couple of years in Thailand there has been a distinct shortage of turkeys. Various stories have abounded about the reason for this, but our most reliable sources last year told us that this was due to a ban on most imported turkeys due to fears of bird flu, while this year we have not heard any solid reason for the shortage. The birds we have seen have either been scrawny looking ‘Young’ turkeys from Thailand, or horrendously expensive imported ones.

The issue of turkeys does lead on to a related issue though; having managed to obtain a decent sized turkey, few people actually possess an oven big enough to cook them as a standard item in their kitchen. Many kitchens in houses here have just a hob as the vast majority of Thais don’t use anything else. While there are standalone ovens available, very few of them are big enough to handle cooking the Christmas dinner, so that would mean investing in a built in oven man enough for the job.

Imported goods are expensive here, so whether you opt for making your own mince pies or buying them ready made, you might also be in for a shock, if you are able to find them of course. We actually estimate it would cost more to make them yourself than buying the ready made ones, but it wouldn’t quite be Christmas in some households, would it?

Christmas puddings are also a little hard to come by, certainly the ones large enough for a family anyway, but thankfully when it is time to pour and light the brandy there are plenty of cheap local options!

That peculiarly British phenomenon, the Christmas Cracker, is also another hard to find item, and will probably be missing from most Christmas Dinners here, but our Jokes page opposite this week at least allows you to indulge in telling some corny cracker jokes - but we couldn’t find any paper hats, sorry!

Wherever you are reading this, we hope that your Christmas is whatever you want it to be. Whether you are soaking up the sun and having your egg nog in the pool, or viewing a more traditionally festive scene from the safety of a centrally heated home while reading AWOL online, we wish you a very Merry Christmas.

Send your comments or suggestions for this column to us at submissions@awolonline.net (Subject/Title ‘Life On Mars’) or on Facebook at www.facebook. com/AWOLexpat (please Like our page as well!)

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CLASSIFIEDS BUSINESS

SMALL GUESTHOUSE, BAR,

restaurant, established in prime location, 5 bedrooms, 5 bathrooms, 2 clean kitchens, 2 eating areas (inside/ outside). Large private lounge upstairs. Customer base throughout year.

Cheap rent paid up to September 2017. Good landlord. Parking front and rear. Owner relocating. Price includes everything, 850,000 baht. Also resident staff. Terms available. Details 09307 46204 THRIVING LOCAL RESTAURANT and premises for sale. Two storey townhouse on a corner plot comprising a small restaurant with two kitchen areas and toilet on the ground floor, and 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms on the upper floor, located in a busy residential area with several large estates in walking distance. Reluctantly selling this excellent property and business to invest elsewhere. Price 5.2 m baht. Please call 093 139 9655.

EMPLOYMENT

ADVERTISE FOR STAFF here for free!

No Win No Fee

www.legalserviceshuahin.com

GENERAL - SPORTS

NEW POOL CUES for sale RAID Low Deflection Shaft 2-piece Custom

SERVICES

SELF STORAGE ANY item, furniture, m’bikes, bicycles, baggage etc.

Discount for long term contracts. Call David on 092 927 7207 or Email davidhodgins@ymail.com WANTED

PLACE YOUR WANTED ads here for free!

GENERAL

WHIRLPOOL FAN OVEN

Lawyer Hua Hin

and extractor. Perfect working order, for sale because new kitchen came with new set. 5,000 baht. Contact seller through AWOL Classifieds Facebook group.

BED FRAME 90% condition. Size 160cm x 200cm. Bed is one year old and I bought it with 16k. Buy bed and you get Mattress free. Mattress have 8 years guarantee. Moving out sale. 3,500 baht. Call 085 183 7059 Tim PS4 GAMES IN perfect condition. Selling these 6 PS4 games, all like new in great condition. Assassins Creed: Chronicles - THB 500, Bloodborne THB 1000, Dragons Age: Inquisition - THB 1000, Homefront: The Revolution - THB 1000, Just Cause 3 - THB 1250, Mortal Kombat X - THB 1000.

Preferrably sold all together for THB 5000. Contact seller through AWOL Classifieds Facebook group.

BBQ BILLABONG MAKE Used but good working condition the BBQ is supplied with gas bottle and valve. 5,250 baht. Call 086 211 8250 COFFEE MACHINE HIGH quality. Fiamma high level coffee machine for sale. After minimal training if needed you will be able to make stunning coffee’s such as cappuccino, late’, mocca, americano, expresso etc.. It comes with grinder, foamer, cool foamer and some appropriate cups and saucers.

The machine is currently on display at Anjana Coffee ( Hua Hin Coffee) who provide servicing, at the top of the Pala U Rd in/near Hinlekfai. The asking price is 59,000 but reasonable offers would be considered. The cost of above including the accessories was 88,000. The machine only used for 1 year and has been serviced ready for a new owner. Call 086 211 8250

Pool Cue with Sport Wrap by Falcon Cues. R650 Low Deflection Technology Selected Canadian 13mm Maple Shaft with 5 Layer Leather Tip; 3.5 Thread Quick Release Joint; Black Base Forearm with Contrasting Blue Point and 3D Bubble Grip Sport Wrap. Comes with Gray Sleeve and Joint Protector. only 4900 Baht each. Have a look @ Lucky Shot Pool Bar Poonsuk Road evening after 8 pm LAKE VIEW GOLF Club, wanted 2 membership. Please contact me.

E-mail andresen.p@gmail.com. Phone 0615450882 Petter Andresen PICKLEBALL PAKNAM PRAN Pickleball partner for single play needed for early morning play or late afternoon play at Evason Resort. Email sledpullric@gmail.com BADMINTON PLAYER ? We play every monday and friday from 9 to 10 h in a sport center north of Hua Hin. We play in double and are looking for one or two players to complete our team. Average level. Tel Robert 098 356 2290 BORED? NO MORE! Pickleball is here! Join expats playing the fastest growing sport in Europe and North America! PICKLEBALL. But we play right here in Hua Hin every Tuesday, Thursday & Saturday from 11-1! We emphasize OPT - On the Play Training with plenty of fun exercise and socializing! Check us out on Facebook- Pickleball Hua Hin and watch the game and fundamentals on Youtube!!

AUTO: GENERAL

MOTORBIKE/CAR RENT MOTORBIKES 250 a day, 1400 a week, 4500 a month, Cars from 900 a day, 4000 a week, 12,000 a month. Please call David on 092 927 7207 or email davidhodgins@ymail.com for more information

AUTO: 3 WHEELS & LESS

ADVERTISE YOUR MOTORBIKE

wheels or less here! For pricing see box below

or other vehicle with three

PLACING A CLASSIFIED WITH AWOL

All adverts are free except adverts for Property For Rent or Sale, Business or Services and Auto.

Free ads will be included for at least four weeks automatically. Please use our online Classifieds to enhance your chances of a successful ad.

Option 1: register or log in at www.awolonline.net/classifieds and place your advert there; Option 2: email to classifieds@awolonline.net; Option 3: write the details clearly in BLOCK capitals on paper and mail or drop it in to our office (address on page 17) The deadline for guaranteed inclusion in that week’s issue is 6pm on Tuesday. Please notify us if your advert is no longer needed.

Business, Services and Property for sale or rent Rates: Up to 50 words: 500 baht for 4 issues, 1000 baht for 13 issues. Additional words charged at 20 baht per word.

Example: 60 words charged at 500 plus (10 x 20)=700 baht for 4 issues, or 1000 plus (10 x 20)=1200 for 13 issues.

Please note that paid ads placed online can have up to 750 words and 3 images depending on which plan is selected.

There is also a fixed fee and/or commission deal available for Property - please contact property@awolonline.net or realestate@luckyhuahin. com for details.

Auto Rates: Items priced up to 10,000 baht, 13 issues for 500 baht. Items priced over 10,000 baht, 13 issues for 1000 baht. Maximum 50 words for all ads; unpriced items pay the higher rate.

Contact classifieds@awolonline.net for further information or to place an advert.

CLASSIFIEDS

AUTO: 4 WHEELS PLUS

PROPERTY FOR RENT

ADVERTISE YOUR CAR for sale here and on the AWOL Classifieds POOL VILLA FOR rent. 3 Bed, 3 Bath, very private, nice garden, large website - just 1000 baht to list for 13 issues/3 months. Go to www.awolonline. net/classifieds, email classifieds@awolonline.net or call 081 649 8361 to place your ad.

PROPERTY FOR SALE

TWO BED HOUSE For Rent Or Sale Soi 102. Fully furnished, internet

connection, cable tv, laundry machine. Space to park car & motor bike inside.

Location over railway tracks soi 102 600 meters after 7 eleven turn left. Rent : 12,000 p.m. Sale: 3.2 mill o.t.o. Tel 087 169 8440 eng 085 293 3843 thai STUDIO APARTMENT IN Khao Takiab for sale. A great investment opportunity with a yield of 10%. This apartment is in Baan Plean Ploen in Khao Takiab. This 30 square meter apartment on the 3rd floor facing the swimming pool is fully furnished with free communal swimming pool fitness and Wifi, and TV with True Visions. 30 metres to the local beach and the green bus to Hua Hin is nearby. For sale for 1.85m or I will accept a reasonable offer. It rents for 15,000 per month. Email chris.b@btinternet. com or call 090 996 4731 LARGE HOUSE AND land near Cha Am for sale; 200 sqm living area on 2.5 rai just 4.8m baht. Also adjacent land of 0.7 rai available for 480,000 baht or make an offer for both. Contact 089 530 8771 or go to luckyhuahin.com for photos and information.

PROPERTY WANTED

pool, outdoor dining, free water, free cable TV, unlimited high speed internet.

4km from Hua Hin centre. 38,000 baht per month. Call 087 719 7388 TO LET 2-BED unfurnished house in Karat Village, Hua Hin. Suitable for basic accommodation, small business use or storage. Dry, secure, quiet location; small garden & car parking. No dogs. B 8000/month. Tel: 081 262 7580 (Thai); 085 291 6912 (English).

TOWNHOUSE FOR RENT, Great location (5km West of town), 2 bed, 2 bath, fully furnished, fully fitted kitchen (fridge, hob, oven, microwave) internet, cable TV, ready to move in. CALL JA ON: 083 316 6424 Price 10,000 baht a month ROOMS FROM 3000 bt p/m, Apartments 7000 bt p/m All close to beach, Condo with sea view and pool 12,000 bt p/m. Weekly and daily rates available. Tiks Place at VIP Condo just north of Hua Hin airport, opposite Palm Hills. Please call David on 092 927 7207 or email davidhodgins@ymail. com for more information

PERSONALS

PLACE YOUR PERSONAL personal services etc

ads here - looking for companionship,

ANNOUNCEMENTS

NEW! MAKE YOUR

LONG TERM ACCOMMODATION required to rent from November

in central Hua Hin. 2 bed or spacious 1 bed furnished condo. Gym, pool and internet essential. Phone 063 410 0280

COMMERCIAL PROPERTY

personal or business announcement here; Weddings, Birthdays, Funerals, Obituaries, Barmitzvahs, Parties, anything!

Up to 50 words just 100 baht for two issues, up to 150 words plus a picture for 300 baht for two issues. Place ads and pay online on the Announcements board of the AWOL Forum at www.awolonline.net/forum/index.php?board=16, or in person at our office, or by emailing us and transfering the payment to our bank. Contact submissions@awolonline.net for help or information.

SUNRISE COAST COMMERCIAL

properties - we have a variety of land, resorts and other commercial opportunities available in the Bang Saphan area. Contact 089 530 8771 for details.

DISCLAIMER

All articles are published in good faith and based on information available to us at publication. Some articles are satire or ‘spoof ’ stories intended as humour.

No responsibility is accepted other than that stipulated by law. Although the information in this publication has been obtained from sources believed to be reliable, AWOL cannot guarantee accuracy in all cases. Any opinions expressed are those of the contributor and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher.

All materials copyright. All rights reserved and no part of this publication may be reproduced in part or in full without the previous written consent of the publisher. Neither can any part be stored in a retrieval situation, nor transmitted by electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or any other means.

AWOL is printed by Petchpoom Printing, and we can be contacted on info@awolonline.net or 081 614 8728. Please send any other communications to Mrs Chukamol James, Managing Director, AWOL Co. Ltd., 136/229 Emerald Hill, Soi 6, Mooban Borfai, Hua Hin, Prachuap Kiri Khan, 7110, THAILAND.

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MONEY & INFORMATION OVERSEAS CALLS INFORMATION

USEFUL NUMBERS

REVERSE CHARGE CALLS The list below is the free number to connect to an operator of that country to request the reverse charge call.

ARGENTINA 001-999-54-1000/ 2000 AUSTRALIA 001-999-61-1000/2000 AUSTRIA 001-800-28787421 BAHRAIN 001-999-973-1000 BRUNEI 001-999-673-1000 CANADA 001-999-15-1000/2000 DENMARK 001-999-45-1000 FRANCE 001-999-33-1000 GERMANY 001-999-49-1000 HAWAII 001-800-865-8424 HONG KONG 001-999-852-1086 INDONESIA 001-999-62-1000/2000 ISRAEL 001-999-972-1000/ 2000 ITALY 001-999-39-1000 JAPAN 001-999-811-0051 KOREA 001-999-82-1000/ 2000/ 2001 MACAU 001-999-853-1000 MALAYSIA 001-999-60-1000/4000/ 4001 MALTA 001-999-356-1000 MEXICO 001-999-52-1000 NEPAL 001-800-977-1-9999 NETHERLANDS 001-999-31-1035 NEW ZEALAND 001-999-64-1066 PHILIPPINES 001-999-63-1000/ 3000/ 6000 PORTUGAL 001-999-351-1000 RUSSIA 001-999-7-1000 SINGAPORE 001-999-65-0000/ 2008 SOUTH AFRICA 001-999-27-1000 SPAIN 001-999-34-1066 TAIWAN 001-999-886-1000 U.A.E. 001-999-971-1000 U.K. 001-999-44-1066 U.S.A. 001-999-1-1111/ 2001/ 2002 Thanks to the staff at CAT in Hua Hin for providing the above numbers.

FREE AND CHEAP CALLS If your mobile phone or device and that of the person you are calling supports it, you can use a number of apps to make free calls anywhere, with the best known being Skype and Viber.

The mobile phone operators offer special numbers to prefix an international number to get cheap rate international calls. More information call True 1331 AIS 1175 DTAC 1678

Police 191 Crime 195 Fire 199 Traffic Control Centre 197 Highway Police 1193 Tourist Police 1699 Tourist Service Centre 1155 Missing Persons 02 282 1815 Police Station 032 511 027 Tourist Police 032 516 219 Cha-Am Police 032 471 321 Bangkok Hospital 1719 Hua Hin Hospital 032 511 743 San Paulo Hospital 032 532 576 to 585 Red Cross 032 512 567 Municipality 032 532433 Tessabahn 032 511 047 Immigration 032 520 617 Bus Terminal (non air-con) 032 511 230 (air-con) 032 511654, 512543 Railway Station 032 511 073 Tourist Information 032 513 885 Electricity Office 032 512 215 Electricity Call Centre 1129 Water Office 032 511 677 TOT 032 519 000/001 TOT Call Centre 1100 TT&T 032 532 018 3BB 032-900020-1, 086-0127273 3BB Call Centre 1530 CAT 032 511 350 Alcoholics Anonymous 0870 620 098 Narcotics Anonymous 084 314 1928

EXCHANGE RATES (21-12-16)

CURRENCY BAHT Algerian Dinar 0.323 Argentine Peso 2.26 Australian Dollar 26 Bitcoin 28323 Brazilian Real 10.7 British Pound 44.5 Bulgarian Lev 19.1 Canadian Dollar 26.8 Chilean Peso 0.053 Chinese Yuan 5.17 Croatian Kuna 4.98 Czech Koruna 1.38 Danish Krone 5.02 Egyptian Pound 1.88 Ethereum 273 Euro 37.4 Hong Kong Dollar 4.62 Hungarian Forint 0.12 Iceland Krona 0.315 Indian Rupee 0.529 Indonesian Rupiah 0.0027 Iranian Rial 0.0011 Israeli New Shekel 9.33 Japanese Yen 0.306 Korean Won 0.0301 Malaysian Ringgit 8 Mexican Peso 1.76 New Zealand Dollar 24.8 Nigerian Naira 0.114 Norwegian Krone 4.13 Pakistan Rupee 0.343 Philippine Peso 0.718 Polish Zloty 8.44 Qatari Rial 9.85 Romanian Leu 8.27 Russian Ruble 0.581 Saudi Riyal 9.57 Serbian Dinar 0.305 Singapore Dollar 24.8 South African Rand 2.54 LOCAL CONSULAR Sri Lanka Rupee 0.24 REPRESENTATIVES Swedish Krona 3.83 Swiss Franc 34.9 CANADIAN Taiwan Dollar 1.12 Rick Pomerleau 087 153 3817 or e-mail Turkish Lira 10.2 rickpomerleau@hotmail.com UAE Dirham

9.77 FINNISH US Dollar 35.9 Mr. Sipi Siljamaeki 087-911 8119 or e-mail: Ukraine Hryvnia 1.37 suthiporn.siljamaki@gmail.com

AMERICAN AWOL makes no warranties, express or implied, Mr. Christopher Byrd 081-173 4469 or e-mail: regarding these rates and shall not be liable for any chrs@tourdeasia.org losses or damages incurred in connection with them.

TO HULL AND BACK Restaurant & Bakery in Samorphrong

OPEN 11AM - 9PM EVERY DAY (Closed Tuesdays) Delicious Home Cooked Western & Thai Food DAILY SPECIALS - CHECK OUR BLACKBOARD Breakfasts - Fresh Bread Baked Daily Free Wi-Fi - Easy Parking Contact us on 093 139 9655 or food@passportcafehuahin.com

We will be closed from Christmas Day to Tuesday 3rd January

Menu on passportcafehuahin.com and Facebook page Passport-Cafe Directions: From Hua Hin go north on the Klong (Canal) Road through the traffic lights and turn left at the blue bridge with the water tower next to it, then immediately right before the 7-11. Follow this road for approximately 1.5 km and you will find us on the right opposite Tropical Hill.

••

YULETIDE LOWS AND HIGHS As Christmas, the season of good will (not to mention high season) descends on Hua Hin the future of those seafront restaurants and shops still seems to hang in the balance.

Employees of Marks and Sparks in the UK will know how that feels, with the locations of 30 stores destined to close yet to be announced. As always of course a lot can change in the short time it takes for AWOL to go to press, so maybe M and S are just waiting for the right time to announce redundancies, like closing time on the 24th.

To be fair the great British High Street struggles more than a street food vendor at Songkhran, so maybe M and S are making a sensible long term decision in streamlining a bit.

The season of good will this year will also be lacking the festive sound of the bells of York Minster. As a historic town with a lot of character which has been preserved over the centuries, (with emphasis on the ‘character’ and ‘preserved’ there) it has to be said that York is even more well known than Hua Hin, and the Minster, which dates back to Roman times, is one of the biggest attractions on offer.

For the last 655 Christmases its’ bells have rung out in celebration without missing a bong, but this year there will be no bell ringers to do the job, because they have all been dismissed. It is all to do with the risk of fumblings and other goings on in the vestry unless the ringers all have those bits of paper called CRB checks, which ensure they have clean records.

But not to worry, the Central Council of Church Bell Ringers is sorting it out.

And talking about big attractions, Bangkok has plans to build a new one. As if Patpong weren’t enough, there is talk of a new sightseeing tower on the banks of the Chao Phraya river. With 33 floors above ground the tower will stand 459 metres high to become the latest tallest building in the city. An additional two basement levels will be handy for incarcerating any visitor who complains about the 750 baht admission charge.

On This Day

To give an idea of just how high Bangkoks’ tower will be, on December 23rd 1970 the north tower of the World Trade Centre in New York was topped out at 417 metres, making it the tallest building in the world at that time.

Much as I hate to keep you from buying the sprouts, just one more anniversary to note. On December 23rd 1919 Britain passed the ‘Sex disqualification (removal) act.’ A clumsy way of saying that women would be allowed to do some things they couldn’t do before. Important things like becoming lawyers, jurors and magistrates.

A big step for women at that time, but even then Judges retained the power to select male only juries for cases which may offend women due to the nature of the evidence involved. For example when trying rape cases. Or perhaps there was concern that female jurors would swoon, or, heaven forbid, sympathise with the victims? Whatever the real reason that proviso in the new law continued until 1972, by which time we were all wearing hot pants.

And with that scary thought, I leave you to pull your crackers.

Happy Christmas to all !

CONTACTING AWOL TELEPHONE:

081 649 8361 (Eng) or 081 614 8728 (Thai) OFFICE:

WEBSITE:

www.awolonline.net FACEBOOK:

136/229 Emerald Hill, Soi 6, Borfai, Hua Hin, 77110, AWOLexpat Prachuap Kiri Khan TWITTER: EMAIL:

info@awolonline.net

awolhuahin

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EVENTS & NOTICEBOARD Welcome to our collaborative section with Hua Hin’s only local radio station playing Western music 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, the one and only Surf 102.5 FM! Every day Surf features local events and activities that visitors and locals might be interested in enjoying, and you will find these below. If you know of an event, activity or regular happening that is not listed here or in our Balloon Chasers section, please get in touch by email to either AWOL (submissions@awolonline.net or Surf 102.5 FM (surf102.5fm@gmail.com) or via either of the respective Facebook pages; AWOLexpat or Surf102.5.

UPCOMING INFORM AWOL OR SURF FM of your charitable the members in the group has a chance to or non commercial event and we will announce host a dinner party in his/her home for the it here other members. If you love cooking and like to make new friends you should join. You do ONGOING not need to be an expert. Tel. Robert 0983 RESCUE PAWS is a non-profit organization 562290 based in Hua Hin dedicated to helping DUSIT THANI HUA HIN SOCCER and improving the lives of Thailand’s stray ACADEMY: exercise and professional animal population. Find out more on their football coaching for kids. website rescuepawsasia.org or Facebook page HUA HIN HASH HOUSE HARRIERS every RescuePawsThailand Saturday around the area. (see p22) TRASH HERO HUA HIN now every Sunday CICADA MARKET AND PERFORMING at 3pm a beach area gets cleaned. See their ARTS FAIR. The Venue@Suansri. Fri/Sat eponymous Facebook page for weekly details evenings from sunset to 12 pm, Sundays from HUA HIN HOBBY COOKING CLUB If cooking 4pm; Dining, shopping, art, performances, is your hobby you can join an international and films in a beautiful park-like setting. A group of hobby cooks in Hua Hin. Each one of great place to spend an evening

SURF 102.5 FM SCHEDULE The Marriott Breakfast Show with Steve Johnston Mon. to Fri. 6:30 - 10:00 Asia Pop 40 with Dom Lau Sat. 09:00 - 12:00, Sun. 15:00 18:00 Tue. 21:00 - 24:00 “Something On The Radio” with James Ross Sun., Wed., Fri. 21:00-23:00 LA Spinz with Peter Reynolds Mon., Wed., Fri. 19:30 Q Burn Rocks On with Peter Antony Fri. 23:00

THE AWOL NOTICEBOARD ND? IN THAILA DRIVING g nal drivin Internatio 00 8 1 d 5 years licence vali . bt Call 71 (Eng) 089 530 87

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS If you want to drink, that’s your business, if you want to stop, we can help.

Call to speak to an AA member:

Peo (Swedish) - 086 012 0856 Henrik 095-950-7550 Loren - 081-007-6856 Terry - 091-883-7757

www.aathailand.org

Meetings every day in Hua Hin

Let’s Eat RESTAURANT

PUZZLES

Open 9am to 9pm English Breakfast and Thai Food Soi 3 Khao Takiab (next to 7-11) Call 082 294 5602

CODEWORD

Each letter in this puzzle is represented by a number 1-26. Can you crack the code and solve the crossword? Every letter of the alphabet is used at least once.

Two or three letters are already in place to get you started. Use the 1-26 small grid to keep track.

LAST ISSUE’S SOLUTION

A N

B O

C P

D Q

E R

F S

G H T U

I J K V W X

L Y

M Z

CROSSWORD ACROSS 1 Harm (6) 4 Uproar (6) 9 Style (7) 10 Italian city of ham and cheese (5) 11 19th century French painter (5) 12 Swift or violent stream (7) 13 I should be so lucky! (6,5,2,1,4,5) 18 See 13 20 See 13 22 Formal (5) 23 Tower with spire (7) 24 Excessively sweet (6) 25 Underwriters with “names” (6)

The solution to last week’s puzzle is on page 19

DOWN 1 Flaw - change sides (6) 2 Hoarder of money (5) 3 Tingles (anag) - shine (7) 5 Superior (5) 6 Cheaper option for pub food (3,4) 7 Opposite fairy tale characters (6,3,3,5) 8 See 7 14 Caption - direction (7) 15 Basis for porridge (7) 16 Humiliates (6) 17 Way out (6) 19 Deduce (5) 21 Suggest (5)

17

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BALLOON CHASERS

••

Parties, special deals, regular events, celebrations and more; and for bookings. Sunset Boulevard is 150 metres past the Ibis to get it in AWOL email info@awolonline.net. hotel going south on the Takiap Road.

TK ROADHOUSE, KHAO TAKIAB; First Tuesday of every RECENTLY ADDED AND COMING SOON month ‘The Best Quiz In Town’! 8 rounds, beer questions, free RED PIANO, SOI KANJANOMAI; Saturday 31st December Cottage Pie and bread. from 6.30pm New Years Eve Party with International Buffet BRITISH STYLE SUNDAY ROASTS: Dinner; 999 baht per person or 1499 baht with 2 hours free flow beer, wine and soft drink. Booking with deposit call 032 Bobby’s Bar, Soi 102 900510 Father Teds, Damnoernkasem Road TAKE 5, KHAO TAKIAB; Saturday 31st December from Hua Hin Miss You, Soi 80 7.30pm 2017 New Year Party. Free flow wine and beers, Jungle Juice, Soi Selekam European, Thai and Indian buffet, sparkling wine, live music Mucky Duck, Bonkai (Soi 88) and DJ all night. 2,000 baht per adult, 500 baht child (5 - 12). Nit’s Kitchen, Soi 94 Bookings 081 857 4328.

Orchid Restaurant 94, Soi 94 Palm Bistro, Soi 88 (032 828144) REGULAR EVENTS Seajays Resort, off Pala-U Road. 083 311 1787 BOBBY’S BAR, SOI 102.; The 99 baht breakfast is Back! FREE Sunset Boulevard, Khao Takiab Bookings only 084 376 9438 Sunday Roast - spend 200 baht and get a free Chicken or Pork Ye Olde Buffalo Tavern, Chomsin Rd Sunday Roast, spend an extra 80 baht and you can get Lamb. Zab Wer, Soi 112.

Available from 12.30 to 6.30pm. All You Can Eat Fish & Chips CHRISTMAS OFFERS every Friday from 5pm when spend 200 bt.

DIZZY DOLPHIN, SOI SAMORPHONG; Happy Hour every YE OLDE BUFFALO TAVERN, CHOMSIN ROAD; Now day from 1 - 7pm - Samsong + mixer 40 baht, Wine 55 baht, taking bookings for Christmas Day Lunch 950 baht (see ad p5) small/large domestic beers 45/65 baht.

PORK PIES HUA HIN, SOI 88/1; Large selection of pies DOUBLE D, SOI 6; Happy Hour every day from 3 - 6pm available, order your pies for Christmas now. (see ad p2) - Samsong + mixer 40 baht, Wine 55 baht, San Miguel and FATHER TEDS, DAMNOERNKASEM ROAD; 3 course Heineken 65 baht, small/large domestic beers 45/70 baht.

Christmas Dinner 850 baht, plus on 26th Dec Christmas Buffet FATHER TEDS, DAMNOERNKASEM ROAD; Live music, 700 baht. Call 081 717 7496 special food and drink offers, draught Guinness, something RED PIANO, SOI KANJANOMAI; Christmas Day, two 2 happening every night! See add on p13 for details. hour sittings at 1pm and 3pm. Five course Christmas Meal, MUCKY DUCK, SOI 88/94; Now available - Draught Stowford 1990 baht per person, or 2880 baht per person including 2 Cider 150 bt for 600 ml. hours Free Flow Beer, Wine and Soft Drink. Plus Live Music.

PASSPORT CAFE, SAMORPHRONG; Now open for Bookings with deposit only call 032 900510 Breakfasts, Freshly baked bread, Daily Specials and more (see HUA HIN HAM, BACON & MEAT CO., SOI 41; Order your ad p9) cooked Christmas Roasts today - full menu on the website (see RED PIANO, SOI KANJANOMAI; Happy Hour every day ad p1) from 5 - 7pm buy one get one free.

BOBBY’S BAR, SOI 102.; Christmas day (25th), from 4.00pm SPOTS POOL BAR, SOI 88; Draft Singha and Leo just 65 baht. till 9.00pm. Christmas Turkey Dinner with all the trimmings, THE PALM BISTRO, SOI 88; Join their Sunday Lunch Club Starters, Prawn Cocktail, Dinner, followed with Dessert of and start earn ing a free Sunday Roast (see ad p3) Mince Pie, Apple Pie or Blueberry Pie, and Ice Cream, all you UNCLE BRYN’S (2KM PAST PALM HILLS NORTH ALONG can drink, Draft beer, Red or White Wine, ONLY 975 bt. Book KLONG ROAD. TURN LEFT AND 200M ON LEFT.); Large early, seating for ONLY 40, selling fast. Call 089 985 7473 Chang 55 baht, large Leo 58 baht. Open daily 7am-late. 085 405 NANYS CAFE, SOI 88; Open for Bookings for 25/12/2016 Start 6976 (T) 080 197 2072(E) 1pm. Serving traditional Christmas Lunch/Dinner: includes imported Norbest roast turkey, roast potato, mash potato, 4 PUB QUIZZES veg, sage and onion stuffing and cranberry sauce; Traditional KING BAR, SOI BINTHABAHT; Quiz second Monday of christmas pudding seved with custard. Price for turkey 800 every month (next one Monday 9th January 2017 at 7.30 pm) baht, Chicken or pork 500 baht. Inc 1 free beer or glass of wine Call 082-4699542 . Free entry, food and prizes - hosted by Hawk - all welcome.

KOM HOM, SOI 94; First Sunday every month from 7pm Bingo and Quiz Night (January please check) - call 085 294 1319 for details SUNSET BOULEVARD, KHAO TAKIAB; All video, home made fun pub quiz. Third Tuesday of every month (next one is on Tuesday 17th January,). 10 rounds including 2 audio visual and 2 table rounds. There is limited space so early bookings are strongly recommended. Call Mike 084 3769438 for more info

LOCAL GOLF/ HASH HOUSE HARRIERS BUTTERFLY ROCK GOLF SOCIETY

RESULTS 19TH DECEMBER 2016 Lake View AB Stableford 21 entered 1st Fred Alvarado 38 pts (20) 2nd Terry Hofgartner 37 pts (25) 3rd Aura Buahom 35 pts (36) 4th Elina Rintala 34 pts (28) 14TH DECEMBER 2016 Banyan Stableford, Nearest the Pins and Twos 40 entered 1st Patrick Morrissey 40 pts (27) 2nd Len Ogembo 38 pts (06) 3rd Elina Rintala 38 pts (29) 4th Mark Gagliardi 37 pts (12)

FIXTURES 26th December 2016 Lake View A & B Stableford 28th December 2016 Black Mountain Stableford RONNIE’S ROLL UP

Held every Friday at Palm Hills. Please contact Ronnie on 0811 942 556 if you are interested in joining in, and thanks to Nigel for the results.

16TH DECEMBER 2016 No results available CHA AM GOLF CLUB

Contact: secretary@chaamgolfclub.com FIXTURES 4th January 2017 Lake View New year welcome

CROSSWORD SOLUTION

Here is last week’s Crossword solution.

HUA HIN GOLF SOCIETY

RESULTS 20TH DECEMBER 2016 Majestic A - B Stableford 34 entered 1st Andrew McDermott 41 pts (08) 2nd Thomas Pagden 40 pts (01) 3rd Robert Bird 39 pts (18) 4th Ian Strathearn 38 pts (14) 16TH DECEMBER 2016 Banyan H.H.G.S. CHARITY TEXAS SCRAMBLE 24 teams 1st Jo Sims, Adrian Salt, Mick Gill (Guest), Hawk (Guest), 60 - 03.8 = 56.2 2nd Morten Norragard, Phillipe Hattabe (Guest), John (Guest), Haken (Guest) 64 - 06.0 = 58.0 3rd Colin Whitby, Hubert Maldonado, Kieron Bose, Pascale (Guest) 63 - 04.1 = 58.9 4th Hans Van Der Voort, Eric Taylor, Paul Moran, Steve Brighton 66 - 06.8 = 59.2 FIXTURES 27th December 2016 Lake View Blind 9 hole Stableford 30th December 2016 No fixture LAKE VIEW MEMBERS CLUB

RESULTS 11 TH DECEMBER 2016 Course CD 1st Mark Simpson (16) 36pts 2nd M. Snakebite (5) 34pts 3rd Lars Kristiansen (7) 30pts 4th Mike Lord (13) 30pts 14TH DECEMBER 2016 Course CD 1st M. Snakebite (5) 33pts 2nd Hans (7) 28pts 3rd Andrew Woodhall (10) 28pts 4th Bill Hudson (24) 28pts 19TH DECEMBER 2016 Course AB 1st Rodger Teasdale (13) 35pts 2nd Mike Lord (13) 35pts 3rd Mike O’Brien (17) 34pts 4th Peter Tucker (11) 33pts FIXTURES Lake View every Monday, Wednesday, Friday

HASH HOUSE HARRIERS

A DRINKING CLUB WITH A RUNNING AND WALKING PROBLEM! The Cha-Am and Hua Hin Hash House Harrier Clubs meet alternate Saturdays for around an hour’s. run/walk in the surrounding countryside followed by a social gathering. lf you would like to come along then visit our website www. h2h3-cah3.weebly.com or Facebook at www.facebook.com/H2H3CAH3 for full details and directions. Please note that people attending and participating do so entirely at their own risk.

NEXT RUN SATURDAY 24TH DECEMBER 2016 MEETING @ 4:00 PM DRESS CODE: Christmas (Red & Green) Hua Hin House Harriers (H2H3) Run #348 Hares: Hugmanannygoat & Davey delayed Snacks: Doggy Style Tax Collector: Hugmanannygoat LOCATION: Near Sam Phan Nam Floating Market Google Map Link: goo.gl/maps/ D2YeZcbTJsF2 GPS Coordinates: N 12 27.732, E 99 55.402 (N 12.462204, E 99.923370) Google Map Link from Hua Hin via PhetKasem Rd: goo.gl/maps/ RNkg648DPdJ2 Google Map Link from Cha-Am via ByPass: goo.gl/maps/RMwwVgwmMy52 Directions: From Hua Hin & Cha-Am via Phet Kasem Road: Go south on Phet Kasem Rd and after taking the Railway flyover exit left and make your way to Soi 112. Continue on Soi 112 for 5.8km and turn LEFT to Sam Phan Nam Floating Market. Continue for 5.2km and turn LEFT (HHH sign) just before a school on your right. Drive 0.6km to run site.

Alternative from the bypass: Google Map Link: After taking the Pala-u Flyover go south for 6.8km and exit LEFT (sign posted Sam Phan Nam Floating Market) drive a further 4.6km and turn RIGHT to Floating Market and continue 5.2km, turn LEFT and go another 0.6km to site.

Any queries please call Hugmanannygoat on 081 015 4027 Hash Tax: Male Drinkers ฿200, Female Drinkers ฿150, Teetotalers ฿100, kids ฿50, under 8’s Free). Your effort to bring the CORRECT change would be very much appreciated.

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LOCAL SPORTS HUA HIN POOL BILLIARD LEAGUE

RESULTS WEEK 5 16TH DECEMBER 2016 Breeze Bar 1 - 7 Mucky Duck Humping Pig 6 - 2 Lucky Shot B Lucky Shot A 4 - 4 Home Bar Master Cues 1 - 7 Pits Pirates Pits Rangers 5 - 3 Spots Pool Bar 1 Spots Pool Bar 2 5 - 3 Coopers 94 LEAGUE TABLE Team Humping Pig Lucky Shot A Pits Rangers Home Bar Mucky Duck Pits Pirates Spots Pool Bar 1 Lucky Shot B Master Cues Breeze Bar Spots Pool Bar 2 Coopers 94

P W D L 5 5 0 0 5 4 1 0 5 4 0 1 5 3 1 1 5 3 0 2 5 3 0 2 5 2 0 3 5 1 1 3 5 1 1 3 5 1 0 4 5 1 0 4 5 0 0 5

+/- Pts 20 10 16 9 8 8 4 7 14 6 10 6 -4 4 -12 3 -14 3 -10 2 -10 2 -22 0

HUA HIN KHAO TAKIAB COOL POOL LEAGUE

FIXTURES The season is over. Details of the new season will appear here when available.

LEAGUE TABLE Team Robin Hood Mucky Duck TK Roadhouse Jungle Juice Muan Bar Exotic Bar The Connection Waring Bar JNB Spots Anytime Bar Pats Place

P 22 22 22 22 19 22 21 22 20 22 22 22

W 17 17 16 11 12 10 11 7 8 8 6 6

D 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0

L 5 5 6 11 7 12 10 15 12 14 16 16

+/130 128 28 10 67 -22 -13 -64 -16 -72 -78 -98

Pts 340 339 289 280 271 264 256 243 242 239 236 226

FIXTURES WEEK 6 23RD DECEMBER 2016 Coopers 94 v Master Cues Home Bar v Spots Pool Bar 2 Lucky Shot B v Breeze Bar Mucky Duck v Lucky Shot A Pits Pirates v Pits Rangers Spots Pool Bar 1 v Humping Pig

Ask about our drinks specials and other special offers Contact Andy on 086 178 1550 Email: aknabe@gmx.net 27/3 Poolsuk Road, Hua Hin

HUA HIN KHAO TAKIAB SUPER POOL LEAGUE

RESULTS WEEK 16 15TH DECEMBER 2016 Bobby’s Birds 12 - 9 Bobby’s Boys Drink & Shelter 16 - 5 Anytime Bar Exotic Bar 8 - 13 Cheeky Monkey Fin Bar 6 - 15 Muan Bar Mucky Duck 10 - 11 Home Sasa Bar 6 - 15 Lanla Bar TK Roadhouse 15 - 6 Spots Tore’s Bar 8 - 13 The Dream

LEAGUE TABLE

102 & 88 SATURDAY POOL LEAGUE

FIXTURES WEEK 3 24TH DECEMBER 2016 Master Ques v Dara Bar Mucky Duck v Bobby’s Bar

Hua Hin’s only pool bar with FOUR 9’ tables

FIXTURES WEEK 18 29TH DECEMBER 2016 Bobby’s Birds v The Dream Drink & Shelter v Muan Bar Exotic Bar v Anytime Bar Fin Bar v Bobby’s Boys Mucky Duck v Cheeky Monkey Sasa Bar v Home TK Roadhouse v Lanla Bar Tore’s Bar v Spots

WEEK 7 30TH DECEMBER 2016 Breeze Bar v Spots Pool Bar 1 Humping Pig v Pits Pirates Lucky Shot B v Mucky Duck Master Cues v Home Bar Pits Rangers v Coopers 94 Spots Pool Bar 2 v Lucky Shot A

RESULTS WEEK 2 17TH DECEMBER 2016 Bobby’s Bar 9 - 9 Master Ques Dara Bar 9 - 9 Mucky Duck

LUCKY SHOT BAR

LEAGUE TABLE Team Bobby’s Bar Master Ques Dara Bar Mucky Duck

P W D L 2 1 1 0 2 1 1 0 2 0 1 1 2 0 1 1

+/4 4 -4 -4

Pts 3 3 1 1

Team Muan Bar Mucky Duck Drink & Shelter Home Lanla Bar TK Roadhouse Cheeky Monkey Bobby’s Boys Fin Bar Exotic Bar Sasa Bar Spots Anytime Bar Bobby’s Birds Tore’s Bar The Dream

P 15 15 16 16 16 16 16 16 16 16 16 16 16 16 16 16

W 15 14 10 11 10 8 7 8 8 6 6 5 7 6 3 3

L 0 1 6 5 6 8 9 8 8 10 10 11 9 10 13 13

+/141 125 48 30 16 16 12 -8 -22 -32 -32 -40 -46 -46 -72 -90

Pts 228 220 192 183 176 176 174 164 157 152 152 148 145 145 132 123

LOCAL SPORTS HUA HIN SOCIAL POOL LEAGUE

RESULTS WEEK 9 21ST DECEMBER 2016 C 69 9 - 10 Jungle Juice B Jungle Juice A 9 - 10 Tiger Bar JW Red v Pink Panther n/a King Bar v JW Black n/a Limelight 13 - 6 Booz Bar N & G 9 - 10 Bentho Bar All Nations GH - No game

FIXTURES The season is over. New season details RESULTS WEEK 21 21ST DECEMBER 2016 will appear here when available.

LEAGUE TABLE

FIXTURES No fixtures until 11th January 2017 LEAGUE TABLE Team King Bar Limelight Pink Panther Tiger Bar Jungle Juice B Jungle Juice A Bentho Bar All Nations GH C 69 JW Red N&G JW Black Booz Bar

P W L 7 7 0 8 6 2 7 6 1 8 6 2 9 6 3 8 5 3 9 5 4 8 3 5 8 3 5 7 2 5 8 2 6 8 1 7 9 0 9

+/31 34 21 20 1 20 7 -4 -10 -15 -20 -26 -59

FRIENDS OF HUA HIN WEDNESDAY FUN POOL LEAGUE

HUA HIN WEDNESDAY POOL LEAGUE

Pts 14 12 12 12 12 10 10 6 6 4 4 2 0

Team Lucky Shot Cross Eyed Duck Pit’s Cafe 1 Kom Hom Bar Infinity Bar Cooper’s 94 The Breeze Home Cheeky Monkey Sabai Bar Jaew Bar Bar 80 Saloon

P 22 22 22 22 22 22 22 22 22 22 22 22

W 18 18 18 13 12 10 8 8 7 6 3 2

D 2 2 2 1 2 1 2 2 0 1 1 2

L 2 2 2 8 8 11 12 12 15 15 18 18

+/186 148 106 49 50 14 -42 -52 -75 -68 -162 -154

Pts 38 38 38 27 26 21 18 18 14 13 7 6

HUA HIN SOI 80 TUESDAY POOL LEAGUE

RESULTS WEEK 3 20TH DECEMBER 2016 Cross Eyed Duck 9 - 9 Cheeky Monkey Dream Bar 10 - 8 Bar 80 Saloon Euro 2 Bar 12 - 6 Mona Bar Exotic Bar 11 - 7 Miss U Bar Fin Bar 16 - 2 Mint Bar Hua Hin Bar 8 - 10 J.J. Sports Hut Bar - no game FIXTURES WEEK 4 27TH DECEMBER 2016 Bar 80 Saloon v Easy Bar Cheeky Monkey v Dream Bar J.J. Sports v Hut Bar Mint Bar v Hua Hin Bar Miss U Bar v Fin Bar Mona Bar v Exotic Bar Sunday Bar v Euro 2 Bar Cross Eyed Duck - no game

LEAGUE TABLE Team Fin Bar Dream Bar Exotic Bar Easy Bar Euro 2 Bar Cross Eyed Duck Cheeky Monkey J.J. Sports Hua Hin Bar Miss U Bar Bar 80 Saloon Sunday Bar Hut Bar Mint Bar Mona Bar

P W D 3 3 0 3 3 0 3 2 1 2 2 0 3 2 0 3 1 2 2 1 1 3 1 1 2 1 0 3 1 0 3 0 1 2 0 0 2 0 0 3 0 0 3 0 0

L 0 0 0 0 1 0 0 1 1 2 2 2 2 3 3

+/- Pts 42 9 16 9 12 7 12 6 6 6 4 5 8 4 -12 4 4 3 -4 3 -10 1 -10 0 -20 0 -24 0 -24 0

Bobby’s Bangers 8 - 12 Tik’s Bar Dara’s Bar 7 - 13 Master Cues Muan Bar 10 - 10 The Squealing Pig Mucky Duck 12 - 8 Bobby’s Beauties Sunset Boulevard 7 - 13 Pat’s Place T.K. Roadhouse 12 - 8 Sea U Bar

FIXTURES

No fixtures until 4th January 2017

LEAGUE TABLE Team Muan Bar Master Cues Squealing Pig Pat’s Place T.K. Roadhouse Sea U Bar Mucky Duck Tik’s Bar Dara’s Bar Bobby’s Bangers Sunset Boulevard Bobby’s Beauties

P 21 21 21 21 21 21 20 21 20 21 21 21

W 17 15 15 12 10 9 8 7 5 5 5 5

D 3 2 2 1 3 4 3 1 3 1 1 0

L 1 4 4 8 8 8 9 13 12 15 15 16

+/- Pts 98 37 88 32 60 32 8 25 26 23 -6 22 -2 19 -28 15 -38 13 -46 11 -76 11 -84 10

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Affordable Health Insurance from 50 baht per day with thai-health.com Contact andreas@thai-health.com

LOCAL SPORTS THURSDAY FRIENDLY POOL LEAGUE

HUA HIN/KHAO TAKIAB LADIES POOL LEAGUE

RESULTS WEEK 25 15TH DECEMBER 2016 Bar 80 Saloon 10 - 10 Komhom Bar Connections Cafe 8 - 12 Pit’s Cafe Cross Eyed Duck 11 - 9 The Breeze Dara Bar 11 - 9 Mona Bar Jaew Bar 13 - 7 Hut Bar MasterCues Bar 8 - 12 Coopers 94 Mint Bar 12 - 8 Hua Hin Bar FIXTURES No fixtures until 5th January 2017 LEAGUE TABLE Team Cross Eyed Duck Pit’s Cafe Komhom Bar Bar 80 Saloon MasterCues Bar Coopers 94 The Breeze Connections Dara Bar Mona Bar Hua Hin Bar Mr Dan’s Jaew Bar Mint Bar Hut Bar

P 23 24 24 23 23 24 23 23 23 24 23 23 23 23 24

W 21 21 16 13 16 12 11 9 12 7 5 9 3 1 1

D 1 1 3 5 0 3 4 2 0 5 4 0 4 3 1

L 1 2 5 5 7 9 8 12 11 12 14 14 16 19 22

+/198 130 108 72 70 40 22 -12 -24 -58 -58 -74 -116 -128 -170

Pts 372 348 329 297 297 287 267 244 242 230 215 211 182 171 158

RESULTS WEEK 34 19TH DECEMBER 2016 Ae De Dang Bar 8 - 10 Sunset Boulevard Anytime Bar v Sport Bar n/a Bar 80 Saloon 7 - 11 Sa Sa Bar Cheeky Monkey v Pit’s Cafe n/a Dara Bar 8 - 10 Pat’s Place Exotic Bar 4 - 14 TK Roadhouse Jaew Bar 4 - 14 Muan Bar Jungle Juice 14 - 4 Kom Hom Muan Bar 2 8 - 10 The Connection The Squealing Pig 8 - 10 Robin Hood FIXTURES WEEK 35 26TH DECEMBER 2016 Kom Hom v Muan Bar 2 Muan Bar v Jungle Juice Pat’s Place v Exotic Bar Pit’s Cafe v Dara Bar Robin Hood v Ae De Dang Bar Sa Sa Bar v Cheeky Monkey Sport Bar v Bar 80 Saloon Sunset Boulevard v Anytime Bar The Connection v The Squealing Pig TK Roadhouse v Jaew Bar LEAGUE TABLE Team Muan Bar Muan Bar 2 TK Roadhouse Sunset Boulevard Jungle Juice Kom Hom Squealing Pig The Connection Dara Bar Cheeky Monkey Robin Hood Anytime Bar Pat’s Place Sa Sa Bar Bar 80 Saloon Pit’s Cafe Ae De Dang Bar Jaew Bar Exotic Bar Sport Bar

P 34 34 34 34 34 34 34 33 34 33 34 32 34 33 34 32 34 34 34 33

W 32 26 22 21 21 20 19 15 16 16 13 13 12 9 9 8 7 7 6 8

D 1 2 5 6 6 4 5 6 4 2 4 4 1 6 1 3 4 3 5 0

L 1 6 7 7 7 10 10 12 14 15 17 15 21 18 24 21 23 24 23 25

+/268 152 134 98 86 84 50 26 9 -2 -10 -16 -86 -42 -112 -122 -139 -120 -126 -132

Pts 65 54 49 48 48 44 43 36 36 34 30 30 25 24 19 19 18 17 17 16

HUA HIN CITY F.C

FIXTURES The season is over. Details of the new season will appear here when available.

Hua Hin City F. C. is the local professional team formed in 2011, playing their matches at the Takiab Stadium in Khao Takiab.

DARTS SUPPLIES 092 845 5773 Brisal Dartboard now available!

10% OFF FOR DARTS LEAGUE PLAYERS HUA HIN DARTS LEAGUE

RESULTS WEEK 5 20TH DECEMBER 2016 Miss You v Castaways n/a Pat’s Place v The Clansmen n/a Robin’s Rest v TK’s n/a FIXTURES No fixtures until 3rd January LEAGUE TABLE Team Jungle Juice The Clansmen Miss You Blue Lagoon TK’s Robin’s Rest Castaways Pat’s Place

P W D L F 2 1 1 0 17 1 1 0 0 15 1 1 0 0 12 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 2 0 1 1 6 1 0 0 1 3 1 0 0 1 2

A 2 3 6 0 0 12 15 17

Pts 15 12 6 0 0 -6 -12 -15

Affordable Health Insurance from 50 baht per day with thai-health.com Contact andreas@thai-health.com FIXTURES

ENGLISH PREMIER LEAGUE TABLE

(all times Thailand)

SATURDAY 24TH DECEMBER 2016 SCOTTISH PREMIERSHIP Dundee v Heart of Midlothian 02:45 Kilmarnock v St Johnstone 02:45 Motherwell v Aberdeen 02:45 Ross County v Partick Thistle 02:45 Hamilton Academical v Celtic 19:30 Rangers v Inverness Cal. Thistle 19:30 MONDAY 26TH DECEMBER 2016 PREMIER LEAGUE Watford v Crystal Palace 19:30 Arsenal v West Bromwich Albion 22:00 Burnley v Middlesbrough 22:00 Chelsea v Bournemouth 22:00 Leicester City v Everton 22:00 Manchester United v Sunderland 22:00 Swansea City v West Ham United 22:00 CHAMPIONSHIP Brentford v Cardiff City 20:00 Aston Villa v Burton Albion 22:00 Barnsley v Blackburn Rovers 22:00 H’field Town v Nottingham Forest 22:00 Ipswich Town v Fulham 22:00 Preston North End v Leeds United 22:00 Reading v Norwich City 22:00 Rotherham Utd v Wigan Athletic 22:00 Wolves v Bristol City 22:00 FEATURED GAME

TUESDAY 27TH DECEMBER 2016 PREMIER LEAGUE Hull City v Manchester City 00:15 If City are to win the title, they need to go on a run of wins like they did at the start of the season; having beaten Arsenal last week, they need to follow it up against bottom team Hull, with not just a win, but also a convincing performance. Guardiola’s ability has begun to be questioned in the British media, who in the grand old tradition built him up as some sort of demi-god of a manager, and are now salivating at the thought of cutting him down to size. As is often said around Christmas, the proof of the pudding is in the eating, and we think Pep will start to prove himself in spades from now on, as indicated by our prediction overleaf.

FOOTBALL

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20

Team Chelsea Liverpool Man City Arsenal Tottenham Man Utd Southampton West Brom Everton Bournemouth Stoke Watford West Ham Middlesbrough Leicester Burnley Crystal Palace Sunderland Swansea Hull

P 17 17 17 17 17 17 17 17 17 17 17 17 17 17 17 17 17 17 17 17

GD PTS 24 43 21 37 16 36 19 34 17 33 7 30 1 24 2 23 0 23 -5 21 -5 21 -8 21 -12 19 -3 18 -6 17 -12 17 -4 15 -13 14 -17 12 -22 12

TUESDAY 27TH DECEMBER 2016 PREMIER LEAGUE Hull City v Manchester City 00:15 CHAMPIONSHIP Newcastle United v Sheffield Weds 02:45 Brighton v Queens Park Rangers 19:30 Derby County v Birmingham City 22:00 SCOTTISH PREMIERSHIP Aberdeen v Hamilton Academical 22:00 WEDNESDAY 28TH DECEMBER 2016 PREMIER LEAGUE Liverpool v Stoke City 00:15 SCOTTISH PREMIERSHIP Heart of Midlothian v Kilmarnock 02:45

FANTASY PREMIER LEAGUE - AWOL CHALLENGE

Team GW TOT 1 Hua Hin Utd 44 951 2 Custom Cobblers 48 942 Soi 102, Hua Hin (200m on right after 3 Dannycollinz 40railway)904 4 Lost Cafe 42 878 5 Frankies 11 51 873 6 Mr. Cha Aming 52 859 7 The Dada Donkeys 69 856 8 jamboshuahin 61 854 9 FC ROCA 41 851 10 Stenhousemuir 61 849 11 Portsmouth City FC 54 832 12 JR BRUTD S.C 67 820 13 Hua Hin Jambos 49 816 14 Atletico Pathetico 54 814 15 Nuo_divers 62 803 16 Pink Panther AFC 60 783 17 Rentmythaivilla 34 764 18 Waste Of Money 41 757 19 Wanderlust United 43 750 20 shortimeagain 29 698 21 Dans Demons 43 694 22 Doghill Growlers 50 681 23 AWOL Wanderers 50 657 THURSDAY 29TH DECEMBER 2016 PREMIER LEAGUE Southampton v Spurs 02:45 SCOTTISH PREMIERSHIP Celtic v Ross County 02:45 Inverness Cal. Thistle v Motherwell 02:45 Partick Thistle v Dundee 02:45 St Johnstone v Rangers 02:45 FRIDAY 30TH DECEMBER 2016 CHAMPIONSHIP Aston Villa v Leeds United 19:45 Rotherham Utd v Burton Albion 19:45

TRADITIONAL HOME MADE COOKING - THAI AND ENGLISH TOP OF SOI 94 OPEN DAILY 8AM TO LATE ALL DAY BREAKFASTS TRADITIONAL SUNDAY ROAST - Lamb, Pork, Beef, Chicken Peas, Cauliflower, Broccoli, Carrots, Cabbage, Mash, Roast Potatoes, Yorkshire Pudding, Stuffing ONE FREE GLASS OF WINE WITH YOUR SUNDAY LUNCH! Pies, Beef Stew, Bangers & Mash, Fish & Chips & more!

TAKEAWAY CALL 081 820 2309

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12 AWOL XMAS PREDICTIONS OUR ANNUAL LOOK AHEAD TO WHAT MIGHT HAPPEN IN FOOTBALL

••

WORLD FOOTBALL On the First day of Christmas, our prediction came to be...a Pep at the top of the tree...as Manchester City win the Premier League.

On the Second day of Christmas our prediction came to be...Two years ‘til standing...safe standing to be introduced On the Third Day of Christmas, our prediction came to be...Three defeats... against rivals cost Chelsea the title.

On the Fourth day of Christmas, our prediction came to be...Four leave FIFA... as the Home Nations react to Poppygate.

On the Fifth day of Christmas, our prediction came to be...Five in the dock... as the sexual abuse scandal unravels On the Sixth day of Christmas, our prediction came to be...Six nil to England...as they thrash Malta.

Left: “See! AWOL thinks we’re going to win it!”

On the Seventh day of Christmas, our prediction came to be...Seven months of Bradley...as Swansea sack their American manager after relegation.

On the Eighth day of Christmas, our prediction came to be...Eight Premier

gays...come out simultaneously in the game’s last taboo.

On the Ninth day of Christmas, our prediction came to be...Nine League Cup wins...for Liverpool, setting a new record.

On the Tenth day of Christmas, our prediction came to be...Ten players leaving...as Mourinho wields the axe at Manchester United On the Eleventh day of Christmas, our prediction came to be...Eleven times Champions...as Real Madrid win the top European trophy again.

On the Twelfth day of Christmas, our prediction came to be...Twelve relieved Foxes...as Champions Leicester narrowly avoid relegation the following season.

Soi Bonkai Call 086 006 1271 for reservations Opening hours 10 till late (closed Mon)

WISHING MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL OUR CUSTOMERS AT THE MUCKY DUCK AND THE CROSS EYED DUCK

WE WILL BE CLOSED CHRISTMAS DAY UNTIL 8PM DUE TO A PRIVATE PARTY, BUT PLEASE POP BY LATER FOR A COOL ONE