AWOL Issue 410

FOR THE EXPAT IN ALL OF US! ISSUE 410 30th December 2016

ABSENT WITH OUT LEAVE IN THE LAND OF SMILES

FREE

EVERY FRIDAY SINCE 2008

THE ORIGINAL AND BEST!

GET RACING FROM ONLY 400 BAHT! OPEN EVERYDAY 10.30AM - 7PM

Call 032 547 199 (Office) or 081 817 3000 (Mobile) Located on Soi 2, Phetchkasem Road opposite Hua Hin Airport

www.gokarthuahin.com info@gokarthuahin.com

Victor’s

OPEN 24/7

WIDE RANGE OF ROOMS IN THE HEART OF HUA HIN A/C, LCD TV, DVD player, fridge, free premium wifi, cable TV victorguesthouse@gmail.com 032 511564 60 Naresdamri Road, Hua Hin

P A N AMA BAR

Good Times Every Night A DJ To Save Your Life

INCOMPLETE HUA HIN - STILL A WORK IN PROGRESS

•In•our final issue of the year, we generally look back on the year just finishing, and we have actually HUA HIN

looked back at our last issue of 2015 as we write this, only to realise that any optimism we had for 2016 was entirely misplaced; so the question has to be asked - should we be optimistic about 2017?

In some respects we think so, but more from the perspective that it can’t get any worse, than that there is any particular light at the end of the tunnel. However, the one event that everybody in Thailand had been dreading has now occurred, and without the drama that many feared, although there will undoubtedly still be some repercussions. The formation of the ASEAN economic bloc seems to have had absolutely no impact, positive or negative, on life in Thailand.

Locally the Bluport mall opened, but seems rather to have spread the load and reduced trade elsewhere in the town rather than generate significant new business or customers, but that may well take a longer time to happen. The new year will see the launch of another ferry service, albeit slightly later than originally announced, with 12th January the most recent date suggested, and the renewed work on the landing pier suggests that this may be held to, in combination with the work in Pattaya. However it is looking increasingly likely that the first passengers arriving in Hua Hin will be arriving to a building site, followed by a demolition site, as the new Harbour 55 development is still unfinished, and the removal of the structures illegally encroaching on the beach adjacent appears to be imminent.

2017 may well turn out to be a year marking time for Hua Hin and Thailand; and that may be exactly what is needed. Finish what has been started before moving on. Whatever happens, Happy New Year to all our readers and advertisers, and thank you for sticking with us through 2016.

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LOCAL LISTINGS

BARS & PUBS

Double D Father Teds Lucky Shot Panama Bar

PROPERTY

Hot Property Lucky Real Estate Spencers Prop. Services SPORTS & LEISURE

Bridge Club Hua Hin Cha Am Hash HH The Dartman Go Kart Hua Hin

SERVICES & OTHER

Legal Services Hua Hin Magic Carpet Self Storage Siam Consulting thai-health.com

ACCOMMODATION

All Nations Guesthouse Victor Guesthouse

TEL.

080 652 0531 081 717 7496 086 178 1550 TEL.

032 533 533 082 298 0500 091 871 0128 TEL.

see Bazaar see Bazaar 092 845 5773 032 547 199 TEL.

084 881 8396 081 865 3047 092 927 7207 032 512 075 TEL.

032 512 747 032 511 564

RESTAURANTS/FOOD

British Breakfast Foods Buffalo Tavern Hua Hin Ham & Bacon La Terrasse Let’s Eat Lost Cafe Mucky Duck Nit’s Kitchen Passport Cafe Pork Pies Hua Hin Salsa The Palm Bistro

Affordable Health Insurance from 50 baht per day with thai-health.com Contact andreas@thai-health.com

LA TERRASSE NEW

LOUNGE RESTAURANT

11/1 NARESDAMRI RD 77110 HUA HIN, HILTON STREET, DOWN TO THE PIER

SEA VIEW - LOVELY SEA BREEZE THAI/SEA FOOD - WESTERN FOOD

BREAKFAST - LUNCH - DINNER PRIVATE PARTIES - BIRTHDAYS WEDDINGS - EVENTS 8:00 am to 10 pm la.terrasse.hua.hin@gmail.com Tel. 03 25 11 393

TEL.

087 155 7737 032 530 087 032 513 144 032 511 393 082 294 5602 086 043 5058 086 006 1271 081 820 2309 093 139 9655 098 897 2492 095 429 5383 032 828 144

Power Of Love Church

HELP NEEDED FOR THE SLUMS IN HUA HIN

We are working to help the Slums of Hua Hin and would love to have you deliver your goods with us, so you know your donation is going directly to those who need it.

We need secondhand items, clothes and household goods.

Why not join us and come to the slums with us?

We leave from our offices at 17:20 Every Tuesday evening. Visit us any day at the Power Of Love Children’s Home, Soi CJ, Khao Takiab, Hua Hin Facebook@Power of Love Church Tel K. Andrew 080 999 3603 K. Panaya 092 592 3604 (Thai) (Services every Sunday 10 am at Hilton Resort and Spa)

Fresh Pies Every Day

We make these pies fresh every day or to order: Pork, Gala*, Cheese/Onion, Minced Beef/Onion, Steak, Chicken/Leek, Chicken/Mushroom, Meat/Potato, plus we also make Scotch Eggs and Sausage Rolls. *Gala Pies require a minimum 24 hours notice

More pies coming soon - please ask us for your favourite pie!

See photos and prices on Facebook or contact us Delivery available for 30 baht Please contact us for bulk order/business rates

Get your pies from our shop on Soi 88/1, Open everyday 10am - 5pm Place orders by: Phone 098 897 2492 Email porkpieshuahin@gmail.com or Facebook britishporkpieshuahin

Affordable Health Insurance from 50 baht per day with thai-health.com Contact andreas@thai-health.com

AWOL WITH..

Vany

Photos coutesy of Haribo

Join our Sunday Lunch Club and start earning your free Roast Dinner

Opening times Tuesday till Saturday 10.30 till 14.30, 17.30 till 21.00 Sunday 13.00 till 17.00 Tel. 032 828 144 Web: thepalmbistro.com thepalmbistro@gmail.com

Double D

Located at Orchid Palm Homes 4 1043 Road, Tabtai, Hua Hin

Bar & Grill

Pool Table Open From 3pm - Late

Soi 6, Borfai, Hua Hin Tel. 080 652 0531

Offering Great Food - Fresh Homemade Pizzas, BBQ Ribs, Fish & Chips, Burgers, Chops, Chilli, Wings Etc

Happy Hour! 3 - 6 pm

Sangsom + mixer 40 baht Wine 55 baht San Miguel / Heineken 65 baht Domestic beers S 45 L 70 baht

LIVE SPORTS TV

BIG SCREEN SHOWING PREMIER LEAGUE, F1, RUGBY, GOLF, AUSSIE RULES etc

Located off the canal road; at the Soi 6 traffic lights go across the bridge over the canal and turn immediately right. We are about 600 metres further on the right, 100 metres past the temple, directly behind the small brown Buddha house.

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WEATHER & TIDES WORLD WEATHER (30-12-16)

LOCAL FORECAST AND TIDES

RAIN (MM) CONDITIONS TEMP. °C TIDES CITY WEATHER HIGH H L 1ST 2ND 3RD 4TH °C SA 0 Sun and clouds 28 24 02:33 1.3m 06:44 2.7m 18:22 1.2m 19:46 2.1m Amsterdam Ice fog -2 SU 3 Some sun, clouds 29 25 02:59 1.3m 07:11 2.6m 18:58 1.3m 20:13 2.1m Ankara Mostly cloudy 4 MO 2 Partly sunny 30 25 03:11 1.3m 07:36 2.6m 19:27 1.3m 20:53 2.1m Athens Snow 1 TU 0 Mostly cloudy 30 24 03:23 1.4m 07:56 2.5m 19:54 1.3m 22:10 2.1m Auckland Mostly cloudy 16 WE 3 Cloudy; showers 28 25 03:00 1.4m 08:07 2.5m 20:18 1.3m Beijing Sunny 2 TH 0 Clouds and sun 29 25 07:48 2.4m 20:33 1.3m - Berlin Partly sunny 4 FR 0 Clouds and sunshine 30 25 06:11 2.3m 20:22 1.3m - Buenos Aires Passing clouds 26 Cairo Clear 15 Chicago Clear 2 Copenhagen Partly sunny 5 Dubai Clear 27 Dublin Passing clouds 2 Helsinki Partly sunny 3 THAILAND WEATHER (30-12-16) Ho Chi Minh City Chance of rain 30 Place Temp. Hum. Conditions Place Temp. Hum. Conditions Hong Kong Passing clouds 19 Nakhon Si Tham. 28 °C 37% Scattered Clds Aranyaprathet 29 °C 31% Clear Islamabad Haze 21 29 °C 66% Scattered Clds Ban Ang 31 °C 24% Scattered Clds Nan Istanbul Sprinkles 5 Narathiwat 27 °C 39% Clear Ban Ang Hin 28 °C 62% Clear Jakarta Partly sunny 31 Nong Khai 31 °C 53% Partly Cldy Ban Ang Kep N. 33 °C 55% Mostly Cldy Jerusalem Quite cool 11 30 °C 48% Partly Cldy Ban Bang Chang 27 °C 84% Scattered Clds Pattani Johannesburg Partly sunny 23 Peam Prus 30 °C 35% Partly Cldy Bangkok 29 °C 37% Partly Cldy Karachi Fog 24 Pattaya 25 °C 56% Mist Bhumibol Dam 28 °C 38% Haze Kuala Lumpur Broken clouds 33 Phayao 29 °C 41% Clear Bua Chum 28 °C 33% London Clear -6 Phetchaburi 29 °C 33% Haze Chaiyaphum 27 °C 35% Clear Madrid Sunny 2 Phitsanulok 28 °C 41% Haze Chanthaburi 29 °C 36% Haze Manila Partly sunny 31 Phrae 32 °C 52% Scattered Clds Chiang Mai 28 °C 42% Partly Cldy Mexico City Clear 13 Phuket 32 °C 52% Scattered Clds Chon Buri 29 °C 37% Partly Cldy Moscow Overcast -1 Prachin Buri 31 °C 43% Clear Chumphon 30 °C 66% Partly Cldy Mumbai Clear 34 Prachuap K.khan 30 °C 49% Scattered Clds Hat Yai 26 °C 40% Mostly Cldy New Delhi Fog 17 Ranong 30 °C 52% Partly Cldy Houei-sai 29 °C 34% New York Clear 2 Roi Et 26 °C 35% Clear Kam Paeng Phet 29 °C 28% Haze Oslo Snow flurries -1 Sakon Nakhon 26 °C 44% Clear Kanchanaburi 28 °C 39% Clear Paris Ice fog -1 Sattahip 30 °C 35% Partly Cldy Khon Kaen 32 °C 59% Partly Cldy Perth Sunny 25 Satun 32 °C 46% Scattered Clds Ko Lanta 30 °C 62% Partly Cldy Phnom-Penh Partly cloudy 28 Songkhla 28 °C 84% Scattered Clds Ko Samui 29 °C 37% Partly Cldy Rio De Janeiro Passing clouds 27 Suphan Buri 27 °C 38% Haze Ko Sichang 33 °C 55% Mostly Cldy Riyadh Sunny 12 Surat Thani 28 °C 74% Scattered Clds Krabi 31 °C 42% Partly Cldy Rome Sunny 4 26 °C 39% Clear Laemchabang 28 °C 48% Scattered Clds Surin San Francisco Clear 9 Tak 29 °C 37% Partly Cldy Lampang 28 °C 42% Partly Cldy Seoul Sunny -1 Takua Pa 32 °C 52% Scattered Clds Lamphun 26 °C 42% Partly Cldy Shanghai Partly sunny 6 Tha Tum 26 °C 30% Partly Cldy Loei 28 °C 28% Singapore Broken clouds 31 Tha Wang Pha 28 °C 37% Scattered Clds Lomsak 28 °C 29% Clear Stockholm Sunny 4 Lop Buri 30 °C 40% Scattered Clds Thong Pha Phum 31 °C 34% Haze Sydney Sunny 33 Trang 32 °C 59% Partly Cldy Mae Hong Son 30 °C 40% Partly Cldy Taibei/Taipei Partly sunny 16 27 °C 51% Partly Cldy Mae Sariang 25 °C 36% Scattered Clds Ubon Ratch.

Tokyo Partly sunny 8 27 °C 39% Clear Mukdahan 25 °C 30% Scattered Clds Udon Thani Vancouver Mostly cloudy 3 Uttaradit 28 °C 32% Scattered Clds Nakhon Phanom 26 °C 39% Clear Vientiane Partly cloudy 26 28 °C 33% Scattered Clds Nakhon Ratch. 28 °C 38% HazeNakhon Wawle Yangon Passing clouds 31 Wichian Buri 28 °C 26% Clear Sawan 29 °C 62% Partly Cldy Zurich Chilly -2

YOUR STARS

Pub, restaurant & guesthouse

Opposite the Fishing Pier

Happy New Year to all our customers!

All Welcome to celebrate the end of 2016 and the start of 2017 For reservations or information call 032 530087 www.buffalobillshuahin.com Located on the corner of Chomsin/ Naresdamri rd CAPRICORN DEC 22 - JAN 19

Any hope you once had of aging with grace and dignity will be dashed this week, when you turn 25.

TAURUS APR 21 – MAY 21

Remember: God means something different to everyone, but only you, and those who agree with you, are right.

AQUARIUS JAN 20 – FEB 18

Ignorance and stupidity will soon be yours, when the Tree of Wisdom is cut down to make room for another mini-mall.

VIRGO AUG 23 – SEP 22

A tall, dark stranger stops by, lucky numbers 7 and 29 are in the studio, and musical guest Vampire Weekend—all that and much, much more, tonight on Later With Libra.

GEMINI MAY 22 – JUNE 21

The presence of Saturn in your sign this week indicates strength, determination, and you getting repeatedly struck by a Model SL1 Series.

LIBRA SEP 23 – OCT 23

They say that having a child changes anything, but what they really mean is “keeping a child.”

PISCES FEB 19 – MAR 20

Financial reward is most definitely in your future.

Keep scooping out those “take-a-penny” trays at the truckstops along I-90.

The human mind is a thing of startling beauty.

Unfortunately yours is mostly filled with old phone numbers and minor celebrity

trivia.

You’ll continue playing dressup this week, despite being LEO JUL 23 – AUG 22 almost 30, and feeling kind Nobody knows the troubles of silly every time you put you’ve seen. Remind them on that professional-looking of this fact at every possible opportunity.

ARIES MAR 21 - APR 20

suit.

CANCER JUN 22 – JUL 22

SCORPIO OCT 24 – NOV 21

Friday.

After weeks of setbacks, false-alarms, and outright obstructionism, Congress will finally pass a massive, 3.4 ounce kidney stone this

SAGITTARIUS NOV 22 – DEC 21

More and more, you’re beginning to suspect your nickname might be pejorative.

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AWOL BAZAAR Blocks of 4 boxes from only 40 baht per box/week

Blocks of 8 boxes from only 35 baht per box/week

Cha Am Hash House Harriers Welcome You! Website: h2h3-cah3.weebly.com/ cha-am-hhh.html

ACCOMMODATION

Rooms from 3000 bt p/m Apartments 7000 bt p/m All close to beach Condo with sea view and pool 12,000 bt p/m

MOTORBIKE/CAR RENT

Motorbikes 250 a day, 1400 a week, 4500 a month Cars from 900 a day, 4000 a week, 12,000 a month

SELF STORAGE

Any item, furniture, m’bikes, bicycles, baggage etc

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Promote your Happy Hour!

Contact us now on 081 649 8361 or email sales@awolonline.net GET RID OF THE KIDS

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8 hrs a month 500 baht or 16 hrs a month 1000 baht INTRODUCTORY FREE 4 HOURS - CALL FOR DETAILS. TEL 032 904223 Classes from 1 - 3pm every Saturday & Sunday, open for English or Thai. from noon for kids to play beforehand.

The Bridge Club Hua Hin

Is looking for New Members Every Monday and Thursdays from 14:00 to 17:30 at Say Cheese Games and Sports Soi 74 (Amnuaysin) Register by mail: b.j.bridge@hotmail.com Or walk in @ Guesthouse Say Cheese soi 74

Highlight your daily special NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS

A non-profit fellowship of men and women for whom drugs have become a major problem Meetings now in Hua Hin on Sundays at 10.30am, Tuesdays at 12 noon and Thursdays at 6pm

CONTACT Add 086 014 7585 Emmanuel K. 090 438 387 Mark 084 314 1928

The AWOL Bazaar - affordable advertising for any business or individual Get in AWOL for less than a beer a week Contact 081 649 8361 or email sales@awolonline.net

Bobby’s British Breakfast Foods

ENGLISH CORNER

UK Sausages, Ham, Bacon, Pies, Teas etc.

••

Call 087 155 7737 or 089 985 7473

A section for all you budding etymologists where each week the origin of a word or phrase is investigated. the others betake themselves to flight.”

THIS WEEK IT IS.....EUPHEMISMS recently deceased people the attendees FOR DYING believed that the dead person could Given the spate of celebrity deaths in Homer’s epic poem The Iliad was written hear and comprehend everything that 2016, we thought it appropriate that in around 700 BC. That was in Greek of was being said: it was only later, when our final column of the year deal with course. It was translated into English in the funeral rites were complete, that the some of the phrases used in English to the 19th century by Samuel Butler and dead person ‘passed away’ and began the avoid saying the actual words. There are his version contains a reference to ‘bite journey toward either Heaven or Hell. literally dozens of these, but the three the dust’ in these lines: As such, ‘pass away’ wouldn’t have been weare going to deal with are ‘Pop Your considered euphemistic but merely a “Grant that my sword may pierce the shirt literal description of events.

Clogs’, Bite The Dust’ and ‘Pass Away’.

The euphemistic expression ‘pop your of Hector about his heart, and that full The Lay Folks Mass Book, circa 1400 has clogs’ originated in the UK in or around many of his comrades may bite the dust as an very early of the use of ‘passed away’, the 1970s. It has the feel of a phrase that is they fall dying round him.” in Middle English: much older: even in the industrial north of the UK clogs have long since ceased to Whether that can be counted as an 8th Graunt... rest & pese... to cristen soules be a common type of footwear. It seems century BC origin for ‘bite the dust’ is passed away. likely that whoever coined it did so with open to question and some would say [Grant rest and peace to Christian souls an ear for the archaic. Sadly, whoever that that it was Butler’s use of the phrase passed away] was didn’t make it clear why the phrase rather than Homer’s. was coined to mean ‘die’.

There have been some speculations, as ‘Pass away’ must be one of the oldest Is there an English phrase is always the case when the origin of an euphemisms known in English. It was coined at a time and place, that is, the evocative sounding phrase is sought. or saying that you would Theory number one is that ‘pop’ meant 15th century in England, when most like to know more about? ‘pawn’, as in ‘pop goes the weasel’. people would have believed that the Northern factory workers, who wore departing of the soul of a dead person Email it to us on clogs, might have pawned them when was a literal physical event. Indeed, submissions@awolonline.net they were about to die, as they would no ‘passing away’ didn’t mean dying as it does now. When wakes were held for longer need them.

Theory number two is that the ‘pop’ just meant ‘die’, as in ‘pop off ’.

Neither of the above rings true, not least because there’s not a scrap of evidence to support either of them.

What we do know is that the phrase is found in print from 1970 onward. It appeared in the Pick of Punch for that year: He was forced to retire in 1933 after a disastrous Catholic/Protestant punch-up among the bugs. He’s just popped his clogs.

Given the many B-feature cowboy movies in which the bad guys, or occasionally the pesky redskins, would ‘bite the dust’, we might expect this to be of American origin. It isn’t though. The same notion is expressed in the earlier phrase ‘lick the dust’, from the Bible, where there are several uses of it, including Psalms 72 (King James Version), 1611:

Reservations: 095 429 5383 “They that dwell in the wilderness shall Open daily 6pm ‘til late bow before him and his enemies shall lick Tuesdays, Fridays and Saturdays the dust.”

After dinner at 10.30pm FREE 1 hour lesson of Salsa and Bachata The earliest citation of the ‘bite the dust’ version is from 1750 by the Scottish author Tobias Smollett , in his Adventures of Gil Blas of Santillane: “We made two of them bite the dust, and

followed by our Latin Party with Latin Disco DJ and Live Band

Please ask about our New Year’s Eve Dinner and Party

Located opposite the Hilton, 15 m right of Lo Stivale Like us on Facebook: SALSA Hua Hin Restaurant

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SUDOKU Each week we have an easy and a hard Sudoku puzzle. Just fill in the empty squares so that each horizontal and vertical line, and each section, has all the numbers 1 to 9.

PUZZLE 1 (EASY)

PUZZLE 2 (HARD)

LAST ISSUE’S SOLUTIONS PUZZLE 1

EXPAT INSURANCE SOLUTIONS ‘10 YEARS IN TOWN’

Health (up to 80), Car, Motorbike, House, Commercial.

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PUZZLE 2

ALL NATIONS

hua hin

guesthouse and bar 12 rooms from 350 baht a night free wifi for guests 032 512747

allnationshuahin@ gmail.com Drop your AWOL Classifieds in here

WEIRD NEWS

Specials!

up to 6pm: Burger + Pint Pizza + Pint any time: pizza + soft drink Burger + soft drink

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199 235 175 149

imported steaks, burgers + sausages

New 300 sq.m English Pub Garden now open

Belgian & German Beers - Draught Lagers Over 30 different beers available Chiva Som Ibis Hotel

Lost Cafe Hyatt

To Hua Hin

••

USA New York to Paris flight diverts to Ireland – so passengers can go to the toilet A transatlantic flight was forced to divert to the Republic of Ireland – so passengers could answer the call of nature.

The Paris-bound OpenSkies flight landed at Shannon Airport at 7.30am on Boxing Day after toilets on board the aircraft became unusable. The crew also requested engineers to be on standby to fix and service the aircraft’s broken toilets upon landing. 172 passengers and 12 crew members were on board the flight from Newark Airport. The flight resumed its journey to Paris shortly after 9.30am, two hours behind schedule.

••

UK Suspicious looking Christmas tree found during raid of suspected cannabis farm Top marks for ingenuity but the cunning disguise failed to fool police raiding a suspected cannabis farm in Cheltenham.

Officers found the marijuana plant decorated like a Christmas tree during a raid of a suspected small cannabis farm shortly before Christmas.

Some real effort had gone in to its decoration too with tinsel, lights, bows and an angel to top it off.

Gloucestershire police have since arrested a man and woman on suspicion of cannabis cultivation and also seized drugs and equipment.

The pair have since been bailed until February pending further enquiries but not before police informed the public of their unusual find.

Cicada Market

To Khao Takiab Centre

••

KOREA Cabin crew allowed to use stun guns after incident involving 80s pop star Korean Air Lines will allow its cabin crew to ‘readily use stun guns’ in the wake of a violent incident involving an 80s pop star.

Richard Marx stepped in when a passenger on board the flight began attacking people during a four-hour ordeal. He was widely praised for intervening but later criticised crew members for being ‘ill-trained’ and ‘ill-equipped’ to handle the ‘chaotic and dangerous event’. In response, the airline said it will retrain crews with Taser guns and improve their security training. Images of singer Marx intervening with the violent passenger were posted on social media, and he later wrote that he helped to subdue ‘a psycho passenger attacking crew members and other passengers’.

His wife Daisy Fuentes, who joined him on the flight, added on Instagram that crew members ‘didn’t know how to use the Taser and they didn’t know how to secure the rope around him (he got loose from their rope restraints 3 times)’.

In response, Korean Air Lines admitted. its crew members are ‘hesitant’ to use Taser guns. Currently, they are permitted for use only in ‘grave’ situations which jeopardise the life of a passenger or crew member or the safety of a flight.

In a statement, the company said: ‘We have decided to improve our conditions and procedure on using Taser guns to cope with violent acts and disturbances on board in a fast and efficient manner.’

However, a spokesman said the changes would ease conditions on using Taser guns so that crew can ‘readily use stun guns’.

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AREA 555 brothel and the madam said, “You’ll have to wait.”

“But there’s lots of girls that aren’t busy right now.”

“Yes, but several of the rooms are closed for repairs.”

CHRISTMAS PRESENT “Listen, I’m pretty desperate. I don’t need a room.”

Wife asked me to get “bath stuff ” for Christmas.

So she takes his money and he goes upstairs with one of the staff and, after looking for a place to consummate Hope she likes her toaster. the transaction, they decide to do it on the roof. But it’s a very cold night, and they freeze to death and THERAPY fall to the sidewalk. A passing drunk looks them over, Therapist: “I think you have a phobia of marriage. Do you staggers to the door, and knocks. know what the symptoms are?”

“Go away!” says the madam. “We don’t allow drunks in here!”

Me: “Can’t say I do.”

“I don’t want in,” says the drunk. “I just wanted to tell Therapist: “That’s one of them.” you that your sign fell down.”

Got some great jokes?

Send them to us on submissions@awolonline.net

•• •• ••

••

PARROT I’m really worried about my parrot.

He keeps saying, “I can’t go on, I hate my life”.

HUNTER A big-game hunter went on safari with his wife and mother-inlaw. One evening, while still deep in the jungle, the Mrs awoke to find her mother gone. Rushing to her husband, she insisted My room-mate’s too selfish to notice. He’s always crying. on them both trying to find her mother.

The hunter picked up his rifle, took a swig of whiskey, and WIFI started to look for her. In a clearing not far from the camp, they At a funeral a man asks the vicar for the wifi code, the vicar came upon a chilling sight: the mother-in-law was backed up replies ‘please have some respect for your late mother’, the man against a thick, impenetrable bush, and a large male lion stood says ‘is that all lower case’? facing her.

The wife cried, “What are we going to do?”

BROTHEL “Nothing,” said the hunter husband. “The lion got himself into On a very cold night, a young man dropped into the local this mess, let him get himself out of it.”

•• ••

Wink with AWOL 081 649 8361

• • • • • • •

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NOW!

• • • • • • •

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ENG. +66 (0) 91 871 0128 TH. +66 (0) 86 332 7756 spropertyservices@hotmail.com

LIFE ON MARS

••

CAN I SEE YOUR LICENCE PLEASE? For many expats who arrived in Thailand fifteen or more years ago, the country they saw was a weird mixture of an almost lawless Wild West in many areas versus a mountain of paperwork and bureaucracy in others. There was a certain flexibility to how the law was enforced as well, which to some extent still exists today.

The most obvious example of all of this was the opening hours of licensed premises, i.e. those that sold alcohol. Back in the day there didn’t appear to be any legal restriction as to what hours these premises were open, but there were laws stipulating both the hours and that these premises should hold valid licenses; many held licences, but the hours they were open would largely be governed by both the business itself and how stringently the police enforced the hours, which the businesses would ‘encourage’ them not to.

This state of affairs has changed under various governments, as they have tried various schemes to try to reduce under age drinking, but essentially these schemes have failed because the target for virtually all of them has been the wrong one, which are the licensed premises, who, in general, are not the venues causing the problem.

The latest attempt is a case in point; a law was passed that in its original draft prevented licenced premises operating within a specific distance of places of education or worship; however this was altered in its final version to just say ‘near’, giving those who enforce the law leeway and discretion in how they determine an establishment is breaking the law or not, and thus opportunities for such businesses to encourage the enforcers to decide in their favour.

However there is now word that the distance of 300 metres is being applied in relation to all new alcohol licence applications, while existing licences can be renewed regardless of distance.

There are also a variety of rumours swirling around that new licences for alcohol, live music and guesthouses are going to be much harder to get, with more stringent checks, and possibly stronger requirements, such as needing to be a registered company, to obtain them. Currently it seems that all existing licences are also being checked by the army and/or police, with some reports of officials in the local authority and police being reprimanded or sacked in relation to the establishments accused of beach encroachment. However, as mentioned above, previous schemes to enforce laws have fallen by the wayside, either because of the difficulty in enforcing them, or due to changes of government or ministers. The best advice we can give is to make sure you don’t give the authorities any reason to penalise you, by having the necessary licences.

And on that ‘Amazing Thailand’ note, we’d like to wish you all a very Happy New Year in the hope that 2017 will be a better year for everybody.

Send your comments or suggestions for this column to us at submissions@awolonline.net (Subject/Title ‘Life On Mars’) or on Facebook at www.facebook. com/AWOLexpat (please Like our page as well!)

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CLASSIFIEDS BUSINESS

SMALL GUESTHOUSE, BAR,

restaurant, established in prime location, 5 bedrooms, 5 bathrooms, 2 clean kitchens, 2 eating areas (inside/ outside). Large private lounge upstairs. Customer base throughout year.

Cheap rent paid up to September 2017. Good landlord. Parking front and rear. Owner relocating. Price includes everything, 850,000 baht. Also resident staff. Terms available. Details 09307 46204 THRIVING LOCAL RESTAURANT and premises for sale. Two storey townhouse on a corner plot comprising a small restaurant with two kitchen areas and toilet on the ground floor, and 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms on the upper floor, located in a busy residential area with several large estates in walking distance. Reluctantly selling this excellent property and business to invest elsewhere. Price 5.2 m baht. Please call 093 139 9655.

EMPLOYMENT

Lawyer Hua Hin

No Win No Fee

www.legalserviceshuahin.com

BBQ BILLABONG MAKE Used but good working condition the BBQ

is supplied with gas bottle and valve. 5,250 baht. Call 086 211 8250 COFFEE MACHINE HIGH quality. Fiamma high level coffee machine for sale. After minimal training if needed you will be able to make stunning SERVICES coffee’s such as cappuccino, late’, mocca, americano, expresso etc.. It comes with grinder, foamer, cool foamer and some appropriate cups and saucers.

SELF STORAGE ANY item, furniture, m’bikes, bicycles, baggage etc. The machine is currently on display at Anjana Coffee ( Hua Hin Coffee) who Discount for long term contracts. Call David on 092 927 7207 or Email provide servicing, at the top of the Pala U Rd in/near Hinlekfai. The asking davidhodgins@ymail.com price is 59,000 but reasonable offers would be considered. The cost of above including the accessories was 88,000. The machine only used for 1 year and has been serviced ready for a new owner. Call 086 211 8250 WANTED

ADVERTISE FOR STAFF here for free!

PLACE YOUR WANTED ads here for free!

GENERAL

DOG CAGE/TRANSPORTER BUILT to fit a pick up. Has divider to

GENERAL - SPORTS

SPORT EQUIPMENTS 2 x yoga mat 100thb (new); suspension trainer

(trx style) 900thb; sand bag 900thb (new); 3x resistance bands 600thb (new) size: S 200x3.3cm, M 200x4.6cm, L 200x6,7cm. Please call 085 183 7059.

NEW POOL CUES for sale RAID Low Deflection Shaft 2-piece Custom Pool Cue with Sport Wrap by Falcon Cues. R650 Low Deflection Technology Selected Canadian 13mm Maple Shaft with 5 Layer Leather Tip; 3.5 Thread Quick Release Joint; Black Base Forearm with Contrasting Blue Point and 3D Bubble Grip Sport Wrap. Comes with Gray Sleeve and Joint Protector. only 4900 Baht each. Have a look @ Lucky Shot Pool Bar Poonsuk Road evening after 8 pm LAKE VIEW GOLF Club, wanted 2 membership. Please contact me.

E-mail andresen.p@gmail.com. Phone 0615450882 Petter Andresen PICKLEBALL PAKNAM PRAN Pickleball partner for single play needed for early morning play or late afternoon play at Evason Resort. Email sledpullric@gmail.com

accommodate 2 small or medium dogs. Sale due to lack of storage space. 4,000 baht. Please call 0862 118250 BABY STUFF MOVING out sale: Camera baby car seat 800thb, Farlin baby swing 400thb, Baby bear carrying bag 300thb, Pikku Pia head protection hat 400thb. All together 1500thb. Please call 0851837059 Tim KITCHEN STUFF MOVING out sale: Otto Professional blender 1000thb, Otto Sandwich grill 200thb, Otto Rice cooker 150thb, Imarflex electric cooker 300thb, Imarflex induction cooker 300thb, Set of pots and pans 300thb, Set of cutlery 300thb. All together 2000thb. Please call 085 183 7059.

WHIRLPOOL FAN OVEN and extractor. Perfect working order, for sale because new kitchen came with new set. 5,000 baht. Contact seller through AWOL Classifieds Facebook group.

AUTO: GENERAL BED FRAME 90% condition. Size 160cm x 200cm. Bed is one year old and I bought it with 16k. Buy bed and you get Mattress free. Mattress have 8 MOTORBIKE/CAR RENT MOTORBIKES 250 a day, 1400 a week, years guarantee. Moving out sale. 3,500 baht. Call 085 183 7059 Tim a month, Cars from 900 a day, 4000 a week, 12,000 a month. Please PS4 GAMES IN perfect condition. Selling these 6 PS4 games, all like new 4500 in great condition. Assassins Creed: Chronicles - THB 500, Bloodborne - call David on 092 927 7207 or email davidhodgins@ymail.com for more THB 1000, Dragons Age: Inquisition - THB 1000, Homefront: The Revolution information - THB 1000, Just Cause 3 - THB 1250, Mortal Kombat X - THB 1000.

Preferrably sold all together for THB 5000. Contact seller through AWOL Classifieds Facebook group.

PLACING A CLASSIFIED WITH AWOL

All adverts are free except adverts for Property For Rent or Sale, Business or Services and Auto.

Free ads will be included for at least four weeks automatically. Please use our online Classifieds to enhance your chances of a successful ad.

Option 1: register or log in at www.awolonline.net/classifieds and place your advert there; Option 2: email to classifieds@awolonline.net; Option 3: write the details clearly in BLOCK capitals on paper and mail or drop it in to our office (address on page 17) The deadline for guaranteed inclusion in that week’s issue is 6pm on Tuesday. Please notify us if your advert is no longer needed.

Business, Services and Property for sale or rent Rates: Up to 50 words: 500 baht for 4 issues, 1000 baht for 13 issues. Additional words charged at 20 baht per word.

Example: 60 words charged at 500 plus (10 x 20)=700 baht for 4 issues, or 1000 plus (10 x 20)=1200 for 13 issues.

Please note that paid ads placed online can have up to 750 words and 3 images depending on which plan is selected.

There is also a fixed fee and/or commission deal available for Property - please contact property@awolonline.net or realestate@luckyhuahin. com for details.

Auto Rates: Items priced up to 10,000 baht, 13 issues for 500 baht. Items priced over 10,000 baht, 13 issues for 1000 baht. Maximum 50 words for all ads; unpriced items pay the higher rate.

Contact classifieds@awolonline.net for further information or to place an advert.

CLASSIFIEDS

AUTO: 3 WHEELS & LESS

ADVERTISE YOUR MOTORBIKE

wheels or less here! For pricing see box below

COMMERCIAL PROPERTY

or other vehicle with three

AUTO: 4 WHEELS PLUS

ADVERTISE YOUR CAR for sale here and on the AWOL Classifieds website - just 1000 baht to list for 13 issues/3 months. Go to www.awolonline. net/classifieds, email classifieds@awolonline.net or call 081 649 8361 to place your ad.

PROPERTY FOR SALE

TWO BED HOUSE For Rent Or Sale Soi 102. Fully furnished, internet

connection, cable tv, laundry machine. Space to park car & motor bike inside.

Location over railway tracks soi 102 600 meters after 7 eleven turn left. Rent : 12,000 p.m. Sale: 3.2 mill o.t.o. Tel 087 169 8440 eng 085 293 3843 thai STUDIO APARTMENT IN Khao Takiab for sale. A great investment opportunity with a yield of 10%. This apartment is in Baan Plean Ploen in Khao Takiab. This 30 square meter apartment on the 3rd floor facing the swimming pool is fully furnished with free communal swimming pool fitness and Wifi, and TV with True Visions. 30 metres to the local beach and the green bus to Hua Hin is nearby. For sale for 1.85m or I will accept a reasonable offer. It rents for 15,000 per month. Email chris.b@btinternet. com or call 090 996 4731 LARGE HOUSE AND land near Cha Am for sale; 200 sqm living area on 2.5 rai just 4.8m baht. Also adjacent land of 0.7 rai available for 480,000 baht or make an offer for both. Contact 089 530 8771 or go to luckyhuahin.com for photos and information.

SUNRISE COAST COMMERCIAL

properties - we have a variety of land, resorts and other commercial opportunities available in the Bang Saphan area. Contact 089 530 8771 for details.

PROPERTY FOR RENT

POOL VILLA FOR rent. 3 Bed, 3 Bath, very private, nice garden, large

pool, outdoor dining, free water, free cable TV, unlimited high speed internet.

4km from Hua Hin centre. 38,000 baht per month. Call 087 719 7388 TO LET 2-BED unfurnished house in Karat Village, Hua Hin. Suitable for basic accommodation, small business use or storage. Dry, secure, quiet location; small garden & car parking. No dogs. B 8000/month. Tel: 081 262 7580 (Thai); 085 291 6912 (English).

TOWNHOUSE FOR RENT, Great location (5km West of town), 2 bed, 2 bath, fully furnished, fully fitted kitchen (fridge, hob, oven, microwave) internet, cable TV, ready to move in. CALL JA ON: 083 316 6424 Price 10,000 baht a month ROOMS FROM 3000 bt p/m, Apartments 7000 bt p/m All close to beach, Condo with sea view and pool 12,000 bt p/m. Weekly and daily rates available. Tiks Place at VIP Condo just north of Hua Hin airport, opposite Palm Hills. Please call David on 092 927 7207 or email davidhodgins@ymail. com for more information

PERSONALS

PLACE YOUR PERSONAL personal services etc

ads here - looking for companionship,

ANNOUNCEMENTS

PROPERTY WANTED

LONG TERM ACCOMMODATION required to rent from November

in central Hua Hin. 2 bed or spacious 1 bed furnished condo. Gym, pool and internet essential. Phone 063 410 0280

NEW! MAKE YOUR

personal or business announcement here; Weddings, Birthdays, Funerals, Obituaries, Barmitzvahs, Parties, anything!

Up to 50 words just 100 baht for two issues, up to 150 words plus a picture for 300 baht for two issues. Place ads and pay online on the Announcements board of the AWOL Forum at www.awolonline.net/forum/index.php?board=16, or in person at our office, or by emailing us and transfering the payment to our bank. Contact submissions@awolonline.net for help or information.

DISCLAIMER

All articles are published in good faith and based on information available to us at publication. Some articles are satire or ‘spoof ’ stories intended as humour.

No responsibility is accepted other than that stipulated by law. Although the information in this publication has been obtained from sources believed to be reliable, AWOL cannot guarantee accuracy in all cases. Any opinions expressed are those of the contributor and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher.

All materials copyright. All rights reserved and no part of this publication may be reproduced in part or in full without the previous written consent of the publisher. Neither can any part be stored in a retrieval situation, nor transmitted by electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or any other means.

AWOL is printed by Petchpoom Printing, and we can be contacted on info@awolonline.net or 081 614 8728. Please send any other communications to Mrs Chukamol James, Managing Director, AWOL Co. Ltd., 136/229 Emerald Hill, Soi 6, Mooban Borfai, Hua Hin, Prachuap Kiri Khan, 7110, THAILAND.

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MONEY & INFORMATION OVERSEAS CALLS INFORMATION

USEFUL NUMBERS

REVERSE CHARGE CALLS The list below is the free number to connect to an operator of that country to request the reverse charge call.

ARGENTINA 001-999-54-1000/ 2000 AUSTRALIA 001-999-61-1000/2000 AUSTRIA 001-800-28787421 BAHRAIN 001-999-973-1000 BRUNEI 001-999-673-1000 CANADA 001-999-15-1000/2000 DENMARK 001-999-45-1000 FRANCE 001-999-33-1000 GERMANY 001-999-49-1000 HAWAII 001-800-865-8424 HONG KONG 001-999-852-1086 INDONESIA 001-999-62-1000/2000 ISRAEL 001-999-972-1000/ 2000 ITALY 001-999-39-1000 JAPAN 001-999-811-0051 KOREA 001-999-82-1000/ 2000/ 2001 MACAU 001-999-853-1000 MALAYSIA 001-999-60-1000/4000/ 4001 MALTA 001-999-356-1000 MEXICO 001-999-52-1000 NEPAL 001-800-977-1-9999 NETHERLANDS 001-999-31-1035 NEW ZEALAND 001-999-64-1066 PHILIPPINES 001-999-63-1000/ 3000/ 6000 PORTUGAL 001-999-351-1000 RUSSIA 001-999-7-1000 SINGAPORE 001-999-65-0000/ 2008 SOUTH AFRICA 001-999-27-1000 SPAIN 001-999-34-1066 TAIWAN 001-999-886-1000 U.A.E. 001-999-971-1000 U.K. 001-999-44-1066 U.S.A. 001-999-1-1111/ 2001/ 2002 Thanks to the staff at CAT in Hua Hin for providing the above numbers.

FREE AND CHEAP CALLS If your mobile phone or device and that of the person you are calling supports it, you can use a number of apps to make free calls anywhere, with the best known being Skype and Viber.

The mobile phone operators offer special numbers to prefix an international number to get cheap rate international calls. More information call True 1331 AIS 1175 DTAC 1678

Police 191 Crime 195 Fire 199 Traffic Control Centre 197 Highway Police 1193 Tourist Police 1699 Tourist Service Centre 1155 Missing Persons 02 282 1815 Police Station 032 511 027 Tourist Police 032 516 219 Cha-Am Police 032 471 321 Bangkok Hospital 1719 Hua Hin Hospital 032 511 743 San Paulo Hospital 032 532 576 to 585 Red Cross 032 512 567 Municipality 032 532433 Tessabahn 032 511 047 Immigration 032 520 617 Bus Terminal (non air-con) 032 511 230 (air-con) 032 511654, 512543 Railway Station 032 511 073 Tourist Information 032 513 885 Electricity Office 032 512 215 Electricity Call Centre 1129 Water Office 032 511 677 TOT 032 519 000/001 TOT Call Centre 1100 TT&T 032 532 018 3BB 032-900020-1, 086-0127273 3BB Call Centre 1530 CAT 032 511 350 Alcoholics Anonymous 0870 620 098 Narcotics Anonymous 084 314 1928

EXCHANGE RATES (28-12-16)

CURRENCY BAHT Algerian Dinar 0.325 Argentine Peso 2.32 Australian Dollar 25.9 Bitcoin 34089 Brazilian Real 11 British Pound 44.3 Bulgarian Lev 19.2 Canadian Dollar 26.5 Chilean Peso 0.0535 Chinese Yuan 5.19 Croatian Kuna 5.02 Czech Koruna 1.4 Danish Krone 5.07 Egyptian Pound 1.92 Ethereum 256 Euro 37.7 Hong Kong Dollar 4.64 Hungarian Forint 0.122 Iceland Krona 0.318 Indian Rupee 0.53 Indonesian Rupiah 0.0027 Iranian Rial 0.0011 Israeli New Shekel 9.39 Japanese Yen 0.306 Korean Won 0.0299 Malaysian Ringgit 8.04 Mexican Peso 1.73 New Zealand Dollar 24.9 Nigerian Naira 0.118 Norwegian Krone 4.14 Pakistan Rupee 0.344 Philippine Peso 0.723 Polish Zloty 8.58 Qatari Rial 9.9 Romanian Leu 8.32 Russian Ruble 0.595 Saudi Riyal 9.6 Serbian Dinar 0.306 Singapore Dollar 24.9 South African Rand 2.59 LOCAL CONSULAR Sri Lanka Rupee 0.241 REPRESENTATIVES Swedish Krona 3.91 Swiss Franc 35.1 CANADIAN Taiwan Dollar 1.12 Rick Pomerleau 087 153 3817 or e-mail Turkish Lira 10.2 rickpomerleau@hotmail.com UAE Dirham

9.81 FINNISH US Dollar 36 Mr. Sipi Siljamaeki 087-911 8119 or e-mail: Ukraine Hryvnia 1.35 suthiporn.siljamaki@gmail.com

AMERICAN AWOL makes no warranties, express or implied, Mr. Christopher Byrd 081-173 4469 or e-mail: regarding these rates and shall not be liable for any chrs@tourdeasia.org losses or damages incurred in connection with them.

TO HULL AND BACK Restaurant & Bakery in Samorphrong

OPEN 11AM - 9PM EVERY DAY (Closed Tuesdays) Delicious Home Cooked Western & Thai Food DAILY SPECIALS - CHECK OUR BLACKBOARD Breakfasts - Fresh Bread Baked Daily Free Wi-Fi - Easy Parking Contact us on 093 139 9655 or food@passportcafehuahin.com

We will be closed from Christmas Day to Tuesday 3rd January

Menu on passportcafehuahin.com and Facebook page Passport-Cafe Directions: From Hua Hin go north on the Klong (Canal) Road through the traffic lights and turn left at the blue bridge with the water tower next to it, then immediately right before the 7-11. Follow this road for approximately 1.5 km and you will find us on the right opposite Tropical Hill.

••

SOMETHING TO LOOK FORWARD TO First this week a HIgh Five to AWOL for using its’ annual online Christmas card as a fitting tribute to many of the famous people lost to the world during 2016. If you have missed it take a look online (www.awolonline.net/blog/archives/110440), and if you are an ageing rocker spare a thought for the now late great Rick Parfitt and superstar George Michael.

What a year it has been. For once it is hard to think of anything worth celebrating, unless you are a Brexiteer or Trump supporter that is. Even our Queen Lizzie has thrown in the towel and reduced the number of worthwhile causes she supports. Not that you can blame her with all those minor royals who need to step up and earn their keep.

Speaking of which, are you all as fed up as me of hearing about Prince Harry and his quest for love? That is one guy who really should take an incognito trip to Thailand to ‘find himself ’ before any more popular tourist activities are outlawed. Instead though we are possibly facing yet another Royal wedding in 2017, which raises the question as to whether the wedding of the fourth in line to the throne qualifies for another national holiday. A few of you Brits might remember that when Prince Charles made the mistake of marrying Diana Spencer we had a day off work. Back then a Public Holiday in the UK was taken more literally than it is now. For one thing Next stores didn’t open for their sales at 6.00 am. So it wasn’t easy to find something else to do with the enforced spare time. But when I realised that the then Mr Mags was intent on watching the full days TV coverage of the event there was no other option than to grab the car keys and do a disappearing act. (In 1981 only

rich people had more than one television.) More recently there was also a Public Holiday when William and Kate tied the knot, but thankfully the shops still opened.

Back to the Land of Smiles, which despite the odds has somehow still managed to live up to its’ name in 2016. Not least with all those fake 10 baht coins in Udon Up There. Whoever thought of that questionably worthwhile scam could learn a lesson or two from those responsible for the 154,400 dollars worth of forged US bank notes seized in Bangkok.

Lesson one, if you plan to forge currency, make it worth while, and lesson two - don’t get caught!

However as expat smokers will know Thailand was remarkably quick off the mark with those grizzly photos on cigarette packs, something which the UK has only just begun to tackle.

Unfortunately early signs of the effectiveness of the campaign aren’t too good, with one brand of rolling tobacco featuring a cute baby sucking on a dummy with a cigarette stuck in it. The accompanying caption ‘smokers’ children are more likely to start smoking’ does little to reverse the first impression of that image, which really shouts out ‘hey don’t they start young!’

On This Day

Two notable anniversaries this week. On December 30th 1918 John E Hoover, for reasons best known to himself, changed his name to J Edgar Hoover. Closer to home, on the same date in 1950, Vietnam, Laos and Cambodia became independent states within the French Union.

And last but not least a Happy New Year to all our readers. Let’s hope it is a better one.

CONTACTING AWOL TELEPHONE:

081 649 8361 (Eng) or 081 614 8728 (Thai) OFFICE:

WEBSITE:

www.awolonline.net FACEBOOK:

136/229 Emerald Hill, Soi 6, Borfai, Hua Hin, 77110, AWOLexpat Prachuap Kiri Khan TWITTER: EMAIL:

info@awolonline.net

awolhuahin

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EVENTS & NOTICEBOARD Welcome to our collaborative section with Hua Hin’s only local radio station playing Western music 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, the one and only Surf 102.5 FM! Every day Surf features local events and activities that visitors and locals might be interested in enjoying, and you will find these below. If you know of an event, activity or regular happening that is not listed here or in our Balloon Chasers section, please get in touch by email to either AWOL (submissions@awolonline.net or Surf 102.5 FM (surf102.5fm@gmail.com) or via either of the respective Facebook pages; AWOLexpat or Surf102.5.

UPCOMING INFORM AWOL OR SURF FM of your charitable the members in the group has a chance to or non commercial event and we will announce host a dinner party in his/her home for the it here other members. If you love cooking and like to make new friends you should join. You do ONGOING not need to be an expert. Tel. Robert 0983 RESCUE PAWS is a non-profit organization 562290 based in Hua Hin dedicated to helping DUSIT THANI HUA HIN SOCCER and improving the lives of Thailand’s stray ACADEMY: exercise and professional animal population. Find out more on their football coaching for kids. website rescuepawsasia.org or Facebook page HUA HIN HASH HOUSE HARRIERS every RescuePawsThailand Saturday around the area. (see p22) TRASH HERO HUA HIN now every Sunday CICADA MARKET AND PERFORMING at 3pm a beach area gets cleaned. See their ARTS FAIR. The Venue@Suansri. Fri/Sat eponymous Facebook page for weekly details evenings from sunset to 12 pm, Sundays from HUA HIN HOBBY COOKING CLUB If cooking 4pm; Dining, shopping, art, performances, is your hobby you can join an international and films in a beautiful park-like setting. A group of hobby cooks in Hua Hin. Each one of great place to spend an evening

SURF 102.5 FM SCHEDULE The Marriott Breakfast Show with Steve Johnston Mon. to Fri. 6:30 - 10:00 Asia Pop 40 with Dom Lau Sat. 09:00 - 12:00, Sun. 15:00 18:00 Tue. 21:00 - 24:00 “Something On The Radio” with James Ross Sun., Wed., Fri. 21:00-23:00 LA Spinz with Peter Reynolds Mon., Wed., Fri. 19:30 Q Burn Rocks On with Peter Antony Fri. 23:00

THE AWOL NOTICEBOARD ND? IN THAILA DRIVING g nal drivin Internatio 00 8 1 d 5 years licence vali . bt Call 71 (Eng) 089 530 87

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS If you want to drink, that’s your business, if you want to stop, we can help.

Call to speak to an AA member:

Peo (Swedish) - 086 012 0856 Henrik 095-950-7550 Loren - 081-007-6856 Terry - 091-883-7757

www.aathailand.org

Meetings every day in Hua Hin

Let’s Eat RESTAURANT

PUZZLES

Open 9am to 9pm English Breakfast and Thai Food Soi 3 Khao Takiab (next to 7-11) Call 082 294 5602

CODEWORD

Each letter in this puzzle is represented by a number 1-26. Can you crack the code and solve the crossword? Every letter of the alphabet is used at least once.

Two or three letters are already in place to get you started. Use the 1-26 small grid to keep track.

LAST ISSUE’S SOLUTION

A N

B O

C P

D Q

E R

F S

G H T U

I J K V W X

L Y

M Z

CROSSWORD ACROSS 1 Go against the current tendency (4,3,5) 9 Point of concentration (5) 10 Particle that decays when released (7) 11 Wild party (4) 12 Beginner (8) 14 Menace (6) 15 Historic Belgian city (6) 18 Colour such as cream or bone (3-5) 20 Cosy (4) 22 Great ape (7) 23 Public spaces with galleries (5) 24 Rate maybe for Sunday work (4,3,1,4)

The solution to last week’s puzzle is on page 19

DOWN 2 Reveal (7) 3 Sign of affection (4) 4 Yearn (6) 5 Worthless (thing) (8) 6 Before time (5) 7 Red light (6,6) 8 Conceived in advance (12) 13 Norse heaven (8) 16 Unspecific (7) 17 Thread - abandon (6) 19 Meeting for open discussion (5) 21 (Container for) ablution (4)

17

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BALLOON CHASERS

••

Parties, special deals, regular events, celebrations and more; SPOTS POOL BAR, SOI 88; Draft Singha and Leo just 65 baht. to get it in AWOL email info@awolonline.net.

THE PALM BISTRO, SOI 88; Join their Sunday Lunch Club and start earn ing a free Sunday Roast (see ad p3) RECENTLY ADDED AND COMING SOON UNCLE BRYN’S (2KM PAST PALM HILLS NORTH ALONG SUNSET BOULEVARD, KHAO TAKIAB; Sunday 1st January KLONG ROAD. TURN LEFT AND 200M ON LEFT.); Large at 7pm, all you can eat Roast Lamb buffet dinner, 350 baht. Chang 55 baht, large Leo 58 baht. Open daily 7am-late. 085 405 6976 (T) 080 197 2072(E) Bookings only before noon on Saturday. 084 376 9438 CHOCOLATE CAFE, SOI 102; Every Tuesday from 6.30 pm, PUB QUIZZES free Thai and Western food buffet.

RED PIANO, SOI KANJANOMAI; Saturday 31st December KING BAR, SOI BINTHABAHT; Quiz second Monday of from 6.30pm New Years Eve Party with International Buffet every month (next one Monday 9th January 2017 at 7.30 pm) Dinner; 999 baht per person or 1499 baht with 2 hours free . Free entry, food and prizes - hosted by Hawk - all welcome. flow beer, wine and soft drink. Booking with deposit call 032 KOM HOM, SOI 94; First Sunday every month from 7pm 900510. Sunday 8th january from 8pm, live comedy with Tom Bingo and Quiz Night (January please check) - call 085 294 Rhodes. Tickets 600 baht in advance, 800 baht on the night.

1319 for details TAKE 5, KHAO TAKIAB; Saturday 31st December from SUNSET BOULEVARD, KHAO TAKIAB; All video, home 7.30pm 2017 New Year Party. Free flow wine and beers, made fun pub quiz. Third Tuesday of every month (next one is European, Thai and Indian buffet, sparkling wine, live music on Tuesday 17th January,). 10 rounds including 2 audio visual and DJ all night. 2,000 baht per adult, 500 baht child (5 - 12). and 2 table rounds. There is limited space so early bookings are Bookings 081 857 4328. strongly recommended. Call Mike 084 3769438 for more info and for bookings. Sunset Boulevard is 150 metres past the Ibis REGULAR EVENTS hotel going south on the Takiap Road.

BOBBY’S BAR, SOI 102.; The 99 baht breakfast is Back! FREE TK ROADHOUSE, KHAO TAKIAB; First Tuesday of every Sunday Roast - spend 200 baht and get a free Chicken or Pork month ‘The Best Quiz In Town’! 8 rounds, beer questions, free Sunday Roast, spend an extra 80 baht and you can get Lamb. Cottage Pie and bread.

Available from 12.30 to 6.30pm. All You Can Eat Fish & Chips BRITISH STYLE SUNDAY ROASTS: every Friday from 5pm when spend 200 bt.

DIZZY DOLPHIN, SOI SAMORPHONG; Happy Hour every Bobby’s Bar, Soi 102 day from 1 - 7pm - Samsong + mixer 40 baht, Wine 55 baht, Father Teds, Damnoernkasem Road small/large domestic beers 45/65 baht.

Hua Hin Miss You, Soi 80 DOUBLE D, SOI 6; Happy Hour every day from 3 - 6pm Jungle Juice, Soi Selekam - Samsong + mixer 40 baht, Wine 55 baht, San Miguel and Mucky Duck, Bonkai (Soi 88) Heineken 65 baht, small/large domestic beers 45/70 baht.

Nit’s Kitchen, Soi 94 FATHER TEDS, DAMNOERNKASEM ROAD; Live music, Orchid Restaurant 94, Soi 94 special food and drink offers, draught Guinness, something Palm Bistro, Soi 88 (032 828144) happening every night! See add on p13 for details.

Seajays Resort, off Pala-U Road. 083 311 1787 MUCKY DUCK, SOI 88/94; Now available - Draught Stowford Sunset Boulevard, Khao Takiab Bookings only 084 376 9438 Cider 150 bt for 600 ml.

Ye Olde Buffalo Tavern, Chomsin Rd PASSPORT CAFE, SAMORPHRONG; Now open for Zab Wer, Soi 112.

Breakfasts, Freshly baked bread, Daily Specials and more (see ad p9) RED PIANO, SOI KANJANOMAI; Happy Hour every day from 5 - 7pm buy one get one free.

Contact: Tel.: 082 298 0500 E-mail: realestate@luckyhuahin.com Website: luckyhuahin.com

LOCAL GOLF/ HASH HOUSE HARRIERS BUTTERFLY ROCK GOLF SOCIETY

HUA HIN GOLF SOCIETY

RESULTS 27TH DECEMBER 2016 Lake View A + B Stableford 36 entered 1st Robert Elliot 38 pts (10) 2nd Friedrich Hollman 37 pts (17) 3rd Neung Chueanil 35 pts (06) 4th Hubert Maldonado 35 pts (13)

HASH HOUSE HARRIERS

A DRINKING CLUB WITH A RUNNING AND WALKING PROBLEM! The Cha-Am and Hua Hin Hash House Harrier Clubs meet alternate Saturdays for around an hour’s. run/walk in the surrounding countryside followed by a social gathering. lf you would like to come along then visit our website www.

23RD DECEMBER 2016 21ST DECEMBER 2016 h2h3-cah3.weebly.com or Facebook at Panurangsri Stableford 9 entered Springfield AB Stableford 28 entered www.facebook.com/H2H3CAH3 for full 1st Kieron Bose 32 pts (10) 1st John Oxley 39 pts (13) details and directions. Please note that 2nd Seppo Rintala 39 pts (13) 2nd Daniel Bechu 31 pts (08) people attending and participating do so 3rd Derek Lindsay 36 pts (14) 3rd Colin Whitby 30 pts (06) entirely at their own risk.

4th Wij Wijesena 35 pts (10) 4th Fred Ward 28 pts (18) NEXT RUN

SATURDAY 31ST DECEMBER 2016 FIXTURES FIXTURES MEETING @ 9:30 AM. YES 9:30 AM. 2nd January 2017 Lake View A&B 3rd January 2017 Banyan Monthly Medal Hua Hin House Harriers CAH3 Run Monthly Medal 6th January 2017 Royal Ratchaburi #300 4th January 2017 Palm Hills Stableford Stableford Hares: Ballbanger Location: Car Park of Khrua Met Sai RONNIE’S ROLL UP LAKE VIEW Seafood Restaurant MEMBERS CLUB Held every Friday at Palm Hills. Please Google Map Link: https://goo.gl/maps/ contact Ronnie on 0811 942 556 if you RESULTS mBWutkHZ3qs are interested in joining in, and thanks to 21ST DECEMBER 2016 GPS Coordinates: N 12 48.838, E 99 Course AB (sss36) Nigel for the results.

59.564 (N 12.813961, E 99.992731) 1st Mike Knight (14) 33pts 23RD DECEMBER 2016 Google Map Link from Phet Kasim Road 2nd Mike O’Brien (17) 30pts No results available via Narathip Road: https://goo.gl/maps/ 3rd Greg Smith (21) 29pts CHA AM GOLF CLUB F6U9Xk1gEa22 4th Ray Tebbut (21) 28pts Directions to run site: Contact: secretary@chaamgolfclub.com Make your way to Cha-Am and at the FIXTURES 23RD DECEMBER 2016 only traffic light on Phet Kasem Road 4th January 2017 Lake View New year Course CD (sss34) turn East into Narathip Road toward 1st M. Snakebite (5) 40pts welcome the beach and drive until you get to the 2nd Lars Kristiansen (7) 33pts T-junction at the beach. Go left and drive 3rd Peter Tucker (11) 29pts about 3km and look for the car park on 4th Greg Smith (21) 29pts the right just as you pass temple entrance.

26TH DECEMBER 2016 Any queries then please call Ballbanger Course AB on 085 088 7181 1st Peter Tucker (11) 37pts HASH TAX: Beer Drinking Hashers: 150 2nd Mick Court (17) 37pts baht. Teetotalers : 50 baht. Hashers under 3rd David Brien (11) 36pts 8: 25 baht.

CROSSWORD SOLUTION 4th Mike Lord (14) 33pts Please put tax payment in an envelope with your hash or other name plus Here is last week’s Crossword solution.

FIXTURES amount enclosed printed clearly on the Lake View every Monday, Wednesday, envelope. Put it in the hash tax collection Friday box provided.

RESULTS 26TH DECEMBER 2016 Lake View AB Stableford 23 entered 1st Mark Simpson 38 pts (17) 2nd John Anstee 37 pts (22) 3rd Elina Rintala 36 pts (28) 4th Gary Cooney 36 pts (12)

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LOCAL SPORTS HUA HIN POOL BILLIARD LEAGUE

RESULTS WEEK 6 23RD DECEMBER 2016 Coopers 94 2 - 6 Master Cues Home Bar 5 - 3 Spots Pool Bar 2 Lucky Shot B 3 - 5 Breeze Bar Mucky Duck 4 - 4 Lucky Shot A Pits Pirates 4 - 4 Pits Rangers Spots Pool Bar 1 3 - 5 Humping Pig LEAGUE TABLE Team Humping Pig Lucky Shot A Pits Rangers Home Bar Mucky Duck Pits Pirates Master Cues Spots Pool Bar 1 Breeze Bar Lucky Shot B Spots Pool Bar 2 Coopers 94

P W D L 6 6 0 0 6 4 2 0 6 4 1 1 6 4 1 1 6 3 1 2 6 3 1 2 6 2 1 3 6 2 0 4 6 2 0 4 6 1 1 4 6 1 0 5 6 0 0 6

+/- Pts 22 12 16 10 8 9 6 9 14 7 10 7 -10 5 -6 4 -8 4 -14 3 -12 2 -26 0

HUA HIN KHAO TAKIAB COOL POOL LEAGUE

FIXTURES The season is over. Details of the new season will appear here when available.

LEAGUE TABLE Team Robin Hood Mucky Duck TK Roadhouse Jungle Juice Muan Bar Exotic Bar The Connection Waring Bar JNB Spots Anytime Bar Pats Place

P 22 22 22 22 19 22 21 22 20 22 22 22

W 17 17 16 11 12 10 11 7 8 8 6 6

D 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0

L 5 5 6 11 7 12 10 15 12 14 16 16

+/130 128 28 10 67 -22 -13 -64 -16 -72 -78 -98

Pts 340 339 289 280 271 264 256 243 242 239 236 226

FIXTURES WEEK 7 30TH DECEMBER 2016 Breeze Bar v Spots Pool Bar 1 Humping Pig v Pits Pirates Lucky Shot B v Mucky Duck Master Cues v Home Bar Pits Rangers v Coopers 94 Spots Pool Bar 2 v Lucky Shot A

Ask about our drinks specials and other special offers Contact Andy on 086 178 1550 Email: aknabe@gmx.net 27/3 Poolsuk Road, Hua Hin

HUA HIN KHAO TAKIAB SUPER POOL LEAGUE

RESULTS WEEK 17 22ND DECEMBER 2016 Anytime Bar 9 - 12 Fin Bar Bobby’s Boys 12 - 8 Tore’s Bar Cheeky Monkey 11 - 10 Drink & Shelter Home 18 - 3 Exotic Bar Lanla Bar 8 - 13 Mucky Duck Muan Bar 12 - 9 Bobby’s Birds Spots 9 - 12 Sasa Bar The Dream 6 - 15 TK Roadhouse

LEAGUE TABLE

102 & 88 SATURDAY POOL LEAGUE

FIXTURES WEEK 4 7TH JANUARY 2017 Bobby’s Bar v Dara Bar Master Ques v Mucky Duck

Hua Hin’s only pool bar with FOUR 9’ tables

FIXTURES WEEK 18 5TH JANUARY 2017 Bobby’s Birds v The Dream Drink & Shelter v Muan Bar Exotic Bar v Anytime Bar Fin Bar v Bobby’s Boys Mucky Duck v Cheeky Monkey Sasa Bar v Home TK Roadhouse v Lanla Bar Tore’s Bar v Spots

WEEK 8 6TH JANUARY 2017 Coopers 94 v Humping Pig Home Bar v Pits Rangers Lucky Shot A v Master Cues Mucky Duck v Spots Pool Bar 2 Pits Pirates v Breeze Bar Spots Pool Bar 1 v Lucky Shot B

RESULTS WEEK 3 24TH DECEMBER 2016 Master Ques 15 - 3 Dara Bar Mucky Duck 11 - 7 Bobby’s Bar

LUCKY SHOT BAR

LEAGUE TABLE Team Master Ques Bobby’s Bar Mucky Duck Dara Bar

P W D L 3 2 1 0 3 1 1 1 3 1 1 1 3 0 1 2

+/16 0 0 -16

Pts 5 3 3 1

Team Muan Bar Mucky Duck Drink & Shelter Home TK Roadhouse Cheeky Monkey Lanla Bar Bobby’s Boys Fin Bar Sasa Bar Spots Exotic Bar Anytime Bar Bobby’s Birds Tore’s Bar The Dream

P 16 16 17 17 17 17 17 17 17 17 17 17 17 17 17 17

W 16 15 10 12 9 8 10 9 9 7 5 6 7 6 3 3

L 0 1 7 5 8 9 7 8 8 10 12 11 10 11 14 14

+/144 130 47 45 25 13 11 -4 -19 -29 -43 -47 -49 -49 -76 -99

Pts 240 233 202 201 191 185 184 176 169 164 157 155 154 154 140 129

LOCAL SPORTS HUA HIN SOCIAL POOL LEAGUE

HUA HIN WEDNESDAY POOL LEAGUE

RESULTS No games this week FIXTURES No fixtures until 11th January 2017 LEAGUE TABLE Team King Bar Pink Panther Limelight Tiger Bar Jungle Juice B Jungle Juice A Bentho Bar All Nations GH C 69 JW Red N&G JW Black Booz Bar

P W L 7 7 0 8 7 1 8 6 2 8 6 2 9 6 3 8 5 3 9 5 4 8 3 5 8 3 5 8 2 6 8 2 6 8 1 7 9 0 9

+/31 24 34 20 1 20 7 -4 -10 -18 -20 -26 -59

Pts 14 14 12 12 12 10 10 6 6 4 4 2 0

FIXTURES WEEK 1 4TH JANUARY 2017 Bar 80 Saloon v Sabai Bar Cheeky Monkey v Lucky Shot Coopers 94 v Home Bar Cross Eyed Duck v Spots Humping Pig v Sabai Sabai Restaurant Infinity Bar v Jaew Bar Pits Cafe 1 v Pits Cafe 2 The Breeze v Kom Hom Bar LEAGUE TABLE Team Bar 80 Saloon Cheeky Monkey Coopers 94 Cross Eyed Duck Home Bar Humping Pig Infinity Bar Jaew Bar Kom Hom Bar Lucky Shot Pits Cafe 1 Pits Cafe 2 Sabai Bar Sabai Sabai Spots The Breeze

P W D L 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0

+/- Pts 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0

HUA HIN SOI 80 TUESDAY POOL LEAGUE

RESULTS WEEK 4 27TH DECEMBER 2016 Bar 80 Saloon 6 - 12 Easy Bar Cheeky Monkey 12 - 6 Dream Bar Eagle Bar 7 - 11 Euro 2 Bar J.J. Sports 12 - 6 Hut Bar Mint Bar 9 - 9 Hua Hin Bar Miss U Bar 8 - 10 Fin Bar Mona Bar v Exotic Bar n/a Cross Eyed Duck - no game FIXTURES WEEK 5 3RD JANUARY 2017 Dream Bar v Cross Eyed Duck Easy Bar v Cheeky Monkey Euro 2 Bar v Bar 80 Saloon Exotic Bar v Eagle Bar Fin Bar v Mona Bar Hua Hin Bar v Miss U Bar Hut Bar v Mint Bar J.J. Sports - no game

LEAGUE TABLE Team Fin Bar Easy Bar Dream Bar Euro 2 Bar Cheeky Monkey Exotic Bar J.J. Sports Cross Eyed Duck Hua Hin Bar Miss U Bar Bar 80 Saloon Mint Bar Eagle Bar Mona Bar Hut Bar

P W D 4 4 0 3 3 0 4 3 0 4 3 0 3 2 1 3 2 1 4 2 1 3 1 2 3 1 1 4 1 0 4 0 1 4 0 1 3 0 0 3 0 0 3 0 0

L 0 0 1 1 0 0 1 0 1 3 3 3 3 3 3

+/- Pts 44 12 18 9 10 9 10 9 14 7 12 7 -6 7 4 5 4 4 -6 3 -16 1 -24 1 -14 0 -24 0 -26 0

FRIENDS OF HUA HIN WEDNESDAY FUN POOL LEAGUE

RESULTS No games this week

FIXTURES

No fixtures until 4th January 2017

LEAGUE TABLE Team Muan Bar Master Cues Squealing Pig Pat’s Place T.K. Roadhouse Sea U Bar Mucky Duck Tik’s Bar Dara’s Bar Bobby’s Bangers Sunset Boulevard Bobby’s Beauties

P 21 21 21 21 21 21 21 21 21 21 21 21

W 17 15 15 12 10 9 9 7 5 5 5 5

D 3 2 2 1 3 4 3 1 3 1 1 0

L 1 4 4 8 8 8 9 13 13 15 15 16

+/- Pts 98 37 88 32 60 32 8 25 26 23 -6 22 2 21 -28 15 -42 13 -46 11 -76 11 -84 10

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LOCAL SPORTS THURSDAY FRIENDLY POOL LEAGUE

HUA HIN/KHAO TAKIAB LADIES POOL LEAGUE

RESULTS No games this week FIXTURES WEEK 26 5TH JANUARY 2017 Coopers 94 v Mr Dan’s Hua Hin Bar v Connections Cafe Jaew Bar v Cross Eyed Duck Komhom Bar v MasterCues Bar Mona Bar v Bar 80 Saloon Pit’s Cafe v Dara Bar The Breeze v Mint Bar LEAGUE TABLE Team Cross Eyed Duck Pit’s Cafe Komhom Bar Bar 80 Saloon MasterCues Bar Coopers 94 The Breeze Connections Dara Bar Mona Bar Hua Hin Bar Mr Dan’s Jaew Bar Mint Bar Hut Bar

P 23 24 24 23 23 24 23 23 23 24 23 23 23 23 24

W 21 21 16 13 16 12 11 9 12 7 5 9 3 1 1

D 1 1 3 5 0 3 4 2 0 5 4 0 4 3 1

L 1 2 5 5 7 9 8 12 11 12 14 14 16 19 22

+/198 130 108 72 70 40 22 -12 -24 -58 -58 -74 -116 -128 -170

Pts 372 348 329 297 297 287 267 244 242 230 215 211 182 171 158

RESULTS WEEK 35 26TH DECEMBER 2016 Kom Hom 9 - 9 Muan Bar 2 Muan Bar 15 - 3 Jungle Juice Pat’s Place v Exotic Bar n/a Pit’s Cafe v Dara Bar n/a Robin Hood 15 - 3 Ae De Dang Bar Sa Sa Bar 10 - 8 Cheeky Monkey Sport Bar 14 - 4 Bar 80 Saloon Sunset Boulevard 13 - 5 Anytime Bar The Connection v The Squealing Pig n/a TK Roadhouse 15 - 3 Jaew Bar FIXTURES WEEK 36 2ND JANUARY 2017 Ae De Dang Bar v The Connection Anytime Bar v Robin Hood Bar 80 Saloon v Sunset Boulevard Cheeky Monkey v Sport Bar Dara Bar v Sa Sa Bar Exotic Bar v Pit’s Cafe Jaew Bar v Pat’s Place Jungle Juice v TK Roadhouse Kom Hom v Muan Bar Muan Bar 2 v The Squealing Pig LEAGUE TABLE Team Muan Bar Muan Bar 2 TK Roadhouse Sunset Boulevard Jungle Juice Kom Hom Squealing Pig The Connection Dara Bar Cheeky Monkey Robin Hood Anytime Bar Sa Sa Bar Pat’s Place Pit’s Cafe Bar 80 Saloon Sport Bar Ae De Dang Bar Exotic Bar Jaew Bar

P 35 35 35 35 35 35 34 33 34 35 35 33 34 34 33 35 34 35 34 35

W 33 26 23 22 21 20 19 15 16 16 14 13 10 12 9 9 9 7 6 7

D 1 3 5 6 6 5 5 6 4 2 4 4 6 1 3 1 0 4 5 3

L 1 6 7 7 8 10 10 12 14 17 17 16 18 21 21 25 25 24 23 25

+/280 152 146 106 74 84 50 26 9 -6 2 -24 -40 -86 -120 -122 -122 -151 -126 -132

Pts 67 55 51 50 48 45 43 36 36 34 32 30 26 25 21 19 18 18 17 17

HUA HIN CITY F.C

FIXTURES The season is over. Details of the new season will appear here when available.

Hua Hin City F. C. is the local professional team formed in 2011, playing their matches at the Takiab Stadium in Khao Takiab.

DARTS SUPPLIES 092 845 5773 Brisal Dartboard now available!

10% OFF FOR DARTS LEAGUE PLAYERS HUA HIN DARTS LEAGUE

RESULTS No games this week FIXTURES WEEK 6 3RD JANUARY 2017 Blue Lagoon v Pat’s Place Castaways v Jungle Juice The Clansmen v Robin’s Rest TK’s v Miss You LEAGUE TABLE Team Jungle Juice The Clansmen Miss You Blue Lagoon TK’s Robin’s Rest Castaways Pat’s Place

P W D L F 2 1 1 0 17 1 1 0 0 15 1 1 0 0 12 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 2 0 1 1 6 1 0 0 1 3 1 0 0 1 2

A 2 3 6 0 0 12 15 17

Pts 15 12 6 0 0 -6 -12 -15

Affordable Health Insurance from 50 baht per day with thai-health.com Contact andreas@thai-health.com FIXTURES (all times Thailand)

ENGLISH PREMIER LEAGUE TABLE

FOOTBALL FANTASY PREMIER LEAGUE - AWOL CHALLENGE

SATURDAY 31ST DECEMBER 2016 Team P GD PTS Team GW TOT PREMIER LEAGUE 1 Chelsea 18 27 46 1 Hua Hin Utd 70 1021 Hull City v Everton 03:00 2 Liverpool 18 24 40 2 Custom Cobblers 60 1002 Burnley v Sunderland 22:00 Soi 102, Hua Hin (200m on right after 3 Man City 18 19 39 3 Dannycollinz 50railway)950 Chelsea v Stoke City 22:00 4 Arsenal 18 20 37 4= The Dada Donkeys 76 932 Leicester City v West Ham United 22:00 5 Tottenham 17 17 33 4= Mr. Cha Aming 73 932 Manchester Utd v Middlesbrough 22:00 6 Man Utd 18 9 33 6 FC ROCA 73 920 Southampton v WBA 22:00 Swansea City v Bournemouth 22:00 7 Everton 18 2 26 7 Lost Cafe 40 918 CHAMPIONSHIP 8 Southampton 17 1 24 8 Hua Hin Jambos 96 912 Brighton v Cardiff City 02:45 9 West Brom 18 1 23 9 Frankies 11 35 908 Ipswich Town v Bristol City 02:45 10 Watford 18 -8 22 10 jamboshuahin 42 896 Newcastle Utd v Notts Forest 02:45 11 West Ham 18 -9 22 11 Stenhousemuir 40 889 Reading v Fulham 03:00 12 Bournemouth 18 -8 21 12 Portsmouth City FC 58 886 Hudd’ld Town v Blackburn Rovers 19:30 13 Stoke 18 -8 21 13 Atletico Pathetico 75 885 Barnsley v Birmingham City 22:00 14 Burnley 18 -11 20 14 JR BRUTD S.C 61 881 Derby County v Wigan Athletic 22:00 18 -4 18 15 Nuo_divers 18 821 Preston Nrth End v Sheffield Weds 22:00 15 Middlesbrough Wolves v Queens Park Rangers 22:00 16 Leicester 18 -8 17 16 Pink Panther AFC 35 818 SCOTTISH PREMIERSHIP 17 Crystal Palace 18 -4 16 17 Rentmythaivilla 50 814 Heart of Midlothian v Aberdeen 02:45 18 Sunderland 18 -15 14 18 Wanderlust United 63 813 Rangers v Celtic 19:15 19 Swansea 18 -20 12 19 Waste Of Money 54 803 Hamilton Acad. v Motherwell 20:00 20 Hull 18 -25 12 20 shortimeagain 43 741 Dundee v St Johnstone 21:00 21 Dans Demons 38 732 Partick Thistle v Kilmarnock 21:00 TUESDAY 3RD JANUARY 2017 22 Doghill Growlers 44 725 Ross County v Inverness Cal. Th. 22:00 PREMIER LEAGUE 23 AWOL Wanderers 37 694 West Ham Utd v Manchester Utd 00:15 SUNDAY 1ST JANUARY 2017 FEATURED GAME PREMIER LEAGUE WEDNESDAY 4TH JANUARY 2017 Liverpool v Manchester City 00:30 PREMIER LEAGUE SUNDAY 1ST JANUARY 2017 Watford v Tottenham Hotspur 20:30 Bournemouth v Arsenal 02:45 PREMIER LEAGUE Arsenal v Crystal Palace 23:00 Crystal Palace v Swansea City 03:00 Liverpool v Manchester City 00:30 CHAMPIONSHIP Stoke City v Watford 03:00 There probably won’t be many watching Brentford v Norwich City 00:30 this locally due to its start time, but this THURSDAY 5TH JANUARY 2017 is a crucial match in the title chase. Both MONDAY 2ND JANUARY 2017 PREMIER LEAGUE teams need to win it to keep the pressure PREMIER LEAGUE Spurs v Chelsea 03:00 on Chelsea, so both will be going for it.

Middlesbrough v Leicester City 19:30 It should be a fantastic game with lots of Everton v Southampton 22:00 goals which we think will be just edged Manchester City v Burnley 22:00

by Liverpool.

Sunderland v Liverpool 22:00 West Bromwich Albion v Hull City 22:00 CHAMPIONSHIP Birmingham City v Brentford 22:00 Blackburn Rovers v Newcastle Utd 22:00 Bristol City v Reading 22:00 TRADITIONAL HOME MADE COOKING - THAI AND ENGLISH Burton Albion v Preston North End 22:00 TOP OF SOI 94 OPEN DAILY 8AM TO LATE Cardiff City v Aston Villa 22:00 ALL DAY BREAKFASTS Fulham v Brighton & Hove Albion 22:00 TRADITIONAL SUNDAY ROAST - Lamb, Pork, Beef, Chicken Leeds United v Rotherham United 22:00 Norwich City v Derby County 22:00 Peas, Cauliflower, Broccoli, Carrots, Cabbage, Mash, Nottingham Forest v Barnsley 22:00 Roast Potatoes, Yorkshire Pudding, Stuffing QPR v Ipswich Town 22:00 ONE FREE GLASS OF WINE WITH YOUR SUNDAY LUNCH! Sheffield Wednesday v Wolves 22:00 Pies, Beef Stew, Bangers & Mash, Fish & Chips & more!

Wigan Ath. v Huddersfield Town 22:00

TAKEAWAY CALL 081 820 2309

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STOP LAUGHING! BRITISH VISAS TO BE FAST-TRACKED FOR INDIANS WHO PROMISE NOT TO MENTION THE CRICKET

••

UK The Prime Minister has promised to fasttrack UK visas for Indian workers who agree to keep quiet about the cricket, the government has confirmed.

In a move designed to defuse the disagreement over workers rights for Indians in return for a trade deal, Theresa May has linked more flexible visas to ‘not rubbing it in all the time’.

Any Indian who can ‘shut up for, like, five minutes’ about the fifth test will receive a work permit, with additional rights being granted for not chanting ‘four nil four nil’ at immigration officials and members of the British Council.

A new test will be implemented for potential Indian migrants, with preference shown to any resident of the Subcontinent who can hear the words ‘batting collapse’ without collapsing in a fit of giggles.

“It’s very important, post-Brexit, to have a flexible and welcoming approach to potential migrants to Britain who can keep a straight face when shown a picture of Alistair Cook,” a government spokesman confirmed.

“This is a sensible, realistic proposal which also guarantees to reduce migration from India to single digits.”

Theresa May is understood to have proposed the new arrangement to the Indian Government who have promised to respond just as soon as they’ve stopped cheering and dancing around the office.

Above: Alastair Cook looks ruefully at his bat, as if that had anything to do with it

Soi Bonkai Call 086 006 1271 for reservations Opening hours 10 till late (closed Mon)

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL OUR CUSTOMERS AT THE MUCKY DUCK AND THE CROSS EYED DUCK

CROSS EYED DUCK CLOSED NEW YEARS EVE BUT THERE’S A PARTY AT MUCKY DUCK! NO SUNDAY LUNCH ON NEW YEARS DAY BUT A SPECIAL MENU FROM 12PM. NEXT SUNDAY LUNCH 7TH JANUARY 2017