AWOL Issue 427

FOR THE EXPAT IN ALL OF US! ISSUE 427 12th May 2017

ABSENT WITH OUT LEAVE IN THE LAND OF SMILES

FREE

EVERY FRIDAY SINCE 2008

THE ORIGINAL AND BEST!

GET RACING FROM ONLY 400 BAHT! OPEN EVERYDAY 10.30AM - 7PM

Call 032 547 199 (Office) or 081 817 3000 (Mobile) Located on Soi 2, Phetchkasem Road opposite Hua Hin Airport

www.gokarthuahin.com info@gokarthuahin.com

Victor’s

OPEN 24/7

WIDE RANGE OF ROOMS IN THE HEART OF HUA HIN A/C, LCD TV, DVD player, fridge, free premium wifi, cable TV victorguesthouse@gmail.com 032 511564 60 Naresdamri Road, Hua Hin

P A N AMA BAR

Good Times Every Night A DJ To Save Your Life

DREAM BIGGER

HUA HIN CITY F.C HAS NEW AMBITIOUS OWNERS

•A •new broom has swept into the ownership and management of our local professional football team, HUA HIN

and they have already started making an impact, with a particular focus on the fans and the engagement of the local community.

However that is only the start - in a press release, the new President said, “Today, the club is in Thai League 4, but has the ambition and drive to take it all the way to the Thai Premier League in 4 - 5 years.

For this, my team and Hua Hin Municipality, implemented a new financial and commercial strategy specific to football.” The strategy has three prongs - sports, financial and business/marketing - which encompass using the professional experiences of the management team at the highest level of European football, strong investment by the shareholders in combination with the club’s sponsors, and a strong brand identity, with an emphasis on diversity and real social commitment.

The club’s future plans include renovating the stadium and recruiting European players, but already they have committed to providing free transport to away games for the rest of this season (limited to fifty supporters on a first come, first served basis; call Khun Kaew on 0957 513 243 to register, and reserve your place). They are also opening a club shop in downtown Hua Hin (Naresdamri Road) soon.

The club are now keen to have your support, both at matches, and in sponsorship deals on shirts and around the pitch at the ground in Khao Takiab. There are a number of great opportunities to get in on the ground floor of this new era for Hua Hin F.C, and you can find details of some of these on pages 12 and 13 of this issue.

Contact the new owners via Facebook (HuaHinCityFC) or email info@huahin-fc.com

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LOCAL LISTINGS

Affordable Health Insurance from 50 baht per day with thai-health.com Contact andreas@thai-health.com

CONTACT AWOL TELEPHONE: BARS & PUBS

Double D Father Teds Lucky Shot Panama Bar Pit’s Cafe

PROPERTY

Hot Property Lucky Real Estate Spencers Prop. Services SPORTS & LEISURE

Bridge Club Hua Hin Go Kart Hua Hin Hua Hin City FC

SERVICES & OTHER

Legal Services Hua Hin Self Storage Siam Consulting thai-health.com

TEL.

080 652 0531 081 717 7496 086 178 1550 084 729 5030 TEL.

032 533 533 082 298 0500 091 871 0128 TEL.

see Bazaar 032 547 199 TEL.

084 881 8396 092 927 7207 032 512 075

ACCOMMODATION

All Nations Guesthouse Victor Guesthouse

TEL.

032 512 747 032 511 564

RESTAURANTS/FOOD

British Breakfast Foods Buffalo Tavern Dizzy Dolphin Hua Hin Ham & Bacon Let’s Eat Nit’s Kitchen Passport Cafe Pork Pies Hua Hin The Palm Bistro Toon’s Bar & Restaurant

TEL.

087 155 7737 032 530 087 032 513 144 082 294 5602 081 820 2309 093 139 9655 098 897 2492 032 828 144 086 524 1132

081 649 8361 (Eng) or 081 614 8728 (Thai) OFFICE:

136/229 Emerald Hill, Soi 6, Borfai, Hua Hin, 77110, Prachuap Kiri Khan EMAIL:

info@awolonline.net WEBSITE:

www.awolonline.net FACEBOOK:

AWOLexpat TWITTER:

awolhuahin

New Management New Staff OPEN NOW

Located in Samorphrong Turn right before the 7-11 & we are 200 m up on the right Tel. 091 407 6854 Fresh Pies Every Day

We make these pies fresh every day or to order: Pork, Gala*, Cheese/Onion, Minced Beef/Onion, Steak, Chicken/Leek, Chicken/Mushroom, Meat/Potato, plus we also make Scotch Eggs and Sausage Rolls. *Gala Pies require a minimum 24 hours notice

More pies coming soon - please ask us for your favourite pie!

See photos and prices on Facebook or contact us Delivery available for 30 baht Please contact us for bulk order/business rates

Get your pies at Anna’s Pie Shop & Cafe on Soi 94, Open everyday 9am - 10pm Place orders by: Phone 098 897 2492 Email porkpieshuahin@gmail.com or Facebook britishporkpieshuahin

Affordable Health Insurance from 50 baht per day with thai-health.com Contact andreas@thai-health.com

Nookzii

AWOL WITH..

Join our Sunday Lunch Club and start earning your free Roast Dinner

Photos coutesy of Haribo

Opening times Tuesday till Saturday 10.30 till 14.30, 17.30 till 21.00 Sunday 13.00 till 17.00 Tel. 032 828 144 Web: thepalmbistro.com thepalmbistro@gmail.com Located at Orchid Palm Homes 4 1043 Road, Tabtai, Hua Hin

Double D

Soi 6, Borfai, Hua Hin Tel. 080 652 0531 Looking for a new Bar & Grill Pool Table local bar to grab a Open 3pm - Late beer in Samorphrong FRIDAY 19TH MAY FROM 8PM DD presents TONY LANS (founder of Tumbleweed band) LIVE or Borfai?

Welcome - Free Entry Make Thip’s Bar Happy Hour! 3 - 6All Wine 55 baht San Miguel / Heineken 65 baht pm Sangsom + mixer 40 baht Domestic beers S 45 L 70 baht or Double D your BIG SCREEN SHOWING F1, RUGBY, GOLF, friendly regular place LIVE SPORTS TV EPL, AUSSIE RULES etc Located off the canal road; at the Soi 6 traffic lights go across the bridge over the canal & turn immediately right. to meet others We are about 600 m further on the right, 100 m past the temple, directly behind the small brown Buddha house.

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WEATHER & TIDES WORLD WEATHER (11-5-17)

LOCAL FORECAST AND TIDES

RAIN (MM) CONDITIONS TEMP. °C TIDES CITY WEATHER HIGH H L 1ST 2ND 3RD 4TH °C SA 8 A thunderstorm 32 26 05:29 1.3m 06:38 2.2m 15:03 1.3m 18:47 2.6m Amsterdam Sunny 7 SU 7 A p.m. t-storm 32 26 05:59 1.3m 06:54 2.2m 15:15 1.3m 19:11 2.6m Ankara Sunny 10 MO 4 Cloudy; a t-storm 32 26 06:36 1.4m 07:05 2.1m 15:23 1.3m 19:37 2.6m Athens Cool 16 TU 5 A stray pm t-storm 33 25 07:06 1.4m 07:27 1.4m 15:24 1.3m 20:04 2.5m Auckland Partly sunny 19 WE 8 Cloudy; a t-storm 31 27 15:08 1.4m 20:30 2.5m - Beijing Overcast 28 TH 3 Mostly cloudy 33 26 14:25 1.4m 20:52 2.4m - Berlin Sunny 6 FR 1 A t-storm in spots 32 27 13:50 1.4m 20:20 2.4m - Buenos Aires Passing clouds 14 Cairo Scattered clouds 20 Chicago Drizzle 12 THAILAND WEATHER (11-5-17) Copenhagen Drizzle 6 Dubai Clear 32 Place Temp Hum Conditions Place Temp Hum Conditions Dublin Sunny 3 Nakhon Sawan 33 °C 51% Partly Cldy Aranyaprathet 32 °C 53% Mostly Cldy Helsinki Scattered clouds -2 Nan 29 °C 89% Scattered Clds Ban A To 32 °C 63% Ho Chi Minh City Thunderstorm 31 32 °C 70% Scattered Clds Ban Baen Chado 33 °C 63% Scattered Clds Nang Rong Hong Kong Passing clouds 30 31 °C 70% Partly Cldy Ban Bang Bamru 33 °C 63% Scattered Clds Narathiwat Islamabad Partly sunny 29 32 °C 50% Mostly Cldy Ban Bang Duan 33 °C 63% Scattered Clds Nong Khai Istanbul Sunny 15 Pattani 32 °C 59% Haze Ban Bua Chum 31 °C 62% Mostly Cldy Jakarta Overcast 30 Pattaya 31 °C 62% Partly Cldy Ban Fai Na 28 °C 84% Mostly Cldy Jerusalem Refreshingly cool 19 32 °C 62% Scattered Clds Ban Hua Tho 33 °C 63% Scattered Clds Phayao Johannesburg Clear 10 35 °C 39% Scattered Clds Ban Ko Thung 34 °C 44% Scattered Clds Phetchabun Karachi Clear 33 Phetchaburi 30 °C 75% Partly Cldy Ban Krathing Lai 31 °C 62% Partly Cldy Kuala Lumpur Broken clouds 30 Phitsanulok 34 °C 49% Partly Cldy Ban Na Si Nuan 29 °C 70% Mostly Cldy London Sunny 7 36 °C 37% Scattered Clds Ban Nong Pladuk 32 °C 66% Scattered Clds Phrae Madrid Partly cloudy 11 28 °C 84% Mostly Cldy Ban Samphan 32 °C 53% Scattered Clds Phuket Manila Scattered clouds 34 34 °C 50% Partly Cldy Bangkok 33 °C 52% Scattered Clds Prachin Buri Mexico City Partly cloudy 19 Prach. Khirikhan 26 °C 92% T-storms Chaiyaphum 31 °C 58% Partly Cldy Moscow Fog 0 Ranong 30 °C 70% Partly Cldy Chanthaburi 32 °C 57% Mostly Cldy Mumbai Haze 33 Rayong 31 °C 62% Partly Cldy Chawang 28 °C 77% Light Rain New Delhi Haze 30 Roi Et 32 °C 48% Partly Cldy Chiang Mai 34 °C 41% Mostly Cldy New York Passing clouds 12 33 °C 66% Partly Cldy Chiang Rai 32 °C 62% Scattered Clds Samui Oslo Light rain 1 Sattahip 30 °C 77% Partly Cldy Chok Chai 32 °C 57% Partly Cldy Paris Sunny 13 Satun 30 °C 70% Partly Cldy Chumphon 27 °C 99% Light Rain Perth Sunny 21 Songkhla 31 °C 70% Partly Cldy Kam Paeng Phet 34 °C 48% Haze Phnom-Penh Chance of a t-storm 31 Sukhothai 35 °C 49% Mostly Cldy Kamalasai 32 °C 57% Mist Rio De Janeiro Partly cloudy 23 Suphan Buri 33 °C 36% Scattered Clds Kanchanaburi 33 °C 47% Haze Riyadh Broken clouds 28 Surat Thani 32 °C 66% Mostly Cldy Khanom 33 °C 66% Partly Cldy Rome Sunny 15 Surin 32 °C 70% Scattered Clds Khlong Yai 28 °C 89% Light Rain San Francisco Passing clouds 13 33 °C 53% Haze Ko Lanta 29 °C 79% Scattered Clds Tak Seoul Clear 23 Takua Pa 28 °C 84% Mostly Cldy Ko Samui 33 °C 66% Partly Cldy Shanghai Sunny 33 33 °C 30% Scattered Clds Ko Sichang 33 °C 52% Scattered Clds Tha Tum Singapore Partly sunny 31 Tha Wang Pha 29 °C 89% Scattered Clds Krabi 30 °C 70% Mostly Cldy Stockholm Sunny 2 35 °C 49% Mostly Cldy Lampang 33 °C 55% Scattered Clds Thoen Sydney Partly sunny 19 Thong Pha Phum 34 °C 43% Haze Lamphun 34 °C 41% Mostly Cldy Taibei/Taipei Broken clouds 32 29 °C 89% Scattered Clds Loei 30 °C 66% Scattered Clds Thung Chang Tokyo Scattered clouds 23 29 °C 79% Scattered Clds Lop Buri 33 °C 63% Scattered Clds Trang Vancouver Mostly cloudy 14 28 °C 89% Light Rain Mae Hong Son 35 °C 37% Scattered Clds Trat Vientiane Thunderstorm 29 Mae Sariang 35 °C 45% Scattered Clds Ubon Ratchathani 32 °C 62% Scattered Clds Yangon Scattered clouds 34 33 °C 55% Scattered Clds Mae Sot 35 °C 41% Scattered Clds Udon Thani Zurich Cool 10 35 °C 41% Scattered Clds Mukdahan 32 °C 51% Scattered Clds Umphang Nakhon Phanom 33 °C 48% Partly Cldy Nak. Ratchasima 32 °C 56% Partly Cldy

Uttaradit Wichian Buri

35 °C 40% Scattered Clds 33 °C 53% Partly Cldy

YOUR STARS

Pub, restaurant & guesthouse

Opposite the Fishing Pier

We’ve got WOT?!

WINE ON TAP! Red and White Spanish Wine available by the glass or carafe

TRY IT TODAY!

For reservations or information call 032 530087 www.buffalobillshuahin.com Located on the corner of Chomsin/ Naresdamri rd CAPRICORN DEC 22 - JAN 19

Nobody likes a know-it-all, but then, you probably knew that already, you smug jerk.

TAURUS APR 21 – MAY 21

The stars foresee a second job promotion in the days to come, though they should probably be telling Dave about it instead of you.

AQUARIUS JAN 20 – FEB 18

You should have more folding GEMINI MAY 22 – JUNE 21 You’ll soon possess the chairs around. If wrestlers courage of 10 men, and the come over and can’t find one, sexually transmitted diseases they’ll use something else. of about 50.

PISCES FEB 19 – MAR 20

Success is often difficult to define, though for you, it pretty much boils down to filling that cup with clean urine.

ARIES MAR 21 - APR 20

The throbbing inside your skull will finally come to a stop this week, signaling the end of the Trematode’s gestation period.

VIRGO AUG 23 – SEP 22

You’ll die a little bit on the inside this week, and a whole heck of a lot on the outside.

LIBRA SEP 23 – OCT 23

having sex.

It’ll be a nuisance wearing the Nielsen box on your head all week, but at least you’ll find out that your viewership goes up when you’re fighting or

CANCER JUN 22 – JUL 22

The hounds of hell will be at your door this week, clawing furiously to be let out and use the bathroom.

LEO JUL 23 – AUG 22

Despite the offer of a brand new car, an all-expense-paid trip to Greece, and a fourpiece living room set, you’ll once again go for the box with the question mark on it.

SCORPIO OCT 24 – NOV 21

Everyone wants to live forever, but in your case it would just mean more time being chased by an angry swarm of bees.

SAGITTARIUS NOV 22 – DEC 21

Your extremely trying week will not be improved by your decision to deal with all problems by leaning on the horn.

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AWOL BAZAAR 2 bed, one bath 65 sq m 3rd flr apartment just 3 mins walk to the beach.

Facilities on site include: Large pool & children’s pool.

Fitness room. Private parking (underground). 24 hr security.

Children’s play room.

Fitted with modern kitchen appliances, balcony furniture, Sat TV, Wifi. Flat screen TV’s in living and both bedrooms. Dining table and chairs. Bedrooms have wood flooring and air-con.

Balcony overlooking pool with table and chairs.

Price was 4.8m now 3.75m baht Please email chris.b@btinternet.com or phone 090 996 4731 to arrange viewing

ACCOMMODATION

e ve s W ha ike w rb le! no oto sa m for

Two Bed Sea Craze Condo

Rooms from 3000 bt p/m Apartments 7000 bt p/m All near beach Condo with sea view & pool 12,000 bt p/m

MOTORBIKE/CAR RENT

Motorbikes 250 a day, 1400 a week, 4500 a month Cars from 900 a day, 4000 a week, 12,000 a month

SELF STORAGE

Any item, furniture, m’bikes, bicycles, baggage etc

Discount for long term contracts Call David on 092 927 7207 Email davidhodgins@ymail.com

Contact: Tel.: 082 298 0500 E-mail: luckyrealestatehuahin@gmail.com Website: luckyhuahin.com

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS If you want to drink, that’s your business, if you want to stop, we can help.

Call to speak to an AA member:

Peo (Swedish) - 086 012 0856 Henrik - 095-950-7550 Loren - 081-007-6856 Terry aatha - 091-883-7757 iland.org www.

Meetings every day in Hua Hin

The Bridge Club Hua Hin

Is looking for New Members Every Monday and Thursdays from 14:00 to 17:30 at Say Cheese Games and Sports Soi 74 (Amnuaysin) Register by mail: b.j.bridge@hotmail.com Or walk in @ Guesthouse Say Cheese soi 74

ADULT ENGLISH CLASSES

Do you or a partner want to improve your English?

Classes now available with a qualified native English speaker for anyone 20 years and older.

Monday and Wednesday evenings from 6 - 8pm 16 hours a month 1000 baht or 8 hours a month 500 baht.

TEL. 081 154 9158 for English or Thai.

DRIVING IN THAILAND? International driving licence valid 5 years 1800 bt.

Call 089 530 8771 (Eng)

NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS

A non-profit fellowship of men and women for whom drugs have become a major problem

Meetings now in Hua Hin on Sundays at 10.30am, Tuesdays at 12 noon and Thursdays at 6pm CONTACT Add 086 014 7585 Emmanuel K. 090 438 387 Mark 084 314 1928

Bobby’s British Breakfast Foods

ENGLISH CORNER & EVENTS

UK Sausages, Ham, Bacon, Pies, Teas etc.

••

Call 087 155 7737 or 089 985 7473

A section for all you budding etymologists where each week the origin of a word or phrase is investigated. not considered someone whom his tutors could flog. Charles’s THIS WEEK IT IS....WHIPPING BOY A scapegoat. One who is singled out for blame or punishment. whipping boy was his close friend William Murray, so recorded It seems an odd notion to us now that a royal court would in 1715 by Gilbert Burnet in History of his own time: have kept a child for the purpose of beating him when the “William Murray of the bed-chamber, that had been whipping crown prince did wrong. That’s just what did happen though. boy to King Charles the first.”

Whipping Boy was an established position at the English court In later life Murray may well have considered the beatings during the Tudor and Stuart monarchies of the 15th and 16th worthwhile. In 1626, he moved into the palatial Ham House. centuries. This may not have been quite as bad as it sounds. In 1643, Charles made him the 1st. Earl of Dysart.

The whipping boys weren’t hapless street urchins living a life The term ‘whipping boy’ is first recorded in print in Charles I’s of torment, but high-born companions to the royal princes. reign, by John Trapp, in his A commentary or exposition upon They were educated with the princes and shared many of the the five books of Moses: privileges of royalty. The downside was that, if the prince did “Rebuke before all: yet not as if they were whipping boyes.” wrong, the whipping boy was punished. It was considered a It isn’t until much later that the term is used allusively, that is, form of punishment to the prince that someone he cared about referring to a scapegoat but with no actual whipping involved.

In The Times, October 1857, we have: was made to suffer.

The strangeness of the concept is a little easier to understand “Or will the public have still reason to say that M. Migdeon, even when put into context. The Divine Right of Kings was the supposing all that has been brought against him true, is merely belief that legitimate kings were appointed by God and so the whipping boy?” were answerable to God alone. James I (a.k.a. ‘The Wisest The word ‘scapegoat’ is interesting in itself and has a similar Fool in Christendom’), in his ‘Speech Before Parliament’, 1609, derivation to ‘whipping boy’. It is Biblical in origin and is recorded by 1530 in Tyndale’s Bible. In the Mosaic ritual of declared: “The state of monarchy is the supremest thing upon earth; for the Day of Atonement, one of two goats was sent alive into the kings are not only God’s lieutenants upon earth, and sit upon wilderness, the sins of the people having been symbolically laid upon it, while the other was sacrificed.

God’s throne, but even by God himself they are called Gods.”

That belief, although widely disputed and a root cause of the Is there an English phrase or saying that English Civil War, was accepted at court at the time. Even you would like to know more about? touching the monarch was, and still is, considered improper.

Email it to us on submissions@awolonline.net It’s not surprising then that James’s son and heir Charles was Welcome to our collaborative section with Hua Hin’s only local radio station playing Western music 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, the one and only Surf 102.5 FM! Every day Surf features local events and activities that visitors and locals might be interested in enjoying, and you will find these below. If you know of an event, activity or regular happening that is not listed here or in our Balloon Chasers section, please get in touch by email to either AWOL (submissions@awolonline.net or Surf 102.5 FM (surf102.5fm@gmail.com) or via either of the respective Facebook pages; AWOLexpat or Surf102.5.

UPCOMING INFORM AWOL OR SURF FM of your charitable the members in the group has a chance to or non commercial event and we will announce host a dinner party in his/her home for the it here other members. If you love cooking and like to make new friends you should join. You do ONGOING not need to be an expert. Tel. Robert 0983 RESCUE PAWS is a non-profit organization 562290 based in Hua Hin dedicated to helping DUSIT THANI HUA HIN SOCCER and improving the lives of Thailand’s stray ACADEMY: exercise and professional animal population. Find out more on their football coaching for kids. website rescuepawsasia.org or Facebook page HUA HIN HASH HOUSE HARRIERS every RescuePawsThailand Saturday around the area. (see p22) TRASH HERO HUA HIN now every Sunday CICADA MARKET AND PERFORMING at 3pm a beach area gets cleaned. See their ARTS FAIR. The Venue@Suansri. Fri/Sat eponymous Facebook page for weekly details evenings from sunset to 12 pm, Sundays from HUA HIN HOBBY COOKING CLUB If cooking 4pm; Dining, shopping, art, performances, is your hobby you can join an international and films in a beautiful park-like setting. A group of hobby cooks in Hua Hin. Each one of great place to spend an evening

SURF 102.5 FM SCHEDULE The Marriott Breakfast Show with Steve Johnston Mon. to Fri. 6:30 - 10:00 Asia Pop 40 with Dom Lau Sat. 09:00 - 12:00, Sun. 22:00 - 18:00 Tue. 21:00 - 24:00 “Something On The Radio” with James Ross Sun., Wed., Fri. 21:00-23:00 LA Spinz with Peter Reynolds Mon., Wed., Fri. 19:30 Q Burn Rocks On with Peter Antony Fri. 23:00

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SUDOKU Each week we have an easy and a hard Sudoku puzzle. Just fill in the empty squares so that each horizontal and vertical line, and each section, has all the numbers 1 to 9.

We would like to apologise for an error in issue 418 (24th February) - we mistakenly reprinted the same two puzzles as for the previous week, but in issue 419 (3rd March) printed solutions to the puzzles that should have appeared. Many thanks to Mr Brian Tweedie for pointing out our error.

PUZZLE 1 (EASY)

PUZZLE 2 (HARD)

LAST ISSUE’S SOLUTIONS PUZZLE 1

EXPAT INSURANCE SOLUTIONS ‘10 YEARS IN TOWN’

Health (up to 80), Car, Motorbike, House, Commercial.

Full medical cover for expats worldwide Travel insurance specialist (including as required for Schenghen visas) 250/129 soi 94 opp. Smile Hotel - before railway 085 962 2232 or 032 512075 franckracinesiamconsulting@gmail.com www.siam-consulting.asia www.asiaexpatinsurance.com

PUZZLE 2

ALL NATIONS

hua hin

guesthouse and bar 12 rooms from 350 baht a night free wifi for guests 032 512747

allnationshuahin@ gmail.com Drop your AWOL Classifieds in here

Let’s Eat RESTAURANT

PUZZLES

Open 9am to 9pm English Breakfast and Thai Food Soi 3 Khao Takiab (next to 7-11) Call 082 294 5602

CODEWORD

Each letter in this puzzle is represented by a number 1-26. Can you crack the code and solve the crossword? Every letter of the alphabet is used at least once.

Two or three letters are already in place to get you started. Use the 1-26 small grid to keep track.

LAST ISSUE’S SOLUTION

A N

B O

C P

D Q

E R

F S

G H T U

I J K V W X

L Y

M Z

CROSSWORD ACROSS 1 Red sauce (6,7) 8 Albion (7) 9 Take possession of illegally (5) 10 Recent popes (4,4) 11 Empty covering of marine mollusc (8) 13 Fibre from plant (6) 14 Where Kubla Khan decreed a pleasure dome (6) 17 Without socks or shoes (8) 19 See 10 21 Subcontinent (5) 22 Talk - indication of house (7) 24 In a negligent manner (13)

The solution to last week’s puzzle is on page 19

DOWN 1 Base of ever-expanding nursery rhyme (3,5,4,4,5) 2 Passport photograph? (3,4) 3 See 1 4 Organ at back of abdomen (6) 5 Dry as hut (anag) (8) 6 See 1 7 Official letter from Rome (5,4) 10 See 1 12 He was born 250 years ago (8,7,6) 15 See 12 16 See 12 18 Cowboy show (5) 20 Border (4) 23 Secret agent (3)

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AREA 555 Got some great jokes?

Send them to us on submissions@awolonline.net

••

PIANIST A guy is walking down the road when he notices a night club ahead. He goes in, up to the bar and asks for a drink. The bar owner, who was tending bar, says, “I’ve never seen you in here before.” The guy says, “Yes, I’m not from around here. I’m just passing through on my way to find a job.”

The owner asks, “What do you do?”

The guy says, “I write music and play the piano.” The owner, looking excited says, “REALLY! I have an ad in the paper looking for someone to play my piano. Please sit down at the keyboard and play for me if you’re interested.” The guy does and as he plays the piano the owner is in awe of his talent and musical abilities. The owner says, “You play piano more beautifully than anyone I ever heard! What is the name of that song?” The guy says, “I wrote that song and the name is Two Lesbians Screwing Their Brains Out.” The owner is taken back.

He says, “My gosh, that’s a terrible name for such a beautiful song. Do you know any others?” The guy smiles and plays again. Once more the owner is astounded by his talent and musical abilities. He’s almost afraid to but he does ask what the name of the song is. The guy answers, “I Boned Her All Night Until She Couldn’t Take Anymore.” The owner again was shocked. He says, “OK, you play beautifully and the songs are incredible. I will hire you, but you have to promise not to tell the name of your songs to the patrons.” The guy agrees.

That night the guy was playing the piano and the crowd was just

Power Of Love Church

HELP NEEDED FOR THE SLUMS IN HUA HIN

We are working to help the Slums of Hua Hin and would love to have you deliver your goods with us, so you know your donation is going directly to those who need it. We need secondhand items, clothes and household goods.

Why not join us and come to the slums with us?

We leave from our offices at 17:20 Every Tuesday evening. Visit us any day at the Power Of Love Children’s Home, Soi CJ, Khao Takiab, Hua Hin Facebook@Power of Love Church Tel K. Andrew 080 999 3603 K. Panaya 092 592 3604 (Thai) (Services every Sunday 10 am at Hilton Resort and Spa)

as amazed as the owner was with this man’s musical abilities.

After playing two songs the crowd stood up and applauded.

The guy was really pleased and stood up to take a bow. When he stood up and faced the audience, it was apparent that his zipper was open and his dick and balls were hanging out. One of the patrons close to the piano says, “Sir, do you know your dick and balls are hanging out?”

The guy smiles and says, “KNOW IT? I WROTE IT!”

••

EMERGENCY New French President Macron calls Theresa May with an emergency: Our largest condom factory has exploded!” the President cries, “My people’s favourite form of birth control!

This is a true disaster!” “Emmanuel, the British will do everything we can to help you,” replies the Prime Minister. “I do need your help,” says Macron. “Could you possibly send 1,000,000 condoms ASAP to tide us over?” “Certainly! I will deal with it straight away!” says May. “Oh, and one more small favour, please?” says Macron. “Yes?” “Could the condoms be red, white & blue in colour, at least 10” long and 4” in diameter?” says Macron. “No problem,” replied the Prime Minister and, with that, May hangs up and calls the President of Durex. “I need a favour, you have to make 1,000,000 condoms right away and send them to France.”

“Consider it done,” says the President of Durex. “Great! Now listen, they have to be red, white and blue in colour; at least 10” long and 4” in diameter.” “Easily done. Anything else?”

“Yes,” says the PM, “and print ‘MADE IN THE UK, SIZE MEDIUM’ on each one.”

TO HULL AND BACK Restaurant & Bakery in Samorphrong

OPEN 11AM - 9PM EVERY DAY (Closed Tuesdays) Delicious Home Cooked Western & Thai Food DAILY SPECIALS - CHECK OUR BLACKBOARD Breakfasts - Fresh Bread Baked Daily Free Wi-Fi - Easy Parking Contact us on 093 139 9655 or food@passportcafehuahin.com

Menu on passportcafehuahin.com and Facebook page Passport-Cafe Directions: From Hua Hin go north on the Klong (Canal) Road through the traffic lights and turn left at the blue bridge with the water tower next to it, then immediately right before the 7-11. Follow this road for approximately 1.5 km and you will find us on the right opposite Tropical Hill.

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ROYAL RUMBLE Last week we looked at changes to driving tests in both Thailand and the UK, and noted that UK Police seem to be fighting a losing battle against people who use mobile phones while driving. Despite risking increased points on licences, longer prison sentences, and the increasing use of dash cams which can so often provide evidence, the offenders continue. Then out of the blue came news of a new initiative intended to nip the problem in the bud by catching them young. Simulations of accidents caused by phone use are being shown in schools, and if that doesn’t have an effect - longer term of course - then nothing will.

Just listening to the real time account of a reporter who was trying out the simulator was pretty scary. The reporter/passenger first described the car swerving about before rounding a bend and crashing into the back of a tractor. Everything goes black, then slowly he begins to see the rear seat passenger who is dead on the bonnet of the car. Meanwhile passenger and driver are both trapped. Then the sound of sirens approaching, everything going black again, sounds of cutting equipment and a helicopter.

The prospect of 15 and 16 year old pupils claiming compensation for post traumatic stress syndrome caused by the simulator surely can’t be far away.

Also, during another busy week in politics, our Royal Family attempted to cause a diversion by announcing that Prince Phillip plans to give up his official duties. And why not. After all he gave up a Naval career to concentrate on supporting the Queen, and having to walk two paces behind her all the time.

How many other men would do that for 70 years, while still

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managing to come out with those many outrageously non PC comments which have given us all a laugh?

It’s finally time for the kids to step up and do their bit, but you have to wonder if the decision has already ruffled a few Prince of Wales feathers. During the first few days ‘Team Windsor’ were very quiet, until it fell to the Queens’ youngest son Prince Edward to break the silence by speaking up in favour of the change.

On This Day

A right Royal change also took place on May 12th 1937, when the Coronation of King George 6th was responsible for throwing the present Team Windsor into the mix. George 6th of course was forced onto the throne following the abdication of his elder brother Edward 8th. Fortunately George was free to be crowned on the day already earmarked for Edwards’ Coronation, which must have saved the State quite a bit of money.

Fast forward to May 12th 1977, the day on which Pink Floyd performed the first ever quadrophonic concert in London.

It would be another two years before the release of the film Quadrophenia, which featured the sound track of the same name by The Who, and a mixed up Mod called Billy riding his scooter close to a cliff edge in that memorable closing scene.

We all thought that Billy had disappeared over the cliff along with his scooter, never to be seen again, until last years’ plan to make a Quadrophenia sequel.

So what has happened to that sequel, which is supposed to feature a Billy who somehow escaped death? It seems to have gone as quiet as Team Windsor at the moment, while doubts surround whether it was a good idea in the first place. Given that sequels rarely work anyway let’s hope the iconic original version is left well alone.

Finally for all you cricket lovers, May 12th 1890 saw the birth of County Cricket matches in England, with a match between Yorkshire and Gloucestershire. The winning team was of course Yorkshire, which seems as good a reason as any for it to be mentioned in this page.

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HUA HIN CITY F.C ADVERTISING OPPORTUNITIES AT THE HUA HIN CITY FC STADIUM 28 Billboards around the pitch Contact info@huahin-fc.com for prices and details

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CLASSIFIEDS BUSINESS

LARGE RESTAUARANT FOR

sale on half rai of land on Soi 112.

60 covers at present. Plenty of room for more. Price 2.5 m baht includes all fixtures, fittings, stock etc. No key money. Rent 18,000 baht per month.For more details see also page 7. Contact: 087 694 7289 Tony (Eng.), 081 880 5861/ 080 435 6288 Tik (Th.) BANANA FRANCHISE. UNIQUE to Hua Hin and sells well. Fried Banana wrapped in sweet pastry. Delicious with or without topping. Complete stand and accessories. Electric Fryer and tools included 10,000. Contact Paul on 0852270332 KEBAB MACHINE DONER (Shwarma). Includes 15kg Gas Bottle and tools. High Quality build (from Turkey). Automatic rotation. Immaculate.

25,000 baht. NO OFFERS. Contact Paul on 0852270332 SMALL GUESTHOUSE, BAR, restaurant, established in prime location, 5 bedrooms, 5 bathrooms, 2 clean kitchens, 2 eating areas (inside/ outside). Large private lounge upstairs. Customer base throughout year.

Cheap rent paid up to September 2017. Good landlord. Parking front and rear. Owner relocating. Price includes everything, 850,000 baht. Also resident staff. Terms available. Details 09307 46204 THRIVING LOCAL RESTAURANT and premises for sale. Two storey townhouse on a corner plot comprising a small restaurant with two kitchen areas and toilet on the ground floor, and 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms on the upper floor, located in a busy residential area with several large estates in walking distance. Reluctantly selling this excellent property and business to invest elsewhere. Price 5.2 m baht. Please call 093 139 9655.

EMPLOYMENT

Property Law Criminal & Civil Law Family Law Company Registration Visa & Notary Services

Contact: rita@legalserviceshuahin.com facebook.com/legalserviceshuahin Located at Makro Food services 300 PLUS BOOKS and shelf units Large selection of used books some hard backs a few travel guides. Really want to sell as job lot ideal for starting a book exchange / sell or add to existing one. 15,000 baht. Contact seller via AWOL Classifieds Facebook Group LARGE BOX 70 plus boxes for sale 30bt each. Most only used once.

Contact seller via AWOL Classifieds Facebook Group.

CHEST FREEZER - White Sanden SNH-0403D11A. 4’6” Wide. Good condition. New 13,950. Only 4500 baht. Contact Paul on 0852270332 CREPE MAKER - Stainless Steel, Single Plate Electric. 2 months old.

14,599 baht new. Only 9,000 baht. Contact Paul on 0852270332 DOG CAGE/TRANSPORTER BUILT to fit a pick up. Has divider to accommodate 2 small or medium dogs. Sale due to lack of storage space.

4,000 baht. Please call 0862 118250 BBQ BILLABONG MAKE Used but good working condition the BBQ is supplied with gas bottle and valve. 5,250 baht. Call 086 211 8250

GENERAL - SPORTS

ADVERTISE FOR STAFF here for free!

SERVICES

SELF STORAGE ANY item, furniture, m’bikes, bicycles, baggage etc.

Discount for long term contracts. Call David on 092 927 7207 or Email davidhodgins@ymail.com WANTED

LOOKING TO BUY

Jungle Aid is looking to buy a quantity of fleece blankets to take to the Karen people living in the mountains along the Myanmar / Thailand border. Does anyone know where we might be able to purchase 30-40? Contact via AWOL Classifieds Facebook Group SKAT - AELTERE herren fuer private Skatrunde gesucht. Eventuell zwei mal monatlich, ohne jeden monetaeren einsatz. Interessenten bitte melden TEL. 093 694 6245 oder EMAIL hes3003@gmail.com.

GENERAL

SINGLE FOLD UP bed with mattress, as new. 3000 baht o.n.o. Call 032 523604

GO PRO HERO 3 loads of extras including 3 batteries 1 extra long term

battery varied connections and fitments plus extension pole. 7,000 baht.

Contact seller via AWOL Classifieds Facebook Group

PALM HILLS GOLF

Membership For Sale. Until February 2035 (18 Years). Current PH promo price-10 years= 150,000 Bt + Transfer fee. Prorata price for 18 years therefore=270,000 Bt. Discounted To 195,000 Bt + Transfer Fee. Contact: Craig 081193 6230 or email craig.miller@live.co.uk FULL SIZE POOL table for sale with all accessories, cues, balls and light.

Very good condition, two and a half years old, used very little. Can be seen at JP Restaurant in Samorphrong. 45,000 baht. Contact 085 204 9475.

GOLF CLUBS LEFT handed golf clubs, one mens and one ladies. 6000 each. Contact via AWOL Classifieds Facebook Group VARIOUS GOLF CLUBS for sale. MacGregor M59 7 irons, 3,5,7 FW & Hybrid. Callaway Steelhead 7 irons & 9 FW, Taylor M. R9 driver 2 shafts, hybrids from Ping & Cobra, 2 2-ball putters, Cleveland LW, Fairway woods Taylor M. & Wilson. Mail for more info. Together or apart. Good Offer accepted. Please call 08-30138132 or email peter@pjtrim.com NEW POOL CUES for sale RAID Low Deflection Shaft 2-piece Custom Pool Cue with Sport Wrap by Falcon Cues. R650 Low Deflection Technology Selected Canadian 13mm Maple Shaft with 5 Layer Leather Tip; 3.5 Thread Quick Release Joint; Black Base Forearm with Contrasting Blue Point and 3D Bubble Grip Sport Wrap. Comes with Gray Sleeve and Joint Protector. only 4900 Baht each. Have a look @ Lucky Shot Pool Bar Poonsuk Road evening after 8 pm LAKE VIEW GOLF Club, wanted 2 membership. Please contact me.

E-mail andresen.p@gmail.com. Phone 0615450882 Petter Andresen

PLACING A CLASSIFIED WITH AWOL

All adverts are free except adverts for Property For Rent or Sale, Business or Services and Auto.

Free ads will be included for at least four weeks automatically. Please use our online Classifieds to enhance your chances of a successful ad.

Option 1: register or log in at www.awolonline.net/classifieds and place your advert there; Option 2: email to classifieds@awolonline.net; Option 3: write the details clearly in BLOCK capitals on paper and mail or drop it in to our office (address on page 17) The deadline for guaranteed inclusion in that week’s issue is 6pm on Tuesday. Please notify us if your advert is no longer needed.

Business, Services and Property for sale or rent Rates: Up to 50 words: 500 baht for 4 issues, 1000 baht for 13 issues. Additional words charged at 20 baht per word.

Example: 60 words charged at 500 plus (10 x 20)=700 baht for 4 issues, or 1000 plus (10 x 20)=1200 for 13 issues.

Please note that paid ads placed online can have up to 750 words and 3 images depending on which plan is selected.

There is also a fixed fee and/or commission deal available for Property - please contact property@awolonline.net or realestate@luckyhuahin. com for details.

Auto Rates: Items priced up to 10,000 baht, 13 issues for 500 baht. Items priced over 10,000 baht, 13 issues for 1000 baht. Maximum 50 words for all ads; unpriced items pay the higher rate.

Contact classifieds@awolonline.net for further information or to place an advert.

CLASSIFIEDS

PICKLEBALL PAKNAM PRAN

Pickleball partner for single play needed for early morning play or late afternoon play at Evason Resort. Email sledpullric@gmail.com

AUTO: GENERAL

MOTORBIKE/CAR RENT MOTORBIKES 250 a day, 1400 a week,

4500 a month, Cars from 900 a day, 4000 a week, 12,000 a month. Please call David on 092 927 7207 or email davidhodgins@ymail.com for more information

2.5 rai just 4.8m baht. Also adjacent land of 0.7 rai available for 480,000 baht or make an offer for both. Contact 089 530 8771 or go to luckyhuahin.com for photos and information.

PROPERTY WANTED

LOOKING FOR PROPERTY? Post your wanted ad here for free!

COMMERCIAL PROPERTY

SUNRISE COAST COMMERCIAL

AUTO: 3 WHEELS & LESS

HUA HIN BIKERBOYS

We are a group of friends of different nationalities living in Hua Hin that enjoy riding together on small motorbikes (max. 150 cc) exploring around Hua Hin, sharing some good laughs. We are not biking for the speed or to do tracks, we are more “ touring/ adventure “ type of rides who likes discover new places and share some good travel experiences. Most of the time we drive on small scenery roads with less traffic. Rides are with your own or your rented bike. Every 2 weeks there is a ride, mostly once a 1-day ride and once a 2-or 3-day ride. Participation is free and ladies are welcome. Details on facebook page or send mail to sikkens2011@gmail.com

AUTO: 4 WHEELS PLUS

NEARLY NEW MG3 for sale. 2016 hatchback C 1.5.

4 year warranty.

14,500 k’s. As new, trendy yellow body and black trim/roof, Thb 415,000 ONO. Phone 0614386005 / 0968833172 / email nirvanadua2015l@gmail. com

PROPERTY FOR SALE

TWO BED SEA Craze Condo -

LARGE HOUSE AND land near Cha Am for sale; 200 sqm living area on

properties - we have a variety of land, resorts and other commercial opportunities available in the Bang Saphan area. Contact 089 530 8771 for details.

PROPERTY FOR RENT

ROOMS FROM 3000

bt p/m, Apartments 7000 bt p/m All close to beach, Condo with sea view and pool 12,000 bt p/m. Weekly and daily rates available. Tiks Place at VIP Condo just north of Hua Hin airport, opposite Palm Hills. Please call David on 092 927 7207 or email davidhodgins@ymail. com for more information

PERSONALS

SERIOUS GENTLEMAN IN

Hua Hin wants single, mature English speaking Lady to form long term partnership, living together. email: diamondhenk@gmail.com

ANNOUNCEMENTS

MAKE YOUR PERSONAL or business announcement here; Weddings,

2 bed, one bath 65 sq m 3rd flr apartment just 3 mins walk to the beach. Full details and photos at the AWOL property website, further details on page 6 in the AWOL Bazaar. Price was 4.8m now 3.75m baht. Please email chris.b@btinternet.com or phone 090 996 4731 to arrange viewing

Birthdays, Funerals, Obituaries, Barmitzvahs, Parties, anything! Up to 50 words just 100 baht for two issues, up to 150 words plus a picture for 300 baht for two issues. Place ads and pay online on the Announcements board of the AWOL Forum at www.awolonline.net/forum/index.php?board=16, or in person at our office, or by emailing us and transfering the payment to our bank. Contact submissions@awolonline.net for help or information.

DISCLAIMER

All articles are published in good faith and based on information available to us at publication. Some articles are satire or ‘spoof ’ stories intended as humour.

No responsibility is accepted other than that stipulated by law. Although the information in this publication has been obtained from sources believed to be reliable, AWOL cannot guarantee accuracy in all cases. Any opinions expressed are those of the contributor and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher.

All materials copyright. All rights reserved and no part of this publication may be reproduced in part or in full without the previous written consent of the publisher. Neither can any part be stored in a retrieval situation, nor transmitted by electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or any other means.

AWOL is printed by Petchpoom Printing, and we can be contacted on info@awolonline.net or 081 614 8728. Please send any other communications to Mrs Chukamol James, Managing Director, AWOL Co. Ltd., 136/229 Emerald Hill, Soi 6, Mooban Borfai, Hua Hin, Prachuap Kiri Khan, 7110, THAILAND.

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MONEY & INFORMATION OVERSEAS CALLS INFORMATION

USEFUL NUMBERS

REVERSE CHARGE CALLS The list below is the free number to connect to an operator of that country to request the reverse charge call.

ARGENTINA 001-999-54-1000/ 2000 AUSTRALIA 001-999-61-1000/2000 AUSTRIA 001-800-28787421 BAHRAIN 001-999-973-1000 BRUNEI 001-999-673-1000 CANADA 001-999-15-1000/2000 DENMARK 001-999-45-1000 FRANCE 001-999-33-1000 GERMANY 001-999-49-1000 HAWAII 001-800-865-8424 HONG KONG 001-999-852-1086 INDONESIA 001-999-62-1000/2000 ISRAEL 001-999-972-1000/ 2000 ITALY 001-999-39-1000 JAPAN 001-999-811-0051 KOREA 001-999-82-1000/ 2000/ 2001 MACAU 001-999-853-1000 MALAYSIA 001-999-60-1000/4000/ 4001 MALTA 001-999-356-1000 MEXICO 001-999-52-1000 NEPAL 001-800-977-1-9999 NETHERLANDS 001-999-31-1035 NEW ZEALAND 001-999-64-1066 PHILIPPINES 001-999-63-1000/ 3000/ 6000 PORTUGAL 001-999-351-1000 RUSSIA 001-999-7-1000 SINGAPORE 001-999-65-0000/ 2008 SOUTH AFRICA 001-999-27-1000 SPAIN 001-999-34-1066 TAIWAN 001-999-886-1000 U.A.E. 001-999-971-1000 U.K. 001-999-44-1066 U.S.A. 001-999-1-1111/ 2001/ 2002 Thanks to the staff at CAT in Hua Hin for providing the above numbers.

FREE AND CHEAP CALLS If your mobile phone or device and that of the person you are calling supports it, you can use a number of apps to make free calls anywhere, with the best known being Skype and Viber.

The mobile phone operators offer special numbers to prefix an international number to get cheap rate international calls. More information call True 1331 AIS 1175 DTAC 1678

Police 191 Crime 195 Fire 199 Traffic Control Centre 197 Highway Police 1193 Tourist Police 1699 Tourist Service Centre 1155 Missing Persons 02 282 1815 Police Station 032 511 027 Tourist Police 032 516 219 Cha-Am Police 032 471 321 Bangkok Hospital 1719 Hua Hin Hospital 032 511 743 San Paulo Hospital 032 532 576 to 585 Red Cross 032 512 567 Municipality 032 532433 Tessabahn 032 511 047 Immigration 032 520 617 Bus Terminal (non air-con) 032 511 230 (air-con) 032 511654, 512543 Railway Station 032 511 073 Tourist Information 032 513 885 Electricity Office 032 512 215 Electricity Call Centre 1129 Water Office 032 511 677 TOT 032 519 000/001 TOT Call Centre 1100 TT&T 032 532 018 3BB 032-900020-1, 086-0127273 3BB Call Centre 1530 CAT 032 511 350 Alcoholics Anonymous 0870 620 098 Narcotics Anonymous 084 314 1928

EXCHANGE RATES (10-5-17)

CURRENCY BAHT Algerian Dinar 0.318 Argentine Peso 2.24 Australian Dollar 25.6 Bitcoin 60166 Brazilian Real 10.9 British Pound 45 Bulgarian Lev 19.3 Canadian Dollar 25.4 Chilean Peso 0.0512 Chinese Yuan 5.03 Croatian Kuna 5.13 Czech Koruna 1.42 Danish Krone 5.09 Egyptian Pound 1.92 Ethereum 3030 Euro 37.9 Hong Kong Dollar 4.46 Hungarian Forint 0.121 Iceland Krona 0.328 Indian Rupee 0.537 Indonesian Rupiah 0.0026 Iranian Rial 0.0011 Israeli New Shekel 9.65 Japanese Yen 0.305 Korean Won 0.0307 Malaysian Ringgit 8 Mexican Peso 1.81 New Zealand Dollar 24 Nigerian Naira 0.11 Norwegian Krone 4 Pakistan Rupee 0.332 Philippine Peso 0.696 Polish Zloty 8.94 Qatari Rial 9.54 Romanian Leu 8.33 Russian Ruble 0.597 Saudi Riyal 9.26 Serbian Dinar 0.309 Singapore Dollar 24.6 South African Rand 2.56 LOCAL CONSULAR Sri Lanka Rupee 0.228 REPRESENTATIVES Swedish Krona 3.92 Swiss Franc 34.5 CANADIAN Taiwan Dollar 1.15 Rick Pomerleau 087 153 3817 or e-mail Turkish Lira 9.59 rickpomerleau@hotmail.com UAE Dirham

9.46 FINNISH US Dollar 34.7 Mr. Sipi Siljamaeki 087-911 8119 or e-mail: Ukraine Hryvnia 1.31 suthiporn.siljamaki@gmail.com

AMERICAN

Mr. Christopher Byrd 081-173 4469 or e-mail: AWOL makes no warranties, express or implied, chrs@tourdeasia.org regarding these rates and shall not be liable for any losses or damages incurred in connection with them.

BALLOON CHASERS

••

Parties, special deals, regular events, celebrations and more; SUNSET BOULEVARD, KHAO TAKIAB; All video, home to get it in AWOL email submissions@awolonline.net or post made fun pub quiz. Third Tuesday of every month (next one it on our Balloon Chasers facebook group. is on Tuesday 16th May,). 10 rounds including 2 audio visual and 2 table rounds. There is limited space so early bookings are RECENTLY ADDED AND COMING SOON strongly recommended. Call Mike 084 3769438 for more info DOUBLE D, SOI 6; Friday 19th May from 8pm, DD presents and for bookings. Sunset Boulevard is 150 metres past the Ibis Tony Lans (founder of Tumbleweed) for an evening of live hotel going south on the Takiap Road.

TK ROADHOUSE, KHAO TAKIAB; First Tuesday of every music. All welcome, free entry (see ad p3) month ‘The Best Quiz In Town’! 8 rounds, beer questions, free PIT’S CAFE, DUSITLAND 8, SOI 94; Happy hour from 12.00 Cottage Pie and bread.

To 6.00, draught leo 50bht per glass. Lunch by our new chef starting at 12.00 O’clock.

BRITISH STYLE SUNDAY ROASTS: SIAM HANDLEBAR, PHETKASEM ROAD (OPP. AIRPORT); Draught Chang Buy one, get one free from 5 - 10pm Andreanna’s, Khao Takiab NANY’S CAFE, SOI 88; Friday special - Fish ,chips and mushy Bobby’s Bar, Soi 102 peas 139 bt, Atlantic cod fillet chips and mushy peas 220 bt. Father Teds, Damnoernkasem Road Also Leo draft now available small(half) 55 bt, large(pint) 75 bt Hua Hin Miss You, Soi 80 TOON’S BAR AND RESTAURANT, SOI 6, BORFAI; Now Jungle Juice, Soi Selekam open every day from 3pm serving a wide range of Thai and Mucky Duck, Bonkai (Soi 88) Western food until 9pm, and great prices all day every day on Nany’s Cafe, Soi 88 drinks until late Nit’s Kitchen, Soi 94 EL MURPHY’S, SOI SELEKAM; Murfs Happy Times from Orchid Restaurant 94, Soi 94 7am to 7pm Pints of: Guinness 189 bt, Old Speckled Hen 210 Palm Bistro, Soi 88 (032 828144) bt, Magners and Stowfor cider 180 bt. All day Chang and Leo Seajays Resort, off Pala-U Road. 083 311 1787 Large 90 bt, small 49 bt.

Sunset Boulevard, Khao Takiab Bookings only 084 376 9438 Ye Olde Buffalo Tavern, Chomsin Rd REGULAR EVENTS Zab Wer, Soi 112.

BOBBY’S BAR, SOI 102.; The 99 baht breakfast is Back! FREE Sunday Roast - spend 200 baht and get a free Chicken or Pork Sunday Roast, spend an extra 80 baht and you can get Lamb.

Available from 12.30 to 6.30pm. All You Can Eat Fish & Chips every Friday from 5pm when spend 200 bt.

CHOCOLATE CAFE, SOI 102; Every Tuesday from 6.30 pm, free Thai and Western food buffet.

DOUBLE D, SOI 6; Happy Hour every day from 3 - 6pm - Samsong + mixer 40 baht, Wine 55 baht, San Miguel and Heineken 65 baht, small/large domestic beers 45/70 baht.

FATHER TEDS, DAMNOERNKASEM ROAD; Live music, special food and drink offers, draught Guinness, something happening every night! See add on p13 for details.

LA MAISON BLEU, PHETKASEM ROAD; Every Saturday from 7 to 10pm Live music by Susan and Larry.

PASSPORT CAFE, SAMORPHRONG; Now open for Breakfasts, Freshly baked bread, Daily Specials and more (see ad p9) RED PIANO, SOI KANJANOMAI; Happy Hour every day from 5 - 7pm buy one get one free.

SPOTS POOL BAR, SOI 88; Draft Singha and Leo just 65 baht.

THE PALM BISTRO, SOI 88; Join their Sunday Lunch Club and start earning a free Sunday Roast (see ad p3) UNCLE BRYN’S (2KM PAST PALM HILLS NORTH ALONG KLONG ROAD. TURN LEFT AND 200M ON LEFT.); Large Chang 55 baht, large Leo 58 baht. Open daily 7am-late. 085 405 6976 (T) 080 197 2072(E) PUB QUIZZES

KING BAR, SOI BINTHABAHT; Quiz second Monday of every month (next one Monday 12th June 2017 at 7.30 pm) .

Free entry, food and prizes - hosted by Hawk - all welcome.

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LOCAL SPORTS HUA HIN CITY F.C

Hua Hin City F. C. is the local professional team formed in 2011, playing their matches at the Takiab Stadium in Khao Takiab.

RESULTS SUNDAY 30TH APRIL 2017 Hua Hin City 0 - 1 Suphanburi B FIXTURES SATURDAY 6TH MAY 2017 Look Isan v Hua Hin City 16:00 THAI LEAGUE 4 WESTERN REGION TABLE

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Team Assumption United Suphanburi B Muangkan United BTU United Ratchaburi Mitr Phol B Look Isan IPE Samut Sakhon United Nonthaburi Hua Hin City Pathum Thani United

P 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10

GD +10 +13 +6 +4 −3 −2 −5 −3 −6 −14

PTS 23 23 20 17 14 12 12 12 6 1

MATCH REPORT: LOOK ISAN 1 - 0 VANA NAVA HUA HIN CITY This was the first away game of the ‘Under New Management’ era. Supporters were taking advantage of the new President’s generosity by using free transport, and travelling numbers were already up. Anticipation was high.

Following last week’s performance against high flyers Suphanburi (first game back after the New Year Break has always been shaky for Hua Hin), the general feeling was, ‘The only way is up.’

The players, management and supporters were welcomed to Bangkok with some huge claps of thunder, as if to announce Hua Hin City FC’s arrival. Fortunately, despite quite a spectacular electrical storm, with some very loud thunder, the rain didn’t come. However, playing conditions were very hot and muggy in the high Bangkok humidity.

Hua Hin started very brightly, and it became apparent early on that they’d put the woes of 6 days ago behind them. They had improved across the park i.e.: • Wichan was controlling his penalty area better than he had all season.

• The team used the full width of the pitch instead of just 75% as per last week.

• Man marking and passing was much improved.

On the down side: • Hua Hin did get themselves into trouble several times when playing the ball square in the defensive quarter, they made one pass too many.

• They did not threaten the opposition’s goal in numbers. They often had 5 outfield players in their own half while the opposition were defending with 9 or 10 players.

The goal, which came after about 80 minutes, all started with a lack of concentration

by Hua Hin. A free kick was wasted by Hua Hin, and the resulting counter attack led to a free kick on the edge of the Hua Hin penalty area. That free kick went wide, without touching anybody. Strangely, the referee awarded a corner, and in the confusion Look Isan took the corner quickly, which was basically undefended – 1-0.

A couple of minutes later, Ali G had the perfect opportunity to equalise, when Hua Hin were awarded a penalty. Naturally, there was a lot of gamesmanship by the Look Isan keeper, who was gifted a simple save.

The rest is history, and to quote an old cliché, ‘We wuz robbed.’ Hua Hin can take a lot out of the game, which they didn’t deserve to lose. Hopefully they have turned a corner, but have a tough test against Muangkan next week at Takiab Stadium.

HASH HOUSE HARRIERS

A DRINKING CLUB WITH A RUNNING & WALKING PROBLEM! The Cha-Am and Hua Hin Hash House Google Map Link: https://goo.gl/maps/ drive 0.7 km and turn right then drive 150 m to car park on left.

Harrier Clubs meet alternate Saturdays k83WNd9Pxv52 for around an hour’s. run/walk in the GPS Coordinates: N 12.539105, E From Cha-Am using the bypass: surrounding countryside followed by 099.914969 (N 12 32.346, E 099 54.898) Google Map Link: https://goo.gl/maps/ j7erYBkZT4m a social gathering. lf you would like to DIRECTIONS to RUN SITE come along then visit our website www. From Hua Hin & Cha-Am via Phet Go to the Pala-U Road Flyover and h2h3-cah3.weebly.com or Facebook at Kasem Road: Google Map Link: https:// continue over heading south for a further 5.2 km then turn left onto Route 2043. www.facebook.com/H2H3CAH3 for full goo.gl/maps/ML3vT9G5aTH2 details and directions. Please note that Make your way to and turn into Soi 88 Drive 3.2 km to new traffic light junction. people attending and participating do so and then head west towards the railway. Continue over and drive 1.1 km and at T entirely at their own risk.

Negotiate the new roundabout system junction keep right and drive a further NEXT RUN -SATURDAY 13TH MAY and exit right and continue on Soi 88/ 0.4 km and turn left drive 150 m to car 2017 MEETING @ 4:30 PM FOR A 5:00 Route 2043 for 6.6 km to T junction. park on left PM START. Turn left and drive 400 m, turn left and Any queries then please call Bushwhacker Hua Hin House Harriers (H2H3) Run on 083 188 6641 drive 150 m to car park on left. #358 From Phetkasem Road via Soi 112: Hash Tax: Male Drinkers ฿200, Female Hares: Bushwhacker & Master Baker Google Map Link: https://goo.gl/maps/ Drinkers ฿150, Teetotalers ฿100, kids Hash Snacks: Pussy Galore ฿50, under 8’s Free). Your effort to bring eZBT63mapZF2 Tax Collector: Butt Out Make your way on Soi 112 and drive 3.6 the CORRECT change would be very LOCATION: Near Whitestone Villas km and turn right. Continue on this road much appreciated. for 2.9 km to T junction Turn right and

LOCAL GOLF BUTTERFLY ROCK GOLF SOCIETY

HUA HIN GOLF SOCIETY

RESULTS RESULTS 9TH MAY 2017 8TH MAY 2017 Majestic A - B Stableford 25 entered Lake View AB Stableford and Skins 10 1st Adrian Legget 42 pts (10) entered 2nd Anna Sjogren 41 pts (16) 1st Dana Lilja 35 pts (09) 3rd Neung Chueanil 41 pts (07) 2nd Mark Simpson 34 pts (16) 4th Robert Bird 38 pts (16) 3rd Peter Hayes 33 pts (11)

4th Andrew Satterley 32 pts (16) FIXTURES

16th May 2017 Palm Hills 4 Ball Scramble FIXTURES – Chosen Teams 15th May 2017 Lake View A&B Stableford 19th May 2017 Lake View Stableford & 17th May 2017 Banyan Stableford Eclectic RONNIE’S ROLL UP

Held every Friday at Palm Hills. Please contact Ronnie on 0811 942 556 if you are interested in joining in, and thanks to Ronnie for the results.

5TH MAY 2017 ? players Front 9 - Paul Richardson (18) 21 points Back 9 - Paul Richardson (18) 17 points Overall - Paul Richardson (18) 38 points

LAKE VIEW MEMBERS CLUB

RESULTS 5TH MAY 2017 Rained Off 8TH MAY 2017 Course AB (Joined with LVGS members) 1st Gary Engelman (12) 41pts 2nd John Anstee (22) 37pts 3rd Rick Lunstrum (17) 34pts.

4th Mick Court (18) 33pts

SAENSUK GOLF SOCIETY

RESULTS 8TH MAY 2017 Springfield Royal Country Club Splinter Cell Stableford 12 entered 1st Sven-Otto Grahn 33 pts (19) 2nd Roy Sweetland 33 pts (07) 3rd Kjell Karlsson 31 pts (20) 4th David Morris 31 pts (20) 3RD MAY 2017 Majestic Creek Resort Individual Stableford 37 entered 1st Richard Law 40 pts (14) 2nd Didier Pain 39 pts (20) 3rd David Morris 38 pts (20) 4th Freddie Larsson 37 pts (09)

FIXTURES Monday/Friday Springfield Splinter Cell Stableford 17th May 2017 Black Mountain

FIXTURES Lake View every Monday, Wednesday, Friday CHA AM GOLF CLUB

Contact: secretary@chaamgolfclub.com FIXTURES No fixtures currently listed.

HUA HIN DARTS LEAGUE

RESULTS WEEK 2 9TH MAY 2017 Jungle Juice v Miss You n/a Pinky Bar v Blue Lagoon n/a CAT Jiggapik - no game LEAGUE TABLE Team Jungle Juice Miss You Pinky Bar CAT Karaoke Blue Lagoon

P 1 1 1 1 0

W 1 0 0 0 0

D 0 1 1 0 0

L F A Pts 0 10 8 2 0 8 8 0 0 8 8 0 1 8 10 0 0 0 0 0

FIXTURES WEEK 3 16TH MAY 2017 Blue Lagoon v Jungle Juice CAT Karaoke v Miss You Pinky Bar - no game

CROSSWORD SOLUTION

Here is last week’s Crossword solution.

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POOL LEAGUES THURSDAY FRIENDLY POOL LEAGUE

HUA HIN KHAO TAKIAB COOL POOL LEAGUE

RESULTS WEEK 8 4TH MAY 2017 Bar 80 Saloon 11 - 9 MasterCues Bar Hua Hin Bar 6 - 14 Dara Bar Jaew Bar 8 - 12 Squealing Pig Mint Bar 11 - 9 Connections Cafe Mr Dan’s 5 - 15 Komhom Bar Nalee Bar 13 - 7 Coopers 94 The Clansmen 10 - 10 Big Kahuna

RESULTS WEEK 15 5TH MAY 2017 Cheeky Monkey 7 - 16 TK Roadhouse Clansmen 16 - 7 Muan Bar JNB 13 - 10 Exotic Bar Take 5 Sports Bar 11 - 12 Jungle Juice The Connection 14 - 9 Fin Bar Waring Bar 16 - 7 High Five

FIXTURES WEEK 10 18TH MAY 2017 Big Kahuna v Hua Hin Bar Coopers 94 v Jaew Bar Dara Bar v Komhom Bar Mint Bar v Mr Dan’s Nalee Bar v Bar 80 Saloon Squealing Pig v MasterCues Bar The Clansmen v Connections Cafe

Team Jungle Juice The Connection TK Roadhouse Clansmen Cheeky Monkey Take 5 Muan Bar Fin Bar Waring Bar Exotic Bar JNB High Five

LEAGUE TABLE Team The Clansmen Dara Bar MasterCues Bar Komhom Bar Bar 80 Saloon Coopers 94 Big Kahuna Connections Hua Hin Bar Mint Bar Squealing Pig Nalee Bar Jaew Bar Mr Dan’s

P W D L +/- Pts 8 6 2 0 62 125 8 7 0 1 24 106 7 4 2 1 32 96 7 4 3 0 30 96 8 4 0 4 4 90 8 2 3 3 2 88 7 3 2 2 6 81 7 2 1 4 10 80 8 2 1 5 -14 78 7 3 1 3 -8 73 8 2 1 5 -24 73 7 3 0 4 -12 70 7 1 0 6 -54 45 7 1 0 6 -58 43

LEAGUE TABLE P 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13

W 13 10 11 9 9 6 6 4 5 1 2 2

D 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0

L 0 3 2 4 4 7 7 9 8 12 11 11

+/95 67 63 47 33 -9 -17 -19 -19 -63 -87 -91

Pts 197 183 181 173 166 145 141 140 140 118 106 104

FIXTURES WEEK 17 19TH MAY 2017 Cheeky Monkey v Take 5 Sports Bar JNB v Fin Bar Jungle Juice v Clansmen Muan Bar v Exotic Bar The Connection v High Five Waring Bar v TK Roadhouse

FIXTURES WEEK 17 16TH MAY 2017 Coopers Bar v Naree Bar Home Bar v Le Kiss Bar Star Bar v Soda Bar Tores Bar v Komhom Restaurant Connections Cafe - no game

LEAGUE TABLE Team Home Bar Coopers Bar Komhom Connections Tores Bar Naree Bar Le Kiss Bar Soda Bar Star Bar

P 15 15 15 16 15 15 15 15 15

W 12 12 9 8 6 6 6 2 1

Hua Hin’s only pool bar with FOUR 9’ tables Ask about our drinks specials and other special offers Contact Andy on 086 178 1550 Email: aknabe@gmx.net 27/3 Poolsuk Road, Hua Hin HUA HIN POOL BILLIARD LEAGUE

RESULTS CUP DAY 2 5TH MAY 2017 9 Humping Pig 6 - 2 Pits Pirates 10 Lucky Shot B 2 - 6 Mucky Duck 11 Lucky Shot A 0 - 8 Pits Rangers 12 Spots Pool Bar 2 5 - 3 Home Bar LEAGUE TABLE Team Humping Pig Mucky Duck Pits Rangers Lucky Shot A Pits Pirates Spots Pool Bar 1 Home Bar Lucky Shot B Breeze Bar Spots Pool Bar 2 Master Cues Coopers 94

P 22 22 22 22 22 22 22 22 22 22 22 22

W 20 15 16 13 10 12 9 6 6 3 3 1

D 1 5 2 5 7 2 4 3 3 2 2 0

L 1 2 4 4 5 8 9 13 13 17 17 21

+/82 74 68 40 38 32 -10 -18 -42 -58 -100 -106

Pts 41 35 34 31 27 26 22 15 15 8 8 2

FIXTURES The regular season is over.

Congratulations to Humping Pig for winning the league. Details of the new season will appear here when available.

SOI 94 TUESDAY POOL LEAGUE

RESULTS WEEK 16 9TH MAY 2017 Connections Cafe 9 - 9 Tores Bar Coopers Bar 13 - 5 Star Bar Home Bar 15 - 3 Soda Bar Le Kiss Bar 9 - 9 Naree Bar Komhom - no game

LUCKY SHOT BAR

D L 2 1 1 2 2 4 2 6 2 7 2 7 1 8 0 13 0 14

+/76 84 38 26 -2 -6 -40 -88 -88

Pts 38 37 29 26 20 20 19 6 3

CUP DAY3 12TH MAY 2017 13 Pits Rangers v Mucky Duck 14 Spots Pool Bar 2 v Humping Pig CUP FINAL 19TH MAY 2017 Spots Pool Bar 2/Humping Pig v Pits Rangers/Mucky Duck

POOL LEAGUES HUA HIN SOCIAL POOL LEAGUE

HUA HIN SOI 80 TUESDAY POOL LEAGUE

RESULTS RESULTS Week 26 matches postponed to following WEEK 23 9TH MAY 2017 Eagle Bar 2 v Dream Bar n/a week due to Buddhist holiday Fin Bar v Hua Hin Bar 2 n/a FIXTURES Hua Hin Bar v Bar 80 Saloon n/a WEEK 26 17TH MAY 2017 Hut Bar v Eagle Bar n/a All Nations GH v Tiger Bar Mint Bar v Miss U Bar n/a Bentho Bar v Pink Panther Night Owl Bar v Mona Bar n/a Booz Bar v Jungle Juice A The Clansmen v Exotic Bar n/a C 69 v N & G Easy Bar - no game JW Black v JW Red King Bar v Limelight FIXTURES WEEK 24 16TH MAY 2017 Jungle Juice B - No game Bar 80 Saloon v Hut Bar LEAGUE TABLE Eagle Bar v Night Owl Bar Team P W L +/- Pts Easy Bar v Eagle Bar 2 Limelight 23 20 3 95 40 Hua Hin Bar 2 v Hua Hin Bar King Bar 22 18 4 72 36 Mona Bar v Mint Bar Jungle Juice A 22 16 6 82 32 The Clansmen v Fin Bar Bentho Bar 22 14 8 34 28 Exotic Bar & Miss U Bar - no game Jungle Juice B Tiger Bar Pink Panther N&G JW Red All Nations GH C 69 JW Black Booz Bar

24 23 23 23 22 23 21 22 22

14 13 11 9 9 9 7 3 3

10 10 12 14 13 14 14 19 19

0 29 -23 -11 -14 -33 -37 -78 -116

28 26 22 18 18 18 14 6 6

RESULTS No matches this week FIXTURES WEEK 19 17TH MAY 2017 Cheeky Monkey v BRGC@Bar80 Cross Eyed Duck v Kom Hom Bar Infinity Bar v Sabai Bar Jaew Bar v Home Bar Lucky Shot v Pits Cafe 2 Pits Cafe 1 v Coopers 94 Spots v Sabai Sabai Restaurant The Breeze v Big Kahuna LEAGUE TABLE

LEAGUE TABLE Team Fin Bar Exotic Bar The Clansmen Night Owl Bar Hua Hin Bar 2 Bar 80 Saloon Mint Bar Miss U Bar Hua Hin Bar Eagle Bar 2 Easy Bar Eagle Bar Hut Bar Mona Bar

P 20 20 18 19 18 19 19 20 19 20 19 19 19 19

W 16 14 11 11 11 8 7 7 6 7 6 6 5 4

D 1 2 4 3 2 3 3 1 4 1 3 1 2 0

L 3 4 3 5 5 8 9 12 9 12 10 12 12 15

+/118 81 54 20 37 -8 -30 -20 -22 -40 -20 -38 -40 -92

HUA HIN WEDNESDAY POOL LEAGUE

Pts 49 44 37 36 35 27 24 22 22 22 21 19 17 12

Team Pits Cafe 1 Lucky Shot Cross Eyed Duck Home Bar Big Kahuna Spots Infinity Bar BRGC@Bar80 Cheeky Monkey Sabai Bar Kom Hom Bar Coopers 94 Pits Cafe 2 The Breeze Jaew Bar Sabai Sabai

P 17 17 17 17 17 17 17 17 17 17 17 17 17 18 18 17

W 17 14 13 13 12 10 9 9 8 7 6 6 4 4 3 2

D 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0

L 0 3 4 4 5 7 8 8 9 10 11 11 13 14 15 15

+/135 123 97 63 51 17 -1 -31 -33 -9 -23 -39 -59 -112 -104 -75

Pts 34 28 26 26 24 20 18 18 16 14 12 12 8 8 6 4

P 12 12 11 11 11 11 11 12 11 12 11 11

W 11 8 8 8 5 4 4 4 4 2 1 1

D 1 2 1 0 1 2 2 1 0 3 3 0

L 0 2 2 3 5 5 5 7 7 7 7 10

+/- Pts 78 23 32 18 26 17 53 16 -8 11 -3 10 -16 10 -18 9 -24 8 -28 7 -30 5 -62 2

Dream Bar have left the league

FRIENDS OF HUA HIN WEDNESDAY POOL LEAGUE

RESULTS WEEK 12 10TH MAY 2017 Bobby’s Bangers v High Five Bar Bob’s TK Bar v Muan Bar Breeze Bar v Dara’s Bar Sunset Boulevard 9 - 11 Bobby’s Beauties T.K. Roadhouse 10 - 10 Master Cues Tik’s Bar v Mucky Duck

FIXTURES WEEK 13 17TH MAY 2017 Bobby’s Beauties v T.K. Roadhouse Dara’s Bar v Tik’s Bar High Five Bar v Breeze Bar Master Cues v Bobby’s Bangers Muan Bar v Sunset Boulevard Mucky Duck v Bob’s TK Bar

LEAGUE TABLE Team Master Cues T.K. Roadhouse Mucky Duck Breeze Bar Dara’s Bar Bob’s TK Bar Tik’s Bar Bobby’s Beauties Muan Bar Sunset Boulevard Bobby’s Bangers High Five Bar

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POOL LEAGUES

HUA HIN/KHAO TAKIAB LADIES POOL LEAGUE

HUA HIN STAR POOL LEAGUE

HUA HIN KHAO TAKIAB SUPER POOL LEAGUE

RESULTS WEEK 13 8TH MAY 2017 Aonzy v Jungle Juice n/a Derrick B 3 - 7 Korn P Bom P 5 - 1 Derek M Cross Eyes Duck v The Squealing Pig n/a Darren D 5 - 2 Axel X Dara Bar v Sunset Boulevard n/a Gent T 4 - 7 Peter J Hampi L 7 - 5 Brian N Marko W 5 - 2 Mario E Jaew Bar v Tore’s Bar n/a Paul B 5 - 3 Dang W Job S 7 - 5 Pek K Master Cue v Kom Hom n/a Kwan K 5 - 7 Andy K Paul G 5 - 2 Mark L Shawn C 5 - 1 Michel C Pit’s Cafe v Muan Bar n/a Prj P 6 - 7 Lieven P The Connection v High Five n/a Thong P 2 - 7 Tong YN Steve R 5 - 3 Phil D

RESULTS WEEK 1 4TH MAY Bobby’s Birds 10 - 11 Mucky Duck Cheeky Monkey 13 - 8 Home Drink & Shelter 11 - 10 Arilds Bar Fin Bar 15 - 6 Ba Na Na Bar High Five 15 - 6 Hut Bar Le Kiss Bar 13 - 8 The Dream Muan Bar 17 - 4 Bobby’s Boys Star Bar 7 - 14 Lanla Bar Tap House Bar 9 - 12 Pits Cafe Tiki Bar 18 - 3 Rin Bar

RESULTS WEEK 14 7TH MAY 2017 DIVISION 2 DIVISION 1

Tim W 7 - 1 Brian C

Hung J v Cha E n/a

FIXTURES WEEK 3 18TH MAY 2017 Arilds Bar v Fin Bar Ba Na Na Bar v Muan Bar Bobby’s Birds v Drink & Shelter Home v Le Kiss Bar Hut Bar v Tap House Bar Mucky Duck v Lanla Bar Pits Cafe v Bobby’s Boys Rin Bar v High Five The Dream v Star Bar Tiki Bar v Cheeky Monkey

Derrick B v Prj P Hampi L v Job S Kwan K v Brian N Tim W v Gent T Andy K v Korn P Tong YN v Brian C Pek K v Thong P Peter J v Lieven P

Darren D v Cha E Paul G v Hung J Derek M v Axel X Phil D v Bom P Marko W v Shawn C Michel C v Mark L Mario E v Dang W Steve R v Paul B

LEAGUE TABLES DIVISION 1

LEAGUE TABLE Team Tiki Bar Muan Bar Fin Bar High Five Lanla Bar Cheeky Monkey Le Kiss Bar Pits Cafe Drink & Shelter Mucky Duck Arilds Bar Bobby’s Birds Tap House Bar Home The Dream Star Bar Ba Na Na Bar Hut Bar Bobby’s Boys Rin Bar

P 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1

W 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0

L 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1

+/15 13 9 9 7 5 5 3 1 1 -1 -1 -3 -5 -5 -7 -9 -9 -13 -15

FIXTURES WEEK 14 15TH MAY 2017 Aonzy v High Five Clansmen v Kom Hom Dara Bar v Master Cue Jungle Juice v Sunset Boulevard Pit’s Cafe v Jaew Bar The Connection v Tore’s Bar The Squealing Pig v Muan Bar

FIXTURES WEEK 15 14TH MAY 2017 DIVISION 2 DIVISION 1

Pts 18 17 15 15 14 13 13 12 11 11 10 10 9 8 8 7 6 6 4 3

LEAGUE TABLE

DIVISION 2

Player

P +/- Pts Player

P +/- Pts

Tong YN Kwan K Korn P Job S Peter J Brian N Andy K Pek K Derrick B Lieven P Thong P Hampi L Prj P Gent T Brian C Tim W

14 14 14 14 14 14 14 14 14 14 14 14 14 14 14 14

14 14 14 14 14 14 13 14 14 13 14 14 14 14 14 14

38 31 20 11 10 10 8 5 4 1 -1 -10 -12 -28 -46 -41

26 20 20 18 18 18 16 16 14 14 12 10 8 6 6 2

Paul G Dang W Paul B Phil D Bom P Marko W Hung J Darren D Steve R Cha E Shawn C Mark L Axel X Mario E Michel C Derek M

29 32 21 20 9 5 5 -1 -5 -3 -11 -13 -16 -13 -32 -27

24 22 22 18 16 16 16 14 14 12 10 10 10 8 6 4

Team Muan Bar Jungle Juice The Connection Master Cue Sunset Boulevard Kom Hom Dara Bar Tore’s Bar Pit’s Cafe Clansmen Jaew Bar Squealing Pig High Five Aonzy

P 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 11 12 11

W 10 9 9 8 7 6 6 3 4 3 3 3 1 0

D L +/1 1 66 2 1 52 1 2 48 3 1 46 3 2 26 3 3 34 2 4 10 2 7 -4 0 8 -36 1 8 -6 1 8 -36 1 7 -48 1 10 -78 1 10 -74

Pts 21 20 19 19 17 15 14 8 8 7 7 7 3 1

102 & 88 SATURDAY POOL LEAGUE

RESULTS WEEK 3 6TH MAY 2017 Mucky Duck 8 - 10 Bobby’s Bar Silver Fox 12 - 6 Master Ques LEAGUE TABLE Team Bobby’s Bar Mucky Duck Silver Fox Master Ques

P W D L 3 3 0 0 3 2 0 1 3 1 0 2 3 0 0 3

FIXTURES WEEK 4 13TH MAY 2017 Bobby’s Bar v Master Ques Silver Fox v Mucky Duck

+/8 2 0 -10

Pts 31 28 27 22

Affordable Health Insurance from 50 baht per day with thai-health.com Contact andreas@thai-health.com FIXTURES

ENGLISH PREMIER LEAGUE TABLE

(all times Thailand)

FRIDAY 12TH MAY 2017 CHAMPIONSHIP Fulham v Reading 23:30 SATURDAY 13TH MAY 2017 PREMIER LEAGUE Everton v Watford 01:45 West Bromwich Albion v Chelsea 02:00 Manchester City v Leicester City 18:30 Bournemouth v Burnley 21:00 Middlesbrough v Southampton 21:00 Sunderland v Swansea City 21:00 Stoke City v Arsenal 23:30 SCOTTISH PREMIERSHIP Aberdeen v Celtic 01:45 Rangers v Heart of Midlothian 18:15 Dundee v Ross County 21:00 Hamilton Acad. v Motherwell 21:00 Kilmarnock v Inverness Cal. Th. 21:00 St Johnstone v Partick Thistle 21:00 SCOTTISH PREMIERSHIP - PLAYOFF QUARTER-FINAL Dundee Utd v Greenock Morton 01:45 SUNDAY 14TH MAY 2017 PREMIER LEAGUE Crystal Palace v Hull City 18:00 West Ham United v Liverpool 20:15 Spurs v Manchester Utd 22:30 CHAMPIONSHIP Hudd’field Town v Sheffield Weds. 18:00 TUESDAY 16TH MAY 2017 PREMIER LEAGUE Chelsea v Watford 02:00 WEDNESDAY 17TH MAY 2017 PREMIER LEAGUE Arsenal v Sunderland 01:45 Manchester City v West Brom. 02:00 SCOTTISH PREMIERSHIP Motherwell v Kilmarnock 01:45 Ross County v Hamilton Acad. 01:45 CHAMPIONSHIP Reading v Fulham 01:45 THURSDAY 18TH MAY 2017 PREMIER LEAGUE Southampton v Manchester Utd 01:45 CHAMPIONSHIP Sheffield Weds v Hudd’field Town 01:45 SCOTTISH PREMIERSHIP Dundee v Inverness Cal. Th. 01:45 Rangers v Aberdeen 01:45 St Johnstone v Hearts 01:45

FOOTBALL

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20

Team Chelsea Tottenham Liverpool Man City Man Utd Arsenal Everton West Brom Leicester Southampton Bournemouth West Ham Stoke Burnley Watford Crystal Palace Swansea Hull Middlesbrough Sunderland

P 35 35 36 35 35 34 36 35 35 34 36 36 36 36 35 36 36 36 36 35

GD PTS 46 84 48 77 29 70 33 69 24 65 24 63 19 58 -4 45 -9 43 -5 42 -13 42 -14 42 -13 41 -14 40 -21 40 -15 38 -28 35 -33 34 -22 28 -32 24

Tables do not include the result of the Southampton v Arsenal match

FRIDAY 19TH MAY 2017 PREMIER LEAGUE Leicester City v Spurs 01:45 SCOTTISH PREMIERSHIP Partick Thistle v Celtic 01:45

FANTASY PREMIER LEAGUE - AWOL CHALLENGE

Team GW TOT 1 Colonial 61 2078 2 Custom Cobblers 34 2028 (200m on right after52railway) 3 Soi 102, Mr. Hua ChaHin Aming 1989 4 FC ROCA 51 1958 5 Dannycollinz 54 1913 6 Lost Cafe 39 1899 7 The Dada Donkeys 30 1884 8 Frankies 11 56 1851 9 Atletico Pathetico 61 1830 10 jamboshuahin 66 1788 11= Rentmythaivilla 35 1750 11= JR BRUTD S.C 35 1750 13 Waste Of Money 49 1742 14 Portsmouth City FC 67 1682 15 Pink Panther AFC 20 1679 16 Hua Hin Jambos 26 1678 17 Doghill Growlers 32 1636 18 Wanderlust United 29 1635 19 Stenhousemuir 47 1602 20 AWOL Wanderers 41 1509 21 Nuo_divers 44 1498 22 Dans Demons 37 1479 23 shortimeagain 30 1428 FEATURED GAME

SUNDAY 14TH MAY 2017 PREMIER LEAGUE Crystal Palace v Hull City 18:00 If Swansea have won the day before against Sunderland, a win for Hull here means that the three teams will be seperated by one point going into the last day of the season, while a win for Palace makes them and Swansea safe, a draw only Palace. A massive game and we have a feeling that Hull will sneak this, setting up a nailbiting last day.

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RUN FOR YOUR LIFE ••

TORIES PROPOSE BANNING LONDON MARATHON AFTER STRONG RUNNER HELPED WEAK RUNNER

UK Prime Minister Theresa May has called for the London marathon to be banned after the scenes last month of a strong athlete helping a weak athlete in an outrageous display of asphalt-based socialism.

Swansea Harrier, Matthew Rees, was heading for a Personal Best when he was deliberately held back by weaker competitor, David Wyeth, who clearly hadn’t put in the necessary hard work.

Feckless runner, Wyeth, was clearly outof-breath but could be seen clinging to the fitter athlete in a sad parallel of Britain’s comprehensive education system.

Do-gooder, Rees, said, “Natural selection just goes out of the window when you see a fellow runner struggling through no fault of his own.”

Meanwhile, BBC footage of the two crossing the line together in a homoerotic embrace was slammed as filthy leftist

Above: Corbynites Rees and Wyeth doing their best to undermine the very fabric of British society, according to Theresa May

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propaganda.

Tory Party spokesman, Simon Williams, said, “The London Marathon has become a flagship for the levelling of standards and coming to someone’s aid before they collapse and die of exhaustion.

“What Mr Rees did goes against Conservative values and the kind of athlete-eats-athlete society we want to create.

“Far better to leave the weak runner on the road, being attended to by paramedics, where he can contemplate the reasons for his failure.”

Last night, the Prime Minister announced a Tory manifesto proposal to either ban the race altogether or give fitter athletes a thirty-minute head-start.

Williams added, “Crossing the line together like that is how the Khmer Rouge got started. The Brownlee brothers need to take note as well.”

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