AWOL Issue 428

FOR THE EXPAT IN ALL OF US! ISSUE 428 19th May 2017

ABSENT WITH OUT LEAVE IN THE LAND OF SMILES

FREE

EVERY FRIDAY SINCE 2008

the original and best!

GET RACING FROM ONLY 400 BAHT! OPEN EVERYDAY 10.30AM - 7PM

Call 032 547 199 (Office) or 081 817 3000 (Mobile) Located on Soi 2, Phetchkasem Road opposite Hua Hin Airport

www.gokarthuahin.com info@gokarthuahin.com

Victor’s

open 24/7

Wide range of rooms in the heart of Hua Hin a/c, lcd tv, dvd player, fridge, free premium wifi, cable TV victorguesthouse@gmail.com 032 511564 60 Naresdamri Road, Hua Hin

P A N AMA BAR

Good Times Every Night A DJ To Save Your Life

selling it

major changes to the awol classifieds

•There • is no denying that the current low season, and the couple of years preceding it, have been among hua hin

the most difficult and lean times the town has seen since it became a major tourist destination, with many businesses struggling to survive, as tourism spending drops, and many expats returning to their home countries, while many who remain have had to tighten the purse strings, largely because of the continuing strength of the Thai baht, and rising prices.

It is only possible to produce AWOL every week by virtue of our advertisers, most of whom, over the nearly nine years we have been publishing, have benefited from the exposure in the paper. This not only applies to businesses, but also the individuals who have used the classifieds, both free and paid, that have been a part of AWOL since day one, and we thank one and all for their support.

As a result of current conditions, we have looked at ways to both maintain our offer of affordable advertising for all, while generating enough income to keep AWOL a viable concern, and our attention has now turned to the Classifieds; we have made a hard decision to end the free ads, and tried to rebalance this by reducing the prices we were charging for certain categories, and applying this price across the board. This change effectively represents a 70% drop against the prices we previously charged, as the standard Single ad price is now 300 baht for a 13 week run. We have also introduced new multi ad subscription packages, which reduce this price to between 50 and 100 baht per ad, as well as the option of Featured ads for an additional fee. Other minor changes have also been made, and you can find full details of the new deals on the Classifieds pages (14 and 15), and on the website (www.awolonline.net/ classifieds). Please also email us on classifieds@awolonline.net with any comments.

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local listings

Affordable Health Insurance from 50 baht per day with thai-health.com Contact andreas@thai-health.com

Contact AWOL Telephone: Bars & Pubs

Double D Father Teds Lucky Shot Panama Bar Pit’s Cafe

Property

Hot Property Lucky Real Estate Spencers Prop. Services sports & leisure

Bridge Club Hua Hin Go Kart Hua Hin Hua Hin City FC

Services & other

Legal Services Hua Hin Self Storage Siam Consulting thai-health.com

Tel.

080 652 0531 081 717 7496 086 178 1550 084 729 5030 Tel.

032 533 533 082 298 0500 091 871 0128 Tel.

see Bazaar 032 547 199 Tel.

084 881 8396 092 927 7207 032 512 075

accommodation

All Nations Guesthouse Victor Guesthouse

Tel.

032 512 747 032 511 564

Restaurants/Food

British Breakfast Foods Buffalo Tavern Dizzy Dolphin Hua Hin Ham & Bacon Let’s Eat Nit’s Kitchen Passport Cafe Pork Pies Hua Hin The Palm Bistro Toon’s Bar & Restaurant

Tel.

087 155 7737 032 530 087 032 513 144 082 294 5602 081 820 2309 093 139 9655 098 897 2492 032 828 144 086 524 1132

081 649 8361 (Eng) or 081 614 8728 (Thai) Office:

136/229 Emerald Hill, Soi 6, Borfai, Hua Hin, 77110, Prachuap Kiri Khan email:

info@awolonline.net Website:

www.awolonline.net Facebook:

AWOLexpat Twitter:

awolhuahin

New Management New Staff OPEN NOW

Located in Samorphrong Turn right before the 7-11 & we are 200 m up on the right Tel. 091 407 6854 Fresh Pies Every Day

We make these pies fresh every day or to order: Pork, Gala*, Cheese/Onion, Minced Beef/Onion, Steak, Chicken/Leek, Chicken/Mushroom, Meat/Potato, plus we also make Scotch Eggs and Sausage Rolls. *Gala Pies require a minimum 24 hours notice

More pies coming soon - please ask us for your favourite pie!

See photos and prices on Facebook or contact us Delivery available for 30 baht Please contact us for bulk order/business rates

Get your pies at Anna’s Pie Shop & Cafe on Soi 94, Open everyday 9am - 10pm Place orders by: Phone 098 897 2492 Email porkpieshuahin@gmail.com or Facebook britishporkpieshuahin

Affordable Health Insurance from 50 baht per day with thai-health.com Contact andreas@thai-health.com

AWOL WITH..

Join our Sunday Lunch Club and start earning your free Roast Dinner

Aom

Photos coutesy of Haribo

Looking for a new local bar to grab a beer in Samorphrong or Borfai?

Make Thip’s Bar or Double D your friendly regular place to meet others

Opening times Tuesday till Saturday 10.30 till 14.30, 17.30 till 21.00 Sunday 13.00 till 17.00 Tel. 032 828 144 Web: thepalmbistro.com thepalmbistro@gmail.com Located at Orchid Palm Homes 4 1043 Road, Tabtai, Hua Hin

Double D H H !3-6 Soi 6, Borfai, Hua Hin Tel. 080 652 0531

appy

our

Bar & Grill

Pool Table Open 3pm - Late

pm

Wine 55 baht San Miguel / Heineken 65 baht Sangsom + mixer 40 baht Domestic beers S 45 L 70 baht

LIVE SPORTS TV

BIG SCREEN SHOWING EPL, F1, RUGBY, GOLF, AUSSIE RULES etc

Located off the canal road; at the Soi 6 traffic lights go across the bridge over the canal & turn immediately right.

We are about 600 m further on the right, 100 m past the temple, directly behind the small brown Buddha house.

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weather & tides World weather (18-5-17)

Local Forecast AND TIDES

Rain (mm) Conditions Temp. °C Tides CITY Weather High H L 1st 2nd 3rd 4th °C SA 1 Cloudy; a shower 33 26 13:43 1.4m 17:56 2.3m - Amsterdam Drizzle 14 SU 2 Cloudy; a t-storm 33 26 02:44 1.6m 02:59 2.3m 13:47 1.4m 17:11 2.4m Ankara Scattered clouds 13 MO 5 Thunderstorm 34 27 03:02 1.5m 04:12 2.3m 13:54 1.4m 17:07 2.4m Athens Partly sunny 16 TU 6 Afternoon t-storms 34 27 03:34 1.4m 05:02 2.3m 14:01 1.4m 17:18 2.5m Auckland Cloudy 16 WE 6 Afternoon t-storms 34 27 04:10 1.3m 05:42 2.2m 14:07 1.4m 17:37 2.6m Beijing Overcast 31 TH 6 Afternoon t-storms 33 27 04:48 1.3m 06:16 2.2m 14:12 1.4m 18:00 2.6m Berlin Sunny 17 FR 9 Cloudy, showers 32 27 05:29 1.3m 06:43 2.1m 14:17 1.3m 18:25 2.7m Buenos Aires Clear 16 Cairo Sunny 23 Chicago Partly cloudy 26 thailand weather (18-5-17) Copenhagen Sunny 13 Dubai Passing clouds 33 Place Temp Hum Conditions Place Temp Hum Conditions Dublin Passing clouds 6 Nakhon Sawan 27 °C 91% Light Rain Aranyaprathet 34 °C 47% Overcast Helsinki Drizzle 9 Nan 25 °C 94% Light Rain Ban A To 25 °C 77% Ho Chi Minh City Thunderstorm 32 Nang Rong 31 °C 75% Scattered Clds Ban Baen Chado 34 °C 63% Partly Cldy Hong Kong Passing clouds 29 Narathiwat 32 °C 66% Scattered Clds Ban Bang Bamru 34 °C 63% Partly Cldy Islamabad Scattered clouds 27 Nong Khai 23 °C 99% Light Rain Ban Bang Duan 34 °C 63% Partly Cldy Istanbul Partly sunny 17 Pattani 29 °C 79% Overcast Ban Bua Chum 30 °C 77% Overcast Jakarta Partly sunny 33 Pattaya 31 °C 66% Partly Cldy Ban Fai Na 25 °C 89% Rain Jerusalem Sunny 23 Phayao 25 °C 83% Mostly Cldy Ban Hua Tho 34 °C 63% Partly Cldy Johannesburg Clear 6 Phetchabun 27 °C 85% Partly Cldy Ban Ko Thung 27 °C 82% Mist Karachi Partly sunny 31 Phetchaburi 32 °C 66% Scattered Clds Ban Krathing Lai 31 °C 66% Partly Cldy Kuala Lumpur Partly sunny 31 Phitsanulok 27 °C 79% Overcast Ban Na Si Nuan 30 °C 70% Mostly Cldy London Passing clouds 9 Phrae 26 °C 78% Overcast Ban Nong Pladuk 27 °C 79% Mostly Cldy Madrid Passing clouds 15 Phuket 25 °C 89% Rain Ban Samphan 31 °C 64% Mostly Cldy Manila Partly sunny 34 30 °C 76% Partly Cldy Bangkok 33 °C 63% Scattered Clds Prachin Buri Mexico City Partly cloudy 23 Prach. Khirikhan 29 °C 81% Overcast Chaiyaphum 27 °C 88% Light Rain Moscow Sunny 7 Ranong 31 °C 79% Mostly Cldy Chanthaburi 25 °C 95% T-storms Mumbai Passing clouds 32 Rayong 31 °C 66% Partly Cldy Chawang 29 °C 82% Partly Cldy New Delhi Overcast 32 28 °C 77% Partly Cldy Chiang Mai 30 °C 51% Scattered Clds Roi Et New York Clear 27 Samui 32 °C 70% Partly Cldy Chiang Rai 25 °C 83% Mostly Cldy Oslo Rain 12 Sattahip 32 °C 75% Partly Cldy Chok Chai 30 °C 69% Partly Cldy Paris Mostly cloudy 15 Satun 30 °C 73% Partly Cldy Chumphon 29 °C 79% Overcast Perth Sunny 23 Songkhla 32 °C 66% Partly Cldy Kam Paeng Phet 27 °C 81% Overcast Phnom-Penh Chance of a t-storm 34 Sukhothai 26 °C 89% Mostly Cldy Kamalasai 30 °C 70% Mostly Cldy Rio De Janeiro Partly cloudy 22 35 °C 40% Partly Cldy Kanchanaburi 32 °C 56% Scattered Clds Suphan Buri Riyadh Clear 29 Surat Thani 32 °C 70% Mostly Cldy Khanom 32 °C 70% Partly Cldy Rome Scattered clouds 18 Surin 31 °C 75% Scattered Clds Khlong Yai 25 °C 100% Light Rain San Francisco Passing clouds 12 29 °C 66% Mist Ko Lanta 31 °C 79% Scattered Clds Tak Seoul Sunny 25 Takua Pa 25 °C 89% Rain Ko Samui 32 °C 70% Partly Cldy Shanghai Passing clouds 27 32 °C 33% Scattered Clds Ko Sichang 33 °C 63% Scattered Clds Tha Tum Singapore Light rain 27 Tha Wang Pha 25 °C 94% Light Rain Krabi 24 °C 100% T-storm Stockholm Broken clouds 12 Thoen 26 °C 89% Mostly Cldy Lampang 28 °C 74% Mostly Cldy Sydney Partly sunny 21 Lamphun 27 °C 71% Scattered Clds Thong Pha Phum 28 °C 79% Mist Taibei/Taipei Partly sunny 30 Thung Chang 25 °C 94% Light Rain Loei 25 °C 89% Mostly Cldy Tokyo Scattered showers 21 Trang 31 °C 79% Scattered Clds Lop Buri 34 °C 63% Partly Cldy Vancouver Overcast 13 Trat 25 °C 100% Light Rain Mae Hong Son 29 °C 65% Overcast Vientiane Chance of rain 26 Ubon Ratchathani 30 °C 79% Scattered Clds Mae Sariang 30 °C 60% Mist Yangon Scattered clouds 34 Udon Thani 28 °C 89% Mostly Cldy Mae Sot 29 °C 70% Mostly Cldy Zurich Mild 18 Umphang 29 °C 70% Mostly Cldy Mukdahan 28 °C 77% Partly Cldy Uttaradit Nakhon Phanom 26 °C 78% Partly Cldy Nak. Ratchasima 30 °C 64% Scattered Clds Wichian Buri

26 °C 80% Mist 27 °C 83% Light Rain

your stars

Pub, restaurant & guesthouse

Opposite the Fishing Pier

We’ve got WOT?!

WINE ON TAP! Red and White Spanish Wine available by the glass or carafe

TRY IT TODAY!

For reservations or information call 032 530087 www.buffalobillshuahin.com Located on the corner of Chomsin/ Naresdamri rd Capricorn Dec 22 - Jan 19

You never thought you’d end up a billionaire, living in a palatial mansion, and jetsetting around the world. So it’s no real disappointment, when you don’t.

Aquarius Jan 20 – Feb 18

Your lucky compound modifiers for this week are: long-term, hard-fought and military-history.

Taurus Apr 21 – May 21

Avoid making any important decisions this week. And, come to think of it, next week as well. In fact, assume this is always the case unless the stars tell you otherwise.

Gemini May 22 – June 21

You’ll continue to sweat the small stuff this Thursday, thanks to a set of abnormally large exocrine glands.

Pisces Feb 19 – Mar 20

Lately it seems like nobody respects your feelings, but why don’t you just shut up for a second and let the stars worry about it.

ARIES Mar 21 - Apr 20

While it’s true that love has no boundaries, no limits, and no rules, your courtappointed restraining order has all three.

Virgo Aug 23 – Sep 22

There’s no worse fate than dying alone. Thankfully, you’ll be surrounded by hundreds of airline passengers when it happens.

Libra Sep 23 – Oct 23

Man dinners.

A cleansing fire will sweep across the land, purifying countless souls, purging all guilt and sin, and defrosting a number of delicious Hungry-

Cancer Jun 22 – Jul 22

Remember: Sometimes in life you just have to roll the dice, move your wheelbarrow to St. James Place, and pay the £70 in total rent.

Leo Jul 23 – Aug 22

Possessed by satanic forces, your dog will soon order you to murder all those squirrels.

Scorpio Oct 24 – Nov 21

You’ll feel like a kid again this week, thanks to an unexpected visit from your Uncle Joe.

Sagittarius Nov 22 – Dec 21

If you can’t smile and laugh at work occasionally, then you’re clearly doing something wrong, Mr. Surgical Oncologist.

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awol bazaar 2 bed, one bath 65 sq m 3rd flr apartment just 3 mins walk to the beach.

Facilities on site include: Large pool & children’s pool.

Fitness room. Private parking (underground). 24 hr security.

Children’s play room.

Fitted with modern kitchen appliances, balcony furniture, Sat TV, Wifi. Flat screen TV’s in living and both bedrooms. Dining table and chairs. Bedrooms have wood flooring and air-con.

Balcony overlooking pool with table and chairs.

Price was 4.8m now 3.75m baht Please email chris.b@btinternet.com or phone 090 996 4731 to arrange viewing

accommodation

e ve s W ha ike w rb le! no oto sa m for

Two Bed Sea Craze Condo

Rooms from 3000 bt p/m Apartments 7000 bt p/m All near beach Condo with sea view & pool 12,000 bt p/m

motorbike/car rent

Motorbikes 250 a day, 1400 a week, 4500 a month Cars from 900 a day, 4000 a week, 12,000 a month

self storage

Any item, furniture, m’bikes, bicycles, baggage etc

Discount for long term contracts Call David on 092 927 7207 Email davidhodgins@ymail.com

Contact: Tel.: 082 298 0500 E-mail: luckyrealestatehuahin@gmail.com Website: luckyhuahin.com

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS If you want to drink, that’s your business, if you want to stop, we can help.

Call to speak to an AA member:

Peo (Swedish) - 086 012 0856 Henrik - 095-950-7550 Loren - 081-007-6856 Terry aatha - 091-883-7757 iland.org www.

Meetings every day in Hua Hin

The Bridge Club Hua Hin

Is looking for New Members Every Monday and Thursdays from 14:00 to 17:30 at Say Cheese Games and Sports Soi 74 (Amnuaysin) Register by mail: b.j.bridge@hotmail.com Or walk in @ Guesthouse Say Cheese soi 74

LAND FOR SALE

17 Rai in the Kui Buri area, near National Park and Yang Chum reservoir 499,000 baht per rai Full Chanote Please call 081 614 8728 for more details NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS

A non-profit fellowship of men and women for whom drugs have become a major problem

Meetings now in Hua Hin on Sundays at 10.30am, Tuesdays at 12 noon and Thursdays at 6pm Contact Add 086 014 7585 Emmanuel K. 090 438 387 Mark 084 314 1928

Bobby’s British Breakfast Foods

english corner & events

UK Sausages, Ham, Bacon, Pies, Teas etc.

••

Call 087 155 7737 or 089 985 7473

A section for all you budding etymologists where each week the origin of a word or phrase is investigated. as misguided.

This week it is....The Yellow Peril The supposed danger of Oriental hordes overwhelming the The term Yellow Peril was coined following Japan’s military defeat of China in 1895 and was generally applied to Japan. It has West.

The phrase ‘The Yellow Peril’ is no longer used in anger, so been reported as being coined by the German Kaiser Wilhelm to speak. The threat of Oriental hordes swarming west and II, in September 1895. If the Kaiser did coin the phrase then engulfing ‘civilised’ societies was a widely held fear in the late the date is incorrect as the term was used earlier that year by the Hungarian General Turr, in an assessment of Bismark. This 19th/early 20th centuries.

A pre-cursor to the yellow peril was the yellow terror. This was was reported in several US newspaper at the time, including initially used to denote the deadly Yellow Fever - also sometime the Ohio paper The Sandusky Register, June 1895: known as American Plague. An outbreak of the disease was “The ‘yellow peril’ is more threatening than ever. Japan has made reported in October 1878 by the Iowa newspaper The Dubuque in a few years as much progress as other nations have made in centuries.”

Herald Iowa: It is true that the Kaiser was virulently anti-Japanese/Chinese The Yellow Terror - The list of new cases does not diminish.

Just a few years later, in October 1894, the Wisconsin Daily and he commissioned a painting which was intended to Gazette used the term to describe a Chinese general, whom encourage Europeans to cooperate to beat back the Eastern it likened to both Wellington and Napoleon. They helpfully menace. The painting, which was made into a widely used poster, shows a distant Buddha-like figure (not unlike General provided a sketch of the ‘inscrutable’ commander: THE YELLOW TERROR OF ORIENTAL WARS - GEN. YEH Yeh) sitting in an approaching firestorm while an Ayran messenger warns the womenfolk of various countries of their OF THE IMPERIAL CHINESE ARMY. He Is the Wellington of the Flowery Kingdom - His Field Tactics, impending doom.

However, Resemble Those of the Corsican Conqueror of Europe, The fear of invasion continued into the 20th century and was bolstered by various portrayals of sinister Orientals in books and Ought To Be Successful.

The yellow was clearly an allusion to skin colour, although and films. Prominent amongst these was the English writer not to the cowardice suggested by the American term yellow Sax Rohmer’s creation, the insidious and diabolical genius Dr. Fu Manchu. By the outbreak of WWI, the lack of any actual bellied, which was coined later.

The fear in the West of the mysterious, and many believed invasion and the fact that the Kaiser and his ilk had by then unknowable, Orientals was as real at the turn of the 20th better things to think about, talk of the Yellow Peril began to century as the fear of Muslims at the start of the 21st, and just fade.

Welcome to our collaborative section with Hua Hin’s only local radio station playing Western music 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, the one and only Surf 102.5 FM! Every day Surf features local events and activities that visitors and locals might be interested in enjoying, and you will find these below. If you know of an event, activity or regular happening that is not listed here or in our Balloon Chasers section, please get in touch by email to either AWOL (submissions@awolonline.net or Surf 102.5 FM (surf102.5fm@gmail.com) or via either of the respective Facebook pages; AWOLexpat or Surf102.5.

Upcoming inform awol or surf fm of your charitable the members in the group has a chance to or non commercial event and we will announce host a dinner party in his/her home for the other members. If you love cooking and like it here to make new friends you should join. You do Ongoing not need to be an expert. Tel. Robert 0983 Rescue Paws is a non-profit organization 562290 based in Hua Hin dedicated to helping Dusit Thani Hua Hin Soccer and improving the lives of Thailand’s stray Academy: exercise and professional animal population. Find out more on their football coaching for kids. website rescuepawsasia.org or Facebook page Hua Hin Hash house Harriers every RescuePawsThailand Saturday around the area. (see p22) trash hero hua hin now every Sunday Cicada Market and Performing at 3pm a beach area gets cleaned. See their Arts Fair. The Venue@Suansri. Fri/Sat eponymous Facebook page for weekly details evenings from sunset to 12 pm, Sundays from HUA HIN HOBBY COOKING CLUB If cooking 4pm; Dining, shopping, art, performances, is your hobby you can join an international and films in a beautiful park-like setting. A group of hobby cooks in Hua Hin. Each one of great place to spend an evening

surf 102.5 fm schedule The Marriott Breakfast Show with Steve Johnston Mon. to Fri. 6:30 - 10:00 Asia Pop 40 with Dom Lau Sat. 09:00 - 12:00, Sun. 22:00 - 18:00 Tue. 21:00 - 24:00 “Something On The Radio” with James Ross Sun., Wed., Fri. 21:00-23:00 LA Spinz with Peter Reynolds Mon., Wed., Fri. 19:30 Q Burn Rocks On with Peter Antony Fri. 23:00

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sudoku Each week we have an easy and a hard Sudoku puzzle. Just fill in the empty squares so that each horizontal and vertical line, and each section, has all the numbers 1 to 9.

We would like to apologise for an error in issue 418 (24th February) - we mistakenly reprinted the same two puzzles as for the previous week, but in issue 419 (3rd March) printed solutions to the puzzles that should have appeared. Many thanks to Mr Brian Tweedie for pointing out our error.

Puzzle 1 (Easy)

Puzzle 2 (Hard)

Last issue’s solutions Puzzle 1

EXPAT INSURANCE SOLUTIONS ‘12 YEARS IN TOWN’

Health (up to 80), Car, Motorbike, House, Commercial.

Full medical cover for expats worldwide Travel insurance specialist (including as required for Schenghen visas) 250/129 soi 94 opp. Smile Hotel - before railway 085 962 2232 or 032 512075 franckracinesiamconsulting@gmail.com www.siam-consulting.asia www.asiaexpatinsurance.com

Puzzle 2

ALL NATIONS

hua hin

guesthouse and bar 12 rooms from 350 baht a night free wifi for guests 032 512747

allnationshuahin@ gmail.com Drop your AWOL Classifieds in here

Let’s Eat RESTAURANT

puzzles

Open 9am to 9pm English Breakfast and Thai Food Soi 3 Khao Takiab (next to 7-11) Call 082 294 5602

codeword

Each letter in this puzzle is represented by a number 1-26. Can you crack the code and solve the crossword? Every letter of the alphabet is used at least once.

Two or three letters are already in place to get you started. Use the 1-26 small grid to keep track.

Last Issue’s Solution

A N

B O

C P

D Q

E R

F S

G H T U

I J K V W X

L Y

M Z

crossword Across 1 Through which travellers must pay to pass (8) 5 Back of lower leg (4) 9 Hot molten rock (5) 10 (Chemical used in production of) clear film (7) 11 Conflicting flow (12) 13 Yearn (6) 14 Element of which diamonds are formed (6) 17 Agricultural area, but less than a farm (12) 20 Medicinal tablet (7) 21 Main town of County Tyrone (5) 22 Violent disturbance by mob (4) 23 Render ineffectual - lusty fit (anag) (8)

The solution to last week’s puzzle is on page 19

Down 1 Measure of duration (4) 2 Fetter (3,4) 3 Discriminatory barrier to promotion (5,7) 4 Mesmerised state (6) 6 Flabbergast (5) 7 Momentary (8) 8 With complete devotion (5,3,4) 12 American-born Victorian artist (8) 15 Language of Bangladesh and northeast India (7) 16 Stir up (trouble) (6) 18 Italian port, site of WWII allied landings (5) 19 Watery liquid from milk (4)

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10

area 555 Got some great jokes?

Send them to us on submissions@awolonline.net

••

robbery Morris the jeweller called the police station to report a robbery.

“You’ll never believe what happened, Officer. A van backed up to my shop, the doors opened and an elephant came out.

He broke my plate glass window, stuck his trunk in, sucked up all the jewellery and climbed back into the truck. The doors closed and the van pulled away.”

The desk sergeant said, “Could you tell me, for identification purposes, whether it was an Indian elephant or an African elephant?” “What’s the difference?” asked Morris. “Well,” said the sergeant, “an African elephant has great big ears and an Indian elephant has little ears.”

“Come to think of it, I couldn’t see his ears,” said the jeweller. ....”He had a balaclava on his head.”

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marry in haste...

A man met a beautiful lady and decided he wanted to marry her right away. She said, ‘But we don’t know anything about each other.’

He said, ‘That’s all right, we’ll learn about each other as we go along.’

So she consented, they were married, and off they went on a honeymoon at a very nice resort.

One morning they were lying by the pool, when he got up off of his towel, climbed up to the 10 metre board and did a two and a half tuck, followed by three rotations in the pike position, at which point he straightened out and cut the water like a knife.

After a few more demonstrations, he came back and lay down on the towel. She said, ‘That was incredible!’

He said, ‘I used to be an Olympic diving champion. You see, I told you we’d learn more about each other as we went along.’

So she got up, jumped in the pool and started doing lengths.

After seventy-five lengths she climbed out of the pool, lay down on her towel and was hardly out of breath.

He said, ‘That was incredible! Were you an Olympic endurance swimmer?’

‘No,’ she said, ‘I was a prostitute in Glasgow but I worked both sides of the Clyde!

black and white Not saying the South African legal system is racist but there were two new cellmates chatting in a Durban prison. One was white and the other one was black. The black fella says to the white bloke “How long you in for and what have you done”.

The white bloke says “I raped a girl and got caught bang to accident rights. The judge gave me two years and said if the girl had A lorry carrying 25 tons of Vicks Vapour Rub has overturned been white I would have got longer. You?”.

The black fella says “I got caught riding my bike with no lights on the M6, near Birmingham, spilling it’s load onto the on and got six months. The judge said it would have been carriageway. longer if it had been at night”

••

Power Of Love Church

HELP NEEDED FOR THE SLUMS IN HUA HIN

We are working to help the Slums of Hua Hin and would love to have you deliver your goods with us, so you know your donation is going directly to those who need it. We need secondhand items, clothes and household goods.

Why not join us and come to the slums with us?

We leave from our offices at 17:20 Every Tuesday evening. Visit us any day at the Power Of Love Children’s Home, Soi CJ, Khao Takiab, Hua Hin Facebook@Power of Love Church Tel K. Andrew 080 999 3603 K. Panaya 092 592 3604 (Thai) (Services every Sunday 10 am at Hilton Resort and Spa)

to hull and back Restaurant & Bakery in Samorphrong

OPEN 11am - 9pm every day (Closed Tuesdays) Delicious Home Cooked Western & Thai Food daily specials - check our blackboard Breakfasts - Fresh Bread Baked Daily Free Wi-Fi - Easy Parking Contact us on 093 139 9655 or food@passportcafehuahin.com

Menu on passportcafehuahin.com and Facebook page Passport-Cafe Directions: From Hua Hin go north on the Klong (Canal) Road through the traffic lights and turn left at the blue bridge with the water tower next to it, then immediately right before the 7-11. Follow this road for approximately 1.5 km and you will find us on the right opposite Tropical Hill.

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alas, poor culture, we knew you well Last week saw the beginning and end of my first foray into the world of Shakespeare. Many people love the work of the Bard, and I now admire those fans for their patience and historical knowledge, because act one of Richard 3rd went right over my head in a cloud of gobbledegook.

To be fair act two improved dramatically with it’s battle action, lighting, drumming and death scene. The actors were excellent (how do they remember all that stuff)? and it passed a Saturday afternoon with the prospect of eating out to follow. But from now on I’ll stick to the film versions on TV when there really isn’t anything else at all to do, and leave the books and plays of the Bard to the afficionados.

The Shakespeare foray was of course inspired by Hulls’ year as UK City of Culture, which, after a great start on New Years Day, seems to be slowing down a bit. There have been some good art installations around, but none seem to remain in place for very long, while trying to get tickets online for the (mostly free) events would test the patience of a saint.

Let’s hope that the anticipated legacy for our city turns out to be as successful as that of Liverpool, which was European Capital of Culture in 2008. On the 19th of this month Liverpools legacy is showcased yet again in it’s 8th year of late night ‘culture crawls’, which involves over 900 artists and performers on the streets and in late opening venues, including the Tate Liverpool gallery. Only time will tell whether Hull will learn a thing or two from the city at the other end of the M62.

Now, all you keen photographers in Thailand will know that there are plenty of things there worth capturing on film - and

advertise here for just 360 baht per week (when booked for 13 issues)

not just in the bars! The wealth of scenery, flora and fauna, temples and street life, and underwater shots for those brave enough, could keep you occupied for years. But there is one view of Thailand which you might not have seen yet, and will never be able to capture yourselves.

Major Tim Peake, the British astronaut who spent 6 months on the International Space Station, took plenty of photographs as he circled the earth, and last November a book containing over 150 of his pictures was published. One in particular stands out. A shot of the Gulf of Thailand at night, taken from a low angle looking north, showing the green and white lights of hundreds of fishing boats, crowned by a huge white glow which is Bangkok.

Many other pictures in the book, entitled ‘Hello - Is This Planet Earth? ‘ are just as stunning, and some of them, including the Thai fishing boats, can easily be found on the Guardian website by searching Tim Peake. Unfortunately the online images don’t do justice to the glossy pages of the book, which at 15 pounds or so sterling is very good value. And no - I’m not on commission!

On This Day

May 19th 1890 marked the birth of Ho Chi Minh, who became the first President of Vietnam. It was also the date on which, in 1962, Marilyn Monroe serenaded President Kennedy with her unforgettable rendition of Happy Birthday. That normally mundane little song is one which has stood the test of time, and next week we take a look at the surprising number of bands and musicians who can still draw in the crowds when they should be drawing their pensions.

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hua hin city F.C ADVERTISING OPPORTUNITIES AT THE HUA HIN CITY FC STADIUM 28 Billboards around the pitch Contact huahincityfc2017@gmail.com for prices and details

hua hin city f.c SPONSOR OPPORTUNITIES ON THE HUA HIN CITY FC SHIRTS Contact huahincityfc2017@gmail.com for prices and details FRONT

S3

• S1 Large Logo • S2 Medium Logo • S3 Medium Top Logo • S4 Right Side (letters) • S5 Left Side (letters)

S1 S4

S5

S2

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back S9

S6

10 S7 S8

S10

• S6 Medium Top Logo • S7 Medium Middle Logo • S8 Medium Bottom Logo • S9 Left Arm Logo • S10 Right Arm Logo • S11Short Back Logo

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Like Us on Facebook - HuaHinCityFC

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classifieds awol classifieds are changing!

After an extensive review of our Classified advertising pricing and display, we have decided to change much about how we will proceed with immediate effect.

The key changes are summarised on our front page, and below you will find all the details of how to place a classified advert with us, and how much it will cost.

Please note that we are no longer offering free classified adverts; however, we are reducing the cost of our former ‘Premium’ adverts considerably, and applying these prices across the board. We are also introducing ‘Featured’ ads, which have extra prominence with a box around them and the option of shading behind the text.

Property Law Criminal & Civil Law Family Law Company Registration Visa & Notary Services

Contact: rita@legalserviceshuahin.com facebook.com/legalserviceshuahin Located at Makro Food services Featured ads

Any advert can be made a Featured ad by either paying an additional fee, in the case of Single ads, of two additional ads, or by using up two additional ads in a subscription pack. So for a Single ad that costs 300 baht, to make this Featured will cost an additional 600 baht, making a Pricing total of 900 baht. This additional fee or use of pack ads We now offer four pricing options that apply to any remains the same regardless of the number of words in category of advert. the ad. Examples of Featured ads can be seen in the ads 1. Single advert (25 words or less) for 13 issues 300 baht following this updated information. These are existing 2. Basic Subscription allowing up to 12 Single ads for 13 ‘Premium’ ads that we have upgraded. issues each. 1200 baht 3. Extra Subscription allowing up to 36 Single ads for 13 Placing your ad(s) issues each. 2700 baht 4. Extra Plus Subscription allowing up to 72 Single ads of This remains largely unchanged from before; the options 13 issues each. 3600 baht are outlined in the shaded box below.

Adverts of longer than 25 words will either require purchasing further Single ads in the case of option 1, or using more of the ads in the subscription pack. The same applies to wishing to run an advert for longer than 13 weeks/issues, and this is where the subscription packs work out as great value, as the Basic pack would allow for three ads to run for one year, or six ads to run for six months, for example.

A further note on the subscription packs is that AWOL has no objection to businesses or people joining together to use a single pack between them, similar to the AWOL Bazaar.

Payment

No ads will be published in the paper or on the AWOL Classifieds website until payment is received. All the payment options are detailed below, as well as on our website at www.awolonline.net/classifieds/pricing.

BUY, SELL, RENT OR LEASE – THIS IS THE PLACE TO DO IT WITH EASE!

Placing a classified with AWOL

All ads run for a minimum of thirteen weeks/issues. Maximum 25 words for any Single ad; longer ads possible by purchasing/using more ads.

Prices: Single ad - 300 baht; Subscriptions: Basic (12 ads) - 1200 baht; Extra (36 ads) - 2700 baht; Extra Plus (72 ads) - 3600 baht.

Option 1: register or log in at www.awolonline.net/classifieds and place your advert there; Option 2: email to classifieds@awolonline.net; Option 3: Facebook users can join our Group ‘AWOL Classifieds’ and place ads there for free; Option 4: write the details clearly in BLOCK capitals on paper and mail or drop it in to our office (address on page 2) .

No adverts published (except Facebook) without prior payment. Deadline for inclusion in that week’s issue is Tuesday 6pm. Please notify us on classifieds@awolonline.net or by calling 081 649 8361 if you want an ad removed before it’s due date. No refunds given for removed ads.

Payment: Cash at our office; Bank transfer/deposit (online or ATM/ADM) - A/C no. 489-0-04184-2 (KTB Bank), or credit/debit cards via Paypal, or Paypal transfer; Paypal email info@awolonline.net

classifieds

Business

Thriving local restaurant and premises for sale. Two storey townhouse on a corner plot comprising a small restaurant with two kitchen areas and toilet on the ground floor, and 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms on the upper floor, located in a busy residential area with several large estates in walking distance. Reluctantly selling this excellent property and business to invest elsewhere. Price 5.2 m baht. Please call 093 139 9655.

Employment

advertise for staff here.

SERVICES

self storage Any item, furniture, m’bikes, bicycles, baggage etc. Discount for long term contracts. Call David on 092 927 7207 or Email davidhodgins@ymail.com

driving in thailand? International driving licence valid 5 years 1800 bt. Call 089 530 8771 (Eng)

General

single fold up bed with mattress, as new. 3000 baht o.n.o. Call 032 523604

nearly new mg3 for sale. 2016 hatchback C 1.5. 4 year warranty. 14,500 k’s. As new, trendy yellow body and black trim/roof, Thb 415,000 ONO. Phone 0614386005 / 0968833172 / email nirvanadua2015l@gmail.com Property for sale

Two Bed Sea Craze Condo - 2 bed, one bath 65 sq m 3rd flr apartment just 3 mins walk to the beach. Full details and photos at the AWOL property website, further details on page 6 in the AWOL Bazaar. Price was 4.8m now 3.75m baht. Please email chris.b@ btinternet.com or phone 090 996 4731 to arrange viewing large house and land near Cha Am for sale; 200 sqm living area on 2.5 rai just 4.8m baht. Also adjacent land of 0.7 rai available for 480,000 baht or make an offer for both. Contact 089 530 8771 or go to luckyhuahin.com for photos and information.

Property wanted

Looking for property? Post your wanted ad here. commercial property

sunrise coast commercial

properties - we have a variety of land, resorts and other commercial opportunities available in the Bang Saphan area. Contact 089 530 8771 for details.

property for Rent

General - sports

Walking Football Are there any Expats(ladies & gents) in the

central Hua Hin area interested in putting a couple or more teams together to play matches. I’m open to suggestions, e.g. 7 or 11 to a team. For further info please contact me. Email: jonniesingh44@gmail.com, Tel: 0620134167 PALM HILLS GOLF Membership For Sale. Until February 2035 (18 Years). Current PH promo price-10 years= 150,000 Bt + Transfer fee. Pro-rata price for 18 years therefore=270,000 Bt. Discounted To 195,000 Bt + Transfer Fee. Contact: Craig 081193 6230 or email craig.miller@live.co.uk full size pool table for sale with all accessories, cues, balls and light.

Very good condition, two and a half years old, used very little. Can be seen at JP Restaurant in Samorphrong. 45,000 baht. Contact 085 204 9475.

Golf clubs Left handed golf clubs, one mens and one ladies. 6000 each. Contact via AWOL Classifieds Facebook Group

auto

motorbike/car rent Motorbikes 250 a

day, 1400 a week, 4500 a month, Cars from 900 a day, 4000 a week, 12,000 a month. Please call David on 092 927 7207 or email davidhodgins@ymail.com for more information

Rooms from 3000 bt p/m, Apartments 7000 bt p/m All close to beach, Condo with sea view and pool 12,000 bt p/m. Weekly and daily rates available. Tiks Place at VIP Condo just north of Hua Hin airport, opposite Palm Hills. Please call David on 092 927 7207 or email davidhodgins@ymail.com for more information Wanted

WANTED TO BUY Samsung S4 mobile phone or S5, dont want Iphone at all... Contact seller via AWOL Classifieds Facebook Group

personals

place any sort of personal ad here; looking for love, trying to make contact with someone or even coded messages! announcements

make your personal or business announcement here; Weddings, Birthdays, Funerals, Obituaries, Barmitzvahs, Parties, anything!

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money & information overseas calls information

Useful Numbers

REVERSE CHARGE CALLS The list below is the free number to connect to an operator of that country to request the reverse charge call.

ARGENTINA 001-999-54-1000/ 2000 AUSTRALIA 001-999-61-1000/2000 AUSTRIA 001-800-28787421 BAHRAIN 001-999-973-1000 BRUNEI 001-999-673-1000 CANADA 001-999-15-1000/2000 DENMARK 001-999-45-1000 FRANCE 001-999-33-1000 GERMANY 001-999-49-1000 HAWAII 001-800-865-8424 HONG KONG 001-999-852-1086 INDONESIA 001-999-62-1000/2000 ISRAEL 001-999-972-1000/ 2000 ITALY 001-999-39-1000 JAPAN 001-999-811-0051 KOREA 001-999-82-1000/ 2000/ 2001 MACAU 001-999-853-1000 MALAYSIA 001-999-60-1000/4000/ 4001 MALTA 001-999-356-1000 MEXICO 001-999-52-1000 NEPAL 001-800-977-1-9999 NETHERLANDS 001-999-31-1035 NEW ZEALAND 001-999-64-1066 PHILIPPINES 001-999-63-1000/ 3000/ 6000 PORTUGAL 001-999-351-1000 RUSSIA 001-999-7-1000 SINGAPORE 001-999-65-0000/ 2008 SOUTH AFRICA 001-999-27-1000 SPAIN 001-999-34-1066 TAIWAN 001-999-886-1000 U.A.E. 001-999-971-1000 U.K. 001-999-44-1066 U.S.A. 001-999-1-1111/ 2001/ 2002 Thanks to the staff at CAT in Hua Hin for providing the above numbers.

FREE and cheap CALLS If your mobile phone or device and that of the person you are calling supports it, you can use a number of apps to make free calls anywhere, with the best known being Skype and Viber.

The mobile phone operators offer special numbers to prefix an international number to get cheap rate international calls. More information call True 1331 AIS 1175 DTAC 1678

Police 191 Crime 195 Fire 199 Traffic Control Centre 197 Highway Police 1193 Tourist Police 1699 Tourist Service Centre 1155 Missing Persons 02 282 1815 Police Station 032 511 027 Tourist Police 032 516 219 Cha-Am Police 032 471 321 Bangkok Hospital 1719 Hua Hin Hospital 032 511 743 San Paulo Hospital 032 532 576 to 585 Red Cross 032 512 567 Municipality 032 532433 Tessabahn 032 511 047 Immigration 032 520 617 Bus Terminal (non air-con) 032 511 230 (air-con) 032 511654, 512543 Railway Station 032 511 073 Tourist Information 032 513 885 Electricity Office 032 512 215 Electricity Call Centre 1129 Water Office 032 511 677 TOT 032 519 000/001 TOT Call Centre 1100 TT&T 032 532 018 3BB 032-900020-1, 086-0127273 3BB Call Centre 1530 CAT 032 511 350 Alcoholics Anonymous 0870 620 098 Narcotics Anonymous 084 314 1928

Exchange Rates (17-5-17)

Currency Baht Algerian Dinar 0.318 Argentine Peso 2.21 Australian Dollar 25.6 Bitcoin 60084 Brazilian Real 11.1 British Pound 44.5 Bulgarian Lev 19.5 Canadian Dollar 25.3 Chilean Peso 0.0517 Chinese Yuan 5 Croatian Kuna 5.17 Czech Koruna 1.45 Danish Krone 5.14 Egyptian Pound 1.91 Ethereum 2913 Euro 38.3 Hong Kong Dollar 4.43 Hungarian Forint 0.124 Iceland Krona 0.338 Indian Rupee 0.538 Indonesian Rupiah 0.0026 Iranian Rial 0.0011 Israeli New Shekel 9.6 Japanese Yen 0.306 Korean Won 0.0308 Malaysian Ringgit 7.98 Mexican Peso 1.84 New Zealand Dollar 23.7 Nigerian Naira 0.109 Norwegian Krone 4.07 Pakistan Rupee 0.329 Philippine Peso 0.693 Polish Zloty 9.16 Qatari Rial 9.46 Romanian Leu 8.41 Russian Ruble 0.609 Saudi Riyal 9.19 Serbian Dinar 0.308 Singapore Dollar 24.7 South African Rand 2.64 Local Consular Sri Lanka Rupee 0.226 Representatives Swedish Krona 3.93 Swiss Franc 35 CANADIAN Taiwan Dollar 1.14 Rick Pomerleau 087 153 3817 or e-mail Turkish Lira 9.72 rickpomerleau@hotmail.com UAE Dirham

9.38 FINNISH US Dollar 34.5 Mr. Sipi Siljamaeki 087-911 8119 or e-mail: Ukraine Hryvnia 1.3 suthiporn.siljamaki@gmail.com

AMERICAN

Mr. Christopher Byrd 081-173 4469 or e-mail: AWOL makes no warranties, express or implied, chrs@tourdeasia.org regarding these rates and shall not be liable for any losses or damages incurred in connection with them.

balloon chasers

••

Parties, special deals, regular events, celebrations and more; Sunset Boulevard, Khao Takiab; All video, home to get it in AWOL email submissions@awolonline.net or post made fun pub quiz. Third Tuesday of every month (next one it on our Balloon Chasers facebook group. is on Tuesday 16th May,). 10 rounds including 2 audio visual and 2 table rounds. There is limited space so early bookings are recently added and coming soon strongly recommended. Call Mike 084 3769438 for more info double d, Soi 6; Friday 19th May from 8pm, DD presents and for bookings. Sunset Boulevard is 150 metres past the Ibis Tony Lans (founder of Tumbleweed) for an evening of live hotel going south on the Takiap Road. tk roadhouse, Khao Takiab; First Tuesday of every music. All welcome, free entry (see ad p3) month ‘The Best Quiz In Town’! 8 rounds, beer questions, free PIT’S CAFE, Dusitland 8, Soi 94; Happy hour from 12.00 Cottage Pie and bread.

To 6.00, draught leo 50bht per glass. Lunch by our new chef starting at 12.00 O’clock.

British style Sunday Roasts: siam handlebar, phetkasem road (opp. airport); Draught Chang Buy one, get one free from 5 - 10pm Andreanna’s, Khao Takiab nany’s cafe, soi 88; Friday special - Fish ,chips and mushy Bobby’s Bar, Soi 102 peas 139 bt, Atlantic cod fillet chips and mushy peas 220 bt. Father Teds, Damnoernkasem Road Also Leo draft now available small(half) 55 bt, large(pint) 75 bt Hua Hin Miss You, Soi 80 toon’s bar and restaurant, soi 6, borfai; Now Jungle Juice, Soi Selekam open every day from 3pm serving a wide range of Thai and Mucky Duck, Bonkai (Soi 88) Western food until 9pm, and great prices all day every day on Nany’s Cafe, Soi 88 drinks until late Nit’s Kitchen, Soi 94 el murphy’s, soi selekam; Murfs Happy Times from Orchid Restaurant 94, Soi 94 7am to 7pm Pints of: Guinness 189 bt, Old Speckled Hen 210 Palm Bistro, Soi 88 (032 828144) bt, Magners and Stowfor cider 180 bt. All day Chang and Leo Seajays Resort, off Pala-U Road. 083 311 1787 Large 90 bt, small 49 bt.

Sunset Boulevard, Khao Takiab Bookings only 084 376 9438 Ye Olde Buffalo Tavern, Chomsin Rd Regular Events Zab Wer, Soi 112.

Bobby’s Bar, Soi 102.; The 99 baht breakfast is Back! FREE Sunday Roast - spend 200 baht and get a free Chicken or Pork Sunday Roast, spend an extra 80 baht and you can get Lamb.

Available from 12.30 to 6.30pm. All You Can Eat Fish & Chips every Friday from 5pm when spend 200 bt. chocolate cafe, soi 102; Every Tuesday from 6.30 pm, free Thai and Western food buffet. double d, Soi 6; Happy Hour every day from 3 - 6pm - Samsong + mixer 40 baht, Wine 55 baht, San Miguel and Heineken 65 baht, small/large domestic beers 45/70 baht. father teds, Damnoernkasem Road; Live music, special food and drink offers, draught Guinness, something happening every night! See add on p13 for details. la maison bleu, Phetkasem road; Every Saturday from 7 to 10pm Live music by Susan and Larry. passport cafe, Samorphrong; Now open for Breakfasts, Freshly baked bread, Daily Specials and more (see ad p9) red piano, soi kanjanomai; Happy Hour every day from 5 - 7pm buy one get one free.

Spots pool bar, Soi 88; Draft Singha and Leo just 65 baht. the palm bistro, soi 88; Join their Sunday Lunch Club and start earning a free Sunday Roast (see ad p3) Uncle Bryn’s (2km past Palm Hills north along klong road. Turn left and 200m on left.); Large Chang 55 baht, large Leo 58 baht. Open daily 7am-late. 085 405 6976 (T) 080 197 2072(E) pub quizzes

king bar, Soi Binthabaht; Quiz second Monday of every month (next one Monday 12th June 2017 at 7.30 pm) .

Free entry, food and prizes - hosted by Hawk - all welcome.

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LOCAL SPORTS hua hin city F.C

Hua Hin City F. C. is the local professional team formed in 2011, playing their matches at the Takiab Stadium in Khao Takiab. results sunday 13th may 2017 Hua Hin City 0 - 1 Muangkan United FIXTURES saturday 20th may 2017 Hua Hin City v Prathum Thani 17:30 Apologies for the fixtures error last week thai League 4 Western Region table

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Team Suphanburi B Assumption United Muangkan United BTU United Ratchaburi Mitr Phol B Look Isan IPE Samut Sakhon United Nonthaburi Hua Hin City Pathum Thani United

P 11 11 11 11 11 11 11 11 11 11

GD +16 +10 +9 +5 −3 −1 −8 −4 −7 −17

PTS 26 24 23 20 15 15 12 12 6 1

Match Report: Vana Nava Hua Hin City 0 – 1 Muangkan Utd Many supporters had taken advantage of the President’s new policy of free admission for supporters wearing Hua Hin colours. Attendance for this game was definitely up on previous matches. Of course, it’s performance on the pitch that would make those supporters want to return next week.

The pitch was in good condition considering the horrific rain showers we’d had, and the bad weather was holding off.

Larger crowd, fine weather, what about the football? We must remember, Muangkan are riding high in the league, and must look favourites to qualify for the Champions League. The stage was set.

From the outset, Hua Hin seemed oblivious to the fact that there was a goal mouth at the other end of the pitch that they needed to penetrate. Time after time, they would pick up the ball in their own half, pass it to a team mate a few yards away, on to another team mate (often back towards their own goal), etc. Invariably, they would lose the ball before it even got to the opposition’s half. Muangkan players just had to lie in wait near the half way line, and wait for either a bad pass, or the opportunity to intercept the ball. This style was so frustrating to watch.

On the occasions Hua Hin managed to venture into the opposing half, the more experienced players basically hacked the Hua Hin youngsters off the ball. With many Muangkan players already booked, Hua Hin players were allowed to play better football in the last 30 minutes, and did create a few chances, but unfortunately there were no forwards available with that killer instinct, and any chances were wasted.

Muangkan’s goal came mid-way through the first half. It was nothing spectacular, just a well taken goal. It was a rare opportunity for either team. Neither keeper was really troubled outside of that.

Hua Hin were not beaten by a good footballing team, and must take hope as Muangkan are currently Champions League favourites – the gap is not that wide.

With the transfer window opening on 1 June, we must retain hope. It’s probably too late for this season, but at least we can build a team to take the league by storm next season.

hash house harriers

A drinking Club with a running & walking Problem!

The Cha-Am and Hua Hin Hash House GPS Coordinates: N 12.479605, E south through Hua Hin, over the railway flyover to Soi 112. Zero odometer at Harrier Clubs meet alternate Saturdays 99.793560 (N 12 28.776, E 99 47.614) roundabout at start of Soi 112. Drive 7.1 for around an hour’s. run/walk in the Directions to run site: surrounding countryside followed by (1) Google Map Link using the km to traffic lights and turn left. At 8.7 a social gathering. lf you would like to bypass (Route 37): https://goo.gl/ km turn right and follow road to bypass traffic lights at 39 km marker posts. Zero come along then visit our website www. maps/1HF5g3LB82r h2h3-cah3.weebly.com or Facebook at From Cha Am: Drive south down by- odometer and turn right (north) and www.facebook.com/H2H3CAH3 for full pass to traffic lights at large 39 km marker proceed as above to car park. details and directions. Please note that posts. Zero odometer at lights. Make people attending and participating do so U turn and drive 2.5 km back north to Any queries then please call Mudman on entirely at their own risk.

HHH sign and turn left (signed Pranburi 089 256 9003.

NEXT RUN -Saturday 20th May Dam). Continue to cross roads at 6.3 km 2017 Meeting @ 4:30 pm for a 5:00 , continue over with care to junction at HASH TAX: 50 Baht per person 8 years pm start.

12.0 km, BUT go straight ahead (HHH and over. Please put tax payment in an Hua Hin House Harriers CAH3 Run sign). At 13.2 km observe HHH sign and envelope with your name plus amount #310 enclosed printed clearly on the envelope turn off right directly into car park.

Hares: Mudman & Muddy Joe (2) Google Map Link from Phet and drop it in the tax collection box Location: West of by-pass, not far from Kasim Road: https://goo.gl/maps/ provided. Virgin Hashers Free. Water Pranburi Reservoir. and soft drinks will be available. BYO zHHpAUQFPSU2 Google Map Link: https://goo.gl/maps/ Either: Take Pala U road to bypass and alternative refreshments. dEG3iCrDWV72 then proceed south, as above. Or: drive

local golf Butterfly Rock Golf society

Hua Hin Golf Society

RESULTS 10th May 2017 Palm Hills Stableford, Nearest the Pin and Twos 19 entered 1st Mark Gagliardi 37 pts (11) 2nd Abe Gurman 35 pts (21) 3rd Peter Whittaker 35 pts (24) 4th Nigel Guest 34 pts (12)

Fixtures 22nd May 2017 Lake View A&B Stableford 24th May 2017 Majestic Creek Stableford ronnie’s roll up

Held every Friday at Palm Hills. Please contact Ronnie on 0811 942 556 if you are interested in joining in, and thanks to Ronnie for the results.

12th may 2017 11 players Front 9 - Abe Gurman (20) 17 points Back 9 - Nigel Guest (12) 18 points Overall - Nigel Guest (12) 33 points

saensuk Golf Society

Results 16th May 2017 Palm Hills Stableford 24 entered 1st Tim Vermeersch 38 pts (19) 2nd Anne Dixon 36 pts (23) 3rd Neung Chueanil 34 pts (06) 4th Greg Hill 33 pts (16)

Results 10th May 2017 Springfield Royal Country Club Splinter Cell Stableford 8 entered 1st Wiriya (Goong) Somrit 34 pts (19) 2nd Roy Sweetland 34 pts (07) 3rd Paul Badenoch-Jones 33 pts (07) 4th David Morris 32 pts (19) fixtures

23rd May 2017 Majestic Creek Stableford fixtures & Eclectic Monday/Friday Springfield Splinter Cell 26th May 2017 Banyan Medal & Eclectic Stableford 24th May 2017 Banyan - Puttipong lake view Invitational Scramble members club Results 12th May 2017 Cancelled RAIN 15th May 2017 Course AB 1st Rick Lunstrum (17) 35pts 2nd David Bowden (8) 34pts 3rd David Brien (12) 34pts 4th Rodger Teasdale (15) 33pts FIXTURES Lake View every Monday, Wednesday, Friday cha am golf club

Contact: secretary@chaamgolfclub.com FIXTURES No fixtures currently listed.

HUA HIN DARTS LEAGUE

results Week 3 16th May 2017 Blue Lagoon v Jungle Juice n/a CAT Karaoke v Miss You n/a Pinky Bar - no game

Crossword Solution

Here is last week’s Crossword solution.

League Table Team Jungle Juice Pinky Bar Miss You Blue Lagoon CAT Karaoke

P 2 2 2 1 1

W 2 0 0 0 0

D 0 2 1 1 0

L F 0 11 0 0 1 -9 0 0 1 -2

fixtures Week 4 23rd May 2017 CAT Karaoke v Blue Lagoon Jungle Juice v Pinky Bar Miss You v No game

A 4 2 1 1 0

Pts 2 0 0 0 0

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pool leagues thursday friendly Pool League

Hua Hin Khao Takiab Cool POOL LEAGUE

results week 9 11th may 2017 Big Kahuna 10 - 10 Dara Bar Connections Cafe 10 - 10 Hua Hin Bar Jaew Bar 6 - 14 Bar 80 Saloon Komhom Bar 10 - 10 MasterCues Bar Mr Dan’s 8 - 12 Coopers 94 Nalee Bar 15 - 5 Mint Bar Squealing Pig 8 - 12 The Clansmen

results Week 16 12th may 2017 Cheeky Monkey 10 - 13 Waring Bar Exotic Bar 13 - 10 TK Roadhouse Fin Bar 9 - 14 Clansmen High Five 7 - 16 Take 5 Sports Bar JNB 5 - 18 Muan Bar Jungle Juice 12 - 11 The Connection

Fixtures week 11 25th may 2017 Bar 80 Saloon v Coopers 94 Dara Bar v Connections Cafe Hua Hin Bar v Nalee Bar Jaew Bar v Komhom Bar MasterCues Bar v Big Kahuna Squealing Pig v Mr Dan’s The Clansmen v Mint Bar

Team Jungle Juice The Connection TK Roadhouse Clansmen Cheeky Monkey Take 5 Muan Bar Waring Bar Fin Bar Exotic Bar High Five JNB

League tablE Team The Clansmen Dara Bar MasterCues Bar Komhom Bar Bar 80 Saloon Coopers 94 Big Kahuna Connections Hua Hin Bar Nalee Bar Squealing Pig Mint Bar Jaew Bar Mr Dan’s

P W D L +/9 7 2 0 66 9 7 1 1 24 8 4 3 1 32 8 4 4 0 30 9 5 0 4 12 9 3 3 3 6 8 3 3 2 6 8 2 2 4 10 9 2 2 5 -14 8 4 0 4 -2 9 2 1 6 -28 8 3 1 4 -18 8 1 0 7 -62 8 1 0 7 -62

Pts 139 117 107 107 106 102 92 91 89 87 81 78 51 51

Hua Hin’s only pool bar with FOUR 9’ tables Ask about our drinks specials and other special offers

League tablE P 14 14 14 14 14 14 14 14 14 14 14 14

W 14 10 11 10 9 7 7 6 4 2 2 2

D 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0

L 0 4 3 4 5 7 7 8 10 12 12 12

+/96 66 60 52 30 0 -4 -16 -24 -60 -100 -100

Pts 209 194 191 187 176 161 159 153 149 131 111 111

FIXTURES Week 18 26th may 2017 Clansmen v High Five Fin Bar v Exotic Bar Jungle Juice v JNB Take 5 Sports Bar v Waring Bar The Connection v Cheeky Monkey TK Roadhouse v Muan Bar

FIXTURES The season is over. Congratulations to Home Bar for winning the league.

Contact Andy on 086 178 1550 Email: aknabe@gmx.net 27/3 Poolsuk Road, Hua Hin Hua Hin Pool Billiard League

results Cup Day3 12th May 2017 13 Pits Rangers 5 - 3 Mucky Duck 14 Spots Pool Bar 2 2 - 6 Humping Pig League Table Team Humping Pig Mucky Duck Pits Rangers Lucky Shot A Pits Pirates Spots Pool Bar 1 Home Bar Lucky Shot B Breeze Bar Spots Pool Bar 2 Master Cues Coopers 94

P 22 22 22 22 22 22 22 22 22 22 22 22

W 20 15 16 13 10 12 9 6 6 3 3 1

D 1 5 2 5 7 2 4 3 3 2 2 0

L 1 2 4 4 5 8 9 13 13 17 17 21

+/82 74 68 40 38 32 -10 -18 -42 -58 -100 -106

Pts 41 35 34 31 27 26 22 15 15 8 8 2

fixtures The regular season is over.

Congratulations to Humping Pig for winning the league. Details of the new season will appear here when available.

Cup final 19th May 2017 Humping Pig v Pits Rangers

soi 94 tuesday POOL LEAGUE

results week 17 16th May 2017 Coopers Bar 16 - 2 Naree Bar Home Bar 15 - 3 Le Kiss Bar Star Bar 7 - 11 Soda Bar Tores Bar 7 - 11 Komhom Restaurant Connections Cafe - no game

LUCKY SHOT BAR

League tablE Team Home Bar Coopers Bar Komhom Connections Tores Bar Naree Bar Le Kiss Bar Soda Bar Star Bar

P 16 16 16 16 16 16 16 16 16

W 13 13 10 8 6 6 6 3 1

D L 2 1 1 2 2 4 2 6 2 8 2 8 1 9 0 13 0 15

+/88 98 42 26 -6 -20 -52 -84 -92

Pts 41 40 32 26 20 20 19 9 3

Individuals 8 ball 26th/27th may 15 players each day; 3 groups of 5; top 2 of each group play the final on Sunday Individuals 10 ball 2nd/3rd june 15 players each day; 3 groups of 5; top 2 of each group play the final on Sunday

pool leagues HUA HIN social POOL LEAGUE

hua hin soi 80 tuesday Pool League

results Week 26 17th may 2017 All Nations GH v Tiger Bar n/a Bentho Bar v Pink Panther n/a Booz Bar v Jungle Juice A n/a C 69 v N & G n/a JW Black v JW Red n/a King Bar v Limelight n/a Jungle Juice B - No game

results Week 24 16th may 2017 Bar 80 Saloon 9 - 9 Hut Bar Eagle Bar 10 - 8 Night Owl Bar Easy Bar 9 - 9 Eagle Bar 2 Hua Hin Bar 2 15 - 3 Hua Hin Bar Mona Bar 10 - 8 Mint Bar The Clansmen 4 - 14 Fin Bar Exotic Bar & Miss U Bar - no game

Fixtures The season is over; however as no results have been posted for the final week, we will bring you those results and final table next week.

Fixtures Week 25 23rd may 2017 Exotic Bar v Easy Bar Hua Hin Bar v The Clansmen Hut Bar v Hua Hin Bar 2 Mint Bar v Eagle Bar Miss U Bar v Mona Bar Night Owl Bar v Bar 80 Saloon Fin Bar & Eagle Bar 2 - no game

League Table Team Limelight King Bar Jungle Juice A Bentho Bar Jungle Juice B Tiger Bar Pink Panther N&G JW Red All Nations GH C 69 JW Black Booz Bar

P 23 22 22 22 24 23 23 23 22 23 21 22 22

W 20 18 16 14 14 13 11 9 9 9 7 3 3

L 3 4 6 8 10 10 12 14 13 14 14 19 19

+/- Pts 95 40 72 36 82 32 34 28 0 28 29 26 -23 22 -11 18 -14 18 -33 18 -37 14 -78 6 -116 6

results Week 19 17th may 2017 Cheeky Monkey v BRGC@Bar80 n/a Cross Eyed Duck 15 - 4 Kom Hom Bar Infinity Bar 10 - 9 Sabai Bar Jaew Bar 7 - 12 Home Bar Lucky Shot 16 - 3 Pits Cafe 2 Pits Cafe 1 13 - 7 Coopers 94 Spots v Sabai Sabai Restaurant n/a The Breeze 8 - 11 Big Kahuna

League Table Team Fin Bar Exotic Bar Night Owl Bar Hua Hin Bar 2 The Clansmen Bar 80 Saloon Mint Bar Eagle Bar Hua Hin Bar Eagle Bar 2 Easy Bar Miss U Bar Hut Bar Mona Bar

P 22 21 21 20 20 21 21 21 21 21 20 21 21 21

W 18 15 12 12 11 8 8 8 6 7 6 7 5 5

D 1 2 3 2 4 5 3 1 5 2 4 1 3 0

L 3 4 6 6 5 8 10 12 10 12 10 13 13 16

+/134 91 22 43 34 -8 -30 -32 -34 -40 -20 -22 -44 -94

Dream Bar have left the league

hua hin wednesday Pool League

Pts 55 47 39 38 37 29 27 25 23 23 22 22 18 15

Fixtures Week 20 24th may 2017 Big Kahuna v Infinity Bar BRGC@Bar80 v Spots Coopers 94 v Cheeky Monkey Home Bar v Kom Hom Bar Pits Cafe 2 v Cross Eyed Duck Sabai Bar v Jaew Bar Sabai Sabai Restaurant v Lucky Shot The Breeze v Pits Cafe 1 League Table Team Pits Cafe 1 Lucky Shot Cross Eyed Duck Home Bar Big Kahuna Spots Infinity Bar BRGC@Bar80 Cheeky Monkey Sabai Bar Kom Hom Bar Coopers 94 Pits Cafe 2 The Breeze Jaew Bar Sabai Sabai

P 18 18 18 18 18 17 18 17 17 18 18 18 18 19 19 17

W 18 15 14 14 13 10 10 9 8 7 6 6 4 4 3 2

D 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0

L 0 3 4 4 5 7 8 8 9 11 12 12 14 15 16 15

+/141 136 108 68 54 17 0 -31 -33 -10 -34 -45 -72 -115 -109 -75

Pts 36 30 28 28 26 20 20 18 16 14 12 12 8 8 6 4

P 13 13 12 12 11 12 11 13 13 12 13 13

W 12 9 9 9 5 4 4 4 3 4 2 1

D 1 2 1 0 1 2 2 1 3 0 3 0

L 0 2 2 3 5 6 5 8 7 8 8 12

+/- Pts 94 25 34 20 30 19 63 18 -8 11 -7 10 -16 10 -20 9 -22 9 -30 8 -34 7 -84 2

Friends of Hua Hin Wednesday Pool League

results week 13 17th may 2017 Bobby’s Beauties 9 - 11 T.K. Roadhouse Dara’s Bar v Tik’s Bar n/a High Five Bar 5 - 15 Breeze Bar Master Cues 18 - 2 Bobby’s Bangers Muan Bar 7 - 13 Sunset Boulevard Mucky Duck 12 - 8 Bob’s TK Bar

Fixtures week 14 24th may 2017 Bobby’s Bangers v Bobby’s Beauties Breeze Bar v Master Cues Dara’s Bar v High Five Bar Sunset Boulevard v Mucky Duck T.K. Roadhouse v Muan Bar Tik’s Bar v Bob’s TK Bar

League Table Team Master Cues T.K. Roadhouse Mucky Duck Breeze Bar Dara’s Bar Bob’s TK Bar Tik’s Bar Bobby’s Beauties Sunset Boulevard Muan Bar Bobby’s Bangers High Five Bar

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pool leagues

results Week 14 15th may 2017 Aonzy v High Five n/a Darren D 5 - 2 Cha E Clansmen v Kom Hom n/a Derek M 2 - 5 Axel X Dara Bar v Master Cue n/a Mario E 2 - 5 Dang W Jungle Juice v Sunset Boulevard n/a Marko W 3 - 5 Shawn C Michel C 5 - 3 Mark L Pit’s Cafe v Jaew Bar n/a The Connection v Tore’s Bar n/a Paul G 5 - 3 Hung J The Squealing Pig v Muan Bar n/a Phil D 5 - 3 Bom P

results week 15 14th may 2017 division 2 division 1

results week 2 11th may Bobby’s Boys 13 - 8 Ba Na Na Bar Cheeky Monkey 8 - 13 Mucky Duck Drink & Shelter 7 - 14 Tiki Bar Fin Bar 12 - 9 Home High Five 10 - 11 Bobby’s Birds Lanla Bar 5 - 16 Pits Cafe Le Kiss Bar 11 - 10 Rin Bar Star Bar 11 - 10 Hut Bar Tap House Bar 18 - 3 Arilds Bar

Andy K 3 - 7 Korn P Derrick B 7 - 6 Prj P Hampi L 4 - 7 Job S Kwan K 6 - 7 Brian N Pek K 7 - 4 Thong P Peter J 7 - 5 Lieven P Tim W 5 - 7 Gent T Tong YN 7 - 1 Brian C Steve R 3 - 5 Paul B

Fixtures Week 15 22nd may 2017 High Five v The Squealing Pig Jaew Bar v Aonzy Kom Hom v Jungle Juice League Tables Master Cue v Clansmen division 2 division 1 Sunset Boulevard v Muan Bar Player P +/- Pts Player P +/- Pts The Connection v Pit’s Cafe Paul G 15 31 26 Tong YN 15 44 28 Tore’s Bar v Dara Bar

Fixtures

The season is over. Congratulations to Tong and Paul for winning their respective divisions.

Details of any post-season and the new season will appear here when available.

Fixtures Week 4 25th May 2017 Bobby’s Boys v Lanla Bar Cheeky Monkey v Bobby’s Birds Drink & Shelter v Rin Bar Fin Bar v Hut Bar High Five v Home Le Kiss Bar v Arilds Bar Muan Bar v Pits Cafe Star Bar v Ba Na Na Bar Tap House Bar v The Dream Tiki Bar v Mucky Duck League Table Team Tiki Bar Pits Cafe Fin Bar Tap House Bar High Five Le Kiss Bar Mucky Duck Bobby’s Birds Cheeky Monkey Lanla Bar Drink & Shelter Star Bar Muan Bar Bobby’s Boys Home Hut Bar Ba Na Na Bar Arilds Bar Rin Bar The Dream

P 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 1 2 2 2 2 2 2 1

W 2 2 2 1 1 2 2 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 0 0 0 0 0 0

L 0 0 0 1 1 0 0 1 1 1 1 1 0 1 2 2 2 2 2 1

+/22 14 12 12 8 6 6 0 0 -4 -6 -6 13 -8 -8 -10 -14 -16 -16 -5

hua hin/khao takiab ladies Pool League

hua hin star Pool League

hua hin khao takiab super Pool League

Pts 32 28 27 27 25 24 24 21 21 19 18 18 17 17 17 16 14 13 13 8

Korn P Kwan K Job S Peter J Brian N Pek K Derrick B Andy K Lieven P Thong P Hampi L Prj P Gent T Brian C Tim W

15 15 15 15 15 15 15 15 15 15 15 15 15 15 15

24 30 14 12 11 8 5 4 -1 -4 -13 -13 -26 -52 -43

22 20 20 20 20 18 16 16 14 12 10 8 8 6 2

Dang W Paul B Phil D Hung J Bom P Marko W Darren D Steve R Shawn C Cha E Axel X Mark L Mario E Michel C Derek M

15 15 15 15 15 15 15 15 15 15 15 15 15 15 15

35 23 22 6 7 3 2 -7 -9 -9 -13 -15 -16 -30 -30

24 24 20 18 16 16 16 14 12 12 12 10 8 8 4

League Table Team Muan Bar Jungle Juice The Connection Master Cue Sunset Boulevard Kom Hom Dara Bar Tore’s Bar Pit’s Cafe Clansmen Jaew Bar Squealing Pig High Five Aonzy

P 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 11 12 11

W 10 9 9 8 7 6 6 3 4 3 3 3 1 0

D L +/1 1 66 2 1 52 1 2 48 3 1 46 3 2 26 3 3 34 2 4 10 2 7 -4 0 8 -36 1 8 -6 1 8 -36 1 7 -48 1 10 -78 1 10 -74

Pts 21 20 19 19 17 15 14 8 8 7 7 7 3 1

102 & 88 saturday POOL LEAGUE

results Week 4 13th may 2017 Bobby’s Bar 6 - 12 Master Ques Silver Fox 6 - 12 Mucky Duck League tablE Team Mucky Duck Bobby’s Bar Master Ques Silver Fox

P W D L 4 3 0 1 4 3 0 1 4 1 0 3 4 1 0 3

FIXTURES Week 5 20th may 2017 Mucky Duck v Master Ques Silver Fox v Bobby’s Bar

+/8 2 -4 -6

Pts 40 37 34 33

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english premier league table

(all times Thailand)

Saturday 20th may 2017 SCOTTISH PREMIERSHIP - PLAYOFF SEMI-FINAL Falkirk v Dundee United (agg 2-2) 01:45 SCOTTISH PREMIERSHIP Hamilton Academical v Dundee 21:00 Inverness Cal. Th. v Motherwell 21:00 Kilmarnock v Ross County 21:00 Sunday 21st May 2017 PREMIER LEAGUE Arsenal v Everton 21:00 Burnley v West Ham United 21:00 Chelsea v Sunderland 21:00 Hull City v Tottenham Hotspur 21:00 Leicester City v Bournemouth 21:00 Liverpool v Middlesbrough 21:00 Manchester Utd v Crystal Palace 21:00 Southampton v Stoke City 21:00 Swansea City v West Brom. 21:00 Watford v Manchester City 21:00 SCOTTISH PREMIERSHIP Celtic v Heart of Midlothian 18:30 Partick Thistle v Aberdeen 18:30 St Johnstone v Rangers 18:30 Thursday 25th May 2017 UEFA EUROPA LEAGUE - FINAL Ajax v Manchester United 01:45

football

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20

Team Chelsea Tottenham Man City Liverpool Arsenal Man Utd Everton Southampton West Brom Bournemouth Leicester West Ham Crystal Palace Stoke Burnley Watford Swansea Hull Middlesbrough Sunderland

P GD PTS 37 48 90 36 49 80 37 36 75 37 33 73 37 31 72 36 23 65 37 20 61 36 -6 45 37 -7 45 37 -12 45 36 -10 43 37 -18 42 37 -11 41 37 -16 41 37 -15 40 37 -23 40 37 -26 38 37 -37 34 37 -23 28 37 -36 24

Tables do not include the result of the Southampton v Manchester United or Leicester City v Spurs matches

fantasy premier league - awol challenge

Team GW TOT 1 Colonial 125 2240 2 Custom Cobblers 97 2139 (200m on right after 3 Soi 102, Mr. Hua ChaHin Aming 105railway) 2094 4 FC ROCA 96 2064 5 Dannycollinz 105 2019 6 Lost Cafe 56 1981 7 The Dada Donkeys 47 1935 8 Frankies 11 69 1920 9 Atletico Pathetico 80 1912 10 jamboshuahin 65 1853 11 JR BRUTD S.C 86 1839 12 Rentmythaivilla 67 1818 13 Waste Of Money 62 1810 14 Portsmouth City FC 60 1750 15 Hua Hin Jambos 59 1746 16 Pink Panther AFC 35 1716 17 Wanderlust United 55 1699 18 Doghill Growlers 39 1695 19 Stenhousemuir 77 1690 20 AWOL Wanderers 96 1623 21 Nuo_divers 47 1545 22 shortimeagain 87 1540 23 Dans Demons 24 1509

Featured Game

Sunday 21st May 2017 PREMIER LEAGUE Arsenal v Everton 21:00 With all other issues decided, the only question mark left is which two of three teams will be in the top four out of Arsenal, Liverpool and Manchester City. City only need a draw at Watford, Liverpool need to match Arsenal’s result, with the Reds at home to already relegated Middlesbrough, and Arsenal at home to Everton, who themselves cannot change their position of seventh. Given the Gunner’s recent run we expect them to win, but all in vain as the others should too. And that may well seal Arsene Wenger’s fate - we think he will walk away if they fail to qualify for the Champion’s League, as this may also result in a number of players also leaving, and make it more difficult to attract the players they need for a title push.

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still standing

Rooney to stay at Old trafford as statue outside club shop

••

uk WAYNE Rooney has pledged to remain at Old Trafford next season, completely immobile and immortalised in brass.

The England striker has moved to quash speculation that he may find a new club this summer, instead insisting that he will stay with Manchester United, albeit in a strictly ornamental sense.

Jose Mourinho said: “Over the years, we’ve seen Rooney’s role evolve from a goal-getting striker to a deep-lying forward to a bench warmer, so it makes sense that his next move is to become an inanimate cast outside the club shop.

“People could hang their umbrellas on his arm.

“Of course there will be some nostalgia as Wayne is slowly entombed in his mould and coated in 200-degree celsius molten brass, but despite his screams of agony we all know it’s a great opportunity for him.

We feel the scene will be reminiscent of

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NOW OPEN EVERY DAY FROM 3PM TO LATE Extensive Thai & Western Menu Full Size Brunswick Pool Table Live Sports - Car Park Covered Open Air Lounge City Style With Local Prices Available for Functions & Parties

Left: The Star Wars creators are considering filming the entombment of Wayne Rooney for a future episode of the long running franchise Han Solo in Star Wars, and tickets will go on sale tomorrow.”

Rooney said: “It’s a real sign of faith in my ability to maintain one position for an indefinite period of time.”

He added, “It will also see me maintain my glorious mop of hair for eternity.”

A supporter’s spokesman, David Trafford, from London, said, “The fans are fully behind the decision to keep Wayne at Old Trafford, although we do think he might be better used as a gargoyle at the gates of the ground.”

Open every day from 2pm - late Two 9‘ Brunswick pool tables in an air con room - well known Hua Hin player Job is part of the dedicated staff; he will give you free lessons

Thai and Western food

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Tel. 086 524 1132, 083 833 1141 To find us go to Google maps and put Like Our Facebook Page! in Pit’s Cafe and Pool for directions Located on Soi 6 in Borfai 500m past Located in Dusitland 8 soi 94 Wat Borfai (Temple), on the right Facebook Pits-Cafe Tel. 084 729 5030