FOR THE EXPAT IN ALL OF US! ISSUE 449 13th October 2017
ABSENT WITH OUT LEAVE IN THE LAND OF SMILES
FREE
EVERY FRIDAY SINCE 2008
the original and best!
GET RACING FROM ONLY 400 BAHT! OPEN EVERYDAY 10.30AM - 7PM
Call 032 547 199 (Office) or 081 817 3000 (Mobile) Located on Soi 2, Phetchkasem Road opposite Hua Hin Airport
www.gokarthuahin.com info@gokarthuahin.com
Victor’s
open 24/7
Wide range of rooms in the heart of Hua Hin a/c, lcd tv, dvd player, fridge, free premium wifi, cable TV victorguesthouse@gmail.com 032 511564 60 Naresdamri Road, Hua Hin
P A N AMA BAR
Good Times Every Night A DJ To Save Your Life
butt out
smokers face stiff penalties for littering beaches
•The• Marine and Coastal Resources Department plans to ban smoking on twenty beaches around the thailand
country next month, including those in Hua Hin and Khao Takiab, after research revealed the extent of the problem of discarded cigarette butts. An examination of just nine square metres of Patong Beach on Phuket by the department’s Phuket Marine Biological Centre found an average 0.76 butts per square metre, which translated into 101,058 butts along the 2.5km beach. Department director-general Jatuporn Buruspat also said it was estimated that more than 100 million cigarette butts were left on the roads in the major cities of Thailand each day. This greatly added to the problem of unnecessary flooding caused by rubbish clogging the drains. He said Phuket, Prachuap Khiri Khan, Chon Buri and Songkhla provinces had agreed to jointly invoke Section 17 of the 2015 law on marine and beach resources management as a trial measure. All other beaches were expected to be included into this ban in the future, he said. “Smokers will be required to drop their cigarette butts in provided containers before they enter these beaches” Mr Jatuporn said. Those found flouting the ban could face a maximum penalty of a year in prison and/or a fine of 100,000 baht. The department are also considering measures to curb a related problem - cigarette butts being dropped into the sea from the boats, and AWOL believes this should be extended to include all littering by boats; however, as always, enforcing any measures is the key to making them effective, as well as a change in attitude from those who have been guilty of the practice. We would suggest a properly funded national campaign to educate everybody, similar to what has been carried out in many western nations, regarding the need to dispose of all rubbish responsibly, as well as ensuring facilities, such as regularly emptied bins, are actually easily accessible.
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Affordable Health Insurance from 50 baht per day with thai-health.com Contact andreas@thai-health.com
local listings
accommodation Tel.
Property Tel.
sports & leisure Tel.
Restaurants/Food Tel.
All Nations Guesthouse Victor Guesthouse
081 587 0938
Go Kart Hua Hin
032 512 747 032 511 564 032 547 199
Bars & Pubs Tel.
Bobby’s Bar Double D Father Teds Lucky Shot Panama Bar Thip’s Bar Wooden House
Services & other Tel.
Asian Secure Legal Services Hua Hin Siam Consulting thai-health.com
086 504 6405 084 881 8396 032 512 075
087 155 7737 080 652 0531 032 514 448 086 178 1550
Hot Property Lucky Real Estate
081 587 0938 082 298 0500
British Breakfast Foods Dizzy Dolphin Hua Hin Ham & Bacon Passport Cafe The Palm Bistro
087 155 7737 091 407 6854 032 513 144 093 139 9655 032 828 144
090 962 6758 091 449 4551
Tel. 091 407 6854 Free appetisers & Happy Hour prices during ALL live EPL matches Happy Hour all drinks 3 - 8.30 pm Food available from 3 - 10 pm. Try our extensive Thai & Western menu
Located in Samorphrong Turn right before the 7-11 & we are 200 m up on the right 19 Damnernkasem Road, Hua Hin Ph: 032 514448 Opposite the Police station
Live Music 7 nights a week Open for Breakfast from 9am Live sport on HD screens Chang, Guinness, Tiger, Carlsberg, San Mig Light, Magners & Kilkenny on Draught
HAPPY HOURS MON - FRI 9AM - 6PM don't miss in october LADIES NIGHT EVERY THURSDAY Buy 1 Get One Free on Cocktails LADS NIGHT EVERY FRIDAY Enjoy Happy Hour prices on our entire draught selection
For more information on Events and Special offers Call 032 514448
More than 12 years in Hua Hin
BOBBY’’S BAR
Find us on Soi 102
087 155 7737 or 089 985 7473
New Sunday Menu
Sunday Roast, with Chicken, Pork or Lamb. Plus Yorkshire Pudding, Roast & Mash Potatoes, Cabbage, Carrots, Parsley and Gravy. Includes Dessert of Apple or Blueberry Pie, or Fried Bananas with Ice Cream All Free when you spend 250Bt or more on Beers, Wine Or Cocktails
Home of Bobby’s British Breakfast Foods
UK Sausages, Ham, Bacon, Pies, Teas etc.
Affordable Health Insurance from 50 baht per day with thai-health.com Contact andreas@thai-health.com
AWOL WITH..
YunYun
Photos coutesy of Haribo
Join our Sunday Lunch Club and start earning your free Roast Dinner
Opening times Tuesday till Saturday 10.30 till 14.30, 17.30 till 21.00 Sunday 13.00 till 17.00 Tel. 032 828 144 Web: thepalmbistro.com thepalmbistro@gmail.com Located at Orchid Palm Homes 4 1043 Road, Tabtai, Hua Hin
090 962 6758
Thip’s Bar
Your Friendly Local In Samorphrong
Open every day from 1pm - late
Happy Hour until 8pm (small beers 50 baht, large beers 70 baht)
DHouble D H !2-8 Soi 6, Borfai, Hua Hin Tel. 080 652 0531
appy
our
pm
Buy 2 Get 1 Free on all small domestic beers Large domestic beers 75 bt Wine 60 bt San Mig / Heineken 70 bt Sangsom + mixer 50 bt
LIVE SPORTS TV
Pool Table Open 2pm - Late
Located off the canal road; at the Soi 6 traffic lights go across the bridge over the canal & turn immediately right. We are about 600 m further on the right, 100 m past the temple, directly behind the small brown Buddha house.
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weather & tides World weather (12-10-17)
Local Forecast AND TIDES
Rain (mm) Conditions Temp. °C Tides CITY Weather High H L 1st 2nd 3rd 4th °C SA 4 Some t-storms 31 25 03:17 1.3m 08:48 2.5m 14:42 1.8m 15:03 2.5m Amsterdam Passing clouds 15 SU 4 Cloudy; a t-storm 29 25 03:18 1.4m 07:23 2.4m 14:22 1.7m 16:04 2.5m Ankara Passing clouds 17 MO 2 Cloudy; a t-storm 29 25 03:19 1.4m 06:30 2.4m 14:43 1.6m 16:41 2.5m Athens Sunny 25 TU 10 Showers 29 25 03:18 1.4m 06:06 2.5m 15:09 1.6m 17:10 2.5m Auckland Passing clouds 13 WE 9 Cloudy; a little rain 28 24 03:15 1.4m 05:58 2.5m 15:35 1.5m 17:33 2.5m Beijing Overcast 10 TH 5 A thunderstorm 30 25 03:12 1.5m 05:59 2.6m 16:01 1.5m 17:51 2.4m Berlin Broken clouds 15 FR 2 A thunderstorm 31 25 03:10 1.5m 06:06 2.6m 16:26 1.5m 18:05 2.4m Buenos Aires Clouds and sun 13 Cairo Scattered clouds 27 Chicago Overcast 14 thailand weather (12-10-17) Copenhagen Scattered clouds 11 Dubai Clear 33 Place Temp Hum Conditions Place Temp Hum Conditions Dublin Partly sunny 15 Nakhon Sawan 28 °C 87% Scattered Clds Aranyaprathet 29 °C 86% Mist Helsinki Light rain 8 26 °C 91% Partly Cldy Ban A To 26 °C 88% Scattered Clds Nan Ho Chi Minh City Mostly cloudy 34 Nang Rong 27 °C 89% Scattered Clds Ban Baen Chado 28 °C 89% Partly Cldy Hong Kong Passing clouds 29 Narathiwat 26 °C 81% Mist Ban Bang Bamru 28 °C 89% Partly Cldy Islamabad Haze 29 Nong Khai 26 °C 85% Partly Cldy Ban Bang Duan 28 °C 89% Partly Cldy Istanbul Sunny 20 Pattani 26 °C 89% Mist Ban Bua Chum 27 °C 86% Overcast Jakarta Passing clouds 27 Pattaya 27 °C 84% Partly Cldy Ban Fai Na 25 °C 94% Mostly Cldy Jerusalem Mild 24 Phayao 25 °C 95% Scattered Clds Ban Hua Tho 28 °C 89% Partly Cldy Johannesburg Passing clouds 24 Phetchabun 27 °C 91% Overcast Ban Ko Thung 25 °C 88% Mist Karachi Haze 34 Phetchaburi 28 °C 82% Scattered Clds Ban Krathing Lai 27 °C 93% Partly Cldy Kuala Lumpur Partly cloudy 26 Phitsanulok 30 °C 70% Scattered Clds Ban Na Si Nuan 27 °C 84% T-storm London Partly sunny 17 Phrae 26 °C 89% Clear Ban Nong Pladuk 28 °C 79% Clear Madrid Sunny 29 Phuket 25 °C 94% Mostly Cldy Ban Samphan 25 °C 96% Light Rain Manila Passing clouds 27 Prachin Buri 29 °C 91% Mist Bangkok 28 °C 79% Partly Cldy Mexico City Scattered clouds 14 Prach. Khirikhan 28 °C 77% Scattered Clds Chaiyaphum 26 °C 96% Partly Cldy Moscow Fog 9 Ranong 26 °C 89% Partly Cldy Chanthaburi 26 °C 87% Mist Mumbai Passing clouds 29 Rayong 27 °C 84% Partly Cldy Chawang 26 °C 96% Mist New Delhi Haze 32 Roi Et 25 °C 94% Partly Cldy Chiang Mai 25 °C 83% Mostly Cldy New York Overcast 14 Samui 28 °C 79% Partly Cldy Chiang Rai 29 °C 79% Partly Cldy Oslo Cool 12 Sattahip 27 °C 87% Rain Chok Chai 26 °C 96% Partly Cldy Paris Broken clouds 19 26 °C 89% Mostly Cldy Chumphon 27 °C 89% Scattered Clds Satun Perth Clear 14 Songkhla 26 °C 81% Overcast Kam Paeng Phet 28 °C 87% Phnom-Penh Partly cloudy 33 Sukhothai 29 °C 86% Partly Cldy Kamalasai 27 °C 84% T-storm Rio De Janeiro Clear 27 Suphan Buri 28 °C 89% Partly Cldy Kanchanaburi 28 °C 83% Mist Riyadh Sunny 34 Surat Thani 25 °C 100% Partly Cldy Khanom 28 °C 79% Partly Cldy Rome Passing clouds 24 Surin 27 °C 86% Mist Khlong Yai 27 °C 85% T-storm San Francisco Passing clouds 11 28 °C 91% Mist Ko Lanta 26 °C 97% Scattered Clds Tak Seoul Clear 8 Takua Pa 24 °C 10% Mostly Cldy Ko Samui 28 °C 79% Partly Cldy Shanghai Mostly cloudy 17 Tha Tum 26 °C 83% Mist Ko Sichang 28 °C 79% Partly Cldy Singapore Light rain 27 Tha Wang Pha 26 °C 89% Mist Krabi 25 °C 94% Partly Cldy Stockholm Broken clouds 13 26 °C 95% Scattered Clds Lampang 26 °C 83% Scattered Clds Thoen Sydney Passing clouds 17 Thong Pha Phum 26 °C 94% Mist Lamphun 24 °C 98% Mostly Cldy Taibei/Taipei Light rain 27 Thung Chang 25 °C 94% Mist Loei 25 °C 91% Overcast Tokyo Mild 20 Trang 26 °C 89% Scattered Clds Lop Buri 28 °C 89% Partly Cldy Vancouver Sprinkles 8 Trat 29 °C 79% Mostly Cldy Mae Hong Son 27 °C 88% Overcast Vientiane Fog 31 Ubon Ratchathani 27 °C 89% Scattered Clds Mae Sariang 26 °C 88% Mist Yangon Passing clouds 28 Udon Thani 25 °C 100% Scattered Clds Mae Sot 26 °C 93% Mostly Cldy Zurich Mild 19 Umphang 25 °C 86% Mist Mukdahan 26 °C 83% Clear Nakhon Phanom 28 °C 79% Clear Nak. Ratchasima 27 °C 82% Partly Cldy
Uttaradit Wichian Buri
28 °C 83% Scattered Clds 27 °C 82% Mist
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- Reinforced steel & Fire-resistant concrete strong room - Vault door with auto-generated dynamic passcode - Fingerprint scanning with Face detection - Deposit boxes with dual locks - 24/7 Monitoring of alarm & CCTV - 24 Hr Protection by a leading Thai security company
4 SIZES OF SAFE BOXES
TYPE W x D x H (mm)
PRICE PER YEAR
A
133 X 93 X 450
4400 THB (+7% VAT)
B
210 x 93 x 450
6600 THB (+7% VAT)
C
290 x 130 x 450 10,900 THB (+7% VAT)
D
440 x 205 x 450 14,900 THB (+7% VAT) Key Deposit: 2000 THB
For more information please contact us:
Tel. 086-3547352 (TH), 086-5046405 (EN/FR) Email asiansecure01@gmail.com
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sudoku Each week we have an easy and a hard Sudoku puzzle. Just fill in the empty squares so that each horizontal and vertical line, and each section, has all the numbers 1 to 9.
Puzzle 1 (Easy)
advertise here for just 360 baht per week (when booked for 13 issues)
Last issue’s solutions Puzzle 1
Puzzle 2 (Hard)
Puzzle 2
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ALL NATIONS
hua hin
guesthouse and bar 12 rooms from 350 baht a night free wifi for guests 032 512747
allnationshuahin@ gmail.com Drop your AWOL Classifieds in here
advertise your business here for less than 100 baht per week (13 issue run)
puzzles codeword
Each letter in this puzzle is represented by a number 1-26. Can you crack the code and solve the crossword? Every letter of the alphabet is used at least once. Two or three letters are already in place to get you started. Use the 1-26 small grid to keep track.
Last Issue’s Solution
Apologies for the repeated puzzle in last week’s issue.
A N
B O
C P
D Q
E R
F S
G H T U
I J K V W X
L Y
M Z
crossword Across 5 Where actors can relax in the theatre (5,4) 8, 9 I wish (but it won’t happen!) (4,5,3) 9 See 8 10 Arrest (6) 11 Sport associated with Henley (6) 13 Old medicine — shy pic (anag) (6) 15 Robust (6) 16 Rise and fall like waves (8) 18 Tax (4) 19 Device for making home movies (9)
The solution to last week’s puzzle is on page 19.
Down 1 Enter another’s property unlawfully (8) 2 Unwanted creature(s) (6) 3 19th-century Afrikaner statesman (6) 4 Job — letters — stake in ground (4) 6 See 14 7 Tryst with person unknown (5,4) 12 See 14 14, 12, 6 I wish (but it won’t happen!) (6,5,2,1,4,5) 15 Fortified wine (6) 17 US state (4)
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area 555 Got some great jokes? Send them to us on submissions@awolonline.net
••
deadline I’ve been given two weeks to live. The wife’s gone away for a fortnight
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bladerunner Does it matter if you haven’t seen the previous 2048 Bladerunners?
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someone new My wife said “if anything happens to me, I want you to find someone new” Turns out “anything” doesn’t include being stuck in the traffic.
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world cup Trying to book flights to Moscow for the World Cup next summer. All the flights from Heathrow and Gatwick are fully booked. Then I found out there are loads of flights available from Glasgow airport.
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murder I told my wife that I had murdered someone the other day. She said I should turn myself in to the Police. I’ve put on a Police uniform and it looks like suicide to me.
So you want to advertise in AWOL?
This size (Quarter page) is just 450 baht per week (based on a 13 week run, paid in advance)
To find out more, email sales@awolonline.net, or call 081 649 8361
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temptation I was a happy man. My girlfriend and I had been dating for a year and we had decided to get married. The planning went wonderfully. Both sets of parents helped us in every way. My friends were all happy for me and my girlfriend - she was a dream! There was only one thing deeply bothering me. That one thing was her younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was vivacious, only twenty years old and drop-dead gorgeous. One day, the sister-in-law to be, called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived. She whispered to me that it was not long to the wedding day, that she had strong desires for me that she couldn’t and didn’t really want to overcome! She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister. I was in total shock. She said, “I’m going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want to, just come up and get me.” I was stunned, frozen in shock as I watched her wiggle her way up the stairs. I stood there for a moment then turned and went straight to the front door. I opened the door and walked straight towards my car. Standing on the front path was my future father-in-law. With tears in his eyes, he hugged me and said, “Well done! Wonderful! We’re so happy that you have passed our little test of temptation. We couldn’t ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family!” The moral of this story is.. Always keep your condoms in the car.
“Doing business without advertising is like winking at a girl in the dark. You know what you are doing but nobody else does.”
Wink with AWOL 081 649 8361
to hull and back Restaurant & Bakery in Samorphrong
OPEN 11am - 9pm every day (Closed Tuesdays) Delicious Home Cooked Western & Thai Food daily specials - check our blackboard Breakfasts - Fresh Bread Baked Daily Free Wi-Fi - Easy Parking Contact us on 093 139 9655 or food@passportcafehuahin.com
Menu on passportcafehuahin.com and Facebook page Passport-Cafe Directions: From Hua Hin go north on the Klong (Canal) Road through the traffic lights and turn left at the blue bridge with the water tower next to it, then immediately right before the 7-11. Follow this road for approximately 1.5 km and you will find us on the right opposite Tropical Hill.
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leaders of the pack Back in 1925, October 13th marked the birth of Margaret Thatcher. Moving quickly on, another ex Prime Minister is said to be enjoying a spot of cooking with friends in London, while she ponders where to apply for political asylum. Should it be the UK, where her big brother already has a property she could squat in? Or perhaps Germany or France. I’m sure she will sort something out, but for the time being wonder whether one of those friends cooking with Yingluck is Jamie Oliver. The celebrity chef has bought the ultimate in Boys Toys recently, a customised Jaguar Land Rover which serves as a mobile kitchen. Clearly the days of a primus stove in the boot of a Morris Minor are long gone. This piece of eye wateringly expensive engineering is far removed from most peoples’ ideas of roadside catering, with a fridge, a slow cooker nestling beside the engine, pasta maker and rotisserie, and a herb garden in the rear window. A 5 foot long worktop pulls out from the rear of the vehicle to provide a gas hob and sink (no more dabbling the dirty pots in a stream for Jamie.) But the ultimate additions have to be the wheel mounted ice cream and butter churners. Just imagine the sheer joy of being able to produce 5 litres of ice cream and 15 litres of butter while doing the school run. Then fall back to earth and ask yourselves - why? On reflection it does seem quite unlikely that Jamie will be found parked outside the Shinawatra London residence, because there is no mention of a built in wok. And the built in toaster is only a two slicer, which seems a bit mean. Added to that are the risks involved in driving while toasting, which could necessitate a whole new addition to the statute books, since the toaster is mounted between the front seats. He could of course operate an upwardly mobile soup kitchen, or use the Range Rover to do one of those chefy world tours. A posh version of the Hairy Bikers. Stopping off to park up by the side of Surawang Road and sell kebabs, (the rotisserie wouldn’t be big enough for the traditional pig, and there is no wok or rice cooker.) That idea is probably fraught with problems though, as a sidewalk Range Rover food outlet operated by a farang would contravene just about every rule in the Bangkok Book of How To Get Deported. Which raises yet another question - don’t all those celebrity chefs who visit other countries demonstrating what they can do with exotic foreign ingredients ever need work permits? But back to Yinglucks’ asylum quandary, surely Spain would be
the perfect place. It would have to be Catalonia of course, where she could become a potential candidate to lead a revolution. There wouldn’t even be a need for a work permit, because she would be making up the rules as she went along. And finally, a tale from a London sewer to make you feel proud of Hua Hin’s drains and beaches. A 130 tonne ‘fatberg’, found to be clogging up one of Londons’ sewers, and consisting of compacted human waste, wet wipes, sanitary products and other grotty substances, has created quite a stir. One London museum wants a piece of it to exhibit, and a biodiesel company wants to transform some of it into clean fuel. So far there is no news of the unfortunate person who had the job of weighing the blockage.
advertise here for just 360 baht per week (when booked for 13 issues)
Contact AWOL now on 081 649 8361
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your stars Banchang Utapao VFW Post 12146
Become A Member Of The Number One Vfw Post In Thailand & The Pacific Areas
www.banchangvfwpost12146.org Contact: Dan Morgan (Membership Chairman) danwmorgan@gmail.com or Larry Williams (VFW Service Officer) quam1willi@yahoo.com
Capricorn Dec 22 - Jan 19
Faith is the evidence of things not seen, which any wellrounded human being must admit is better than only trusting good hard provable evidence.
Aquarius Jan 20 – Feb 18
Taurus Apr 21 – May 21
Virgo Aug 23 – Sep 22
Outside influences will Vast and mighty cosmic forces attempt to bedazzle you stemming from the twelve with strange mathematics majestic signs of the Zodiac and exotic rhetoric about a have conspired to foresee travel strange new sign in the sky, in your future. That’s right, twelve majestic preventing you from meeting a dark-haired signs, not thirteen. stranger.
This is a good week to spend with family, which is the Gemini May 22 – June 21 kind of advice stupid old Just as the ancient Ohpiuchus would never have Babylonians were wise to given you. restrict the telling of the future to a mere dozen signs, you would be wise to start new projects at Pisces Feb 19 – Mar 20 Wait, if an existing work this week. constellation has that great an effect on one’s destiny, Cancer Jun 22 – Jul 22 then why didn’t anyone make Saturn rising in your sign a fuss about Eris, Sedna will subject you to the and Quaoar, the planet-sized objects in the powerful force of Fate, which Kuiper belt? everybody knows is stronger by far than electromagnetism, gravity, or the ARIES Mar 21 - Apr 20 nuclear strong and weak forces. Love is strong in your sign this week. Please be advised that, Leo Jul 23 – Aug 22 precession of the equinoxes or This would be a good time to not, this is still your sign. beware of those who would
Libra Sep 23 – Oct 23
do.
Learn to trust your heart. No one ever grew spiritually as a person by doing what the numbers and the science clearly indicate they should
Scorpio Oct 24 – Nov 21
You know what’s a stupid name for a Zodiac sign? Ohpiuchus. It certainly doesn’t sound like a sign that would warn you not to make big financial decisions until the full moon.
Sagittarius Nov 22 – Dec 21
make major changes to your yourself. dearly-held belief systems.
Stand your ground if you and a colleague don’t see eye to eye, even if it means you have to open up the sutures
english corner
••
A section for all you budding etymologists where each week the origin of a word or phrase is investigated. This week it is.... Urban myth A story, generally untrue but sometimes one that is merely exaggerated or sensationalise, that gains the status of folklore by continual retelling. Such stories, which may be old and cliché-ridden, are often given a degree of plausibility by being updated in a contemporary setting, or by the teller’s claims of personal involvement. The words used in the little term ‘urban myth’ are contentious in themselves, so let’s start there. Why ‘urban’? The setting of these stories isn’t limited to cities; for example, the Vanishing Hitch-hiker tale is usually set on some deserted back road. The stories that fall in the ‘urban myth’ category aren’t limited to city life - they are those that are set in contemporary industrialized societies, as distinct from traditional folklore tales. Then there’s ‘myth’. Many students of this field prefer the terms ‘urban legend’ or ‘urban folklore’. ‘Myth’ implies that the stories are all false and, whilst most of them clearly are, some may contain elements of truth. In fact, one of the essential factors in a plausible retelling is the introduction of real events; top of that list of course being the claim that ‘I was really there - it happened to me’. If the teller wasn’t there then you can be sure that a ‘FOAF’ (friend of a friend) was. This word has now also entered the language via these stories and has its own definition in the Oxford English Dictionary. Perhaps a name that is nearer to being definitive of this form of story would be ‘contemporary legend’. Another source of dispute is the origin of all of these terms.
Mythology and the need to tell tall tales are obviously ancient, but the term ‘urban myth’ isn’t especially old. A version of it dates from 1960, when it was used by William H. Friedland in conference paper titled Some Urban Myths of East Africa. Likewise, the term ‘urban legend’ was put in print as early as 1925, when it appeared in a New York Times piece headed ‘Europe’s Population Growth’: “Around the subject of population there has been a growth of popular legend hard to remove. Great Britain illustrates the urban legend.” This ‘urban legend’ citation isn’t the contemporary meaning but refers to stories about urban life in Great Britain that were mythical. The first reference found to ‘urban legend’ in the sense we mean here is Richard M. Dorson Our Living Traditions, 1968: “Urban legends deal with the ghostly hitchhiker, the stolen grandmother, and the death car.” One of the first of the ‘urban myths’, and surely now a classic, is the tale of alligators living in New York City’s sewers. This is the first story that describes an actual urban myth and the source of the belief was a borderline insane scheme by Little Rock Council to buy alligators from New York and use them to chase away beavers. This was printed in The Frederick Post, August 1984: ‘The ordinance authorized the mayor to negotiate “at arms length” with New York City officials for the alligators, which urban myth says thrive in the city’s sewer system.’
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Restaurant Thai Food
Live Sports
SMALL Beers
Singha 50 Chang, Leo 45
Big BEERS
Leo, Chang 70 Heineken 85 30 bt Coffee FREE REFILL
Thai Original Massage
wooden house SPORTS PUB
open 8 am to midnight
Located in Samortan Village off Canal Road - turn for Taweeporn Tel. 091 449 4551 Condotel and follow road for 350 m - look for orange awning
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classifieds Business
all nations guesthouse, bar & restaurant for sale. 14 rooms (10 ensuite with aircon, balcony, TV, fridge and safe). Town centre location, over 20 years established, 5 years remaining of lease with next 2 years rent fixed at 65,000 baht, following 3 years fixed at 70,000 baht. Price now reduced again to 1.5 million baht includes everything - furniture, fixtures, fittings, stock, and if required a Thai company. Price is negotiable and recently reduced from 2.5m baht. Don’t miss this once in a lifetime opportunity! Serious enquiries call us now on 081 817 3000. small guesthouse, restaurant, bar for sale. 5 bedrooms, 5 bathrooms (2 with balcony), 4 levels, private large lounge upstairs. 2 large eating/drinking areas, 2 main kitchens. Parking front and rear. Good location near condos and hotels. Rent paid up to December, rolling lease. 650,000 baht includes all equipment, appliances and furniture, internet 50 MB and 2 TVs with cable and box. For more details contact 09307 46204 (English) or email howard_coates56@yahoo.co.uk
Thriving local restaurant and premises for
sale. Two storey townhouse on a corner plot comprising a small restaurant with two kitchen areas and toilet on the ground floor, and 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms on the upper floor, located in a busy residential area with several large estates in walking distance. Reluctantly selling this excellent property and business to invest elsewhere. Price 5.2 m baht. Please call 093 139 9655.
Property Law Criminal & Civil Law Family Law Company Registration Visa & Notary Services
Contact: rita@legalserviceshuahin.com facebook.com/legalserviceshuahin Located at Makro Food services General - sports
Golf Society looking for new members. LVGS play Monday & Friday at Lake View. Membership is mixed sex and mixed handicap. Enjoyment is paramount. Regular away trips and social events. Mail: hhlvgs@ gmail.com auto
motorbike/car rent Motorbikes 250 a day, 1400 a week, 4500 a month, Cars from 900 a day, 4000 a week, 12,000 a month. Please call David on 092 927 7207 or email davidhodgins@ymail.com for more information Property for sale
Advertise your property here for just 300 baht for 12 weeks! Employment
advertise for staff here.
Property wanted
Property partner wanted
SERVICES
driving in thailand? International driving licence valid 5 years 1800 bt. Call 089 530 8771 (Eng)
Do You Want a 100% fulfilling Life? Everyone has certain aspects of their lives which they want to change. Life can get tough and overwhelming but that doesn’t mean you have to live an unsatisfactory life. Let me help you live the life of your dreams. Email rjnuis@expat-nomad-life-coaching.com or call 099-1630 747 personals
Struggling with Stress,
Anxiety, or Depression? Are most days full of sadness or worries? Everybody experiences these problems at one time or another. Local councillor available in Hua Hin to help. Email: bob@ dorchesterassociates.co.uk
to take a share (or long term rental) in a new 4th floor 1 bed condo unit completing soon at The Pine in Khao Takiab; any arrangement considered but 50% ownership preferred. Call 082 892 1266
property for Rent
the breeze condo for rent or sale available immediately. 2 bed, 2
bath, ground floor, 90sqm. 30k per month negotiable for longer lets or 5.5m sale. Call 082 892 1266
Wanted
place your WANTED ad here! announcements
make your personal or business announcement here; Weddings, Birthdays, Funerals, Obituaries, Barmitzvahs, Parties, anything!
General
single fold up bed with mattress, as new. Now reduced to 2300 baht o.n.o. Call 032 523604
Placing a classified with AWOL
All ads run for a minimum of thirteen weeks/issues. Maximum 25 words for any Single ad; longer ads possible by purchasing/using more ads. Prices: Single ad - 300 baht; Subscriptions: Basic (12 ads) - 1200 baht; Extra (36 ads) - 2700 baht; Extra Plus (72 ads) - 3600 baht. Featured (boxed) ads cost an additional 2 single ads Option 1: register or log in at www.awolonline.net/classifieds and place your advert there; Option 2: email to classifieds@awolonline.net; Option 3: Facebook users can join our Group ‘AWOL Classifieds’ and place ads there for free; Option 4: write the details clearly in BLOCK capitals on paper and mail or drop it in to our office (address on page 2) . No adverts published (except Facebook) without prior payment. Deadline for inclusion in that week’s issue is Tuesday 6pm. Please notify us on classifieds@awolonline.net or by calling 081 649 8361 if you want an ad removed before it’s due date. No refunds given for removed ads. Payment: Cash at our office; Bank transfer/deposit (online or ATM/ADM) - A/C no. 489-0-04184-2 (KTB Bank), or credit/debit cards via Paypal, or Paypal transfer; Paypal email info@awolonline.net
awol bazaar This box for 10 weeks just 800 baht
Got a Happy Hour? Tell everyone here!
Post your notice about anything here!
This box for 26 weeks just 1300 baht
advertise in this space from only 160 baht per week
(based on a 6 month run)
contact us on 081 649 8361
Contact: Tel.: 082 298 0500 E-mail: luckyrealestatehuahin@gmail.com Website: luckyhuahin.com
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS If you want to drink, that’s your business, if you want to stop, we can help.
Call to speak to an AA member:
Peo (Swedish) - 086 012 0856 Henrik - 095-950-7550 Loren - 081-007-6856 Terry aatha - 091-883-7757 iland.org www. Meetings every day in Hua Hin
AWOL BAZAAR PRICES Blocks of 4 boxes like this from only 40 baht per box/week Blocks of 8 boxes from only 35 baht per box/week Contact us on 081 649 8361 for more details
LAND FOR SALE
17 Rai in the Kui Buri area, near National Park and Yang Chum reservoir 499,000 baht per rai or 7 million for all (offers considered) Full Chanote Call 081 614 8728 for more details
NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS
A non-profit fellowship of men and women for whom drugs have become a major problem
Meetings now in Hua Hin on Sundays at 10am, Tuesdays and Thursdays at 12 noon, and every Friday at 8.30am Contact Add 086 014 7585 Andy 062 01815
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money & information overseas calls information
Useful Numbers
REVERSE CHARGE CALLS The list below is the free number to connect to an operator of that country to request the reverse charge call. ARGENTINA 001-999-54-1000/ 2000 AUSTRALIA 001-999-61-1000/2000 AUSTRIA 001-800-28787421 BAHRAIN 001-999-973-1000 BRUNEI 001-999-673-1000 CANADA 001-999-15-1000/2000 DENMARK 001-999-45-1000 FRANCE 001-999-33-1000 GERMANY 001-999-49-1000 HAWAII 001-800-865-8424 HONG KONG 001-999-852-1086 INDONESIA 001-999-62-1000/2000 ISRAEL 001-999-972-1000/ 2000 ITALY 001-999-39-1000 JAPAN 001-999-811-0051 KOREA 001-999-82-1000/ 2000/ 2001 MACAU 001-999-853-1000 MALAYSIA 001-999-60-1000/4000/ 4001 MALTA 001-999-356-1000 MEXICO 001-999-52-1000 NEPAL 001-800-977-1-9999 NETHERLANDS 001-999-31-1035 NEW ZEALAND 001-999-64-1066 PHILIPPINES 001-999-63-1000/ 3000/ 6000 PORTUGAL 001-999-351-1000 RUSSIA 001-999-7-1000 SINGAPORE 001-999-65-0000/ 2008 SOUTH AFRICA 001-999-27-1000 SPAIN 001-999-34-1066 TAIWAN 001-999-886-1000 U.A.E. 001-999-971-1000 U.K. 001-999-44-1066 U.S.A. 001-999-1-1111/ 2001/ 2002 Thanks to the staff at CAT in Hua Hin for providing the above numbers. FREE and cheap CALLS If your mobile phone or device and that of the person you are calling supports it, you can use a number of apps to make free calls anywhere, with the best known being Skype and Viber. The mobile phone operators offer special numbers to prefix an international number to get cheap rate international calls. More information call True 1331 AIS 1175 DTAC 1678
Police 191 Crime 195 Fire 199 Traffic Control Centre 197 Highway Police 1193 Tourist Police 1699 Tourist Service Centre 1155 Missing Persons 02 282 1815 Police Station 032 511 027 Tourist Police 032 516 219 Cha-Am Police 032 471 321 Bangkok Hospital 1719 Hua Hin Hospital 032 511 743 San Paulo Hospital 032 532 576 to 585 Red Cross 032 512 567 Municipality 032 532433 Tessabahn 032 511 047 Immigration 032 520 617 Bus Terminal (non air-con) 032 511 230 (air-con) 032 511654, 512543 Railway Station 032 511 073 Tourist Information 032 513 885 Electricity Office 032 512 215 Electricity Call Centre 1129 Water Office 032 511 677 TOT 032 519 000/001 TOT Call Centre 1100 TT&T 032 532 018 3BB 032-900020-1 086-0127273 3BB Call Centre 1530 CAT 032 511 350 Alcoholics Anonymous 0870 620 098 Narcotics Anonymous 084 314 1928
exchange rates (11-10-17)
Currency Baht Algerian Dinar 0.293 Argentine Peso 1.91 Australian Dollar 25.9 Bitcoin 158609 Brazilian Real 10.4 British Pound 43.9 Bulgarian Lev 20 Canadian Dollar 26.6 Chilean Peso 0.0528 Chinese Yuan 5.05 Croatian Kuna 5.23 Czech Koruna 1.52 Danish Krone 5.27 Egyptian Pound 1.89 Ethereum 9991 Euro 39.3 Hong Kong Dollar 4.25 Hungarian Forint 0.126 Iceland Krona 0.316 Indian Rupee 0.509 Indonesian Rupiah 0.0025 Iranian Rial 0.001 Israeli New Shekel 9.51 Japanese Yen 0.296 Korean Won 0.0293 Malaysian Ringgit 7.88 Mexican Peso 1.77 New Zealand Dollar 23.6 Nigerian Naira 0.0941 Norwegian Krone 4.18 Pakistan Rupee 0.316 Philippine Peso 0.645 Polish Zloty 9.14 Qatari Rial 8.95 Romanian Leu 8.56 Russian Ruble 0.573 Saudi Riyal 8.85 Serbian Dinar 0.328 Singapore Dollar 24.5 South African Rand 2.43 Local Consular Sri Lanka Rupee 0.216 Representatives Swedish Krona 4.12 Swiss Franc 34.1 CANADIAN Taiwan Dollar 1.1 Rick Pomerleau 087 153 3817 or e-mail Turkish Lira 8.96 rickpomerleau@hotmail.com UAE Dirham 9.04 FINNISH US Dollar 33.2 Mr. Sipi Siljamaeki 087-911 8119 or e-mail: Ukraine Hryvnia 1.25 suthiporn.siljamaki@gmail.com AMERICAN Mr. Christopher Byrd 081-173 4469 or e-mail: AWOL makes no warranties, express or implied, chrs@tourdeasia.org regarding these rates and shall not be liable for any losses or damages incurred in connection with them.
balloon chasers
••
Parties, special deals, regular events, celebrations and more; to get it in AWOL email submissions@awolonline. net or post it on our Balloon Chasers Facebook group. recently added and coming soon
red piano, soi kanjanomai. Happy Hour every day from 5 - 7pm BOGOF. the palm bistro, soi 88. Join their Sunday Lunch Club and start earning a free Sunday Roast (see ad p3)
siam handlebar, Phetkasem Road (opp. airport); Breakfast now available
tk roadhouse, Khao Takiab. First Tuesday of every month ‘The Best Quiz In Town’! 8 rounds, beer questions, free food. British style Sunday Roasts:
seven days a week from 9.30am to 12 Andreanna’s, Khao Takiab siam handlebar, Phetkasem Road noon. Ladies Night every Saturday; Bobby’s Bar, Soi 102 (opp. airport); Saturday 25th November from 8 to 11pm first drink free, 50% Father Teds, Damnoernkasem Road 5 to 11pm Black and Chrome Party 3 in thereafter (wine, small beer, Spy, soft Hua Hin Miss You, Soi 80 ian’s restaurant, khao takiab (099 support of Jungle Aid; live music, 350 drinks, mixers, ice only) baht entry includes free t-shirt and first toon’s bar and restaurant, soi 6, 497 3040) drink. For more details and to register borfai. Premier League Happy Hour - Jungle Juice, Soi Selekam during matches get 3 for 2 on all small Mucky Duck, Bonkai (Soi 88) interest go to their Facebook page. Nany’s Cafe, Soi 88 father teds, Damnoernkasem Road. domestic beers. Now open every day Ladies night every Thursday - Buy 1 get from 3pm serving a wide range of Thai Nit’s Kitchen, Soi 94 one free on cocktails; Every Friday is and Western food until 9pm, and great Orchid Restaurant 94, Soi 94 Lads night - get happy hour prices on all prices all day every day on drinks until Palm Bistro, Soi 88 (032 828144) Seajays Resort, off Pala-U Road. 083 late draught beers (see ad p2) 311 1787
Regular offers
Uncle Bryn’s (2km past Palm Hills Sunset Boulevard, Khao north along klong road. Turn left Bookings only 084 376 9438
Takiab.
and 200m on left.); Large beers at great Ye Olde Buffalo Tavern, Chomsin Rd prices. Open daily 7am-late. 085 405 Zab Wer, Soi 112. breakfast is Back! FREE Sunday Roast 6976 (T) 080 197 2072(E) - spend 250 baht and get a free Sunday Roast (see ad p2). Available from 2 to pub quizzes 8pm. All You Can Eat Chicken Wings and Kebabs every Friday from 5pm to king bar, Soi Binthabaht. Quiz second Monday of every month (next one 7pm when spend 200 bt. double d, Soi 6. Happy Hour every day Monday 9th October 2017 at 7.30 pm) . from 2 - 8pm; Buy 2 get 1 free on all Free entry, food and prizes - hosted by small domestic beers, Samsong + mixer Hawk - all welcome. 40 baht, Wine 55 baht, San Miguel and Sunset Boulevard, Khao Takiab. Heineken 65 baht, large domestic beers Third Tuesday of the month 7.30pm 10pm. All video home compiled quiz 70 baht. el murphy’s, soi selekam. Murfs with 8 rounds including audio visual Happy Times from 7am to 7pm Pints rounds. Teams of up to 6. Free half of: Guinness 189 bt, Old Speckled Hen time food and free entry but minimum 210 bt, Magners and Stowfor cider 180 bar bill 200 Baht per person. Bookings bt. All day Chang and Leo Large 90 bt, essential as there is limited space 084 376 9438 or go to our Facebook page. small 49 bt. Next quiz on 19th September. Bobby’s Bar, Soi 102.; The 99 baht
father teds, Damnoernkasem Road.
Live music, special food and drink offers, draught Guinness, something happening every night! See add on p2 for details. johnnie walker, soi selekam/ poolsuk road. Happy Hour every day
from 9am to 8pm.
nany’s cafe, soi 88. Friday special - Fish, chips and mushy peas 139 bt, Atlantic cod fillet chips and mushy peas 220 bt. Also Leo draft now available small(half) 55 bt, large(pint) 75 bt passport cafe, Samorphrong. Now open for Breakfasts, Freshly baked bread, Daily Specials and more (see ad p9) PIT’S CAFE, Dusitland 8, Soi 94. Every Saturday from 2-6pm, All You Can Drink draught Leo; Ladies 300 baht, Men 400 baht
TRADITIONAL HOME MADE COOKING - THAI AND ENGLISH TOP OF SOI 94 OPEN DAILY 8AM TO LATE ALL DAY BREAKFASTS TRADITIONAL SUNDAY ROAST - Lamb, Pork, Beef, Chicken Peas, Cauliflower, Broccoli, Carrots, Cabbage, Mash, Roast Potatoes, Yorkshire Pudding, Stuffing one free glass of wine with your sunday lunch! Pies, Beef Stew, Bangers & Mash, Fish & Chips & more! TAKEAWAY CALL 081 820 2309
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events with surf 102.5fm events
Ongoing
Rescue Paws is a non-profit organization based in Hua Hin dedicated to helping and improving the lives of Thailand’s stray animal population. Find out more on their website rescuepawsasia.org or Facebook page RescuePawsThailand Trash Hero Hua Hin now every Sunday at 3pm a beach area gets cleaned. See their eponymous Facebook page for weekly details HUA HIN HOBBY COOKING CLUB If cooking is your hobby you can join an international group of hobby cooks in Hua Hin. Tel. Robert 0983 562290 Dusit Thani Hua Hin Soccer Academy: exercise and professional football coaching for kids. Hua Hin Hash house Harriers every Saturday around the area. (see p14) Cicada Market and Performing Arts Fair. The Upcoming Venue@Suansri. Fri/Sat evenings from Inform awol or Surf fm of your sunset to 12 pm, Sundays from 4pm; charitable or non commercial event and Dining, shopping, art, performances, and we will announce it here films in a beautiful park-like setting. A great place to spend an evening Welcome to our collaborative section with Hua Hin’s only local radio station playing Western music 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, the one and only Surf 102.5 FM! Every day Surf features local events and activities that visitors and locals might be interested in enjoying, and you will find these below. If you know of an event, activity or regular happening that is not listed here or in our Balloon Chasers section, please get in touch by email to either AWOL (submissions@awolonline.net or Surf 102.5 FM (surf102.5fm@gmail.com) or via either of the respective Facebook pages; AWOLexpat or Surf102.5. Get on the air! Go along any Friday morning to the Siam Bakery at the Marriott to have a chat or just watch the guys do the Breakfast Show between 7 and 10 am.
surf 102.5 fm schedule • The Marriott Breakfast Show with Steve Johnston Mon. to Fri. 7:00 - 10:00 • Asia Pop 40 with Dom Lau Sat. 09:00 - 12:00, Sun. 15:00 - 18:00 Tue. 21:00 - 24:00 • “Something On The Radio” with James Ross Sun., Tues., Thu. 20:00-22:00 • LA Spinz with Peter Reynolds Mon., Wed.19:30 Fri. 20:15 • Q Burn Rocks On with Peter Antony Fri. 22:00 Sun. 00:00 • The Mellow Show with Gary Zeipe Sun. 22:00 - 00:00 • Soft Surf Mon -Thurs, Sat. 22:00 - 01:00 • BBC News headlines every hour • BBC News Sat., Sun. 07:00 - 08:00, Every day 19:00- 19:30
An Unmissable Opportunity
FOR SALE
ALL NATIONS GUESTHOUSE, BAR & RESTAURANT Now Only 1.5 million baht!!!
(originally reduced to 1.75m from 2.5m) • 14 rooms • 10 rooms with a/c, ensuite, balcony, tv, fridge, safe • Bar/Restaurant • Satellite TV • Kitchen • Pool Table/Dart Board
town centre location established over 20 years featured in lonely planet rent of 65k fixed until 2019 Price includes all stock, fixtures & fittings and thai company if required
selling to concentrate on other business interests
Serious enquiries only please call 081 817 3000
weird news
••
china Woman who played smartphone game eight hours a day loses her sight A young woman has gone partially blind after playing China’s most popular game on her smartphone all day. The 21-yearold gamer, who goes under the pseudonym Wu Xiaojing, could not stop playing Honor of Kings until she lost the sight in her right eye. She was rushed to several hospitals in Nancheng and was diagnosed with Retinal Artery Occlusion (RAO) in her right eye, which is common in elderly patients and can result in permanent loss of vision. Her parents had warned her she ‘might go blind’ if she kept on playing Honor of Kings around the clock. She said: ‘If I don’t work, I usually get up around 6am, have breakfast, then play until 4pm. She told The Global Times ‘I would eat something, take a nap, wake up and continue playing until 1 or 2am. My parents had warned me that I might go blind.’ She had spent the whole of October 1, a Chinese public holiday, playing the game and then lost her sight after dinner. A specialist from the Nancheng hospital where Wu was diagnosed said ‘it was likely that she had suffered from RAO after playing “excessively” on her phone’. However, Dr David Allamby, medical director of an eye clinic in London, told the Daily Mail the chances of her developing RAO from her mobile were ‘slim’. More than 200 million people play Honor of Kings on their smartphones and the game’s operators had to restrict children under the age of 12 to one hour a day to stave off addiction. People on on Chinese social media site Weibo were not put off the game by Wu’s plight. One said: ‘This is terrible but I still haven’t uninstalled the game.’
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uk Parking space in Cornwall set to go under the hammer for up to £40,000 As parking spaces go, this may just be one of the most expensive ones we’ve seen. The space is in St Ives, Cornwall, and is very near to the town centre, beach and harbour. For that luxury though comes a very large price tag – and by large we mean £40,000 large. The parking space, known as Space 19, measures 14ft 5in by 6ft 11in, and is in the private, gated Tregenna Hill car park. It’s due to go under the hammer with a number of other properties on November 3 and has surprisingly had a lot of interest, to the point where auctioneers say it could fetch up
to £40,000. Senior auction valuer Katie Semmens, from land and property auctioneers Clive Emson, said: ‘We have noted continued strong demand for car parking spaces and lockup garages over recent years. ‘Car parking space of this kind is at a premium in St Ives. Woman arrested after trying to scale front gates of Buckingham Palace ‘The popularity of the resort, combined with the security features of this space and its location just a short distance from the picturesque harbour are sure to draw keen interest at auction. ‘We’re expecting bids from residents as well second-home and holiday home owners seeking guaranteed parking in the town even at the peak of the summer.’ The space has the remainder of a 999-year lease from January 1988.
••
uk Students are competing to see who can get the most ambulance call-outs after drinking ‘Mindless’ students were caught competing with each other to get the most ambulance call-outs for their drunken antics. The York University students posed with a chart after clocking up five call-outs in nine days in freshers’ fortnight, including one for a drunken fight. Claire McNaney, the alcohol harm reduction officer at Durham Constabulary, said she was ‘flabbergasted’ to see students wasting emergency services resources. She said: ‘When we are dealing with serious incidents where ambulances are needed, we often find they are not available. This is really dangerous, it is life-threatening.’ The students study at York University’s Halifax College and live at St Lawrence Court halls of residence. Lewis Barrett, one of the students, said: ‘If you need an ambulance, you need an ambulance. ‘I wasn’t drunk either, I was the one making sure everyone got home ok and made a mistake. So get off your high horse, I needed an ambulance so one was called.’ A spokesman for York University told The Telegraph: ‘We have launched an investigation and the students involved have been called to a disciplinary meeting. ‘We will continue to work with our colleges and the students’ union to ensure all our students are reminded of their responsibilities on and off campus. ‘We have a good relationship with partners across the city and initiatives include a river safety campaign and a NightSafe student volunteering project, all designed to alleviate pressure on the emergency services.’
Contacting AWOL Telephone:
081 649 8361 (Eng) or 081 614 8728 (Thai) Office:
Website:
www.awolonline.net Facebook:
136/229 Emerald Hill, Soi 6, Borfai, Hua Hin, 77110, AWOLexpat Prachuap Kiri Khan Twitter: Email:
info@awolonline.net
awolhuahin
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LOCAL SPORTS hua hin city F.C
Hua Hin City F. C. is the local professional team formed in 2011, playing their matches at the Takiab Stadium in Khao Takiab. FIXTURES The season is over. New season details and other news will be announced here when available thai League 4 Western Region table
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Team Suphanburi B Muangkan United BTU United Assumption United Ratchaburi Mitr Phol B IPE Samut Sakhon United Hua Hin City Look Isan Nonthaburi Pathum Thani United
P 27 27 27 27 27 27 27 27 27 27
GD PTS 36 64 19 56 20 51 22 48 3 39 -1 38 -5 29 -19 27 -18 26 -57 4
SUPPORT AWOL AND OUR LOCAL SPORTS BY SPONSORING THESE PAGES. Call 081 649 8361 hua hin world cup 2017
This year’s competition is provisonally booked for the weekend of 9th and 10th December, but full details are yet to be announced. The organisers want to raise awareness and get people involved either as players or support as soon as possible so to find out more and be kept in the loop, please email huahinworldcup@gmail.com. Last year’s Facebook page (Red Mountain Hua Hin World Cup 2016) is currently the only other place to get information, but a new page will be set up soon for this year’s competition. There is always a charity element to the competiton, with last year Jungle Aid being the beneficiaries, but this has not been announced yet for this year. There are also sponsorship opportunities, so please contact the organisers on the email address above if you are interested in this as well. Last year’s winners were Thailand, following up their win the previous year, with Sweden and Finland the other winners since the tournament started in 2013. hash house harriers
A drinking Club with a running & walking Problem! The Cha-Am and Hua Hin Hash House GPS COORDINATES: N 12.609953, E Purple shop on your left and turn LEFT (HHH Sign). Continue a further 500 m Harrier Clubs meet alternate Saturdays 99.874692 (N 12 36.597 E 99 52.482) passing a school on your left and then for around an hour’s. run/walk in the DIRECTIONS to RUN SITE surrounding countryside followed by From Hua Hin & Cha-Am via Phet turn LEFT at Crematorium (HHH sign) and proceed 100 m to car park. a social gathering. lf you would like to Kasem Road come along then visit our website www. Google Map Link: https://goo.gl/maps/ Any queries then please call Screwdriver on 087 370 2994 or Butt Out on 095 959 h2h3-cah3.weebly.com or Facebook at VNMN1huwnT22 www.facebook.com/H2H3CAH3 for full Make you way on Phet Kasem Road and 6114 details and directions. Please note that turn into Hua Hin Soi 58 and continue Hash Tax: Male Drinkers ฿200, Female people attending and participating do so to traffic light junction with the Klong Drinkers ฿150, Teetotalers ฿100, kids Road and continue straight over. Zero ฿50, under 8’s Free). Your effort to bring entirely at their own risk. NEXT RUN Saturday 14th odometer, at 1.3 km turn right, follow the CORRECT change would be very october 2017, meet @ 4pm for a signs for Black Mountain Water Park. much appreciated. 4:30 pm start. Bear right at 4.0 km. Pass the Water Park Hua Hin Hash House Harriers (H2H3) at 8.2 km and continue to Crematorium Run #370 at 9.8 km (HHH Sign)) and turn RIGHT Hares: Screwdriver & Butt Out onto dirt road, park on right 100 metres. Hash Snacks: TBA From Cha-Am via the bypass Route 37 Tax Collector: TBA Google Map Link: https://goo.gl/maps/ LOCATION: WAT RAI NOEN Hmj4dvG1eAv CREMATORIUM PAST BLACK Head SOUTH on bypass towards MOUNTAIN WATER PARK Pranbury and exit LEFT at road sign GOOGLE MAP LINK: https://goo.gl/ posted Black Mountain Water Park. maps/APP8hb98jaH2 Continue on this road for 1.1 km to
local golf Butterfly Rock Golf society
Hua Hin Golf Society
saensuk Golf Society
Results Results 10th October 2017 11th October 2017 Lake View A + B Stableford Ladies 9 Black Mountain Resort Individual entered Stableford 47 entered 1st Malee Russell 36 pts (19) 1st Walter Molitor 37 pts (17) 2nd Tum Ringnalda 32 pts (15) 2nd Paul Unthank 36 pts (12) 3rd Anna Sjogren 31 pts (13) 3rd Nadtaya Nieuwenhuizen 35 pts (09) 4th Khun Neky 31 pts (20) 4th Jean Berruyer 34 pts (20) 10th October 2017 9th October 2017 Lake View A + B Stableford 24 entered Springfield Royal Country Club Splinter 1st Greg Hill 38 pts (16) Cell Stableford 2nd Harvey Russell 37 pts (11) 17 entered 3rd Mats Jogin 37 pts (11) 1st Marten Norregaard 34 pts (06) ronnie’s roll up 4th Fred Ward 35 pts (17) 2nd Freddie Larsson 34 pts (10) Held every Friday at Palm Hills. Please 3rd Alan Rawson 34 pts (13) contact Ronnie on 0811 942 556 if you 6th October 2017 4th Phillipe Tamin 31 pts (21) are interested in joining in, and thanks to Palm Hills Stableford 27 entered Ronnie for the results. 1st Ken Wilkie 37 pts (23) 2nd October 2017 6th october 2017 2nd Hubert Maldonado 36 pts (14) Springfield Royal Country Club Splinter 13 players 3rd Maarten Feijen 35 pts (05) Cell Stableford 12 entered Front 9 - John Feeney (11) 18 points 4th Neil Henderson 35 pts (07) 1st Roy Sweetland 37 pts (06) Back 9 - Ronnie Thorley (18) 17 points 2nd Goran Sundin 35 pts (03) Overall - Ronnie Thorley (18) 34 points fixtures 3rd Micke Tredahl 34 pts (01) 17th October 2017 Black Mountain 4th Victor Visot 33 pts (17) Stableford 20th October 2017 Lake View Stableford fixtures Monday/Friday Springfield Splinter Cell cha am golf club Stableford Contact: secretary@chaamgolfclub.com 18th October 2017 Lake View - Big Bo FIXTURES Memorial No fixtures currently listed. RESULTS 11th October 2017 Banyan B + A Stableford, NTP and Twos 13 entered 1st Nigel Guest 35 pts (11) 2nd Terry Hofgartner 35 pts (25) 3rd Terry Fullerton 34 pts (19) 4th Sue Murray 34 pts (28) Fixtures 16th-18th October 2017 Kanchanaburi away trip
lake view members club
HUA HIN DARTS LEAGUE
results week 8 10th october 2017 El Toro Loco v Bye Bye - No Game Johnnie Walker Red v JW Black n/a Pinky Bar v Blue Lagoon n/a League Table Team JW Black El Toro Loco JW Red Pinky Bar Blue Lagoon
P W D 5 4 0 4 3 0 4 2 0 5 1 0 4 1 0
L 1 1 2 4 3
+/- Pts 3 8 8 6 0 4 -5 2 -6 2
fixtures week 9 17th october 2017 Blue Lagoon v El Toro Loco Johnnie Walker Black - No Game Pinky Bar v Johnnie Walker Red
Results 6th October 2017 Stableford. Course AC 1st Michael Snakebite (5) 33pts 2nd John Hall (19) 29pts 3rd Reto Vorburger (5) 29pts 4th Steve O’Brien (14) 28pts 9th October 2017 Course AC 1st Gary Engelman (13) 32pts 2nd Peter Tucker (12) 32pts 3rd Mick Court (16) 31pts 4th Nigel Guest (11) 30pts FIXTURES Lake View every Monday, Wednesday, Friday
Crossword Solution
Here is last week’s Crossword solution.
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pool leagues hua hin khao takiab super Pool League
results week 23 5th october 2017 Arilds Bar v Le Kiss Bar n/a Bobby’s Birds v N & G Bar n/a Home v High Five n/a Hut Bar v Fin Bar n/a Lanla Bar v Tore’s Bar n/a Mucky Duck v Tiki Bar n/a Pits Cafe v Muan Bar n/a Sweetheart Bar v Drink & Shelter n/a The Dream v Tap House Bar n/a Fixtures Week 25 19th october 2017 Drink & Shelter v N & G Bar Fin Bar v Sweetheart Bar High Five v Tiki Bar Le Kiss Bar v Bobby’s Birds Muan Bar v Hut Bar Pits Cafe v Mucky Duck Star Bar v Arilds Bar Tap House Bar v Home Tore’s Bar v The Dream P 21 21 20 21 21 21 21 20 21 21 19 21 21 20 21 20 20 19 21 15
W 20 15 16 17 17 15 13 11 10 13 8 7 7 6 6 7 3 3 1 1
L 1 6 4 4 4 6 8 9 11 8 11 14 14 14 15 13 17 16 20 14
+/153 99 114 87 87 87 57 58 5 3 -5 -49 -61 -46 -95 -86 -124 -111 -173 -133
results Week 1 rsults will appear here next week. Fixtures week 2 19th october Coopers Beer Lounge v Bar 80 Saloon Hua Hin Bar v Squealing Pig Jaew Bar v Sabai Bar MasterCues Bar v Patty’s Family Mausi Bar v Nalee Bar Mint Bar v Silver Fox Mr Dan’s 88 v The Connection Cafe Silver Fox Wolverines v Big Kahuna League tablE
League Table Team Tap House Bar Tiki Bar Muan Bar Mucky Duck N & G Bar Drink & Shelter Pits Cafe Home Lanla Bar Arilds Bar Fin Bar Bobby’s Birds Star Bar Le Kiss Bar The Dream High Five Tore’s Bar Sweetheart Bar Hut Bar Hut Bar
thursday friendly Pool League
Pts 297 270 267 264 264 264 249 239 223 222 197 196 190 187 173 167 148 144 134 91
Team Bar 80 Saloon Big Kahuna Coopers Hua Hin Bar Jaew Bar MasterCues Bar Mausi Bar Mint Bar Mr Dan’s 88 Nalee Bar Pattys Family Sabai Bar S. F. Wolverines Silver Fox Squealing Pig The Connection
P W D L 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
+/0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
Pts 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
LUCKY SHOT BAR
Hua Hin’s only pool bar with FOUR 9’ tables Ask about our drinks specials and other special offers Contact Andy on 086 178 1550 Email: aknabe@gmx.net 27/3 Poolsuk Road, Hua Hin Hua Hin Pool Billiard League
fixtures The season is over. Details of any new season will be printed here when available. League tablE Team Pits Rangers Pits Pirates Big Kahuna Lucky Shot B Lucky Shot A Muan Bar
P 10 10 10 10 10 10
W 8 5 3 2 3 0
D 2 3 5 4 1 3
L 0 2 2 4 6 7
+/28 8 8 -6 -10 -28
Pts 18 13 11 8 7 3
friday team League
Fixtures The season is over. Details of a new season will appear here when available. League tablE Team Sabai Bar Home Bar Mucky Duck Bobbys Bar Ba Na Na Bar Home Bar 2 Nalee Bar Bikini Bar
P 14 13 14 13 14 13 13 14
W 12 10 7 5 4 5 4 1
D 2 0 3 1 3 2 0 1
L 0 3 4 7 7 6 9 12
+/106 80 10 6 -24 -26 -62 -90
Pts 227 202 179 165 162 149 131 129
pool leagues HUA HIN social POOL LEAGUE
results Week 17 11th october 2017 Booz Bar 9 - 10 Tiger Bar JW Red 7 - 12 JW Black Jungle Juice Leopards 6 - 13 Bentho Bar King Bar 9 - 10 All Nations GH Limelight 13 - 6 Jungle Juice Cheetas N & G 13 - 6 Pink Panther Fixtures Week 18 18th october 2017 All Nations GH v JW Red Bentho Bar v King Bar Booz Bar v Jungle Juice Leopards Jungle Juice Cheetas v N & G JW Black v Limelight Tiger Bar v Pink Panther League Table Team N&G Bentho Bar Limelight JW Black Jungle Juice Cheetas King Bar Tiger Bar Pink Panther All Nations GH Jungle Juice L’pards JW Red Booz Bar
P 17 17 15 16 13 14 17 16 15 16 16 16
W 14 12 11 11 10 9 7 7 5 4 3 1
L 3 5 4 5 3 5 10 9 10 12 13 15
+/- Pts 77 28 29 24 47 22 44 22 31 20 38 18 -11 14 -44 14 -25 10 -70 8 -40 6 -76 2
tuesday POOL LEAGUE soi 94
hua hin soi 80 tuesday Pool League
results week 17 10th october 2017 Home Bar 2 12 - 6 Home Bar Mausi Bar 3 - 15 Coopers Bar Na Na Bar 10 - 8 Tores Bar Nalee Bar 5 - 13 Tiki Bar Tree Bar 9 - 9 Connections Cafe
results Week 13 10th october 2017 Bar 80 Saloon 14 - 4 Mona Bar Eagle Bar 7 - 11 Hua Hin Bar ‘K’ Exotic Bar 6 - 12 Fin Bar 1 Fin Bar 2 13 - 5 Mint Bar Hua Hin Bar ‘S’ 15 - 3 Hut Bar
FIXTURES week 18 17th october 2017 Arilds Sports Bar v Home Bar 2 Coopers Bar v Nalee Bar Home Bar v Mausi Bar Na Na Bar v Tree Bar Tores Bar v Tiki Bar
Fixtures Week 14 17th october 2017 Bar 80 Saloon v Eagle Bar Fin Bar 1 v Fin Bar 2 Hua Hin Bar ‘K’ v Exotic Bar Mint Bar v Hua Hin Bar ‘S’ Mona Bar v Hut Bar League Table
League tablE Team Home Bar 2 Tiki Bar Coopers Bar Home Bar Tores Bar Arilds Sports Bar Connections Cafe Na Na Bar Tree Bar Nalee Bar Mausi Bar
P 16 15 15 15 16 15 15 15 16 15 15
W 13 13 13 7 6 6 4 4 2 2 0
D 2 1 0 4 4 3 4 1 4 2 3
L 1 1 2 4 6 6 7 10 10 11 12
+/82 96 100 36 -8 -16 -6 -36 -72 -82 -94
Pts 41 40 39 25 22 21 16 13 10 8 3
Kom Hom have withdrawn from the league and all their results removed
Fixtures Week 10 18th october 2017 Aonzy Bar v Tores Bar BRGC@Bar80 v Sabai Bar Breeze Bar v Squealing Pig Coopers Blues v Home Bar One Home Bar Two v Coopers Reds Tree Bar v Jaew Bar
P 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13
W 8 8 8 7 6 6 5 4 2 2
D 4 2 1 1 1 1 1 3 3 1
L +/- Pts 1 40 28 3 18 26 4 2 25 5 34 22 6 10 19 6 4 19 7 -4 16 6 2 15 8 -40 9 10 -66 7
hua hin wednesday Pool League
results Week 6 11th october 2017 Pit’s Cafe 1 11 - 8 Big Kahuna Lucky Shot 2 12 - 7 Pit’s Cafe 2 Arild 4 - 15 Lucky Shot 1 Baan Sanook 9 - 10 Infinity
NWPL New Wednesday POOL LEAGUE
results Week 9 11th october 2017 Coopers Reds 7 - 15 BRGC@Bar80 Home Bar One 12 - 10 Tree Bar Jaew Bar 8 - 14 Home Bar Two Sabai Bar 13 - 9 Breeze Bar Squealing Pig 15 - 7 Aonzy Bar Tores Bar 14 - 8 Coopers Blues
Team Fin Bar 2 Exotic Bar Fin Bar 1 Bar 80 Saloon Hua Hin Bar ‘K’ Mona Bar Eagle Bar Mint Bar Hut Bar Hua Hin Bar ‘S’
League Table League Table Team Sabai Bar BRGC@Bar80 Home Bar Two Tree Bar Squealing Pig Home Bar One Coopers Reds Aonzy Bar Jaew Bar Breeze Bar Coopers Blues Tores Bar
P W d 9 9 0 9 8 0 9 8 0 9 4 0 9 4 0 9 3 1 9 2 3 9 3 0 9 3 2 9 2 1 9 1 3 9 1 2
L 0 1 1 5 5 5 4 6 4 6 5 6
+/- Pts 48 27 54 24 38 24 12 12 4 12 -12 10 -18 9 -26 9 4 8 -46 7 -34 6 -24 5
Team Lucky Shot 1 Pit’s Cafe 1 Lucky Shot 2 Infinity Pit’s Cafe 2 Baan Sanook Big Kahuna Arild
P W L +/- Pts 6 5 1 24 10 6 4 2 32 8 6 4 2 24 8 6 4 2 2 8 6 3 3 -4 6 6 3 3 -18 6 6 1 5 0 2 6 0 6 -60 0
FIXTURES Week 7 18th october 2017 Lucky Shot 2 v Pit’s Cafe 1 Pit’s Cafe 2 v Arild Baan Sanook v Lucky Shot 1 Please note: Some points deductions Infinity v Big Kahuna have been made to two teams
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pool leagues
102 & 88 saturday POOL LEAGUE
hua hin star Pool League
results week 8 8th october 2017 division 2 division 1 Hampi 7 - 2 Paul Job 3 - 7 Tong Dang 7 - 6 Brian Thong 7 - 3 Brian Derrick 7 - 2 Lieven Korn 7 - 5 Peter Pek 7 - 3 Kwan Prj 3 - 7 Andy
Axel v Thong n/a Julius 5 - 1 Steve Robbie 2 - 5 Wad Shawn 5 - 2 Tina Bernard 5 - 1 Michel Darren 4 - 5 Gent Mick 2 - 5 Golf Tim 1 - 5 Den
Fixtures week 8 8th october 2017 division 2 division 1 Kwan v Prj Lieven v Brian Derrick v Dang Thong v Brian Hampi v Job Korn v Andy Pek v Peter Tong v Paul
League Tables division 1
Gent v John Tim v Steve Darren v Wad Thong v Shawn Bernard v Tina Robbie v Mick Den v Michel Golf v Julius
P +/- Pts Player
Hampi Korn Brian Pek Peter Andy Thong Tong Lieven Dang Job Kwan Derrick Prj Brian Paul
8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8
26 10 5 13 8 3 7 5 -1 -2 -6 -4 -5 -9 -23 -27
14 14 12 10 10 10 8 8 8 8 8 6 6 2 2 2
Julius Thong Shawn Gent Darren Den Mick Golf Bernard Wad Tim John Robbie Michel Tina Steve
P +/- Pts 8 7 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 7 8 8 8 8
13 16 12 7 12 8 6 1 3 2 -5 -7 -11 -18 -19 -20
results Week 10 7th october 2017 Banana Bar 5 - 13 Master Ques Big Kahuna 8 - 10 Bobby’s Babes Bobby’s Bar 11 - 7 El Toro Loco Silver Fox 7 - 11 Mucky Duck
results Week 7 6th october 2017 Exotic Bar v High Five n/a Fin Bar v Muan Bar n/a Sunset Boulevard v The Connection n/a TK Roadhouse v Jungle Juice n/a
FIXTURES Week 11 14th october 2017 Big Kahuna v Banana Bar Bobby’s Babes v Bobby’s Bar El Toro Loco v Mucky Duck Master Ques v Silver Fox
FIXTURES No matches next week League tablE
League tablE
division 2
Player
Hua Hin Khao Takiab Cool POOL LEAGUE
14 12 12 12 10 10 10 10 8 8 6 4 4 2 2 2
Team Master Ques Mucky Duck El Toro Loco Bobby’s Bar Big Kahuna Banana Bar Bobby’s Babes Silver Fox
P 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10
W 8 7 6 4 3 3 2 1
D L 1 1 1 2 1 3 2 4 1 6 1 6 2 6 3 6
+/72 16 6 4 -6 -32 -36 -24
Pts 17 15 13 10 7 7 6 5
P W D L +/- Pts 6 4 0 2 8 73 5 5 0 0 29 72 6 3 0 3 2 70 4 4 0 0 24 58 5 2 0 3 -1 57 5 2 0 3 -17 49 5 0 0 5 -23 46 4 2 0 2 -2 45 4 0 0 4 -20 36
leagues not currently running
Details of new seasons will be printed here when available. Organisers please contact AWOL with any information. hua hin/khao takiab ladies Pool League
Friends of Hua Hin Wednesday Pool League
results League tablE Week 6 11th october 2017 Team P W D Bobby’s Bangers 10 - 10 Master Cues Master Cues 6 5 1 High Five Bar 13 - 7 Take 5 T.K. Roadhouse 5 4 0 Muan Bar 13 - 7 Silver Fox Muan Bar 6 3 1 Sunset Boulevard 7 - 13 Bobby’s Beauties Bobby’s Bangers 5 2 2 T.K. Roadhouse 12 - 8 Mucky Duck FIXTURES Week 7 18th october 2017 Bobby’s Bangers v T.K. Roadhouse Master Cues v Muan Bar Mucky Duck v High Five Bar Silver Fox v Sunset Boulevard Take 5 v Bobby’s Beauties
Team Take 5 Jungle Juice Fin Bar TK Roadhouse The Connection Exotic Bar High Five Muan Bar Sunset B’vard
Mucky Duck Bobby’s B’ties Sunset B’vard Silver Fox High Five Bar Take 5
6 6 6 5 6 5
2 3 1 2 1 1
2 0 2 0 0 0
L 0 1 2 1 2 3 3 3 5 4
+/- Pts 58 11 12 8 18 7 10 6 2 6 -2 6 -12 4 -16 4 -32 2 -38 2
Disclaimer All articles are published in good faith and based on information available to us at publication. Some articles are satire or ‘spoof ’ stories intended as humour. No responsibility is accepted other than that stipulated by law. Although the information in this publication has been obtained from sources believed to be reliable, AWOL cannot guarantee accuracy in all cases. Any opinions expressed are those of the contributor and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher. All materials copyright. All rights reserved and no part of this publication may be reproduced in part or in full without the previous written consent of the publisher. Neither can any part be stored in a retrieval situation, nor transmitted by electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or any other means. AWOL is printed by Petchpoom Printing, and we can be contacted on info@awolonline.net or 081 614 8728. Please send any other communications to Mrs Chukamol James, Managing Director, AWOL Co. Ltd., 136/229 Emerald Hill, Soi 6, Mooban Borfai, Hua Hin, Prachuap Kiri Khan, 7110, THAILAND.
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english premier league table
(all times Thailand)
saturday 14th october 2017 PREMIER LEAGUE Liverpool v Manchester United 18:30 Burnley v West Ham United 21:00 Crystal Palace v Chelsea 21:00 Manchester City v Stoke City 21:00 Swansea City v Huddersfield Town 21:00 Tottenham H. v Bournemouth 21:00 Watford v Arsenal 23:30 CHAMPIONSHIP Birmingham City v Cardiff City 01:45 Bristol City v Burton Albion 01:45 Barnsley v Middlesbrough 21:00 Bolton Wands v Sheffield Weds 21:00 Brentford v Millwall 21:00 Fulham v Preston North End 21:00 Leeds United v Reading 21:00 Norwich City v Hull City 21:00 Sheffield United v Ipswich Town 21:00 Sunderland v QPR 21:00 Wolves v Aston Villa 23:30 SCOTTISH PREMIERSHIP St Johnstone v Rangers 01:45 Celtic v Dundee 21:00 Hamilton Acad. v Motherwell 21:00 Hibernian v Aberdeen 21:00 Partick Thistle v Kilmarnock 21:00 Ross County v Hearts 21:00 sunday 15th october 2017 PREMIER LEAGUE Brighton & Hove Albion v Everton 19:30 Southampton v Newcastle United 22:00 CHAMPIONSHIP Derby County v Nottingham F. 19:15 tuesday 17th october 2017 PREMIER LEAGUE Leicester City v West Brom. 02:00
football
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20
Team Man City Man Utd Tottenham Chelsea Arsenal Burnley Liverpool Watford Newcastle West Brom Huddersfield Southampton Stoke Brighton West Ham Everton Leicester Swansea Bournemouth Crystal Palace
P 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7
GD PTS 20 19 19 19 9 14 6 13 3 13 2 12 1 12 -1 12 1 10 -2 9 -2 9 -2 8 -4 8 -4 7 -6 7 -8 7 -3 5 -5 5 -7 4 -17 0
fantasy premier league - awol challenge
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20
Team Pony & Trap Colonial AC Clacton RentMyThaiVilla Lost Cafe Mr. Cha Aming Carthorses Are Go FC ROCA Wanderlust United HH Jambos Dannyxcollinz Frankies 11 JR Brutd S.C Hua hin jambos AWOL Wanderers The Dada Donkeys Portsmoth city Atletico Pathetico Pink Panther AFC Shortimeagain
GW 54 64 55 54 60 52 40 60 46 55 53 23 45 62 58 37 53 28 36 51
TOT 416 408 394 394 389 387 385 381 379 365 364 354 346 334 331 306 304 303 289 279
Featured Game
saturday 14th october 2017 PREMIER LEAGUE Liverpool v Manchester United 18:30 One of the classic football encounters, and this season, based on performances so far, it is looking a little one sided in terms of favourites, with the home side already seven points behind, but this in itself adds to the drama, because Klopp’s men cannot afford to be ten points adrift after only eight games. Equally United must keep the pressure on their city rivals and not allow the London chasing pack a chance to close up on them. Liverpool’s defensive issues are well documented, but there is a feeling that United are also vulnerable, and we expect both teams to score, but the away side to score more, thus a narrow away win.
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eng-er-yawn Outbreak of sleeping sickness traced to watching England football team
••
uK A brief epidemic of narcolepsy which struck Britain last night has been traced to watching the performance of the England football team. The NHS started taking calls from concerned members of the public at 8pm on Sunday night, reporting that friends and family members were slumping into unconsciousness. If awoken, sufferers had only to glance at their televisions for a few moments before collapsing into insensibility once more. Reports indicated that people began to recover around half-time, but suggestions this was because Kane scored were proved wrong when it turned out they were just getting up to put the kettle on. “We were initially very concerned, until we realised that the outbreak could be
Left: Former England captain was pictured suffering from the epidemic at the match
traced to the first time Harry Winks touched the ball and intensified every time Harry Maguire came on camera at all,” said healthcare spokesman Simon Williams. “And then when Jordan Henderson… oh, excuse me, I can’t stop yawning. When Henders… Hender… Hen… Zzzzzzzzzz.” The NHS said that sufferers from last
night’s narcolepsy could treat themselves at home by doing something more fast-paced and exciting than watching England play, such as reading the complete works of Marcel Proust, listening to a compilation of Jeremy Corbyn’s best speeches, or looking at your mate’s holiday photos.
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