AWOL Issue 454

Page 1

FOR THE EXPAT IN ALL OF US! ISSUE 454 24th November 2017

ABSENT WITH OUT LEAVE IN THE LAND OF SMILES

FREE

EVERY FRIDAY SINCE 2008

the original and best!

GET RACING FROM ONLY 400 BAHT! OPEN EVERYDAY 10.30AM - 7PM

Call 032 547 199 (Office) or 081 817 3000 (Mobile) Located on Soi 2, Phetchkasem Road opposite Hua Hin Airport

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Victor’s

open 24/7

Wide range of rooms in the heart of Hua Hin a/c, lcd tv, dvd player, fridge, free premium wifi, cable TV victorguesthouse@gmail.com 032 511564 60 Naresdamri Road, Hua Hin

P A N AMA BAR

Good Times Every Night A DJ To Save Your Life

drying out

‘biblical’ downpour leads to extensive flooding

•The• widespread flooding that hit the area this week appears to be the culmination of one of the wettest hua hin

years on record, and many long term residents have asserted that they have never experienced such a heavy and sustained downpour in the last twenty years. Few areas escaped completely unscathed, with the AWOL offices being located in one of the lucky zones, and the town centre and the south of the town were, as is often the case, the hardest hit, with particular problems in sois 102 and 112. The giant pumps that were installed in Soi 102 a couple of years ago were unable to handle the sheer volume of water. The area around Market Village was also deep underwater, with the neighbouring Selasian school closing for one day, and again, this is a familiar story there. Khao Takiab was badly hit too, with part of the road near the temple collapsing, apparently due to subsidence of the ground underneath. Some cars and bikes attempting to traverse the waters in the area fell victim to unseen hazards, and many locals took to small boats to get around and help their neighbours. It is hard to know if it is possible to build any systems capable of dealing with such large volumes of water in such a short space of time, especially when the obvious place to push the water, the sea, is invariably at high tide at the same time. However this does seem to becoming a more frequent event, and both the authorities, businesses and individuals need to be aware of this in planning for the future. The good news is that it is rare for any flooding to last more than a few hours once the rain stops, and the forecast from now on is for dry, sunny weather, which is the norm for December and the following two or three months. There may be the odd thunderstorm during this period, but we should have seen the end of such biblical downpours for many weeks now. We hope anybody who has been affected has not suffered too badly.


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local listings

sports & leisure Tel.

Go Kart Hua Hin

081 587 0938 Services & other Tel.

Legal Services Hua Hin Siam Consulting thai-health.com

084 881 8396 032 512 075

accommodation Tel.

All Nations Guesthouse Victor Guesthouse

032 512 747 032 511 564

032 547 199

Bars & Pubs Tel.

Bobby’s Bar Double D Father Teds Fiji Bula Bar Johnnie Walkers Lucky Shot Panama Bar Thip’s Bar Wooden House

Tel. 091 407 6854 Located in Samorphrong

087 155 7737 080 652 0531 032 514 448 063 661 4498 0871 53 2259 086 178 1550

Property Tel.

Hot Property Lucky Real Estate

081 587 0938 082 298 0500

Restaurants/Food Tel.

British Breakfast Foods Dizzy Dolphin Hua Hin Ham & Bacon Passport Cafe The Palm Bistro

087 155 7737 091 407 6854 032 513 144 093 139 9655 032 828 144

090 962 6758 091 449 4551

Free appetisers & Happy Hour prices during ALL live EPL matches

Happy Hour all drinks 3 - 8 pm Food available from 3 - 10 pm.

Try our extensive Thai & Western menu

Turn right before the 7-11 & we are 200 m up on the right 19 Damnernkasem Road, Hua Hin Ph: 032 514448 Opposite the Police station

Live Music 7 nights a week Open for Breakfast from 9am Live sport on HD screens Chang, Guinness, Tiger, Carlsberg, San Mig Light, Magners & Kilkenny on Draught

HAPPY HOURS MON - FRI 9AM - 6PM don't miss in november LADIES NIGHT EVERY THURSDAY Buy 1 Get One Free on Cocktails LADS NIGHT EVERY FRIDAY Enjoy Happy Hour prices on our entire draught selection

For more information on Events and Special offers Call 032 514448

More than 12 years in Hua Hin

BOBBY’’S BAR

Find us on Soi 102

087 155 7737 or 089 985 7473

New Sunday Menu

Sunday Roast, with Chicken, Pork or Lamb. Plus Yorkshire Pudding, Roast & Mash Potatoes, Cabbage, Carrots, Parsley and Gravy. Includes Dessert of Apple or Blueberry Pie, or Fried Bananas with Ice Cream All Free when you spend 250Bt or more on Beers, Wine Or Cocktails

Home of Bobby’s British Breakfast Foods

UK Sausages, Ham, Bacon, Pies, Teas etc.


Affordable Health Insurance from 50 baht per day with thai-health.com Contact andreas@thai-health.com

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Join our Sunday Lunch Club and start earning your free Roast Dinner

Nippon

Photos coutesy of Haribo

090 962 6758

Thip’s Bar

Your Friendly Local In Samorphrong

Open every day from 1pm - late

Happy Hour until 8pm (small beers 50 baht, large beers 70 baht)

Opening times Tuesday till Saturday 10.30 till 14.30, 17.30 till 21.00 Sunday 13.00 till 17.00 Tel. 032 828 144 Web: thepalmbistro.com thepalmbistro@gmail.com Located at Orchid Palm Homes 4 1043 Road, Tabtai, Hua Hin

DHouble D H !2-8 Soi 6, Borfai, Hua Hin Tel. 080 652 0531

appy

our

pm

Buy 2 Get 1 Free on all small domestic beers Large domestic beers 75 bt Wine 60 bt San Mig / Heineken 70 bt Sangsom + mixer 50 bt

LIVE SPORTS TV

Pool Table Open 2pm - Late

Located off the canal road; at the Soi 6 traffic lights go across the bridge over the canal & turn immediately right. We are about 600 m further on the right, 100 m past the temple, directly behind the small brown Buddha house.

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weather & tides World weather (23-11-17)

Local Forecast AND TIDES

Rain (mm) Conditions Temp. °C Tides CITY Weather High H L 1st 2nd 3rd 4th °C SA 0 Mostly sunny 28 23 02:47 1.4m 08:00 2.6m - Amsterdam Passing clouds 11 SU 0 Partly sunny 29 24 02:05 1.4m 08:11 2.6m - Ankara Broken clouds 2 MO 1 Clouds and sun 29 24 01:17 1.4m 07:47 2.5m - Athens Cool 13 TU 0 Partly sunny 30 25 01:07 1.4m 06:07 2.5m - Auckland Mild 20 WE 0 Humid; high clouds 31 26 01:12 1.4m 05:11 2.5m 15:38 1.6m 15:39 2.3m Beijing Sunny 4 TH 0 High clouds; humid 31 24 01:20 1.4m 04:59 2.5m 15:48 1.5m 16:41 2.3m Berlin Passing clouds 7 FR 0 Partly sunny 32 24 01:29 1.4m 05:07 2.6m 16:15 1.4m 17:26 2.2m Buenos Aires Clear 19 Cairo Sunny 16 Chicago Overcast 0 thailand weather (23-11-17) Copenhagen Clear 8 Dubai Passing clouds 26 Place Temp Hum Conditions Place Temp Hum Conditions Dublin Passing clouds 4 Aranyaprathet 32 °C 44% Scattered Clds Nakhon Sawan 30 °C 52% Clear Helsinki Passing clouds 0 Nan 30 °C 48% Mostly Cldy Ban A To 28 °C 77% Ho Chi Minh City Mostly cloudy 33 Nang Rong 30 °C 58% Clear Ban Baen Chado 31 °C 62% Partly Cldy Hong Kong Passing clouds 20 Narathiwat 27 °C 89% Light Rain Ban Bang Bamru 31 °C 62% Partly Cldy Islamabad Partly sunny 11 Nong Khai 30 °C 38% Partly Cldy Ban Bang Duan 31 °C 62% Partly Cldy Istanbul Broken clouds 12 26 °C 89% Rain Ban Bua Chum 30 °C 43% Scattered Clds Pattani Jakarta Passing clouds 34 Pattaya 31 °C 58% Partly Cldy Ban Fai Na 31 °C 62% Mostly Cldy Jerusalem Quite cool 11 Phayao 27 °C 79% Mostly Cldy Ban Hua Tho 31 °C 62% Partly Cldy Johannesburg Passing clouds 14 Phetchabun 30 °C 53% Scattered Clds Ban Ko Thung 26 °C 81% Mist Karachi Haze 26 Phetchaburi 30 °C 65% Scattered Clds Ban Krathing Lai 36 °C 54% Partly Cldy Kuala Lumpur Broken clouds 31 Phitsanulok 32 °C 52% Scattered Clds Ban Na Si Nuan 29 °C 45% Partly Cldy London Partly cloudy 13 Phrae 30 °C 58% Mostly Cldy Ban Nong Pladuk 28 °C 48% Clear Madrid Clear 6 Phuket 31 °C 62% Mostly Cldy Ban Samphan 32 °C 59% Partly Cldy Manila Partly sunny 32 Prachin Buri 32 °C 45% Scattered Clds Bangkok 30 °C 58% Partly Cldy Mexico City Passing clouds 9 Chaiyaphum 30 °C 40% Scattered Clds Prach. Khirikhan 31 °C 68% Partly Cldy Moscow Overcast -2 28 °C 79% Scattered Clds Chanthaburi 30 °C 59% Scattered Clds Ranong Mumbai Clear 32 Rayong 31 °C 58% Partly Cldy Chawang 30 °C 72% Partly Cldy New Delhi Sunny 13 Roi Et 29 °C 43% Clear Chiang Mai 28 °C 62% Mostly Cldy New York Clear 1 Samui 31 °C 75% Partly Cldy Chiang Rai 27 °C 79% Mostly Cldy Oslo Light rain 4 33 °C 60% Partly Cldy Chok Chai 31 °C 65% Scattered Clds Sattahip Paris Passing clouds 13 Satun 30 °C 68% Partly Cldy Chumphon 26 °C 93% Mist Perth Passing clouds 31 Songkhla 26 °C 89% Mostly Cldy Kam Paeng Phet 31 °C 50% Mostly Cldy Phnom-Penh Partly cloudy 31 Sukhothai 31 °C 58% Scattered Clds Kamalasai 29 °C 45% Partly Cldy Rio De Janeiro Light rain 22 Suphan Buri 31 °C 62% Partly Cldy Kanchanaburi 30 °C 57% Mist Riyadh Rain 12 Surat Thani 30 °C 79% Scattered Clds Khanom 31 °C 75% Partly Cldy Rome Clear 9 30 °C 58% Clear Khlong Yai 31 °C 66% Scattered Clds Surin San Francisco Mostly cloudy 17 Tak 30 °C 55% Mostly Cldy Ko Lanta 26 °C 89% Light Rain Seoul Scattered clouds 6 Takua Pa 31 °C 89% Mostly Cldy Ko Samui 31 °C 75% Partly Cldy Shanghai Sunny 13 Tha Tum 30 °C 58% Clear Ko Sichang 31 °C 69% Partly Cldy Singapore Thunderstorms 26 Tha Wang Pha 30 °C 48% Mostly Cldy Krabi 29 °C 74% Partly Cldy Stockholm Fog 8 Thoen 31 °C 58% Scattered Clds Lampang 29 °C 62% Mostly Cldy Sydney Sunny 26 Thong Pha Phum 32 °C 45% Haze Lamphun 27 °C 68% Mostly Cldy Taibei/Taipei Broken clouds 17 Thung Chang 30 °C 48% Mostly Cldy Loei 27 °C 70% Mostly Cldy Tokyo Partly sunny 14 Trang 26 °C 89% Light Rain Lop Buri 31 °C 62% Partly Cldy Vancouver Mostly cloudy 14 Trat 31 °C 66% Scattered Clds Mae Hong Son 28 °C 68% Mostly Cldy Vientiane Partly cloudy 30 Mae Sariang 31 °C 56% Scattered Clds Ubon Ratchathani 30 °C 58% Partly Cldy Yangon Scattered clouds 31 Udon Thani 29 °C 48% Partly Cldy Mae Sot 30 °C 55% Mostly Cldy Zurich Quite cool 6 30 °C 55% Mostly Cldy Mukdahan 28 °C 42% Scattered Clds Umphang Uttaradit Nakhon Phanom 28 °C 33% Clear Nak. Ratchasima 29 °C 47% Scattered Clds Wichian Buri

31 °C 58% Scattered Clds 32 °C 33% Scattered Clds


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IS HIRING!

We are the only weekly newspaper in this area and we are looking for two motivated and engaging people to work in the key areas of sales and distribution. Requirements: • Thai Nationals • Good understanding of spoken and written English • Well presented • Previous experience in a sales environment useful but not a necessity • Ability to work to deadlines • Own transport (not essential but preferred) The positions will involve selling advertising space in the newspaper and online as the major task, as well as maintaining relations with existing customers and dealing with renewals of ads, and coordinating and monitoring the efficient distribution of the paper every week. Conditions: The positions are full time jobs and the successful candidates will be expected to work 40 hours a week; however these hours will need to be spread flexibly, as this is not a normal 9 to 5, Monday to Friday office job as many existing and potential customers are only available to discuss their requirements or settle invoices in the evenings or at weekends. The initial salary offered to the successful candidates will vary depending on previous experience and abilities, but will be in the range of 10,000 to 15,000 baht a month, plus any extra commission earned through performance. There will be sales targets which if achieved will generate this extra income. We anticipate this could result in an income averaging at least 20,000 baht a month, with exceptional candidates capable of earning much more. There will be a probation period of 115 days for anyone hired, with an assessment of performance at the end of it. Application: Please send an email to info@awolonline.net with the subject line “Employment Application” and include your reasons for wanting to work for AWOL, your previous work history, your personal details including phone number and address, and any other information you believe is relevant to your application. Closing date for applications extended to 30th November 2017


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sudoku Each week we have an easy and a hard Sudoku puzzle. Just fill in the empty squares so that each horizontal and vertical line, and each section, has all the numbers 1 to 9.

Puzzle 1 (Easy)

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Last issue’s solutions Puzzle 1

Puzzle 2 (Hard)

Puzzle 2

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ALL NATIONS

hua hin

guesthouse and bar 12 rooms from 350 baht a night free wifi for guests 032 512747

allnationshuahin@ gmail.com Drop your AWOL Classifieds in here


advertise your business here for less than 100 baht per week (13 issue run)

puzzles codeword

Each letter in this puzzle is represented by a number 1-26. Can you crack the code and solve the crossword? Every letter of the alphabet is used at least once. Two or three letters are already in place to get you started. Use the 1-26 small grid to keep track.

Last Issue’s Solution

A N

B O

C P

D Q

E R

F S

G H T U

I J K V W X

L Y

M Z

crossword Across 5 Sad regent (anag) — disaffected (9) 8 Bitterness — digestive fluid stored in the gall bladder (4) 9 Interrogate (8) 10 Central American country, formerly British Honduras (6) 11 Erase (6) 13 Dirty (6) 15 Offhand — informal (6) 16 Deep fissure in a glacier (8) 18 Mislay — fail (4) 19 Anxious (3,2,4)

The solution to last week’s puzzle is on page 19.

Down 1 Over and above what is usually expected (8) 2 French cubist painter, d. 1963 (6) 3 Mean (6) 4 Exploit (4) 6 Piece of diningroom furniture (9) 7 Hopeless endeavour (4,5) 12 Lethargic (8) 14 Gloomy (6) 15 Intelligent (6) 17 Electrical unit of measurement (4)

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area 555

••

Got some great jokes? sharing Send them to us on submissions@awolonline.net A young man saw an elderly couple sitting down to lunch at satnav a fast food restaurant. He noticed that they had ordered one I’ve just bought a new sat-nav with a wild west theme, I tried it meal, and an extra drink cup. As he watched, the gentleman out for the first time today in South London. carefully divided the hamburger in half, then counted out the fries, one for him, one for her, until each had half of them. It gave me a route in Tooting in good time Then he poured half of the soft drink into the extra cup and set that in front of his wife. The old man then began to eat, and his trump wife sat watching, with her hands folded in her lap. Spitting Image is being rebooted in America featuring Donald The young man decided to ask if they would allow him to Trump as a puppet. purchase another meal for them so that they didn’t have to split theirs. The old gentleman said, “Oh no. We’ve been married Vladimir Putin is suing because he thought of it first. 50 years, and everything has always been and will always be shared, 50/50.” urgent golf The young man then asked the wife if she was going to eat, and A husband and wife are on the 9th green when suddenly she she replied, “It’s his turn with the teeth.” collapses from a heart attack. “Help me dear,” she groans to her husband. f1 drivers The husband calls 911 on his cell phone, talks for a few minutes, Have you ever noticed how a lot of F1 drivers share their picks up his putter, and lines up his putt. His wife raises her names with Scottish places? head off the green and stares at him. “I’m dying over here and Stirling Moss you’re putting?” Eddie Irvine “Don’t worry dear,” says the husband calmly, “they found a Lewis Hamilton doctor on the second hole and he’s coming to help you.” Ayr Town Centre. “Well, how long will it take for him to get here?” she asks feebly. “No time at all,” says her husband. “Everybody’s already agreed ageing to let him play through.” You know you’re old when your friends start having kids on purpose.

•• •• ••

•• ••


to hull and back Restaurant & Bakery in Samorphrong

OPEN 11am - 9pm every day (Closed Tuesdays) Delicious Home Cooked Western & Thai Food daily specials - check our blackboard Breakfasts - Fresh Bread Baked Daily Free Wi-Fi - Easy Parking Contact us on 093 139 9655 or food@passportcafehuahin.com

Menu on passportcafehuahin.com and Facebook page Passport-Cafe Directions: From Hua Hin go north on the Klong (Canal) Road through the traffic lights and turn left at the blue bridge with the water tower next to it, then immediately right before the 7-11. Follow this road for approximately 1.5 km and you will find us on the right opposite Tropical Hill.

••

uniformity Here we are then. Just 4 weeks away from Christmas, and as usual we ask ourselves why? As in why do we make such as fuss about it, and why can’t it be the same in little old England as it is in Thailand, where all you really need to do is make sure your turkey dinner is booked. Yet again my circle of friends have failed to reach agreement on the ‘secret santa’ idea, the last posting days to all places abroad are too close for comfort, and supermarket shelves are being stripped of Baileys. As always of course we will get over it, but as always many of Thailands’ population won’t. Despite their official status as largely Buddhist there will still be mayhem on the roads over the Christmas and New Year period. At least now we know that not all of the mayhem is caused by drivers, which should come as something of a relief. Instead many road accidents are in fact caused by fate and ghosts on the highways, which we should have had the sense to realise all along. Back in the real world once known as the UK there are some strange ideas surfacing as well, especially on the subject of school clothing. This is one aspect of life which I believe Thailand has got right. Despite the widely held belief that the Land of Smiles is 50 years behind western countries, their school uniform policy is something worth hanging on to. It doesn’t discriminate, or allow some pupils to stand out from the crowd. Nor does it provide opportunities for some pupils to be ridiculed and bullied just because they look a bit different. Of course school uniforms can be customised by means of shortening, adjusting sleeves, losing the tie, or adding dayglo socks. All western school kids do it at some point when obliged to wear the same clothes as everyone else. But now, with increasing numbers of transgender pupils, or those whose parents are raising them as gender neutral, some schools are having a radical re-think on the issue of what is appropriate clothing for their individual wellbeing and development. What this really means is that schools are beginning to give in to the demands of parents and are desperate to be seen as non judgemental and politically correct. For some schools it began with banning skirts, so that both boys and girls wore trousers and looked unisex, which also solved the problem of girls hitching their skirts up too far. Now a more radical way to cope with gender issues and prejudice is to allow pupils to wear whatever they feel comfortable in, be it tutus for the boys or firemens - or should that be firepersons - helmets. Anything goes. Whether that will keep parents and

the PC police happy remains to be seen, but surely there is a much easier way to keep everyone happy. Why not simply have school uniforms with the option of either skirts or trousers for all sexes. Back in Hull the city was graced by a visit from Her Maj last week, who did the usual flying visit to two well known establishments and squeezed in lunch with the city elders. With her 70th wedding anniversary looming at the end of this month the media has been full of stories about the Royal marriage, which it has to be said has lasted far longer than most. But one peculiar Royal habit emerges from those stories which sets the Queen and Prince Phillip apart, and that is the need to communicate with their children by letter. Especially during the bad times - their childrens’ marriage difficulties for example, or their not infrequent unroyal behaviour. Whenever a bit of support is needed, or marriage guidance, or a disapproving lecture is delivered, it is done in writing. Maybe they just feel the need to record everything for posterity, and don’t want the staff to hear them having a good old ding dong through the palace walls.

On This Day

Now to a different Queen, whose front man Freddie Mercury died on November 24th 1991. By Christmas that year Queen were at number one in the UK charts with their re-release of Bohemian Rhapsody, making it the tracks’ second Christmas at number one, and the only single to top the chart in four different years.

advertise here for just 360 baht per week (when booked for 13 issues)

Contact AWOL now on 081 649 8361

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your stars Banchang Utapao VFW Post 12146

Become A Member Of The Number One Vfw Post In Thailand & The Pacific Areas

www.banchangvfwpost12146.org Contact: Dan Morgan (Membership Chairman) danwmorgan@gmail.com or Larry Williams (VFW Service Officer) quam1willi@yahoo.com

Capricorn Dec 22 - Jan 19

Taurus Apr 21 – May 21

Virgo Aug 23 – Sep 22

Gemini May 22 – June 21

Libra Sep 23 – Oct 23

Pisces Feb 19 – Mar 20

Cancer Jun 22 – Jul 22

Scorpio Oct 24 – Nov 21

ARIES Mar 21 - Apr 20

Leo Jul 23 – Aug 22

When all’s said and done, it’s You’ll never again hear a Although roughly 70 percent of our experiences that make negative word spoken of you, the Earth’s surface is covered by us who we are. However, thanks to your sweet nature water, that still doesn’t explain that doesn’t explain why and an unfortunate incident why you have to be rescued from you’re assistant manager of the produce with a pair of explosive earbuds. drowning all the time. department.

Aquarius Jan 20 – Feb 18

your nose.

There are some kinds of pain that never go away, but after all these years you’d think they’d come up with a way to get that lobster to let go of

It’s unclear whether you’re You don’t know why people going to murder ice cream are so freaked out by your men or become an ice cream collection of bloody children’s man and murder people, but underwear. After all, it says the stars are pretty certain Museum of Bloody Children’s you’re going to be known as the Ice Cream Underwear right on the hand-painted sign Man Murderer. on your house.

You will never be able You’ve never asked anybody to explain to anyone’s for anything in your life, satisfaction how all those which may be why those chickens could just appear expectant waiters have been out of nowhere. following you around for years.

This would be a bad week to leave your mansion, seeing as how you’ve betrayed about half of the people of Hua Hin.

Sagittarius Nov 22 – Dec 21

Your fear of change means You’ll become a victim of that spending the next few boredom in the workplace centuries in a block of ice when the technicians figure will be extremely soothing, at out a way to make your x-rays least until the New Reformed a lot more interesting. your femur, Xalfraxian Alliance thaws you out. noticed you.

True love will careen into your life without warning next week, spin you around, take your breath away, dislocate your elbow, shatter and move on without having


english corner

••

A section for all you budding etymologists where each week the origin of a word or phrase is investigated. This week it is.... Put the cart before the horse Reverse the accepted or logical order of things. An image of a horse and cart the wrong way round looks preposterous. That’s as it should be as the word ‘preposterous’ entered the English language precisely to describe such back to front imagery. Of course, ‘pre’ derives from Latin and is a standard prefix, that is, it is ‘at the front’. Likewise, the Latin ‘post’ means ‘at the back’, so ‘preposterous’ actually denotes the normal arrangement of things, with the front at the front and the back at the back. ‘Postprerous’ might have been a better choice of word but, like ‘head over heels’, which also makes no sense, it’s too late to change now. An early reference to ‘putting the cart before the horse’ comes in George Puttenham’s The Arte of English Poesie, 1589:

A hysteron proteron is a figure of speech we inherited from the Greeks, in which the thing that should come second is put first; for example, ‘putting on one’s shoes and socks’. It isn’t surprising that, when needing an Anglicised proverb to express that notion, the English turned toward what they knew best, that is, agriculture, and in particular, horses. There are more ‘horse phrases’ in English than those referring to any other animal, including ‘man’s best friends’, dogs. The notion of things being the opposite of what they rightfully should be seems to have played on the minds of the English at the time when modern English began to be formed, that is, in the 16th century. It is a common theme in Shakespeare and The Tempest, Macbeth and A Midsummer Night’s Dream all contain ‘world turned upside down’ magical elements. Other ‘back to front’ English phrases include ‘the tail is wagging the dog’, ‘upside down’, ‘topsy-turvy’ and ‘inside out’.

Ye haue another manner of disordered speach, when ye misplace your words or clauses and set that before which should be behind. We call it in English prouerbe, the cart before the horse, the Greeks call it Histeron proteron, we name it the Preposterous.

Is there an English phrase or saying that you would like to know more about? Email it to us on submissions@awolonline.net

He was probably referring back to, or possibly translating directly from, a work by Cicero (106 BC - 43 BC) - On Friendship: “We put the cart before the horse, and shut the stable door when the steed is stolen, in defiance of the old proverb.”

Get notified when the latest awol is online by subscribing to our weekly email Go to awolonline.net or email info@awolonline.net

Restaurant Thai Food

Live Sports SMALL Beers

Singha 50 Chang, Leo 45

Big BEERS

Leo, Chang 70 Heineken 85

wooden house kiwi PUB

open 8 am to midnight

Located in Samortan Village off Canal Road - turn for Taweeporn Tel. 091 449 4551 Condotel and follow road for 350 m - look for orange awning

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classifieds Business

Thriving local restaurant and premises for sale. Two storey townhouse on a corner plot comprising a small restaurant with two kitchen areas and toilet on the ground floor, and 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms on the upper floor, located in a busy residential area with several large estates in walking distance. Reluctantly selling this excellent property and business to invest elsewhere. Price 5.2 m baht. Please call 093 139 9655.

Property Law Criminal & Civil Law Family Law Company Registration Visa & Notary Services

Contact: rita@legalserviceshuahin.com facebook.com/legalserviceshuahin Located at Makro Food services

Employment

General

awol is hiring!

We are the only weekly newspaper in this area and we are looking for two motivated and engaging people to work in the key areas of sales and distribution. Requirements: Thai Nationals, Good understanding of spoken and written English, Well presented, Previous experience in a sales environment useful but not a necessity, Ability to work to deadlines, Own transport (not essential but preferred). The positions will involve selling advertising space in the newspaper and online as the major task, as well as maintaining relations with existing customers and dealing with renewals of ads, and coordinating and monitoring the efficient distribution of the paper every week. Conditions: The positions are full time jobs and the successful candidates will be expected to work 40 hours a week; however these hours will need to be spread flexibly, as this is not a normal 9 to 5, Monday to Friday office job as many existing and potential customers are only available to discuss their requirements or settle invoices in the evenings or at weekends. The initial salary offered to the successful candidates will vary depending on previous experience and abilities, but will be in the range of 10,000 to 15,000 baht a month, plus any extra commission earned through performance. There will be sales targets which if achieved will generate this extra income. We anticipate this could result in an income averaging at least 20,000 baht a month, with exceptional candidates capable of earning much more. There will be a probation period of 115 days for anyone hired, with an assessment of performance at the end of it. Application: Please send an email to info@awolonline.net with the subject line “Employment Application” and include your reasons for wanting to work for AWOL, your previous work history, your personal details including phone number and address, and any other information you believe is relevant to your application. Closing date for applications is 30th November 2017

SERVICES

driving in thailand? International driving licence valid 5 years 1800 bt. Call 089 530 8771 (Eng)

Do You Want a 100% fulfilling Life? Everyone has certain aspects of their lives which they want to change. Life can get tough and overwhelming but that doesn’t mean you have to live an unsatisfactory life. Let me help you live the life of your dreams. Email rjnuis@expat-nomad-life-coaching.com or call 099-1630 747 personals

Struggling with Stress, Anxiety, or Depression? Are most days full of sadness or worries? Everybody experiences these problems at one time or another. Local councillor available in Hua Hin to help. Email: bob@ dorchesterassociates.co.uk

barn shop 10k North of Cha Am, opened 10th November

selling collection from 50 years working around Southeast Asia. Thailand village handicraft textiles (silk/cotton). Wonderful Laos tribal weaving, basketry. Own-design costume jewellery, More! BARN full of great Xmas/ New Year gift ideas! Come visit. 081 632 4957. Google Map 12.8764, 100.01124. Facebook thebarnshop.chaam

General - sports

Golf Society looking

for new members. LVGS play Monday & Friday at Lake View. Membership is mixed sex and mixed handicap. Enjoyment is paramount. Regular away trips and social events. Mail: hhlvgs@ gmail.com

auto

advertise your car, bike or other vehicle for sale here - only 300

baht for 13 weeks.

Property for sale

LAND FOR SALE

17 Rai in the Kui Buri area, near National Park and Yang Chum reservoir 499,000 baht per rai or 7 million for all. (offers considered) Full Chanote Call 081 614 8728 for more details.

Property wanted

Property partner wanted

to take a share (or long term rental) in a new 4th floor 1 bed condo unit completing soon at The Pine in Khao Takiab; any arrangement considered but 50% ownership preferred. Call 082 892 1266

property for Rent

advertise your property to rent here! Wanted

place your WANTED ad here! announcements

make your personal or business announcement here; Weddings, Birthdays, Funerals, Obituaries, Barmitzvahs, Parties, anything!

Placing a classified with AWOL

All ads run for a minimum of thirteen weeks/issues. Maximum 25 words for any Single ad; longer ads possible by purchasing/using more ads. Prices: Single ad - 300 baht; Subscriptions: Basic (12 ads) - 1200 baht; Extra (36 ads) - 2700 baht; Extra Plus (72 ads) - 3600 baht. Featured (boxed) ads cost an additional 2 single ads Option 1: register or log in at www.awolonline.net/classifieds and place your advert there; Option 2: email to classifieds@awolonline.net; Option 3: Facebook users can join our Group ‘AWOL Classifieds’ and place ads there for free; Option 4: write the details clearly in BLOCK capitals on paper and mail or drop it in to our office (address on page 2) . No adverts published (except Facebook) without prior payment. Deadline for inclusion in that week’s issue is Tuesday 6pm. Please notify us on classifieds@awolonline.net or by calling 081 649 8361 if you want an ad removed before it’s due date. No refunds given for removed ads. Payment: Cash at our office; Bank transfer/deposit (online or ATM/ADM) - A/C no. 489-0-04184-2 (KTB Bank), or credit/debit cards via Paypal, or Paypal transfer; Paypal email info@awolonline.net


awol bazaar This box for 10 weeks just 800 baht

Got a Happy Hour? Tell everyone here!

Post your notice about anything here!

This box for 26 weeks just 1300 baht

advertise in this space from only 160 baht per week

(based on a 6 month run)

contact us on 081 649 8361

Contact: Tel.: 082 298 0500 E-mail: luckyrealestatehuahin@gmail.com Website: luckyhuahin.com

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS If you want to drink, that’s your business, if you want to stop, we can help.

Call to speak to an AA member:

Peo (Swedish) - 086 012 0856 Henrik - 095-950-7550 Loren - 081-007-6856 Terry aatha - 091-883-7757 iland.org www. Meetings every day in Hua Hin

AWOL BAZAAR PRICES Blocks of 4 boxes like this from only 40 baht per box/week Blocks of 8 boxes from only 35 baht per box/week Contact us on 081 649 8361 for more details

LAND FOR SALE

17 Rai in the Kui Buri area, near National Park and Yang Chum reservoir 499,000 baht per rai or 7 million for all (offers considered) Full Chanote Call 081 614 8728 for more details

NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS

A non-profit fellowship of men and women for whom drugs have become a major problem

Meetings now in Hua Hin on Sundays at 10am, Tuesdays and Thursdays at 12 noon, and every Friday at 8.30am Contact Add 086 014 7585 Andy 062 01815

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money & information overseas calls information

Useful Numbers

REVERSE CHARGE CALLS The list below is the free number to connect to an operator of that country to request the reverse charge call. ARGENTINA 001-999-54-1000/ 2000 AUSTRALIA 001-999-61-1000/2000 AUSTRIA 001-800-28787421 BAHRAIN 001-999-973-1000 BRUNEI 001-999-673-1000 CANADA 001-999-15-1000/2000 DENMARK 001-999-45-1000 FRANCE 001-999-33-1000 GERMANY 001-999-49-1000 HAWAII 001-800-865-8424 HONG KONG 001-999-852-1086 INDONESIA 001-999-62-1000/2000 ISRAEL 001-999-972-1000/ 2000 ITALY 001-999-39-1000 JAPAN 001-999-811-0051 KOREA 001-999-82-1000/ 2000/ 2001 MACAU 001-999-853-1000 MALAYSIA 001-999-60-1000/4000/ 4001 MALTA 001-999-356-1000 MEXICO 001-999-52-1000 NEPAL 001-800-977-1-9999 NETHERLANDS 001-999-31-1035 NEW ZEALAND 001-999-64-1066 PHILIPPINES 001-999-63-1000/ 3000/ 6000 PORTUGAL 001-999-351-1000 RUSSIA 001-999-7-1000 SINGAPORE 001-999-65-0000/ 2008 SOUTH AFRICA 001-999-27-1000 SPAIN 001-999-34-1066 TAIWAN 001-999-886-1000 U.A.E. 001-999-971-1000 U.K. 001-999-44-1066 U.S.A. 001-999-1-1111/ 2001/ 2002 Thanks to the staff at CAT in Hua Hin for providing the above numbers. FREE and cheap CALLS If your mobile phone or device and that of the person you are calling supports it, you can use a number of apps to make free calls anywhere, with the best known being Skype and Viber. The mobile phone operators offer special numbers to prefix an international number to get cheap rate international calls. More information call True 1331 AIS 1175 DTAC 1678

Police 191 Crime 195 Fire 199 Traffic Control Centre 197 Highway Police 1193 Tourist Police 1699 Tourist Service Centre 1155 Missing Persons 02 282 1815 Police Station 032 511 027 Tourist Police 032 516 219 Cha-Am Police 032 471 321 Bangkok Hospital 1719 Hua Hin Hospital 032 511 743 San Paulo Hospital 032 532 576 to 585 Red Cross 032 512 567 Municipality 032 532433 Tessabahn 032 511 047 Immigration 032 520 617 Bus Terminal (non air-con) 032 511 230 (air-con) 032 511654, 512543 Railway Station 032 511 073 Tourist Information 032 513 885 Electricity Office 032 512 215 Electricity Call Centre 1129 Water Office 032 511 677 TOT 032 519 000/001 TOT Call Centre 1100 TT&T 032 532 018 3BB 032-900020-1 086-0127273 3BB Call Centre 1530 CAT 032 511 350 Alcoholics Anonymous 0870 620 098 Narcotics Anonymous 084 314 1928

exchange rates (22-11-17)

Currency Baht Algerian Dinar 0.286 Argentine Peso 1.87 Australian Dollar 24.8 Bitcoin 267513 Brazilian Real 10.1 British Pound 43.4 Bulgarian Lev 19.6 Canadian Dollar 25.6 Chilean Peso 0.0516 Chinese Yuan 4.94 Croatian Kuna 5.11 Czech Koruna 1.51 Danish Krone 5.17 Egyptian Pound 1.86 Ethereum 11863 Euro 38.5 Hong Kong Dollar 4.19 Hungarian Forint 0.123 Iceland Krona 0.317 Indian Rupee 0.505 Indonesian Rupiah 0.0024 Iranian Rial 0.0009 Israeli New Shekel 9.32 Japanese Yen 0.292 Korean Won 0.03 Malaysian Ringgit 7.94 Mexican Peso 1.74 New Zealand Dollar 22.4 Nigerian Naira 0.092 Norwegian Krone 3.99 Pakistan Rupee 0.312 Philippine Peso 0.647 Polish Zloty 9.12 Qatari Rial 8.47 Romanian Leu 8.28 Russian Ruble 0.554 Saudi Riyal 8.73 Serbian Dinar 0.325 Singapore Dollar 24.2 South African Rand 2.34 Local Consular Sri Lanka Rupee 0.213 Representatives Swedish Krona 3.88 Swiss Franc 33.1 CANADIAN Taiwan Dollar 1.1 Rick Pomerleau 087 153 3817 or e-mail Turkish Lira 8.27 rickpomerleau@hotmail.com UAE Dirham 8.92 FINNISH US Dollar 32.7 Mr. Sipi Siljamaeki 087-911 8119 or e-mail: Ukraine Hryvnia 1.24 suthiporn.siljamaki@gmail.com AMERICAN Mr. Christopher Byrd 081-173 4469 or e-mail: AWOL makes no warranties, express or implied, chrs@tourdeasia.org regarding these rates and shall not be liable for any losses or damages incurred in connection with them.


balloon chasers

••

Parties, special deals, regular events, celebrations and more; to get it in AWOL email submissions@awolonline. net or post it on our Balloon Chasers Facebook group. recently added and coming soon

fiji bula bar, soi 102; Saturday 2nd December from 7pm Grand Opening Party with live music and free food. siam handlebar, Phetkasem Road (opp. airport); Saturday 25th November

5 to 11pm Black and Chrome Party 3 in support of Jungle Aid; live music, 350 baht entry includes free t-shirt and first drink. For more details and to register interest go to their Facebook page. father teds, Damnoernkasem Road.

Friday 1st December 2nd Anniversary Party with draught beer/stout/cider at Happy Hour prices all day , food specials and live music. Regular offers Bobby’s Bar, Soi 102.; The 99 baht breakfast is Back! FREE Sunday Roast - spend 250 baht and get a free Sunday Roast (see ad p2). Available from 2 to 8pm. All You Can Eat Chicken Wings and Kebabs every Friday from 5pm to 7pm when spend 200 bt. double d, Soi 6. Happy Hour every day from 2 - 8pm; Buy 2 get 1 free on all small domestic beers, Samsong + mixer 40 baht, Wine 55 baht, San Miguel and Heineken 65 baht, large domestic beers 70 baht. el murphy’s, soi selekam. Murfs Happy Times from 7am to 7pm Pints of: Guinness 189 bt, Old Speckled Hen 210 bt, Magners and Stowfor cider 180 bt. All day Chang and Leo Large 90 bt, small 49 bt.

Saturday from 2-6pm, All You Can 376 9438 or go to our Facebook page. Drink draught Leo; Ladies 300 baht, Next quiz on 19th December. Men 400 baht tk roadhouse, Khao Takiab. First red piano, soi kanjanomai. Happy Tuesday of every month ‘The Best Quiz Hour every day from 5 - 7pm BOGOF. In Town’! 8 rounds, beer questions, free the palm bistro, soi 88. Join their food. Sunday Lunch Club and start earning a British style free Sunday Roast (see ad p3) Sunday Roasts: siam handlebar, Phetkasem Road (opp. airport); Breakfast now available Andreanna’s, Khao Takiab seven days a week from 9.30am to 12 Bobby’s Bar, Soi 102 noon. Ladies Night every Saturday; Father Teds, Damnoernkasem Road from 8 to 11pm first drink free, 50% Hua Hin Miss You, Soi 80 thereafter (wine, small beer, Spy, soft ian’s restaurant, khao takiab (099 497 3040) drinks, mixers, ice only) toon’s bar and restaurant, soi 6, Jungle Juice, Soi Selekam borfai. Premier League Happy Hour - millers hua hin, soi 91 during matches get 3 for 2 on all small Mucky Duck, Bonkai (Soi 88) domestic beers. Now open every day Nany’s Cafe, Soi 88 from 3pm serving a wide range of Thai Nit’s Kitchen, Soi 94 and Western food until 9pm, and great Orchid Restaurant 94, Soi 94 prices all day every day on drinks until Palm Bistro, Soi 88 (032 828144) Seajays Resort, off Pala-U Road. 083 late

311 1787

Uncle Bryn’s (2km past Palm Hills north along klong road. Turn left Sunset

Boulevard,

Khao

Bookings only 084 376 9438

Takiab.

and 200m on left.); Large beers at great Ye Olde Buffalo Tavern, Chomsin Rd prices. Open daily 7am-late. 085 405 Zab Wer, Soi 112. 6976 (T) 080 197 2072(E) pub quizzes

thanksgiving/ christmas/new year

COOPERS 94 INTERNATIONAL QUIZ: planning a special event at your Monday 27th November 2017. This has restaurant or bar for the festive now been CANCELLED. seasons? Let us know so our readers king bar, Soi Binthabaht. Quiz can book in advance by reading it here

second Monday of every month (next one Monday 11th December 2017 at 7.30 pm) . Free entry, food and prizes hosted by Hawk - all welcome.

- and all for FREE!

johnnie walkers, poolsuk road; Christmas Lunch from 1pm (see ad p8) the palm bistro, soi 88; Christmas Sunset Boulevard, Khao Takiab. Bookings Now being taken for Christmas Eve Third Tuesday of the month 7.30pm - and Christmas Day, contact: 032 828144 or 10pm. All video home compiled quiz reservations@thepalmbistro.com

with 8 rounds including audio visual rounds. Teams of up to 6. Free half time food and free entry but minimum father teds, Damnoernkasem Road. bar bill 200 Baht per person. Bookings Live music, special food and drink essential as there is limited space 084 offers, draught Guinness, something happening every night! See add on p2 for details. johnnie walker, soi selekam/ poolsuk road. Happy Hour every day

from 9am to 8pm.

nany’s cafe, soi 88. Friday special - Fish,

chips and mushy peas 139 bt, Atlantic cod fillet chips and mushy peas 220 bt. Also Leo draft now available small(half) 55 bt, large(pint) 75 bt passport cafe, Samorphrong. Now open for Breakfasts, Freshly baked bread, Daily Specials and more (see ad p9) PIT’S CAFE, Dusitland 8, Soi 94. Every

TRADITIONAL HOME MADE COOKING - THAI AND ENGLISH TOP OF SOI 94 OPEN DAILY 8AM TO LATE ALL DAY BREAKFASTS TRADITIONAL SUNDAY ROAST - Lamb, Pork, Beef, Chicken Peas, Cauliflower, Broccoli, Carrots, Cabbage, Mash, Roast Potatoes, Yorkshire Pudding, Stuffing one free glass of wine with your sunday lunch! Pies, Beef Stew, Bangers & Mash, Fish & Chips & more! TAKEAWAY CALL 081 820 2309

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events with surf 102.5fm events

Ongoing

Rescue Paws is a non-profit organization based in Hua Hin dedicated to helping and improving the lives of Thailand’s stray animal population. Find out more on their website rescuepawsasia.org or Facebook page RescuePawsThailand Trash Hero Hua Hin now every Sunday at 3pm a beach area gets cleaned. See their eponymous Facebook page for weekly details HUA HIN HOBBY COOKING CLUB If cooking is your hobby you can join an international group of hobby cooks in Hua Hin. Tel. Robert 0983 562290 Dusit Thani Hua Hin Soccer Academy: exercise and professional football coaching for kids. Hua Hin Hash house Harriers every Saturday around the area. (see p14) Cicada Market and Performing Arts Fair. The Upcoming Venue@Suansri. Fri/Sat evenings from Inform awol or Surf fm of your sunset to 12 pm, Sundays from 4pm; charitable or non commercial event and Dining, shopping, art, performances, and we will announce it here films in a beautiful park-like setting. A great place to spend an evening Welcome to our collaborative section with Hua Hin’s only local radio station playing Western music 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, the one and only Surf 102.5 FM! Every day Surf features local events and activities that visitors and locals might be interested in enjoying, and you will find these below. If you know of an event, activity or regular happening that is not listed here or in our Balloon Chasers section, please get in touch by email to either AWOL (submissions@awolonline.net or Surf 102.5 FM (surf102.5fm@gmail.com) or via either of the respective Facebook pages; AWOLexpat or Surf102.5. Get on the air! Go along any Friday morning to the Siam Bakery at the Marriott to have a chat or just watch the guys do the Breakfast Show between 7 and 10 am.

surf 102.5 fm schedule • The Marriott Breakfast Show with Steve Johnston Mon. to Fri. 7:00 - 10:00 • Asia Pop 40 with Dom Lau Sat. 09:00 - 12:00, Sun. 15:00 - 18:00 Tue. 21:00 - 24:00 • “Something On The Radio” with James Ross Sun., Tues., Thu. 20:00-22:00 • LA Spinz with Peter Reynolds Mon., Wed.19:30 Fri. 20:15 • Q Burn Rocks On with Peter Antony Fri. 22:00 Sun. 00:00 • The Mellow Show with Gary Zeipe Sun. 22:00 - 00:00 • Soft Surf Mon -Thurs, Sat. 22:00 - 01:00 • BBC News headlines every hour • BBC News Sat., Sun. 07:00 - 08:00, Every day 19:00- 19:30

Brand New Townhouses For Sale near Pranburi Hospital

• 3 three storey townhouses • Pranburi • Large Parking Area in front • 4 Bedrooms • 3 Bathrooms

Price between 2.7 and 2.9 million baht For more information or to view the properties call 081 614 8728 (Eng/Thai)


weird news

••

Kazakhstan Baron Cohen to pay fine for Czechs sporting Borat mankinis Comic actor Sacha Baron Cohen has offered to pay the fines for six Czech tourists who were reportedly detained by authorities in Kazakhstan’s capital Astana for dressing up as his character Borat. Sporting lime green “mankinis” and black wigs, the men had hoped to take a picture in front of the “I Love Astana” sign earlier this month. But local police fined them some $68 each for committing minor hooliganism, according to local media. In a Facebook post on Tuesday, Baron Cohen says: “To my Czech mates who were arrested. Send me your details and proof that it was you, and I’ll pay your fine.” The swimsuit became popular after Baron Cohen sported it in the 2006 movie “Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan.” That film offended many Kazakhs by portraying the country as backward and degenerate.

••

usa US Navy crew grounded after drawing penis in sky The US Navy has confirmed one of their jets was involved in the drawing of a penis in skies over Okanogan County in Washington state. An official from Naval Air Station (NAS) Whidbey Island acknowledged a Navy E/A-18 Growler warplane was responsible for the “immature act” on Friday. The air crew have been grounded while an investigation is carried out. Vice Admiral Mike Shoemaker, the commander of Naval Air Forces, told Sky News: “The Navy holds its aircrew to the highest standards and we find this absolutely unacceptable, of zero training value and we are holding the crew accountable. “Sophomoric and immature antics of a sexual nature have no place in Naval aviation today. We will investigate this incident to get all the facts and act accordingly. “This event clearly stands in stark contrast to the way our aviators and sailors are performing with utmost professionalism, discipline and excellence from our carrier flight decks and expeditionary airfields around the world today.” A television station reported that a mother in Okanogan County was concerned she might have to explain the phallic symbol to her young children.

There were others who appeared amused by the stunt. Resident Ramone Duran told the Spokesman Review: “After it made circles at the bottom, I knew what it was and started laughing. “It was pretty funny to see that.” Another onlooker tweeted that it was “the most monumental thing to happen” in their community.

••

uk Greggs ‘sorry’ for replacing Jesus with sausage roll in Christmas advert There are calls for the baker to be boycotted over the “sick” publicity image, but others have been able to see the funny side. Greggs has apologised for a Christmas advert that replaced the baby Jesus with a sausage roll in a traditional nativity scene. The offending image shows the Three Wise Men surrounding one of Greggs’ trademark sausage rolls, rather than the newborn Jesus. But the image has been deemed tasteless rather than tasty by pressure group the Freedom Association, with chief executive Simon Richards describing the image as “sick” and those behind it as “cowards”. He tweeted: “Please boycott @GreggsOfficial to protest against its sick anti-Christian Advent Calendar. “What cowards these people are: we all know that they would never dare insult other religions! They should donate every penny of their profits to @salvationarmyuk.” But the spoof has proved more popular with other social media users, with calls for those offended to “get a grip” and another saying it had “made her day”. A Greggs spokesperson said: “We’re really sorry to have caused any offence, this was never our intention.”

Contacting AWOL Telephone:

081 649 8361 (Eng) or 081 614 8728 (Thai) Office:

Website:

www.awolonline.net Facebook:

136/229 Emerald Hill, Soi 6, Borfai, Hua Hin, 77110, AWOLexpat Prachuap Kiri Khan Twitter: Email:

info@awolonline.net

awolhuahin

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18

LOCAL SPORTS hua hin city F.C

Hua Hin City F. C. is the local professional team formed in 2011, playing their matches at the Takiab Stadium in Khao Takiab. FIXTURES The season is over. New season details and other news will be announced here when available thai League 4 Western Region table

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Team Suphanburi B Muangkan United BTU United Assumption United Ratchaburi Mitr Phol B IPE Samut Sakhon United Hua Hin City Look Isan Nonthaburi Pathum Thani United

P 27 27 27 27 27 27 27 27 27 27

GD PTS 36 64 19 56 20 51 22 48 3 39 -1 38 -5 29 -19 27 -18 26 -57 4

SUPPORT AWOL AND OUR LOCAL SPORTS BY SPONSORING THESE PAGES. Call 081 649 8361 hua hin world cup 2017

This year’s competition is booked for the weekend of 9th and 10th December, and will take place at True Arena. The organisers want to raise awareness and get people involved either as players or support as soon as possible so to find out more and be kept in the loop, please email huahinworldcup@gmail.com. Last year’s Facebook page (Red Mountain Hua Hin World Cup 2016) is currently the only other place to get information, but a new page will be set up soon for this year’s competition. There is always a charity element to the competiton, with last year Jungle Aid being the beneficiaries, but this has not been announced yet for this year. There are also sponsorship opportunities, so please contact the organisers on the email address above if you are interested in this as well. Last year’s winners were Thailand, following up their win the previous year, with Sweden and Finland the other winners since the tournament started in 2013. hash house harriers

A drinking Club with a running & walking Problem! N 12.541167, E and head east towards Hua Hin. Drive The Cha-Am and Hua Hin Hash House GPS Coordinates: 3.95 km and turn right (HHH Sign) onto Harrier Clubs meet alternate Saturdays 99.888600 (N 12 32.470, E 99 53.316) route 2004 and then follow direction as for around an hour’s run/walk in the above. surrounding countryside followed by DIRECTIONS to RUN SITE a social gathering. If you would like to From Hua Hin & Cha-Am via Phet Any queries then please call Paddy Red come along then please visit our website Kasem Road: www.h2h3-cah3.weebly.com or Facebook Google Map Link: https://goo.gl/maps/ Belly on 061 217 9024 or Rubber Duck on 095 959 6114 at www.facebook.com/H2H3CAH3 for B6J8DDnSYi32 full details and directions. Please note Make you way to Soi 70 traffic light that people attending and participating junction and turn right from the North and Left from the south. Drive 450 m do so entirely at their own risk. NEXT RUN Saturday 25th and turn right heading towards Pala-U November 2017, meeting @ 4:00 and the bypass. Then drive 6.7 km and pm for a 4:30 pm Start turn left after temple on left (HHH sign). Hua Hin Hash House Harriers (H2H3) Continue a further 2.6 km on route 2004 Run #373 and turn right just before the 14 km SCOTCH TAPE MEMORIAL RUN (ST marker (HHH sign). Drive 700 m and ANDREWS DAY CELEBRATION) turn left onto gravel road (HHH sign) DRESS CODE: TARTAN and continue a further 500 m to hash site Hares: Paddy Red Belly & Rubber Duck on left. Plenty of car parking. Hash Snacks: Miss Snickers Tax Collector: Mudman From Cha-Am via Bypass. LOCATION: Between Route 2004 and Google Map Link: https://goo.gl/maps/ Route 37 Bypass NuAXd643MrC2 Google Map Link: https://goo.gl/maps/ From Cha Am: Drive south down bypass Kmk7RDZLVoA2 and exit left at the Pala-U road flyover


local golf Butterfly Rock Golf society

Hua Hin Golf Society

Results 17th November 2017 Palm Hills Stableford 26 entered 1st Olivier Pinard 37 pts (06) 2nd Hubert Maldonado 37 pts (15) 3rd Neung Chueanil 35 pts (06) 4th Robert Laminit 35 pts (07) fixtures 28th November 2017 Majestic Stableford 15th November 2017 Springfield AB Stableford, NTP and 1st December 2017 Panarangsri Stableford Twos 27 entered 1st Seppo Rintala 38 pts (13) cha am golf club 2nd Richard Skinner 36 pts (08) Contact: secretary@chaamgolfclub.com 3rd Abe Gurman 36 pts (19) FIXTURES 4th Terry Hofgartner 35 pts (24) No fixtures currently announced lake view Fixtures members club 25th November 2017 BRGC v Saensuk v Results FLAGS Majestic Creek 27th November 2017 Lake View A&B 17th November 2017 Stableford. Course AC Stableford 29th November 2017 Black Mountain 1st Mikeal Snakebite (6) 34pts 2nd Steve OBrien (12) 33pts Stableford 3rd Mick Court (16) 33pts palm hills 4th Mark Simpson (16) 33pts RESULTS 20th November 2017 Lake View AB Stableford 14 entered 1st Mark Simpson 35 pts (15) 2nd Colm ODonovan 34 pts (18) 3rd Pekka Hogman 32 pts (13) 4th Elina Rintala 30 pts (21)

saensuk Golf Society

Results 20th November 2017 Springfield C & A Splinter Cell Stableford 18 entered 1st MickeTredahl 35 pts (02) 2nd Goran Sundin 34 pts (03) 3rd Chalisa Grahn 31 pts (26) 4th Paul Badenoch-Jones 30 pts (07) fixtures Monday/Friday Springfield Splinter Cell Stableford 29th November 2017 Banyan - Prime Cup

friday roll up

Held every Friday at Palm Hills. Please contact Ronnie on 0811 942 556 if you are interested in joining in, and thanks to Ronnie for the results. 17th november 2017 16 players Front 9 - Tom McGiff (24) 17points Back 9 - Nigel Guest (12) 16 points Overall - Mark Ridgeway (13) 33 points

20th November 2017 Course AB 1st Steve O’Brien (12) 33pts 2nd Gary Engelman (13) 32pts 3rd Dave Allgaier (5) 30pts 4th David Leaver (20) 28pts FIXTURES Lake View every Monday, Wednesday, Friday

HUA HIN DARTS LEAGUE

League Table Team JW Black El Toro Loco JW Red Pinky Bar Blue Lagoon

P W D 7 6 0 6 5 0 7 3 0 8 2 0 6 1 0

L 1 1 4 6 5

+/- Pts 9 12 16 10 -5 6 -8 4 -12 2

fixtures The season is over. Final table will be printed here when available, and any details of a new season.

Crossword Solution

Here is last issue’s Crossword solution.

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20

pool leagues hua hin khao takiab super Pool League

results week 5 16th november Bar 80 Saloon 13 - 7 Mint Bar Big Kahuna 12 - 8 Mausi Bar Coopers Beer Lounge 10 - 10 Jaew Bar Patty’s Family 7 - 13 Nalee Bar Sabai Bar 12 - 8 Silver Fox SF Wolverines 7 - 13 MasterCues Bar Squealing Pig 12 - 8 Mr Dan’s 88 The Connection Cafe 9 - 11 Hua Hin Bar

results week 27 16th november Arilds Bar 8 - 13 Tiki Bar Home 10 - 11 Bobby’s Birds Hut Bar 5 - 16 N & G Bar Lanla Bar 10 - 11 Fin Bar Muan Bar 18 - 3 Star Bar Mucky Duck v Sweetheart Bar n/a Pits Cafe 14 - 7 Le Kiss Bar The Dream 10 - 11 Drink & Shelter Tore’s Bar 6 - 15 Tap House Bar

Fixtures week 7 30th november Bar 80 Saloon v Silver Fox Big Kahuna v Mr Dan’s 88 Coopers Beer Lounge v Mausi Bar Hua Hin Bar v MasterCues Bar Sabai Bar v Patty’s Family Sabai Bar Silver Fox Wolverines v Mint Bar Squealing Pig v Nalee Bar The Connection Cafe v Jaew Bar

Fixtures week 29 30th november Bobby’s Birds v Arilds Bar Fin Bar v Tore’s Bar High Five v Pits Cafe Le Kiss Bar v Lanla Bar N & G Bar v The Dream Star Bar v Mucky Duck Sweetheart Bar v Home Tap House Bar v Muan Bar Tiki Bar v Hut Bar P 25 26 24 25 25 25 25 24 24 24 26 22 24 26 25 25 22 26 19 15

W 23 20 19 21 19 17 15 13 11 14 10 11 7 7 8 5 7 1 3 1

L 2 6 5 4 6 8 10 11 13 10 16 11 17 19 17 20 15 25 16 14

+/349 332 323 319 305 303 297 282 252 251 251 230 228 220 216 194 183 172 144 -133

Pts 349 332 323 319 305 303 297 282 252 251 251 230 228 220 216 194 183 172 144 91

Team MasterCues Bar Hua Hin Bar Coopers Nalee Bar Bar 80 Saloon Silver Fox Squealing Pig Sabai Bar The Connection Big Kahuna Jaew Bar Mint Bar SF Wolverines Pattys Family Mausi Bar Mr Dan’s 88

P W D L 5 5 0 0 5 5 0 0 5 3 1 1 5 4 0 1 5 3 0 2 5 2 1 2 5 3 0 2 5 3 1 1 5 2 0 3 5 2 0 3 5 2 1 2 5 0 2 3 5 1 0 4 5 1 0 4 5 0 0 5 5 0 2 3

+/42 24 12 18 4 2 0 12 -4 -8 -10 -14 -18 -24 -24 -12

LUCKY SHOT BAR

Hua Hin’s only pool bar with FOUR 9’ tables Ask about our drinks specials and other special offers Contact Andy on 086 178 1550 Email: aknabe@gmx.net 27/3 Poolsuk Road, Hua Hin Hua Hin Pool Billiard League

fixtures The season is over. New season details will be printed here when available. League tablE

League tablE

League Table Team Tap House Bar Tiki Bar Muan Bar N & G Bar Mucky Duck Drink & Shelter Pits Cafe Home Lanla Bar Arilds Bar Bobby’s Birds Fin Bar Le Kiss Bar The Dream Star Bar Tore’s Bar High Five Hut Bar Sweetheart Bar Hut Bar

thursday friendly Pool League

Pts 81 72 63 62 58 56 56 53 52 50 50 45 43 40 38 36

Team Pits Rangers Pits Pirates Big Kahuna Lucky Shot B Lucky Shot A Muan Bar

P 10 10 10 10 10 10

W 8 5 3 2 3 0

D 2 3 5 4 1 3

L 0 2 2 4 6 7

+/28 8 8 -6 -10 -28

Pts 18 13 11 8 7 3

friday team League

results week 5 17th november 2017 Ba Na Na Bar 13 - 11 Coopers 94 Bobbys Bar 17 - 7 Miss you Team Home Bar 18 - 6 Aonzy Bar Nalee Bar 11 - 13 Mucky Duck Sabai Bar - no game Fixtures week 7 1st december 2017 Ba Na Na Bar v Miss you Team Bobbys Bar v Nalee Bar No game - Aonzy Bar Coopers 94 v Home Bar Mucky Duck v Sabai Bar League tablE Team Home Bar Coopers 94 Sabai Bar Bobbys Bar Aonzy Bar Ba Na Na Bar Mucky Duck Nalee Bar Miss You Bar

P W D L 4 4 0 0 5 3 0 2 4 4 0 0 4 3 0 1 5 1 0 4 5 1 1 3 4 2 1 1 4 1 0 3 5 0 0 5

+/54 24 26 14 -30 -30 -8 -12 -38

Bikini Bar has left the league

Pts 75 72 61 55 45 45 44 42 41


pool leagues hua hin wednesday Pool League

results Week 12 22nd november 2017 Baan Sanook v Pit’s Cafe 1 n/a Pit’s Cafe 2 6 - 13 Lucky Shot 1 Lucky Shot 2 13 - 6 Infinity Big Kahuna 15 - 4 Arilds League Table Team Lucky Shot 1 Pit’s Cafe 1 Lucky Shot 2 Big Kahuna Pit’s Cafe 2 Infinity Baan Sanook Arilds

P 11 10 11 11 11 11 10 11

W 8 8 7 6 6 4 4 0

L 3 2 4 5 5 7 6 11

+ 127 123 120 125 99 87 78 58

Pts 16 16 14 12 12 8 8 0

FIXTURES Week 13 29th november 2017 Pit’s Cafe 1 v Pit’s Cafe 2 Lucky Shot 2 v Lucky Shot 1 Baan Sanook v Big Kahuna Arilds v Infinity hua hin soi 80 tuesday Pool League

Fixtures The season is over. Details of a new season will appear here when available. League Table Team Exotic Bar Fin Bar 1 Fin Bar 2 Bar 80 Saloon Mona Bar Mint Bar Hua Hin Bar ‘K’ Eagle Bar Hua Hin Bar ‘S’ Hut Bar

P 18 18 18 18 18 18 18 18 18 18

W 12 12 11 10 7 6 7 6 4 2

D 3 2 4 1 3 5 1 1 2 4

L 3 4 3 7 8 7 10 11 12 12

+/- Pts 42 39 38 38 40 37 44 31 0 24 4 23 -12 22 -24 19 -68 14 -64 10

NWPL New Wednesday POOL LEAGUE

results Week 14 22nd november 2017 BRGC@Bar80 17 - 5 Aonzy Bar Breeze Bar 13 - 9 Tree Bar Fame 14 - 8 Tores Bar Home Bar Two 16 - 6 Coopers Blues Jaew Bar 8 - 14 Home Bar One Sabai Bar 10 - 12 Squealing Pig

League Table Team Home Bar Two BRGC@Bar80 Sabai Bar Home Bar One Tree Bar Breeze Bar Squealing Pig Fame Jaew Bar Tores Bar Aonzy Bar Coopers Blues

Fixtures Week 15 29th november 2017 Aonzy Bar v Home Bar Two Breeze Bar v BRGC@Bar80 Coopers Blues v Jaew Bar Home Bar One v Fame Tores Bar v Sabai Bar Tree Bar v Squealing Pig

P 14 14 14 14 14 14 14 14 14 14 14 14

W 13 12 12 7 7 5 5 4 4 3 3 1

d 0 0 0 1 0 2 0 3 2 2 2 4

L 1 2 2 6 7 7 9 7 8 9 9 9

+/- Pts 94 39 80 36 52 36 4 22 12 21 -36 17 -22 15 -34 12 -12 11 -28 11 -48 11 -62 7

Please note: Some points deductions have been made to three teams

tuesday POOL LEAGUE soi 94

HUA HIN social POOL LEAGUE

FIXTURES The season is over. Details of a new season will appear here when available.

Fixtures The season is over. However due to a number of outstanding games, no winner can yet be announced. Details of a new season will appear here when available.

League tablE Team Coopers Bar Tiki Bar Home Bar 2 Home Bar Arilds Sports Bar Connections Cafe Tores Bar Na Na Bar Tree Bar Nalee Bar Mausi Bar

P 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 19 20 19 20

W 18 17 16 9 7 6 6 6 5 2 1

D 0 1 2 5 4 4 4 1 4 4 3

L 2 2 2 6 9 10 10 12 11 13 16

+/132 128 104 38 -36 -8 -44 -34 -66 -94 -120

Pts 54 52 50 32 25 22 22 19 19 10 6

League Table Team Limelight JW Black King Bar N&G Bentho Bar Jungle Juice Cheetas Tiger Bar Pink Panther JW Red Jungle Juice L’pards All Nations GH Booz Bar

P 22 22 22 20 21 21 22 21 20 22 20 21

W 17 16 16 15 14 13 9 8 6 6 5 2

L 5 6 6 5 7 8 13 13 14 16 15 19

+/- Pts 76 34 66 32 66 32 82 30 31 28 23 26 -18 18 -71 16 -16 12 -88 12 -58 10 -93 4

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pool leagues

102 & 88 saturday POOL LEAGUE

hua hin star Pool League

results

FIXTURES week 1 25th november 2017 Banana Bar v Big Kahuna Bobby’s Bar v Bobby’s Babes High 5 v Master Ques Mucky Duck v Silver Fox

No matches last week

Fixtures week 13 26th november 2017 division 2 division 1 Derrick v Job Paul v Brian Kwan v Hampi Peter v Andy Brian v Tong Lieven v Prj Korn v Thong Pek v Dang

Shawn v Bernard Wad v Michel Mick v Tim Robbie v Tina Julius v Darren Steve v Gent John v Den Thong v Golf

League Tables division 1

division 2

Player

P +/- Pts Player

Korn Andy Hampi Pek Brian Thong Tong Peter Job Derrick Kwan Lieven Dang Prj Brian Paul

12 12 11 12 12 12 12 10 12 12 12 12 11 11 12 11

9 13 28 24 7 14 4 12 -6 -1 -1 -9 -6 -14 -35 -39

20 18 16 16 16 14 14 12 12 10 10 10 8 4 4 2

Thong Julius Gent Shawn Den Mick Bernard Darren Tim Wad Golf Robbie Michel Steve John Tina

29 20 9 14 12 6 5 4 0 2 -10 -7 -18 -23 -18 -25

22 22 18 16 16 14 12 12 12 10 10 8 6 6 4 4

Friends of Hua Hin Wednesday Pool League

results No fixtures last week. FIXTURES Week 10 22nd november 2017 Bobby’s Bangers v Bobby’s Beauties High Five Bar v Silver Fox Muan Bar v Mucky Duck Sunset Boulevard v Take 5 T.K. Roadhouse v Master Cues P W D L +/9 8 1 0 76 9 7 1 1 28 8 4 2 2 24 9 4 1 4 12 9 3 2 4 4 9 4 0 5 -8 8 4 0 4 -22 9 3 1 5 -24 9 1 2 6 -30 9 1 0 8 -60

Team Banana Bar Big Kahuna Bobby’s Babes Bobby’s Bar High 5 Master Ques Mucky Duck Silver Fox

P W D L 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0

+/0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0

Pts 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0

hua hin/khao takiab ladies Pool League

results Week 10 20th november 2017 Mausi Bar 15 - 7 High Five Muan..Super 9 - 13 Muan Bar Silver Fox..Kh v Aonzy n/a Sunset Boulevard 10 - 12 TK Roadhouse The Connection 8 - 14 Master Cue The Squealing Pig v Patty’88 Tore’s Bar 8 - 14 Silver Fox FIXTURES Week 11 27th november 2017 Aonzy v Muan..Super High Five v Silver Fox..Kh Master Cue v The Squealing Pig Muan Bar v Tore’s Bar Patty’88 v Mausi Bar Silver Fox v Sunset Boulevard TK Roadhouse v The Connection League tablE

League tablE Team Master Cues T.K. Roadhouse Bobby’s Bangers Muan Bar Mucky Duck Bobby’s B’ties Silver Fox Take 5 Sunset B’vard High Five Bar

results Week 11 17th november 2017 Fin Bar 10 - 13 TK Roadhouse High Five 7 - 16 Jungle Juice Muan Bar 10 - 13 The Connection Take 5 10 - 13 Sunset Boulevard

League tablE

P +/- Pts 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12

Hua Hin Khao Takiab Cool POOL LEAGUE

Pts 17 15 10 9 8 8 8 7 4 2

Team Muan Bar Master Cue Muan..Super Tk Roadhouse Sunset B’vard Squealing Pig Patty’88 Silver Fox The Connection Mausi Bar High Five Tore’s Bar Aonzy Silver Fox..Kh

P 10 10 10 10 10 9 9 9 9 10 9 10 9 8

W 7 7 7 7 5 5 4 5 3 3 2 1 1 1

D L 2 1 2 1 1 2 1 2 2 3 2 2 3 2 0 4 1 5 0 7 1 6 1 8 0 8 0 7

+/60 46 42 30 26 18 10 8 -12 -38 -46 -40 -48 -56

Pts 16 16 15 15 12 12 11 10 7 6 5 3 2 2

FIXTURES No matches next week League tablE Team TK Roadhouse Jungle Juice Fin Bar Take 5 Exotic Bar Muan Bar Sunset B’vard The Connection High Five

P 10 9 10 10 9 9 10 8 9

W 10 7 5 4 5 4 3 4 0

D L +/- Pts 0 0 76 153 0 2 39 123 0 5 -5 112 0 6 -12 109 0 4 -3 102 0 5 -4 101 0 7 -38 96 0 4 4 94 0 9 -57 75

leagues not currently running

Details of new seasons will be printed here when available. Organisers please contact AWOL with any information.

Disclaimer All articles are published in good faith and based on information available to us at publication. Some articles are satire or ‘spoof ’ stories intended as humour. No responsibility is accepted other than that stipulated by law. Although the information in this publication has been obtained from sources believed to be reliable, AWOL cannot guarantee accuracy in all cases. Any opinions expressed are those of the contributor and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher. All materials copyright. All rights reserved and no part of this publication may be reproduced in part or in full without the previous written consent of the publisher. Neither can any part be stored in a retrieval situation, nor transmitted by electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or any other means. AWOL is printed by Petchpoom Printing, and we can be contacted on info@awolonline.net or 081 614 8728. Please send any other communications to Mrs Chukamol James, Managing Director, AWOL Co. Ltd., 136/229 Emerald Hill, Soi 6, Mooban Borfai, Hua Hin, Prachuap Kiri Khan, 7110, THAILAND.


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english premier league table

(all times Thailand)

saturday 25th november 2017 PREMIER LEAGUE West Ham United v Leicester City 03:00 Crystal Palace v Stoke City 22:00 Manchester United v Brighton 22:00 Newcastle United v Watford 22:00 Swansea City v AFC Bournemouth 22:00 Tottenham Hotspur v WBA 22:00 CHAMPIONSHIP Barnsley v Leeds United 19:30 Aston Villa v Ipswich Town 22:00 Burton Albion v Sunderland 22:00 Fulham v Millwall 22:00 Hull City v Bristol City 22:00 Middlesbrough v Derby County 22:00 Norwich City v Preston North End 22:00 Reading v Sheffield Wednesday 22:00 Wolves v Bolton Wanderers 22:00 SCOTTISH PREMIERSHIP Dundee v Rangers 19:45 Hamilton Academical v Hibernian 22:00 Hearts v Ross County 22:00 sunday 26th november 2017 PREMIER LEAGUE Liverpool v Chelsea 00:30 Southampton v Everton 20:30 Burnley v Arsenal 21:00 Huddersfield T. v Manchester City 23:00 CHAMPIONSHIP Sheffield Utd v Birmingham City 00:30 Nottingham Forest v Cardiff City 20:00 SCOTTISH PREMIERSHIP Kilmarnock v Aberdeen 19:30 tuesday 28th november 2017 CHAMPIONSHIP Queens Park Rangers v Brentford 02:45 wednesday 29th november 2017 PREMIER LEAGUE Brighton v Crystal Palace 02:45 Leicester City v Tottenham H 02:45 Watford v Manchester United 03:00 WBA v Newcastle United 03:00 CHAMPIONSHIP Derby County v Ipswich Town 02:45 Reading v Barnsley 03:00

football

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20

Team Man City Man Utd Chelsea Tottenham Liverpool Arsenal Burnley Watford Brighton Huddersfield Newcastle Leicester Bournemouth Southampton Stoke Everton West Brom West Ham Swansea Crystal Palace

P 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12

GD PTS 33 34 21 26 13 25 11 23 7 22 6 22 3 22 -2 18 0 16 -9 15 -3 14 -2 13 -3 13 -5 13 -9 13 -12 12 -9 10 -14 9 -8 8 -18 5

thursday 30th november 2017 PREMIER LEAGUE Arsenal v Huddersfield Town 02:45 AFC Bournemouth v Burnley 02:45 Chelsea v Swansea City 02:45 Everton v West Ham United 03:00

fantasy premier league - awol challenge

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20

Team Pony & Trap Carthorses Are Go RentMyThaiVilla Colonial AC Clacton Mr. Cha Aming Lost Cafe HH Jambos Dannyxcollinz FC ROCA Frankies 11 Wanderlust United JR Brutd S.C AWOL Wanderers Hua hin jambos Atletico Pathetico Pink Panther AFC Shortimeagain Portsmoth city The Dada Donkeys

GW 78 69 54 61 89 69 71 45 56 60 57 41 47 43 66 46 48 54 63 48

TOT 728 670 666 657 653 652 632 616 609 602 579 578 567 558 534 523 495 480 474 469

Manchester City v Southampton 03:00 Stoke City v Liverpool 03:00 SCOTTISH PREMIERSHIP Motherwell v Celtic 02:45 Rangers v Aberdeen 02:45

Featured Game

sunday 26th november 2017 PREMIER LEAGUE Liverpool v Chelsea 00:30 Both of these teams need to put a good run of wins together if they are to have any chance of challenging Manchester City, and a win here would be a big fillip for either of them. Both are in a decent run of form now, so this should be a very interesting game, and we suspect lots of goals. Overall we think Chelsea have the edge but Liverpool have a couple of exceptional individuals who can turn the game in an instant, and we think that because of that it will be a home win.

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back page

arsene licker Robert Mugabe seeks advice from Arsene Wenger on how to cling to power

••

uK Robert Mugabe has sought the wise counsel of Arsene Wenger as he tries desperately to hold onto power in Zimbabwe. The despotic, unpopular and moribund leader received an email from Mr Mugabe late yesterday evening. “Nobody hangs in there quite like Arsene,” said a spokesperson for Mr Mugabe. “If anybody can help Robert Mugabe in desperately holding on despite all evidence and pressure to suggest he should do otherwise, it’s Arsene Wenger.” The spokesman went on, “Piers Morgan is another good example, but Robert Mugabe doesn’t want to be associated with somebody like that.” Arsenal fan, Simon Williams, said, “I absolutely think Arsene Wenger should travel to Zimbabwe. “It will give us a chance to change the

Above: The most despised, hated and reviled man in the world today, and Robert Mugabe locks on the Emirates Stadium and get someone else to take over. “I’m not saying it will be a coup, we’re simply going to take over while our leader is distracted, which is very different from a coup, as I understand from recent events. “I don’t think we’ll need to use force; we’re not Sunderland fans you know.”

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Arsene Wenger was unavailable for comment, but unsurprisingly media whore and celebrity Arsenal fan Piers Morgan stuck his oar in by claiming that by accepting the email from Mugabe, Wenger was totally unfit for the job as Arsenal manager, while repeatedly denying that he had been sacked by his former US employers, CNN.

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