aXismag.com | august 2016 | p3 ORLANDO
@AXISORLANDO
101 Things: Motion City Soundtrack
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Motion City Soundtrack stands still at House of Blues for the moment.
101 Things: UCF Glow Manhunt
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Late Knights is hosting a Glow in the Dark Manhunt on Memory Mall... Go Neon!
UCF TAILGATE NATION: THE GEAR
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Your guide to tailgating, UCF Football preview and more to prep you for the return of the Black & Gold!
BURNSY’S ANNUAL PREVIEW
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OK, so the team is fairly new, but the battle for the BIG 12 has been raging!
SCENE: 10th Crazy ‘80s Pub Crawl
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The best part about the ‘80s is it keeps getting older and the pub crawlers stay just as crazy.
SCENE: Great Orlando Craft Beerfest
26 06 @AXISMAGAZINE
@AXISMAGAZINE
PUBLISHERS: Sean Perry • Rick Wheeler ADVERTISING INQUIRIES: rhweeler@axismag.com • 407.230.1365 EDITORIAL INQUIRIES: sperry@axismag.com COVER IMAGES: MikeAnthonyPhoto.com • UCF Sports Models: Donna Raubeson • Haley Ingram COVER & ART DIRECTION: Evan Comtois CONTRIBUTING COLUMNIST: Ashley Burns • @MayorBurnsy PUBLISHED BY: Mocomm, Inc. dba aXis Magazine P.O. Box 2391 Orlando, Fl 32802 MAGAZINE: www.aXisMag.com @aXisMagazine @aXisOrlando EVENTS: www.aXisproevents.org ©1994-2016 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED Feel free to reproduce without prior written consent from Mocomm Inc, Orlando, Florida since this is the internet generation.
15 @AXISORLANDO
Join nearly a thousand craft brew connoisseurs as they journey through 17 great breweries in Downtown Otown!
@AXISMAGAZINE
RAISE HECK.
This is Henry’s® Hard Ginger Ale. An easy-to-drink adult beverage that packs a delicious little punch. It’s hard, but not too hard, because you have stuff to do tomorrow.
LIVE HARD-ISH.
TM
©2016 BLITZ-WEINHARD BREWING CO., MILWAUKEE, WI * FLAVORED MALT BEVERAGE
Things to do
NOISE • VISUALS • BALLS • TIX
in otown to
ALTER YOUR PERSPECTIVE aXismag.com | august 2016 | p5 09 Battle For Backwoods Music Festival at Create
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VENUE 578 578 N Orange Ave Venue578.com Sunday, Aug 11• 10pm / Prices vary
10 Jacob Whitesides
THE SOCIAL 54 N. Orange Avenue, Orlando Thesocial.org Thursday, Aug 11 • 7pm / Prices vary
11 Bayside
HARD ROCK 6050 Universal Blvd., Orlando 407.351.5483 Friday, Aug 12 • 7:30 pm / Prices vary
12 Pete’s Dragon
Debuts Friday, Aug 12 A reimagining of Disney’s cherished family film, “Pete’s Dragon” is the adventure of an orphaned boy named Pete and his best friend Elliott, who just so happens to be a dragon.
BAYSIDE @ HARD ROCK • FRIDAY, AUG 12 • 7:30 PM 01 Everlost US “Live and Let Go” CD Release show w/ Call to Start, Pathos, AstroMaps,Tarek Kasmi OLDE 64 64 N. Orange Avenue, Orlando Thesocial.org Saturday, Aug 6 • 8pm / Prices vary
02 Daddy Yankee VS. Don Omar AMWAY CENTER 400 W. Church St. #200, Orlando Amwaycenter.com Sunday, Aug 7 • 8pm / Prices vary
03 Echo Wing Productions Presents: An Acoustic evening w/ Jimmy Gnecco & Members of OURS
THE SOCIAL 54 N. Orange Avenue, Orlando Thesocial.org Monday, Aug 8 • 7pm / Prices vary
07 Geek Trivia Tuesdays
THE GEEK EASY 114 S. Semoran Blvd. Suite 6., Winter Park Mygeekeasy.com Tuesday’s• 6-9 p.m./ Prices vary Hosted by Phil Whigham of AwesomeLab Industries every Tuesday at The Geek Easy.You and your friends can team up to prove your geeky wisdom and win your bar tab along with other prizes each week.Registration starts at 6:45 and seating is limited.
08 Doc Scott/Circle K & Collaborator THE SOCIAL 54 N. Orange Avenue, Orlando Thesocial.org Wednesday, Aug 10 • 10pm / Prices vary
13 The Molly Ringwalds
HOUSE OF BLUES 1490 Buena Vista Dr., Lake Buena Vista 407.934.2583 Friday, Aug 12• 7:30 p.m. / Prices vary
14 Pokemon GO! Theme Night
THE CLOAK & BLASTER 875 Woodbury Rd. Ste 108, Orlando Cloakandblaster.com Friday-Sat, Aug 12-13• 4 p.m.-2 a.m.. / Prices vary Calling all Pokémon trainers! Join us for an epic Pokémon theme night. BATTLE! Claim the gym for your team! Current Gym Leaders receive 10% off their total tab. Dress up in costume! Themed food and drink specials! Pokémon TV and more!Ages 18+ after 8 p.m.
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04 Duo Sole
THE PLAZA LIVE 425 N. Bumby Ave., Orlando Plazaliveorlando.com Monday, Aug 8• 7pm / Prices vary
05 Bhavachakra w/Burn To Learn, 2Real, Deformed OLDE 64 64 N. Orange Avenue, Orlando Thesocial.org Monday, Aug 8 • 10pm / Prices vary
06 TLG 2016 Tour ft. 5QUAD, Loren Gray, DuhltzMark HOUSE OF BLUES 1490 Buena Vista Dr., Lake Buena Vista 407.934.2583 Tuesday, Aug 8• 6:30 p.m. / Prices vary
THE MOLLY RINGWALDS @ HOUSE OF BLUES • FRIDAY, AUG 12 • 7:30 PM
Things to do
in otown to
CONCERTS • MOVIES • SPORTS • TIX
ROCK YOUR SOCKS OFF
p6 | august 2016 | aXismag.com
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19 Hourglass 4th Anniversary Celebration
THE HOURGLASS BREWERY 480 S. Ronal Reagan Blvd., Longwood Thehourglassbrewery.com Saturday, Aug 13• 11 A.M.-11:59 p.m / Prices vary Join us as we celebrate another great year of Hourglass Brewing! For the anniversary, we will have EVERY tap filled with Hour beer! We’ll also have a limited supply of EVERY bottle release we’ve ever released in the history of Hourglass!
20 Motion City Soundtrack: So Long, Farewell Tour ft. A Great Big Pile of Leaves, Rozewell Kid HOUSE OF BLUES 1490 Buena Vista Dr., Lake Buena Vista 407.934.2583 Saturday, Aug 13• 7 p.m. / Prices vary
21 Arms CD Release Show w/ Gillian Carter, Makari, Snowbirds, and Freakazoid! THE SOCIAL 54 N. Orange Avenue, Orlando Thesocial.org Saturday, Aug 13 • 8pm / Prices vary
22 Govinda, The Galactic Effect, and Samsung Rising at Sustain SAUSAGE PARTY • COMEDY • FRI, AUG 12
15 Hey Mercedes w/ Microwaves and Pohgoh THE SOCIAL 54 N. Orange Avenue, Orlando Thesocial.org Friday, Aug 12 • 8pm / Prices vary
16 Sausage Party
ANIMATION, COMEDY Friday, Aug 12 A misplaced sausage and his savory friends embark on an existential adventure through the aisles of a massive supermarket in this raunchy animated comedy from Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg. As the store’s annual 4th of July sale draws near, the perishable pals must return to their rightful places on the shelves before the customers come flooding in to fill their carts.
VENUE 578 578 N Orange Ave Venue578.com Sunday, Aug 14• 8pm / Prices vary
23 Sorority Recruitment for Panhellenic
UCF-GREEK PARK 4322 Greek Park Dr., Orlando events.ucf.edu Sunday, Aug 14• 6:30pm / Prices vary Throughout the week, you will have the chance to visit all 12 Sorority chapters that UCF has to offer in the Panhellenic Council.The week will consist of a mutual selection process where you will hopefully be able to find your home like we did!
19 HOURGLASS 4TH ANNIVERSARY CELEBRATION
24 Ultimate Storytime w/ Thomas Sanders Presented by Playlist Live THE SOCIAL 54 N. Orange Avenue, Orlando Thesocial.org Sunday, Aug 14 • 8pm / Prices vary
25 Jazzy Group US Presents Day6 First Fan Meeting in USA 2016 HOUSE OF BLUES 1490 Buena Vista Dr., Lake Buena Vista 407.934.2583 Sunday, Aug 14• 6 p.m. / Prices vary
26 1 Year Anniversary of Shows Every Monday/ Henrietta Tour Homecoming w/ Eastern Medicine, A Wolf in The City, and Solaseria OLDE 64 64 N. Orange Avenue, Orlando Thesocial.org Monday, Aug 15 • 8pm / Prices vary
17 War on Wall St. Summer 2016
WALL ST. PLAZA Wall St., Orlando Wallstplaza.net Saturday, Aug 13• 12p.m. / Prices vary The War on Wall St. is back for another day of crossfit mayhem on Wall Street Plaza. If you like lifting things, throwing things, carrying things, etc… then this event is the one you want to attend.Or just relax with a drink and cheer on the athletes! The event is FREE for spectators and we’ll have drink specials, stage entertainment, and games for the public all day! Spectators are welcome and we will be having a stage, DJ and other entertainment throughout the day! Activities include: Beer and Burpees, Guns and Buns contest: Girls – best Guns…and Guys – best buns, Squats and shots. As well as over-sized Beer Pong and more!
18 Outcry Tour ft. Hillsong Worship, Kari Jobe, Rend Collective and more CFE ARENA 12777 Gemini Blvd. N., Orlando Cfearena.com Saturday, Aug 13• 6pm / Prices vary
20 MOTION CITY SOUNDTRACK: SO LONG, FAREWELL TOUR @ HOB • SATURDAY, AUG 13 • 7 PM
NOISE • VISUALS • BALLS • TIX
Things to do
in otown to MELT YOUR FACE
aXismag.com | august 2016 | p9
32 ACCEPTANCE W/ CARROLLHOOD @ THE BEACHAM • FRIDAY, AUG 19 • 6:30 PM 27 Butch Walker: Stay Gold w/The Wind and The Wave, Suzanne Santos THE SOCIAL 54 N. Orange Avenue, Orlando Thesocial.org Wednesday, Aug 17 • 7pm / Prices vary
28 Promised Land Productions Presents: Barely Alive w/ Crowell, Krativ, Codddubz, Sora THE SOCIAL 54 N. Orange Avenue, Orlando Thesocial.org Thursday, Aug 18 • 9pm / Prices vary
29 Mint Condition at The Geek Easy
THE GEEK EASY 114 S. Semoran Blvd. Suite 6., Winter Park Mygeekeasy.com Thursdays• 6-10:30 p.m./ Prices vary The most spaced out evening at The Geek Easy lounge. Chillstep, hot food, and colder drinks….what more could you want to ease off the weary from the work week?Sputnik Yuri will be spinning some of his coldest collection for all our fellow travelers to relax to.
30 Man in the Mirror The Ultimate Michael Jackson Tribute Band HOUSE OF BLUES 1490 Buena Vista Dr., Lake Buena Vista 407.934.2583 Friday, Aug 19• 7 p.m. / Prices vary
31 Riot Reunion w/ Henry Fong and Milo & Otis at Create VENUE 578 578 N Orange Ave Venue578.com Thursday, Aug 18• 10pm / Prices vary
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32 Acceptance w/ Carrollhood THE BEACHAM 46 N. Orange Avenue, Orlando Thebeacham.com Friday, Aug 19 • 6:30 pm / Prices vary
33 The Beat Ministry Presents: The Mixtape Release Party w/ Tony Touch & Friends
friends Obie, Lil Shawn and Estee from the Power 95.3 morning show! So let your boss know or just don’t show up to work, because this is one day of drinking you won’t want to miss.
35 Kubo and the Two Strings
ACTION ADVENTURE, ANIMATION, SCIENCE FICTION & FANTASY Friday, Aug 19 Kubo and the Two Strings is an epic action-adventure set in a fantastical Japan from acclaimed animation studio LAIKA. Clever, kindhearted Kubo ekes out a humble living, telling stories to the people of his seaside town including Hosato , Akihiro , and Kameyo . But his relatively quiet existence is shattered when he accidentally summons a spirit from his past which storms down from the heavens to enforce an age-old vendetta. Now on the run, Kubo joins forces with Monkey and Beetle , and sets out on a thrilling quest to save his family and solve the mystery of his fallen father, the greatest samurai warrior the world has ever known.
36 Boney James
THE PLAZA LIVE 425 N. Bumby Ave., Orlando Plazaliveorlando.com Saturday, Aug 20• 8pm / Prices vary
37 The Great American Bacon Race
BILL FREDERICK PARK AT TURKEY LAKE 3401 S. Hiawassee Rd, Orlando Americanbaconrace.com Saturday, Aug 20• 9 a.m. / Prices vary Bacon, Bacon, Bacon!Yes, a tasty bacon themed 5k run/walk in a beautiful park with bacon station along the way.After your run, join us for the Bacon Bash after party with more bacon than you can shake a stick at! Medals and t-shirts for all participants. Additionally for the little ones we also have the kids 1k Bacon Dash.
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THE SOCIAL 54 N. Orange Avenue, Orlando Thesocial.org Friday, Aug 19 • 9pm / Prices vary
34 9th Annual City Skip Day
FRIDAY, AUG 19
WALL ST. PLAZA Wall St., Orlando Wallstplaza.net Friday, Aug 19• 12p.m. / Prices vary City Skip Day is coming up soon! Start putting in your requests off work for Friday, August 19th!That’s right! The 9th annual City Skip Day is Downtown Orlando’s excuse to ditch work on a Friday and start the weekend early with FREE Yuengling until the kegs run dry! We will also have games and competitions on the street hosted by your
SATURDAY, AUG 20 • 9 AM
Things to do
in otown to
CONCERTS • MOVIES • SPORTS • TIX
KEEP THE BUZZ GOING
p10 | august 2016 | aXismag.com
38 BRAGGING RIGHTS PUB CRAWL • DOWNTOWN ORLANDO • SATURDAY, AUG 20 • 8PM 38 Bragging Rights Pub Crawl
DOWNTOWN ORLANDO Orlandopubcrawl.com Saturday, Aug 20• 8pm / Prices vary We know that Gators and Seminoles battle every year to win the Sunshine state. Now it’s time to find out which fans are the biggest in Orlando, and who will win this battle of Good vs. Evil. We know almost everyone prefers one of the 2 schools and even if you don’t, just pick a side. This will be a first time an OPC crawl that will have an event that includes 2 separate pub crawls. One will be for Seminole fans and one will be for Gator fans. Both crawls will end at Wall St Plaza to determine who really has bragging rights to being the most loyal fans . Bars along the way will include fight songs and other Fan favorite songs plus FSU vs UF classic games on the TVs. Grab all of favorite cheering gear and let’s crawl.
39 Roman vs Fousey Tour HARD ROCK 6050 Universal Blvd., Orlando 407.351.5483 Saturday, Aug 20 • 8 pm / Prices vary
40 VIP EVENTKnights & Superheroes Only
42 Big 10-4 10 Year Anniversary
UCF BOOKSTORE- BARNES & NOBLE 101 John T. Washington Center Breezeway., Orlando Events.ucf.edu Saturday, Aug 20• 4 p.m.-7pm / Prices vary Calling all Knights and Superheroes: Launch your college career off right by getting all your textbooks and school supplies before the first day of classes. With extended hours at the UCF Bookstore you will have the power to dash in for colossal savings on new, used, digital, and rental textbooks before they fly off the shelves. Use your superhuman intelligence to know you are getting the value price on textbooks with our price match policy. Show off your keen sense of style with the latest UCF clothing and accessories, and enjoy coupons, prizes, giveaways, photo ops, a bounce house and more!
THE SOCIAL 54 N. Orange Avenue • Thesocial.org Saturday, Aug 20 • 8pm / Prices vary
41 Jowell y Randy
VENUE 578 578 N Orange Ave Venue578.com Saturday, Aug 20• 8pm / Prices vary
42 BIG10-4 ANNIVERSARY @ THE SOCIAL
43 UCF Soccer Scrimmage VS Florida Southern UCF TRACK & SOCCER COMPLEX 4275 E. Plaza Drive., Orlando Events.ucf.edu Sunday, Aug 21• 6-8pm / Prices vary
44 Glow in the Dark Manhunt
UCF-MEMORY MALL Events.ucf.edu Sunday, Aug 21• 7 p.m.-9 p.m.. / Prices vary Any and all students invited to Memory Mall to play a game of manhunt in the dark! Come have fun before the semester begins!
45 Opening Knight
39 ROMAN VS FOUSEY TOUR @ HARD ROCK • SATURDAY, AUG 20 • 8 PM
UCF-STUDENT UNION PATIO Events.ucf.edu Sunday, Aug 21• 5/ Prices vary Opening Knight is hosted by the Knights of the Round Table (KoRT) at the beginning of each academic year. It’s an opportunity to learn and connect with the hundreds of Registered Student Organizations here at UCF, and SGA will be there! Stop by our booth to say hello, learn more about student government and find out the best ways to get involved! We have lots of opportunities for freshmen and returning Knights alike, so don’t be shy!
p12 | august 2016 | aXismag.com
Things to do in otown to give you goals
46 Local H “As Good As Dead” Tour
CONCERTS • MOVIES • SPORTS • TIX
53 CAB Presents: Natasha Leggero
CFE ARENA 12777 Gemini Blvd. N., Orlando Events.ucf.edu Wednesday, Aug 24• 7 p.m.-11 p.m. / Prices vary Join us for a night of laughs as CAB presents renowned comedian, Natasha Leggero featuring Nate Bargatze. Known for her on-screen appearances like Let’s be Cops and Reno 911, she also appeared as a guest on the Comedy Central Roast of Justin Bieber. Bring your valid Student ID to the CFE Arena for free admission. Doors open at 7:00 pm and the show starts at 8:00 pm!
THE SOCIAL 54 N. Orange Avenue, Orlando Thesocial.org Monday, Aug 22 • 7pm / Prices vary
47 Sustain with Stylust Beats VENUE 578 578 N Orange Ave Venue578.com Sunday, Aug 21• 8pm / Prices vary
48 Burgers and Brats
54 Aussie Pink Floyd Show
WORLD OF BEER-UCF 3402 Technological Ave, Orlando Wob.com Monday, Aug 22 • 3pm-close / Prices vary
HARD ROCK 6050 Universal Blvd., Orlando 407.351.5483 Wednesday, Aug 24 • 8 pm / Prices vary
49 LINK Amazing Race
55 UCF Welcome Expo
UCF-Reflection Pond 4000 Central Florida Blvd., Orlando Events.ucf.edu Monday, Aug 22• 6 p.m.-8pm / Prices vary The LINK Amazing Race provides students the chance to band together in teams of 4-5 to race around UCF on a campus wide scavenger hunt. To complete the Race, students will solve riddles and puzzles, find hidden wonders around campus, and discover beneficial campus resources. Winners in previous years have won exclusive prizes such as Knight Rave VIP passes and UCF gear! Be sure to brush up on your Superhero knowledge... it may be helpful for this year’s race!
50 CAB Presents: Movie Night Captain America: Civil War
CFE ARENA 12777 Gemini Blvd. N., Orlando Events.ucf.edu Tuesday, Aug 23• 8 p.m.-11 p.m. / Prices vary CAB will be screening the latest installment of Marvel films, Captain America: Civil War. Join us as we watch Captain America and Iron Man duke it out on the big screen in the CFE Arena at 8:00pm. Come with your student ID and be ready for popcorn.
51 FELICTY SUMMER MELTDOWN FEST W/ KASSON & MORE
51 FELICTY Summer Melt Down Fest w/ KASSON, False Narrative, LUVLOST, Conflicting Motive THE SOCIAL 54 N. Orange Avenue, Orlando Thesocial.org Tuesday, Aug 23 • 7pm / Prices vary
52 Orlando City SC VS. Toronto FC CAMPING WORLD STADIUM 1610 W. Church St., Orlando www.Campingworldstadium.com Wednesday, Aug 24• 7:30 pm / Prices vary
UCF-STUDENT UNION: PEGASUS BALLROOM 4000 Central Florida Blvd., Orlando Events.ucf.edu Wednesday, Aug 24• 10 a.m.-2p.m. / Prices vary The 2016 UCF Welcome Expo, hosted by First Year Advising & Exploration, is the perfect place to find out what the UCF campus has to offer! Stop by to meet with student organizations, campus offices and departments, and local vendors from the area. Enjoy free food and collect many free giveaways! First-year students are eligible to receive LINK loot points. This event is open to all students, staff, and faculty.
56 Best of Orlando 2016
THE BEACHAM 46 N. Orange Avenue., Orlando Orlandoweekly.com Wednesday, Aug 24• 7 p.m. / Prices vary We celebrate the BEST of the BEST with the biggest throw down of the year, the Best of Orlando Party.This event is invitation-only. Best of Orlando Nominees will receive an invitation in the mail, and there will be a limited amount of tickets available for our most awesome readers to claim on a first come, first serve basis. A code for readers to claim a ticket will be posted on this page no earlier than one week prior to the event.
53 CAB PRESENTS: COMEDY KNIGHT @ CFE ARENA • WEDNESDAY, AUG 24 • 7 PM - 11 PM
@UCF_FOOTBALL @UCFKNIGHTS @UCFNATION
UCF NATION: TAILGATE GUIDE
p14 | august 2016 | aXismag.com
UCF NATION:
TAILGATING NECESSITIES
the ride:
tailgate
the other top 19: DISH Tailgater Satellite Antenna $350 (HD Satellite)
the gear: • UCF Cornhole $125
• UCF Pong Table $85 • UCF Folding Chair with Drink & Gear Pockets $100 • UCF Cart Cooler $65
TAILGATE UPDATES: MEMORY MALL: UCF SGA is working to light up Memory Mall each game to feature live music, food, a cooling zone and giveaways. UCF students and alumni also for the first time will be able to reserve spaces on Memory Mall for their tailgates. Instead of having to show up several hours early to claim a spot, those who make free online reservations will have a guaranteed space waiting for them. “We encourage all fans to visit the SGA tailgating area and enjoy our expanded entertainment and food offerings before they cheer on our Knights to victory,” said SGA president Weston Bayes and president-elect Cait Zona. OPENING DAY: Game day activities will begin at 1 p.m. – three hours earlier than the usual time for weekday games – to accommodate the 6 p.m. kickoff on CBS Sports Network.
the meal:
Coleman® RoadTrip® LXE Propane Grill • $135
UCF FOOTBALL PREVIEW
@UCF_FOOTBALL @UCFKNIGHTS @MAYORBURNSY aXismag.com | august 2016 | p15 photo: UCF Athletics Communications
12 Reasons the Big 12 Should Avoid Words by Ashley Burns @MayorBurnsy
Looking Incredibly Stupid by Inviting UCF
We’re in an unprecedented era of UCF sports. How many universities and colleges can claim to have gone through what UCF has in the last year? The football coach, two seasons removed from a Fiesta Bowl
victory, resigns during what would end up being his second winless season. The men’s basketball coach gets the boot for being as underwhelming as a Mumford and Sons album. And the baseball coach who walked around shouting, “Omaha!” so much that he might as well have been Peyton Manning ran away to Alabama for an assistant gig after routinely failing to lead his team to freaking Omaha. I’m not even sure people are fully aware of how terrible UCF fans have it right now.This is a new level of athletic embarrassment and, again, this comes just two seasons after a Fiesta Bowl win that we’ll never forget (because it’s seriously all we have). But hey, at least we finally have black license plates. (It should be pointed out that I typed the rest of this with my toes after breaking both wrists from intense dismissive wanking over the excitement caused by black license plates.) The big news came last week when Big 12 officials visited the UCF campus for a possible invitation for one of the conference’s open spots.Will they add two schools or four schools? That is the million-dollar question that has yet to be answered at press time, so assuming that the Chicken Littles are right that the Big 12 will add just two schools, I want to offer my 69 cents to those Big 12 officials, because I know they will read this. Here are the 12 totally serious and not at all stupid reasons UCF is the top choice for one of those two spots. 1) Scott Frost is so dreamy, you guys. In all seriousness, I’m getting tired of hearing about what a hunk this dude is. I get it – he’s handsome and has forearms like sequoias. If this guy manages to win right out of the gates, we’re going to have to issue UCF galoshes to fans because the stadium is going to be sploosh-flooded by every female in a 12-mile radius. (That’s not sexist because I am a guy who admits that Scott Frost is handsome.) 2) Looks aside, Scott Frost is young and exciting. This is a mutual bonus, because the Big 12 needs magnetic personalities and UCF needs a shot at winning a championship so he doesn’t skip town when Nebraska’s latest turd-filled sock of a coach fails and Frost’s alma mater poaches him. All of the Chicken Littles think Frost is leaving after one season anyway, so our best bet is this invite, and the Big 12 will benefit because he’s so hunky. 3) Orlando is better than any city of any college being considered. Cincinnati is a dumb place. I don’t know where UConn is, but that town sucks. Orlando is awesome because we have Gatorland. Mother-f*cking albino gators, son. The Big 12 can have one as a pet. 4) We have black license plates now. I know I just made fun of how meaningless that is, but some people really think that is something special, so maybe the Big 12 is into that, too. 5) UCF has other sports that matter, I’m told. Sports like softball and soccer and dog racing and tickle fighting and cockfights. Wanna watch two bums fight over a moldy bagel? O-Town, baby!
6) Shit, do I really have to come up with 12? Okay, how about academics? George O’Leary was really proud of his graduation rate, I think. I honestly can’t remember if that guy was proud of anything. Oh, that reminds me… 7) George O’Leary resigned so you won’t have to worry about people tuning into games and seeing the world’s angriest man standing on the sidelines. Instead, they’ll see Scott Frost, whose piercing blue eyes (or green, maybe) can impregnate a woman from 100-yards away. 8) Orlando has a lot of nice areas, including Disney, Lake Eola, Leu Gardens, and the other cities like Winter Park and Lake Mary that we pretend are Orlando anyway. The Big 12 can take stock footage of those areas and pretend it is UCF. Hell, ESPN has acted like Lake Eola is the UCF campus for the last 10 years. 9) Orlando also has really good food now, and not just shitty chain restaurants anymore. The UCF student union used to have a place called Wackadoo’s that had the best buffalo chicken sandwich on Earth, but the school sold out to freaking Chili’s because everything has a price tag, but there are still plenty of awesome restaurants in the surrounding areas to take your minds off how soulless UCF’s administration is. 10) Knightro is a pretty cool mascot. He sort of looks like a human having doggy style sex with a Dodge Ram, and that’s a fun fact that I will allow the Big 12 to use in promotional material. 11) The UCF student population at football games is the drunkest in the nation. I mean that. If vomiting was a college sport, UCF students would rank No. 1 in the preseason poll annually. This sounds gross, but I am proud of this. 12) Finally, perhaps the most important reason of all, UCF deserves to be in the Big 12. If the Big 12 officials disagree, I will mail them my son’s soiled diapers for the next 21 years. Yes, my son will be wearing diapers when he’s 21. Why? Because he’s going to be pukin’ it up UCF, that’s why.
“Scott Frost is so dreamy, you guys.
In all seriousness, I’m getting tired of hearing about what a hunk this dude is. I get it – he’s handsome and has forearms like sequoias.”
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AMENITIES • 24-Hour Fitness Center • Billiards, Ping Pong • Tennis, Basketball, Volleyball • Wi-Fi in Clubhouse & Pool • Refreshing Pool & Pavilion • UCF Shuttle Buses • Awesome Resident Events
Things to do
NOISE • VISUALS • BALLS • TIX
in otown to MELT YOUR FACE
aXismag.com | august 2016 | p19
58 CAB PRESENTS: NEW POLITICS AND MAX FOR PEGASUS PALOOZA @ CFE ARENA • THURSDAY, AUG 25 • 8 PM 57 Knightly Feud
UCF STUDENT UNION- CEDAR KEY MEETING ROOM 223 4000 Central Florida Blvd., Orlando Events.ucf.edu Wednesday, Aug 24• 2 p.m.-3 p.m. / Prices vary Join the Office of Student Rights and Responsibilities for a game of Knightly Feud! Survey says students will engage in this fast-paced competition to answer questions about consent, red flags in relationships, and bystander intervention. Players will be equipped with reporting options and resources to do your part in making our campus a safer place! The team of Knights with the top answers will win!
60 Welcome Back Garden Bash
UCF-ARBORETUM 4000 Central Florida Blvd., Orlando Events.ucf.edu Thursday, Aug 25• 5- 8 p.m. / Prices vary The UCF community is invited to the Arboretum to learn more about this campus resource, the services it provides, and how each of us can be a hero in our community.The UCF Arboretum will lead an interactive tour of the Arboretum during the event where students will learn ways they can increase their botany & environmental powers. After the tour, guests can join them for food and socializing at the Nature Pavilion (UCF Arboretum headquarters).
61 Rosen Life- #ThrowbackThursday
58 CAB Presents: New Politics and MAX for Pegasus Palooza
CFE ARENA 12777 Gemini Blvd. N Orlando Cfearena.com Thursday, Aug 25• 8 p.m.. / Prices vary CAB presents New Politics and MAX in the first concert of the school year! Doors open at 7PM with the show beginning at 8PM. It’ll be a Knight to remember!Admission is free for students with valid UCF ID. ID MUST be present for admission to the event. No physical ticket needed.
59 Atlanta Falcons VS Miami Dolphins NFL Preseason CAMPING WORLD STADIUM 1610 W. Church St., Orlando www.Campingworldstadium.comaaa Thursday, Aug 25• Time:TBD / Prices vary
ROSEN COLLEGE OF HOSPITALITY MANAGEMENT: CFHLA STUDENT LOUNGE RM 202 9907 Universal Blvd., Orlando Events.ucf.edu Thursday, Aug 25• 12 p.m.-2 p.m.. / Prices vary Welcoming students back with a blast from the past with 90’s and 00’s pop culture trivia, throwback snacks, and games!
62 Lil Yachty
THE SOCIAL 54 N. Orange Avenue, Orlando Thesocial.org Thursday, Aug 25 • 7pm / Prices vary
63 Taste of UCF
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UCF STUDENT UNION- PEGASUS BALLROOM 4000 Central Florida Blvd., Orlando Events.ucf.edu Thursday, Aug 25• 11 a.m.-1 p.m. / Prices vary Taste of UCF is a celebration of culture, cuisine, and entertainment from over 20 countries representing the diverse backgrounds of the student body.The event is free to the public
65 Chi Alpha Video Scavenger Hunt
UCF-STUDENT UNION PATIO 4000 Central Florida Blvd., Orlando Events.ucf.edu Friday, Aug 26• 5- 6:30 p.m. / Prices vary Video Scavenger hunt will be a fun way for new students to learn where things are on the campus. Chi Alpha will get into groups and have a contest to see which group can find all the places first and video tape the group in specific locations.
66 Knight Rave
CFE ARENA 12777 Gemini Blvd. N., Orlando Events.ucf.edu Friday, Aug 26• 8-11pm / Prices vary As Palooza’s official dance party, Knight Rave is the ultimate opportunity to have fun during the first week of school. Held in the CFE Arena, live DJs spin a variety of sick beats featuring EDM, Dubstep, and House music, and glow-sticks and black lights abound. (For UCF students only- must have valid UCF ID to attend! Personal items are prohibited at this event. Prohibited items are any item larger than 4.5” x 6.5” including, but not limited to: large purses, coolers, backpacks, fanny packs, cinch bags, computer bags and camera bags, and/or any bag larger than the permissible size stated.)
67 Pandora’s Box- The Ultimate Aerosmith Tribute HOUSE OF BLUES 1490 Buena Vista Dr., Lake Buena Vista 407.934.2583 Friday, Aug 26• 8 p.m. / Prices vary
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64 O.B.Y Entertainment & Zammy Promotions Presents: LA SECTA ALL STAR w/ special guest Sol De Menta
FALCONS VS DOLPHINS NFL PRESEASON
THE BEACHAM 46 N. Orange Avenue, Orlando Thebeacham.com Thursday, Aug 25 • 9 pm / Prices vary
LIL YACHTY @ THE SOCIAL
Things to do
in otown to
CONCERTS • MOVIES • SPORTS • TIX
SNAP OBSESSIVELY
p20 | august 2016 | aXismag.com
70 Orlando Pride vs Washington Spirit
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CAMPING WORLD STADIUM 1610 W. Church St., Orlando www.Campingworldstadium.com Friday, Aug 26• 7:30 pm / Prices vary
71 Art After Dark
CITYARTS FACTORY Orlandoslice.com/group/cityartsfactory 29 S. Orange Ave., Orlando Friday, Aug 26 • 7-10pm / Prices vary Join the Downtown Arts District for an exclusive young professional’s art event. Meet emerging artists and collectors while enjoying interactive art experiences in a creative atmosphere featuring music by DJ Nigel, photo opportunities and a silent auction.Within the six contemporary galleries, complimentary craft cocktails and gourmet lite bites will be served. Guests will receive a special gift and cocktail voucher for the after party hosted at Kasa Restaurant & Bar.
69 DON’T BREATHE • HORROR • FRIDAY, AUG 26
68 Classic Albums Live: Bruce Springsteen “Born In The USA”
72 WJRR Presents ‘Under The Covers’ ft. Holy White Hounds
THE SOCIAL 54 N. Orange Avenue, Orlando Thesocial.org Friday, Aug 26 • 8pm / Prices vary
73 Zupp’s Downtown Orlando Scavenger Hunt
HARD ROCK 6050 Universal Blvd., Orlando 407.351.5483 Friday, Aug 26 • 8 pm / Prices vary
DOWNTOWN ORLANDO • FERG’S DEPOT Kickoff at Ferg’s Depot • 78 W Church St Zuppapp.com Sat, August 27th • 5pm / Prices vary $15-$75
69 Don’t Breathe
HORROR, MYSTERY/SUSPENSE Friday, Aug 26 A group of friends break into the house of a wealthy blind man, thinking they’ll get away with the perfect heist.They’re wrong.
74 The Dolan Twins
THE BEACHAM 46 N. Orange Avenue, Orlando Thebeacham.com Friday, Aug 26 • 5 pm / Prices vary
75 Mechanic: Resurrection
ACTION/ADVENTURE, MYSTERY/SUSPENSE Friday, Aug 26 Arthur Bishop [Jason Statham] returns as the Mechanic in the sequel to the 2011 action thriller.When the deceitful actions of a cunning but beautiful woman [Jessica Alba] force him to return to the life he left behind, Bishop’s life is once again in danger as he has to complete an impossible list of assassinations of the most dangerous men in the world.
76 Margarita Fest 7
WALL ST. PLAZA Wall St.., Orlando Wallstplaza.net Saturday, Aug 27• 5-8 p.m. / Prices vary Enjoy 3hrs of unlimited Margarita sampling from 5-8pm of over 20 different kinds of margaritas and tequila drinks at the biggest Margarita Party of the year. Plus live Reggae and Rock music from 506 Crew & Zander!Upgrade to the Tequila Terrace ticket and for just $15 more and you will get into Margarita 5 plus access to the air-conditioned Monkey Bar – package includes complimentary Coronita beers and select Tequila drinks from 5-8pm. But there is a limited number of tickets for this offer, so get them now.
ORLANDO PRIDE VS WASHINGTON SPIRIT • AUG 26
78 Late Knights
UCF-MEMORY MALL 4000 Central Florida Blvd., Orlando Events.ucf.edu Saturday, Aug 27-28• 10 a.m- 1 a.m. / Prices vary End the week of Pegasus Palooza 2016 by coming out to Memory Mall from 10pm to 1am for some Live Music, games, surprises, and more!
79 Dru Hill & Lyfe Jennings HOUSE OF BLUES 1490 Buena Vista Dr., Lake Buena Vista 407.934.2583 Saturday, Aug 27• 7 p.m. / Prices vary
80 Chillin’ and Grillin’
UCF-MEMORY MALL 4000 Central Florida Blvd., Orlando Events.ucf.edu Saturday, Aug 27• 2-5:30 p.m. / Prices vary UCF’s Greek Community wants to welcome all incoming knights to the best four years of their lives! This event will have live music, free food catered by Burger U, and fun games and activities for everyone to enjoy. The Greek Community looks forward to hosting this UCF welcome event for all knights!
81 Big Bang Bazaar-Indie Art, Craft & Vintage Bazaar
BIG BANG BAZAAR 4603 W. Colonial Drive., Orlando Bigbangbazaar.net Saturday, Aug 27• 11 a.m.-6 p.m.. / Prices vary Big Bang Bazaar will feature a curated selection of over 200 local Indie artists and crafters, along with a free photo booth, Orlando Psycho City Derby Girls, Orlando Facial Hair Club and movies playing all day! Shoppers will find a wide variety of goods, all handmade by local artisans! Products such as clothing, accessories, jewelry, original art, art prints, housewares and much more will be available for purchase!
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77 WJRR Presents ‘ Under The Covers’ ft. Red Not Chili Peppers (Red Hot Chili Peppers Tribute Band)
75 MECHANIC: RESURRECTION • FRIDAY, AUG 26
THE SOCIAL 54 N. Orange Avenue, Orlando Thesocial.org Saturday, Aug 27 • 8 pm / Prices vary
UCF-MEMORY MALL • AUG 27-28 • 10AM - 1AM
Things to do
in otown to
CONCERTS • MOVIES • SPORTS • TIX
KEEP THE BUZZ GOING
p22 | august 2016 | aXismag.com
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88 John Moreland
THE SOCIAL 54 N. Orange Avenue, Orlando Thesocial.org Friday, Sep. 2 • 8 pm / Prices vary
89 UCF Knights VS South Carolina State Bulldogs BRIGHT HOUSE NETWORKS STADIUM 4465 Knights Victory Way, Orlando Ucfknights.com Saturday, Sep. 3• 7:30pm / Prices vary
ANTHONY GREEN W/ MAT KEREKES @ THE SOCIAL
82 Orlando City SC vs New York City FC
90 RumoursFleetwood Mac Tribute
FLUME FT. EPROM, CHARLES MURDOCH @ HOB
HOUSE OF BLUES 1490 Buena Vista Dr., Lake Buena Vista 407.934.2583
CAMPING WORLD STADIUM 1610 W. Church St., Orlando www.Campingworldstadium.com Sunday, Aug 28• 7 pm / Prices vary
96 Maroon 5
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AMWAY CENTER 400 W. Church St. #200, Orlando Amwaycenter.com Friday, Aug 8 • 7:30 pm / Prices vary
97 Demon
83 Emilio Lovera
ART HOUSE, INTERNATIONAL, MYSTERY/SUSPENSE Friday, Sep. 9 A day after discovering human remains in the backyard of their new home, a man begins experiencing strange things which come to a head on his wedding night.
HOUSE OF BLUES 1490 Buena Vista Dr., Lake Buena Vista 407.934.2583 Sunday, Aug 28• 7 p.m. / Prices vary
84 Sustain with Dessert Dwellers VENUE 578 578 N Orange Ave Venue578.com Tuesday, Aug 30• 8pm / Prices vary
K-92.3 ALL STAR JAM FT. BRETT ELDREDGE & MORE
85 Goo Goo Dolls w/ special guests Collective Soul and Tribe Society HARD ROCK 6050 Universal Blvd., Orlando 407.351.5483 Tuesday, Aug 30• 7:30 pm / Prices vary
Sunday, Sep. 4• 8 p.m. / Prices vary
91 Life in Color “World’s Largest Paint Party” CENTRAL FLORIDA FAIR GROUNDS 4603 W. Colonial Drive, Orlando Lifeincolor.com Sunday, Sep. 4• 7 p.m./ Prices vary
86 K-92.3 All Star Jam ft. Brett Eldredge, Brandy Clark and more!
92 Florida State VS Ole Miss Camping World Kickoff
87 BROODS w/ Jarryd James
93 Baroness w/ Palbearer
CAMPING WORLD STADIUM 1610 W. Church St., Orlando www.Campingworldstadium.com Monday, Sep. 5• 8 pm / Prices vary
HARD ROCK 6050 Universal Blvd., Orlando 407.351.5483 Wednesday, Aug 31• 8 pm / Prices vary
THE BEACHAM 46 N. Orange Avenue, Orlando Thebeacham.com Thursday, Sep. 1 • 8 pm / Prices vary
THE BEACHAM 46 N. Orange Avenue, Orlando Thebeacham.com Tuesday, Sep, 6 • 7 pm / Prices vary
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98 Savi Fernandez Band w/ Resinated and Tunnell vision
THE SOCIAL 54 N. Orange Avenue, Orlando Thesocial.org Saturday, Sep.10 • 8 pm / Prices vary
99 Local Brews Local Grooves HOUSE OF BLUES 1490 Buena Vista Dr., Lake Buena Vista 407.934.2583 Saturday, Sep. 10• 4 p.m. / Prices vary
100 Mike Delamont presents God is a Scottish Drag Queen THE PLAZA LIVE 425 N. Bumby Ave., Orlando Plazaliveorlando.com Saturday, Sep. 10• 8pm / Prices vary
101 Orlando Pride VS Sky Blue FC CAMPING WORLD STADIUM 1610 W. Church St., Orlando www.Campingworldstadium.com Saturday, Sep. 10 • 7:30 pm / Prices vary
94 Anthony Green w/ Mat Kerekes and Secret Space
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THE SOCIAL 54 N. Orange Avenue, Orlando Thesocial.org Thursday, Sep.8 • 7:30 pm / Prices vary
95 Flume ft. Eprom, Charles Murdoch GOO GOO DOLLS W/ COLLECTIVE SOUL & TRIBE SOCIETY
HOUSE OF BLUES 1490 Buena Vista Dr., Lake Buena Vista 407.934.2583 Thursday, Sep. 8• 7 p.m. / Prices vary
SATURDAY, SEP. 10 • 4 PM
@ORLANDOPUBCRAWL @WALLSTPLAZA more pix aXismag.com
10th Annual CRAZY ‘80s Pub Crawl
p24 | august 2016 | aXismag.com SOUNDCHECK: LOCAL LOCAL NOISE NOISE SOUNDCHECK:
photos courtesy of MikeAnthonyPhoto.com
ORLANDO
@GOCBF @aXisOrlando more pix aXismag.com
Great Orlando Craft Beer Festival
p26 | august 2016 | aXismag.com SOUNDCHECK: LOCAL LOCAL NOISE NOISE SOUNDCHECK:
photos courtesy of Kevin Malcom