aXis January 2014 by aXis Orlando

H o o r ay R e s p o n s i b l e D r i n k i n g .

23745-235823 RED STRIPE Lager. ÂŠ2008 Desnoes & Geddes. Imported by DIAGEO - Guinness USA, Norwalk, CT.

aXismag.com • January 2014

ORLANDO’S MONTHLY ENTERTAINMENT & LIFESTYLE MAGAZINE Entertaining Central Florida Since 1995

MAGAZINE & PROMOTIONS • AXISMAG.COM

VOLUME 19 • ISSUE 01 Since 1995 PUBLISHERS:

MAGAZINE & PROMOTIONS Sean Perry• AXISMAG.COM

Rick Wheeler

ADVERTISING INQUIRIES: rwheeler@axismag.com 407.230.1365

The Resources

18 YEARS OF ISSUES!

Ashley Burns

COVER:

Photography: www.MIKEANTHONYPHOTO.com

PROMOTIONS:

Matt Verduin • Jimi Killgallon • Dale Black Pancho Navarrette • Chad Landry

PUBLISHED BY:

No part of aXis Magazine may be reproduced in any form by any means without prior written consent from Mocomm Inc, Orlando Florida, or if you bring us a case of Miller Lite.

VISIT US ON THE WEB AT

www.axismag.com EVENTS: www.floridamusicfestival.com

www.aXismag.com

The Words

50 WAYS TO LEAVE YOUR SOFA

EDITORIAL INQUIRIES:

COLUMNISTS:

The Movies

editorial@axismag.com Colleen Pitrone

The Music

CONTENTS

MAGAZINE & PROMOTIONS • AXISMAG.COM

MANAGING EDITOR:

The Culture

21 23 27

Time to get off that couch and drop some lbs while getting your butt cultured. The tours, art fests and B-Ball are in full swing.

Check out some of the famous and infamous covers that helped to define the town party people call Orlando!

MAGAZINE & PROMOTIONS • AXISMAG.COM Published and Produced by Proud Alumni and Students of the University of Central Florida

MAGAZINE & PROMOTIONS • AXISMAG.COM

Andrew Spear gives the walls wings!

BURNSY BATTLES BACK BORTLES TEARS Burnsy sends off UCF living legend Blake Bortles with a bittersweet goodbye and a few audibles.

BREWS FOR REDUCING THE BELT

Some of your favorite flavors can also be nice and light on the beer belly.

CORONA’S HOTTEST BARTENDER

Introducing Corona’s finest... Taylor!

Meet Taylor of Knight Library fame!

SCENES FROM NYE in DOWNTOWN

We caught the 2014 madness on digital archive throughout Downtown Otown. The Knights finish in epic fashion!

To gain access to exclusive “Behind the Scene” video footage of all our aXis girl cover shoots and to stay up to date with all the latest news and events visit us online at www.aXismag.com !

“Be at war with your vices; at peace with your neighbors, and let every new year find you a better man.” - Benjamin Franklin

THE WAILERS @ THE HOUSE OF BLUES

MAGAZINE & PROMOTIONS • AXISMAG.COM

WAYS TO TO LEAVE YOUR SOFA MAGAZINE & PROMOTIONS • AXISMAG.COM

MAGAZINE & PROMOTIONS • AXISMAG.COM

IN OTOWN!

01 1st Thursdays

AMWAY CENTER 400 West Church Street, Suite 200 407.440.7000 Sat, January 4, 7pm, visit ticketmaster.com for prices

02 B.B. King

BOB CARR PERFORMING ARTS CENTRE 401 W Livingston St. 407.246.4262 Fri, January 3, 8pm, visit ticketmaster.com for prices

03 The Punk Singer

11 The Wailers 30th Anniversary of Legend Tour

07 Orlando Magic vs. Miami Heat

ORLANDO MUSEUM OF ART 2416 N. Mills Ave. 407.896.4231 Thus, January 2, 6pm, $0 - $10

THE PUNK SINGER

ROCK OUT

THE ENZIAN 1300 South Orlando Avenue, Maitland 407.629.0054 Fri, Jan 3 – Wed, Jan 8, times vary, $7.50 - $10 Kathleen Hanna, lead singer of the punk band Bikini Kill and dance-punk trio Le Tigre, rose to national attention as the reluctant but never shy voice of the Riot Grrrl movement. She became one of the most famously outspoken feminist icons, a cultural lightning rod. Her critics wished she would just shut-up, and her fans hoped she never would. So in 2005, when Hanna stopped shouting, many wondered why.Through 20 years of archival footage and intimate interviews with Hanna,THE PUNK SINGER takes viewers on a fascinating tour of contemporary music and offers a never-before-seen view into the life of this fearless leader.

08 2013 Sundance Film Festival Short Films THE ENZIAN 1300 South Orlando Avenue, Maitland 407.629.0054 Tues, January 7, 6:30pm, $7.50 - $10 A roller coaster mix of drama and comedy, the Sundance Film Festival Short Films program is a 93-minute collection of eight short films from the 2013 edition of the Festival. Vibrant storytelling highlights the group, including fiction, documentary and animation, with five award-winners. With no rules, the short film serves as a proving ground for young filmmakers to make their mark and for established filmmakers to take risks in story and style.

HOUSE OF BLUES 1490 E. Buena Vista Dr. 407.934.BLUE Fri, January 10, 8pm, $20 - $22

12 The 4th Wall Cd Release Party with Solillaquists of Sounds / Blueprint/ E-Tuen & SPS/ Beef Wellington THE SOCIAL 54 N. Orange Ave. 407.246.1419 Sat, January 11, 9pm, $15 - $20

13 Queensryche – Operation: Mindcrime 25th Anniversary Tour

THE PLAZA LIVE 425 N. Bumby Ave. 407.228.1220 Tues, January 14, 6:30pm, $39.50 - $49.50 Although they were initially grouped with the legions of pop-metal bands that dominated the American heavy metal scene of the ‘80s, Queensrÿche were one of the most distinctive bands of the era.Where their contempo09 UCF Fiesta Bowl raries built on the legacy of Van Halen, Aerosmith, and Kiss, Victory Pep Rally Queensrÿche constructed a progressive form of heavy metal CFE Arena that drew equally from the guitar pyrotechnics of post-Van HaUCF Campus ROCK HARD REVUE len metal and ‘70s art rock, most notably Pink Floyd and Queen. Wed, January 8, 7pm, Free After releasing a handful of ignored albums, the band began to break into Join the Fiesta Bowl Champs and future NFL stars the mainstream with the acclaimed 1988 album Operation: Mindcrime. Blake Bortles and Storm Johnson to celebrate an Its follow-up, Empire, was the group’s biggest success, selling over two amazing season! million copies due to the hit single “Silent Lucidity.” Queensrÿche never sustained that widespread popularity -- like most late-’80s metal bands, 10 Ringling Brothers Barnum their audience disappeared after the emergence of grunge. Nevertheless, & Bailey Presents Legends they retained a large cult following well into the ensuing decades. AMWAY CENTER 400 West Church Street, Suite 200 14 The Life Aquatic with 407.440.7000 Steve Zissou Thurs, January 9 – Sun, January 12, times vary, $16+ 1300 South Orlando Avenue, Maitland

04 Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones Opens Fri, Jan 3rd

05 Crimeline Chili Cook-Off

15 Sea Wolf (solo)

SEMINOLE HARLEY DAVIDSON 620 Hickman Cir, Sanford 407.328.1212 Sat, January 4, 10:30am, $5

THE SOCIAL 54 N. Orange Ave. 407.246.1419 Wed, January 15, 8pm, $15

06 Rock Hard Revue

THE ABBEY www.RockHardStore.com Sat Jan 11th • $15 Adv/$20 Dos / 7:30pm Doors / 21+

407.629.0054 Tues, January 14, 9:30pm, $5 The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou - When his partner is killed by the mysterious and possibly nonexistent Jaguar Shark, Steve Zissou and his Team Zissou crew set off for an expedition to hunt down the creature. Along with his estranged wife, a beautiful journalist and a co-pilot who could possibly be Zissou’s son, the crew set off for one wild expedition.

THE LIFE AQUATIC with STEVE

“To kick start my New Year, I took an IQ and the results were negative.” - Jay Leno

ZISSOU

aXismag.com • January 2014

16 Dustin Diamond

ORLANDO IMPROV 9101 International Drive 407.480.LAFF Wed, January 15, 8pm, $12 Dustin became internationally known as the humorous “Screech” character on NBC’s Saved by the Bell. Dustin is not only one of the most recognizable faces in show business, but a standout in today’s comedy world. He has performed in some of the most prestigious comedy clubs in the United States and Canada including The Improv (LA, Las Vegas, etc.) and Caroline’s in New York City. Dustin is no stranger to the big screen either. He has appeared in over 18 feature films including Made (which earned him a nomination for Best Cameo at the 2002 MTV Music Awards), and Dickie Roberts with David Spade.

25 New Politics, Magic Man, Sleeper Agent THE SOCIAL 54 N. Orange Ave. 407.246.1419 Sat, January 18, 7pm, $15 - $17

26 To Write Love on Her Arms: Heavy and Light with Jon Foreman, The Summer Set, Mary Lambert HOUSE OF BLUES 1490 E. Buena Vista Dr. 407.934.BLUE Sun, January 19, 6pm, $21.50 - $24

WAY

CELTICS vs MAGIC at AM

17 Ska Goes Gold Tour with Chris DeMakes of Less Than Jake BACKBOOTH 37 W. Pine St. 407.999.2570 Thurs, January 16, 7:30pm, $12

18 Classic Albums Live Presents: The Beatles’ Abbey Road HARD ROCK LIVE 6050 Universal Blvd. 407.351.LIVE Fri, January 17, 8pm, $15 - $30

THE PLAZA LIVE 425 N. Bumby Ave. 407.228.1220 Fri, January 17, 8pm, $20 - $30

20 Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit

Opens Fri, January 17th In a story taking place prior to the original Jack Ryan stories, Ryan is a young stockbroker working for a billionaire in Moscow before joining the CIA.When the billionaire he is advising frames him for a terrorist plot and kidnaps his wife, Ryan must race against time to clear his name, stop the plot, and save his wife.

W JACK RYAN: SHADO

RECRUIT

27 Orlando Magic vs. Boston Celtics

AMWAY CENTER 400 West Church Street 407.440.7000 Sun, January 19, 6pm, visit ticketmaster.com for prices

28 Knights of Badassdom

21 Kevin Nealon

Opens Tues, January 21st A huge group of dedicated, costumed LARPers (Live Action Role Players) give up their cell phones and take to the woods to re-enact a dungeons and dragons scenario right out of the mythical Middle Ages. Once he arrives, J , recently dumped by his sexy girlfriend, meets the hot, ass-kicking, intimidating LARPer Gwen. However, when a make-believe wizard casts an all-too-real spell, an actual demon with a taste for human blood starts systematically decimating the players in this suddenly deadly “game.”

ORLANDO IMPROV 9101 International Drive 407.480.LAFF Fri, Jan 17 – Sat, Jan 18, various times and prices

CFE ARENA I LOVE 12777 Gemini Blvd N. 407.823.3070 Sat, Jan 18, 12pm, visit ticketmaster. com for prices

THE RAVENOUS PIG 1234 N Orange Ave. • 407.628.2333 Tuesdays through Fridays, 4:30pm – 6pm, Join The Ravenous Pig for the newest happy hour in Winter Park.They feature signature cocktails, draft beers, house champagne and wine specials served with an exceptional selection of specialty appetizers, Swine Hour is Orlando’s newest see-and-be-seen weekday happy hour in town. Featured specials include $4 draft beers, $4 champagne, $7 select wine, $8 select cocktails and appetizers from $4 - $8.

30 Orlando Ballet: Uncorked!

19 Galactic

22 UCF vs. SMU

29 Daily Swine Hour

THE ‘90s PUB CRAW

THE ABBEY 100 S. Eola Dr. • 321.418.7646 Tues, January 21, 7pm – 9pm, $30 A little dance, some wine… Uncorked! returns with your inside scoop on Robert Hill’s artistic process and motivations behind some of his greatest choreographic works. Followed by a question and answer session with Robert and the dancers. Limited seating, advance purchase is recommended.

31 AFI

THE BEACHAM 46 N. Orange Ave. • 407.246.1419 Tues, January 21, 6:30pm, $25 - $35

32 The Story of Descendents/All

THE ENZIAN 1300 South Orlando Ave • 407.629.0054 Tues, January 21, 9:30pm, call for prices Long before Green Day and Blink 182 inflicted punk-rock’s puncture wound on the map of mainstream music, the Descendents were in a garage concocting the perfect mix of pop, angst, love, and coffee. The film follows band leader/drummer/square-peg Bill Stevenson and his “caffeinated retardedness” as he pushes his rotating door of bandmates to “achieve ALL,” his philosophy of going for greatness at all costs. Stevenson is a force to be reckoned with, proving that not even a grapefruit-sized brain tumor can keep him down. Interviews with the band, along with Dave Grohl (Foo Fighters), Mike Watt (Minutemen), Brett Gurewitz (Bad Religion) and many more reveal the story of a band—if not THE band— responsible for pop-punk as you know it.

KNIGHTS OF BADASSDOM

23 Bill O’Reilly and Dennis Miller

BOB CARR PERFORMING ARTS CENTRE 401 W Livingston St. 407.246.4262 Sat, Jan 18, 8pm, visit ticketmaster.com for prices

24 I Love the 90’s Pub Crawl

DOWNTOWN ORLANDO Eye Spy/ The Attic/ One Eye’d Jacks/ Ember Sat, January 18, 8pm, $10 - $20 They’ve commissioned the best venues in Orlando to play all 90′s and are relying on you to bring us back to the lost decade of Grunge Rock, Hip Hop, Baywatch, Seinfeld, the Simpsons and South Park…yes…it’s been on TV that long! The music was unforgettable so crawl away to a great decade. As you travel back in time you’ll be provided with the usual OPC benefits that you have come to know and love with Miller Lite and Bacardi deals.

“When I thought about the evils of drinking in the New Year, I gave up thinking.” - aXis Mag

39 36

39 Ralphie May

MAGAZINE & PROMOTIONS • AXISMAG.COM

WAYS TO TO LEAVE YOUR SOFA

MAGAZINE & PROMOTIONS • AXISMAG.COM

& GET OFF YOUR A$$!

34 Chowder Fest

WINTER PARK FARMERS MARKET 200 W. New England Ave. Wed, Jan 22, 6pm – 9pm, $25 includes unlimited sampling of chowder, beer and wine Join The Chowder Festival at the Winter Park Farmer’s Market, for an evening of amazing fun. A variety of area food vendors will be competing for the 2014 Chowder Cup, which was previously awarded to Fleming’s Steakhouse in 2013

35 Lucero

THE SOCIAL 54 N. Orange Ave. 407.246.1419 Thurs, January 23 and Fri, January 24, 8pm, $20

HARD ROCK LIVE 6050 Universal Blvd. 407.351.LIVE Fri, January 24, 8pm, $35 Though he finished in second place on The Last Comic Standing, he has had much success in the business and has appeared in a number of comedy shows. He has been seen in The Wayne Brady Show and on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno. In 2005, in addition to joining Celebrity Fit Club, he released his comedy album called Just Correct. He also has three Comedy Central specials to his name.

40 Against Me!

THE BEACHAM 46 N. Orange Ave. 407.246.1419 Sat, January 25, 5:30pm, $15 - $23

41 Monster Jam

S DINNER

ORLANDO GIRL GEEK

FLORIDA CITRUS BOWL 1 Citrus Bowl Place 407.423.2476 Sat, Jan 25, 7pm, ticketmaster.com

47 Phobias

THE FALCON 819 E. Washington St. 407.423.3060 Fri, January 31, 11pm, free

I, FRANKENSTEIN

36 Orlando Girl Geeks Dinner

48 Arctic Monkeys

STARDUST VIDEO & COFFEE 1842 E. Winter Park Road 407.623.3393 Thurs, January 23, 7pm – 10pm The Girl Geek Dinners were founded on the 16th August 2005 as a result of one girl geek who got annoyed and frustrated about being one of the only females attending technical events. She was tired of being assumed to be marketing, tired of constantly having to prove herself and decided that she just wanted a change and to be treated just the same as any other geek out there, gender and age aside. After all to be geeky is to be intelligent, have passion for a subject and to know that subject in depth. It’s not at all about being better than others, or about gender, race, religion or anything else. Those things just detract from the real fun stuff, the technology, the innovation and the spread of new ideas.

49 Highway to Hell – AC/DC Tribute HOUSE OF BLUES 1490 E. Buena Vista Dr. • 407.934.BLUE Fri, January 31, 7:30pm, $10 - $13

37 I, Frankenstein

Opens Fri, January 24th Frankenstein’s monster Adam (Aaron Eckhart) gets swept up in a longrunning battle between powerful gargoyles and infernal demons who seek the key to his immortality as director Stuart Beattie brings Kevin Grevioux’s acclaimed graphic novel to the screen in this sweeping horror fantasy adventure.

RD ROCK

RALPHIE MAY @ HA

HARD ROCK LIVE 6050 Universal Blvd. 407.351.LIVE Fri, January 31, 7pm, $26 - $35 To date the band have released four LPs - 2006’s Whatever People Say I Am, That’s What I’m Not remains the fastest-selling debut album by a British group ever. A year later they followed with the leaner, meaner Favourite Worst Nightmare and in 2009 unleashed Humbug, a dalliance into stoner rock with Queens Of The Stone Age front man Josh Homme that remains the band’s most divisive record. 2011 saw them drop Suck It And See, featuring tracks such as “The Hellcat Spangled Shalalala”, which, depending on whether you’ve ever considered buying a white suit or a leather jacket, sound either like Tom Wolfe titles or guitar effects pedals.

42 NorseKorea 3 Year Anniversary Party with the Sh-Booms!, Saskatchewan, DEL VENICCI, Sweet Bronco, The New Lows, Wet Nurse, Yogurt Smoothness

50 An Evening of Keb’ Mo’ Acoustic THE PLAZA LIVE 425 N. Bumby Ave. 407.228.1220 Fri, January 31, 7pm, $25 - $50

WILL’S PUB / LIL INDIES 1042 N. Mills Ave. www.willspub.org Sat, January 25, 7pm, $7 - $10

43 Reggie Williams H20 Live! 100 W. Livingston Sat, Jan 25 • 7pm

44 Solar Bears vs. Everblades

AMWAY CENTER 400 West Church Street, Suite 200 407.440.7000 Sun, January 26, 3pm, $15+ Sat, Dec 28th • $20-$203 / 6:45pm /All Ages

38 NorseKorea 3 Year Anniversary Party with Turbo Fruits, Me Chinese, the band in Heaven, Mojave Wilde, ButterQueen, and Fast Preacher BACKBOOTH 37 W. Pine St. 407.999.2570 Fri, January 24, 6pm, $7 - $10

45 6th RescueFest Pet Adoption ORLANDO Location TBA Visit confectionfest.com for details Sun, January 26, 12pm – 5pm

46 The Bunny the Bear BACKBOOTH 37 W. Pine St. • 407.999.2570 Thurs, January 30, 6:30pm, $10

ARCTIC MONKEYS

@ HARD ROCK

“New Year’s Day now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.” - Mark Twain

RALPHIE MAY STILL ENJOYING THE TASTE OF SUCCESS!

WHO: RALPHIE MAY WHERE: HARD ROCK LIVE WHEN: FRI, JAN 24th • DRS 8:00pm INFO: HARDROCK.COM/LIVE • 407.351.5483 classic albums live the beatles

“abbey road” - 1/17

ralphie may - 1/24

coming soon 1/17

classic albums live

the beatles “abbey road”

1/24

ralphie may

1/31

foundation presents

arctic monkeys Sold Out

2/7

queens of the stone age

2/23 pat benatar & neil giraldo

2/26 austin mahone

You spend alotta time with your fans, and you show ‘em alotta love. How important is it to bond with your fans? May: You gotta treat the fans right. If you treat the fans right, then the art gets taken care of. I respect my fans because without ‘em, we’re fuckin homeless people, ya know?

2/28 jennifer nettles

What’s the strangest body part someone’s ever asked you to sign? May: Vaginas. I’ve signed a BUNCH of ‘em! Just whip ‘em out, right there in public. It’s crazy. [laughs] I’ve never signed a cock and balls, but I wouldn’t be surprised.

3/25

For someone who has accomplished so much in their career, how do you define “success” within the comedy industry? May: If you’re happy with what you do, and you do what makes you happy, you’re a success. Love what you do and do what you love. If you live within your means, you pay all your bills, and you’re happy as hell—you’re a success. Too many people are miserable—they hate life. But that doesn’t mean YOU should hate it. They think the money makes ‘em a success. It doesn’t. It’s too fleeting. They can take it all away. If they took away all my money and all my posessions, I’d still be a success because I’d still have my wife and my kids.

pentatonix

3/29 the moody blues 5/4

boz scaggs

5/12

il divo

7/3

lindsey stirling

join hardrockrewards.com hardrock.com /hardrockorlando

In 2003 he competed in the first season of Last Comic Standing. NBC would not let him past the first round because he was “too fat.” But he got himself a standing ovation EVERY SINGLE ROUND all the way to the finals. And they STILL gave him second place! Comedian Ralphie May, is still stopped once a day—10 years after the competition aired—by fans who think he should have won. His first comedy special Just Correct went platinum in 2004, and the CD version made the top ten list on the Billboard comedy charts. But Ralphie was just getting warmed up. He later followed up with four Comedy Central specials: Girth of a Nation (2006), Prime Cut (2007), Austin-tatious (2008) and Too Big To Ignore (2012).

@hardrockliveorl

tickets available by calling the hard rock live box office at +1-407-351-5483 or ticketmaster at tickmaster.com or +1-407-839-3900

artists, showtimes & prices subject to change all shows are all ages unless otherwise stated

After doing comedy for 23 years, do you feel like you’ve seen it all? May: Not at all. Every day’s a new adventure. Even bein’ in the same town, same stage—there’s always a buncha new crazy shit that comes up—and it’s hilarious. It’s always fun. I go on stage and turn on hundreds of women. It’s a shot to the ego for a guy who’s 400 pounds. It’s like, “Whaaat? That never happens!” And to have that affect on people— it’s hot. It’s funny. It’s wonderous. Gettin hit on by women who are takin pictures with me, whisperin dirty shit in my ear—even though their man is right there—it’s like, “Jesus Christ! You filthy animal!” Aside from dazzling your fans, what about peers? How important is their respect? May: To me, not important at all. I don’t want the recognition of my peers. Cuz I’ll never get it. I don’t care if they like me. I don’t want everyone to love me. That’s never been my goal. If everyone loves you, you’re doin somethin wrong. McDonalds has the most popular burger in the world. But if you eat it, you won’t shit right for a week. Now when it comes to writing material, you’re a machine. You’ve had eight successful comedy specials within the past eight years. How the hell do you do it? May: The majority of the material that I write—I live it. I write it because I live it. And I’ve always written really fast. Which is why at first I got called a “hack”—but really, I just out-wrote everybody. When you’re working so hard and doing good things, how do you not let the negativity and the name-calling bother you? May: Here’s the truth: People are gunna shitbag on you ALL THE TIME. Alotta comedians succumb to that—especially you young puppy comics—and then they end up quitting stand up comedy. The ones that power through it and stay focused on their dreams will always be a success. “It wouldn’t be New Year’s if I didn’t have regrets.” - William Thomas

Jake & Micky’s

year Anniversary

PARTY

JANUARY 20TH $ 3 YOU CALL IT

Otown Djâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s compete for a wall of sound

CULTURE

WHO: WINGS TO WALLS PROJECT WHAT:Â #WingsToWalls /Mural Installation WHERE: Mills Ave/Lake Highland WHEN: Sun, Jan 19th INFO: @redbullORL WINGS TO WALLS PROJECT SHOWCASES ORLANDO TALENT IN MURAL BY LOCAL ARTIST ANDREW SPEAR In partnership with the Mills 50 District, Red Bull has brought on established local artist Andrew Spear to highlight Orlando talent a three-part yearlong mural project. The project supports the beautification efforts in the Mills 50 District by providing art to a blank wall on the corner of Lake Highland and North Mills Avenue. The first part of the project began on January 2nd, with Spear beginning to prep the wall for painting and the social contest kicking off to decide which Red Bull Thre3Style local DJ would be featured on the wall.

Fans Vote Socially for Local Red Bull Thre3Style DJ to be featured in Mural

The public can get involved in the project by choosing the talent presented on the wall. In the first installment, Orlando Red Bull Thre3Style DJs will be competing via social media for the mural spot. The local DJs up for exhibition are M-Squared, Rincon, ARock, Nova and Sureshot. Fans vote simply by reposting the provided #WingstoWalls image of their favorite local DJ to their own Instagram or Twitter account with the hashtag #WingstoWalls. Fans are encouraged to follow @redbullORL on Twitter and Instagram for updates to the competition. Artist Andrew Spear will be continuously creating the murals over the course of the year for the project. The first mural will commence in January, and will be ready for display on January 19, running until the beginning of May. Boston born Spear is a national working muralist, illustrator and fine artist now residing in Orlando. His work has been seen in cities across the country, and has included commissioned work for clients such as MTV, Gibson Guitars, Hard Rock Hotel and Disney. Follow @ spearlife on Twitter and visit www.spearlife.com to get to know the artist more.

18 YEARS MAGAZINE & PROMOTIONS • AXISMAG.COM

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= 216 ISSUES = 62,000 PHOTOS

= 540,000 WORDS = 1 TOO MANY HANGOVERS! MAGAZINE & PROMOTIONS • AXISMAG.COM

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’S BURNGSoY ke odbye to Bla

Bittersweet oretold! f e r u t u f L and an NF

By now you’ve probably heard the news that UCF quarterback Blake Bortles has decided to forgo his senior year and enter the 2014 NFL Draft, as his draft grade analysis revealed that he’s a second round pick and ESPN’s Todd McShay has slobbed Bortles’s knob all the way into the Top 15 picks. Regardless of which team selects him with whichever pick they have, not a single UCF fan can argue with the decision. As the Fiesta Bowl MVP, Bortles’s stock could never be higher – short of a BCS Championship victory that would never happen because (I predict) the playoff committee will be even more corrupt and controversial than the BCS – so he has Bortled as much as any man could Bortle for the UCF Fightin’ Bortles. Now comes the most important question – which terrible joke of a team is going to make Bortles its next franchise QB? With the exception of the St. Louis Rams at No. 2, Bortles could be a fit for any of the Top 5 teams, as they all desperately need energy and consistency at QB. Ideally, us UCF fans would pray for the Atlanta Falcons to take Blake at No. 6 so he can sit behind Matt Ryan for two years and take over when the team undoubtedly cuts him because he makes too much money to be so average. Realistically, Blake is doomed to try not to repeat the fates of Blaine Gabbert, Brandon Weeden and every sad mess of a QB that has played in Oakland since Rich Gannon. Using my amazing psychic powers, though, I was able to look into the future and determine not only which team that Blake will play for, but how his entire NFL career will play out. Join me now as I reveal this incredible story, but know that by reading this, we have all altered the course of our futures and now none of us gets to date Kate Upton. It’s a high price we pay. May 8, 2014 Roger Goodell walks to the podium and announces, “With the fourth pick in the 2014 NFL Draft, the Cleveland Browns select… quarterback Blake Bortles from Central Florida University of Florida Central College.” The New York crowd boos as it always does, not because the fans disapprove of Bortles, but because their lives suck and their parents are waiting outside to pick them up. Bortles wears his new Browns hat with pride as he flashes his trademark Hemsworth brother grin, and Browns fans once again feel a renewed energy behind yet another new QB. September 13, 2015 After a promising rookie season that saw the Browns go 14-2 in the regular season behind Bortles’s 5,500 passing yards and 60 TDs (both NFL records), only to lose in the Super Bowl to Seattle Seahawks, who would later be investigated for using robot players, Bortles became the first QB ever to have a 100% passing accuracy in a single game, while attempting more than 30 passes. In fact, Bortles will go 100-for-100 on this day for an amazing 1,214 yards in one game. Pundits will say that it’s mathematically impossible. Bortles’s arm will prove otherwise. February 5, 2017 Having already set every regular season record for a QB, Bortles becomes the youngest QB to win the Super Bowl and Super Bowl MVP honors three years in a row. This new Browns dynasty has other NFL franchises reeling, as attendance and season ticket sales are at an all-time low for every team except Cleveland, which now has a 10,000-year waiting list for tickets. Meanwhile, Dolphins owner Stephen Ross has been sentenced to death after a failed cloning program turns up hundreds of slaughtered copies of Bortles in a ditch behind the team’s new stadium in Ft. Myers. April 21, 2019 Fearing that Bortles has become bored with his back-to-back 6,000-yard seasons and endless string of Super Bowl trophies, the Browns name him partial owner and team GM, leaving drafting duties up to him. He uses each pick of the 2019 NFL Draft on kickers because, “I can’t live with the knowledge that I have caused so many foot injuries from excessive extra points.” September 18, 2022 Bortles becomes the first NFL QB to ever play an entire game while wearing a blindfold. Amazingly, he only throws one incomplete pass, and it was to a Golden Retriever that the team signed to play wide receiver. May 1, 2029 After 15 incredible seasons in the NFL, in which he won 15 MVP awards, 15 Super Bowls (the loss to Seattle was overturned after the discovery of Pete Carroll’s cyborg technology), 15 Super Bowl MVPs, and broke every single QB record ever maintained, Bortles announces his retirement so he can focus on his 12 supermodel girlfriends. One week later, still as the Browns GM, Bortles selects his replacement… Blake Bortles, Jr., who, at the age of just 13, already led UCF to four consecutive NCAA Championships.

BREWSCHOOL...

aXismag.com • January 2014

KEEPING YOU HIP TO THE hops Resolutions for the Non-Quitters!

I RESOLVE TO HAVE A BREW!

New Year’s resolutions rarely work, especially if they include quitting drinking! So in order to not quit, but still feel good, what light brews are tasty, but good on the carbs and calories? Coopers Pale Ale from Australia only has 131 calories and 6 grams of carbs. It is a pale ale with a rich golden color, a light, crisp body, and a hazy appearance. You can expect hints of hop fruitiness in the backbone. Another light brew would be Paulaner Original Lager from Germany. Paulaner has 147 calories. It is a German Helles Lager that is light, crisp, and refreshing in taste with a subtle hop aroma.

Any brews that include real fruits or ingredients that you would support for a balanced diet? There is a large amount of beers out there that use real fruits used in their brew. One I personally like is Abita Purple Haze. It is a wheat beer that is brewed with fresh raspberry puree providing nutrients and vitamins. It only has 128 calories and 11 carbs. Another beer brewed with fruit is Blue Point Blueberry. They use 732 pounds of fresh, plump and juicy, handpicked, USA Northern Highbush Blueberries in every batch! With only 131 calories in this beer, you can drink more than 2 or 3!

Less isn’t always more. Any darker, fuller beers that are actually good for the overall health kick? Guinness is surprisingly healthy and not filling. A lot of people think Guinness is heavy because of it’s dark color. It is unexpectedly light. A serving of the stout beer boasts 126 calories, which is 19 less than a Budweiser and 24 less than a Heineken. Guinness also contains under 10 carbs. Roasted taste is present with no hops in either the flavor or aroma. This type of Stout has low carbonation and an extra-thick head. Smithwicks is an amber ale with low carbohydrates coming in at 150. It pours a coppery red color with a small amount of lacing and head. It is mildly hopped with a roasted malt finish.

Best beer after a long jog or workout? According to a study published at Granada University in 2007, a pint of beer can rehydrate you as quickly as the same amount of water. Beer contains salts, sugars and carbohydrates that can replace nutrients and calories lost during your run. After a long run, I’d drink Victory Lager! Nothing says good run like a beer that says Victory! Victory lager is a perfect balanced German helles- style lager, medium in body and crisp finish. Prost!

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Congratulations Taylor on being selected by thousands of your peers, and no doubt patrons, as Corona’s 2014 Hottest Bartender in Orlando! Please allow us to introduce you to the rest of Orlando! Being a Hospitality major at UCF, what are some of your goals after graduation? I’d love to get a job in the food and beverage industry, possibly doing sales. So, what do you do with all your FREE TIME at UCF!? After working I like to catch up on my sleep. But I love hanging out with my friends/sorority sisters (Alpha Delta Pi) at philanthropic events, watching Food Net work, baking, and going to theme parks and concerts. Best night to party at the Knight Library and why? I love every night there! But Fridays are definitely my favorite, and I’m excited for this semester-- $5 cover for everyone and free drinks and drafts specials which is pretty awesome! Being at The Knight Library, you have access to a lot of UCF sports fans, what has been the most epic moment at the bar during a UCF sporting event? The Louisville football game this year was insanity! The entire bar was chanting, “U!C!F!,” and fan videos of Knight Library made it on sports websites. As a fan, what have been some of your highlights as part of UCF Nation? Watching every year as the football team and school spirit grow, has been an amazing experience. Obviously, winning the Fiesta Bowl was a highlight! Using your hospitality marketing knowledge, how would you help a Knight Library patron find their beach with a Corona or Corona Light? I think a genuine smile and eye contact with any patron, along with a cold Corona in my hand, goes a long way in persuading them to enjoy a Corona. When getting away from the Black & Gold world for a cold Corona Light, where do you find your beach locally? I was actually enjoying a Corona Light at House of Blues in Downtown Disney just last week before a concert. Disney and Universal are definitely my “beach” where I can get away for the day. If I go to the East Coast it’s usually New Smyrna Beach with friends. If you could pick any beach in the world to enjoy a Corona Light, where would it be and why? I’d love to travel to Greece because it looks gorgeous and different from our own tropical paradise. Where do you ‘Find Your Beach’ metaphorically speaking!? Wherever I’m with fun people, whether it’s my family, my sorority/friends or the Knight Library staff, is where I find my beach. I’m lucky to always be surrounded by awesome people. Photography: www.MIKEANTHONYPHOTO.com

“I think in terms of the day’s resolutions, not the years.’” - Henry Moore

aXismag.com â&#x20AC;˘ January 2014

SCENE @ WALL ST PLAZA on NYE The scene was crazy as ever on New Years Eve at Wall St!

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aXismag.com â&#x20AC;˘ January 2014

SCENE @ WALL ST PLAZA on NYE The scene was crazy as ever on New Years Eve at Wall St!

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aXismag.com â&#x20AC;˘ January 2014

SCENE @ CHURCH ST on New Years Eve The scene was crazy as ever on New Years Eve at Church St!

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aXismag.com • January 2014

CONGRATS TO THE 2014 FIESTA BOWL CHAMPION UCF KNIGHTS! T H E G R EAT EST T EA M IN U CF SPORTS H ISTORY!