m magazine

Page 1

ISSUE

VOL

APRIL 2011 `100

6 4

BODYOF WORK Arjun Rampal

bares his heart on living & learning, forgiving & forgetting

EXCLUSIVE PICTURES

Shahid Kapoor bats for PETA

Skin//Sin//Sun

at a sizzling calendar photo-shoot

+IPL-4: Unusual millionaires Books: Inside Wikileaks Tech: Best of both worlds Travel: Go Greek

COVER M-final#47.indd 62

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April 2011 > contributors > mail call > from the editor

[contents] 034 M Girl: Carla Dennis

038 FOOD

Aphrodisiacs, anyone? Departments

020

> THE STYLE OBSERVER 020

So hot right now: Colour me black-and-white; Focus: Zip zip hurray; The roster: Knot so square; First bite: Seafood soiree; Cheat that look

> THE HUB 048

Bookends: New arrivals

050

Flick Show: Our pick of disaster films

052

Jukebox: Sound Check

> GIZMO STREET 108

Phones with touch and type Our pick of best phones with both QWERTY keypad and touchscreen

114

Just launched: Reviews of Creative ZiiSound D5 speakers, WD TV Live Hub, HP TouchPad and WebOS and Garmin Asus A10

116

Browser: Bloggers’ Park and Wired Wide Web

108

> REGULARS 029

Quick Take: Soha Ali Khan

054

India 2020: Taufiq Qureshi

132

LAST LAUGH: April Flu

On the cover

Arjun Rampal Photograph by Dabboo Ratnani Wardrobe courtesy: Tommy Hilfiger

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[fashion]

118 Block your dates for these hotties... our photographer turns into a y on the wall and zooms in on a sizzling calendar shoot in Rishikesh 130

STOCKISTS

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074

AY

[features]

S

Never

Never

Supermodel Arjun Rampal on living, learning, forgiving and forgetting 086

Indian Premier League 

 

The league of extraordinary gentlemen: Will the fourth edition of the IPL be as successful, and intriguing, as its previous avtars? Whole in One: It’s just not cricket 15 unlikely millionaires

060

BEFORE THEY WERE FAMOUS

The lives of the rich and famous weren’t always all glamour and glitter. It’s hard to imagine now, but once upon a time, even Hollywood actors were once nobodies with stars in their eyes. 00

046

WILL THE REAL JULIAN ASSANGE STAND UP?

Is the world’s most-talked about enfant terrible and founder of Wikileaks an imperious, delusional and self-absorbed man whose time has run out? Or is a genius anarchist?

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Contributors Contrib bu utors 11 1

8

1. Aaditya Walia // fashion stylist [Style Observer; page 020] 2. Zahid Javali // freelance writer [Good to know / Blogger’s Park; page 044 / 116]

5

3. Soutik Biswas // senior journalist [Inside Wikileaks review; page 046]

2

12 12

4. Sudha G. Tilak // freelance writer / blogger [Bookends; page 048] 5. Sanjiv Nair // freelance writer [Film Flicks; page 050] 6. Bijoy Venugopal // freelance writer / blogger [Sound Check / Last Laugh; page 052 / 132]

9

7. Ishan Raghava // car enthusiast [Interview: Prof. Gordon Murray; page 056]

6 3

13 13

8. Daboo Ratnani // photographer [Arjun Rampal Shoot; page 074] 9. Alam Srinivas // senior journalist [League of extraordinary gentlemen; page 086]

10

10. Suresh Menon // sports writer [Column: Whole in One; page 098]

7

11. Rupali Dean // travel writer [Go Greek; page 100]

4 14

12. Nimish Dubey // tech enthusiast [Phones with touch and keypad; page 108] 13. Ashish Bhatia // tech guru [Just Launched; page 114] 14. Hari Nair // fashioin photographer [River Runners; page 118]

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Mail Call We suffer from an overdose of cricket and then came your cricket special in March. We surely could have done without this extra coverage. Cricket is just a sport, but in India it is a cause of worry. Endless discussions lead to a many man-hours getting wasted. Everyone wants to give advice about the game and pretends to be an expert. We struggle to get eight quality teams and then try to be champions. Is cricket really a sport that represents India? Will being champions be a real honour or have we become too dependent on this team? We need to understand that cricket is just a sport and not our life. India has ignored its real cause because it finds its ultimate high in cricket. Our players are nothing special. They get paid to do a job. Why make these wimps into superheroes? We can do without these guys being projected as supermen. India is still looking out for real heroes and not cricket players. Overkill is something that we can leave to the trashy electronic media. M surely can opt out and give us something more fascinating. Karuna Chandwani, Pune

I am not a cricket fanatic, nor do I subscribe to the growing clamour among snobs who believe in cricket bashing just for the sake of being different. Like millions other, I am what they call a fringe spectator. That is why perhaps I loved your April issue, for the eclectic mix of stories and features. Gautam Gambhir’s cover attracted me to the issue, but once I was hooked, what impressed me other than your cricket pages were the style pages and the fashion feature. And the surprise package? Travelling through Italy on a Ferrari. Believe me, I always knew Italy is a beautiful country. But the idea of travelling through its breathtakingly beautiful countryside on a Ferrari beats all other experience. Italy, here I come. Prabhjot Kahlon, Mumbai

LETTER OF THE MONTH I picked up a copy of your April issue to see how differently lifestyle magazines treat something every other media in the country is obsessed with, and I must say that I am very impressed with the complete package in your cricket special. I say complete because yours were not the run-ofthe-mill features we have been bombarded with for the past few months. Starting with the cover shoot of Gautam Gambhir (my personal favourite cricketer in the Indian team), I liked V. Krishnaswamy’s mantras that changed the way we play cricket, and Binoo John’s strategies to win the Cup. With Gauti on the cover, I am sure he would circulate copies of your magazine among his teammates, and Binoo John’s strategies would find takers among men who matter the most in our team. May be it is too late in the day for them to do a course correction in this edition of the Cup. But then, IPL is just round the corner and there are many more cricketing battles to be won in the years to come. To be honest, I was impressed with your soccer World Cup special in June and was looking forward to see how you treated cricket. I must say, M didn’t disappoint me one bit. Shadab Ansari, Varanasi

The Letter of the Month receives a voucher worth `5000 from John Players John Players, the menswear fashion brand from ITC, offers a complete and vibrant wardrobe of work wear, casual, party, denims and outer wear for today’s fashion conscious youth. The collection comes in an exciting mix of colors, playful styling and incredible fits. The brand, personified by youth icon - Ranbir Kapoor, is available across the country through a nation-wide network of over 280 exclusive stores and growing 1200 + MBOs & leading large format stores. We want more mail, please. Bouquets, brickbats, an article/interview you’d like to see featured, a burning topic or two you’d like to comment on: Direct it all to feedback@imagesfashion.com

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/from the editor M has always stood for famous people who have a substantial story to tell, whose experiences inspire us to make our life happier, fitter, and a lot more fun. Arjun Rampal is on our cover this month not just because he is the man of the hour after that remarkable comeback in films such as Rock On and Rajneeti, and with a string of high-octane releases lined up in the next few months. This “last male supermodel of India”, among the most sought after men in the Hindi film industry, is our idea of a story that must be told. For his sheer grit, determination and perseverance. For simply hanging in there and believing in himself and his destiny. In one of his most revealing, and rare, interviews, Arjun bares his heart out to talk about his debut in films, the string of duds that followed, the support system that sustained him through those difficult days, and the dream comeback. Coming to fashion, we have put together a scorcher for you this month: 12 pages of skin, sin and sun... and a calendar shoot in Dehradun. The heat is on and we are not scampering for shades. Not yet. Add to all this what we do best: give you style suggestions, ask questions on your behalf and ponder on other serious things in life. Play along and you will enjoy the issue.

amitabh Taneja

BLUE AND WHITE CHECKED TRIM FIT SHIRT BY TOMMY HILFIGER >> `2499 Photograph by Dabboo Ratnani

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editor-In-Chief amitabh taneja editorial advisor r s roy

executive Editor bobby john varkey director (planning) anjali sondhi bureau head nivedita jayaram pawar (mumbai) sr. fashion stylist carlton desouza fashion stylists rakhi biswas, sania momin creatives art director azad mohan sr. photographer vipin kardam Asst. photographer deepak malik photo coordinator kamal kumar publisher s p taneja business development vice president harjot singh luthra assoc. vice president - circulation anil nagar general manager - advertising bindu pillai (mumbai) assoc. vice presidents & regional heads waseem ahmad (mumbai), piyali roy (kolkata) sr. manager - advertising tushar verma (delhi) sr. manager - circulation rp singh (mumbai) managers - advertising nayan shetty (mumbai), anirban sarkar (kolkata) manager - events and promotions deeba mushtaq mir manager - circulation r parthasarathy (bangalore) deputy managers - circulation ranjeet yadav (delhi); operations rajesh kumar (delhi) executive - advertising sneha sinha (bangalore) production general manager manish kadam manager manoj soni services general manager - logistics rajeev mehandru general manager - customer relations hemant wadhawan subscriptions rajesh kumar sr. executive - logistics shambhu nath images consumer media pvt ltd delhi: s-21, okhla industrial area phase II, new delhi - 110 020 t: +91-11-40525000, f: +91-11-40525001, email: info@imagesfashion.com mumbai: 1st oor, bharat tin works compound, off marol military road, opp. borosil glass works, andheri (e), mumbai - 400 059 t: +91-22-42567000, 29200043/46, f: +91-22-42567022 email: waseem@imagesfashion.com bangalore: no. 523, 7th cross, 10th main, (jeevanbhima nagar main road), h.a.l. 3rd stage, bangalore - 560075; t: +91-080-41255172 41750595/96, f: +91-080-41255182 email: info@imagesfashion.com kolkata: 30-b anil roy road, ground oor, kolkata - 700 029 t: + 91- 33-40080480, email: piyali@imagesfashion.com All material printed in this publication is the sole property of Images Consumer Media Pvt. Ltd. All printed matter contained in the magazine is based on information from those featured in it. The views, ideas, comments and opinions expressed are solely of those featured and the Editor and Publisher do not necessarily subscribe to the same. Printed & Published by SP Taneja on behalf of Images Consumer Media Pvt Ltd; printed at International Print-O-Pac Limited, C/4-11 Phase II, Hosiery Complex, Noida 201301, and published by SP Taneja from S-21, Okhla Industrial Area, Phase II, New Delhi 110020. Editor: Amitabh Taneja In relation to any advertisements appearing in this publication, readers are recommended to make appropriate enquiries before entering into any commitments. Images Consumer Media Pvt. Ltd. does not vouch for any claims made by the advertisers of products and services. The Printer, Publisher and Editor-in-Chief of the publication shall not be held for any consequences in the event of such claims not being honoured by the advertisers. Copyright Images Consumer Media Pvt Ltd. All rights reserved. Reproduction in any manner is prohibited. All disputes are subject to the jurisdiction of competent courts and forums in Delhi/New Delhi only. M does not accept responsibility for returning unsolicited manuscripts and photographs.

For subscription related queries, email: subscription@imagesfashion.com. Visit us at www.m-magazine.in.

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| informed. in STYLE |

compiled by Aaditya Walia

SO HOT RIGHT NOW

Colour me black-and-white utting corners when it comes to selecting a wardrobe won’t get you far. The truth is, there is no alternative C to investing money, and mindspace, to nail the look that screams your style. But remember, never ignore the basics: Loud, need not always be proud; and, black-andwhite is a perennial classic. We say go pure. If colour blocking with a paintbox is not your style, the next smart thing in to do is going black-andwhite for that crisp look. It is ffun too, with each season designers coming out with ne new ways of reworking the yin and yang of this winning g ccombination. Don’t worry, you just cannot go wrong with it this monochrome way of keeping it stylish.

BURBERRY PRORSUM

EMPORIO ARMANI

ETRO UOMO

020 | APRIL 11

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FASHIONWISE NEWS APRIL 2011

GUCCI

VERSACE

FASHION ETC# 47.indd 21

DOLCE & GABBANA

SALVATORE FERRAGAMO

DIOR HOMME

3/31/2011 11:28:28 AM


The Style Observer

Zip zip hooray ere’s something new to ponder on. H We have grown to love

VICTOR & ROLF

DOLCE & GABBANA

a not-so-regular-trend these days. How about bold accents like zippers? Technically, they have always been a part of what you wear. Unconventional as it may sound, a number of designers are experimenting with creative ways to make it the highlight of the piece. Stylishly distinctive, we say. Zipper trousers are a great way of breaking the monotony of the regular trousers and denims. Add zipper jackets to the list of things you can try on to create different looks, effortlessly.

022 | APRIL 11

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3/31/2011 11:30:02 AM


PAUL SMITH

EMPORIO ARMANI

CUE

BURBERRY PRORSUM

GAURAV GUPTA

GUCCI

APRIL 2011

023 | APRIL 11

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The Style Observer

SALVATORE FERRAGAMO

alking of tailoring your suits and scents, the discerning gentleman in you has got much more to T think of... the importance of a well-made tie. Add pocket

TWEEN

squares to it. Its about making sure you dress the part this season. Read on for a dossier on the right knot and squares. Printed, striped, polka dotted ties and pocket squares play an important role in completing the look. A classic suit gets a crisp makeover by just adding ďŹ ne detailed ties and pocket squares. For the formal look, keep the tie as the highlight. And for the evening do? Well, let the pocket square do the talking.

ETRO UOMO

VIAVERO TIE PINK

ETRO UOMO

CORNELIANI

TIE-RACK

CUE

024 | APRIL 11

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TIE-RACK

3/31/2011 11:30:20 AM


APRIL 2011

Colour coded What’s the nub: Menswear brand Celio’s new Spring Summer 2011 line. What’s on offer: Celio Chromie is a heady mix of style details and fabrics, infused with a range of colours, from yellow zest, frosted orange, blackcurrant sorbet to hues of greys, blues and beige that add to the monochrome look. Price: T-Shirts `499-`1299; Pullovers/Sweaters `1599`2999; Outwear/Jackets `2999`3599; Casual Trousers `1799`2199; Cargos and sportswear trousers `2199-`2799; Shirts `999-`2299; Denims `1799`2699; Belts `499-`1499; Other accessories `129-`1099.

Ride on f you are a bike enthusiast, this one is for you. Timberland has introduced a new biker-friendly I collection of footwear and apparel, called ‘Ride On’ to let you ride freely this season. Designed to be both practical and stylish, the collection is ideal for commuting to work or getting around town during weekends. For Spring 2011, Timberland has introduced a new collection of bike-friendly footwear that incorporates the Bike Plate Technology. It allows the foot to flex normally while walking on the trail or street, but keeps the foot stiff while pedaling, providing stability, enhancing performance and speeding up your commuting time. The company has also launched a line of apparel called Cycle Chinos. Made of organic cotton, the fabric stretches for easy movement while cycling and offers more natural breathability. It has seams moved from their normal position for less abrasion allowing pockets to be in a more accessible position for the riders.

Power steering t’s an all new statement from the Tata stable. With exteriors detailed in chrome and interiors dressed I in beige and burgundy, an internationally acclaimed 1.4L engine, powerful 2 DIN music system, and the most luxurious backseat in its class, the Manza is the next big car to lust for in India. What’s on offer: The Blue 5 technology of the music system lets you pair up to 5 phones and browse through contacts and song lists from the car stereo; a sophisticated Driver Information System (DIS) that gives you regular updates on what’s going on under the hood; a Critical Rev Indicator (CRI) that turns red when you touch critical RPM; and much more.

Crystal clear What’s the nub: Swarovski’s new collection of jewellery and accessories specially designed for men. What’s on offer: NANO Necklace: Brushed, and polished steel choker, with black faceted ceramic tips in the form of a tube mounted on an interwoven leather strap >> Price: `6,300 // NEWTON Pendant Screw: Threedimensional pendant in the form of a screw, made of polished steel >> Price: `6,950 // NEVADA Crocodile Bracelet: Wide bracelet in polished steel, with antic look >> Price: `17,000 // NIGHTFALL Wide Bracelet: Wide bracelet in black calfskin with tone-on-tone topstitching >> Price: `12,500 // NEW ENGLAND Ring and Cuff Links: Ring in polished steel in the form of a coat of arms >> Price: `4,750 and 4,000 // MOONCARBON Ring and Bracelet: Ring and bracelet in polished steel covered in anthracite carbon fiber and Jet-colored crystals >> Price: `4,750 and 9,200 025 | APRIL 11

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3/31/2011 11:34:52 AM


The Style Observer

Actor Matthew McConaughey at the ABC Radio Studios in New York. Photograph: Ray Tamarra/Getty Images)

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APRIL 2011

Cheat That Look he suit, they say, is the most versatile piece you can have T in your wardrobe. You can do

anything with it and still never go wrong. True. But this month we give you an alternative: a not so traditionally formal look, but no less impressive. Inspired by Matthew McConaughey (facing page), all you need is a good trouser in light weight fabric. Grey is great for summer, but you could also try a navy, brown, beige or black pair. Match it up with a crisp white shirt, a vest (in the same fabric as the trousers; black works ďŹ ne with any shade of grey or darker colours), a slim tie that matches the trousers and vest (since the shirt is white), slick leather shoes (black or brown, depending on the trousers; and remember, your belt must match your shoes). Once you have put on all these, go see yourself in the mirror!

Photograph: Bikramjit Bose Styling: Carlton Desouza & Sania Momin Hair and make-up: Anjali Noronha Model: Diego (Toabh Models)

WHITE SHIRT BY KENNETH COLE AND SLIM TIE BY D&G, BOTH FROM THE COLLECTIVE // VEST, PANTS AND BELT BY ZARA // LEATHER SHOES BY TRESMODE // SUNGLASSES BY FOSSIL.

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The Style Observer Hot off the grill or mixed into a cooling salad, its the perfect summer dish to drool for. If seafood is your weakness, head straight to the Lotus Café at JW Marriott in Mumbai to feast on a variety of crustaceans such as freshwater blue scampi, tiger prawn, sand lobster, whole clams, green mussels, mud crab, sea crab and Scottish Salmon.

APRIL 2011

FIRST BITE

SEAFOOD SOIREE by Nivedita Jayaram Pawar

The setting

At first look, the café looks too big to be comfortable. But what adds to its allure is the high ceiling, the large glass windows, and a constant buzz. Usually behind the open kitchen, Executive Sou Chef Himanshu Taneja can even be seen roaming the dining room when there’s a pause in the action.

The Food

This is paradise if you are a seafood lover. You can catch most of the basics at this café - oysters on the half shell, crab in garlic butter, a classic English chowder and paper thin smoked salmon on a bed of lettuce. But chef Himanshu is not content with mimicing every other fish purveyor in town. He also tempts diners with panseared lobster with an intriguing sauce made of lobster essence and cognac, which he serves with roast potatoes; and pan-seared salmon with veloute sauce, served on a bed of sautéed spinach. Excellent with a Tarapaca Sauvignon Blanc from Chile. Neither is likely to be a combination you’ve encountered before, and both dishes demonstrate imagination combined with experience. These signature dishes sit alongside international favourites such as Tom Yum Goon, New England clam chowder and Shellfish Bisque. The more traditional at heart can head to the live counters where the chef will rustle up seafood to your taste - western style with butter-garlic or oriental in wok-seared szechuan style or the good old Goan curry. Crabs done in Indian style and grilled Basa with a hint of pepper start dinner on the right note. Dishes such as prawns in black bean sauce served with steamed rice continue the pleasure. But don’t stop there. The handcrafted pasta (not the supermarket variety) and the live roast counter show that the kitchen takes its main course as seriously as its starters. The café doesn’t skimp on the last course. Instead, it offers 15-20 desserts, from the simple to the sophisticated. Strawberry shortcake celebrates the fruit with a tender, bun-size biscuit. An assortment of ice-creams waits to

be paired with Oreo biscuits, exotic sauces and fresh fruits. Kids will be delighted with the marshmallows and assorted candies. Of the more upscale endings, I’m partial to the warm, pudding-like chocolate mud pie. Those endings make a sweet impression, as do the affable young waiters and the willingness of the manager to change my wine which he believed was corked.

Facts Juhu Tara Road, Juhu, Mumbai 400049 Tel: 022 6693 3276/3344/3000

Meal for two:

`4000 (without alcohol) Seafood buffet on till 31 May

What we liked

The seafood-heavy script remembers the vegetarians with a great margarita pizza, freshly made home style pasta and a live dosa counter that keeps everyone happy. Also, the freshness of the seafood is retained in the subtle flavours and cooking techniques. For instance, the Scottish Salmon is marinated with sea salt and seared with clarified butter to crispy skin. Eating such thoughtfully prepared food makes me want to stop my neighbour from ordering wild mushroom soup which he can get at any Indian restaurant, and urge him to give something less common a whirl. To experience the best of Lotus Café, you simply need to open yourself to some experiments.

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{

Soha Ali Khan On sharing screen space with her mother Sharmila Tagore in Life Goes on

{

Photograph by Suresh Natarajan (M May-June 2008)

YOU PLAY A GIRL WHO GROWS CLOSE TO HER FATHER AFTER HER MOTHER’S DEATH. HOW CLOSE ARE YOU TO YOUR FATHER IN REAL LIFE? We are very close to each other, as we have the same temperament. I have seen myself growing into him. I think I will become like him when I grow older, which will be very cool. He loves us very much, though it was mom who laid down all the rules for us: From our curfew time to letting us stay over at friends’ place etc. Whenever mom used to be out, my father would have no clue about our questions. He used to simply say: “Call your mom and ask her.”

YOU SHARE SCREEN SPACE WITH YOUR MOTHER FOR THE FIRST TIME. Filming with her was very special because when we were shooting, she told me it would be her last film. “I’m going to retire,” she kept telling all of us. But she has been saying this for the last 20 years. Since then, she has already done three more films. I have always wanted a film common to both our filmographies. This film in particular is very touching for both of us. The way she has been presented, and the manner in which it film deals with the dynamics of a mother-daughter relationship, is very special. It will be wonderful to have this film in my DVD collection.

HOW DIFFICULT OR EASY WAS IT TO DELIVER YOUR DIALOGUES IN ENGLISH? I am comfortable with English, but I had to work on the accent because I play the character of a girl who is brought up in England. Fortunately, since we were shooting in London with a British crew, it was not a tough task.

BUT DIDN’T YOU SPEND A LOT OF TIME IN LONDON? But I have been in Mumbai for the past five years. Here we don’t speak the purest form of any language – be it English or Hindi.

DID THE SHOOT BRING BACK MEMORIES OF THE TIMES YOU HAD SPENT IN LONDON? Yes it did. Though we did shoot in Central London, we also shot at a lovely suburb which I was not very familiar with. I keep going to London every year so it was not as though I was visiting after a long time. But I wanted to shoot a film in London – it has been a home away from home. The city is fun, multicultural and when the sun comes out, it is perfect. I have a lot of college friends there. They are amused by the fact that I do films, as I have always done things which were very academic.

TELL US ABOUT THE OTHER TWO FILMS YOU ARE WORKING ON CURRENTLY – CHEMISTRY AND SOUNDTRACK? Chemistry is a romantic comedy, a first for me. Soundtrack is a drama about a DJ who loses his hearing and a deaf girl (played by me) who makes him aware that life can still go along. 029 | APRIL 11

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scent percent

This one is for all you adventurous blokes.... Get rid of your perfume prejudices and leave a pleasant fragrance print in your wake. It’s about a style signature that follows wherever you go. Remember, the sign of a good perfume is that you can’t smell it, but others can.

Photographs by Vinod Aggarwal Styling: Rakhi Biswas

2

3

1

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BVLGARI POUR HOMME SOIR; `4000 DUNHIL DESIRE BLUE; `3700 GUCCI BY GUCCI; `4850 ROADSTER CARTIER; `4455 ESCADA SENTIMENT; `3850 CANALI SIGNATURE; `3550

SPRUCE

1 2 3 4 5 6

5 4 6

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1 2 3 4 5 6

SALVATORE FERRAGAMO; `3250 BOSS HUGO BOSS; `3800 PACO RABANNE POUR HOMME; `2200 VERSACE VERSUS; `4500 INIZIO AQUA HOMME; `1800 THE BEAT BY BURBERRY; `3700

2 3

1

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SPRUCE

5

4 6

PERFUMES COURTESY: KUNCHALS

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 GIRL

Carla Dennis Photographs by Nitin Patel Interview: Nivedita Jayaram Pawar Styling: Carlton Desouza & Sania Momin Hair and make-up: Elton Fernandez Model Courtesy: Toabh Models Hey Carla, where are you from? Cape Town, South Africa. And now in India... Yeah. Last year I was watching an IPL cricket match and was selected as a finalist for the Miss IPL Bollywood pageant. That was when I was bitten by the modelling bug, and after some contemplation, I decided to pack my bags and follow my dreams. It has been over a year and I have fallen in love with the culture, people and the positive energy this country packs in. If you were not a model… I would be completing my articles as a candidate attorney. What’s your idea of fun? Acting and dancing.

HOW IMPORTANT IS SEX IN A RELATIONSHIP?

EXTREMELY IMPORTANT!

Indian men are... Sexy. ..

034 | APRIL 11

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CARDIGAN BY TOMMY HILFIGER

3/31/2011 11:55:00 AM


INTERVIEW

M GIRL#47.indd 35

3/31/2011 11:55:07 AM


FIRST DATE: WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?

COOK TOGETHER… A BOTTLE OF WINE AND MUSIC.

What’s your ideal day? A fun shoot followed by meetings, my cross-fit training and finally a drink with the girls at a swanky cocktail bar. Ever been stalked? Yes! A few years ago a guy kept calling me at midnight every day without saying a word. He called from an unknown number so I could not trace him. This went on for a long time even after I changed my mobile number! I then managed to find out that the psycho was actually an ex. How do you deal with unwanted attention? I simply ignore it... as simple as that! Ever broken the law? What did you do? Yes, I drove without a driving license for a while. Early mornings or late nights? Late nights. Adventure holidays or laid-back sunsets? An adventure holiday followed by a laid-back sunset! The sun isn’t going anywhere, so why choose? (giggles) The worst lie you ever told? I don’t lie. I am an honest person. Are you an easy-going girlfriend or a highmaintenance nut? Totally easy going! I am a jeans and t-shirt kind of girl.

BLACK DRAPE TOP FROM GOD MADE ME FUNKY

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INTERVIEW

A GUY LIKES YOU... HOW CAN HE GRAB YOUR ATTENTION?

MAKE ME LAUGH

What’s the one thing you want to do before you die? Swim with dolphins in Bora Bora. And what would be your last meal? A hearty South African stew followed by our famous family truffle. What’s an instant turn off in a man? Shyness. What’s your take on: One night stands, threesomes, quickies? One night stands are for the commitment phobic; threesomes are adventurous; and quickies are essential. What do you wake up in? Soft satin pj’s. If money wasn’t an issue, what would you like as a gift? A beautiful watch and a ring set. Do you read? What are you reading nowadays? Life After Death by Deepak Chopra What’s your biggest fear? Losing my family. Is Bollywood calling? Watch this space!

KNITTED TOP FROM GOD MADE ME FUNKY

M GIRL#47.indd 37

3/31/2011 11:55:14 AM


Aphrodisiac recipes, anyone ?

Photographs and styling by Zahid H Javali Location courtesy:

The Lalit Ashok, Bangalore

Spending close to two decades in the hotel industry, Chef Nimish Bhatia knows how to make you stand up to attention with his aphrodisiac recipes. The Regional Executive Chef at Bangalore’s The Lalit Ashok, he is also a member of the prestigious SICA and La Chaine des Rotisseurs. With certification in HACCP and ISO 22000 auditorship, Bhatia has worked and managed all manner of kitchens – resort, theme, flight, interactive, traditional and ethnic. Not just that. He has trained chefs and also developed and fine-tuned operational practices, food safety and cost management. Without further ado, here are eight aphrodisiac-based recipes from the chef’s kitchens to revive, reboot and revitalise your love life.

Ricotta Cheese and Fig Tart with Seared Asparagus And Roasted Red Pepper Jam INGREDIENTS Tart: Fig: Ricotta cheese: Asparagus: Red bell pepper: Leeks: Celery: Garlic: Sugar: Salt: Crush pepper: Olive oil:

One One 50 gm 2 spheres 50 gm 10 gm 10 gm 1 clove 20 gm To taste 5 gm 20 ml

METHOD Sauté leeks and celery with garlic. Mix it with ricotta cheese. Adjust the

seasoning and roast red bell pepper on the gas flame. Rinse out the skin and chop it fine. Blanch asparagus, sauté in olive oil and keep it aside. Meanwhile, boil red pepper puree and sugar to make a jam. Fill the tart with cheese mixture. Arrange fig on top with asparagus and seared out bell pepper jam. Garnish with rosemary.

THE APHRODISIACS Garlic may have a repulsive effect with its odour and taste but it does enhance desire. And Asparagus, besides its aphrodisiac effect, is diuretic, stimulates the kidneys and purifies the blood.

038 | APRIL 11

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FOOD

Spirals of Norwegian Salmon with Nutmeg, Fennel Mash and Butter Sautéed Leeks INGREDIENTS Smoked Salmon slices: Mashed potato: Leeks diamond: Fennel (Fresh /Seeds): Pinch of nutmeg Garlic: Lemon Juice: Butter: White pepper: Cream: Salt:

180 gm 50 gm 30 gm 20 gm 15 gm 40 ml 20 gm 10 gm 20 ml To taste

METHOD Marinade salmon with salt, pepper and half of the lime juice. Roll it to make spirals. Sauté garlic and fennel mix with mashed potato. Add nutmeg and cream (half). Sauté leeks and keep it aside. Either grill the fish or wrap it in aluminium foil and bake it in the oven at 220 degrees centigrade for 10 minutes. Prepare the sauce with lemon juice, garlic, cream and butter. Place mashed potato at the centre of the plate. Arrange spirals of salmon along with the leeks. Pour over the lemon butter sauce and garnish with parsley or fennel.

THE APHRODISIACS Salmon fish is an excellent source of protein – essential for stamina. It is also loaded with omega 3s, proven to elevate serotonin levels in the brain and thereby enhance mood. It has got a great dose of A, D, B and calcium, all known to enhance libido. Nutmeg is known to produce a hallucinogenic effect. Fennel and garlic add to the mix.

039 | APRIL 11

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Jhinge aur Zatoon ki Chapli

INGREDIENTS Prawns: Green chilli chopped: Garlic chopped: Ginger chopped: Crushed cashew nuts: Garam masala powder: Chopped coriander: Salt: Chopped onions: Refined oil: Olives (green, black):

300 gm 5 gm 5 gm 5 gm 10 gm 10 gm 10 gm To taste 20 gm 20 ml 50 gm

METHOD Make a mince of prawns and add all the remaining ingredients to it. Add chopped olives to it and mix it well. Make an even size of round pattice. Cook it on hot tawa till the pattice is done. Serve with mint chutney and laccha onions.

THE APHRODISIACS In addition to prawns and coriander, leeks are a valued aphrodisiac; green ones are believed to make men more virile, while black ones increase women’s sex drive. Onions and coriander add to the mix.

Ricotta Cheese and Fig Tart with Seared Asparagus and Roasted Red Pepper Jam

INGREDIENTS Tart: Fig: Ricotta cheese: Asparagus: Red bell pepper: Leeks: Celery: Garlic: Sugar: Salt: Crush pepper: Olive oil:

One One 50 gm 2 spheres 50 gm 10 gm 10 gm 1 clove 20 gm To taste 5 gm 20 ml

METHOD Sauté leeks and celery with garlic. Mix it with ricotta cheese. Adjust the seasoning and roast red bell pepper on the gas flame. Rinse out the skin and chop it fine. Blanch asparagus, sauté in olive oil and keep it aside. Meanwhile, boil red pepper puree and sugar to make a jam. Fill the tart with cheese mixture. Arrange fig on top with asparagus and seared out bell pepper jam. Garnish with rosemary.

THE APHRODISIACS Garlic and asparagus again for the same reasons mentioned previously. And this time, add leeks, onions and celery to the mix.

040 | APRIL 11

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FOOD

Dum Dum Gucchi INGREDIENTS Gucchi: Smoked cheese: Pine nuts: Red capsicum: Ginger chopped: Chopped Garlic: Green chilli chopped: Hung curd: Salt: Roasted cumin: Chopped coriander: Coriander sprig: Ghee/oil: Saffron:

12 20 gm 10 gm One 10 gm 15 gm 1/2½ tsp 2-3 tsp To taste ¼ tsp ¼ tsp Two 1 tbs Few strands

Fennel: Chives:

20 gm 12 strands

METHOD Cut red capsicum slices vertically, so you can have 12 pieces from one. Wash and pat dry the bunch. Sprinkle a bit of salt, pepper, cumin powder and fennel paste. Leave aside for 10 minutes and grill it over a hot tawa or a hot plate till this gets done, but make sure it is crisp and not over done. Soak gucchi in water for at least 30 minutes, so it retains its original size. Before using it, make sure it is properly washed in running water.

Make the stuffing by mixing smoked cheese, grated (scarmoza preferrably), green chilli chopped, ginger chopped, coriander chopped, salt, hung curd, chopped garlic, roasted cumin powder and saffron. Stuff this gucchi and grill it on tawa. Place the grilled gucchi on top of red capsicum. Garnish with a sprig of coriander, a chive strand and toasted pine nuts.

THE APHRODISIACS Pine Nuts have high levels of protein which are critical to increasing hormone levels and coriander is an appetite stimulant. 041 | APRIL 11

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Dark Temptation Chocolate and Strawberry Mousse INGREDIENTS Dark Chocolate: Strawberries puree: Whipped cream: Egg whites: Sugar castor: Lemon juice: Gelatin sheets:

80 gm 50 gm 40 gm 2 eggs 50 gm 15 ml 10 gm

METHOD Fold in cream to the dark melted chocolate and pureed cream. Whip egg whites with the sugar till stiff peaks. Fold in whites to the cream. Dissolve the gelatin sheets and add to the mixture. Prepare mousse as desired and garnish with strawberry wedges.

THE APHRODISIACS Eating chocolate makes a person feel good as it produces opiates in the brain. It contains phenylethylamine, which is the same hormone, released during sex.

042 | APRIL 11

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Prawn, Avocado and Melon with Ranch Dressings FOOD

INGREDIENTS Medium prawn: Melon scoop: Lettuce Arugula: Avocado: Olive: Caper: For dressing Curd: Crushed peppers: Garlic: Broiled cumin powder: Cinnamon powder: Dill sprig: Olive oil: Salt: Chopped spring onion:

Four Four 50 gm 40 gm Two to four 10 gm 20 gm 10 gm 10 gm 5 gm 5 gm One 30 ml To taste 10 gm

METHOD Make ranch dressing with the help of all the above mentioned ingredients. Mix boiled prawn, lettuce, melon scoop in a bowl. Now pour the dressing on top. Garnish with dill sprig, avocado and some melon scoop. Sprinkle cumin powder on top.

THE APHRODISIACS Avocados deliver a punch of nutrients essential to sexual health, including beta carotene, magnesium and vitamin E, (which is sometimes called the ‘sex vitamin’). It offers 2.4 gm of protein for every 1/2 cup of fruit, an essential ingredient for a successful late night tango. Arugula, also called ‘rocket seed’, enhances potency. Prawns are a valued aphrodisiac like most seafood.

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he tip to a sagging libido is a glass or two of red wine. Somebody mentioned this to Jacob at a Page 3 party. While he didn’t remember much of what everyone said, this tip stuck. There was only one reason to it. His love life was on a free fall and he was in need of a harness. If aphrodisiacs could provide that, he was not going to complain.

Photograph: Dreamstime

Without further ado, he planned an elaborate candle-lit dinner at home, with food supplied from the finest caterer in town. After dinner, it was time to take the night out to the next level. Without further ado, Jacob hit the marble-topped bar counter and poured himself a glass of red wine. And offered another to his girlfriend who was more adept at the art of seduction. She began by letting her eyes feast on the colour of the liquid. She caressed the glass and savoured the taste on her lips. Looking across from her was the love in her life – the red wine had already done its deed on him. It had made ‘him’ stand up to attention. The sight shot up her estrogen levels. She gulped the wine at the sight of it. But the happiness was short-lived. The moment she

044 | APRIL 11

GOOD TO KNOW#47.indd 44

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THE HUB

But what about my wife? “She too can have it. And yes, sweet potato is said to increase the female sex drive. But she has to eat lots of it.”

by Zahid H. Javali

Before I could throw more questions at him, Asghar caught the drift. “You should have fun trying different kinds of aphrodisiacs to see what spices up your sex life,” he said. “Try and have as many aphrodisiacs as you can lay your hands on, because what works for others may not work for you.”



Thankfully, Asghar did not stop at that.

Wand raising tales u Aph rodisiacs for yo

rose to meet him, he was already snoring like a pig. He had overdosed on the elixir and it had the opposite effect on him. On the other hand, my friend Asghar is an aphrodisiac aficionado. Working at a fine-dining restaurant as a master chef had only helped him gain more wisdom on the subject down the years. When I mentioned this case to him, he said: “Your friend should have tried champagne instead. That would have got him into action sooner than he’d expected. The next time you meet his wife, ask her to feed her man five raw oysters. His erection will last longer.” “But what about a teetotaller like me?” I asked. “You can try pineapple. It is a great natural stimulant,” my friend suggested. “Have it with chilli powder. Or best, make a tropical pineapple fruit shake and mix it with honey.”

“The most erotic organ is the brain. If you think something will turn you on more than the others, it surely will. Food and sex are correlated, because they are two of the greatest pleasures known to mankind,” Asghar concluded.

Right, indeed. Aphrodisiacs have their place in the history books. Around 1000 AD, a woman would undress and roll around in wheat that was just harvested. After she was done, the wheat was taken away to be threshed. After milling, the woman used the flour to make her ‘love breads’. Any man eating this bread would immediately desire the woman.

Call it a myth or a case of black magic, aphrodisiacs have come to stay. There’s ginger that is supposed to send blood rushing to your extremities. Similarly, pasta with a light garlicky sauce may lead up to something spicy in the bedroom. Or, better still, add a pineapple spear to a sweet rum drink for a tasty prelude to an evening of passion. If none of these work, try raspberries and strawberries, described in erotic literature as ‘fruit nipples’. Try a strawberry walnut salad to sneak two aphrodisiacs into one wand-raising meal. Sufficiently interested? Here are other aphrodisiacal ways for a wand-erful life…

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How about an aphrodisiac love potion? Yes, UniqueValentineGift.com sells this for $20. Organically designed to have the same effect as Spanish Fly, this elixir of love claims to increase the inner sexual conscience of the mind to achieve various sexual advances. Only 20 drops in any drink is all that is required. Both males and females can expect increased sexual stimulation, propensity towards sexual activity and improved overall mood. Though India is not one of the shipping destinations, you can always ship it to your friend in the US, Australia or Canada, who will in turn ship it back to you. Anything is fair in love and viagra. A heady aroma can be such an aphrodisiac. A rose scent can send women into a tizzy. However, if they are allergic to it, try musk or truffles – the earthy smell works as a natural enhancer. But remember, fragrances that arouse you may not apply to your friends. For some, the smell of air after rainfall alone works as a natural aphrodisiac. Find your aroma (and your partner’s) and make the most of it. Buy sexy lingerie or an outfit you would love to see on her... and wear it yourself. Not just that. Dress it up with high heels, make-up and her favourite hairstyle. For once, she can be the man and you can have an orgasm. Do something she would enjoy that could be out of character for you. Take her on a shopping trip to an adult store. Challenge her to a round of blind dating. Or better still, engage in role playing where you are the boy friend and she’s the shrew you are taming. Gift a custom-made book to her, containing all your letters, e-mails, sms-es until the time you got married. Print them all out and have them bound into a book, with the final page saying that it is NOT the end of your love story, but only the beginning... Keep this book by your bedside. Every time you want to light the fire of passion, pick this up and read it together. There will be a warm glow in your stomach and soon, all over. 045 | APRIL 11

GOOD TO KNOW#47.indd 45

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e

w

I

Wil Julial the r stan n As eal d up sang ? e

Is the worl d’ impeterrible a s most-ta n man rious, del d found lked abou usion er of W t enf w geniu hose tim a a s ana e has l and self ikileaks ant r the w chist h run ou absorb n ellt? O ed ro compngdoingsbent on e r is he a xp anies of and o governmosing rgan e isatio nts, ns? by So ut ik Bis was

WIKILEAKS#47.indd 46

t is difficult to tell, but Assange may well be all this and more, as Inside Wikileaks, a new book by an ex-colleague at Wikileaks shows. Daniel Domscheit-Berg, a German computer scientist, joined WikiLeaks in its early days and quickly became its spokesman and its most public face. As he tells it, the two fell out because of differences over the path-breaking site’s transparency and political neutrality, and Assange’s “dictatorial” ways. Assange left Domscheit-Berg baffled. Much of the book tries to make sense of his former boss, and veers between confusing hagiography and mild hate. He describes Assange as “imaginative, energetic, brilliant, power hungry, megalomaniac”. The lanky 39-year-old Australian is also an egotist, a control freak and socially dysfunctional as many of his fellow hackers. Domscheit-Berg finds him both “unbearable and unbelievably special and lovable”. On the whole, it is an unflattering picture of a man who desperately seeks attention, and possibly believes he is the last man standing against the powers-that-be.

Assange also comes across as an autocrat who suffers no fools. As Domscheit-Berg writes: “The lanky Australian was someone who didn’t let anyone boss him around or stop him from pursuing his work. He was also well-read and had strong opinions about a number of topics. For example, he had a completely different view of the

3/31/2011 12:11:03 PM


THE HUB

hacker community that I held in such regard. He thought they were ‘useless’ idiots. That was typical of him. He was always judging people on their ‘usefulness’. That was typical of him. However he defined the category in a given situation. In his eyes, even particularly gifted hackers were idiots if they didn’t apply their talents towards a larger goal. Even back then I thought that his uncompromising personality and extreme opinions, which he would simply spit out undiplomatically, would put him at odd with a lot of people” Assange has been a polarising figure all right. Christopher Hitchens has written that the Wikileaks founder is like a “cult leader indulging himself with acolytes”. “In his fantasies,” Hitchens wrote in a scathing critique, “he is probably some kind of guerrilla warrior, but in the real world he is a middle man and peddler who resents the civilisation that nurtured him.” But if you believe Domscheit-Berg, Assange is a little more complex. He doesn’t care for money, and has no fixed address. His only worldly possessions is his backpack stashed with two laptops and a bunch of cell-phone chargers. He wears several layers of clothing, even wearing two pairs of trousers at a time, eats with his hands, and wipes his greasy fingers on his pants. A Solzhenitsyn fan, he is paranoid of being kidnapped and kept away in a gulag. He uses encrypted handphones and always loses his way, getting into

wrong trains and buses. Domscheit-Berg is not a very perceptive writer and its shows in his struggling and frail prose. He writes that Assange has a “very free and easy relationship with truth” – a potentially loaded statement to describe a man who runs an operation whose only purpose is to expose uncomfortable truths – and then illustrates it by saying that he is a teller of tall tales. (Assange apparently says that his hair had greyed prematurely because of gamma radiation from a reactor he had built at his home at the age of 14!). Trying to explain Assange’s relationship with women – a significant facet of his personality as he faces serious allegations of sexual abuse in Sweden – Domscheit-Berg is all at sea. “There was no one woman with whom he was preoccupied – he liked the idea of women in general”, he writes with a curious flourish. “He wasn’t interested in legs, breasts, or asses like the stereotypical man. Julian’s attraction to women wasn’t as predictable as it was portrayed in the media. Julian had an eye for details – wrists, shoulders, or necks, for example”. And as DomscheitBerg tries to come to grips with his chameleon-like boss, he writes, “Julian reinvented himself every day, like a hard drive that one kept on reformatting. Reset, reboot. Maybe he didn’t know himself – who he was and where he came from.”

There are some insights into the early days of the WikiLeaks which point to Assange’s sheer cleverness – operating with a single server and a few volunteers for a long time, he claimed the site had several thousand volunteers and assistants, creating an impression of unassailability. In its five years, the site has become the world’s leading whistle-blower, publishing sensitive and incriminating leaks – text and video – which have shook up governments and corporations. But with many of his closest colleagues abandoning him and Domscheit-Berg and a few others setting up a rival site, OpenLeaks, Assange’s reign as the czar of leaks could be soon over. But he keeps springing surprises – even as he battles extradition efforts, he has served up the India Cables to The Hindu – a staggering 5,100 US Embassy and consulate cables relevant to India and stretching to six million words. The opening salvo – a cable suggesting that the Congress party paid bribes to MPs ahead of the 2008 confidence vote – has already rocked an already beleaguered government and party. Assange’s time is clearly not over yet. But his greatest contribution may be of giving a credible platform to the original, grassroots whistleblowers. For that alone, Julian Assange, who loves calling his baby an “insurgent operation”, should be applauded. 047 | APRIL 11

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by Sudha G. Tilak

Billy Arjan Singh: Tiger of Dudhwa By Shaminder Boparai Published by Harper Collins Pages: 200 Price: `799

that Billy was a larger-than-life figure himself, a big man with a generous heart for the tiger and a healthy appetite for life. Shaminder Boparai, a wildlife enthusiast himself, has spent valuable time in Billy’s company in his last years and his dedication through his book is a befitting tribute for wildlife enthusiasts.

A Book of Memory: Confessions and Reflections By Sudhir Kakar Published by Viking/ Penguin Pages: 318 Price: `499

A

With the help of photographs, the biography details Singh’s experiments in rearing leopard and tiger cubs amicably. The photos do add credence to the perception

A Book of Memory is a memoir, an autobiography of Kakar’s life as he looks back on it in his seventies now. It is more an encapsulation and recollection of events, people, family and friends since his childhood, adolescence and his adult life. Kakar recalls his experiences through travel to the West, his fascination as a young man to the freedom of choice and individualism it allowed him and the confines and tradition of family and conformity he grew up in India. He narrates how his engagement with the eroticism of family bonds and Freudian feelings in India and his sexual abandonment in the West contributed to his psyche. Kakar’s autobiography also takes the reader through the times of Partition and the effect it had on his family, the turnpikes of political and social events across the world, be it his time in Harvard when the Vietnam War, the counter-culture revolution, the Civil Rights Movement, the founding of new business empires in India, post Independence and the people associated with institutions like the IIM in Ahmedabad. Kakar is not quite sparing of his own failed first marriage and his broken relationships as well as that of his family that impacted him. The elegant biography by the shrink who narrates how memory and the mind shape much of our living consciousness makes for an interesting read.

mong conservationists, Billy Arjan Singh, who died in his 90s, occupies a unique place. Considered a pioneer, his many experiments have been both daring and singular and is credited for bringing conservation into prominence in India by many experts. He is often called the only conservationist in the world to have hand-reared a tiger cub and returned it to the wild and who had worked on conservation for over sixty years in the country. He has many books on tiger conservation to his credit. His biography is set to coincide with the first death anniversary this year.

Born in the royal family of Kapurthala in Punjab, Singh, the son of Raja Sir Harnam Singh, lived a bachelor all his life and was proud of his family, his darling Tara, Harriet, Juliette and Eelie, the cubs and tigers whom he adopted and shared his home and woods in Palia with and who lay buried in his company near Billy’s final resting place.

on psychology, religion and sexuality and psycho analysis and social mores have attracted attention and induced debates. Kakar has a unique distinction of being a mechanical engineer-turned-Harvard student who at last found his calling in psychology later in life.

The Sly Company of People who Care By Rahul Bhattacharya Published by Picador Pages: 352 Price: `499

S

udhir Kakar is author of a number of fiction and non-fiction including Mystics and Doctors, Shamans, The Indians, Mira and the Mahatma, The Colours of Violence, Intimate Relations and the Crimson Throne. He is also a famous psychoanalyst whose opinions

R

ahul Bhattacharya is better known for his work as a cricket writer with cricinfo.com and author of Pundits from Pakistan, a book again on cricket. As a debutant novelist, Bhattacharya shows his hidden skills as a narrator of musings, ideas, adventure and a restless

048 | APRIL 11

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THE HUB

Mafia Queens of Mumbai

By S. Hussain Zaidi and Jane Borges Published by Tranquebar Press Pages: 308 Price: `250

Rumsfeld to pen his memoirs. The former Pentagon top hat who was the long-time Defence Secretary during President George W Bush’s term has enough ammunition to make his book readable with insights into what makes the most important nation of the world and its leaders work.

search in his Caribbean novel The Sly Company of People Who Care. Cricket does make its appearance in the novel set in Guyana, where Bhattacharya lived for a while. It begins with the protagonist, a 26-year old cricket writer who lands in Guyana, much like the author who arrived in Guyana for a match and was smitten by the place that he spent a year living and taking in the sights, smells and colour of the place. There is “faction”, or facts and fiction slipped in to lend colour to some events and people as the author admits that make this novel fascinating and engaging. The writer befriends Baby, diamond hunter and goes through a journey of adventure, a Caribbean carousal of colonial history, racial politics, the raw and colourful beauty of its forests and rivers that Bhattacharya obviously was affected by to write a novel about. The setting remains a character in the novel as do the crusty people who pass through a land of untamed beauty and with a ravaged colonial history seeking adventures and thrills.

Known and Unknown Donald Rumsfeld Published by Penguin Pages: 815 Price: `999

D

onald Rumsfeld holds the distinction of having served as White House chief of staff and the youngest and oldest man to hold the post as Secretary of Defence twice. And at 78, it seems just the right time for

S

tories of women from the ganglands has a dangerous hint to it. This is exactly what S Hussain Zaidi and Jane Borges have attempted to unravel in their non-fiction, Mafia Queens of Mumbai. While the city is the hotbed of smuggling, gang wars, drugs, gunrunning and terrorism, it’s gang leaders and mafia dons are part of the city’s mean street legends. From Dawood Ibrahim, Karim Lala, Varadaja Mudaliar, these gang lords have been dangerous shadows to the city’s violent secrets, romanticised in movies and a nightmare to law enforcers. However, Mumbai’s best kept dirty secret are the female mafia queens of the city’s underworld. From mean assassins to drug dealers and cold killers, crime reporter Hussain Zaidi tracks the deadly femme fatales of Mumbai who are as deadly as they come in the gritty world of male dons and manage to hold their own from Kamathipura to Dongri. These are their stories – sorry, vengeful, angry, scheming and dangerous, but never lacking in generating interest in how they conducted their hazardous life in a treacherous world of men, guns and played dirty games with the chilling effect. The story of these lady killers is worth biting the bullet.

For one who held a key post, Rumsfeld’s memoir talks about how he worked towards keeping the world a safer place to live in and supports his arguments with the help of documents, including declassified ones. He defends the US attack on Iraq, wars in Afghanistan and Iran, and delves at length on many other issues that arose during his public life, including the much-criticised American interrogation methods. The book is enlivened by witty one-liners: He calls them Rumsfeld Rules and claims he has led his life by them. Married for nearly sixty years to his wife Joyce, the memoir gives an insight into the personal side of his life, his attachment to his farm in Texas, his favourite movie, The Sound of Music, his enjoyment of history and biographies and the military charity work he supports. 049 | APRIL 11

BOOK ENDS#47.indd 49

3/31/2011 12:12:24 PM


by Sanjiv Nair

Haeundae

Krakatoa: Volcano of Destruction

Tángshān Dàdìzhèn

(England) (2006)

(Aftershock) (Hong Kong) (2010)

(Director: Yoon Je-kyoon; Cast: Sol Kyunggu, Ha Ji-won, Lee Min-ki)

(Director: Sam Miller; Cast: Rupert Penry Jones, Olivia Williams and Kevin McMonagle)

(Director: Feng Xiaogang; Cast: Zhang Jingchu, Chen Daoming, Lu Yi)

ne of the highest grossing South Korean flicks of all time, Haeundae is a high-octave, over the top disaster flick with the latter half of the movie strewn with extravagant special effects of tsunami(s), their consequences and their ability to make movie protagonists look even better than they normally do. Director Yoon Je-kyoon, notorious for his seemingly irresistible urge to ‘Korean-ise’ blockbuster Hollywood movies, spends the first hour building the humane platform of the film as characters are introduced and endeared to the audience via scenes with humour, tragedy and typical big-budget schmaltz. This is followed by the ‘metatsunamis’ – the monster tidal waves which wipe out the beaches of Haeundaegu, a prolific beach town built off the city of Busan. The film concludes with the canonising of the heroes who lost their lives in the tragedy along with a trite portrayal of hope which would just as easily blend into a world stricken by tidal waves sent by Roland Emmerich’s team of hack scientists. The film is an enjoyable disaster feature which tends to dwindle a bit, but then refocuses and juggernauts into one giant mother of a splash by the end of it all.. ummm.. we mean the movie.

O

BC’s Krakatoa: Volcano of Destruction is a groundbreaking documentary drama which brilliantly recreates the events that transpired on the fateful day of the volcano’s eruption. Apart from the narrative which unfolds through four eye witnesses, the docu-drama also features an interesting and a fairly simplified explanation of the Krakatoa phenomenon with the volcano still very much active and a constant threat to the islands of Java and Sumatra. Shot as a fast paced thriller, the film will have you riveted for its complete duration with its special effects, performances and production which could just as comfortably have been a part of a summer Hollywood disaster blockbuster. And the near genocidal power of the volcano is sure to shock and awe the viewer in equal measure. Here is a sampling: The volcanic explosion of Krakatoa in 1883 is considered to be the loudest sound ever heard in modern history, with its reverberations picked up nearly 5000 kilometres away. To put things in perspective, that’s like suddenly hearing an explosion in Iran, while enjoying the view of the sea in Kanyakumari. It would therefore be a travesty, to say the least, to never have ‘heard’ of Krakatoa.

B

B

M Quotient: Still having a 2012 hangover?

M Quotient: That nag of

(Tidal Wave) (South Korea) (2009)

Have some lime and watch this.

ased on events surrounding the 1976 earthquake in Tangshan, China, Aftershock is a poignant human drama in the guise of a disaster film. The movie begins amidst the calamitous earthquake. With its gargantuan destructive power, it demolishes buildings to debris and destroys life and property with no distinction, and extreme prejudice. Amidst the chaos, the film focuses on the soul-numbing choice which a mother needs to make to save her children who are buried in the rubble: A choice between her son and her daughter. Only one be saved and it will have to be at the expense of the other. The mother’s choice and the ramifications of her choice on the family is what the film chronicles.

Aftershock’s poignant theme is deftly handled by director Feng Xiaogang as he portrays the trauma suffered by the family without ever relenting on the larger-than-life canvas of a big budget disaster film. The film, apart from being the official Chinese entry for the 83rd Academy Awards, was also one of the most successful IMAX film made outside of the US.

M Quotient: Once in a while, we do watch a good movie, because it is just that. A good movie.

‘guys only love mindless action shows’ getting to you? Well, this one’s a bloody informative show… with explosions and special effects galore.

050 | APRIL 11

FILM FLICKS#47.indd 50

3/31/2011 12:16:46 PM


Denmark) (1987)

(Happy End) (France) (2009)

Nihon Igai Zenbu Chinbotsu

(Director: Lars Von Trier; Cast: Lars Von Trier and Niels Vorsel)

(Director: Arnaud and Jean-Marie Larrieu; Cast: Mathieu Amalric, Catherine Frot an Omahyra Mota)

(Director: Minoru Kawasaki; Cast: Kenji Kohashi, Shuuji Kashiwabara, Masatoshi Matsuo)

E

A

D

Epidemic

asily the most bizarre film on this list, Lars Von Trier’s Epidemic is a disaster flick about an unknown virus which spreads in the form of a mass contagion. The film made in Von Trier’s avant garde style is a part of his celebrated Europa trilogy and chronicles five days in the life of the screenwriters – Von Trier himself and Niels Vorsel. Two parallel storylines are interspersed and woven seamlessly into Epidemic as it deconstructs the tale of the two screenplay writers and their story. The first depicts them conceptualising a screenplay for a movie about an Epidemic and how over a period of five days, some of their story’s elements begin to manifest themselves in real life. The second is their screenplay itself which is about a renegade doctor who, against the advice of the medical fraternity, risks his life for the treatment of a village whose inhabitants are suffering from a mysterious illness which has begun to spread rapidly. Both stories also feature contrasting filmmaking styles, with the former having the feel of a shadowy documentary, while the latter stands out with its lush photography coupled with breathtaking locations. Horrifying, eerie and bold, the filmmaking style typifies Von Trier in many ways and its traces linger long after viewing the film in a manner best described in his own words – ‘… like a pebble in your shoe.’

M Quotient:

Cats love licking themselves, dogs bark at moving vehicles. Guys love getting mindf***ed. Nobody knows why. We just do.

neo apocalyptic film directed by the uber-talented Larrieu brothers, starring the enigmatic Mathieu Amalric and the devastatingly sexy Omahyra Mota is enough information for Les Derniers to be considered a must watch. The fact that it is a pretty good film serves well to compliment the consideration even further. This is a disaster film unlike any other, where the disaster itself is a mere catalyst for the extraordinary surroundings of the film. In principal, the film utilises the global crisis to create emotional situations which people might never suffer otherwise. With the world about to end, the film’s protagonist, the aptly named Robinson, feverishly hunts down the alluring, everlasting fantasy of his life, Laetitia. The film traces Robinson’s hunt, from the stylish Biarritz, through Pamplona and Toulouse to the futuristic bright lights of Taipei to its final surreal conclusion in a desolate Paris. The Larrieu brothers effectively question mortality and its nomenclatures and the honesty of love and relationships, as the world around Robinson begins to implode in nomadic anarchy and lustful indulgences ignoring all the stereotypes which civilization had ever associated with itself. Powerful performances, dreamy cinematography and the surreal nature of the film make it a great adaptation to Dominique Noguez’s novel of the same name.

M Quotient: Omahyra Mota is nude..

(Everything Other than Japan Sinks) (Japan)

THE HUB

Les Derniers Jours du Monde

ue to Japan’s precarious positioning on the tectonic plates, tsunami and earthquake paranoia is a reality the nation has had to live with for a long time. This paranoia has often been perpetuated by Japanese cinema and probably Nihon Chinbotsu (Japan Sinks), a novel which was later adapted into two different cinematic versions, captures this sense of fear and its political implications most effectively. Nihon Igai Zenbu Chinbotsu, on the contrary, is an outrageous B-grade, low-budget satire of the book and the movie, and is based on a scenario in which the entire world except for Japan sinks. Survivors of the worldwide tragedy then make their way to an already overcrowded Japan whose citizens suddenly find themselves adjusting to their uninvited guests and revelling in the sudden power which they enjoy over them. With a painfully low budget, something which will be very hard to not notice, Nihon Igai.. uses stereotypes, xenophobia, emotional incumbency and brilliant slapstick humour effectively along with hilarious parodies on popular international figures. Absolute lack of heroism and melodrama ensures the movie remains politically incorrect and maybe closer to reality than we might give it credit for.

M Quotient: B-grade slapstick humour,

really bad.. and we mean terrible, downright atrocious special effects and crap acting. We are a weird lot.

completely. Oh and Omahyra Mota is not wearing any clothes… like none. And of course Omahyra Mota…. you get the drift.

051 | APRIL 11

FILM FLICKS#47.indd 51

3/31/2011 12:16:49 PM


by Bijoy Venugopal

NOW PLAYING

Norah Jones sang that? Norah Jones ...Featuring Blue Note Records, 2010 `350

compilation presents a goulash of collaborations – some famous, others obscure – that Norah Jones has enjoyed with musical creatures great and small. Since this album comes to us from Blue Note, there are the obligatory high-fives with heavy-hitters in blues and jazz (and the uncertain territory in between), among them Herbie Hancock (the Joni Mitchell cover “Court & Spark”), Willie Nelson (a sterile take on “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” that was nominated for a Grammy in 2010) and the dear departed Ray Charles (who was unlatching death’s door when he sang “Here We Go Again” with Jones).

A

t 31, Norah Jones is no-questionsasked sublime. Ten Grammys (and seven nominations) make her a formidable presence commercially. Also critically – even that curmudgeon Robert Christgau acquiesced: “What’s not to like?” Her versatility makes her a coveted collaborator to artists, genre no bar. And so, as we listened to album after album that Norah Jones has served up since her not-quite-jazz-but-getting-there-in-a-hurry début Come Away With Me, which swept eight Grammys in 2003, we may have overlooked her off-road excursions. ...Featuring fixes that jig-saw bit back in place. This immaculately conceived

There is a nostalgic footnote for one of Jones’ earliest (and admittedly favourite) bands, The Little Willies – a cover of Elvis’ “Love Me”. There’s “The Best Part” from her off-moments with her goof-rock outfit El Madmo. There’s also a pick-me-up for her touring accompanist, singer-songwriter Sasha Dobson, in “Bull Rider”. There are forays into old-school country with Dolly Parton (“Creepin’ In”) that may leave Taylor Swift gasping. And a slippery go at “Blue Bayou” with singer-songwriter M Ward that will trouble the ghost of Roy Orbison. “Dear John” with country singer Ryan Adams (from his 2005 album Jacksonville City Nights) is about a widow’s lament to her dead husband and is poignant in a quirky

REWIND

The Collectible Piano-maniac The Essential Billy Joel Sony Music `499

B

illy Joel once spat, “Have you listened to the radio lately? Have you heard the canned, frozen and processed product being dished up to the world as American popular music today?” Today he might as well clench his fists and ask, “Have you listened to Justin Bieber?” When he was Bieber’s age, William Martin Joel boxed welterweight and broke his nose

way. There are nods to indie inventiveness in her work with Glaswegian art-pop group Belle and Sebastian (“Little Lou, Prophet Jack, Ugly John”). But the 18-track list also forays into areas where we least expect Jones to go – and still come away redeemed. With critically acclaimed hip-hop artist Q-tip, she performs “Life is Better”, an unexpectedly gorgeous duet in which she sounds barefoot and ebullient. There is the lifting “Take Off Your Cool” with Outkast, arguably America’s most innovative hip-hop act. She complements cheerfully the wheezy huskiness of MC Talib Qweli on “Soon the New Day”. ...Featuring is a cleverly arranged compilation with the singalong country bits at the top of the list, the hip-hop tracks scattered in the middle, and tapers out to more jazz, soul and country at the end. It’s a sizeable playlist, with the odd crushingly unwholesome track thrown in. Willie Nelson is disappointingly sterile on “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” and doesn’t hold a dead wick to the raunchiness that Ray Charles personified in his unforgettable 1961 recording with Betty Carter. That said, Norah Jones shines bright through most of it, with a voice that makes duets droolable.

in a bout. Though he started taking piano lessons at five, Joel pursued a full-time career in music only after watching The Beatles on the Ed Sullivan Show in 1964. The next year, aged 16, he began recording. With the Long Island band The Hassles, the boy from the Bronx cut two commercially doomed albums. In 1970 he formed Attila, an organ-and-drums rock outfit with Hassles drummer Jon Small and, through a creatively trying time where he carried on with Small’s wife Elizabeth Weber (whom he later married), recorded an album that sank on impact. There was only so much battering even a young pugilist from a broken home could

052 | APRIL 11

SOUND CHECK#47.indd 52

3/31/2011 12:18:31 PM


JUKEBOX

PAUSE

Roots and the guitar man The Road to Escondido JJ Cale and Eric Clapton Reprise, 2006 `395 undone an aspiring musician’s career but Cale plodded on at a pace he thought comfortable. Every few years he would string up and clear his throat, recording with whoever was available – among them accomplished studio musicians like Steve Winwood and Leon Russell. Critics, branding him a one-trick pony, left him alone. But artists didn’t.

M

Lynyrd Skynyrd (“Call Me the Breeze”), Kansas (“Bringing It Back”), Widespread Panic (“Ride Me High”) and Beck (“Magnolia”) covered Cale, but it was an inspired (and adoring) Eric Clapton who sang his name out loud. Out on a solo blitzkrieg after star turns with The Yardbirds, John Mayall’s Bluesbreakers, Cream and Blind Faith, Clapton took Cale’s best-known song “After Midnight” and catapulted it into the big-time. He did likewise with “Cocaine” (which many Clapton loyalists mistake for his creation) by making it the cynosure of his acclaimed 1978 album Slowhand.

Ordinarily, such defiance would have

Though royalties from songs made famous by other artists kept Cale comfortable, it was not until 2006, 36 years after Clapton essayed a hit with “After Midnight”, that he and Cale finally collaborated on an albumlength duet. The Road to Escondido, named for a small town in California, showcased their remarkable chemistry and enjoyed something of a symbiotic success – it

usicians make hit songs that peak on the charts, but J J Cale was content with a peek. In 1972, his single “Crazy Mama” made the US Top 40. Another, “After Midnight”, nearly made the Top 20. John Weldon Cale (unrelated to John Cale of The Velvet Underground) chose to chart his own course. Never one to be dictated to, he refused to be led by the genre factory that was the American recording industry, and adhered to a laidback, rootsy style that since came to be known as the Tulsa Sound.

take. Joel bailed out of music, did time as critic, and swilled a bottle of furniture polish to end his life. When that didn’t succeed, he checked into a psychiatric facility. Returning in 1971, he recorded Cold Spring Harbor with songs like “She’s Got a Way”, “Everybody Loves You Now” and “Tomorrow is Today” (based on his suicide note). Moving to Los Angeles, he performed under the alias Bill Martin. After a radio station aired a concert recording of the soaring anti-heroin anthem “Captain Jack”, Columbia Records came knocking with a contract. In 1973, he recorded Piano Man, which has since sold platinum four times over. Streetlife Serenade (1974) spawned lukewarm hits including the eponymous

title song, “The Entertainer” and “Los Angelenos”. Turnstiles (1976) is famous for “Say Goodbye to Hollywood” and the enduring “New York State of Mind” – the former a middle-finger salute to “sensitive singer-songwriters” who lorded over the California scene and the latter a homecoming anthem (and hat-doff to Frank Sinatra and Quincy Jones). Its popularity set the stage for the sensational stardom that was to follow with the made-for-radio The Stranger (1977), which produced “Just the Way You Are”, “Only the Good Die Young” and the tenderly misogynistic (and cloyingly overplayed) “Always a Woman”. His next, 52nd Street (1978), topped the charts for weeks and

enabled Clapton to repay his musical debt to Cale, while allowing the senior musician a generous swipe at mainstream celebrity. Cale wrote 11 of the 18 tracks and threw in the familiar comfort of his backing band. Clapton’s clout packed the studio with talents young and old, among them bluesman Taj Mahal (on harmonica), guitarists Derek Trucks and John Mayer, drummer Steve Jordan and bass player Pino Palladino. The larger-than-life keyboard accompanist Billy Preston, who had blazed a phenomenal career performing with the Beatles and the Rolling Stones among innumerable others, spent some of his last studio sessions on Escondido (released after his death, the album is dedicated to his memory). Guitar enthusiasts will treasure Escondido, which won a Grammy for Best Contemporary Blues Album in 2008, as a sumptuous, tremendously collectible album (though perhaps a touch too polished for those who might expect the rustic coarseness of roots music). Originally intended as a Clapton catalogue with a touch of Cale magic, Escondido grew wings of its own. In songs such as “Danger”, “Missing Person” and “Ride the River”, Clapton and Cale’s presences are so intensely intertwined that it’s hard to tell them apart.

yielded big hits in “Honesty”, “Big Shot” and “My Life”. Life has since been kind to Billy Joel despite commercial duds, cauterizing criticism and more marriages and divorces. The Essential Billy Joel comprises two CDs at a sweet price. The first is a tight selection though it could have included a track or two from Streetlife Serenade. Disc 2 runs aground midway, the playlist sagging under Joel’s disco-drenched latter-day bombast and his classical pretensions. But if you’re looking for the hits – they’re all there, including the pop staples “We Didn’t Start the Fire” and “River of Dreams”. Could be something of an education for the talented Mr Bieber before his voice cracks. 053 | APRIL 11

SOUND CHECK#47.indd 53

3/31/2011 12:18:33 PM


A special series of essays

MUSIC by Taufiq Qureshi Percussionist

Ace percussionist Taufiq Qureshi’s claim to fame goes much beyond his impressive family tree (he is the son of the legendary Ustad Alla Rakha and younger brother of Ustad Zakir Hussain). Renowned for his mastery over the art of rhythm, he has developed a unique method that adapts the tabla syllable for performances on the djembe and other single drums.

054 | APRIL 11

INDIA 2020#47.indd 54

3/31/2011 12:20:10 PM


M

y vision of India over the next decade is that of progress. And if the level of corruption was to plunge, even a little, there would be no stopping us. Talking of music, I think with more young blood interested in the Indian classical music now, it will never die in our country.

Yes, I do feel that 10 years from now the duration of music concerts or performances might reduce even further. I remember during my childhood, an artiste would perform for three hours during a classical music concert. But now, in a three-hour programme, we get to see three artistes! Earlier, if there were three singers performing, they would sing for three hours each and the concert would end at five in the morning. Nowadays, people don’t have the patience to sit for a long performance from a single artiste. The order of the day is a package deal – thoda sa yeh sun liya, thoda sa woh sun liya – they want the feel of Indian classical in an hour. In the coming days, the attention span may reduce further. A lot of musicians will also be drawn to percussion instruments in the future. For instance, I have been intensively working on djembe, an instrument of African origin. I teach a lot of students to play the djembe. For the uninitiated, the difference between drums and percussions is that drums are played with sticks, while percussions are played with hands. I have a self-designed drum kit – a snare, a djembe, cymbals, marching bells, handbells, etc. Sivamani and I were always into percussions; earlier Ranjit Barot was the only drummer who was also fascinated by percussions. Of late, a lot of drummers are getting into percussions.

inspired by my first album, which drew a lot of appreciation. At present, filmi music is the most saleable form of music in our country. Classical music has been a part of film music and will continue to be, even a decade later. The song ‘Aami ja tomar’ from the 2007 release Bhool Bhulaiyaa has a dance piece in the end, which was designed by me – and the whole rhythm section is classical. When I went for the song, Pritam said ‘Taufiq Bhai, this is your game’. The title track of Dhoom 2 has my band ‘Mumbai Stamp’ playing the trash percussions and the end result is groovy. Bollywood music gets a lot of exposure; in the years to come if other forms of music get the same kind of publicity and mileage, they will become equally famous. Somethings will remain the same – I don’t foresee a change in the way the instruments are made – they are being made in the same way for the last seventy years. And no matter what else changes, the concept of classical music will not. Artistes will begin with aalap (slow section) move to jor (mid tempo) and culminate their piece with jhalap (the fast section). Even while exploring a new raag, we will have to stick to these sections. The North India raags are time based – for instance, morning raag, evening raag – whereas in South India, the raags can be played anytime of the day. This system will be followed in the years to come, too.

Somethings will remain the same. No matter what else changes, the concept of classical music will not. Artistes will begin with aalap, move to jor and finish their piece with jhalap.

Lack of patience among listeners has also meant the rise of fusion music. Our roots are classical, and we fuse it with jazz or hip hop. For instance, one would take Raag Yaman for the aalap and then bring in the drums. The melody would be the raag. Classical music is ‘Aalap-Jor-Jhalap’ whereas in fusion you would skip aalap and go straight to jhalap. So, I believe it is the packaging of music, which will be of utmost importance in the coming years. I’m trying to define tabla via the djembe – it’s an unusual form of fusion music. I want to bring djembe and tabla as close as possible. Soon, I will further explore the djembe. Zakir Bhai calls it Tabl (djembe). I want to open a school for learning percussion instruments; I already teach at a dance school called Arts in Motion. My space is called Rhydhum Academy Of World Rhythm. The name is

And no, synthesizers will not replace live music and instruments. I use synthesizers, too, but if you have a musician in front of you, you can explore the instrument, the singing or the percussion. You can ask the musician to pitch the note higher or lower or change the order, etc.

No doubt synthesizers can create fantastic sounds, but there are instruments like the sarod, sitar and sarangi, which are very difficult to reproduce on the machine. After doing the basic programming, for certain orchestration portion in songs like Zor ka jhatka and Chhan ke mohalla (Action Replayy) they got a player to perform live. Shankar-Ehsaan-Loy, too, do a lot of live orchestration. In Tashan, Vishal Shekhar had live guitars. “The Internet will prove to be a boon in creating awareness about musical talents. A lot of people are getting a platform for their talents and this trend will gain momentum in the years to come. I hope in the future people become aware and pay for original music rather than pirate it.” (As told to Jigar Shah, Bollywood News Service)

055 | APRIL 11

INDIA 2020#47.indd 55

3/31/2011 12:20:12 PM


I’VE GOT ONE MORE LEFT IN ME

Says renowned road and F1 car designer, Prof. Gordon Murray. The iconic creator of the McLaren F1 shares his thoughts on his “baby”, the i-Stream technology he is currently working on, Formula 1, and the sports car industry with Ishan Raghava

How do you look at the future of sports cars in view of the current trend of ever-increasing kerb weights? I would like to see a reversal in the weight increase. It’s not just sports cars. Every new car these days just seems to get bigger and heavier. It is almost like a disease. Weight is the biggest enemy a car designer must keep in mind before getting down to anything else. If you are able to cut it down by 20%, it translates into much better overall efficiency. I say it is a much better option to work on weight first rather than spending hundreds of millions of dollars on making an internal combustion engine 2% better. That’s exactly what we’re selling with our i-Stream technology. Don’t wait for 15 years – reduce the weight of the cars now to achieve better efficiency. Do you see more modern, lightweight materials like carbonfibre catching on in series production? Carbonfibre has got a few problems. For one, the raw material cost is very high and it will remain thus for a long time in the foreseeable future. Secondly, the processing time for manufacturing such parts is very

long. It is therefore not feasible for mass production. Carbonfibre cannot take point loads. Integrating it for something like, say a suspension mounting point, is very time consuming since it requires a lot of effort to modify it to take those load. I assume it will catch up very slowly, but that too only for high-cost products to begin with. How is your city car project, aka T.25/T.27, coming along? They’re doing well. The T.25 wasn’t really a car for sale. It was meant to be a demonstrator for i-Stream since our original investors wanted to showcase the technology. That’s how the T.25 was born. The T.27 is a little different. It was funded partly by the UK government and we had committed to find a manufacturer to build the T.27 for series production. We are currently negotiating with multiple manufacturers who are interested in it. I hope that even the T.25 will be produced some time in the near future. What are your thoughts on the current lot of the supercars such as the Pagani Zonda/Huayra, Bugatti Veyron, Koenigsegg etc.

056 | APRIL 11

PROF GORDON MURRAY#47.indd 56

3/31/2011 12:21:55 PM


FEATURES 057 | APRIL 11

PROF GORDON MURRAY#47.indd 57

3/31/2011 12:22:02 PM


How would you compare them to your masterpiece, the McLaren F1, arguably the finest sportscar ever made? They’re all simply getting heavier and more complicated. I’ve driven the Veyron both on road and a race track, and, to be honest, I don’t really think it is a sports car... you have difficulty looking out of it, you cannot drive it fast etc... As a feat of engineering, indeed it’s a massive achievement. But for me it’s not a sports car. The Pagani, on the other hand, is the best of all the new cars in its segment. It is quite light. I would still like to see them a bit smaller, but they’ve done the best job in the segment. I have issues with its styling though: It’s a bit bling. If you build a classic super car, you need not try too hard styling it. When I built the F1, I didn’t want any big wings, loud ducts or any such elements. Two decades later, it still looks good. Now look at the Lamborghini Countach, for instance. With its big wings and square lines etc, it clearly is a ’70s supercar. But it is not a timeless design. And the current hybrid/electric car technologies? Do you think hybrids or electrics are the future or is it Hydrogen Fuel Cells? You see, once they figure out a way to manufacture Hydrogen efficiently and cost effectively (since currently it requires much more energy to produce an amount of Hydrogen then what is required to make a similar amount of petrol), Fuel cells are the way to go. As for hybrids/electrics, the biggest hurdle is the battery technology. The current technology simply does not

Earlier, Formula 1 was a technical formula that just happened to be very good entertainment and very glamorous. Everything about it was entertaining; the cars looked different and made different noises, the drivers were charismatic and each of them had their own style. It was entertainment but it was still a sport that was exciting, fast and glamorous. Now I don’t think it knows where it wants to be. I don’t think anyone knows what it should be actually. It is sad, and shameful, given the history of the sport. How would you rate McLaren’s latest super car, the MP4-12C? I haven’t driven one yet. But I have seen it around and am confident that it will be a technically superior car since they have spent close to six years and lot of money on it. When you spend that kind of money and time on a car, it has to be right. However, whether it is able to pull an emotional string in you is a completely different story. See, the problem is that nobody in the world can justify buying a `1.2Cr sports car as anything other than an emotional buy. If you are looking for a reliable transport for two people, you can buy lots of cars for 1/10th that amount and all of them will do the job fairly well. But a sports car is a very emotive, passionate buy and people buy them because they are lovely things. We’ll have to wait and watch especially since the MP412C doesn’t do anything visually for me. It has its task

I DON’T THINK FORMULA 1 BOSSES KNOW WHAT THEY REALLY WANT TO MAKE OF IT: BUSINESS, TECHNICAL OR EVEN PURE ENTERTAINMENT. IT HAS LOST ITS WAY. EARLIER, IT WAS A TECHNICAL FORMULA THAT JUST HAPPENED TO BE VERY GOOD ENTERTAINMENT AND GLAMOROUS. deliver enough in performance and range to match a fossil-fuel powered car. Battery technology, therefore, needs to move to second- or third-generation batteries for simplicity of use and range to make the traditional car buyer move away from their conventional cars. Currently, batteries are so expensive (at times costing up to 50% of the cost of the car). They also add so much weight to the car that it makes no sense at all to use them apart from in a small niche of specialised vehicles designed for in-city use. I feel that unless the battery technology moves on, it will not be a viable proposition for high-volume production.

cut out. Personally, I don’t like Turbocharged engines very much especially since I miss the instant response of a naturally aspirated engine. Let’s see how it plays out for the car. Any chances of a successor to your masterpiece? I think I’ve got one more super car left in me. We have the technical capability since I still have the same team of 27 top people who designed the F1 at McLaren. So as soon we have our i-Stream project up and running, and the financial forecasts are favourable, we’ll probably look at doing a super car under our band. I am sure it will be fun.

The McLaren F1 didn’t have any safety aids or active systems. Have you changed your mind in the face of progress in technology? For normal drivers, driving regular cars, active and passive safety systems have done a lot to save lives and injuries with anti-lock braking, stability etc. But I still hate them on a sports car. I think it interferes with the feedback and control for an experienced driver. So if I can’t switch them off in a dedicated sports cars, it irritates me a lot.

It’ll be a car much more affordable than the F1 but it’ll still be a low-volume, limited-production car customised to the customer’s preferences. If you recall, we were the first people to custom-build a car for every customer and that made them feel like the king of world when they came and ordered the car. It worked beautifully for us with the F1 and we intend to use that strategy again with our own supercar.

What do you think of Formula 1 in its current form and the upcoming Indian GP? It is very interesting, but to be honest, I am no longer a regular follower of Formula 1. Instead, I prefer MotoGP. I don’t think Formula 1 bosses know what they really want to make of it: business, technical or even pure entertainment. It has lost its way a little bit.

You were a judge at the just-concluded Cartier “Travel With Style” Concours DElegance 2011 in Delhi. Any car that caught your attention? If I could take one car home, it definitely has to be the little Fiat 1100 Millecento. The funny thing is that when I tell people that the Fiat is my personal favourite at the show, nobody believes me.

058 | APRIL 11

PROF GORDON MURRAY#47.indd 58

3/31/2011 12:22:06 PM


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lives of the rich and famous weren’t always B E F O R E Theall glamour and glitter. It’s hard to imagine now, but once upon a time, before they became household names, even Hollywood favourites like T H E Y W E R E Robert de Niro, Al Pacino, Jack Nicholson, Robert Redford, Nicole Kidman and Winona Ryder were F A M O U S once nobodies with stars in their eyes. Using by Glenn A. Baker / TCS Photographs from the Glenn A. Baker Archive / TCS

early photo material, this is a unique glimpse of today’s stars before they entered the limelight as we trace their careers from their first flutters with fame to their triumphant transformation into fully-fledged VIPs. When it comes to showbiz, there are as many true ‘overnight sensations’ as there are full eclipses of the moon. The teary-eyed ‘newcomer’ called upon to accept a Best New Talent award at a glittering ceremony has invariably been plugging away in obscurity for a decade or more, developing and honing a raw talent. No matter how sensational or stylish the star, there is always a humble beginning; a time when the now-familiar persona was still in an embryonic phase of their career. No one arrives in the public forum fully formed. They hang around the edges and observe carefully, then tentatively try out a few areas until they find one that feels comfortable. Sometimes, these brief cul-de-sacs are totally at odds with what eventually brings them fame and fortune. In other cases, there is a steady and logical upward progression. Whatever the situation, most stars cringe visibly when remnants of their humble beginnings are exhumed. Feast your eyes on the faces of your favourite stars before they had seen their starstudded dreams materialise.

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FEATURES TOM CRUISE The second half of the 1980s belonged to Tom Cruise. Audiences reacted so powerfully to his aerial stunts and raffish Ray-Bans that 1985’s Top Gun, really not much more than a slick US Navy recruitment video, grabbed one of the biggest box office grosses of the decade. After Cocktail, Rain Man, Born On The Fourth of July and Days Of Thunder, he was being showered with The Sexiest Man Alive awards. Before Top Gun, it was five years of steady climb for Thomas Cruise Mapother IV, beginning in 1981 with a minor moment in the fairly awful Endless Love and a stronger support role in Taps (pictured here) which also marked the debut of a promising newcomer called Sean Penn.

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MICHAEL CAINE Sir Maurice Micklewhite, the cockney son of fish market porter and a char lady, left school at 15 to work at a meat market by day and take acting lessons by night. He took his name from the West End play The Caine Mutiny Court Martial and spent ten years grabbing any film role he could (A Hill In Korea, The Day The Earth Caught Fire, Zulu, The Ipcress File) before an Oscar nomination and international recognition came his way with the success of Alfie in 1966. Sharp and intuitive with a flair for comedy and out-of-thesquare good looks, Caine took on diverse projects and worked hard in every one of them. Espionage has raised its head often, from his trio of Harry Palmer spy thrillers, to The Holcroft Covenent to his most recent Oscar contender, The Quiet American.

DUSTIN HOFFMAN Any serious actor who can play the evil Captain Hook, a 121-year-old man, drugged-up comedian Lenny Bruce, and a wily autistic can be fairly said to be versatile. But even Dustin Hoffman devotees draw a mystified breath when confronted by the curly-headed, folk-singing star of 1971’s Who Is Harry Kellerman And Why Is He Saying Those Terrible Things About Me? – a reasonable film sunk by its absurd title. After scratching a living as an actor for eight years before his breakthrough screen role in 1967’s The Graduate (pictured here), he was probably not inclined to turn down any work! 062 | APRIL 11

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FEATURES

SUSAN SARANDON

TOM HANKS

If Susan Sarandon was able to capture so expertly a sense of time and place in The Banger Sisters, it may be because by the time she was portraying a bedraggled and confused Janet in The Rocky Horror Picture Show in 1975 (pictured here) she had already been making films for half a decade, having commenced with Joe in 1970. By the end of the ’70s, she had left an indelible mark as an elegant whore in the controversial Pretty Baby. The roles haven’t stopped since.

Today he might have the mature, comforting screen presence of a Gary Cooper or Jack Lemmon, but Tom Hanks was as gangly and as geeky as any other hopeful teen tryer when he stumbled into his first films. A California kid raised by a near-itinerant father, Hanks was a new husband and father scratching out a living as an aspiring actor in New York when he picked up $800 for a role in the cheap (but successful) 1979 slasher film He Knows You’re Not Alone. Back in LA he stayed alive with a slew of TV spots – Bosom Buddies, Taxi, Family Ties and the telemovie Mazes And Monsters. There was one more wild role before Splash made him a superstar in 1984 and that was the 1983 bad buck’s night tale, Bachelor Party. He doesn’t seem to talk about this much in career retrospectives. Can’t imagine why!

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AL PACINO

GOLDIE HAWN

From roughly the same neighbourhoods as Keitel and DeNiro, Pacino rose to fame at the same time in some of the same films (notably the three Godfather epics). He debuted as a gigolo in 1969’s Me, Natalie but had to wait two more years for another role – the lead of Bobby the junkie dealer in Panic In Needle Park (pictured here). From 1974 he embarked upon a string of powerful and memorable leads – Serpico, Dog Day Afternoon, Bobby Deerfield, Scarface, Frankie and Johnny, Glengarry Glen Ross, Scent Of A Woman, City Hall, Donnie Brasco and Insomnia. Though now in his 60s, he remains one of Hollywood’s most bankable stars.

Goldie Hawn, Susan Sarandon’s fellow Banger Sister, also knows the psychedelic era well and her career actually goes even further back into the 60s. Goldie Jean Studlendgehawn had danced on TV’s The Andy Griffith Show and been a cast member of the 1967 comedy series Good Morning World before becoming a global star the following year as the saucer-eyed, giggling, dizzy blonde on Laugh In (pictured here). Kooky film roles followed, the likes of The One And Only Genuine Original Family Band, Cactus Flower and There’s A Girl In My Soup. A Best Supporting Actress Oscar nomination for Cactus Flower gave hint of her dramatic talents, something recognised in 1973 by Steven Spielberg, who cast her in The Sugarland Express.

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FEATURES

MARTIN SHEEN

JIM CARREY

He may look extremely presidential in television’s The West Wing but Martin Sheen (born Ramon Estevez, the seventh of ten children) was an uncertain wide-eyed innocent in his second film, 1968’s The Subject Was Roses, in which he portrayed the role of Timmy (pictured here). By that point in his career, he was a familiar TV face, having made his debut in East Side, West Side in 1963. He was seen in the film Catch 22 in 1970 but it was the affronting Badlands three years later that made Martin a dramatic force to contend with. Apocalypse Now made him a star. It should be said that playing presidents is nothing new for Sheen; in 1983, he was an extremely convincing JFK in the TV mini-series Kennedy.

The manic Mr. Carrey seemed to shoot from low-billed supports to $20 million dollar pay packet leads in a breath or two. In fact, there was a solid decade and ten films between his 1983 debut with The Sex & Violence Family Hour and Club Med and the blitzing triumvirate of Ace Ventura Pet Detective, The Mask and Dumb and Dumber. It was a time of ‘suck it and see’ performances, such as the one opposite Lauren Hutton in the 1985 comedy vampire film Once Bitten. (Though ‘twice shy’ are not words one would readily apply to crazy Carrey!)

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ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER The transformation of the weedy Austrian boy into The Terminator would be the stuff of dismissible fiction... if it hadn’t actually happened. The son of a police chief who grew up without basic amenities, young Arnold so embraced the American dream from afar that he decided to become a perfect physical specimen. His bodybuilding path grabbed him seven Mr. Olympia and five Mr. Universe titles and, in 1969, a film debut in Hercules In New York. Initially, it was a long time between roles but between TV talk show rounds, he did manage to pop up again in The Long Goodbye in 1973. His first worthwhile role came in Bob Rafelson’s sharp 1976 comedy drama Stay Hungry (pictured here), where he appeared alongside Jeff Bridges and Sally Field, but it wasn’t until 1982 that his portrayal of Conan The Barbarian ensured that his mouthful of a name (which he steadfastly refused to change) really did roll off the tongue. 066 | APRIL 11

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MICHELLE PFEIFFER Michelle Pfeiffer, as one critic has put it, “is capable of playing the guttersnipe or exuding a quality of genuine warmth”. There wasn’t much of either for this former supermarket checkout girl and Miss Orange County pageant winner when she came on for one speaking line in an episode of TV’s Fantasy Island, and not much variety or scope as she worked her way through the handful of films that led to her breakthrough role as Elvira, the gangster’s moll-cum-wife opposite Al Pacino in 1983’s Scarface. One of these early roles came in the 1981, in Charlie Chan and the Curse Of The Dragon Queen, in which she portrayed Cordelia, a dazed fiancé (pictured here). One year later, she starred in the rarely-seen Grease 2 (1982), where she played Stephanie, one half (with Maxwell Caulfield) of the hottest campus romance at Rydell High.

ROBERT DeNIRO

WYNONA RYDER

Harvey Keitel wasn’t the only ‘great actor of his generation’ to come to notice in Martin Scorsese’s Mean Streets in 1973 and Taxi Driver in 1976. Just as startling in his method approach was fellow New Yorker Robert DeNiro from Little Italy, who decided to become an actor at age 16 and pursued it with single-minded determination. DeNiro’s screen debut came in the Brain DePalma film The Wedding Party shot in 1964 but not released until five years later. By that time he had already been seen in Greetings and Bloody Mama. Throughout the ’70s, he learned his craft well in films big – The Godfather II, New York New York, The Deer Hunter; and small – The Gang That Couldn’t Shoot Straight (pictured here with Leigh Taylor Young) in 1970 and Bernardo Bertolucci’s 1900 in 1977.

Not even a 2002 film that grossed over $100 million (Mr Deeds) was able to deflect the wrong attention from what had been, until a sad lapse in judgement, a spectacular career. There was a time, in the first half of the ’90s, as successes like Mermaids, Edward Scissorhands, Age Of Innocence, Reality Bites, Little Women, How To Make An American Quilt and The Crucible tumbled one atop another, when Winona Horowitz (as she was born) seemed to be the most popular young actress in America. It had all happened extraordinarily fast. After debuting in Lucas in 1986, she came to attention in Square Dance the following year (even if her overdone redneck accent did cop critic’s and even fan’s jibes). As 13-year-old Gemma, she left her father (Jason Robards) and a small town to live with her estranged mother in the big smoke. As soon as this was in the can, she was hired by Tim Burton for Beetlejuice and the rocket ride began. In her climb to stardom, this girl was rarely interrupted!

FEATURES

LEONARDO DICAPRIO An Academy Award nomination came Leonardo DiCaprio’s way much earlier in his career than in Jennifer Connelly’s or Diane Lane’s. The kid from Echo Park who had been on Romper Room at age five, later appeared in TV’s Roseanne and Growing Pains and found himself in films by way of Critters 3 in 1991 and Poison Ivy the following year. The role that grabbed Oscar attention came in 1993 when he deftly played the retarded Arnie, brother of Johnny Depp’s Gilbert in What’s Eating Gilbert Grape? (pictured here). Young Leo stumbled for a time thereafter, with The Quick and the Dead, The Basketball Diaries and Total Eclipse but fought his way back with Marvin’s Room, Romeo + Juliet, Titanic, The Man In The Iron Mask, and The Aviator. Scorsese and Spielberg sing his praises loudly.

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NICOLE KIDMAN

JACK NICHOLSON

Born in Hawaii to Australian parents, Nicole persuaded them to enroll her in drama school when she was but ten years old. Rising through the ranks of the Australian Theatre for Young People in Sydney, this freckle-faced waif stood out from the scores of child actors who besiege casting calls and by age 14 was landing roles in feature films, beginning with Bush Christmas in 1982. As a checkout chick on two wheels who gets involved in a bank heist, Nicole took the lead in BMX Bandits the following year, and every role thereafter brought her inexorably toward Oscar-level acting. After the TV mini-series Vietnam and Bangkok Hilton and a searing role in the edgy 1989 thriller Dead Calm, the intelligent woman emerged from the beguiling child, something which didn’t escape Tom Cruise when he asked that she be cast in Days Of Thunder the following year.

The enigmatic Mr. Nicholson first came to movies by way of an office boy position in MGM’s cartoon department. He made his big screen debut in 1958’s Cry Baby Killer and in 1960 was seen in all his surly glory as Weary Reilly in Studs Lonigan (pictured here). Few are aware that Jack was assistant cameraman on The Monkees TV series and co-wrote/directed their feature film, Head. His fascination for rock music was still in evidence in 1969 when he was seen plucking a sitar in On A Clear Day You Can See Forever. He also sang in the film – so badly that the scene had to be relegated to the cutting room floor!

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MICHAEL DOUGLAS The star of Fatal Attraction, Wall Street, Black Rain, Basic Instinct, Falling Down and A Perfect Murder may well have been the son of star Kirk Douglas but he still had to fight his own way up the showbiz ladder like any other young aspiring actor. His big screen debut came in 1969 when he portrayed a well-scrubbed hippy who enjoyed painting flowers on his father’s barn in Hail Hero! By 1972, he was befriending Jodie Foster in the Disney family fare Napoleon and Samantha. They both seem to have done well for themselves since!

ROBERT REDFORD The smile that lit up a career. More than 40 years after his debut film performance in War Hunt, it is difficult to imagine a time when Robert Redford wasn’t an imposing screen presence. Director Sydney Pollack thought him an interesting metaphor for America – a golden boy with darkness in him. The darkness took a while to surface. Before Butch Cassidy & the Sundance Kid made him a mega-star at the end of the ’60s, he was seen sparingly on screen, in mostly lightweight films like Situation Hopeless But Not Serious, Inside Daisy Clover, The Chase, This Property Is Condemned and was memorably paired with Jane Fonda in Barefoot In The Park. His annual Sundance Film Festival and seemingly annual Ocean’s blockbusters are the latest enduring marks of his unstoppable career.

RUSSELL CROWE Not quite a gladiator and not much evidence of a beautiful mind here. This is by no means the screen debut of the New Zealand born Crowe – that came in 1990 with Blood Oath and The Crossing. In fact this shot comes from his ninth feature film, 1993’s Love In Limbo, a teen torment flick set in the Australian fifties to a rockin’ rhythm’n’blues soundtrack. As ‘Arthur’, Russell joins two almost equally gormless mates on a trip to the infamous red light Hayes Street in the West Australian mining town of Kalgoorlie in a fumbling attempt to lose their collective virginity. It’s hard to believe that this film came a year after Romper Stomper! 069 | APRIL 11

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FEATURES

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I believe that what you eat has a lot to do with how you look. Your diet and lifestyle really shows on your body and face. I am a very homely kind of person. So, I like my rajma chawal which gets cooked at my father’s place.

AHID KAPOOR

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FEATURES

It is very important to be compassionate to others. As a human being, you must consider other people, their feelings... other creatures, their feelings. I am very happy being a vegetarian and I believe that it is the best way to be.

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AY

S

Never

Supermodel Arjun

Never

Rampal on living, learning, forgiving and forgetting Photographs by Dabboo Ratnani Interview by Nivedita Jayaram Pawar Styling: Sounak Sen Barat (for Tommy Hilfiger), Carlton Desouza & Sania Momin Wardrobe courtesy: Tommy Hilfiger

Arjun Rampal is proof that good things come to those who wait. A not-so-memorable debut in Ashok Mehta’s Moksh in 2001 didn’t vindicate this supermodel’s decision to ditch the ramp and switch over to the silver screen. He was noticed, no doubt, but the slivers of potential he showed in a string of heavy-duty films, including Ankhen and The Last Lear didn’t do much to resurrect a fledgling career. Till he turned himself into a brooding, henpecked rockstar in Abhishek Kapoor’s Rock On in 2008. Arjun got the biggest opening of his career, and then came Prakash Jha’s Rajneeti. Bollywood now had a hot new commodity to drool over. But unlike his fellow muscle-bound meatheads, this Jabalpur-born actor’s appeal lies in the ease with which he can play the role of a suave, cunning politician as easily as a divorced father of two. After many stop-and-starts, Arjun’s transition from a supermodel to a serious actor may just be complete. This is a rare, revealing interview of the new hearththrob of the Hindi film industry.

Makeup Artist: Rajan Yadav Hair: Nitin @ Hakim’s Aalim Salon Location Courtesy : Sea Princess Hotel, Juhu, Mumbai (Tel: 022-26469500, Www.Seaprincess.Com)

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On a serious note, people who use media too much shouldn’t complain when the roles are reversed... when the media starts using them. My relationship with them is just perfect. I know a lot of top people in various media houses and they respect me. I am never disturbed by any photographer because I have seen them grow and create this whole paparazzi gang. They are wonderful guys if you know them and treat them correctly. In return, they will respect you with the same dignity. You went to New York to study filmmaking but ended up doing an actor’s course. Actually I went to New York to model. My roommates were studying at NYU film school. They used to give me their scripts to read and I would happily give them my ideas. I became a script doctor for them and it even earned me some pocket money. It was then that I realised I enjoyed doing it and decided to come back to NY to study filmmaking. Ashok Mehta had already offered me Moksh. Shekhar Kapoor (filmmaker) was also very insistent that I do it. So when I came back to India, the first person who called me was, ironically, Ashok Mehta. A lot of things in your life happened by accident – getting spotted at a night club by Rohit Bal, the eventual movie offers… I don’t think they were accidents. I believe in destiny – certain things are predestined. You need to keep your eyes open to see when things happen to you. In my life, mostly everything I have believed in have come true. I believe in energies and that’s the kind of energies you attract. I don’t know how I became an actor. A boy born in Jabalpur, brought up in Nasik, comes to Mumbai and ends up working with the biggest stars of the industry… it must all be predestined. That is perhaps a simplistic way of looking at life. The fact is, you don’t also have any of those ‘fancy struggle stories’ most people in Bollywood never tire of showing off. Destiny? I think that too was predestined. I have been modeling ever since I turned 17. By 20, I was a supermodel. So in terms of being a celebrity and the accompanying fame, I’ve had my share even before I got into films. By then, I knew what it means to be successful. You had a dream launch in Ashok Mehta’s Moksh. But it didn’t work. And then came a slew of misses with Jadh, Vada, Elaan, Dil Hain Tumhara, Ek Ajnabi... Must have been a very frustrating phase in your career? It was a very depressing period. Every artist wants recognition and the opportunity to work. I am happiest when I am in front of the camera. But if there are no offers, your confidence takes a severe

beating. I remember every time I walked into a room full of successful people, I would invariably ask myself: ‘God, why don’t I have it.’ I was desperately looking for that one hit film. But it took a long time to come through. When my movies were bombing, people would come up to me and say ‘Are you still going to do movies?’ These were awkward questions I didn’t have answers to. Now the same people say, ‘Wow man, what a turnaround.’ At that stage in my life, it was my family and friends who stood by me. By the grace of God, I have a strong support system. They encouraged me to stick to what I was doing. It was the belief that Shahrukh Khan, Farha, Farhan and Rituparno Ghosh had in me that saw me through. Then Rock on happened.

COVER STORY

You have done very few interviews in the past. You don’t like being questioned? It’s not that I don’t like giving interviews. In fact, I enjoy it. But when you have nothing new to say, what’s the point of any such exercise? I don’t want to stay in the media just to create an image, or manipulate it which you end up believing in. Yes, I don’t like speaking about my private life. But I do enjoy interviews and you will soon run out of tape. (Laughs)

But I am glad I went through it all. I don’t regret anything. Maybe if these films had happened earlier, I would have been much more successful. But it’s never too late. I will go ahead and make the kind of cinema I believe in and enjoy doing. There are so many wonderful stories to be told. How did you kill time through that period? I spent a lot of time reading scripts and came across a number of wonderful ideas. I am planning to start work on some soon with my production house Chasing Ganesha. Introspection apart, those days of rejection also taught you some life lessons? Of course yes. I have learnt to never say never! Never write off anyone. Don’t be negative to people. Don’t push someone who is already down. Always be ready to help. I have learnt not to take myself too seriously. You are just a human being; It will all end one day. But when you die, you must leave behind a good body of work that speaks for you in your absence. The National Award for Rock On was a vindication of all that you believed in? I just feel a lot of gratitude towards God. I have had a wonderful life, much more than I could have imagined, considering where I come from. I am very fortunate. I’ll tell you a story. When I came to Bombay to become a model, a socialite asked me, ‘Have you heard of Milind Soman?’ I said yes of course. ‘So what are you doing in Bombay. There is not enough room for you,’ she said. I told her Bombay was a big enough city for both of us. I laughed it off. Three months later, I was on the cover of every magazine and doing really well. Then the same socialite invited me to her place for dinner. I asked her if Milind was coming. She said yes. ‘So do you have a house bigger than Bombay,’ I asked. (Laughs) I didn’t go for the party! Today, we are friends. People say things they don’t really mean most of the times. But the fact is that you have to move on. Life’s too short to keep grudges and move around with baggage. You live, learn, forgive and forget. Winning the National Award was the most incredible thing ever. I remember I was sitting on the terrace with Meher and a friend, having coffee, when I got an SMS saying ‘Congratulations Arjun on your National Award.’ I thought some idiot was screwing around with me. I messaged back saying ‘I think you sent the wrong message.’ He replied saying, ‘You idiot, it’s on 077 | APRIL 11

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I love… The way my babies smell. I wish I could bottle it. I keep telling my wife I want more. The first time I faced the camera… It was for Ashok Mehta. He put me in a pond of water and I was there for five days. I was wondering when am I going to act. Sexiest woman alive Scarlett Johansson Favourite food The menu at Lap On my bedside table Pictures of my Gods – Shivji, Ganeshi and Our Lady. My mobile phone charger Ideal day Track pants, t-shirt, lots of coffee, kids, movies… Best holiday The last one we took to Greece I guard my privacy By living on the 20th floor (laughs) If I ever wrote a biography, I would title it The things you didn’t know Favourite colour White, black, navy blue. Favourite actor Amitabh Bachchan and Christian De Favourite pastime I’d rather make the most of time. Favourite gadget My ipad. There are some wonderful apps in there and my Blackberry. I am listening to Music that I have mixed The biggest compliment Winning the National Award Biggest fear To be corrupted… to do things for the wrong reason, or just for money. The worst thing of being an actor When you are on a set where no one’s in tune with each other. Everyone is seeing a different film. What next I will be launching my line of perfume called Alive in August.

COVER STORY

ASKED ON THE WAY…

the news.’ I still didn’t believe him and thought he was playing a prank with me. And a sad one at that. So I quietly went to my TV room and that’s when I saw the scroll. I cannot explain my state of mind then. I went back to the terrace and screamed it out to everyone. We partied for a month after that. And then you go to receive the award from the President. It is such an incredible feeling... rubbing shoulders with the best talent in the country, the solemnity of the affair... it is simply mind-blowing. In a way, you stand for a lot of things in our film industry... that models can act, that you don’t really need a godfather to be successful here, that Arjun Rampal is made of stern stuff... When I came to Mumbai from Delhi to become a model, I know how many others were inspired by me. Some of them did become very successful eventually. That feels really good. And I do hope that youngsters from outside the industry too are given a fair chance. There is so much talent out there. At the end of the day, I believe in being passionate about whatever you do. Don’t do it for the wrong reasons. People want to become stars, not actors. It doesn’t work like that. Only good actors become stars. People come here and then they want the vanity van, spot boy, and all the accompanying frills. But when it comes to memorising their lines, they don’t do it or they ham. You and Meher fiercely guard your privacy. Do you enjoy fame? I love fame. But I know how to respect it. When someone comes to me for an autograph, I never refuse. Personally, I would be painfully shy to walk up to someone and ask for an autograph. I know that it takes a lot of courage. I would be very embarrassed if I walk around and no one recognises me or comes to me for an autograph. But does it get annoying at times. Everything comes with a price tag. But what it gives you in return is far more enriching than being disturbed for a couple of hours. Sometimes the paparazzi gets a bit too much. Even mobile phones with cameras are a big disaster as you don’t know when someone is taking a photograph. Suddenly you find your picture pasted on Facebook! The worst is when media misuses power and cooks up stories. You sometimes read things about yourself that has no truth to it. Sometimes your kids read it and it’s really not cool. You can’t do anything about it. Even if you try to fight it, there are no laws that can really protect you. It takes ages to get things the legal way. That’s quite annoying. Are you too harsh on yourself as an actor? I can’t see my own films. I don’t actually enjoy it. I am horribly critical of my performances. I spend more time observing people and their reactions. It’s just a nerve racking thing when your film is releasing. Maybe one day when I have time and not working so much, I will sit and watch all my films. Maybe then I will be able to enjoy them. You are also a budding photographer. 081 | APRIL 11

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You are also concentrating on business with your nightclub, Lap, in Delhi. Having done my Economics Honours, I was always inclined towards business. Once on a flight with AD Singh (owner of Olive Restobar), I casually mentioned that I wanted to own a restobar. About a month later, I get a call from him asking me to check out a place in Delhi. It was in Samrat Hotel. I asked him why he wanted to take me to this bhoot bungalow. But the minute I saw it, I knew what I could create there. And I think we have created one of the nicest night clubs in India. I don’t want to make it into a franchise property. But I would be opening one in Mumbai and another one in Bangalore soon. I am looking at Laps in London, Beirut and New York, and then I am done.

COVER STORY

I always carry my camera while shooting. But all my pictures are just candid images.

You have been a style icon right from your supermodel days. What’s the Arjun Rampal style? To be myself and be comfortable in whatever I wear. I wear my t-shirts and track pants for years till they wear out. I like to keep it simple. Is there a side of your personality that we don’t know of? I love to DJ. It’s actually my passion. I love to mix music and play a lot of good progressive house. I love to have a good time – go out and party. People say I party too much. But what’s the point of working so hard when you can’t enjoy? On days when you are not shooting, what do you do? I am interested in too many things. I never get bored. I love to watch movies, play poker on the Internet... I go to my club and DJ. I also take off with my kids on holidays to places where nobody knows me. Lastly, how was it working with Mr Bachchan? It was brilliant. If there is a barometer for an actor, he’s the guy. He’s just brilliant. I don’t even know how to explain. He’s also a wonderful human being, has a great sense of humour and is super intelligent. He’s clued into every thing and loves technology. He’s loads of fun. He’s not as serious as people think he is. The first movie I did with him was Ankhen and I was so grateful I was playing a blind man as I didn’t have to look at him when I acted with him. Or else I would forget all my lines. Then we did Ek Ajnabi where I had to be like his pal…backslap him. So even though I had done an entire movie with him, when I first had to look at him, I forgot all my lines. And he said, “Arjun, you worked with me before.” And I was like, “yeah. But I was blind in that movie and I didn’t have to look at you.” And then we cracked up. At the Om Shanti Om trial, I was walking out and suddenly someone came and hugged me from behind. Then a heard a voice saying, “You life is going to change after this one.” And it did!

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The League Of

EXTRAORDINARY Gentlemen by Alam Srinivas

The success of IPL 4 will put many sub-clashes or sub-cultural conflicts to rest. It will, with certain finality, decide who wins the real societal game. Of course, cricket too will change more in the process.

Photographs: IPL via Getty Images

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IPL’s huge success, despite the controversies, in the first three seasons epitomises a singular fact – the new way of life was winning hands down against the old. The barriers to change were breaking down consistently – and fast. India, as is cricket which is the opium of the masses, was transforming like never before. If one had to deconstruct the modern, postreforms India, IPL could be the best lens to gauge its growth and progress. If the axis of economic power was shifting towards Asia – India and China – the fulcrum of cricketing power was clearly in the subcontinent. Given this scenario, the fourth season of the league may just prove to be the final nail in the coffin of ‘Old’ India. If despite the overload of cricket, change in administration of the Board for Control of Cricket in India (BCCI) with the exit of the controversial Lalit Modi, an attempt to downplay its entertainment quotient, and an endeavour to bring some sensibilities to it, IPL continues to become bigger and better, it will prove that ‘New India’ and a dramatically-transformed cricket is here to stay. Let us get this right. IPL IV may be the last chance for the old guard to stall the march towards irreversible alterations in cricket and Indian way of life; it is either make-or-break season for the conservatives to prevent a transfer of socio-economic power to the neo-liberals. In this sense, IPL IV may well be India’s last stop towards a monumental drift in the 21st century. This will be evident in the various underlying clashes during the fourth season. Lalit ‘Brash’ Modi vs N ‘Low-profile’ Srinivasan Modi, the former IPL head, is the quintessential 21st century Indian. He is actually a global soul, whose theater is the entire world. He is brash, arrogant and ambitious. He feels that ends justify the means – always. He is willing to take any steps – good, bad or ugly – to ensure the success of his IPL brainchild. In contrast, Srinivasan, the BCCI secretary and the president designate, is the typical, conservative, south Indian Brahmin businessman. He is lowprofile, and he gets his work done in a non-obtrusive manner. Yet, both are not-so-clean in their methods. Modi is in-your-face kind of a person; Srinivasan is an out-of-public glare one. So, while Modi forced contracts down people’s

INDIAN PREMIER LEAGUE

T

he first three seasons of the Indian Premier League (IPL), which is now worth over $4 billion, represented a microcosm of a society that is on the cusp of change. It mirrored a society where contrasting and conflicting values are at constant war with each other. It was a classic battle – whether one saw IPL through the prism of cricket administrators, team owners, players, fans, or the game itself – between old ‘conservative’ values and new ‘brash’ ones.

throats and took decisions unilaterally without informing the BCCI about them, the CMD of India Cements tries to build a consensus, but one which is surely going to be in his favour. Modi is a benevolent dictator, who never forgets his friends or enemies; Srinivasan is a powerful oligarch, who bends the system without trying to attract attention. However, both wield power in their own right. Both try to be on the winning side. Let us look at an example each of how Modi and Srinivasan influenced decisions, or effected policies during the first three seasons of IPL. In the case of TV rights, Modi initially inked an agreement with WSG-Sony combine for over $1 billion over a tenyear period. But just before the start of the second season, in 2009, Modi urged the combine to hike the amount. While both WSG and Sony agreed to do so, surprisingly, the WSG-Sony contract was cancelled. Modi claimed that this was done because “BCCI and Sony could not reach consensus on the language of the (new) agreement….” Since the cancellation happened less than a month before IPL II, Modi initiated discussions with NDTV, ESPN and Star Sports. He continued his talks with WSG. The BCCI termination letter to Sony was sent at 8.14 pm on March 14, 2009; Sony responded two hours later threatening to move the court for a stay at 11 am the following morning (March 15). To pre-empt Sony, Modi reached an agreement with WSG at 3 am on the morning of March 15. WSG agreed to acquire Sony’s TV rights for the next nine years. Since WSG was a marketing company, it had to still find a broadcaster to replace Sony. The new deal stated that WSG had to find one within 72 hours. Thanks to this development, the court refused to give a stay to Sony. To prevent Sony from stopping WSG from joining hands with a new broadcaster, Modi gave it a list of TV firms (Sony, NDTV, ESPN, Star Sports, Neo Sports, TV 18, Sun Astro and Doordarshan), which could be interested in the TV rights. On March 16, 2009, a draft deal was inked between WSG and NDTV. At Modi’s goading, WSG continued to commercially negotiate with Sony. Finally, WSG decided to join hands with Sony, just weeks before IPL II. It was a classic Modi negotiation; a nearly two-billion-dollar deal was renegotiated and executed in a few days’ time. Srinivasan, in comparison, worked in a different style. For instance, one of his objectives as a team owner – his India Cements owns Chennai Super Kings – was to retain as many players as possible after the end of IPL III. Since the players were purchased for three years at the first auction, they had to be technically available for repurchase after the end of the third season.

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Later, in November 2009, Modi told the IPL Governing Council that six of the eight original teams were in favour of his proposal. The only two that were against it were Chennai Super Kings and Mumbai Indians. At the December 2009 meeting of the Council, Srinivasan insisted “on a player retention policy of seven players (four Indian and three foreign).” On March 7, 2010, the Council approved the retention of seven players by each of the original eight city teams. Modi claimed that he was “overruled because of strong opposition from the Hon. Secretary (Srinivasan) whose stand – which was against the interest of the BCCI / IPL but in his personal interest as a team owner – was supported by the President (BCCI).” After Modi’s ouster as the IPL Chairman in May 2010, the BCCI decided to allow the retention of four players. Only Chennai Super Kings and Mumbai Indians retained the maximum number of players allowed under this policy. Some of the teams did not even retain one player. Srinivasan got his way, but only partially, after months of negotiations.

NEW GLOBAL ELITE VS OLD GUARD IPL, as we have seen, is more about business than cricket. It is about revenue streams, players’ auctions, and media and sponsorship rights. According to a study by Alchemy in 2008, operating margins of an IPL franchise could be as high as 15-20 per cent. By the end of the third season, almost each of the teams earned profits. The valuations of the teams have soared; in the English Premier League, football teams have been sold for 2.5 times their annual revenues. Therefore, IPL is as much about the attitudes of the team owners, and the differences in their mindsets. After the induction of two new franchisees, Kochi and Pune, IPL comprises two extreme sets of sports promoters. At one end is what we can call the new global elite. In her recent piece in the Atlantic Monthly, Chrystia Freeland wrote that “our light-speed, globally connected economy has led to the rise of a new super-elite…. Its members are hardworking, highly educated, jet-setting meritocrats who feel they are the deserving winners of a tough, worldwide economic competition – and many of them, as a result, have an ambivalent attitude toward those of us who didn’t succeed so spectacularly….” One can pinpoint a few of them among IPL owners

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– Manoj Badale, the London-based promoter of Rajasthan Royals, Shah Rukh Khan of Kolkata Knight Riders, and the several part-owners of the Kochi franchise. These are the first- or second-generation entrepreneurs, who have used access to education and/or sensitivity to growing opportunities to make it big on their own. At the other extreme of the business spectrum are the old money people. These would include Vijay Mallya, the owner of Royal Challengers Bangalore, Srinivasan, and Mukesh Ambani of Mumbai Indians. They were born into money, and they have used it to make more of it. They are the moneybags, who have greased the Indian economy, but are slowly losing their clout and control.

INDIAN PREMIER LEAGUE

In fact, Modi floated the idea in March 2009, that all the players should be available in a fresh auction. His logic: once IPL added two teams in 2010 (to take the figure to ten franchisees), such a move would ensure that “the new owners were not disadvantaged visà-vis old teams….” However, Srinivasan maintained that this would be unfair to the original eight owners

The first IPL was won by Rajasthan Royals, a member of the new elite. The second by Deccan Chargers, whose owner is a mix of old and new, a man who is trying to emerge from his father’s shadow into a new world. The third was won by Srinivasan, the conservative businessman. Who will win IPL IV?

NEWGEN FANS VS PURISTS Alchemy equates IPL, not as a sport, but as a reality show. TV channels have dubbed it as cricketainment, or a heady mix of the game and entertainment. This new form appeals to the growing sub-sets of Indian middle class sections, which are aspirational and want to somehow, anyhow, ape the success of the middle-class entrepreneurs, or the new global elite. The Indian middle classes hope to live the latter’s lives, spend like them, and become as successful. For them, IPL offers a transformed game that is just their cup of tea – fast-paced, action-packed, short and sweet, lots of money banking on it, and a global format where nationalities and patriotism have no role to play. Here a Harbhajan Singh can play in the same team as Andrew Symonds, whom Bhajji allegedly called a monkey, Indian players can share the same dressing rooms with their Aussie or Sri Lankan counterparts. The cricketing world, as the real world, is flat in IPL. Pitched against these NewGen spectators are the purists, who love the game for its skill and tradition. They are too engrossed in the slow and langrous, but much intense, format of test matches. They scoff at T-20 games, where only slog-and-swing batting is required, and which has no real place for the bowlers. Anyone can score runs in T-20; it is tests where the true talent is tested. So, the success of IPL, in its fourth season, will put many of these sub-clashes or sub-cultural conflicts to rest. It will, with certain finality, decide who wins the real societal game. In the run-up to such macro civilisational issues, IPL will change the game of cricket too. I and you can either choose to remain mute observers, or grab that bottle of beer and enjoy the matches. The choice is yours and mine.

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the unusual Irfan Khan Pathan Delhi Daredevils

Base price: $200,000 Auction price: $1.9 million

BY

the middle of the last decade, he was considered the master of swing, aka Kapil Dev of the 1980s. He could make the ball dance to his ‘seam-ly’ tunes. Today, the batsmen are keener to dance up to his bowling, as Irfan seems to have lost his pace and movement. Now he looks a compact, even attacking, batsman than an all-rounder of any merit. He hasn’t played since IPL 3 (2010), where his performance was

good keeping in mind he played for a team that stood last in the ranking. He was not in the list of 30 probables for the Indian World Cup squad, yet he commanded a better price than a Sachin or Sehwag at the 2011 IPL auction. Did the Deccan Chargers’ team owner fall for Irfan’s cute baby-face and the enchanting smile? Anyway, after the auction, both the Pathan brothers can laugh all their way to the bank.

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INDIAN PREMIER LEAGUE

Photographs : IPL via Getty Images

Millionaires Yusuf Khan Pathan

by Alam Srinivas

Kolkata Knight Riders

Base price: $400,000 Auction price: $2.1 million

THERE

is no poetry or rhythm in the way he bats. He is like what his name suggests: a pathan with several macho strokes that sound like sledgehammer blows. There is a swat of the bat against the ball, and a swashbuckling six that lands in the 20th or 30th row. One cannot think of an area where he cannot hit the maximum – reverse sweep, covers, a light flick over mid-wicket

and, of course, straight down the ground. The tall, well-built man has a problem with the short ball but, as he showed during the last South African series, he can take a few body blows and then get his revenge with a few Khan-like blows that will soar over the boundary line. His problem is consistency at the highest level; he has to make India win more matches, rather than play that cavalier knock once every eight-ten games. 091 | APRIL 11

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Angelo Davis Mathews Sahara Pune

Base price: $300,000 Auction price: $950,000

HE

wants to be another Gary Sobers, he is nicknamed ‘Superman’ in the Sri Lankan dressing room, and he wants to score a double hundred in an ODI, aka Sachin. That’s a tall order for a 24-year-old. But with a thinking head on his shoulder, and decent cricketing skills to match, he could get there somewhere (one doesn’t think he could match Sobers or Tendulkar). He is indeed making

an impact on the field in different ways. One of them has been his out-of-the-box fielding. In one of the matches, he caught the ball on the boundary, realised he would step over the line, threw the ball up, figured that the ball would still land outside the line, and jumped in the air while pushing the ball inside the boundary line to save a six. He has to do something like this with his batting and bowling too.

Cheteshwar Pujara Royal Challengers Bangalore

Base price: $100,000 Auction price: $700,000

WHEN

he was knocking at the door of the Indian dressing room, he looked more like a pujari, with his choti, tilak and mala, than a cricketer. He is indeed a God-fearing man, who carries a Gujarati spiritual book with him; it provides him with life-altering thoughts at crucial junctures. This is probably the reason why everything seems too classical about his batting. Whenever he is on the field, there is something of a textbook look about him, as if he is doing exactly what has been preached to him by the Gods of cricket. It is ironical that he made his debut on October 9, 2010, the same day his mother, whom he loved the most, died of cancer five years ago. The double irony: In the fourth innings, he shot into public prominence with a composed and calm 72, which helped India win the second test against Australia.

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INDIAN PREMIER LEAGUE

Abhishek Nayar Ashish Nehra

HIS

parents had the foresight to name their frail child, Ashish, which means blessings in Hindi. From what he has undergone between 2005 and 2009 – what with surgeries on his ankles, back stress fracture, side strains and other freak injuries – he needed them (the blessings) in plenty. In fact, that was the period when he travelled across the globe – from England, Germany, South Africa to Australia – for treatment. His comeback was a bit measured and matured, unlike the earlier days when he neglected his injuries and kept playing for Team India. He started with IPL, which required him to bowl five overs a game, took lots of wickets, and then turned his eyes towards ODIs. After being in the World Cup squad, his final target is to wear the whites for India – again.

:GC Av ia G etty Ima ges

GOING

by the book, he is neither a graceful bowler, nor is he a batsman one will pay to watch. He bowls at a gentle Gangulylike pace of 110-120 km/h, and he bats like a bull with his wide stance – his feet are almost ten feet away from each other – and a table tennis player kind of a crouch. But he does get wickets once in a while, and scores a few runs twice in a while. His batting average in IPL, just above 20 in the first two seasons, is nothing to write home about, and the less said of his wicket-taking abilities – four in the second season – the better. He is more of a bit player, who will score 20 in 9 balls, when it is not required, or take that odd wicket when the batsman is trying to hit each delivery out of the park. Probably Kings XI knows more about him.

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Sahara Pune

Base price: $200,000 Auction price: $850,000

Pho tog rap h

Kings XI Punjab

Base price: $50,000 Auction price: $800,000

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Daniel Christian Deccann C Chargers harg rgerss

Base pr pprice: ricee: $$50,000 50 0,0 000 0 Auction pr price: ricce: $$900,000 900,0 0,000

Photograph: Getty Images

HE

Muthiah Muralidaran Kochi Consortium

Base price: $300,000 Auction price: $1.1 million

WHAT

do you say about someone who has taken 800 Test wickets, and another 500 in ODIs, who has out-spinned and out-witted every batsman in his career, and who has forced cricket administrators to change part of cricket’s glorious tradition? He is worth the millions, right. With his big eyes, a bigger heart, and sharp brains, Murali can claim that he is the most charming, if not the best, bowler of all times. But if Saurav Ganguly and Brian Lara were not

picked up at the 2011 IPL auction, why did Kochi agree to pay such a huge price for Murali, who is on the verge of retirement (he has announced his exit from Test cricket)? Perhaps, in T-20, where one is expected to take a couple of wickets, Murali’s magic can still mesmerise the lesser batsmen. Or maybe, he will use his time to experiment with a teesra, or a chautha, after having mastered the doosra!

is truly a mystique player, an Australian aboriginal from the Wiradjuri tribe with Scottish blood from the mother’s side (which shows in his reddish beard when he is unshaven). Wiradjuri literally means people from the three rivers, and Christian excels in all three walks of cricket, with his electric batting, eclectic bowling (he can bowl swingers at 140 km/h, off-cutters at 95 km/h, even odd leg breaks), and exhilarating fielding. Unlike many others, he wears his tribal badge on his shoulders and, at a young age, has become the flag bearer and a role model for all the aboriginals. He has also gained fame at the right time; it was only in 2002 that Cricket Australia adopted, what www.espncricinfo. com dubs as, the “indigenous strategic plan” to tap and develop the talent of aboriginal players. As a kid, if he was not playing cricket on the field, it would be on the Nintendo.

Photograph: Getty Images

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INDIAN PREMIER LEAGUE

Ravichandran Ashwin Chennai Super Kings

Base price: $100,000 Auction price: $850,000

ALONG

with Sri Lanka’s Ajanta Mendis, he has helped the cricket world to rediscover the lost craft of the carom ball (first bowled by Australian John Iverson in the period after World War II and forgotten by the 1970s), which is flicked by the thumb and the middle finger and can either spin from off to leg, leg to off, or carry on straight. It is not just his repertoire as an off-spinner, but his big heart,

unending confidence and nagging accuracy that has been on display during the IPL seasons. He has opened the bowling for Chennai Super Kings against batsmen who can belt the ball outside the park. Apart from T-20s, he has to prove his mettle in other formats. What could help Ashwin is his obsession to improve consistently. He can bowl 100 overs and bat for hours in the same game, and turn up for practice the next morning.

David Hussey Kings XI Punjab

Base price: $300,000 Auction price: $1.4 million

HE

is one of the few players who were recognised by IPL teams before the respective national selectors did. During his 1000-plus-runs in 2007-08 in Australia’s domestic season, the Kolkata franchisee paid $625,000 to buy him at the first IPL auction, more than what other owners coughed up for the more-famous elder brother, Michael Hussey and Ricky Ponting. Immediately after the auction, he was selected to represent Australia for the West Indies tour. Over the last couple of years, he is seen as more of a T-20 basher, and has not played ODIs or Tests. Unlike Michael, who is recognised as the schemer and the spine of the Australian middle-order, David’s prowess seems to be more of a late-night crasher, who can spoil anyone’s party on his day. But the younger brother still harbours a dream to score a Test hundred. But then he is already 34, and he is definitely not in Sachin’s league!

Umesh Yadav Delhi Daredevils

Base price: $50,000 Auction price: $750,000

UNTIL

he was 19 (in 2006), he had never bowled with the red or white cherry; probably he hadn’t even seen a leather ball; after all, he was the son of a coal mine worker. Reports indicate that his friends goaded him to try for the district team after they saw how fast he could bowl with a tennis ball. The rest, as they don’t say,

was the beginning of a new history for Yadav. Within two years, he was playing Duleep Trophy and testing his skills against established Team India’s batsmen and, by 2010, he was in the country’s T-20 and test squad. He can bowl fast, over 140 km/h, when he wishes to do so. But he needs to improve his variations; his stock ball is the incoming one from wide of the crease. He is one of those numerous cricketers from small towns, who have crashed their way into Dhoni’s team. 095 | APRIL 11

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Piyush Pramod Chawla Kings XI Punjab

Saurabh Sunil Tiwary Royal Challengers Bangalore

Base price: $100,000 Auction price: $900,000

Base price: $100,000 Auction price: $1.1 million

LIKE

HE

Harbhajan Singh’s fascination with the doosra (and may be the teesra if a youtube video is to be believed) wrecked his off breaks, Chawla’s insistence on googly made him a leg spinner who can either bowl straight or spin it from off to leg. This is why he has been on and off the field, when India has donned the blues or whites in the past few years. As a short profile on www.espncricinfo. com puts it, “At 16, he famously dismissed Sachin Tendulkar in the Challenger Trophy (with a googly). At 17, he became India’s second youngest Test debutant. At 18, he was deceiving Kevin Pietersen with his googlies (yet again) during the tour of England.” By 20, he was out of the squad. Thanks to loads of luck and the cool captain’s confidence in possibly his non-leg break abilities, he is back (though with a whimper).

is the second player from Jharkhand, after Mahendra Singh Dhoni, to play for India. Till recently, although he is a bit taller, he was known as a Dhoni look-alike, with his long hair, ox-like built and similar out-of-the-book shots. In IPL 2 and 3, he emerged on his own. It is a possibility that after Dhoni saw him play and realised his potential, he cut his hair short to cut short the comparison with Tiwary? However, Tiwary refers to the Indian captain as a God, whom he respects. In IPL 3, one was surprised when the Mumbai Indian’s captain, Sachin Tendulkar, promoted him at No 3, ahead of seasoned players like Kieron Pollard. But Tiwary, with two fifties and an unusual strike rate, did not disappoint his skipper. It remains to be seen if this lefthanded hitter can retain his place in the Indian side, like Dhoni, or becomes another Gony – going, going, forever gone.

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INDIAN PREMIER LEAGUE

Johan Botha Rajasthan Royals

Base price: $200,000 Auction price: $950,000

CAN

you think of a bowler, who has changed his action thrice, and that too after playing first-class and international cricket? Meet South African Botha, who started off as a medium pacer (he could bowl over 125 km/h), became an off-spinner and mastered the doosra. His action was found suspect in January 2006. He changed it but was found to be bending his elbow more than 15 degrees in September 2006. So, it was back to the nets for him until he was cleared in November. Since then, Botha has become an important weapon in South Africa’s battle to capture the Number One slot. However, doubts have continued about his doosra, and he has had to go for regular ‘official’ tests to figure out if his elbow is bending way too much to get that

Photograph: GCA via Getty Images

Venugopal Rao Delhi Daredevils

Base price: $100,000 Auction price: $700,000

IN

Photograph: Getty Images

February 2004, he stormed onto public arena, when he scored an unbeaten 228 as South Zone successfully chased a target of 501. A year later, Rao, who was a member of the U-19 team, which won the World Cup in 1999-2000, found himself in the Indian team. Since

then, the going has not been good, even as coaches like Greg Chappel and Gary Kirsten have voiced their criticisms about his batting abilities at the highest level. At this stage, it seems, he will become like many other members of the U-19 teams; most of them fail to either make a transition to first-class and/or country level(s). His price tag, however, hints that he will remain a valuable player in IPL and, therefore, can take another shot to rip it past the selectors again. 097 | APRIL 11

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Photograph: Getty Images

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by Suresh Menon

COLUMN

It Is Not About ut ssport, port, it i iiss nnot ot eeven ot ven aabout bout entertainment. It is all about a bunch It is not about clerkks doing doing their daily dailly shift, kowtowing to the head hea clerk. of clerks

The

IPL was sold to the public, at the first instance, on a bunch of half-truths. There was talk of loyalty, of bringing a city together, of giving younger players a chance to rub shoulders with the greats, of doing it all for cricket. After three years, nobody pretends it is anything but a huge money-making exercise where everything else is incidental. This is not a bad thing by itself; it is good to divest the concept of the false feathers. The city concept has been reduced to a farce with the owners of the Kochi franchise (they were Commandos, are now Tuskers and doubtless by the time you read this would have become Kathakalis) wanting the home matches to be played in Ahmedabad.

all of us played as children – but now with the passion surgically excised, and with everybody contracted to singing its praises. So successful was the hype in the first three editions that we will doubtless have more of the same thrust down our throats in the fourth. The DLF maximum is now guaranteed to be seared into our pancreases. What wouldn’t I give to hear a commentator say, “That was a terrible shot”. When everything is larger than life size, we long for the normal. During one of the matches, Bishan Bedi called up and guffawed: “Have you had your orgasms for the day?” You cannot escape the sexual metaphor in the slam-bang-thankyou-m’am version of the game.

There is still no Players’ Association in place, which means that individual players without a Test record or media clout will continue to be harassed by officials keen on teaching youngsters a lesson. The Governing Council has already indicated that they make the rules, they break the rules and if you don’t like it, too bad. Charged by Mumbai Indians of rigging the IPL auction, the governing council, in a thoughtful message said, “The governing council reiterates that the auction was transparent and fair.”

Cricket often uses the military metaphor – teams are shot out for low scores, bowlers bombard batsmen with bouncers, batsmen shoulder arms – but it has taken the IPL to highlight the sexual narrative. The batting is orgasmic, six-hitting is a release, climaxes involve everybody. The excitement never stops, or if it does, commentators quickly dip into their Hype Manuals and tell us about the “incredible inactivity” or the “astounding wait” for the ball to be returned or the “unbelievable passage of time” while the batsman walks to the wicket. Nothing ordinary ever happens at the IPL. The expectations – and the voices – are at a fever pitch. If Tendulkar sneezes, it is the greatest sneeze ever recorded, if Sangakkara bruises his thigh, it is the most stunning personal injury since Ravana lost his heads over someone else’s wife. Or, am I thinking of Shane Warne? So difficult to tell when myth and reality come together like this.

It ought not to cause surprise, of course, for ‘clash of interest’ is the theme of the IPL. The Board Secretary runs a team, is a member of the governing council and decided the order in which players were to be auctioned off. We are expected to believe that his right hand does not know what his left hand is doing. The chief national selector is the brand ambassador of a franchise, and the IPL sees nothing strange in that. As always, the officials have a code of conduct that is different from the players’. Last year, Ravindra Jadeja was banned for what was crudely seen as his greed. This year, it is the turn of Manish Pandey. Greed, according to the IPL, is the exclusive property of the IPL. Had Pandey played for India, he would have been entitled to greed, to a higher price and a nationally televised salary scheme. His IPL record, his first-class record and his status as the first Indian to score a century in the IPL count for nothing. The suspicions that first arose were confirmed in the second season of the IPL. It is not about cricket, it is not about sport, it is not even about entertainment. It is all about a bunch of clerks doing their daily shift, kowtowing to the head clerk. There is little joy, little spontaneity, little warmth in this exercise. No one remembers the following day who won or lost or indeed who played – perhaps this is post-modern sport, with everything focused on the here and now. Cameras trained on accountants in a company adding up figures would bring to our living rooms as much excitement as that other repetitive exercise – hitting sixes into the crowd. Twenty20 is a sophisticated version of the backyard matches

The IPL is the tomato (‘is it a fruit or is it a vegetable?’) of the television world – no one is sure whether it is sport or entertainment; obviously someone has already called it ‘sportainment’. The roles behind the scenes continue to overlap distressingly. This seems appropriate since Bollywood – an important element of the IPL – revels in double and triple roles for its leading stars in the movies. Objectivity may be old fashioned, but if the ‘independent’ media act as marketing managers for the IPL (despite Lalit Modi treating them like the dust beneath his chariot wheels), can the average fan be blamed for getting confused? Cliques and coteries abound. Modi is no longer around (what happens to the man operating the Modicam, is he out of a job or will he be transferred to the Srinicam?), but will there be transparency or accountability with the new dispensation? Look at it from the cricket board’s view. Why would it wish to be either transparent or accountable, when it has been successful by focusing on the reverse of these two qualities? Modi may be gone, but Modiism will continue to rule. The road to profit is paved with dodgy intentions. 099 | APRIL 11

SPORTS COLUMN#47.indd 99

3/31/2011 12:44:25 PM


Rup

goes island hopping on a big, fat Greek holiday and becomes an instant fan of three breathtakingly beautiful getaways in the Saronic Gulf Rupali Dean

100 | APRIL 11

GREEK#47.indd 100

3/31/2011 12:46:47 PM


Rupali Dean

IF YOU INTEND to wade your way through Greece on your own, be warned. It could be terribly confusing. At least Piraeus Port was, before we managed to board the early-morning cruise-liner. It took us about an hour-and-a-half to reach Hydra, the first of the three islands on our one-day itinerary and the farthest from Athens. Hydra is simply breathtaking. Whitewashed houses climbed the mountainside with the jewel blue ocean stretching out below. The blue water of the Aegean Sea looked unreal: It was not tropical island blue, but deep aqua colour.

Rupali Dean

FEATURES

HYDRA

No cars are allowed in Hydra. The only motor vehicles you see on the narrow stone streets are garbage trucks. And how do people commute? Either by foot or on donkeys! But make no mistake. It is not cheap either: A 10-minute donkey ride will cost you Euro 30! Tiny shops, cafes and hotels lend a unique charm to this small town. Interestingly, in the 18th century, Hydra also controlled sea trade and commerce and since then has been the birthplace of some of Greece’s most famous leaders and fighters. For lunch, we sat out in the stone-paved courtyard of the tavern under a canopy of bougainvillea, and devoured a feast of Greek appetizers; we had bread with an eggplant dip, sausage with sliced tomatoes and melted cheese, mushrooms in a red sauce, and Greek salad before they even brought us the main course aka grilled fresh fish, with a whole bunch of hungry cats and kittens waiting for us to throw them the fish heads and bones. We wandered around some more after lunch before ending up at another cafe. It was so relaxing to sit by the water, watch the boats and talk as we sipped coffee. Since chilling at outdoor cafes is such a major pastime here, I felt like I was really experiencing the Greek lifestyle.

FAST FACTS Alternate way to reach (If you don’t take the cruise) The easiest way to reach Piraeus is by bus (X96 Express, previously designated E96). Flying Dolphins and other ferries leave from the port of Piraeus, Gate 90 (in front of Piraeus Tower) to Hydra.

Best place to stay Four Seasons Hotel, located between the mountains and sea, inundated by warm shades of olive-trees, offers a unique view of the island’s sunset.

For Reservations P.O. Box 169, 180 40, Hydra; tel: +30 22980 53698; fax: +30 22980 53646.

Photographs : Dreamstime

GREEK#47.indd 101

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3/31/2011 12:46:55 PM


Rupali Dean

AEGINA

Rupali Dean

THE HARBOUR was dotted with colourful fishing boats, numerous fruit sellers and carts of sun-dried squid. At the end of the pier stood a delightful chapel, in honour of St. Nicholas, patron saint of sailors. We booked ourselves on a 25 Euros (per person) ‘attractions’ tour, which included the famous Temple of Athena Aphaia, and boarded a bus with an English speaking guide. The drive was scenic, but the temple took my breath away. Aphaia apparently was a hunting nymph from the Cretan pantheon and legend has it that she swam to Aegina, where they erected a temple in her honour. Eventually, Aphaia came to be conflated with the goddess Athena. Majestically preserved, the Temple of Aphaia offered a unique perspective of the (ancient) Greek world. I thought the building was stunning, especially the intact staircases on either side of the entrance. When you reach the top, you get

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GREEK#47.indd 102

3/31/2011 12:47:02 PM


FEATURES

FAST FACTS a 360-degree view of the stunning landscape: Athens, Salamos, the Peloponnesus and Megara. We also visited the monastery of St Nectarius. It was a huge complex with many buildings and a beautiful church that was being refurbished. It had a beautiful silver coffin on the side sanctuary. In the main church, the pews were all carved individually with birds and scenes and the floor of the sanctuary was an ocean mosaic. Greece is famous for the “Aegina pistachios”, one of the best varieties in the world. I could see pistachio nut tree groves all around and pistachios were sold in many forms – glazed with honey, in jars with oil, in bars with sesame seeds, etc. Sure enough I was sure to pick up a few bags from one of the many shops located near the port. On our return we walked through the maze of small homes and shops to a lovely Orthodox church. Beautiful icons adorned every inch of the interior walls of this church.

Alternate way to reach (If you don’t take the cruise) Aegina is located very close to Athens and is one of the most popular islands for a day trip. Ferries are the only option, and don’t forget to make advance reservation.

Best place to stay in Athens It is best to make Athens your base and then explore the rest of Greece. Divani Caravel Hotel, 2, Vas. Alexandrou Avenue, 16121. Athens is a very good option.

For reservations tel: +30 210 7207000; e-mail: info@ divanicaravel.gr

Best place to stay in Aegina Sitting on the edge of a cliff, in a lovely spot of the Saronic Gulf, Hotel Apollo is the best place to see an Aegina day unfold.

For reservations in Aegina Marina Aegina Island, tel: 0030 22970 32271; e-Mail- apolo@otenet.gr

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GREEK#47.indd 103

3/31/2011 12:47:14 PM


GREEK#47.indd 104

3/31/2011 12:48:21 PM


Rupali Dean

THE MAIN street of Poros is along the channel that divides the island from Peloponnese and the area is bustling with activity all through the day and also offers the most beautiful narrow sea passage in Greece. Poros seemed very busy to me, but no less lovely. The port was the best part of the island, with the sailing boats and small cafes on the row. It was a typical small sea port of white and blue coloured houses and quiet family resorts. Poros is actually two islands joined by an isthmus: Kalaureia to the north, and Sphairia where Poros town is located, to the south. The town is a great place to walk around. We also tried the ďŹ sh taverns and walked through the narrow streets right up to the highest point for a panoramic view, the Clock Tower. Pine forests and lemon groves made the island a shady, verdant place to walk.

FEATURES

POROS

If you happen to stay overnight, there is an open cinema where one can watch movies under the stars! Sitting in the cafe by the channel and watching the world go by was the most relaxing pastime for us too! By the way, this island of peace and romance is also famous for the military navy facilities, the educational centre for the Greek Navy.

FAST FACTS Alternate way to reach (If you don’t take the cruise) From Athens, Piraeus is a 40-minute taxi ride away (taxis are expensive). You can also take the airport bus to Piraeus (1 hour; 3.20 Euro). From the harbour you could take the fast boats, Flying Dolphin, Flying Cats, (takes an hour; 22.50 Euro) or the slow car ferry (2.5 hours; 13.30 Euro).

Best place to stay in Poros Check out the Manessi Hotel, Poros Port, 18020, Poros. It is situated below the Clock Tower of Poros amidst the coffee shops and offers breathtaking views of the port. WiFi is available free of cost.

For reservations Log on to http://www.booking.com/ hotel/gr/manessi.en.html

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GREEK#47.indd 105

3/31/2011 12:48:23 PM


has been on a continuous vacation for almost three decades... on an island of her own off the coast of Kotka in the Gulf of Finland Eija Rasinmäki

OF MY OWN

T A

he cold sea water gently nipped at my feet and the hard granite pressed against them. I looked up, out, away and now as I look back, I still cannot find a word to describe the island off the coast of Kotka, Finland, that I was standing on then. It was exactly three decades ago, in 1981. I have owned this small island in the Gulf of Finland since then, looking for that one word that would sum up its beauty, calm and bliss.

Situated near the mainland town of Kotak, reaching my island takes a motorboat journey of about an hour. Its first owners arrived here in the early 1970s, and built the first structure – a glass-fronted bungalow, which I have since then extended.

and you can lie cribbing through the night, waiting for the next trip to the civilisation. The reward, however, is far greater. It’s not just the city shoreline that I leave behind when I hop into the boat… I close myself to the mainland worries, the stress and the care. There is a sense of timelessness here, as if the universe has stopped for a breather. Construction work on the island was no mean task. The equipment and the material had to be brought in small quantities in a boat. I still remember how hard all of us had to work to bring in one large glass window pane. Then the buildings here need constant upkeep as they are

always exposed to the strong sea winds, fluctuating temperature between 30 degrees to -35 degrees Celsius, rain and snow. There is something for everyone here. A little fire in the stove can heat up the sauna, swimming in the sea is a perennial option, fishing is the fun sport and if nothing… you can always find a quiet corner to settle down with a book, as the sea continues to hum. Behind the cottage is a large forest, ideal not just for walks, but also for picking berries and mushrooms. A short boat-ride away is a delightful fishing island community. They run a dance restaurant, shops and a marina, which have become a favourite

Life here is heavenly, but that does not go to say there are no complications. With no supermarkets or corner stores, all necessities have to be brought here on a boat. Forget something

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3/31/2011 12:53:47 PM


ABOUT 2 ½ HOUR train journey

meeting place for neighbouring islanders, sailing and motorboat owners, as well as leisure sailors from across the world. Over time, we have extended the original villa. It now has rooms and huts to accommodate 15 guests. The dining area, adjoining the kitchen, has become larger. Then there is the outdoor terrace where we can barbeque – sizzling up some of the most delicious delights for the carnivore in us. Even as the night always seems a step away, every time I am here I never want to sleep late into the day. The breakfast on the smooth granite platform by the shoreline and the adventures of the island are far too inviting than merely lazying in bed. Often during the evenings we fry pancakes over a bonfire by the sea, sing songs and tell stories while the evening turns into a ‘nightless night’. Once our Indian guests stayed up all night to watch the ‘midnight sun’ of the Finnish ‘white night’ – when not too much time lapses between the dusk, dawn and sunrise.

The sole occupant of this 3,000 sq m island that snuggles Russian border, Sirpa is far from lonely here. The two-bedroom main cabin is complete with sun terraces and a luxurious sauna. Nestled in the calm waters of about 2-km long and half-km wide lake, the island is lined with ancient fir forest and thousands of silver birches. The nearest neighbours are a handful of farming people, living on small farmsteads alongside the village road, and the nearest house is about a kilometer away. That’s civilisation for Sirpa: The closest shops, post office and municipal services are in a village about 12 km away, and the distance to the main town and its rail station is about 35 km. But the shore is only a few hundred metres away from Sirpa’s house and you don’t need anything more than a rowing boat to reach it. There is no electricity from the main grid on the island, no piped water, no noisy generators. Power is harvested silently by solar panels, which, during summers, when the days are long and the sun hardly sets, generate enough electricity to run a small refrigerator, inverter and lights, laptop and mobile phones. The sauna is heated by timber from the nearby forests, and cooking is by bottled gas or a wood burning oven. The water in the lake is clean and fresh, but for human consumption there is also everbubbling spring whose waters are icy cold

even on hot summer days. There is no TV either. The ever-changing landscape with light and shadows, sunsets and drifting clouds and spells of rain, and the late summer clear starry skies reflected on the surface of the still lake provide a mesmerizing spectacle hardly matched by any electronic screen. The scent of wood smoke mixed with the scent of the forest lingers in the air. Tame ducks visit the shoreline. The same pair of swans returns year after year. Each year they give birth to a new brood of signets, and the family then majestically swans around the lake. Once the young ones are able to fly, they, like Sirpa herself, move to warmer climates before the onset of the winter and the arrival of ice and snow, only to return to the arrival of a new summer. Only the evertiresome mosquitoes are a reminder that one does not quite live in a perfect paradise!

FEATURES

from Finland’s capital Helsinki, near the sleepy town of Lemi, lies Sirpa SimonenPeck’s summer getaway. A successful Finnish ex-pat, Sirpa bought the piece of land in the middle of the sea 15 years ago: at that time, it cost her nothing more than the price of a luxury car.

Summers in Finland are short lived, some three months only, but they make up for it with intensity of light and vibrancy of nature with warm long days when the sun hardy sets below the horizon. Days on the island are spent leisurely, canoeing, fishing, taking sauna baths, swimming, picking wild berries and mushrooms in the forests, raiding the village library, “slow cooking” and visiting numerous local markets, art events and festival. Visitors arrive from many corners of the world, including India, and find their paradise in this modest and unsophisticated island in a virtually untouched forest. (Sirpa spends her summers in Finland and moves to Goa during winters and the UK during autumn. She can be reached at sirpa. in.goa@googlemail.com)

Recently I decided to share the beauty of my island with others and so have started to rent the cottage to individuals and groups for different events and courses such as yoga, painting weeks or silent retreats. My guests call this place “renewing” and “restoring”. Indeed, the mystical powers of this solitary granite-based piece of land has inspired my textile designs. My only regret, however, is that I have been unable to find the perfect word that describes this piece of heaven I possess. (Eija Rasinmäki can be reached at eija.rasinmaki@finarte.fi)

ISLAND STORY#47.indd 107

3/31/2011 12:53:53 PM


th i W S E N O H P h... and Type

h Dubey by Nimis

ToucOO LONG AGO, TOUCHSCREEN

rule. an the have th r e th n’t n ra NOTneTs were an exgcoebpbtioledegook.obYoileu pdhidone othtueral m en till pho in your Y was s d the ev QWERT choose from . The birth, an D BY E W much to e keypad size O L L O than th PHONE, F SED PHONoEbSil,e. i E H T F RISE O S ANDROIDif-tBinA all thingflsaremd soon GLdE’a paradigmucshhscreens that . The keypad GOO signalleattle of the to ke no mistakeones. For the ut ma m ph g of The b us all. B disappear frofford the feelin dle d e lf u g id en mpletely could a ise? A m didn’t cnoverts, nothingre a compromandsets now non-co eal keys. Is thewith a few hn for intuitive r yes, scree less typing. hitting P – touch erhaps rt ? t path g both options keys for effo . .. in ty caugnh, t n i r r io o t o j a sp a ig v m a n e he use and belong to t uchsthcerevery o t a u d o n six of s. So, if y n QWERTY ra y-pickesdt of both world r e e h e c w bet t. We have you the be fear noones that give best ph

108 | APRIL 11

TOUCHSCREEN AND KEYPAD PHONES#47.indd 108

3/31/2011 12:57:11 PM


GIZMO STREET

> HTC Desire Z ALTHOUGH BEST KNOWN FOR ITS ALLTOUCHSCREEN DEVICES, HTC has always had a decent array of touchscreen-QWERTY combos up its sleeves, such as the HTC Touch Pro. And the latest in this species is the Android-driven Desire Z. Running on Android 2.2, the Desire Z comes with a brilliant 3.7 inch touchscreen, a 800 Mhz processor, a 5.0-megapixel camera capable of shooting HD video and a number of connectivity options. But what really marks it out not just from the competition but other Android devices is its Sense interface running on top of Android. The interface allows you access to a number of shortcuts and widgets, making the entire experience a lot more pleasant

than the run-of-the-mill simpler ‘skins’ on other phones. The QWERTY keypad, it must be admitted is not quite in the same league as the E7, but is more than adequate for typing out long mails. The real squelcher on the deal, however, is the battery life, which tends to be on the shorter side, especially if you intend to use both Android and HTC Sense to the ultimate. What we love: Good design, integrating keypad with a large touchscreen. What we hate: The battery life, which lasts well short of a day if you turn on all the bells and whistles, especially on the Sense interface. Price: `25,990

109 | APRIL 11

TOUCHSCREEN AND KEYPAD PHONES#47.indd 109

3/31/2011 12:57:12 PM


> BlackBerry Torch 9800 BLACKBERRY’S ALL-TOUCH EXCURSIONS WITH THE STORM SERIES PROVED ONE THING – THAT MOST BLACKBERRY BOYS (AND GIRLS) REALLY LOVED THEIR KEYBOARDS. So, RIM decided to give all those who wanted a slice of the touchscreen action without giving up on their trusty BB keyboards the best of both worlds in the BlackBerry Torch. RIM threw in a new Operating System with better support for widgets and shortcuts as well as a 3.2 inch touchscreen with a trademark QWERTY keyboard below it, and added a very good 5.0-megapixel camera to the package for phone clickers. And best of all, it left its core strengths – amazing messaging, social network integration and e-mail totally unchanged. It remains the best device for social networking and mail addicts and packs in a battery life that is significantly better than most of the recharge-a-day touchscreen devices one gets to see these days. If we had to complain, it was about the price which (when allied with BB plans) was on the higher side and the fact that the keyboard was a bit on the smaller size, when compared with those on conventional BB devices. What we love: BlackBerry’s traditional messaging and mail strengths, on touch and type. Oh, and the camera rocks too! What we hate: A rather cramped QWERTY keyboard – we have been spoilt by other BBs, you see. Price: `29,990

> Motorola Milestone THE MILESTONE IS CONSIDERED BY MANY TO HAVE BEEN THE FIRST REAL CHALLENGER TO THE IPHONE AND ONCE YOU HAVE USED IT, YOU REALISE WHY. For even though the device is more than a year old and has only recently been upgraded to Android 2.2, it still operates very well indeed. The 3.7 inch touchscreen might not appear as bright and brilliant as some of its competitors and some might consider its 600 Mhz processor to be on the slower side for this day and age, the fact is you throw anything at this device, from mail to social networking to document editing, and it will handle it all with a degree of elan. Motorola’s interface is not as spectacular as HTC’s Sense or Samsung’s TouchWiz, but it is far simpler to use and most importantly, works at the rate of knots. The camera is decent, the screen wonderfully responsive, the keyboard very spacious

110 | APR APRIL RIL 11

TOUCHSCREEN AND KEYPAD PHONES#47.indd 110

3/31/2011 12:57:14 PM


GIZMO STREET

> Dell Venue Pro IF TECH SPECS WERE ALL THAT MATTERED, THE DELL VENUE PRO WOULD BE THE MASTER OF ALL IT SURVEYS IN THE TOUCHSCREEN-QWERTY CATEGORY. The device oozes muscle with a 1GHz processor, 4.0-inch AMOLED touchscreen, 5.0-megapixel camera,16GB of non-expandable storage, and a full QWERTY keyboard that slides out not from the side, but from under the display. Running on top of all this is Windows Phone 7, an Operating System that is remarkable for the speed and smoothness of its operation and its integration of Facebook and . The hardware quality is superb and the intricate patterns on the back of the display when the keyboard slides out add a touch of class to the phone. Its weaknesses, alas, are those of Windows Phone 7 – relatively low battery life, limited multi-tasking, absence of cut and paste, no apps or Xbox Live support for India (at the time of going to print), no instant messenger, and a browser which looks ordinary when compared to the likes of Safari and Chrome. Even though most of these will be addressed when Windows Phone 7 is officially launched in India, the price tag might prove to be a deterrent – you can get notebooks for less. What we love: Amazing Windows Phone 7 interface and 4.1 inch AMOLED display. What we hate: No cut and paste, no apps (as yet) and no multi-tasking – all Windows Phone 7 issues, really. The price is stiff too. Price: `34,990

indeed and the 480x854 resolution display is very good for browsing the Web (yes, Flash is now supported) and viewing video. This one is a true all-rounder, even though it is getting a bit long in the tooth. What we love: Simple interface and excellent performance across most parameters. The price has come down too! What we hate: The ordinary battery life – a recharge a day is a must with this device. Price: `22,000

111 | AP APRIL PRIL 11

TOUCHSCREEN AND KEYPAD PHONES#47.indd 111

3/31/2011 12:57:28 PM


> Nokia E7 THE LATEST IN THE LEGENDARY NOKIA COMMUNICATOR SERIES POSSESSES NOT ONLY THE TRADEMARK LARGE QWERTY KEYPAD OF ITS PREDECESSORS, which made many users compare it to an ultrasmall notebook, but also a 4-inch AMOLED touchscreen. Like all Communicators, the E7 is solidly built with a metal body and a scratch-proof display. And it is no shirker in terms of specs – it has the fastest processor seen on E Series devices, 16GB of storage space, every connectivity option you can think of, from 3G to Bluetooth to HDMI (you can even connect a USB memory stick to it to transfer information), and has a 8.0-megapixel camera capable of shooting HD video. It’s major flaw, unfortunately, is the Symbian ^3 operating system, which

while offering customisable home screens, a respectable number of apps and widgets, is not really in the same class as Android, iOS and Windows Phone 7. The camera also tends to disappoint as it has no auto-focus, understandable perhaps in a device targeted for enterprises three years ago, but rather strange in this day and age. That said, the touchscreen works brilliantly and the keypad has got to be one of the best ever seen on a smartphone – terrific for touch and type artistes. The battery also lasts comfortably for a day – rare in a device with such a large display. What we love: The rock solid design, decent battery life and large display. What we hate: The Symbian interface and the poor camera. Price: `29,990

112 | APRIL 11

TOUCHSCREEN AND KEYPAD PHONES#47.indd 112

3/31/2011 12:57:39 PM


> Sony Ericsson Xperia X10 Mini Pro THE SONY ERICSSON XPERIA MINI PRO MIGHT LITERALLY SEEM PINT-SIZED IN COMPARISON WITH SOME OF THE PHONES IN THIS LIST, but it is a formidable performer nevertheless. Yes, the screen is only 2.5 inches in size but as the iPod Nano recently proved, you do not need stacks of real estate display for a good touch experience – what the display lacks in size, it makes up with its sensitivity and performance. Sony Ericsson’s large icon overlay over Android 2.1 also helps in addressing most navigation tasks, but the real surprise is the remarkable full QWERTY keypad under the screen. It is a pleasure to

use notwithstanding its relatively small size. Top that up with a very good camera, good sound and a price tag that makes it one of the most affordable touchscreen-QWERTY devices in the market and you can see why we are still in love with the Xperia Mini Pro, more than a year after its launch. Who said size matters?! What we love: The incredibly compact form factor and very good camera. What we hate: The screen does get a bit too small for real touchscreen use at times. And Android 2.1 is looking a trifle old now Price: `13,800

113 | APRIL 11

TOUCHSCREEN AND KEYPAD PHONES#47.indd 113

3/31/2011 12:57:47 PM


by Ashish Bhatia

> Creative ZiiSound D5 Speaker System Price: `17,999 http://in.creative.com/

THIS IS A SOUND DOCK, YES. BUT IT BOASTS OF A COUPLE OF DIFFERENCES THAT SET IS APART FROM RUN-OF-THEMILL DOCKS. Here you don’t need to own an iPod or an iPhone to listen to it – you can use your phone, personal music player or netbook to stream music to it and that too wirelessly. So you can control the audio from anywhere in the room. ZiiSound connects to your device over Bluetooth. If you’re toting around an ancient laptop that doesn’t have Bluetooth, you can use a USB Bluetooth Transmitter (available separately) to hook up to the speakers. And if you have an iPod, iPhone or iPad, use the bundled detachable iPod Transmitter dongle. The ZiiSound is a spiffy and slick looking and well built “speaker bar”. It weighs 3.8kgs but looks compact with its slim dimensions (3.5 inches high by

16.7 inches wide by 4.3 inches deep). The minimalistic design ensures a no-fuss touch slide volume control panel on top and a Bluetooth connectivity button. In terms of performance, streaming with iPod transmitter works flawlessly as long as you stay within range. As you move away, the drop outs in the audio are evident. It’s the same if you send music playback to the background with an iPod Touch and try gaming or use the PMP for checking mail or Twitter or Facebook. Proximity to the dock is more critical when streaming over Bluetooth – well under the theoretical 30 feet distance in real life scenarios. Incidentally, the Zii supports the A2DP and AVRCP Bluetooth profiles. GSM-shielded speakers mean there was no static noise at all from the speaker when an iPhone is docked. And docking these devices also means you can charge them at the same time. As for sound output, the Zii is surprisingly good – loud and fairly bassy for its size. To compensate for the effects of Bluetooth compression, Creative has used an apt-x audio codec to good result. In fact, it is difficult to discern whether something is playing over Bluetooth or wireless. Overall, we liked what we heard. What we didn’t like, however, was the price.

> WD TV Live Hub Price: `11,990 www.wdc.com

SPECS

WHAT’S HOT

A full 1080p high-definition player cum Internet streaming hub, it has an in-built 2.5-inch, 1TB hard drive and supports multiple media (audio/video/picture) formats. It can stream various Internet video and audio services – including YouTube, Flickr, Flickr, Facebook, etc.– to your TV and supports a number of video codecs. An HDMI 1.4 out aside, the Hub features composite and component video/audio, optical, and Ethernet ports as well as a USB port on the rear panel. Another USB port is located in front for convenience.

As a high definition hard disk multimedia player that lets you play your movies, photos and music, and even stream Internet to your TV, the hub works beautifully. It can upscale standard def video to HD and works with both Windows and Mac platforms. The onscreen user interface is neat, snappy and easy to navigate. Most importantly, it is attractively priced.

WHAT’S NOT This digital media box lacks wireless connectivity: All Internet streaming has to be via Ethernet. Some of the more advanced options may baffle newbies. The text file names instead of thumbnails are a downer. Also, you can’t prop it up vertically to save shelf space.

VERDICT A very good deal for any movie buff. 114 | APRIL 11

REVIEWS#47.indd 114

3/31/2011 2:17:32 PM


http://is.gd/v3kC9D Price: To be announced

UNLIKE WHAT MANY THOUGHT, THE COMPUTER TABLET AS A FORM FACTOR IS UNARGUABLY HERE TO STAY. So HP, the world’s biggest PC company, is now readying to make its debut in the slate market with the TouchPad this June. It doesn’t look any different from the first iPad. With an all-black body with a multitouch 9.7-inch, 18-bit color, 1024x768 resolution display to match, it draws its power from a dual-core 1.2GHz Qualcomm Snapdragon processor, carries 16GB or 32GB internal storage and 1GB of memory (that’s almost four times as much RAM at the current market leader). And this means speed! A charger/microUSB connector, frontfacing 1.3-megapixel webcam for live video calling, light sensor, accelerometer, compass, gyroscope, Wifi, 3G, Bluetooth, A-GPS (3G models only), internal stereo speakers, and 3.5mm stereo headset/ mic jack are all there. The battery life is rated at 8 hours. And ah, it has wireless charging too. The TouchPad runs HP webOS 3.0. A proprietary mobile operating system, webOS was developed by Palm and acquired by HP last year. The slick and well-designed mobile OS offers certain inherent advantages that are worth noting. Most obvious is ease with which you can swipe between active programs and also kill them. It can instantly sync to your Palm Pre 3 phone – and wirelessly. (Yes, it means you must also buy the phone!) This goes

> Garmin Asus A10 Price: `12,990

SPECS 3.2 HVGA TFT 320x480 pixel 256K colour capacitive touchscreen, Qualcomm GPSOne G7 (A-GPS and standalone GPS supported), Android 2.1 operating system, 5-megapixel camera, 1500 mAh battery, Wi-Fi, 3G, Bluetooth, microUSB connectivity.

for documents, music files, websites etc. that need to be transferred from one device to the other. So if you visit a website on your phone and then want to view it on the TouchPad, you only need to touch your Pre 3 to the TouchPad’s sensor. The slate will immediately open the same URL. Likewise, you can also synergise your contacts and calendars, and receive SMSs and phone calls on your TouchPad which also offers integrated IM and texting features.

GIZMO STREET

> HP TouchPad and WebOS

No one-size-suits-all virtual keyboard here. The TouchPad offers four different keyboard sizes and always includes a row of number keys (as on a regular keyboard) for ease of use. A Just Type feature lets you start typing without launching a program – be it mail, Facebook or Twitter update or an SMS. Then, instead of making you interrupt your work to check incoming mail and messages, the TouchPad has a dedicated bar at the top of the screen for notifications. Icons here tell you about mail and SMSes received. You can tap on a notification icon to access the message in a pop-up without relinquishing sight of your main application window. HP has yet to announce pricing. But keeping the current market scenario, you can expect it to be competitive. What is more important is how HP is able to nurture and nourish the ever increasing and highly competitive app market and the whole TouchPad/webOS ecosystem.

`2,200 for that. The battery life is pretty commendable for a touchscreen smartphone while using GPS and even otherwise. No complaints with the audio and video players which play almost everything you chuck at them. The camera offers geo-tagging too.

WHAT’S NOT WHAT’S HOT The A10 has a nice user-interface skin, good build, is efficient at multitasking and offers decent internal memory with the option to beef it up to 16 gigs via microSD support. ONe of its stellar featurea include its excellent GPS. And then there’s a sturdy powered car speaker and windshield mount kit. But you need to shell out an additional

REVIEWS#47.indd 115

It still runs an older version of Android. There is a laggy response from the keyboard at times. A camera flash is sorely missed as is a voice recorder. It has 3G but lacks a front facing camera which could be useful for face to face chats.

VERDICT A good buy if you’re lost with a GPS. But we do wish that nifty car mount kit was included in the price though!

3/31/2011 2:17:36 PM


by Zahid H. Javali

THE SIMPLE DOLLAR

MATT BITES

http://www.thesimpledollar.com p p

Mattbites.com attb tes.co

THIS blog makes personal finance digestible. Brings sense into cents and helps fight debt and bad spending habits. Pray how? By showing simple ways to manage your finances and save a little money on the side. So you can afford a latte or two. One mustread piece is ‘31 days to fix your finances’. It is all about figuring out what you want out of life and reorganising your finances to make it happen. Trent Hamm started this blog in April 2006 after going through a complete financial meltdown (read his ‘financial biography’ on the site) and paying off his entire debt in eight months. This blog showcases lessons learnt, so you don’t have to.

DMARGE

http://www.dmarge.com p g

MATT Armendariz says people who cook and feed others are some of the most giving and open people on the planet. Matt believes that food unites us all. Immersed in food for the last 20 years, his food blog made The New Yorker and The Times sit up and take a good look. High and low, near and far, food and flavour have always captivated this former graphic designer and art director. Taking pictures of food and blogging since 2005, Matt also conducts workshops on food photography and food styling at conferences, schools and colleges. His first cookbook On A Stick! will be released in May 2011.

THE AWESOMER

http://theawesomer.com p

TELEVISIONARY BLOG

http://www.televisionaryblog.com p y g

WHAT’S new in the iPad 2? If you

WHAT initially began as a technology

WHAT’S next? Game of Thrones.

are reading this blog, you’d know it’s 30% thinner, has an HD camera (both front and rear), works twice as fast and comes with a very handy ‘smart cover’ that magnetically snaps onto the device. Melbourne man Luc Wiesman blogs on styles for men. And iPad 2 makes the cut. So does the duffel bag and men’s perfumes. Says Wiesman: “If you like Comme Des Garcons, Donna Karen - Fuel For Men or other ‘amber’ type fragrances, you’ll like Rocky Mountain Wood from David Jones.” Wiesman heads digital strategy at George Patterson Y&R, Australia’s award-winning ad agency and is a producer/remixer with the music band, Duosseudo.

shopping blog is today a video log on anything that’s awesome for men. And that includes gadgets, news, clothing and video games. The more interesting, funky and goofy, the better. Like jetpack skiing and 3D screw portraits. And how do they do that? By mining the internet’s many blogs, online stores and social media sites. The effort has paid off. Launched in August 2008, The Awesomer is now averaging over 2.3 million page views and 1,000,000 visits a month. With over 10,000 stories online, the site has been linked by the best in cyberspace: Gizmodo, Boing Boing and PC Magazine, among others.

What’s tonight? A new episode of Fringe, Supernatural, Blue Bloods, Law & Order and The Defenders. If you are the sort who’s hooked to TV soaps being beamed in the US and UK, here’s your chance to stay up to date, thanks to this blog by TV columnist Jace Lacob. This award-winning TV website has news, views, reviews and interviews of the last five years and counting. A member of the Television Critics Association, Lacob has been on the other side. He was in the industry for more than seven years, in development, co-productions and acquisitions. That makes him give a wellrounded opinion on all things Idiot Box.

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GIZMO STREET

by Zahid H. Javali

MOBYKO

LEGAL SERVICE INDIA

www.mobyko.com y

http://www.legalserviceindia.com ttp: p . ega g se ce d a.co

CELLPHONES are the backbone of every business networking individual. Therefore, keeping your mobile life safe comes first on the agenda of Mobyko. How does it manage that? Well, it allows you to back up, manage, organise and even share your phone data online. And it’s free for all – who doesn’t like freebies? What’s more, you can stay connected with all those who figure in your phonebook by sending them an SMS from your Mac or PC. And it’s done without downloads, software or wires. Alpha males like it that way – no pain, still gain.

SCLIPO

DONE something dodgy? Need to sue someone? Make a claim? Make a will? Or get divorced? This site provides all the legal resources you need, with sections on immigration, income tax, consumer law and much more. It’s also a place to know law and lawyers, evaluate the men in black and know your legal options. It’s the web’s largest legal directory as well. If you happen to be a lawyer, you can showcase your credentials here. Freebies include a stamp duty calculator, court room jokes, directory of law colleges and free downloads of legal forms, visas, arbitration and the like. What’s more, you can even register your copyright here.

HOW STUFF WORKS

www.sclipo.com p

www.howstuffworks.com

ASK AN OWNER www.askanowner.com

READING instructions are boring.

IT gives you ten ways to finance a new

THINKING of buying a sat-nav

That’s why there are videos. Want to know how to defend yourself against a gun attack or how to open a beer bottle with a piece of paper? Don’t read about it. Check it out on one of these ‘how to’ videos. From how to install programs on your computers to making a flame thrower from a water gun, this social learning network has it all. What’s more, it connects you with people of common interests. Double the fun.

business and how to create a home office. It tells you how mortgages work. It will even reveal if antibacterial soap is any better than regular soap. This website tells you everything. It also lists essential gadgets and how to get the most from your digital camera. And there are less practical but purely fascinating topics, such as how Black Hawk helicopters work. So the next time, someone asks you who has been your greatest influence, tell them not to ask, because ‘a lion is made up of the lambs he’s digested, and I’ve been reading all my life.’

system, DAB radio or MP3 player, but don’t know which to choose? Don’t trust the marketing sales pitch of salesmen and manufacturers? Then ask people who already bought the stuff. This website allows you to send questions directly to people who have hands-on experience with exactly the product, the service, the place, or the choice in life that you are interested in – for free! A simple, but clever idea that will help you make an informed choice on how to live. Why? Because this site is a living, breathing manual on life itself.

(Zahid H. Javali is the co-author of Mind Blogs 1.0, a paperback that is pioneering a new art form – converting a blog into a book. If you are a blogger and want your piece to figure in the book’s sequel, visit mindblogs1.wordpress.com)

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3/31/2011 1:02:28 PM


Hari Nair turns into a y on the wall to zoom in on the calender for Karma behind-the-scene fun at the shoot for a calendar Models Management in Rishikesh and Dehradun. Styling: Aaditya Walia; Assisted by: Dhwani; Hair & make-up: Anand Kaira; Production: Vikram Rana at Brief Production; Models: Mary, Zaklina, Kristina, Yana, Charlotte, Polina, Comfort, Francois, Veeru, Shekhar; Model courtesy: Karma Models

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(From left to right) ON SHEKHAR: T-SHIRT BY ZARA >> `1590 // ON ZAKLINA: GREY GANJI BY DKNY >> `4,900; PINK JACKET BY ZARA >> `8,990 // ON COMFORT: DENIM DUNGAREES BY FOREVER 21 >> `1,449; PINK VEST TOP BY ZARA >> `1390 // ON FRANCOIS: PRINTED TEE BY UCB >> `1099; DENIMS BY DIESEL >> `21,245; BELT BY JACK & JONES >> `2196 // ON POLINA: TEE BY VERO MODA >> `845; DENIMS BY MARKS AND SPENCER >> `1695 // ON MARY: SHIRT BY UCB >> `1,99

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ON POLINA: FLORAL JUMPSUIT BY FOREVER NEW >> `2600; HAT BY ZARA >> `890 // ON CHARLOTTE: DRESS BY FOREVER NEW >> `3,000

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ON FRANCOIS: T SHIRT BY UCB >> `1099; DISTRESSED DENIM BY DIESEL >> `21,245; WRIST BAND BY JACK & JONES >> ` 1145; BELT BY JACK & JONES >> `2195 // ON MARY: CROPPED GANJI BY DIESEL >> `3895; DISCHARGE DENIM BY FOREVER 21 >> `1999; CHECK SCARF BY JACK & JONES >> `795; HAIR BAND BY ZARA >> `690; CUFF PIECES BY VERO MODA >> `745 // ON POLINA: GANJI BY DIESEL >> `2595; DENIMS BY MARKS AND SPENCER >> `1695; VEST BY VERO MODA >> `1995; HAT BY ZARA >> `890; NECKPIECE BY VERO MODA >> `1145

124 | MARCH 11

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ON YANA: STRIPED BIKINI BY KUNCHALS >> RS1995 // ON KRISTINA: BLACK SWIMSUIT BY MARKS & SPENCER >> RS 2995; ON FRANCOIS: TREATMENT DENIMS BY UCB >> RS2799

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ON FRANCOIS: WHARF JACKET BY TIMBERLAND >> RS16,990; DENIMS BY DIESEL >> RS21,245; BELT BY TIMBERLAND >> RS2990 // ON ZAKLINA TOP BY FOREVER NEW >> RS1440; LEATHER SKIRT BY ZARA >> RS4590

128 | MARCH 11

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STOCKISTS >>DIESEL Western Wind Building, Juhu Tara Road, Juhu, Mumbai. Tel: (022) 26618282 DKNY Shop no.222 Emporio Mall Nelson madela Marg, vasant Kunj New Delhi Tel: (011) 46040753 >>FOREVER NEW Shop No 6,1ST Floor Skyzone Phoenix Mills Compound Senapati Bapat Marg Lower Parel, Mumbai Tel:(022) 40040279, 40040289

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STOCKISTS

GREY VEST >> `999// GREY AND BROWN LINEN SHIRT >> `3499// BEIGE PANTS >> `3499 // BROWN SUEDE LOAFERS >> `7499

FOREVER 21 Ambience mall,Vasant Kunj,New Delhi Tel :(011) 40870521 >>GOD MADE ME FUNKY Hira Villa Apts, 3 Pali Road Bandra,Mumbai Tel: (022) 26407893 >>JACK & JONES Oberoi Mall,Shop No G-22 Western Express Highway Goregaon [E] Mumbai Tel: (022) 40211646 >>KUNCHALS M-14, Main Market GK Part 1, New Delhi Tel: (011) 26412474

>>MARKS & SPENCER Dlf Place mall,Saket,New Delhi Tel:(011) 46075440/41 >>THE COLLECTIVE Shop No. 1, Second Floor The Palladium Mall, High Street Phoenix Lower Parel, Mumbai Tel: (022) 43438888 TRĂˆSMODE Shop 10, First Floor 1 High Street Phoenix 462, Senapati Bapat Road Lower Parel (W),Mumbai Tel: (022) 24913515 TIMBERLAND STORE Ambiance Mall Vasant Kunj New Delhi Tel: (011) 40870061

TOMMY HILFIGER Ground Floor, Select City Walk Saket, New Delhi Tel: (011) 40588770 Raheja Chambers, Linking and Main Avenue Road Santacruz (W), Mumbai Tel: (022) 65567267 >>VERO MODA DLF Place Mall Saket New Delhi Tel: (011) 46160904 >> ZARA DLF Promenade, Vasant Kunj Nelson Mandela Marg New Delhi. Tel: (011) 41057408 Zara Store, Palladium Mall Lower Parel, Mumbai www.zara.com

WHITE AND BLUE STRIPED TRIM FIT POLO SHIRT >> `1,999// STRIPED POCKET SQUARE >> `999// BLUE LINEN JACKET BY SAND FROM THE COLLECTIVE

Photographs by Dabboo Ratnani 131 | APRIL 11

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LAST LAUGH

April Flu by Bijoy Venugopal

T

hirty years ago, I discovered that chicken pox was not an April Fool prank that wears off in a hurry. When I was returned to the world pockmarked and dreadful as the friendly neighbourhood infected scab dispenser, the summer vacation had burned down to the wick. The nerds who passed for my friends had been banished indoors by their chaperoning mothers. Holiday homework. Would you believe that? Destination IIT, at age seven. Every year thereon was a similar story. Before the season’s first squirrel-felled mango smacked upon my head the resigned enlightenment that (thanks to gravity) I’d never be Superman, April embraced me with fresh pathogens to stymie my vacation plans. When I outgrew my share of explosive diarrhoeas, fabulous fevers and the mandatory M&Ms (measles and mumps), April took on a harder edge. Little did I know that Newton, a seemingly affable gent who whiled away the balmy English summer watching apples topple, had withheld from us his ugly alter-ego.

Reconciliation usually follows anguish. I’d look at the clock and wonder what time it was in Mexico – wait, let’s reserve that for the Geography paper. Back to the immediate physicality of Physics. Surely something wasn’t right. Why is half of this paper in Greek? Do I have the right to a translator? Come on, this has to be the wrong question paper, for the wrong exam, on the wrong day, at the wrong centre, on the wrong planet... Three hours is an awfully long time to expend on a wish-fulfilling reverie, so I’d eventually lower myself to earth (Gravity, you see, had not yet left the building). Specifically, to the here and the now (Time was fast running out). And what of Space? Well, a great empty example of the aforesaid quantity was mushroom-clouding inside my head.

With every summer vacation, illness steeled my immune system for the roughest ride. I soon ran out of fevers but the heat was still on. April, as you might recall, is the month that coldhearted educators chose to tame us into submission. Final Exams: Try saying that phrase slowly, imagining the angry heat rashes and searing sweat burns that the Indian summer inflicts (to top, imagine a global ban on Nycil – and we’re in business). Done? Now, dwell on the hopeless fatality of each word. Final. Exam. If you are sufficiently human, you will shudder. Why, Roger Waters did. No dark sarcasm there.

successfully pulverise the fine bones of his writing wrist. Triumphant, his arm in a cast, he exercised his right to a scribe. I watched in jealous amazement as he smugly enlisted the services of a Class IX topper. Drat – my idea, and I couldn’t even sue him for copyright breach.

Comforted by my serendipitous grasp of concepts, I attempted to make whatever sense was possible of those cryptic symbols on the question paper. A queasy I-want-to-go-homeness whirling in the pit of my stomach made them appear all the more alien. Ergs. Joules. Ohms. Lumens. How totally George Lucasian! Funnily enough, the force stayed with me. I light-sabred my way through high school even as my classmate’s scribe, exercising integrity over brotherhood, led him to an ignominious fall. Ah well, Newton and his bad apples. Photogra

ph: Dream

stime

I sat on a hard bench clenching my sphincter as I tried to comprehend the exquisitely bewildering calligraphy on the physics question paper (the roots of my haemorrhoids run deep). If April, as Eliot declared, was the cruellest month, this question paper was a shimmering work of bloodless cruelty. A poison-tipped dart from an embittered pedagogue’s scheming blowpipe. Designed to shock and awe, then numb and maim. I felt a febrile longing for the cherished fevers and diarrhoeas of my childhood. What, I pondered, were the possibilities that I could summon up remembrances of maladies past? Could I contract a most malignant form of instantaneously devastating cancer by shredding and swallowing a copy of Clark’s Tables? What would it take now, this moment, to crumple to the ground in a sorry multiple-sclerotic mess of bloody, incontinent intestines? Would scraping my instep with a broken foot-ruler endow me with tetanus? Why was I too young to have a heart attack? Why did they eradicate smallpox before my time? Oh, what I’d do now for a few fluid-filled abscesses! These fantasies, which I vocalised in public, inspired a classmate to

Swiftly flew the years. Delivered into adulthood in certifiably sane condition, I imagined that my demons now belonged in the past. My childhood friends, having aced their ways through the temples of modern India (they now swear by Chetan Bhagat, no less), now sat hunched before diminutive laptops crunching numbers for Fortune-1000 body-shops. Attending a PTA meeting at my daughter’s kindergarten class, I slipped into conversation with her classmate’s parents – he from IIT, she from IIM. “Freelance writer, is it?” she asked when I handed her my card. “Interesting.” The subtext of that really meant: “Wait till she starts studying Physics, you hippy dork.” A chill washed over me – perhaps it’s another April Flu! Send us your feedback at feedback@imagesfashion.com

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3/31/2011 1:15:30 PM


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