Inclusion

Holidays Serve as a Support System

Breathe a sigh of relief, spring is upon us! Sometime in April and May, we will again see trees with leaves, flowers in bloom, and the warm sunshine. We’ll again shed our winter coats and spend time with others outside, although still with masks and staying socially distanced.

April is filled with many Jewish holidays: Passover (the Exodus from Egypt) goes from March 27-April 4t, Yom HaShoah (Holocaust Remembrance Day) is April 8, Yom HaZikaron (Israel’s Memorial Day) is April 14 and it rolls into Yom HaAtzma’ut (Israel’s Independence Day) on April 15. Shavuot (Commemoration of the Giving of the Torah) arrives May 17–18. During seven weeks between Passover and Shavuot, we count the Omer every evening, starting the second night of Passover until the night before Shavuot.

We have been facing the pandemic since last March. These holidays support us so we don’t get lost in the days, weeks, and months that roll into each other. Our daily minyanim, Wednesday morning breakfasts with learning, Shabbat, and h . agim serve as an anchor. The Omer serves this purpose as well. Many people find ways to creatively draw or write each night, reminding them another day has gone by and a new day has begun.

Each of these holidays serve as an example of Inclusion. All Jews leave Egypt together without allowing anyone to be left behind, ensuring the elderly and those with disabilities were included. Remembrance of the lives that were cut short in the Holocaust, included all who had disabilities and were killed in hiding, in ghettos and in concentration camps. Israel’s Memorial Day is a day for remembering the many people lost through wars and terrorist killings. Israeli soldiers, including those soldiers with special needs, stand to honor those who are no longer among them. Independence Day is historic, when Israel became a country, May 14, 1948, just 73 years ago. I have been in Israel on Independence Day and have always been heartened by the many ways individuals with special needs are included by families and friends to participate in this holiday together.

As we breathe in the spring air, consider how resilient we have been. We acknowledge the resilience of Emunah families that include those with special needs. We are especially thankful to CJP and the Ruderman Synagogue Inclusion Project for their support of our programs, offered over the years, enabling Temple Emunah to be an inclusive community. Sandy Miller-Jacobs Chair, Inclusion Committee sandymj@gmail.com

Devastation

I recently read two obituaries that made me very sad: the first was for Thomas Raskin, 25, son of Rep. Jamie Raskin and his wife Sarah Bloom Raskin, and the second was for “Jane Doe,” 26, child of a physician and a judge. They died within days of each other. Each was born into a wonderful and loving family but each of them suffered from mental illness. Thomas wrote on New Years’ Eve that he was hurting so much that the only way out was to take his own life. Jane died on January 9 of an overdose after more than a year of sobriety.

I didn’t know Thomas or his family. Neither did I know Jane but I did know her family. Her paternal great-grandparents were friends of my parents. Her great-grandfather was a judge. His wife was a community leader who throughout her adult life helped those in need and worked for a more just society. She and my mother worked together as leaders of several Jewish organizations. I know Jane’s grandparents and at one time reconnected with one of the sisters of Jane’s grandfather. Jane was an extremely creative and talented young woman. She was an artist as well as a musician who had a beautiful voice and could play multiple instruments. She was adventurous, hitchhiking and train hopping across the country several times and opting at times to live on the streets. She had great compassion for the homeless and encouraged others to demonstrate similar compassion.

I only knew of Rep. Jamie Raskin. We all know him much better now. He too works for a more just society, as did his son. According to his Dad, Thomas had a “…perfect soul and a dazzling mind.”

I assume that both of these young adults had access to the best therapy available. And yet, neither was able to overcome this illness. What about those who live in circumstances where good care is not available to them? In addition to issues of racial justice, calls to police from families in distress often lead to a response by officers without the assistance of mental health professionals. It is too often the case that the member of the family acting out is injured or even killed rather than treated in a way to diminish her or his anguish. We have a long way to go for mental health parity and accepting the very great need for a stronger mental health system. Yes, we have better pharmaceutical treatments now, but that is clearly not enough.

My family also includes young people who suffer from depression. There have been times when the parents of one could not leave her/him alone in the house. That person seems to be coping better now, but who really knows. Another young adult has had serious addiction issues and has been in various rehab programs and I’m told they are okay, but I’m not sure whether or not that is true.

My heart goes out to the Raskin and “Doe” families. I often think about members of my family who live every day with concern about the young people they love so much. If either one suffered the ultimate harm, their immediate families would be devastated and so would I. Elizabeth Pressman

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Many of you have asked to learn more about my father’s life and I hope to share videos and articles about him with you. Since in the days after his death, the Rabbinical Assembly was publishing its annual booklet of the rabbis who died in the previous year, my family wrote the following summary of my father’s life. I hope you find it enlightening, shedding light on his life and in many ways, you can see the way he is the foundation of the rabbi I am and am still becoming.

Rabbi Stephen C. Lerner

The child of immigrants who came to the U.S. after World War I, Rabbi Lerner was a son of the Bronx – and let everyone know it. A graduate of the prestigious Bronx High School of Science, he earned his BA at Columbia College in 1960, graduating Phi Beta Kappa. While at Columbia he served as editorials editor of the Columbia Daily Spectator. After graduation, inspired by Dr. Morton Smith, he received a fellowship at the University of Iowa to study ancient history. There he encountered Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel, who was a visiting professor at the university that year. With Heschel’s encouragement, he decided to apply to rabbinical school at The Jewish Theological Seminary where he was ordained in 1967. During his years in New York, he spent a summer at Ramah, where campers and staff alike recall his down-to-earth personality and knowledge of text; in other summers he drove a New York City taxicab, and his taxi driver’s license remained a lifelong point of pride.

When Rabbi Lerner was ordained, graduates of JTS entered the military chaplaincy or took “hardship” pulpits in smaller communities. Rabbi Lerner assumed what was deemed a hardship pulpit, Temple Israel in Riverhead, NY. Two years later, he became the rabbi of Town & Village Synagogue in Lower Manhattan. Convinced of the need to move toward greater inclusion of women in synagogue life, he undertook the challenge of making the congregation egalitarian, despite significant opposition from the synagogue’s board. Due to his leadership, T&V became one of the first egalitarian synagogues in the Conservative Movement. While at T&V, he founded a draft counseling service at the synagogue during the height of the Vietnam War. Most importantly, during a visit to the JTS sukkah shortly after he arrived at T&V, he met a new faculty member named Anne Lapidus. They married in February of 1970.

After serving T&V for eight years, Rabbi Lerner assumed the pulpit of the Jewish Community Center of West Hempstead on Long Island in 1977 and in 1980 became the rabbi of Temple Emanuel of Ridgefield Park, NJ, later named Kanfei Shahar. His boundless energy, and his desire to encourage those curious about Judaism to join the fold, blossomed into the Center for Conversion to Judaism which he formally established in 1981. It is now housed at Town & Village Synagogue. Over the course of more than four decades, Rabbi Lerner brought more than 1,800 new individuals to the Jewish people and in many cases re-energized their partners’ commitment to Judaism. The Lerner family welcomed many of his students and congregants into their home over the years, enabling them to experience the warmth and richness of Jewish life.

Rabbi Lerner served the Rabbinical Assembly in several capacities. He was associate editor of Conservative Judaism under Rabbi Harold Kushner from 1972-1974, and then served as editor himself from 1974-1977. He authored two seminal articles in the journal in the early 70s: “The Havurot” (1970) and “Ramah and its Critics” (1971). He served as program director of the RA in 1981-1982 and chaired the Gerut Committee, 1982-1986. He was deeply committed to the continuing education of rabbis. In 1975, he chaired the RA kallah and over the following decades he mentored many rabbis who served as his interns, worked with him on batei din, and otherwise encountered him in the course of his work. In recognition of his years of service, JTS awarded him a Doctor of Divinity, honoris causa, in 1992.

He loved baseball and was an avid Mets fan. He attributed his preference for the Mets over the Bronx-based Yankees to a Jewish imperative to root for the underdog. He took great pride that the New York Times published his article entitled “Views of Sport: Johnny Mize and the Birth of a Baseball Fan” in 1981, on the occasion of the election of his hero to the Baseball Hall of Fame. He also could not pass by a good kosher deli or bakery. The Second Avenue Deli in its original location was only a stone’s throw away from Town & Village Synagogue. In 1974, Rabbi Lerner was even featured in an article in the Times when the deli set its prices back to its opening year, 1954, in honor of its 20th anniversary. Rabbi Lerner’s passions were not limited to baseball and Jewish food; he was equally knowledgeable and enthusiastic about North American mammals, Broadway theater, film (he may have been the only rabbi to subscribe to Variety, the movie trade weekly), northeastern trees, and a diverse range of other subjects.

Above all, Rabbi Lerner loved his family deeply. As many reading this biography know, his wife, Anne, is an accomplished scholar of Hebrew literature. Although not generally lavish with praise, he heaped accolades on Anne at every opportunity and shouted his admiration for her from the rooftops. He was equally proud of his children and their spouses. Again, David, our colleague, in his eulogy pronounced, “After he read a Rosh Hashanah sermon of mine about ten years ago, he wrote me a succinct email, ‘David, one of the loveliest sermons I have ever read. Your spiritual health seems in pretty good shape.’ Due to COVID and our Zoom services, for the first time, he got to join me for the High Holy Days in our shul. That meant the world to me and as he told me, to him as well.”

May his memory be for a blessing. Rabbi David Lerner