2011.05.04

THE UNIVERS UNIVERSITY OF WISCONSIN’S INDEPENDENT STUDENT NEWSPAPER SINCE 1969 WEDNESDAY, MAY 4, 2011

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VOLUME XLII, ISSUE 138

ARTS |BOOK REVIEW

OPINION | EDITORIAL

ARTS | SPOT ON

Who’s the boss?

Wh

To fix Mifflin, educate students, then give it back to them page 7

Madison-made indie film ‘Dead of the Night’ reawakens strong leading lady role page 10

Tina Fey unapologetically bears it all with typical hilarious prose in her heartfelt ‘Bossypants’ memoir page 9 hilari

UW System’s future unsure Teaching Assistants’ Association forum reveals critical ideas on controversial plan to split Madison campus from system Matt Huppert Campus Reporter Tempers flared during a panel debate Tuesday as multiple groups who have been outspoken opponents to the New Badger Partnership united to question the future of the University of Wisconsin System.

During the debate, which was hosted by the Teaching Assistants’ Association, Chancellor Biddy Martin debated with UW System and United Council representatives to advocate the New Badger Partnership, saying the proposal would serve to preserve the campus’s status as an internationally dominant research university rather than damage the other system Jacob Schwoerer The Badger Herald campuses.

Opponents UW professor Murray Clayton joined UW System representatives and Chancellor Biddy Martin in a critical forum on the New Badger Partnership of the plan maintain that hosted by the Teaching Assistants’ Association. Panelists questioned whether the proposal would prove detrimental to other system campuses. public authority status for

the campus will weaken collaboration between campuses and, in turn, hurt the university’s tradition of affordability for Wisconsin residents.

“Going forward with the New Badger Partnership would isolate Madison not only from other UW campuses but from many of the political players in the state,” UW-Baraboo-Sauk County Dean Tom Pleger said. “It will damage this university.”

Pleger, a UW-Madison alum, said smaller schools within the UW System such as his campus stand with more to lose should the proposal in the governor’s budget be approved by the Legislature than if UWMadison remains a member of the system. Under criticism from the panel’s

UW SYSTEM, page 2

Recall campaign leaders say Democrats harassing supporters Number of citizens against Sen. Hansen report excess of phone calls from Dems Maggie Sams News Reporter The campaign to recall a Green Bay state senator filed a temporary restraining order against the Democratic Party of Wisconsin Tuesday

morning in a Brown County court, alleging the party made harassing phone calls.

The campaign filed their petition against Sen. Dave Hansen, D-Green Bay, on April 21 with nearly 5,000 more signatures than the required 13,852. The restraining order was filed 11 days later in response to petitioners’ claims that

they have been receiving unwelcome calls from DPW members questioning the eligibility of their signatures.

According to the Recall Dave Hansen Campaign Manager David Vander Leest, many of these citizens felt so harassed and intimidated that they had to call the police.

“These calls have been

made to a majority of citizens who have signed the recall petition. Some have been called more than six times,” Vander Leest said. “The Democratic Party of Wisconsin senses any weakness, and they will call multiple times.”

Many stated the callers would begin the conversation with, “I know your full name and address,

can you please validate your signature on this recall petition?” Vander Leest said.

He added the people contacted by the DPW told him they were harassed in other ways, not just repeated calling, he said.

Leaders of the Democratic Party of Wisconsin said they rejected Vander Leest’s accusations

and claim that the telephone calls were made respectfully, politely and only after numerous reports concerning the integrity of the signatures on the petitions were voiced.

“We have called people to confirm their votes. It is in no way harassing.

RECALL, page 5

Concerns over race arise in some city bars As Madison’s hip hop community grows, some citizens, city officials say not enough places exist for subculture to thrive Adelaide Blanchard News Content Editor R’ Place gives an OK first impression. Some regulars buzz in the corner, telling stories about their day as they sip their drinks. There is a game on TV and the liquor cabinet is fairly stocked. On an early Thursday evening in March, it’s nice, but nothing exceptionally remarkable or out of the ordinary.

But R’ Place’s owner Rick Flowers has a problem.

The south side bar recently defended its alcohol license to the city’s Alcohol License Review Committee after violent incidents in recent months, including fights and gunfire. However, Flowers said he thinks threats to the bar ’s existence are rooted in racism — not with any potential safety problems within the establishment.

Flowers is currently in the process of making his case to the committee, but in the meantime, he said his bar ’s troubles with the city have driven away clientele and staff from one of the only “Afrocentric” establishments in Madison — a city that is trying to “strangle the life” out of him.

He said bars that cater to the black community are few and far between in Madison, and the lack could be detrimental to diversity. He added there are 26 black churches in the area, and there should

be just as many bars.

“Madison can’t attract a young black teacher because nobody wants to live here. Black students from [the University of Wisconsin] get out of Madison,” Flowers said.

“There’s nothing to do.”

Hip hop in Madison Flowers’ bar has a regular older clientele that does not always gel with a younger crowd.

Flowers argues young patrons might come to R’ Place when the venues they normally go to close down. Often those places are the ones that offer hip hop.

Even though the city’s hip hop offering is not big, the market exists for it.

“Quite honestly, live music entertainment … is lacking in the city.

People would like more venues to listen to hip hop,” said Mark Woulf, the city’s Alcohol Policy Coordinator.

At the moment, UW acts as a relatively large hot spot for the hip hop scene. Danez Smith, a UW student and First Wave member, said the hip hop culture, even though it is small now, has grown since he got to campus in 2007.

“I think students would be surprised to see how much good hip hop is coming out of Madison right now. As people keep on making music, the local scene is going to continue to grow. I think it’s bigger than it used to be, and I just think it’s going to get bigger,” Smith said.

Jacob Schwoerer The Badger Herald file photo

R’ Place owner Rick Flowers, right, appears before ALRC to explain why the bar should keep its liquor license after several violent incidents.

Phasing out the music Charlie “Sleepy” Campbell is a Madison MC whose lyrics and poetry tend to veer from the mainstream hip hop most people are familiar with. He has performed “all over the place,” and has had no problems at his shows, but he said not every artist is so lucky.

Hip hop, Campbell said, often gets equated with violence.

“I know some bars, ask them to play hip hop and they’ll look at you like you’re crazy. I don’t think it’s so much the music.

It is a few individuals making bad choices and it gets translated to hip hop,” Campbell said.

Violent incidents have caused at least one city venue to phase hip

hop out of their offered entertainment.

Frida’s Mexican Grill on State Street used to have Club Frida on weekends, which was open to the public after they were done with regular dinner service for the night. Friday was salsa night and Saturday was hip hop night.

Saturday nights were the times when Club Frida would get packed, manager Sam Lambert said.

There were several incidences of violence during the club nights that attracted the attention of the city, and officials instituted a plan for Frida’s to follow

BARS, page 6

© 2011 BADGER HERALD

Jake Naughton The Badger Herald file photo

After some incidents, Frida’s on State Street decided to shut down its weekend hip hop dance parties known as Club Frida.

Page 2, WEDNESDAY, MAY 4, 2011

Correction Due to a reporting error, the May 3 article “UW faculty endorse public authority model” attribute quotes from Harold Tobin and Ronald Kalil to John Coleman. We regret the error.

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NEWS

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TODAY

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63 42

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sunny

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Where your vending machine dollars go Students toss loose change in UW’s machines on daily basis, but few know money totals almost half million dollars annually Gillian Losh Senior News Reporter Be it candy, gum or soda, UW brought in almost $500,000 in profit through vending last year, but where that money goes is a little more complicated.

Who gets the vending commissions, and what they go toward, is part of a little-known contract that distributes the money between the Wisconsin Union, UW Housing, UW Extension and the Wisconsin Historical Society.

During the last fiscal year, UW made $451,216 from its contract with Wright Vending, recently purchased by Canteen Vending, which is 38.8 percent of the money the machines on campus generate every year.

UW also made $46,622 from its RandolphSheppard Department of Workforce Development Business Enterprise Program, which is 27.56 percent of the total money those machines made this year.

Randolph-Sheppard is a federally mandated program to use vending companies serviced by visually-impaired employees.

Bulk of vending money goes to Union For the fiscal month ending Feb. 28 of this

year, UW vending money totaled $30,461.90.

Most of that money, nearly $27,000, went to the Union. UW Housing took in around $3,000, UW Extension received around $450 and the Historical Society got $299.

The vending money accounts for 6 percent of the Union’s overall budget, said Lori Voss, a procurement agent at UW Purchasing.

The money supports programs including the Distinguished Lecture Series, music on the Terrace, art shows, meeting facility maintenance and hundreds of student programs annually, according to internal email correspondence from 2004.

It’s common for unions at other peer institutions to use the revenue generated from services such as vending to offset costs.

Vending commissions contracts at UW-Green Bay are handled onsite by the UW-Green Bay Union, said Linda Dupois of UW-Green Bay Purchasing.

At UW-Milwaukee, e, vending money goes oes into the Student Affairs fairs budget, which is in charge of the union, auxiliary services, ces, the child care center, ter, career development and

Matt Hintz The Badger Herald

The University of Wisconsin’s many vending machines may be responsible for students’ betweenclass snacks, but they are also responsible for up to 6 percent of the Union’s overall budget. athletics, as well as other student services, Cindy Wirtz, auxiliary services financial manager, said.

No longer a free-for-all UW’s vending contract with Wright Vending, dates back to 1986.

The Chancellor ’s Office approved of the distribution of vending commissions as of 200 2004.

Although vending a at UW is handled ndled today

through a central contract and revenue is distributed accordingly to the proper entities, vending used to be more of a free-for-all, said Dave Brinkmeier, a procurement agent at UW Purchasing.

“There was a point in time when there were many departments running their own vending and campus management had concerns with safety (insurance),

$497,838 UW has two vending

WHERE DOES THE MONEY GO?

WISCONSIN UNION $27,000

how the money was collected and how it was spent,” Brinkmeier said in an email.

To make sure all contracts were awarded through an open process overseen by UW Purchasing, the Union took over managing the contract “to ensure that the best interests of the campus were included in any contract,” Brinkmeier said.

machine contracts, one with Wright Vending and another with the RandolphSheppard Department of Workforce Development Program. The two contracts bring in nearly half a million dollars.

ING UW HOUS $3,000 NSION UW EXTE $450 TY AL SOCIE HISTORIC $299

SOURCE: Records from UW Purchasing

Walker announces upgrade for Milwaukee area highway Governor says upgrade to interstate helps trucking, tourism industries; oppone opponents claim $15-$20M price tag too costly for current economic climate Andrew Averill State Editor Gov. Scott Walker announced Tuesday afternoon a plan to upgrade a central highway in Wisconsin to an interstate, a move which opponents said would be a misuse of funds during a time of economic hardship and sharp cuts in state funding for local programs.

A 142-mile stretch of U.S. Highway 41, which goes northeast out of Milwaukee, follows the inland coast of Lake Winnebago and cuts through Green Bay before heading up toward Michigan and ending at the northernmost peak of the Upper Peninsula, would receive a face lift to put it in line with federal standards designating it an interstate highway.

But only the segment

UW SYSTEM, from 1 attendees, Martin said the New Badger Partnership is the proposal that is currently best not only for the Madison campus but for the greater state of Wisconsin.

“We can’t afford to lose what every other state is trying to create,” Martin said. “Changes all over the world are happening in higher education and we can either absorb those changes or construct the future. The

running from the Mitchell Interchange by downtown Milwaukee to Green Bay would receive the upgrade. Walker added the improvements would increase the area’s economy.

“U.S. 41 connects crucial regions of Wisconsin with economic impacts that benefit local, state and regional economies,” Walker said in a statement.

“Converting the corridor to an interstate highway will provide enhanced safety, mobility and economic development potential.”

He added U.S. 41 is used by trucks that move the bulk of Wisconsin’s commodities to domestic and foreign markets, but the road also impacts the state’s tourism industry. Planning for the upgrade has been going on since 2005, when U.S. Rep. Tom Petri, R-Wis., designated the stretch of

road eligible to become an interstate, the Department of Transportation northeast section Chief and project manager Colleen Harris said.

“U.S. 41 is a good facility now, but interstate means higher safety and visibility for businesses,” Harris said.

In order for the highway to receive the accredited blue shield of an interstate system, the DOT staff inventoried the entire 142 stretch of highway and noted areas that needed improvement, Harris said.

An interstate system needs to have a wide enough shoulder, which can be either paved or gravel, higher bridge clearances than a U.S. highway and a median between the two sides of traffic made of cement or designated by grass space with beam guard, Harris said.

Although interstate highway systems are often larger than U.S. highways, Harris said the upgrades made to U.S. 41 would not necessarily include widening or adding additional lanes. The DOT is estimating the total cost for the upgrades to be around $15 million to $20 million, which has proven to be too high a price tag for some critics who said the state could be spending its money more wisely.

“This administration is saying for local roads to go to hell, that it’s okay to kill public transit. BadgerCare we don’t have money for, but expanding the highway and blue shields? That’s going to somehow expand the economic growth we need to return to the glory days?” Executive Director of 1000 Friends of Wisconsin Steve Hiniker

said.

Although Hiniker agreed with the DOT’s next step in the upgrade, an Environmental Impact Statement entailing public hearings on the proposed plan, he said he would have liked the public to be vetted prior to Walker deciding to spend taxpayer money on the project.

He said he was also worried the plan would start out as upgrades to the Fox Valley corridor, but would soon expand to impact local neighborhoods in Milwaukee — a process of delaying announcements of new stretches of road to reduce public concern he called “segmenting.”

The DOT expects the public hearing process to start this summer and for the highway to receive its blue shield in 2015, Harris said.

New Badger Partnership constructs our own future.”

Martin said universities in China, Korea and Brazil are successfully “stealing” top faculty from the United States by pouring money into higher education.

She said UW must pursue alternate financial options in order to stay competitive.

UW System spokesperson David Giroux said he has seen no mechanisms in the proposal that gives UWMadison increased funding

ability than it currently has as a member of the UW System.

“A lot of attention has been made to the differences between institutions that have the same goal in common,” he said. “All of us want to provide the best education for the state of Wisconsin. At a time when this state’s support for higher education is at an all time low, our voice is much louder if we advocate together.”

Martin contended private entities do not see the reduction in state support as a reason to make financial gifts to the university but instead look for the prospect of making the school stronger.

UW-Madison professor Murray Clayton said while he is neither for nor against the proposal, he believes more details are necessary for a proper analysis.

Clayton added he hopes a finalized plan would

make the campus’s worldrenowned academics its top priority.

“I hear on the other end of State Street that there’s concern about how we’re proceeding as a university,” he said. “So far, this university has been extremely successful. We’re among the top research facilities in the world. The question is not how we can be fixed, but what problems specifically need to be fixed.”

WEDNESDAY, MAY 4, 2011

THE BADGER HERALD, page 3

Page 4, WEDNESDAY, MAY 4, 2011

THE BADGER HERALD

NEWS

Proposed legislation advocates for young abuse victims Current laws do not require certain state employees to report suspected assaults George LeVines State Reporter Parents, educators, consultants and attorneys voiced unanimous support of a Senate bill that would require all public school employees to report incidences of child abuse and neglect at a public hearing Tuesday.

“The origin of this bill comes from an incident that occurred to a constituent of mine in Caledonia,” said the bill’s author, Sen. Van Wanggaard, R-Racine.

A 9-year-old girl was sexually abused three

times, and a teacher failed to report information passed on to her by an educational assistant regarding the initial incident.

Jennifer Pichelman, the child’s mother, fought tears while she testified in front of the committee.

“If the school assistant had been required by law to report the incident she might have only been assaulted once. Instead it happened at least three times,” Pichelman said.

“We have a duty to protect the children who are our future.”

Current legislation only mandates child abuse reporting from professional employees like teachers,

administrators and counselors. Wanggaard’s bill would make it illegal for bus drivers, janitors, educational assistants and any other public school employee to leave child abuse unreported.

Efforts to expand the bill’s reach to private schools are also under way, said Wanggaard.

The committee urged the senator to continue these efforts with the legislative council’s assistance.

The bill also includes a whistle blower provision to protect employees who report cases of child abuse from being wrongfully terminated.

Workers with low job security have a legitimate fear of termination when

they are put in positions of reporting against their superiors, Managing Attorney at Disability Rights Wisconsin Jeffrey Spitzer-Resnick said in his testimony supporting the bill.

“Once we put in this bill and say, ‘Not only do you have a mandatory reporting obligation, but your job will be protected,’ then we can say now it’s not even a moral question.

You have a job to do, do it,” Spitzer-Resnick said.

In addition to protecting workers, the bill requires all public school employees to complete abuse and neglect report training currently only mandated for professional employees.

The Department of Public Instruction consultant Nic Dibble said state superintendent Tony Evers believes the bill will help eradicate neglect and abuse by school staff through making training mandatory for all employees.

Committee members heard nothing but support for the bill in the overflowing hearing room, but some testifiers raised logistical concerns regarding the bill’s practical application.

The bill does not include employees of agencies that schools subcontract with and fails to address reporting requirements for districts with multiple jurisdictions, legislative

liaison for the Wisconsin Association of School Boards Joseph Quick said.

To ensure the bill accomplished Wanggaard’s intent, Quick said he would be happy to work with the senator to address some of the bill’s shortfalls.

“While it is too late to help the children I’ve mentioned here today, it is not too late to help potential future victims of abuse,” Wanggaard said.

Committee members will wait for the chair to call for an executive session where amendments to the bill that address concerns raised at the hearing are expected, said Sen. Fred Risser, D-Madison.

CRIME in Brief woke up inside of an office building around 9 p.m. Saturday without her underwear, purse or other personal belongings.

DeSpain said the woman was treated at a local hospital and an examination was done to seek signs of sexual assault, though MPD has not yet received a copy of the results.

“In the cases of both of these women, I don’t think they really knew what had happened to them, and both went to get checked out,” DeSpain said.

MIFFLIN BLOCK PARTY

WEST JOHNSON STREET

Incident Roundup

Potential Sexual Assault

The Madison Police Department Monday released a report tallying up the total number of reported incidents from Saturday’s Mifflin Street Block Party.

According to the report, MPD arrested 162 individuals who were cited for 204 tentative charges.

Twelve of those arrested were detained in jail.

“Among the tickets are: 12 for open intoxicants, 69 for underage possession or consumption, 24 for deposit [of] human waste and 43 for glass-free zone violations,” the report said.

A number of those who were arrested were tested for their blood alcohol content, and officers found 64 of those arrested had a blood alcohol concentration of between .151 and .40, at least nearly twice the legal limit.

A 19-year-old woman might have been sexually assaulted early Sunday morning after MPD officers found the woman in a West Johnson Street parking garage at 3:52 a.m.

According to an MPD report, the woman was found wearing only a t-shirt and underwear and did not know how she got to the parking lot or why she was there.

MPD spokesperson Joel DeSpain said the woman did not believe she was assaulted but went to the hospital upon returning home to receive an STATE STREET examination to determine Disturbance what had happened.

A 54-year-old man was taken into custody Monday CITY OF MADISON night after exposing his genitals on State Street Potential Sexual Assault A second potential before passing out on a incident of sexual assault public bench with his pants was reported when a 20-year- unzipped.

An MPD officer found old Rock County woman

the man with his eyes closed and zipper open sitting in what appeared to be the man’s own urine, DeSpain said.

According to the responding officer’s report, the officer “observed a large pool of liquid under and around his feet and a large wet spot on his crotch.” When the officer asked the suspect why he had soiled himself, the man began calling the officer names and using expletives.

When the man was taken Lukas Keapproth The Badger Herald file photo to jail, he laid down under While most partygoers came away from the Mifflin Street a bench and soiled himself again.

Block Party with fun stories, 204 took away tentative citations. party during Saturday’s alcohol.

MIFFLIN STREET While in pursuit of Mifflin Street Block Party.

Seth Kulick, 22 of Kulick, one officer got Arrested Person Burlington, attempted dragged down an alleyway, Two Madison Police to run from police when which caused injuries to Department officers officials attempted to break the officer’s leg. An MPD suffered minor injuries up a party on the 500 block sergeant then came for after a 22-year-old of West Mifflin Street after backup and incurred rib partygoer tried to flee the discovering underage injuries while chasing the scene of a busted house attendees were being served suspect, DeSpain said.

City leaders look to better use social media Currently no guidelines exist for use of Facebook, Twitter, blogs in official capacity; subcommittee meets to determine new rule set Sasha Hayman City Reporter In a world recently redefined by the power and prevalence of social media, members of the City Council and city staff are taking to the drawing boards to outline plans for appropriate media use by alders.

In February, the City Council Organizational Committee created a subcommittee to develop policies and guidelines regarding social media for members of the City Council.

Subcommittee member and City Council President Lauren Cnare, District 3, said the city currently has no policies regarding social media, but the lack of guidelines is an issue of concern for a number of city officials.

She said the break off group is in the process of developing clear guidelines because the council recognizes the importance of social media and its widespread and growing

use. She said they expect the new policies to be completed this summer.

Administrative Assistant to the Council Lisa Veldran said one of the subcommittee’s hopes is to require alders to have a separate Facebook account set up strictly for business.

At the first meeting in February, concerns arose regarding alders and the public differentiating between personal use and alder use of Facebook pages. Veldran said there have also been concerns about complying with the open records law, which makes government-held information available to whomever seeks it.

In the past, there have been instances in which alders who have constituents as “friends” on Facebook have posted private and sometimes inappropriate information on their pages.

“We don’t want comments posted that violate our discrimination laws and other state or federal laws,” Veldran said.

“They would need to be taken down.”

Veldran said the guidelines that are being created are still, in some part, adopted from the city’s web policy guidelines.

Currently, one of the only means of city communication to the public for the alders is use of the “District News” forum on the city webpage.

Ald. Scott Resnick, District 8, said that one of the issues he has with this forum are the limitations it sets.

“For example, if there is a neighborhood meeting regarding a big issue on the university front, but not directly related on the city front, we’re not allowed to post about it,” Resnick said.

“I don’t support that.”

Alders are also not currently allowed to link their own personal blog to the city homepage, and Resnick said there are other limitations regarding sites they can officially link to.

Cnare said under the new policy, the city council president, the city

attorney’s office and the IT department would be responsible for oversight to ensure proper social media use.

Still, Resnick said he has concerns about the amount of oversight that is being planned.

“There is a certain level of oversight that I understand is necessary to protect the image of the city,” Resnick said. “A city blog and a personal blog should not be confused, but possibly suppressing the opinions of an alder worries me.”

Resnick said students are in search of a better resource to city information. He said the subcommittee has the tools and technology but said they are only focusing on the rules being put forth.

Currently, alders only have official city email accounts for use with constituents.

Resnick said he’s shocked by how outdated the current policies are, but that he thinks the new policy is not making the necessary progress to put them at the “2011 standard.”

WEDNESDAY, MAY 4, 2011 RECALL, from 1 The restraining order is a pathetic attempt by Republicans to cover up their ethically questionable petitioning tactics,” said Democratic spokesperson Phil Walzak.

The ethical actions in question include a petition signature that allegedly belongs to a deceased man and numerous signatures from criminals.

Spokespeople from the DPW said they are confident these unethical actions are cause for the surplus of 5,000 signatures.

“Given the nature of this whole landscape, and the fact that we are finding so many unethical reports, it is important that we verify all of the votes. We have handled ourselves respectfully,” said Walzak.

“We really are just trying to see if they intended to have their names on the petition.”

NEWS

THE BADGER HERALD, page 5

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THE BADGER HERALD

NEWS BARS, from 1 that amped up security measures, said Ald. Mike Verveer, District 4.

“There would always be some problem here in the morning,” Lambert said.

One Saturday night a fight broke out during Club Frida and, soon after, the nights were called off, Lambert said.

Salsa night continued for awhile after hip hop night was disbanded, but soon that too went the way of hip hop night and Club Frida, which had been a part of the restaurant for years, is no more.

Verveer warned against equating the type of music with the incidents.

“I have always rejected the idea that it was the music that is causing the problems,” Verveer said.

The ‘Magic Words’ During his time on ALRC, Chair David Hart said some bar owners have felt pledging to not play hip hop are the “magic words” to get a liquor or entertainment license.

Some are worried about hip hop’s “perceived constituencies,” added Hart, now the organizer of Urban Spoken Word, the longest running poetry slam for adults in Madison.

“I think there is some sort of perception that if you don’t offer hip hop that’s some sort of good thing for your patrons and business,” Woulf said. “It’s not about the type of music offered at your establishment. It’s how you manage your bar.”

Last year during an ALRC meeting in April, the owner of Whiskey River, then called the Pub, told ALRC their bar would have a few ground rules: no hip hop and a dress code, said Austin Buerosse, the a nonvoting member of the ALRC appointed by the Associated Students of Madison.

One reason for this was because the owner did not want to attract “that crowd” to the bar. Buerosse said the comments made some members of the ALRC uncomfortable, and it seemed “ridiculous” to not want to attract “that kind of crowd.”

Whiskey River

That’s not what we do here. [We’re a] party bar.

Josh Hurley Co-owner, Whiskey River, on playing hip hop instead of Top 40 at his bar manager and co-owner Josh Hurley said the bar plays top 40 hits and sing-a-long songs and has a core list of groups that the bar flies in to play. Hip hop and hip hop artists are not part of Whiskey River ’s regular musical line up.

“That’s not what we do here,” Hurley said in an interview with The Badger Herald. The music played there fits what Whiskey River is aiming to be — a “party bar,” according to Hurley.

The dress code has been a part of all of the owners’ bars, Hurley said, and wasn’t brought on by any incident. It has been part of the institution since its beginning and is a uniform policy used in each of the bars across the country that the owners of Whiskey River maintain and run.

Patrons are not allowed to wear oversized shirts, plain white t-shirts, bandanas, long or over-sized jewelry or tilted hats.

Other downtown bars, including Monday’s, Madison’s and Brothers, have similar dress codes.

‘Dress Smart’ ALRC has a list of best practices and recommendations for how bar owners should handle live

performances, and one condition is that dress codes be strictly and uniformly enforced.

There are several bars in the city with dress codes, but when Plan B, a popular gay bar on the east side, instituted a dress code as part of their weekend club nights they were criticized because many thought the code was aimed at minority communities, and debate about the meaning of the dress code reverberated across Facebook.

Common complaints from commenters were about the ban on bandanas, jerseys and hats, which club owners have since backed off of, said Rico Sabatini, one of the co-owners of Plan B. “This dress code will be equally enforced across all race, color or creed. It was equally created for the well being of all my patrons regardless of race, color or creed,” Corey Gresen, one of the owners of Plan B, said to patrons in a statement made on Facebook.

AJ Blanchet, a Madisonan who frequents Plan B , said the dress code being labeled as racist was extreme, especially since the code was created after some disruptive incidents.

Blanchet, who is a friend of the owners, said there was rowdiness at Plan B, and the owners wanted to curb it.

Now the owners of Plan B have backed off how strictly the dress code is enforced, saying patrons need to “dress smart,” Sabatini said. As the current code stands, no backpacks or athletic gear are allowed at their club nights.

Despite the change to politically correct and sensitive language, Andy Pham, Madison resident and another Plan B patron, said the initial dress code seemed shortsighted for a place that is supposed to be a haven for people who are part of one of the minority communities in the city.

Opinion

Editorial Page Editors: ALLEGRA DIMPERIO & KYLE MIANULLI, OPED@BADGERHERALD.COM 257.4712 EXT. 143

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WEDNESDAY, MAY 4, 2011

THE BADGER HERALD

BAD GER v.t. 1. to annoy persistently through panoply of efforts HER ALD v.t. 1. to introduce, or give tidings of, as by a herald 2. to proclaim; to announce; to foretell; to usher

Herald Editorial Give Mifflin back With two stabbings, several police injuries and the overall elevation of belligerency that took place at Saturday’s Mifflin Street Block Party, this board understands why the newly elected mayor and other city officials are chomping at the bit to shut down Madison’s annual daydrinking extravaganza.

It is a dumb idea, but sure, it is understandable.

To take this discussion back to a feasible plane, however, let us all agree that Mifflin cannot be shut down just because outraged politicians decree it so. The day of the party has been agreed upon and has gone forward in the past without the city’s approval — often with outcomes much harsher than Saturday’s.

It would take a minimal amount of social networking to build momentum for Mifflin 2012, and if anything, the attempt to shut it down may just provide students with more incentive to make sure the block party happens.

In other words, students will always stubbornly defend their right to drink.

So instead of making outlandish statements that can’t be backed up, this board would like to offer a few

reasonable suggestions to city leaders that can help moderate the Mifflin madness.

For starters, allowing open intoxicants on the street clearly doesn’t work.

It certainly didn’t cause stabbings, but it gives drunken out-of-towners a place to get drunker when they don’t actually know anybody who lives on Mifflin.

The only thing that gives us pause about reinstating the open intoxicant law is

The attempt to shut Mifflin down may just provide students with more incentive to make sure the block party happens. that police have, in the past, written citations to people who have just accidentally stepped onto the street.

Provided cops only cite people who are blatantly drinking in the middle of the road, we’re OK with this rule.

Further, future sponsorship of such a drinking-focused event is unrealistic, as is the belief that the event can be made into something

Sam Clegg

Allegra Dimperio

not centered on drinking.

WSUM, Majestic and Capitol Neighborhoods, Inc. have made clear they’re not interested in doing it again, and the city needs to stop courting sponsors and focus on another way to do this.

Simply put: The Mifflin Street Block Party needs to be the responsibility of Mifflin residents, most of whom are students. They should be allowed to throw their parties, take responsibility for any incidents and for who is on their property, and go from there.

The key to this working is education. Community engagement should be increased, such as Madison police going door to door with specific instructions for

Kevin Bargnes

Editorial Board Chairman Editorial Page Editor

Matt Hintz The Badger Herald file photo

Mayor Paul Soglin was one of several elected officials to call for the end of Mifflin in response to this year’s event.

Adam Holt

Editor-in-Chief

Kyle Mianulli

Editorial Page Editor

how to stay safe, as well as neighborhood forums and meetings. The city also needs to work with University Housing and UW police to develop a set of Mifflin guidelines given to dorm residents, much like what happens each year before Halloween.

Finally, it is nonsense to suggest, as many have, that the city should not spend taxpayer dollars to police an event that is all about drinking. Madison is, at its heart, a party town. This isn’t a bad thing. It’s not a party town in a glitzy, garish way like Las Vegas or in a trashy way like Atlantic City.

Madison is still a nice place to raise a family, to grow up and to grow old.

Signe Brewster

Managing Editor

Alica Yager

Editorial Board Member

But Mifflin weekend is simply the largest and most in-your-face example of Madison’s drinking culture.

It, like every other drinking weekend, contributes to the economic vitality of Downtown Madison. To demonize Mifflin’s existence is to demonize something that partially defines this city. We believe Mifflin can continue to exist in a reasonably safe, very fun fashion, provided the city arms the student body with education rather than empty threats.

It is up to Mayor Paul Soglin, Ald. Mike Verveer, Police Chief Noble Wray and others to make sure this happens. If they don’t, expect more frustration to leak out of City Hall one year from now.

Editor-at-Large

Michael Bleach

Editorial Board Member

Jake Begun

Editorial Board Member

Editorial Board opinions are crafted independently of news coverage.

Unprecedented recall efforts lead to tangled legal battle Taylor Nye Columnist I’m not going to speculate about why Gov. Scott Walker didn’t realize what a mess he was getting Wisconsin into when he tried to pass his budget repair bill. To call him unintelligent would be a low blow, but he sure is shortsighted and selfpromoting.

While trying to tackle the state deficit in itself is laudable, Walker’s gungho approach has lead to nothing but a legal morass.

What did he want? To cut the budget. How did he want it? Any way it could

be done.

Meanwhile, Wisconsin courts, lawmakers, union members, teachers and many more have been left spinning their wheels in the muck that is the legal aftermath of Walker’s bill. As reported by the Wisconsin State Journal, recent developments have lead to a postponement in the decision to recall eight (yes, eight) state senators.

With no decision likely to be reached as late as July, the circus continues in the house that Scott built.

As of publication, petitions have been or are being brought against Sen. Randy Hopper, R-Fond du Lac, Dan Kapanke, R-La Crosse, Luther Olsen, R-Ripon, Sen. Robert Cowles, R-Green Bay, Sen. Mary Lazich, R-New Berlin and Sen. Glenn Grothman, R-West Bend.

Failed recalls include

Democratic Sens. Spencer Coggs and Lena Taylor of Milwaukee, and Democratic Sens. Fred Risser and Mark Miller of Madison. Not only that, but there are numerous calls for special elections and the statewide recount of the Supreme Court election.

Lewis Beilin, an attorney for Wisconsin Government Accountability Board, calls this array “unprecedented,” and because of the general chaos, the GAB has not been able to use its standard protocol to determine whether or not the state senators should be ousted and a recall election should take place.

Petitions for recalls were filed at all different times, and the senators in question “are targeted for their support or opposition to a bill that would strip

most public employees of collective bargaining rights,” according to the Wisconsin State Journal.

Normally, the GAB knows whether to hold a recall election within 31 days of a petition being filed, but in this case, petitions filed on April 1 may not be presented until between May 31 and June 3.

Surprisingly, though, GAB lawyers, Republicans and Democrats mostly agree on the extension of the deadline.

Jeremy Levinson, an attorney for the committees to recall Kapanke and Hopper, only protested the extension of the deadline for these two senators, saying that since these petitions were turned in much earlier, they should be reviewed by the May 17 meeting.

Beilin denied this request because the GAB already

had too many other matters on their agenda and direly needs the extra time to verify the petitions.

The fact that parties on both sides are being recalled (and both sides mostly agree to the extension) supports the idea that everybody, regardless of political affiliation, knows it’s a legal minefield out there.

As of right now, recalls for Kapanke and Hopper will be under review on May 23. The other six senators will come under review between May 31 and June 3, and barring further legal snafus, eight elections will be held on July 12.

My libertarian, reluctant tax-paying, union hating mother would want me to mention that it’s the people of Wisconsin, not other legislators, calling for their state senators to

be recalled. She would be correct; there is obviously a large faction that disputes the legality of the Democratic senators’ great flight out of Wisconsin and would like to see them answer for their absences.

I myself am not really certain it was the best thing for them to have done in the situation.

What I am certain of, however, is that what forced their hand was Scott Walker and his demagogues. Forcing senators to absolve their actions may be warranted, but the legal quicksand the budget-repair bill put us in is only going to suck us further under if we continue to struggle.

Taylor Nye (tenye@ wisc.edu) is a sophomore majoring in biological anthropology and Latin American studies.

Changes to length of summer vacation could improve education Albert Budhipramono Columnist With finals week approaching quickly, libraries on campus grow more crowded and energy drink sales rise as students get down to studying.

But the light at the end of the tunnel known as summer break is also near.

Over three months long, summer vacation is a time for many students to relax and unwind after a long, stressful year of school.

There is much speculations about why summer vacation is so long. A popular, though not necessarily true one, is that in the old days parents needed their children in the fields to help with the harvest.

Summer vacations were

nowhere near as long as they are now until the early 20th century. Their length was changed because of various concerns about the year-long calendar, such as that students would burn out staying in school all year long and that keeping many students in a hot, crowded classroom encourages the spread of disease.

Although those concerns eventually faded away, the calendar stayed, partly due to the high costs of maintaining educational institutions for longer periods. Today, academic terms in schools across America average on a measly 180 days a year. In case you didn’t notice, 180 is less than half of 365 — American students spend more days in a year out of school than in it.

The United States lags behind other countries in terms of academic term length. In the United Kingdom, the number is only slightly larger at 192,

but in Israel it is 216, and in Japan a whopping 243.

American students’ often disappointing performance compared to other developed nations — measured by standardized tests and graduation rates, among others — is often blamed partly on the short academic year. As summer months go on and on, students’ knowledge slowly fades away, and by fall teachers have to deal with students’ poor mathematical and reading skills, lost in the idleness of summer.

In other words, summer vacation is often a waste of time. This is not to say that students do not need breaks, but three months seems to be far too long, especially considering there is enough time to complete whole courses throughout a summer school term.

What difference does it make, though? Why should it be shortened?

The answer is that a

shorter vacation period and a longer academic term can allow students to spend less time in school and to graduate earlier.

This will allow workersin-the-making to enter the job market earlier, stimulating the economy of the country.

Others would argue, however, that the long summer break presents students with opportunities to engage in beneficial activities they would have otherwise missed without the long break. There are of course many possible activities, most more productive than killing enemies in Halo all day long or watching season after season of The Office for the umpteenth time.

Many students hold summer jobs, allowing them to make some money to help fund their college education (or not, depending on how the income is used). Still, without a college degree,

jobs available to students might not be a worthwhile time investment in the long run — if students are able to graduate early with shorter summer vacations, they are more likely to obtain higher paying jobs that would earn them the same amount of money in a shorter period.

Another way that students make use of the summer is to take summer classes. While this can be a good way to utilize time, summer classes are often extremely condensed (Four lectures of organic chemistry a week? Hell yes!), and a longer academic term would be a better solution than attempting to cram a semester’s worth of materials into a summer.

Perhaps one that most would agree is a worthy activity during the summer is an internship. Whether at a banking institution or at a research institute, internships are long-term commitments that can

provide students with valuable experiences that prepare them for their careers. Nonetheless, with the scarcity of positions and increasingly competitive pool of applicants, it seems unfair that so few students can have internships while others are left to their part-time jobs at their hometown.

Summer vacation, while allowing students to take a break from school, has been shaped by the accidents of history and drags on for far too long. The benefits are outweighed by the damages caused, and though it might be too ingrained into the culture to be changed, a shorter summer break would bring tremendous improvement to the American education system.

Albert Budhipramono (budhipramono@wisc.edu) is a freshman majoring in biology.

Your Opinion · Send your letters to the editor and guest columns to oped@badgerherald.com oped@badgerherald.com.. Publication is based on space and takes into account relevance and quality. Letters should be sent exclusively to the Herald. Unsigned letters will not be published. All submissions may be edited by the Herald for length and style. Reader feedback on all articles and columns can be posted at badgerherald.com, badgerherald.com, where all print content is archived.

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Blame the Kid Next to You NOAH YUENKEL, COMICS@BADGERHERALD.COM 257.4712 EXT. 161

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WEDNESDAY, MAY 4, 2011 WHAT IS THIS

SUDOKU

HERALD COMICS

PRESENTS

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THE BADGER HERALD

U WHITE BREAD & TOAST

toast@badgerherald.com

MIKE BERG

NONSENSE? Complete the grid so that every row, column and 3x3 box contains 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 and 9.

What? You still don’t get it? Come, on, really? It’s not calculus or anything. Honestly, if you don’t know how to do a sudoku by now, you’ve probably got more issues than this newspaper.

TWENTY POUND BABY

DIFFICULTY RATING: Light indigestion

HERALD COMICS

PRESENTS

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STEPHEN TYLER CONRAD

YOURMOMETER

LAURA “HOBBES” LEGAULT

C’EST LA MORT

PARAGON

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HOW DO I

KAKURO?

I know, I know. Kakuro.

Looks crazy, right?

This ain’t no time to panic, friend, so keep it cool and I’ll walk you through. Here’s the low down: each clue tells you what the sum of the numbers to the right or down must add up to.

Repeating numbers?

Not in this part of town.

And that’s that, slick.

paragon@badgerherald.com

The Kakuro Unique Sum Chart Cells Clue 2 3 2 4 2 16 2 17

DIFFICULTY RATING: Light double homicide

REHABILITATING MR. WIGGLES

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www.neilswaab.com

NEIL SWAAB

ASPIRE

HERALD COMICS 1

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RYAN PAGELOW

RANDOM DOODLES

PRIMAL URGES

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MODERN CONSERVATIVE MOVEMENT

THE SKY PIRATES

COLLIN LA FLEUR

DENIS HART

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16

ArtsEtc. Editor:

ANN RIVALL, ARTS@BADGERHERALD.COM 257.4712 EXT. 141 WEDNESDAY, MAY 4, 2011

page 9

ArtsEtc. THE BADGER HERALD

THE BADGER HERALD PRESENTS “HUMP DAY”

Columnist bids Hump Day adieu Nicolette Pawlowski ArtsEtc. Sex Columnist

Photo by Dominick Mastrangelo

The Loom, an indie rock sextet hailing from Brooklyn, released its debut EP in 2008 and a full-length debut album, ‘Teeth,’ in 2010 in addition to playing multiple shows at this year’s SXSW music festival. As part of their spring 2011 tour with Christopher Paul Stelling, The Loom will make its first ever stop in Madison.

Wednesdays just got a whole lot cooler Madison-based band Pioneer gives one more reason to celebrate hump day with their ‘Whiskey Wednesdays’ concerts at Project Lodge Sarah Witman ArtsEtc. Content Editor You’ve heard of Thirsty Thursday, but just in time for finals week — and giving enough of a recovery time from Mifflin — The Project Lodge will be serving up a new excuse to drink on a weekday, with its second run of “Whiskey Wednesdays” on May 11.

The event will charge $7 for three bands: Caroline Smith and the Good Night Sleeps, The Loom and Christopher Paul Stelling.

The event is the product of a booking endeavor

by Madison-based band Pioneer, which consists of Kenny Monroe on acoustic guitar and vocals and Jacqueline Kursel playing cello, backup vocals and the glockenspiel.

The two united as a band last summer but through their solo work are familiar faces to the city’s music scene.

However, it is one of the first times that a band they booked are not friends of theirs — Caroline Smith will be traveling with her band from Duluth, and the others hail from New York.

Concert booking became a natural addition to their own performances, they said.

“We play shows that we don’t book, and it gives you a good idea of what makes a good show for the artist … They get more and more successful I feel like, [but] it’s hit or miss,” Monroe

said. “It has expanded beyond the point where it’s just a favor for a friend.”

“It gives you more control and opportunities,” Kursel added. “If you’re setting one up you feel responsible for how many people show up even if it’s out of your control. It’s about finding a method to the madness.”

The members of Pioneer also book house shows, which they say will start up again now that the last snows have thawed. They enjoy what The Project Lodge space has to offer for musical performance, and Kursel volunteers about twice a week to run sound, stamp hands and help bands set up.

The concept for the first Whiskey Wednesdays came easily to the pair, as there was a clear synergy between Wednesday — the day of the week the show fell on — and whiskey — a beverage beloved by many college students.

The Project Lodge venue is not legally allowed to sell alcohol. However, the name is “Whiskey” Wednesday, so perhaps concert-goers should take that to mean what they will. Kursel and Monroe hope live music enthusiasts will take time out of their week to relax and experience the unique offerings of a more intimate venue.

“The last [Whiskey Wednesday] was very atmospheric; it definitely

had a very unifying theme,” Monroe said. “I would almost go as far as to say this music is ‘fun.’ She’s a poppy folk musician with a whole band. And if people haven’t been to The Project Lodge before… the bands are right there.

There’s no separation.”

Kursel described it as a beautiful and intense “get drunk and cry” type of show, which may differ from the styles of next week’s event. Monroe said the genres of the three bands, such as The Loom, which spans from indie rock to “orchestral folky pop,” are separate and distinct from one another.

The Loom consists of John Fanning, Sarah Renfro, Lis Rubard, Dan DeSloover, Jon Alvarez and Alex Greiner playing a wide array of instruments.

This will be their first time playing in Madison, which will be the westernmost stop on their current tour.

“We have a record [called Teeth] that’s done but won’t come out until probably the fall,” Fanning said, speaking to The Badger Herald from his new, asof-yet electricity-free, apartment in Brooklyn. “At that point it’ll make sense to tour for longer stretches in relation to record being out, but in the meantime we’ve been trying to tour just as much as we can in smaller doses so we don’t get fired from our various part-time jobs.”

Although there is still some time before listeners can buy the album, four songs by the Loom can be found on Daytrotter to give a good indication of what the band currently sounds like.

Fanning reports he and the other band members have been playing material newer than what is on Teeth, so its next album should have far less of a lag before it can be released.

“We would have all lost our minds if we had not continued to play new music,” he said. “We’re writing all the time, and in truth it’s a positive problem.”

Stelling is touring with The Loom, and they will be collaborating for a few numbers during Whiskey Wednesday, something the band has enjoyed in the past.

“We always like playing places where the bands are sort of involved in putting the shows together,” Fanning said of Pioneer’s involvement in Whiskey Wednesdays. “I’m excited to play there; it seems like a cool space and cool group of people who are playing.”

Monroe concurred with what The Loom band member had to say, though unknowingly as the two have not yet met in person.

“If you’re prematurely celebrating the end of finals or trying to drown your sorrows, it’s going to be a good time,” Monroe said.

She’s bossy: Tina Fey memoir delivers laughs As a perennial funny woman, Fey offers readers a glimpse into her witty genius in ‘Bossypants’ book chock full of deadpan humor Ann Rivall ArtsEtc. Editor Tina Fey is a boss in the truest sense of the word.

Witty, honest and sardonic, Fey epitomizes the role perfectly in her memoir, “Bossypants.”

When beloved comedy icons like Fey announce they’re writing a memoir, unjustified fears that the book will be drenched in self-promotion or worse, take a nose dive into stilted, never-before-seen seriousness quickly emerge. But to those who doubted Fey’s ability to translate her deadpan funny to the parchment sheets of “Bossypants,” I say shame on you. Has “Saturday Night Live” taught you nothing? Of course this will be hilarious, it’s Tina Fey — the woman who declared, “Bitch is the new black.”

It may not be the comedic oeuvre displayed in the same vein of the Sedaris family narrative, but it is still a worthy glimpse into the comedic genius of the mother of “30 Rock” and retired “SNL” funny lady.

Straying slightly from the typical memoir mold, Fey touches on everything from her duties as “30 Rock” boss, her expectations as a female comedian breaking into a traditionally maledominated field, her stint as caribou-Barbie Sarah Palin to her candid musings on motherhood. Essentially, Fey verifies what fans already knew — she’s a talented writer and comedian who has

deftly mastered the skill of fierce delivery.

Somewhat haphazard in its chronological organization, Fey begins with childhood anecdotes and intelligently guides the reader with her classic heartfelt humor all the way through her present tribulations juggling motherhood and being a boss.

The misadventures in adolescence she divulges are admittedly pathetic at times, but her cynical humor and inherent ability to transform any situation, as sad as it may initially come off to the reader, into a witty and hilarious narrative make Tina Fey the eternal champion for awkward nerdy girls everywhere.

“That’s Don Fey,” perhaps the funniest chapter in the book, is an affectionate description of her father.

She refers to him in his full moniker throughout the entire memoir continually relating stories that reinforce the anecdotal description that Don Fey is indeed a “boss, bold, bladed motherfucker.”

Apparently the boss factor runs in the Fey genes.

Prevalent throughout the entire 275-page opus is her consistent reiteration of women’s place in comedy and in her case, a women’s position as the boss. Though the issue is told through Fey’s signature cynical, yet triumphant voice, it is dealt with a delicate amount of earnestness.

The first reference begins when she details her

experiences at The Second City improv and sketch comedy theater in Chicago where she initially nursed her comedy prowess and encountered the hint that funny, talented women still receive a measure of doubt from skeptical producers.

Fey writes, “Of all the places I’ve worked that were supposedly boys’ clubs, The Second City was the only one where I experienced institutionalized gender nonsense. For example, a director of one of the main companies once justified cutting a scene by saying, ‘The audience doesn’t want to see a scene between two women.’ Whaaa?”

If you’re rolling your eyes at the prospect of “Bossypants” morphing into a twisted feminist tirade — think again. Unapologetic in her classic, brash honesty, Fey doesn’t cloak the fact that women’s careers in showbiz often end when they attempt to overstay their welcome and must deal with being branded “crazy” for lasting past their prime.

“I’ve known older men in comedy who can barely feed and clean themselves, and they still work. The women, though, they’re all ‘crazy’,” Fey writes. “I have a suspicion that the definition of ‘crazy’ in show business is a woman who keeps talking even after no one wants to fuck her anymore.”

So if you picked up “Bossypants” in search of Fey’s retort to a rumored industry mentality, Fey

fails to disappoint in her assessment as if to say, “You asked for it.”

When it comes to other “feminist” matters like body image and the perennial Photoshop debate, Fey once again offers a sharp-witted comeback to those decrying the magazine industry’s penchant for Photoshop as the sole reason America possesses a crippled body image.

“As long as we all know it’s fake, it’s no more dangerous to society than a radio broadcast of ‘The War of the Worlds.’”

“Bossypants” offers readers a laugh-out-loud sketch of Fey’s personality and the journey she’s taken to becoming a boss. With a glimpse into her intense work ethic and her numerous bouts of stress-induced chin acne, it’s amazing Fey hasn’t surrendered to the pressure.

Then again, bitches like Tina Fey get stuff done, and that’s why we love her.

BOSSYPANTS TINA FEY

Whenever I tell strangers I am a sex educator, 99 percent of them give me a look of shock. Some people restate the question, as if they didn’t hear me correctly the first time. Many people smile politely and quickly change the subject.

Yet the great majority proceed to ask me how I got into my work. That’s my favorite question, as it invariably leads the person to later share with me their own experiences regarding sex education — or lack thereof.

I was pretty open about sexuality and relationships since my early teens. But there is one incident in my life that I can definitively say was the main impetus for the work that I do now.

That event occurred in high school, during my freshman health class.

The course consisted of a two-week session on sexual health. Our gym teacher was the main educator, and from what I remember, he did a decent job.

We also had two speakers from a private organization that came for two days. I vividly remember the second speaker. Petite, with long blond hair pulled up in a bun, she entered the room with determination. Her mission: to convince my class to abstain from sex until marriage. Her handson activity was disgusting, a combination of chewedup orange potato chips, water and a large pitcher.

I’ll save your stomach the details. Yet the most disturbing act was her closing message to my class. Her eyes drilled into each of us as she said the following, “My husband can look straight into the eyes of his sons and tell them that he truly loves them because he waited for me.”

Such falsehoods are still being spewed in classrooms, churches and organizations around the world. Every time I tell that story, the person that asked me the question almost always shares with me a similar story, but instead of potato chips, the educator used spit to demonstrate his/her lies, or, as in another case, a paper cup was used to represent the soul. And as the girl holds hands, kisses, has sex, etc., pieces of her soul are torn off.

Those stories are the reason that I chose the work that I do, so that deceitful and misinformed individuals will never be able to stand in front of a group of kids and lie to them again.

By the time teens finish high school in this country, more than half have experienced some sort of sexual activity. Yet because of the lack of information and the plethora of misinformation, I meet people every day who don’t know how to use condoms correctly, who have never had an orgasm and who are scared to talk to their partner about STIs, changing sex positions or trying a sex toy. You might wonder why the latter is important, why I don’t just teach about STIs or birth control.

The answer is that all of sexuality is important, both the preventative choices and the pleasurable ones.

Despite the plethora of dishonest educators and badly made porn on the market, one thing is beyond a doubt. Sex is an amazing activity. It can be a phenomenal experience

whether doing it alone, during a one night stand or with your life partner.

It can increase intimacy, dissolve headaches and pain, lead to mind blowing pleasure and strengthen the foundation of a relationship. Sexual activity can also become ugly if used in a coercive, damaging way. That is why it is so important to have the information and communication in order to successfully navigate every sexual experience.

To finish up my three years work as a sex columnist for The Badger Herald, I want to leave you, my dear readers, with some sex information that I think all people should know: *Know your STI status. That means get tested! Over 60 percent of American people have herpes on the mouth (yes that cold sore that you occasionally get when your immune system is weak is herpes and can be transmitted to the genitals during unprotected oral sex). And stop being freaked out about it.

EVERYONE in the world has had some type of infection (like the flu) at some point or another.

We deal with it. There are cures for most STIs and very effective treatments for the others. *Use protection.

Condoms and sex dams come in all different colors, sizes, shapes and textures. Some vibrate, some have warming lubes, others glow-in-the-dark.

Condoms are meant to protect you and your partner from STIs and unintended pregnancy, but they are also meant to increase your pleasure by removing your worries and adding an extra element into your sex play. Double up with a hormonal contraceptive, but don’t use two condoms at the same time. *Orgasms happen when many of your muscles involuntarily tighten up and you feel you reach a peak. Your body may spasm or shake. Most men ejaculate — yet not all. After orgasm, you generally feel relaxed, potentially out of breath.

Stroking different body parts can intensify or change the sensations.

Focusing on orgasms as a goal is counterproductive, as it leads to greater stress and less pleasure. Explore.

Breathe. Relax. Enjoy.

Orgasms can then come. *You are completely normal! Whether you fantasize about being spanked, want to suck your partner’s toes, get turned on when you watch two men lick each other’s butts or don’t have any sexual desire for any of that, ALL of it is completely normal!

Sexuality encompasses so many areas and so many activities. Simply because you like one thing doesn’t mean you will like another. Simply because you like being fucked by your girlfriend in the ass doesn’t mean you will start liking men. Having sex is completely normal.

Not having sex is also completely normal. *No matter how many people you kiss, suck or penetrate before or after marriage, you will love your children (and/or your pets) just as much — if not more — as those people who only had sex with one person.

May you all experience great pleasure openly and honestly with whomever and however you choose.

This article was written

by Nicolette Pawlowski.

Nicolette is a trained sexual health educator and a graduate student studying sex education policy. Have a question about sex or relationships? Email: humpday@badgerherald. com

Page 10, WEDNESDAY, MAY 4, 2011

ARTS

THE BADGER HERALD

An ArtsEtc. Spot On

D E T C E R R U S E R Y BUFF

By Ann Rivall ArtsEtc. Editor

It may not be the next “Citizen Kane,” but it possesses a measure of that norm-defying moxie necessary to promote cinematic industry change.

“Dead of the Night” — an independently made Madison film and the brainchild of local producer and writer Robert Love — is not your typical comedy horror.

For one, this low-budget indie — all funded by Love himself — is set in Wisconsin and described as a fusion of “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” and “Friday the 13th.” Two, it boasts of a badass female lead actress, University of Wisconsin senior Morgan Boland, who is bestowed with a palpable dose of chutzpah, well-suited to combating zombies and pesky demons aiming to disrupt an FBI mission.

She is woman, hear her roar.

Influenced by director Joss Whedon’s strong female lead personified by Sarah Michelle Gellar in the “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” series, Love and his fellow film producer Jeff Skubal, wanted to create a comedy horror that strayed from the male lead mold by developing the character of Paige — a tenacious self-confident woman who unapologetically asserts

Madison-made independent comedy horror ‘Dead of the Night’ brings back badass female lead

her dominance and leaps into the realm of macho.

“As a storyteller, I’ve always been attracted to strong women,” Love said in a recent interview with The Badger Herald. “So often women are portrayed as the sidekick to the guy, and what I liked so much about Buffy was that she was the hero, she’s in charge and she’s got that strength of personality to be the superpower, and so that’s what I wrote Paige to be.

She’s a woman; she’ll get in fights.”

Originally cast as an extra when “Dead of the Night” production began over two years ago, Boland impressed Love, who had initially written the part with a different actress in mind.

After eventually revolving through three different leading ladies and continually coming back to the extra that impressed him, Love settled on Boland — a UW theatre major who most recently appeared in the University Theatre production of “Eurydice.”

And if Love was searching for the right woman to take on the role of a commanding female presence incarnated in his Paige, he surely found it in Boland. She exudes an equal match of confidence and humility as she traverses the uncharted acting platforms of comedy and film.

“I think I’ve discovered through the process that I’m more like Paige than I realized,” Boland said. “I really love how this character really bluntly speaks her mind. She’s not going to sugarcoat anything, and I find myself in the same situations sometimes.”

Both relative newcomers to the experience of shooting

a full-length feature film, Love and Boland each reflected on the adventure of seeing a project stem from an idea and morph into what has become the visionary baby of Love’s that Boland occasionally baby sits with her creative input.

Love is a writer and voice over director for Raven Software — a Middleton-based computer game developer of real world and science fiction game software — and has produced two film shorts, “The Plan” and “The More Things Change,” prior to dipping his toe in the feature-flick pool.

Drawing on an initial acquaintance with film gained while working for Raven and reinforced while shooting his first two shorts, Love was able to call on that specific knowledge base when developing “Dead of the Night.”

“The biggest difference between the short and the full-length film is the time commitment. It’s a huge, huge time commitment, but it’s also so much more rewarding,” Love said.

“You get all these different pieces together and all these different people working so hard. I’ve shown the actors scenes, and it’s cool to see when they laugh at the right parts and you really get the emotions where you want to.”

Making the transition from the stage to on-camera proved to be an interesting artistic learning opportunity for Boland who had previously only been a cast member of a local student-produced film. With this being her first full-length film, Boland immediately noticed the task of emotional readiness screen actors are expected to tackle when shooting various, disjointed scenes typical of the sporadic production style of fulllength films.

“Before doing film I used to think film actresses had it so much easier because they only had to memorize one scene at a time and theatre people have to memorize the whole show, but film is a lot harder in the sense that you have to jump into that moment no matter what it is,” Boland said.

“With theater you can ride that momentum through the show and it can be a lot easier to get yourself to those moments.”

As an actress who has had minimal experience with comedy, Boland is also learning to hone her comedic chops — a theatrical skill of Boland’s that both Love and “Eurydice” reviewers praised the young leading lady for.

“Bob kept telling me I had great comedic timing, and I kept saying, ‘I do?’ It wasn’t until I read a ‘Eurydice’ review and they mentioned my comedic timing that I began to believe it,” Boland said.

For Love, comedy is his niche.

“Comedy really speaks to me; I think that’s my strength as a writer,” Love said.

His first comedy short, “The More Things Change,” allowed Love to explore the genre, and after receiving strong audience encouragement for his writing, decided to pursue the humor of horror with “Dead of the Night.”

“What makes comedy work so well is having some tension in there, and that’s why horror comedies work out really nice,” Love said. “We’re not really a horror per se because we’re not about the blood, we’re not about the violence — it’s mostly about the comedy.”

Citing the “horror renaissance” that has captivated mega-plexes across the world with blockbusters like “Twilight,” and TV series such as “The Vampire Diaries,” Love and Skubal knew that combining the wry intrigue of demonic, otherworldly creatures disrupting the placid nature of a Wisconsin backdrop would make for a clever Joss Whedon-like romp that celebrated a strong female commanding the film’s comedy and action.

“The women in the film always stand up and fight. I want to portray these women as strong,” Love said.

Though the marriage of comedy and horror has been spoofed in numerous “Scary Movie” installments, Love predicted his own genre union in “Dead of the Night” would at one moment present a captivating, edgeof-your-seat scene for viewers, and in the next let the crowd breathe a sigh of comedic relief with a deadpan line delivery.

“For comedy to work well you need a wind up of the tension and then the release,” Love said. “If you’re careful with your comedy you don’t throw off the men or the women, which you can tend to do.”

“Horror is also in itself funny,” Boland added.

Readying themselves for a Madison screening in July at Sundance Theater, Love and Boland reflect back on the experience of surviving their first feature-length film together and credit Skubal’s creative level head for guiding the pair’s imagination.

“I really love the creative process, and I really do think that strong art is very collaborative and that collaboration itself can only make it stronger,” Boland said. “I think we work together to tell a great story.”

“I’m extremely proud of this project,” Love said. “This has been like climbing Mount Everest in your bare feet, and I could not have done it without the enthusiasm of Morgan and Jeff.”

“Dead of the Night” will be shown at Sundance Theater in July. For the most up-to-date information regarding the film’s progress and future viewing opportunities, visit the film’s Facebook page.

Alex Laedtke The Badger Herald Design

EXTRA INNINGS

Extra Innings Editor: Tom Sakash SPORTS@BADGERHERALD.COM 257.4712 EXT. 131

page 11

WEDNESDAY, MAY 4, 2011

THE BADGER HERALD

THIS WEEK’S TOP SERIES Cleveland at Los Angeles Fri., May 6 • Sun., May 8 The most surprising team so far this season takes their show on the road to continue to prove if they are a contender. The Tribe’s schedule has been easy, but a successful trip to L.A. should quiet any remaining doubters.

2011 POWER RANKINGS

NUMBER OF THE WEEK

Philadelphia at Florida

New York at Texas Fri., May 6 • Sun., May 8

Mon., May 9 • Wed., May 11

The upstart Marlins will host Back in mid-April the Yankees the perennial NL East champs took two games from the next week when the Phillies Rangers at Yankee Stadium in go down to Miami to battle for a rematch of last year’s ALCS. Texas will look to exact revenge the early division lead. In their first meeting this season the two this weekend, as this time teams split the series. around they will get last at-bats.

1

The number of losses Jered Weaver has after his first seven starts of the season. On Monday the Red Sox handed Weaver his first loss after winning each of his first six starts, a feat not accomplished since 1992.

1. Philadelphia Phillies 2. Cleveland Indians 3. New York Yankees 4. Colorado Rockies 5. Florida Marlins 6. Texas Rangers 7. Los Angeles Angels 8. Kansas City Royals 9. Tampa Bay Rays 10. St. Louis Cardinals 11. Cincinnati Reds 12. Los Angeles Dodgers 13. Oakland Athletics 14. Atlanta Braves 15. San Francisco Giants

BEST TEAM

16. Pittsburgh Pirates 17. Boston Red Sox 18. Milwaukee Brewers 19. Washington Nationals 20. Detroit Tigers 21. Toronto Blue Jays 22. Baltimore Orioles 23. Minnesota Twins 24. Chicago Cubs 25. Arizona Diamondbacks 26. New York Mets 27. Chicago White Sox 28. Seattle Mariners 29. Houston Astros 30. San Diego Padres

2011 STANDINGS

Florida Marlins

AL EAST Team Yankees Rays Red Sox Orioles Blue Jays

One of the best stories in the National League this season are the Florida Marlins. With a very young ball club and great starting pitching the Marlins have caught up to the Phillies for first place in the division, and Josh Johnson looks like the early Cy Young favorite.

Alfonso Soriano Chicago Cubs

1. Miguel Cabrera, DET .352 BA, 7 HR, 22 RBI, 1.099 OPS

2. Jose Bautista, TOR .357 BA, 9 HR, 16 RBI, 1.292 OPS

3. Nelson Cruz, TEX .223 BA, 7 HR, 18 RBI, .755 OPS

4. Adrian Beltre, BOS .250 BA, 7 HR, 24 RBI, .780 OPS

5. Alex Rodriguez, NYY .268 BA, 5 HR, 18 RBI, .911 OPS

AL CY YOUNG AWARD RACE 1. Jered Weaver, LAA 6-1, 1.39 ERA, 55 K, 0.83 WHIP

2. C.C. Sabathia, NYY 2-2, 2.68 ERA, 42 K, 1.32 WHIP 3. Dan Haren, LAA 4-2, 1.76 ERA, 46 K, 0.82 WHIP

4. Felix Hernandez, SEA 3-2, 3.21 ERA, 45 K, 1.17 WHIP

5. David Price, TB 3-3, 3.95 ERA, 30 K, 1.27 WHIP

NL MOST VALUABLE PLAYER RACE 1. Matt Kemp, LAD .365 BA, 6 HR, 19 RBI, 1.027 OPS

2. Joey Votto, CIN .363 BA, 5 HR, 16 RBI, 1.100 OPS

Team Win-Loss Phillies 19-9 Marlins 18-9 Braves 15-15 Nationals 14-15 Mets 12-16

Two unbreakable baseball records Joe Dimaggio’s hitting streak was the most unbreakable record in sports, but that has changed Tom Sakash

Extra Innings Editor Recently, my poor colleague and resident Yankees fan Max Henson and I talked about the meaning of the MLB regular season.

We discussed the notion that fans become estranged from the game because, as Yankee fans, it’s easy to feel as though nothing can be accomplished in the regular season.

Regular season success for the Yankees is the bare minimum.

And thanks to an astronomical payroll, a playoff berth is viewed as a given or requirement.

So in effect, there’s no reason to watch until October when, as always, his Yankees will beat the Twins in the ALDS, then most likely face either the Red Sox or Angels the ALCS. Maybe he’s on to something. Maybe he’s right that the Yankees, even in one of the toughest divisions in the league, are always expected to make a deep playoff run. Maybe baseball lacks true competitive balance.

But there’s so much more to the game regardless of who’s playing that’s worth your time.

It starts on the mound.

There is no other sport where on any given night someone can make history like one can in baseball.

A pitcher takes the mound at about 7 p.m. local time. It’s their

sixth start of the season, and they’ve gone 2-2 with about a 4.25 ERA. Even though most people have scarcely heard of him before, about two hours later, ESPN has switched all of its coverage to the final outs of his game to show the guy throw a perfect game and insert his name in the record books for the rest of time.

You just don’t get anything like that in other sports.

Think about the simple artistry of pitching in general.

Pitchers with stuff that garner adjectives like ‘nasty’ or ‘filthy’ or ‘disgusting.’ If a hurler is throwing pitches that evoke those types of descriptions, I want to see it.

But wait, there’s more.

Let’s talk the home run ball. The sound sanded-down ash makes when a slugger hits one on the screws and drives it 450 feet is pure ecstasy. The pitcher doesn’t need to turn around because he already knows what stratosphere the ball is headed to, simply by the crack of the bat.

The left fielder doesn’t even move an inch from where he’s standing as the ball sails over his head.

And the best part is the guy who hit the home run gets to run around the mound, almost in mockery of the pitcher he just torched.

And that’s just a regular home run.

There are hardly

many other plays in sports that are more exciting than the insidethe-park home run variety (maybe a kickoff return for a touchdown, overtime in the NHL or the Kentucky Derby rivals it, but that’s about it).

Then, there’s the walk-off. It is the buzzer beater, the 50-yard field goal as time expires, the sudden death over time winner of baseball.

What a feeling it must be to collect the game winning hit, then watch your entire team crowd around the plate ready to mob you as you trot home.

But for as great as the home run is, for as great as hitting in general is in baseball, the most exciting part of the game is actually the defense.

The majority of highlights produced by the game don’t come from the batter’s box. They come from the field. It’s why the “Web Gems” segment culminates every episode of Baseball Tonight.

Think about leaping catches over the wall to rob home runs, diving catches in the outfield to snatch away base hits, Derek Jeter going deep in the hole, plucking the ball from the dirt then leaping while turning and firing one back to first in a play that defies physics.

Some believe the 6-4-3 double play is the most beautiful play in all of sports. And when the short-stop ranges to a ball up the middle, flips it behind his back

to the second baseman who bare-hands it and guns it down to first to roll ‘em up, that’s really hard to refute.

Then there are the players themselves, the men who day-in and day-out man the same positions for your favorite baseball team all summer.

When you’re a kid, you feel like you grow up with these guys.

When you’re older, you’re wise enough to grasp what a grind the regular season is for these players and how respectable it is that most of them (Manny Ramirez excluded) bust their butts every game, no matter the score, no matter the standings.

Some of the saddest days in a baseball fan’s life are when a favorite player retires. It’s as if they are losing a part of them, a part of their life that they have lived with for so long.

I’d literally trade my healthy dog for another summer watching the Big Hurt mash on the South side.

Finally, you have simple attendance of the live game. Sure, baseball is probably last of the four major sports in the U.S. in terms of wire-to-wire excitement, but there’s nothing like going to a baseball game on a hot summer day in July and taking in the alchemic sights and sounds.

Catch a foul ball, eat a hot dog (with mustard and grilled onions, no ketchup obviously) and enjoy the very best part of summer.

.290 BA, 7 HR, 17 RBI, .969 OPS

TRIPLE PLAY

.294 BA, 6 HR, 29 RBI, .901 OPS

4. Prince Fielder, MIL

Third Baseman Curse — The Giants, Nats, Cards and Rays have all lost their third

1.

NL CY YOUNG AWARD RACE 1. Roy Halladay, PHI

basemen this year to injury. Pablo Sandoval suffered the most recent injury, going down with a broken wrist, which will sideline the big panda, or whatever they call him in the Bay Area, for 4-6 weeks. Zimmerman was injured in early April with an abdominal strain, and Evan Longoria is supposed to return from his injury this week.

Bart! —Bartolo Colon’s career has been reborn! Now pitching for the Yankees, Colon has started

2.

2. Tim Lincecum, SF

the season with a 2-1 record and an impressive 3.00 era with 33 strikeouts and only six walks.

Colon hasn’t pitched this well since the glory years with the Indians. It will be interesting to see if he can remain healthy and continue contributing to the Yankee staff.

2-3, 2.90 ERA, 45 K, 1.07 WHIP

3. Josh Johnson, FLA 3-0, 0.88 ERA, 39 K, 0.71 WHIP

4. Matt Cain, SF 2-2, 3.53 ERA, 27 K, 1.23 WHIP

5. Cliff Lee, PHI 2-2, 3.66 ERA, 44 K, 1.12 WHIP

GB -.5 5 5.5 7

Team Win-Loss Cardinals 16-13 Pirates 14-15 Reds 14-15 Brewers 13-15 Cubs 12-16 Astros 12-17

GB -2 2 2.5 3.5 4

NL WEST Team Rockies Dodgers Giants D’Backs Padres

Win-Loss 17-9 15-15 13-15 12-15 11-18

GB -4 5 5.5 7.5

MLB BATTING LEADERS BATTING AVERAGE 1. Matt Holliday, STL 2. Lance Berkman, STL 3. Brett Wallace, HOU 4. Placido Polanco, PHI 5. Andre Ethier, LAD

.419 .402 .383 .375 .371

HOME RUNS 1. Alfonso Soriano, CHC 2. Ryan Braun, MIL 3. Lance Berkman, STL 4. Jose Bautista, TOR 5. Paul Konerko, CHW

11 10 9 9 8

RUNS BATTED IN 1. Ryan Howard, PHI 2. Lance Berkman, STL 3. Prince Fielder, MIL 4. Ben Zobrist, TAM 5. Paul Konerko, CWS

29 27 26 25 24

ON-BASE PCT 1. Jose Bautista, TOR 2. Matt Holliday, STL 3. Joey Votto, CIN 4. Lance Berkman, STL 5. Miguel Cabrera, DET

.530 .515 .492 .473 .470

SLUGGING PCT 1. Lance Berkman, STL 2. Jose Bautista, TOR 3. Ryan Braun, MIL 4. Matt Holliday, STL 5. Miguel Cabrera, DET

.773 .762 .686 .663 .629

MLB PITCHING LEADERS WINS 1. Jered Weaver, LAA 2. Justin Masterson, CLE Zach Britton, BAL 4. Dan Haren, LAA Cole Hamels, PHI

6 5 5 4 4

SAVES

4. Ryan Howard, PHI

4-1, 2.14 ERA, 47 K, .99 WHIP

GB -.5 1 3

NL CENTRAL

3. Troy Tulowitzki, COL

.318 BA, 6 HR, 26 RBI, .991 OPS

Win-Loss 16-13 16-14 15-14 13-16

NL EAST

BEST PITCHER

AL MOST VALUABLE PLAYER RACE

GB -4.5 7.5 9.5 10

AL WEST Team Rangers Angels Athletics Mariners

In Soriano’s last seven games he has slugged five home runs and six RBI while hitting .400 for the struggling Cubs. It appears Soriano is only worth the contract he signed when the games he’s playing in matter very little to his team.

In King Felix’s last two starts he went for 13 innings, scattering a combined 10 hits and four earned runs. After a shaky beginning to the season the reigning Cy Young has figured out his stuff and seems to be regaining his dominant form.

GB -2 4 4 5

AL CENTRAL Team Win-Loss Indians 19-8 Royals 15-13 Tigers 13-17 Twins 10-18 White Sox 11-20

BEST HITTER

Felix Hernandez Seattle Mariners

Win -Loss 17-10 16-13 14-15 13-14 13-16

3.

Sabermetric of the Week — Secondary average or SecA is supposed to complement the regular batting average stat. The difference between the two is batting average only measures hits to at bats, whereas SecA is an average that includes bases gained from other sources in each at bat. SecA = (Total Bases - hits + walks + stolen bases – caught stealing)/ (at bats).

1. Mariano Rivera, NYY 2. Huston Street, COL Leo Nunez, FLA 4. Joel Hanrahan, PIT 5. Brian Wilson, SF

11 10 10 9 8

EARNED RUN AVG 1. Josh Johnson, FLA 2. Jered Weaver, LAA 3. Dustin Moseley, SD 5. Dan Haren, LAA 5. Trevor Cahill, OAK

0.88 1.39 1.63 1.76 1.88

STRIKEOUTS 1. Jered Weaver, LAA 2. Justin Verlander, DET Matt Garza, CHC 4. Roy Halladay, PHI 5. Dan Haren, LAA

55 51 51 47 46

WHIP 1. Josh Johnson, FLA 2. Dan Haren, LAA 3. Jered Weaver, LAA Kyle Lohse, STL 5. Alexi Ogando, TEX

0.71 0.82 0.83 0.83 0.84

To place an ad in Classifieds:

MARY CULLEN, MCULLEN@BADGERHERALD.COM 257.4712 EXT. 311

page 12

WEDNESDAY, MAY 4, 2011

ATTENTION

FOR RENT

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4 BEDROOM (KOHL CENTER) for fall 2011. Large 4 bedroom, hardwoods, porch, parking, free laundry, huge basement for storage or whatever, call (608) 695-3937 for info or showing.

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BADGERHERALD.COM

Classifieds

HSO to summer being so close and to starting a countdown for the day that I will never have to see my roommate again!

SO to chacha for telling me that my boyfriend’s really weird because he was born that way. he’s on the right track baby.

ASO to that awkward tension when you’re walking between a human and a zombie.

ASO to being really awkward in bed and having a feeling that I might have inherited this from my father based on how awkward he is in general... What the hell dad, what the hell.

Shout out to the guy on the bus this morning who was planning a fake wedding for his friend tomorrow just so they can have a fake bachelor party tonight.

Glad you have an actual reason to go to strip clubs and drink now...

(A?)SO to having a dream about my friend’s hot, younger sister.

ASO to wakin up...

ASO you you you

to pants for giving the impression that lost weight...until wash and dry them.

HMFSO to anyone who has ever donated blood!

Four of you saved my fifteen year old sister this weekend : ) ASO to awkward, unwelcomed, and frequent run-ins. how hard can it be to avoid one person on such a big campus?!

THE BADGER HERALD

ASO to the toilet paper the school uses.

If I wanted to wipe my ass with sandpaper, I would’ve went to Ace Hardware to take a shit.

ASO to people who do fake ass smiles in pictures. We get it, you hate your life. Now smile like you mean it or GTFO. SO to OC for getting into the School of Nursing! DSO for her being even more excited seeing she got a SO posted about her.

ASO to the Vikings for picking Christian Ponder 12TH OVERALL. WTF. SO to packers fans, you just won the NFC North again SO to finally remembering not to eat meat on Friday without anyone telling me. ASO to 5 minutes later realizing that easter has passed...

SO to Adderall. The white, middle-class alternative to crack

ASO to being cock blocked by video games.

ASO to accidentally throwing up on my professor after him saying I couldn’t turn in my final paper. SO to him for feeling bad for me (or that i’m pathetic) that he let me turn it in.

SO to already ordering a JJ Watt jersey. ASO to not having money to eat. Priorities.

SO to seeing Smokey the Bear, Ron Dayne and Bucky all within 6 hours...

SO to TWO Badgers being drafted before a Buckeye.

SO to the girl in the boots. we’ve flirted all semester and im sorry its taken so long for me to man up and ask you out. I know youll be reading this on wednesday so better late than never.

HMFSO to J.J. Watt.

11th pick overall!

Woot!

ASO to the freshman 15.... Wait. Who am I kidding.. ASO to the freshman 20-30 SO to the girl from Wisconsin outside Buckingham Palace who just got interviewed on ABC. Way to represent with your Bucky shirt at the royal wedding!

SO to wanting a coastie/sconnie mix.

Alone, you are either toobitchy, or too hick, but combined, oh, the possibilities.

SO to the fact that this Royal Wedding bullshit is over. Can we focus on America now?

SO to the roommate starting to pack up the room today. Awesome!

I cannot wait to have sex without having you barge in at the most inopportune moment.

SO to napping off a hangover on Bascom hill SO to that small feeling of validation when you type something really weird into google and it autocompletes it for you. It’s just nice to know other people are fucked up too

WEDNESDAY, MAY 4, 2011

FOR RENT

CLASSIFIEDS FOR RENT

Large 3 bedroom with room for 5 near Engineering and stadium.

Remodeled bathroom with free parking, central air, dishwasher and more. $1795. 608-235-5931 ONE BEDROOM-- Large unit with huge closets, new paint and carpeting. Locked entry, on-site laundry, $670/mo. includes all utilities! 530 W. Main St., www.

McBrideCompanies.com, 608284-1800 TWO BEDROOM-- Generous bedroom size, two full bathrooms, walk in closet, dishwasher, breakfast bar, spectacular courtyard. 699 W. Mifflin St., $1230/month heat included. www.McBrideCompanies.com, 284-1800

THE BADGER HERALD, page 13

HMFASO to menstruation.

I’m on birth control.

You’re not supposed to happen until Sunday, but you show up the day before Mifflin? Is this some kind of hate message from God?

PARKING

SO to my birthday on friday and mifflin on saturday. thanks mom for the timing.

PARKING

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SO to getting up earlier on Mifflin than I have for any other day this semester.

SO to being the bigger person. Even while drunk. DSO to Mifflin.

After the month I’ve had, I need to get plastered and wake up in a stranger’s bathroom.

ASO to all the Mifflin SOs. We know - it was awesome, you were hungover by 5, and you’re pissed at your friends from out of town for being obnoxious.

ASO to the human heart.

Why can’t we have a choice in who we like?

SPORTS

Elliot is a junior majoring in journalism. How proud are you that “Wisconsin sports” and “scandals” are two phrases that stay far apart from each other? Let him know at ehughes@ badgerherald.com.

ASO to drunk texting my mom about how much I missed her not once, not twice, not three, but FOUR times on mifflin. DASO to her only responding twice..

ASO/SO? to remembering nothing but a few snippets of my time on mifflin. DSO to waking up, reading the shout-outs, and hoping i didnt stab anybody.

SO to Mifflin. I had SO to getting a birthdoubted that I would day BJ. DSO to getting enjoy you and then you a birthday BJ while came along and got me playing Ocarina of Time plastered, reunited me with hilarious friends, ASO to all 3000 of the gave me my first ever out-of-towners pouring five guys burger, and into Randall Station on kept on going until 2 Friday afternoon with am at which point you their pillows and their brought me amazing sex.

30 packs. Look like evTwice. Thank you. I ery single resident inwill never doubt you vited their entire high again. school to sleep on the living room floor for SO to the shotgunned Mifflin. natty light empties in College Library’s SO to Wisconsin. That bathroom. Got to love is all.

Mifflin.

SO the the spring weather making me want to make my inappropriate TA bang a reality...

a recruit on the last day of a period in which recruiting is disallowed.

Wisconsin reported that violation (as did Boise State for theirs) and while there are, of course, many other schools out there that have admirably clean records with the NCAA like Wisconsin’s, it’s something worth being proud of these days in college sports, where competition has seemingly gotten the better of the best in sports.

But Wisconsin is one of the best in sports as well. Wisconsin’s football team hasn’t missed a bowl game since 2001.

The men’s basketball squad hasn’t missed the tournament since 1998.

Men’s hockey has missed the NCAA tournament just three times in Mike Eaves’ nine-year tenure at Wisconsin (and he already has a championship).

The three teams have collected a multitude of conference championships along the way, as well.

So when you go home this summer and your friends from other schools with Division I sports programs thumb their noses at you for losing the Rose Bowl or losing the Frozen Four 5-0 or never making a deep enough run in March Madness, just remind them that the Badgers have been accomplishing plenty on an annual basis for just about a decade now.

Hardly any dips in performance, and all without the extra baggage of off-field blunders and scandals.

ASO to visitors who puked all over our bathroom. DASO to having to pee in a water bottle.

SO to the cop last night who told our friend he was “winning” Question SO to the nice when he blew a 0.105. weather: are you here ASO to drinking tickto stay yet? ets.

SUBLETS

HUGHES, from 16

SO to the amount of shout outs that you can tell have been typed by someone drunk. Only time you’ll ever catch a Badger spelling shit wrong.

SO to being arrested.

ASO to what this will do for my job prospects. Oh Mifflin.

SO to starting Mifflin right by waking with two traffic barrels in your room and no memory of how they got there.

ASO to having the first words you hear be “Why the hell did you piss on me last night”.’’

Page 14, WEDNESDAY, MAY 4, 2011

THE BADGER HERALD

SPORTS LETDOWN, from 16 from Krueger, who has continued to be a bright spot for the Badgers in her senior campaign.

The Portage native was named Big Ten Player of the Week after recording seven hits in 11 at-bats for the Badgers. After starting the conference season slowly at the plate, Krueger has responded with nabbing the first Player of the Week honors for Wisconsin since 2007.

“I was pretty excited,” Krueger said. “I had no idea it was coming until I was texted about it. I’ve been trying to win it my whole career, so it’s a nice accomplishment.”

Green Bay has talented players, including junior Alli Rivera. Rivera boasts a .325 batting average for a Phoenix offense that holds a team batting

OPPORTUNITIES, from 16 positive for Wisconsin as the team moves forward.

It isn’t often that freshmen can come in and contribute not only as players, but also as leaders of a team.

“They surprised me a lot just because from a freshman’s standpoint they’re supposed to be learning from the other girls,” Fleishman said.

“They’re supposed to be watching and seeing how the other girls on the team are doing it, and these two freshmen came in this year and really took a lot of initiative.”

Regardless of who returns to the team, if Wisconsin is going to succeed next year and improve its record in the Big Ten, it will take nothing less than hard work.

average of close to .250.

The Phoenix will most likely send senior Katie Cooney to the mound.

The jack-of-all-trades pitcher was named First-Team All-Horizon

I was pretty excited.

I had no idea it was coming until I was texted about it. I’ve been trying to win it my whole career, so it’s a nice accomplishment.

Jennifer Krueger Outfielder

League last year, as Cooney not only pitches for the Phoenix but also plays every game she’s not on the mound in the Over the offseason, in coordination with the strength and condition coach, Fleishman gives his players a stringent

They surprised me a lot just because from a freshman’s standpoint they’re supposed to be learning from the other girls.

Brian Fleishman Women’s Tennis Coach training schedule in order to stay in shape for the next year.

But as most of the players go home for the summer, it’s up to them to follow it.

“We have to find it

field.

“Pitching-wise, Cooney does a good job for them,” Healy said. “Dani Peerenboom is a hitter for them who doesn’t have huge numbers this year, but she’s a really good player. I saw her hit the ball a ton last year when I was coaching at Loyola.

They’re a scrappy, wellcoached team and you can’t take them for granted. We’ll have to play a good game to beat them.”

To Wisconsin players like Massei, playing great softball in the upcoming doubleheader is just as important as it was in the Michigan series.

“I think every game’s important for the team,” Massei said. “We want to finish these last six games as strong as we can. We’re just staying together as a team and keeping our mind focused on these within ourselves to work as hard as we can over the summer and improve upon our weaknesses so we can come out strong in the fall,” Hois said.

To begin next season, Fleishman believes that either Stracar or Hois will anchor the starting rotation at No. 1 singles.

But to begin turning around the close matches they’ll likely have, the top of the order can’t be the only successful part of the team.

“The best part of this team is our depth,” Berner said. “Everyone can compete at that number one spot; it depends on who’s playing well, who’s mentally more confident.

I think [No. 1 singles] is up for grabs, but it’s more about the depth of our team and being able to win at all six spots.”

WEDNESDAY, MAY 4, 2011

SPORTS

THE BADGER HERALD, page 15

Liriano records Minnesota’s 6th no-hitter Twins pitcher produces milestone in 1st complete game in 95 starts in majors CHICAGO (AP) — Francisco Liriano was running low on energy in the ninth inning. A nohitter within reach but his pitch count climbing, he relied on teammates to help him complete the best game of his career.

When shortstop Matt Tolbert grabbed Adam Dunn’s liner for the final out, completing the Minnesota Twins’ 1-0 win over the Chicago White Sox, Liriano was mobbed on the mound.

“To be honest I was running out of gas,” he said. “I just thank my teammates that they made some great plays behind me tonight.”

Liriano (2-4) walked six and struck out two in his first complete game in 95 major league starts. The 27-year-old left-hander, who reached the big leagues in 2005, matched his career high with 123 pitches.

“I can’t explain it. I feel so nervous and so happy right now,” Liriano said. “I can’t explain my feeling right now.”

He survived a rocky ninth inning that began when Brent Morel grounded to shortstop and Matt Tolbert made a one-hop throw that first baseman Justin Morneau scooped. Juan Pierre walked and Alexei Ramirez popped to shortstop.

Liriano fell behind Adam Dunn 3-0 in the count, then got a pair of strikes. After a foul ball, Dunn lined out to Tolbert.

“I thought it was a base hit,” Liriano said.

“When I saw him catch it I was so excited.”

Dunn dropped to 0 for 16 against left-handers this season.

“As soon as I hit it, I saw him, and it was right to him,” Dunn said.

“That’s pretty much the story of the day. There were some balls that, again, they made some great defensive plays.”

Liriano, the reigning AL comeback player of

To be honest I was running out of gas. I just thank my teammates that they made some great plays behind me tonight. I can’t explain it. I feel so nervous and so happy right now.

Francisco Liriano Minnesota Twins Pitcher

the year, was backed by Jason Kubel’s fourthinning homer. He threw just 66 pitches for strikes but kept Chicago offbalance in a game that took just 2 hours, 9 minutes.

In his previous start, he lasted just three innings in an 8-2 loss to Tampa Bay. The shutout lowered his ERA for the season from 9.13 to 6.61.

Liriano, 3-0 against the White Sox last season, walked Pierre leading off the first and Carlos Quentin with one out in the second, but both were erased on double plays. Chicago put two on in the fourth, and center fielder Denard Span raced into leftcenter to grab Quentin’s long drive.

With two outs in the seventh, third baseman Danny Valencia went behind the bag and into foul territory to grab Quentin’s hard hopper and then made a strong throw to first.

Minnesota turned its third double play in the

eighth, when Morneau took an offline throw from second baseman Alexi Casilla and umpire Paul Emmel called Gordon Beckham out — replays appeared to show Morneau missed the tag.

Ramirez hit two of the hardest balls off Liriano.

He lined out to third in the first and sent a hard liner foul past third in the sixth.

Edwin Jackson (2-4) lost his fourth straight start despite allowing six hits in eight innings. Then with Arizona, Jackson nohit Tampa Bay last June 26 despite walking eight.

It was the seventh no-hitter for the TwinsWashington Senators franchise and the first since Eric Milton’s against the Angels on Sept. 11, 1999. It was the first nohitter in the major leagues since Philadelphia’s Roy Halladay’s against Cincinnati in last year ’s NL division series.

The White Sox were no-hit for the 13th time, the first since they were beaten by Kansas City’s Bret Saberhagen on Aug. 26, 1991.

Liriano was acquired in 2003 in the famously lopsided trade that also brought Joe Nathan to Minnesota in exchange for A.J. Pierzynski.

He burst onto the scene in 2006, going 12-3 with a 2.16 ERA and dominating overmatched hitters with an untouchable slider.

But the violent delivery caused him to develop arm problems toward the end of that season and had elbow-ligament replacement surgery that November.

His road back has been a long and difficult one.

He missed all of 2007, then struggled to regain his form over the next two years, leading some to wonder if he ever would make it all the way back after going 5-13 with a 5.80 ERA in 2009.

NOTES: The Twins moved Casilla, who had four errors in 21 games at shortstop, to second base. ... Twins DH Jim Thome was a late scratch.

Seven players with batting averages under .200 started the game — four Associated Press for the Twins and three for Twins pitcher Francisco Liriano (right) hugs catcher Drew Butera the White Sox.

(left) after completing a no-hitter in a 1-0 win vs. the White Sox.

Sports Editor:

MAX HENSON, SPORTS@BADGERHERALD.COM 257.4712 EXT. 131

WEDNESDAY, MAY 4, 2011

SPORTS page 16

THE BADGER HERALD

Badgers look to avoid letdown vs. UW-GB UW batters expect huge day after difficult outing against MU over weekend Nick Korger Softball Writer

After taking part in a hyped and important matchup, teams in every sport have the tendency to overlook their next game, often being upset by a much lesser opponent.

Wisconsin (26-21, 6-10) looks to avoid a letdown when it hosts Green Bay (20-21, 7-13) at Goodman Diamond Wednesday in the final doubleheader of the season. The Badgers hope to finish their last non-conference series on a strong note, as the Phoenix have been a pesky foe in recent history. The two teams have split the series the last two years.

The Badgers will face a large drop off in opponent depth as the team comes off a rough weekend series against Michigan, a team ranked second in the country. Head coach Yvette Healy recognizes the danger of a letdown game after facing such an elite team like Michigan.

“I’ve seen letdowns hundreds of times,” Healy said. “I’ve coached at the mid-major level Zhao Lim The Badger Herald and we made a living off Against No. 2 Michigan, freshman pitcher Cassandra Darrah held the Wolverines to just one run of catching teams when in a 2-1 loss on Sunday. The Badgers look to rebound against UW-GB, who’s one game below .500. they weren’t expecting

it. We really talked to the team about being up for this game. If we can get them excited and hungry for one more mid-week series, we’re going to be really proud.”

Wisconsin will look to their young rotation on the mound to spearhead the effort against Green Bay. The Badgers’ pitching staff has looked solid of late with freshman

If we can get them excited and hungry for one more midweek series, we’re going to be really proud.

Yvette Healy Head Coach

Cassandra Darrah looking terrific for the Badgers on the mound against Michigan, holding the potent Wolverine offense to one run Sunday. Fellow Wisconsin freshman Amanda Najdek has also been consistent, posting an ERA of only 2.00 in her last 59 innings of work.

“It’s all about pitching,” Healy said. “When we’ve pitched well it’s set the tone and given us more time to score runs. If the pitchers can do their jobs and really attack hitters

and keep the score down, I think it will give the offense time to work.”

Wisconsin’s offense will look to revitalize its bats facing a weaker Green Bay pitching staff after a string of frustrating games against Michigan.

However, the Badgers reaped the benefits of experience this past weekend as their young lineup faced an AllAmerican and Big Ten Pitcher of the Year in the Wolverines’ Jordan Taylor.

“A big positive from last weekend was that we made adjustments off of Taylor,” freshman Mary Massei said. “I think we did a really great job staying strong on Sunday after a hard loss on Saturday.”

“We’ll have to make sure we focus like we’re playing the same great Michigan team,” senior Jennifer Krueger said. “If we play with the same intensity and focus we had this weekend we should be fine. We’ll have to make some adjustments to the Green Bay pitcher because she’s not Taylor, so we’ll be focusing on making the adjustments early to get into a offensive groove.”

Wisconsin hopes to receive a big contribution

LETDOWN, page 14

Take pride in Wisconsin’s clean off-field record with NCAA Elliot Hughes Hughe’s Your Daddy?

Wisconsin has three sports teams that are a source of revenue for the school — football, men’s basketball and men’s hockey. Thus, they are in the spotlight and have the most fans.

Every year, the expectations for all three teams are relatively high, despite not being a popular brand on the national scene.

Football fans are always on their toes for their next

chance to go to the Rose Bowl. Men’s basketball fans will riot if they don’t make the NCAA tournament, and they are also hard-pressed for a deep run. Men’s hockey fans want the Kohl Center dressed in full regalia of title banners.

And how have these teams faired in just the last year or so?

The football team returned to Pasadena, only to lose by two points.

Men’s basketball again accepted a tournament invitation and won two games, but did not reach the Final Four or the Elite Eight (which has happened only once in Bo Ryan’s tenure).

Men’s hockey lost last year’s championship, 5-0, and after an admirable run

with such a young squad, failed to make the NCAA tournament this year.

The minds of Wisconsin fans are even-tempered in that the disappointments that came with the above achievements are not something worth throwing a temper tantrum over, unlike what you’ll find within the irrational fan bases of SEC football (just ask national champion LSU head coach Les Miles).

Still, those don’t exactly satisfy expectations.

While it’s true that other programs probably face more pressure to shoulder, you could still say there’s a good amount of it on Wisconsin’s programs to be tip-top year-in and year-out, as well.

And despite the amount

of pressure on Wisconsin programs and the boiling amount of competition in the Big Ten and especially the WCHA, you don’t see any shameful NCAA recruiting violations surrounding the school, do you?

Look around at the national college landscape — specifically men’s basketball and football — and it seems like scandals are ubiquitous.

Just Monday it was revealed that, according to ESPN.com, Boise State has been dabbling in some unethical practices as of late. Prospective football players, from 2005 to 2009, received $4,934 dollars for housing, transportation and meals. Four other Boise State sports teams were involved in improper

practices, as well.

Ohio State’s been in the news lately too. Their head coach, Jim Tressel, a previously believed-tobe professor of coaching, winning and ethics, currently finds himself at the center of the NCAA’s ire for withholding information about five of his players who accepted improper benefits.

And those are just two of the most recent cases. There’s the fiasco at USC, which resulted in a returned Heisman Trophy, a fleeing head coach, a two-year ban from bowl games and no responsibility taken, either from Reggie Bush, Pete Carroll or then-athletic director Mike Garrett (who accused the NCAA of “envy”).

There have been academic violations at North Carolina’s football team, Bruce Pearl’s unethical and misleading violations at Tennessee and John Calipari’s trail of bad breadcrumbs that include academic fraud with Derrick Rose and Eric Bledsoe.

Even newly crowned three-time champion of a head coach Jim Calhoun will begin next season with a suspension after failing to create an atmosphere of compliance with the UConn basketball team.

What kinds of strings are being pulled at Wisconsin?

I could only find one case: in April of 2009 when three football coaches visited

HUGHES, page 13

Badgers reflect on season’s end, opportunities waiting next year Most of team will return after Wisconsin finishes with 14-10, 5-5 record Tom Sakash Women’s Tennis Writer For the Wisconsin women’s tennis team and the 2011 season, the curtain closes on a heartbreaking scene.

After grabbing the first three points of its conference tournament quarterfinal match against Ohio State this past weekend, Wisconsin proceeded to drop four straight matches and lose to the Buckeyes once again, 4-3.

Though the Badgers finished the year with a winning record (14-10, 5-5), the loss to Ohio State mirrors many of those they suffered throughout the course of the regular season.

“That’s honestly been the story of the last couple of years with this tennis program,” sophomore Hannah Berner said.

“We’re competitive, but we don’t pull out the big wins.”

Looking ahead to next season, it’s those close matches the team needs to begin turning around in its favor.

This year, Wisconsin lost four matches 4-3 and another match 5-2 after winning the doubles point.

Still, even with several tough losses, head coach Brian Fleishman believes the season was still very much a success.

“This is the best season we’ve had in 10 years here at Wisconsin, which says a lot about the girls that are on the team right now,” Fleishman said.

The Badgers do have several positives to draw from as they prepare for the forthcoming fall season.

The team will return the majority of its starting lineup, but not senior captain Jessica Seyferth.

The minimal lineup turnover is important, according to Berner, as the team had a difficult time at the beginning of the season adjusting to the new players on the team this year.

And as college tennis is a team sport, chemistry is paramount.

“Four newcomers is a half a team,” Berner said.

“I think that might be why it has taken us so long to mesh well. But I think for next year we’ll definitely be more comfortable, we’ll

know what we’re getting ourselves into.”

Wisconsin will, however, add one more piece to the puzzle, as it has recruited Germannative Sarah Loebel to come play in Madison next season.

According to Fleishman, the German tennis season is played mostly indoors, and as most of Wisconsin’s matches also take place inside, her experience should immediately help the team.

What’s more impressive to Fleishman, though, is Loebel’s game itself.

“She’s a baseliner that hits a flat ball,” Fleishman said. “She’s a very fast player, very quick around the court and athletic enough to retrieve and play defense. That’s a good combination.”

Fleishman believes his new recruit will come in and contribute at a high level right away. The head coach also hopes Loebel will push freshmen standouts Nicky Stracar and Jenny Hois, both of whom had impressive first years for the Badgers.

Stracar and Hois themselves are another

OPPORTUNITIES, page 14

Laura Hill The Badger Herald

Amanda Seyferth and the rest of the Badgers experienced a frustrating season in the spring of 2011. Wisconsin finished with a 14-10 record but frequently failed to pull through in close matches.