Diversions - Fall 2015

STUDENT MEDIA AT THE UNIVERSITY OF WISCONSIN

TUESDAY, DECEMBER 15, 2015 路 DIVERSIONS 路 BADGERHERALD.COM

The Badger Herald Presents to you

d k b i p f y i p v v i e p o a l r e x e u v o e r b t e o c n s e i y e m b i e x a m r r a u y b p f x e o s q d f a m b c o e s i p y z t y v e o p c o e a i e r x p f u i n z r q i k l v p c t s Designed by Julia Kampf

Give yourself a gift this Holiday Season and Wrap Up Your 2016 Apartment Search! www.jsmproperties.com

608-255-3933 101 N Mills Street

䰀䔀䄀刀一⸀䜀刀伀圀⸀䔀䄀刀一 䴀匀䌀刀 䤀匀 䠀䤀刀䤀一䜀 䘀伀刀 匀倀刀䤀一䜀 匀䔀䴀䔀匀吀䔀刀℀ 䜀攀琀 攀渀最愀最攀搀 眀椀琀栀 䴀匀䌀刀 ⠀䴀愀搀椀猀漀渀 匀挀栀漀漀氀 ☀ 䌀漀洀洀甀渀椀琀礀 刀攀挀爀攀愀琀椀漀渀⤀ⴀ䴀愀搀椀猀漀渀✀猀 栀愀瀀瀀礀 瀀氀愀挀攀℀ 䤀渀琀攀爀瘀椀攀眀椀渀最 昀漀爀 琀栀攀猀攀 樀漀戀 漀瀀攀渀椀渀最猀㨀 䄀昀琀攀爀猀挀栀漀漀氀⼀䔀氀攀洀攀渀琀愀爀礀 䰀攀愀搀攀爀猀 䄀昀琀攀爀猀挀栀漀漀氀⼀䴀椀搀搀氀攀 匀挀栀漀漀氀 䰀攀愀搀攀爀猀 䄀昀琀攀爀猀挀栀漀漀氀 䄀猀猀椀猀琀愀渀琀 䐀椀爀攀挀琀漀爀猀 匀眀椀洀 䤀渀猀琀爀甀挀琀漀爀猀⼀䰀椀昀攀最甀愀爀搀猀 匀瀀漀爀琀猀 ꀀ☀ 䘀椀琀渀攀猀猀 倀漀猀椀琀椀漀渀猀 䄀一䐀 䴀伀刀䔀℀

䄀瀀瀀氀礀 漀渀氀椀渀攀 渀漀眀℀ 眀眀眀⸀洀猀挀爀⸀漀爀最

Support for Women & Babies

Support for Women & Babies

Helpline

Pregnancy

Se Habla Español.

608-222-0008 pregnancyhelpline.net

˜ Se Habla Espanol.

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DIVERSIONS

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P.C. CHRISTMAS

MICHAEL HILLIGER

hilligercartoon@gmail.com

CARTOONISTS

SAMURAI JACK

comicsclubuw@gmail.com

See a new cartoonist featured every day, including American comic artists, mangaka, and local talent at patreon.com/joshthecartoonguy!

1

Take a class PAGE 4 PUZZLE ANSWERS FOR YA’ CHEATING QUITTERS

online

with uwco

save

2

money 3

FOR THE CONVENIENCE OF OUR DIGNIFIED, DILIGENT, AND DEBONAIR READERS, THE NEW YORK TIMES WISHES TO PROVIDE THIS CONVENIENT ANSWER KEY TO THE WORLD-RENOWNED NEW YORK TIMES CROSSWORD PUZZLE ON PAGE 7

A Q U A I Q S T R I C I A

December 15, 2015 • badgerherald.com • 3

Transfer the credits back

to UW Madison

online.uwc.edu 877-449-1877

Apply now!

for Winterim & Spring

L U N G

K A T E

A G P I R A O N F N T R S S A Q U C U U I C E D A M A R O S

S T E R Q U U S O S I A N O K T N E N L I T E C E

I G M A R O R S A L I T E D R F O U S A T U M T A S I S H I N K N E E S G E B E R T O N U T I E G E S T

I C I N E S S Y O U T H

N O N E N A T A L I E

E R R Y A E

G O R G O N Z O L A

L I E L O W

S E R E N E

S E M I

A C I D

A D E E

DIVERSIONS BUCKY AND BECKY: THE END

@badgerherald TONY RIBOSOMI

ATTENTION QUITTING CHEATERS! YOU WILL FIND THE ANSWERS TO THESE PUZZLES ON PAGE 3. BUT WILL YOU FIND THE ANSWERS TO LIFE SO EASILY?

Exquisite Telephone!

The hilarious drawing/ guessing game played by the UW Comics Club! Read them by searching “ComicsUW” at webtoons.com! Find the rules online to play with a group of friends!

WANDO’S: TUESDAY NIGHT FREE BACON NIGHT! $1.25 PBR & MILLER LITE

Stop by for Holiday Gift Ideas

Sweatshirts, T-shirts, Gift Cards & MORE!

comics@badgerherald.com

SUDOKU

Fill every row, column and 3x3 box with a 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, and 9. Do not repeat numbers.

DIFFICULTY RATING: Easier than punching out Jarr Jarr Binks.

SUDOKU

MONSTER Fill every row, column and 4x4 box with a 0, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, A, B, C, D, E, and F. Do not repeat numbers.

DIFFICULTY RATING: Harder than Contra.

4 • badgerherald.com • December 15, 2015

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DIVERSIONS SUPER ARMY BROS.

SAMURAI JACK

These and other geeky designs are available on tees here: redbubble.com/peop l e / j o s h t h e c a r t o o n g u y.

Support a local artist!

FLAKY THE SNOW CAT: ONCE UPON A NUGGET

HAZEL FLUFFYPANTS

comicsclubuw@gmail.com

NOTE FROM THE COMICS EDITOR: The Badger Herald is pleased to share the first few pages of this wonderful comic, which won a 2015 University Book Store Award. This Madison cartoonist has dedicated remarkable time and energy to planning events and finding opportunities for the UW Comics Club. Hazel Fluffypants’ work, including the complete Hydrated Tourist Penguin in Paris, is for sale on 15, Etsy 6available • badgerherald.com • December 2015and during special events hosted by the UW Comics Club. It’s a perfect Christmas present for comic lovers!

Nulla Dies Sine Linea

DIVERSIONS

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DOWN 1 One of the Nixon daughters 2 Things cooks wear 3 Creature that attacked the Nautilus in “Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea” 4 Tree whose name contains all five vowels 5 Tie up, as a turkey 6 “Dies ___” (Latin hymn) 7 Top prize at the Olympics 8 Diagnostic scan, briefly 9 “The Jetsons” dog 10 Actress Portman 11 The “A” in DNA 12 Final Four game 13 “Zip-___-Doo-Dah” 19 One’s early years 21 Mrs., in Munich 24 Period of widespread food shortage 26 Residents of Provo and Salt Lake City 27 “Wake Up Little ___” (#1 Everly Brothers hit)

29 Italian blue cheese 30 Alternative to All 31 Bread for a Reuben 33 “Believe It or ___!”

34 Condescending cluck 35 Stats for Mensa 36 Actor’s prompt 40 Sporty Chevys 41 Prepared to propose, in the traditional way 42 Extremely aloof demeanor 43 Alternative to all 47 Stay out of sight, as a criminal 48 Tranquil 50 Aunt and uncle’s little girl 51 French playwright Jean 52 & 53 Pioneering mechanical breathing apparatus 54 Actress Winslet 55 Suffix with major 56 ___ de Boulogne (Parisian park) 58 As snug as a bug in a ___

BATCAT

comicsclubuwmadison.tumblr.com

PUZZLE BY PAWEL FLUDZINSKI. SOLUTION ON PAGE 3.

ACROSS 1 Game in which to cry “You’re it!”

4 Mark of disgrace 10 Curiosity rover launcher 14 Campus in Troy, N.Y. 15 Blunders 16 Got a hole in one on 17 Nest egg inits.

18 Period of undivided attention, as with a spouse or child 20 Addled 22 Band aide 23 Emcees’ deliveries 24 One of six allowed to an N.B.A. player 25 Very, in music 26 Springsteen’s “Born in the ___” 28 Detroit ballplayer 32 Noted Max Planck contribution to physics 35 Post-E.R. locale 37 Desert refuge 38 “Norma ___” (Sally Field film) 39 Skill useful for handling an emergency 44 Chrysler 300 or BMW 740 45 Born, in bios 46 Refrigerates

49 The “M” in Y.M.C.A. 51 ___ Mae (government lender)

60 Golden rule preposition

52 ___ metals (periodic table group)

61 Babies (aww …) … or an aural hint to 18-, 32-, 39- and 57-Across

55 Mr. Scrooge

62 Chaney of chillers

57 1/24 of an octave

63 Ripens, as cheese

59 Bullring bravo

65 Blow away

64 Disgorges

7-Close

Monday

$1.50 P.B.R. Pints $2.00 Rail Drinks

Tuesday

$3.50 Gin or Irish Whiskey Drinks $1.00 OFF 1/2 Pitchers $2.00 OFF Pitchers

Wednesday

$3.50 Jack Daniels, Absolut Vodka OR Stoli Drinks $3.00 Wisconsin Brewed Bottles

Thursday

$2.50 Long Islands $3.00 Craft Beer Pints

9-Close

ATEM

Friday

$2.50 Rail Mixers $2.00 P.B.R. Pints

Saturday

$2.50 Domestic Bottles

B Lukewarm Redbull discarded like it never meant anything at all

I N G O Sad delivery man shuffling outside searching for the brand new owner of a large 2-topping pizza

Girl with 11 stacks of brightly colored notecards, 36 gel pens and a bottle of Ibuprofen

Cleaning up Jimmy Johns mess with napkins from Asian Kitchen lunch only to make room for Wings Over Madison dinner

Disgustingly beautiful couple studying together reminding you that finals or no finals, your love life is sure as hell below the curve

Suspicious free snacks and small dogs all over campus and everyone knew except you

Student who has taken the liberty of removing shoes and sitting cross legged on plastic chair Gentle snoring from underneath teetering stack of chemistry notes and Snickers wrappers

Phone goes off in the quiet section; cue maximum volume R Kelly ringtone Increasingly hysterical sobbing as career goals come crashing down and headphones won’t untangle

Kids who have very obviously not entered the library since their high school campus tour

Are you playing Candy Crush

Free (until your next exam)

Chewed up wad of gum on the underside of the very table you’re sitting at right now.

Go on, prove me wrong

Group of six freshman shocked to not find table at college at 7pm on Sunday

Group of six freshmen shocked to not find table at college at 7pm on Sunday

Muffed swearing at the perpetually dysfunctional printers at literally any library anywhere ever

Student spending Blankets. And less time studying for Calc final, more pillows. This is not time calculating a drill lowest grade he can afford on said final Frantically refreshing learn@UW until your biology TA posts score for 5 point discussion quiz, because THAT will save your hopeless grade

Vending machine decision angst

At least one member of your study group loudly asserts “I like, am literally going to drop out”

3 to 1 coffee student ratio

Entitled douche drinking a Fiji water

“If looks could kill,” re: single student monopoly on a 6 person window table Yusra Murad Designed by Julia Kampf

8 • badgerherald.com • December 15, 2015