'Politics meets hiring' - Volume 48, Issue 28

STUDENT MEDIA AT THE UNIVERSITY OF WISCONSIN

TUESDAY, MAY 2, 2017 · VOL 48 ISSUE 28 · BADGERHERALD.COM

POLITICS MEETS HIRING Visas for high-skilled workers face scrutiny from President Donald Trump’s administration with implications for UW researchers.

Page 16

From the Desk of the Editor: Finding purpose in accidents

To make a long story short, the Herald has been the source of my highest of highs, lowest of lows

by Hayley Sperling Editor-in-Chief

Nearly three years ago, I joined The Badger Herald by accident.

I timidly walked to the office on West Johnson Street with a friend who convinced me to attend an interest meeting. At the time, I was just a sophomore already heavily involved in (too) many other extracurricular activities.

I didn’t like writing, I didn’t follow the news and I definitely didn’t care about some school newspaper.

Yet, about 20 minutes into the meeting, I found myself signing away my name and contact information. Suddenly, I was no longer an anonymous student at the University of Wisconsin, I was a reporter.

My first article for the Herald was, for lack of a better term, boring.

The article was headlined “Madison Water Utility increasing rates for first time in years.” It didn’t make the front page, it wasn’t published with a photo and likely very few people (other than my parents) actually read it. But after it was published, I was hooked. I was hooked on the rush of the interview, hooked on seeing my name in print and, most of all, hooked on the newsroom and community culture at the Herald.

In my time at the Herald, I’ve met some of my best friends, talked to presidential candidates, covered stories that received national attention

and eaten enough Paul’s Pel’meni to feed a small country. I’ve also sat through seemingly endless city meetings only for a story to get cut, cried in the office too many times to count and stressed myself out to the point of panic.

To make a long story short, the Herald has been the source of my highest of highs and lowest of lows. It’s not easy to manage a staff full of students who, just like you, have work and lives outside of the office. It’s not easy to lead a staff during a time of transition — this year marked the first that Herald staffers were not paid for the hours of work they dedicated to the publication.

Throughout my tenure as editor-in-chief, I often looked back in awe of the Herald’s past leaders who managed to achieve such great success while dealing with much bigger transitions. Without the guidance and incredible leadership from those who came before me, the Herald would not be on the path to success it is on today.

The Herald was never meant to follow tradition. We’ve been a thorn in someone’s side since 1969. Change is the only thing that has ever been consistent in the Herald’s history (aside from kickass content, of course). These transitions, as uncertain as they may have seemed, have been successful because infinite dedication from the people who call this often beer-soaked office “home.”

The passion of the people who work (read: volunteer) at the Herald is nothing short of inspiring. I’ve seen countless people find their

passions in the newsroom and find success after graduation because of the Herald. I owe so much of my own professional success to the lessons I’ve learned at the Herald.

I’ve also made my fair share of mistakes at the Herald. I’ve even questioned my own judgement until I spun into existential crisis.

But from these mistakes, I’ve learned to persevere and accept the fact some things cannot be changed.

At the beginning of this academic year I wrote that in our 47th year of production, the Herald would do more than simply exist — we would thrive. I can truly say with confidence we did just that. We’ve solidified partnerships in the community, expanded our digital presence and produced content that has had real impact on campus. I’m so incredibly proud of what this staff has achieved. I cannot write this column without giving particular thanks to my management team. Nina, Emily and Riley, none of this would have been possible without you.

Soon I’ll be handing over my keys to the incredibly smart, capable and overall badass Alice Vagun. I have no doubt she and her team will continue to never settle for simply existing.

I joined the Herald by accident but it gave me a purpose. #BH4LYFE Hayley Sperling (hsperling@badgerherald.com) is a senior majoring in journalism.

Katie Cooney The Badger Herald

THANK YOU to The Badger Herald’s Pillars

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Published since Sept. 10, 1969

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FUTURE OF MEDICAL MARIJUANA 5 As bill that would legalize CBD oil passes, some legislators believe it could pave the way for medical marijuana in Wisconsin.

Board of Directors

COMEDIC IMPRESSIONIST

13

James Adomian returns to Madison with fresh bits of impersonations and political commentary.

SHINING SPRING MOMENTS

23

Even without championships, Wisconsin sports brought fans plenty to cheer for this semester.

Jason Joyce Davy Mayer Polo Rocha Paul Temple

5 16

NEWS

6

FEATURE

PHOTO PAGE

18

OPINION

12

ARTS

23

SPORTS EDITORIAL BOARD HEADLINERS

27

DIVERSIONS

30

STAFF PHOTO

18

From divestment to budget to free speech, The Badger Herald editorial board grants awards to the most notable people and occurances this semster on campus, in the city of Madison and within the state of Wisconsin.

MADTOWN CRIER

@badgerherald

Tuesday 5/2 Lewis Del Mar at High Noon Saloon, 8 p.m., $14

Madtown refuses to slow down. Here are some upcoming events The Badger Herald recommends to keep you up to speed.

Thursday 5/4

Friday 5/5

Scott H. Biram at The Frequency,

Manic Focus at Majestic Theater, 9 p.m., $18

Courtesy of Flickr User Môsieur J.

Wednesday 5/3 Acid Mothers Temple at The Frequency, 7:30 p.m., $12

Thursday 5/4 Black Music Ensemble at Wisconsin Union Theater, 8:30 p.m., FREE

Friday 5/5 Froth at Der Rathskeller, 9 p.m., FREE

Saturday 5/6 UW Cinematheque: Special Presentations at Union South, 7 p.m., FREE

Courtesy of Flickr User Swimfinfan

Sunday 5/7 Malcolm London at The Frequency, 8:30 p.m., $10

Saturday 5/6

Monday 5/8

Laura Marling at Majestic Theater, 9 p.m., $20

Frontier Ruckus at The Frequency, 8 p.m., $12

Courtesy of Wikimedia Commons

NEWS

@badgerherald

New CBD oil law may open door Dairy experts hope tasty, healthy, to medical marijuana in Wisconsin UW invention could ease dairy crisis Democrats hope legislation’s passage could mean introduction ‘Athlete Treat’ is made with cherries, hibiscus, omega-3 acids, could of similar initiatives to legalize other, similar substances protect industry after Canadian milk dispute

by Izabela Zaluska Copy Associate

Even after Gov. Scott Walker signed a bill into law late last month that allows for the possession of a medical marijuana extract — called CBD oil — Rep. David Bowen, D-Milwaukee, said this is “not enough” for Wisconsinites.

People in the state of Wisconsin who need access to CBD oil would still have to go to great lengths to access it since the bill does not allow for production or delivery of the oil in the state, Bowen said.

“It would make sense to allow that accessibility barrier to be removed so folks who are suffering won’t have to jump through hoops to get access to a natural resource,” Bowen said.

An amendment Rep. Chris Taylor, D-Madison, introduced would allow for people to produce and prepare the oil in Wisconsin for those who need it, but it did not have support from Republicans.

“We agreed parents should be able to use this oil, but how are they going to get it?” Taylor said.

Bowen said there are a number of ailments which can be treated with CBD oil, especially seizures.

Rep. Scott Krug, R-Nekoosa, said in a statement that CBD oil is a “big step” in providing treatment options for individuals with medical conditions.

“There is no slippery slope, there is no worry of people getting high on CBD oil,” Krug said.

“The levels of THC grant relief for many medical conditions, but are limited.”

But CBD oil does not provide the same benefits medical marijuana would, such as pain management, chronic conditions like cancer and making sure patients are able to eat when

Designed by Greta Zimmermann

going through vigorous treatments, Taylor said.

Medical marijuana could address a number of serious health issues, she said.

Taylor introduced a bill, known as the Compassionate Cannabis Care Act, that would legalize medical marijuana in the state of Wisconsin earlier this year.

“We’re way behind in allowing patients to access this medication that they need,” Taylor said. “Policymakers need to listen to their constituents and make sure patients are not being treated as criminals.”

But even with the passage of the CBD oil bill, Bowen said there is still a wide gap in the Legislature when it comes to getting all members on the same page when it comes to the benefits of medical marijuana. But Bowen and Taylor agreed the CBD oil legislation is slightly better for the conversation and gave voice to the issue.

“It’s good for the state of Wisconsin to recognize that a natural substance that can be medically prescribed by a doctor can help individuals,” Bowen said.

For some individuals, using prescription drugs leads to addiction or may lead to heroin abuse, Taylor said. Medical marijuana, however, does not have the addictive properties or side effects of prescription drugs.

When it comes to the next step of medical marijuana in Wisconsin, Bowen and Taylor said they would like to see bills concerning medical marijuana get hearings. Bowen said he would like to hear the public comment on those bills and create an environment for discussion.

“It would allow us and the public to have a real conversation about medical marijuana and the people that can be prescribed it instead of opiates, which we know can be very addictive,” Bowen said.

by Hannah Miller Reporter

In the wake of a statewide dairy crisis, University of Wisconsin Chancellor Rebecca Blank pushed to research alternative uses for dairy products to increase innovation and consumption.

Dairy industries across Wisconsin became concerned after a Canadian company dropped 75 dairy-producing farms. Local farmers were left with thousands of gallons of milk and no processors, anticipating losing contracts starting May 1, Bill Klein, manager of Babcock Hall Dairy Plant, said.

Dairy scientists, the athletic department and agricultural and applied economics researchers worked separately to find solutions to the dairy crisis, Klein said.

After two years of development, dairy scientists have crafted a specialty ice cream which is enriched with nutritious ingredients to help athletes recover after strenuous physical activity.

Klein worked in collaboration with John Dettmann, director of performance for UW Athletics, to create a formula for ice cream that would be healthy, but still taste good.

“We were trying to find a way to feed these athletes the best way possible while still using resources on campus,” Klein said.

The “Athlete Treat” is made with cherries, hibiscus and omega 3 acids. Klein said the ice cream has light ingredients “that are actually good for you.”

Developments for the healthy ice cream has opened a new potential consumer market for dairy products on campus, Klein said.

But Brian Gould from the department of Agricultural and Applied Economics claimed that finding alternative uses for milk isn’t necessarily the solution.

“We don’t need more milk,” Gould said.

“We have too much milk in the United States.”

The main issue of the milk crisis between Wisconsin and Canada is the lack of capacity to process milk, Gould said.

Since the 1940’s, agricultural technology has increased in efficiency, Gould said in reference to a graph he provided for The Badger Herald. Output per cow has grown exponentially, meaning that farms can produce milk faster than processing plants can turn it into sellable products.

“It’s not that we don’t have new product

— it’s that we don’t have the capacity to process it.” Gould added.

Private investments in processing technology and plant construction could help alleviate the limited physical capacity, Gould said.

Although there may be limited processing capacity, Klein emphasized the need to remain innovative.

“The dairy industry has to do something new,” Klein said. “You can’t survive on losing 3 percent of consumer sales [in milk consumption] every year.”

Klein explained the consumer market for milk is changing because there are an increasing number of alternatives to milk, including juice and sports drinks.

The healthy ice cream demonstrates a step in the right direction, Klein said. The product isn’t being sold publicly, but has received positive reviews from UW athletes in the processing stages.

In addition to helping student athletes on campus, the specialty ice cream would be an effective recruiting tool to give the athletics program another unique edge, Klein added.

“We gave it to the football players after the ‘Spring Game’ and it was a hit,” Klein said.

Babcock will continue to develop the cherry-hibiscus treat, eventually adding other flavors to the healthy ice cream product line, Klein said.

Designed by Greta Zimmermann May 2, 2017 • badgerherald.com • 5

PHOTO

Mifflin Street Block Party

@badgerherald

Photo · Rain and chilly weather didn’t stop partiers from carrying on the annual tradition over the weekend, with crowd totals almost tripling those of last year.

Riley Steinbrenner The Badger Herald

6 • badgerherald.com • May 2, 2017

NEWS

facebook.com/badgerherald

Designed by Greta Zimmermann

Student-researcher uses art, rap music to teach astrobotany

UW junior believes integrating artwork into his website helps make scientific information more accessible to peers

by Kai Brito Reporter

As a child, University of Wisconsin student Kai Nakano Rasmussen had big dreams of becoming an astronaut one day.

He now lives out his dreams, but in a very different way — by sending plants into space and educating others about the science behind it. With rap music and graphic design, nonetheless.

Rasmussen is a biology major who works on a NASA-funded research project studying the effects of spaceflight on plant biology.

Last February, he decided to launch a website in an effort to increase awareness and educate the public about the history and science of astrobotany — the study of plants in space.

The website expectedly provides explanations for scientific terms specific to astrobotany like gravitropism and spaceflight stress, but it also shines a spotlight on astrobotany-inspired pop culture and art.

Additionally, the website features interactive art designs centered around a thematic astrobotany resource page. Users can visit pages like “the shed” to learn about the tools of astrobotany research or “the garden” to track the progress of plant species sent into space.

Rasmussen has always appreciated how art can

spark interest in an issue, so he decided to make his own illustrations to accompany the scientific knowledge.

This message, however, is not always easy for scientists to share, Rasmussen said. As an emerging research botanist, he was disappointed by the lack of information available on astrobotany research.

He said integrating artwork into the website helps to make the information more accessible, which can be difficult for a lesser-known subject like astrobotany.

But Rasmussen has found an even more creative solution to craft a successful scientific narrative — rap music.

He released a rap song titled “Young Mark Watney” last October, making his debut at the 2016 American Society for Gravitational & Space Research Conference in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

Rasmussen wrote this rap in reference to Mark Watney, the fictional protagonist of the popular novel and film “The Martian.”

People often compare his research to the popular film, he said, which provides him an opportunity to open a dialogue about astrobotany.

Rasmussen said his interests in botany began after taking an introductory biology class taught

by Simon Gilroy, a UW botany professor. Gilroy

said he’s seen Rasmussen’s raps in action, engaging nonscientists.

“People who are not scientists kind of get into it,” Gilroy said. “But, the scientists that listen to [Rasmussen’s] rap just go, ‘Wow, this is kick-ass!

This is absolutely fantastic!’ so it bridges the gap.”

But Rasmussen did not originally intend on working in a botany laboratory before entering college. He was more interested in the space research of the Gilroy laboratory group.

Rasmussen has since worked with the Gilroy laboratory for over a year, in which he learned the historical role plants have played in shaping planetary land features.

“I actually went into his office hours and I said, ‘How do I become a astronaut?’ and Simon just kind of laughed,” Rasmussen said.

From the creation of an oxygen-rich atmosphere to the development of agriculture, Rasmussen learned that plants were an essential component in development of life on Earth and the advancement of civilization.

Leveraging his position as a molecular plant biologist, Rasmussen was able to design a project that integrated music into his astrobotany research.

Rasmussen plans to continue bridging the gap between science and the public through sharing his love of plants and space with others.

He is currently working on other scientific outreach projects, like participating in the New Arts Venture Challenge and acting as a science outreach ambassador for the American Society of Plant Biologists.

Both of these projects will allow Rasmussen to take key concepts from science and present them to audiences from a different perspective.

“The things that I learned from science, I want other people to learn from it too,” he said.

By creating a the website and a Wikipedia page for the topic, Rasmussen hopes to further develop the framework for how people view the science of astrobotany.

His work with graphic design and music production have helped engage a larger audience, but his ultimate goal is to break the dichotomy between scientist and artist.

For Rasmussen, botany is an intensive research process, but he also sees it as an artistic outlet.

In fact, he believes botany is the highest form of art.

“Plants help your well-being, like your mental health ... you can create whatever you want,” Rasmussen said. “It becomes a whole new level when you try to grow them in space because then it becomes poetic.”

Rasmussen was formerly a cartoonist for The Badger Herald.

May 2, 2017 • badgerherald.com • 7

NEWS

the semester that was

@badgerherald

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NEWS

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Trump’sanim immigration ban affects more who are essential to our goals of providing

than 100 students a world-class education,” Blank said.

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Riley Steinbrenner The Badger Herald

velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident, sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum.""Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident, sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum."

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Katie Cooney The Badger Herald

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UW scientist believes there’s no ‘time to waste’ to find cancer cure Melissa Scala studied disease, participated in Stand Up To Cancer summit before moving forward with research

by Kai Brito Reporter

For Melissa Scala, patience was never a virtue.

Scala, a cancer research investigator in the Morgridge Institute for Research, likes fast-paced learning and collaborative environments. She believes this is especially valuable in scientific research, where progress can move very slowly, she said.

But after attending the 2017 Stand Up To Cancer summit, she found it refreshing to quickly advance her hypothesis to laboratory testing in under 24 hours.

“The cool thing about this conference is they incentivize you actually doing the thing you talk about,” Scala said. “All you got to do is write 250 words. If it’s a good idea, [SU2C] will give you the money to do it. Rather than just dreaming away in your office, you actually get stuff done. It’s the way science should be.”

SU2C announced last Monday that Scala was one of four recipients of the Phillip A. Sharp Innovation in Collaboration Award this year. Scala shares the $250,000 award

with MIT biology professor Matthew Vander Heiden, with whom she collaborated on her research proposal exploring the interactions between pancreatic cancer cells and regular cells surrounding tumor tissue.

The Sharp Award encourages “innovation in collaboration” for the purpose of advancing cancer research, and therefore requires researchers to work together on a submission proposal to be eligible for the award. Scala, however, had only met Heiden once before partnering with him on this project.

“I actually didn’t know who he was the first time I met him,” Scala said. “He’s published the seminal papers in this area and I realized that after we got the grant I thought, ‘Oh man, I hit the jackpot with this guy.’”

Scala found it engaging, and even inspiring, to work with Heiden to brainstorm novel approaches and technologies to combat cancer.

More importantly, she was able to secure funding for the execution of a high-level research project through this competition, a step she doesn’t appreciate in the grantwriting process.

“You don’t have to do all the

administrative forms and budget and that stuff. It’s just soul-sucking,” Scala said.

“You get to do the science. It was actually very little pressure because it’s fun.”

Scala said that while she benefitted from receiving an award for her scientific vision, the important part of research is actually executing the idea. The real challenge is to prove the science in the lab, and she has no time to waste with a disease like pancreatic cancer.

Scala had a background in breast cancer research originally, but she began to change her research interests after a conversation with the surviving spouse of a cancer victim.

“I knew everybody died from pancreatic cancer, but I didn’t put two and two together that there’s a lack in advocacy in research because there’s just fewer people alive who have the disease who are banging their fists on the table saying ‘You need to study this, we need to make progress on this deadly disease,’” Scala said.

According to a 2013 United States Cancer Statistics (USCS) study, in the United States pancreatic cancer has a 5-year survival rate of 8.2 percent overall, which is significantly lower than higher-incidence cancers like breast, 89.7 percent, and colorectal, 64.9

percent.

As she continued to learn more about pancreatic cancer, Scala said the statistics convinced her that she needed to participate in this area of research.

“There’s such a great need for progress in pancreatic cancer because 90 percent of the people die who are diagnosed with this disease,” Scala said. “We’re actually making great progress in most cancers except for [pancreatic cancer]. It’s the next big need and I wanted to be a part of that.”

Scala echoed her earlier sentiments that scientific research moves slowly, but she believes her advancements in medical imaging and processing can eventually create a breakthrough in medicine.

Her recent award is already assisting in her mission to develop a technique to help patients now, so they can have a better quality of life with pancreatic cancer.

“It’s a huge win if you take something from the lab and actually affect standard care for cancer patients,” Scala said.

“If they’re going to go through therapy and they’re going to go through that psychological and physical stress, I want the drug to work. If we can get there, that’s huge.”

MarketReady program looks to help minorities in Madison Public Market System will actract businesses from across Wisconsin to region, help 30 enterprises with finances, vending space

by Lilly Martinez Reporter

In an effort to improve the city of Madison as it continues to grow in diversity and size, the city is preparing to launch the MarketReady program and draw businesses to the area.

The MarketReady program will provide training and micro-grants to entrepreneurs interested in becoming part of the Madison Public Market. It will cater to businesses in communities of color ho have been historically disadvantaged in starting businesses, MarketReady program coordinator Ian Aley said.

The Madison Public Market, which was approved in the city budget late last year after years of planning and debate, will be a yearround indoor facility, selling and promoting locally-produced items such as food, arts and crafts, Aley said.

Aley said the new MarketReady program only began its planning two months ago, but people have considered the idea for a long time. The project will be completed in 2019. The MarketReady program will mentor businesses during the two-year process to 10 • badgerherald.com • May 2, 2016

prepare for the actual market space so they can be as successful as possible.

“During the two-year period we will support new entrepreneurs to put their business plan together and cover everything such as finance and permits, so that they are ready to open when the market is ready to open,” Aley said.

The MarketReady program is currently accepting applications until July 1, Aley said.

The MarketReady program will help a total of 30 businesses. Fifteen of them will each receive $3,500 to help pay for initial business costs.

Five of those businesses will receive $13,000 to set up their market space in the Madison Public Market, Aley said.

Aley said MarketReady will mentor these businesses by providing technical support and guidance. The program seeks to help people in disadvantaged communities so that once people know what they want to do, they can design a method to help fit their needs.

“We are hoping that this can be an ongoing conversation and support, and even if we cannot [directly] help you with the program such as businesses that have been running for 10 years that need support we can, and will, guide them to the right organizations that can help them,” Aley said.

The program has received 17 applications to be in the program and 90 applications to be a vendor in the market, Aley said.

The program will take as many applications as they can and will be a connection with some existing organizations which help support the beginning stages of starting businesses, such as the Latino Chamber of Commerce of Dane County.

Aley said the ultimate goal of the program is to help improve quality of life for people in disadvantaged communities and help people create a business they can be proud of while strengthening the diverse communities.

Aley hopes the public market will become an area that expands into a range of businesses which draws in people from around the Midwest to do business in the Madison area.

Moving forward, Aley said they want the applicants to bring in their ideas, passion and openness to working on their business plan.

The MarketReady team will do their best to help them succeed in their plan, he added.

“Madison has some work to do in terms of healing the divide between different communities, and this will be a place where people can come and share the product they are proud of that respresents their culture,” Aley said.

Photo · The MarketReady program will connect businesses with existing organizations to help grow their ideas.

Emily Sachs The Badger Herald

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Student journals come together to provide peers with ‘well-rounded read’ WUJA creates way for publications to exchange ideas, pieces, contacts, while simplifying information accessibility

by Emilie Burditt Reporter

Bringing a variety of different ideas and research together, seven University of Wisconsin undergraduate journals have joined forces to create the Wisconsin Undergraduate Journal Association.

WUJA was founded this year and while it’s not officially recognized as a student organization, it plans to become one next

semester.

Sifting and Winnowing, the Journal of Undergraduate Studies, the Wisconsin Engineer and UW’s undergraduate history journal ARCHIVE are a few of the seven journals that make up WUJA. The Journal of Undergraduate Science and Technology is the newest journal included in WUJA. One of ARCHIVE’s editors, Hilary Miller, teamed up with Maren Harris, the editorin-chief of the same journal, to spearhead

WUJA. Both Miller and Harris are UW students.

“Essentially, by coming together we wanted to create an association of authors, editors, staff and faculty who have contributed to each journal to exchange ideas, pieces and contacts,” Miller said.

Miller said their goal was to combine the work of authors across the seven journals into one cohesive publication. While each journal will still have their own website and work independently, WUJA creates an easy portal for viewers seeking a “well-rounded read.”

The organization is working online to develop a PDF that would highlight clips from each journalist’s work, Miller said.

This PDF would be titled “WUJA’s Best of Publication.”

Miller said she is focused on collecting the best of the writer ’s work and encouraging writers to do well. She said she is looking for progression in the club.

Part of progressing the club, Miller said, includes WUJA’s new website. The website’s links lead to the individual journals and a

section called the “Best of UW.” This will highlight the best of each publication, Miller said.

As a co-founder, Miller said she is actively involved in leading meetings, events and working on public relations for WUJA. She said she has full faith in its potential and plans to work with WUJA until she graduates.

While this is the beginning of WUJA, it is the end for some of the editors. Miller said there is a need for prospective editors to continue what she predicts will be a successful club.

Miller said one of her main priorities is creating awareness about the club. She said she wants to inform as much of the student body as possible since this is a new organization.

“I am excited to see where things go from here and deeply believe in WUJA’s greater mission to provide an interdisciplinary outlet for UW students to learn and publish alongside one another, regardless of their major or field of study,” Miller said.

May 2, 2017 • badgerherald.com • 11

ARTSETC.

@BH_Arts

Stick around town for these Madison summer arts events

Students, community members, tourists can look forward to music, food, fun that comes with warmer weather

by Lexie Graf

ArtsEtc. Writer

The summer season is always jampacked with fun events, especially those including food, music and art. What better place to enjoy these things than in Madison? Along with warm weather and the absence of school work, look forward to some of these fun arts events here in Madtown.

Isthmus Food Cart Fest

Are you tired of getting “whatever works for you” or “I don’t care” as answers for when you ask someone where they want to eat? Have no fear, Isthmus Food Cart Fest is here! It takes place Sunday, May 21, from 2 to 6 p.m. at Central Park.

There’s going to be food (lots of it), musical entertainment and, of course, craft beer.

General admission is $30 and it includes entry and sampling from more than 30 local food carts. You can expect to see the beloved Banzo cart, fare from Cali Fresh, scrumptious Saigon Sandwiches and many more. This event will cater to everyone’s cravings, even if they claim “I’m good with

anything.” Get ready for a little taste of it all.

Art Fair on the Square

Out of all the wonderful events that take place around the Capitol, this one has got to be the most artsy! It’s the 59th Annual Art Fair on the Square. Head to the State Capitol square Saturday, July 8 through Sunday, July 9 to see work from nearly 500 artists. Works include paintings, photography, prints, pottery, handmade clothing and jewelry. You can also expect live music and entertainment, as well as many outdoor dining options. Come see the art and culture this one-of-a-kind event has to offer.

Hidden History: a Madison’s Weird Side

Walk

on

Looking for something a little offbeat to do this summer? Aug. 8 and Sept.12, the Wisconsin Historical Museum offers the tour “Hidden History: a Walk on Madison’s Weird Side.” The tour spans from the Capitol square to Monona

Terrace and back again, roughly 1.4 miles.

Along the way, you will learn about oddities from Madison including “creepy creatures,” bizarre locals and infamous murder trials. These stories will give you an inside look into how weird this wonderful city is (as if you didn’t already know that).

BOSTON — Hyper Space Tour

Attention “oldies, but goodies” musiclovers: Boston is coming to Madison Friday, May 26 with their Hyper Space Tour. Get ready to jam to some classic rock at Breese Stevens Field. Opening for these rock legends is special guest SIMO. We have “More Than a Feeling” that you will be “Feeling Satisfied” after attending this fun event. Young, old or somewhere in-between, all ages are welcome to rock.

Gates open at 5 p.m. and the show starts at 6:30 p.m.

Open Mic Nights at the Terrace

Ready to put the spotlight on those musical skills of yours? Or maybe you just

like laid-back entertainment? Either way, The Terrace After Dark is offering open mic nights every Wednesday, this summer.

It’s part of the Terrace After Dark Music + Film series, beginning May 12 with a limited music lineup. The series will be in full swing in June. Come see local Madison musicians on stage, or try out a song or two yourself— yes, “Wonderwall” is allowed. The pressure is low, but there’s no lack of fun! This summer, grab some friends and a couple of pitchers to fully enjoy Wednesdays at the Terrace.

Mad City Vegan Fest

Unless you’re a carnivore — in which case, get your cholesterol checked — Mad City Vegan Fest has delicious vegan food options for everyone. On Saturday, June 17 from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m., you can enjoy a variety of fully vegan dishes, moving speakers and vegan-centered exhibitors.

Did we mention free samples? This event is taking place at the Alliant Energy Center ’s Exhibition Hall. Come with an empty stomach and an open mind.

MMoCA’s Gallery Night offers inclusivity, community involvment Different venues around city play host to art displays, form unique bond between businesses, artists, patrons

by Kristin Washagan ArtsEtc. Editor

The Madison Museum of Contemporary Art’s biannual Gallery Night is returning to Madison venues May 5 for the largest scale rendition in the history of the event.

This year ’s Spring Gallery Night will feature prominent and emerging artists in over 80 local venues, ranging from smaller local galleries to coffee shops, to even real estate offices. The event turns each of these ordinary locations into gallery venues — creating a sense of inclusion between the community and the museum.

Unlike other events held by the museum, community members are at the forefront of its planning and execution, allowing local businesses and artists to choose the types of art and themes they want represented.

The museum itself only displays a few previously debuted exhibitions the night of the event, and one preview of a new exhibit, as a means to encourage Madison art lovers to venture further and explore what the rest of the city has to offer, museum spokesperson Erika Monroe-Kane 12 • badgerherald.com • May 2, 2017

said.

Because of this sense of inclusion, Gallery Night creates a more welcoming, casual environment for community members to engage in and consume art, making it less of an uptight, stuffy experience, Monroe-Kane said.

While MMoCA is the oldest cultural organization in the area, the museum has always been diligent in catering to the community of the moment since it began 116 years ago, Monroe-Kane said.

“That orientation toward the community has been a part of the museum its entire history,” Monroe-Kane said.

“So even though it seems strange being a contemporary art museum that is so old, there’s always current themes, current affairs, current topics and artists creating, and that’s what the museum’s focus is in particular.”

Because the event is not contained in just MMoCA’s building, the contrast between East and West Madison are expressed more fully, speaking to

Madison’s “vibrant community.” Willie Street, campus buildings and Monroe Street, amongst others, each have distinct artistic styles and cultures.

“Reflecting the work of contemporary artists and the way that they are exploring the world of issues around them is what we do,” Monroe-Kane said. “Connecting people to artists and art making happens in the museum and in the community.”

While the event is not inherently political, those involved expressed that the event shows the issues and beliefs Madison community members are most concerned with. People are looking for things to be involved with in the community, and art is way to do that — it responds to what is happening in the world, Gallery Night organizer Kaitlin Kropp said.

Gallery Night not only reflects and contributes to Madison’s culture, but leads to a thriving dynamic city economy, Monroe-Kane said. Gallery Night provides accessibility and a marketplace for artists that otherwise wouldn’t be filled,

according to Monroe-Kane.

Along with artwork, certain venues also offer live music, food and beverages.

Some venues, including Tandom Press and others, even display demonstrations on how their artwork is created, or opportunities for attendees to make artwork themselves. Kropp appreciates that you can be the artist at some of these places.

Gallery Night has persisted as a beloved Madison tradition for 29 years, and continues to grow in size each year. This year ’s Spring Gallery Night contains 83 venues, the largest number in the event’s history.

“Gallery Night has grown so much over the past almost 30 years that people just really want to get involved, and it’s an exciting time to be out and about,” Kropp said.

Spring Gallery Night runs from 5-9 p.m.

May 5, so attendees can pick up a free map at participating locations if they wish to plan their time efficiently.

ARTSETC.

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Examining meaning of sex-positivty through culture, context

by Meredith Head Hump Day Columnist

After three years of writing Hump Day, I have finally come to my final piece. I would like to take this moment to thank each and every reader that has ever laid eyes on my writing — yes, including those that found it vulgar or offensive.

Writing Hump Day means a great deal to me, and it is with a heavy heart that I pass the torch on to the next columnist as I graduate. Over the years, my column has grown from roots based in sex-positivity. Although sex-positivity does not define my beliefs, it does inform them. My stance on most facets of sexuality — including kink, non-monogamy, experimentation and pleasure — stems from sex-positivity.

At its core, sex-positivity promotes and embraces sexual activity and expression preceded by consent and accompanied by necessary protection (barrier methods, birth control, etc.).

Sex-positivity supports comprehensive sex education and safer sex as tools of the movement to allow individuals to be knowledgeable and empowered in decisions regarding sexuality.

These values combat an overwhelmingly sexnegative society that wishes to subjugate and control sexuality, particularly that of women

as well as queer and trans folks. Sex-positivity also endorses consent culture: encouraging and normalizing explicit consent between partners for all activities and respecting lack of consent.

Importantly, sex-positivity only concerns sex.

Without consent, sex is rape, and thus falls completely outside the boundaries of sex-positivity.

Sex-positivity is not about having sex; abstinent and asexual folks are included in sex-positivity’s perspective that people should only engage in sexual activity that they agree with and actively desire.

Choice is essential to sex-positivity. And although the sex-positive movement has been touted mainly by women, its philosophies also apply to men, who are frequently told that being a “real man” entails constantly wanting sex. Sexpositivity recognizes that this is a function of harmful hypermasculinity and challenges its basis in patriarchy. Above all else, sex-positivity attempts to eradicate unnecessary and damaging judgement of sexual activity while providing information and acceptance to anyone who wants it.

Despite my overwhelming alignment with the notion of sex-positivity, its philosophy leaves

much to be desired when taken at face value. Just like everything else, sex-positivity is nuanced, and becomes problematic when applied broadly or without critique.

Too often, self-identified sex-positive people make the sweeping generalization that all sex is good sex as long as consent is present. But consensual acts can be troublesome as well.

Maybe the sex is consensual, but it’s objectifying and leaves an individual feeling lonelier than ever. Maybe the sex is consensual, but someone experiences body dysmorphia and sexual activity makes it worse.

Just because something is empowering to one person does not mean it empowers everyone. Sexpositivity is hardly ever culturally competent, so it is important for sex-positive white folks to check their privilege and realize that their sexuality is allowed to exist in ways that black, Latina or Asian people are not afforded.

In addition, we do not make sexual choices in a vacuum. Sex-positivity supports autonomous choices, but it is entirely impossible to remove ourselves from all the invasive, cisnormative and heteronormative ideals that we’ve been marinating

in our entire lives. Preferences are fine, but they are influenced by the culture we grow up in.

For example, if someone enjoys facials (ejaculating on a partner’s face, stereotypically a woman), that’s just fine with explicit consent.

However, facials must be understood in the context of a patriarchal society that sexually degrades women.

Subscribers of mainstream sex-positivity do not always understand the movement with sufficient context, and that includes existing within a white supremacy. Sex-positivity as defined by white people often does not translate to people of color, especially given the pervasive sexualization of non-white people in the media and pornography.

Sex-positivity does not exist in the same form among all people who subscribe to it. Those who proclaim themselves to be sex-positive must make an effort to examine their ideals and ensure that it takes context and culture into account. We are always unlearning oppression and learning love.

Do you want to take over Hump Day? Contact Meredith at mhead@wisc.edu or ArtsEtc. at heraldarts@gmail.com.

James Adomian talks politics, style before upcoming Madison shows Comedian returns this month for more of his well-known commentary, impersonations, all with fresh twist

by Dan Chinitz Banter Editor

Riding the weight of his nationally recognized political impressions, the Bernie Sanders impressionist James Adomian, from the outrageous “Trump vs. Bernie” mock debates will be coming back to Madison for a handful of solo performances.

Since Adomian’s last Madison appearance with co-star Anthony Atamanuik playing Donald Trump, his comedy career has taken off.

A four-part “Trump vs. Bernie” special was featured on Fusion TV and received a 40-minute special on Comedy Central’s @ Midnight.

Adomian has also been a voice actor on “Bojack Horseman,” has had a movie debut at Tribeca Film Festival, has appeared as numerous small roles on shows like The Eric Andre Show and has spent time writing his own prospective TV shows, among many other projects.

Adomian’s unique live performances always contain a healthy amount of impressions. Adomian prefers to imitate real

people that the average news consumer would recognize, while also leaning away from typical impressions such as Robert DeNiro.

“I do impressions of people interesting to me,” Adomian said. “Sometimes they can veer into the obscure — weird people I hear about where I’m like, ‘someone should be making fun of that guy,’ and I go ‘that person is me.’”

Adomian is also famous for his impressions of public figures such as Chris Matthews, Jesse Ventura, Gary Busey, Lewis Black and many more.

Frequently developing new impressions, Adomian said he often tries out his latest material at his comedy shows, much like his scheduled performances in Madison.

He said he has recently been working on a handful of different political impressions, such as Attorney General Jeff Sessions, Deputy Assistant to President Trump Sebastian Gorka and Info Wars host Alex Jones.

Adomian said his most popular impression lately is Sebastian Gorka. He said he plays

[Gorka] as a “deranged James Bond villain,” which Adomian said is because of Gorka’s close position to the president and as a member of a “shadowy Hungarian rightwinged organization.”

“What I started reading about him in the news was that he was like a hilarious James Bond-like personality. Then I heard his voice and I saw his interviews and I was like, ‘yes, this guy is a bond villain,’” he said.

Adomian said his impression of Gorka is based on “Moonraker” villain Hugo Drex.

Doing five shows between May 4-6, evidence points to Adomian performing some of his much developed new material in Madison.

While his comedy is largely political, Adomian’s mission isn’t to divide his audience.

“I do not really do an act that is meant for people to applaud or boo,” Adomian said. “I don’t really care if people agree with me or not, obviously the fun part of doing comedy is

to make people laugh, so thats really what I do.

If people don’t laugh then they’re bad people.”

Not afraid to speak his mind, Adomian is determined to show the absurdity in everything. He uses his comedy as his own unique form of a political platform, but comedy reigns supreme.

“There’s always been a political strain to my comedy. There’ve always been things that I’ve felt like saying, but at the same time I’ve always loved being very silly,” Adomian said.

Adomian said he’s excited to take his perpetually-developing show to Madison, and will also be appearing on a few more projects, such as with former mock debate counter part Anthony Atamanuik on “The President Show.”

Adomian said it’s possible he will be returning as Bernie Sanders or perhaps unveiling a few of his latest characters.

Until then, the up-and-coming impressionist will be frequenting live shows and continues to appear on always-hilarious podcasts like Comedy Bang-Bang and Chapo Trap House.

ARTSETC.

@BH_Arts

‘My heart, mere dil’ offers heartfelt, unique perpective on mulitple identities Poetic metaphor of two lovers, homelands shows American, Pakistani perspective from child of immigrants

by Yusra Murad Opinion Editor

Welcome to StoriesEtc, a place where University of Wisconsin students can share their original works of creative writing with the community, whether it be poetry, short stories or anything in between. With that being said, let’s meet this week’s contributor, Yusra Murad: The Badger Herald: Tell us about yourself.

I am a junior majoring in psychology with certificates in business, entrepreneurship and global health. I love singing, painting and frisbee. I am really bad at singing, painting and frisbee.

BH: Define your writing, authorship and perspective.

My writing, intricately wound to my ongoing relationship with identity and family, has served as an emotional outlet from a young age.

Growing up as a Pakistani-American Muslim in a predominantly white city, and moving to an even whiter college, means maintaining delicate balance on a razor-thin tightrope. Simultaneously, it is my sweetest blessing. I write to tell my truths, for you, and for me.

BH: When did you start writing creatively?

I latched onto creative writing in elementary and middle school, as it allowed me to lose myself in a world I could build on my own when it felt like I had no control over this one. Spoken word and poetry came naturally to me as I embraced my brownness and womanhood in high school.

BH: Talk about your creative process. What inspires you, and how do you get from an idea to a finished product?

I am inspired by the women before me, none of whom had the privilege of focusing on their creativity the way I do. Nothing I create will be a finished product until I am — and I’ve got a ways to go. The majority of my writing focuses on the intersection and direct clash of my identities and the smallest artifacts which come along with that, so sometimes I’m inspired by a Muslim ban, and other times by my own eyebrows.

“My heart, mere dil” Water rushes into my lungs, I scream with my heartstrings, from the bottom of my stomach, The noise piercing the silence of abandon, Thrashing in stillness, I feel everything, I hear nothing.

My lungs, compress, folding, twisting, curling into one another, immersed in dance, My breath, caught deep in my throat, pounding on the inside of my body, begging, pleading for release.

14 • badgerherald.com • May 2, 2017

Fingers turn white, coarse blue, vicious red, thick violet — my mother’s favorite dress.

Thin white rope, wound across the delicate skin of my wrist, gently trailing off to whisper with the deepest secrets of the ocean, secrets I have never been told, suspended without reason, Perhaps someone will hold it, pull me to the surface, please god, can anyone hear me?

My eyes burn, my eyes close, I feel nothing, I hear song.

My arm nearly jolts out of its socket.

The coolness of concrete presses against my cheek.

Every inch of my body burning, coughing, I spill water tainted with red, vomiting blood, heaving, shaking on the pavement, thank you, god, thank you for my life, On hands and knees I say a prayer.

My eyes are drawn to shaking hands.

White rope, glinting in the sunlight, wound around my wrist, like thread on a spool, (like a spool from my grandmothers sewing kit, like her “sewing kit” is three spools and a dusty pair of scissors tucked away in an old tin that once held chocolates, like chocolates her husband used to pick out especially for her from the gloomy London airport, the ones he knew she loved, she never threw that tin away) seared into my skin, and as I run to catch my sputtering breath, my eyes follow its trail.

It ends at the feet of the man who saved me.

His smile is smooth, falling satin, his eyes are black tar.

I remember him. The man I love.

The bruises coloring my neck, painted across my face, my chest, my stomach, a discarded canvas, forgotten by the artist, remind me of his anger yesterday.

When he tells me, you look beautiful Darling, I wonder, did you know I was drowning?

I want to scream, you know I was — am —

drowning.

The words shake in my mouth. His hand outstretched, I grasp onto this love, our fingers intertwined, he lightly lays me on my back, Our lips nearly touch, his breath like ice.

I love you. You are my home. The only home I have ever known.

Across the sea, hot sand presses against my cheek, sticking to my wet hands and feet as I rise.

My skin absorbs music from the dhol, the bruises on my arms dripping away as the juice from a mango slides down my wrist.

My arms pinned against the ground, powerless as he spits in my face, rubbing the brown from my skin with sandpaper, tearing the jewelry from my neck, slashing the remnants of my father’s accent from my throat, “terrorist,” his knife etching the word in my collarbone, one letter at a time.

My lips would have tasted of saltwater right before he kissed me, if he had kissed me.

If he had seen me.

I protest, my love for you is my home, America, I abandoned the sweet taste of my mother tongue so I could speak to you, America.

(I recall pressing my gaze, from the backseat of Mama’s van, against mountains gently holding the clouds, intimacy, an embrace I envy, wondering how, after sixty miles per hour for hour after hour, they still appear so distant?)

Wounds soaked in the bitter salt of tears.

I will be alone without you, I cry out.

But perhaps I would rather be alone, naked, cold, deserted, afraid, alone, than tangled in your arms.

A net soaked in my sweat and the blood extracted from black, brown, indigenous bodies, clipping the corners of my skin.

You are so kind to your lovers.

You will never hold my brown skin.

I dig my fingernails into his coarse arms, relishing the sound of his pain.

He appears unbreakable, steel, iron, unbendable, forever, He is delicate china, teetering on the edge of my nani’s chest of drawers, shattering into one million pieces, land of the free, home not for me.

Submerged, release.

I am mindlessly, hopelessly lost in a love which grips me at moments when I am thoroughly unprepared to face such longing.

I run to him, my heart outpacing my feet, closer to me in this moment than ever before, my breath escapes me, I beg it to return, legs burning, you cannot slow you will not slow,

eternally within my reach, never in my grasp.

He does not need me, I come to realize, and my pace slows.

I am deeply in love but abandoned his tongue, we speak with our eyes, our eyes see different worlds, he is the thin skin of my wrist and my Milky Way, I am a stranger, American.

Because Pakistan does not belong to me, and though I need you, Pakistan, wrapped around my shoulders, locked between your jasmine arms, light chiffon trailing down my back, Thin gold chain resting on my collarbone, you do not need me.

But who has ever escaped the prison of unrequited love?

Submerged, suspended.

What’s on Tap:

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ARTSETC.

MADISON CRAFT BEER WEEK OFFERS DEALS, DEBUTS AT OUR FAVORITE WATERING HOLES

Event students’ last chance for bar crawling before finals, opportunity for Madisonians to start off summer right

by Ali O’Rourke What’s on Tap Columnist

Madison Craft Beer Week is an all-encompassing week of deals, events and craft beer unveilings at Madison bars and restaurants. Events include craft beers being featured in “tap takeovers” at Madison watering holes, raffles, craft beer happy hours, kill the keg events and beer tastings for new craft debuts.

These festivities span from April 28 through May 7, and extend as far as Fitchburg, Waunakee and Sun Prairie. We have highlighted some of the closer events below that won’t require a designated driver and still give you the best of Craft Beer Week.

Tavernakaya and Umami

These mainstay restaurants are always reliable to satisfy a hankering for ramen or sushi, but this week they will be featuring the largest selection of Japanese craft beer in Wisconsin, including Hitachino, Nest, Echigo, Orion and Coedo, which will be making its debut this week. Both feature a

dinner night with a preset menu and beer pairings.

Umami’s dinner is three courses of beer-inspired menu favorites like their ramen and steamed buns, and are paired with beer from the Coedo Brewery.

The dinner is May 2 and costs $30. Reservations are encouraged.

Tavernakaya’s dinner features sushi and Asian street food paired with several Japanese craft beers.

The dinner is $40 on May 3 and reservations are encouraged.

Edgewater

The Edgewater will be holding a pub crawl confined to their property by fitting eight different pours of beer into four rooms. The beers will be from One Barrel Brewing Company and Wisconsin Brewing Company, and the crawl will end in the Red Crown Club of the Hotel. Firkin beer will be exclusively available and paired with appetizers created by their executive chef. The event is $30 and starts at 6:30 p.m. on May 4.

Great Dane

The Great Dane Pub & Brewing Company downtown will be hosting a Beer and Wing Ding, which includes unlimited wings and two free pints from breweries like Capital Brewery, Karben4, Ale Asylum and more. There will be wing sauces made from participating breweries’ beer and a hot wing contest will be happening for entertainment or participation. The deal is $25 on May 3 from 5 p.m. to 7:30 p.m.

Atwood Avenue Pub Crawl

If the options are too overwhelming, join in the pub crawl taking place on Atwood Avenue, right off of Williamson Street. There will be stops at all the participating Atwood Avenue bars. If you buy a beer at three stops and get the punches on your punch card to prove it, participants can get a free limited edition glass. Participants are also invited to try the One Barrel Brewing Company and Next Door Brewing Company’s collaboration beer,

created in honor of Atwood Avenue. The crawl is May 6 from 11 a.m. to 9 p.m.

All week One Barrel Brewing: $20 cases of copper stag amber — unlimited until supply runs out The Old-Fashioned: Special craft releases and $4 featured taps Roman Candle Pizza, Williamson St.: Every pint bought during the week enters you to win pizza for a year DLUX: Pair one of four Deschutes IPA, on tap only this week, with a burger for $13 or a salad for $11 Plus more — check out www.madbeerweek.com for the full list of events and deals.

Ultimate summer playlist: Sit back, relax with these feel good tunes Music welcome addition to any situation, especially outdoors with warm weather, blue skies, no school work Support for Women & Babies

Support for Women & Babies

Helpline

Pregnancy

by Celeste Benzschawel

Summer is almost here, my friends. We just have to get through this year ’s second round of finals and then we are home free. Soon enough, the weather will be warm, beers will be drank, waters will be swam in and shenanigans will occur. What better way to do all of this, and more, than with good music? You’re right, there isn’t a better way.

This playlist features a handful of feel good jams perfect for any summer activity. It also features multiple genres, with songs both new and old. This collection was created by yours truly, with additions from UW students Jack Lutz and Daniel Hawley (I can’t take all of the credit for this awesomeness). So, sit back, crack open a brew and enjoy these tunes.

ArtsEtc. Editor

“Halloween in Hollywood”- Petite League

Se Habla Español.

608-222-0008 pregnancyhelpline.net

˜ Se Habla Espanol.

608-222-0008 pregnancyhelpline.net

“Late July-Audiotree Live Version” - Shakey Graves

“Suicide Saturday” - Hippo Campus “Golden Days” - Whitney “Who Loves The Sun - 2015 Remastered” - The Velvet Underground “Swing Tree” - Discovery “Daydream” - Youth Lagoon “Entertainment” - Phoenix “The Less I Know The Better” - Tame Impala “It’s Real” - Real Estate Check out the rest of the playlist at badgerherald.com.

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H-1B visas for international faculty allows for competitive UW hiring, but federal immigration review stirs concerns After Trump’s election, university does not yet see decrease in international researcher applications, but recent executive order makes some recruiters, staff nervous

by Teymour Tomsyck Features Editor

U.K. native Catherine Jackson is a researcher studying the history of modern science at the University of Wisconsin, thanks to an H-1B visa — a permit granted to “high-skill” workers looking to come to the U.S. That visa is under scrutiny, and could face serious downsizing, thanks to efforts from President Donald Trump’s administration.

Trump signed an executive order titled “Buy American, Hire American” directing the federal government to review the current system for issuing H-1B visas in Kenosha earlier this month.

Trump said the order would help ensure more Americans are employed in high-skilled jobs and also directs federal agencies to favor American companies for future contracts.

But while neither Trump nor the text of the executive order specifically mentioned research institutions, the move has not gone unnoticed by faculty or staff at University of Wisconsin, which hires hundreds of H-1B visa holders.

When universities select an international candidate for a research position, they are allowed temporary residence in the U.S. through the visas. The H-1B visa is part of wider group of nonimmigrant visas issued by United States Citizenship and Immigration Services for workers and academics.

An international market place

Photo · Dean Eric Wilcots said international faculty are important for creating a well rounded campus.

Top: Dan Chinitz Bottom: Sarah Godfrey The Badger Herald

Like other top-tier research institutions, the University of Wisconsin looks around the globe when hiring new faculty.

Eric Wilcots, an associate dean in the College of Letters and Science, plays an active role in selecting international faculty and staff and said he looks at both the academic and extracurricular resumes of prospective researchers.

“We’re trying to figure out who are the best people we can attract to be on our faculty,” Wilcots said. “Best is defined by the kind of science they’re doing, how they interact with students, what kind of citizens they will be, these are all factors.”

Of the 386 H-1B holders employed by the UW System, 206 are located in Madison, UW spokesperson Meredith Mcglone said. China and India are the countries with the highest number of H-1B visa holders at UW. Applicants seeking an H-1B must have at least a bachelor ’s degree and be applying for a field that requires special skills, Madison immigration lawyer Shabnam Lofti said.

Once granted, an H-1B lasts for three years with the option for renewal for a second three-

year term, Lofti said. The visas only apply to staff and faculty researchers and not graduate students, who must apply for the standard student visa.

Despite going through a different visa system, Wilcots said he wouldn’t be surprised if Trump’s immigration reforms hampered UW’s graduate student recruitment efforts.

Petitioning an H-1B is generally an arduous process for most foreign workers seeking to work in the U.S., Lofti said. This is because the program limits the total number of visa recipients to 85,000 despite receiving nearly 200,000 applications.

But this isn’t a problem for UW-bound researchers because of the special cap-exempt status afforded to academic institutions, Lofti said.

“I had a colleague who was thinking about a retention offer four years ago and I asked him ‘What can we do to keep you here?’ and he said, ‘You can reelect Obama.’”

Faculty reactions

Wilcots said he has heard some worries among current faculty in the wake of Trump’s election victory and his targeting of the H-1B visa program. Still, he doesn’t think anyone would choose to forego renewal of their visa based on what the administration has done so far.

It’s difficult to accurately gauge how international faculty are reacting to the signing of “Buy American, Hire American” given the confidentiality of immigration status for UW employees.

The ability to bypass the H-1B cap is important to UW and other U.S. universities that compete with research institutions around the globe to attract top faculty.

But even if such cuts do not occur, Wilcots said he still anticipates a reduction in research applications, especially from specific parts of the globe, including countries targeted by Trump’s previous immigration bans.

Wilcots said he had expected to see a reduction in applications from international researchers immediately following Trump’s election, but so far he hasn’t seen any evidence to suggest this. But in previous years, politics has played a role in retention.

“I had a colleague who was thinking about a retention offer four years ago and I asked him ‘What can we do to keep you here?’ and he said, ‘You can re-elect Obama,’” Wilcots said.

Jennifer Taylor, director of UW’s Office of International Faculty and Staff Services, said in an email to The Badger Herald that science and engineering departments would be disproportionately affected by any caps in academic H-1Bs, though she does not believe such cuts will occur.

Given the broad scope of Trump’s executive order, there are a number of ways in which the H-1B visa process may be altered, such as its dual intent status. Dual intent allows H-1B-holders to declare their intent to either return to their country of origin or seek permanent residency once their visa expires, Taylor said.

Under the current rules, UW regularly files permanent residency applications on behalf of its international faculty, Taylor said. Aside from UW’s assistance, there is no standardized process for attaining citizenship status at the conclusion of a visa, Lofti said. Even with UW’s sponsorship, a path to citizenship is not necessarily assured.

Jackson said she has personally taken note of Trump’s actions and its possible implications for foreign academics.

“Do I look at what Trump and the present administration are doing and think there are very significant changes which might change the situation? Yes,” Jackson said.

Eric Wilcots Associate Dean

Being able to recruit faculty relatively effortlessly doesn’t just benefit UW’s standing from a research perspective but also an educational one. The diversity H-1B faculty bring make UW a more attractive space for both researchers and students, Wilcots said.

“Being able to have interactions in [undergraduate] education with scholars and TA’s who span the world is a great component of their education, even if they’re studying math,” Wilcots said. “I would hate to go to campus where all the faculty look the same.”

Photo · Engineering and science departments would be disproportionately affected by reduction in researcher H-1Bs. Jason Chan The Badger Herald

OPINION

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2017 Spring Headliners The Badger Herald Editorial Board presents the following awards to notable people and occurences of the past semester.

The Better on paper award: Gov. Scott Walker Katie Cooney The Badger Herald

When you ask current and past students why they chose to attend the University of Wisconsin, you’d more than likely get a variety of answers.

Some would certainly mention the party scene, athletics or even campus aesthetics. But it’s almost a guarantee every student who chose to attend UW did so because they knew its reputation for academic excellence. The vast majority of the students, faculty and staff here are well aware of our academic reputation and we all work hard to maintain it. Unfortunately, we have

a governor who’s making that a pretty hard thing to do.

Our excellence comes from more than 150 years of the state and UW working together to educate and enrich students from around the state, country and world. We know for UW to thrive and produce world-class research, future leaders and productive members of society, this university and its sister schools need money.

Gov. Scott Walker’s latest budget called for $135 million more in funding, which seemed lovely at face value. But the governor’s proposal didn’t come without some foolish caveats. This included allowing for students to opt out of important segregated fees as well as a tuition cut for in-state students. Again, while the tuition cut

might seem like a really great idea at face value, we know it isn’t.

Since 2012, hundreds of millions in state funding have been cut from the UW System.

Even with the $135 million suggested in Walker’s new budget, the UW System would still remain significantly underfunded. Adding a tuition cut essentially ensures its academic status will continue to drop as more faculty leave and staff leave for greener pastures.

If Wisconsinites value education, in 2018 they will pick a candidate who cares about our worldclass universities.

For his convenient but still ultimately lackluster “support” for the UW System, we award Walker the Better on Paper Award.

The Quid Pro Woah Award: Lowell Holtz and John Humphries This year ’s state superintendent race reminded us you don’t need to look further than Wisconsin for a truly WTF election – alleged quid pro quo, teeth whitening and “massive power grabs,” this one had it all.

The only statewide election on the spring ballot, this year ’s ostensibly nonpartisan superintendent race pitted Democrat-backed two-term incumbent Tony Evers against political newcomer, newfound conservative and actual goofy goober Lowell Holtz.

But before Holtz was crowned the Republican pick to take on Evers head-to-head, his fellow conservative challenger John Humphries kicked off the cycle’s scandalous shenanigans when reports surfaced he had accepted a $300 in-kind campaign donation in the form of teeth whitening. This prompted the Democratic Party to file the race’s inaugural ethics complaint.

Not one to let Humphries have all the morally

ambiguous fun, Holtz joined the fray as he and Humphries were implicated in an apparent backroom deal in which one would drop out of the race in exchange for a six-figure taxpayer-funded job at the Department of Public Instruction. What’s more, the position in question was to be created with the authority to conglomerate and break up local school districts; the exchange explicitly listed taking over at least four of Wisconsin’s more urban school districts. Not to worry though, the pair assured the public the plan was neither of their ideas, rather it was the brainchild of businessmen they refused to name.

Cue another ethics complaint, this time from liberal group One Wisconsin Now. The dynamic duo of Humphries and Holtz followed up the bribery allegations with a truly fantastic encore – releasing dueling documents trying to pin blame on the other. At this point, Evers took a break from watching

his opponents implode long enough to call the proposed position’s powers to combine and dismantle local districts “a massive power grab.”

But wait, there’s more!

The ethical trouble didn’t stop for Holtz as, five days before the election, Whitnall School Board sent a letter to parents informing them Holtz may have misused district resources to launch his political career while he was Whitnall School District superintendent.

Let’s just go ahead and count that little number as another ethics complaint.

For all its hype and intrigue, the race ended anticlimactically with Evers coasting to a third term with 70 percent of the vote … but it sure was fun while it lasted.

For showing the state just how ethically questionable people will get to be in charge of children’s education, we award Humphries and Holtz the Quid Pro Woah Award.

May 2, 2017 • badgerherald.com • 18

OPINION

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The Punting-it Oppression Olympics award: ASM divestment debate Award: Chancellor Rebecca Blank Nothing says “welcome back to school after your spring break on a beach somewhere” quite like a heated six-hour-long student government meeting.

A resolution drafted by Associated Students of Madison in collaboration with Students for Justice in Palestine requesting the University of Wisconsin divest from companies allegedly complicit in human rights violations, sparked heated debate both within ASM and across campus as a result of it’s inclusion of Israeli companies.

The resolution proposed centered on private prisons, arms manufacturers, the Dakota Access Pipeline and Israeli settlements in Palestine.

On March 29, after the original resolution was introduced, both supporters and critics of the resolution engaged in a six-hour-long open forum that began as an intellectual debate on divestment and quickly disintegrated into UW’s first annual Oppression Olympics Games. Many Jewish students spoke to perceived similarities of the

resolution to the Boycott, Divestment, Sanction movement, while members of SJP, Wunk Sheek, MEChA and the Black Student Union pressed council members to consider their concerns as marginalized students.

Throughout the evening, open forum became an emotional, accusatory battle of minorities. Speakers from both sides demonstrated an utter lack of respect and empathy for one another, visibly silencing each other’s struggles and manipulating what started as legislation about global human rights into an opportunity to debate the Israeli-Palestinian conflict.

This exceedingly complex geopolitical struggle cannot be compressed into one ASM Council meeting, nor solved by one resolution.

What we can do as students is listen to one another. What we can do is refuse to minimize each other’s struggles by amplifying our own.

Resorting to ad hominem attacks, laughing and jeering during another student’s time at the podium and neglecting to even read legislation before making an informed decision is not working for us. One thing is certain: the divestment conversation is not over. And unless you all want to read a dozen more op-eds shaming fellow students as anti-Semites and racists, we had better be prepared to treat each other with more respect when the time comes.

Anti-Semitism is real. Anti-blackness is real. Indigenous erasure is real. Palestinian struggle is real. If you care about one, you should care about all, and recognize that pitting these struggles against each other benefits nobody and damages everybody.

There is no gold medal here. See you in four years said no one, ever.

For its devolvement into petty and unproductive dialogue, we award the ASM divestment debate the coveted Oppression Olympics Award.

Just shut up award: UW Student Body Things are not going well when your university’s chancellor, faced with a room full of students expressing their fears and grief regarding the growing presence of the “alt-right” on campus, blurts out “Well, you can pretty much stand on Bascom Hill and scream whatever you want.”

College students across the map have made national headlines throughout the 2016-17 school year on the subject of free speech, an issue UW students have gotten extremely intimate with time and again.

Neither the university nor the majority of the student body seems to have a strong hold on the distinction between free speech and hate speech, the latter of which some of the particularly ignorant — and Republican legislators — somehow manage to deny completely.

Perhaps we can shed some light on the matter.

If your right to freedom compels you to speak out in advocacy of hatred, of violence, of ethnic cleansing, of rape, sir, that is hate speech. The only reason you’d have trouble swallowing this pill is if your identity comes with such immense privilege — and you are vehemently opposed to educating yourself on this privilege — that you fail to understand the often fatal implications of what, to you, is only words.

President Donald Trump, as far as we know, has never laid a violent hand on a Latinx, black or Muslim person. But the freedom

of speech that protected him as he navigated the campaign trail, spewing lies about the violent tendencies of minority populations, fertilized American ground ripe with hate crimes, division and even murder.

From the attempted formation of a UW “alt-right” group, to the invitation of conservative pundit Ben Shapiro from Young Americans for Liberty, to bitter discourse and frustration surrounding a column berating Islam, to ASM’s divestment proposal, students have engaged in furious, often misguided, debate on the limits of free speech. Somehow, the university still lacks any hate speech policy, and all “offensive” speech is safeguarded under the free speech umbrella.

Chancellor: protecting the First Amendment is crucial for our campus and our nation. But so is protecting the livelihood of the marginalized and the disenfranchised, often the subject of slander from the mouths of the hateful who veil their animosity and bigotry under a feeble cloth of freedom.

Fraternities who sing about sexual assault should be shut down, and cowards advocating a political ideology calling for ethnic cleansing can hide in YouTube comments, but they will not be tolerated on Bascom. Maybe by you, but sure as hell not by us. For that, UW’s free speech policy receives the Just Shut Up award.

ray of sunshine: Madison municipal government It’s only May and yet the federal government has almost shut down, the Wisconsin state Legislature has accomplished next to nothing and Mark Zuckerberg has already started his 2020 campaign. Amid this chaos of government shines one small beacon of hope: local government.

In February, the Madison City Council unanimously passed a resolution that condemned President Donald Trump’s travel ban (read: Muslim ban), and reaffirmed Madison’s status as a welcoming place for all. The approved resolution denotes city libraries and the City County Building as “safe spaces” within Madison.

While the jury is still officially out on whether or not Madison is actually a “sanctuary city,” everyone in city government seems to be

19 • badgerherald.com • May 2, 2017

Michael Lim The Badger Herald

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on the same page. The mayor, city council and police chief actually all agree it’s not worth the city’s time or resources to (unjustly) profile individuals for minor offenses that could ultimately lead to deportation.

MPD has said it “will not arrest or detain any person solely for a suspected violation of immigration laws.”

Madison Mayor Paul Soglin echoed a similar (and very direct) sentiment during a January news conference.

“We are not going to operate on anything other than our Constitution and our own good will,” Soglin said. “The position of the city of Madison will not change.”

It’s a big deal when branches of the city government actually agree

on something, so if this doesn’t get the point across, nothing will; and that point is just one big “fuck you” to the Trump administration and the state legislators who relentlessly.

While municipal government can often be overlooked and/or dismissed as insignificant, this stance on the matter of sanctuary cities is anything but. After nearly 100,000 Madisonians marched in opposition to the Trump presidency following inauguration, the bright light of optimism gleaning from the city was nearly blinding.

For doubling down on its sanctuary city status while under a stupid amount of pressure from various levels of government, we award the city of Madison the Ray of Sunshine award.

OPINION

@BHopinion

Left vs. Right: Looking Ahead College Republicans: GOP powerhouse just getting started

College Democrats: Much to be proud of, but more to be done

When reaching a goal you inevitably encounter hardship, obstacles, criticism and even rejection. The conservatives on this campus understand the challenges faced when it comes not simply reaching a political goal, but just being yourself.

This happens every time you speak up in class and get shot down by a peer or professor.

Or when you receive dirty looks when others see your Republican laptop stickers. Or when you hear snickers in class anytime you’re associated with the words “Republican,” “conservative,” “Trump.” This campus’s inappropriate, but not surprising, dismissal of the conservative perspective can strike doubt in the hearts of many.

Nov. 8, 2016 was more than just victory. In the hearts of many students on this campus it represented hope. It was a moment of reassurance in the minds of conservatives here on campus, it was confirmation we are not wrong, we are not evil, our values and beliefs are not some ludicrous joke. Nov. 8 our doubts were subdued by purpose, as it dawned on us, the realization our voices are the voices of the American people; the realization that when we speak up on this campus, we put ourselves and our beliefs on the line to inspire action in others, and make change in government.

This past year has been huge for the College Republicans of the University of Wisconsin.

It wasn’t easy. An honest glance at the group would reveal the controversy and debate that surrounded campaigning for the presidential election. In light of President Donald Trump becoming the Republican nominee, we lost some great members and some great friends and we gained some great new additions to the team too.

This election cycle put everyone at odds, including conservatives. There were those who fought passionately for Trump and those who fought passionately against him. So while divisions were created, the greatest highlight was our ability to reveal to our campus and our country that “Republicans” and “conservatives” aren’t a stereotype. The Republican Party is a party made up of varying opinions, unique individuals, people who think critically and

The College Democrats have a lot to be proud of this year.

During the fall election, we registered the most college students on any campus in one day.

Our efforts helped to increase voter turnout on campus, so much so we surpassed 2012 turnout.

Our members worked on campaigns on the local, state and national levels and helped elect progressive candidates to congress, the state Legislature, city council, and school board.

Though we faced a very tough loss in November, this gives the College Democrats all the more reason to keep fighting for progressive causes students care about.

The College Democrats will continue supporting efforts that make our campus more safe and sustainable.

It has been clear following this election that young people are shaping the future of our party.

The College Democrats will work hard to incorporate as many student voices as possible.

Harnessing the power of student advocacy and activism on our campus is the best way to elect progressive candidates in 2018, 2020 and beyond.

The College Democrats will continue to advocate for issues like climate change, reproductive rights and student loan debt relief.

By giving students an outlet to work for change on these issues, the College Democrats can show our representatives at all levels of government that these are the issues that will shape the political future of our country.

20 • badgerherald.com • May 2, 2017

have the ability to engage in positive debate to challenge one another.

For the past eight years Republicans have anxiously waited their turn, and here we are ready to make big changes to government; to save the American people from drowning under the suffocating weight of President Barack Obama’s taxes. We’re here to take a stand and improve our foreign relations like a cowardly Obama never did. We’re here to save the average American’s health care from a bleak future under “Obamacare.” We’re here to improve national security to protect all Americans, and we’re here to get serious about real policy; real initiatives home and abroad, instead of liberal agendas and political correctness masqueraded around as progressive policy.

For all the conservatives out there, yes, bask in this glorious victory, but stay humble. We’ve learned doing the right thing is not always easy and we have a long way to go. Never forget the purpose of our elected officials: to serve the American people; all of the American people — people of every race, gender, age, ethnicity and party. Just remember we need to hold our elected officials accountable so they continue to listen to the will of the American people.

Stay humble. Because the point of our government is to serve the people, one of its main principles is conflict and compromise. So take advantage of our victory, take advantage of our voice. Next year on this campus, I look forward to seeing all of you reach out to others, people who are different than you, as friends.

College Republicans look forward to next year. We will continue to spread our conservative initiatives, and share our conservative voices. But in light of the division this last presidential election created, the College Republicans will also be sharing their smiles and camaraderie with all our friends on campus.

Emelia Rohl is a junior majoring in journalism and mass communications. She is the communications director for the UW College Republicans.

The College Democrats have the ability to show our representatives the power students have when they organize, and that we are an important voice that is not to be ignored.

Another component of College Democrats that has become increasingly important throughout this year is the fact we give students the drive and the abilities to one day run for office.

Now more than ever we need new, younger voices represented in our government.

The College Democrats have been instrumental to the successful campaigns of many former leaders of our organization.

In the future, we hope to focus more on this important aspect of what our organization does.

Encouraging students to one day run for office or volunteer on the campaigns of other progressive young people is one of the best ways we can move forward and create change.

Young people are becoming increasingly progressive and committed to political change.

College Democrats will harness the energy that has come out of students standing up to the current administration and use it to create change that will benefit our campus, city, state and country.

Eliana Locke (elocke2@wisc.edu) is a sophomore majoring in political science and communications and outreach chair for the College Democrats.

OPINION

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Thank you, Badger Herald, for being my people and everyone else’s These student journalists’, editors’, columnists’, business people’s work is more important than you realize

by Madeline Sweitxer Copy Chief and Editoral Board Chair

The thought has crossed my mind more than once: What if The Badger Herald never existed?

What if in 1969 the group of conservative students who founded what would become the country’s largest fully independent studentrun newspaper had decided to have a few more beers, back off their dissatisfaction with the Daily Cardinal’s campus coverage and go home?

For one, it’s possible I wouldn’t be alive – and maybe in more ways than one.

Nearly 20 years after that group of unruly students founded the University of Wisconsin’s premier sports editor, respectively.

And another 20 years after a drunken night at the Essen Haus celebrating the Herald’s first daily edition going to press cemented my

parents’ relationship, I joined the Herald staff as an opinion contributor – convinced I would rule the world with every column I penned.

But while world domination was on my radar, what I didn’t see coming was the depressive episode I would endure the following year, in the middle of my twosemester tenure as an opinion section editor.

I’m not in a position to say what would have happened had the Herald not been there.

All I know is the late night productions and the people populating them helped me get through a time in my life when it seemed the pain, heartbreak and anger might actually have killed me.

But beyond my personal tale, I know if it weren’t for the Herald, thousands of young journalists may never have gotten the reallife, hands-on experience our J-school so very much lacks. (Though I have seen glimmers of

hope in innovations such as The Observatory and the Wisconsin Center for Investigative Journalism’s class collaborations.)

This is not meant to be a blind dig on the hardworking professors or advisers who toil in Vilas Hall. But whether it be the inherent limits of a classroom or the lengthy and wellreported critiques Heralders before me have penned, I know the Herald has prepared me for life after graduation, wherever that may take me, exponentially more than my time in journalism classes.

The last two weeks before finals: The struggles of being ‘so done’ “Guys, I’m so done.” - Everyone Fellow Badgers, we have reached the pinnacle of done-ness. Yep, it’s the stretch of Read...

It’s for these reasons I’ve decided to donate a portion of my graduation money to the Herald. Because while you see our beautifully

designed print edition every Tuesday and our award-winning online coverage everyday, what you don’t see is the hours of planning, reporting and editing that go on behind the scenes.

Four years ago, I tentatively walked up the stairs of 152 W. Johnson St., a new guppy in a sea of 40,000 students. I glanced nervously around the Herald office full of new writers and thought, “These are gonna be my people.”

What I didn’t know at the time was that, through their tireless coverage of everything UW, Madison and Wisconsin, they would be your people too.

Madeline Sweitzer (msweitzer@badgerherald. com) is a senior majoring in political science, history and journalism.

‘Best four years of your life’ not protected from mental health issues With challenges seemingly constant, trusting yourself, showing kindness toward others is the best way to get by

by Gwynna Norton Columnist

I think I’d like to finish off my time writing with The Badger Herald with something a bit more action-oriented. So hopefully, this column will hold some practical advice.

I am graduating, and if there’s anyone just starting out, wondering if they’ll make it, maybe I can help. I’m far from an expert or professional (I’m barely old enough to drink), but there are many things that I’ve learned or come to believe in the past few years that have made so much of a difference in my life.

First off, I want to mention that I owe pretty much all of the things I’m about to say to the disability community. There are so many people writing about ableism and mental illness online, and it’s often difficult for people to find resources elsewhere. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with finding friends and support and answers on social media, and for many people, it’s life saving.

To everyone writing about this, sharing their symptoms, their recovery, their coping methods — thank you. You made me sit down and cry and take care of myself so I could finally get to sleep at 3 a.m., get up at 8, and do it all over again.

There are few things that make me more hopeful for humanity than the people who show all their vulnerabilities and write love and poetry into the world in the hopes that a stranger they will never meet knows that someone cares. I can’t stress enough how much this kept me going when I felt like too much of a burden to reach out, or when my sick brain

wondered if everyone would get frustrated and leave me.

There is always someone who wants you here. I also want to thank every friend and family member who has supported me, every classmate who asked me if I was alright, and every teacher who sat me down and told me not to worry because we’d figure everything out. I didn’t get through this by myself.

I’m just going to talk about one thing here, since talking about everything could fill several books. This won’t be useful to everyone, and you may have heard it already, but hopefully I can pass on the healing others have given me, even if it’s only to one other person. Maybe hearing it again will help. If you don’t need this kind of help I would encourage you to keep reading anyway, because you might find a greater understanding of people around you.

I’d say that the single most helpful and important thing I have discovered is compassion for myself. It was also the hardest.

I don’t mean this to be discouraging, rather I want to let you know that it’s okay if it doesn’t come easily to you. It took me years and years, and I still can’t manage it all the time (and frankly, no one can). That’s alright. For me it was very gradual, learning to let go more and more of things I knew I couldn’t do. Telling myself I didn’t need to feel guilty, and letting myself feel whatever I felt anyway.

I’ve come to appreciate that my body and mind are doing the absolute best they can to keep me safe. That’s what bodies and minds do. Sometimes they can’t do what others can, sometimes they don’t have the right information, and sometimes they hurt us with their efforts.

Our safety and survival is the primary concern of every single little cell in our bodies, but sometimes they sacrifice long-term health for immediate safety, or immediate comfort for survival.

Our bodies try to destroy and expel pathogens and we end up with sore throats, nausea, fevers and inflammation.

Our minds try to give us the most useful information and we end up with imperfect memory, limited attention, and differing perceptions of reality.

Things like pain, fear, guilt and anger serve purposes in the appropriate situations, but sometimes our bodies don’t know when we should feel these things and when we shouldn’t.

My brain perceives threats when it shouldn’t, and tries to keep me from doing things that won’t actually put me in danger. It’s overprotective of me, with no ulterior motive, no desire for manipulation or control, because it’s part of me. It has the purest kind of desire for my well-being. It senses that homework is stressful and tries to rescue me, and if I refuse to stop running headlong into “danger” it prepares me to fight it or run. Sometimes it’s overzealous and I have a panic attack.

It wants me to avoid anything unpleasant, to stay in and sleep like a wounded animal, to check everywhere in my apartment one more time because it apparently thinks we’ve already invented noiseless teleportation and there could be someone in here right now, waiting to attack me. I try to be patient with it, but it’s hard. It’s like a combination of a scared parent and a scared child and only I understand what’s actually happening, but I can’t communicate or control it directly because apparently

instincts and immediate reactions are useful for something. Thanks, evolution. You tried.

I guess my point is that my body and mind aren’t “wrong,” and neither are anyone’s.

In the end, they don’t know what is socially acceptable, what is expected of you, what will be accommodated. They just want you to survive and avoid pain as much as possible.

Sometimes our brains might be responding to misconceptions, delusions, hallucinations, trauma, different sensory data, uncontrollable emotions, etc. They’re still doing their best.

I don’t want to tell you that you should be more compassionate with yourself, because ... wow, that’s complicated.

I do want to tell you that it’s okay, and it’s possible, and you don’t have to do it alone.

I also want to tell everyone, particularly neurotypical people, to try to be compassionate towards others. It’s becoming more common to show compassion to people like me, with mental illnesses like anxiety and depression.

But what about others — bipolar people, schizophrenic people, nonverbal people, people who can’t fit into society’s definition of acceptable, with “scary” mental illnesses used as props in horror films and crime dramas?

They deserve to live and be included in society.

I really hate that I have to say this, but I know I do. People with mental illnesses, all mental illnesses, are human just like everyone else.

We all deserve compassion, and we all should be allowed to love ourselves without being constantly told we shouldn’t exist this way.

Gwynna Norton (gwynna.norton@gmail.com) is a senior majoring in mathematics.

May 2, 2017 • badgerherald.com • 21

OPINION

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Free speech alive and well at UW — but intellectual debate may not be Liberals, conservatives alike have become self-righteous, labeling all opposing views as threatening, oppressive

by Wilder Deitz Columnist

On this campus, it’s common to see people who deliver controversial messages dive for the cover of free speech once their message is met with opposition.

It is hard to tell what they are seeking protection from.

Real censorship means intimidation, but activists on campus seem far more interested in hearing themselves speak than silencing the opposition. Despite the warnings of conservative doomsday prophets, free speech is alive and well at our university.

But, as this past school year has shown, free speech is no guarantee of quality discourse.

Those on both sides of the political spectrum continue to talk past each other, producing large quantities of hot air but few original ideas. Leftist activists claim to act in defense of justice and equality while conservatives insist they bring important and underrepresented views to campus.

Per usual, both think of themselves as embattled minorities trapped in a system that doesn’t represent them. And between the two of them, they are degrading discourse on campus. Such has been the case since I began my freshman year, and it remains the case as I prepare to graduate.

Here are a few unfortunate trends in speech on campus from this past year.

Defensiveness

The quality of speech tends to suffer when groups assume the silent masses are in conspiracy against them.

This kind of paranoia was on full display in the campus reaction to the formation of the Madison American Freedom Party earlier this year. The “group,” which actually consisted solely of hapless bigot and computer science major Daniel Dropik, provoked a large, vocal protest called “Take Back Our Campus.”

Among tens of thousands of students there are bound to be a few racists. Does that mean violent white supremacy is a major force on our campus? Not unless we legitimize it by giving it a platform, something “Take Back Our Campus” accomplished with flair. Despite their good intentions, the organizers of the protest accomplished little beyond feeding the victim complex of the hateful “alt-right.”

Provocation

During the fall semester, YAF brought notorious right-wing pundit Ben Shapiro to campus. As a thinker, Shapiro is occasionally interesting, but is mostly just an obnoxious reactionary.

Unfortunately, protesters took the bait and interrupted the lecture, leading to an embarrassing climax featuring a lot of shouting, a few obscene gestures and no productive debate. The protesters should have known better.

But provocation is Shapiro’s specialty, and YAF surely did not expect a different outcome. There are plenty of conservative thinkers who bring ideas of value with them when giving a lecture. By choosing one whose strongest suit is controversy, YAF did a serious disservice to discourse on campus.

Obsession with identity

When individuals and groups suffer a mighty wrong, they have a right to claim

Self-righteousness

Echo chambers and cultural bubbles have turned too many students into committed ideologues, people so convinced they have found the truth they refuse to acknowledge any challenge to their ideology.

Near the end of the spring semester, the student group Young Americans for Freedom brought business magnate Steve Forbes to campus to give a talk entitled “How Capitalism Will Save Us.” Predictably, Forbes’ talk was met with leftist protests.

The occasion afforded Madison’s left wing a rare opportunity to debate a titan of capitalism on their own turf.

Instead, the protesters opted to remain outside the lecture, chanting pottymouthed slogans, harassing attendees of the event and congratulating themselves on a job well done.

This kind of behavior reflects badly on the socialist cause and the university as a whole. This is supposed to be a place where ideas interact, clash and sharpen. Instead, we’ve settled for preaching sanctimonious sermons to our respective choirs.

Photo · In hosting right-wing pundit Ben Shapiro for a November 2016 on-campus event, Young Americans for Freedom fell into the trap of unproductive provocation.

Katie Cooney The Badger Herald

justice. How far does that right carry, though?

When people start to feel oppression is so central to their identity they perceive any challenge to their beliefs as a personal threat, the production of good ideas is sure to shut down.

The recent ASM deliberations over divestment brought out some discomfiting behavior from both camps. The multiethnic coalition in support and the Zionist contingent against both made the mistake of taking the other side’s arguments personally.

What began as an impassioned debate over the merits of divestment soon devolved into a battle over identity. That is the kind of argument no one ever wins, and that rarely produces any ideas of value.

Apathy

Yes, campus activism has its flaws. But it’s still refreshing to see people putting forth views on social issues on a campus where any topic outside of sports, drinking and Snapchats seems radical.

Unfortunately, most of the campus community has no interest in politics.

This is a shame. Undergraduates at UW are, in general, both bright and passionate. The debate could be much richer if more students joined in.

We will have to get over these obstacles if the university community is going to begin producing ideas of value. One obvious solution is more real debate.

This is not a new idea.

But what a lot of activists on this campus fail to understand is debate is neither a compromise, weakness or luxury. It is intellectual combat where bad ideas are finished off, good ideas strengthened and new ideas formed. True, not every argument merits discussion.

But on the majority of issues, both sides look timid when they choose to complain rather than engage.

We have the energy and compassion to create a red-hot intellectual environment at UW. Next year, maybe we’ll see Madison socialists matching wits against free market-loving millionaires. Maybe we’ll see conservative groups get over their inferiority complex and bring a speaker of substance to campus. Maybe we’ll see Black Lives Matter activists and Zionist Jews arguing with passion, without bringing in any question of whose lives matter and whose don’t. Maybe not.

But it wouldn’t hurt to try.

Wilder Deitz (wdeitz@gmail.com) is a senior majoring in social welfare and French.

May 2, 2017 • badgerherald.com • 22

SPORTS

@BHeraldSports

Top five moments of spring semester for Wisconsin athletics Volleyball, women’s hockey, football all made record-setting impact in Madison, country

by Ben Cross Senior Sports Editor

The University of Wisconsin Athletic Department had a lot to celebrate this semester, even if none of those involved a championship trophy. From last-second shots to prestigious awards, this Badger class produced several memorable moments that will stand the test of time Here is The Badger Herald’s list of the top five moments from this semester of UW athletics.

1. Men’s basketball: Zac Showalter hits a game-tying three as time expires against Florida

Down seven with only minutes left in their Sweet 16 matchup with the Florida Gators, the Wisconsin Badgers refused to panic and came back in nothing short of a miracle. After Bronson Koenig brought them back from the brink to a 3-point deficit with only seconds to go, he pulled up limp and was clearly in no shape to shoot a basketball.

Head coach Greg Gard turned to probably the only other reliable shooter on the team, senior guard Zac Showalter, asking him to do the impossible.

Showalter responded with one of the most memorable moments of the 2017

tournament, much like Koenig had done the year before, hitting a three as time expired and turning to Aaron Rodgers in the crowd with the patented “discountdouble check”.

2. Volleyball: Lauren Carlini wins Sullivan Award

Despite falling short of her championship dreams, Lauren Carlini achieved nothing short of history this semester, going to her fourth NCAA quarterfinals and winning the prestigious Sullivan Award. The award is given to the best amateur athlete and Carlini became not only the first Badger, but first volleyball player to ever win it.

The only other Wisconsin legend to even be invited to the finalist ceremony was football player and Heisman winner Ron Dayne in 2000. Setting numerous Badger volleyball records, Carlini had an unstoppable career and season in Madison, capping it off in the best way possible.

3. Men’s basketball: Badgers topple top seed Villanova to reach fourth straight Sweet 16 Back to men’s basketball, the Badgers wouldn’t have even reached the Sweet 16

if it hadn’t been for their upset in the first round against the No. 1 overall seed, the Villanova Wildcats. Reminiscent of the team’s historic win over Kentucky in the 2015 Final Four and the Round of 32 win over No. 2 seed Xavier a year ago, the win was nothing short of Wisconsin greatness.

Despite getting put in a tough situation by the NCAA tournament committee, the Badgers made the best of it and almost put themselves in place to make a run at a third straight Final Four. The gritty win against the Wildcats cemented Wisconsin as one of the top teams in the country and was a silver lining in a relatively disappointing end against Florida.

4. Football: Wisconsin takes home Cotton Bowl against Western Michigan

Despite an unfortunate collapse in the Big Ten Championship game against Penn State, No. 8 Wisconsin had a chip on their shoulder going into the Cotton Bowl in early January. While most picked Western Michigan to pull the upset on a downtrodden Badger squad, UW went to work like they always do and pulled an impressive, all-around performance to their first New Years Six Bowl win since 2000.

Now 2-0 in bowl games in his first two

years, head coach Paul Chryst is quickly cementing himself as one of the most consistent coaches in the Big Ten and the country. The solid play against Western Michigan proved Chryst’s ability to calm down his team and was a good sign for a growing program going forward.

5. Women’s hockey: Badgers reach NCAA championship for first game since 2011-12

The women’s hockey team would’ve been higher on this list if they had won just one more game to finish off their historic season, but to no avail. The senior-filled Badger squad was No. 1 in the NCAA rankings from week one to the final game, but couldn’t finish off the job against No. 2 Clarkson in the Championship.

Despite ending in a tough light, The Championship game had alluded the Badgers for five seasons until this one.

Relying on probably the best roster the program has ever had, Wisconsin put up a dominant performance to beat No. 4 Boston College in The Frozen Four and play for their fifth National Championship.

Beilstein: Bittersweet goodbye, beginning of new road

Softball beat writer headlines impressive class of Badger Herald seniors who are saying goodbye after years of dedication

by Nolan Beilstein Beat Writer

I have only spent three semesters writing sports for The Badger Herald, and I sincerely wish I had spent more. After spending two semesters writing for the opinion section during my freshman and sophomore year, I decided I should try my hand at hopefully my future career.

While I have acquired a number of skills, they are not comparable to the group of writers and community I have been exposed to. To my editors from last year, Eric Goldsobel and Nick Brazzoni, to this year ’s, David Hayes and Ben Cross, and the countless other writers I have met, I am grateful to have known you. The Herald

office offered me nothing but support, encouragement and guidance in my short time here.

I enjoy looking back to the time when I did not know what to expect or how to exactly go about my duties, looking back to the nerves I felt when I interviewed my first athlete, looking back to the first game I covered and the satisfaction I felt when I saw my stories go online and to print. I thank the Herald for such a transition to where I am now as a sports journalist.

Though professors would advise against it for a journalist, I was able to become a fan of the teams and players I covered. I was able to see their lives as athletes and students. From interviews at practice, via phone or postgame, I gained an enormous appreciation and admiration for the athletes here at Wisconsin.

Over the last three semesters, I have covered both the softball team and the women’s soccer team here at University of Wisconsin. For all four years, I have been a member in the marching band playing at football, volleyball, basketball and hockey games. These beats gave me the opportunity to view Wisconsin sports beyond what I would normally see.

I was able to cover a Wisconsin women soccer team’s run all the way to the second round of the NCAA tournament and a player that now competes for the U.S. national team. I was also able to watch and cover a Wisconsin softball team grow from a team four games above .500 to a team that matched their previous season’s win total with nine games to play and a shot at the NCAA tournament.

I would like to thank all the players and

coaches who gave me the time to talk with them to better my stories: Kelsey Jenkins, Brooke Wyderski, Samantha Arents, Melanie Cross, Taylor Berry, Kaitlyn Menz, Sara Novak, Kirsten Stevens, Taylor-Paige Stewart, Chloe Miller, coach Yvette Healy, Coach Danielle Zymkowitz, Caitlyn Clem, Rose Lavelle, Sydney McGinnis, Micaela Powers, Kylie Schwarz, Dani Rhodes, Steph Fabry and Coach Paula Wilkins.

I would also like to thank the sports contact for both teams, Kelli Grashel, for coordinating interviews and providing everything I needed to do my job.

I look forward to moving on to another chapter, but I will never forget my time here. I look forward to keeping up with the Herald and the teams’ progress in the years to come.

THIS WEEK IN WISCONSIN SPORTS SOFTBALL 4/28/17

2 7

WISCONSIN ILLINOIS

LOSS

MEN’S TENNIS 4/28/17

WISCONSIN NORTHWESTERN

WIN

SOFTBALL 4/29/17

WISCONSIN ILLINOIS

WIN

MEN’S TENNIS 4/29/17

4 2

WISCONSIN OHIO STATE

LOSS

MEN’S ROWING 4/29/17

WISCONSIN MIT

WIN

4/29/17

WISCONSIN BOSTON

LOSS

3 0

0 4

SPORTS

@BHeraldSports

Male athlete of the semester: Senior forward Nigel Hayes

As integral part of four consecutive Sweet 16 Wisconsin men’s basketball teams, Hayes made his mark in Madison

by Ben Pierce Associate Sports Editor

After a rough beginning, Nigel Hayes turned himself and his team around in route to a fourth consecutive sweet 16, capping his senior season with a game-winning shot and earning the title of the Badger Herald’s Male Athlete of the Year.

Throughout the year, Nigel Hayes became one of the biggest question marks for the Badgers, struggling to find his jumper and proving to be a liability at the line. As the season wore on, Wisconsin fans longed for the player they saw in the second half of the 2015-16 season when he led a young team to the Sweet 16, or the sophomore who stole the show on the Badger’s run to the NCAA championship.

Yes it was clear, Hayes no longer had the supporting cast of guys like Kaminsky, Gasser and Decker. But if his college career up until this point was any indication, the senior from Toledo, Ohio was more than ready to take the reins.

As his final season in Wisconsin began, expectations peaked for a team whose leaders (Hayes and Koenig), have never lost in the first round of the NCAA tournament. With a talented group of young players including sophomore Ethan Happ who burst onto the scene in his freshman campaign, Hayes and company were poised to continue the streak of

success deep into the playoffs.

Living up to those expectations, the Badgers jumped out to one of their best starts in program history with a record of 22-3. With the team rolling behind the play of Ethan Happ and Bronson Koenig, Hayes struggled to find that elite talent we’ve known for three years.

The biggest wakeup call came at the end of the season when Wisconsin lost five of their last seven, and a team built on success and consistency couldn’t find either. With the Big Ten and NCAA tournaments knocking at their door, the Badgers were scrambling for answers, and where better to look than Nigel Hayes.

Despite Hayes’ struggles from the line, 59 percent, the Toledo native was not settling for a late season collapse to cap off his historic career.

The Villanova game, like Hayes’ season, was a rollercoaster. A run here, a slump there, but in the end the veteran proved his worth, cementing his legacy in Wisconsin basketball.

Along with a career shot to take down a one seed, Hayes’ compiled a notable list of achievements in his final year as a Badger, making him our Male Athlete of the Year.

Photo · Senior forward Nigel Hayes did all he could to get Wisconsin back in the lime light.

Jason Chan The Badger Herald

Female athlete of the semester: Midfielder Rose Lavelle Now member of U.S. women’s national team, Lavelle finished her career as Badger on several high notes

by Peter Tongas Associate Sports Editor

Senior midfielder Rose Lavelle capped off what was already a historic career for the University of Wisconsin women’s soccer team when she became the first UW student-athlete selected No. 1 overall in their respective sport’s professional league.

The Boston Breakers took Lavelle with the first pick in the 2017 National Women’s Soccer League draft in January after a standout four-year career with the Badgers, marking another accomplishment in her celebrated career at UW. After receiving Big Ten Freshman of the Year honors in her first year as a Badger, the Cincinnati, Ohio native just kept reaching new heights with the Badgers.

She became the first UW women’s soccer player ever to collect three All-America honors, earning second team honors in 2014 and 2016 while being named to the first team in 2015 — the first UW women’s soccer player to do so since 1991.

She was also a MAC Hermann Trophy semifinalist in 2015, just the second player in program history to be that closely considered for college soccer ’s most prestigious award.

Lavelle also became the first Badger to be named Big Ten Midfielder of the Year, an honor she earned twice in 2015 and 2016 — the first person to earn the honor in backto-back years since its inception in 2011.

The senior collected her fourth-straight First Team All Big Ten selection — the first four-time winner in program history — during a stellar senior campaign, though it’s more than just the individual accolades that sets Lavelle apart from most.

On top of leading the Badgers in a slew of categories — points (16), goals (6), shots (74), shots on goal (31) and game-winning goals (2) while ranking second in assists (4) — Lavelle became the program’s first Senior CLASS Award winner, landing on the second team.

The Senior CLASS Award, an acronym

for Celebrating Loyalty and Achievement for Staying in School, focuses on the complete student-athlete. While the award takes competition into account, it also honors the attributes of community, classroom and character.

Lavelle started in all 22 matches as she captained Wisconsin back to the NCAA Tournament for the first time since 2014.

The senior even recorded the lone goal in a victory over Marquette that propelled the Badgers into the second round of the tournament, though they would eventually fall to Florida.

With her career at UW in the rearviewmirror, Lavelle continues to excel on the field elsewhere. In April, she became the first player in program history to record a goal for the USA, accomplishing the feat in just her fourth appearance. Later in the month, she became the third Badger alum to play in the NWSL, which was created in 2012.

Photo · Former Badger Rose Lavelle is lighting up one of the best teams in the world.

Jason Chan The Badger Herald

SPORTS

facebook.com/badgerherald

Bumbaca: Thanks for four years of learning experiences Former sports editor, current writer bids farewell to friends, Herald mentors who helped along way

by Chris Bumbaca Senior Writer

The one aspect of farewell columns I can’t stand is that people always complain about how to start them.

Now that we’ve got that out of the way, let’s get to it.

You know those moments where you kind of do a slow 360 and soak it all in — the people, the moment, the everything — and just say “wow”? I’ve done that a lot since September 2013, and none of those instances that occurred throughout the past four years are possible without The Badger Herald.

I’m 22 years old (yikes), but I feel like I’ve lived a lifetime because of the Herald.

My first story — of 320, according to WordPress — was a short write up from Gary Andersen’s (remember him?) news conference the Monday after the University of Wisconsin lost to Arizona State in 2013 on some shoddy end-of-game management.

About 15 months later, I sprinted from College Library to the bowels of Camp Randall Stadium to cover the fallout from his resignation. My name appeared on the front page for the first time the next morning.

It’s been four years, and I don’t regret a damn thing. I was thrown into the fire from literally day one and never stepped out.

Who would want to?

But I guess I have to now. And it really sucks. It sucks so bad.

I loved every minute of this job, whether I was pulling my hair out while editing grammatical mistakes or staying sober at a tailgate because I had a game to cover. (Let’s be honest, I probably failed at that a time or two.) I covered two horrendous seasons of women’s basketball and watched the volleyball team win 22 straight sets. I became a College GameDay sign and road-tripped across the Midwest to report on the Badgers.

I flew to Los Angeles on company dime to watch UW clinch its second consecutive Final Four berth. Aaron Rodgers and Olivia Munn walked right by me while the Badgers cut the nets on the floor of the Staples Center.

I was 19.

How did I deserve this?

To be honest, I never felt like I earned it.

I’m not complaining, though. I’m young and dumb, but I’ve already figured out that half the battle is being in the right place at the right time.

Believe me, I messed up along the way.

Bo Ryan’s surprise press conference to announce his retirement? I left before it started because I wasn’t feeling well! The mistakes hardened me, drove me to be better, work more diligently and dig deeper.

It’s with that passion I hope I attack the rest of my career.

I reflect on the amazing opportunities my time at the Herald has given me.

I’m talking about the experiences, including three too many return trips from Indianapolis feeling dejected.

I interviewed future NBA and NFL stars. I stood next to Paul Bunyan’s Axe. I covered top-10 teams. I formed relationships with coaches and developed admiration for outstanding studentathletes I had the privilege of covering.

Most of all, that’s what my tenure here boils down to: people. The Badger Herald has introduced me to an innumerable amount of spectacular human beings, and now it’s time to thank them.

Nick Daniels and Caroline Sage gave me my first shot at this gig, and I’ll always be grateful for that. Eric Kohlbeck became the big brother I never had. Dan Corcoran and I watched Randy Orton RKO videos until we cried of laughter, yet he still, against all odds, evolved into a valued mentor and friend. Nick Brazzoni was the best right-hand man I could ask for, is an even better friend and took the sports section to greater heights.

The Madison media is a close-knit group and getting to know everyone has been a true pleasure. Guys like Dennis Punzel, Jason Galloway, Jesse Temple, Tom Oates, Jim Polzin, Ben Worgull, Ryan Wing and Jake Kocorowski made covering Wisconsin sports a lot of fun. They were always kind to me. They didn’t have to do that, but I appreciate it tremendously.

I want to also thank the UW Athletic Communications Department for treating the Herald with respect. I’ve never covered another college sports program, but I have a feeling I’ve been spoiled.

You made my job easy and I hope their relationship with student journalists continues. I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention the camaraderie among fellow student reporters Matt Foster, Nick Osen and Curt Hogg.

Mom and Dad, thanks for encouraging and supporting me on this journey. I love you.

Finally, to you, the reader. You may read only because I wrote it and want to be a good roommate/friend/family member, or you may actually be interested in what I was writing. Regardless, you are the reason why I do this. Your feedback, criticism and kind words have fueled me for four years and I cannot adequately express my gratitude toward everyone.

Know that I cherish you all.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got some dramatic, slow-mo, 360-degree spins to get to.

Congratulations to the newly elected 2017 members of the Alpha Chapter of Wisconsin of Phi Beta Kappa Academic Honor Society.

Benjamin Adams Samuel Alhadeff Samuel Allen Amir Alwan Anna Ambrosi Matthew Anderson Kaela Bader Jasmin Becerra Sydney Beecher Melissa Behling Elizabeth Brown Noah Brown Kelly Bucher Emily Burg Ailish Burns Mackenzie Carroll Tai Chaiamarit Alexander Chartier Erwin Chen Zoe Collins Rachel Conway Cheyenne Coote Christian Cuevas Audrey Dalgarno Jamie Dawson Wilder Deitz Christina Demars Aditya Dewanjee Michael Doubek Christina Dudley Mitchell Ewald Jordan Farraj Emma Fisher Michael Fisher Kyra Fox Michael Foy

Kysa Franseen Grace Frecentese Emmett Geisler Jason Geissler Bridget Gilmore Daniella Greenfield Joshua Grosser Rachel Gruenke Thomas Hameister Emily Hamer Shae Hamm Benjamin Hanley Bridget Harney Madeline Heim Nathan Heinrich Kathryn Hendrickson-Gagen Michael Hermsen Rachel Heuer Brady Hirshfeld Yeqian Hu Emma Hunt Grace Hyland Austin Jasniewski Emma Johnson Noah Johnson Anna Kaldjian Nitin Kanneganti Erica Keenan Benjamin Kerzner Jacob Kettinger Colin Kluender Zachary Legge John Levine Louisa Lincoln Shane Linden Brandon Lucari

Morgan Mahnke Jocelyn Marks Kelly Martin Hannah Mast John Mathie Aaron May Isaac Mehlhaff Gage Meyer Mackenzie Meyer Alison Montenegro Adam Mumm Brianna Murphy Nicholas Nager Zachary Nan Anthony Nestler Ashley Ng Andrew O’Neil Jennifer Ostrowski Lucas Oxtoby Catherine Pearce Sarah Perreth Eileen Peterson Dylan Pozorski Kelsey Rahe Helena Record Victoria Rehfuss Adam Rieder Nathan Leo Roth Story Sandy Shannon Schiereck Elise Schimke Noah Schneider Peter Schuetz Yuka Shiotani Madeline Sicora Natasha Simske

Ryan Sinclair Nausheen Singh Lauren Sklba Justin Sporleder Alexander Steiner Alexandra Steiner Giovanna Stern Isaiah Stock Tom Stone Yudong Sun Liliann Teister Emily Terlap Hailey Thompson Amy Ticknor Teague Tomesh Joseph Trimarco James Urban Luke Valmadrid Matthew Van Boxtel Ranveer Vasdev Rose Walters Kelly Weldon Mariel White Thomas Wiltshire Linda Wu Yacong Wu Susanna Yaeger-Weiss Fanghao Zhong Megan Ziesmann Nicole Zindl Katelyn Zutter Names Withheld (4)

Congratulations to Michelle Harris (Biocore) recipient of the 2017 Phi Beta Kappa Excellence in Teaching Award.

Congratulations to honorary Inductee and featured speaker Judge Everett Mitchell. Thank you to student speakers Jamie Dawson and Yuka Shiotani.

Phi Beta Kappa recognizes excellence in scholarship and accomplishment in the liberal arts and sciences.

May 2, 2017 • badgerherald.com • 26

SHMOMBER AND SHMOLIN: PART 2

WHITE BREAD AND TOAST

MIKE BERG

BY CATERPILLAR (AGE 6)

CALL FOR CARTOONS: The Badger Herald’s diversions page accepts work from cartoonists of all ages!

Send 300 dpi scans of your work to comics@badgerherald. com or jduncan@badgerherald. com. To promote artistic liberty, any size and format is accepted.

May 2, 2017 • badgerherald.com • 27

A WITCH NAMED KOKO

CHARLES BRUBAKER

SHMOMBER AND SHMOLIN

BY CATERPILLAR (AGE 6)

EDITOR’S NOTE: This story is printed with the permission of Caterpillar and his parents.

CLIFF’S NOTES

28 • badgerherald.com • May 2, 2017

BYRON LIND

kookaburracards@verizon.net

SHMOMBER AND SHMOLIN: PART 2

WHITE BREAD AND TOAST

MIKE BERG

BY CATERPILLAR (AGE 6)

CALL FOR CARTOONS: The Badger Herald’s diversions page accepts work from cartoonists of all ages!

Send 300 dpi scans of your work to comics@badgerherald. com or jduncan@badgerherald. com. To promote artistic liberty, any size and format is accepted.

May 2, 2017 • badgerherald.com • 29

STAFF PHOTO

@badgerherald

Staff Photo Spring 2017

Katie Cooney The Badger Herald

Management: Hayley Sperling 2017: Editor-in-Chief 2037: Evil laughter heard from Earth as she reports on space wolves Emily Neinfeldt 2017: Managing editor 2037: Finally moves into Red Sushi Nina Kravinsky 2017: Managing editor 2037: Sleeping News: Alice Vagun 2017: Digital News Editor 2037: 5’ 2’’ Vidushi Saxena 2017: Print News Editor 2037: Still raging with her mom

Montana Leggett 2017: City Associate Editor 2037: Founder of the worldwide coalition of tuba players Dana Kampa 2017: State Associate Editor 2037: Mayor of Spooner Helu Wang 2017: City Associate Editor: 2037: Has accrued $1 million in late fees on speeding ticket from 2017 Peyton David 2017: Campus Associate Editor 2037: Professional speed walker

2017: Features Editor 2037: Founder of baking therapy institution

Features: Teymour Tomsyck 2017: Features Editor 2037: “Just one more semester” Maija Inveiss

Sports: Ben Cross 2017: Sports Editor 2037: Stay-at-home dad to an entire lacrosse team

Opinion: Yusra Murad 2017: Opinion Editor 2037: Bathing in the tears of the white man Connor Touhey 2017: Opinion Editor 2037: Founder of association to eradicate Mopeds from existence Aly Niehans 2017: Opinion Associate Editor 2037: Proprietor of trendy glasses shop

David Hayes 2017: Sports Editor 2037: Little League coach ArtsEtc: Celeste Benzschawel 2017: ArtsEtc Editor 2037: Rock mom Kristin Washagan 2017: ArtsEtc Editor 2037: Inventor of food that keeps cats kittens forever Copy: Maddie Sweitzer 2017: Copy Chief 2037: Probably yelling about something Izabela Zaluska 2017: Copy Associate 2037: The Bachelorette

Frances Smith 2017: Copy Associate 2037: Still looks better in every color than you do Brighton Lindberg 2017: Copy Associate 2037: Stalking Harry Styles at LAX Photo: Riley Steinbrenner 2017: Photo Editor 2037: Governor of Virginia Katie Cooney 2017: Photo Editor 2037: Joins pack of wolves and spends rest of days roaming mountains with them Design: Greta Zimmermann 2017: Design Director 2037: Literally the whole MET is just her art Comics: Josh Duncan 2017: Comics Editor 2037: BECOMES white bread and toast Social: Melanie Tobiasz 2017: Social media coordinator 2037: Still pretending to like Kevin Briana Lerner 2017: Social media coordinator 2037: Runs UW-Madison twitter Banter: Dan Chinitz 2017: Banter Editor 2037: Sole sponsor (and attendee) of Shrekfest 2037 Video: Amos Mayberry 2017: Video Editor 2037: Far, far away - likely in a lighthouse, Matthew Norman 2017: Video Editor 2037: Wins nobel prize for creating brownie-flavored beer (that actually tastes OK) Business: Tyler Lane 2017: Publisher 2037: Still waiting for someone to post his Mifflin bail Bobby Zanotti 2017: Business manager 2037: Top 10 Best Office Decorators Will Errath 2017: Business associate 2037: Still a sophomore Aaron Reilly

by DAN CHINITZ Banter Editor

BANTER BANTER B I N G O

BI NGO Summer Vacation

Pretend to in Masturbate be aLincoln crab the Bedroom

Don't do a single thing that will advance your career Tip the Secret Service attendant who pumps #endlesssummer your gas

Check out the White House Get sea sick volleyball on your court for a friend's boat game of Nukem

Talk about the internships you could've had

Put "don't Learn touch" signs on parkour all of the artwork

Show your parents you didn't learn to cook at college

Go back to your Skinny dip high school in the White to die pool House

Fulfill your promise to Blossom into write a new a beautiful edition of the young adult Supreme Court Justice League

Outdrink all your high school loser friends

Check the Steal a parking Resolute cone just like desk the oldfor daysany artifacts

Learn coding

Do a #TBT to winter

Keep a George Take Air Force Drink a cold Put a couch on One for a joy Foreman grill beer on a the back of a ride pickup in thetruck Oval Office

Friday night

Introduce your younger sibling to alcohol

Drink all day every day

Call your mother to tell her you Fall ingot love that job you wanted

Name all American Drive bald a car for eagles after the first time yourself in a year

2017: General Manager 2037: Opinion Editor Emeritus Briana Reilly 2017: Community outreach coordinator 2037: Still looking for a gavel Billy Maloney 2017: Marketing manager 2037: Becomes the Snapchat ghost Emily Hamer 2017: Marketing strategist 2037: Spends life savings on hand-crafted Harry Potter wand Ads: John Batterman 2017: Ads director

Set up an Xbox in theaOval Wear Office

Wisconsin shirt every day

Just go for it and drive

Commission Nick Tell to yourself Cage double you'llthe work check desk on your professional skills

Intern as a bum

Put Washington's portrait Down 24 pack on thea fridge of Corona every night

2037: After a bitter two-decades long power struggle, for some reason still the Ad Director Sam Streeck 2017: Ads manager 2037: Finally gets Herald Twitter password so he can rt promo Jacob Bawolek 2017: Ads executive 2037: Reignited tensions with Cuba, all rum now seen as contraband in the US (including Captain) Eric Webber 2017: Ads executive 2037: Still looking for his wallet, let him know if you’ve seen it

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