Chapter 5, Why People Rebel by Peter Bahnsen

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WHY PEOPLE REBEL and COMMON PERSONAL REBELLIONS Of Book 1 The Arts of Reform and Rebellion 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555

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Contents WHY PEOPLE REBEL & COMMON PERSONAL REBELLIONS Reality of Frequent Rebellions---------------------------------------------------------------5-A Women’s Rebellions----------------------------------------------------------------------------5-B Breaking Loyalties to Love and Memories------------------------------------------------5-C Minorities and Rebellions---------------------------------------------------------------------5-D Growing up Rebellions-------------------------------------------------------------------------5-E Parent’s Rebellions------------------------------------------------------------------------------5-F Restricted Choices in Personal Rebellions-------------------------------------------------5-G Work, Consumer and Community Rebellions--------------------------------------------5-H Personal Rebellion Requirements for Action----------------------------------------------5-I References for Personal Rebellions----------------------------------------------------------5-J Eric Hoffer’s Approach to Motivation------------------------------------------------------5-K Imitators and Causes---------------------------------------------------------------------------5-L Ted Robert Gurr’s Approach to Motivation----------------------------------------------5-M

3 Part 5-A Reality of Frequent Rebellions Tools of Rebellion in Personal or Private Rebellions Section 5-1 There are events in life that most humans must face. All these events result in making choices about how to respond and whether to rebel or not. Separating oneself from the control of parents, for example, is a rebellion that occurs in several stages. Romantic relationships including marriage and bonds of friendship commence and change; sometimes just fading away but often leading one party to rebel. The presence of sickness, death, and disaster, force many of us to face the need to rebel against unbearable psychological conditions. The habits gained preparing for or participating in these common rebellions are both instructive and helpful in enabling us to be more effective in causes of greater moment. These life changes require hard choices about the priority of loyalties; priority of loyalties is a fundamental consideration in Rebellion. These meaningful rebellious changes also require risk and courage. The courage required is not insignificant because it involves what may appear mundane affairs to others but the future of your life and your personal self image may be at stake. The tools and arts of rebellion are just as applicable to personal rebellions as they are in rebellions in pursuit of a major cause which add meaning to life. Not only does using the arts of rebellion lead to more satisfaction and success in facing the vicissitudes of life, the more practiced we become in our personal life the more capable we become in giving our life meaning by the pursuit of change in a major noble and worthwhile cause bigger than our personal life.

4 Part 5-B ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Rebellions of Women Women and Personal Rebellions Section 5-2 The position of women in U.S. culture has improved immeasurably in the past few decades. There are however serious obstacles or cultural problems which still oppress women. In particular there are two major problems require a further rebellion by women to gain the national vision and freedom required in a resource constrained world. The role of childcare giver and elder care are largely unpaid roles which women predominantly perform, most often without male help. With vision, national leadership, universal national service, and application to automation and robotics in home and health care, we can start to solve this problem. Anything less than these efforts is a palliative and women will continue to be oppressed by their better nature and the willingness to accept the oppression inherent in these two poorly supported roles. Elinor Burkett is a prolific feminist writer but she manages to cover many sides of political issues with readability and considerable flexibility. She is the Author of the Right Women: A Journey Through the Heart of Conservative America. An Amazon.com reviewer quote conveys some of her ability” “After crisscrossing America to research this often surprising, intriguing book, avowed feminist Elinor Burkett found it impossible to pigeonhole conservative women. In Washington, young Republican "cigar and martini bimbos" help gut welfare and affirmative action; in Montana, a militia supporter home schools her kids; around the country, "Kitchen Militia" anarchists use fax and phone to expose government corruption and women entrepreneurs plot ways to deep-six onerous regulations. The only thing uniting these women is a determination to radically curb or dismantle present-day American government. Ironically, many of these conservatives wield power because of the feminist movement they disdain, but use it to crush liberal stepping stones that favor government support for women's rights. Although Burkett skims over complexities-suggesting, for example, that women have pretty much achieved parity with men--her book paves the way for true dialogue”. Most interesting to the readers of The Art of Rebellion however is that the two issues Elinor Burkett sees facing women in their pursuit of equal treatment are “caring for children and elder care”. These two items are the most oppressive cultural detractors to women’s equal chances for economic success.

Caring for Children and Rebellion Section 5-3 There indisputable fact for women, even in marriage, is that they do the great majority of caring for children. For poor women with no spouse the burden prevents or detracts from getting or holding a job. As marriages get shorter the childcare problem increases. The “Kiddy Mac” bill, which would provide loans for child care centers will assist in a small fashion in providing adequate centers for child care but do little for the per-child cost which varies from a low of $1000 a year in lower cost areas to $4000 a year in New York. A major part of this high cost of child care for working women is the personnel cost for employees of child care centers. The total cost of Child Care for the U.S. is estimated in the range of $40 billion, give, or take, several billion. The problem of providing quality child care for the single or married women who must work and for the 60 thousand women on welfare who might work, if child care were available to them, is by any estimate a large number. There are two potential solutions that do not involve directly adding directly to the budget. They are: requiring employees to pick up the tab and a National Service act. Both these alternative are covered in the “solutions” chapter. Both these alternatives deserve support by those who care about equal rights and opportunity

Caring for the Elderly Section 5-4 In situations where the elderly must be cared for at home women end up doing the job approximately 72% of the time. With an entire babe boom generation starting to retire the problem is about to become more acute. The number of resources on the net for assistance in care for the elderly is immense. Start with: http://www.aging-parents-and-elder-care.com/ Go from there to: http://www.careguide.com/. For a government site of elder care go to: http://www.eldercare.gov/Eldercare/Public/Home.asp . If you are looking for a facility to accommodate your parent check out: http://www.carescout.com/ Last but not least google “elder care” with a secondary of “Resources” Again the problem in elder care is the cost of workers to do the job.

Women’s Rebellions in Business Section 5-5 The number of women rising to high positions in business increases year by year yet barriers remain. Lessons on breaking through the glass ceiling that seems to still exist for women may be found at: http://www.theglassceiling.com/biographies/Default.htm. Also consider a newsletter on handling problems that women face in business; Shatter at http://www.theglassceiling.com/ Negative lessons are just as helpful as positive lessons. Martha Stewart for instance played the game of men –and lost primarily because she had a reputation for being cruel and mean. Martha Stewart is an interesting rebel because she is an example not only of a woman who played a man’s game and won early and then had a great setback. Interestingly she is revered by many women for her rebellion despite her apparent ethical lapses --unlike Bill Clinton and many other males she paid the price. The lessons are that women want to play men’s rules do not have a level field. “Mean” is out. Ivana Trump is another example of the danger that women face when they fall into the “bitch” role which in a man would be overlooked. A lesson to be drawn is that sexual roles cannot be obliterated. In this light it is important to note that women have strengths and roles that men cannot use. Charm is sometimes available to men but is rare. Retreats for women from pernicious situations can involve charm if a woman has not bought to much into a strong feminist role. Men do not always play fair with their societal advantages. The exceptionally smart feminists will use those “charm” techniques that society affords and not discard a tool that works. Care must be used because always used as a resort can be converted into the perception of weakness..

7 Part 5-C Breaking Loyalties to Love and Memories Bad Marriages for Males and Females Section 5-5 More than fifty percent or U.S. marriages end in divorce and those are not good odds, Plan ahead when all is roses and wine. A woman needs a prenup as well as a man. Start by assuming the best but always have insurance. A bad divorce can scar both of you for life – both mentally and fiscally. Smart rebels decide beforehand on establishing a mutual contract. Doing so may even enable accomplishment of that rare situation where you stay friends afterwards. The book, Prenups for Lovers: A Romantic Guide to Prenuptial Agreements by Arlene G. Dubin is a good place to start. 1 From internet book watch --- a good reason to buy one or give it to your getting married friends are those ideas below: “This reviewer's first reaction to this reference book was: "I'm married almost a quarter of a century, why would I bother to read a non-fiction centering on prenuptial agreements?" I went in for a taste and completed Prenups for Lovers. After reading Arlene G. Dublin's guidebook, I realized that I not only learned a lot, but changed my mind about prenups. This tome should be must reading for anyone (either gender) thinking of getting married. Ms. Dublin debunks the non-romanticism that makes the prenup seem more like a cold business contract by emphasizing the importance of honest discussions on finances, future goals, and the consideration that each partner expects from the marriage. There are numerous tips with an index that helps the user focus on a particular topic and an easy to use sample prenup. The bottom line is that this helpful book does more than just coldly protect assets, which is important. It reminds couples that communication is the key to keeping a marriage from ending with a divorce decree and that should start before the "I Do". Also consider that you are really providing for the kids in a prenup makes it easier later. Marriages involve love and money and approximately half of all divorces occur as a result of money problems. The prenup requirement for marriages in all States should also 1

From a Barnes and Noble review. “This book addresses the need for prenuptial agreements and how they are created. Attorney and former journalist Dubin draws on her years as a matrimonial lawyer to make the case that prenuptial contracts protect and empower women, encourage communication about money, and contribute to the overall health of a marriage. The author reviews the common misconceptions about prenups and uses true-to-life profiles of couples to illustrate how agreements can be drafted to cover a variety of personal situations. She includes as a sample her own prenuptial contract and a useful checklist of financial issues that should be addressed before the walk down the aisle. Charts provide information on the marital and cohabitation laws in each state as well as some amusing and interesting tidbits about the prenups of the rich and famous. Clear and entertaining, this book is a good starting place for”

8 consist of a requirement for financial counseling. Aside from the cost of failed marriages to the individuals involved failed marriages are a severe cost to children and the state. Want to see some sample prenuptial agreements just Google “Sample prenup” but be smart buy the book or better yet give two copies to your friends who are going to get married.2 Well, if you weren’t smart enough to get a prenup and a lawyer before you got married there is always the divorce industry. Start with http://www.divorcenet.com and you will find state by state listings as well as a plethora of articles on various aspects of divorce. Rebellion is easier if you plan ahead but if you didn’t plan ahead make sure you get good legal advice afterwards. Oprah found a guy by the name of Bill Ferguson know as the “Love Counselor” who says you can divorce as Friends. It is worth a try and is seems to work for even keeping some together. Take a look at http://www.divorceasfriends.com/ Cheaper than a lawyer any day. Unchained Memories Section 5-6 In terms of loyalty what do we owe the dead? In some respects perhaps it is what we think we owe to the perception of others that creates our perception of a debt of loyalty to the dead. What of those who have promised partners to be faithful even after death or inheritors of leadership who promise to carry on with the same program? The problem is not a debt with the dead but the perceptions of others about you as well as your self perception of this debt. The important factor is not a debt to the dead for in truth that vow was an excess of a previous scenario. Despite self perceptions that of others it is how you will handle them must be clearly thought out. In terms of self perception the classic loyalty to the dead has been well covered in Sophocles’ play Antigone.3 Religion plays an important part in what we consider as intermixed duty and loyalty. The duties however that other’s perceptions of what loyalty and duty demand of us require rebellion and the pain of the break in loyalty can be as great as any other break in loyalty. The arguments for rebellion in this case are primarily psychological and require the psychological resources available through priests, therapists and very smart friends. Logic alone will not suffice. One simple answer is that when the needs of others impose on your ability to move on from loyalty to a deceased other then it is time for you to 2 3

In Antigone, two brothers die in a civil war. One brother fought for the city, the other against it. Creon, the king, decides to give the loyal brother a proper burial and the rebel brother none. Antigone, sister to them both, and niece to Creon, considers this a violation of religious duty, so she buries the rebel brother. Creon punishes her, but realizes too late that she was right.

9 consider separating your location from this mutual trauma for locations have a psychological hold on the bereaved. Rebellion against the weight of the perceptions of others can sometimes mean moving away from the scene.

10 Part 5-D Minorities and Rebellion V.1

Rebellion of Minorities and the Oppressed: Response to Prejudice, Bias, and Discrimination

Section 5-7

A major initiating cause of Rebellion stems from responding to prejudice, bias, and discrimination; there will be no effort in this work to cover all or even a major part of the resources available for assistance in responding to these ills. There is a tendency of some members of minority groups to think that they are the only, or the major, group to suffer from discrimination, prejudice, or bias. The truth is much more complex for there is also the problem of reverse discrimination; those discriminated against frequently return the animosity, disdain, and discrimination in equal fervor. Perhaps the first response when one feels the need to rebel against this insult is to gain understanding. Get the book: Multitude: Cross-cultural Readings for Writers edited by Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni. Responding to prejudice is a situational problem. The internet has a wealth on the subject. Start by googling “handling prejudice” and go from there. Remember however “Stranger” is an automatic tag and source of discrimination in all languages.4

The words foreigner, alien, peculiar, unfamiliar, outsider extraterrestrial are just a few of the many terms which indicate those who must be treated differently -in most cases not afforded the courtesy of those who are “natives of the area”.

11 Part 5-E Growing up Rebellions Rebellions from Parents Section 5-8 Children engage in three major rebellions from parents. The terrible twos, the Teenage years, and going away from home-- whether to college or to work. Add the rebellion of romantic associations or choices of friends and another major category might well be added. For a child in terms or raising a parent for college separation/rebellion try: http://www.utdallas.edu/student/slife/counseling/parents.html How to Raise a Parent While at College. For those who have never accomplished the rebellion while their parents were alive some will find that a rebellion must still come when one of your parents dies. Check the book 5 Losing Your Parents, Finding Your Self : The Defining Turning Point of Adult Life by Victoria Secunda. Terrible Two Rebellions Section 5-9 Knowing that the terrible twos is a natural occurrence is not always a help remembering that the desire to be independent and autonomous is a natural part of human growth and learning how to facilitate that with intelligence and sanity is crucial to teaching them how to rebel in manners which will give them the ability to become a more competent adult while keeping a modicum of your sanity. Try the book Children Who Say No When You Want Them to Say Yes: How to Deal with Stubborn, Defiant, and Oppositional Youngsters, from Toddler hood through Teens by James Windell. 6 5

From Publisher’s weekly While most writers on parental death focus on mourning, Secunda (When You and Your Mother Can't Be Friends) points out that this crucial event fosters major reassessment of one's attitude toward siblings, marriage, children and career. Having surveyed 94 people who have lost parents as adults, and interviewed several of them, as well as experts, she reports that each of the four possible familial pairings (father-son, etc.) has its own pattern, and that the loss of both parents has strong ripple effects. Notably, sibling relationships become primary, although affinities can fluctuate depending on birth order, age and previous closeness. Parental loss leaves many emotionally unmoored; in response, some feel a strong urge to marry, while others solidify or abort marriages, or confront their solitude. More than half of Secunda's respondents found that their relationship with their children changed, mostly for the better, while childless adults often paid new attention to nieces and nephews or became mentors. A significant minority reappraised their careers after their parents' death, leading to redirection, rejuvenation and, in some cases, confusion. More than half of the respondents reported intensified friendships, while some winnowed away those who didn't "add meaning to their lives." Ultimately, Secunda concludes, there is gain in loss. Those who made the most progress as "adult orphans" recognized that "whatever they did or didn't get from their parents now was moot. 6 - Dallas Morning News, Mike Maza says. “Tantrums in the toy store. Screaming in the restaurant. Yodeling in church. And, of course, that ready response to every request: "No!" All kids do it sometimes rebellion is part of a two-decade struggle for independence, says Mr. Windell. But some kids are more

BETTER TEENAGE REBELLIONS Section 5-10 As a teenager we start to look around and see that logic does not pertain to many of the rhythms of home, school, and religion; then we start to question and REBEL against those aspects that do not make sense or which infringe on our increasing perception of an inherent right to freedom. Frequently, because we are not allowed to question established cultural norms, our Rebellion breaks out in clothing, language or loud music; all things that are nonsensical to the questions that really bother us but which show our disdain for cultural norms in general. Since this type of Rebellion does not always directly question parental or organizational authority, it is more an irritating type of gratifying revenge which provides a show of independence and rebellion. To really make a meaningful Rebellion we must get learning experience in things that appeal to us or to things in which we have some affinity and which have real meaning. Running toward something that interests us, instead of running away from a bad situation, is the more intelligent and satisfying solution. Some things to run to that will give you both satisfaction and increase your options follow in sections below. Make your rebellion count and be a leader in the process. If you are not one of the “most popular” or “big sports figure” at this time of life your qualities will be appreciated as you impact expands. If you as a parent want to help a rebelling teenager get the book… For teenagers in rebellion or parents. here are few courses in how to raise children or parents. Try http://www.amenclinic.com/ac/resources/bestthings.asp for 101 best things you can do for a child. It is short and to the point. Or try Teenagers and Parents: 10 Steps for a Better Relationship http://www.parentsuccess.com/raisingteenagers.php3 If you are a teenager and Getting Along With Parents is your problem try: http://www.goodcharacter.com/BCBC/Parents.html

negative or defiant than others, usually because of a mix of temperament and the way adults respond to their goading. A psychologist in suburban Detroit whose clients include kids referred by juvenile courts and the father of a "stubborn, oppositional" son - Mr. Windell teaches a kind of behavioral jujitsu. Parents who keep their cool can shift the weight of annoying behavior back on the kid without lapsing into the threats, belittling and inconsistency that only makes things worse he says. Is the 4-year old driving you nuts with fibs? "To handle exaggeration and lies, join in and tell an even bigger or more nonsensical tale," the mellow Mr. Windell suggests. He splits kids into nine age groups from infancy to 18 to better explain the likely patterns and best responses to difficult behavior. -

13 If you are rebelling against parents with problems you might try the following source which treats problems like alcoholism, divorce and other dysfunctions. http://www.acu.edu/campusoffices/cou_med/counseling/help/family.html Difference between Showing Independence and Becoming Independent Section 5-11 When teenagers get to the age where they feel secure enough that they want to start escaping from their parents control they start creeping in with rebellion at the edges by just doing things that irritate. Small indiscretions serve; like failing to complete the chores most of us have around the house. Some teenagers never escape this irritation phase. Real independence requires bigger stuff. One of the most significant rebellions a teenager might want to pursue is a rebellion against the teacher’s union of the NEA. The union is dead set against trying other types of education and studies show that teachers with other degrees than Education degrees are better teachers. If you want to engage in a real rebellion then rebel against the NEA which controls much of education and according to many keen observers keeps reform from happening; form a group. You can change education and make it more interesting with better teachers. Research it first: Go on-line and find out whether the NEA is really holding back education reforms and if so why. Maybe you’ll find out why bad teachers get to continue torturing students when they should be doing something else. Start with a bit of history on the organization. Go to: http://www.leaderu.com/orgs/probe/docs/nea.html and expand from there. Teen Work as a Rebellion Section 5-12 As an alternative to changing the system stay in school but run away to work. Work will give you the contacts you need to become independent and different points of view. You don't have to leave home. Lawn mowing yard cleaning cleanup jobs may do no more than give you money for options but they also create contacts. Work can provide you with new friends and new acquaintances. Better yet if your examples at home are disappointing then you may find better mentors through work. Finding a good mentor or advisor is a worthwhile effort. There is a large choice on line just google “teen advisors” with a sub of “mentors” and you will find all categories of advice and for all groups including immigrants; or start with: http://dir.yahoo.com/Society_and_Culture/Cultures_and_Groups/Teenagers/Advice/

Teen rebellion into Sports Games and Music Section 5-13 Sport or games are a way to escape. If you can find no other outlet for your frustrations or you lack of resources then sports may be your rebellious cause. Picking a sport or game in which you can compete well is the entre to school, to companionship, to endorsements. Kids from the ghetto sometimes succeed with this high stakes low return rebellion against society. If you are not large enough to compete in major sports then find a sport on-line where you intelligence or quickness of hand can prevail -Music: One who learns to play a musical instrument whether it be the simplest recorder will always be able to find joy and a welcoming group. Sports: Dave Pasch of Syracuse Athletics has some interesting words to say about the uses of sports as an escape speaking about the recovery from 9/11. 7 Loyalty to a sports team is a major loyalty for many men. 8

We as a society now more than ever need somewhere to escape, and while prayer and grieving may not stop, it can be excused for three hours on a Saturday, and replaced with joy and cheers. In the scope of life, sports are and always will be meaningless, but its entertainment purpose can't be overstated. You and I attend, watch, and listen to games as an escape, and I can't think of a better time to escape. America needs and deserves an opportunity to gather and celebrate freedom, and nothing personifies freedom like sport. The freedom to cheer, boo, laugh, and cry --In many cases, we've used sports as an escape from problems at home, or at work. That credit card bill you just can't stand to look at or the lawn that severely needs mowed. We can now use sports as part of the grieving process. We can also use sports as part of the recovery process for the world's greatest country, which will always stand tall. Sports can be a great representation of that stability and resilience. 8

Sports fans are a unique breed of people. They are perfectly normal in most situations, but put on a game of their favorite team and BOOM; out comes the rabid fan. A lot of guys see sports as an escape from the stress of everyday life. Men understand this whole phenomenon but unfortunately, most women don't. A girlfriend or wife can pretend to be "supportive" when you go out with the guys to watch sports, but watch out when you get home. You better have just as much time planned for her as you do for sports. It's in men's blood to be competitive and that is why we love sports so much. We live vicariously through athletes, they are the what if I tried answer to all those dreams we had as little boys about growing up and hitting the winning homerun in the 9th inning of the World Series. When an important game comes on, friends become enemies and enemies become friends. Look at the world's (minus the US and Canada) fascination with soccer. Two countries in Central America once called a cease-fire during their war to play a soccer game. Sworn enemies in the African nation of Cameroon united as one when their team advanced to the quarter-finals in the 1990 World Cup.

Rebeling For, Not Against Section 5-14 Examples of young rebels are endless. The stupidity of much of what passes for growing into adulthood drives many down a destructive path. James Dean is the personification of this path. See http://www.americanlegends.com/bookstore/deanstory/intro.html. To rebel for something we must work out a plan in our mind. There are lots of examples of rebels for unpopular causes who accomplished great things. Read, the biography of Susan B. Anthony: Rebel for the Cause. Want to see some examples of “Rebels for a Cause”, Google the phrase and you’ll find many who fought against parents and other obstacles. You’ll also be in green and populist territory which is noted for extremes, not the middle ground. Rebellions for a Better School Section 5-15 Join the school paper. Start a rating of the best teachers. Look at the following sites for evaluating teachers….Start a blog site. The school cannot control that.

Rebellion As We Depart From Home and Parents Section 5-15 Some parents never seem to want to let go. Movies give us some funny scenes of the end results of a rebellion against this type of control. Remember The Graduate? 9 Movies are a tool for teaching about adolescent development and the process of “being” which precedes the adult level of “doing”. The Breakfast Club is one such movie and is discussed with other movies that help understand this stage of development and rebellion.

In the spectacular, and almost comical ending of The Graduate, Benjamin Braddock "rescues" Elaine Robinson from the fate of an arranged marriage, by entering the church in which she is to be married and in on of the most classic scenes of all time banging on the glass of the balcony shouting "Elaine! Elaine!" he then proceeds to usher her out of the church amid angry parents and guests who literally try to strangle him. He fights them off with a symbolic cross he picks up, and then locks them inside the church by putting the cross through the handles of the doors. The ending scene is of Benjamin and Elaine "escaping" from their parent’s world on a bus. They are happy, not about being with one another, but about defying their parents, rebelling against what they have lived with for so long: upper middle class asses. They are less happy, and more content, they smile occasionally in this one minute long close-up of their faces.

16 See: http://ap.psychiatryonline.org/cgi/reprint/24/2/110.pdf for some ideas and other movies which explore the subject. Sexual and Gender Rebellions Section 5-16 Important to remember is that the attraction of sex is natures trap for the propagation of humanity. It may well be the blessing of which many speak but the opposite side of the coin is that making the mistake of unplanned parenthood is not just a trap but a monumental cost to future options. Rebellions should be about gaining more freedom and therefore more options but unplanned parenthood closes down relationships and options. Rebellion against gender identification is an enormous unsorted societal problem at the moment. While it is clear that some of us are born with the proclivities and instincts of a sex other than our physical bodies some would argue there is also evidence that some individuals have the capability of going either way or choosing. The inherent social problem is that many religions teach that cross gender relationships are unnatural or evil and many feel that these relationships are a threat to them and their children. If you think you have a cross gender concern then start looking for answers on Wikipedia at “homosexuality” or google the word. The variations or sexual interest and attractions are endless a good guide if you want to feel better in your own skin is -----?----

17 Part 5-F Parents Rebellions Rebellion from Children Section 5-17 Not frequently considered are the rebellion that parents have to make from Children who continue to cling to their parents or depend on them to solve all their problems or act as full time baby sitters for grandchildren. Families Matter is an interesting blog http://blogs.salon.com/0003213/abouthollie.html has an article on the problems that boomerang children inflict on their parents. 10 Hollie

Atkinson wrote the footnote below and is a retired pastor involved in the marriage enrichment movement. The Atkinsons are past president couple of the Texas Council of The Association for Couples in Marriage Enrichment (ACME). They are certified to do marriage enrichment events by ACME.

This site has a religious orientation but offers some interesting responses.

Tom and Sue had eagerly anticipated the "empty nest" years. For 26 years they had been involved in the task of parenting four children. Now at the ages of 52 and 54, they were excited about having more time for each other. When their youngest, a college sophomore, left home in the fall, their first child, devastated by the break up of a marriage and the loss of employment, returned home. She brought with her two preschool children. Tom and Sue's nest was refilling. The story of Tom and Sue is being multiplied everyday as married children return to their parental homes for a variety of reasons: financial, health, emotional. Nests are being refilled. More than 22 million 18-24 year olds share their parents homes. This is a 50% increase since 1970. The under-30s, called by some "the boomerang generation," are returning home in greater numbers than at any time since World War II. Expanding housing costs and decreasing buying power is at the root of much of this return. Entry level salaries have failed to keep pace with housing costs. Regardless of the reason for the return of adult children, problems are created for both parent and adult child. Feelings of failure, frustration, embarrassment, and anger result in strained relationships. Parents often feel taken advantage of and feel there has been an infringement upon their time.

18 Part 5-G Restricted Choices in Personal Rebellions Bearing the Unbearable Section 5-18 Personal rebellions have intense costs for breaking of loyalties in personal rebellions are more intense than those of many less personal causes. The causes where your personal livelihood or very life are at stake can be intense for a short while but the intensity of pain caused by the intentional breaking of a personal loyalty lasts for much longer. The sharp daggers of insults and offended relationships can last a lifetime and parents and former loves have memories like elephants for what to them seem to be undeserved betrayal.. There are some things that must be faced and some associated rules. •

Prepare to be lonely. We are all ultimately alone and those who seek our low quality friends so as to avoid loneliness will find a worse reward.

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Don’t confuse the acts of engendering anger and irritation of others with Rebellion. This is the tactic of a loser.

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Find something, anything you like and expand your knowledge as far as you can go on that subject. Don't expect your parents or friend to share your interest. Do it because you like it.

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Evil friends eventually commit you to support of evil. Distance is the best cure.

19 Part 5-H Work, Consumer, and Community Rebellions Rebellions at Work Section 5-19 Personal rebellions at work are more complex than most personal rebellions since they are not “one on one” but “one against many” and the tactics considered in “The Arts” chapter apply. Rebellions against Commercial Sales Companies Section 5-20 Reacting against bad products and bad service is a unique art that offers tools not normally available in other type rebellions. One can hire a service to write your letter of rebellion, get one of several excellent books, or get the necessary information on line. One main point in all of these sources is; keep a detail record of every correspondence and every conversation. There are numerous source on the Net with better ideas for making effective complaints. Just google “how to complain” and get a host of ideas. Community Rebellions Section 5-21 Rebellions against affronts to a community, whether it is bad neighbors or poor public service, require unique approaches. Before trying to mobilize a community they must first perceive the damage to (1) the value of their property (2) danger to them and or their children. One of the better references for rebellions in communities is Stick Your Neck Out – A Street-Smart Guide to Creating Change in Your Community and Beyond. By John Graham.

20 Part 5-I Personal Rebellions Conclusions Attitude Planning and Persistence Section 5-22 Winning, coming out even, or minimizing loss is personal rebellions is a matter of attitude, planning and persistence. Make no mistake though the tools of the Arts of Rebellion are the same as those for larger causes. Practice them in your personal life and when the opportunity or necessity for the use of these tools comes in major causes you will be effective.

21 Part 5 – J References Some excellent sources on why people rebel exist and some are skimmed herein to indicate their importance; we will let each reader peruse them directly as their level of interest dictates. Ted Robert Gurr’s, Why Men Rebel is a 1970 Classic; it is a Political Scientist’s analysis of the causes of rebellion. Gurr’s work is also an excellent source of references on the topic and came with later references than Eric Hoffer’s 1951 book, The True Believer; Hoffer’s book is more readable and more of a historical or sociological assessment of the reasons for rebellion. Hoffer’s work is a look at the psychology behind mass movements, the motives, the potential, the power, and the responses of the rebel and “true believer”.

22 Part 5– K Eric Hoffer’s Approach to Motivation Eric Hoffer the Person Section 5-23 When published Eric Hoffer’s work “The True Believer” was compared to Machiavelli’s, The Prince in terms of the icy wit and original thinking. As a self educated man who had been a migratory field laborer, a longshoreman, and a gold miner he was without doubt an original thinker. Readable with jarring historical counter-points he is the opposite of the Academic approach to the subject of motivation in rebellion. Hoffer asserted “It is necessary for most of us these days to have some insight into the motives and responses of the true believers, for though ours is a godless age it is the very opposite of irreligious. The true believer is everywhere on the march.” Fifty four years later the situation is no different. The actions of those spreading death and destruction in the name of their god are matched by an equal number of the godless killing for tribe and unreasonable hatred; true believers all. Hoffer noted: “All mass movements generate in their adherents a readiness to die and a proclivity of united action; all of them are capable of releasing a powerful flow of activity in certain departments of life; all of them demand blind faith and single hearted allegiance. All movements, however different in doctrine and aspiration draw their early adherents from the same types of humanity; they all appeal to the same types of mind.”11 Section 5-24 The Desire for Change In addressing the reasons for motivations Hoffer first addressed the appeal of those with a desire for change and the appeal for change in mass movements; he identified the important attraction of those to whom life seems irremediably spoiled with a need primarily to “get away” from their detested self. It is not advancement they seek but self-renunciation. He noted; “A man is likely to mind his own business when it is worth minding; “When it is not he takes his mind off his own meaningless affairs by minding other people’s business.” Hope is provided by religiofication12 inherent in a mass movement. Again when a person has no reason to hope for change in their personal situation the appeal of

Eric Hoffer, Op. cit. Preface. Eric Hoffer coined the term "religiofication", which he calls the art of turning practical purposes into holy causes. 12

23 extravagant hope from a mass movement comes into play. The conviction that we have a holy duty to others is a way of attaching our drowning selves to a passing float. Section 5-25 One Mass Movement is as good as another For the insecure one mass movement is as good as another. Eric Hoffer is not the first to note that it is as easy to move from the far left to the far right as to move from the middle to one of the extremes. The same incongruity exists with religious believers; getting an agnostic to embrace one religion’s true god is much more difficult that getting a religious person to switch religions. Section 5-26 Stopping a Mass Movement Hoffer noted that stopping a mass movement is a matter of substituting one movement for another. 13 He also noted that accomplishing this did not come easy or cheap. When one tries to replace nationalism with a religious revitalization it is a solution which can lead down different streets than the original plans. Mistakes by U.S. officals in the Iraq War are an excellent lesson. The disbanding of the Iraqi Army was perhaps the worse mistake of this conflict for in doing this it left the rootless crowd without identification and free for association of any group promising hope and dignity. International terrorists quickly took advantage of this error. It was Hoffer who noted that migration is a movement toward a promised land of hope and one of the effective methods of stopping a mass movement.

Op. Cit. page 27.

24 Part 5 – L Initiators and Causes Initiators for the Potential Converts Section 5-27 Self Sacrifice as an Initiator and a Cause Suicide Bombers are the current example of extreme self-sacrifice. Not all suicide is a case of self sacrifice in terms of a cause and not all self sacrifice involves suicide. Many parents have sacrificed all their fondest desires and needs to improve the potentials of a child. There are two significant difficulties with this type sacrifice however. First is the parent who keeps throwing the sacrifice back in the face of the child; the second is when the sacrifice is not necessary or helpful and designed primarily to gain the sympathy or affection of the child. This is the comedic tool played in depictions of the “Jewish mother” which is by all means restricted to Jewish Mothers. Children see the ploy clearly and it backfires. Not all ploys of self sacrifice come from parents for many corporate and faulty leaders use the same ploy. Section 5-28 Wordsmiths and Gilded Tongues Hoffer’s motivations are the firewood but an initiator is required for the burning of a Rebellion in the solid mass. Creatives may start their own fire but more importantly the creative writer or speaker who has seized on a “cause” is the ultimate initiator of a rebellion for the words and thoughts must be articulated so that the mass may adopt a reason for action. Thomas Paine as a writer and Lincoln as a speaker come readily to mind in these two roles. Without thoughtful articulation the form of a rebellion may spring up as unorganized violence without result but death or destruction. The initial unorganized death of destruction of frustration of hatred may however serve as the launching point for a creative to explore. Fanatics to the Front Section 5-29 Another self starter is the single focus person who may initiate a wave that others catch. There serve better however when a creative rebel captures their drive. A basic definition of a fanatic is single focus and persistence on one cause often without the balance and human relationships that cause others to follow. Despite this deficiency

25 fanatics have there uses particularly to the totally cynical rebel leaders who use fanatics as sacrifices, front line demonstrators, or shock troops. The Workers and Doers Section 5-30 There is a category of people who must be moving and doing something. Activity not “causes” impel them. They generate few creative ideas but they find order and order in action comfortable. Germans have been maligned with this type casting yet they are no less creative than any other people. It appears that previous or current chaos impels some to follow the motto “let’s do something even though it be wrong”. There are some constructive uses of this aspect, good leadership for larger groups knows that it is sometimes more constructive to “paint rocks” than do nothing. Religiofication as an Initiator Section 5-31 The search for meaning in life is satisfied by many when they discover religion. Aside from proselytizing religions inspire rebellions under many banners aside from basic religious drives. Hope and Revenge as Initiators and Drivers Section 5-32 Hope for some is the fuel offered by ideologies both religious and secular. It is a promise that conditions will change, that a person’s life will be made meaningful, or simply that revenge will be obtained. . The optimism provided by hope is important in providing more satisfaction in life and sufficient motivation to attack impossible tasks. It is a tool that sometimes leaves a person unhappy much of the time and angry enough to harm others who they blame for their frustrations. Hope means to cultivate one's inner strengths, and move beyond negativity especially to those stuck in life. Hope combined with action, based on strategies, short-term and longterm goals are both a promise and an activator. It is the promise sold by realists and ideologues.

26 Part 5-M Ted Robert Gurr’s Approach to Motivation Section 5-33 Ted Robert Gurr - The Person and Work Gurr was a professor of Political Science at Northwester University and immediately prior to publishing his book, Why Men Rebel, he co-directed a task force of the National Commission on the Causes and Prevention of Violence. His book was deemed the best book published in the United States in 1970 on government, politics, or international affairs. It remains one of the best sources on the topic of rebellion. Gurr describes his work; “This book is an exercise in simplification of the kind known as theory-building. I will try to point out the more important uniformities in the causes of violence in politics, drawing from the work of all the human sciences. I will attempt to be precise in describing thee uniformities even at the risk of elaborating some truisms…”14 Gurr’s writings are at base academic and in his attachment to exactness he is sometimes a hard read but the advantage of thorough coverage is worth the time for any rebel desiring to increase effectiveness. Section 5-34 Relative Deprivation as an Impetus to Violence Starting with an academic seventies term “relative deprivation”, Gurr uses four chapters to categorize and outline the various values of deprivations and the origins in terms of “rising expectations” and other modalities.

Ted Robert Gurr, Why Men Rebel, Princeton University Press 1970.

The following Sections are being reworked Section 5-35 Politicization of Violence and Politics Politicization of violence secures public attention without which terrorism as a modus operandi in the cause of rebellion cannot be successful. Terrorists justify their violent course of action in the name of a common cause; in most cases the cause is religious. It is amazing what despicable acts can be done in the name of various gods. Tribalism is also a top motivator for terrorist politicization of violence. Many writers argue that the conflict and terrorism in Iraq is driven by tribalism with religion a secondary focus. Section 5-36 Force and Counter-Force The use of excessive force by a government in power can generate rebellion but the question always is determined by the qualification of the word “excessive”. Deadly force in a society of secret police and secret determination of targets of the applied excessive force can continue for long periods. Such was public perception of the suppression of Jews in Nazi Germany. Rumors persisted but the majority of the people remained in doubt about the effort to exterminate Jews in Germany and effective propaganda of the “big lie” led people to believe what they wished instead of what they feared. Counter-force by rebellion requires either outside efforts or some marginal freedom to act within the territory of the authority in power. When the force applied is considered legitimate, or can be made to appear so by propaganda, the initiative to rebel will be slight. Section 5-37 Media Role While the role of the media is in large measure perceived by most political experts as a benefit to free societies the impact of the press in rebellion or terrorism has in large measure a negative effect on the ability of the government to function. Without the press terrorism is without meaning and rebellion difficult if not impossible. The press in a democratic society is either allied with a particular political faction or opposed to the faction in power for these are the roles, other than sports and accidents which attract the most readers. In a democratic society incidents of all these types must be covered the important question however is the attitude or political philosophy of the press instrument editors to government in power.

28 Section 5-38 Outside Support or Initiation If one coup d’etat very few rebellions or uprisings succeed which lack outside support. A coup d’etat succeeds because the apparatus of the state is turned against the current head of government. When the current government has all the means of power at disposition rebellion must take advantage of outside support for press support as well as weapons.