Mental Health Corner

Liking Your Therapist

By Rabbi Azriel Hauptman

The therapeutic alliance – also known as the therapeutic relationship – has been proven by countless studies to be a better predictor of a successful outcome than the specific type of therapy that is practiced by the therapist. Does this mean that you need to like your therapist in order to have a therapeutic experience? Not necessarily.

There is no question that you must feel heard, understood, and valued by your therapist. You have to trust your therapist and be able to be open and honest with him or her. In such an environment, you will presumably like your therapist. However, at times you might experience feelings of anger or aversion towards your therapist. This is not a hindrance to therapy at all. Rather, it might be the breakthrough that you were looking for in therapy. This is due to a phenomenon known as negative transference.

Transference refers to the projection of emotions or feelings from one person onto another. In therapy, this manifests itself as subconsciously viewing the therapist as representing a figure from one’s life, especially from childhood. The client may interact with the therapist as if the therapist were that person.

Transference is a well-documented aspect of psychotherapy that was described by none other than Dr. Sigmund Freud himself. Although many of Freud’s theories have not stood the test of time, a large number of his ideas have prevailed and have become fundamental principles in psychology. Transference is one of those principles.

Transference can be positive or negative. When one experiences positive transference, the therapist might remind the client of another trusted figure from earlier in life, resulting in positive and warm feelings towards the therapist. Negative transference, on the other hand, may cause someone to feel anger towards the therapist. This can occur, for example, if the client has been betrayed in the past by someone who they thought was trustworthy. The therapist is viewed subconsciously as being in that person’s role, resulting in painful feelings directed towards the therapist.

Here is where the therapeutic alliance and negative transference, which at first glance seem as opposing forces, actually can come together and produce a therapeutic breakthrough. As the client experiences negative feelings towards the therapist, the therapeutic alliance allows the client to share this with the therapist. The resulting insight can lead to progress in therapy that would have otherwise been impossible. Without the therapeutic alliance, the client would have almost certainly denied the negative feelings, and the elephant in the room would have been ignored. The result will be a therapeutic process that does not really get anywhere.

The bottom line is that one of the benefits of the therapeutic alliance is that it allows the client to have a safe place where they can heal. You will definitely overall like going to such a therapist, considering all of the value that you are receiving. Negative feelings that you experience are not a contradiction to liking your therapist. On the contrary, your comfort level with your therapist has given you access to those thoughts and feelings. Now you are truly ready to turn the corner in your journey.

This is a service of Relief Resources. Relief is an organization that provides mental health referrals, education, and support to the frum community. Rabbi Yisrael Slansky is director of the Baltimore branch of Relief. He can be contacted at 410-448-8356 or at yslansky@ reliefhelp.org

ASK (Advanced Seminars in Kashrus) OU Summer Kashrus Training Program Provides Education for Future Kosher Certifiers

When a woman from Rabbi Mosheh Aziz’s congregation in Great Neck contacted him to ask why canned vegetables need a hechsher, he was able to provide an in-depth response, thanks to his participation in a threeweek seminar hosted by OU Kosher.

Without certification, he explained, such vegetables may have been cooked and packed on the same equipment recently in contact with pork or shellfish. In fact, he wrote, he had just witnessed a cannery package cans of pork and beans immediately before handling vegetables.

Rabbi Aziz, a pulpit rabbi at Ohr Esther Synagogue and an onsite rabbi at the Sephardic Beit Midrash Kollel, had just participated in a three-week seminar about the laws of kashrus hosted by OU Kosher, the world’s largest kosher certifying agency. The OU division recently concluded its two annual kashrus training courses: the ASK (Advanced Seminars in Kashrus) OU Summer Kashrus Training Program, in which 20 people took part in the three-week course, and a concurrent one-week training program that attracted 60 participants.

Based at the Orthodox Union’s headquarters in Manhattan, both programs aimed to demystify kashrus through seminars and hands-on instruction at field visits across the region. The programs offered participants the opportunity to learn from experts about the laws of kosher in a variety of settings, and then see the concepts in action immediately after.

“ASK OU turns participants into firsthand reporters on the laws of kosher,” said Rabbi Aziz. “This is a program for serious learners who want to see for themselves how the ‘kosher sausage’ is made.”

ASK OU was conveniently timed to coincide with many kollels’ yeshiva breaks – including participant Zvi Spiegel’s – Yeshivas Ner Yisroel in Baltimore, Md.

Spiegel said, “It’s one thing to learn about the laws of melicha (salting meat) on paper, but it’s quite another to see it in action on such a large scale. Maybe our grandparents used to have to kasher chicken themselves, but these days, no one really thinks about what it takes to make a chicken kosher, from start to finish. That’s just one example of something I’ve been learning that may have been hard to see practically otherwise.”

Other examples that participants witnessed include what it takes to perform hafrashas challah (separating and burning a section of challah or large quantities of other baked goods) at an industrial level at a pastry manufacturer, and how to analyze pasteurizers at a beverage maker.

ASK OU brought participants into the kitchens of companies across the tri-state area, including the Kedem Winery in Marlboro, N.Y.; baked goods supplier David’s Cookies in Cedar Grove, N.J.; the Empire Kosher poultry plant in Mifflintown, Pa; the Culinary Depot, a commercial restaurant equipment designer and distributor in Spring Valley, N.Y., near Monsey; and several OU-certified restaurants and caterers.

Participants came from around the world to take part in ASK OU. Some who lived nearby, such as Rabbi Aziz, commuted, while others stayed at hotels or with family members. Spiegel went to a relative’s empty apartment in Queens for the duration of the program. Another participant, Edgardo Rozenknopf, flew in from Panama City, Panama, and stayed at a hotel close to the OU.

“My expectations for this program were extremely high, and still they were exceeded,” said Rozenknopf, a mashgiach at three restaurants and a small factory in Panama. “I wanted to make sure that I’m the best mashgiach I can be, by learning from the biggest people in kosher.”

The ASK OU Summer Kashrus Training Program is sponsored by Lakewood’s Harry H. Beren Foundation, and has been offered to men and women in alternate years since its inception in the 1990s. Combined, the two programs have over 1,000 alumni, many of whom are now rabbinic coordinators at OU Kosher.

“We were pleased to be able to offer such high-level programming that even drew in international participants,” said Rabbi Menachem Genack, CEO of OU Kosher, who gave one of the program’s opening shiurim, “The State of the Orthodox Union.” “Whether they came from New York, Panama, or the Netherlands, the overwhelming feedback has been that participants were impressed with the content, rabbinic coordinators, and overall organization of the programs.”

“There is simply no other program as expansive and hands-on as ASK OU,” said Rabbi Moshe Elefant, COO and executive rabbinic coordinator of OU Kosher, who led the last session of the one-week program, “ASK the Rabbi.” “For future mashgichim, as well as anyone curious about the processes behind kosher, this is the program to take part in.”

Edgardo Rozenknopf of Rabbi Mosheh Aziz of Great Neck, N.Y. Zvi Spiegel of Baltimore, Md. Panama City, Panama

About OU Kosher

OU (Orthodox Union) Kosher is the world’s largest and most recognized kosher certification agency, certifying more than 2.2 million products produced in almost 13,000 plants located in 104 countries worldwide. Photo credit: Orthodox Union Repair and/or replace: Hot Water Tanks • Sump Pumps • Faucets • Toilets • Garbage Disposals • Instant Hots • Dish Washers • Dryers • Washing Machines • Light Fixtures • Switches • Dimmers • Outside Lighting • Fans • Timers • and more... Licensed • Bonded • Insured

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