Baltimore Jewish Home - 11-24-22

"Mesivta Shaarei Chaim shines in its ability to engage all their talmidim, encouraging them to strive for unbelievable heights, giving them a gateway to gadlus with true role models in Torah, Yiras Shamayim and Mentchlachkeit."

HaRav Pinchas Gross, Rav of Derech Chaim, Parent of Current Talmid

SORA SALTMAN & ARI OHSIE • LEAH TRAVIS & MORDY POLLAK • RIVKA KELNER & TZVI CRYSTAL • TZIPPY COOPERMAN

& ELI FARHY • TEHILLA MILLER & NETANEL GREENWALD • AVIGAYIL WEALCATCH & ANDREW BRENNER • KAYLA

LOWENTHAL & HILLEL KRAINES • SHAYNA GOLDFARB & MOSHE DRUKMAN • ATARA PEAR & MATAN ALPER • ESTI

BRILLIANT & DOVID KLUGMAN • GOLDIE GOLDMAN & AHARON DOV LEVY • MIRI REITBERGER & LEVI AKKERMAN

MALKY HOCHBERG & YITZI FELDMAN • LEAH WOLF & SHIMON DEUTCH • SHANI GEWIRTZ & ELAN PERCHIK • ELISHEVA

POLLAK & MEIR DOVID STEINBRECHER • CHAVI KATZ & CHAIM GRAYMAN • CHAYA HOLLANDER & ZE'EV STEINBERG

YAFFA LEAH STERN & REUVEN ROTHENBERG • ELIANNA RACZKOWSKI & ELTZAFAN MARK • RIVKA SCHELLENBERG & AVI

LENCZ • CHAVA FRAND & YAAKOV MERKIN • BECCA BLAVIN & CHAIBY LEIMAN • NAAMA ARNORD & MALKIEL ISHAKOV

SHEVI MILIKOWSKY & MOISHE ROSENSTEIN • CHANA PEREL LENCZ & DANIEL STEINMAN • SHAINDY TUCHINSKY &

BENYONIM FELDMAN • RIKKI KAHN & BINYOMIN STERN • CHAVI CAINE & YAAKOV DAVIDOWITZ

SARA GAYLER & MICHAEL KAHANA

BRACHA LACHMAN & MEIR PEIKES • SIVI FEINSTEIN & MORDECHAI JAEGER

ESTHER NIKNAVAH & GERSHON GROSSMAN

TEMIMA GOLDFEDER & YOSEF BACKER • SHIFFIE GROSS & SAADIA SCHNEIDER

MIRIAM WAXMAN & ADAM LOMBARDO

AVIVA SCHWARTZ & REUVEN TYLER • SHOSHANA LOWENTHAL & AVRAHAM CHAIM

Dear Readers,

Fall 2022- Fact & Opinion

Fact: Crowdfunding campaigns have revolutionized fundraising within schools, shuls, and organizations.

Opinion: Administrators of these institutions have a broader network of supporters, but overall weaker personal relationships with their core base of donors.

Fact: Baltimore currently has over ten Yeshiva Godolah’s (High Schools and Bais Medrash).

Opinion: The growth of the Baltimore community can easily be attributed to the impact of Ner Israel and the vision of Rabbi Naftali Neuberger ZT”L and the Rosh HaYeshiva, HaRav Yaakov Yitzchok Ruderman ZT”L.

Fact: Lakewood continues to grow exponentially, with neighboring townships filling fast. They’ve built such a strong infrastructure that allows for stacking growth.

Opinion: In contrast, Baltimore still maintains its small town feel but has managed to create a vibrant community structure in its own right.

Fact: While Baltimore lacks new housing options and new construction-based developments, there are plenty of surrounding neighborhoods with really solid options for those looking to settle here.

Opinion: Now that the Erev has expanded, the Green Gate neighborhood is beautiful and has no shortage of great housing options.

Fact: Baltimore barely has a spring, and summers are brutal. Winters are tolerable, but fall is splendid.

Opinion: Over the past years the seasons have been shifting, with November becoming warmer and April cooler.

Fact: The cost of living has skyrocketed with rising costs in all core major expense categories.

Opinion: It’s unsustainable for families to continue to live with their current comforts. As always the consumers bear the brunt of inflation.

Fact: Baltimore City has some of the highest taxes in the state with very few tangible benefits.

Opinion: Between busing, school vouchers, lower taxes etc., the time is now to figure out how to help our families supplement their income with programs that actually benefit us. It CAN be done.

Fact: A Thanksgiving meal for a family of 10 has risen 20% to $64 (that’s for the entire family, not an individual!).

Opinion: We had 21 “Thanksgiving” meals from the beginning of Rosh Hoshana through Simchas Torah. $64 gets us to the first course of just one meal!

Aaron Menachem

SORA SALTMAN & ARI OHSIE • LEAH TRAVIS & MORDY POLLAK • RIVKA KELNER & TZVI CRYSTAL • TZIPPY COOPERMAN

& ELI FARHY • TEHILLA MILLER & NETANEL GREENWALD • AVIGAYIL WEALCATCH & ANDREW BRENNER • KAYLA

LOWENTHAL & HILLEL KRAINES • SHAYNA GOLDFARB & MOSHE DRUKMAN • ATARA PEAR & MATAN ALPER • ESTI

BRILLIANT & DOVID KLUGMAN • GOLDIE GOLDMAN & AHARON DOV LEVY • MIRI REITBERGER & LEVI AKKERMAN

MALKY HOCHBERG & YITZI FELDMAN • LEAH WOLF & SHIMON DEUTCH • SHANI GEWIRTZ & ELAN PERCHIK • ELISHEVA

POLLAK & MEIR DOVID STEINBRECHER • CHAVI KATZ & CHAIM GRAYMAN • CHAYA HOLLANDER & ZE'EV STEINBERG

YAFFA LEAH STERN & REUVEN ROTHENBERG • ELIANNA RACZKOWSKI & ELTZAFAN MARK • RIVKA SCHELLENBERG & AVI

LENCZ • CHAVA FRAND & YAAKOV MERKIN • BECCA BLAVIN & CHAIBY LEIMAN • NAAMA ARNORD & MALKIEL ISHAKOV

SHEVI MILIKOWSKY & MOISHE ROSENSTEIN • CHANA PEREL LENCZ & DANIEL STEINMAN • SHAINDY TUCHINSKY &

BENYONIM FELDMAN • RIKKI KAHN & BINYOMIN STERN • CHAVI CAINE & YAAKOV DAVIDOWITZ

SARA GAYLER & MICHAEL KAHANA

BRACHA LACHMAN & MEIR PEIKES • SIVI FEINSTEIN & MORDECHAI JAEGER

ESTHER NIKNAVAH & GERSHON GROSSMAN

TEMIMA GOLDFEDER & YOSEF BACKER

SHIFFIE GROSS & SAADIA SCHNEIDER

MIRIAM WAXMAN & ADAM LOMBARDO

& REUVEN

SHOSHANA

2 Members of the Baltimore Jewish Community Appointed Baltimore City Police

It is with great pride that Eliezer Skaist and Shloime Rabinowitz were each appointed as Chaplains of the Baltimore City Police Dept. The ceremony took place at the Baltimore City Police Training Center. In attendance among many others were Rabbi Chesky Tenenbaum, Police Commissioner Michael Harrison shown here with the 2 new graduates of the police Chaplaincy program.

The Worldwide Shabbat Project Strikes Again

By: BJLife/Leah Sacket and Yael Zelinger Photo credits: Leah Sackett & Lolly Friedman

Jewish women have special power as the makers and shakers, developers and the CEOs of the Jewish home. At the Great Community Challah Bake, hosted by Etz Chaim under the leadership of Mrs. Elana Pomeranz, 300 women from across Jewish Baltimore fused together while making challah dough from scratch, praying for each other, dancing together and finally braiding beautiful challot for Shabbat. The energy and potential of so many Jewish women and girls gathering to make challah together was incredible!

Thanks to Etz Chaim, this was the first community Challah Bake in three years and the ruach that filled the room was remarkable! Liz Mink en Friedman emceed the event. The excitement of the night grew as Rab bi Warren Goldstein, founder of the Shabbat Project, addressed the crowd

on a pre-recorded video. When Liz instructed, “Table captains, take it away!” each table got to work mixing and kneading the ingredients, led by their fearless table captains.

Women and girls from different ends of Baltimore, who belong to dif ferent shuls and schools, laughed and shared the experience together. Moth er and daughters, grandmothers and granddaughters, old friends and even many new friends bonded over the fun of getting dirty and preparing the sticky dough.

Three inspiring women, Jesse Cleveland, Syndi Saltzman and Jes

sica Fink, spoke about how Shabbat, Candle Lighting and Challah has im pacted their lives in a positive and powerful way. Jacyln Sova recited a poem she wrote for her Beth Tfiloh students Shabbaton.

Jaclyn continued to speak about the Mitzvah of Hafrashat Challah. We separate a piece of the challah, burn it and throw it away to acknowledge that although we are so proud of the accomplishment we feel as we look at our beautiful dough, and the pride we feel with any other accomplish ment from our week, we always need to acknowledge that we could not do it alone. Taking a piece of the challah helps us remember that in everything we do and all we accomplish, we couldn’t achieve Hashem’s help. This is what Shabbos is all about: recon necting and rerouting our GPS back to Hashem.

With the lights dimmed, Jesse Cleveland made the bracha of ha frashat challah on a 5 pound batch of

dough while the crowd closed their eyes in silent prayer, invoking Hash em to help those in need.

Suddenly, the lights turned on and a brand new song composed and sung by Lolly Friedman, “I Say Thank You to You” blared from the speakers. An enthusiastic flash mob appeared and slowly the crowd descended on the spacious dance floor! Circles, lines and trains formed as the women and girls of Baltimore joined together in energetic dancing. Pants and skirts blended in spontaneous choreography while the dough rose.

Just like the strands of dough were braided together into challah loaves, the women and girls joined together to form sweet bonds of Jewish connec tion.

This year’s challah bake was spon sored as a merit for the complete re covery of Reuven Nechemia Yisroel ben Malka.

Community-Wide Siyum on Seder Zeraim

On Motzei Shabbos, November 19th, Mercaz Torah U’Tefillah hosted a community-wide Mishna Yomi Siyum on Seder Zeraim. Begun in 1947, the Mishna Yomi cycle consists of learning 2 Mishnayos every day. Now in its 14th cycle, there are more people than ever learning Mishna Yomi so the opportunity was ripe to make a grand Siyum celebrating the completion of the 1st Seder in the cycle, Seder Zeraim.

The initiative of a community-wide Siyum was taken on by Dr. Yossi Scheller, who has been promoting the learning of Mishnayos for many years amongst both adults and boys. Over 100 men and boys participated in the Siyum, which took place in the Mer caz Torah U’Tefillah Beis Medrash. With beautiful décor, 3 course meal and a mini orchestra, this Siyum was one to remember. The mesymim were graced by Divrei Torah from the Mara D’Asra Rav Yissochor Dov Eichen stein Shlit”a, as well as Rabbi Akiva Feldman Shlit”a, Rav of Ohel Yaakov, who was the guest speaker. Dr. Schell er shared a few remarks as well, and made the Hadran.

Beyond familiarizing yourself with all of Shisha Sidrei Mishna, Mishna

Yomi provides a framework for regu lar learning of fathers and sons togeth er. It also gives you something easy to review whenever you have a few spare minutes, such as standing in line or

waiting for an appointment. Now with Seder Moed having just started last Thursday, we hope many more people will join this wonderful program!

Photo Credit: Shlomo Rotberg/Cre ative1080

This is Yachad.

For 40 years, Yachad has been creating a world where every single Jew – regardless of ability – has a place in the community. And can get the support they need to succeed in school.

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Baltimore Celebrates the Completion of Kesser Torah’s New Bais Medrash

On Sunday, November 13th Kesser Torah (KT) invited the entire Baltimore community to its campus to celebrate in the Chanukas Habayis of its new Bais Medrash. The yeshiva was joined by hundreds of community members as well as local rabbonim and Gedolei Roshei Yeshiva of America. The purpose of the evening was to give shevach to Hakadosh Baruh Hu for the overflowing Siyata d’Shamaya that has allowed KT to grow into a yeshiva of over 130 bochurim on a 40+ acre campus in just six short years.

The evening began with a recep tion for the many members of the community who have generously part nered with the yeshiva to aid in the renovations required to turn a mon astery into a Makom Torah. Follow ing the reception, hundreds headed to the new Bais Medrash where Divrei Bracha from Rav Ahron Feldman, Shlit”a (Rosh Yeshiva, Ner Yisroel); Rav Dovid Schustal, Shlit’a (Rosh Ye shiva, BMG), and Rav Chaim Mintz, Shlit”a (Mashgiach, MTJ of Staten Is land) and Rav Yaakov Hopfer, Shlit”a (Mora D’Asra, Shearith Israel). Addi tionally, a video presenting messages from Rav Yisroel Meir Kagan, Shlit”a and Harav Yitzchok Wasserman, Shlit”a (Roshei HaYeshiva of Yeshiva Toras Chaim of Denver) and Rav Yosef Eichenstein, Shlit”a (Rosh Yeshiva of

RJJ Edison) as well as local rabbonim and askanim. Additionally, communi ty members heard Divrei Bracha and Torah from members of the hanhala of KT, including: Rav Tzvi Mordechai Feldheim, Shlit”a (Rosh Mesivta); Rav Nosson Newman, Shlit”a; (Rosh Yeshiva) and Rav Avrohom Feldheim, Shlit”a (Menahel).

The theme of many of the speeches

focused on how KT adds an addition al jewel to the crown of the Baltimore Jewish community. BH, as the com munity grows, there has been a need to add additional mosdos. KT has stepped up to the task, allowing Bal timore bochurim to grow by leaps and bounds in Torah and Yiras Shamayim.

Rav Avrohom Feldheim shared words of Hakaras Hatov for all those

who assisted in making the new Bais Medrash possible, both financially and with their time.

Following the events, the Sifrei To rah of the yeshiva were brought to the new Bais Medrash amidst dancing and a true show of Kavod HaTorah.

Baltimore is truly blessed to count Kesser Torah among its mosdos haTo rah.

Chumash Mesiba at Yeshivas Toras Simcha

Rabbi Dovid Tessler’s 1st grade class celebrated receiving their Chumashim at Yeshivas Torah Simcha, Baltimore. The boys excitedly sang songs and demonstrated their skill at understanding the beginning of Parshas Breishis. Rabbi Hillel Mandel, menahel, and Rabbi Tessler presented each boy with his own Chumash. The fathers, zaidas, and siblings danced following the presentation. Refreshments were also enjoyed by all of the families.

Photos by: Dovid Kapenstein

Photo Credit: Jeff Cohn

A New Collection of Stories from Rabbi Paysach Krohn!

In The Grandeur of the Maggid, Rabbi Paysach Krohn outdoes himself, bringing us true stories that elevate as they entertain, that illuminate as they inspire. He finds the grandeur in the lives of ordinary Jews — because he knows there is no such thing as an “ordinary” Jew!

You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll be amazed and be inspired, as Rabbi Krohn shares great stories — and speaks to our very souls.

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Historic Event in Baltimore - Semichas Chaver Presents in-Person: Hagaon Rav Hershel Schachter and Rishon Le’Tzion Harav Shlomo Amar

Photo Credits: Jeff Cohn

Beth Tfiloh’s Tribute to Cantor Albrecht/Laniado Benefit Concert – A Resounding Success!

Twelve-hundred attendees joined in paying tribute to an outstanding chazzan and an even more outstanding mensch, Cantor Avi Albrecht, as he will be retiring from Beth Tfiloh at the end of this year. Community leaders, Rabbis, and local, state, and federal elected officials gathered together for an evening of tribute and song. Wanting to connect his farewell event to a mitzvah, Cantor Albrecht partnered with Laniado Hospital so that all proceeds would benefit their new ICU.

After an incredible presentation about Laniado’s life-saving work in Israel and a heartfelt tribute to Cantor Albrecht, the concert featuring Can tori, the new trio of Cantor Albrecht, Yoni Rose, and Benny Warschawski took the stage.

The trio dazzled the audience with their beautiful melodies and creative showmanship and storyline. A blend of classic songs were sung with a twist in the rhythms, musical accompani

ment, and vocals. Those in attendance laughed, cheered and were moved by the various songs.

Following the finally and standing ovation, an elegant gala dessert re ception with an assortment of hot and cold dishes and pastries were enjoyed by all.

Cantor Albrecht has spent 27 years dedicated to Beth Tfiloh and his leg acy and impact will be felt for many more years to come.

Laniado is grateful to the hard working committee, the generous sponsors and donors, and all those who attended this beautiful event! Thank you to Cantor Albrecht, his family, and the entire Beth Tfiloh community!

Event videos and photos are avail able at www.chaztribute.com. Photo credit: Arielle Strum Photography.

Mercaz Torah U’Tefillah Night Seder Program for Middle School Boys

Mercaz Torah U’Tefillah hosts a Night Seder program for Middle School boys from across the community, 3 nights a week. Now in its 5th year, the program is lead by Rabbi Michoel Berkowitz of TA and Rabbi Dovid Naiman of TI.

The goal of the program is to cre ate a framework for boys to review the

Gemara they are learning in school. Many boys cannot learn with their fa thers on a regular basis for various rea sons, and even those fathers who have the time and are capable of learning often find it challenging to review the Gemara with their sons because they may not be holding in the Sugya and don’t know how the Rebbe explained it in class. This program brings the

boys together to learn with a Chavru sa, and the Rebbeim are available to talk in learning and answer any ques tions.

B”H the program has been wild ly successful, with hundreds of boys benefiting from it since its inception. The effectiveness of this approach has been demonstrated by the feedback received which indicates boys’ grades

have improved as a result of the pro gram, and the boys carry a sense of price in their learning accomplish ments. It is wonderful to see how this pioneering program has been brought to other Shuls in town, servicing even more boys in our growing community!

An added benefit of the program is how it promotes Achdus by bringing together boys from different schools. As the oldest class of Yeshivas Toras Simcha is already in Middle School, you can now find boys from TA, TI and YTS learning together all under one roof.

Photo Credits: Rabbi Elchanan Ciment

Bais Yaakov High School of Baltimore Discovery Program

By: Esther Gittel Edelson

What is Discovery

The stage is dec orated as though for a concert: a long sign draped across it reading, “ON A HAPPY NOTE,” along with an appropriate quote from Hebrew liturgy, golden music notes hanging from the ceiling, the curtain backdrop glowing with blue light. The music begins – a cheerful, upbeat song with a bouncy rhythm. The au dience claps and cheers as excitement mounts. Out of four giant rings of styl ized piano keys step four young ladies in poufy tulle skirts. They begin to dance across the stage, twirling, jump ing, linking hands…

This is no ordinary performance. This is the opening activity of the Dis covery program at Bais Yaakov High School of Baltimore. The program runs each year on Hebrew Fridays (the school alternates between Torah and general studies, as it is a shorter day), and is dedicated to exploring different essential values and character traits that the students might incorporate and improve upon in their lives.

Mrs. Yehudis Feldman is the fac ulty advisor to the program, and this year, Esti Kramer, Chaya Blima Ely, Toby Meth, and Sara Barr are the se lect group of seniors who run it. To gether, they brainstorm how to present the year’s theme to the student body in a manner that is both fun and inspi rational. This year’s theme is Simcha/ Happiness, and the initial song and dance presentation they prepared was a beautiful start to what promises to be an exciting and meaningful program.

After the presentation, the program kicks off with an anonymous survey:

On a scale of 1-10 how would you rate your level of Simcha?

Who in your life do you think epit omizes Simcha? Why?

Why do you think happiness is so hard to achieve?

This is only a sampling of the ques tions given to the girls for consider ation. The survey is designed to give the students a preview of the aspects of the theme that will be discussed throughout the year, to help them de velop an awareness of which aspects might present a particular challenge to them, and to elicit feedback that will

be considered in determining the most effective way to present aspects of the trait of Simcha/Happiness going for ward. As the allotted time slot draws to a close, the girls are treated to a de licious snack and go back to class ex cited, invigorated, and inspired.

Origins

Two teachers, Rebbetzin Miriam Heinemann and Rebbetzin Shlomis Eisenberg (a”h), first brainstormed the Discovery program around 16 years ago.

“They wanted to bring the ‘flavor’ of Yiddishkeit to the girls,” Mrs. Feld man says. “The goal was to show the beauty and joy in it. Mitzvos aren’t a burden – they are a privilege.”

So the first year’s theme was “Ve hiyisem li segula mikol ha’amim” –the concept of being the Chosen Na tion. This was explained through the device of contemplating a truffle – a rare and expensive mushroom with a delicate and prized flavor – as a met aphor for how precious and beloved we are to Hashem. The program con tinued to present the concept of ele vation and refinement in all aspects of the students’ lives: elevating one’s eating by saying brachos (blessings) and answering Amen, elevating one’s speech by speaking in a refined and re spectful way, and elevating the music one chooses by only listening to songs that are appropriate in tone and mes sage. The theme closed on a high note, stressing a personal connection to Hashem through tefillah. It was wildly successful.

The following year, they decided on a different theme: Kavod – Honor/ Respect. Aspects included respect for teachers, honoring parents, respect among friends, and self-respect, cul minating in the concept of Kavod Sha mayim – honoring Hashem.

The third year, the theme of Emes/ Truth brought home issues like true friendship, honesty in financial deal ings, avoiding exaggeration, and being true to oneself.

And the fourth year’s theme was Simcha/Happiness, completing what became a four-year cycle.

Needs of the Generation

In this day and age, when the sur rounding culture is steeped in unbri dled narcissism, how does one con vince a teenager to engage in genuine

self-reflection, with the ultimate goal of self-improvement?

“The program is 100% non-threat ening,” Mrs. Feldman explains. “We don’t lecture.”

“It relieves the stress of school,” says Rena Miriam Steger, 10th grader. “It’s nice to have something to think about besides schoolwork.”

The student committee spends a significant amount of time on Thurs day nights at school, preparing for the presentations and making sure the costumes and decorations are engag ing, aesthetically pleasing, and suited to whatever aspect of the theme will be focused on the following day.

“When things are presented prop erly, it conveys chashivus – impor tance,” Mrs. Feldman explains. “It’s not necessarily fancy, but it has to have a professional look, an inviting look.”

They definitely manage to achieve that, and in ways that don’t break the bank. Balloons, posterboard frames and lettering, cleverly draped fabric, and even hanging egg chairs borrowed from yards create a fun, enticing mi lieu. Costumes include previously mentioned tulle skirts, items from the school’s Production stash, and dressup clothes from home.

“I really appreciate the connection [of the theme] with the decorations they do,” comments Dassi, 11th grader.

The activities are cute, sometimes hilarious, and let the intended les son speak for itself. One of the most

poignant and effective activities held during the “Chosen Nation” year of the cycle concerned elevating the clothing one wears. In the four rounds of the game, the four students in the Dis covery committee dressed in different types of ensembles: high school girls in uniform, in Shabbos clothes, and in camp clothes, and as mothers. The au dience was asked questions like:

Who seems most likely to go mud-sliding with their kids in the rain?

Who seems most likely to live in Meah She’arim (a Hareidi neighbor hood in Jerusalem)?

Who seems most likely to be a teacher one day?

Who seems most likely to study for a test the night before? Who the week in advance?

Who seems most likely to have their Shabbos food prepared by Thurs day night?

Who seems most likely to snooze their alarm clock a few times before getting out of bed?

Point well taken.

An activity held during the “Emes/ Truth” year brought to life the con cept of “seeing the complete picture” by showing a zoomed-in photo of a part of a common household item and asking the girls to guess what the item was. It brought home the necessity to convey complete and honest informa tion when we speak.

The program also invites speakers to address many of the presentations. The students have heard words of

encouragement and inspiration from prominent community leaders such as Rabbi Aharon Feldman (Rosh Yeshi va of Ner Israel), Rabbi Dovid Heber (Rav of Khal Ahavas Yisrael Tzemach Tzedek), Rabbi Yosef Berger (Rav of Khal Kol Torah), Rabbi Shmuel Silber (Rav of Suburban Orthodox Congregation), and internationally renowned author and storyteller (and Bais Yaakov High School parent) Rab bi Yechiel Spero, among others. Other community members came to share valuable life experience, ranging from discovering Judaism for the first time to thriving through adversity. In one presentation of the Emes/Truth theme, Rena Lipsky, a Bais Yaakov and semi nary graduate, spoke about her experi ences encountering true friendship. In another, Mrs. Dena Schneider, a moth er of a very large family, bli ayin hara, discussed her journey from aspiring career woman to embracing mother hood as her “true self”. Mrs. Shifra Rabenstein, Mrs. Yehudis Hexter, and Mrs. Laure Gutman, a”h, have also shared their powerful stories. At times, Mrs. Feldman herself has a message to deliver to the students.

“Mrs. Feldman is an amazing speaker,” Dassi says. “She really speaks from the heart.”

When people share their own spir itual journeys, it makes the concept of self-improvement relatable and – more importantly, perhaps – attainable.

Technology

Technology has become a major challenge in the past few years, as on line content has become more easily accessible - and more harmful - than ever. Many teens have personal devic es, and studies have shown that engag

ing with those devices detracts from time that would otherwise be spent engaging with friends, family, and other purposeful pursuits. According to the data, excessive online engage ment negatively impacts relation ships, school performance, and mental health.

Through the Discovery program, Bais Yaakov addresses this issue headon. The entire month of Nissan is de voted to encouraging the students to free themselves of technology’s addic tive hold. According to Rabbi Zweig, principal of Bais Yaakov High School, this is the most anticipated part of the program. Mrs. Feldman agrees. “It’s completely voluntary,” she notes, “and widely embraced.”

This segment of the program is, like the others, introduced through fun, themed activities, audio-visual presen tations, or powerfully illustrative stage displays. In one such display entitled “Disconnect to Reconnect,” a girl sits in one hanging frame and is shown to be using an electronic device. In an other frame, another girl sits alone in a kitchen. In a third frame, two girls are sitting on a bench, happily engag ing with each other without a device in sight.

After the introduction, a calendar is distributed to the students to track their participation. Each calendar day has three check boxes. The first box may be checked off if the student completely refrains from use of any device - smartphone, tablet, or com puter - for one hour of out-of-school time that each student chooses for her self. In addition, the student’s phone must be shut off by 12:30 AM and put in a public place. The second box may

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be checked if the student refrains from going on social media and watching any secular movies or shows, and lim its herself to 40 minutes of shopping online for the entire day. The third box may be checked if the student refrains from texting or using WhatsApp for the entire day.

Accumulated checks earn the stu dent tickets to a raffle at the end of the program, in which one girl from each grade wins an exemption from one final exam. In addition, those who participated and accumulated at least twenty checks may participate in a trip that takes place at the end of the program during school hours, usually lasts a full day, and is heavily subsi dized by Bais Yaakov PTA and oth ers. Trips have included Adventure Park USA, ZavaZone, the Coco Keys indoor water park, and Round Top Mountain Resort.

“The technology program was a big help for me,” says Basya Sora Bit man, 11th grader. “There’s a really big goal of a free final, and you don’t have to be perfect at it – you can work at it at your own pace. I have really been able to move away from technology because of this program.”

Dassi shares: “Two years ago I worked on taking apps off my phone. Last year I took more apps off, and worked on screen time. It’s such a freeing experience – I have more time on my hands. And because it’s only one month, it’s attainable.”Mrs. Feldman shares that the girls leave the introductory event with calendars in hand and a strong sense of mission that transcends the school walls. Even without the incentive of the raffle and trip, she has heard from graduates who continue to participate in the program through their seminary year and be yond. It’s also not unusual for mothers to participate in the program alongside their daughters. One mother even quit Instagram entirely because of the pro gram.

Impact

The vast majority of the students eagerly participate in and benefit from the Discovery program. Lives have been changed in big ways and small, both through the year-long program in general and through the Technology segment in Nissan.

“I’ve gained a lot of skills in gen eral, midos-wise, because there are specific things you work on at a time,”

Basya Sora says. “I really have time to focus on it, and they’re right there with us, helping us out with announcements and reminders. Also, doing it with my friends, I can really start to work on it in a small way and then build it up.”

Some students are surprised by what they learn. Nechama Bulka, 11th grader, elaborates: “Last year when we talked about Emes, we learned about things you wouldn’t necessar ily think have to do with emes,” she says. “Like, exaggeration is not emes. I didn’t realize.”

Even during Covid, when school was closed, there was a massive amount of participation via phone and Zoom. At the end of that year’s technology program, instead of a trip, they held a drive-by event and gave out specially printed sweatshirts to the participants.

But what of those students who are not “joiners,” who may have a more skeptical attitude, or just prefer to sit on the sidelines and avoid the action? Mrs. Feldman is sure that the effects of the program reach even them, as they observe and absorb the content. “We ‘pack their suitcases’,” she says. “At some point in their life, they’ll take some of these lessons and apply them when they need them.”

As a case in point, Chana B., 11th grader, describes her personal evolu tion on the technology program.

“In 9th grade, I was really against it,” she says. “I didn’t see the point. But as time went on, it changed my outlook on technology in general. I’m not as obsessed with it as I was. I hope to continue to manage my use of tech nology, and come to a point where I manage it really well.”

Is it worthwhile, I wonder, to sacri fice so much class time for this extra curricular program?

When Rena Miriam discussed the program with friends, they concluded that the fact that the school devotes such a large amount of time for Dis covery during what would otherwise be class time shows how important it is.

Both Rabbi Zweig and Mrs. Feld man agree that some things are better learned outside the classroom than inside. And presenting Jewish values in a format that radiates positivity, en couragement, and love is well worth giving up class time.

To that end, the time and energy

Mrs. Feldman and the committee put into making sure all elements of the Discovery program come together just right is enormous. Mrs. Feldman spends a lot of out-of-school time, in addition to preparing for her regular classes, brainstorming, guiding, and troubleshooting for the program.

“Every year, I rethink doing it,” Mrs. Feldman admits. “It is extracur ricular, and it takes a lot of time. But I’m so passionate about sharing these concepts… I can’t stop!”

And the rewards are apparent. Dassi is enthusiastic about Discov ery. “They’re life lessons that are re ally applicable,” she tells me. “[Mrs. Feldman and the committee] are on the ball about what’s going on in a high school girl’s perspective. They really cater to different backgrounds and where people are on the ladder.”

“My favorite part of the program is getting to know myself better,” says Chana B. “I discovered a lot about myself, and it helped me grow and get closer to Hashem.”

“It’s no wonder,” Rabbi Zweig muses, “that for students, being voted

in by grademates for Discovery lead ership is such a coveted opportunity. Discovery adds rich color and a degree of real splendor that greatly enrich Bais Yaakov High School life.”

There are high expectations for Discovery this year.

Dassi and Nechama look forward to “a deep dive into what simcha is” and “how to attain true happiness.”

“I don’t struggle in Simcha so much,” Basya Sora muses, “but if there’s one thing, I do have a hard time being happy when it’s tough. I hope to learn to feel that Simcha when it’s not naturally there.”

“I’m looking forward to it, because it’s hard to know what true happiness is,” Chana B. shares. “The small times of happiness, when I feel content – is it real, or am I just trying to fill myself with something more? I want to learn how to be a truly happy person.”

And can Simcha improve relation ships? “I’ve gained so much insight on how to communicate with friends bet ter,” says Rena Miriam. “I’m looking forward to more of that.”

What made you choose a career in community service?

I am the youngest in a Chabad family with 12 siblings. All of us serve, in some capacity or another, in public life. I grew up in a home where my parents serve as leaders of their community and dedicate their lives to inspiring all those around them. They are inspired daily by the vision of the Lubavitcher Rebbe to be a Torah Torch that not only gives off the light of Yiddishkeit but lights up others who will then, in turn, continue to pass on the light of Yiddishkeit even further. Growing up in that environment, how could I not choose this life?

You work alongside educators.

How do you see your role?

Chazal tell us that “Greater is the one who helps others do, than the one who does himself.” I may not be the educator, but I find it very rewarding to know that my work helps not only parents send their kids to our school, but also helps our Rebbis and Moros do their jobs with dedication. My job is to help give our students pride in their attendance at our school. This has an everlasting impact.

What makes Cheder Chabad unique?

Baltimore is a city which is a bea con of Torah and Yiddishkeit. It boasts multiple schools, shuls, and chesed or ganizations. Each one stands out in its own way. Cheder Chabad is unique in a very special way. It’s not just a To rah institution with a unique Chinuch method. Cheder Chabad is raising stu dents with the attitude that whatever the future holds for them, they will be soldiers on the front lines of Yiddish keit. They will look around and share, teach, and inspire their fellow Jews.

When I was a child in Cleveland, OH, there was an interesting fellow from the Telsher Yeshiva who would

sing a song he wrote to the tune of “Hashem is here, Hashem is there etc.” but his words were “Lubavitch is here, Lubavitch is there.”

One stanza went: “Every single Jewish child is a dia mond, you got to just dig them up and find them, shine them, grind them, and design them, and teach them to be a Torah Jew.”

This is a motto that so many people associate with Chabad Lubavitch. But that is an error. It’s the motto for every Jew. We want every one of our stu dents, regardless of their background or future to have that responsibility that the Rebbe placed upon every sin gle person.

From where do your students come?

Our student body is made up of many types of backgrounds. Some are children of nearby and not-so-nearby Shluchim. Some have Chabad parents in the workforce. Some are parents that are not Chabad at all but come to our school because they feel the circle of warmth that brings people in. Some of our students are first generation frum, and the first in their families to

receive a Torah and Chassidic educa tion in their primary years.

Tell us about your upcoming fundraiser.

Seventy-five percent of our stu dents are on adjusted tuition scholar ships. This places a great burden on the school to provide the services that we do. Whether it is providing salaries to our teaching staff or special education providers, extra-curricular activities or our newly opened ABA classroom through Blue Ribbon, the success of our campaign is vital. When you donate, you are helping provide the greatest influence on the future frontline soldiers of Yiddishkeit.

Last Shabbos was the annual Ki nus HaShluchim which so many peo ple tuned into. Many are in awe of the work of the Shluchim, even those who don’t call themselves Chabad. Cheder Chabad is the breeding ground for this message.

When is your campaign and how can someone donate?

Our campaign will be Tuesday and Wednesday 11/29-11/30 and you can donate at www.causematch.com/ched er5783

Rabbi Elchonon Chaikin - Cheder Chabad

Bibi Wins in Olmert Trial

Even by the often toxic stan dards of Israeli political discourse there are limits, a judge ruled Mon day, awarding damages to the newly designated prime minister of Israel, Benjamin Netanyahu, and mem bers of his family in a libel suit they brought against another former prime minister, Ehud Olmert, who had described them as being “men tally ill.”

The ruling brought an end to a lurid and at times circuslike court room drama during which Olmert brought witnesses to testify about disturbing goings-on in the Net anyahu household, including accu sations of afflictions such as eating disorders, obsessive-compulsive be havior, narcissism, and paranoia.

ing the suit, the harsh statements made by Mr. Olmert received wide exposure and were brought to the attention of the entire public,” Ol mert’s lawyer, Amir Tytunovich said in a statement. “The Netanyahu family, who turned to the court in the hope of receiving a ‘certificate of sanity,’ came out without one,” he added.

The two sides have up to 60 days to appeal the outcome. (© The New York Times)

Azerbaijan to Open Embassy

The Azerbaijani parliament on Friday approved a proposal to open an embassy in Israel. It will be the first Shi’ite Muslim country to do so.

Prime Minister Yair Lapid wel comed the move. “Azerbaijan is an im portant partner of Israel and home to one of the largest Jewish communities in the Muslim world,” he said.

“The decision to open an embassy reflects the depth of the relationship between our countries. This move is the result of the Israeli government’s efforts to build strong diplomatic bridges with the Muslim world,” he said.

Israel has had an embassy in Baku since 1992.

Netanyahu has reached a compromise with Religious Zionist party leader Bezalel Smotrich in their stalled co alition talks, with Smotrich agreeing to give up his demand to be defense minister and instead take over the Treasury.

The defense portfolio will remain with Netanyahu’s Likud party.

Under the proposed compromise, which has yet to be confirmed by the parties, Smotrich would gain control of the Finance Ministry, while the oth er main contender for that job —Aryeh Deri of Shas — will get the Interior Ministry.

Moshe Arbel has in the meantime drafted a bill to change clause six of Basic Law: Government, which would allow those who were given suspend ed sentences to receive ministerial ap pointments.

In addition, the post of acting prime minister is by law only available to those who are in the same party as the prime minister, requiring more legislation to open the position for Deri, Channel 12 said.

Deri previously served 22 months in prison from 2000 to 2002. That ver dict carried a conviction of moral tur pitude, keeping him out of politics for seven years after his release. In 2013, he returned to politics, reclaiming the leadership of Shas and ultimately re turning to serve as interior minister from 2016 until last year, when his party entered the opposition. A court had ruled that his prior conviction did not disqualify him from the position.

But, according to the judge, Amit Yariv, despite all the hours of testi mony, Olmert failed to establish or produce any professional medical diagnosis to back up his assertions and had gone beyond the bounds of expressing an opinion in good faith that would be protected by the prin ciples of free speech. The judge ruled that Olmert had defamed Netanyahu; Netanyahu’s wife, Sara; and their el dest son, Yair, in a television interview that Olmert gave around the time of a bitter and inconclusive election in the spring of 2021.

“Another mendacious plot against Prime Minister Netanyahu, his wife and family has been shattered,” Yossi Cohen, the Netanyahus’ lawyer, said in a statement after the ruling, which was broadcast live.

The Netanyahus had demanded about $250,000 in damages but were awarded $18,000 in total.

“The final result is that by serv

The Azeri decision reflects its close ties with Israel — particularly in the fields of security and trade — and its increasingly strained ties with Iran.

Earlier this week, Azerbaijan said it arrested five of its nationals for spy ing for Iran after a rise in tensions between the neighbors. The arrests came a week after Baku and Tehran accused each other of hostile rhetoric.

Iran, home to millions of ethnic Azeris, has long accused its smaller northern neighbor of fueling separat ist sentiment on its territory.

Last month, Defense Minister Ben ny Gantz held an official visit to Azer baijan, where he met with his Azeri counterpart, Zakir Hasanov, and the country’s President Ilham Aliyev.

Smotrich Will Get Finance Post

Prime Minister-elect Benjamin

A report by the Kan public broad caster suggests that Deri would re ceive a “super ministry” that would effectively combine the Interior Min istry and Transportation Ministry into one office — to make up for losing out on the finance minister job.

Shas would also receive the Ne gev and Galilee Ministry. According to Kan, Shas is also set to control the Health Ministry and the Diaspora Affairs Ministry; Channel 12 said in stead that it would receive the Reli gious Services Ministry and a position in the Prime Minister’s Office.

According to Channel 12, Itamar Ben Gvir, head of the Otzma Yehudit party, will be named public security minister, giving him control over the police. His party will also take the Ag riculture Ministry.

If Deri will receive the Interior Ministry, certain laws will have to be kept in mind. Current law bars indi viduals sentenced to prison time from serving as a minister for seven years. Deri was convicted of several tax of fenses earlier this year and received a 12-month suspended sentence, osten sibly barring him from receiving an other cabinet post. Attorney General Gali Baharav-Miara has clarified the Basic Law referred to both suspended sentences and jail time. Shas MK

Most Russian Immigrants Not Jewish

According to a study released by the Knesset’s research department last week, nearly three out of every four new immigrants from the former Soviet Union in 2020 were not Jewish.

The survey, which was ordered by Knesset member Yoav Ben Tzur of the Shas party, was held up as a justifica tion for those who oppose the “grand child clause” of the Law of Return, which currently grants Israeli citizen ship to anyone with at least one Jew ish grandparent so long as they don’t practice another religion.

As part of ongoing coalition nego tiations, the United Torah Judaism, Shas and Religious Zionism parties have demanded the removal of the clause in order to ensure that a far higher percentage of new immigrants are considered Jewish — either being

In

born to a Jewish mother or having converted.

The study found that the percent age of immigrants from the former Soviet Union who were not Jewish has steadily increased over the years, from 6.8 percent in 1990 to 71.7 per cent in 2020. Since 1998, the majority of immigrants from the former So viet Union have not been Jewish but neither have they officially followed another faith. These immigrants are considered by the state to be of “no religion,” which largely prevents them from marrying in Israel — as the country only recognizes religious marriages — and from being buried in Jewish cemeteries.

The survey does not provide an ex act breakdown of how many of these non-Jewish immigrants are the off spring of Jewish fathers and non-Jew ish mothers and how many have just one Jewish grandparent.

At the same time, a recent study found that the overwhelming majori ty, 94%, of Russian-speaking Israelis considered themselves to be Jewish.

Today, the number of Israelis of

“no religion” has grown to roughly half a million.

Though it is far from a sure thing that the “grandchild clause” will be revoked, the coalition demand has sparked renewed debate on the topic of “who is a Jew” and how much Jew ishness and Israeliness overlap.

sons to an implausible screenplay, the board of the Walt Disney Co. fired Bob Chapek as CEO on Sunday and an nounced that Bob Iger would return to run the company, effective imme diately.

In effect, Disney is replacing Iger’s hand-picked successor as CEO with Iger. In a Sunday night email to Dis ney employees, Iger said it was “with an incredible sense of gratitude and humility — and, I must admit, a bit of amazement — that I write to you this evening with the news that I am re turning.”

Iger Back at Disney

Iger, 71, agreed to a two-year con tract after the board determined that Chapek, 62, had done irreparable damage to his ability to lead, with a string of missteps resulting in the lost confidence of Wall Street and most senior Disney executives, as well as many rank-and-file employees. Iger previously served as Disney’s CEO from 2005 to 2020, a run that was widely seen as one of the most suc cessful in Hollywood history.

chair for two years to help Chapek gain his footing. Now, Iger has been given two years by the board to steer the company on to the right path and groom another successor.

“We thank Bob Chapek for his ser vice,” Susan Arnold, the board chair, said in a statement. “The board has concluded that as Disney embarks on an increasingly complex period of industry transformation Bob Iger is uniquely situated to lead the company

In a move that dropped jaws in Hollywood and prompted compari

Iger left Disney entirely at the end of 2021, having served as executive

through this pivotal period.”

Arnold called Iger on Friday and asked him to consider returning to the company, according to three peo ple with knowledge of the matter, who spoke on the condition of anonymity to discuss private conversations. In recent months, Iger has made no se

Developing Bnei Torah With A

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cret of his extreme disappointment with Chapek, telling people close to him that he was “devastated” by the downward direction that Disney had taken and that it felt like Disney was losing its soul.

Iger said in a statement Sunday night that he was “extremely optimis tic for the future of this great company and thrilled to be asked by the board to return as CEO.” (© The New York Times)

Goodbye “Leap Second”

there is another time-keeping alter ation we make to our clocks that you may not have heard of. The “leap sec ond” is an extra second we tack on the year to ensure Coordinated Universal Time (UTC) exactly matches up with the Earth’s rotation on its axis.

However, scientists have now agreed to scrap the leap second and let the two fall out of sync.

The decision was made because this extra second can cause problems for digital systems that rely on a regu lar flow of time, like GPS and telecom munications.

Since 1972, a leap second has been added onto astronomical time when ever the gap between them reaches 0.9 seconds, which occurs unpredict ably. This has occurred 26 times since, the last of which was in 2016.

Canada, and France pushed for the change, although Russia voted against the proposal for the leap second’s re moval in 2035. The Russian satel lite-navigation system, GLONASS, incorporates the leap second already, meaning significant technical changes will need to be made.

GPS, however, is run by the U.S. military using atomic clocks, and ef fectively ignores the additional sec ond.

not they’re fit” to serve in the White House. To those who question his fit ness, he has a stock answer: “Watch me.”

On Sunday, Biden turns 80 — a number he tries never to utter in pub lic. “I can’t even say the age I am going to be,” Biden said in a recent interview with MSNBC. “I can’t even get it out of my mouth.”

Also left unsaid is that Biden would be 86 at the end of a second term, should he run in 2024 and win.

Is Age Just a Number?

While we all know about Febru ary’s extra day during a leap year,

Leap seconds will be a thing of the past in 2035, although scientists have not yet decided for how long they will do away with that extra moment of time. Some scientists are calling for it not to be re-added for at least a cen tury.

Representatives from the USA,

But while the risk of life-threaten ing diseases, dementia and death ris es faster with each passing decade of a person’s life, experts in geriatrics say that people in their 80s who are active, engaged and have a sense of purpose can remain productive and healthy — and that wisdom and experience are important factors to consider.

The New York Times spoke to 10 experts in aging to paint a picture of what the next six years might look like for a person of the president’s age. These experts have not examined or treated Biden, though they have looked at publicly available informa

President Joe Biden has said it is a “legitimate question to ask any body over 70 years old whether or

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tion, including a medical report is sued by the White House last year, a day before his 79th birthday.

Biden, these experts agreed, has a lot going in his favor: He is highly edu cated, has plenty of social interaction, a stimulating job that requires a lot of thinking, is married and has a strong family network — all factors that, studies show, are protective against dementia and conducive to healthy aging. He does not smoke or drink alcohol and, according to the White House, he exercises five times a week. He also has top-notch medical care.

ratified its own contract. But the fail ure of the conductors to ratify their deal is another setback to efforts to avoid a strike.

With these votes, all 12 rail unions have now completed their ratification process, with members of eight of the unions voting in favor of deals and four voting against it. The four unions that have voted no will remain on the job until at least early next month while negotiations are held to try to avoid a strike that could cause wide spread disruptions in the nation’s still struggling supply chain and overall economy.

If even one of the dozen railroad unions were to go on strike, the other 11 would honor the picket lines, shut ting down the railroads.

“People in their 80s commonly experience declines; we shouldn’t be naive about that,” said Lisa Berkman, a professor of public policy at the Harvard School of Public Health who studies health and aging. “And at the same time, there is so much variabili ty. People who are doing well and are in the top level of functioning, have the odds of going for another 10 years, of doing really well during this time and making very important contribu tions.” (© The New York Times)

A Possible Rail Strike

It’s possible that Americans will have to face a crippling national freight rail strike in just two weeks. The rank-and-file members of the nation’s largest rail union, which represents the industry’s conductors, rejected a tentative labor deal with freight rail roads, the union announced Monday.

If a strike goes on for an extended period, it could cause shortages and higher prices for goods including fuel and food. If the four unions that reject ed the deals are unable to reach new deals before strike deadlines, Con gress could order the railroad workers to remain on the job or return to work.

The deals being voted down are lucrative for union members. They include an immediate 14% raise with back pay dating to 2020, as well as pay raises totaling 24% during the fouryear life of the contracts, which run through 2024. Union members also would receive cash bonuses of $1,000 a year.

All told, the backpay and bonuses will give union members an average payment of $11,000 per worker once the deal is ratified.

But it’s not the pay that has been the sticking point in the negotiations. It’s the work rules and quality of life issues, such as staffing levels and paid sick time, which the tentative agree ments do not include. So far, railroad management has rejected proposals from union negotiators to add sick pay as a way to win ratification from the rank and file.

Pelosi to Step Aside

The nation’s second-largest rail union, which represents engineers,

Nancy Pelosi, the dominant polit ical operator, legislative tactician and face of House Democrats for two de cades, and the first woman to serve as

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speaker, announced on Thursday that she would leave the leadership ranks in January following narrow election losses that cost Democrats their ma jority, but would remain in Congress.

Republicans, who demonized and de humanized her in increasingly ugly terms. During her remarks Thurs day in the House chamber, there was standing room only on the Democrat ic side, but only a few Republicans were on hand to listen to her.

In a statement released after Pelo si’s speech, President Joe Biden said history would remember her as “the most consequential speaker of the House of Representatives in our histo ry.” (© The New York Times)

Pelosi, the Californian who twice led Democrats to power in the House and has been a central figure in the ma jor legislative accomplishments of the Obama and Biden administrations, dis closed her plans in a carefully choreo graphed midday speech on the House floor a day after Republicans clinched control of the chamber.

“For me, the hour has come for a new generation to lead the Democratic caucus that I so deeply respect,” Pelosi said as some of her colleagues wiped tears from their eyes. “And I am grate ful that so many are ready and willing to shoulder this awesome responsibil ity.”

Her decision represented a trans formative moment for House Dem ocrats, and it set off a rapid and long-anticipated shift in the top ranks of Democratic leadership — now dom inated by a trio of octogenarians — to ward a younger group that has been waiting in the wings.

Shortly after Pelosi, 82, conclud ed her remarks, Rep. Steny Hoyer of Maryland, the 83-year-old majority leader, said in a letter to his colleagues that he too would refrain from seek ing a leadership position in the next Congress. He endorsed Rep. Hakeem Jeffries of New York, 52, to be the next Democratic leader, throwing his sup port to a lawmaker who is widely re garded as Pelosi’s likeliest successor.

The No. 3 Democrat, Rep. James Clyburn of South Carolina, 82, was expected to cede the position of whip and seek to become the assistant lead er, according to people familiar with the plans.

Jeffries and Rep. Katherine Clark of Massachusetts, 59, and Pete Agui lar of California, 43, were widely ex pected to seek the top three spots.

Pelosi became a favorite target for

100 Rescued from Boat in FL.

More than 100 people were res cued from an overloaded sailing vessel before it hit a sandbar in the Florida Keys on Monday, the U.S. Coast Guard said.

A good Samaritan reported the vessel at around 5 a.m. local time. Crews responded to the incident off Rodriguez Key after receiving “re ports of people in the water.

According to a tweet by the Coast Guard, they encountered “6-10 ft seas, 25 mph winds to safely remove the people from the vessel.”

It took hours to rescue more than 100 people, as the weather and rough seas presented “a challenge.”

Initially, the Coast Guard said 22 people were rescued off the overload ed sailing vessel. It later revised that number to more than 100 people, saying dozens had been rescued be fore the vessel could hit a sandbar off Whale Harbor. It is unclear where the people originated from.

The rescue comes as Coast Guard Southeast said it was suspending a search for possible survivors after a homemade vessel carrying migrants from Cuba capsized near the coast of Florida over the weekend.

A total of 19 people were believed

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to have been on the vessel; survivors reported that four people had im mediately drowned after it capsized Saturday, the Coast Guard’s 7th Dis trict said.

Coast Guard Cutter Pablo Valent’s crew rescued nine people and recov ered one body, while on Sunday and Monday the crews recovered five bod ies.

Army Vet Saves Lives

Richard M. Fierro was at a table at a club in Colorado Springs, Colorado, with his wife, daughter, and friends on Saturday, when the sudden flash of gunfire ripped across the nightclub. His instincts from four combat de ployments as an Army officer in Iraq and Afghanistan kicked in.

He charged through the chaos, tackled the gunman and beat him bloody with his own gun.

jured victims remained hospitalized, spokespeople for two hospital systems said. Fierro said his wife and daugh ter were recovering from injuries at home.

The death toll could have been much higher, officials said, if patrons of the nightclub had not stopped the gunman. Vasquez identified Fierro and Thomas James as the people who knocked down the suspect.

“He saved a lot of lives,” Mayor John Suthers of Colorado Springs said of Fi erro.

Gov. Jared Polis of Colorado or dered flags on all public buildings to be lowered to half-staff beginning on Monday for five days, one for each of the people killed.

Fierro’s Army record shows that he was awarded the Bronze Star twice. The experiences of combat still haunt him, he said, and the psychological and physical toll of the deployments were why he left the Army.

He said he never thought he would have to deal with that kind of violence at home.

“I was done with war,” he said. (© The New York Times)

“I don’t know exactly what I did, I just went into combat mode,” Fierro, 45, who left the Army in 2013 as a ma jor, said on Monday at an interview in his garage, his first since the shooting on Saturday night. “I just know I have to kill this guy before he kills us.”

On Monday, the authorities said they were holding Anderson Lee Al drich, 22, on suspicion of murder and of bias-motivated crime causing bodi ly injury, Colorado’s equivalent of a hate crime, for each of the five people killed in the shooting. Chief Adrian Vasquez of the Colorado Springs Po lice Department identified the victims as Daniel Aston, Kelly Loving, Ashley Paugh, Derrick Rump, and Raymond Green Vance.

The number of wounded victims was revised downward by authorities to 18 from 25. Of those people, 17 were shot and one was injured without be ing shot, officials said. At least 13 in

Fat Fish

The Carrot is big and orange – and a fish.

Andy Hackett, 42, was fishing in France when he nabbed an oversized female carp weighing a whopping 67.5 pounds. This was no ordinary sea creature. The fish is also orange in col or, which makes it prized by anglers since most other giant carp are either pale or brownish.

“I knew it was a big fish when it took my bait and went off side to side and up and down with it,” Hackett said. “Then it came to the surface 30 or 40 yards out, and I saw that it was orange.

“It was brilliant to catch it, but it was also sheer luck,” he added.

It took him 25 minutes to reel in his catch. Still, “The Carrot” – his name for the fish – was released back into the lake.

The behemoth fish was stocked 15 years ago “as something different for the anglers to try to catch,” Jason Cowler, a spokesman for Bluewater Lakes, explained.

“It’s not the biggest resident in the lake, but by far the most outstanding,” he said.

The orange-colored carp was caught around nine times last fishing season, Cowler added. In February, she broke the 60-pound mark.

“I always knew The Carrot was in there but never thought I would catch

it,” Hackett said.

Hey, you know there are other fish in the sea.

Every Dog Has Its Day

Make way, canine world. Gino is now the king.

The California dog was named the oldest living dog by Guinness World Records after he was confirmed to be more than 22 years old.

Owner Alex Wolf, 40, said he and his college roommates adopted the then-2-year-old dog from Colorado’s Humane Society of Boulder Valley in 2002.

“He’s been there every step of the way,” Wolf said. “I’m so glad we got him. He’s the best.”

Guinness World Records verified Gino was born Sept. 24, 2000, earn ing him the title of oldest dog living. The previous record-holder, a canine named TobyKeith, is also still living, but is only 21 years old.

Wolf attributed Gino’s continuing good health to a balanced diet, veteri nary care and the canine’s own zest for life.

“I give him all the credit,” Wolf said. “He’s gotten a lot of love, and I

think he’s just a strong dog.”

Seems like you can teach an old dog new tricks.

A Big Book

Think you just read a big book? Think again.

Recently, a Texas nonprofit and a museum teamed up to break the Guinness World Record for largest published book with a tome measur ing 7 feet tall and 11 feet wide.

The volume was a version of the book I Am Texas, which contains writ ing and artwork from 1,000 Texas stu dents from third to 12th grades.

The book, which has smaller ver sions available for purchase, measures a gargantuan 7 feet tall, is 11 feet wide, and weighs in at 496 pounds.

The giant book, which has been certified as the world’s largest by

Guinness World Records, is now embarking on a tour of Texas and will be featured in the November 24 H-E-B Thanksgiving Day Parade in Houston.

plished slackliner recently showed off his balance skills by taking a walk on a line suspended between two hot air balloons over his Brazilian hometown.

This is not the first time that Bridi accomplished this stomach-churning feat. He previously earned the Guin ness World Record for highest slack line walk when he crossed between two balloons 6,236 feet over Praia Grande in Santa Catarina, Brazil. This week, he replicated his stunt over the city of Florianopolis to honor his hometown.

According to Bridi, the sky over Florianopolis provided optimal condi tions for the dizzying feat.

“The location we chose provides very good conditions for flying bal loons. And we have all these pilots here doing unique flights, going over canyons above the clouds. Together with my production crew, I think we created a dream team,” he said.

Sweet dreams.

Paper Ballot

When all the ballots were count ed in the race for a city council seat in Roger City, Michigan, it was a clear tie: 616 people voted for Timeen Adair; 616 people voted for Brittany VanderWall.

How to resolve such a dismal dead lock?

Councilmembers had an innova tive solution to settle the tie. They had the two candidates draw pieces of pa per from a bowl. Adair, who won, had picked the paper that had the word “elected” on it.

VanderWall’s paper declared: “not elected.”

Talk about making a short story long.

Sky Walker

Afraid of heights? Whether you en joy the skies or you prefer terra firma, we don’t suggest you try this at home.

Rafael Bridi is fearless. The accom

There were no hard feelings be tween the two candidates. They ex changed hugs, although VanderWall told Adair, “Congrats. Do good work. I’ll see you in two years.”

Adair noted, “The people have spo ken, and they said, ‘Eh, either one.’”

Talk about a balance of power.

Think. Feel.Grow.

The Three-Step Process for Building Eternity

By Rabbi Shmuel Reichman

The screen flipped on, and the film began. It was a documentary of an exceptional human being who had achieved his ultimate perfection. He faced enormous challenges in his youth, but they made him stronger and pushed him to live a life of idealism, centered around learning and spreading Torah wisdom. He built an idealistic commu nity designed to help everyone achieve their unique mission in this world. He married a true tzadeikes , raised a beautiful family, and devoted his entire life to connecting with Hashem and contributing to the lives of others. He wrote books, finished projects, built up organizations, and changed the world.

“Wow,” he thought to himself. “Who is this?”

“It’s you,” came a whisper from in side his head. “At least it’s who you can be. Now is your chance to build it your self.”

Just then, there was a loud shriek. The doctor smiled, “It’s a boy!”

The Experience of Life

Have you ever felt like everything worthwhile in life eventually fades? The energy of youth fades into old age, the excitement of beginnings fades into rou tine, and the inspiration of a new goal fades into habit. This pattern extends to almost all spheres of the human experi ence. When you begin a meal, the taste is fresh and delicious, but after only a few bites, the taste begins to wear off and the food loses its mouthwatering appeal. Did you ever hear a great song, immediately fall in love with it, and play it endlessly on repeat? After a few days, you probably couldn’t listen to it any

more. This once captivating song some how lost its beauty and appeal, and you were forced to move on to the next song.

This numbing experience is not always negative. Whenever you hear a loud or disturbing sound, you may initially be annoyed or irritated by it. However, after a few moments, your senses become dulled, and your mind muffles out the sound. The stimulus is still there, but the sensation has faded.

This phenomenon permeates all hu man experience, leading us to question why Hashem created the world this way. Why did Hashem create a world in which inspiration, physical sensation, and emotional delight always fade? What is the deep spiritual idea behind this pattern?

Yetzias Mitzrayim and Matan Torah

Before answering our question, let us take a further look at this phenom enon and how it plays out in relation to the journey from Yetzias Mitzrayim (Exodus) to Matan Torah (the receiving of the Torah).

The first day of Pesach was the pin nacle of the Yetzias Mitzrayim expe rience. After revealing Himself to the world through the ten makkos, Hashem Himself performed Makkas Bechoros (the Plague of the Firstborn), striking down the firstborns of Mitzrayim. At this time, the Jews underwent the pro cess of their formation as Hashem’s chosen nation, performing the mitzvos of Korban Pesach and bris milah. The

baalei machshavah describe this night as the absolute peak of holiness and spirituality for the Jewish People. It is therefore astonishing that immediately following this elevated experience, the Jews descend into the Midbar and fall into total disarray. The Midbar is a place of spiritual emptiness, and the next for ty-nine days are defined by hardship, complaints, and spiritual challenge. Then, upon completing these forty-nine days, the Jews once again experience spiritual transcendence. The Jews are given the Torah at Har Sinai (Mount Sinai), cementing their marriage rela tionship with Hashem and committing themselves to a destiny of greatness.

There is an obvious question on this sequence of events: why didn’t the Jews go straight from Mitzrayim to Matan Torah, from one high to the next? Why did they first have to go through such a bitter low, losing everything they had gained on the first night of Pesach?

Why Inspiration Fades

The deep meaning behind this pro cess is elucidated by the Arizal, Ram chal, Vilna Gaon, and many other Jew ish thinkers. They explain that every process contains three stages:

The first stage is the high, the inspi ration, an experience of perfection and clarity.

Next comes the second stage: a com plete fall, a loss of everything that was experienced during the first stage.

Then there is the third stage, a re turn to the perfection of the first stage. However, this third stage is fundamen tally different from the first. It is the same perfection, the same clarity, but

this time it’s a perfection and clarity that you have earned. The first time it was given to you; now you have worked to build it for yourself.

Learning to Walk

Imagine you are a young child, still unable to walk. One day, your father holds your hands and begins to walk with you. Suddenly seeing the world from a higher vantage point, you immediately fall in love with your new ability to walk. Your father takes you around the kitchen, around the house, and you start to feel more and more comfortable in the walking position. You feel so close and grateful to your father for walking with you. Suddenly, just when you felt so safe and loved, your father does the inexplicable: he lets go! You immediately fall to ground, shocked. You feel hurt and abandoned. All you can think is: “Why would my father do this to me? I thought he loved me!” The next day, the same exact thing happens. Once again, just when you feel safest, your father lets go, and you fall straight to the ground. You can’t under stand why your father is putting you through this suffering! However, a few weeks later, something magical hap pens. Your father lets go, but this time, you don’t fall to the ground. This time, you remain on your feet. You begin to walk around — by yourself! You have officially learned to walk.

Only now do you realize the truth. Your father wasn’t trying to hurt you. On the contrary, he was teaching you how to walk. First, he needed to walk with you, showing you how to do it, but only by letting go and forcing you to stand on your own did you eventually learn how to walk. While he was holding your hand, it may have felt like you were walking, but you now realize that it was only an illusion. It was a gift; it wasn’t real. Only once you were forced to build it on your own do you really have the ability to walk.

The first stage was the gift. The sec ond stage was the fall. The third stage was the recreation of the first stage, ex cept that this time, it’s real.

The Three Stages

The first stage is a gift, a spiritual high. It’s there to help you experience the goal, the destination. It’s a taste of what you can and hopefully will ulti mately accomplish, but it’s not real. It’s given as a gift and is therefore an illu sion. It serves only as a guiding force; it cannot compare to the genuine accom

plishment of building something your self. It is therefore taken away to allow for the second and more important stage: building it yourself, undergoing the work required to attain this growth in actuality to work for the perfection that you were shown. A gift isn’t real; something chosen and earned is. We’re in this world to choose, to assert our

7). Unable to see his hand in front of his face, he has no idea where to go. Sud denly, there’s a flash of lightning, and he sees the path home, clear as day. A second later, the lightning fades, and he’s left with only the memory of clarity to guide him back home. The lightning represents flashes of inspiration in a challenging and confusing world. The

cept this time, it will be real, earned, never again fading away.

Rabbi Shmuel Reichman is the author of the bestselling book, “The Journey to Your Ul timate Self,” which serves as an inspiring gateway into deeper Jewish thought. He is an educator and speaker who has lectured internationally on topics of Torah thought, Jewish medical ethics, psychology, and leadership. He is also the founder and CEO of Self-Mastery Academy, the transforma tive online self-development course based on the principles of high-performance psychol ogy and Torah.

free will, and to create ourselves. Now that we have tasted the first stage, we know what we’re meant to choose, what we’re meant to build.

The third stage is the recreation of the first stage. While it appears to be the same, it’s fundamentally different. It’s real, it’s earned, it’s yours. The first stage was a gift, an illusion; the third is the product born of the effort and time you invested.

the secret behind many spiritual con cepts: Avraham, Yitzchak, and Yaakov; chessed and the child created from their bond of oneness.)

Returning to our original discussion, we can now understand why the Jewish People couldn’t go straight from Yetzi as Mitzrayim to Matan Torah. The first night of Pesach was a spiritual high, a revelation of their ultimate destination, but it was a gift, unearned. They there fore had to go through the challenges of the Midbar in order to rebuild and that initial stage.

third stage, the recreation of the first stage, but earned, real. Only then was Klal Yisrael truly able to experience the depth and beauty of their connection and marriage with Hashem.

The Light within the Darkness

This is the process of life. Inspiration, followed by hardship and difficulty, often to the point that you can hardly remember that initial stage of ex citement. The Rambam compares this experience to a man lost in the dark ness of night, in the midst of a thunder storm (Moreh Nevuchim, introduction

darkened path represents the difficult journey we must take to recreate that initial stage of inspiration. We must hold on to those flashes of lightning, un derstand our goal and destination, and then recreate that light within the dark ness. For, one day, we will once again experience the clarity of that light. Ex

After obtaining his BA from Yeshiva Uni versity, he received Semicha from Yeshiva University’s RIETS, a master’s degree in ed ucation from Azrieli Graduate School, and a master’s degree in Jewish Thought from Bernard Revel Graduate School. He then spent a year studying at Harvard as an Ivy Plus Scholar. He currently lives in Chicago with his wife and son where he is pursuing a PhD at the University of Chicago.

To invite Rabbi Reichman to speak in your community or to enjoy more of his deep and inspiring content, visit his web site: ShmuelReichman.com.

By Rabbi Zvi Teichman

And it came to pass, when Yitzchok had become old, and his eyes dimmed from seeing...

His blindness here, the Midrash teaches, has a twofold meaning. Fig uratively blinded to Esav’s feigned righteousness that deluded Yitzchok into thinking that perhaps Esav was worthy of being his successor, and lit erally, physical sightlessness.

Both factors permitted the entire story to unravel as it did from start to finish. If not for Esav’s deceptions, Yitzchok would have surely selected Yaakov as his heir. Were Yitzchok to have possessed accurate natural vi sion, Yaakov could not have pulled

and wife, out of fear the Philistines might attempt to murder Avraham and take Sarah as a wife for their king, Avimelech.

When Avimelech discovers the de ception, he is incredulous to their sus picions, he immediately returns Sarah and showers them with gifts offering them to roam freely in the land. In what seems as an act of gracious ap peasement to Sarah for her travail, he offers on her behalf a thousand pieces of silver and exclaims, “Behold!... let it be for you a םיניע תוסכ, an eye-cover ing for all who are with you; and to all will you be vindicated”.

The ‘eye-covering’ here refers to the quashing of any perceived doubts

“since you concealed from me that he is your husband and caused me this pain, may it be His will you should have blind children”, which was ful filled in Yitzchok whose eyes were dimmed. (גצ ק"ב.)

The Talmud derives from here the famous adage: The curse of a common person should not be light in your eyes.

Is it plausible that Sarah should be deserving of a ‘curse’ because she jus tifiably sought to protect herself from the lecherous Philistines?

Do we really have to be concerned that every common person’s reactive curses will come to fruition? Why then doesn’t the Talmud instruct us to avoid provoking them, but simply tells us to ‘not take it lightly’? And if we do take it seriously will that stave off the curse?

Lastly, this angry cynical expres sion betrays the simple meaning of the verse that seemingly portrays Avimel ech’s benevolent calm and desire to placate Sarah.

Every encounter in life is clearly orchestrated from on high and meant as a challenge to make us great. Cer tainly, Sarah did the right thing under the circumstances she was in. Nev ertheless, Avimelech was clearly of fended. He truly believed that were he to have known the truth he would never have entertained abducting Sar ah. He was perturbed by Sarah’s de ceiving and aspersing him. Although he maintained a dignified response, there stirred within him resentment for having been falsely accused of ill intentions.

Reading between the lines of his otherwise noble expression of gra ciousness and obvious concern for Sarah’s own reputation in the eyes of the masses lest she be falsely be

smirched, the Talmud reveals for us his deeper frustration and resentment. He subconsciously seethed, wonder ing how Sarah and her descendants would react to the deception and false accusations from others.

Perhaps that is the deeper mean ing in the directive to take seriously the curse of a commoner. If we claim a right to justify deception and suspi cion when warranted, and not be held accountable for the pain it may have caused others, then we too must prove our mettle by not being upset when we are on the other side of the chal lenge. If we react angrily in taking it personally and refuse to see the hand of G-d Who maneuvers each of our encounters, then we are deserving of the curses foisted on us.

We must make sure we are con sistent and pure in all our intentions lest we be held accountable for our duplicity.

Yitzchok was blinded to Esav’s true character, falling for his display of false righteousness. Yitzchok’s literal blindness allowed him to be duped by Yaakov in conferring his blessings upon him. In one moment both situa tions became crystal clear to him. De spite being deceived Yitzchok never took it personally and reacted calmly with each one of his sons in dealing with the new reality accordingly.

Sarah, his beloved and remarkable mother, evidently taught him well. She didn’t write off Avimelech’s con cern and took it very seriously. Not out of fear of his power to curse her, but more out of a sense of mission to inculcate remarkable character traits within her progeny, to see in every moment another divinely inspired op portunity to achieve greatness.

author at: Ravzt@ohelmoshebaltimore.com

םיערז רדס ךלע ןרדה

By Toby Friedman, Director, Torah

I recently lit a candle for my fa ther’s yahrtzeit. Interestingly, in last week’s Parsha where Sarah, our fore mother, dies is called Chayei Soroh “The Life of Soroh”. In the Parsha where Yaakov, our forefather, dies the Parsha is called “Vayechi”. And he lived. “ןייורק םתותימב וליפא םיקידצ םייח” “The righteous in their death are called living.” My father, as well as my mother z’l were Holocaust sur vivors. Every survivor had a story, a story full of miracles. Although my father built a wall of silence about his experiences, my mother, a younger sister to his first wife, was quite the opposite. She was transported to Aus chwitz, stuffed in the same cattle car together with my father and his family.

She recounted that a Nazi chose my fa ther to be killed as a “sacrifice” for the whole train. My father was kneeling and saying Viduy (confession) as he was ready to die for Kiddush Hashem. At that moment another Nazi entered and commanded the Nazi who had his gun pointed to my father’s head, not to kill the Jew “because he wasn’t worth the bullet”. My father’s family did not fare as well. The last time my father saw his pregnant wife and his 4 young children was in the smoke of the cre matoriums of Auschwitz. At home and later when I was married in my in-laws’ home, these were the kind of stories that we and our children heard being told and retold at the Seder. This was our parents’ Haggadah. Be

ing slaves and having an Exodus was unfortunately something they could relate to very well.

I was fortunate. My parents had steadfast Emunah, and I don’t remem ber the “Why” question ever being asked. They had what we call, הנומא הטושפ “simple faith”, not to be con fused with “blind faith”. On the con trary. My parents’ priority was that my brother and I receive a high cal iber Jewish (and secular) education. My Kodesh teachers in the Hebrew Academy of Cleveland were also survivors who inculcated us with the meaning of Emunah when everything you had and built is utterly decimated. We learned about G-d’s Providence and םינפ רתסה concealment as reflect ed in the Torah. Our outlook about the Holocaust and our Exile was shaped by Torah. There were no “Holocaust studies”. There were live pictures and a holistic approach, with our parents and teachers being models of Emu nah. That is not to say that I didn’t see relatives and friends of my family who had many questions. My father listened quietly to them and didn’t respond. He understood that their pain was talking. There were no phil osophical discussions. The “ultimate why” we knew could not be explained in human terms and not to those who suffered the unspeakable and the un imaginable. The message was clear. These are matters beyond our compre hension, and only G-d being G-d could

understand. “His thoughts are not our thoughts. And your ways are not My ways.” [Isaiah 55:8]

The previous generation I knew were not survivors. They were build ers. They built children, they built families, they built day schools, they built yeshivohs. All of this was being done in the shadow of the Holocaust, less than five years after they were lib erated. As I get older the more I am in awe. They were Believers, and they were heroes.

They were also scarred heroes. To say that we had a typical American, Mom, and apple pie upbringing is laughable. This is why I was also for tunate that fully 1/3 of my class was “second generation”. We formed an ad hoc support group that normalized what others would consider…uhm… atypical. We were a happy bunch al beit very sensitive and sympathetic to our parents. We weren’t worse for it. Our parents gave us things that were priceless….Shabbos, beautiful yomim tovim, the warmth of close relation ships, much love, and not least--Emu nah. They paved the way for us to live full, meaningful, Torah oriented lives, with a love for Yiddishkeit although under very different circumstances than what they had experienced. In stark contrast to our parents, the “sec ond generation” lives in relative stabil ity and tranquility. To serve Hashem with all the incomparable good grant ed to us in history was and remains our challenge. And it is a challenge that many times comes gift-wrapped with bows and glitter.

My father is very much alive. His testimonial are his grandchildren and great grandchildren who hold tightly to the Mesorah he quietly and gently passed on. Because of him and oth ers like him, each in his own selfless way, יח לארשי םע ….and it will contin ue to live.

It was a typical day in late September at Imam Khomeini International in Teh ran, the capital’s primary international airport.

Security workers were perhaps a bit more on edge as usual, being aware that fierce protests had ignited nearly two weeks prior over the death of one Mahsa Amini, a young Kurdish woman. Rumors were already beginning to circulate that Amini had died at the hands of the dreaded Gast-e Ersad, the so-called virtue police.

At the time, most assumed this pro test wave would blow over the same way all such trends had ended over the past decade. Eventually, the brutality of police and military would stomp out the protest ers’ spirits. There was hardly any reason to think this time would be anything dif ferent.

Suddenly, several black sedans pulled up in front of the main terminal. Dozens of teenagers, women, and young children poured out and were quietly and quickly ushered into the main hall by several in timidating men wearing dark green uni forms. Passengers waiting inside stared in confusion. What were Revolutionary Guard (IRGC) soldiers doing in the airport on a regular weekday? The group passed through security unabated. They exited the terminal through an irregular side entrance and went straight to the tarmac. After a few moments, all ascended a private jet that had been waiting for them on the runway. Within minutes, the aircraft’s door

closed, and the pilot began takeoff. Desti nation: unknown.

All the Reason for Panic

A group of civilians with an entourage of IRGC rushing through check-in at Imam Khomeini is, by all accounts, not a typical incident.

Once is notable. Twice is already highly unusual.

But reportedly, this scene has been re peating itself – in one form or another – up to five times a day for nearly three weeks.

Of course, regime-controlled media would never report on such an occurrence, let alone offer an explanation.

But the consistency of these strange chartered flights from Tehran was even tually picked up by international outlets. As it turns out, these groups of women and minors are none other than the families of regime officials fleeing the country.

As several investigations have now con firmed, there have been a steady stream of officials seeking to get their families, assets, and themselves, out of the Islamic Repub lic. Some sources have even reported on of ficials applying for foreign passports wher ever and however there may be a chance to obtain them.

At the same time as the families of ministers were taking off the runways of Imam Khomeini, leaders were making public speeches warning protesters they were being used as pawns of international

Persian Pandemonium

The Recent Iranian Protests are Exposing the Regime’s Fault Lines

By Shammai SiSkind

actors to overthrow the government. The Supreme Leader Ali Khamenei said in his first speech breaking the silence on Amini’s death that the protests were actually a joint plot of the U.S. and Israel.

“I say frankly,” stated Khamenei to a crowd at a military training center in Teh ran, “these incidents were planned by the United States, the Zionist regime, and their followers.”

Khamenei urged protesters not to take part in these “unnatural” protests, there by falling prey to the machinations of the Americans and the Jews.

This Time It May Be Different

To be sure, Iran is no stranger to an ti-regime protests. Over the past fifteen years, there have been several major pro

test waves that swept the entire country, resulting in massive civil unrest and wholescale violence. The first of these modern eruptions took place in the early days of the Obama administration at a time when the West felt confident the United States’ new appeasement strategy toward Tehran would lead to a more peaceful situation, not just in Iran itself, but in the region as a whole.

But alas, it was not to be. In the sum mer of 2009, the progressive Green Move ment of Iran took to the streets to protest the presidency of Mahmud Ahmadenijad and what was almost certainly a rigged election that had brought him into power that June. The Green Movement protests, which lasted well into the following year, were the first display in contemporary times of the disdain the people of Iran had

for their Islamist overlords. It was also an important showcase of what the regime was willing to do to protect itself against dis sent. Protesters were routinely brutalized. Hundreds were arrested. Some three dozen were killed. Countless others suffered se vere injuries.

Since that period, major coordinated demonstration waves from the 2017 De mocracy Movement to the 2021 protests over food shortages that quickly took on an anti-regime character all displayed to the world the hatred the population harbored for its government and just how far the Ayatollahs would go to eliminate threats to their power.

So why has this round seemingly trig gered such concern amongst leadership? Why are officials desperate to get out? Why is the Supreme Leader all but openly warn ing these protests could actually destabilize the government?

There are a few points worth highlight ing.

First off, the impetus for these demon strations is a highly sentimental issue. This would be true for any society, but especially one as steeped in conservative tradition as Iran is.

Mahsa Amini was a young Kurdish woman from the country’s west who was in Tehran visiting relatives. All reports in dicate she wasn’t engaged in any behavior that should have aroused the wrath of the Gast-e Ersad goons. According to eyewit ness accounts, Amini was detained, beaten, and dragged away. The next time anyone heard of her, she was in a coma, having suffered a severe head injury. She was de clared dead in a Tehran hospital two days later.

The idea that the regime would need lessly target and kill a young woman who was just minding her own business while strolling the streets of the capital struck a

chord. What’s even worse is that these mo rality enforcers have been an extremely unpopular feature of Iranian society since their inception. For a long time, there has been an unspoken “truce” of sorts between the regime and the people that the morality police will keep a low profile. But that dras tically changed following the election of the current president Ebrahim Raisi, a known clerical extremist.

– election fraud, economic crisis, etc. – this movement from its outset was explicitly targeting the essence of the regime and its totalitarian nature.

And this leads us to the second unique feature of the Amini Protests: they have exposed, in many powerful ways, the fault lines of the regime as an institution. Under standing this point is crucial and goes to the heart of how the Ayatollahs view them

faction among many that had succeeded in replacing the old order. From day one, the Islamic Republic was on shaky ground. Weak, strapped for cash, and international ly isolated, the Ayatollahs knew they were still vulnerable to being usurped by other political forces: Arab movements, Kurd ish movements, secularist communists… you name it. The main focus of the regime quickly became protecting itself. This is what spurred the founding of the IRGC, a military organization with the explicit pur pose of defending not the Iranian people, but the regime itself.

Thus, the Gast-e Ersad, with the seeth ing hatred toward it harbored by the young er generation, was the perfect catalyst to kick off large-scale violence.

Indeed, in numbers alone, this latest protest phenomenon has been something unique. Over 15,000 people have been ar rested in the course of eight weeks. Some 240 people have been killed including doz ens of children.

While other protests may have been rooted in specific policies or states of affairs

selves and their position of power in Iran.

At the time of the Islamic Revolution in Iran over four decades ago, the coun try was in the midst of turmoil following generations of sustained political crises. In the mid- to late-1970s, the period in which the Revolution took place, nationwide op position to the Shah was not particularly religious in nature. It was characterized by anti-corruption sentiments, the desire to implement the rule of law fairly, and pro motion of policies to spread the benefits of Iran’s natural resources (i.e., oil) in a pub licly beneficial manner. In other words, the collective force that toppled the Shah and opened the door to a governmental alterna tive was, by any definition, quite liberal in character. Ayatollah Khomeini, who was a popular political exile and had already cul tivated a substantial network of supporters throughout the country, managed to ride this wave and install the current Islamist system.

While the above historical description is a bit oversimplified, the point is this: the regime never commanded country-wide support that was fully in line with its ideology. The regime was merely the one

By the early 1980s, countrywide crack downs were taking place, rounding up any one suspected of colluding with opposition groups. All of this meant the regime came into its own while ensconced in the mind set of self-preservation. And the sad fact is, the regime has never grown out of this mentality.

For the entire history of the Islamic Re public, the main interest of the government has been to hold on to its own power – even at the dire expense of the population. Re strictive election laws and the dictatorial status enjoyed by the Supreme Leader have prevented political reformers in Iran (and there are many) to gain a substantial foothold. We saw this in action during last year’s presidential election when a coun cil under the jurisdiction of Ali Khamenei summarily disqualified hundreds of can didates mere weeks before the ballot boxes opened.

The regime’s response to the protests at every level demonstrates just how warped and dysfunctional the Ayatollah govern ment is.

Imagine this scene: a small town in western Iran organizes a demonstration to protest Amini’s death. The hundred-orso-people turnout is met with a small fleet of armored personnel carriers manned by IRGC to quash the gathering.

A protest in Tehran in 1979 in support of Grand Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini

No cost is too high for Tehran when it comes to defending the regime from its adversaries.

Khamenei has accused the US and Israel of fomenting the protests

No

Career

Now, having overseen procurement of these and similar vehicles myself, I can tell you, they’re not cheap. But as numerous in cidents over the past month have shown, even in the most underdeveloped areas of the country, the regime still allocates re sources to buying military-grade hardware for use against its own people. This is the very type of thing that enrages the protest ers even more.

Or consider some of the measures used to prevent protesters from organizing. Of ficials have repeatedly shut down internet coverage in all or large parts of the coun try to ensure activists will not be able to communicate using encrypted apps. But, as many of the Mullahs may not realize, use of the internet isn’t limited to protest organizing. Much like the rest of the world, Iranians utilize the internet for business. Whole industries in the country rely on internet communication. The financial losses inflicted upon the Iranian economy as a result of the current internet outages are estimated at $50 million per day. But again, no cost is too high for Tehran when it comes to defending the regime from its adversaries.

Lastly, the regime has made a fool of itself by showing just how out of touch it is. State-controlled media is, of course, hard at work framing protests in Iran and around the world in a certain way – mostly by playing them down. But what officials have failed to notice is that the people no longer rely on those outlets for informa tion. Iranians today tune into BBC Persian or other international outlets broadcast in their language. Even when internet access is sparce, protesters still manually dis seminate footage captured on the scene by smartphone cameras.

But the state is totally oblivious to this. Recently, there was a massive Amini-in

spired protest held in Germany organized by the Iranian diaspora in the country. About 100,000 people showed up. Reports on the event from regime-controlled out lets in Iran stated that “a few thousand Ira nians” had taken to the streets in Germany “to protest rising energy costs.” It’s not the lying that’s so pathetic. It’s that the ones in control still believe the lying is effective.

Getting Out of Hand

Many harbor hopes that the current protest wave, which shows no signs of slowing down, may actually be able to effect real change in Iran.

There are even some signs that sup port for the protesters is beginning to seep into state entities. While some of these reports have been, in my opinion, a bit outlandish, many others likely contain a kernel of truth.

There have been circulating reports, for example, that the Iranian army (not

that IRGC troops are being gunned down at these protests. And not just any troops but high-ranking officers. One of the most recent incidents involved the death of Mehdi Molashahi, a Guard Corps Col onel who was shot along with a member of the IRGC-controlled paramilitary force

Public messages by Black Reward im plied the files were obtained by hacking government databases. While this is not an impossibility, it is much more likely that at least some of the more sensitive material – like the surveillance camera footage, for example – was leaked to the group by insiders. This would mean that the state’s most carefully guarded in dustry is home to protest sympathizers. There’s no doubt that more “hacked” re gime files will be forthcoming.

IRGC, but the army actually tasked with defending the Iranian population) has been clashing with IRGC troops in vari ous protests throughout the country. Now, the implication of these reports – and I’m sure what many people are imagining when they read something like this – is that units of Iranian military are engag ing in large-scale battles with Guard Corps soldiers. There have not been any credible confirmations this is actually happening. But what most certainly is happening is

known as the Basij. Both men died while responding to protests in the southeastern city of Zahedan, a location where activists have been particularly violent.

There have been several incidents of armed men showing up to protests. The IRGC has so far confirmed at least two high-ranking officers have been killed by gunfire in recent days. Reports of “the army taking on the IRGC” are likely overblown. What is more likely, however, is that military personnel, operating on their own volition, are attending these demonstrations with the intention of shooting back.

And this support seems to not be lim ited to lone AWOL soldiers.

In late October, the Iranian hacker group Black Reward published classified information from the state Atomic Energy Production and Development Company. The leak even included security footage from inside an unidentified Iranian nu clear facility. Black Reward had threat ened to leak the data, which it called the “dirty nuclear project of the Mullahs’ regime,” if the government did not re lease political prisoners and protesters detained during Amini-protests.

Today, experts on Iranian society will tell you that support for the regime does not exceed ten percent of the pop ulation. With the incredible momentum the Amini Movement has achieved in Iran and around the world, the conditions are there for real and substantive impact.

However, we should all keep in mind: a happy ending to all of this is not a for gone conclusion by any means. The re gime, as we have seen, will not go quietly. Even keeping the current system in place but acquiescing to major reforms is in the mind of the Mullahs a capitulation they must avoid at all costs.

The IRGC has 350,000 members, all of whom are highly motivated true be lievers who are prepared to kill and die to make sure Iran stays an Islamic Republic. Furthermore, there are powerful foreign stakeholders with a significant interest in ensuring the current regime stays afloat – namely, Russia and China. It is an open question if Beijing or Moscow (the latter being a bit entangled in its own conflict at the moment) would come to Tehran’s aid.

But one thing is certain: these pro tests, more than any other in recent his tory, have laid bare the weaknesses of the Iranian regime and its complete reliance on force to control a population that de spises them.

Members of the morality police

No cost is too high for Tehran when it comes to defending the regime from its adversaries.

Marching in Berlin in solidarity for the Iranian people

Tech Triumphs

As told to Rebbetzin Sara Gross

A Changed Man

Ilove tablescapes and seeing the latest trends in clothing and shaitels. Instagram was my goto for my relaxation and enjoyment. I wouldn’t say I was addicted to it, but I looked at Instagram several times a day and enjoyed it. Before Yom Tov I liked to scan for sukkah decorating tips or gorgeous seder tables, reveling in the pretty napkins and centerpieces women put together. It was an outlet for me and I loved it.

I didn’t notice what was happening to me, but I often found myself a bit down on myself, with thoughts that my tables were cheap looking compared to the ones I saw on Instagram or that my Sukkah was a bit plain or even embarrassing compared to the ones I saw displayed online. Why couldn’t I be more put together and have my stuff looking as beautiful as “every

one else”? I wouldn’t say I had no self-esteem, I just found that I was rarely satisfied with what I made because it was not as nice as the stuff online.

Then I decided to put an end to my comparisons. I deleted Instagram from my phone and although I felt a hole in R&R, I eventually began to feel a sense of relief. So, I don’t know what the latest trends in floral arrangements are, or the coolest tips on table settings, but I was ready to give that up. After some time off of Instagram, I realized that I had stopped randomly feeling badly. I am free to do as I please without comparing myself to anyone else. Now I can revel in my own ideas and my own pretty flowers. My choices are my own and I am proud of my designs and arrangements.

Did You Know?

Did you know it is extremely diffi cult to buy a digital camera in today’s market. The global chip shortage and supply chain issues get in the way of purchasing a camera. This makes it difficult for our children and those who do not want to use smartphones and other tech as cameras. It leads many people to use iPods, tablets, and smartphones for this purpose and can easily lead to using more handheld wi fi-enabled devices, causing people to

add apps as time goes on. Addition ally, the smart tech has better lens es, editing software, and the ability to share pictures with others at the touch of a button. With all the ease weighing against digital cameras and the difficulty obtaining a good camera, it is a harder fight to avoid the slippery slope of more updated tech for our children and families.

To share a tech triumph or story of chizuk, please email Techtriumphs@ tagbaltimore.org.

This is a service of TAG Baltimore.

TAG Baltimore is an organization that provides technology awareness, education, and support. They can be reached at 410-449-1824 or help@ tagbaltimore.org.

A Tehillim-Based Mortgage

Finding a home is one story. Getting a mortgage is another. With our growing family, it was clear that we needed to jump into the grueling process. After an intensive search in the saturated real estate market in our community, we were lucky to find a home that seemed perfectly suited to our needs.

Then we began to work on the mortgage. We gave in our application and waited to hear back from the bank. The response we got was not the one we had hoped for. “Declined!”

Without the necessary funds, the entire deal would fall through! I was despondent and desperate. Our lawyer encouraged me to hand in an appeal and begin the request again, even though “the chances of it going through are very, very weak,” he explained. This was the most we could do.

I decided to get some advocates on my behalf. I would join the thousands of Tehillim Kollel members and have the special minyanim daven for me every single day.

That was on Monday morning. Just two days passed. On Wednesday, I received a notice from the bank: my request was accepted! The mortgage went through!

I was so excited. After moving into our new home, I called the Tehillim Kollel office to share my excitement. “Everything went so smoothly. All the typical complications and legal issues totally jumped over us. Yes, I myself witnessed how great daily Tehillim b’tzibbur is.”

Mental Health Corner

Disorder or Difference?

By Rabbi Azriel Hauptman

Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) is a condition that covers a broad range of symptoms and includes a range of individ uals; from fully functioning members of society to those who are unable to live in dependently even as adults. There is a live ly debate if autism is a true disorder or it merely reflects a different way of thinking and communicating. In practical terms, this would greatly depend on if we were discussing high-functioning or low-func tioning individuals. However, first, a little bit of background.

Autism describes a condition where one has difficulties with social commu nication and interaction; and restricted or repetitive patterns of behavior, interests or activities. Autism can be diagnosed at any age, but symptoms start to appear in the first two years of life.

The social and communication symp toms may include: not making eye contact, not responding to someone attempting to get their attention, difficulties with the give-and-take of conversation, talking at length about a subject without noticing that others are not interested, facial ex pressions and gestures that do not match what they are saying, non-typical tone of voice (a sing-song or robotic tone), dif ficulties understanding another person’s point of view, and difficulties in predicting other people’s actions.

The restricted or repetitive symptoms may include: repeating certain behaviors such as repeating words or phrases; having a lasting intense interest in certain topics, such as numbers, details, or facts; hav ing overly focused interests, such as with moving objects or parts of objects; getting upset by slight changes in a routine; being more or less sensitive than other people to sensory input, such as light, noise, cloth ing, or temperature.

Speech and language development may also be significantly delayed in autis tic children and some have no language at all. We develop our language starting from infancy by interacting with our caretakers. When the focus of the child is obsessively focused on inanimate objects and not on those who are interacting with him or her, then speech and language development can be very impaired.

The term “autism” was coined at the beginning of the 20th century to describe children who seemed detached from what was going on around them and had difficulties with so cial interaction. The source is the Greek word “autos” which means “self”, as if to say that autistic chil

dren were inside of themselves and not connecting with others around them.

In the 1940s, Hans Asperger, a Vi ennese scientist, differentiated between classic autism and higher-functioning au tism. He demonstrated that some children had normal language and intelligence, but struggled with social interactions and nonverbal communications. Additional ly, their behaviors and interests were re stricted or repetitive. During his lifetime, his writings were largely unknown in the English-speaking world. In the 1970s and 80s, researchers who discovered his work popularized it and coined the term Asperg er syndrome. In 2013, the American Psy chiatric Association broadened the scope of autism and introduced the diagnosis of Autism Spectrum Disorder, which covers the entire gamut of autism, including As perger syndrome.

Regarding high-functioning individu als with autism, we have the lively debate if this should be viewed as a genuine dis order or is this merely a reflection of the neurodiversity that exists amongst us. We all have different talents and abilities, and these individuals might not be as skilled in social interactions, but they may be excep tionally talented in other areas.

Ultimately, there is very little practical difference regarding the label. As with all children, we try to cultivate their innate talents, and also provide them support for those areas that they find difficult. Ap plied Behavior Analysis (ABA) is one of the common interventions and is used to support the teaching of social skills and interactions. Additionally, sensory integra tion therapy can be vital in dealing with the sensory overload that many of these individuals deal with. If we accept every one for who they are and help them to the best of our ability, then not only will we be assisting them, but we will also be making ourselves into better people.

This is a service of Relief Resources. Relief is an organization that provides mental health referrals, education, and support to the frum community. Rabbi Yisrael Slansky is director of the Balti more branch of Relief. He can be con tacted at 410-448-8356 or at yslansky@ reliefhelp.org

Riddle Me This

There was a man walking in the desert. It was an especially hot day that day. In the distance, the man suddenly saw a restau rant. He rejoiced and ran to the restaurant

immediately asked the waiter for a glass of water. Instead, the waiter pulled out a gun and pointed it at the man’s head. The man replied, “Thank you!”

Thanksgiving Trivia

1. Sarah Hale is known as the “Mother of Thanksgiving” because in 1863 she persuaded then-President Abraham Lincoln to make Thanksgiving a nationwide holiday. She is also known for writing one of the following songs. Do you know which one?

a. Mary Had a Little Lamb b. The National Anthem c. America The Beautiful d. The Ants Go Marching

2. Who was the first U.S. President to pardon a turkey? a. Thomas Jefferson b. John F. Kennedy c. Ronald Reagan d. George H. W. Bush

3. Which of the following industries has its busiest day of the year on Black Friday?

a. Plumbers b. Divorce lawyers c. Carpet cleaners d. Sanitation workers

4. According to a 2020 Yougov poll, what dish do people hate to see the most at their Thanksgiving table?

a. Cranberry sauce b. Grilled vegetables c. Egg salad d. Tofu

5. According to AAA, what is the most traveled-to city on Thanksgiving?

a. Chicago, Illinois b. Anaheim, California c. New York City d. Orlando, Florida

6. According to the National Turkey Federation, how many turkeys are eaten on Thanksgiving? a. 12 million b. 46 million c. 62 million d. 114 million

Answers

1-A 2-B 3-A 4-D 5-A 6-B

Wisdom Key

5-6 correct: You are really into Thanksgiving… “Yeah, I make beer-battered turkey in a pressure cooker…”

3-4 correct: You make sure to get that kosher turkey from Shop Rite every year!

0-2 correct: “Thanksgiving… what? Every day is Thanksgiving!”

You Gotta Be Kidding Me!

Moishe was furious when his steak arrived too rare. “Waiter,” he shouted, “Didn’t you hear me say ‘well done’?” “I can’t thank you enough, sir,” replied Yankel the waiter. “We hardly ever get compliments here.”

Notable Quotes

“Say What?!”

Shalom :)

– Tweet by an anti-Semitic entertainer after he was let back onto Twitter

We would very much like to be excluded from this narrative.

- Tweet in response by Israel’s Foreign Ministry

Your tweets are good! More countries should tweet like this. No fun being all stuffy.

- Elon Musk commenting on Israel’s tweet

I get asked, “Who’s the most dangerous person in the world? Is it Chairman Kim, is it Xi Jinping?” The most dangerous person in the world is Randi Weingarten; it’s not a close call. If you ask, “Who’s the most likely to take this republic down?” It would be the teachers unions and the filth that they’re teaching our kids.

With just 720 days to go before the next election, a Florida retiree made the surprise announcement that he was running for president. In a move no political pundit saw coming, avid golfer Donald J. Trump kicked things off at Mar-a-Lago, his resort and classified-documents library. Trump, famous for gold-plated lobbies and for firing people on reality television, will be 78 in 2024. If elected, Trump would tie Joe Biden as the oldest president to take office. His cholesterol levels are unknown, but his favorite food is a charred steak with ketchup. He has stated that his qualifications for office include being a “stable genius.” Trump also served as the 45th president.

Tongue-in-cheek coverage of former President Donald Trump’s announcement that he’s running for president again, appearing on the 28th page of the New York Post , whose owner Rupert Murdoch renounced his support for Trump, resulting in a public falling-out between the two

To me, just seeing that discrimination, it doesn’t matter if I’m white or black. This is blatant, and I would just hope that other people who have also experienced this would step forward.

- Keith Wann, a sign language interpreter, who sued the “Lion King” Broadway show after he was fired because he is white and the show stated that they want to have a black sign language interpreter

- Former Secretary of State Mike Pompeo talking about American Federation of Teachers President Randi Weingarten

His biceps are as big as my calves. Look at this. There’s a man. I hope we’re on the same side.

- President Joe Biden at the G20 Summit when he noticed a muscular cameraman

Sir, he’s Russian.

- An unidentified bystander

I don’t care who he is. He’s got some real biceps. We call them guns.

- Pres. Biden, in response

Take his handling of COVID. The pandemic was not necessarily fatal to Trump’s reelection chances. What hurt Trump was not the substance of his decisions, but his tonal response. His behavior reinforced what many people found repellant about his personality. He yielded to his impulse for pettiness and pointless nastiness; got drawn into infantile name-calling spats; and, in his press conferences, made everything about himself.

– William Barr, Attorney General under Trump, writing in the New York Post why he no longer supports Trump

Trump’s extraordinarily divisive actions since losing in 2020 are not those of someone capable of leading a party, much less a country. Right after his defeat, he treacherously sabotaged GOP efforts to hold the Georgia Senate seats. The GOP’s poor performance in the recent midterms was due largely to Trump’s mischief. He fueled internal fights within state parties. He attacked popular Republican governors in Maryland, New Hampshire, and Arizona to dissuade them from running for Senate seats they could have won. He supported weak candidates for key Senate and House seats based solely on their agreeing with his “stolen election” claims. And after foisting these candidates on the GOP, he failed to provide them adequate financial support, largely sitting on a massive war chest of cash raised from small dollar donors.

– Ibid.

Sloppy Bill Barr was a weak and ineffective Attorney General who was fired (he didn’t quit!), and now he’s nothing more than a disgruntled former “employee.” Barr was a “Bushie” who was petrified of being Impeached, which the Dems were going to do until he changed course on the Rigged Election. He knows nothing about the Document Hoax, & as a lawyer & former A.G., shouldn’t be talking. Weak RINO Bill Barr always caved to the Dems, & is a disgrace to the Republican Party, & our Nation!

- Trump, responding on social media

Not everyone gets obituaries three times in their life.

- Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu talking about how he was believed to be politically dead three times already

I think the context is that whether or not they’re pulling back from Fallujah… from the city of Kherson.

- Pres. Joe Biden mistakenly referring to the Iraqi town of Fallujah while talking about the Ukrainian city of Kherson

We just finished this election, OK? People just need to chill out a little bit on some of this stuff.

- Gov. Ron DeSantis (R-FL) when asked about running against Trump in 2024

Michael got offended about something I said about him. And we haven’t spoken in probably almost 10 years. And he was my best friend at the time. And I love the dude like a brother, and we’re both stubborn and we haven’t talked.

- NBA Hall of Famer and broadcaster Charles Barkley talking about his falling-out with Michael Jordan

He’s a politician — but he also can be a normal governor. In other words, after the storm, he can stand with President Biden like a normal governor does and work with them and then send some migrants to Martha’s Vineyard. You know, and that’s a very powerful thing to have both those elements.

- Bill Maher, HBO, talking about Gov. Ron DeSantis (R-FL)

-

Yeah, I need barbecue!

Jay Leno

A Healing Laugh

Using Humor to Cope with Stress

Comedian

to a reporter, after leaving the hospital with burns due to a car fire in his garage BAL TIMORE

BAL TIMORE

Dating Dialogue What Would You Do If…

Dear Navidaters,

I’m grappling with an issue and hoping you could help me.

I’m 29 and have been dating for a long time. My best friend who is my age is engaged and in her own world. I’m so happy for her, but suddenly I feel so alone in the world. We did everything together and shared everything with each other. I feel guilty about these inner thoughts I feel. Instead of feeling thrilled for her, I feel upset at her, almost annoyed. I wake up in the morning and feel so alone, like I’m the last single girl on earth.

All this is illogical, I know. But it’s how I feel. How can I work through this?

Thank you, Esti*

Disclaimer: This column is not intended to diagnose or otherwise conclude resolutions to any questions. Our intention is not to offer any definitive conclusions to any particular question, rather offer areas of exploration for the author and reader. Due to the nature of the column receiving only a short snapshot of an issue, without the benefit of an actual discussion, the panel’s role is to offer a range of possibilities. We hope to open up meaningful dialogue and individual exploration.

Moderated by Jennifer Mann, LCSW of The Navidaters

Be Our Guest

The Panel

The Rebbetzin

Rebbetzin Faigie Horowitz, M.S.

Esti, the answer to this challenge is ac tion. Join a new class or two which is not about frontal learning. Rather, explore an interest and a hobby in a group envi ronment. Volunteer in a new environment, preferably one that gives you the ability to interact with people in a live environment and develop relationships such as driving someone for medical appointments, stay ing in the hospital with a patient, or doing reading practice in a school where there are kids who need help but whose parents can’t afford the time/money.

Reach out to other young women in your general age group and suggest outings, coffee dates, day trips, sports activities, cul

remain single longer than expected expand their circle of friends to include other young women in their neighborhoods and beyond. These people may not have been your first pick, but you will be surprised to find that they are worthwhile, introduce you to new interests and new environments. You may eventually find fun people to travel with, even if you have to negotiate dates and des tinations.

There are now several organizations for young single frum women. Lechu V’nelcha is a large network of Bais Yaakov-type girls in various locations who meet for shiurim, Shabbatons, and trips. Hasviva is largely focused on navigating work life. You might meet some likeminded potential friends there. There are also professional groups these days for frum women which will include marrieds but can also be a good

The Shadchan

Michelle Mond

Losing a friend is one of the hardest, most painful events to go through. I know many might think that just because she is getting married does not mean that your relationship is over, but many times that proves to simply not be true. It is not a malicious thing, but close friends tend to split if their circumstances change –whether it be a big event such as marriage or a small event such as switching schools or religiosity changes.

As with any loss, the most important factor that will play here in your recovery is time. Just as elementary school friends morph into new middle school friends, and high school friends morph into new sem

let guilt creep up into your psyche and make you feel “wrong” for thinking these thoughts; you did nothing wrong. You’re ex periencing a loss like any other. Over time, you will slowly feel better.

When you’re ready, put yourself out there to make new friends. Join a gym and take classes, tap into an old hobby and join a group of people who enjoy doing the same thing. Connect with mentors who host sin gles and create opportunities for both dat ing and meeting other people. Make a list of

Give yourself time to grieve but don’t drown in it.

I hope you are able to see the light at the end of the tunnel soon!

The Single

Tzipora Grodko

you. It’s a new and very sensitive time for both of you, and my famous answer is… drumroll….COMMUNICATE!

D

ear Esti, I have been there. My friends have been there. And many others who have called me for support have been there. Your feelings are completely validated. This is a HUGE adjustment that nobody real ly prepares you for and comes across as a personal shock once these new unfamiliar feelings come up.

I strongly recommend sharing your feelings with your friend. If she’s your best friend, then she will probably notice a shift between the two of you and feel unsure how to respond. Honestly, she probably has her own concerns in knowing how to share her happiness without upsetting

Share your heart with your best friend. Tell her your love her, are ecstatically hap py for her, and also feel lonely while under standing that the relationship is shifting. Be vulnerable. Communicate, state your needs, and I can guarantee that it will com pletely change how you feel.

The Zaidy

Dr. Jeffrey Galler

Friendships that once seemed like un breakable, life-long attachments, often do not survive life-altering changes.

For example, a best friend moves to a different neighborhood and the friendship does not survive geographic dislocation; the wives of two best friends don’t get

Pulling It All Together

The Navidaters Dating and Relationship Coaches and Therapists

Dear Esti, Thank you for writing into the panel. It is absolutely normal to feel exactly the way you are feeling. You are holding onto so many emotions at once, and they can feel confusing – happiness for your friend, lone liness, guilt about your personal thoughts etc. Even your annoyance with her is kind of typical. What does it say about me if I feel this way? I’ll tell you what it says. It says you are absolutely normal and healthy. What would not be OK is if you are taking out your frustration on your friend or guilt ing her for her happiness. I don’t think that

is what is happening.

I find that so often in life, we believe that if we have complicated or un pleasant emotions something is wrong with us. And we want the fix. We want the feelings to go away. This is more often than not a sign that you are already are working through your feelings! The feel ings are supposed to be there. So, wel come them. Hold space for all of them. I am happy and annoyed. I feel guilt and excitement. I am feeling a sense of loss

along and the relationship dissolves; a suddenly widowed woman finds that she is no longer made to feel comfortable among couples who had been their closest friends.

For young adults, there is an important stage of psychosocial development, known as the “Intimacy vs. Isolation” phase. During this stage, if we develop normal ly, we enjoy personal, caring relationships with someone other than a family member.

You have succeeded in going through this stage very positively but are now wor ried that the close relationship that you had enjoyed might be ending and you worry about feeling abandoned.

At this point, you’re hurting. And your desire to never again experience this kind of hurt in the future might cause you to avoid forming close relationships with new friends. And, if you do avoid new friend ships and new relationships, that avoid ance can lead to feelings of isolation and depression.

So, Esti, give yourself time to grieve but don’t drown in it.

According to Dr. Dana Hodkin, Clinical Assistant Professor, Department of Child and Adolescent Psychia try at NYU Grossman School of

Medicine, “Right now, you are wondering if you are ever again going to have a close re lationship and are worried about being all alone. You worry that you might be losing your best friend who has been your prima ry social support.

“The good news is that you have already proven to yourself that you possess all the skills and tools needed to form that kind of good, positive relationship, and hopefully you will, once again, be able to form that kind of strong connection with a new girl friend, or a boyfriend, in the future.

“Be reassured, that it’s 100% normal to feel the way you do right now, and these feelings are quite prevalent among folks your age. It’s normal and healthy to ac knowledge these feelings of loss. And now, you can use the excellent relationship skills that you clearly possess, in order to form new relationships.”

as I watch my friend transition to the happiest moment of her life. I feel it all, and I am going to allow myself to feel it all and I am absolutely healthy. There is no quick fix and no way not to feel what I am feeling

I am a big fan of journaling to pro cess one’s thoughts and feelings. If you’re feeling something, write it down. Or paint it. Or sing it. Or record yourself on your phone. Say it in front of the mirror. And give yourself a gigantic hug for having all these hard feelings.

You are allowed to feel happy for your friend and worried about your own self at the same time. When you feel ready, start hanging out with other friends. Try to find another friend or two to start doing things with. Whenever a friend’s relationship sta

tus changes, it means change for us. That is a universal truth.

Some friendships are seasonal, and some are for a lifetime. I hope you and your best friend are lifetime friends. If you are, your relationship may change for a time, but you will be back together in a new way with time. If you are seasonal friends, then she was sent to you for a period of your life, and you can try to tap into your gratitude for your season while grieving the loss (when you are ready.)

In the meantime, if your feelings be come too great, you may want to consid er speaking with someone for some extra support right now and to help you work through the way you are feeling.

Wishing you all the best, Jennifer Mann, LCSW

Jennifer Mann, LCSW is a licensed psychotherapist and certified trauma healing life coach, as well as a dating and relationship coach working with individuals, couples, and families in pri vate practice at 123 Maple Avenue in Cedarhurst, NY. She also teaches a psychology course at Touro College. To set up a consultation or to ask questions, please call 718-908-0512. Visit www. thenavidaters.com for more information. If you would like to submit a dating or relationship question to the panel anonymously, please email JenniferMannLCSW@gmail.com. You can follow The Navidaters on FB and Instagram for dating and relationship advice.

Some friendships are seasonal, and some are for a lifetime.

Teen Talk

By Mrs. Chayala Isbee

Dear Teen Talk,

My grade is having a Shabbaton this weekend in an outof-town kollel community. We are all being set up at different families. As soon as the planning started, we all filled out forms listing the girls we would want to stay with. I spent the weeks before the Shabbaton awaiting the fun and camaraderie I would have rooming with at least one of the four girls I wrote down.

Three days before the weekend (yesterday for me), we found out who we were rooming with. I was shocked when I found out I was placed with no one on my list. As a matter of fact, I was placed with just one girl, and I have very little to do with her. I know she doesn’t have many friends and she likes me; I’m pretty sure she wrote me down. All my friends were placed with at least one girl they requested. Even more than that, they are all placed with a bunch of other girls, who are socially con nected, while I am put with a girl who is not my type and not in my social sphere.

What should I do?! Truthfully, it’s not fair that I am not placed with any of the girls I chose. I heard from the girls who went last year that the “chevra” you’re placed with makes all the dif ference. From what I hear, a special bond takes place between the girls and the host family. The purpose of the experience is that since we experience Shabbos in homes where there is a lot of mesiras nefesh for Torah, it’s an incredible opportunity for growth.

I believe I have every right to go to the Shabbaton coordina tor and contest my placement. After all, we were told that every girl will be with at least one girl she picks. Also, I am very much involved in other aspects of the planning. As a choir director, I have given many hours of my time coordinating details, so the entertainment should be exciting. I have done so much for the “ruach” of the school; in a sense, I think they owe me and should come through for me.

I was about to approach the coordinator to address the is sue. At first, however, I ran it by my mother. She understood my hurt, but also pointed out that if I ask to be switched, I would be hurting the girl I was placed with. The exclusion she would

Teen Talk, a new column in TJH, is geared towards the teens in our community. Answered by a rotating roster of teachers, rebbeim, clinicians, and peers (!), teens will be hearing answers to many questions they had percolating in their minds and wished they had the answers for.

feel as a result would be very damaging and quite possibly cause her to skip the whole Shabbaton.

I then thought of an idea where we both will ben efit. What if I arrange that she is placed with me along with my friends? This way, I get to be with my friends, and she doesn’t feel rejected; we can all be together! My mother, however, still tells me that I should not change anything. She believes that even though I have good intentions, if I go ahead and switch things around, this girl will likely still feel hurt. She also pointed out to me that as a committee head, I have to uphold certain values, and this may affect my credibility.

By the time you answer this letter, I will have already expe rienced the Shabbaton. Although I feel wronged that I was not given any of my choices, and I have every right to go to the one in charge to make the changes I deserve, I am listening to my mother. Honestly, I am not looking forward to this coming Shabbos. So much of the enjoyment is derived from staying up at night having great conversations. Moreover, I am at a dis advantage because I am not with a “chevra,” but rather with a random girl, and therefore, I will not have that opportunity to connect with my host family. This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, and I feel gypped. I am going, though, with the mehalech that this is the right thing to do and something good will come out of it.

Thank you, -I rather not sign even my first name because of the situation

Dear Amazing Girl, Wow! A popular girl choosing to spend an entire Shabbos weekend with someone other than her very good friend! What an eye-opener to your classmates, teachers, and even to your family. You are surely admired by your classmates for your surprising decision. The hanhala and teach ers respect your maturity in performing this chesed. Your family can be proud of their exceptional daughter. Just because something is unfair does not mean that you can go ahead and redo arrangements just to suit your needs. When someone else’s feelings are at stake, righteousness precedes fairness. Fair does not mean right!

Pursuing the event coordinator to fix the mistake she may have made is wrong. What is the moral approach you should be taking? Changing things around to ensure you have a good time or behaving b’yashrus and en abling someone else who is not as “cool” as you feel acceptance?

I like your mother! She is awesome. I ap preciate her unbendable approach to stand up for the truth. You are blessed to have someone who models the Torah’s ideals as your mother. You acted wisely for seeking her guidance as opposed to dealing with it yourself.

I was in a similar predicament as you many years ago when I was in high school. I was looking forward to going on a much anticipated class weekend. We also were able to request a friend to bunk with. Somehow, I was placed with a girl that I had very little, if anything, to do with, while my friends were all placed together in large groups. This girl was fairly new to Yiddishkeit and wasn’t as “with-it” as the other girls. To make matters worse, while my friends were set up in homes that had other family members their age residing there, the two of us were placed in a home inhabited by one older woman. (Her children were long-married and out of the

house.) When I found out about this, I was so upset. I felt let down and was confused about what I should do. In theory, it made sense for me to make the switch and stay with my friends…but what about this girl who would be left all alone? What about her feelings? She would feel abandoned by me.

I reasoned with myself and thought long and hard. This was a Shabbaton whose sole purpose was to foster friendship; to infuse social and emotional development. Is it not a contradiction to the goal of the Shabba ton to redo arrangements in order to suit

When we got to the house, the woman was waiting up for us with cookies and hot cups of tea. We took off our coats and spent time conversing with this little old lady, who I realized was quite sharp and spunky. I don’t remember what we discussed, but I do remember being impressed with the other girl. The next day, this girl and I got up on time to go to shul (whereas most of the other girls overslept because they must have stayed up into the night). A special bond was developed between the two of us. Years later, this girl became a five-star

my liking in the name of being fair when someone else will be pained as a result?! Is not the Shabbaton’s purpose to bring about “aliyah” (growth)? I decided to keep the ar rangements. I knew this was ordained by Hashem and would be for my benefit. Whenever social situations don’t pro ceed as we expected them to, we must understand that they are all orchestrated by Hashem in our best interests. I vividly remember socializing and laughing with large groups of girls as we left the Fri day night program. Once we got to the corner, my roommate and I separated from the girls to walk by our selves to our host. I told myself, “I know I’m missing out on a funfilled night, but I’m on this world for a higher purpose. All my years of learning Chumash, Navi, Kesuvim, Yahadus, etc. are in vain if I am not going to apply the les sons to my life! Let’s see if I can pass this nisayon.”

mechaneches and leader in Klal Yisroel, one of the most looked-up-to woman I know.

How fortunate I am to have spent a Shabbos with this smart and talented per son. I could have easily turned it down and would have never forged a bond with her. Our actions have ripple effects. Always. Per haps my decision to stay with her caused her to enjoy all the weekend had to offer (shiurim, panel discussions, performances, etc.) and in turn, she grew stronger in her frumkeit. If I would have left her, maybe she would have been turned off by religious Jews and would not have grown religiously as she did over the next few years. That’s a serious possibility!

In Parashas Kedoshim, it says, “Lo sis na es achicha bilvavecha (Do not hate your brother in your heart).” The pasuk that fol lows says, “V’ahavta l’rayacha kamocha, ani Hashem (Love your friend as you love yourself, I am G-d).” The Torah teaches us that we are not allowed to harbor hateful feelings towards a fellow Jew. Every Jew is precious. Every Jew is equally important.

When you befriend someone who is outside your social circle, it’s a win-win situation

Are you a teen with a question?

If you have a question or problem you’d like our columnists to address, email your question or insight to editor@fivetownsjewishhome.com , subject line: Teen Talk.

There is a reason that the commandment of loving our fellow Jews follows the impor tance of not harboring hate towards others in our hearts. This commandment is only attainable if we first rid our minds of “sinas chinam (senseless hate)” and replace it with “ahavas chinam (senseless love).” There is no way we can be on the level of loving our fellow Jews just as we love ourselves if we don’t rid ourselves of judging others by fri volities. The commandment is followed by the words, “Ani Hashem” to teach us that if we practice this “ahava ,” we are truly fol lowing Hashem’s ways. The best way to get close to Hakadosh Baruch Hu is through treating others with unconditional kindness.

My father, Harav Yonasan Binyamin Jungreis, zt”l, had a favorite vort that he would share at a simcha. He would ask the olam, “Why does the Torah start with a ‘beis’ and not an ‘alef?’ Doesn’t it make more sense to start with an ‘alef’; after all, that’s the first letter of the ‘alef-beis!’

“The Torah starts with a ‘beis’ on pur pose; to teach us a lesson. ‘Tovim hashnay im min haechad (two is better than one).’ One must be careful not to look out just for himself; he must always look out for the oth er person.”

He would then ask everyone, “And now, my dear friends, what is the last letter in the Torah? ‘Lamed!’ It is not a coincidence that the first and last letter of our precious Torah spell ‘lev (heart).’ The ikar (main point) of life is to have a ‘lev tov.’ If we want to fol low the ways of the Torah properly, being good-hearted is essential and precedes any other dictates of the Torah.”

My father loved to learn Torah. He stud ied it throughout his days and nights, yet he would always emphasize the Chazal, “Derech eretz kadma LaTorah.”

In my mid-high school years, a new girl joined my grade from out of town. Her ap pearance was unlike that of my other class

mates. She spoke differently than my peers. Her background made me believe she couldn’t relate to my friends. I knew what it felt like to be a “newbie” and there fore offered her that affirmation. (I switched schools in fifth grade, and initially, it was a very overwhelming experience for me.) As a result of that validation, she felt comfortable with me and stuck with me. At first, it was somewhat annoying. Out of a sense of duty, I knew that I had to be nice to her and not detach myself from her. Honestly, an authentic and beau tiful relationship developed be tween the two of us. Actually, she became very popular. I would often smile to my self and wonder, “Did my connection to her affect her social accomplish ment?”

When you befriend some one who is outside your social cir cle, it’s a win-win situation. Your new friend wins, of course. She feels good by your over tures. In turn, that inclusion brings out her best and maximizes her social success. Moreover, your “win” is the most victorious of all, as the acceptance, friendliness, and tolerance that you exhibit actually sharpen your people skills and improve your social graces.

In Pirkei Avos it states, “Aizehu mechu bad? Hamechabed es habriyos (Who is re spected? One who respects others).” True popularity stems out of giving of one’s self to others. When one gives honor, kindness, a helping hand, or attention to someone else, the one who benefits the most is the giver. As a person is careful to consider other people’s feelings, a healthy self-confidence blooms. This person is comfortable in “his/her own skin” and doesn’t feel the need to constantly surround him/herself with people who are

like him/her. He/she feels at ease sitting at a gathering next to any one! As a result, this person actual ly becomes more and more likeable to others, causing many to recognize his/her magnificence.

You see…it’s cool to include and be down right friendly to others! That is the secret to real popularity.

You say that the goal of this Shabbaton is to develop a sense of mesiras nefesh for To rah. I can’t think of a better way of display ing mesiras nefesh for Torah than to accept this ruling and fly with it. The dividends are not just for the long run; you will reap the benefits in the short run, too! As you spend time with this girl, you will feel a certain genuineness within. You are connecting in a real way, without the social pressures you may experience when surrounded with your friends. The sincerity between the two of you will be apparent to your host family. You surely don’t need to be with your “chevra” in order to better connect with your host fami ly. Quite the contrary. Their appreciation for you is based on the honorable way in which you treated each other.

Yes, as a choir head, you have an obliga tion to behave like a leader. You represent values and should live by them. Your credi bility surely is minimized if you act selfishly and seek to amend the arrangements. Your maturity is transformed into immaturity by petty acts like this.

I believe we are all disillusioned with our current world. We live in a state of uncertain and torrential times. We long for the Geu lah. The secret to achieving this yeshua is through ahavas chinam , loving our fellow Jews for no reason; just for the mere fact that they are fellow Jews. If we adapt this mehalech (approach) into our daily lives, we will surely bring forth the final redemption! May it come speedily in our day.

Mrs. Chayala Isbee is a long-time educator and school counselor at Bais Yaakov of Baltimore.

Hey, wouldn’t it be nice if we could always agree? That way, we’d always get along.

The problem is that we don’t.

I don’t mean we don’t always get along. I mean we don’t always agree.

Hmm…well, I guess that causes peo ple not to get along?!

But does it have to?

Is it possible for people to get along well when they don’t see eye to eye?

Ah, “there’s the rub,” as Shakespeare would say. The challenge starts right there.

We often try to entice people, force people, coerce people, lecture, fact-bom bard, or simply explain to people … and still many times they just won’t see it our way.

Frustrating?

You bet!

Yet, there often is more to life than agreeing.

Sometimes, it’s simply respecting our differences. When that’s too tough, looking deeper may help. One avenue may be realizing we have different con

Life C ach Choose Happiness

By Rivki D. Rosenwald Esq., LMFT, CLC, SDS

cerns that we are addressing.

The most helpful may be recogniz ing that we are just made up differ ently – with different strengths. Then throw into that varied needs, experienc es, ages, stages, vantage points, etc. And there’s a lot of frustration to go around, if we let it.

son to think they will change. If we get there, can we calm the frustration?!

Perhaps!

We certainly can choose to continue to believe what we believe and do what we do, because it makes sense to us. However, then we need to decide if we want to keep expending energy on liv

your personal happiness be a way to go? Why drain yourself with letting their at titude and inability to change double up on draining you?

It’s simpler to write an article about this than to do it. I get it – although ev ery time I follow my own advice, I actu ally do better.

In the end, we can only control our selves.

So let’s embrace wise choices that help us live our best life. Sometimes, it takes arriving at a recognition and not staying steeped in the world’s limita tions.

So can we not go there?!

This does not come easily. But we cannot make progress or get along if we cannot see that sometimes we might just have to get to a place of respecting that we see things a certain way but the other person can’t, won’t, or hasn’t been able to. Therefore, there’s not much rea

ing frustrated. We can ultimately realize nothing has changed the other person to date, so why go on pushing for it? You may have a strength they don’t, or they may just have a different outlook, or they may have a limitation. Either way, if they haven’t changed yet, it just may not happen. So, then, would spoiling

Rivki Rosenwald is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist working with both couples and individuals and is a certified relation ship counselor. Rivki is a co-founder and creator of an effective Parent Management of Adolescent Years Program. She can be contacted at 917-705-2004 or at rivkiros enwald@gmail.com.

There often is more to life than agreeing.

My Israel Home President Albert Einstein?!

By Gedaliah Borvick

In October 2022, the Israeli govern ment approved the establishment of a museum in honor of Albert Einstein, to be located on The Hebrew University’s Safra Campus in Givat Ram, Jerusalem. In addition to the new museum, Albert Einstein’s name is prevalent in Israel, as it adorns street signs in Lod, Petach Tikva, and Haifa. These cities have honored Ein stein because, in addition to being arguably the most brilliant scientific mind in the twentieth century, and a Jew, he was also a devoted supporter of the State of Israel.

Albert Einstein bravely spoke out against antisemitism after witnessing a series of attacks against Jewish refugees at the end of World War I. Despite being a pacifist, he was drawn to Zionism as he understood that the Jews needed a safe ha ven to flee from persecution. In addition, he believed that a homeland would provide an environment for Jews to repair their collec tive self-confidence, which had been beaten down from centuries of oppression.

Although Einstein was associated with many Israeli institutions and organiza tions, The Hebrew University was clos est to his heart, as it encompassed many principles that he characterized as Jewish values. In 1934, Einstein penned an essay describing aspects of Jewish identity that resonated with him: “The pursuit of knowl

edge for its own sake, an almost fanatical love of justice and the desire for personal independence — these are the features of the Jewish tradition which make me thank my stars that I belong to it.” For Einstein, the academic setting, with its focus on learning and research, was the most nat ural milieu to fulfill his vision of Judaism.

Einstein’s relationship with The He brew University began in 1921 when he ac companied Chaim Weizmann, who would

erary rights to his writings to The Hebrew University. Many photos and original doc uments housed in the university’s Albert Einstein Archives will be displayed in the Einstein museum.

Throughout his lifetime, Einstein re mained a passionate defender of Israel and also a seeker of peace, as he strongly believed that the two causes were mutu ally reinforcing. When President Chaim Weizmann died in 1952, Prime Minister

my relationship to the Jewish people has become my strongest human bond, ever since I became fully aware of our precar ious situation among the nations of the world.”

In 1955, Einstein was scheduled to de liver a speech in support of Israel on its sev enth Independence Day, to be broadcasted on all of the U.S.’s major networks. Days before delivering the speech, Einstein met with Israeli consul to review the script and then experienced internal bleeding that landed him in the hospital. He died a few days later.

Einstein’s passing reminded me of Rabbi Tarfon’s famous words in Pirkei Avot (2:16): “It is not up to you to finish the task, but you are not free to avoid it.” The last speech that Albert Einstein wrote was never delivered. The fact that Ein stein’s last written words were on behalf of the State of Israel highlights his lifelong sense of responsibility – and his many contributions – to the Jewish nation.

later become Israel’s first president, on a U.S. fundraising tour on behalf of the fu ture institution. This relationship grew over the next thirty years. Einstein was a founder and then a member of its Board of Governors, and even delivered the first lecture at the university. It was only fitting that, in his will, Einstein bequeathed lit

David Ben Gurion asked Einstein to be Is rael’s second president. Einstein declined, but he wrote a heartfelt letter that under scored his love of the Jewish nation: “I am deeply moved by the offer from our State of Israel, and at once saddened and ashamed that I cannot accept it... I am the more dis tressed over these circumstances because

Gedaliah Borvick is the founder of My Israel Home (www.myisraelhome.com), a real estate agency focused on helping people from abroad buy and sell homes in Israel. To sign up for his monthly market updates, contact him at gbor vick@gmail.com.

He believed that a homeland would provide an environment for Jews to repair their collective self-confidence, which had been beaten down from centuries of oppression.

Albert Einstein with David Ben Gurion

By Elliot Pepper, CPA, CFP®, MST

On November 20th 2022, I completed the Philadelphia Marathon for the 4th time, and while my finishing time was nowhere near prior year races, the slower pace left me with extra time in the blustery Philadelphia streets to think...and when I get time to think… well don’t ask. On this particularly frigid Sunday morning, I could not help but think about the relationship between training and running a marathon and preparing and executing on a financial plan.

1. Starting things is easy, but what is important is to continue them: “Hey, I bet I can run a mar athon” - easy to say, but it took a long time and lots of repetitive work through rain, blazing heat, freezing temperatures, and frustrating injuries

to reach the point of running 26.2 miles. Successful financial outcomes tap into the same commitment of re petitive actions over time - especial ly when it’s hard. Over $80 billion of Warren Buffet’s wealth was earned af ter he was eligible for Social Security. Compound interest is the energy that drives outsize returns. In a marathon we condition our muscles to withstand enormous stress and with time and practice our speed can dramatically improve. The common denominator for both a strong portfolio and a strong marathon speed is time and continu ous investment.

2. Delayed gratification is hard: I don’t care what anyone says, 26.2 miles is a lot of miles to run at once. The glory of the finish line doesn’t show the early Sunday morning

runs, turned down happy hours, and late night speed workouts at the high school track. I would create short term rewards to encourage myself in seeing through to the end goal. A nice din ner out with family, or a concert with friends, were the small rewards that helped me in my marathon training. The same applies to savings. I might say that I love to save, but here is the thing - I also love food, surfing, music, and home improvements. I believe strongly in the savings con cept of “PYF” which is an acronym reminding us to “Pay Yourself First”. This means that savings and investing should be part of your spending plan, not an afterthought after the month’s bills are paid. I make sure to track my savings, but if I meet my “PYF” goal for the quarter - it’s time to splurge on something I wouldn’t otherwise spend on. Short term rewards can be the fuel necessary to see a long term plan to fruition.

3. Setbacks do NOT equal fail ure: I was really hoping to finish with a better time this year on my race. My personal record was nearly 30 minutes faster than this year’s race, and I have no shortage of excuses for why I did not meet my desired time. Toward the end of the race, I decided to stop dwelling on what didn’t happen, and focus on just enjoying the moment and being grateful. A friend and fel low runner reminded me to focus on running my own race, not someone else’s. There will be setbacks in your financial plan. This year’s stock mar ket, crypto fiasco, and rising interest rates are reminders that life will not always go according to the plan of your spreadsheet - and numbers don’t care about your feelings. Navigate the ups and downs - realizing that there is only so much you can control.

4. Enjoy the success, but realize the race is never really over: The eu phoria felt at the finish line of a mar athon is hard to put into words. How ever, it does pass and then it’s onto the next race, hobby, exercise routine,

whatever I need to do to stay healthy. Financial goals are similar. There are the big ones we all talk about such as building an emergency fund or saving for retirement. These are important goals, but once met, the game is not over. New goals will emerge, prior goals will resurface and need to be tweaked in order to reach. A lesson I was taught from a very inspiring high school teacher was to think of life as a downward escalator, if you stop put ting in effort, you will only go down - always keep working, learning, and finding the next accomplishment!

Who knows, maybe next year’s marathon will see me return to my glory days of sub 7:30 miles, or may be this year was the last marathon I will run. Either way the lessons learned from years of training, trying, failing, but trying again have applica tion to both my investment accounts, but more importantly to life.

This content not reviewed by FINRA Northbrook Financial is an Investment Adviser registered with the State of Mary land. All views, expressions, and opinions included in this communication are sub ject to change. This communication is not intended as an offer or solicitation to buy, hold or sell any financial instrument or investment advisory services. Any infor mation provided has been obtained from sources considered reliable, but we do not guarantee the accuracy or the complete ness of any description of securities, mar kets or developments mentioned. Please contact us at 410-941-9709 if there is any change in your financial situation, needs, goals or objectives, or if you wish to ini tiate or modify any restrictions on the management of the account. Our current disclosure brochure, Form ADV Part 2, is available upon request, and on our web site https://www.northbrookfinancial.com

Elliot Pepper, CPA, CFP®, MST is Co-Founder of Northbrook Financial, a Financial Planning, Tax, and Investment Management Firm. He has developed and continues to teach a popular Financial Literacy course for high school students.

School of Thought

By Etti Siegel

Q:Dear Etti, I went to my 3rd grader’s PTA meetings expecting a glowing report. The teacher did not look pleased to see me and basically showered me with a list of behaviors that proved my child was not working at grade level and was not al ways cooperating. I feel betrayed. First, if this is true, wouldn’t I have noticed any of this at home? Second, why did I get ambushed? Shouldn’t I have been given this information earlier? And finally, what should I do now?

-Bewildered and Frustrated

A:Dear Bewildered and Frustrated, I feel your pain. I agree that being blindsided is not OK. In a perfect world, the teacher would have been in touch with you about this before PTA. But let’s not focus on the delivery. Let’s focus on the information.

When a parent hears news about their child, no mat ter what the age, the first thing a parent needs to do is not overreact. Dr. Andrea Canter, a nationally certified long-time school psychologist for the Minneapolis school district, says, “It is natural for parents to become upset when first hearing about ‘problems’ in the classroom, but usually the first signs of trouble are just that – early warning signs that something needs attention. It does not usually mean that the child has a disability or will fail the grade or will never catch on.”

The second thing a parent should NOT do is blame the teacher or get defensive or decide the teacher is wrong or unqualified, which is something parents can jump to when getting upset. Instead, become a detective with the goal of helping your child. The National Association of School Psychologists suggests that you ask a list of ques tions (and I suggest you ask them in a neutral tone, in a caring way, as the teacher is nervous and uncomfortable telling you this information):

• When did the problem begin?

• How long has it been going on?

• How different is my child’s behavior/actions from the other children in the class? (Obviously the teacher cannot share names, but you want a general idea of your child’s deficit.)

• Are there any other ar eas my child is struggling?

• What are my child’s strengths?

Find out if the other teacher (as a child in a Jew ish day school or yeshiva usually has at least two teachers) is seeing the same lagging skills.

Perhaps the jump between grades means you need to be more involved, and you did not realize. No worries. Start now. Is homework coming home? Is it getting back to school? Whatever the problem is, see if the teacher has ideas and find out if the school has resources available to you. This is not labeling your child, just helping your child so he/she does not need a label.

The teacher might not have the tools to understand why your child is having issues but can tell you how your child is doing as compared to the rest of the class, which is helpful information. Teachers can make mistakes, but take the information being given to you seriously. See the teacher as a collaborator and an advocate and sincerely thank the teacher.

But what if conferences already happened, and you reacted badly?

Send a note apologizing and explaining you were caught off-guard and that you know the teacher only has the best interest of your child at heart. Then ask to set up a phone call follow-up or in-person meeting. At that meeting, go to the step above and begin fact-finding, in

a neutral tone, of course.

• Ask what is being done about the issue.

• Ask what strategies you can follow to help.

• Prepare, with the teacher, a tentative action plan that can be followed at school and at home to address and help the situ ation, that you can both actually do.

• Schedule a follow-up conference to see if the teacher sees changes and mark any improvements.

Please note: There are certain grades that require new skills or introduce new concepts, such as first, third, fifth, and seventh. In those grades particularly, lagging skills are more easily noticed. It is a help when a teacher is able to bring these deficits to your attention. When and if teachers are scared to tell parents the truth, the person hurt the most of your child. So many lagging skills can be caught early and taught!

Make sure your child’s teacher knows how much he/ she is appreciated. Send gifts and notes because what they do is valuable to your child’s day-to-day life, and you should appreciate him/her.

Keep in mind that your child must face the teacher every day of this school year and don’t make it awkward for either of them with disapproval.

Have a great year growing with your child,

-Etti

Mrs. Etti Siegel holds an MS in Teaching and Learning/Educational Leadership and brings sound teaching advice to her audiences culled from her over 35 years of teaching and administrative experience. She is an Adjunct at the College of Mount Saint Vincent/Sara Shenirer. She is a coach and educational consultant for Catapult Learning, is a sought-after mentor and workshop presenter around the country, and a popular presenter for Sayan (a teacher-mentoring program), Hidden Sparks, and the Consortium of Jewish Day Schools. She is a frequent contributor to Hamechanech Magazine and The Journal for Jewish Day School leaders. She will be answering your education-based questions and writing articles weekly for The Jewish Home. Mrs. Siegel can be reached at ettisiegel@gmail.com.

Become a detective with the goal of helping your child.

A Taste of BesT of Kosher

BBQ skirt steak Caesar salad

By Danielle Renov | Peas, Love & Carrots

The Caesar dressing really is the best non-dairy version and I don’t say it lightly. Ask anyone who has made it! In my original book, one of the salads had it paired with BBQ chicken, rice (crazy, I know, but so good!) and veg. It’s one of my family’s favorite dinners or Shabbos lunches, and lately I’ve been replacing the chicken with skirt steak and all the people are even happier! If serving on Shabbos day, take meat out of the fridge early in the morning and let it come to room temperature. You can also warm on the plata, on top of another dish, 30 minutes before serving.

ing ReDients

4 cups chopped Romaine lettuce

2 cups arugula

1 red Belgian endive, cut into ¼-inch strips

2 shallots, thinly sliced 2 cups prepared white rice

Best Caesar Dressing Ever

2 tsp kosher salt

2 tsp black pepper Juice of 1 lemon 12 garlic cloves

DiRections

4 tsp red wine vinegar

4 tsp fish-free Worcestershire sauce

¼ cup Dijon mustard ¾ cup mayonnaise 1¹⁄ 3 cups oil

Steak

2¼ lb (1 kilo) skirt steak

2 tbsp apple cider vinegar

2 cups favorite BBQ sauce, divided ¼ cup Franks hot sauce

3 tbsp maple syrup

Prepare the dressing. Place all ingredients except oil into a food processor fit ted with the “S” blade. Process until the garlic is well blended into the ingredients. While processor is running, slowly drizzle in oil. Dressing will stay fresh in an airtight container in the refrigerator for up to 10 days.

Cut steak into 5-inch pieces. Place into a large bowl; fill to cover with cold water. Add vinegar. Stir and allow to sit for 30 minutes. Drain, rinse, and return to the bowl. Add 1½ cups BBQ sauce, hot sauce, and maple syrup, mix to coat. Allow to marinate for 1 hour.

Preheat grill pan over medium high heat. Cook skirt steak for 4 minutes on the first side and 3 minutes on the second side. Remove steak from pan and immedi ately brush with remaining BBQ sauce. Set aside.

Prepare the salad. Place veggies into a large, wide bowl; add warm rice. Toss to combine. Dress salad with Best Caesar Dressing Ever (you may have extra).

Slice skirt steak against the grain into ½-inch slices; fan meat over the salad. Drizzle with any accumulated juices. Serve and enjoy!

Tip! If you don’t want to grill the steak, you can broil it! Place the steak on a parchment-lined baking sheet and place in the lower middle section of the oven. Broil for 5 minutes on the first side, then flip (brush second side with any of the accumulated juices) and broil for another 4 minutes.

Bakery-style Chocolate Muffins

By Miriam (Pascal) cohen | Yield: 18 muffins

If you’ve been following me for a while, you might know that I bake … a lot. There aren’t many baked goods that I’ll see in a bakery that I’ll want to buy vs. make my self. But for some reason (I don’t really know why!), bakery muffins, with their high domed tops, have always tempted me. Ironically, muffins are among the easiest baked goods to make, so I was determined to make a version at home that is as tempting as the ones you’ll find at a bakery.

ing ReDients

3 eggs

¾ cup oil

1½ cups sugar

1 tsp vanilla extract

1 tsp baking powder

1 tsp baking soda

DiRections

½ tsp sea salt

2/3 cup cocoa powder

2 cups flour

1 cup buttermilk or 1 cup non-dairy buttermilk substitute (see Tip!)

9 oz chocolate chunks or chips

Preheat oven to 350°F. Line muffin pans with paper liners; set aside.

In a medium mixing bowl, whisk together eggs, oil, sugar, vanilla, baking pow der, baking soda, and salt until combined.

Add cocoa powder, flour, and buttermilk. Stir until combined.

Add most of the chocolate chunks to the batter, stirring to combine.

Fill muffin pans until almost full. Sprinkle reserved chocolate chunks over the top.

Bake for about 20 minutes, until the top feels set.

Tip! In place of chocolate chips or chunks, chop up a bar of your favorite high-quality chocolate to enhance the flavors in this muffin.

Tip! If preparing your own buttermilk, add lemon juice to a measuring cup. Add non-dairy or dairy milk to the 1-cup mark. Let sit for 5 minutes, until it appears curdled.

Recipes reprinted with permission from Best of Kosher, published by ArtScroll/ Mesorah Publications.

Your Money

Please Listen Carefully as Our Menu Options Have Changed

By Allan Rolnick, CPA

When was the last time you called someone’s customer service number and found an actual person at the other end of the line? Did it feel like winning the lottery? We’re not talking about ordinary voicemail here. We’re talking about those endless phone tree menus that have gotten so frustrating that there’s a website — www. gethuman.com — that lets you enter a company name, then gives you the cheat code for reaching an actual human. If you’re calling Target, for example, the site says, “Press 2, then 1, then 1.” That same site even has a callback service that lets you enter your own number and let robots do the work. “We dial, navigate through their phone menu maze, and wait on hold for as long as it takes while you relax or do as you please. When we finally reach an agent, we call you back. You pick up the phone and talk to Target. Simple!” (It’s ad-supported, which means you’re the product, not the customer.)

But nobody, and we mean nobody, is as bad at answering the phone as the IRS. Someday, when Shoddy Customer Service finally becomes an Olympic sport, the In ternational Olympic Committee will rule that the IRS is too professional to com pete. Erin Collins, the National Taxpayer

Advocate, reports that during 2021, the IRS logged 272 million calls – with just 11% of them reaching the holy grail of a living, breathing human being.

The problem, of course, is money. Con gress simply doesn’t give the IRS enough to do its job. Hopefully, that will change with this year’s passage of the Inflation Reduction Act. That law authorized $80 billion in new IRS spending over the next

Tax pros like us enjoy a couple of workarounds to avoid waiting in the reg ular line with the peasants. The first one is a “Practitioner Priority Service” num ber with specially trained staff to handle more-complicated questions from CPAs and Enrolled Agents calling on behalf of clients. Think of it as the equivalent of TSA’s Pre-Check service for skipping airport lines.

and the IRS has decided it’s time to call the cops on those loud line-jumpers up stairs. Last month, they launched a pilot program requiring callers using the PPS line to repeat specific phrases before be ing transferred to a rep. And get this – it uses speech recognition technology to make sure there’s a real person calling The Service says the goal is to improve service by reducing unnecessary wait times – perhaps by clearing out all those paid bots? But it’s hard to believe they don’t take at least a little joy in sending the high rollers back in line with every one else. And the $300/month service we mentioned earlier has already suspended operations.

ten years, including $3.2 billion for cus tomer service. The IRS has already hired 4,000 new representatives and plans to hire another 1,000 more for the 2023 tax season. They’re training right now on technical account management issues as well as understanding and respecting taxpayer rights. And they couldn’t come a moment too soon.

More recently, there are third-par ty services modeled along the lines of the GetHuman app that use bots to swamp the service with calls, then sell the prime spots at the head of the line. Those services are most definitely not adsupported – the best-known of the bunch starts at a base fee of 300$/month.

Except, every party has a pooper,

Today’s technology has turned Ameri ca into a nation of do-it-yourselfers. Who needs plumbers in a world of YouTube videos? But slashing through IRS red tape really is best left to the pros. So call us for answers without endless hours on hold!

Allan J Rolnick is a CPA who has been in practice for over 30 years in Queens, NY. He welcomes your comments and can be reached at 718-896-8715 or at allanjrcpa@aol.com.

During 2021, the IRS logged 272 million calls –with just 11% of them reaching the holy grail of a living, breathing human being.

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