Baltimore Jewish Home - 2-24-22 by Moshe Rubin

N E W LO O K , S A M E G R E AT C O N T E N T ! Vol. 8 Issue #4 | Feb. 24- March 9, 2022 | ‫ ו׳ אדר ב׳‬- ‫כ״ג אדר א׳‬

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Contents

Dear Readers,

COMMUNITY Around the Community Community Calendar

6 36

JEWISH THOUGHT Rabbi Zvi Teichman

PEOPLE 613 Seconds

HUMOR & ENTERTAINMENT Centerfold

Notable Quotes

LIFESTYLES My Israel Home

JWOW

Parenting Pearls

Teen Talk

Mental Health Corner

Dating Dialogue

Dirshu

Your Money

As Adar I draws to a close, there is a palpable energy and excitement as we’re on the cusp of the end of a lengthy winter and the beginning of the holiday season. The long winter nights and short cold days are transitioning as we close the door on the winter. In a year like this one, with an extra month of winter, it’s especially exciting as we anticipate and look forward to Purim and Pesach. However, these long stretches of cold, Yom Tov-less months do serve an important purpose. It allows us to cherish both the weather and the holidays. With all due respect to the Miami snowbirds, it’s impossible for them to feel like we do when we catch the first glimpse of a tulip poking through the ground in early spring or inhale that first spring breeze! Similarly, when we hear the sound of the brachos to the megillah and the crack of the graggar, it’s as if it’s signaling the start of the road towards Pesach- you can almost taste the matzah!

our world. Our lives were overtaken and we endured so many ups and downs. The divisiveness that Covid created was perhaps the worst result of it all. Masked vs. Unmasked. Vax vs. Anti-Vax, Open shul vs. close Shul. Liberal vs. Conservative. Biden vs. Trump. There are lots of opinions and questions, but like with anything during this time period, no clear answers. One thing seems to be evident though, the world is opening up again and we’re eagerly awaiting a life without these divisions. Let’s take a step back and appreciate how far we’ve come and how bright the future looks. Allow the dawn of a new season to spark to a new beginning filled with cohesiveness, reconciliation, and friendship. We hope and pray that this really is the end of the line of this horrible Covid journey, and the start of an even brighter future. Looking forward to looking forward!

Analogously, we’re now completing a two year journey of a pandemic that changed

Aaron Menachem

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Dear Editor, I’m writing in response to the letter written by Mary Begleiter, a pulse ox can truly be life saving in the 1/27 issue. Yeshaya Berzon kindly brought us one last year when my husband, Phil, was sick with COVID. Although we knew he was sick, it wasn’t until we used the pulse ox that we realized

how low his oxygen levels were and how high his heart rate had reached. The pulse ox gives you both pieces of information which are very important to know. In response to using it and having that information, Dr. Dov Frankel advised us that he needed to go the ER right away. B”H he sent us and Phil was subsequently hospitalized for almost a

Around the Community

Ahavas Chaim Shabbos with Nissim Black

n Shabbos Parshas Mishpatim Ahavas Chaim under the dynamic leadership of Rabbi Shaya Kohn, hosted Nissim Black. The Friday night meal was spent together with the boys where Nissim shared stories and connected them. This was followed

by an Oneg Shabbos together with the community- where Nissim spoke about his history and sang zemiros. Shabbos was capped with a Melave Malka concert for donors. It was leibedig and uplifting and raised much needed funds for Ahavas Chaim.

week to help stabilize his condition and breathing. While he was in the hospital, we started a pulse ox Gemach as a zechus for his refua sheleima. BH he fully recovered! I hope everyone stays well, but if someone has a need for one pls call or text 410-9780460 and I will be happy to give it to you. Wishing everyone good health. Rivka Bogart To submit letters to the editor, please email letters@baltimorejewishhome.com

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Chayeinu Holds “This Is Us” Dinner for an Evening of Volunteer Connection and Appreciation

n Sunday, February 20th, Chayeinu’s Board of Directors and volunteers gathered for an event entitled “This Is Us”, an evening of volunteer connection and appreciation. “Chayeinu includes many different groups of individuals doing incredible things,” explained Esti Ziffer, Chayeinu’s President. “Many volunteers who are integral to our organization may not have ever had a chance to meet each other, and tonight provided a great opportunity to put names to faces and for all of us to connect.”

After a short meet-and-greet, the evening commenced with Mrs. Ziffer recounting Chayeinu’s origins and explaining how the organization has grown over the last few years. Mrs. Ziffer highlighted the ways in which Chayeinu has pursued its mission – prevention through education and awareness – through various events, partnerships with community leadership and schools, curriculum development, and more. The presentation included recorded video remarks from Dr. David Pelcovitz and Rabbi Yakov Horowitz, both of whom have previously spoken at Chayeinu functions.

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Rabbi Dovid Heber then shared divrei bracha and chizuk with those assembled. Rabbi Heber elaborated on the importance of Chayeinu’s mission in protecting our community’s youth, emphasizing the need to help children appreciate their self-worth and allowing them to truly be happy with their real selves. “When you don’t appreciate the value of something,” said Rabbi Heber, “then you are more likely to fall to peer pressure.” Yossi Oberstein, a member of Chayeinu’s Board of Directors and its Education Committee, then shared his personal story and the reasons

why Chayeinu’s work is so important. Closing remarks by Shmais Weisbord profiled exciting new initiatives that Chayeinu has planned for 2022. Chayeinu would like to thank Congregation Ner Tamid and Rabbi Yisrael Motzen for their support in providing the venue, and Shira Rosenblum of Chic Events by Shira for preparing a beautiful event. To find out more or to get involved with Chayeinu, visit ChayeinuBaltimore.org or email chayeinubaltimore@gmail.com. Photo credit: Kalman Feldman of KF Productions

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Siyum on Moed Katan

n Wednesday night, February 9th, Mercaz Torah U’Tefilla was proud to host the final Siyum in Seder Moed - the Siyum on Moed Katan. We say “last Siyum” because the Siyum on Chagigah, which is also the Siyum on Seder Moed, will be in Eretz Yisroel bez”H. The theme of the Siyum reflected the anticipation for the trip to Eretz Yisroel - delicious Israeli cuisine, little paper suitcases at each seat filled with chocolates and a large inflatable airplane hanging in the middle of the room. We were addressed by R’ Shaya Kohn, who leads Ahavas Chaim Teen Center, but also joined us recently as the newest Daf Yomi Maggid Shiur at 8:30am every morning. His remarks were followed by a

video presentation, which showcased the history and evolution of the Siyumim in Mercaz Torah U’Tefilla over the years. The video ended with a call to join us for the Siyum in Eretz Yisroel. The Siyum was generously sponsored by the Feigenbaum and Morgenstern families, in memory of their mother, Mrs. Paula Feigenbaum. They honored Rabbi Moshe Tesser to make the Siyum, and Rabbi Mordechai Feigenbaum said the Kaddish. The Siyum ended with Divrei Chizuk from the Rav, who shared details about the planned Sedarim in Yeshivos such as Mir and Chevron, Shiurim from Roshei Yeshivos and visits to Gedolei Yisroel. In addition to the usual men’s Siyum, this Siyum featured a program for the wives and children of our Lom-

dim. The women also had a video presentation, getting to hear from women who are being Moser Nefesh to allow their husbands to go on the trip to Eretz Yisroel. The kids were entertained by the famous Rebbe Hill in our tent, and received packages with various goodies

in an airplane themed bag which had a sticker on it: “My Tatty is going to Eretz Yisroel!” We look forward to celebrating the Siyum on Moed in Eretz Yisroel, which bez”H will generate the energy needed to persevere through the upcoming Sugyos of Yevamos!

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Yeshivas Toras Simcha Zeidy Day 2022

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Around the Community

Baltimore Celebrates Suburban Orthodox Congregation Toras Chaim Groundbreaking

unday, February 20, the Baltimore community gathered to celebrate the historic groundbreaking for Suburban Orthodox Toras Chaim. The event featured divrei Torah, celebratory music, delicious buffet, and childrens activities. Photo credits: Dina Brookmyer

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Ari Gunzburg - Epic Camps After the trip in Maine, I wanted to get my Wilderness First Responder (WFR), but for many reasons it never happened. In 2018, I finally took the plunge and got certified, and now I just renewed my certification in 2022. I’m currently working on learning additional skills and getting other certifications.

Please tell us a little about yourself: Wow, I wouldn’t even know where to start! I’m a Wilderness Liaison, helping people get into nature. I’m also a motivational speaker, podcaster, author of an award-winning book, coach, and entrepreneur.

What certifications do you have to keep people safe out there?

Did you say before you wrote a book? What’s that about? I did say that. I wrote a book called The Little Book Of Greatness, which is a parable that tells over the life framework I developed, called The 5 Keys To Greatness. It’s a short read, has won a few awards, and a Rav of mine in Cleveland wants me to adapt it for the frum market. That’s not to say there is anything bad in there – there isn’t – but some may feel uncomfortable with the portrayal of men speaking to women and vice versa. I can also include more Torah in the book once it is adapted specifically for the frum market.

Kurt Hahn, the founder of Outward Bound, said, “There is more to us than we know. If we could be made to see it, perhaps, for the rest of our lives we will be unwilling to settle for less.” It is my goal to bring this mantra to my coaching and outdoor programs so that anyone I work with is unwilling to settle for less. What kind of wilderness trips do you run? I love it all. It’s actually kind of a problem because the sky’s the limit and sometimes I don’t know where to start. Some of the trips I’ve done in the past include backpacking in Yosemite, winter mountaineering and ice climbing in Colorado, camping, white water rafting, caving, climbing, river kayaking, paddle boarding, and more. I want to climb Kilimanjaro and many other epic experiences as well. Wow! Quite the experiences. Tell us about your camp last year. It kind of popped up last minute. And I plan to do at least one or two

sessions this year as well. It was an epic experience (that’s why I call it Epic Camp) with an action packed time that includes white water rafting, caving, hiking, kayaking, flying, and much much more. I’m hoping to do SCUBA with at least one group if it works out. Basically we go outdoors and have epic adventures together. You should do this for adults! I actually do! In Spring 2022 I’m doing a men’s trip that is only a short drive from Baltimore, with 3 nights at a hotel and delicious prepared kosher food. It includes white water rafting, skeet shooting, caving, axe throwing, and an escape room. And, if you can’t get away for a long time, you can arrange to only miss two days of work, or you can take a full 4 day vacation by packing in activities on the first and last days. Is there anything else you’d like to share with our readers? Thank you for the opportunity! Probably the main thing to know is that I do these outdoor programs through my brand JTreks; the website is jtreks.com. If you want to talk about my upcoming trip or plan a new trip, please call or text me at 410-262-7654. P.S. want a cool car magnet that says Explore More? No purchase or commitment necessary. Call or text: 410-262-7654

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How did you get into the wilderness business? From a very young age, I used to run around and play in the woods behind my house with my BFF, and I suspect my love for all things wilderness began then. And then after 9th grade I had an amazing opportunity to go on a Yancheini trip, which was basically a kosher Outward Bound Trip. We did a primitive sailing trip off the coast of Maine. Ever since that trip, I’ve wanted to give the gift of the great outdoors to other people.

Something to remember is that my goal is not to be a wilderness guide, but to be a liaison. So on any trip, while I am ready and willing to use my WFR, I work with guides who specialize in whatever terrain we are tackling. The best guide you can have with you is someone who knows and loves the terrain with years of experience; these are the people I like to have with us on trips.

What kind of coaching do you do? The coaching part of my business is still a little young. I’m currently developing programs that integrate my love of nature and desire to be outdoors with break-through executive coaching, so that I can use the wilderness to empower high achievers to scale up and break through any barriers holding them back.

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The Week In News

Grocery Prices Soar

If you thought that milk prices were high in the U.S., consider what is going on in Israel. According to a study by money.co.uk, the Jewish State has the sixth-highest cost of groceries in the world. The study analyzed the average cost of a “standard” trip to the grocery store in 36 countries around the world. According to the research, the average cost of groceries in Israel totals $28.45 per person a week – a figure

higher than that of the U.S., Denmark, or Canada. Still, Switzerland is the country with the highest grocery prices, costing an average of $48.16 a week for a trip to the grocery. Switzerland is known for its high cost of living, with meat prices being particularly high at $7.94 for 300 grams for chicken fillets and $5.20 for 100 grams of beef. Turkey, on the other hand, is the cheapest country in which to purchase groceries. A trip to the grocery there would require consumers to shell out $8.95 on average. Colombia came in second place, with an average spend of $9.71 per week. Grocery prices have gone up across Israel since the start of 2022, which has led to a national backlash. Prices for goods such as fruits, Osem products, and even diapers have risen in the last few months, angering shoppers and leading to calls for boycotts. Israel’s Consumer Price Index (CPI) rose 2.8% in 2021 and increased another 0.1% to 2.9% this year as of January 30, the Central Bureau of Statistics reported in January.

Israel and Morocco to Increase Trade

Israeli Economy Minister Orna Barbivay (Yesh Atid) on Monday said that Israel and Morocco are aiming to quadruple their annual trade to reach over $500 million. During a visit to Morocco this week, Barbivay told reporters, “The annual level of economic and commercial exchange between the two countries, which today amounts to $130 million, must very quickly reach $500 million...and go beyond that.” Barbivay also signed a trade deal with Morocco’s Minister of Industry

and Trade Ryad Mezzour. The deal aims to designate special industrial zones in Morocco. According to Mezzour, it will boost cooperation between the countries’ private sectors, allowing for an exchange of expertise in the field of innovation. According to Barbivay, “The economic cooperation agreement is designed to bring about economic growth and prosperity for Israel and Morocco. By working together, we will realize the latent economic potential in bilateral relations, increase the scope of trade, and strengthen technological cooperation alongside rapprochement between the peoples. Pursuant to the above, I have instructed the professional teams in my ministry to work toward increasing bilateral trade from $131 million to $500 million in the next five years.” Mezzour added, “This was an initial meeting that created for us the opportunity to identify areas and channels for cooperation and for bilateral industrial and commercial cooperation. After resuming diplomatic relations one year ago, today Morocco

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The Week In News and Israel have laid the foundation for an innovative and multi-faceted partnership. Today marks a new stage in which we will embark together on a partnership that is intensive, productive and beneficial for both sides.”

Israel’s GDP Grew by 8.1% in 2021

the Bank of Israel had previously estimated that the GDP would grow by 6.5% in 2021. Meanwhile, Israel’s GDP per capita grew by 6.3% last year, while the population itself grew by 1.7%. The CBS noted that the average OECD growth was just 5%. Israel’s exports grew by 13.6%, while imports grew by 18.7% and private consumption by 11.7%. At the same time, the consumer price index rose by 0.2% in January 2022, and by 3.1% in 2021. Housing prices rose 11.3% in twelve months.

Avidar Resigns New data from Israel’s Central Bureau of Statistics (CBS) showed that the country’s Gross Domestic Product (GDP) grew by 8.1% in 2021, marking the highest financial growth rate since the year 2000, when the GDP grew by 8.4%. The data showed that the fourth quarter of 2021 saw the greatest growth, at 16.6%. According to the Times of Israel,

On Tuesday, Yisrael Beytenu’s Eli Avidar resigned from his ministerial

position in the cabinet. The parliamentarian criticized Prime Minister Naftali Bennett for a “hysterical” approach to virus regulations and said that Bennett is imitating his predecessor and does not plan to honor the rotation deal. Avidar will now return to the Knesset where, since the coalition numbers just 61 of the 120 Knesset members, he could now hold the crucial vote on any legislation. He said he would “do everything I can to ensure this government completes its term,” but added that the government’s survival had to stand for something. “I have submitted my letter of resignation from the government,” Avidar said. “I will continue to work from the Knesset, and I will make sure that this government keeps the promises made to the public that brought it to power.” “I’ll do everything I can so to ensure this government completes its term, but the government’s survival isn’t a value in itself…the government has to fulfill its promises,” he said. “Policy in recent months has made my stay [in the coalition] unbearable.

I waited [with my resignation] so that it was not a shock. I did my best in the current government and now I will do so from the Knesset.” He added, “Bennett does not intend to honor the rotation,” referring to the agreement that will see Foreign Minister Yair Lapid take over as head of the government in September 2023. “The man grew up on Netanyahu and does not intend to free himself of him. He copies him in his every move,” Avidar said. Avidar has been a long-time critic of coronavirus regulations and initially refused to get vaccinated. “Bennett’s hysterical press conference in the shadow of the Omicron destroyed overnight businesses that were just beginning to recover,” Avidar said. “I tried to influence the policy and the conversation from the inside. I met with Bennett twice and I reminded him that this is a historic government, a government of change, and not just a continuation of the Netanyahu government.” The Yisrael Beytenu lawmaker said the coalition was too concerned with “selfies and TikTok videos”

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The Week In News while the opposition was trying to topple the government. “The conservative camp works all year round, but the democratic camp goes to bed the day after the election – both when it is in the coalition and also when it is in the opposition. They take selfies and make cool TikTok videos,” Avidar said. “You don’t win like that.” When Avidar was appointed minister in the Prime Minister’s Office in August 2021, he immediately resigned from the Knesset under the socalled Norwegian Law, which allows ministers and deputy ministers to resign their Knesset seats and be replaced by the next candidate on their party’s electoral slate. Avidar’s return to the Knesset will mean that his replacement from Yisrael Beytenu, Sharon Roffe Ofir, will have to leave the parliament.

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The compromise, long a point of contention between Israel’s government and Diaspora Jewry, would create a permanent pluralistic prayer pavilion at the Jerusalem holy site, with representatives of non-Orthodox streams of Judaism sharing an oversight role. “The Israeli government was turning to the Diaspora Jews for their opinion on how the Kotel should be set up, and the voices of the Reform and Conservative parties were very strong, and we felt that not everybody

was being fairly represented,” Leah Zagelbaum, Agudah’s vice president of communications, who is part of the delegation, told Times of Israel. Zagelbaum noted, “For 150,000 people to all agree on one particular view, I think that’s very, very significant. I’m not denying that emotions run high on both sides,” she said, stressing that the campaign was not meant to stoke tensions around the sensitive issue. “It’s not to demand that anybody pray in a particular way. Reform Jews are welcome at the Kotel,” she clarified. The main issue with the plan is that the oversight over the plaza would be given to a conglomerate of members of groups – including the Reform, Conservative, and Women of the Wall groups. The compromise arrangement, negotiated between Israel and Diaspora leaders over more than three years, was approved by the Benjamin Netanyahu-led government in 2016, but was indefinitely suspended by him in 2017 after his charedi partners threatened to leave the government.

Israeli Navy Joins Int’l Exercise

The Israeli Navy last week wrapped up participation in the U.S. Navy’s IMX exercise, which included dozens of countries, among them several with which Israel does not have formal ties. This was Israel’s first time participating in the International Maritime Exercise. In a statement, Israeli Navy chief David Salama said, “The participation of the Navy in the American exercise demonstrates the strengthening connection between our fleets, based

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The Week In News on power, mutual learning, and strategic partnership. We are coordinated and working together with our American partners to prevent terror in the maritime arena and to strengthen the security of the region’s waters.” U.S. 5th Fleet Commander Admiral Brad Cooper said, “This joint exercise demonstrates our determination to protect international law and order. This is a special opportunity to expand our interoperability as we strengthen our naval ties.” The exercise included over 9,000 people from 60 militaries, the U.S. Navy said. In the IMX exercise, the Israeli Navy says it trained with the 5th Fleet, simulating neutralizing naval mines, above- and under-water search-and-rescue operations, as well as conducting medical exercises at sea. On the Israeli side, the navy’s 3rd Flotilla, which operates missile ships, the 915th Patrol Boats Squadron, and the Unit for Underwater Fighting, known by its Hebrew acronym YALTAM, took part in the exercise, which was held in the Red Sea.

Israeli Prime Minister Naftali Bennett praised the cooperation between the IDF and the U.S. military, and noted the importance of the U.S. 5th Fleet in maintaining regional security in the Persian Gulf and the Middle East generally. Some of the countries that participated in the exercise included Saudi Arabia, Oman, Comoros, Djibouti, Somalia, Yemen, and Pakistan, as well the United Arab Emirates and Bahrain.

Controversial Conversion Bill Approved

The Israeli government on Sunday approved Religious Affairs Min-

ister Matan Kahana’s (Yamina) bill to reform the conversion process, the Times of Israel reported. The bill would allow municipal and regional rabbis to perform conversions in what many say would essentially rubber-stamp even those conversions which are not sincere. In a tweet following the bill’s approval by the Ministerial Committee for Legislation, Kahana wrote, “Together we have taken a step toward preserving the Jewish identity of the State of Israel: a state-sponsored conversion law, in accordance with Jewish law, under the auspices of the rabbinate.” In a letter to government ministers, Israel’s chief rabbis, Sephardic Rabbi Yitzhak Yosef and Ashkenazic Rabbi David Lau, noted, “The government is discussing a law that will have an impact on many citizens and on the entire Israeli society. Making decisions on a topic so sensitive and important as this while ignoring the stance of the chief rabbis and Israel’s rabbinic judges…causes a rift in the nation and will necessarily cause the

formation of disparate communities in Israel.” They added that the bill constitutes “mistreatment of the convert, as anyone who goes through this [conversion] process will not be considered a righteous convert by the majority of rabbis and rabbinical judges of Israel.” The bill now goes to the Knesset plenum, where it must pass three votes in order to become law.

Muslim is Supreme Court Justice The Knesset’s Judicial Appointments Committee on Monday appointed four new Supreme Court justices, among them the court’s first-ever Sephardic woman and Muslim man. The new justices, appointed to the 15-member Supreme Court, were named as Judge Ruth Ronnen, Judge Khaled Kabub, Judge Gila

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The Week In News

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Kanfi-Steinitz and attorney Yechiel Kasher. Kanfi-Steinitz, 63, is vice president of the Jerusalem District Court and will become the Supreme Court’s first female Sephardic justice. Kabub, also 63, is currently vice president of the Tel Aviv District Court and will become the Supreme Court’s first permanent Muslim justice; all other Arab justices have been Christians. Following the appointments, Justice Minister Gideon Sa’ar (New Hope) praised the new justices as “excellent.”

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mittee, headed by Sa’ar, includes Interior Minister Ayelet Shaked (Yamina), Supreme Court Chief Justice Esther Hayut, Supreme Court justices Uzi Vogelman and Yitzhak Amit, Israel Bar Association attorneys Ilana Seker and Muhammad Na’aman, MK Simcha Rothman (Religious Zionism), and MK Efrat Rayten (Labor). In a Facebook post, Shaked wrote, “If I had served as chairman of the committee today, the results would have been different. It is no secret that I wanted to appoint other judges. The chairman of the committee, the justice minister, led a different line, but insisted on the important principle of balance and that there should be two candidates for each [political] side.”

Plan to Use Church-Owned Lands Withdrawn He added, “They were selected according to the three criteria I set: excellence, balance and diversity. A variety of opinions, genders, and ethnic backgrounds. I am responsible for this vital system. I have not received and will not receive grades or dictates from extremist or opposition parties. “Most people understand that the justice system needs repair and not destruction, and appreciate the commitment to preserving Israel as a Jewish and democratic state.” The Judicial Appointments Com-

Israel’s Nature and Parks Authority on Monday said it would withdraw a plan to expand a national park onto church-owned lands in Jerusalem. The plan had been denounced by

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The Businessman and the Lawsuit When Mr. Klein* was summoned to court, he knew what he had to do. He approached a top lawyer firm and begged them to take on his case. It was important that he get the very best representation he could – after all, a couple million dollars were on the line, and Mr. Klein was at a deficit already. The lawyers began their research. Several days before the court date, the lawyers suddenly turned their backs and informed their client that they were not prepared to appear before the judge. Their reason? Mr. Klein had not been able to come up with the steep legal fees they had requested in advance. Mr. Klein found himself at a loss. This was making a difficult trial more complicated. There was no time to begin from scratch with a new legal team. The court date was fast approaching! Mr. Klein would appear in court on his own, without anyone advocating on his behalf – and that spelled certain defeat.

The Week In News local church leaders as a “premeditated attack on the Christians in the Holy Land.” The plan would have expanded the Jerusalem Walls National Park by 68 acres. A spokeswoman for the Nature and Parks Authority said, “There is no intention of advancing the plan in the planning committee, and it is not ready for discussion without coordination and communication with all relevant officials, including the churches, in the area regarding the correct way to preserve this special area.” The City of David Foundation said, “The claims that are being brought against the project are largely spearheaded by organizations with a political agenda that receive large amounts of funding by the European Union with the goal of keeping Jerusalem in a state of neglect and squalor in order to bolster their narrative that Jews and Arabs cannot benefit together under Israeli sovereignty in all of Jerusalem.”

In his heart of hearts, Mr. Klein knew he had only One to rely upon. He would turn to the best advocate directly. He phoned Tehillim Kollel and asked that a minyan recite Tehillim daily on his behalf. He hoped that the potent words of Tehillim would bring about his complete yeshuah. How shocked he was, when merely a half hour later, the head of the legal ﬁrm he had started with called to tell him that they would continue to work on his case if he would commit to coming up with the money within the month. That very same day, he learned that his court case would be pushed oﬀ as well, giving his team more time to adequately prepare.

We beg you to try to spell the name of the world’s newest grandmaster: Rameshbabu Praggnanandhaa. The 16-year-old trounced Magnus Carlsen, 31, on Sunday, beating the world No. 1 during the Airthings

“I’m just very happy,” Pragg said after the stunning win. When asked how he was going to celebrate, Pragg – with days of competition remaining in the tournament – was realistic given how late he was playing games being based in India: “I think it’s about just going to bed. “It’s about time to go to bed, as I don’t think I will have dinner at 2:30 in the morning.” Pragg became the youngest international master in history at age 10. Checkmate.

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Masters. Luckily, Praggnanandhaa is generally called by his nickname, Pragg. He remained cool and collected during the intense competition against the fivetime world champion. This was Pragg’s first victory over Carlsen. He became the youngest player to beat Carlsen since the superstar became World Champion in 2013. He also became only the third Indian grandmaster to win against the Norwegian after Viswanathan Anand and Pentala Harikrishna.

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like the state’s signature crop. The limited-edition scent is made from distilled Idaho potatoes and essential oils and is designed to smell like a fresh plate of French fries. It is called Frites by Idaho.

his six-candy stack. This is not Kelbie’s only record by a long shot. The Australian’s other records include most drumstick flips in 1 minute (98), longest duration spinning a basketball on a pair of spectacles (29.67 seconds), tallest tower of dice stacked on the back of the hand in 30 seconds while blindfolded (13), most dice stacked into a tower in 30 seconds while blindfolded (20), and longest duration spinning a basketball on the nose (9.57 seconds). Clearly, he’s a serial record holder.

“Whether you’re at a drive through restaurant or dining in, it’s near impossible to not grab a fry and take a bite before you dive into your meal. The smell is too good to resist,” IPC President and CEO Jamey Higham said in a news release. “This perfume is a great gift for anyone who can’t refuse a French fry.” Although the $1.89 bottles of the fragrance sold out quickly on the commission’s website, social media users can still enter an Instagram contest to win free bottles. And it’s worth every (s)cent.

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Brendan Kelbie is once again a world record holder. The 22-year-old from Australia was able to stack six M&Ms for ten seconds, breaking Will Cutbill’s record in June 2021 in which Cutbill utilized five confections for his tower. Truthfully, Kelbie was an M&M champion stacker before. The Australian had previously stacked four M&Ms in 2020, matching the record originally set by Italian Silvio Sabba and making him the joint holder of the title. A year later, Cutbill nabbed the title, only to be dethroned by Kelbie this year. “I’ve decided to break this record because I’m a serial record breaker, and I am a versatile world record holder,” Kelbie told Guinness about

What goes up must come down. And that’s what it feels like on this flight: you go up, and then you go down. All in just eight minutes. The flight between the Caribbean islands of Anguilla and Sint Maarten is currently the world’s shortest international commercial flight. Anguilla, a British Overseas Territory just 16 miles long and 3.5 miles wide, is a flat, dry, limestone island fringed by 33 white sand beaches. Its neighbor, Saint Martin, sits just 4.5 miles to the south at its closest point. Split in two, the northern part of the island is an overseas collectivity of France, while the southern part, named Sint Maarten, is a constituent country of the Kingdom of the Netherlands. Anguilla Air Services is the only airline that offers scheduled flights between the two islands. Granted, there’s a boat that offers rides between the islands, but it’s a 25-minute ride and the waters may be choppy. Taking off from Princess Juliana International Airport in Sint Maarten, the aircraft never flies higher than 1,000 feet, with views of turquoise Caribbean waters, the long curves of sandy beaches, and luxurious private villas and resorts. So fasten your seatbelts, folks. You’re in for a really short ride.

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Torah Thought

Hineni!

He regularly rebuked me, because he saw that I did not participate in the pain of others. And these were his constant words to me: This is the entire person. One is not created for himself, but to benefit others with the full extent of his powers.

By Rabbi Zvi Teichman

ver three thousand years ago the first historic large gathering of women took place at the entrance of the Ohel Moed, the Tent of Meeting. When constructing the Mishkan, the Tabernacle, the women desired to make a unique contribution that would memorialize their united effort specifically. The Torah records that the copper Laver, the Kiyor, was comprised exclusively, ‫ —במראות הצֹ באֹ ת‬from the mirrors of the legions of women who massed at the entrance of the Tent of Meeting. ‫לז ח‬ In its most elementary interpretation, the ‘massing of legions’ indicates the women’s dedication to gather together in prayer and allegiance to G-d. We are taught that the reference to legions also alludes to the children who were born amidst the dire circumstances of slavery in Egypt, due to efforts of theses inspired women who continued to beautify themselves for their husbands, buoying their failing spirits and prodding them to maintain

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ace to Nefesh Hachaim, recalls about his illustrious father, the author, Rav Chaim:

family life, bearing ‘legions’ of precious Jewish children. It was the copper mirrors they utilized in adorning themselves, which brought about their remarkable accomplishment, that was donated and used in constructing the Laver. (‫)תנחומא‬ Might there be some connection between the use of these mirrors to preserve family life and the future of the nation, and their objective to pray in unison at the Tent of Meeting? Or are these merely tangential? The Holy Arizal would instruct that one must first reiterate the acceptance of the command to ‘love your fellow as yourself’ as a prerequisite to the daily prayers. Is this simply a device to affect the acceptance of one’s request by incorporating in within the needs of the greater Jewish community, adding to one’s prayers the merit and proper intentions of others worthier and more capable? Rav Itzele Volozhiner in the pref-

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Similarly, the famed Gaon, Rav Shimon Shkop writes in his introduction to Shaarei Yosher: Blessed shall be the Creator, and exalted shall be the Maker, Who created us in His ‘Image’ and in the likeness of His ‘Structure’, and planted eternal life within us, so that our greatest desire should be to do good to others, to individuals and to the masses, now and in the future, in imitation of the Creator, as it were. For everything He created and formed was according to His Will, only to be good to the creations. So too, His Will is that we walk in His ways. As it says, “and you shall walk in His ways”, that we, the select of what He made should constantly hold as our purpose to sanctify our physical and spiritual powers for the good of the many, according to our abilities. Have you ever viewed a photograph of yourself and felt that it doesn’t depict you accurately? The truth is we perceive what we look like based on viewing ourselves in the mirror each morning as we groom ourselves to meet the day. Throughout the day we often catch a glimpse of ourselves, to straighten our ties, touch up our makeup, wipe off a smudge, or just to observe how we look. But a mirror doesn’t reflect an accurate depiction of how we look and are perceived by others. The mirror reflects our left side making it appear as our right. If you have a pimple on the left side of your face in the mirror image it is on the right of the ‘person’ you are facing. The lens of a camera however presents it correctly, often befuddling us with the unfamiliar contrast. Evidently G-d created the physical world in a way that a person cannot ever ‘see himself’ precisely. Although

a painting or a photograph conveys an image properly, but that is merely pigment or chemicals used to capture a replica of the way light accurately bounces off our faces. It is not the original light, as a mirror reflects — merely a reproduction. Perhaps in this phenomena G-d was seeking to teach us that we don’t exist for ourselves. Our being and essence is to be captured solely in the eyes of those we are here to benefit. That is the only thing that defines us, making us worthy of the privilege of being a ‫צלם אלקים‬, an Image of G-d. When we stand before G-d in prayer, we are not just petitioning him with our request, we are presenting our total being before Him, professing total allegiance to His will, asserting our faith in His total mastery of our fate, asking that He bless us with the properties we need to carry out that will. These mighty women taught the world that ‘vanity’ was never their name. They understood that a mirror is merely a tool to utilize in promoting one’s persona as to benefit others. They demonstrated by donating these instruments to be used in the Laver that would be the first stop in the daily of service a Kohen in washing his hands and feet in preparation of his duty, leaving a message for all generations that we are not here for self-gratification, but rather to emulate the Creator, in seeking to assist others for their benefit. Only then can we assert our request before the Almighty that he grant us the wherewithal to fulfill that mission. The need to assert our commitment to love our fellow man prior to prayer was to give testament to that very notion that our goal in this world is to benefit others, and only with that attitude will we be deserving of G-d’s benevolence. Several years ago, while visiting Israel I heard a powerful story from the renowned and beloved Rav Yitzchok Zilberstein. There was a child who took suddenly ill and required a very delicate and lengthy surgery in order to survive. The family enlisted one of the renowned surgeons in Israel, who

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specialized in this field, to perform the operation and arranged an exact time and place it would it occur. The father of the child was quite anxious as the time for the dangerous surgery approached and there was no sign of the doctor coming. Time slowly ticked away when after six grueling hours of waiting the surgeon finally arrived. In his frustration and pent-up anger, the desperate father blurted out to the late arriving Doctor, “If it were your child would you come six hours late!” The physician maintained his composure, apologized quietly for his delay, and quickly prepared for the arduous task ahead. After a long and agonizing time, the surgeon appeared, sharing with the family the good news that the surgery was greatly successful. Sometime later the family discovered what had actually led the surgeon to arrive so late. Apparently, this secular doctor’s son was killed in a terrorist attack that very morning. The doctor attended to the funeral and burial of his beloved son. Yet upon the conclusion of the traumatic interment remembered that he had a duty to fulfill,

a benefit to bring to others, despite the pain and anguish he had just endured. “Who is like Your nation…”, Rav Zilberstein exclaimed upon sharing this story, emphasizing the challenge the doctor must have endured to remain absolutely focused on the delicate surgery, not permitting his personal emotions to interfere. So often in life we squander the opportunities to benefit others that G-d sends our way, while we distractedly get lost in our own selfish needs, absorbed in our proverbial mirrors trying to paint over the blemishes that stain our faces. As I was heading out to airport at the end of that trip, my wife and I met in the hotel lobby a lovely couple we had met there during our stay, asking them where they had spent the last Shabbos as I hadn’t noticed them over Shabbos. They shared that they lodged at a different hotel, closer to the Old City, and then retold a story that had just taken place over Shabbos.

After davening, the hotel serves a grand kiddush/breakfast for their guests. Being a popular hotel, the dining room was packed with nary an empty table. They spotted a family sitting at a long table with two seats available at the other end. Not wanting to encroach but with no other option available, they quietly moved towards the table asking politely if it was okay to sit there. Naturally everybody loves their privacy, and although they consented their body language conveyed some discomfort. The husband of the couple, a charming and gregarious individual broke the ice and initiated the classic game of Jewish geography. Sure enough, the two men had acquaintances in common and the air began to warm. The father of the family then turned to the wife of his newfound ‘friend’ and asked her where she was originally from. She modestly responded that she was fortunate to be the daughter of the indefatigable Rebbetzin Esther Jungreis, famed for her pioneering efforts in the world of Kiruv, who brought thousands ‘back home’. Upon mentioning this she notices the man is visibly shaken. She kindly asks him if he is okay, and he responds by telling her that her moth-

er was the very person who made them frum, who was the catalyst for the beautiful family that now graced ‘their’ table. Rebbetzin Jungreis would have certainly numbered prominently among the ‘legions of women who massed at the entrance of the Tent of Meeting’. She understood no doubt the message of the mirrors. Presenting oneself in dignity and grace is not an exercise in self-promotion, but an ability to utilize those qualities in benefiting others. One doesn’t have to be a woman to emulate these legions of righteous souls. May we recognize every opportunity that comes our way, as a gift from G-d to emulate His ways. For after all is said in done, one is not created for himself, but to benefit others with the full extent of his powers! You may reach the author at: Ravzt@ohelmoshebaltimore.com

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Adar A 28

Adar A 21

Tuesday Tuesday

Adar B 19

Adar B 12

Ohr Hamizrach Dinner see pages 5

Adar Alef/Adar Beis

Monday Adar A 20

Adar A 27

@9 see pg 29

Adar B 4

Hilchos Shabbos Shiur R’ Heinemann

21 Adar A 22

Adar A 29

see page 61

Adar B 6

Adar B 20

Taanis Esther

Adar B 13

@8 see pages 29

N’Shei Agudath Israel Purim Shiur by R’ Goldfeiz

@9:05 see pages 29

Chizku 22/N’Shei Shiur by R’ Shlomo Weingot

Keys to Success Aging

Wednesday Wednesday

2022 February/March Adar A 26

Adar A 19

Sunday 20

27 Shoresh Auction

Adar B 3

Netzach Yosroel/N’Shei Purim Shiur by Jaclyn Sova @10:15am see pg 29

6 WIT Purim Shiur see pages 45 Kehillas Tiferes Yisroel Campaign see pages 3

Adar B 11

Adar B 10

Hilchos Shabbos Shiur R’ Heinemann

@1 See pg 44

Daylight Savings Time Begins

Adar B 17

WIT Pre-Purim Virtual Tour of Ancient Persia

THE BALTIMORE JEWISH HOME

FEBRUARY 24, 2022

7:05 PM

Adar B 22

6:58 PM

Shushan Purim

Adar B 15

5:51 PM

Adar B 8

5:44 PM

‫ראש חודש‬

Adar B 1

5:36 PM

Adar A 24

Friday Friday

Adar A 25

Adar B 2

6:29 PM

Adar B 9

6:51 PM

Adar B 16

6:51 PM

7:58 PM

Adar B 23

‫פרשת שמיני‬

‫פרשת צו‬

‫שבת זכור‬ ‫פרשת ויקרא‬

‫פרשת פקודי‬

‫שבת שקלים‬ ‫מברכים החודש‬ ‫ פרשת ויקהל‬6:43 PM

Saturday Saturday

Community Calendar

‫ראש חודש‬

Adar A 30

Next BJH Issue

Adar A 23

Thursday Thursday 24

Adar B 14

Next BJH Issue

Adar B 7

see page 51

Dirshu Siyum

Mrs. Jackie Bitton see page 23

Adar B 21

Purim 24

Next BJH Issue

To have your future event listed in the Community Calendar please contact Ads@BaltimoreJewishHome.com

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My Israel Home The Critically Essential Bank Guarantee When I established My Israel Home over a decade ago, I thought that my company would focus exclusively on selling existing homes and not new projects under construction. The thinking was simple: there is less guesswork buying an existing property and there is usually a much shorter waiting period to gain possession of the home. However, thankfully the Israeli population is growing and there is simply not enough existing housing to satiate tremendous buyer demand. Consequently, over the years, we have sold hundreds of homes “on paper” – in new projects under construction, and these sales now account for about half of our sales brokerage activity. Buying on paper presents purchasers the opportunity to (1) design the unit to their particular needs and tastes, (2) receive amenities not found in older buildings, such as parking, elevators and storage rooms, (3) acquire

an earthquake-resistant home (older homes were built to lower construction standards), (4) get up to a seven-year warranty, and (5) often purchase at a significant discount. Years ago, the concept of buying on paper was fraught with challenges, as some developers did not adhere to contractual obligations and buyers in those projects would wait an inordinate period of time to receive their homes. The straw that broke the camel’s back was the 2007 bankruptcy of Heftzibah Construction Company. One of the nation’s largest developers, Heftzibah had been involved in some unlawful business activities, and its collapse tragically left many families financially devastated. In response to this incident, the government instituted a number of reforms to protect buyers. We will focus on one particular issue, bank guarantees, which had been in place prior to Heftziba but was

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Jerusalem project under construction (Gedaliah Borvick)

more stringently monitored after that debacle. If a developer wants to sell apartments under construction, the general law is that they cannot sell any unit until the project is completed and registered in the land registry (known as “TABU”) - unless the buyer’s money is protected. There are three ways in which the builder can protect the purchaser’s funds; for this article we will focus on the bank guarantee, which is the most prevalent option. The developer pays a financial institution to give buyers a bank guarantee, which protects every shekel that buyers pay for their apartment (with the exception of the VAT portion of the price, which is secured by the government). Generally, If the developer becomes insolvent, then the buyer can exercise the guarantee and receive his/her money back – including any construction index linkage payments made by the buyer. The system works: In a recent situation where the builder declared bankruptcy, the bank hired another builder to complete the project at the same technical specifications that were attached to the contract, and the bank covered all additional costs that were required to complete the project. Obviously, the bank does not want the builder to become insolvent and therefore employs several practices to safeguard the project’s financial health: (1) The developer cannot sign

a contract of sale unless the bank approves the purchase price. (2) All of the buyer’s payments are deposited directly to a bank account controlled by the bank giving the guarantee – no money may ever be given directly to the builder – and the bank pays the builder only after the builder has submitted bills and the bank’s engineer has confirmed that the work was properly completed. (3) The developer is unable to receive profits until the project is completed. (4) The financial institution retains a portion of the funds for the duration of the seven-year warranty period to cover any warranty-related problems, should the developer fail to properly remedy the issue. The silver lining to the unfortunate Heftzibah collapse is that, due to subsequently implemented legislation, buyers have greater protection than ever. If one chooses a project and developer wisely, buying on paper can be an excellent home-purchasing opportunity. Gedaliah Borvick is the founder of My Israel Home, a real estate agency focused on helping people from abroad buy homes in Israel. Gedaliah will be running a program in Shomrei Emunah on Wednesday evening, March 9th. For more information, please see his ad or contact him at gborvick@gmail.com.

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Give your Shalach Manos AND Help Baltimore’s Needy

it’s in the

FEBRUARY 24, 2022

Make your Shalach Manos even more meaningful by helping your neighbors in need at the same time.

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FEBRUARY 24, 2022

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It is prefe rab gif ts le ‫ פורים‬to the to sp en ,‫ סעודת מנות‬poor tha d mor ‫( משלוח‬purim n on e on No the joy (gifts Feas of fo t) or on than is grea od) ter for… hear the jo or m y of ts of ore gl the gl wido the po addeni or ious or, ng ws, the the and or ph ‫י”ז‬:‫ב‬ the ans, ‫מגילה‬ st ra ’‫הל‬ nger ‫ב”ם‬ s. ‫רמ‬

A Pu Prrim oceeco dist dist dsnt rib rib rib ututed fro on edon mutthion Pu is ca w hi mad rim as Pu Mat rd ch rim eda anos w illw ill DaL’e in ouiny,yo to be y vy be r co urheho lp th ha s im on mm no e ne be en unity r by ed y .

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from this card will be distributed as Matanos L’evyonim on Purim day, to help the needy in our community.

Available at: B’Dazzle • 7 Mile Market • Shabsi’s • Maven Market • Shomrei Suburban Orthodox • Bnai Jacob Shaarei Zion and other locations around town Ahavas Yisrael Charity Fund (410) 358-2525 • (410) 764-6020 • (410) 358-4464 115 Sudbrook Lane, Suite E • Baltimore, MD 21208 Email: eli@ahavasyisrael.org • Donate online: www.ahavasyisrael.org

elp

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It is pre fera ble gif ts to the to spend ‫פורים‬ poo ‫עודת‬ r tha more on ‫ס‬ ,‫מנות‬ n ‫( שלוח‬purim Fea on the ‫( מ‬gif No joy st) or ts of is gre food) on tha n ater for… or mo the joy of hea re rts of gladde gloriou the s the ning poo wid the r, the ows, orphan and the s, ‫י”ז‬:‫ב‬ stra ‫מגילה‬ nge ’‫מב”ם הל‬ rs.

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A Pu rim Pro ceeco disdis dsntr trib froibu trib m tio ute ute thisn wh on Pur ddon as Pu Matan cardich willwil maim deday, rim bel be Day to he os L’ev ha s in ouin you be lp the yon r com r ho nor ne imen munit by ed y y.

Ahavas Yisrael Charity Fund (410) 358-2525 • (410) 764-6020 • (410) 358-4464 115 Sudbrook Lane, Suite E • Baltimore, MD 21208 Email: eli@ahavasyisrael.org • Donate online: www.ahavasyisrael.org

Scratc to see h off if you the midd ’re on le e of ha menta our specia sh below l win ners.

W W W.T H E B J H . C O M

Accents Adina B Cosmetics A to Z Savings B’Dazzle Bryna Designs Caramel’s Pizza Computer Care MD Covered with Style

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THE BALTIMORE JEWISH HOME

FEBRUARY 24, 2022

COOKBOOKS: DON’T JUDGE A BOOK BY ITS GENRE My husband and I were considering our Shalach Monos theme options. I wanted to make Indian food. I figured we’d start with Hodu (India) and celebrate a different country each year until we arrived at Kush (Ethiopia). Based on the idea that Esther, as wife to King Achashveirosh, was the queen over 127 provinces, we’d be set for the next 126 years! My out-of-town Chevrusa (learning partner) arranged for me to borrow a few of her fascinating cookbooks on Indian Jewish cooking. Who knew there was such a thing!? I learned about the Jews of India and garam masala, an authentic Indian spice, and how hard it was to obtain kosher versions of those traditional Indian spices, especially in Cleveland. So, we toned it down (a lot!) and sent a much simpler saffron rice and a small bottle of flavored vodka. Those Indian cookbooks certainly broadened my cultural horizons.

As the well-known adage goes, “The way to a culture’s heart is through its stomach.” The ethnic variety of the traditional cooking in our Jewish world astounds the mind. From the range of the different Sephardic communities to the variety of European ones, cookbooks of each cuisine open our minds and open our hearts to Jews of all stripes. They can unify us as a people as we each become familiar with other sections of our community through the foods that we eat. If we are researching our own history, we will connect to our own past. If we research that of others, well then, we will connect to them as well. The Spice and Spirit cookbooks or today’s equivalent, the Bais Yaakov cookbooks - are often our trusty kitchen companions. We find recipes that our families have enjoyed for generations. Sometimes, the book simply falls open to the pages of those triedand-true recipes, the ones we go back to again and again. You know which pages – the ones with the oil stains and

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the little crumbs stuck on. A cookbook can also focus us on life’s small precious moments. A cookbook may remind you of a special food you ate years ago. With special people. On a special day. During a special conversation. When we were dating, my husband and I were eating at the then-trendy kosher vegetarian Greener Pastures. Do you remember that restaurant? It was near Bloomingdale’s on Manhattan’s Upper East Side. I was waxing eloquent about the title recipe from The Enchanted Broccoli Forest, a cookbook from the proprietress of The Moosewood Restaurant, of counter-culture fame. This was very trendy at the time. Did I say that already? To be honest, I was going on and on -- about how cute the broccoli florets would look on a bed of brown rice. He seemed to hesitate and then he asked me, “Do you know how to make chicken soup?” “Yes.” I smiled. “That’s good.” He also smiled. And looked relieved. He also promised me he would try anything I make once. Even the stranger foods. And he has! A soup cookbook will warm our hearts on a cold winter day. The very picture of steam from a tureen, with the ladle at-the-ready, evokes the hearth, the table, the aroma … the opportunity to gather with family and with friends …the ultimate comfort food. Do you enjoy your soup piping hot? And, in the summer, reading the recipes of iced desserts will cool our bodies, in an exceptionally non-caloric way. That refreshing feeling reminds us of summer vacations, with no care, and all the time in the world.

A newer, more modern cookbook is fun-to-read, creative and inspirational. A cake-in-a-mug cookbook combines the seemingly contradictory values of today – speed and comfort. How very 2022! We may dream about producing the fantastic pictures in the new cookbooks and we don’t even have to lift a finger. Dreams can be satisfying, even the ones that don’t materialize. We will internalize the creativity of the cuisine, the styling, the design. A cookbook can bring us to tears as it evokes the aromas of our youth. “I had no idea even how to make a good soup. I do not remember exactly what my mother looked like, but I remembered the smell of her chicken soup. I worked on it till I felt I had my Mom in my kitchen.” From the “Holocaust Survivor’s Cookbook” Are “Cookbooks” a genre of literature? I have been thinking about this since JWOW! hosted “The Joy of Books”, an interactive Zoom program in the fall. If cookbooks were just compilations of lists of ingredients with directions, then perhaps not. But cookbooks are so much more. Food is an essential part of our identity, our emotions and our moods. And, therefore, cookbooks enrich our lives. By helping us explore culture and history, they connect us to who we are, who we were and who we aspire to be. I vote “yes!” Cookbooks are a genre of our literature. Happy reading! Sara Brejt, a current resident of Baltimore and a teacher at Women’s Institute of Torah, has worked as an attorney, in kiruv and as a career coach. She is a co-founder of JWOW!, Jewish Women of Wisdom, a community of frum midlife women, which can be accessed at www.jewishwomenofwisdom.org

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OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home

Parenting Pearls

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THE BALTIMORE JEWISH HOME

FEBRUARY 24, 2022

The Importance of Writing By Sara Rayvych, MSEd

riting is one of those subjects that I think gets relegated to the antique section of skills in light of modern technology. With so much being computerized, there are many subjects that were crucial in our day – way back when we rode dinosaurs to class – that are now not in use as much. I’d like to suggest that writing isn’t in that category. Even more than that, I feel strongly that writing is more important today than it was way back when. As an unrelated side point, I really do miss my dinosaur; the view from up there was incredible. When we discuss writing there are a few options that come to mind that we kind of lump together. It’s similar to the term “English language arts,” which often contains everything from actual literature to correct grammatical structure. I’ll briefly discuss a few of the subjects that are relevant but not the main feature of today’s topic. I truly hope this doesn’t get me into too much trouble, as this may draw some opposing opinions. Most importantly, please note that I’m not suggesting whether it’s good or bad that some subjects are, in my personal opinion, more or less used than they were previously. Some of what I’m relaying is what I’ve also heard from various therapists and other educators. Additionally, I’m focusing both on what’s relevant to today’s adults in addition to our modern-day youngsters.

English Subjects Handwriting still has an important place in our lives since we use it so often. That being said, it’s less purposeful than it used to be. Typing is becoming more and more commonplace than writing with a pen or pencil. Script or cursive writing is considered downright antiquated and is generally no longer in the curriculum. Spelling still has a place, but with typing being so common, even many adults rely on spellcheck. Spellcheck, though, is not able to replace the hu-

man mind since there are so many variations and similar words in the English language, but it is definitely a useful tool for those who find this subject challenging. Grammar is similar to spelling in that we have quality programs that are only getting ever better at recognizing the nuances of the complicated English language. It’s rather surprising how many errors this nifty device will pick up on. That being said, it, too, requires a bit of grammatical knowledge to decide whether or not the program is accurate. On a somewhat relevant note, I’d like to give a quick thank you to the incredible team at TJH. As much as my Chromebook may catch errors, it’s certainly not a replacement for the expertise of someone who is exceptionally proficient in grammar. It’s the small changes they make that enhances what you read each week. They are proof of the benefit that experience and knowledge in grammar contribute to a written piece. While I might mention here the lesser role that spelling and grammar play than when I was in school, it is in no way an indication that these skills have gone into extinction. This will be discussed more further in the article.

More Important Than Ever It occurred to me that with modern methods of communication, knowing how to write is more important than

ever. Think of how most modern communication is done. In-person meetings and phone calls are slowly being replaced by emails, text messaging, and group chats. This was the trend pre-pandemic and has only been amplified in our current reality. My husband, like many, suddenly found his office-based job become exclusively remote. To the surprise of many of us, this was rather successful and is only becoming more and more prevalent. Many companies are finding that employees prefer not commuting while having increased flexibility, among the many benefits of remote work. The employers themselves don’t need to maintain a physical office and the inconveniences that come with it, such as staff being unable to come in during snowstorms and absences for minor sick days. Who knew that driving in standstill traffic during rush hour wasn’t fun for anyone? I’m continuously surprised by how often I’m asked for my email or text information when traditionally a phone call would be placed. Whether we like it or not, verbal communication is often being replaced by written messages. I’ve found this to be true with friends, family, physicians, and even rabbanim. Knowing how to write coherently is crucial to function optimally in both personal and business situations.

First Impressions It’s important that our children un-

derstand how to write appropriately. Right or wrong, people judge us based on our writing. An email may be the first impression someone forms of us. If it’s filled with errors, then we’re not showing our best self. Additionally, poorly written material is just plain difficult to understand and takes away from the message we’re trying to convey. Children who are learning to read are often so focused on decoding the words that they are unable to comprehend them. You don’t want your, or your child’s, writing to be similarly challenging to others.

Emotional Release Writing out your feelings can be extremely therapeutic. Children, particularly teens, get very emotional and being able to write out those frustrations can be a healthy way to release them. Even just putting their thoughts and emotions to paper and then throwing them out can be beneficial. Writing can also be a helpful way to tell another person you’re hurt when you’re having trouble saying it nicely. A discussion that can quickly become heated in person can often be explained more calmly in writing. This can be one way for a child to respectfully express themselves to a parent or teacher or share their concerns with a sibling or friend. The process of writing, rewriting, and editing allows a person to more coherently express their frustrations while avoiding saying things they will later regret.

Writing Carefully Parents need to be mechanech their child in all aspects of life, including writing. I am not referring to basic writing skills since schools teach that. Parents certainly can help and encourage their youngsters to write outside of assigned classwork, such as a letter or email to a grandparent. No, what I’m discussing here is learning to communicate with derech eretz in writing.

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FEBRUARY 24, 2022

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FEBRUARY 24, 2022

48 Children need to learn respectful writing skills. Every written piece should be reviewed at least once in its entirety before hitting send. Besides checking for errors – particularly with autocorrect making its own mistakes – they should ensure that each message is respectful, uses appropriate language (i.e. no cursing or crude language) and won’t hurt someone’s feelings. Of course, the halachos of lashon hara and motzei shem ra apply. It’s easy to forget that what we send is received by another. Too often, people feel free to text what they would never say in-person. Feelings can be hurt even worse by the written word since the message can be read again and again. Be aware that chat rooms are similar but, in my personal opinion, even more concerning as they are group settings. Please note that I am not encouraging the use of any particular technology, but I’d be foolish to think that most children aren’t already exposed to and using them. As our children so

easily have access to email and texting, their chinuch needs to include the appropriate usage of these devices. Knowing their particular child, parents can decide the correct approach to educating their children in this matter. There are various options, and we have wonderful organizations in our

Right or wrong, people judge us based on our writing.

community that can best assist parents in maximizing the safety of any device in their home. Creating and teaching healthy limits is important in all aspects of parenting, and this is certainly no different.

The Upside to Technology I mentioned above that technology

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has changed how we look at writing, particularly spelling and grammar. In addition to the challenges, there can be a serious benefit to these technologies. Many people were deterred from expressing themselves because of their inability to spell or punctuate appropriately or due to messy

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handwriting. These challenges are no longer a hindrance. A young man I know was hesitant to take classes that involved writing. With a little encouragement, he was able to use the dictation feature to complete high level work. He then moved on to typing with spellcheck and grammar check. Classes and opportunities

that were once impossible are now the reality for children like him. We can encourage our children to use these technologies, when necessary, to assist them as they begin to write on their own. Rather than being distracted by grammatical nuances, our budding authors can focus more on expressing their thoughts. Writing is such an important and beneficial skill, one that will help our children succeed now and in the future. Rather than being outdated, writing has taken on a prominent role in our modern-day existence. Let’s help our children properly harness the ability to turn their speech and thoughts into something worth reading and sharing.

Sara Rayvych, MSEd, has her master’s in general and special education. She has been homeschooling for over 10 years in Far Rockaway. She can be contacted at RayvychHomeschool@gmail.com.

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OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home

Teen Talk

By Daniella Quinn

Dear Teen Talk,

Teen Talk , column in

a new

TJH, is geared to wards the teens in o ur commu nity. Answered by a rotati ng roster of teachers, rebbeim, clinicians , an d peers (!), te ens will b e hearing answers to many que stions the had perco y lating in th eir minds wished th an d ey had th e answers for.

I am in eighth grade in a really good school in town. I was always a good student and am conscientious about my work. I listen in class and do my homework. But since November I noticed that I feel like I can barely keep up. I come home with loads of work and am overwhelmed. I dread doing homework – I have work in almost every subject every night and we have a few tests every week. I also go to a dance class (which I love) but that also adds to my schedule.

I am still doing well in school but the feeling of being overwhelmed is still with me every night. Also, I am taking the math regent this year and am feeling really stressed about that. What can I do? Does it get any easier? Am I doing something wrong to make me always feel overwhelmed? No one else seems to be feeling this way.

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he ﬁrst thing I would like you to do is realize that it is completely normal to feel overwhelmed. You have described a heavy workload from school, and it sounds like you value not only completing the work but doing it well. If I was in your place, I can only imagine the amount of frustration I would be feeling with all the work that has to be done sitting before me, and because of that, I am so proud of you that have not given up. In these situations, it may be tempting to stop trying altogether because we think that is what will make us stop feeling overwhelmed. The truth is, giving up doesn’t do us much good. I want to go back to where you mentioned that you are still doing well in school – right there, that’s where you told me that the issue is not that you are unable to do it. You are a bright and motivated girl who works hard and that is something you should be proud of. Many of us tend to forget our own strengths when we

are challenged, and we forget that these challenges are only meant to make us stronger. When we remember what we are capable of, we begin to believe in ourselves more and it becomes easier to tackle whatever it is we are dealing with. Of course, the fact that you are feel-

I think it serves a diﬀerent purpose. Now I’m going to go on a bit of a food tangent, but stick with me, it’s all going to come together, I promise. Imagine I told you that we were going to be making chicken pot pie. It sounds like a very complex dish compared to

When we remember what we are capable of, we begin to believe in ourselves more and it becomes easier to tackle whatever it is we are dealing with. ing overwhelmed is never a good thing, but there are ways to deal with it. In this speciﬁc case, where the idea of everything you have to get done is just too much, I would recommend a to-do list. You might be thinking that there’s no need for a to-do list because you can remember everything that needs to be done without it, but

your average scrambled eggs or even a simple batch of cookies. However, when I hand you the recipe, the directions do not say to “make the pie,” rather it breaks down the process into simple steps which your younger sister could probably do. The idea that I’m trying to share with you is that when we have a lot that we know has to be done, the mere thought can bring a lot

The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 29, 2015

Are you a teen with a question? If you have a question or problem you’d like our columnists to address, email your question or insight to editor@fivetownsjewishhome.com, subject line: Teen Talk.

have to ﬁgure out what works for you and asking for help is always a great start. It’s important to remember that you have support all around you – from friends, family, and teachers, too. On that note, if you don’t feel like the stress is going away, it’s a great idea to speak to your parents as well as your teachers to see if they can help and be open to the help they have to oﬀer. I wish you much hatzlacha!

FEBRUARY 24, 2022

your day keeping track of all that you got done, rather than stressing about what needs to be done. Of course, these are not foolproof solutions, and you may even need to give it a bit of time before you see a difference, but I think it is worthwhile to give it a try. There are going to be times in life where you will feel overwhelmed, and that’s okay. In these situations, you

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of stress; you don’t know where to begin. You can sit down working on one subject for homework thinking about all the other work that’s waiting for you, but there’s a better option. When you write down all that you plan on getting done that night, you are setting it all out for yourself, making it easier for you to work on one thing without the worry that you’ll forget about everything else. My second favorite thing about a todo list is that you can cross things oﬀ. It is an amazing feeling to watch the list get shorter as you check oﬀ all that you accomplished. I believe that you will feel more proud of yourself as you go through

Daniella is originally from Houston, Texas, and recently moved to Baltimore, Maryland, after a year of seminary in Israel. She currently works in a school while studying for a degree in psychology.

Engagements

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Pinchas Oshinsky (Baltimore/Lakewood) to Nechama Levin (Baltimore) Nosson Berlin (Scranton) to Yehudis Markowitz (Baltimore) Nissi Steingroot to Dassi Shafran (Both Baltimore) Yosef Engelsburg to Baila Pollack (Both Baltimore) Chaim Ozer Weitzner (Flatbush) to Sora Leah Kinzer (Baltimore) Gavriel Koshkerman (Baltimore) to Hodaya Yaffa (Brooklyn) Itzik Golfeiz (Baltimore) Sarah Dayani (LA) Yehuda Leib Rubelow (Lakewood) to Chana Horowitz (Baltimore)

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The Rebbeim and Teachers are always there for me.

Mental Health Corner Memory Reconsolidation By Rabbi Azriel Hauptman

MRS. MASHA KAGANOVICH, ST LOUIS PARK, MN

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There is a saying that you forget what you want to remember and you remember what you want to forget. You want to remember about your appointment at the doctor tomorrow. Without a reminder, you will possibly forget all about it. You might have had a traumatic experience many years ago and you do not want the memory to haunt you, but somehow it can be very hard to forget. This simple concept has underpinnings in the complexities of the neurobiology of memory formation and is at the root of many long-term effects of traumatic events. Many people develop phobias based on a traumatic event that occurred earlier in their life. For example, someone who was bit by a dog may develop cynophobia – fear of dogs. Someone who was bullied as a child might develop certain fears or anxieties because of their experience. These psychological phenomena are rooted in the nature of the neural connections in your brain. We have well over 100 trillion connections between the neurons in our brain, and how memories are encoded can determined how the memories affects us. In this article, we will focus on one aspect of memory and that is the theory of memory reconsolidation. The concept of memory reconsolidation is that when a long-term memory is recalled, the memory becomes unstable and requires a new recording into your long-term memory. Since the memory is being rewritten, it can experience a modification. Let us give a real-life example of this phenomenon. Shimon had a very embarrassing experience when he was 13 years old. As he was walking up to the podium to deliver a speech at his Bar Mitzvah, he tripped, fell down, and his hat flew into the sesame chicken. Shimon was mortified. His father gently told him, “One day, you will look back at this event and you will find it amusing.” Shimon’s father unknowingly was conveying the concept of memory reconsolidation. As time goes on, whenever Shimon recalls the memory, he can frame it and rewrite it in a new context. What at the time was embarrassing and somewhat traumatic becomes an amusing memory.

The memory ceases to be traumatic and will not be triggering for Shimon. Since memory is not static, we constantly reframe and adjust the nature of our memory each time we recall and rewrite the memory. This can also have the opposite effect as well. If you have had a traumatic experience, it is common to feel the emotions of that memory and experience a visceral reaction whenever you recall the memory. In essence, you are rewriting the memory with more and more layers of emotion and feeling each time you recall the memory. Over time, this can have very negative consequences. Additionally, you can give new context to the memory that can cause the memory to become more traumatic. For example, Levi was abused when he was eleven years old. Many years later, when Levi’s own son turned eleven, he realized the magnitude of the abuse that an eleven year old experiences. Colloquially, we would say that Levi was retraumatized. Neurologically, we would say that the memory went through reconsolidation. Levi’s new understanding of the nature of his trauma, caused the memory to be rewritten with additional layers of context and meaning. Levi’s memory is now more traumatic. Many forms of trauma therapy are based on the theory of memory reconsolidation as they attempt to help you rewrite the memory with a new context that will transform the way you view your trauma. In conclusion, we are not computers. Although a computer file can remain unchanged virtually forever, our memories are not that way. It is what makes us human. This is a service of Relief Resources. Relief is an organization that provides mental health referrals, education, and support to the frum community. Rabbi Yisrael Slansky is director of the Baltimore branch of Relief. He can be contacted at 410-448-8356 or at yslansky@reliefhelp.org

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TJH

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Centerfold

Just Keep Truckin’ On... Match the trucker’s lingo to its explanation… to see if you are qualified to join a convoy 1. Alligator

A. How to call another driver

2. Bear

B. A driver who constantly changes lanes

3. Bear bait

C. Baltimore

4. Black eye

D. A speeding vehicle which can be used to protect the other speeding vehicles behind it

5. Bubba

E. Very strong coffee

6. Chicken coop

F. A headlight out

7. Hammer lane 8. Green stamps

G. Motorcyclist without a helmet H. The left, passing lane of traffic

9. Greasy side up

I. A driver who speeds up and slows down with great frequency

10. Gear Jammer

J. Diesel

11. Motion lotion

K. A weigh station

12.Parking lot

L. Taking a restroom break

13. Pay the water bill

M. Roadkill on the side of the road

14. Road pizza

N. A piece of tire on the road

15. Skins

O. Disregard last information

16. 10-4

P. Lumbar

17. Toothpicks

Q. Police officer

18. Charm City

R. Money

19. Lost Wages

S. Message received

20. 10-26

T. Las Vegas

21. Hundred mile coffee

U. Tires

22. Organ Donor

V. A vehicle that’s flipped over

23. Fighter pilot

W. An auto transporter

Answers:; 1. N; 2. Q; 3. D; 4. F; 5. A; 6. K; 7. G; 8. R; 9. V; 10. I; 11. J; 12. W; 13. L; 14. M; 15. U; 16. S; 17. P; 18. C; 19. T; 20. O; 21. E; 22. G; 23. B

FEBRUARY 24, 2022

You Gotta Be Kidding Me ! A truck loaded with thousands of copies of Roget’s Thesaurus crashed yesterday losing its entire load. Witnesses were stunned, startled, aghast, taken aback, stupefied, confused, shocked, rattled, paralyses, dazed, bewildered, mixed up, surprised, awed, dumbfounded, nonplussed, flabbergasted, astounded, amazed, confounded, astonished, overwhelmed, horrified, numbed, speechless, and perplexed.

The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 29, 2015

1. Which company has the largest fleet of tractor-trailers in the U.S.? a. Amazon b. Pepsi c. Walmart d. Coke

3. Approximately how many miles in total does the U.S. trucking industry in the U.S. drive each year? a. 100,000 million b. 450,000 million c. 2 billion d. 140 billion

4. Which state has the most truck drivers? a. b. c. d.

Texas California Florida Wyoming

5. What is the lifespan of the average truck engine nowadays? a. b. c. d.

500,000 miles 1 million miles 3 million miles 5 million miles

a. b. c. d.

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7. How many miles does the average trucker in the U.S. drive per year? a. b. c. d.

25,000 40,000 100,000 500,000

FEBRUARY 24, 2022

2. According to federal law, for how many hours a day is a truck driver permitted to drive? a. 8 b. 9 c. 11 d. 14

6. What is the average hourly wage for people in the trucking industry?

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Trucker’s Trivia

8. What is the average weight of a tractor-trailer truck? a. b. c. d.

80,000 pounds 200,000 pounds 500,000 pounds 1.2 million pounds

Answers: 1. B; 2. C; 3. D; 4. A; 5. B; 6. B; 7. C; 8. A Wisdom Key: 6-8 correct: Great job, Bubba! 3-5 correct: Not bad! You can driver= a box-truck but stay away from the big-rigs. 0-2 correct: You have serious black eye, in the trucker’s lingo sense – there’s a headlight out…in your head!

A large truck is crossing a bridge that is one mile long. The bridge can only hold 95,000 pounds. A sign states: If even one ounce more than 95,000 pounds is on this bridge, it will immediately collapse. There is a weigh station at the beginning of the bridge and Bubba’s truck weighs exactly 95,000. They check 3 times, and the truck is not an ounce over 95,000

pounds. Well, the truck is within the weight limits, so it begins crossing the bridge. When it is halfway across the bridge, a one-ounce bird lands on the truck. But the bridge does not collapse. Why not?

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Riddle Me This?

Answer: Because the truck drove ½ of a mile, so it used up some gas, which would make it less than one ounce more than 95,000 pounds.

OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home

Notable Quotes

FEBRUARY 24, 2022

“Say What?!”

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Political correctness has killed comedy, has killed it. Every joke now, it hurts somebody’s feelings. What people don’t understand about comedians is that a joke has to be about something. - Actor and comedian Steve Harvey

I don’t believe that a child should be in a cage on our border, and I don’t believe a child should be in a cage in the West Bank - Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (Dem/Socialist-NY) while campaigning for progressives in Texas, making up a completely false allegation about Israel

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We’ve already taught these poor 18-year-olds that when you’re told to go to class and you don’t like it, you can leave. We’ve already told these kids if you’re not happy, you can do something else. We’ve already told these kids that it’s hard to hold them accountable. And now, we’re going to tell them to not man up and walk down a line on someone who’s [beat you] and have enough class to shake their hand is utterly ridiculous… Not shaking hands is typical of our country right now. Instead of solving the problem, let’s make an excuse and let’s see if we can just, instead of confronting and demanding that it changes, let’s eliminate it so that we don’t have those problems.

I’m a black man that’s the mayor but my story is being interpreted by people that don’t look like me. How many blacks are on editorial boards? How many blacks determine how these stories are being written? - New York City Mayor Eric Adams, claiming that the media is unfair to him because of racism

Diversify your newsrooms so I can look out and see people who look like me. - Ibid.

- Michigan State head coach Tom Izzo addressing the possibility that the traditional postgame handshake will be eliminated after a brawl broke out on one last week

Speak! Speak! Speak plainly!

Champ

– Russian President Vladimir Putin to his Director of Foreign Intelligence Sergey Naryshkin when Naryshkin seemed nervous and was hemming-and-hawing during a televised meeting

- What Rams player Van Jefferson named his son who was born moments after the Rams won the Super Bowl

Sadly, the virus itself, particularly the variant called omicron, is a type of vaccine, that is, it creates both B-cell and T-cell immunity, and it’s done a better job getting out to the world population than we have with vaccines. - Billionaire Bill Gates speaking at the Munich Security Conference

Will visit IRS next time I’m in DC just to say hi, since I paid the most taxes ever in history for an individual last year. Maybe I can have a cookie or something. - Tweet by Elon Musk

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The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 29, 2015

THE BALTIMORE JEWISH HOME

FEBRUARY 24, 2022

27 27

A mask mandate may not magically swaddle the faces of everyone in its jurisdiction, but it could remind already enthusiastic maskers to avoid large gatherings or lead non-maskers to give the people around them a little more space. - From an article in the Atlantic titled, “Mask Mandates Don’t Need to Make Sense: They Only Need to Align With the Communities’ Goals”

“Mask Mandates Don’t Need to Make Sense” … but if you question them, you’re a bad person. - Tweet by Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis’s press secretary Christina Pushaw in response to the Atlantic article ***

In San Francisco, you have to have the mask on when you’re shoplifting indoors. - Bill Maher, HBO

Cloth masks don’t work; the virus goes through the cloth mask and around the cloth mask. It’s a joke, it’s theater, and there’s no reason to be wearing them on the planes. We are just punishing ourselves. And I, for one, I’m tired of paying the airlines to be treated like [garbage] when I get on the plane. - Sen. Rand Paul on Newsmax

I want to be treated like a paying customer, and I want them to bring me at least a glass of water and peanuts, and I don’t want somebody jammering at me to put my mask on in between peanuts. I mean, for goodness’ sakes, I’m paying you money. Treat me like a customer.

We are looking at a moment that is a very decisive moment on one of the bases for the Munich Security Conference and certainly one of the founding reasons for NATO, which is European security and the connection and alliance between Europe and the United States. It was important in that, as you all know, this is a moment that is very dynamic. If not every hour, certainly every day, there seem to be new moments of interest and also of intelligence. - Vice President Harris talking about the Russia-Ukraine crisis at the conclusion of the Munich Security Conference

I am a strong Jewish woman and a member of this House and a descendant of Holocaust survivors, and it’s never been singled out, and I’ve never been made to feel less, except for today when the prime minister accused me of standing with swastikas. I think he owes me an apology, I’d like an apology, and I think he owes an apology to all members of this House. – Canadian Conservative Party member Melissa Lantsman, a descendent of Holocaust survivors, responding to Prime Minister Justin Trudeau accusing her of standing with people who are pro-Nazi, after she showed support for the truck convoy drivers, who have nothing to do with Nazis at all but are opposed to Trudeau’s draconian Covid measures

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– Ibid.

I’m proud of the fact that I avoided it. It’s like some … disease or something. I just regard it as beneath contempt. Some people think it’s modernity, and they welcome a currency that’s useful in extortions and kidnappings and so on and so on … tax evasions. - Berkshire Hathaway’s billionaire vice chairman Charlie Munger, age 98, right-hand man to Warren Buffett, blasting cryptocurrencies in an interview at the Daily Journal’s annual meeting

Never forget the words of Joseph Stalin, who is the mentor to Vladimir Putin. He said, “When you’re going to advance against your enemy, you stick your bayonet forward, and if you feel mush, you keep going. If you hit steel, you stop and retreat.” Well, what is Putin hitting? Mush. Because Joe Biden has had weeks to prepare for a reaction to what Putin is currently doing. It’s not like this just happened last night, and it caught everybody off-guard. Takes a while to amass a couple of hundred thousand troops, and so the fact that we don’t know yet what we’re going to do, we haven’t announced anything all that specific…it is just incredible. -Mike Huckabee on Fox News

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OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home

Dating Dialogue

What Would You Do If… Moderated by Jennifer Mann, LCSW of The Navidaters

Dear Navidaters,

Thank you for taking the time to listen to my question. I was really not sure who to ask. My mother has gotten completely irrational since my sister started dating. She’s always on edge, either

networking, on the phone with people, or snappy. This stage has made her into a ball of nerves. I am married with kids of my own, and she used to always offer to babysit or help when I needed it. Now she says she’s always too busy with my sister’s shidduchim – either going to networking meetings or taking my sister on trips to meet different shadchanim. It’s

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also all she talks about! It’s annoying for me, and I can’t even imagine how hard it is on my younger siblings at home. Is there anything you suggest that I can do to get my old mother back? -Tehilla*

Disclaimer: This column is not intended to diagnose or otherwise conclude resolutions to any questions. Our intention is not to offer any definitive conclusions to any particular question, rather offer areas of exploration for the author and reader. Due to the nature of the column receiving only a short snapshot of an issue, without the benefit of an actual discussion, the panel’s role is to offer a range of possibilities. We hope to open up meaningful dialogue and individual exploration.

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ehilla, you seem to be more worried about your mother helping you and getting your “old mother back” than your mother’s stress levels about your sister’s shidduchim. Instead of being supportive, understanding, and trying to help out with shidduchim, you want your mother’s babysitting services and more. Be an adult and stop being a taker. Take responsibility for your own needs and swallow your annoyance. Focus on helping your mom and siblings and offering some concrete help such as making dinners, taking your sibs out for private time, or helping with errands. Your mother is not a service provider for your household. She may be overreacting to the stress of shidduchim and could use support from family members, friends, and maybe a professional. But you seem to be responding in an immature, selfish manner. Rise to the occasion. Stop kvetching and help out.

a question asking how you can get your regular babysitter back. Am I the only one who finds this unsettling? Your mother is acting in a way many parents do when they have a single child to marry off. Look for ways you can help your sister with shidduchim. Can you network on her behalf? Can you and your husband think of ideas for her? I have been told that one of the hardest parts of being a mother of a child in shidduchim is feeling alone. Instead of asking your mother for help, try asking your mother how you can help. Tell her you see how stressed out she is recently and ask if there is anything you can do. Show her you are there for her, even for a listening ear, rather giving her a guilt trip about taking your sister on shadchan trips. By sharing the burden, she will be less on edge – I guarantee it. Another thing you can do is take your younger siblings out on trips when mom is out networking with your sister. When she feels less stressed out, you might just get your babysitter back. Focus on the positive in your life – hatzlacha!

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aving a child in shidduchim is hard; being a kid in a home with an older sibling in shidduchim is harder; being a married child when one of your siblings is single is…LUCKY. Count your blessings, Tehilla. Look at all the good that you have in your life; you are married with kids and clearly live close enough to your parents that your mother is your regular “on call” babysitter. Instead of worrying about your mother, who is clearly very stressed out, you pose

arents tend to lose all feelings of rational and identity when they become desperate. I would encourage you to communicate your feelings with your mom in a strategic, non-accusatory way. If she, unfortunately, is not receptive (depending on her personality and who she is), I would utilize this opportunity for you to support your siblings and advocate on their behalf when your mom seems obsessive or pushy in her feelings and decisions. Unfortunately, people forget that

the same G-d Who gives them food, shelter, and things they don’t think twice about is the same G-d Who will set their kids up at the right time, and not a second later.

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I have been told that one of the hardest parts of being a mother of a child in shidduchim is feeling alone.

ere are some points for you to ponder. First, you are not an only child. You are upset that the attention that your mom used to lavish upon you is now diverted to the next sibling in line. You are accustomed to your mom being there for you, with her “offer to babysit or help when I need it.” Well, now, it’s your younger sister who seems to need it. Perhaps things went much more smoothly for you when you were dating and going through the shidduch process. Perhaps you were much more self-sufficient, and your mother didn’t feel the need to work so hard, and fret so much, on behalf of your marriage prospects. But, as a mother yourself, you are surely aware that each child is very unique and very different. Different children require different amounts of time and energy at different times of life. Your mother is very busy with your sister right now. It’s, unfortunately, a fact of life that today’s complex shidduch process can put any mother under tremendous stress. It would help not only you but also your mother if you could simply accept that since you are now a capable adult, happily married with your own children, your younger sister now needs more of Mom’s time. Second, even though you might, intellectually, accept all this, you are still hurting emotionally. It might help if you felt reassured that your

relationship with your mother is not ending, but is, instead, merely transitioning into a more mature, adult relationship. Consider setting up a weekly, or twice-weekly, time for just you and mom. You could meet for brunch, for example, where you could catch up on things and share thoughts, emotions, and hugs. Third, while it is true that you are hurting, so is your mother. It sounds like she is the one who now needs some help and support. Why not offer to help with your sister’s shidduch process? With your own fairly recent experiences, you can be a great source of information and emotional support for both your mother and your sister. Welcome to the cycle of life. Until now, you needed your mom. Now, she needs you. Be there for her and assure her that despite today’s tortuous, aggravating, and complex shidduch system, somehow, miraculously, things usually turn out just fine. Remember that, 2,500 years ago, Heraclitus, the Greek philosopher, wrote, “The only thing that is constant is change.” Although we might be comfortable with an unchanging routine, that is not real life. You are entering a new phase of adult life. Embrace it and go with the flow.

OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home

The Navidaters Dating and Relationship Coaches and Therapists

get my old mother back?” In short, there are things you can try, but no, there is nothing that you can do that can change your mother’s behavior, her stress, her decisions, and what she is going through right now. This is because we cannot change someone’s behavior. We aren’t responsible. If we didn’t cause the problem, then we certainly can’t fix it. We’re going to explore your mom’s pain in a moment, and perhaps a

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there is anything you can do for her to help her with her stuff. I am hopeful that if you’ve had good communication in the past, checking in with her, letting her know that you see her pain, and sharing yours with her may help to reconnect you with your mom. Seeing her as not being able to manage her anxiety and stress because she too is in pain may help you manage your own feelings a bit better, so that you don’t have to sit in your frustration. As painful as it is, sometimes relationships go through different phases. Sometimes we enjoy a closeness and then for one of life’s many reasons, that closeness goes away for a time. It often returns. During periods of more separation from our loved ones, all we can do is our best: Checking in with ourselves, taking care of ourselves, being open and honest, caring for the other if we are so inclined, and trying to accept and surrender to the new reality (which is really hard work by the way!) Wishing you and your entire family peace and a restored sense of calm and order. May your sister find her bashert speedily. May your mother be rid of her worries. And may you and your kids’ relationship with Mom/Bobbi/ Bubby/Grandma/Savta/Nana/Oma (did I cover all my bases?) be restored! Sincerely, Jennifer

Jennifer Mann, LCSW is a licensed psychotherapist and certified trauma healing life coach, as well as a dating and relationship coach working with individuals, couples, and families in private practice at 123 Maple Avenue in Cedarhurst, NY. She also teaches a psychology course at Touro College. To set up a consultation or to ask questions, please call 718-908-0512. Visit www.thenavidaters.com for more information. If you would like to submit a dating or relationship question to the panel anonymously, please email JenniferMannLCSW@gmail.com. You can follow The Navidaters on FB and Instagram for dating and relationship advice.

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hank you for writing in! I’m getting the sense that beneath your frustration, you simply miss your mom, and I find that feeling and experience most understandable. While you once relied on her to babysit and help, she is now completely consumed by your sister and her shidduch dating. It seems as though her personality has changed as well, and so not only is her help unavailable, but the mother you knew and your relationship with her is no longer available. That is difficult. You are experiencing a loss. And I am sorry you are going through this. You asked, “Is there I can do to

new cognitive framework in which you can conceptualize the pain, but before we do I want to be very clear that your feelings matter. And in order for you to get through this time, you are going to have to honor your feelings and take good care of yourself. Find support by means that feel comfortable for you; confiding in supportive family and or friends and allow yourself to feel your feelings without any judgment. Sit in your feelings. Ask yourself, What is coming up for me? Dig deep and get to the core of it. If you feel comfortable or so inclined, you can share your core with your mom. Mom, I miss you so much (just an example of what may be at your core). We are allowed to be angry, sad, resentful, etc. Bottling up those feelings only hurts us and our loved ones in the long run. True intimacy, be it in a marriage, friendship or between mother and daughter, allows us to express ourselves. Expressing ourselves and our feelings ultimately is what creates true intimacy...even when…especially when!...those feelings are not positive. You are allowed to have your feelings and be seen. We should never be ashamed of our feelings. I follow “Notes From Your Therapist” on Instagram, and I highly recommend it. In a recent post, the author writes, “Emotions are part of your human physiology – they aren’t just ‘sensitive people stuff.’ Not paying attention to how you feel is as much a relationship issue with yourself as having difficulty knowing when you’re hungry, tired, or stressed. Healing this relationship means tuning in to how you feel – not ignoring it.” It sounds like your mom is having a rough time, too. You can see her. You can validate her pain. You can ask her how she is doing. You can ask her if

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A Night of Deep Emotion, Simcha and Kabbolas Ol Torah at Dirshu World Siyum in France European Jewry Comes out on En Masse to Celebrate Torah and Undertake Daily Limud HaTorah Major Daf HaYomi B’Halacha Siyumim in England, Belgium South Africa and Australia By Chaim Gold “Rabbosai, THIS is the time!” said the venerable Rosh Yeshiva of Mir, HaGaon HaRav Yitzchok Ezrachi, shlita, his voice shaking with passion and emotion. “We all have to make a decision, a decision that will impact the rest of our lives! We have to decide, now, at this exalted maamad that we will learn Torah EVERY DAY. EVERY DAY!” And then Rav Ezrachi switched to French, “Tout Les Jour Every Day!” “YES!” the crowd erupted in unison. The octogenarian Rav Ezrachi, so energized by the enthusiasm of the crowd, then exclaimed, “I want all of you to repeat after me and say: ‘I WANT TO LEARN TORAH!’” The powerful response, three times, over and over and over again shook the rafters at the Les Dock De Paris Auditorium in downtown Paris. That part of Rav Ezrachi’s drasha was one of the emotional highlights in a night full of climaxes and crescendos at the Daf HaYomi B’Halacha Siyum on the machzor sheini and the siyum on Seder Moed of Daf HaYomi held last week in Paris. There was something very unique about French Jewry that was very clear at the Dirshu Siyum where thousands came to participate. It was the sense of achdus, the unity of purpose and the true feelings of simcha and emotional joy at being part of the global Torah community and celebrating Torah accomplishments. There was, however, another component. Not only was the gala siyum in France a manifestation of Chosson Torah, of celebrating the completion of a Torah milestone, but even more so, it was. Chosson Bereishis, a celebration of the many, many thousands of Jews from all over France to accept upon themselves the ol Torah of daily learning whether it be halacha or Gemara. That was a constant theme, not only in Rav Ezrachi’s keynote address but also very prominently in that of

Dancing at the Dirshu Siyum in Australia

Dirshu’s Nasi Rav Dovid Hofstedter, shlita, and the many French Rabbanim who hailed from a multitude of communities including the larger communities of Paris, Marseille, Strasbourg and Nice. The evening was also beautifully complimented by a multi-piece orchestra and the beautiful zemiros sung by Shlomo Cohen and Naftali Kempa. Indeed, Shlomo Cohen remarked that he cannot remember an event that possessed so much energy and enthusiasm as this Dirshu World Siyum in Paris. Dirshu an Integral Component in the French Torah Revolution For more than a decade, Dirshu has been investing tremendous effort in spreading Torah all over France. Hundreds of shiurim in halacha and Gemara have been established all over the country. Dirshu’s efforts are led, the menahel Rav Naftali Levi whom together with his staff were described by Rav Hofstedter as Dirshu’s faithful soldiers. Among the leading Rabbanim of France who addressed the event was Rav Yechieh Tubal, Av Beis Din of Lyon; Rav Michoel Schmerla, Av Beis Din of Strasbourg; Rav Yehuda Toledano, Rosh Yeshiva Chazon Baruch; Rav Yitzchok Katz, Rosh Yeshivas Yad Mordechai; Rav Dovid Benisho, Rosh Yeshivas Nishmas Yisroel; Rav Michoel Benita, Av Beis Din Kehal Yereim of Paris; Rav Boruch Pargi, Rosh Yeshivas Ohr Torah; and tens of other distinguished Rabbanim. Rav Hofstedter’s Pointed Questions and the Resounding Answers that are Still Reverberating With that in mind we can under-

Dancing at the dais, Dirshu World Siyum, Antwerp, Belgium

stand why one of the remarakble emotional high points of the evening was when Rav Dovid Hofstedter, at the end of his speech which was given partially in French and partially in Hebrew, said in French to the thousands assembled, “I would like to ask you a number of questions and I would like you to answer out loud: “Are we going to give in to the difficulties of the [Corona] period in which we find ourselves and neglect our ruchniyus?” “NO!” reverberated the resounding answer of the crowd throughout the auditorium. “Will we continue to neglect chayei Olam, eternal life, in favor of chayei shaah, temporal life?” “NO!” “Do we agree to continue in our old ways and forgo trying to change our ways?” “NO!” “Now,” Rav Dovid continued, “I would like to ask you some even more difficult questions. “Do we REALLY want to live lives of holiness, lives of true attachment to Hashem?” “YES!” was the resounding answer crowd that reverberated throughout the auditorium. “Do we REALLY want to learn a daf of Mishnah Berurah every day and make sure to be careful about never missing a day?” “YES!” “Are we ready to accept upon ourselves the ol Torah b’emes? Are we ready to declare from the depth of our hearts, ‘Ki heim chayeinu v’orech yameinu u’bahem nehegeh yomam

va’lailah’?!” “YES! YES! YES, Oui, Oui, Oui!” was the answer that blew the roof off! That unified kabbolas ol Torah was another one of the emotional moments of the evening. When one looked at the elder Rabbanim on the dais at that moment, one saw tears shining in their eyes. It was clear that the efforts they have been investing for so many years to elevate the ideal of Torah learning was reaping the sweetest of fruits. From a Small Beginning 14 Years Ago to a Countrywide Movement According to Dirshu’s Director of Public Relations, Rabbi Shlomo Rozenstein, the enthusiasm of the French Jewry for this event was unprecedented. He explained that many people travelled for many hours to participate in the event. Torah events such as these are rare in France, and they infuse thousands with chizuk. “Fourteen years ago, when the Daf HaYomi B’Halacha began, was the fist time that Dirshu came to France. At that time, the great Gaon and Baal Machshava, Rav Moshe Shapiro, came with Rav Hofstedter to bring chizuk and encourage Torah learning in France. They were assisted by the unforgettable Chief Rabbi of France, Rav Yosef Sitruk, zt”l. Today, fourteen years later, more than 2,000 French Jews have been mesayem and many thousands more have joined the program!” Rav Hofstedter: Hashem Gives Chochma, BUT! We Must Do Our Part Rav Naftali Levi, Dirshu’s indefatigable menahel of operations in

On Sunday, 19 Adar I/February 20, the beautiful siyum and seudah in Manchester was held at the large Queen Elizabeth Hall in Oldham. Originally, the siyum was scheduled to take place in a smaller venue but when the Dirshu askanim from Manchester realized the overwhelming response of so many Daf HaYomi B’Halcha learners and their families (there are over sixteen regular Daf HaYomi B’Halacha daily shiurim in Manchester alone), they secured the Queen Elizbeth Hall. The climax of the siyumim in England was the massive event in London on Monday night, 20 Adar I/February 21 at the posh Meridian Grand. The siyum featured London Jewry in all its varied subcommunities joining together for a magnificent seudas mitzvah. On Motzoei Shabbos Parshas Ki Sisa, the citywide Daf HaYomi B’Halacha Siyum was held in Antwerp. In advance of the Siyum, in a rare occurrence, Rav Aharon Schiff, Rav of the Machzikei Hadas, the umbrella-Charedi community of Antwerp that encompasses the entire Charedi community of more than thirty shuls and kehillos wrote a letter to the community encouraging them to join Daf HaYomi B’Halacha. The tremendous popularity of the Daf HaYomi B’Halacha in Europe has been most gratifying for hanhalas Dirshu and today there are some 75 shiurim in the collective communities of Europe that include many cites in France, many cities in England, Belgium, Holland and even Gibraltar! South Africa and Melbourne Hold Joyous Siyum Celebrations The Worldwide Siyumim also had ample representation on the other side of the equator with community wide siyumim held in Australia and South Africa at the beginning of the week and a large siyum slated to be held in Argentina next month. Over the last few years, Dirshu has taken off in South Africa with an

abundance of new learners and new siyumim. This is especially so with the Daf HaYomi B’Halacha that has become very popular. The event held on Wednesday, 15 Adar I/February 16, at “The Deck” a large venue in Johannesburg, was attended and addressed by many of South Africa’s Rabbanim. A major highlight was the presence of the Chief Rabbi of South Africa, Rabbi Warren Goldstein who was honored with beginning the third Machzor of Daf HaYomi B’Halacha. Rabbi Goldstein also graced a Daf HaYomi B’Halacha Siyum in Cape Town accompanied by Dirshu’s South African Director, Rabbi Ari Tabak. On Sunday night, a beautiful citywide siyum was held in Melbourne, Australia at the Adass Hall. The Rav of Adass Yisroel, Rav Shlomo Kohn addressed the assemblage. In advance of the Siyum, Rav Kohn also wrote an open letter to the community urging them to join the Daf HaYomi B’Halacha for the next machzor thereby bringing halachic observance into everything they do throughout the day. Perhaps Rav Dovid Hofstedter’s remarks to the communities of Australia and South Africa delivered via video due to the ongoing difficulty of travel to those areas offered chizuk, perspective and the charge for the future. He said, “We have been through a difficult period. The corona virus, the illness, the uncertainty and later the difficult regulations have made it very challenging to learn, to take the bechinos and to persevere as there was so much difficulty and uncertainty in the world. “However,” Rav Hofstedter continued, “all challenges are tailormade for us by the Ribbono Shel Olam to serve as a springboard to go higher and higher and for us to carry forth our Divine mandate to become a mamleches kohanim v’goy kadosh and rise above our challenges to continue to learn Torah, acquire Torah and serve Hashem.”

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Gemara a day. If we really want to and we think we can, Hashem will endow us with the siyatta d’Shmaya that we need!” Aflame with Dveikus What transpired after Rav Hofstedter’s emotional address defies description. All of a sudden, hundreds of Yidden spontaneously jumped out of their seats and began to sing the hallowed words of the song, “V’Taher Libeinu L’ovdecha B’Emes!” Within seconds the expansive dais with the Rabbonim of France led by the special guest, Rav Yitzchok Ezrachi grasped each other’s hands and began to dance. This further inflamed the enthusiasm as the entire auditorium experienced moments of simcha and dveikus that are hard to describe. The dancing went on and on and even when Rav Shlomo Elhadad, the master of ceremonies tried to go further with the program, Rav Yitzchok Ezrachi who was so deeply moved asked him to wait a bit more and then led the entire assemblage in singing the words “V’oseh nachas ruach l’yotzram.” Truly, French Jewry had never experienced such a deeply spiritual experience and during the ensuing days the chizuk that the Dirshu Daf HaYomi B’Halacha Siyum in Les Docks de Paris infused in the community was the talk of the town. Gala Siyumim All Over Europe Having Transformative Impact Although the siyum in France was the largest siyum in Europe it was by no means the only siyum. Beautiful Daf HaYomi B’Halacha siyumim on the entire Mishnah Berurah that were addressed by leading Rabbanim in their respective communities were held throughout Europe, with each major community holding its own siyumim. There were siyumim in London, Manchester and Gateshead in England, as well as a siyum in Antwerp, Belgium. The siyumin in England began on Thursday, 16 Adar I/February 17 with a beautiful siyum held in Gateshead, the Ihr HaTorah of England.

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France, introduced Rav Dovid Hofstedter who gave a riveting address in a combination of French and Hebrew that brought the olam to its feet numerous times. Rav Hofstedter was visibly emotional when he began, “What a zechus it is to be here with you! Hodu l’Hashem ki tov ki l’olam chassdo, after all that we have been through in the past two years, lockdowns, illness, uncertainty, and so much difficulty, we are back!” He then addressed one of the purposes of the evening of celebration. “We are about to start a new machzor of Daf HaYomi B’Halacha. Perhaps there are some who think, ‘This is too difficult. How can I learn an entire daf of Mishnah Berurah every day and then review it enough times so that I can take a test?’ We are also beginning Seder Nashim in the Daf Hayomi Bavli. Some may think, ‘I can’t. It is too hard. How can I learn an entire blatt every day?’ “I want to ask you something,” Rav Hofstedter continued, “we are now learning the parshiyos of the Mishkan in the weekly parsha. Who built the Mishkan? Do you think those who built the Mishkan went to university and had degrees in engineering and architecture? It was the most beautiful building. The bigdei kehuna were the most royal and regal clothing. The Ramban explains that Bezalel was asked to build the Mishkan, to perform the precise work of an artisan with decades of experience working with pure gold and silver. Who helped him? Yidden who had spent their entire lives as slaves building bricks and mortar, lime and pitch… and they did it! The message is that Hashem gives chochma, BUT! We must do our part. We must invest every bit of effort possible and realize that if we really work hard, it is HASHEM Who gives us the ability to acquire Torah on a scope and level that we never imagined! We CAN learn a page of Mishnah Berurah every day and we CAN learn a blatt of

Dirshu World Siyum held at the Les Dock De Paris Auditorium, Paris, France

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hese days, it seems like every time you open your laptop, some crypto-bro is philosophizing about the brave new world of cryptocurrency. Today it’s our turn to jump on that bandwagon. We’re not going to tackle the existential questions, like “is crypto really just astrology for libertarians?” We can’t tell you whether cryptocurrencies or their underlying blockchains offer bigger long-term opportunities. But we can tell you why a taxpayer who’s smart enough to understand this whole field would do something dumb like turning down a $3,793 tax refund. Most of us are familiar with the concept of crypto “mining.” At the risk of indulging an unkind stereotype, that’s when one of those geeks you resented for saying, “math is easy!” back in school sits down with a rack of computers and goes to work solving an algorithm. (Fun fact: they’re called “algorithms” because Al Gore invented the internet.) After enough processing time, the computer belches out a new coin. That coin is taxable as ordinary income when you earn it – and if all goes well, you’ll pay more tax on your gain when you sell it for a profit down the road. The problem with mining is that it uses enormous amounts of energy,

usually derived from fossil fuels. Each bitcoin transaction uses enough electricity to power a typical American home for six weeks, and the Earth cries a little every time a new coin is minted. “Staking” is a way to earn income similar to mining without feeling guilty that you’re condemning

In 2019, Joshua Jarret’s staking earned him 8,876 Tezos coins, worth $9,407. (Tezos is an open-source blockchain combining FA1.2, FA2, and TZIP-16 token standards with on-chain governance that lets users amend the protocol to avoid hard forks. It also protects against chain

Each bitcoin transaction uses enough electricity to power a typical American home for six weeks, and the Earth cries a little every time a new coin is minted.

future generations to a diet of Soylent Green. The process involves buying coins, holding them in a wallet to support the blockchain and validate transactions, then earning new coins as a reward. Today’s question is simple: when do you pay tax on your staking income? Staking creates new property, for sure, just like mining. But staking income isn’t earned, like mining. It’s passive, like finding gold on your property.

reorganizations and selfish baking, which are common problems with chains using Nakamoto-style consensus. Don’t worry, I have no clue what any of that means, either.) At first, Jarrett reported the $9,407 as income and paid $3,793 in tax, just like he would have if he had mined the coins. But then he amended his return to argue his striking income shouldn’t have been taxed. When the IRS failed to respond, he took his case to Tax Court. It’s “just

like when a baker bakes a cake,” he argues. There’s no income to tax until the baker actually sells the cake. Jarret’s argument is strong enough that late last year the IRS agreed to refund him in full, plus interest. At first glance, he said, it seemed like great news. But just taking the refund won’t protect him from future taxes down the road. More important, it won’t establish a precedent protecting fellow stakers. Jarret and his supporters want the Court to issue a judgment confirming that staking isn’t taxable until you sell the new coins. Why settle for trusting the IRS when you can recruit the Tax Court to your side? It’s hard to see Jarrett losing after the IRS folds. His win could prompt thousands of stakers to file amended returns claiming refunds for taxes they didn’t really owe. More important, it will help future crypto investors plan the best way to manage their holdings to minimize their tax. That should be a win in everyone’s book, whether you buy into crypto or not.

Allan J Rolnick is a CPA who has been in practice for over 30 years in Queens, NY. He welcomes your comments and can be reached at 718-896-8715 or at allanjrcpa@aol.com.

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