2 minute read
Life Coach
I’m Wearing Mine
Rivki D. Rosenwald Esq., LMFT, CLC, SDS
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Believe it or not, when I was a kid, no one wore bike helmets.
Wait, I take that back. Rough and tough “ride on the road” motorcyclists did. But, they were truly part of the real traffic flow so that made sense to us.
Then again, they looked so tough we thought even the road would be afraid to hurt them. Made you wonder why they actually needed protection?!
Still, back then, no respectable two-wheel riding cyclist would ever think they needed a helmet! It just wasn’t on anyone’s radar...until someone figured out that the head housed the brain, even when riding a non-motorized bicycle.
However, when they first started requiring it, people were like: no way. It was just not something anyone was used to. Then, eventually, it slowly caught on...
And then they started pushing it for skiers, too. I mean, seriously, that was a tough sell – half the pizazz of skiing was your outfit and a big part of the outfit was your hat! It was a difficult adjustment to switch to a helmet but we got there.
Today, everyone recognizes it’s a better idea to wear helmets...
Well, at least every parent does!
You still see kids riding, rip-sticking, or rollerblading without one. And every parent kind of wants to run over to them and wrap
something protective around their heads.
But kids think differently. They not opting to wear it comes from the security and naïveté of youth. They just seem to feel immortal. And that is kind of funny, because that’s just when every parent feels like killing them!
A person actually knows they’ve transitioned to being a parent when all the bravado they had as a kid turns into anxiety and neurosis as a parent. One minute you’re the wild and crazy, irresponsible adolescent, and the next minute, you’re the one controlling all the behaviors of someone else!
It seems that kids just force you to grow up in so many ways.
And then it gets even more complex because then the kids start controlling the adult’s behaviors.
One of the most disturbing turning points is when kids start curtailing their parent’s actions -which comes with that famous line usually delivered by a maturing youth: “You’re embarrassing me.”
Suddenly, you are under their microscope and they are deciding what’s appropriate for you! When that happens, you know you can’t just be who you want to be anymore when they are around. They have an image of what adultlike behavior is and suddenly your spontaneity is no longer in your domain. There is a youth committee out on what’s appropriate behavior for you!
Here it was, you thought you were teaching them to be appropriate youngsters. And they are, it seems, teaching you to be appropriate adults!
Ultimately, you can say they are starting to make sure you know the rules of showing up in life safely. In other words, they are kind of checking that you have your helmet on.
And not just whether it’s on – but if it’s on the way they think is right.
So, hats off to parents for being the best parents to their kids.
Rivki Rosenwald is a certified relationship counselor, and career and life coach. She can be contacted at 917-7052004 or rivki@rosenwalds.com.
