Life Coach

You Can Light Up Your Life

By Rivki D. Rosenwald Esq., LMFT, CLC, SDS

Iwant to talk about fireworks.

I mean there are fireworks, and then there are fireworks.

Like when you leave your kids at home and they all want to play with the same toy. You know what I mean?! Fireworks can fly! And on top of that, you have a first-time babysitter, with an anxious nature, dealing with it. Talk about an opportunity for fireworks.

Or how about when everyone in a bunk has called numbers for the shower in camp. They are all patiently or not sooo patiently waiting their turn. And then innocently, one person saunters in late, nonchalantly walks past them all, and climbs into the shower before everyone. Talk about an all-out war. That’s fireworks!

Fireworks can be the sparks that fly when:

Two people get out to “calmly,” so to be speak, discuss an unfortunate collision.

Or when: a wife tries, helpfully, to clarify a Google maps’ instructions and somehow takes over the direction department.

Or when: one thinks they can “rationally” explain their political view.

Yes, fireworks can be a really volatile experience – emotional and dysregulating.

But then there are also the ones that light up the sky!

The ones we like to experience and look forward to. The ones that come in all different colors and arrangements. The ones that sparkle and titillate. The ones that illuminate the night.

The ones that are only marred by

a person’s inability to see them or the duds that don’t ignite.

These are not spontaneous; they are actually manufactured, but still tossed or projected into the heavens and the result is beautiful! Although they’re not necessarily authentic.

So, am I saying we can either get the authentic, hostile ones or the gorgeous but fabricated ones? Are there ever authentically beautiful fireworks?

My answer is: yes, there is a moment when we get those fireworks.

The moment when two people connect. The moment of seeing the other person. The moment when two people feel they have connected with a soulmate.

These are true fireworks moments. We feel lit up. We feel seen. We feel the energy flowing. And we sense that glow that encircles.

We don’t need to wait for July 4th for those beautiful fireworks. We can open ourselves up to seeing others. To suppressing our tendency toward judgment and work on trying to see what is emanating from their insides.

This can happen with people we just meet or even those we know already.

That spark. That sudden joining of a view or a mutual respect for anoth-

er’s right to their own view. That is a true firecracker moment. Like mini moments of static electricity.

So maybe if we like the experience, the beauty, the illumination, of fireworks it would behoove us to create more of those connecting moments.

And fire away!

We don’t need to wait for July 4th for those beautiful fireworks.

Rivki Rosenwald is a certified relationship counselor, and career and life coach. She can be contacted at 917-705-2004 or rivki@rosenwalds.com.