Centerfold

1. * TJH Centerfold

Vacation-ally Speaking

If you think adventure is dangerous, try routine – it’s lethal. – Paulo Coehlo

The worst thing about being a tourist is having other tourists recognize you as a tourist. – Russel Baker

When preparing to travel, lay out all your clothes and all your money. Then take half the clothes and twice the money. – Susan Heller

I have found out that there ain’t no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them. – Mark Twain

I’ve been to almost as many places as my luggage. – Bob Hope

This is the first year I’m not going to Fiji because of COVID-19. Normally, I do not go because I am poor. — Brooke Miller

My favorite thing to pack on trips are all the clothes I never wear at home and then … not wear them while I’m away. – Adam Rippon

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. – Henry Youngman

Boy, those French. They have a different word for everything. – Steve Martin

Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas. Take your next trip in kilometers. – George Carlin

A vacation is having nothing to do and all day to do it in. – Robert Orben

Riddle Me This

Why wouldn’t the skeleton ride any roller coasters?

Answer: He just didn’t have the stomach for them.

You Gotta Be Kidding Me!

A man is staying in a hotel.

He walks up to the front desk and says, “Sorry, I forgot what room I’m in. Can you help me?”

The receptionist replies, “No problem, sir. This is the lobby.”

I was at an amusement park with my friends.

They all said the invisible roller coaster was great, but I didn’t see the attraction.

Roller Coaster Trivia

1. What is the clicking sound that you usually hear when a roller coaster climbs upwards? a. It is an artificial sound that is meant to make the ride scary b. It is caused by riding over the screws on each plank c. It is caused by the spokes of the wheels d. It is a safety locking mechanism so that if the roller coaster loses power the cart won’t fall backwards…rather it will stay in position until it’s fixed. (That is comforting.

I’ll just hang out here at a 90 degree angle, 350 feet in the air, while the union guys finish their lunch break so they can get started on working on the outage.)

2. Leap the Dips, at Lakemont Park in Altoona, Pennsylvania, is the oldest ACTIVE roller coaster in the U.S. Made out of wood, it has a 9-foot drop and a top speed of 20 mph. In what year did it open? a. 1902 b. 1917 c. 1936 d. 1953 3. Where is the tallest roller coaster in the world located, with a height of 456 feet? a. Cedar Point Park, Ohio b. Ferrari Park, Dubai c. Six Flags Great Adventures,

New Jersey d. Wonderland, Canada

4. The most expensive roller coaster ever built is Expedition Everest, located in the Animal Kingdom

Park of Orlando’s Walt Disney

World. How much did it cost to build it in 2006? a. $55 million b. $100 million c. $240 million d. $1.2 billion

5. What medical condition can be helped by riding a roller coaster, according to a 2016 study in

The Journal of the American

Osteopathic Association? a. Headaches b. Kidney stones c. Neurosis d. Arthritis

6. According to the National

Weather Service, the odds of being struck by lightning are 1 in 15,300. What are the odds of being seriously injured on a roller coaster, according to the International Association of Amusement Parks and Attractions (IAAPA)? a. 1 in 35,000 b. 1 in 204,000 c. 1 in 3 million d. 1 in 15.5 million

7. When did Coney Island’s Cyclone open? a. 1913 b. 1927 c. 1944 d. 1962

Answers 1-D 2-A 3-C 4-B 5-B 6-D 7-B

Wisdom Key 6-7 correct: You are probably the worst person to go to an amusement park with. “Come on, why are you scared? It’s only a 400-foot drop! I can do it without holding on!” 3-5 correct: You have a healthy relationship with roller coasters. You approach them with some trepidation but also can overcome your fear and enjoy the experience. 0-2 correct: You need a roller coaster to mix up that brain of yours…may help you do better at trivia.