0215bspeast by baystateparent magazine

baystateparent FREE FR REE E

Massachusetts’ Premier Magazine For Families Since 1996 Massachusetts

FEBRUARY FEB BRUA RUARY RY 2015 201 015

COULD YOU GO 30 DAYS WITHOUT YELLING AT YOUR KIDS? EASY WAYS TO BRING FINE ART TO YOUR FAMILY

INSIDE BOSTON’S FREE FITNESS REVOLUTION TIPS FOR HAVING ‘THE TALK’ HOW TO SCREEN YOUR DAUGHTER’S DATES ROMANCE IN THE AGE OF PARENTHOOD: CHOREPLAY & MORE!

Love & Romance

Discover the

Feb 4 The Australian Bee Gees Show: A Multimedia Tribute Concert

Delight

of the arts coming to life!

Wednesday, February 4, 2015

5 50 Shades! The Musical Parody Thursday, February 5, 2015

7 Live And Let Die: A Symphonic Tribute to Paul McCartney and The Beatles

Feb

Saturday, February 7, 2015

13 Flashdance: The Musical

13-15

EI CO NI C

FIL

February 13 - February 15, 2015 Generously sponsored by UniBank

-N OW

25 Peter and the Wolf along with Hansel and Gretel: Classic Tales Told Through Music and Dance Wednesday, February 25, 2015

ST AG

28 Wild Kratts Live! Saturday, February 28, 2015

EM US IC

Mar AL

1 Dancing Pros Live Hosted by Alan Thicke, Featuring Chelsie Hightower Sunday, March 1, 2015

Mar 1

6 I Love Lucy: Live On Stage March 6 - March 8, 2015 Generously sponsored by Commerce Bank

15 Sherlock Jr. Featuring Buster Keaton, Accompanied by Clark Wilson on the Mighty Wurlitzer Sunday, March 15, 2015

Feb

15 Brian Regan Sunday, March 15, 2015 Generously sponsored by Southbridge Savings Bank

22 Jay Leno Sunday, March 22, 2015 Made possible through the support of WinnDevelopment.

27 Frank Carroll presents An Evening with The Priests to Benefit St. Johnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Food for the Poor

Apr

Friday, March 27, 2015

Apr 7 Stephen Dubner Tuesday, April 7, 2015 Presented by The Worcester Economic Club

11 The Price is Right Live! Saturday, April 11, 2015 Made possible through the support of TD Bank.

12 Brit Floyd Sunday, April 12, 2015

7 Adolph Adamâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Giselle performed by The Russian National Ballet Theatre

For packages, performances, and tickets visit

TheHanoverTheatre.org or call 877.571.SHOW (7469)

STAY IN TOUCH

Friday, April 17, 2015 Presented by Music Worcester

18 Chuggington Live! The Great Rescue Adventure Saturday, April 18, 2015

Get the inside scoop on auditions, cast parties, photo opportunities, contests, discounts, special promotions and more. Sign up for our online newsletter, like us on Facebook, and follow us on Twitter

Discounts available for members, groups, kids, students, and WOO Card holders.

Worcester Center for Performing Arts, a registered not-for-profit 501(c)(3) organization, owns and operates The Hanover Theatre for the Performing Arts.

2 FEBRUARY2015 3

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An elementary preparatory school that celebrates the individual. TOURS

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Don’t save “love” only for Valentine’s Day...... at Cornerstone a love for learning lasts forever! inspirat

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• Offering Transitional Kindergarten and full day Kindergarten through Grade 6 curriculum.

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• State of the art technology utilized in all classrooms.

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The Perfect Place for Your Growing Family

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Celebrating Over 20 Years of Leadership in Early Childhood Education INFANT ■ TODDLER ■ PRESCHOOL ■ PRE-KINDERGARTEN BAYSTATEPARENT 4 5

Child Development Network is Proud to Announce the

“CDN CARES PROGRAM”

Directed by Dr. Renee Folsom of Johns Hopkins-Kennedy Krieger Institute

CDN CARES

the Center for Autism Research Education Services

The goal of this center is to use state-of-the-art knowledge in the proper diagnosis of autism and to include evidence-based practice into targeted educational and related services. • Current estimates indicate that 1 out of 88 children age 8 years will have an Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD). • Every day new therapies crop up that claim to “cure” autism, and this makes it difficult for parents to decipher scientifically proven therapies that address the symptoms of autism from simple quackery.

CDN is proud to welcome Renee Folsom, PhD. She brings a wealth of experience and expertise working with children, adolescents, and adults at Johns Hopkins-Kennedy Krieger Institute’s Center for Autism and Related Disorders and UCLA’s The Help Group. She joins a team of dedicated professionals at CDN who will strive to help your child achieve his or her personal best.

Child Development Network, Inc.

Lexington, MA • 781-861-6655 www.CDNKids.com 6 FEBRUARY2015 7

table of contents FEBRUARY 2015 VOLUME 19

NUMBER 10

things we learned

while making

the february issue

Give your teen too many compliments and it could cause them to tune out. "Parents may be trying to boost their child's confidence, but teenagers need genuine compliments or they'll start disregarding what you're saying," says Boston-area social worker Laura Joyce. For more strategies on showing affection to your young adult, head to page 44.

There is no common curriculum for teaching health education in Massachusetts public schools. Currently how — and whether — sex ed is taught varies from school district to school district. A bill currently in the Legislature would establish a unified, age-appropriate curriculum. Parents would have the option of opting their child out of that instruction. Get tips for having The Talk on page 48.

“Choreplay”: The act of being turned on by your spouse or partner doing housework. That and other ideas for realistic romantic gestures for parents can be found on page 50.

features

26 28 29

RIPE: Inside Massachusetts’ Local-Grown Food Movement DISHIN’ WITH THE DIETITIAN: Revisiting The Most Maligned Vegetables RIPE BITES: Show Off Your Sweet Side This Valentine’s Day

The Orange Rhino Challenge: Can You Go 30 Days Without Yelling at Your Kids?

31 32 34

What I Learned From a Month (Kinda Sorta) Without Yelling

Parents Find Free Fitness, Motivation and Fun with November Project

How 20 Minutes and $10 Could Save Your Child’s Life History Books Aside: Challenging Students To Think, ‘What Would I Have Done?’

in every issue 8 8 9 10 12

WELCOME: A Letter from Our Editor MEET OUR SPECIAL GUEST: Cover Model Nawang MEET OUR CONTRIBUTORS bsp ONLINE VERY SPECIAL PEOPLE: Young Entrepreneur Racks Up Sales and Dyslexia Awareness

14 15 17 52 57

FINALLY FOREVER: Adoption Across Race: Key Considerations for Prospective Parents

MOM MATTERS: Massachusetts Pregnant Workers Fairness Act Aims to Protect Women and Their Jobs

EVERYDAY ART: Mozart, Shakespeare, Degas…Oh My!

64 68

COUNTDOWN TO CAMP: All the Summer’s a Stage at Lenox Shakespeare Camp

70 74

OUR FEBRUARY FAVORITES: Facts, Finds and Freebies

FEBRUARY’S CHILD: Meet Abeizer OUT & ABOUT: February Calendar of Family Events CAPTURED: Spreading the Love WOMEN’S HEALTH: FDA: Avoid Fetal ‘Keepsake’ Images, Heartbeat Monitors

REEL LIFE WITH JANE: Family Movies Coming to Theatres, DVD in February

TAKE 8: Meet Golden Anniversary Couple Ralph & Jane Meunier

love & romance 42 44 46 48 50 54

Young Love: Sweet or Scary? Why Your Teen May Not Want a Hug, But They Still Want You Expert Tips for Screening Your Daughter’s Dates Let’s Talk (To The Kids) About Sex Real Talk About Romance & Parenting: We Time, Choreplay and More How to Keep Money From Wrecking a Marriage BAYSTATEPARENT 6 7

meet team

welcome to

baystateparent

baystateparent publisher KIRK DAVIS

creative

If you don’t believe in love at first sight, you’ve obviously never been a parent. It’s impossible to explain — or forget — that moment you see your child lifted up by the OB, yourself overwhelmed with seemingly every emotion all at once and your child ticked off and hollering about the cold and bright lights. Or, for adoptive parents, that instant you first see your child’s photo or meet him or her in person. I’ve asked adoptive parents, “How did you know your child was the one?” Their responses are almost always the same, voices softening at the memory: “I just knew.” You may not have known your spouse was “the one” from your first interaction, but when it comes to your children, it’s an instant, unbreakable, lifelong bond. This month, appropriately, we take a look at Love & Romance, one attribute easy to relate to parenthood and the other… well, maybe not so much. Before children, “romance” for most had a distinctly different definition. But while it does change, that doesn’t

mean it ceases to exist. On page 50, Sara Pokorny talks to parents who share their thoughts on the most romantic gestures spouses can offer each other once the kids arrive. The answers are so true you’ll find yourself nodding as you read or even laughing at the deed that cracked me up: choreplay. And like our understanding of romance changes as we become parents, so does our children’s comprehension of the concept of love as they grow. A verb once reserved solely for their family later expands to boyfriends and girlfriends, producing a series of questions moms and dads may find difficult. On page 48, Amanda Roberge comes to the aid of those who are unsure about how to have The Talk, an event of such magnitude even that vague shorthand accurately describes the subject at hand with no further words needed. Amanda reports that there have been some changes in how that information is imparted over the years and outlines resources available to help. She also reveals a surprising fact about how the topic is taught — or not — in Massachusetts public schools. Another tricky time may arise when your daughter starts to date. We had a fun interview with author, former British commando, and body language expert Terry

Vaughan about how moms and dads can pick up clues about their child’s potential suitor when they first meet. His advice is smart and insightful — and probably the exact opposite of your natural instincts. Read what parents should do, and not do, when a boy comes to the door on page 46. When your children are little, hugs and kisses are in abundance, but as they grow, they might start to shy away from frequent, familiar displays of affection. But just because your teen doesn’t want a hug or kiss doesn’t mean he doesn’t need your affection. There are other ways to show your teen you love them, Sara Pokorny writes on page 44, find out how. And it’s not just about Love & Romance this month. We’ve got fascinating stories on tap, including a child entrepreneur who’s making a splash in the business world and raising dyslexia awareness; how parents are finding free fitness support and motivation on the streets of early morning Boston; how one mom went 500+ days without yelling at her children, and much more! Read on and, as always, I would love to hear your thoughts. Reach me at editor@ baystateparent.com.

M e li ss a Melissa Shaw

Nawang

meet our special guest Our cover model this month is 12-year-old Nawang who shared some fun facts with us.

Who is the first person you’ll show this cover to? My pala (Dad in Tibetan). What do you love to do in your spare time? I love to listen to music. What’s the best part about modeling? What’s the hardest? The

senior graphic designer STEPHANIE MALLARD 508-865-7070 design@baystateparent.com multi-media editor HEATHER KEMPSKIE heather@baystateparent.com

advertising director of sales REGINA STILLINGS 508-865-7070 ext. 210 regina@baystateparent.com account executive MARIE COREY 508-735-0503 marie@baystateparent.com account executive DEBORAH MEUNIER 508-450-9718 deb@baystateparent.com account executive KATHY PUFFER 508-865-7070 ext. 211 kathy@baystateparent.com

photographers AMANDA GOODALE ADAM PERRI SHAWNA SHENETTE ASHLEY VASSALLO copy editor BRYAN ETHIER

The most fun part of school is... Hanging out with my friends!

baystateparent cover photo

Shawna Shenette

PHOTOGRAPHY

Model provided by JRP New England Corp., Boston. • Hair and makeup by Toni & Guy Hairdressing Academy, Worcester. 8 FEBRUARY2015 9

creative director PAULA MONETTE ETHIER 508-865-7070 ext. 221 pethier@holdenlandmark.com

presidents KIRK and LAURIE DAVIS

best part about modeling is seeing the pictures after the photo shoot. The hardest is thinking of poses without using products.

What accomplishment are you looking forward to next? The accomplishment I am looking forward to next is to read more books.

editor in chief MELISSA SHAW 508-865-7070 ext. 201 editor@baystateparent.com

is published monthly with a main office at 22 West Street, Millbury, MA 01527

www.baystateparent.com It is distributed free of charge throughout Massachusetts.

FEBRUARY CONTRIBUTORS Jen Bouchard, writer, editor and mom, looks at the rise of the local-grown food movement in Massachusetts on page 26. Jane Boursaw is the film critic and editor-in-chief of Reel Life With Jane, whose reviews and work have been published in hundreds of newspapers, magazines and web sites, including Family Circle, Parade, New York Times, Variety, People Magazine and more. On page 68 she gets you up to date on what’s coming to theatres and DVD this month. You can find her at reellifewithjane.com Western Mass native Amanda Collins is a writer and editor who grew up in Belchertown, and now resides in Sturbridge. She is the proud aunt of six nieces and nephews and is the editor of baystateparent's sister publication, The Millbury-Sutton Chronicle. On page 42, Amanda writes about Young Love: Sweet or Scary? Jessica Day is a lifelong resident of Western Massachusetts who lives in Greenfield with her husband and two daughters. This month she takes a look at a unique Shakespeare summer camp for youth, on page 64. Pregnant workers in Massachusetts have some protection, but not enough, advocates say. Michele Bennett Decoteau reports on the Massachusetts Pregnant Workers Fairness Act, which was introduced in the Legislature last month and aims to protect the jobs and health of pregnant employees. Read her story on page 60. Josh Farnsworth is the Managing Editor of the Holden Landmark Corp. and Editor of the weekly Wachusett regional paper, The Landmark. He has also spent six years as Editor of the award-winning Millbury-Sutton Chronicle. He is a resident of Worcester, husband, and father to one-year-old, Cooper. On page 32 he looks at how a Sterling mother has turned her grief over her toddler’s accidental death into an awareness and information movement about the dangers of toppling furniture. Sandra Gittlen is a freelance lifestyle, business and technology writer in the greater Boston area. She is a newbie athlete who enjoys running, biking and swimming. She makes the trek into Harvard Stadium for Wednesday workouts as often as possible, an event she examines on page 38 in Parents Find Free Fitness, Motivation and Fun with November Project. On page 54 writer and father Gary L. Kelley tackles a topic that’s news you can use any month: How to Keep Money From Wrecking a Marriage. Gary talks to financial planners who offer concrete tips for promoting clear, open communication about finances. Sara Pokorny is a freelance writer who lives in Amherst and is a proud puppy mommy to Link and Piper. She's interviewed everyone from Mike Tyson to the late Joan Rivers, but still names the time she talked with the mall Santa Claus as her favorite story yet. Sara has two Love & Romance stories for us this month: Real Talk About Romance & Parenting: We Time, Choreplay and More on page 50 and Why Your Teen May Not Want a Hug, But They Still Want You on page 44. Amanda Roberge is a longtime freelance journalist and artist who lives in North Central Massachusetts. She and her husband have been raising their three daughters to be loving and kind, but also (and perhaps more importantly) to be excellent pranksters, karaoke singers and master roller-skaters. Amanda tackled two fascinating topics this month: Let’s Talk (To The Kids) About Sex on page 48 and FDA: Avoid Fetal ‘Keepsake’ Imagies, Heartbeat Monitors on page 57 Darcy Anne Schwartz, or "Miss Darcy", as she is known to her students, has worked as an illustrator and designer for the past 30 years, and is the founder and director of ArtReach, an in-school outreach program that brings fine art to children and programs throughout New England. When not teaching or creating art in her everyday life, she is a wife, a mother, and avid gardener. This month is the debut of her new bimonthly column, Everyday Art, on page 62. Wanna talk art? You can find her at dns1@earthlink.net or at facebook.com/artreachprogram. BAYSTATEPARENT 8 9

bsp ONLINE Multi-Media Editor Heather Kempskie (or, more accurately, your new online buddy!) has joined the baystateparent staff to bring you the latest and greatest on Facebook, Twitter and baystateparent.com. Heather is mom of two from Bellingham, a journalist, Girl Scout leader, Pop Warner board member, has an identical twin, and is a news junkie.

We’ve Reached

5,000

Facebook Likes!

Givin’ us lots of love

Be a part of our Facebook community @baystateparentmagazine

Trending today: Did you know?

Thank you

We asked for some love and you gave it to us big time! Last month, we topped 5,000 Facebook Likes. Loyal-Likers and lovely newscomers continued the love fest by sending us pics of their little ones showing their ultimate affection for a friend, pet or sibling. See some of our favorites in print on page 52 and a bunch more online. Lucky winner Fabiola of Randolph also scored a free lift ticket to Wachusett Mountain. See? We love you, too!

• Study says: Parents of three kids are way more stressed than those who have four. • Kids are more likely to eat fruits and veggies if recess is before school lunch, according to recent research. • Facebook launced a new Amber Alert system (this story was one of your faves!). Find all this and more under our Newsmakers section at baystateparent.com. We’re searching out all the lastest news, studies and any and all interesting tidbits to make

you the smartest parent at the playground!

Winners galore! You’ve got our Favorites giveaway calendar on page 70, but you should also check out baystateparent. com for our always-awesome spot give-aways. In January, Ann of East Longmeadow won the oversize-basketball mug (read the story about creator Max Ash on page 12) and Kelly of Grafton won a copy of My Very, Very Busy Day! by Banfield Pet Hospital.

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What could you win in February?

Visit us on baystateparent.com to find out! And here’s a teaser (because we can’t help ourselves!) Do you play basketball? We’d love to send you and your teammates (a max of 15) to the Basketball Hall of Fame….for free! Send us a pic of your team and complete this sentence: My team deserves to go to the Basketball Hall of Fame because…. Look out for the online contest @baystateparentmagazine for details on how to enter.

Buon Appetito Miei Amici

he desire to please people with food is an authentic Italian tradition. The team at Rovezzi's has been fulfilling that tradition with a comfortable setting, accommodating service and lusty, satisfying food steeped in a history of respect for ingredients and passionate attention to presentation and flavor. Whether you are looking for a nice romantic dinner or hosting a special gathering, Rovezzi's has the right room for you.

"Other restaurants have customers, we have friends" Chef and Owner Chris Rovezzi, 2012 Worcester's Best Chef "Overall Champion"

2 School Street, Fiskdale, MA (On the corner of Rt. 20 & Rt. 148) 508-347-0100 Dinner Hours: Closed Mondays, Tuesday — Thursday 5:00pm – 9:00pm Friday & Saturday 5:00pm – 10:00pm, Sunday 4:00pm – 8:00pm

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Young Massachusetts Entrepreneur Racks Up Sales and Dyslexia Awareness BY MELISSA SHAW PHOTOS BY ADAM PERRI Two years ago, Max Ash was an 8-year-old second grader who made a project in art class. “Our teacher told us to make a mug and I put a hoop on it,” he recalls. “I like basketball and hot chocolate, so I made a mug to throw marshmallows in it.” Today, Max is a 10-year-old fourth grader and Chief Creator at his new family-run business, MAX’IS Creations, Inc., whose mug with a hoop was commercially released last summer, racking up 18,000 unit sales — $400,000 in retail sales — in just its first few months on the market. Max is also dyslexic, a fact his parents point out only to emphasize one often-overlooked attribute about those who have a language-processing disorder: “It showcases the upside of kids who learn differently,” says mom

Jen. On the car ride home from school the day he made the mug, Max told his mom about his idea, slightly upset that some of his classmates copied it. “I told him that when you grow up people will not only pay you for your art, they will pay you for your ideas,” she says. Jen knew that her son, a veteran of lemonade stands and yard work jobs, liked the prospect of making money. Striking upon the opportunity for a teachable moment, as well as his enthusiasm, she explained that he could either make a handful of mugs himself and sell to customers directly or have a manufacturer massproduce thousands. A numbers whiz and highly visual, Max quickly figured out the latter was the better financial option and told his mom he wanted

to pursue the idea. Jen, a psychologist and leadership consultant, and husband Ron, an administrator at Mass General, freely admit they had no entrepreneurial background or desires, but helped Max pursue the idea because he was so excited by the prospect. “We had no master plan,” Jen says, but they sure had an abundance of serendipity. First, there was their neighbor, a professor at Babson College, who invited Max to present the idea to students and faculty at the school’s Blank Center for Entrepreneurship. Armed with a parent-assisted PowerPoint and his prototype, Max pitched it to the experts, who said it was a solid idea worth pursuing. Shortly thereafter, now spring 2013, Jen and Ron independently

heard about a product pitch event sponsored by The Grommet, a Somerville-based online retailer that finds and launches undiscovered products from entrepreneurs of all ages. After collaborating with professionals to fine-tune design, shape and volume, Max submitted his idea via email and soon found out he was one of 10 finalists — the only child out of the 145-person field — who were invited to Fenway Park to make live pitches to venture capitalists and the media. “At Grommet we cover 20 different categories and we’re always looking for innovation of any kind, and that’s what struck us about this,” says Kate McLeod, Vice President, Discovery at The Grommet. “It was unique, it was different, it was fun, and when we learned it was invented by an 8-year-

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old we just thought, ‘Oh, wow!’ He did a fantastic job with his presentation.” While the mug with a hoop didn’t win the event, it was the people’s choice, winning The Grommet’s fan favorite honors by garnering the most Likes on its Facebook page. Via a crowd-funding campaign on Indiegogo Max raised $6,000 to fund an initial run of 100 mugs and preproduction costs, as well as $900 for the research program at his Boston-area school, The Carroll School, an elementary and middle school for children with dyslexia and other language-based disabilities. While the family originally wanted to have the mugs manufactured in the U.S., the resulting price point was too high after an initial trial. Undeterred, they worked with a sourcing agent to find an overseas manufacturer, landing one in Thailand, where the mugs are handcrafted and handpainted. While The Grommet placed orders to sell the product on its site, the mug with a hoop also caught the eye of New York-based Uncommon Goods, a popular online retailer of unique gifts. “[Uncommon Goods] posted a picture of the mug on Facebook and they got nearly 3,000 likes in 3 days,” Jen says. It was the single-best product post in the history of the company, which placed a large order and eventually put it in their popular print catalog. Look up mug with a hoop on the site today and you’ll see it has a 5-star rating from more than 100 people who have purchased it for children, adults or themselves. One example: “Gave my brother (who is an adult, kind of) this for Christmas and he absolutely loved it. Everyone was playing on it and jealous. A fun gift for all ages!” Reviewers say they’re using the mug for more than just hot chocolate, with cereal a favorite use. “It’s been fun, it’s been great to see people enjoy the mugs,” notes Ron, who handles the shipping for those who purchase the mug at Max’s site: maxiscreations.com. “I always have them in my car.” “The thing about it that’s awesome is that when Uncommon Goods posted the product, there was no story about Max’s age or his dyslexia,” Jen adds. “The product was successful without the story,” a fact she says is a testimonial to Max’s unique vision. The feel-good backstory is just a bonus. “What’s great for us is we’re doing the business side, but Max does the sales and he’s the creative force behind the whole thing,” she adds. “People say, ‘This is so great, you’re doing this for him.’ And the truth is when this started, we were doing this for him: Let’s let him make a little business out of it. And then it became: We’re doing this for other parents. We’re doing this to show the world that if you define success in traditional terms like SAT scores,

you’re going to lose a whole group of people who are never going to do well on those tests. His brain processes things different and it’s a good thing. For us, that’s the story.” In the 18 months from art class to commercial production and availability, Max’s “professional life” has undergone just as much change as the prototype. He was issued his first patent by the U.S. Patent office, his parents are forming corporate entities on his behalf, and there are a host of lawyers to handle his affairs as well as a PR firm. He’s garnered attention from local and national media, such as Real Simple, The New York Post and Woman’s Day, professional basketball teams, hotel chains like The Four Seasons, and the International Dyslexia Association. Max was even contacted by The Naismath Basketball Hall of Fame where the mug with a hoop is now for sale. The family had a booth at the International Gift Fair in New York last month, and Max recently caught the eye of entrepreneur Daymond John, one of the stars of his favorite show, Shark Tank, who tweeted: “SO inspired to see young entrepreneurs like Max using dyslexia as motivation! Great job, buddy. Keep it up!” And there has also been success with brick and mortar retailers such as Nordstrom, which he landed when his parents encouraged him to pitch to the store manager while visiting the South Shore Plaza in Braintree. Cut to several weeks later, when the corporate buying department placed orders for 40 stores nationwide and hosted Max for a mug-signing event, during which he sold five cases in two hours. The chain is now sold out and restocking. “When you hear ‘learning disability’ you think ‘cognitive impairment,’ you don’t think neurodiversity,” Jen says. “If people could understand that just like there are tall people, short people, just as there is a need to promote racial and ethnic diversity, there are dyslexic brains and nondyslexic brains. You have to embrace difference. It’s just a difference. He sees a mug and envisions, ‘If I put a hoop on it I can play with it.’ No one else has ever thought to put a hoop on a mug — what a great example of the dyslexic advantage.” The original art-class prototype was made for big-brother Sam, now 13, who is corporate head of product testing (aka marshmallow throwing), and when asked can easily tell you which mugs are coming next from MAX’IS Creations, Inc.: the mug with a glove (baseball), which launched last month; and the upcoming mug with a goal post (football); the mug with a net (hockey) and the mug with a goal (soccer). Asked for a reaction to his brother’s success, Sam smiles wide: “I’m proud of him.”

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FINALLY FOREVER

Adoption Across Race: Key Considerations for

Prospective Parents BY MELISSA SHAW

Every year new families are built or expanded through adoption. And in the case of those who are adopt from Massachusetts’s foster case system, a large percentage of those new families are transracial. While the term technically means parents of any race adopting a child of another race, the majority of transracial adoptive parents are Caucasian, a fact that brings to the forefront questions of culture, identity and perhaps surprising considerations in these still charged and conflicted times. Many prospective parents goodheartedly come to the idea of transracial adoption color-blind, an approach that seems fine on the surface but one adoption experts say is wrong. “The world would be a better place if we didn’t have to deal with race and if we understood everybody’s the same, as if race didn’t exist,” says Beth Hall, co-founder of Pact, a multicultural adoption organization dedicated to addressing issues affecting adopted children of color. “We have to help educate white parents who are considering transracial adoption that race does matter and to learn how to talk about it. Because most of us didn’t grow up learning that and, in fact, we often learned it was kind of impolite to talk about it.” The Caucasian adoptive mother of a Latina daughter and AfricanAmerican son, Hall lives the issues personally and professionally. “Many of us, especially those who are white, have not learned how to talk about race, especially across racial lines,” she adds. “We know race is a huge factor, all you have to do is look at the news for the past 6 months to understand how polarizing race is.” Diane Tomaz, Director of Family Support Services for the Massachusetts Adoption Resource Exchange, trains and educates preadoptive parents. She agrees talking about race can be difficult, noting she sees many Caucasian adults even stumble over using the labels “black” and “white.” “You’re not going to be able to whisper about race because your

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kid’s friends won’t do that,” she says. “People always think they’re introducing the idea of race to their child, they’re popping their innocence: ‘I don’t want to talk about racism and these terrible things people may call them or say to them.’ But they really should worry that people may be saying those things to them and they have no idea what they mean or they don’t know how to respond.” Caucasian parents must be prepared to have age-appropriate discussions with their child about everything from why their skin is a different color to how to respond to derogatory remarks, Tomaz says. “Kids need language, and if you pretend that they don’t by having this sameness philosophy — by pretending everyone’s the same — I almost think you negate the importance of cultural differences that can be positive and great and foster cultural pride,” she says. “Kids aren’t dumb. Teach them the language, ‘Here’s why people have melanin and here’s why some people’s skin is dark and some people’s is not.’ I think it helps them when they’re having those conversations on the playground with kids who are making comments.” Adds Hall: “People really have to be ready to go there, to talk about race, to acknowledge that racism is real and exists.” Another key is providing diversity — settings, churches, organizations, schools and more — where the child can be immersed in his or her culture and race and not be in the minority. This is critical, experts say, especially if a family lives in a less-diverse area. “If you live in a place where there are no other adults of color, you’re going to have a hard time doing that and that means your child is going to have a hard time because that means they’re going to grow up without those role models,” Hall says. Same-race adult mentors, teachers, community members or friends are another essential element of parenting a child of a different race, experts say. As much as he may love his parents, a child needs to see

himself reflected in role models with the same color skin. “Adult adoptees are now telling us, ‘The most important thing to me was I had an African-American teacher or coach or somebody in my life who was a successful, positive adult I could look to,’” notes Tomaz, herself a transracial parent. “It doesn’t have to be somebody they have an ongoing relationship with but that they were so impacted by seeing that this person was respected in the community, as an individual, and that was their potential, too.” The importance of this means prospective parents need to take a look at their community’s makeup, as well as how they would provide such if their town is overwhelmingly Caucasian. Parents need to do their homework and figure out whether they’re willing to travel, or even move, to other cities or towns to find a more diverse church, school, sports league or even a barbershop so their child can be in the majority at specific times and places. Tomaz points to one activity prospective adoptive parents undergo in mandatory pre-adoptive training and education, in which adults are given a cup and a series of colored beads representing ethnicities and races. “We as instructors read questions aloud, such as ‘My physician is of another race,’ and whatever bead corresponds to your physician, you put in your cup. After all the statements are read you look at your cup and see just what the reality of your life is, how diverse it is. It’s really powerful,” she says. “It’s not about feeling guilty, but ‘What does my life look like now?’ ‘Am I willing to make changes or is it possible to make those changes and how would my kid feel in that world?’” If a family doesn’t live in a naturally racially diverse area, they can seek out opportunities, she says. “People often say things, like, ‘I would definitely look for cultural activities that exist,’ which is great, but I almost think the more organic or natural it can be, the better,” Tomaz says. “If, for example, you’re going to

put your kids through swim lessons, what about going to the Y that’s not in your town but to one that’s in a more diverse community? It’s hard for people depending on where they live. They have to seek that out. For some people it’s really challenging, they really have to go outside their comfort zone.” Adds Hall: “If you’re going to things like that it will follow that you make connections, make friends and make that community, but first you gotta go.” Whether it’s requesting a child get a teacher of color at school or finding out where to get her hair done, prospective transracial parents also need to realize they’re going to advocate for their children and educate themselves perhaps more than if they adopted a child of their own race. “A lot of the families I know who have adopted have had to become more courageous about asking questions of adults of color,” Tomaz notes. “They’ll go out of their way and say, ‘Your daughter’s hair looks great, where does she get it done?’ and not be afraid or intimidated. Most people are so happy to help people have ended up forming really good relationships with other adults in the community that way.” As the fathers of seven adopted children between the ages of 5 and 23, Joe Sandagato and husband Tom know this well. The men are Caucasian and four of their children identify as Mexican and Caucasian, African-American and El Salvadorian, African-American and Caucasian, and Latino and Caucasian. The couple began the adoption process in the late ’90s, a time when Joe was working for a large multinational company that was “very big on erasing race at that time,” he says. “I really was very color blind to the world, there was a bit of naiveté on that.” As a transracial parent, he realized his view had changed. “It was not in any way shape or form detrimental to our family, but it was something I began to recognize over time as a falsity in that I sort of was

acculturated to this idea that some of the race challenges didn’t exist, when they really did,” he says. “We still continue to be color blind in terms of how we look at our family, but we’re not to the way the world looks at our family or to their needs. We’ve always been very proactive to make sure they stay connected to their culture and their heritage.” He echoes Hall and Tomaz’s assertions that there are specific keys prospective parents must take into account when considering adopting across racial lines. “Out of the kindness of people’s hearts sometimes they don’t want to see or think about some of the issues, but the fact of the matter is you have to be very proactive in learning about and teaching about the cultures and heritages from which they descend,” Sandagato says. “You’re really trying to keep them connected to their heritage that is the foundation of it all.” The family lives in a small Central Massachusetts town and makes it a point to go to restaurants that reflect their children’s culture or travel to large metropolitan areas. The children also attend a regional school district, which offers a level of diversity greater than that of their tiny town. “We spend a lot of time with the

kids traveling to Boston or New York because we’re able to allow the children to exist in multicultural dimensions,” he says. “Oftentimes I say to the kids, ‘It’s not what you say it’s what you do that matters’ and I think this is one of those instances. It’s not talking about diversity, but demonstrating diversity that makes all the difference in the world. It’s going to demonstrate — not just say, but demonstrate — connectivity to the community and it creates a visual awareness of likeness and sameness that might not exist. A big piece of the process is incorporating all those rituals into your everyday life.” He shares a piece of advice from his college mentor: “In order to be successful in life you really need to be able to understand the position of the other.” “And in this case, regardless of your starting point of your own race, if you’re looking at transracial adoption you have to take some time to really think about what it’s like to be the parent of another race,” he notes. But despite a series of considerations prospective parents may not anticipate and need to address, MARE’s Tomaz says transracial adoption continues to build new Massachusetts families. “It’s so doable,” she adds. “I tell people all the time, it’s so possible.”

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FEBRUARY’S CHILD

Abeizer Next month “Abie,” as he prefers to be called, will celebrate his birthday and become a teenager. This young man of Hispanic descent hopes to become a police officer — specifically serving on the SWAT Team. He has a great sense of humor and plays most sports, however, he would like to try karate lessons. Abie enjoys reading, drawing, making things with his hands and playing cards. He is polite, well-mannered,

and has a strong sense of spirituality and family values. Abie is in the eighth grade where he is doing well and earning good grades. He has expressed he would like a family that will always keep him safe. His social worker believes Abie would do best in a single- or twoparent home that will allow for a slow transition. Abie should be the only child living in the home. He would need a family that can consistently provide structure, routine, clear limits and consequences. Abie would like to maintain contact with his birth siblings who have already been adopted and other members of his birth family. He is legally free for adoption. For more information about Abie, or the adoption process in general, please contact Department of Children and Families Adoption Supervisor Grace Kirby-Steinau at (508) 929-2033. The DCF Adoption Office in Worcester holds monthly informational meetings about the adoption process. Please call (508) 929-2143 for specific information about the next meeting.

For this month’s Circle of Friends listing of area adoption events, head to baystateparent.com.

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Photo courtesy Feld Entertainment

OUT& ABOUT

Photo courtesy Coolidge Corner Theatre

Photo courtesy Providence Children’s Film Festival

Anna, Elsa and the crew skate their way to TD Garden starting Feb. 13 for Disney on Ice: Frozen.

Brookline’s Coolidge Corner Theatre hosts Gustafer Yellowgold and his multi-media performance of live music, animated illustrations and storytelling on Feb. 1.

Explore screenings, film-making workshops, and free activities at the Providence Children’s Film Festival, Feb. 12-22.

Julie Winslow and Vanessa Trien lead The Flip Flops Family Show an audience participatory hootenanny at Cambridge’s Club Passim on Feb. 22. BAYSTATEPARENT 17

OUT&ABOUT

preschooler to the Zoo as we learn about all kinds of frogs. For children ages 3 to 4 with an adult. Register ahead. Members $8, nonmembers $10. zoonewengland.org.

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First Friday Night Free. The Discovery Museums, 177 Main Street Acton. 4:30 p.m.8:30 p.m. Explore the museums for free on the first Friday night of every month. Food donations accepted for Open Table of Concord and Maynard and the Acton Food Pantry. discoverymuseums.org.

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MELTDOWN WARNING: Before you pack up the mini-van, please confirm your destination. Although we’ve done our best to ensure accuracy at press time, things can and do change…

3 Tuesday

Photo courtesy MIT Museum

iToddlers. Newton Free Library, 330 Homer Street, Newton. 10:30 a.m.-11 a.m. Watch and listen to a story, sing a song, play an instrument. Space is limited. Please pick up a ticket at the Children’s Desk starting 1/2 hour before the program begins. Free. newtonfreelibrary.net.

Students of all ages will have opportunities to explore the world of science imaging through workshops and drop-in activities during MIT Museum’s FebFest, starting Feb. 16.

1 Sunday Gustafer Yellowgold. Coolidge Corner Theatre, 290 Harvard Street, Brookline. 10:30 a.m. Praised by The New York Times and Entertainment Weekly, Gustafer Yellowgold brings his live video incorporated songs and international acclaim to The Coolidge. Recommended for ages 3 and up. Adults $11, children $8. coolidge.org. Sleeping Beauty. Regent Theatre, 7 Medford Street, Arlington. 11 a.m. The Tanglewood Marionettes present this retelling of the children’s classic fairytale in an enchanting and whimsical fashion sure to delight all. Arlington Family Connection members $5, general admission $8. regenttheatre.com. Origami Flowers. Worcester Art Museum, 55 Salisbury Street, Worcester. 11:30 a.m.1:30 p.m. Join faculty member Harou Shiga for an interactive drop-in origami making session. Space is limited and first-come, firstserved. Members free, nonmembers $20, youth $6. worcesterart.org. Flora in Winter Concert. Worcester Art Museum, 55 Salisbury Street, Worcester. 2 p.m.-3 p.m. Come enjoy musical performances by the Shrewsbury High School Women’s Choir and Flora The Master Singers to Go. Members free, nonmembers $20, youths $6. worcester art.org. Jake on the Oval. Worcester Common Oval, 455 Main Street, Worcester. 18 FEBRUARY2015 19

2 p.m.-4 p.m. The Worcester Common ice skating Oval gets a visit from Jake the Lion of the Worcester Bravehearts. Admission $2, skate rental $3. worcestermass.org. Recycled Art for Tu B’Shevat. Ready, Set, Kids!, 284 Broadway, Arlington. 3:30 p.m.5 p.m. Tu B’Shevat celebrates the birthday of the trees and our relationship to nature. Drop-in for a cupcake and make a recycled art project to mark the holiday. For families with children ages 2 and up. Free. bostonjcc.org.

2 Monday MFA Playdates. Museum of Fine Arts, 465 Huntington Avenue, Boston. 10:15 a.m.11:15 a.m. Covering this month’s theme of “Friends and Family”, bring your toddler to enjoy story time and looking activities in the galleries, with tours leaving on a rolling basis. Recommended for children ages 4 and younger with adult. Free with admission. Adults $25, children under 6 free. mfa.org. Parent Tour and Info Session. eBridge Montessori School, 57 E. Main Street, Westborough. 4 p.m.-5:15 p.m. Learn about Montessori educational curriculum and discovery learning for children 15 months and older. For adults. Register ahead. (508) 366-9266. Family Games. Newton Free Library, 330 Homer Street, Newton. 4 p.m.-5 p.m. Bring the entire family for this drop-in, no advance planning, quality time together playing games. Free. newtonfreelibrary.net.

ASD Friendly Afternoons. The Discovery Museums, 177 Main Street, Acton. 1:30 p.m.4:30 p.m. A dedicated room will be available to welcome families with a child with an ASD to orient them to the campus and programs, and provide a quiet space for children needing a break from the stimulation of the museums. Pre-registration required, space limited. Adults $11.50, seniors $10.50, children $11.50, under 1 free. discoverymuseums.org. Steampunk Jewelry Craft. Worcester Public Library, 3 Salem Square, Worcester. 3 p.m.4 p.m. Steampunk asks the question: What if we continued to use steam power for all of our technology? Come make a steampunk-style necklace or earrings using old clock parts. For ages 13 to 18. Free. worcpublib.org. HumanArts Jazz Trio. Assumption College, Kennedy Building, 500 Salisbury Street, Worcester. 7 p.m.-9 p.m. Pianistvocalist Barry Gurley plays uniquely stylized versions of songs from the ’40s and ’50s jazz vocal repertoire to pop artists such as The Beatles and Stevie Wonder. Free. assumption.edu/humanarts.

4 Wednesday An Afternoon with Edgar Allen Poe. Morse Institute, 14 Central Street, Natick. 3 p.m. Poe himself, portrayed by scholar and speaker Rob Velella, makes an unexpected appearance to share his life and selected works with the audience. Free. morseinstitute.org.

5 Thursday Children’s Room Story Time. Ayer Library, 26 East Main Street, Ayer. 10:30. Get out of the house, meet new friends and enjoy a good story. 978-772-8250. Paint Lab. CC Lowell Art Supplies & Framing, 258 Park Avenue, Worcester. 4:30 p.m.5:30 p.m. Have fun with this step-by-step instructional with everything you’ll need to make your own butterfly painting. For ages 6 to 12. $15. cclowell.com.

Take Your Child To The Library Day. Newton Free Library, 330 Homer Street, Newton. 10 a.m.-3 p.m. Celebrate Take Your Child To the Library Day! Kids of all ages can drop by to decorate a bookmark to take home and enter a raffle to win a book. Free. newtonfreelibrary.net. Winter Farmers Market. Chelmsford Agway, 24 Maple Road, Chelmsford. 10 a.m.2 p.m. Enjoy an indoor winter farmers market with vendors selling fresh produce and meats from local farms, as well as locally sourced baked goods and a variety of seminars. Free. chelmsfordagwayfarmersmarket.blogspot.com. Idea Hub: Hands on Engineering and Design. MIT Museum, 265 Massachusetts Avenue, Cambridge. 11 a.m.-1 p.m. Explore topics in design and engineering with artistic circuits, 3D programs, and a variety of other hands-on making and tinkering topics. Appropriate for ages 12 and up. Free with Admission. Adults $10, youth under 18 $5, children under 5 free. web.mit.edu/museum. Winterfest. Fruitlands Museum, 102 Prospect Hill Road, Harvard. 12 p.m.-5 p.m. Saturdays through March 29. Bring your sleds, snowshoes, and cross country skis for some high-energy fun as you explore our snow covered hills and woodland trails. Check fruitlands.org for snow conditions. Members free, nonmembers $5. South Station History Tour. South Station, 700 Atlantic Avenue, Boston. 1 p.m.-2 p.m. Join us on this behind-the-scenes guided tour highlighting the architecture and history of Boston’s busiest station. Free. south-station.net.

6 Friday

Teen Stop-Motion Animation Workshop. New Art Center, 61 Washington Park, Newtonville. 1 p.m.-4 p.m. Learn the basics of stop-motion animation, story boarding, and more while creating a collaborative film to share with your family and friends, with artist and filmmaker Stephen St. Francis Decky. For teens grades 7-10. Free. newtonartcenter.org.

Hop to It (Frogs!). Franklin Park Zoo, 1 Franklin Park Road, Boston. 10:15 a.m.11a.m. Get out of the house and bring your

LexFUN! Presents “Cinderella”. Scottish Rite Masonic Museum & Library, 33 Marrett Road, Lexington. 1 p.m. & 3 p.m. Unfolding

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on the pages of a giant storybook, this classic fairytale is told with wit and style by the Tanglewood Marionettes and is sure to please audiences of all ages. LexFUN! members $7, nonmembers $10, children under 12 months free. lexfun.org. Pieces of the Past. Scottish Rite Masonic Museum & Library, 33 Marrett Road, Lexington. 2 p.m.-3 p.m. Come explore 19th century and historical relics including medals crafted from copper taken from George Washington’s tomb, and take a tour by gallery staff. Free. nationalheritagemuseum.org. Eclectic Jazz Afternoon. Pakachoag Music School of Greater Worcester, 203 Pakachoag Street, Auburn. 2 p.m.-4 p.m. Join Pakachoag Music School faculty for “It Might As Well Be Spring” including old time favorites, rhythm & blues, and crossover selections. Recommended for children in elementary school and up. Free. pakmusic.org. Up Close & Personal with the Owls of Broadmoor. Broadmoor Wildlife Sanctuary, 280 Elliot Street, Natick. 3 p.m.-4 p.m. Come explore the wonders of owls with friends and family with this up close and personal view of some of our local owl species. Ages 5 and up. Members: adults $15, children $8, nonmembers: adults $18, children $10. Register ahead. massaudubon.org.

PJ Library Owl Prowl. Broadmoor Wildlife Sanctuary, 280 Elliot Street, Natick. 6:30 p.m.-8 p.m. Bring the family for a moonlit Tu B’Shevat-themed evening walk in a New England forest and learn about owl calls, behavior, and habitat before munching on provided snacks. For families with children ages 6 to 10. $8 per person. bostonjcc.org.

8 Sunday Hands-On History. Concord Museum, 53 Cambridge Turnpike, Concord. 1 p.m.4 p.m. An afteroon for kids and families to learn together through crafts, history hunts, and special gallery activities. Try your hand at making 18th and 19th century cards. Free with admission. Members free, adults $15, children 4 to 18 $6, children under 4 free. concordmuseum.org. Stuart Little: The Musical. Cambridge YMCA, 820 Mass Ave., Cambridge. 2 p.m. & 4 p.m. Experience this classic tale based on the book by E.B. White on stage at BCT in this fun and engaging musical production. Elsa at the Oval. Worcester Common Oval, 455 Main Street, Worcester. 2 p.m.-4 p.m. The Worcester Common ice skating Oval gets a special visit from Queen Elsa from Disney’s Frozen. Admission $2, skates $3. worcestermass.org.

Winter Carnival. NARA Park, 25 Ledge Rock Way, Acton. 4 p.m.-7 p.m. Bring the family out for a fun evening of winter activities, including a DJ dance party, tractor hayrides, and campfire and marshmallow toasting. Free. (978) 929-6640.

Boston Children’s Chorus. Shalin Liu Performance Center, 37 Main Street, Rockport. 3 p.m. Performers ages 7-18 from diverse backgrounds unite in a celebration of shared humanity and love of music. Purchase tickets ahead. Tickets $15. bostonchildrenschorus.org.

The Lego Movie and Dinner. Our World Global Discovery Museum, 100 Sohier Street, Cohasset. 5 p.m.-7 p.m. Celebrate Havdalah, the end of Shabbat, at our popular annual movie night featuring kosher-style pizza followed by a showing of The Lego Movie for kids. For families with children ages 2 and up. Per family $20, walk-in families $25. bostonjcc.org.

Fun with Animal Footprints & Signs. Broadmoor Wildlife Sanctuary, 280 Elliot Street, Natick. 3 p.m.-4:15 p.m. Find out answers to mysteries of the animal world while looking for signs of otters, rabbit, deer, and more animals. For ages 6 to 16. Members: adults $11, children $6; nonmembers: adults $13, children $8. Register ahead. massaudubon.org.

Photo courtesy Faneuil Hall Marketplace

OUT&ABOUT

Watch local merchants build their floats and join in the parade during Faneuil Hall Marketplace’s Mardi Gras Celebration on Feb. 17.

9 Monday Valentine Day Craft. Boston Public Library: Hyde Park, 35 Harvard Avenue, Hyde Park. Create a heartfelt valentine for a friend or family member. Free. bpl.org.

10 Tuesday Vietnamese New Year Party. Boston Public Library: Fields Corner, 1520 Dorchester Avenue, Dorchester. 5 p.m.-7 p.m. Please join us in the Community Room for a Tet Celebration. There will be music, singing, food, and fun. Free. bpl.org.

11 Wednesday

Garden Discovery Program. Tower Hill Botanic Garden, 11 French Drive, Boylston.

10 a.m.-11 a.m. Not everyone in the world knows what snow is and not every plant can grow where we have snow. Join us as we explore and investigate plants from far off lands. For ages 3 to 5. Free with admission. Members free, nonmembers $12, youth 6 to 18 $7, children under 6 free. towerhillbg.org.

12 Thursday Providence Children’s Film Festival. Begins today running through Feb. 22, featuring independent feature films, shorts, and presentations for children ages 3-18. Held at several venues within walking distance of downtown Providence, the eightday festival features film-making workshops and free activities. For a full schedule, visit pcffri.org.

For more events, visit baystateparent.com Visit baystateparent every day on Facebook and Twitter! Visit us daily on Facebook, Twitter, and baystateparent.com where we share the news you can use: the latest child and family news and info, exclusive online-only contests, events and much more.

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BAYSTATEPARENT 18 19

OUT&ABOUT Zumba. Worcester Public Library: Tatnuck Branch, 1083 Pleasant Street, Worcester. 4 p.m.-5 p.m. Get your exercise today in the best way–dance with Zumba on the big screen. For ages 8 and up. Free. worcpublib.org. “Please Don’t Eat the Daisies.” New Art Center, 61 Washington Park, Newtonville. 6:30 p.m.-9 p.m. Join us for a screening of this classic 1960 comedy starring Doris Day and David Niven, followed by a discussion with curator Michael Gaughran on art and camp. Free. newartcenter.org.

13 Friday Anime Appetizers. Worcester Public Library: Main Library, 3 Salem Square, Worcester. 3 p.m.-5 p.m. Come for a trivia contest with awesome prizes and a sample platter of the best Japanese cartoons out there in HD. Prizes, snacks, anime, and a welcoming place to kick back and chat provided. For ages 13 to 18. Free. worcpublib.org. Pawned Videogaming. Worcester Public Library: Tatnuck Branch, 1083 Pleasant Street, Worcester. 4 p.m.-5 p.m. Kids are invited to play videogames on the big screen. For ages 8 to 17. Free. worcpublib.org. Second Fridays. MIT Museum, 265 Massachusetts Avenue, Cambridge. 5 p.m.-8 p.m. Jump-start your weekend at the MIT museum. Mix and Mingle, relax and rewind. Free with Admission. Adults $10, youth under 18 $5, children under 5 free. mit.edu/museum. Disney on Ice: Frozen. TD Garden, 100 Legends Way, Boston. 7 p.m. Performances through Feb. 22. The Academy Award winning and No. 1 animated feature film of all time comes to life, fittingly, on ice. Tickets start at $25. tdgarden.com.

14 Saturday Flora for Families. Tower Hill Botanic Garden, 11 French Drive, Boylston. 9 a.m.-5 p.m. Come experience this kid-friendly and activity filled flower-inspired journey. Free with admission. Members free, nonmembers $12, youth 6 to 18 $7, children under 6 free. towerhillbg.org. Modern Train Show. The Scottish Rite Masonic Museum and Library, 33 Marrett Road, Lexington. 10 a.m.-4:30 p.m. The Northeast Ntrak Modular Railroad Club presents their collection of model trains. $7 per family, $5 per individual. nationalheritagemuseum.org. Wayne Potash and the Music Fun Band. Coolidge Corner Theatre, 290 Harvard Street, Brookline. 10:30 a.m. Winner of a Parents

Choice Award, Wayne and his band of seasoned professionals put on high-energy shows that engage young audiences with sing-a-longs, dancing, jumping, and lots of good-natured fun with songs. Adults $11, children $8. coolidge.org. Idea Hub: Hands on Engineering and Design. MIT Museum, 265 Massachusetts Avenue, Cambridge. 11 a.m.-1 p.m. Explore topics in design and engineering with artistic circuits, 3D programs, and a variety of other hands-on making and tinkering topics! Appropriate for ages 12 and up. Free with admission. Adults $10, youth under 18 $5, children under 5 free. mit.edu/museum. Stacy Peasley Band. TCAN Center for Arts, 14 Summer Street, Natick. 11 a.m. Stacey Peasley combines her love of children and music into a lively act that engages kids and creates memorable and fun sing-along songs as a part of her 20-year career in music. Adults $10, children $8. natickarts.org. The MET Opera Live: Iolanta & Barato. Shalin Liu Performance Center, 37 Main Street, Rockport. 12:55 p.m. Join the HD broadcasts of two operatic performances, first following a beautiful blind girl experiencing love for the first time, then the unwitting victim of the diabolical Bluebeard. Recommended for ages 12 and up. Purchase tickets ahead. Tickets $20 to $32. rockportmusic.org. Whooo Loves Owls? South Shore Natural Science Center, 48 Jacobs Lane, Norwell. 5 p.m.-6:30 p.m. Great Horned Owls are already nesting and Eastern Screech-Owls are starting to think about it, so stop in for a delightful evening stroll. Register ahead. For ages 8 and up. Members $5, nonmembers $8. southshorenaturalsciencecenter.org.

15 Sunday Owl Day. South Shore Natural Science Center, 48 Jacobs Lane, Norwell. 11 a.m.-4 p.m. Visit Vine Hall and the EcoZone for games, crafts and experiments having to do with the lives of the owls of our region including Snowy, Great Horned, Eastern Screech, and Northern Sawwhet. Free with admission. Members free, nonmember adults $7, children 2 to 15 $3, under 2 free. southshorenaturalsciencecenter.org.

16 Monday Happy Birthday, Little Joe. Franklin Park Zoo, 1 Franklin Park Zoo Road, Boston. Starts at 10:15 a.m. Join the Franklin Park Zoo on this special day to celebrate the birthday of Little Joe. Free with admission. Members free, adults $18, children 2 to 12 $12, children under 2 free. zoonewengland.org.

For more events, visit baystateparent.com 20 FEBRUARY2015 21

OUT&ABOUT Visualizing Science. MIT Museum, 265 Massachusetts Avenue, Cambridge. 11 a.m.-1 a.m. & 2 p.m.-4 p.m. Test your observation skills with artifacts from MIT research labs as you explore microscopy, biological engineering, nanoscience, and nanotechology research at MIT. For students in grades 6-12. Register ahead. Free with Admission. Adults $10, youth under 18 $5, children under 5 free. mit.edu/museum. Toying with Science. Leventhnal-Sidman Jewish Community Center, 333 Nahanton Street, Newton. 11 a.m. & 1 p.m. Discover the fascinating and fun world of science during this action-packed show filled with circus skills, comedy, original music, and plenty of audience participation. Recommended for ages 4 to 10 with adult. Purchase tickets ahead. JCC members $11, nonmembers $13. bostonjcc. org/magicark. Eyes on Owls. South Shore Natural Science Center, 48 Jacobs Lane, Norwell. 11 a.m., 1 p.m., & 3 p.m. Owl expert Marcia Wilson will introduce us to her menagerie of owls in these 60-minute shows. Get an up-close view of these amazing denizens of the New England fields and forests, promising to be a hoot. Tickets required. For ages 3 and up. Members $7, nonmembers $10. southshorenaturalsciencecenter.org. A Visit with the Lincolns. Concord Museum, 53 Cambridge Turnpike., Concord. 1 p.m.-2 p.m. A one-time-only opportunity to sit and chat with President and Mrs. Lincoln, exploring their experiences both personally and nationally while in the White House. Reserve ahead. Members: $10 adults, $5 children, nonmembers: $15 adults, $7 children. concordmuseum.org. Drop-In Family Day. The Umbrella, 40 Stow Street, Concord. 2 p.m.-5:30 p.m. We invite families throughout the area to drop in and unleash their creativity through workshops providing artistic exploration using a variety of tools and mediums. Free. theumbrellaarts.org.

17 Tuesday iToddlers. Newton Free Library, 330 Homer Street, Newton. 10:30 a.m.-11 a.m. Watch and listen to a story, sing a song, play an instrument. Space is limited. Please pick up a ticket at the Children’s Desk starting 1/2 hour before the program begins. Free. newtonfreelibrary.net. Make to Move. MIT Museum, 265 Massachusetts Avenue, Cambridge. 11 a.m.-1 a.m. & 2 p.m.-4 p.m. Get inspired by Arthur Ganson’s kinetic works! Find your own inner artist + engineer by creating your own

moving sculpture. For students in grades 6-12. Register ahead. Free with Admission. Adults $10, youth under 18 $5, children under 5 free. mit.edu/museum. Kid-Sized Flower Press. Tower Hill Botanic Garden, 11 French Drive, Boylston. 1 p.m.2 p.m. With step-by-step instructions and all materials supplied, bring your child to create a mini wooden flower press and learn the basic technique for pressing flowers just in time for spring. Members $10, nonmembers $12. towerhillbg.org. Boston Ballet Story Hour. Newton Free Library, 330 Homer Street, Newton. 3 p.m.4 p.m. Have your child enjoy this especially enchanting story-hour, which promises to entertain all attending. Recommended for ages 3 to 7. Free. newtonfreelibrary.net. Vacation Week Scavenger Hunt. Worcester Public Library: Roosevelt Branch, 1006 Grafton Street, Worcester. 4:30 p.m.-5:30 p.m. Bust the winter boredom and become a sleuth at the library and win a prize. Free. worcpublib.org. Mardi Gras Celebration. Faneuil Hall Marketplace, West End Promenade, 1 Faneuil Hall Square, Boston. 5 p.m. Jump in line for the Mardi Gras procession around Faneuil Hall Marketplace with colorful, creative floats from neighborhood restaurants. Float Decorating Contest begins at 2 p.m. if you want to watch float makers tap into their colorful, creative side. faneuilhallmarketplace.com.

18 Wednesday Celebrate! with Benkadi Drum and Dance. JFK Presidential Library, 220 Morrissey Boulevard., Boston. 10:30 a.m.-11:30 a.m. Join us for a celebration of African-American Heritage Month as this multicultural group performs traditional rhythms and movement from countries of Mali and Guinea. Register ahead. Free. jfklibrary.org. Physics & Photography. MIT Museum, 265 Massachusetts Avenue, Cambridge. 11 a.m.-1 a.m. & 2 p.m.-4 p.m. Make waves, explore magnetism, and try your hand at strobe photography featuring the work of Berenice Abbot and Doc Edgerton. For students in grades 6-12. Register ahead. Free with admission. Adults $10, youth under 18 $5, children under 5 free. mit.edu/museum. Pluto Day. The Discovery Museums, Science Discovery Museum, 177 Main Street, Acton. 11 a.m.- 2 p.m., drop-in. On February 18, 1930 Clyde Tombaugh of the Lowell Observatory in Flagstaff, Arizona discovered what was then considered the ninth planet – Pluto. Now a dwarf planet, we’ll honor this celestial discovery

VACATION FUN FOR EVERYONE Monday, Feb. 16 Malik the Magic Guy 11:00am - 1:00pm

Tue, Feb. 17 · Blinkee the Clown 11:00am - 1:00pm

Wed, Feb. 18 · Animal Adventures 11:00am - 12:00pm

Thu, Feb. 19 · Mystery Guest 11:00am - 1:00pm

Friday, Feb. 20 Mr. DJ’s Dance Party 11:30am - 1:00pm

For more info please visit us at themallatwhitneyfield.com

KID’S CLUB

Join the club & join in the fun. Free kids’ events every month, free membership, birthday surprises, special offers, your very own membership card and really cool prizes. Registration begins Feb. 16

Burlington, JC Penney, Macy’s, Sears, Toys R Us & more than 60 specialty stores 100 Commercial Rd. Leominster, MA At the junction of Route 2 & I -190 978.537.7500 www.themallatwhitneyfield.com

For more events, visit baystateparent.com BAYSTATEPARENT 20 21

OUT&ABOUT by making straw powered rockets. Where in the galaxy will your rocket take you? Adults $11.50, Seniors $10.50, children $11.50, under 1 free. discoverymuseums.org. S’Mores at the Commons. Worcester Common Oval, 455 Main Street, Worcester. 12 p.m.-5 p.m. Venture down to the Commons for a day of mixing marshmallows, chocolate and graham crackers together for a delightful treat. Admission $2, skate rental $3. worcestermass.org.

19 Thursday Hello Holography. MIT Museum, 265 Massachusetts Avenue, Cambridge. 11 a.m.-1p.m. & 2 p.m.-4 p.m. Learn about the science behind 3D imagery as you explore the properties of light and the MIT Museum’s captivating holography exhibition. For students in grades 6-12. Register ahead. Free with Admission. Adults $10, youth under 18 $5, children under 5 free. mit.edu/museum. No Wax Batik Class. Tower Hill Botanic Garden, 11 French Drive, Boylston. 1 p.m.2 p.m. Our technique for batik is kid friendly while not removing the wonderful results from traditional hot wax batik. Create a vibrant and colorful piece of art with a floral motif, suitable for finishing as a scarf or wall hanging.

Members $10, nonmembers $15. towerhillbg.org. Teen Yoga. Morse Institute, 14 East Central Street, Natick. 3 p.m.-4:15 p.m. Promoting inner peace and outer strength, this meeting will empower and inspire teens while exploring yoga poses, philosophy, breath work, and meditation. Register ahead. For ages 11 to 18. Free. morseinstitute.org. Crafternoon. Worcester Public Library: Roosevelt Branch, 1006 Grafton Street, Worcester. 3:30 p.m.-4:30 p.m. A story-time and crafts. For ages 5 and up, below 5 bring a creative adult. Free. worcpublib.org. Magician Debbie O’Carroll. Newton Free Library, 330 Homer Street, Newton. 4 p.m.5 p.m. Magician Debbie O’Carroll’s magic hat is on the fritz. Join her as she chooses her newest hat, from an Indian sorcerer’s turban, a fairy godmother’s crown from France, a sprite’s headdress from Ghana, and many more in this zany comedic show. Free. newtonfreelibrary.net.

20 Friday Introduction to Robotics. MIT Museum, 265 Massachusetts Avenue, Cambridge. 11 a.m.-1 p.m. Learn to program a Lego Mindstorms robot and take a tour of the Robots

Winter/Spring 2015 at Wheelock Family Theatre

& Beyond exhibition with a Museum educator. For students in grades 6-12. Free with Admission. Adults $10, youth under 18 $5, children under 5 free. mit.edu/museum. A Teddy Bear Tea. Concord Museum, 53 Cambridge Turnpike, Concord. 1:30 p.m. & 3 p.m. Delight your child or grandchild and their favorite stuffed animal as you sip on tea or cocoa while enjoying sweet treats. Reserve ahead. Members $15 per person, nonmembers $20 per person. concordmuseum.org. Gel Transfers. MIT Museum, 265 Massachusetts Avenue, Cambridge. 2 p.m.-4 p.m. Take your digital photographs from the computer screen to the artist’s canvas! Hosted by the MIT Student Art Association. Please bring your own digital camera or smartphone. Free with Admission. Adults $10, youth under 18 $5, children under 5 free. mit.edu/museum. Mary Jo Maichack African Storytelling. Worcester Public Library, 3 Salem Square, Worcester. 2 p.m.-3 p.m. An hour of enchanting and fascinating storytelling, promising to engage. Free. worcpublib.org. Game On Family Game Night. Worcester Public Library: Roosevelt Branch, 1006 Grafton Street, Worcester. 4 p.m.-5 p.m. Choose

from several board games, play against other families and meet new friends. Free. worcpublib.org. Bingo. Worcester Public Library: Tatnuck Branch, 1083 Pleasant Street, Worcester. 4:30 p.m.-5:30 p.m. The entire family is invited to try their luck with this classic game with snacks and house prizes for victors. Free. worcpublib.org. ’80s Skate Night. Worcester Common Oval, 455 Main Street, Worcester. 5 p.m.-8 p.m. Take a walk down memory lane — or not — during this rocking skating event featuring the sounds of the ’80s. Admission $2, skate rental $3. worcestermass.org.

21 Saturday Mo Willems Day. Newton Free Library, 330 Homer Street, Newton. 10 a.m.3 p.m. Stop by the Children’s Room for several do-it-yourself activities featuring Mo Willem’s creations, and get your picture taken with Elephant, Piggie, and the Pigeon. Recommended for ages 3 and up. Free. newtonfreelibrary.net. Rolie Polie Guacamole. Regent Theatre, 7 Medford Street, Arlington. 10:30 a.m. Part of Regent Theatre’s Family Fun Saturdays, Rolie Polie Guacamole’s high energy, interactive

Come Play for a Day or Stay All Day!

Professional, Affordable Theatre for Every Generation!

Where it never rains

Education at WFT:

Enhance Learning and Develop Skills with Performance-based Programs for Children, Youth, and Teens.

Winter and Spring Weekly Classes. Vacation Week Classes in February, March, and April.

Summer Programs 2015! Act now! Located in Boston’s historic Fenway neighborhood. 200 The Riverway, Boston Box Office: 617-879-2300 tickets@wheelock.edu

www.WheelockFamilyTheatre.org 22 FEBRUARY2015 23

• • • • • • • • •

Open Play Monday - Saturday Birthday Parties Drop Off Care Moms Groups, Holiday Parties and Playdates Parenting workshops Parents Night Out Designed for children ages 1 to 12 years Play Passes are available* Summer Camps

*Passes are not accepted towards special events

Bring in a non-perishable food item to receive $1.00 OFF admission. Valid until 3/15/15. Visit our website www.playtownexpress.com for additional details Purchase Frequent Play Pass and receive Bring in thisour coupon and receive 1 complementary ADMISSION whenadmissions you bring aFREE friend !to play!until (siblings excluded) Valid 3/15/15. 2 additional 150 Cordaville Rd, Southboro, MA 01772

508-480-0022

OUT&ABOUT shows are a mix of funk, rock, and folk music mashed into original tunes about natural living, eating healthy, and staying active. General admission $10, children $8. regenttheatre.com.

Troubadour” brings an infectious energy to his sing-alongs, peppered with well-known classics and a few soon-to-be classics, to delight parents and kids alike. Free. newtonfreelibrary.net.

Idea Hub: Hands on Engineering and Design. MIT Museum, 265 Massachusetts Avenue, Cambridge. 11 a.m.-1 p.m. Explore topics in design and engineering with artistic circuits, 3D programs, and a variety of other hands-on making and tinkering topics! Appropriate for ages 12 and up. Free with Admission. Adults $10, youth under 18 $5, children under 5 free. mit.edu/museum.

3D Printing for Kids. Newton Free Library, 330 Homer Street, Newton. 2 p.m.-4 p.m. Learn how 3D printing works by using Tinkercard to design your own threedimensional creations in this interactive activity. For youths in grades 2 to 5. Register ahead online. Free. newtonfreelibrary.net.

Polaroid Portrait Project. deCordova Sculpture Park and Museum, 51 Sandy Pond Road, Lincoln. 11 a.m.-4 p.m. Join project creators in this unique experience of utilizing Polaroid camera from the 1970s to take portraits of visitors and add images to our growing gallery wall. Free with admission. Adults $14, children 12 and under free. decordova.org.

Peter and the Wolf with Hansel and Gretel. Hanover Theatre, 2 Southbridge Street, Worcester. 6 p.m. This collaborative production by Youth Ballet of Worcester County and the WPI orchestra unifies music and movement to cultivate the musical taste of children. Purchase ahead. Tickets $20. thehanovertheatre.org.

22 Sunday

“Babe.” Coolidge Corner Theatre, 290 Harvard Street, Brookline. 10:30 a.m. This Academy Award winning and Best Picture nominee telling the inspirational story of a shy Yorkshire piglet who doesn’t quite know his place in the world. Adults $7, children $5. coolidge.org. Worcester Symphonic Project. Mechanics Hall, 321 Main Street, Worcester. 3 p.m.5 p.m. Now in its third year, bring the entire family to this performance uniting college students, area professional and adult amateur musicians, and qualified young instrumentalists to create an 80-piece orchestra, ranging in age from 8 to over 70. Adults $15, youth 18 and up $5. musicworcester.org. The Flip Flops Family Show. Club Passim, 47 Palmer Street, Cambridge. 3:30 p.m. Join this audience-participatory hootenanny led by the soaring vocal harmonies of Julie Winslow and Vanessa Trien, backed by a great home-grown Flip Flops band, and most importantly, your voices chiming in. Non-Passim Members: $10/Passim Members: $8/Children: $8. passim.org

23 Monday Foam Snow Globes Craft. Boston Public Library: Hyde Park, 35 Harvard Avenue, Hyde Park. 5:30 p.m.-6:30 p.m. Create your own winter wonderland with these foam cut-outs. Free. bpl.org.

24 Tuesday Matt Heaton Family Sing-Along. Newton Free Library, 330 Homer Street, Newton. 10:30 a.m.-11:15 a.m. The “Toddlerbilly

25 Wednesday

King Lear in HD. Shalin Liu Performance Center, 37 Main Street, Rockport. 7 p.m. Experience this performance from the Stratford Shakespeare Festival, telling the tale of an aging monarch resolved to divide his kingdom among his three daughters, and facing consequences he little expected. Recommended for ages 12 and up. Adults $22, students $15, youth $5. rockportmusic.org.

26 Thursday Celebrate National Engineering Week: Take Aparts. The Discovery Museums 177 Main Street, Acton. 2 p.m.-4:30 p.m., drop-in. Are you curious about what’s inside telephones and computers? Adults $11.50, Seniors $10.50, children $11.50, under 1 free. discoverymuseums.org.

28 Saturday Tanglewood Marionettes’ Hansel & Gretel. Coolidge Corner Theatre, 290 Harvard Street, Brookline. 10:30 a.m. This colorful set is in the shape of a giant story book, portraying the classic Grimm’s fairytale with melodies from the Humperdink Opera. Recommended for ages 5 and up. Adults $11, children $8. coolidge.org. Idea Hub: Hands on Engineering and Design. MIT Museum, 265 Massachusetts Avenue, Cambridge. 11 a.m.-1 p.m. Explore topics in design and engineering with artistic circuits, 3D programs, and a variety of other hands-on making and tinkering topics! Appropriate for ages 12 and up. Free with admission. Adults $10, youth under 18 $5, children under 5 free. web.mit.edu/museum. Justin Roberts & the Not Ready for Naptime Players. TCAN Center for Arts, 14 Summer Street, Natick. 11 a.m. With numerous national awards and recognition and a devoted fan base, Justin and The Not Ready for Naptime Players dish out unexpectedly intelligent and whimsically rocking music for kids and their parents. Adults $10, children $8. natickarts.org. Fun with Animal Footprints & Signs. Broadmoor Wildlife Sanctuary, 280 Elliot Street,

Natick. 1 p.m.-2:30 p.m. Find out answers to mysteries of the animal world, while looking for signs of otters, rabbit, deer, and more animals. For children 6 to 16. Members: adults $11, children $6, nonmembers: adults $13, children $8. Register ahead. massaudubon.org. New Art Center. Newton Free Library, 330 Homer Street, Newton. 2 p.m.-3 p.m. Join the Newton Free Library and the New Art Center for a crafty afternoon of fun. Please pick-up a ticket at the Children’s Desk starting half an hour before the program begins. For ages 6 to 10. Free. newtonfreelibrary.net. Wild Kratts Live. Hanover Theatre, 2 Southbridge Street, Worcester. 4 p.m. & 7 p.m. Animated Kratt Brothers, Martin and Christ, “come to real life” in a classically Wild Kratts story to delight all, running for 90 minutes including a 15-minute intermission. Purchase ahead. Tickets from $20 to $35. thehanovertheatre.org. PJ Library Purim Masquerade Ball. Natick Community Center, 117 East Central Street, Natick. 5 p.m.-7 p.m. Come in costume and join DJ Mike at our Masquerade Ball, beginning with a short Havdalah service, followed by decorating masks, dancing, and fun musical games, with a light dinner provided. For families with children ages 2 to 8. $20 per family, $25 for walk-ins. bostonjcc.org.

Experience nature from an animal’s point of view!

New Dads Group. The Freedman Center, 1 Wells Avenue, Newton. 7 p.m. For first-time Dads of babies up to 12 months, this group offers new dads an opportunity to ask questions, learn skills, share experiences of fatherhood and make new friends. Free. mspp.edu.

27 Friday African Drumming & Dancing. Worcester Public Library: Main Library, 3 Salem Square, Worcester. 3:30 p.m.-5 p.m. Experience with pleasure the sounds from another culture during this fantastic event. Free. worcpublib.org. Taste and See Shabbat with a Twist. Mansfield Public Library, 255 Hope Street, Mansfield. 3:30 p.m.-4:45 p.m. Come in costume for a family-friendly afternoon that mingles the traditions of Shabbat with the fun of Purim, gathering for stories, songs, a craft, and to eat hamantaschen. Free. bostonjcc.org.

Produced by:

Funded by:

Local sponsor:

School Vacation Week February 16-20 • 10 am-5 pm

Daily live performances, hands-on art, and science experiments.

Free with museum admission!

21 Edwards Street, Springfield, MA 01103 • springfieldmuseums.org •

BAYSTATEPARENT 22 23

WINTER

at Old Sturbridge Village

Wonderful ! Savings Adult Admission✱

January and February 2015

✱To redeem, download and complete a coupon at www.osv.org.

WinterFest

February 14 –22, 9:30 am to 4:00 pm Feb. 14: Chocolate & Valentines Feb. 15-16: Celebrate Presidents’ Day Feb. 21: Sleigh Rally www.osv.org Old Sturbridge Village, Sturbridge MA

24 FEBRUARY2015 25

Fiesta, Food,

Family Fun!!!

• Kids Menu • 15 Specialty Margaritas • Over 100 Authentic Mexican Meals Sunday-Thursday 11:00 am-10:00pm 1 (508) 366-2153 45 Belmont Rd Northborough, MA

Friday-Saturday 11:00am-11:00pm (401)-333-6900 2022 Mendon Road Cumberland, RI

www.casavallarta1.com

BAYSTATEPARENT 24 25

Jason Threlfall photo, courtesy of CISA.

Inside Massachusetts’ Local-Grown Food Movement BY JEN BOUCHARD

Let’s try a little visualization exercise: The ground is frozen. The plants and flowers have shriveled into the ground until spring. The wind is whistling outside your window. Perhaps a light snow is falling. You’re hungry, in the mood for something fresh and tasty. Your eyes land on the kitchen counter. You see a bunch of green bananas, not nearly ready to be eaten, and an avocado, which should have been eaten two days ago. On the windowsill rests an imported beefsteak tomato. It looks sad. Picked too early and tired after its long flight from warmer climes, 26 FEBRUARY2015 27

this is a tomato that knows it could be so much more. It will not surprise your mouth with a burst of sweet and savory juice. It will not mingle in a salad with basil and vinegar dazzling your taste buds with its freshness. No. This tomato may sit atop your burger, providing a splash of color, a hint of juice, but you both know it’s useless. What can you do? It’s winter. You can do a lot, actually, and you can do it locally. Summer isn’t the only time of year to buy local foods. Consider the cornucopia of fresh, flavorful produce that is available now — squashes and carrots, onions and

sweet potatoes, Brussels sprouts, vibrant bunches of cold, hardy greens. And don’t forget the milk, yogurt, honey, bread, maple syrup, seafood and grass-fed beef — even wine. It’s enough to make you abandon those imported tomatoes forever. The local food movement has gained momentum over the past few years and with good reason. Local food is fresher and tastier. Produce picked in season is not forced to ripen on a shelf. Food doesn’t have to travel long and far to get to the consumer, so it lasts longer and tastes better. In addition,

investing in local food and farms preserves open spaces, benefits the environment and puts money back into your own community. And, because the farmer has direct contact with the customer, there is a real emphasis on quality. According to the Environmental Protection Agency, there are about 2.2 million farms in the United States. Approximately 87% of those are small farms, owned by families or individuals. More and more of these farmers are now selling their products directly to the public. From 1992-2007, revenue from direct to consumer food sales tripled,

rising from $404 million to $1.2 billion per year. The community supported agriculture (CSA) model, which began in the 1980s, now has more than 6,000 operating CSAs nationwide. Growing distrust in large-scale farming and production operations has contributed to the rise of the local food movement. More and more people want to know where their food comes from. The USDA’s slogan — “Know your farmer, know your food” — boils the campaign down to a basic sentiment. It feels good to eat something when you can see the direct line from farm to table. You can’t say the same about a chicken nugget. According to a National Restaurant Association survey, the top menu trends of 2014 were locally sourced and environmentally-sustainable foods. The people have spoken and the people want local food. Chris Eddy of East Longmeadow says his family supports local farmers whenever possible: “I don't really shop by price. I own a small business so I try to support all local businesses because it goes back into the local economy. Not just a CEO’s pocket.” “Besides helping the local economy, there is something special about knowing you are eating fresh food grown in local soil, as well as getting to meet the growers,” adds Holly Pierce of Bridgewater. Thanks to the Internet, finding the best local places to shop has never been easier. One such example is Local Harvest (localharvest.org), an organization that provides an online directory connecting consumers directly to farmers. They define the local food movement as “enjoying real food, grown yourself or purchased from people you trust. It's about developing strong local economies and producing food on a human scale. It's about eating seasonally, practicing the art of cooking, and sitting down to enjoy meals together.” You might be surprised by how many options you have right in your backyard. While organizations like Local Harvest provide a national directory of farms, CSA programs, co-ops and markets, there are other groups that focus specifically on regional agriculture. There are nine “Buy Local” organizations in Massachusetts alone. The newest is Central Mass Grown (centralmassgrown.org), which recently earned a $60,000 grant from the Massachusetts Department of Agricultural Resources to help develop its website. “Our first project is to create and publish a directory of local farms, markets, retailers, CSAs, restaurants, & others who produce, support, or purchase local agricultural products,” says Maleah

Gustafson, one of the founders. She first became interested in the local food movement when she became a mother and started a Facebook page to connect with others in her community. The idea for Central Mass Grown sprouted from there. “I do this strictly as a volunteer, as it is something about which I am passionate,” she says. “I know I am not alone.” In the Pioneer Valley, Community Involved in Sustaining Agriculture (CISA) shares this passion. Founded in 1994, CISA has more than 350 members, including farmers,

restaurants, retailers and garden centers. In 1999, they launched the “Be a Local Hero, Buy Locally Grown” campaign, which is the longest-running marketing and education program of its kind in the United States. CISA truly is involved in building the local food economy. They have a comprehensive directory on their website (buylocalfood.org), as well as a monthly e-newsletter and a free annual farm products guide that is available digitally and in print. They even have an app for your phone. In addition to connecting people

to local farms, CISA strives to make local farm products available to all. CISA established a Senior FarmShare program to provide low-income seniors with fresh, local produce. They also provide workshops to local farmers and businesses to make sure they are operating in a way that allows them to be sustainable and successful. The power of the local food movement is that it isn’t just about food. It’s about sharing talents, protecting resources and bringing communities together. Now there’s something to visualize.

Taste of Local Feb 7th & 8th 10 am - 6 pm

We will be sampling everything that we sell from Massachusetts

Items such as: freshly baked pies, fresh bread, sausage, chicken, steak tips, nuts, oils, vinegars, salad dressing, maple syrup, honey, cheese, soda, crackers and bread from Nashoba Brook Bakery...and much more!

"You want fresh you want local" “YOU WANT FRESH YOU WANT LOCAL”

Open Year Round 294 Chase Rd Lunenburg 978-582-6246 www.lanniorchards.com Winter Hours: 9 am to 6pm Mon.- Fri. • Sat and Sun 9 am to 5 pm BAYSTATEPARENT 26 27

Revisiting The

Dishin’

Most-Maligned

with the Dietitian

VEGETABLES BY ANDREA LUTTRELL, RDN, LDN

rowing up, my mother prepared dinner practically every night and always had a vegetable on the table. But one vegetable she never served was spinach. Once I became older and wise enough to want to eat spinach, I began wondering why we never had it at home. Her answer: She grew up eating canned spinach and never thought of preparing it a different way. Unfortunately, this is a very common story when it comes to vegetables. You’re introduced to a vegetable that’s been served or cooked in a less-thanideal way and then go through life thinking you don’t like it. Until you taste it when it has been prepared well, that is. That was me with green beans. Canned green beans were never my favorite. In fact, they’d often make their way onto my sister’s plate so I wouldn’t have to eat them. But serve fresh or frozen green beans and I’m in love! This is important to keep in mind when serving vegetables to children. Just because they don’t like something prepared one way (i.e., steamed) doesn’t mean they won’t love them in a different preparation (i.e., roasted). If you’ve been avoiding certain vegetables because family members have turned up their noses at them in the past, here are three vegetables you should reconsider in your meal plan for their delicious taste (really!) and impressive nutritional profiles. Brussels sprouts: These beauties might be one of the hardest veggies for people to love. They even rank #4 on a 2013 “The Top 10 Vegetables I Won’t Eat” survey. To reclaim your love for this cruciferous vegetable, say goodbye to overcooked, boiled sprouts. Roasting or pan-frying them is a must. To roast Brussels sprouts, cut off their ends and slice each sprout in half. Toss with olive oil, salt and pepper then bake on a sheet pan at 400 degrees for 35 to 40 minutes. Once crisp on the outside and tender on the inside, sprinkle lightly with kosher salt and serve. My favorite way to enjoy this veggie is to pan-fry them. Thinly slice, or shave, each sprout then sauté in olive oil with minced garlic, red pepper

28 FEBRUARY2015 29

flakes, salt and pepper. Over mediumhigh heat, cook and stir until the Brussels sprouts begin to soften and brown in color, being careful not to burn. If you’re not sure how to shave sprouts, check out the ”How Do I…?” video on the Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics website eatright.org. By enjoying four Brussels sprouts, you gain 3 grams fiber, 120% the Daily Value for Vitamin C, a good source of folate and potent cancer-fighting compounds for a mere 40 calories.

Spinach: While canned spinach might be perfectly delicious in soups, stews and dips, it probably isn’t the ideal way to introduce your family to this leafy green. Start by selecting fresh baby spinach because it’s sweeter and more tender than its fully grown counterpart. Like Brussels sprouts, spinach is delicious sautéed in a simple combination of olive oil, garlic, salt and pepper until wilted. Once

cooked, you can also squeeze a bit of fresh lemon juice to brighten up its flavor. If feeding a larger family, keep in mind one pound of fresh spinach cooks down to about one cup sautéed spinach. To serve as a fresh salad, pair with ingredients like dried cranberries and almonds or sliced pears, walnuts and feta cheese. Spinach salad also works well with bolder dressings and can often be seen with honey mustard, warm bacon or garlic-style dressings.

With 40 calories in a cup and a half, each serving of fresh spinach is high in folate, a good source of magnesium, and also packs 5 grams fiber, 70% the Daily Value for Vitamin A, 25% the Daily Value for Vitamin C and 20% the Daily Value for iron. Spinach is also rich in disease-fighting phytochemicals, including beta-carotene for immunity and lutein for eye health. Cauliflower: If you grew up eating

bland, over-boiled cauliflower, it’s no wonder you may be avoiding it. Cauliflower is a versatile vegetable that can take on both mild and stronger flavors. Plus, if you don’t have time to chop and prepare fresh cauliflower, frozen florets work just as well in any of these preparations. Simply run frozen cauliflower under cool water to thaw before cooking. Roasting cauliflower helps to bring out this vegetable’s natural sweetness and buttery flavor – a completely different experience from boiled cauliflower. Roast just like Brussels sprouts but reduce cooking time to about 25-30 minutes. After baking, sprinkle with Parmesan cheese or serve as is. One technique I learned about five years ago was sautéing cauliflower florets in a pan with breadcrumbs. This results in a crispy and flavorful side dish – and usually my favorite part of the meal. Start by running frozen florets under cool water to defrost, then place in a skillet and drizzle with olive oil. Over mediumhigh heat, stir to coat florets with olive oil then sprinkle with garlic powder, pepper, Italian-style bread crumbs and Parmesan. Continue to stir and cook until breadcrumb crust begins to brown and cauliflower becomes tender. For one-sixth of a medium head of cauliflower (approximately 1 ¼ cups chopped), you benefit from 2 grams fiber, an excellent source of Vitamin C, and a good source of folate and phytochemicals such as indoles and isothiocyanates, which have anti-cancer properties — all for 25 calories. Andrea Luttrell is a registered dietitian nutritionist for the Living Well Eating Smart program at Big Y Foods. She can be reached at livingwell@bigy.com or write Living Well, 2145 Roosevelt Ave, PO Box 7840, Springfield, MA 01102.

Would you like to be featured in a future issue of baystateparent? Send your question to editor@baystateparent.com and you might soon be Dishin’ with the Dietitian!

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Bites Show Off Your Sweet Side

This Valentine’s Day Treat family, friends and co-workers to something they will all love this Valentine’s Day by making easy and impressive cookies. Start with your favorite roll-out cookie recipe or simply dress up store-bought ones by adding some simple details with icing. Want to make a special something for your sweeties? • Desserts with dimension. Triple your treats by stacking three decorated cookies in different sizes together and attach them with icing. • Complement with color. A simple piping technique looks stunning when piped in different colors on your cookies. • Get to gifting. Wrap your finished treats in a Valentine’s Day treat bag or box. Here are two fun foodie ways to show your love this month:

Scalloped Heart Cookies Each cookie serves 1.

Favorite roll-out cookie recipe Ready-to-use white creamy decorator icing Icing Colors: Burgundy, Red-Red and Christmas Red

Prepare and roll out dough following recipe directions. Use largest cutter from the 4-piece heart nesting cookie cutter set to cut out shape. Bake and cool cookies. Divide icing into four equal portions. Tint one of each portion light burgundy, dark burgundy, and combination of red-red/ Christmas red. Reserve last portion white. Starting from top edge of heart, use tip 102 and icing in dark burgundy, light burgundy, red and white to pipe V-shaped groups of two petals, one piped from left and one from right, to create row of petals in alternating colors. Repeat with second row between petals in first row. Continue to repeat pattern until cookies are covered.

Stackable Ombre Heart Cookies Each stacked cookie serves 1. Favorite roll-out cookie recipe Royal icing Rose Icing Color Heart Micro Mini Icing Decorations Prepare and roll out cookie dough following recipe directions. Use 3 smallest cutters from 4-piece heart nesting cookie cutter set to cut out shapes. Bake and cool cookies. Divide royal icing into three equal portions, and tint 3 shades of rose. Thin a portion of each shade following recipe directions. Use tip 3 and full-strength tinted icing to outline cookies. Use thinned tinted icing in cut decorating bag to fill in cookies; gently tap to smooth icing. Let dry overnight. Use icing to attach cookies, stacking largest to smallest; place icing decoration on top.

BAYSTATEPARENT 28 29

MOM MATTERS

THE ORANGE RHINO CHALLENGE:

Could You Go Without Yelling at Your Kids for 30 Days?

Newton native Shelia McCraith has been there, yelled that, and written the book. On Jan. 20, 2012, a handyman working on McCraith’s house walked in unannounced and caught the sleep-deprived mother screaming (her word) at her four boys, then between the ages of 6 months and 5 years old. She never dreamed she’d turn into a yelling parent, but there she was. “I was super sleep deprived, I was stressed. [Four boys] was a whole new ballgame and everything just started coming to a head,” she says. “It got tough, not that it wasn’t tough before, but it was a whole new ballgame.” What she first viewed as a “personal disaster” quickly became an opportunity. Unhappy with the amount of yelling in her home and the effect it was having on her children — and herself — that initial mortification led to a vow, a blog (The Orange Rhino Challenge) and now a book, Yell Less, Love More: How The Orange Rhino Mom Stopped Yelling at Her Kids — and How You Can Too! She pledged to go 365 days straight without yelling at her children. No yelling. At all. For a year. Her friends’ and family’s reaction to the decision was, she says, “mixed.” “A lot of it was, ‘You are crazy because there’s no way you’re going to do it and because that’s just a ridiculous promise to make,’” she says. “And then the second thing that immediately followed was, ‘Good for you I’m going to support you.’” McCraith went public with her quest — first to her personal support network and eventually to the world with her blog — striking upon a unique symbol of her journey, the Orange Rhino. While Gray Rhinos 30 FEBRUARY2015 31

are naturally peaceful animals that display aggressive behavior when provoked, McCraith’s Orange Rhino was her visual representation of a person who would remain loving, calm and warm (hence the color orange) when provoked or triggered. Avowed to change, McCraith set off on the 365-day journey and lasted…8 days. “I was trying so hard to be good, I put so much pressure on myself I crumbled,” she recalls. “I would yell [and then think] You’re awful, you can’t do this. And I’d get down on myself, which I think a lot of us do

I started being nicer to myself. I started thinking about the moments I did succeed, and thought, You can do this. as parents or just as women.” It took McCraith eight more tries before she made it 365 days, her personal record extending to 520 days. While there were many keys to reaching her goal — all outlined in the book — McCraith says an essential element to keeping her streak alive was lightening up on herself. “One morning I woke up and was, like, Hey, it’s OK, just chill out, and I made it through that day. I started being nicer to myself,” she says. “I

started thinking about the moments I did succeed, and thought, You can do this. [There was] a whole mental shift and it made it easier. My initial goal was to go 365 days straight. Having the absolute goal and working to celebrate that forced me to change because I couldn’t let myself off the hook. But the minute I celebrated those small moments as I kept the big goal in mind, I was able to get the confidence to make it toward that goal.” Based on responses to her blog posts and her online community, McCraith, who now lives in New Jersey, says the major response from fellow parents is: “Thank God I’m not alone.” “You don’t go to a playdate and talk about how much you lost it,” she says. “It was a relief for people to know they aren’t alone, they’re not the only one feeling like they’re screwing up. [Yelling] is very taboo. There’s things in parenting you just don’t talk about and I think this is one of those big, hidden secrets that everyone struggles with but no one dares to talk about. At least for me, actually talking about it made it easier to not yell because I wasn’t carrying that burden anymore.” A pledge to not yell at her children didn’t mean McCraith’s home turned into Lord of the Flies. She was the mother, still in charge, but found ways to parent her boys without raising her voice, emotionally exhausting herself or, worst of all, scaring her children. “My expectations of my kids were way too high,” she notes, looking back at her yelling days. “I was so overly controlling. I tried to control everything. You can’t control your kids’ actions. That was a huge eyeopener for me: the fact that I realized how grumpy I was, how stressed out I was. I kind of forgot my kids are people. ‘I’m the parent, you’re the

kid and you are small so you must not have feelings.’ Not that I really think that, but sometimes with my actions, I treated them as someone smaller than me.” She says the Orange Rhino lifestyle has forced her to become more empathetic toward her children. “Of course they’re revolting, you’re saying, ‘It’s my way or the highway. We’re gonna do exactly what I want today.’ But what about them? It’s their day, too,” she notes. “It’s a hot topic in the parenting world: ‘You’re still the parent.’ ‘Because I said so is how it should be.’ ‘The parent should have all the power.’ Yes, they should respect their elders, they should respect authority, but part of respect is earning it. You can’t just tell someone to respect you. If I’m treating them like their opinions and feelings don’t matter, they’re not going to respect me. It’s the frustration of life, it manifests itself with the easiest target, which is our kids — they’re not going to yell back.” While McCraith has her opinions on yelling and its place in parenting, she doesn’t claim to be an expert, noting she only speaks to her own experience. “There are no stats in the book,” she notes. “I’m not going to tell you yelling is wrong, not only do I not have that authority to say it, but it’s not really what the book is about. It’s about me, my own feelings, and what I feel like when I yell.” Instead, the book is filled with 30 days of small steps a parent can take to yell less and love more. “Every moment you have with your kids is an opportunity,” she says. “It would be great if I never yelled because that would be wonderful. But if my kids looked back and they remembered there were 900 loving moments and 10 yelling, then I’ve won. That’s what matters.”

MOM MATTERS

What I Learned From a Month (KINDA SORTA)

Without Yelling BY MELISSA SHAW

The email subject line stood out like a clarion call: FAMILY STORY PITCH: Author Sheila McCraith says "Yell Less, Love More" I get a ton of email daily, but let me tell you, that one got my attention. The pitch was to check out McCraith’s new book, Yell Less, Love More, and join her in a 30-day no-yelling challenge. She’s a mother of four boys under 8, devised and completed a 365-day challenge, is an author with a book deal, and is apparently sane. If she could do it, could I? I hit Reply with one thing on my mind: Sign me up. I have three children: 9, 7 and 5. And, for-seemingly-ever, these statements have bounced off the walls of my house: “I DON’T WANT TO YELL! WHY DON’T YOU LISTEN? IF YOU LISTENED I WOULDN’T HAVE TO YELL!” And it’s true, I don’t want to yell, I doubt many parents do. But for the past few years I’ve sounded more like a Paris Island drill instructor than Carol Brady. If McCraith could get me on the path to less lung strain, I’m in. I would not suffer the

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inevitable aneurysm and the kids wouldn’t grow up to be deviants because their mother yelled too much. So I dove in. The book is split up into 30 small chapters, each with its own focus and tips. I would read the chapter for the day and do my best to incorporate it and, obviously, not yell. And I made it…2 days. The first thing I realized was how unconscious the instinct to yell had become. Here I was, top-of-mind trying not to yell, and after 2 days I just snapped in a micro-second without thought. My 5-year-old was taking a bath and engaging in her new habit of yelling my name merrily over and over, even after I acknowledge her.

“Mom!” “What?” “Mom!” “What?” “Mom! Mom! Mom!”

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“WHAAAAAAT?” I didn’t scream or yell, but it was definitely a hostile, “You’re aggravating me!” snap, which under McCraith’s rules counts as yelling, thus eliminating my red-hot, 2-day “streak” and sending me back to Square 1. This in and of itself was maddening, as I had made it through a Sunday morning, full-family trip to Wegman’s without yelling. I got through that and was DQ’d over a bath? Dang. That kneejerk reaction to raise my voice — be it aggravation or a full-out rager — was quick. Disappointed, I returned to Day 1. However, a funny thing happened: The failure was actually a boon. Once I had a busted streak (although, after 2 days, can we really call it a streak?), the pressure to go 30 days straight seemingly wore off. I read my chapter each day and noticed that my reaction times seemed to lengthen. That nonexistent time before a onceautomatic yell was now just long enough to think about my potential reaction: Do I yell or not? A pivotal consideration McCraith mentions early in the book is the question: Why are you yelling?

Are you really mad at the child or has everything else in that hour/ morning/day/week piled on to push you to this breaking point? Is it really the child’s fault or are you just taking it out on her? That was an eye-opener. For example, when tempted to yell at my 7-year-old to hurry up and make the bus, was it really his fault we were late or was it mine because I went to bed too late the night before and slept through the alarm? Or because I didn’t make their lunches ahead of time like I intended to, but didn’t? Whose fault was it, really? Most of the time, I realized the fault for the moment’s aggravation didn’t lie with the children, so I didn’t yell at them for something they didn’t do. And when they were to blame, I chose not to yell at them, either. Oh, I got my point across — firm and serious — but without yelling. And they got the message, believe me. At one point, I got about three weeks racked up without yelling. Then one day, I yelled because, damn it, emotion, instinct, exhaustion, whatever won out and I wanted to. I knew what I was doing and I did it, anyway. Afterwards, I felt rotten; not because I broke a streak I had long-since stopped counting, but because I blamed my kids and made them feel bad for something that wasn’t their fault. Instead of getting down on myself, I hugged them, apologized for losing my cool and got right back on the Orange Rhino. The name of the book is Yell Less, Love More not Never Yell Again. And for good reason, I’ve discovered. We’re human, we’re going to make mistakes. But I’ll tell you, since reading this book, I really have yelled less and loved (and thought) more.

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How 20 Minutes and $10 Could Save Your Child’s Life BY JOSH FARNSWORTH AMANDA LUISA GOODALE PHOTOGRAPHY & ILLUSTRATION

Kimberly Amato allows herself one day. Every Dec. 18, the Sterling resident replays the tragedy of losing her daughter, Meghan Agnes Beck, when a dresser the 3-year-old was attempting to climb toppled over on her. Dec. 18, 2014 marked the 10-year anniversary of the incident. “I relive that day,” she said. “I only allow myself the one day to feel that pain again.” Instead of suing the furniture maker, Amato said “Meghan’s Hope”, was established “the night she died” to help inform the public about the dangers of unsecured furniture and the grief that follows when losing a child. With grief, however, comes a new hope. Amato said Meghan’s Hope (meghanshope.org) is forming a partnership with a government agency 32 FEBRUARY2015 33

about to launch a campaign. Backed by a $400,000 grant, the campaign’s goal is to bring awareness to unsecured furniture and the fact that today it now only takes 20 minutes and $10 to prevent another tragedy. The “Anchor It and Protect a Child” campaign through the Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC) is scheduled to launch this spring, which Amato said she hopes will gain recognition equal to seat belt safety. According to CPSC research, more than 22,000 children ages 8 and younger are injured each year, with one death every two weeks. Seventy-one are injured each day when a television, piece of furniture or appliance falls on him or her. Amato added that those numbers only reflect reported cases. “It’s not just about homes,” she said. “It is schools, hotels, convention centers and many other places where there are large pieces of unsecured furniture. Play is the work of children. You can tell them not to climb on things; when they want something, they go and get it. We have an awesome responsibility to keep our kids safe.” Amato said she wrote to the CPSC in the months that followed her daughter’s death. Bills were also filed by U.S. Rep. Jim McGovern (D-MA) and Rep. Allyson Schwartz (D-PA), but they never got out of their respective committees. The intent of the bills, as well as Meghan’s Hope’s ongoing push to educate consumers, was to galvanize furniture makers to include warning labels on many pieces and include restraining devices to better secure potentially dangerous items from falling over and onto children. Through Amato’s perseverance, providing warning labels and additional furniture tethering was made a voluntary safety standard. Finding straps and a warning label, however, remains

a challenge whenever Amato visits a retail establishment with such furniture. “It costs them next to nothing [to provide straps and adhere a warning label onto newly produced pieces of furniture],” she said. The explosion of social media in the past few years has helped spread the word about Meghan’s Hope. According to Amato, the group’s Facebook page initially had 500 Likes, but in two weeks, increased to more than 13,000, and is now just shy of 26,000. An emotion-packed blog post, "Be With Me, Just for Today" in which Amato detailed her dealings with grief, also went viral, garnering millions of views within a couple of weeks. “I was happy,” she said of the attention it received. “It was a raw, visceral look at what grief looks like. It compelled people to secure their own furniture. It was not just about people with kids securing the furniture, but also those with grandkids who might have them over their house.” Coping with the loss of her daughter, Amato said she has used her blog, Out of the Darkness (outofthedarknessgriefsupport.com), cathartically to address grief and help other bereaved parents. The blog has helped usher forth a book, Out of the Darkness, which is available at Amazon.com. “It is sort of Grief 101,” she said. A decade after her daughter’s death, Amato said all the recent events surrounding Meghan’s Hope has her optimistic about the next generation of young kids and their safety. And as perhaps the most identifiable figure in the campaign, Meghan could be helping to save lives for years to come. “I think it speaks to her legacy,” Amato said. “To have the support of a government agency and so many people on social media does my heart so much good.”

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Challenging Students to Think: ‘What Would I Have Done?’

Rinze van Brug

History Books Aside:

BY MELISSA SHAW

As a child, Margot Stern Strom attended Snowden Junior High in Memphis, a building directly across the street from the city’s zoo. Every day she went to school and every day she saw the zoo, which bore two signs: “Colored Day Only on Thursday” and “ No Whites on Thursday.” The visual stayed with Strom, who by the mid-’70s was a middle-school history teacher in Brookline studying at the Harvard Graduate School of Education. A conference on teaching the Holocaust, anti-Semitism and genocide left her with a realization — that she had been taught a very sanitized version of history — and a connection that lead right back to her experience growing up in Jim Crow-era Memphis with its separate water fountains, waiting rooms and visiting days at the zoo. Those twin lightning bolts lead to the 1976 creation of Facing History and Ourselves, a now international non-profit educational and professional development organization for teachers. Headquartered in Brookline, its mission is to provide teachers with the resources and tools so their students can examine morally tough topics such as racism, anti-Semitism and prejudice through the first-person lens of historical events. The goal: to develop youth into informed, humane citizens. A movement that started to better equip teachers and students with moral justice teaching resources in 34 FEBRUARY2015 35

Massachusetts has now expanded to middle- and high-school students around the world. “Teachers were never given any support or major inspiration regularly, so Facing History is the opportunity to convene people, not in ‘Let’s find out how to meet the newest standard,’” Strom notes. “The real idea is to be inspired, to hear the students and to see them as the moral philosophers and to see that you’re doing the art of teaching, of learning.” Facing History’s inaugural course, “Holocaust and Human Behavior,” and the accompanying Strom-authored resource book for teachers — not a textbook or curriculum — went beyond traditional history teaching methods, using firstperson accounts of events, student discussions and group exercises. In what became the organization’s central pedagogy, students first examine themselves, then the events, inevitably placing themselves in the time and place they’re studying to better analyze the choices that were made. “The ‘ourselves’ is a really important part of the impact,” notes Sherri Krasin, a seventh-grade humanities teacher at Wilbraham & Monson Academy in Wilbraham. “They face history but they have to face themselves.” She notes this example she poses to her class: “Eight million kids joined Hitler Youth. Looking at the stats of the school, this means this many

of you would have joined. What would you have done? Where are you in this history? How does it affect you?” “Whatever you’re teaching – and Facing History does this really well - kids are able to understand they’re connected to it, whether you’re teaching about Ferguson to a bunch of white kids in the suburbs or the Holocaust or Civil Rights, it connects them because they make choices every day of their life,” Krasin adds. “It’s just ordinary people making choices. They can see it.” As the organization’s motto states: “People make choices. Choices make history.” Over the years, Facing History expanded to 10 offices worldwide and nearly 200 employees. While constantly revising its seminal Holocaust and Human Behavior book, the group has expanded to offer online and face-to-face workshops, courses and seminars for educators, as well as an array of print, video and web resources on the Civil Rights movement, the Armenian genocide, The Nanjing Atrocities, To Kill a Mockingbird, bullying and much more. In addition to professional development, Facing History’s blog (facingtoday.facinghistory. org) offers free, up-to-date resources, tools and analysis to help educators teach and facilitate discussions on current-day events, such as the Charlie Hebdo murders in Paris, the Ferguson Riots in Missouri or the Eric Gardner case in New

Tom Kates

“If we understand history as the study of choices then that can really empower kids when they look at their own lives, ‘Oh, I am making decisions every day. When have I been a bystander?’ That’s what engages kids, that’s what sticks with kids.” York. “It’s an important tool for teachers to be able to access information and know it’s going to be accurate information,” Krasin says. “Facing History gives students the tools to understand these big issues so they can make sense out of current events and hopefully be the change.” Adds Strom: “What Facing History is trying to do is show these global connections so there are issues that are particular to your own experience

and moment in time, but they’re universal themes that don’t change: human behavior, race, religious liberty and freedom, and difference, and how people treat one another. It is a current event. Facing History finds the universal thread in these stories.” Moral dilemmas and uncomfortable, challenging issues of moral justice, such as genocide, racism, anti-Semitism and more, have traditionally not been entrusted to middle- or high-school children, she notes, or when they are they’re addressed at 30,000-foot, broad views. “We know what kids need. They need to be trusted. They need to let their questions come. They need real material that isn’t watered down,” Strom says. “They need to be held to very high standards of reading and writing and thinking and perspective-taking.” “This is very tough stuff, it’s raw and there’s no way out of it,” Krasin adds. “Facing History is great for bringing real, accurate, important sources to the classroom; it has a way of making history very personal. Using the standard book, if I tell kids 11 million people were killed [in the Holocaust] it doesn’t mean anything.” Adds eighth-grade Wayland Middle School teacher Jacob Montweiler: “It insists on the asking of difficult questions and kids are really taught to resist easy answers.” “I remember as a kid someone came to Snowden Junior High School and they opened the big, red curtains and out walked a man with a Stradivarius violin. That was the most important thing that happened to me in grammar school,” Strom laughs, the memory of that visit not fading a degree even decades later. Facing History delivers its “Stradivariuses” — its primary, impactful sources — via first-person accounts from those involved in the historical event at hand. It could be a video, case study, narrative, art or poetry, or in the case of some Facing History students and teachers, an inperson visit from Holocaust survivors. “When kids hear people from Rwanda, Holocaust survivors, what they hear are truthtellers about trauma and these kids want to touch these speakers,” Strom says. One such speaker is Rena Ferber Finder, a Polish Jew who speaks regularly with Facing History students and teachers, worked in Oskar Schindler’s factory and was a name on the nowfamous Schindler’s List. Notes Strom: “There isn’t a time when she speaks to children or adults when they aren’t totally changed forever.” In fact, the organization has another link to Schindler’s List, director Steven Spielberg once noting: “Facing History came to my rescue in 1994 when I wanted to show Schindler’s List free of charge to middle schools and high schools.” The organization’s contribution, which eased the way for the film to get into schools, was a study guide it wrote to accompany the movie. While “history” is part of the organization’s name and mission, that doesn’t meant its use is relegated to only history or social studies classes, supporters say. The courses and resources are interdisciplinary and attract educators who teach art, English, library science and more. Eliza Beardslee teaches tenth-grade Spanish at Four Rivers Charter School in Greenfield. Instead of using solely a traditional textbook and “repeat after me” instruction, over six weeks she employs Facing History’s “Stitching Truth: Women’s Protest Art in Pinochet’s Chile”

series. “Stitching Truth” tells the story of poor and oppressed women — through their words and work — who stitched brightly-colored patchwork pictures onto burlap, known as arpilleras. The artwork told their stories of oppression and fear and of their husbands, sons and brothers who disappeared under Pinochet’s dictatorship. “It’s a way of using text and authentic materials to teach about these arpilleras, tapestries that tell stories,” Beardslee says. “They read and watch short videos, read poetry, listen to songs and look at pictures to get background knowledge.” From those primary materials, her students design and sew their own tapestries to tell a story, write an artist’s statement about it and then translate one of their peer’s statements. Beardslee says translating original works pushes her students’ Spanish vocabulary comprehension, and using art as a way of communicating resilience and resistance makes them think. “They’re definitely more empathetic,” she says. “Actually creating the product helps them to imagine what it might have been like to be a single woman whose male family members have been taken away.” Wayland’s Montweiler says that when he attended his first Facing History workshop 15 years ago “it felt like I had come home.” “I felt like these are the people who think about teaching and learning in the same way that I do,” he says. “People who recognize that ethical reflection should be one of the centerpieces of social studies curriculum.” The group’s work exceeds traditional textbooks and teaching methods by embracing choice as a central theme, he says. “I think at its best Facing History inspires because so much of the work is focused on choice, so kids are analyzing the choices of people in the past,” he says. “And Facing History insists when we look at the past we’re looking at ordinary people who make decisions and fundamentally they’re like us. If we understand history as the study of choices then that can really empower kids when they look at their own lives, ‘Oh, I am making decisions every day. When have I been a bystander?’ That’s what engages kids, that’s what sticks with kids.” Adds Wilbraham & Monson Academy’s Krasin: “They’re making choices, the language they use and implication of that language. For example, using ‘gay’ as a derogatory: let’s look at that and connect it to this history. They’re making choices in their daily life, of who they let sit with them at lunch, who they leave out. Or if they hear something that’s not right, do they speak up? Do they speak up if it’s a parent that says something that’s not right? The ‘ourselves’ part of Facing History is the impact. If you do it right, kids leave feeling like this matters.” While Strom has been the founder and face of the organization for nearly 40 years, she is quick to credit the artists, educators, scientists, writers, scholars and others who have expanded the group’s mission, depth, scope and geographical reach. She stepped down from her post as executive director last December, moving to the position of President Emerita and Senior Scholar, where she continues her work. “Education, telling these stories now, will make a difference,” she says. “We will have the kids who will become the policy makers. I really believe that.” BAYSTATEPARENT 34 35

36 FEBRUARY2015 37

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Parents Find Free Fitness, Motivation and Fun with November Project Katy Davis, a pediatrician and mom to 3-year-old Tommy, fully admits that she resented November Project, a grassroots fitness movement in Boston and 15 cities throughout the U.S. and Canada, before she tried it. Davis had struggled to get back into exercising, let alone her passion for marathons and triathlons, after returning to work from maternity leave. When her husband Nathan Fisher announced during a coveted family vacation that he wanted to head out to a workout with November Project’s San Francisco “tribe” (NP’s unique term to describe participants), Davis said “no.” Fisher pleaded, “But I dropped a verbal.” Davis responded, “I don’t even know what that means.” A few months later back home in Newton, Davis joined Fisher for a November Project workout and not only learned firsthand what a “verbal” was — a commitment given out loud or over social media that you will attend a workout — but also quickly became as “obsessed” as her husband. November Project Boston tribe members meet early morning three times a week around the city: Mondays are surprise destinations that you must run to and from and are announced via Twitter; Wednesdays are held at Harvard Stadium in Allston; and Fridays feature hill repeats with “spice” (other exercise combinations) at Summit Avenue in Brookline (all are close to public transportation). Harvard Stadium, which is one of the more popular workouts, involves running or walking up and down the broad concrete steps. Complete 19 sections and you have achieved a half tour; 37 sections give

Photo by Rosa Evora / November Project

BY SANDRA GITTLEN

you a full tour; and 50 sections gives you the distinction of FrogMan1. Once a month is race day and if you get a personal best, also known as a personal record or PR, you get to take your picture with Phoebe, the PR pig (yes, she’s a real pig). November Project is the brainchild of Brogan Graham and Bojan Mandaric, former college athletes who found themselves in an exercise slump when they dug into their careers. In the fall of 2011, they made

a pact with one another to work out regularly and created a spreadsheet called “November Project.” In spring 2012, they invited their friends to join in the free workouts that involve creative elements such as “fire drills” where a siren sounds while you’re running the stairs and you drop and do multiple pushups; partnering up with strangers to play leapfrog at a playground; and box jumps off the side of a city fountain. Tribe members pride themselves

on being #weatherproof and never cancel workouts. And participants can bring T-shirts, jackets, and other items to be spray painted with the November Project logo on certain days each month. By the fall of 2014, with a big hand from social media littered with smiling photos from workouts, Graham and Mandaric achieved an ambitious goal — having 3,014 people working out at 6:30 a.m. on Wednesday, November 5, across all 16 tribes. “We actually went well beyond the goal with over 4,000 that morning,” Graham says. Graham and Mandaric have made it a mission to use city landscapes as a canvas to get adults to unleash their inner child and connect with wouldbe strangers, creating a healthy, active and positive community. In fact, if you don’t collect a few sweaty hugs by the time your workout is complete, you didn’t do it right, according to Graham. The November Project vibe has been attractive to parents, who can sometimes feel isolated and out of shape. “NP is appealing to parents because they need to move,” Graham says. “NP is rewarding for anyone of any speed, and parents — like any other walk of life — can come to NP to get support for whatever speed they have on Day 1. You don’t need to get in shape before joining. Get in shape with us.” He adds that watching parents who push their kids up the hills in strollers or run up the stadium stairs with a kid in a backpack prove that kids aren’t holding parents back – “it’s lack of motivation,” he says. And November Project has motivation to spare. Davis couldn’t agree more that

“NP is rewarding for anyone of any speed, and parents — like any other walk of life — can come to NP to get support for whatever speed they have on Day 1. You don’t need to get in shape before joining. Get in shape with us.” 38 FEBRUARY2015 39

Photo by Bojan Mandaric / November Project

for her, as a mom, it was all about motivation. A long-time athlete who ran Boston Marathon qualifying times at marathons and competed in triathlons, Davis says November Project pulled her from her back-towork exercise rut. “When I wasn’t working out, my mood and identity went downhill, and I had difficulty sleeping,” Davis says. “I admired Nathan for making it a priority to get exercise in most days and doing it in a way that didn’t take away from his ability to help at home.” She realized November Project was fueling Nathan’s energy and positive attitude and decided to give it a try, starting with Harvard Stadium. “The first day, I only made it up eight sections on my own,” she says. Then she took her turn with 37-pound Tommy in a backpack and only made it up one more section. “People cheered and gave me high fives,” she says. “They were so encouraging that I didn’t get bummed out about what I couldn’t do.” Two weeks later, Davis went solo and finished a full tour. They now regularly attend Wednesday and Friday workouts as a family. Fisher is excited to have his wife as a workout partner and to share the November Project world with her, including the social outings such as breakfast at a local eatery and a

night at the Celtics. “We’re lucky that Tommy is so easygoing and loves to get up early and see his friends at November Project,” he says. In fact, a friend called Tommy “the mayor” of November Project because he knows everyone’s name, says hi to them, and hands out high fives from his backpack perch or stroller. “We hope that by continuing November Project, Tommy will grow up understanding the importance and joy of community and outdoor exercise,” Fisher says. Graham has fun with the handful of kids that accompany their parents to November Project. “Kids are always funny. When they show up with their parents, it’s hard not to smile,” he says. He notes, though, that November Project does not host workouts for kids or make separate groups for parents and kids. Charlie, the 5-year-old son of November Project regular Erica Holt, won the tribe’s prestigious positivity award one time for his dedication. Holt, a Brighton resident and full-time biology student at the University of Massachusetts-Boston, attended her first November Project workout in January 2013 after hearing about the movement from friends. “I’m very social, but being a stay-

at-home mom caused me to lose my social skills,” says Holt, who also has an 8-year-old daughter, Piper. “I didn’t know how to interact with anyone, so for the first two months I didn’t talk to anyone.” She did, however, follow the tribe’s mantra of #justshowup. Holt started running after she had her son but lost motivation after running a 50-mile race. “I needed something else to keep me moving,” she says, adding that November Project has helped her regain her “mojo.” “It’s so easy for parents to use their kids as an excuse to not work out, but if you’re in the right environment, you make it happen,” she says. She also aims to teach her kids about healthy body image. “My kids are getting a good understanding of what it is to be healthy and active and moving,” she says. She feels they get a better mom because she is in a better mood. “If you wake up uncomfortable in your skin and starting out with a negative image, that is going to impact everything else,” she says. “But when you start the day off with positivity — you’ve just hugged 35 people before the sun is up — it’s impossible to go through your day being grumpy. I’m so much more accepting and relaxed throughout the day.”

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It helps tremendously that the environment is inclusive of kids. In fact, for Charlie’s birthday in May, she asked over social media for superheroes to be on the hill. “People dressed up as superheroes. Charlie thought it was the coolest thing,” she says. Eric Klawiter, a neurologist at Mass General Hospital, and his wife Erika Anderson, a lawyer at the Attorney General’s office, concur that November Project offers them the opportunity to be better parents and better partners. Klawiter and Anderson, who live in Coolidge Corner, ran together while

they were dating and well into the first years of parenting their now 5-year-old daughter and 3-yearold twins. But when their oldest daughter outgrew the stroller, they sidelined their outings. Klawiter attended November Project after reading a feature in Runner’s World in December 2013. His first workout was at a playground in Boston’s Mission Hill area where he found himself surprisingly out of shape and committed to going to all three workouts each week. Anderson noticed changes in Klawiter’s fitness and even joined a few workouts. But she didn’t

participate regularly until last spring. Unlike Tommy and Charlie, their kids are late sleepers so bringing them along is often impossible. Instead, Klawiter runs the Summit Avenue hills early to get home in time for Anderson to attend the 6:30 a.m. workout. They do likewise with the Wednesday sessions. “The relationship I have with my wife is much better having November Project be a common experience we share and it also elevates both of our moods,” he says, adding “we’re able to handle the adversity that is always present

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with parenting in a more productive way.” Like Davis, Anderson started out somewhat resentful of Klawiter’s November Project experience. “I’m not a morning person. I’m not a huggy person. And I’m not a social person that early. It seemed liked things I hated all at one time and I was initially put off by it,” she says. But her competitive side won out when she saw her husband’s race times improving. She started attending at a time when November Project was holding a contest at the Summit Avenue workout where winners earned entry to a nearby pool party. I wanted to get into that pool and I did,” Anderson says. “The gimmicks work.” Also driving her: her three daughters. “I want them to know that their bodies are strong for them to use and the best way I can do that is to set an example,” she says. Klawiter and Anderson say their November Project enjoyment is the product of communication. Each night before a workout, they discuss their strategy for getting out the door. “We need this community so we make it work,” she says. Soon-to-be parents Amanda Kelly and Alex Silberman are taking notes from the parents around them. They’ve been attending November Project since summer 2013 and are hesitant to give it up. Kelly, former Miss Massachusetts 2009 and a marketing analyst at TJX in Framingham, and Silberman, an advertising agency director, are deeply entrenched in the November Project culture. Kelly has been documenting her pregnancy progress by taking weekly pictures next to the Harvard Stadium section signs. The couple realizes it will take planning and compromise for them both to get workouts in and they joke that they had a taste of it when they brought their puppy, Oso, to a workout. “I ran 20 minutes and then we traded off,” Kelly says. “We love doing this together and we want our kid to experience this with us so we will make it a priority,” Silberman says. “November Project is filled with so many awesome, athletic, kick-ass moms and dads showing us that we’ll be fine and will be able to grow as athletes and as parents and as people,” Kelly says. Graham says parents should not worry about where their fitness level is right now. “Just show up. You’ll find someone your speed. You’ll have more fun than you can imagine,” he says “Your child will think you’re a badass (maybe not right way, but one day down the road).”

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Young Love: Sweet or Scary? LOVE & ROMANCE

BY AMANDA COLLINS

remember it like it was yesterday. He found me in the hallway right before the first period bell rang and didn’t try to sugar coat it at all. “I don’t want to go with out you anymore,” said my high school boyfriend, the keeper of my 14-year-old heart. “I like someone else, so that's it.” And with that, my world came crashing down. I stood there frozen, stunned and wounded. It was my first broken heart. Kyle and I had been “going out” for almost four months — we’d hold hands in the hallways, sneak a smooch in the bus line, and arrange for our parents to drive us to and from the movies. At night, we’d spend hours on the phone and in the mornings, we’d meet first thing at our lockers to talk some more. In just a few months he’d gone from the guy in my geometry class to “the one.” After hours of listening to my sobbing in her office, the nurse realized there was no solace for a teenage girl who just got dumped and sent me home early. It was a Friday, which allowed me to spend the next two days on the couch under a blanket of used tissues with the phone glued to my ear, bawling and blubbering to whichever girlfriend would listen. Although it was over a decade ago and my heart has suffered much more serious aches since, just like anyone else, I can still remember the unimaginable pain of that first breakup. And those memories are pretty frightening to a mom when their kids start dating. “When my daughter starts having real emotions about a boy, I'm going to think that's really scary, not sweet,” said Jen Duval Perreault, a mom of three from Palmer. “I'm really worried about the broken heart.” Perreault's daughter, Lizzie, is only 10, but she knows dating is just around the corner. Perreault has already been through it with her sons, Tyler, 18 and Ryan, 14, and Lizzie recently revealed she's thinking about making a kid in her class her “boyfriend.” “I think to them that's just a title. It means they like each other and they text each other, so I'm not really worried about that,” Perreault said. “It's when they get the car and the freedom — that's when it gets pretty scary.” The specific age children develop their first romantic relationship varies by culture, gender and person, but for most it will happen at some point during adolescence, according to Headspace, a national youth mental health foundation. Experts say relationships become more common, more serious and last longer as kids grow from tweens, to young adolescents, to their mid-to-late teenage years. And while the idea of kids dating may be unnerving for parents, psychologists say relationships are an important part of a teen's development. “Healthy relationships help youth refine their sense of identity and develop interpersonal skills, and also provide emotional support,” said Sarah Sorenson, with the ACT Youth Center for Excellence at Cornell University. But

42 FEBRUARY2015 43

while healthy romantic relationships have the potential to benefit teens, she also pointed out that unhealthy relationships pose risks that could have a long-lasting impact. According to the National Center for Injury Prevention and Control, youths are particularly at risk for being in relationships that include violence or risky sexual activity. And teens who experience abuse are more likely to be involved in relationships that include violence as adults, the Center noted. Other unhealthy behavior exhibited in young relationships is jealousy and possessiveness, which can lead teens to cast aside their interests. Perreault remembers noticing the issue when her oldest son, Tyler, a senior in high school, stopped seeing his friends. “He and his girlfriend got a bit controlling of each other,” she said. “She didn't want him hanging out with his friends, and I was thinking, ‘Well, you love hanging out with your friends. What's going on?’ I was able to talk to him about it, but you have to do it really carefully. I told him, ‘Remember how you felt when so-and-so had a girlfriend and stopped seeing you?’” Don't forget, just as parents are new to watching their children begin to date, the kids themselves are new to the experience, too. “Young people do not automatically know what constitutes right and wrong behavior in dating relationships. Without a clear understanding of what makes a healthy relationship, youth are likely to tolerate relationships that put them at risk,” ACT’s Sorenson said. “For example, it may be easy for a teen to interpret jealousy or constant text messaging as a sign of love. Youth must be taught the characteristics of healthy relationships, how to differentiate a healthy relationship from an unhealthy one, and how to seek help if they find themselves in unhealthy relationships.” “Things are different than when we were dating, and when a boy called you they had to call the house phone and everyone knew,” Perreault noted. “Kids have more privacy now with their cell phones, social media, texting, Snapchat. As a parent, watching it all is sweet and scary at the same time. You just have to be able to talk to them so they don't get hurt.”

For more resources and advice on how to broach the topic of unhealthy relationships with your teens, visit teenrelationships.org, loveisrespect.org, or call the Teen Dating Abuse Hotline at 1-866-331-9474. Signs your teen may be in an unhealthy relationship: • Their partner shows a lack of respect for them, or for you • Your child is being held back (in school, sports, activities) • Your child or their partner exhibits controlling behavoir • Either partner feels “smothered” • Abuse of any kind

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LOVE & ROMANCE

But They Still Want You

Why Your Teen May Not Want a Hug, Other Ways to Show Affection to Your Teenager BY SARA POKORNY

one are the days of warm snuggles and cute kisses — suddenly your "little one" is all grown up, a teenager who wants nothing to do with you, or so it seems. Finding ways to show affection to your son or daughter at that age is certainly no walk in the park, but it is possible to do so, establishing a connection that will work towards not only a better relationship, but also a better future for them. Laura Joyce, LICSW at Simplified Life Therapy in Boston, knows all too well the struggle parents go through

with teenagers. Not only does she deal with it on a daily basis through her practice, but she also has a 15-year-old foster child with whom she is currently navigating such tricky waters. Forging a line of affection to your teenager starts with simply understanding where they're coming from; after all, teenage years are quite far in the past for most parents and they may forget what it was like. It's a time when puberty is creeping in and besides the physical changes, there's a sense of independence that strikes, a need to assert individuality, though they still know they have to

rely on family for things. This line of thought is highlighted in a book Joyce mentioned as a guide to raising teenagers, Get Out of My Life, but First Could You Drive Me and Cheryl to the Mall? by Anthony Wolf. "There's a lot of push and pull," Joyce said. "Their brains are still developing and they don't stop developing until they're 26, so they still need affection and care, but at the same time they're hitting puberty and wanting to develop their own identity separate from the family unit." For starters, don't worry too much about any negativity that may spew

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LOVE & ROMANCE

from the mouth of your teenager; don't let it hamper your efforts at a connection. "There will be some kind of blowout: ‘I don't like you,’ ‘I hate you,’ and it's tough for parents to hear that," Joyce said, "but they don't actually mean that. That's them saying, ‘I need my space,’ and ‘I'm learning to be who I am on my own.’" Take note of what Joyce refers to as your child's "love language," the type of affection to which they most respond. Pioneered by author, marriage counselor and syndicated radio host Gary Chapman (5lovelanguages.com), such displays of affection may fall under categories like "Words of Affirmation,” "Quality Time" or "Physical Touch." "Knowing your teenager's love language will give you a better sense of how to go about things. They may percieve physical affection as love and care, or maybe just saying nice things as a way to show love." Complimenting a child is a common way to connect with them, acknowledging their efforts and successes. However, parents shouldn't get too carried away. "I hear a lot of parents telling their kids everything they do is good,"

Joyce said. “‘It's good you got up today,’ ‘I'm proud you ate a good breakfast,’ ‘I'm glad you did this, I'm glad you did that.’ At this point, teenagers see through things like that. Parents may be trying to boost their child's confidence, but teenagers need genuine compliments or they'll start disregarding what you're saying." Another key: Strive to build a connection with your child away from the eyes of others. "In front of friends or siblings is not the best time," Joyce said. "Time driving in the car or right before bed — quiet times — are when you can have more meaningful talks." At a time in which teenagers are attempting to be more grown up, it's a good idea to treat them as adults to a certain extent. This can be as simple as taking them out for coffee or to get their nails done. Joyce said it's in these situations that parents are more likely to connect with their child, because the child feels like what they're doing is cool. Technology is a huge part of children’s worlds today and also a great way to connect with your child. This doesn't mean you have to start sending your child messages on

Facebook (an act that may be frowned upon), but rather examine how tech can benefit your relationship in other ways. "One of the things I'll do sometimes is send a $5 Dunkin gift card via his phone, with a message like, ‘Hey, great job at hockey today!’’ Joyce said. "It's a random way to show appreciation, and from afar." Through everything, the rebuffed affection, the I-can't-stand-yous and the looks of annoyance, Joyce said the most important thing is to not ignore or write it off; simply showing up, being there and making an effort will go a long way, even if you may feel like it isn't. "If you're not connecting with your child that's when you're going to run into problems, because they'll start looking for connections elsewhere,” Joyce said. “Oftentimes they look to peers, which can be good, but can also be them going to people with the wrong information or the wrong way of doing things. Connecting with your child avoids negativity; smoking, unsafe sex, drugs, alcohol. The more you connect with your child, the more you know what's going on and are there for him, you're helping them become a successful adult."

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LOVE & ROMANCE

Daughter’s Dates

EXPERT TIPS FOR SCREENING YOUR BY MELISSA SHAW

Terry Vaughan is a former British Royal Marine commando, body language expert, self defense instructor and expert marksman who was a contestant on the precision shooting series Top Shot, which makes him exactly the man his daughters’ potential suitors do not want to greet at the front door. Even worse — for them — is that Vaughan has literally written the book, Not With My Daughter, on how fathers can evaluate potential suitors in just a few minutes via body language and other clues. And while Vaughan says the image of the aggressive rifle-polishing father is the “go-to default emotional setting” for many dads, it’s absolutely the wrong move if he wants to learn about the boy who wants to date his daughter. “As a former British commando, I love aggression,” he laughs, “but you’re not learning anything. If you intimidate him, you’re overly aggressive, you’re sitting there polishing your knives, you shut him down and you’ve lost that chance to figure out who he really is.” Instead, fathers — and mothers, too, Vaughan encourages — can learn a lot in a small period of time by putting the prospective suitor at ease, building rapport and “asking him questions that coach him into answering as relaxed as possible so you have a baseline of reactions. You’ll get more information from people

being nice than you will just being aggressive and scaring the crap out of the poor guy when he gets there,” he notes. Vaughan outlines several areas in which anyone can, with practice, learn to translate even small, subtle body language clues into telling information about a person, ranging from gait and posture to clothing, facial expressions, gestures and more. “How much space somebody takes up is very indicative of attitude,” he says. “If somebody’s feet are wide they’re taking up more room than is necessary for comfort. Someone who takes up a great deal of space, lounges on things or has expansive arm or leg position, that tells you a lot about arrogance. And someone who’s arrogant doesn’t like hearing ‘no.’ If your daughter is smart, ‘no’ is something she’s going to be very well practiced in and understand that’s a complete sentence. She’ll know if she says it, it’s the end of the discussion, not time for a debate. [For] people who don’t like hearing ‘no,’ that’s the start of a negotiation.” Chin position is another telling indicator. “A chin that goes down protects the neck,” he says. “A chin that goes up is

a little bit contemptuous because it exposes the throat. That tells you a little bit about attitude as well. If Junior does a head nod where his head goes up and he exposes his throat, he’s already told you he doesn’t feel threatened by you, which is completely and utterly abnormal if he’s at your house meeting Dad. He should feel very much threatened already.” Now if a suitor shows up feet clamped together, taking up little space and, in fact, seems to be shrinking by the minute, Vaughan says parents shouldn’t take a victory lap but, in fact, try to put him at ease. “You want to bring out the guy who’s in there,” he notes. “It’s great that he’s petrified — for the dad’s ego it’s great — but you’re still not learning anything. Warm him up and figure out who he is.” In fact, Vaughan says the most important work in meeting potential boyfriends is the relationship between Dad and daughter — groundwork that can be laid years before boys start showing up at the door. “If Dad and daughter have a great relationship and she can trust him to be on her side, and she can trust what he may be saying about her potential boyfriend is honest and supportive of her, that will ease the process of screening any guys,” he notes. “If dads are gonna get aggressive about the screening of the boyfriend but haven’t talked

to the daughter about why he’s feeling a little tempermental then it’s going to backfire no matter what. And, in a lot of cases, dads are pushed to the periphery, only there as an aggressive bull in a china shop.” Instead, Vaughan, who has two daughters — 13 and 10 — and a 9-year-old son, encourages moms and dads to be united in establishing an open, honest relationship with their children in which they talk about everything. “We’ve had every conversation you can imagine, age-appropriate of course,” he says of his family. “We have a very open and honest relationship across the board. Even the tough subjects have already been discussed so nothing’s uncomfortable for anybody. If you can do that as a dad, go talk to your kids about everything, then so many other topics are much easier to broach. When it comes to dating, if your daughter is open to Dad as well as Mom, I think you’ve laid the foundation and groundwork where she’ll make the smartest decisions for herself and it’s much less likely that then Dad has to put his shotgun to use and scare off some reprobate.” Vaughan says this groundwork laying should be done well in advance because children date, which will happen whether parents like it or not. “It’s gonna take Dad years to get his head around saying, ‘I’m gonna help you find love. I’m gonna help you use my years of experience to screen your boyfriend, not because I’m trying to stop you from dating, but because I want you to find the right guy,’” he laughs. “When we had the sex talk, it was [my wife] and I, we sat down to have that conversation. We set a precedent that anything they’re going through, the questions they had, could be answered by either parent. If Mom’s not here I can answer and vice versa. If you don’t run away from that as a Dad, if you’re available and you’ll openly discuss any of this, there’s nothing the two of you can’t talk about.” Visit baystateparent.com to win a copy of “Not With My Daughter.”

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Let’s Talk About Sex LOVE & ROMANCE

(To The Kids)

Why parents find it hard and how to find resources to help BY AMANDA ROBERGE

My feelings of failure as a parent run strong and deep in all directions, but in no area do I feel more inadequate than in the realm of “The Talk.” The sex talk. The birds and the bees. Honestly and truly, I am terrible at this. According to Amy Cody, Manager of Parent Education at Planned Parenthood League of Massachusetts (PPLM), I am in extremely good company. And what’s more is that she said — to my almost indescribable relief — that most parents are doing a much better job than they think they are. Through a parent education program called “Let’s Be Honest,” PPLM fields inquiries and provides information to parents who struggle to connect with their children at this, the most basic of levels. The aim: to provide the most essential of information about the most natural of acts. According to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, “parental communication about sex education topics with their teenagers is associated with 48 FEBRUARY2015 49

delayed sexual initiation.” For many of us with younger teens, and maybe those of us with older teens, too (have we not all told our kids they can’t have sex until they are 40?), this is clearly the goal. Still, we struggle. But why? Clearly we have all had sex at least as many times as the number of children we have. Some of us engage in this most pleasurable of pastimes with admirable frequency (or alarming infrequency) and devout attention, given the constraints of parenthood. Yet still we struggle to talk to our kids. “Sometimes it’s because people feel as though their faith prevents them from speaking openly about sex, sometimes it’s because our parents didn’t talk to us and we have no roadmap for these conversations,” Cody said. Just as often, we just aren’t sure — we don’t know what information is appropriate for what age or we aren’t entirely sure of the accuracy of our info, particularly where sexually transmitted diseases and current methods of birth control are concerned.

And of course there is the concern that discussing sex and sexuality with our teen children will somehow send a message that we condone it and that we want to provide them with not only information, but also permission. Sound familiar? Well here is some unsavory news for you: According to a 2009 study by the University of California Los Angeles/Rand Center for Adolescent Health Promotion, researchers found that more than 40% of adolescents had had intercourse before talking to their parents about safe sex, birth control or sexually transmitted diseases. The danger in avoiding the conversations — as uncomfortable as they may be — is that our kids are going to get the information elsewhere if not from us. And at that point, you may as well be letting the Pretty Little Liars or MTV educate your kids. And here’s the kind of good news for a generation of squeamish parents who think of the awkward sit-down of our own youth: The

“conversation” about sex is no longer thought to take place all at once. “What we have found is that children want to hear this information from us, and they want it to be in the form of relaxed conversations,” said Cody, who added that while it was once thought to be a good idea to have a single “sit-down” sometime during puberty, it is now widely agreed that conversations about sex should begin in early childhood and last throughout their childhood. Since the program was piloted back in 2005, “Let’s Be Honest” has reached more than 20,000 parents. Educators like Cody, who works in the Boston area, and Mindy Craver, Senior Educator who covers Central and Western Mass, have visited communities — through schools or other partnerships — and empowered parents to break down some of the myths about sexuality and parenting in an effort to help parents build a better skill set for talking with their kids. “The beauty of the workshops is watching parents leave more

relaxed and empowered,” Craver said. “I love to watch the light bulb go off about things that maybe they didn’t understand and now they get it.” While the program was initially created to serve parents of teens between the ages of 10 and 14, it was quickly acknowledged that parents with younger kids were looking for some help and aiming to get started much earlier. Now the program serves a much broader age range and has a mission of helping parents to get knowledgeable and comfortable with the subject matter they will be sharing with their children. After all, thanks to social media and a rapid-fire system of message and information, kids are exposed to a whole lot more (and a lot faster) than they once were in terms of gender identity and self-image. And it isn’t just social media — which has quickly become the easy scapegoat for the times in which we lived. It’s also video games, websites, politicians, celebrities, older siblings, advertising — the incoming information is neverending. It’s our job as parents, Cody said, to help our kids see everything through the lens of our own particular family values. “When we do these workshops

with parents,” she said of the home visits that are a popular Planned Parenthood offering, “we start to realize that if we want to be involved in this exchange of information, we better get into the conversation and let our voices be heard.” Some parents, Craver added, are under the assumption that everything kids need to know is being taught in school. As for what kids are learning at school (beyond talk in the locker room), the current health education curriculum varies from school district to school district, and may or may not cover sex and sexuality. “An Act Relative to Healthy Youth,” a bill currently in the State Legislature, addresses this issue and has garnered notable support. Sponsored by Sen. Sal DiDomenico (D-Everett), Rep. Jim O’Day (D-West Boylston) and Rep. Paul Brodeur (D-Melrose), the bill ensures that a Massachusetts school electing to teach sexuality education selects an appropriate curriculum that’s medically accurate, age-appropriate, and truly comprehensive. Under such a curriculum, students will learn about abstinence, delaying sexual activity, healthy relationships and healthy behaviors free of coercion, effective contraceptive use, and

LOVE & ROMANCE

who are genuinely unable to talk about certain subject matter, added Craver, is to point kids in the right direction to someone who is more capable. An aunt, a best friend, or a great book might bridge the gap and has the unexpected side effect of modeling for your child how you deal with the discomfort, which is not to avoid the topic altogether but to admit your feelings and suggest a different path to understanding. After all, she added, the kids have the ultimate resource — Google — at their fingertips for their questions. Google surely has the information they are looking for minus the “emotional feedback” — the judgment, the potential of being punished, and the awkward pauses between words. So our job as parents, in many ways, is to be more approachable and less judgmental so that our kids come to us and not Google. “We can’t keep them in a bubble, so we have to get involved,” Cody added.

sexually transmitted infections. The bill also maintains the existing state law that lets parents opt their children out of sexuality education programs. One decent alternative for parents

Head to baystateparent.com for more information on PPLM’s “Let’s Be Honest” program, as well as the current bill in the Legislature, “An Act Relative to Healthy Youth.”

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LOVE & ROMANCE

Romance & Parenting: REAL TALK ABOUT

WE TIME, CHOREPLAY AND MORE BY SARA POKORNY

In a life without children, the vision of romance tends to be conjured as such: candlelit dinners, trips to far-off places, days spent in bed or nights spent sitting up talking. Post-children is a different story, one in which the aforementioned romance picture pretty much vanishes. Days are spent cleaning up messes, running wildly to and fro to get errands completed, with nary a second to express much to your partner outside of, "Did you pick up that dog food I asked you to?" Does this mean that romance is a totally dead concept once children are part of the equation? Absolutely not — it just becomes a notion that evolves as the journey of parenthood does. “The reality of romance does change when we become parents. You and your partner are not only in a bonded relationship to each other, gazing into each other’s eyes, but there is another tiny person in the house [or more] demanding that we become really ‘grown up’ and put our personal needs to the side most of the time,” said Annette Cycon, LICSW, Founder and Director of Training at MotherWoman in Hadley. “Taking out the garbage, paying off the household debt, feeding the hungry hordes and mediating conflict does not set the tone for romance. It's easy to be irritable and take out stress on the closest target — your spouse or partner. We often forgot that this person is our closest ally, is in it up to their eyeballs, too, is exhausted and stressed just like us and could use what we are missing, which is gratitude, compassion and recognition.” "Me" time becomes "we" time. Romance is not just reserved for the couple; there are times it can actually include the kids, lending a new perspective to the whole 50 FEBRUARY2015 51

notion. “For Valentines Day, we've made valentines together as a family and for each other, which made us redefine ‘romance’ considerably, but was a practical approach to our new reality and established a new holiday ritual,” said Jenn Dorfield of South Hadley. "What is romantic and bonding is not only time together, but time with the family together," Cycon added. "It shows that our love and hard work have paid off with this beautiful family that we have created together. Just take the mental snapshot before the bickering starts again." Big nights out become big nights in. Who could remember to call for reservations at a time when there are a ton of other things going on at once? Romantic evenings no longer have to be spent at a fancy restaurant; they can just be constructed through simple time alone, at home. “When I had babies and didn't have the energy or resources to go out on a date, we used to put the kids to bed and have an ‘at-home date’ where we would open a bottle of wine, turn the lights down low, put on our favorite music, light candles and remember that we were once ‘girlfriend and boyfriend’, not coparents,” Cycon said. “At-home dates are a norm even with older kids,” Dorfield noted. “They’re on a budget and must be scheduled ahead to curb our inclinations to go separate ways at separate tasks.” Grand romantic gestures become pretty scaled down. Who needs flowers and chocolates when an hour alone — uninterrupted by children — to take a nap is the way to a parent's heart? The way

in which partners show they care changes quite a bit as the years go on, and become more simplified actions. Leaving love notes around the home that have nothing to do with parenthood, but everything to do with recognizing your partner is special even outside of the coparenting relationship becomes a way to whisper sweet nothings into his or her ear, just in a more convenient fashion. "Hearing the words, ‘Let me take the kids for an hour’ or ‘Go lay down’ is like hearing ‘I love you’ a thousand times," said Karen Wysocki of Agawam. "That shows me how much you care and cherish me, and want me to be happy." Sometimes it's simply expressing gratitude. "Say thank you every day for all the big and tiny things,” said Lauren Harris of South Hadley. “Make it a thing you both do each night before bed.” "Sexy time" is no longer just about sex. Not only do our environments change once children are introduced to them, so do our bodies. Women may feel more self conscious postbaby, we may be too tired to really get into things — suddenly, though sex is certainly nice, it's not exactly what we need to get the job done. "Laughing together is the best sex," said Liz Friedman, MotherWoman Program Director in Northampton. “My post-kids body isn’t nearly so amorous, so foot rubs are my new foreplay,” Dorfield added. Noted Cycon: “Sometimes just making out a little without sex is a nice way to show closeness to each other.” Foreplay becomes "choreplay." If you’ve never heard of the term

“choreplay,” you may want to become acquainted with it; it’s the act of being turned on by your spouse or partner doing housework, and it’s something many couples with children of all ages find to be applicable to their lives. "Emptying the dishwasher, even taking 10 minutes to pick up the kids' toys," said Jeannine Golden of Leverett, "are the unprompted tasks he does that make me extremely happy and sometimes a little weak in the knees." Moments for self-care are fewer and far between and may no longer necessitate things like a trip to the spa. Romance isn't reserved just for the partner, but the individual as well. If you make time to give yourself a little love, that's going to reflect back to your partner. “When we put ourselves on our ‘todo’ lists and take care of ourselves in small ways, we feel better about ourselves, feel less stress and come home refreshed, whether it is home to a partner or to our children,” Cycon said. These self-loving acts can be the tiniest of things: a phone call to a friend, a walk by yourself or with a friend, a long shower or not answering e-mails after a certain time of day. Though there are times you or your partner feel the romance is gone, remember that it isn't — it's just changed. Love is still expressed, just in different ways. And, perhaps, you can look at it as falling in love all over again — not with a husband or wife — but now with the father or mother of your children, someone you can appreciate with new eyes every day as they kiss boo-boos and clean up snotty noses. What's not romantic about that?

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Wrecking a Marriage LOVE & ROMANCE

HOW TO KEEP MONEY FROM BY GARY KELLEY

It’s February, the month of love. Are you feeling the love or have your finances taken away your loving feeling? Many find the mid-winter doldrums particularly challenging as the holiday and increased heating bills arrive. “Money is funny,” mused Scott Post, vice president of Strategy and Delivery, Hanscom Federal Credit Union in Bedford. “It makes the world go ’round and is the root of evil. And while love is blind, marriage is an eye opener!” Scott sees marriage beyond just a coming together of emotions, and he recommends conversations before the ceremony establishing an understanding around money. He even offers to have couples come into his office to review each party’s credit score. “Understanding the elements and contributing factors of the credit score can often be the starting point in a financial conversation,” he said. “In the end, communicating to each other is very important.” Once in a relationship, it is a matter of understanding the inflow and outflow of money to the relationship. Post recommends couples maintain separate checking accounts for personal expenses and establish a joint account for paying common expenses, with contributions to the joint account based on proportional income. 54 FEBRUARY2015 55

“Having your own account lets you save and spend for items of your personal interest, without building resentment for the other person,” he said. Technology is a resource for better finances, with a myriad of financial tools available to consumers today, including those such as Quicken and online banking from your financial institution. Even simple things like balance alerts and identity theft protection are easy, effective ways to oversee your financial transactions. More sophisticated resources can be used to aggregate accounts providing a consolidated view of the entire financial picture and general health. “Even with a wealth of tools at your disposal,” Post cautioned, “don’t move money without talking first. It really becomes a model of trust and verify.” At the Northampton Center for Couples Therapy, Director/Founder Kerry Lusignan cautioned that money can be a manifestation of other issues in a relationship. The issues around money are often really around values, freedom, autonomy and power, and thus the reason some couples sign a prenuptial agreement. Both Post and Lusignan agreed that getting ahead of issues is important. “Talking openly about specific issues around money [like debt

and income challenges] is almost a taboo of society. Couples often have tensions for six years before getting professional assistance. Frankly, they wait too long. All couples have perpetual and solvable ones,” according to Lusignan, a licensed mental health counselor For example, a couple may have one person who is conservative and a saver, while the other spouse believes in spending it all before they die. Those opposing views may never be reconciled. However, during open discussion, couples can gain a better understanding of each other’s viewpoint. “In a perfect world, we would all receive a partner’s manual…just like an owner’s manual….helping us understand the other person better,” Lusignan said. Children up the ante and further stress financial resources. “Couples have less money due to paying for daycare, often causing couples to work more and making seeing each other even harder. Little things can become major items quickly!” she added. In some counseling sessions, Lusignan even uses heartrate monitors and works with couples to have “soft startups” to conversations. “The first three minutes of a conversation will often determine the outcome,” she said. “When issues are brought up

harshly, 96% of the time an argument ensues. We encourage questions to seek clarity and encourage short breaks if the discussion is too intense. Often, one partner simply wants to be heard and validated, and we help make it happen.” Mark Fantasia, vice president/ financial advisor of Retirement Planning & Investment Center of Workers Credit Union in Fitchburg, echoed these sentiments and uses a financial plan or budget to foster communications and get a couple to align their thinking. “Couples should develop a financial plan for both short- and long-term needs,” he said. “Before investing for the long term or making big purchases, they should have three to six months of living expenses in an easily accessible account. This safety fund may be needed for unexpected emergencies. “Couples should also design a realistic budget for both short and long term needs both parties agree upon,” he continued. “Early warning signs can be seen in the budgeting process. If both parties strongly disagree on what items are important, a plan will never get developed.” Most people don’t know exactly what they spend on a monthly basis for various items — important knowledge for developing realistic budgets. Couples should save

all receipts for a few months to identify what they are spending on food, clothes, entertainment, transportation, etc. First they need to look at securing their basic living needs, such as what percentage of income they allocate to housing. (Fantasia recommends no more than 25% of gross income be spent on housing.) Once a couple has identified what disposable income is left, they need to agree upon what will be saved for long-term needs such as retirement and childrens’ education savings. These figures vary greatly for each couple depending upon what is already saved and what employer pension plans may be in place. “Once all the basic living needs and long-term savings have been secured, we can identify what disposable income is left for discretionary items such as vacations.” “Couples should also take 30 minutes a month to review income and expenses,” Fantasia added. “Review credit card and bank statements together so both are well aware of what is being spent and where it is going. Don’t wait until it is too late to have these discussions with your spouse. If you find one spouse is not agreeing to

the budget plan or is just not good at finances, agree to have the more financially capable spouse in charge of the budget.” With planning and ongoing communications, it’s clear couples can brighten their financial outlook and keep the loving feeling year round.

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FDA: Avoid Fetal ‘Keepsake’ Images, Heartbeat Monitors How Many Ultrasounds Are Too Many? BY AMANDA ROBERGE

It can be heartwarming when someone shows you their cute little fetus. That black and white fuzzy image — or more recently a sepia-toned 3D image — makes you happy to be alive in the age of technology in which stuff like that is even possible. When my babies were being incubated in the first decade of the new millennium, you would have been hard-pressed to find someone without one or more of these blurry images on their fridge. Mine got updated just about every month — my blob was growing and I had the pics to prove it. Just think! Our poor mothers had to wait until we were actually born to learn our sex and ensure we had 10 fingers, 10 toes and all of our other bits and pieces in working order. Ah, the suspense. Now, if parents don’t find out the info they were hoping for at one visit, the next one might be just around the corner. Furthermore, “keepsake” imaging centers will show you your in-utero baby for a reasonable fee. Who can forget

the media buzz when Tom Cruise shared the news of his latest toy purchase — an ultrasound machine — with Oprah Winfrey? Even in 2005, doctors were skeptical and not huge fans of Cruise’s new starring role as ultrasound tech. In addition to keepsake imaging centers, at-home Doppler and heartbeat monitors are now readily available for home use and the Federal Drug Administration has something to say about it. In a statement last month, the FDA cautioned against the use of such devices in general, citing that extended time on the skin can cause tissue damage. The warning’s language, however, was ambiguous at best and when read in its entirety, could be interpreted as targeting the at-home use of technologies moreso than those provided under the care of a trained physician or specialist. Either way, the warning is being noted by Massachusetts professionals, who have long agreed that the over-usage of imaging and heartbeat monitors has become something of a

widespread problem. “Yes, the technology is neat, but that doesn’t mean we need to be using it,” said Greenfield-based doula and childbirth educator Marissa Potter. Despite their agreement with the FDA, it was not lost on medical professionals that there was a distinct lack of peer-reviewed, evidence-based research accompanying the warning. Even so, many medical professionals agree that harmful or not, it’s time to gravitate toward a sentiment of less-is-more when it comes to ultrasound technology. "Although there is a lack of evidence of any harm due to ultrasound imaging and heartbeat monitors, prudent use of these devices by trained health care providers is important," says Shahram Vaezy, Ph.D., an FDA biomedical engineer. "Ultrasound can heat tissues slightly, and in some cases, it can also produce very small bubbles (cavitation) in some tissues." According to Potter, the medical profession’s reliance on testing

and technology is the bigger issue to which the FDA’s latest warning speaks. In our “imageobsessed” culture, she said, many of the advancements — including technologies such as ultrasound and fetal heartbeat monitors — have not served to reduce the morbidity and mortality rates like they were once thought to do. Dr. Andrew Healy, a perinatologist from Maternal Fetal Medicine at Baystate Health in Springfield, couldn’t agree more. While he works primarily with high-risk patients and relies heavily on technology like ultrasound in order to keep women and their babies safe, he errs on the side of conservatism when it comes to testing. “The bottom line is that we shouldn’t be ordering tests — ultrasound included — unless it will impact the management of a patient’s care,” he said. But Dr. Healy also acknowledges that the FDA’s warning is firmly rooted in common sense, and that while there isn’t an abundance of scientific data to support the BAYSTATEPARENT 56 57

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warning, it also isn’t unheard of in the medical community to learn later of the dangers of something once thought to be entirely safe. A woman experiencing a typical pregnancy is likely to be subjected to three ultrasounds. The first takes place in the first trimester for screening and dating purposes, which Dr. Healey said is useful and important because it has cut down on later inductions for pregnancies that were thought to be further along. The second ultrasound typically takes place around 18-20 weeks gestation and confirms growth of internal organs and screens for abnormalities. At this time, the baby’s sex can often be identified, but it is not the sole purpose for the test. A third and final ultrasound is possible — but not likely — in the third trimester, according to Dr. Healy. For Certified Nurse Midwife Judie Brock, who until recently practiced in Northampton, the time is ripe for a reality check about what has been lost in the wake of so-called advancements. “I do believe that it can be a valuable tool but is very much overused,” she explained, adding that she was the first midwife at Cooley Dickinson Hospital and founded the Center for Midwifery Care. She

recently left the practice to work in a setting where there is less reliance on technology, Gifford Hospital in rural Vermont. “I can speak to the loss of hand skills by birth professionals who have come to rely too heavily on technology.” Even acknowledging all of the negatives that have come along with imaging technology, Potter believes they do have their place and time. At the most basic of levels, knowing a baby’s sex or seeing a life beating with them can help a mother begin to bond. Brock noted that one of the most positive uses of ultrasound she has seen is as a tool to help alleviate the fear and anxiety of a woman who has experienced profound loss prior to a pregnancy. For women who fall in that category, having ongoing confirmation of a baby’s health and vitality can make all the difference in her well-being. In cases like that, she said, where testing is being administered by a trained professional, it’s her opinion that the benefits outweigh the concerns. “There is a time and place for every intervention and if you are in the position to need one of them, thank goodness they exist,” she added. “But beyond that, it’s always best to go with as few interventions as possible.”

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Because it takes expert care to deliver a miracle

Bringing miracles to life is our passion at the LaChance Maternity Center at Heywood Hospital. Our expert team of physicians, nurses and doulas, provide personalized attention in a state-of-the-art environment that promotes a tranquil and natural birthing experience, resulting in the lowest caesarean birth rate in the state. And our specialty services â&#x20AC;&#x201C; from our post-birth celebration dinner to our rejuvenating spa treatments including relaxing whirlpool hydrotherapy, post-partum massage therapy, music therapy and aromatherapy â&#x20AC;&#x201C; will leave you feeling just heavenly. To find out more about the services offered at the LaChance Maternity Center visit www.heywood.org. To register for a Childbirth Class or schedule a tour of the LaChance Maternity Center call (978) 630-6216.

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BAYSTATEPARENT 58 59 7/11/14 10:09 PM

While great strides have been made to improve the workplace environment for pregnant working women, advocates say more needs to be done. 1964 The Civil Rights Act makes it illegal to discriminate on the basis of sex. 1972 The Massachusetts Maternity Leave Act is enacted, providing eight weeks of unpaid jobprotected leave to full-time female employees after they have completed a probationary period. Employers are required to restore the female employee to her previous position or similar position with the same pay, status, and seniority provided that she return before eight weeks. Excluded from coverage in the original act: men, part-time female employees, and adoptive mothers. 1974 United States Supreme Court case Geduldig v. Aiello upholds state and private insurance plans that denied disability coverage to pregnant women. 1978 The Pregnancy Discrimination Act is passed as an amendment to Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964. It is now illegal to discriminate against an employee because she is pregnant. 1980s The number of pregnant women fired from their jobs hits an all-time low of 2.3%.

1984-1989 The Massachusetts Commission

Against Discrimination expands the Massachusetts Medical Maternity Leave Act to include adoptions.

1990s About 26.9% of women quit their jobs

once they became pregnant compared to the more than 50% who quit before the passage of the Pregnancy Discrimination Act.

1993 The federal Family Medical Leave Act is enacted. Under the FMLA, eligible employees of covered employers are entitled to take unpaid jobprotected leave for family and medical reasons. 2000 55% of women who gave birth in 2000 also worked that year. 2008 The Massachusetts Commission Against Discrimination begins applying the Massachusetts Maternity Leave Act in a gender-neutral fashion. 2012 The Pregnant Workers Fairness Act is introduced in Congress. Under this act, employers would be required to make reasonable accommodation for pregnant employees. No further action has been taken. 2012-2014 New York City’s Pregnant Worker

Fairness Act goes into effect. Under this act, employees in New York City are entitled to reasonable accommodations including, but not limited to, a modified work schedule and occasional breaks to rest. This legislation was also passed in Alaska, California, Connecticut, Hawaii, Illinois, Louisiana, Maryland, Minnesota, New Jersey, Texas, West Virginia. Source: MotherWoman

60 FEBRUARY2015 61

MOM MATTERS

Massachusetts Pregnant Workers Fairness Act Introduced to Protect Women and Their Jobs BY MICHELE BENNETT DECOTEAU

hen our mothers and grandmothers became pregnant, they were expected to stop working and stay home for at least the duration of their pregnancy. Now, most of us have experienced either being pregnant while working or having a pregnant co-worker. In fact, over half the Massachusetts women who were pregnant or new mothers in 2013 were also employed. Last month, the proposed Massachusetts Pregnant Workers Fairness Act (PWFA) was introduced in the state Legislature, aiming to extend temporary accommodations to pregnant women that would allow them to keep working and protect their health and their child’s, as well as their job. Nationwide, the most fundamental protection for pregnant working women is the Pregnancy Discrimination Act of 1978, which made it illegal to fire a woman just for being pregnant. However, there is a legal loophole: The law doesn’t require that an employer make any special accommodations for a woman during pregnancy unless they make the same for other temporarily disabled workers. If a pregnant employee cannot perform the duties she was hired for, she can still be fired. This issue is being tested again in a case before the Supreme Court, Young vs UPS. Most employers will accommodate a pregnant worker who may need a stool or an extra bathroom break, but what happens when they won’t? Unfortunately in Massachusetts, a pregnant woman has very little she can do to protect herself from an employer unwilling to make such arrangements. If the boss says no to a stool or insists on heavy lifting while pregnant, even a doctor’s note cannot protect a woman’s job. Massachusetts mom Makenna* was working as an assistant manager at a large service station when she found out she was pregnant with her first child. She had a reputation as a good worker and had been promoted within the company. About six months into her pregnancy, she began to get dizzy at work,

which prompted her doctor to write her a note restricting her to light duty, no lifting, and sitting whenever possible. Makenna said her boss refused to provide a stool or ask other employees to load milk into the cooler. “My boss told me I had to fill the cooler and just to do it one jug at a time,” she said. “Older workers were allowed to ask younger workers to load the coolers and change the trash, but when they did that for me, she told them to stop, it wasn’t their job.” Makenna added that her manager even continued to require that she check gas levels in the station’s tanks, which meant leaning over open gas tanks inhaling petroleum fumes. When she asked for accommodations like a stool, she lost hours and was reduced from 40 hours per week to 30 hours, she said. No longer full time, Mekenna lost some of her benefits at a time when she would need them most. Later in her pregnancy, she got so dizzy at work that even sitting on two milk crates, the only stool she could use, didn’t relieve the symptoms. Mekenna called her manager to come in to relieve her so she could see her doctor. Her manager refused, so she left with the support of the workers she supervised. She lost her job and went into labor all that night; her son was delivered at 36 weeks. “Most of the time, accommodations are left up to the employer and if they won’t make any, women usually leave the job and try and move on. We leave it to the next generation to deal with and we aren’t talking about it,” says Liz Friedman, Program Director at non-profit MotherWoman, based in Hadley. The organization’s mission: to support and empower “mothers to create personal and social change by building community safety nets, impacting family policy and promoting the leadership and resilience of mothers.” Along with many other organizations in the Commonwealth, MotherWoman is supporting the Massachusetts PWFA. Across the country many states are adopting new laws or expanding old ones to give pregnant workers more protection

and modest accommodation. Nationally, the Pregnant Workers Fairness Act was introduced in Congress in 2012, but no further action has been taken since. The Massachusetts PWFA will amend Section 4 of the General Law of Massachusetts and is being co-sponsored by Rep. Ellen Story (D-Amherst), Rep. David Rogers (D-Cambridge) and Sen. Joan Lovely (D-Salem). “Accommodating pregnant workers is fair and just, and it makes sense economically, socially, and healthwise,” Lovely said. “We need to protect all of our workers.” “This should make sense to businesses,” Mother Woman’s Friedman added. “Over half the workforce are women and how many of them are pregnant in any given year? Any time they have to train a new employee that is costly. This also has bearing on their health insurance rates — a healthy pregnancy is far less expensive.” Small business owner Dean Cycon, owner of Dean’s Beans in Orange, agreed: “When a recent employee was pregnant we ensured that she had an opportunity to sit as needed, to have water and bathroom breaks and not to need to lift heavy packages during her last trimester. This was a no-brainer to us. She's our employee and we wanted to ensure her commitment and health

while employed at Dean's Beans. This is the decent thing to do for our employees. It also makes good business sense.” This act would specifically require employers to make “reasonable accommodations” such as providing stools, bathroom breaks, assistance with manual labor, modified work schedules, and private non-bathroom space for expressing milk. The employer would be required to prove that any accommodations would be an undue hardship for the business. Only businesses with more than 15 employees will be affected. Many see employers benefitting not only from reduced turnover from pregnant workers but also the loyalty of non-pregnant employees. This act will ensure that all workers are treated fairly. More families are depending on the income of both parents and advocates say no woman should have to choose between a healthy pregnancy and her job, a decision Makenna had to make: “My child and my health were just more important than my job and I had to quit.” To keep up with the latest news on the Massachusetts PWFA’s legislative progress, visit baystateparent.com. * Name changed by request

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FUN, FREE WAYS For Families to Experience AND BENEFIT FROM ART EVERY DAY

Photo by Laura Termini

Art

is everywhere – in what we look at, what we read, what we listen to: the sights and sounds of our modern landscape. But how can we harness all of these influences into beneficial, creative, educational experiences for our families? By making art every day! When I say “make art every day” I don’t mean that you need to complete an oil painting or compose a symphony. Just try something fun and meaningful that your family can do together. Do you watch television in the morning while you get ready for work and school? Why not introduce “The Mozart Effect” and listen to music instead? The idea that music makes you smarter has received considerable attention from scientists, including findings that show classical music or playing an instrument can enhance specific types of higher brain function. How can a family appreciate fine art every day? Fine art is rooted in drawing and design-based works such as painting, printmaking, and sculpture. Visiting an art gallery or museum is a great introduction to these visual arts and the importance of creating something purely for its aesthetic. If you decide to visit a 62 FEBRUARY2015 63

EVERYDAY ART: Mozart, Shakespeare, Degas… OH MY!

BY DARCY SCHWARTZ

gallery or museum, here are some suggestions to be sure your trip is an exciting experience for everyone: • Start small. Choose a theme that relates to your child’s interests, and look at just three or four pieces to see how different artists represent the subject. • Pay attention to the artwork’s message, and listen to your family’s response to what they are viewing. Experts say toddlers respond positively to scenes of daily life and abstract art like that of Picasso or Klee, while older children and adults respond well to landscapes. • Watch for art in progress. There is a fascination at any age to see art in the making, so look for people who are sketching in the galleries, exhibits that show a process, or hands-on activities in which your family can take part. A museum experience immerses you into the world of visual arts, but if you can’t make it to the museum there are other ways to bring them into your everyday life. Choose a place to explore work outside of the museum, such as the library or an online gallery. Is your child interested

in dance? Share with them the artwork of Edgar Degas. Show them his painting Ballet Rehearsal and ask how they feel about the layout and colors. Ask them to draw a picture inspired by the painting or write about what they think is happening. Setting up a space in your home to display these works is perfect for sharing new ideas and prompting creative discussion. Looking at, writing about, and drawing from an inspired work brings the creative process full circle, and backs up current discussions on how important it is to identify and incorporate art into our everyday experiences. According to a report by Americans for the Arts, making decisions and choices in the course of creating art carries over into other parts of life. Children especially need to know more about the world than just what they learn through text and numbers. Art education teaches students how to interpret, analyze, and use visual information to make informed choices. When kids are encouraged to take risks expressing themselves, they develop a sense of innovation that will be important in their adult lives. So how else can you enhance your daily family life through art? Recognize the art around you —

photo calendars, book illustrations, city murals, architecture. All are part of a common visual dialogue and enhance our creativity subconsciously. For children, create an “art corner” filled with materials for them to draw, color, paint and sculpt. Provide props and dressup for dramatic play. Introducing musical instruments, keeping a journal and singing and dancing are also great ways to spark your child’s imagination, but if you really want to explore art-related activities for the whole family, here are four fun experiences to try: Visit The Eric Carle Museum of Picture Book Art in Amherst (carlemuseum.org). Sit in the gallery with The Hungry Caterpillar, get out your paper and pencils, and sketch your favorite picture book characters. There is a library where families can read together, a theatre that hosts live performances, and an in-house art studio where you can create your own fine art, and maybe even run into Carle! During Summer months you can visit Mayo Beach in Wellfleet and introduce your family to the works of Shakespeare, performed by the Knighthorse Theatre Company (knighthorse.org). Macbeth, Henry VI, and Romeo and Juliet all come to

life just steps from one of Cape Cod’s most beautiful beaches. This isn’t a formal theatre, these are intimate performances, “under the tent,” by trained thespians who know their craft, and interact with the audience in a way that makes you feel like you are part of the stories written by history’s most famous playwright. They are free to attend, with only a “pass the hat” request at the end of each performance. Attending a live music performance as a family, like The Boston Pops, is the perfect way to engage in a performing art. I however, am sending you to “Liquid Fireworks” at Jordan’s Furniture in Reading. It’s an amazing, free combination of artistic disciplines that you can’t help but enjoy. The attraction is music synced to dancing water and a colorful, psychedelic, laser light show that takes place in a perfectly designed landscape made entirely of jelly beans! A full-surround family art experience. Walk through the woods at Walden Pond in Concord and trace the steps of transcendentalist writer Henry David Thoreau. Visit the small cabin that served as the centerpiece of his book Walden and let your senses take in the artistic beauty that Mother Nature has bestowed upon this place. Stay for a while. Take it all in, and then wander down the road to the DeCordova Sculpture Park and

Museum (decordova.org) where there are 75 contemporary sculptures exhibited on the property. Visiting the park is free and in nice weather you can picnic on the grounds and discover how outdoor art enters into complex alliances with sites and environmental conditions. So live an art-filled life, and enjoy how these creative experiences can bring you together as a family. Cherish the look on your child’s face as they gaze at the dancing light in Claude Monet’s Water Lilies. Watch with wonder as they close their eyes and lose themselves in the sounds of the symphony. Laugh excitedly as you re-enact your own version of a favorite Dr. Seuss story, and look with awe at the bold, brilliant pieces of artwork your children have created, proudly hanging in the new gallery, formerly known as your hallway. Feel welcome in this new space, as you are building the pathway to the future through inspiration, imagination, and the experiences of everyday art! For art projects and creative experiences that bring art into your family’s daily life, like creating your own STEM/STEAM Chihuly-inspired sculpture or finding the original fine-art selfie series right here in Massachusetts, visit ArtReach (facebook.com/artreachprogram) and download the reference list related to this article.

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Make a hula skirt, dress up like a sailor, scavenger hunts and more! For more information visit www.battleshipcove.org or call 508-678-1100 ext. 101. 5 Water Street, Fall River MA 508-678-1100 www.battleshipcove.org

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COUNTDOWN TO CAMP

All the Summer’s a Stage at Shakespeare Camp BY JESSICA DAY

“All the world’s a stage…” the Bard wrote, but during the summer that stage has a specific location in Lenox at Shakespeare & Company. For children ages 7 to 9, 10 to 12, and 13 to 15, there’s Riotous Youth — a day camp that features Shakespeare, of course, but perhaps even more importantly, fun. “Riotous Youth gives young people a place to be unashamedly bold, creative, and silly through some of

the most exciting stories,” says Ally Allen, one of the camp’s “education artists.” A former member of the Riotous Youth Company who now directs Shakespeare & Company’s fall festival, she works with middle school students and most recently played Ophelia in Shakespeare & Company’s production of Hamlet. “As a teacher, I sincerely hope that my students have fun in Riotous Youth,” Allen explains. “I hope

LEtGO Your Mind offers creative and enriching programs in the areas of simple machines, robotics and stop animation. Summer programs are for students between the ages of 4-13. We focus on STEM concepts (Science, Technology, Engineering, Math) while the kids have lots of fun while gaining “skills for a lifetime.”

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Andover, Hanover, Lexington, Newton, N. Andover, N. Chelmsford, Sharon, Tewksbury, Melrose, Walpole, Wakefield, Wellesley, West Roxbury 64 FEBRUARY2015 65

that after a two-week session they embrace Shakespeare as something they can understand and enjoy; these plays give students a safe place to take risks and make personal discoveries in the process.” The brainchild of John Beale and Tor Bjornsen, former Shakespeare & Company actors, Riotous Youth launched in 1999. The first year one two-week, half-day session was offered; since then, the program has grown to four two-week, full-day sessions, with kids coming from as far away as Boston to attend. “There’s nothing typical about a ‘typical’ day with Riotous Youth,” says Associate Director of Education Jenna Ware. In other words, while some kids might be familiar with Shakespeare’s works, that’s certainly not a prerequisite, and sometimes…well, sometimes the plays don’t wind up looking the way one might expect. “It’s a noncompetitive atmosphere,” Ware explains, “and we listen to our students’ requests; we’re giving kids language that fits the size of their ideas.” To that end, every camper gets his or her moment in the spotlight — Riotous Youth-style — in

the form of a monologue. “One year we had 18 Juliets in Romeo and Juliet,” Ware laughs, “but it worked!” Perhaps there are no typical days at Riotous Youth because there are no typical Riotous Youth campers, either. “We have all kinds of kids with all kinds of interests in the program,” Ware says. That includes “theater kids” who practice their craft year-round, as well as kids who only “do” Shakespeare in the summer. “We don’t have one type of student,” she adds, “just as we don’t believe there’s only one way to perform Shakespeare.” The first couple days of a session are spent getting to know one another and one of Shakespeare’s plays. After that, mornings are for rehearsing and afternoons are filled with group activities that may be unrelated to the performance but are still connected to theater. “I remember partaking in one particular activity called ‘crossing the river,’” recalls Allen. “The goal was to get all members of the group from one side of the stage to the other without touching the floor. I remember immense silliness as we failed gloriously, eventually using

COUNTDOWN TO CAMP

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south bank of the Thames River in London. This summer’s Riotous Youth sessions begin on in late June, and campers in all three age groups will tackle As You Like It. Other sessions throughout the summer will center around Henry V, Macbeth, Twelfth Night.

• Exceptional Staff • Lots of Choices • Base Camp • Teen Leadership • Day Tripper Programs

surrounding objects — most notably, a trashcan — to make our way across. Activities like these really encourage group bonding — I’m still in contact with many of the students from that group.” In addition to being bonded by the joy of silliness, Allen credits the fact that she and her fellow students were asked to collaborate and support each other during and outside of rehearsal for the closeness that remains to this day. “I also remember the amount of agency and responsibility we were trusted with,” she says. “It was up to the group to solve the problems we came across!” Other afternoon activities might include learning how to clown or stage a duel, voice or movement classes, and more. Of course it’s the performances at the end of a session that are eagerly awaited by students, their families, and teachers alike. All Riotous Youth performances are staged in Shakespeare & Company’s Rose Playhouse — the world’s only historically accurate recreation of the original Rose, which was built in 1587 on the

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June 22 - August 28 Co-ed for ages 3-16 Traditional Camp activities include archery, arts and crafts, canoeing, kayaking, nature study, music, drama, sports, high and low ropes course, outdoor skills, and swim lessons. Specialty Camps include Flight, Physics, Farm Camp, Drama, Fort Building, Robotics, Hip Hop, Horseback Riding and Arts and Crafts camp. Teen Leadership and Trip and Travel Programs. Busing, AM/PM extended day programs and financial assistance are available. Registered Nurse on site at all times. First Aid, CPR and EPI-pen trained staff.

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Creativity Grows Here Explore Nature as Art in Week-long Classes for Grades 1–8 Drawing, Painting, Sculpture & More!

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Learn more at danforthart.org/summerarts.html

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COUNTDOWN TO CAMP

Mass Audubon Nature Day Camps In Central MA Broad Meadow Brook Wildlife Sanctuary 414 Massasoit Rd. Worcester, MA 01604 Camp Director 508-753-6087 x 5013 bmbrookcamp@massaudubon.org Serves Children Ages 4.5-16

Wachusett Meadow Wildlife Sanctuary 113 Goodnow Rd. Princeton, MA 01541 Camp Director 978-464-2712 x 8577 wachusett@massaudubon.org Serves Children Ages 3.5-17

• A unique opportunity to learn about the natural world. • Meet new friends and have lots of fun! • Specialty sessions such as digital photography, teen adventure trip, woodworking, wilderness skills and theater. • Experienced staff who provide a safe, educational, and noncompetitive camp environment. • An experience that will last a lifetime!

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www.massaudubon.org/get-outdoors

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My daughter attended the sailing camp for the first time and now wants to go all summer. Next year she will attend Regatta Point more weeks. It was amazing how after one week she was able to take us sailing by herself. – Parent of a camper

7-9 years • Guppies 5 week long camps starting June 22 • Half/Full Day • $219/$350 9-12 years • 9 week long camps starting June 22 • $265/week • 9-4pm 13-18 years • Teen Programs • 3 - 3 week sessions • $225/session Early drop off and late pick up available

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email info@regattapoint.org • 508.757.2140 • www.RegattaPoint.org 66 FEBRUARY2015 67

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COUNTDOWN TO CAMP

Don’t Miss the Region’s

Coming to theatres and DVD this month BY JANE LOUISE BOURSAW

The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water Not yet rated, most likely PG In theaters Feb. 6 OK for Kids 7+ Reel Preview: 3.5 of 5 Reels Our favorite sponge (voiced by Tom Kenny) goes on a quest to discover a stolen recipe

Ballet 422

Seventh Son

PG for brief language In theaters Feb. 6 OK for Kids 10+ Reel Preview: 4.5 of 5 Reels Under the artistic direction of Ballet Master in Chief Peter Martins, New York City Ballet boasts more than 90 elite dancers and a repertory of works by the best choreographers. When 25-year-old NYCB dancer Justin Peck begins to emerge as a promising young choreographer, he's commissioned to create a new ballet for the Company’s 2013 Winter Season. The documentary film follows Peck as he collaborates with musicians, lighting designers, costume designers and dancers to create Paz de la Jolla, NYCB’s 422nd new ballet. A fascinating look behind the curtain of the ballet world.

Care Bears: Share Your Care Not Rated OK for Kids 3+ Reel Review: 4 of 5 Reels 68 FEBRUARY2015 69

that takes him to our world, where he tangles with a pirate named Burger-Beard (Antonio Banderas), who’s searching for the final page of a magical book that makes any evil plan he writes in it come true. In this case, it happens to be the Krabby Patty secret formula. When the formula goes missing and Bikini Bottom is in danger, SpongeBob, Patrick (Bill Fagerbakke) and the gang journey to the surface to retrieve the recipe and save their city.

After the Bears catch the Feeling Flu, all their usual feelings are switched, until Harmony leads them to a cure. Then it’s Share Bear to the rescue when twin sisters need help with their friendship issues, and when Funshine is overcome by fears, Grumpy inspires him by bringing happiness to a boy in need. These sweet tales encourage little ones to open their heart and journey to Care-a-Lot for a celebration of caring and sharing.

PG-13 for intense fantasy violence and action throughout, frightening images and brief strong language In theaters Feb. 6 OK for Kids 14+ Reel Preview: 4.5 of 5 Reels In a time of enchantments when legends and magic collide, the sole remaining warrior of a mystical order (Oscar winner Jeff Bridges,

putting his gnarly voice to good use) travels to find a prophesized hero born with incredible powers, the last Seventh Son (Ben Barnes). Torn from his quiet life as a farmhand, the unlikely hero embarks on a daring adventure with his battle-worn mentor to vanquish a dark queen (Julianne Moore) and her army of supernatural assassins. Based on the book “The Spook’s Apprentice” by Joseph Delaney.

Jupiter Ascending PG-13 for some violence, sequences of sci-fi action, some suggestive content and partial nudity In theaters Feb. 6 OK for Kids 13+ Reel Preview: 4 of 5 Reels Jupiter Jones (Mila Kunis) was born under a night sky, with signs predicting a great destiny. Now grown, Jupiter dreams of the stars, but wakes up to the cold reality of a job cleaning other people’s houses and an endless run of bad breaks. Only when Caine (Channing Tatum), a genetically engineered ex-military hunter, arrives on Earth to track her down does Jupiter begin to see the truth. Her genetic signature marks her as next in line for an extraordinary inheritance that could alter the balance of the cosmos. This original sci-fi epic adventure is written, produced and directed by Lana and Andy Wachowski.

Jane’s Reel Rating System • One Reel – Even The Force can’t save it. • Two Reels – Coulda been a contender. • Three Reels – Something to talk about. • Four Reels – You want the truth? Great flick! • Five Reels – Wow! The stuff dreams are made of.

For more family movie previews, trailers and more head to baystateparent.com

We are not just a sign company . . .

Worcester Chamber Music Society Presents a free family concert

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Sunday, March 1 3:00 – 4:00 pm Call for more information about how we can help your business.

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our february favorites fa monday

sunday

tuesday

11 {Tip} 2 Try to limit your alcohol consumption during cold season. Alcohol weakens the immune system and can leave you susceptible to germs. It also dehydrates you, which impairs your nose and throat’s ability to catch germs when they enter your body.

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On the go? Steri-bottle is a single-use, safe and convenient alternative to traditional baby bottles. With no need for washing or sanitizing, it’s always ready to use and compact for easy packing and carrying. Learn how you can win one at baystateparent.com today.

23 {Fact} 22 Martin Luther King Jr. put aside his prepared remarks and extemporaneously delved into the “dream” section of his iconic March on Washington speech after his friend, gospel singer Mahalia Jackson, shouted: “Tell ‘em about the dream, Martin.”

3 {WIN}

wednesday

Give your leggings additional style miles with Hemlets, colorful cuffs that transform leggings from boring and basic to fun and distinctive. Available in a variety of prints, these high-quality legging accessories were designed by a 13-year-old girl. Visit baystateparent.com today for your chance to win!

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17 {Fact} 17

The official Mardi Gras colors were chosen in 1872 to honor the visiting Russian Grand Duke Romanoff, whose house colors were purple, green and gold.

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Skip the drama at the shoe store and size your children’s feet at home with Squatchi. Lightweight and unbreakable, this sizer features measurement lines that range from Size 2 toddler to 5 youth and is ideal for children ages 1-11. For your chance to bring it home, visit baystateparent.com today.

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s facts, finds and freebies

thursday

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saturday

Replace those boring paper invitations with an Invite Bandz kit. The colorful bands work as an all-in-one invitation, online social party page and thank-you letter, each equipped with a private code that allows guests to access the webpage where they can RSVP, chat, and upload photos and videos. Make your child’s next birthday party cuttingedge; enter to win this kit today.

14 {Fact} 14

While this day is well-known for one reason, it’s also Read to Your Child Day. Experts say just 15 minutes a day yields incredible benefits.

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Football season has ended, but your baby can keep it going by snuggling up in a Teamees football blanket made of high-quality minky fabric. Head to baystateparent.com today for details on how to enter to win this lush blanket, which retails for $54.

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Learn to code and have fun with Ozobot, a tiny robot kids can program to move and dance on physical surfaces like paper or digital planes such as an iPhone or iPad. Bring Ozobot home to your young programmer by entering today at baystateparent.com.

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Party - Kids

Service Directory

Big Joe

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Ba Ba Ba Big Bo Bu Ca Ce Ch Cit Co Co Co Cro Da DC Exe Fle FM Fo The Ha He Jus Ka Ka Kin Lan Leg Let Litt Ma Ma Ma Mi

Bancroft School....................................................... 75 Battleship Cove....................................................... 63 Bay State Skating School ........................................ 31 Big Y Foods, Inc. . .................................................... 4 Boston Children’s Theatre ........................................ 44 Build Me Up Play Center ......................................... 41 Casa Vallarta........................................................... 25 Central MA Dance Academy...................................... 44 Children’s Development Network, Inc............................ 6 City of Worcester..................................................... 43 Cornerstone Academy................................................. 3 Cornerstone Behaviorial Health.................................. 10 Country Montessori.................................................. 58 Crocodile River Music............................................... 61 Danforth Museum of Art........................................... 65 DCU Center............................................................. 73 Exergen.................................................................. 55 Fletcher Tilton PC..................................................... 12 FMC Ice Sports........................................................ 51 Focus Photography.................................................. 53 The Hanover Theatre.................................................. 2 Harrington Oil......................................................... 15 Heywood Hospital.................................................... 59 Justice Resource Institute.......................................... 51 Kathy Corrigan Gymnastics........................................ 49 Karen Moriarty Photography........................................ 9 Kingdom Cuts............................................................ 9 Lanni Orchards........................................................ 27 Legoland Discovery Center Boston.............................. 71 Let Go Your Mind Camp............................................ 64 Little V Designs....................................................... 15 Mall At Whitney Field............................................... 21 Marchand Financial, LLC........................................... 55 Mass Audubon Society............................................. 66 Millbury Federal Credit Union.................................... 13

Millbury Savings Bank.............................................. 39 Music Together Corporation....................................... 33 Next Generation Children’s Ctr..................................... 5 Nichols College........................................................ 45 Nashoba Regional HIgh School Friends of Drama......... 45 Old Sturbridge Village............................................... 24 Playtown Express..................................................... 22 PR Running............................................................. 39 Propel Marketing..................................................... 61 Regatta Point Community Sailing............................... 66 Reliant Medical Group.............................................. 56 Rovezzi’s Ristorante................................................. 11 Sharks Minor Holdings, LLC....................................... 69 Shawna Shenette Photography.................................. 49 Shrewsbury Children’s Center.................................... 63 Shrewsbury Montessori School.................................. 53 Signarama Worcester............................................... 69 Simon Malls........................................................... 36 Springfield Museums................................................ 23 Summer Fenn/The Fenn School................................ 65 Sunday River Resort................................................. 47 The Children’s Workshop........................................... 51 The Learning Zone................................................... 33 The Whale Camp..................................................... 67 Tower Hill Botanic Garden......................................... 16 Turn 4 Hobbies........................................................ 31 UMass Memorial Medical Center.......................19,58,76 Wachusett Mountain................................................ 43 Wee Care for Little People, Inc.................................. 53 Wheelock College Theatre......................................... 22 Worcester Art Museum............................................. 40 Worcester Chamber Music Society.............................. 69 YMCA Central Branch............................................... 20 YMCA-Metrowest..................................................... 65 YWCA of Central Massachusetts................................. 67

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take eight

with Ralph and Jane Meunier

With marriage rates decreasing and divorce still prevalent, the accomplishment of a 50th wedding anniversary is more impressive than ever before. Ralph and Jane Meunier of Sterling, who recently celebrated their Golden Anniversary, took some time to share their thoughts on marriage, parenting and more.

You’ve accomplished something beautiful that fewer people are achieving these days. What’s the secret to a long, happy marriage? Jane: Love, patience, understanding. Ralph: Perseverance. Along with the multitude of happy times, there will be rough waters. A determined effort to overcome these difficulties is necessary to sustain a long relationship.

When you think of your wedding day, what’s the first thing you think of? Jane: December 26, 1964. Snowy, raining and very slippery. People must have hated being out in the nasty weather. Ralph: Snow, rain, sleet. Mother Nature was not kind to us that day.

What is your spouse’s best quality? Jane: His Faith in God. Ralph: Loyalty to our relationship, children, family and friends.

What do you think is the hardest part of raising children? Jane: Patience. We had to let them make their own mistakes and be there for them if they fall. Ralph: Assisting, without interfering, their transition from adolescence to adulthood. Trusting their personal growth and values will sustain them.

What is the biggest change you’ve seen when it comes to family life over the past 50 years? Jane: First of all, the loss of morality in music, movies and television. Kids would never have been allowed to see or hear the disgusting things of today. Ralph: Single-person parenting, two working parents, advancement in electronics technology, communications, social media and general affluence. In the last half-century there have been many more than these, but those mentioned have all contributed, to some degree, to a lessening of meaningful interaction within the average family. Defining its impact is better left to others.

What was the most rewarding part of raising children? Jane: Seeing what beautiful adults they have become and the wonderful way they are raising our grandchildren. Ralph: Watching them mature and grow into who they will become as adults. Shawna Shenette Photography

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Spouses disagree, what’s your key to settling an argument? Jane: We should talk about it, but do not. I ignore him until he comes around. Ralph: A meaningful apology helps but there is no key. Each argument brings its own circumstance.

Give us yet-to-be grandparents a preview. What’s the best part of having grandchildren? Jane: All six of our grandchildren are the joys of my life. They warm my heart. I wish they were here before we had our children. Ralph: Love them, yes. At the end of the day they go home, yes. But the best part to me is witnessing the extension of myself.

BAYSTATEPARENTWEST 74 75

Enter to win a UMass Memorial Maternity Center tote bag.

Visit www.umassmemorial.org/baby.

When it comes to babies, UMass Memorial delivers. Expecting? You want — and deserve — the very best care for you and your baby. Women in Central Massachusetts know that when it comes to babies, UMass Memorial delivers. Our obstetricians and family medicine physicians at UMass Memorial Medical Center and HealthAlliance Hospital are ready to partner with you for the very best pregnancy and birthing experience. With nearly 5,000 babies born at our hospitals each year, you can be confident that we deliver. For added confidence, you have direct access to our Neonatal Intensive Care Unit in Worcester. Let UMass Memorial be your delivery destination. To learn more about your women’s health team and to make an appointment, call 1-855-UMASS-MD.

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Member Hospitals: Clinton Hospital • HealthAlliance Hospital • Marlborough Hospital • UMass Memorial Medical Center 76 FEBRUARY2015