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1

table of contents FEBRUARY 2015 VOLUME 1

1.

3

NUMBER 12

things we learned

while making

the february issue

There is no common curriculum for teaching health education in Massachusetts public schools. Currently how — and whether — sex ed is taught varies from school district to school district. A bill currently in the Legislature would ensure an accurate, age-appropriate curriculum.

Parents would have the option of opting their child out of that instruction.

Get tips for having The Talk on page 20.

Give your teen too many compliments and it could cause them to tune out. “Parents may be trying to boost their child’s confidence, but teenagers need genuine compliments or they’ll start disregarding what you’re saying,” says social worker Laura Joyce. For more strategies on showing affection to your young adult, head to page 18.

2.

3.

Newborn kittens are hypoallergenic and only at 2 months old do they start producing the skin oils that make many allergic people react.

For one area family, this fact allows them to foster kittens, despite their son’s cat allergy. Find out how families benefit from fostering animals on page 28.

features 36 37 38

RIPE: Inside Massachusetts’ Local-Grown Food Movement DISHIN’ WITH THE DIETITIAN: Revisiting The Most Maligned Vegetables RIPE BITES: Show Off Your Sweet Side This Valentine’s Day

28 30

How Fostering Pets Benefits Animals and Families

32

Oh, The Places They’ll Go: Nonprofit Puts the Power of Books into the Hands of Area Youth

39

Green Parenting: Simple, Earth-Friendly Tips for Preventing Food Waste

Beyond Binary: How Massachusetts Schools Support Gender Nonconforming Students

in every issue 6 6 7 8 9

WELCOME: A Letter from Our Editor

10 10 11 34

CIRCLE OF FRIENDS: Area Adoption Events

40 43

OUR FEBRUARY FAVORITES: Facts, Finds and Freebies

MEET OUR SPECIAL GUEST: Cover Model Sudha MEET OUR CONTRIBUTORS bsp ONLINE FINALLY FOREVER: Adoption Across Race: Key Considerations for Prospective Parents

FEBRUARY’S CHILD: Meet Abeizer OUT & ABOUT: February Calendar of Family Events LET’S GO: Indie Mountain Thrives With a Little Help From Its Friends

TAKE 8: Meet Golden Anniversary Couple Ralph & Jane Meunier

love & romance 18 19 20 22

Why Your Teen May Not Want a Hug, But They Still Want You

24 25

Building a New Family With a Same-Sex Partner

Expert Tips for Screening Your Daughter’s Dates Let’s Talk (To The Kids) About Sex One Parent at Home, Another Deployed: How Military Families Make it Work

Real Talk About Romance & Parenting: We Time, Choreplay and More

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CONSIGNMENT CORNER ADVERTISER’S DIRECTORY DANCE, GYM & ENRICHMENT, PRESCHOOL & CHILD CARE BAYSTATEPARENTWEST 4 5

meet team

welcome to

baystateparent

baystateparent

publisher KIRK DAVIS

creative editor in chief MELISSA SHAW 508-865-7070 ext. 201 editor@baystateparent.com creative director PAULA MONETTE ETHIER 508-865-7070 ext. 221 pethier@holdenlandmark.com senior graphic designer STEPHANIE MALLARD 508-865-7070 design@baystateparent.com

advertising director of sales REGINA STILLINGS 508-865-7070 ext. 210 regina@baystateparent.com western mass sales manager JESSICA O’MALLEY 413-437-4673 jessica@baystateparent.com multi-media account executive DONNA TYBURSKI 413-530-7187 donna@baystateparent.com

In Association With advertising director BETH BAKER 413-283-8393 ext. 245 bbaker@turley.com presidents KIRK and LAURIE DAVIS

photographers ASHLEY VASSALLO AIMEE HENDERSON

copy editor BRYAN ETHIER

• Over 50,000 readers • 25,000 copies distributed monthly • Find us in ALL Big Y stores PLUS 400 other locations • distribution manager TOM SIGNA 508-865-7070 ext. 112 tsigna@holdenlandmark.com

baystateparent is published monthly with a main office at 22 West Street, Millbury, MA 01527

www.baystateparent.com 6 FEBRUARY2015 7

If you don’t believe in love at first sight, you’ve obviously never been a parent.

It’s impossible to explain — or forget — that moment you see your child lifted up by the OB, yourself overwhelmed with seemingly every emotion all at once and your child ticked off and hollering about the cold and bright lights. Or, for adoptive parents, that instant you first see your child’s photo or meet him or her in person. I’ve asked adoptive parents, “How did you know your child was the one?”

Their responses are almost always the same, voices softening at the memory: “I just knew.” You may not have known your spouse was “the one” from your first interaction, but when it comes to your children, it’s an instant, unbreakable, lifelong bond.

This month, appropriately, we take a look at Love & Romance, one attribute easy to relate to parenthood and the other… well, maybe not so much. Before children, “romance” for most had a distinctly different definition. And while it does change, that doesn’t mean it ceases to exist. On page

25, Sara Pokorny talks to parents who share their thoughts on the most romantic gestures a spouse can make once the kids arrive.

The answers are so true you’ll find yourself nodding as you read or even laughing at the deed that cracked me up: choreplay.

And like our understanding of romance changes as we become parents, so does our children’s comprehension of the concept of love as they grow. A verb once reserved solely for their family later expands to boyfriends and girlfriends, producing a series of questions moms and dads may find difficult.

On page 20, Amanda Roberge comes to the aid of those who are unsure about how to have The Talk, an event of such magnitude that even that vague shorthand accurately describes the subject at hand with no further words needed. Amanda reports that there have been some changes in how that information is imparted over the years and outlines resources available to help. She also reveals a surprising fact about how the topic is taught — or not — in Massachusetts public schools.

Another tricky time may arise when your daughter starts to date. We had a fun interview with author, former British commando and body language expert Terry

Vaughan, about how moms and dads can pick up clues about their child’s potential suitor when they first meet. His advice is smart and insightful — and probably the exact opposite of your natural instincts. Read what parents should do, and not do, when a boy comes to the door on page 19.

When your children are little, hugs and kisses are in abundance, but as they grow, they might start to shy away from frequent, familiar displays of affection. But just because your teen doesn’t want a hug or kiss doesn’t mean he doesn’t need your affection.

There are other ways to show your teen you love them, Sara Pokorny writes on page 18 — find out how.

But that’s not all! We’ve got many more fascinating stories on tap, including how fostering animals benefits families; how Massachusetts schools support gender nonconforming students; how military families make parenting and relationships work across the miles, and much more!

Read on and, as always, I would love to hear your thoughts. Reach me at editor@baystateparent.com.

M e li ss a Melissa Shaw, editor

Sudha

This month's cover model is Our cover model this month is 16-year-old Sudha who shared some fun facts with us!

Who is the first person you’ll show this cover to? I will show this cover to my Mom because she is my biggest supporter and probably the only one who is more excited about this than I am.

What do you love to do in your spare time? I love lounging around and spending time with my friends. Also, I love to do DIY projects whenever I have the time.

What’s the best part about modeling? What’s the hardest?

Everything about modeling is fun. I

love seeing the pictures at the end and looking at all of the different kinds of expressions I make. The hardest part about modeling is getting started because most of the time you have no idea what you’re doing.

The most fun part of school is... is seeing all of my friends and always being able to look forward to learning something new.

What accomplishment are you looking forward to next? As of right now I am focused on doing well in school but at the same time I am looking forward to taking my acting and modeling career to the next level.

cover photo

BY

Shawna Shenette

photography

Model provided by JRP New England Corp. • Hair and makeup by Toni & Guy Hairdressing Academy

Meet Our February Contributors Sara Pokorny is a freelance writer who lives in Amherst and is a proud puppy mommy to Link and Piper. Sara has two Love & Romance stories for us this month: Real Talk About Romance & Parenting: We Time, Choreplay and More on page 25 and Why Your Teen May Not Want a Hug, But They Still Want You on page 18.

East Longmeadow writer, editor and mom Jen Bouchard looks at the rise of the local-grown food movement in Massachusetts on page 36.

Michelle Perras-Charron is a freelancer, runner, and mom to four growing boys.

A southern girl at heart, she traveled coast to coast with her Air Force spouse for the past 20 years. They have recently made Belchertown their “forever home” because they love the community, the people, and the beauty of Western Mass. On page 22 Michelle writes about a subject close to her heart: how military families juggle parenting while one spouse is deployed.

Janine Queenin lives in Westfield with her husband, two kids and a laid-back Lab-Hound mix. This month she writes about local hidden gem and volunteer-powered Blandford Ski Area on page 34.

Christina Cooper lives with her husband and 7-year-old twins in East Longmeadow, where they serve as a foster family to kittens between 1 and 2 pounds. She writes about the experience — and the benefits — on page 28.

Angie Gregory lives in Northampton with her husband and three kids, and is an avid gardener focusing on herbal medicine making. She has worked in the community fostering projects like Grow Food Northampton and started Mother Herb Diaper Service out of her home after the birth of her second child.

The business is now a cooperative venture and has relocated to Holyoke under the name Simple Diaper & Linen. This month Angie’s Green Parenting column on page 39 focuses on simple ways families can reduce food waste.

Amanda Roberge is a longtime freelance journalist and artist who lives in North Central Massachusetts with her husband and three daughters. Amanda tackles the topic Let’s Talk (To The Kids) About Sex on page 20.

Keely Savoie is a freelance writer in Northampton and mother to a fantastic 4-year-old. She has written for Bitch, Out, Curve, and many other publications.

Berkshire County resident and writer Alexandra Townsend is a lover of travel and stories. She can’t wait to hear yours!

This month she examines Building a New Family With a Same-Sex Partner on page 24.

Buon Appetito Miei Amici

T

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Hyperactivity & impulsivity get resolved at Brain Balance.

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- ELIZABETH M., PARENT

How it works: The program balances and synchronizes left brain/right brain interaction. The newly strengthened connections improve behavior, social and academic performance.

”

bsp ONLINE Multi-Media Editor Heather Kempskie (or, more accurately, your new online buddy!) has joined the baystateparent staff to bring you the latest and greatest on Facebook, Twitter and baystateparent.com. Heather is mom of two, a journalist, Girl Scout leader, Pop Warner board member, has an identical twin, and is a news junkie.

Find all this and more under our Newsmakers section at baystateparent.com. We’re searching out all the lastest news, studies and any and all interesting tidbits to make you the smartest parent at the playground!

Brain Balance addresses: ࠮ Lack of Focus ࠮ Impulsivity ࠮ Family Relationships

࠮ Academic, Social or Behavioral Issues

Cover model contest countdown!

We asked for your potential cover model cuties for our 1st birthday issue and, boy, did you deliver!

We were flooded with your entries tall and small, leaving us with a very difficult decision. This month we’ll be picking the Top 10 finalists, who will come to our office for a photo shoot. Out of the finalists, we’ll choose our March cover model. Stay tuned to baystateparent.com and @baystateparentwestmagazine on Facebook for the latest updates!

Winners galore!

You’ve got our monthly Favorites giveaway calendar on page 40, but you should also check out baystateparent.com for our always-awesome spot give-aways.

Be a part of our Facebook community @baystateparentwestmagazine In January, Ann of East Longmeadow won the oversize-basketball mug.

What could you win in February?

FREE CONSULTATION

413-737-KIDS

(5437)

brainbalancecenters.com Brain Balance Center of West Springfield 1472 Riverdale Street (same plaza as Once Upon A Child) West Springfield, MA 01089 8 FEBRUARY2015 9

Trending today: Did you know?

• Study says: Parents of three kids are way more stressed than those who have four.

• Kids are more likely to eat fruits and veggies if recess is before school lunch, according to recent research.

• Facebook launced a new Amber Alert system (this story was one of your faves!)­.

Visit us on baystateparent.com to find out!

And here’s a teaser (because we can’t help ourselves!)

Do you play basketball? We’d love to send you and your teammates (a max of 15) to the Basketball Hall of Fame….for free! Send us a pic of your team and complete this sentence: My team deserves to go to the Basketball Hall of Fame because….

Look out for the online contest @baystateparentwestmagazine for details on how to enter.

FINALLY FOREVER

Adoption Across Race: Key Considerations for

Prospective Parents

BY MELISSA SHAW

Every year new families are built or expanded through adoption. And in the case of those who are adopt from Massachusetts’s foster case system, a large percentage of those new families are transracial.

While the term technically means parents of any race adopting a child of another race, the majority of transracial adoptive parents are Caucasian, a fact that brings to the forefront questions of culture, identity and perhaps surprising considerations in these still charged and conflicted times.

Many prospective parents goodheartedly come to the idea of transracial adoption color-blind, an approach that seems fine on the surface but one adoption experts say is wrong.

“The world would be a better place if we didn’t have to deal with race and if we understood everybody’s the same, as if race didn’t exist,” says Beth Hall, co-founder of Pact, a multicultural adoption organization dedicated to addressing issues affecting adopted children of color. “We have to help educate white parents who are considering transracial adoption that race does matter and to learn how to talk about it. Because most of us didn’t grow up learning that and, in fact, we often learned it was kind of impolite to talk about it.”

The Caucasian adoptive mother of a Latina daughter and AfricanAmerican son, Hall lives the issues personally and professionally. “Many of us, especially those who are white, have not learned how to talk about race, especially across racial lines,” she adds. “We know race is a huge factor, all you have to do is look at the news for the past 6 months to understand how polarizing race is.”

Diane Tomaz, Director of Family Support Services for the Massachusetts Adoption Resource Exchange, trains and educates preadoptive parents. She agrees talking about race can be difficult, noting she sees many Caucasian adults even stumble over using the labels “black” and “white.”

“You’re not going to be able to whisper about race because your

kid’s friends won’t do that,” she says. “People always think they’re introducing the idea of race to their child, they’re popping their innocence: ‘I don’t want to talk about racism and these terrible things people may call them or say to them.’

But they really should worry that people may be saying those things to them and they have no idea what they mean or they don’t know how to respond.”

Caucasian parents must be prepared to have age-appropriate discussions with their child about everything from why their skin is a different color to how to respond to derogatory remarks, Tomaz says.

“Kids need language, and if you pretend that they don’t by having this sameness philosophy — by pretending everyone’s the same — I almost think you negate the importance of cultural differences that can be positive and great and foster cultural pride,” she says.

“Kids aren’t dumb. Teach them the language, ‘Here’s why people have melanin and here’s why some people’s skin is dark and some people’s is not.’

I think it helps them when they’re having those conversations on the playground with kids who are making comments.”

Adds Hall: “People really have to be ready to go there, to talk about race, to acknowledge that racism is real and exists.”

Another key is providing diversity — settings, churches, organizations, schools and more — where the child can be immersed in his or her culture and race and not be in the minority.

This is critical, experts say, especially if a family lives in a less-diverse area.

“If you live in a place where there are no other adults of color, you’re going to have a hard time doing that and that means your child is going to have a hard time because that means they’re going to grow up without those role models,” Hall says.

Same-race adult mentors, teachers, community members or friends are another essential element of parenting a child of a different race, experts say. As much as he may love his parents, a child needs to see

himself reflected in role models with the same color skin.

“Adult adoptees are now telling us, ‘The most important thing to me was I had an African-American teacher or coach or somebody in my life who was a successful, positive adult I could look to,’” notes Tomaz, herself a transracial parent. “It doesn’t have to be somebody they have an ongoing relationship with but that they were so impacted by seeing that this person was respected in the community, as an individual, and that was their potential, too.”

The importance of this means prospective parents need to take a look at their community’s makeup, as well as how they would provide such if their town is overwhelmingly Caucasian. Parents need to do their homework and figure out whether they’re willing to travel, or even move, to other cities or towns to find a more diverse church, school, sports league or even a barbershop so their child can be in the majority at specific times and places.

Tomaz points to one activity prospective adoptive parents undergo in mandatory pre-adoptive training and education, in which adults are given a cup and a series of colored beads representing ethnicities and races.

“We as instructors read questions aloud, such as ‘My physician is of another race,’ and whatever bead corresponds to your physician, you put in your cup. After all the statements are read you look at your cup and see just what the reality of your life is, how diverse it is. It’s really powerful,” she says. “It’s not about feeling guilty, but ‘What does my life look like now?’ ‘Am I willing to make changes or is it possible to make those changes and how would my kid feel in that world?’”

If a family doesn’t live in a naturally racially diverse area, they can seek out opportunities, she says.

“People often say things, like, ‘I would definitely look for cultural activities that exist,’ which is great, but I almost think the more organic or natural it can be, the better,” Tomaz says. “If, for example, you’re going to

put your kids through swim lessons, what about going to the Y that’s not in your town but to one that’s in a more diverse community? It’s hard for people depending on where they live. They have to seek that out. For some people it’s really challenging, they really have to go outside their comfort zone.”

Adds Hall: “If you’re going to things like that it will follow that you make connections, make friends and make that community, but first you gotta go.”

Whether it’s requesting a child get a teacher of color at school or finding out where to get her hair done, prospective transracial parents also need to realize they’re going to advocate for their children and educate themselves perhaps more than if they adopted a child of their own race.

“A lot of the families I know who have adopted have had to become more courageous about asking questions of adults of color,” Tomaz notes. “They’ll go out of their way and say, ‘Your daughter’s hair looks great, where does she get it done?’ and not be afraid or intimidated.

Most people are so happy to help people have ended up forming really good relationships with other adults in the community that way.”

As the fathers of seven adopted children between the ages of 5 and 23, Joe Sandagato and husband Tom know this well. The men are Caucasian and four of their children identify as Mexican and Caucasian, African-American and El Salvadorian, African-American and Caucasian, and Latino and Caucasian.

The couple began the adoption process in the late ’90s, a time when Joe was working for a large multinational company that was “very big on erasing race at that time,” he says. “I really was very color blind to the world, there was a bit of naiveté on that.”

As a transracial parent, he realized his view had changed. “It was not in any way shape or form detrimental to our family, but it was something I began to recognize over time as a falsity in that I sort of was

BAYSTATEPARENTWEST 8 9

acculturated to this idea that some of the race challenges didn’t exist, when they really did,” he says. “We still continue to be color blind in terms of how we look at our family, but we’re not to the way the world looks at our family or to their needs. We’ve always been very proactive to make sure they stay connected to their culture and their heritage.”

He echoes Hall and Tomaz’s assertions that there are specific keys prospective parents must take into account when considering adopting across racial lines.

“Out of the kindness of people’s hearts sometimes they don’t want to see or think about some of the issues, but the fact of the matter is you have to be very proactive in learning about and teaching about the cultures and heritages from which they descend,” Sandagato says. “You’re really trying to keep them connected to their heritage that is the foundation of it all.”

The family lives in a small Central Massachusetts town and makes it a point to go to restaurants that reflect their children’s culture or travel to large metropolitan areas.

The children also attend a regional school district, which offers a level of diversity greater than that of their tiny town.

“We spend a lot of time with the

kids traveling to Boston or New York because we’re able to allow the children to exist in multicultural dimensions,” he says. “Oftentimes I say to the kids, ‘It’s not what you say it’s what you do that matters’ and I think this is one of those instances.

It’s not talking about diversity, but demonstrating diversity that makes all the difference in the world. It’s going to demonstrate — not just say, but demonstrate — connectivity to the community and it creates a visual awareness of likeness and sameness that might not exist. A big piece of the process is incorporating all those rituals into your everyday life.”

He shares a piece of advice from his college mentor: “In order to be successful in life you really need to be able to understand the position of the other.”

“And in this case, regardless of your starting point of your own race, if you’re looking at transracial adoption you have to take some time to really think about what it’s like to be the parent of another race,” he notes.

But despite a series of considerations prospective parents may not anticipate and need to address, MARE’s Tomaz says transracial adoption continues to build new Massachusetts families.

“It’s so doable,” she adds. “I tell people all the time, it’s so possible.”

FEBRUARY’S CHILD

Abeizer Next month “Abie,” as he prefers to be called, will celebrate his birthday and become a teenager.

This young man of Hispanic descent hopes to become a police officer — specifically serving on the SWAT Team. He has a great sense of humor and plays most sports, however, he would like to try karate lessons. Abie enjoys reading, drawing, making things with his hands and playing cards. He is polite, well-mannered,

and has a strong sense of spirituality and family values.

Abie is in the eighth grade where he is doing well and earning good grades. He has expressed he would like a family that will always keep him safe. His social worker believes Abie would do best in a single- or twoparent home that will allow for a slow transition. Abie should be the only child living in the home. He would need a family that can consistently provide structure, routine, clear limits and consequences. Abie would like to maintain contact with his birth siblings who have already been adopted and other members of his birth family. He is legally free for adoption.

For more information about Abie, or the adoption process in general, please contact Department of Children and Families Adoption Supervisor Grace Kirby-Steinau at (508) 929-2033. The DCF Adoption Office in Worcester holds monthly informational meetings about the adoption process. Please call (508) 929-2143 for specific information about the next meeting.

For this month’s Circle of Friends listing of area adoption events, head to baystateparent.com.

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Our newest location in East Longmeadow provides all the child care services integral to The Arbors Kids: • Bright and welcoming home-like atmosphere • Caring and professional staff • Programs that make learning fun • Breakfast, lunch and snacks provided • Security video cameras in each classroom Plus special on-site after school programs are available including: • Martial Arts • Fit Kids • Lacrosee Skills and Drills • Soccer • Dance • Art Classes

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Chicopee 413.593.6300 10 FEBRUARY2015

East Longmeadow 413.224.1770

Springfield 413.734.6300

Photo courtesy Norman Rockwell Museum

OUT& ABOUT

There are family activities, fresh food and fun to be found at the Amherst Winter Market on Feb. 7.

11 FEBRUARY2015

Photo courtesy Springfield Museums

Photo courtesy Waldmaria PR

Photo Courtesy Amherst Winter Market

The 29th Annual Berkshire County High School Art Show will take place at the Norman Rockwell Museum on Feb. 7.

Vocalist and fiddle wizard Suz Slezak plays an all-ages album release show on Feb. 15, “Sweet Love and Lullabies.”

Meet live owls up close and personal at the Eyes on Owls program at Springfield Museums in Feb. 18.

BAYSTATEPARENTWEST 11

OUT&ABOUT MELTDOWN WARNING: Before you pack up the mini-van, please confirm your destination. Although we’ve done our best to ensure accuracy at press time, things can and do change…

Winter Wildlife Guided Trek. The Guest House at Field Farm, 554 Sloan Road, Williamstown. 1 p.m.-3 p.m. Join naturalists to explore the winter habitats of Field Farm, and afterwards stay for marshmallows toasted on a campfire. Come dressed for the weather and bring snowshoes if needed. Members free, nonmembers $5, children free. thetrustees.org.

Hampshire Young People’s Chorus.

The Eric Carle Museum, 125 West Bay Road, Amherst. 2:30 p.m.-3:30 p.m. The awardwinning Hampshire Young People’s Chorus will present two half-hour kid-friendly concerts featuring the Junior Choir and the Concert Choir, with singers ranging from ages 7 to 16. Free. carlemuseum.org.

2 Monday Drop-in Playgroup. Northampton Parents Center, 297 Main Street, Northampton. 9:30 a.m.–11:30 a.m. northamptonparentscenter.org.

Light Painting. Springfield City Library: Central Library, 220 State Street, Springfield.

3:30 p.m.-5:30 p.m. Get ready to celebrate the New Year by making your own fireworks, creating beautiful designs in the dark with flashlights, rope lighting and light-up toys, and learn how to photograph them. For ages 12 and up. Free. Register ahead. springfieldlibrary.org.

3 Tuesday

New Parents Support Group. Baystate Health Education Center, 361 Whitney Avenue, Holyoke. 5 p.m. Designed for new parents and babies up to one year, the group meets to discuss and provide mutual support and encouragement. Runs every Tuesday. Free.

Register ahead. (413) 794-2229.

Parents of Toddlers Support Group.

Baystate Health Education Center, 361 Whitney Avenue, Holyoke. 6 p.m.

This group meets in a fun, child-friendly environment and is open to all parents of toddlers who are interested in discussing potty training, setting limits, temper tantrums, new sibling adjustment and more. Runs every Tuesday. Free. Register ahead. (413) 794-2229.

Photo courtesy The Eric Carle Museum

1 Sunday

Dr. Who Obsession Club. Hubbard Memorial Library, 24 Center Street, Ludlow.

6 p.m.-8 p.m. Gather with fellow Whovians to discuss, dissect, make Whoish crafts, and meet likeminded young adults. For middle school children and up. Free. hubbardlibrary.org.

Berkshire Ukulele Band. Berkshire South, 15 Crissey Road, Great Barrington.

6:30 p.m.-8 p.m. Multi-instrumentalist, teacher and performer Rob Sanzone will teach ukulele technique, chord progressions and songs from many musical genres. A limited number of ukuleles will be available for loan to participants who do not have an instrument. Free. berkshiresouth.org.

4 Wednesday

Celebrate friendship and reading with Elephant, Piggie and a host of other Museum friends at The Eric Carle Museum on Feb. 7.

5 Thursday Drop-in Playgroup. Northampton Parents Center, 297 Main Street, Northampton. 9:30 a.m.–11:30 a.m. northamptonparentscenter.org.

Drop-in Playgroup. Northampton Parents Center, 297 Main Street, Northampton. 9:30 a.m.–11:30 a.m. northamptonparentscenter.org.

Drop-in Playgroup. United Church of Ware, 49 Church Street, Ware. 9:30 a.m.-11:30 a.m.

The Ware Family Center provides play space and snacks. For newborns to age 5. Free. warefamilycenter.org.

Drop-in Playgroup. United Church of Ware, 49 Church Street, Ware. 9:30 a.m.-11:30 a.m. The Ware Family Center provides play space and snacks. For newborns to age 5. Free. warefamilycenter.org.

Drop-in Playgroup. Cummington Community House, 33 Main Street, Cummington. 9:30 a.m.-11:30 a.m. Children can participate in art activities, stories, songs, and play together. For newborns to age 5. cummingtonfamilycenter.org.

“42”. Springfield City Library: Forest Park, 380 Belmont Avenue, Springfield. 11 a.m.1 p.m. Join us in the community room for this matinee showing of the Jackie Robinson biopic starring Chadwick Boseman. Free. springfieldlibrary.org.

New Parents Support Group.

Greenwood Center, 231 Maple Road, Longmeadow. 10 a.m. Designed for new parents and babies up to one year, the group meets to discuss and provide mutual support and encouragement. Runs every Thursday. Free.

Register ahead. (413) 794-2229.

Drop-in Playgroup. United Church of Ware, 49 Church Street, Ware. 9:30 a.m.11:30 a.m. The Ware Family Center provides play space and snacks. For newborns to age 5. Free. warefamilycenter.org.

Drop-in Playgroup. Northampton Parents Center, 297 Main Street, Northampton. 9:30 a.m.–11:30 a.m. northamptonparentscenter.org.

Rockwell’s 110th Birthday. Norman Rockwell Museum, 9 Route 183, Stockbridge. 1:30 p.m.-2:30 p.m. Celebrate Norman Rockwell’s 121th birthday with Curator of Educator Tom Daly. Birthday cake will follow! Free with Museum admission. Members free, adults $17.50, youth 6 to 18 $5, children under 5 free. nrm.org.

12 FEBRUARY2015 13

Postpartum Group. Midwifery Care Center, 230 Maple Street, Holyoke. 1 p.m.-2:30 p.m. Join mothers for a free, safe, confidential drop-in support group for mothers of infants and babies up to one year old. Expectant mothers and mothers in recovery welcome. Wednesdays.

Free. (413) 536-7385.

Kid’s Chess. Mason Library, 231 Main Street, Great Barrington. 3:30 p.m.-5 p.m. Open chess time to meet others who enjoy playing, in a relaxed and supportive atmosphere, with light snacks and chess boards provided. Suggested for youth in grades 1 to 6. Free. gblibraries.org.

Arts Winter. Springfield City Library: Mason Square, 765 State Street, Springfield. 4 p.m.-5 p.m. Use Q-tips as brushes as we create “Seurat”-like snowmen and winter scenes; you’ll make an impression with this artwork. Free. springfieldlibrary.org.

Game Night. 2 Flights Up, 399 Main Street, Dalton. 6 p.m.-10 p.m. There will be table top games, board games, card games, and people to teach them! You are welcome to bring a long your game and teach it to others. Free.

2flightsup.com.

Art Expressions for Kids. Chicopee Public Library, 449 Front Street, Chicopee. 6:30 p.m.7:30 p.m. Show off your artistic abilities with this library-provided craft project. For children ages 5 and up. Free. chicopeepubliclibrary.org.

Tuck-Me-In Storytime. Hubbard Memorial Library, 24 Center Street, Ludlow. 7 p.m.

Join us for a half-hour bedtime-themed storytime. Children are encouraged to come in their pajamas. Suggested for ages 3 to 7. Register ahead. Free. hubbardlibrary.org.

6 Friday Drop-in Playgroup. Cummington Community House, 33 Main Street, Cummington.

9:30 a.m.-11:30 a.m. Children can participate in art activities, stories, songs, and play together. For children up to age 5. cummingtonfamilycenter.org.

Getting Real About Motherhood. UMass Amherst Family Center, 1200 N. Pleasant Street, Amherst. 9:45 a.m.-11:15 a.m. Community, diversity, self-discovery. Share laughter and tears. Be inspired. It’s all here. For expectant mothers, to mothers of pre-schoolers. Childcare up to age 5. Fridays. Free. (413) 256-1145.

7 Saturday Sibling Preparation Class: Youths. Wesson Women and Infants’ Unit, North Administrative Conference Room, 759 Chestnut Street, Springfield. 9 a.m.-10 a.m. This class prepares children for the arrival of a new brother or sister. Designed for expectant siblings ages 3 to 4. $15. Register ahead. (413) 794-2229.

Photo courtesy Mass Mutual Center

Photo courtesy The Eric Carle Museum

OUT&ABOUT

Will this finally be The Washington Generals’s chance to win? Find out as they take on the iconic Harlem Globetrotters at the MassMutual Center Feb. 18-19.

Sledding at Hollow Fields. Hollow Fields Reserve, Perry’s Peak Road, Richmond.

10 a.m.-1 p.m. The Berkshire Natural Resources Council invites you to bring a sled, lots of warm clothes and your friends to a fun sledding session! If you don’t feel like sledding, take a walk to the top of the fields for gorgeous views of Yokun Ridge. Free. bnrc.net.

Amherst Winter Market. Amherst Regional Middle School, 170 Chestnut Street, Amherst. 10 a.m.-2 p.m. Come join this vibrant community of farmers, food artisans, and craftspeople offering the finest of locally produced goods in the region. Free. amherstwintermarket.com.

First Book Friendiversary. The Eric Carle Museum, 125 West Bay Road, Amherst.

10 a.m.-4 p.m. Bring a friend and join us as we celebrate books with Elephant, Piggie and a host of other Museum friends for this first of an annual celebration of friendship and reading, as you make crafts, watch films, share storytime, and meet Elephant and Piggie. Free. carlemuseum.org.

Materials Play for Toddlers. The Eric Carle Museum, 125 West Bay Road, Amherst. 10 a.m.-10:30 a.m. Have fun experimenting with materials selected especially for your young explorer and stay for storytime in the Reading Library at 10:30. Free with admission. Adults $9, youth under 19 $6. carlemuseum.org.

Meet Rockwell’s Models. Norman Rockwell Museum, 9 Route 183, Stockbridge.

2:30 p.m.-3 p.m. Find out what it was like to pose for America’s favorite illustrator from Rockwell’s own models. Free with admission.

Members free, adults $17.50, youth 6 to 18 $5, children 5 and under free. nrm.org.

Parents of Toddlers Support Group.

Greenwood Center, 231 Maple Road, Londmeadow. 10 a.m. This group meets in a fun, child-friendly environment and is open to all parents of toddlers who are interested in discussing potty training, setting limits, temper tantrums, new sibling adjustment and more.

Runs every Friday. Free. Register ahead.

(413) 794-2229.

Sibling Preparation Class: Youths. Wesson Women and Infants’ Unit, North Administrative Conference Room, 759 Chestnut Street, Springfield. 6 p.m.-7 p.m. This class prepares children for the arrival of a new brother or sister. Designed for expectant siblings ages 8 to 12. $15. Register ahead. (413) 794-2229.

WeeMuse: Art Lab. Berkshire Museum, 39 South Street, Pittsfield. 10:30 a.m.11:30 a.m. Using the Museum as our inspiration, we will be exploring different art forms and mediums in these monthly sessions.

For ages 2 to 5 with an adult. Reserve ahead.

Free with admission. Members free, adults $13, youth 3 to 17 $6, children under 3 free. berkshiremuseum.org.

Stars Over Springfield. Springfield Science Museum, 21 Edwards Street, Springfield.

7:30 p.m. Join members of the Springfield Stars Club for skygazing in the Science Museum’s observatory. If overcast, a planetarium show will be presented. Adults $3, children $2. springfieldmuseums.org.

The Fox: Puppetry Workshop. Jones Library, 43 Amity Street, Amherst. 10:30 a.m.

Puppeteer Debbi Friedlander will conduct a puppetry workshop for children in kindergarten through second grade based on the tale “The Fox Went Out on a Chilly Night.” For children age 5 to 8. Free. joneslibrary.org.

Ladysmith Black Mambazo. Mahaiwe Performing Arts Center, 14 Castle Street, Great Barrington. 8 p.m.-10 p.m. Described by Nelson Mandela as “South Africa’s cultural ambassadors”, artists Ladysmith Black Mambazo have warmed the hearts of audiences for more than 50 years with their uplifting vocal harmonies, infectious rhythm, and flamboyant dance moves. Tickets range from $35 to $45. mahaiwe.org.

Valentine’s Day Crafts. Mason Library, 231 Main Street, Great Barrington.

1 p.m.-2:30 p.m. Drop in any time to make multiple crafts for Valentine’s Day. Recommended for pre-school and up with adult. Free. gblibraries.org.

New Parents Gallery Talk. The Clark Art Institute, 225 South Street, Williamstown.

10:15 a.m.-11:15 a.m. The Clark warmly welcomes new parents and their infants into the galleries for an informal guided gallery talk. This program is designed to give parents a cognitive break from thinking about “all things baby.” Best suited for parents with pre-toddlers.

Members free, general admission $20, youth under 18 free. clarkart.edu.

Music & Movement. Chicopee Public Library, 449 Front Street, Chicopee. 10:30 a.m.11:30 a.m. Bring your child to sing and dance to music amongst their peers. For ages 5 and under. Free. chicopeepubliclibrary.org.

29th Annual Berkshire County High School Art Show. Norman Rockwell Museum, 9 Route 183, Stockbridge. 2 p.m.-4 p.m.

Discover the region’s talented young artists with this diverse exhibition guaranteed to please the entire family. Free with admission. Members free, adults $17.50, youth 6 to 18 $5, children 5 and under free. nrm.org.

30th Annual High School Honor Band.

UMass Fine Arts Center Concert Hall, 151 Presidents Drive, Amherst. 7 p.m. This special event will feature 250 musicians from 50 high schools across seven different states.

Free. umass.edu.

8 Sunday Victorian Valentine’s Day Workshop.

Wistariahurst Museum, 238 Cabot Street, Holyoke. 1 p.m.-3 p.m. Participate in a fun and creative program that will inspire the artist in everyone! Create your own beautiful, unique card for special friends, family and sweethearts.

Members $5, nonmembers $7. wistariahurst.org.

9 Monday Drop-in Playgroup. Northampton Parents Center, 297 Main Street, Northampton. 9:30 a.m.–11:30 a.m. northamptonparentscenter.org.

Teen Cosplay Party. Springfield City Library: Central Library, 220 State Street, Springfield.

4 p.m.-6 p.m. Anime and comics fans, join us at our Cosplay Party dressed as your favorite character or create your own. We’ll have prizes, play games on the Wii and make some snacks.

Free. springfieldlibrary.org.

10 Tuesday Drop-in Playgroup. Northampton Parents Center, 297 Main Street, Northampton. 9:30 a.m.–11:30 a.m. northamptonparentscenter.org.

Drop-in Playgroup. United Church of Ware, 49 Church Street, Ware. 9:30 a.m.11:30 a.m. The Ware Family Center provides play space and snacks. For newborns to age 5.

Free. warefamilycenter.org.

Indoor Snowball Party. Hubbard Memorial Library, 24 Center Street, Ludlow. 6 p.m.

Enjoy winter games, including a Marshmallow Snowball Toss, Snowball Pickup, Snowball Volley, and Snowballs On A Spoon, all while sipping hot chocolate and sampling snowball treats. Register ahead. Free. hubbardlibrary.org.

11 Wednesday Drop-in Playgroup. Northampton Parents Center, 297 Main Street,

For more events, visit baystateparent.com BAYSTATEPARENTWEST 12 13

OUT&ABOUT Northampton. 9:30 a.m.–11:30 a.m. northamptonparentscenter.org.

Drop-in Playgroup. Cummington Community House, 33 Main Street, Cummington.

9:30 a.m.-11:30 a.m. Children can participate in art activities, stories, songs, and play together. For children up to age 5. cummingtonfamilycenter.org.

Parent/Child STEM Session. Berkshire Museum, 39 South Street, Pittsfield.

10:30 a.m.-11 a.m. Come explore the world of Science, Technology, Engineering, and Math (STEM) with your child, in this specially designed program for parents and their children. For children ages 2 to 4. Free. Register ahead. berkshiremuseum.org.

Keeping Baby Safe. 361 Whitney Avenue, 1st Floor, BRL Conference Room, Holyoke.

6 p.m.-9 p.m. This class teaches basic life support, infant CPR, first aid for choking, poison prevention, baby-proofing your home, and car seat safety. $35 per couple. Register ahead.

(413) 794-2229.

Drop-in Playgroup. Northampton Parents Center, 297 Main Street, Northampton. 9:30 a.m.–11:30 a.m. northamptonparentscenter.org.

Drop-in Playgroup. United Church of Ware, 49 Church Street, Ware. 9:30 a.m.11:30 a.m. The Ware Family Center provides play space and snacks. For newborns to age 5.

Free. warefamilycenter.org.

Live Birds of Prey. D’Amour Museum of Fine Arts, 21 Edwards Street, Springfield.

12:15 p.m. Come as we learn about the history of these magnificent birds of prey, with

“portraits and faces.” Suggested for ages 3 to 6 with adult. Members free, adults $20, youth under 18 free. clarkart.edu.

Valentine Mail Bag. Springfield City Library: Mason Square, 765 State Street, Springfield.

4 p.m.-5 p.m. Come join us on a cozy Thursday afternoon to create a fancy Valentine for someone special. Free. springfieldlibrary.org.

I  Art. The Clark Art Institute, 225 South Street, Williamstown. 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Visit the galleries and vote for your favorite works in the collection. We’ll tally the votes and announce the Valentine’s Day favorite. Members free, general admission $20, youth under 18 free. clarkart.edu.

13 Friday

Drop-in Playgroup. United Church of Ware, 49 Church Street, Ware. 9:30 a.m.11:30 a.m. The Ware Family Center provides play space and snacks. For newborns to age 5.

Free. warefamilycenter.org.

12 Thursday

demonstrations of unique behaviors proved to inspire children of all ages. Members $2, nonmembers $4. springfieldmuseums.org.

Drop-in Playgroup. Cummington Community House, 33 Main Street, Cummington.

9:30 a.m.-11:30 a.m. Children can participate in art activities, stories, songs, and play together. For children up to age 5. cummingtonfamilycenter.org.

Second Friday Free. Smith College Museum of Art, 20 Elm Street, Northampton. 4 p.m.6 p.m. Hands-on art-making for ages 4+ with adult (while supplies last) 6 p.m.: Open Eyes, an informal, guided conversation about an art object. smith.edu/artmuseum/

14 Saturday Winter Farmers Market. Monument Valley Regional Middle School, 313 Monument Valley Road, Great Barrington. 10 a.m.-2 p.m.

This event features locally grown and produced foods and gifts, plus live music, lunch fare, and activities for children. Free. 413-644-2300.

Snowshoe Shenanigans. Notchview, Route 9, Windsor. 10 a.m.-12:30 p.m. Bring the ones you love and enjoy a snowshoe race and winter celebration. Try the Adult 1K, three-person relay race, and/or Kid’s Obstacle Course, all on snowshoes! Also enjoy hot cider, snacks and a bonfire. Members: $10, families $25; nonmembers: $15, families $35. thetrustees.org.

Start with Art. The Clark Art Institute, 255 South Street, Williamstown.

10 a.m.-12 p.m. Get your preschoolers off to a good start with this themed talk, gallery guides, and art-making activities covering the theme of

Valentine’s Day Tea. The Clark Art Institute, 225 South Street, Williamstown. 11:30 a.m.12:30 p.m. Join us for a very special Valentine’s Day tea, featuring elegant tea sandwiches and special Valentine’s sweets. Children are welcome and are encouraged to dress festively for the occasion. Adults $24, children $12. Reserve ahead. (413) 458-0524.

To Art, with Love. Norman Rockwell Museum, 9 Route 183, Stockbridge. 1 p.m.4 p.m. Create a beautiful “art card” for someone special during this heartwarming afternoon filled with music, readings, tours, and delicious Valentine’s treats. Free with Museum admission. Members free, adults $17.50, youth 6 to 18 $5, children 5 and under free. nrm.org.

Tea Time with Madeline. The Eric Carle Museum, 125 West Bay Road, Amherst.

1:30 p.m.-3 p.m. Enjoy an afternoon of tea and cookies in The Carle Café! Families will enjoy cookies, make a Madeline-inspired art project, and meet Madeline herself. Members $5, adults $12, youths $10. Reserve ahead. carlemuseum.org.

15 Sunday Winter Fest. Downtown North Adams, 100 Main Street, North Adams. 10 a.m.4 p.m. North Adams has a great way to shake those winter blues! Head downtown for hot chocolate, a chowder competition, ice sculpting, horse-drawn wagon rides, and roasted marshmallows at a community campfire. Free. explorenorthadams.com.

The Family Sculpture Workshop. The Eric Carle Museum, 125 West Bay Road, Amherst. 10:30 a.m.-12:30 p.m. Have fun working on open-ended sculpture projects together! We’ll discuss the basics of building with paper, wood and mixed media and spark your 3D imagination with ideas from our favorite picture books. For ages 6 and up with parent. $25 per duo or trio. Register ahead. carlemuseum.org.

Winter Wonderland Day. The Clark Art Institute, 225 South Street, Williamstown.

12 p.m.-4 p.m. Spend an afternoon outside enjoying the new campus, finishing with hot chocolate and s’mores by the campfire. If there is snow, feel free to bring a sled or cross country skis, make a snowman or snow cabin.

Members free, adults $20, youth under 18 free. clarkart.edu.

Madeline Weekend Celebration. The Eric Carle Museum, 125 West Bay Road, Amherst. 12 p.m.-4 p.m. Come and visit the special exhibition “Madeline at 75: The Art of Ludwig Bemelmans”, as well as gallery searches and films. Story readings and art projects take place throughout the day, and children will have a chance to meet Madeline!

Free with admission. Members free, adults $9, youths under 19 $6. carlemuseum.org.

“Sweet Love and Lullabies” All Ages Album Release Show. The Parlor Room, 32 Masonic St., Northampton. 2 p.m.

Vocalist and fiddle wizard Suz Slezak performs in support of her debut solo album, “Watching the Nighttime Come.” Tickets $10$12. parlorroommusic.com.

Children at Birth Class. Wesson Women and Infants’ Unit, North Administrative Conference Room, 759 Chestnut Street, Springfield. 6:30 p.m.-8:30 p.m. This class is aimed at children whose parents want them present at the birth of a sibling, including a live birth video and material written for a child’s understanding. $15.

Register ahead. (413) 794-2229.

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OUT&ABOUT

16 Monday Grandmother Spider. Berkshire Museum, 39 South Street, Pittsfield. 1:30 p.m.2:45 p.m. The Berkshire Music School presents this delightful and suspenseful Cherokee creation story about the origin of light, incorporating modern music in a unique original piece for the entire family. Members: adults $5, children $3; nonmembers: adults $15, children $8, children 3 and under free. berkshiremuseum.org.

The Birth Circle. Treehouse, 305 North Street, Pittsfield. 6 p.m.-8 p.m. The Birth Circle is a drop-in support group which provides a safe space for mothers and their support system to explore the different aspects of pregnancy, birth and postpartum. Free. motherwoman.org.

17 Tuesday Drop-in Playgroup. United Church of Ware, 49 Church Street, Ware. 9:30 a.m.-11:30 a.m. The Ware Family Center provides play space and snacks. For newborns to age 5. Free. warefamilycenter.org.

Animals Up Close: The Wolf. Berkshire Museum, 39 South Street, Pittsfield. 1 p.m.2 p.m. This program will include an aweinspiring, up-close encounter with the important but misunderstood predator, the wolf, covering the animal’s history and participation in a healthy ecosystem. Members: adults $5, children $3; nonmembers: adults $15, children $8, children 3 and under free. berkshiremuseum.org.

18 Wednesday Drop-in Playgroup. Cummington Community House, 33 Main Street, Cummington.

9:30 a.m.-11:30 a.m. Children can participate in art activities, stories, songs, and play together. For children up to age 5. cummingtonfamilycenter.org.

Drop-in Playgroup. United Church of Ware, 49 Church Street, Ware. 9:30 a.m.11:30 a.m. The Ware Family Center provides play space and snacks. For newborns to age 5.

Free. warefamilycenter.org.

Eyes on Owls. Springfield Museums, D’Amour Museum of Fine Arts, 21 Edwards Street, Springfield. 11 a.m., 1 p.m. & 3 p.m. Learn about the owls of New England and beyond.

Discover the field marks, signs and meet six live owls (from small to huge) up close. Everyone participates in a hooting lesson and learns tips on how to attract and protect owls near you. Free with museum admission. Adults $18, children 3-17 $9.50, children 2 and under – free. springfieldmuseums.org.

Strange Love in Outer Space. The Eric Carle Museum, 125 West Bay Road, Amherst. 1 p.m. & 3 p.m. The Pioneer Valley Performing Arts High School presents this production featuring one-armed, four-eyed alien princes, a four-milelong mad-scientist woman, a blue merman and a pirate. Members $5.50, general admission $6.

Reserve ahead. carlemuseum.org.

Lego Stop Motion. Chicopee Public Library, 449 Front Street, Chicopee. 2:30 p.m.4:30 p.m. Make a short stop-motion video with Legos. For children ages 6 and up. Register ahead. chicopeepubliclibrary.org.

The Harlem Globetrotters. MassMutual Center, 1277 Main Street, Springfield. 7 p.m.

Also Feb. 18. The iconic Harlem Globetrotters are coming to town with their unrivaled family show, featuring some of the greatest athletes on the planet. Prices start at $27. massmutualcenter.com

19 Thursday Drop-in Playgroup. United Church of Ware, 49 Church Street, Ware. 9:30 a.m.-11:30 a.m. The Ware Family Center provides play space and snacks. For newborns to age 5. Free. warefamilycenter.org.

Chinese New Year Dragon Craft. Hubbard Memorial Library, 24 Center Street, Ludlow.

10 a.m.-1 p.m. Celebrate the Chinese New Year by dropping in to make a colorful, fabulous, moveable dragon, just like one you might see in a Chinese New Year parade. Free. hubbardlibrary.org.

“National Treasure.” Jones Library, 43 Amity Street, Amherst. 2 p.m. Come during February Vacation to watch this family favorite movie starring Nicholas Cage and Jon Voight. Recommended for ages 7 to 12. Free. joneslibrary.org.

Magical Moments with Ed Popielarczyk.

Chicopee Public Library, 449 Front Street, Chicopee. 2 p.m.-3 p.m. Come join this magic show ensured to please all members of the family. Free. chicopeepubliclibrary.org.

34th Annual Jazz Showcase. UMass Bowker Auditorium, 100 Holdsworth Way, Amherst.

7:30 p.m. This annual event with feature the music of 1969, including Jazz classics, pop & beyond from Mason Williams, Joni Mitchell, Thad Jones, Frank Sinatra, Buddy Rich, and more. Adults $10, children $5. umass.edu.

20 Friday Drop-in Playgroup. Cummington Community House, 33 Main Street, Cummington. 9:30 a.m.-11:30 a.m.

Children can participate in art activities, stories, songs, and play together. For children up to age 5. cummingtonfamilycenter.org.

Music & Movement. Chicopee Public Library, 449 Front St., Chicopee. 10:30 a.m.-11:30 a.m. Bring your child to sing and dance to music amongst their peers. For ages 5 and under.

Free. chicopeepubliclibrary.org.

African Print Photo Frame Craft. Springfield City Library: East Forest Park, 122 Island Pond Road, Springfield. 2 p.m.-4:30 p.m. Celebrate Black History Month by using decoupage and African print fabrics to make your own photo frame. Free. springfieldlibrary.org.

22 Sunday Ski and Snowshoe Trek. The Guest House at Field Farm, 554 Sloan Road, Williamstown.

1 p.m.-3 p.m. Bring your cross-country skis and-or snowshoes for a group excursion around Field Farm’s fields and woodlands of gentle terrain, followed by hot chocolate and marshmallows. Members free, nonmembers $5, children free. thetrustees.org/field-farm.

Special Sundays in the Studio. The Eric Carle Museum, 125 West Bay Road, Amherst. 1 p.m.4 p.m. Enjoy a specially constructed afternoon of craft fun. Free with admission. Adults $9, youths under 19 $6. carlemuseum.org.

21 Saturday

23 Monday

Tracking and Animal Signs. Arcadia Wildlife Sanctuary, 127 Combs Road, Northampton.

10 a.m.-11:30 a.m. Tracking is more than simply finding a trail and following it, and prints aren’t always necessary to track an animal.

The forest is full of signs that tell us about the wildlife within. Learn to read the tracks and signs left by animals. Suitable for children ages 5 to 12. Members $5, nonmembers $7. Register ahead. massaudubon.org.

Drop-in Playgroup. Northampton Parents Center, 297 Main Street, Northampton. 9:30 a.m.–11:30 a.m. northamptonparentscenter.org.

First Child in the Woods. Arcadia Wildlife Sanctuary, 127 Combs Road, Northampton.

10 a.m.-11 a.m. It is never too early to start to appreciate the wonders of nature! Here is your opportunity to explore the nature and beauty of Arcadia with your youngster each month, while meeting other parents and caregivers. For newborns to age 5. Members $5, nonmembers $7. Register ahead. Massaudubon.org.

All-Day Game Day. 2 Flights Up, 399 Main Street, Dalton. 11 a.m.-10 p.m. Allday tabletop game day. There will be board games, card games, and people to teach them!

Admission $5. 2flightsup.com.

Dad and Me: A Father-Child Playgroup.

Mason Library, 231 Main Street, Great Barrington. 11:30 a.m.-12:30 p.m. Dads can bring the kids for a story-time and playgroup session, with coffee, donuts, and juice provided.

Free. gblibraries.org.

Celebrate Maslenitsa. Westfield Athenaeum, 6 Elm Street, Westfield. 1 p.m.-4 p.m. Join us as we celebrate this Russian event, with sampling of traditional food, traditional folk music performed by local students, and dancing.

Free. westath.org.

Five College Choral Festival. John M. Greene Hall, 70 Massachusetts Route 9, Northampton. 7:30 p.m. Choirs of UMass Amherst, and Smith, Mount Holyoke, Amherst and Hampshire colleges performs, including a combined choral performance of Eric Sawyer’s Concord Hymn. Free. umass.edu.

24 Tuesday Drop-in Playgroup. Northampton Parents Center, 297 Main Street, Northampton. 9:30 a.m.–11:30 a.m. northamptonparentscenter.org.

Drop-in Playgroup. United Church of Ware, 49 Church Street, Ware. 9:30 a.m.11:30 a.m. The Ware Family Center provides play space and snacks. For newborns to age 5.

Free. warefamilycenter.org.

Grupo Corpo. Fine Arts Center Concert Hall, 151 Presidents Drive, Amherst. 7:30 p.m.

This electrifying Brazilian contemporary dance company combines the sensuality of AfroBrazilian dance forms, the liquid swing of jazz, and the technical prowess of ballet, with energy to burn. General $15-$48, youth 17 and under $10-$15. fac.umass.edu.

25 Wednesday Drop-in Playgroup. Northampton Parents Center, 297 Main Street, Northampton. 9:30 a.m.–11:30 a.m. northamptonparentscenter.org.

Drop-in Playgroup. Cummington Community House, 33 Main Street, Cummington.

9:30 a.m.-11:30 a.m. Children can participate in art activities, stories, songs, and play together. For children up to age 5. cummingtonfamilycenter.org.

Drop-in Playgroup. United Church of Ware, 49 Church Street, Ware. 9:30 a.m.-11:30 a.m. The Ware Family Center provides play space and snacks. For newborns to age 5. Free. warefamilycenter.org.

BAYSTATEPARENTWEST 14 15

OUT&ABOUT Parent/Child STEM Session. Berkshire Museum, 39 South Street, Pittsfield.

10:30 a.m.-11 a.m. Come explore the world of Science, Technology, Engineering, and Math (STEM) with your child, in this specially designed program for parents and their children. For children ages 2 to 4. Free.

Register ahead. berkshiremuseum.org.

Nautical Nonsense. Springfield City Library: Central Library, 220 State Street, Springfield. 1:30 p.m.-2:30

p.m. Come celebrate Spongebob Squarepants, Patrick Star, and all your friends from Bikini Bottom, as we make our very own Spongebob, play games, and enjoy a snack. For ages 5 to 10. Free. springfieldlibrary.org.

American Girl Tea Party. Jones Library, 43 Amity Street, Amherst. 3:30 p.m.-5 p.m. Bring your favorite doll and make a craft. For ages 4 to 9. Signup ahead. Free. joneslibrary.org.

Minecraft Building Challenge. Chicopee

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Public Library, 449 Front Street, Chicopee.

3:30 p.m.-4:45 p.m. Join us for this one-hour building challenge in this popular sandbox game. For ages 9 to 12. chicopeepubliclibrary.org.

26 Thursday Drop-in Playgroup. Northampton Parents Center, 297 Main Street, Northampton. 9:30 a.m.–11:30 a.m. northamptonparentscenter.org.

Drop-in Playgroup. United Church of Ware, 49 Church Street, Ware. 9:30 a.m.11:30 a.m. The Ware Family Center provides play space and snacks. For newborns to age 5. Free. warefamilycenter.org.

27 Friday Drop-in Playgroup. Cummington Community House, 33 Main Street, Cummington. 9:30 a.m.-11:30 a.m. Children can participate in art activities, stories, songs, and play together. For children up to age 5. cummingtonfamilycenter.org.

For more events, visit baystateparent.com

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28 Saturday Kitchen Ka-Boom. Berkshire Museum, 39 South Stret, Pittsfield. 11 a.m. Pretend to be a mad scientist performing thrilling – and fun – science experiments! Join our science educators for a morning of fun and wacky experiments.

Designed for grades kindergarten through fifth.

Free with admission. Members free, adults $13, youth ages 3 to 17 $6, children under 3 free. berkshiremuseum.org.

Family Fun Night. Northampton Parent Center, 297 Main Street, Lower Level, Northampton. 4 p.m.-7 p.m. Optional potluck supper, playgroup, arts and crafts, story time, and family-friendly entertainment. Free. northamptonparetnscenter.org.

For more events, visit baystateparent.com

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d n a e e c v n LoRoma Your 18 Why Teen May

Not Want a Hug, But They Still Want You

Tips 19 Expert for Screening Your Daughter’s Dates

Talk 20 Let’s (To The Kids) About Sex

Saturday, February 21, 2015 AMELIA PARK CHILDREN’S MUSEUM at 6:30PM A rousing celebration of Winter with Father Frost and his Winter Court!

Join Father Frost, Jack Frost, the Princesses and Snow Flurries for some frozen family fun around a roaring Snowfire. Featuring a special performance by the Westfield High School Choir under the direction of Korey Bruno with musical selections from Frozen.

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LOVE & ROMANCE

But They Still Want You

Why Your Teen May Not Want a Hug, Other Ways to Show Affection to Your Teenager

BY SARA POKORNY

G

one are the days of warm snuggles and cute kisses — suddenly your "little one" is all grown up, a teenager who wants nothing to do with you, or so it seems.

Finding ways to show affection to your son or daughter at that age is certainly no walk in the park, but it is possible to do so, establishing a connection that will work towards not only a better relationship, but also a better future for them.

Laura Joyce, LICSW at Simplified Life Therapy in Boston, knows all too well the struggle parents go through with teenagers. Not only does she deal with it on a daily basis through her practice, but she also has a 15-year-old foster child with whom she is currently navigating such tricky waters.

18 FEBRUARY2015 19

Forging a line of affection to your teenager starts with simply understanding where they're coming from; after all, teenage years are quite far in the past for most parents and they may forget what it was like.

It's a time when puberty is creeping in and besides the physical changes, there's a sense of independence that strikes, a need to assert individuality, though they still know they have to rely on family for things. This line of thought is highlighted in a book Joyce mentioned as a guide to raising teenagers, Get Out of My Life, but First Could You Drive Me and Cheryl to the Mall? by Anthony Wolf.

"There's a lot of push and pull," Joyce said. "Their brains are still developing and they don't stop developing until they're 26, so they still need affection and care, but at the same time they're hitting puberty and wanting to develop their own identity separate from the family unit."

For starters, don't worry too much about any negativity that may spew from the mouth of your teenager; don’t let it hamper your efforts at a connection.

“There will be some kind of blowout: ‘I don’t like you,’ ‘I hate you,’ and it’s tough for parents to hear that,” Joyce said, “but they don’t actually mean that. That’s them saying, ‘I need my space,’ and ‘I’m learning to be who I am on my own.’”

Take note of what Joyce refers to as your child’s “love language,” the type of affection to which they most respond. Pioneered by author, marriage counselor and syndicated radio host Gary Chapman (5lovelanguages.com), such displays of affection may fall under categories like “Words of Affirmation,” “Quality Time” or “Physical Touch.”

“Knowing your teenager’s love

language will give you a better sense of how to go about things. They may percieve physical affection as love and care, or maybe just saying nice things as a way to show love.”

Complimenting a child is a common way to connect with them, acknowledging their efforts and successes. However, parents shouldn’t get too carried away.

“I hear a lot of parents telling their kids everything they do is good,” Joyce said. “‘It’s good you got up today,’ ‘I’m proud you ate a good breakfast,’ ‘I’m glad you did this, I’m glad you did that.’ At this point, teenagers see through things like that. Parents may be trying to boost their child’s confidence, but teenagers need genuine compliments or they’ll start disregarding what you’re saying.”

Another key: Strive to build a connection with your child away from the eyes of others.

“In front of friends or siblings is not the best time,” Joyce said. “Time driving in the car or right before bed — quiet times — are when you can have more meaningful talks.”

At a time in which teenagers are attempting to be more grown up, it’s a good idea to treat them as adults to a certain extent. This can be as simple as taking them out for coffee or to get their nails done. Joyce said it’s in these situations that parents are more likely to connect with their child, because the child feels like what they’re doing is cool.

Technology is a huge part of children’s worlds today and also a great way to connect with your child. This doesn’t mean you have to start sending your child messages on Facebook (an act that may be frowned upon), but rather examine how tech can benefit your relationship in other ways.

“One of the things I’ll do sometimes is send a $5 Dunkin gift card via his phone, with a message like, ‘Hey, great job at hockey today!’’ Joyce

said. “It’s a random way to show appreciation, and from afar.”

Through everything, the rebuffed affection, the I-can’t-stand-yous and the looks of annoyance, Joyce said the most important thing is to not ignore or write it off; simply showing up, being there and making an effort will go a long way, even if you may feel like it isn’t.

“If you’re not connecting with your child that’s when you’re going to run into problems, because they’ll start looking for connections elsewhere,” Joyce said. “Oftentimes they look to peers, which can be good, but can also be them going to people with the wrong information or the wrong way of doing things.

Connecting with your child avoids negativity; smoking, unsafe sex, drugs, alcohol. The more you connect with your child, the more you know what’s going on and are there for him, you’re helping them become a successful adult.”

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LOVE & ROMANCE

Daughter’s Dates

EXPERT TIPS FOR SCREENING YOUR

BY MELISSA SHAW

Terry Vaughan is a former British Royal Marine commando, body language expert, self defense instructor and expert marksman who was a contestant on the precision shooting series Top Shot, which makes him exactly the man his daughters’ potential suitors do not want to greet at the front door.

Even worse — for them — is that Vaughan has literally written the book, Not With My Daughter, on how fathers can evaluate potential suitors in just a few minutes via body language and other clues.

And while Vaughan says the image of the aggressive rifle-polishing father is the “go-to default emotional setting” for many dads, it’s absolutely the wrong move if he wants to learn about the boy who wants to date his daughter.

“As a former British commando, I love aggression,” he laughs, “but you’re not learning anything. If you intimidate him, you’re overly aggressive, you’re sitting there polishing your knives, you shut him down and you’ve lost that chance to figure out who he really is.”

Instead, fathers — and mothers, too, Vaughan encourages — can learn a lot in a small period of time by putting the prospective suitor at ease, building rapport and “asking him questions that coach him into answering as relaxed as possible so you have a baseline of reactions. You’ll get more information from people

being nice than you will just being aggressive and scaring the crap out of the poor guy when he gets there,” he notes.

Vaughan outlines several areas in which anyone can, with practice, learn to translate even small, subtle body language clues into telling information about a person, ranging from gait and posture to clothing, facial expressions, gestures and more.

“How much space somebody takes up is very indicative of attitude,” he says. “If somebody’s feet are wide they’re taking up more room than is necessary for comfort. Someone who takes up a great deal of space, lounges on things or has expansive arm or leg position, that tells you a lot about arrogance. And someone who’s arrogant doesn’t like hearing ‘no.’ If your daughter is smart, ‘no’ is something she’s going to be very well practiced in and understand that’s a complete sentence. She’ll know if she says it, it’s the end of the discussion, not time for a debate.

[For] people who don’t like hearing ‘no,’ that’s the start of a negotiation.”

Chin position is another telling indicator.

“A chin that goes down protects the neck,” he says. “A chin that goes up is

a little bit contemptuous because it exposes the throat. That tells you a little bit about attitude as well. If Junior does a head nod where his head goes up and he exposes his throat, he’s already told you he doesn’t feel threatened by you, which is completely and utterly abnormal if he’s at your house meeting Dad. He should feel very much threatened already.”

Now if a suitor shows up feet clamped together, taking up little space and, in fact, seems to be shrinking by the minute, Vaughan says parents shouldn’t take a victory lap but, in fact, try to put him at ease.

“You want to bring out the guy who’s in there,” he notes. “It’s great that he’s petrified — for the dad’s ego it’s great — but you’re still not learning anything. Warm him up and figure out who he is.”

In fact, Vaughan says the most important work in meeting potential boyfriends is the relationship between Dad and daughter — groundwork that can be laid years before boys start showing up at the door.

“If Dad and daughter have a great relationship and she can trust him to be on her side, and she can trust what he may be saying about her potential boyfriend is honest and supportive of her, that will ease the process of screening any guys,” he notes.

“If dads are gonna get aggressive about the screening of the boyfriend but haven’t talked

to the daughter about why he’s feeling a little tempermental then it’s going to backfire no matter what. And, in a lot of cases, dads are pushed to the periphery, only there as an aggressive bull in a china shop.”

Instead, Vaughan, who has two daughters — 13 and 10 — and a 9-year-old son, encourages moms and dads to be united in establishing an open, honest relationship with their children in which they talk about everything.

“We’ve had every conversation you can imagine, age-appropriate of course,” he says of his family.

“We have a very open and honest relationship across the board. Even the tough subjects have already been discussed so nothing’s uncomfortable for anybody. If you can do that as a dad, go talk to your kids about everything, then so many other topics are much easier to broach. When it comes to dating, if your daughter is open to Dad as well as Mom, I think you’ve laid the foundation and groundwork where she’ll make the smartest decisions for herself and it’s much less likely that then Dad has to put his shotgun to use and scare off some reprobate.”

Vaughan says this groundwork laying should be done well in advance because children date, which will happen whether parents like it or not.

“It’s gonna take Dad years to get his head around saying, ‘I’m gonna help you find love. I’m gonna help you use my years of experience to screen your boyfriend, not because I’m trying to stop you from dating, but because I want you to find the right guy,’” he laughs.

“When we had the sex talk, it was [my wife] and I, we sat down to have that conversation. We set a precedent that anything they’re going through, the questions they had, could be answered by either parent. If Mom’s not here I can answer and vice versa.

If you don’t run away from that as a Dad, if you’re available and you’ll openly discuss any of this, there’s nothing the two of you can’t talk about.”

Visit baystateparent.com to win a copy of “Not With My Daughter.”

BAYSTATEPARENTWEST 18 19

Let’s Talk About Sex LOVE & ROMANCE

(To The Kids)

Why parents find it hard and how to find resources to help

BY AMANDA ROBERGE

My feelings of failure as a parent run strong and deep in all directions, but in no area do I feel more inadequate than in the realm of “The Talk.” The sex talk. The birds and the bees.

Honestly and truly, I am terrible at this.

According to Amy Cody, Manager of Parent Education at Planned Parenthood League of Massachusetts (PPLM), I am in extremely good company. And what’s more is that she said — to my almost indescribable relief — that most parents are doing a much better job than they think they are.

Through a parent education program called “Let’s Be Honest,” PPLM fields inquiries and provides information to parents who struggle to connect with their children at this, the most basic of levels. The aim: to provide the most essential of information about the most natural of acts.

According to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, “parental communication about sex education topics with their teenagers is associated with delayed sexual initiation.” For 20 FEBRUARY2015 21

many of us with younger teens, and maybe those of us with older teens, too (have we not all told our kids they can’t have sex until they are 40?), this is clearly the goal.

Still, we struggle. But why? Clearly we have all had sex at least as many times as the number of children we have. Some of us engage in this most pleasurable of pastimes with admirable frequency (or alarming infrequency) and devout attention, given the constraints of parenthood.

Yet still we struggle to talk to our kids.

“Sometimes it’s because people feel as though their faith prevents them from speaking openly about sex, sometimes it’s because our parents didn’t talk to us and we have no roadmap for these conversations,” Cody said. Just as often, we just aren’t sure — we don’t know what information is appropriate for what age or we aren’t entirely sure of the accuracy of our info, particularly where sexually transmitted diseases and current methods of birth control are concerned.

And of course there is the concern that discussing sex and sexuality

with our teen children will somehow send a message that we condone it and that we want to provide them with not only information, but also permission.

Sound familiar?

Well here is some unsavory news for you: According to a 2009 study by the University of California Los Angeles/Rand Center for Adolescent Health Promotion, researchers found that more than 40% of adolescents had had intercourse before talking to their parents about safe sex, birth control or sexually transmitted diseases.

The danger in avoiding the conversations — as uncomfortable as they may be — is that our kids are going to get the information elsewhere if not from us. And at that point, you may as well be letting the Pretty Little Liars or MTV educate your kids.

And here’s the kind of good news for a generation of squeamish parents who think of the awkward sit-down of our own youth: The “conversation” about sex is no longer thought to take place all at once.

“What we have found is that children want to hear this information from us, and they want it to be in the form of relaxed conversations,” said Cody, who added that while it was once thought to be a good idea to have a single “sit-down” sometime during puberty, it is now widely agreed that conversations about sex should begin in early childhood and last throughout their childhood.

Since the program was piloted back in 2005, “Let’s Be Honest” has reached more than 20,000 parents.

Educators like Cody, who works in the Boston area, and Mindy Craver, Senior Educator who covers Central and Western Mass, have visited communities — through schools or other partnerships — and empowered parents to break down some of the myths about sexuality and parenting in an effort to help parents build a better skill set for talking with their kids.

“The beauty of the workshops is watching parents leave more relaxed and empowered,” Craver said. “I love to watch the light bulb go off about things that maybe they

LOVE & ROMANCE didn’t understand and now they get it.”

While the program was initially created to serve parents of teens between the ages of 10 and 14, it was quickly acknowledged that parents with younger kids were looking for some help and aiming to get started much earlier. Now the program serves a much broader age range and has a mission of helping parents to get knowledgeable and comfortable with the subject matter they will be sharing with their children.

After all, thanks to social media and a rapid-fire system of message and information, kids are exposed to a whole lot more (and a lot faster) than they once were in terms of gender identity and self-image.

And it isn’t just social media — which has quickly become the easy scapegoat for the times in which we live. It’s also video games, websites, politicians, celebrities, older siblings, advertising — the incoming information is never-ending. It’s our job as parents, Cody said, to help our kids see everything through the lens of our own particular family values.

“When we do these workshops with parents,” she said of the home

visits that are a popular Planned Parenthood offering, “we start to realize that if we want to be involved in this exchange of information, we better get into the conversation and let our voices be heard.”

Some parents, Craver added, are under the assumption that everything kids need to know is being taught in school.

As for what kids are learning at school (beyond talk in the locker room), the current health education curriculum varies from school district to school district, and may or may not cover sex and sexuality.

“An Act Relative to Healthy Youth,” a bill currently in the State Legislature, addresses this issue and has garnered notable support.

Sponsored by Sen. Sal DiDomenico (D-Everett), Rep. Jim O’Day (D-West Boylston) and Rep. Paul Brodeur (D-Melrose), the bill ensures that a Massachusetts school electing to teach sexuality education selects an appropriate curriculum that’s medically accurate, age-appropriate, and truly comprehensive. Under such a curriculum, students will learn about abstinence, delaying sexual activity, healthy relationships and healthy behaviors free of coercion, effective contraceptive use, and

about certain subject matter, added Craver, is to point kids in the right direction to someone who is more capable. An aunt, a best friend, or a great book might bridge the gap and has the unexpected side effect of modeling for your child how you deal with the discomfort, which is not to avoid the topic altogether but to admit your feelings and suggest a different path to understanding.

After all, she added, the kids have the ultimate resource — Google — at their fingertips for their questions. Google surely has the information they are looking for minus the “emotional feedback” — the judgment, the potential of being punished, and the awkward pauses between words. So our job as parents, in many ways, is to be more approachable and less judgmental so that our kids come to us and not Google.

“We can’t keep them in a bubble, so we have to get involved,” Cody added.

sexually transmitted infections.

The bill also maintains the existing state law that lets parents opt their children out of sexuality education programs.

One decent alternative for parents who are genuinely unable to talk

TAKE

Head to baystateparent.com for more information on PPLM’s “Let’s Be Honest” program, as well as the current bill in the Legislature, “An Act Relative to Healthy Youth.”

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LOVE & ROMANCE

ONE PARENT AT HOME, ANOTHER DEPLOYED: HOW MILITARY FAMILIES MAKE IT WORK

BY MICHELLE PERRAS-CHARRON PHOTOS BY AIMEE HENDERSON Hands down, parenting is one of the most difficult, yet rewarding, jobs going these days. Add in mom, dad — or both — serving our country in the Armed Forces and, suddenly, it gets tougher.

My husband and I know this well.

A Captain with the United States Air Force, he recently retired after serving for 22 years. During that time, we moved six times between five different states. I was often asked by new neighbors and co-workers, “How can you move so much?” and “Isn’t that hard on the kids?” I imagine they also quietly wondered if our lifestyle was a strain on our marriage. The answers aren’t cut and dry, and everyone’s experience is different.

But I can tell you that service members, along with their spouses, know what they signed up for when they entered the service. I would say it takes devotion, perseverance, and some grit — qualities everyone possesses, but not everyone has the necessity to use.

CO-PARENTING AND STAYING CONNECTED “Hey, Peanut Butter, Daddy loves you and misses you, see you soon!”

This is a relic from my past that still sing-songs through my head at the oddest times, even five years later. It is a recording of my husband talking 22 FEBRUARY2015 23

to our then 21-month-old son.

With three children between the ages of 1 and 8, my husband deployed to Bagdad, Iraq, for six months. He left just days before the first day of school, missing the big to-do, along with many other notable events that took place over the next six months.

To help our kids cope with his absence, we took them to one of those make-your-own stuffed animal stores prior to his departure. He recorded a special message for each child, which was placed in the stuffed toy of their choice. My boys loved those toys and still have them today.

My husband also recorded himself on video reading “Yertle the Turtle”

by Dr. Seuss, for my then 4-year-old.

My son is now 9, and to my surprise, just the other day asked if he could watch it. It meant a lot to him then, and I suspect it still holds a special place in his heart today.

When my husband deployed in 2009, Skype existed and email was much more prevalent than in years past. He emailed daily, which allowed us to exchange thoughts and ideas about our children, their behavior, and their day-to-day successes and challenges at school. Technology made his absence easier on all of us, and I did not feel completely alone in my role as parent. Because of Skype my husband was a real, tangible,

almost in-the-flesh parent for our boys because they could actually see and hear their Dad talking to them.

We even Skyped during our 2-yearold son’s birthday party so he could be “present” for that milestone.

“When Brian came home, thanks to all the pictures and calls Josh knew who his daddy was,” says Gina Willette of South Hadley. Willette is the wife of United States Army Staff Sargent Brian Willette, who retired in 2012 after 22 years of service.

SSgt. Willette spent the better part of 2010 deployed to Afghanistan for 12 months. At the time of his deployment, their oldest son was only 6 months old. The Willettes used Facebook and phone calls to stay connected while Brian was in Afghanistan.

“Facebook really helped,” she says.

“I could keep Brian involved in what was going on in our lives. He got to see a ton of pictures and videos of our son. Brian also purchased an Afghanistan cell phone. He could check in almost daily.”

When Brian returned home from his deployment, their frequent communication not only helped the Willettes maintain a strong connection during Brian’s deployment, but it also helped make the transition back to a two-parent household easier.

“I remember getting mad at Brian when he returned because he didn’t know where Josh’s sippy cups were, because they were where they had always been,” Gina recalls. “But I had forgot that he had been gone for so long, he didn’t know! But it almost felt like, because our communication was so strong and so frequent, that it was like he had been here all along.”

Unfortunately this is not everyone’s experience. Stacylee Aylward is mom to three boys in Southington, Conn.

In 2011 her husband retired as a Chief with the United States Navy after 20 years of service, much of which he spent assigned to a fast attack submarine. She says she lost track of how many times her husband deployed because they were so frequent and with no set schedule.

“Parenting the boys during that time was my job alone,” she says.

“I tried really hard to keep things consistent for the boys. It was matter of fact that he had to be gone and I was not going to let the boys think that I couldn’t handle it.”

Aylward’s husband not only deployed frequently, but a lack of communication also made coparenting difficult at best.

“During the earlier deployments there was little-to-no contact while he was out to sea,” she notes. “I was able to send him ‘family grams,’ which consisted of 50 words and were read by administration before delivery to the sailor — so [they were] definitely not a means to communicate about anything important.”

Family grams were also only a oneway means of communication. They could be sent to the sub, the sailors could not reply.

“The first deployment I spent a lot of time wondering, worried, and at times mad that I had to do everything alone,” she says. “After that I just enjoyed the time he was home and

kept busy when he wasn’t.”

Aylward explained the transition back to a two-parent household after many deployments has been challenging for her family, and it is something she and her spouse continue to work on today.

IT DOES TAKE A VILLAGE Ask any service member with kids and they will tell you that they cannot do what they do without support. All humans need to feel supported, and a military parent feels that need tenfold at times, especially during deployments.

Family, friends, neighbors, teachers, and whole communities contribute to the success of a military family. We simply cannot do it without support.

Willette says she was able to lean on her family during her husband’s 12-month deployment, as they all lived nearby her home in South Hadley.

“It was hard. I was living as a single, married mom,” she says. “My family was a huge support. They helped me with my son and with the emotional support of having a husband deployed.”

I, too, needed someone to lean on during my husband’s six-month deployment to Iraq. While stationed in Oklahoma, my husband and I were nowhere near anyone who could

even pass as a second cousin, let alone parents or siblings.

At 2 a.m. one night three months into his deployment I had one child vomiting and another crying inconsolably. Without thinking, I called my neighbor. I was sleep deprived and feeling desperate.

Without hesitation and with no questions asked, she walked over to my house in the cold night air, bleary-eyed with sleep, to comfort and hold my sick child for me so that I could put the other one back to bed and then scrub the vomit out of my carpet. At that moment I was overwhelmed with love for her, even though we were just “neighbors” still getting to know each other. At moments like that, you really just need another adult present, so you know you’re not alone.

I had more than one occasion like this while my husband was in Iraq and, every time, different people in my neighborhood stepped up and filled that void as best they could to get me through that moment. My village in Oklahoma helped me stay strong and wear a smile for my kids while their dad was away, despite the challenges I faced, and I will always feel great affection for them because of this. I will forever be thankful for non-military families who help our service members and their families in ways great and small. Know that

these small acts of kindness do not go unnoticed and often touch us deeply.

MOVING DAY Personally, I didn’t mind moving to a new location. I always saw it as a new adventure for our family, and that is how I pitched it to our kids when the time came around every three years. I knew that if I was excited about our impending move, they would be, too. “Just think, we’re going to live right next to the beach in Florida!” I said to them the last time. “How exciting is that?” Children can be very adaptive and resilient, if we as parents allow them to be. In all our moves I only saw one of my four children struggle with a new place, and that was when we moved to a non-military community where most kids had known each other since kindergarten. At 10 years old, he struggled to find his place with his peers, most of who already had an established circle of friends.

“Moving was not hard during our time with the Navy,” agrees Aylward, having relocated five times over 20 years. “Even though you’re new, acceptance was easier for my kids and there’s more support while you’re in the service. It’s harder when you retire and settle down and your whole life changes.”

After missing a sports registration deadline for her son by only two days during one move, Aylward began signing her boys up for summer sports before even getting to a new place, which had an unintended benefit. By doing so, her kids were able to meet peers from their community whom they would not have otherwise met during summer vacation. This made the transition to a new school a little easier for them when they saw a familiar face. She then continued this practice with each subsequent move.

SETTLED Now that we are done traversing the country with the Air Force, I admittedly breathe a deep sigh of relief. It is comforting to know that the kids my children meet today will likely be the same ones with which they’ll navigate the difficulties of middle school and high school.

They will have their own circle of friends in our community after years of Cub Scouts, Little League, recreational basketball and the like.

I, too, am establishing connections — building a new village, you could say. I’m optimistic that these friends and neighbors of today will likely still be here years from now — and so will I.

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Same-Sex Partner LOVE & ROMANCE

BUILDING A NEW FAMILY WITH A

W

hen it comes to parenting, there are those who feel it’s a role that soon becomes an all-consuming identity, leaving no room for anything else. Maybe that seems true in the early days, especially late at night when your baby has woken you up for the third time in as many hours. But the plain fact is that a parent remains a person: someone who will continue to grow and evolve just as much as the child. Sometimes that evolution can take a very unexpected turn: like discovering a new sexual orientation.

Any parent in a same-sex relationship faces struggles, but this may be particularly true for parents whose children come from former, opposite-sex relationships. To begin with, anyone who leaves a straight marriage

24 FEBRUARY2015 25

BY ALEXANDRA TOWNSEND

and then enters a same-sex relationship faces all the standard pains and trials that come with any divorce.

“I was married for 32 years. When our children grew up, [my husband and I] didn’t have anything in common anymore…[but] it was still giving up a lot [to divorce], financially and emotionally,” said Bev LaBelle of Ashfield. “It was hard to clean out the house we built.”

In LaBelle’s situation, she didn’t leave her husband to be with a woman. Instead she left her husband and later found a woman to share her life with. Although that situation can be common, it doesn’t stop a new samesex relationship from making a parent’s life much more complicated. In addition to going through a divorce, there’s also the challenges that come from coming out of

the closet.

Susan Boyd* said her children were shocked at her divorce and later grew resentful of her relationship with her new girlfriend. In LaBelle’s case, her son accepted her new relationship, but the situation brought out feelings of homophobia in her daughter, who used to support same-sex couples but that changed when “same-sex couples” included her mother.

“I was afraid I would lose my daughter,” Boyd said. “She was devastated [by the news]. She asked what she was supposed to tell her friends. I had to give her space for a while.”

But it’s important to note that in both of these situations these women were coming out to children who were already grown. In many cases, such changes can be harder

for grown children who have had decades living with both biological parents.

“Older kids can feel like their parents’ marriage wasn’t valid,” noted Angeline Acain, publisher and editor of Gay Parent Magazine.

“And if that’s true, why did they stay together so long? That’s not a problem with younger kids.”

Cynthia White of Northampton came out when her son, Jeff, was 5 and they both lived in Arizona. He was accepting, but struggled with the homophobia he saw at school. “[One day] his teacher asked the class if they’d be friends with someone who was gay. Jeff came home upset when he saw most of the kids go to the ‘no’ side of the room,” White said.

School situations have become much easier since moving.

“Northampton has a strong lesbian

“We went to court a lot,” White said.

“I absolutely felt the people there were biased against me. I think they thought I was less stable.”

Taken together, all this might seem very ominous. Obviously no divorce is ever easy and coming out has many difficult hurdles of its own. However, there are also words of hope. LaBelle emphasized why she put herself through so many challenges.

“It was scary, but it was the right thing to do,” she said. “You have to follow your heart. My marriage to John was a success and that doesn’t change just because we got divorced.

We still had everything a marriage was supposed to for 30 years. We loved each other, we raised a family, and we were there for each other during the hard, long nights.”

She added she didn’t feel that her marriage was a waste or a lie, but rather something she grew away

“Every child is different.

Tell them you love them.

Your kids will find ways to let you know what they need.

Let them come to you.” community. Now there are lots of other kids [at school] with lesbian moms,” she noted.

There are also the problems that come from facing homophobia in the wider community, socially and legally. Even in Massachusetts there are many with deep prejudices, sometimes ones of which the homophobic themselves are unaware.

Boyd said her friends drifted away after she started to date a woman: “I’m also semi-closeted at work. I have to be a little distant.” LaBelle had to deal with many rumors that started about her in town.

“One day my pastor came over and told me, ‘Everyone knows you left John for Janet’ even though that wasn’t true,” she said. She also felt a tension with some friends: “I only love Janet, but some of my friends were worried for themselves and their teenage daughters for a while.”

In dealing with grown children, however, there was one problem these women didn’t have to face.

As Acain noted, things can get even more difficult in cases in which there is also a custody battle. “The straight parent can make things hard if they’re homophobic,” she said. “There’s a social and legal bias against same-sex couples raising children.”

from. Now she has a wife with whom she is extremely happy.

“My advice if you’re in that sort of situation is to get out of the marriage and be honest with your kids,” Acain said. “It’s better to do it as soon as possible.”

If you are in the position of needing to come out to your children, here is advice from women who have been through it: “Make sure you really plan it out.

Keep in mind who your kids are as individuals,” Boyd said.

Added White: “Make sure your child knows other families with gay parents. Keep the lines of communication open. My son is 14 now and he still asks me questions about gay people.”

“Every child is different,” LaBelle noted. “Tell them you love them, that the situation isn’t their fault, show you still support them. Your kids will find ways to let you know what they need. Let them come to you.”

In the end, being a gay or bisexual parent can be a difficult road to walk, but it is ultimately a matter of being true to oneself. That is often the only way to become the best parent one can be. For LaBelle, she knows she made the right choice every time her children introduce her and her wife by saying: “These are our moms.” * Name changed upon request

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LOVE & ROMANCE

Romance and Parenting: REAL TALK ABOUT

WE TIME, CHOREPLAY AND MORE

BY SARA POKORNY

In a life without children, the vision of romance tends to be conjured as such: candlelit dinners, trips to far-off places, days spent in bed or nights spent sitting up talking.

Post-children is a different story, one in which the aforementioned romance picture pretty much vanishes. Days are spent cleaning up messes, running wildly to and fro to get errands completed, with nary a second to express much to your partner outside of, "Did you pick up that dog food I asked you to?" Does this mean that romance is a totally dead concept once children are part of the equation? Absolutely not — it just becomes a notion that evolves as the journey of parenthood does.

“The reality of romance does change when we become parents.

You and your partner are not only in a bonded relationship to each other, gazing into each other’s eyes, but there is another tiny person in the house [or more] demanding that we become really ‘grown up’ and put our personal needs to the side most of the time,” said Annette Cycon, LICSW, Founder and Director of

Training at MotherWoman in Hadley.

“Taking out the garbage, paying off the household debt, feeding the hungry hordes and mediating conflict does not set the tone for romance. It's easy to be irritable and take out stress on the closest target — your spouse or partner. We often forgot that this person is our closest ally, is in it up to their eyeballs, too, is exhausted and stressed just like us and could use what we are missing, which is gratitude, compassion and recognition.”

"Me" time becomes "we" time.

Romance is not just reserved for the couple; there are times it can actually include the kids, lending a new perspective to the whole notion.

“For Valentines Day, we've made valentines together as a family and for each other, which made us redefine ‘romance’ considerably, but was a practical approach to our new reality and established a new holiday ritual,” said Jenn Dorfield of South Hadley.

"What is romantic and bonding is not only time together, but time with the family together," Cycon added.

"It shows that our love and hard work have paid off with this beautiful family that we have created together. Just take the mental snapshot before the bickering starts again."

Big nights out become big nights in. Who could remember to call for reservations at a time when there are a ton of other things going on at once? Romantic evenings no longer have to be spent at a fancy restaurant; they can just be constructed through simple time alone, at home.

“When I had babies and didn't have the energy or resources to go out on a date, we used to put the kids to bed and have an ‘at-home date’ where we would open a bottle of wine, turn the lights down low, put on our favorite music, light candles and remember that we were once ‘girlfriend and boyfriend’, not co-parents,” Cycon said.

“At-home dates are a norm even with older kids,” Dorfield noted.

“They’re on a budget and must be scheduled ahead to curb our inclinations to go separate ways at separate tasks.”

Grand romantic gestures become pretty scaled down. Who needs flowers and chocolates when an hour alone — uninterrupted by children — to take a nap is the way to a parent's heart? The way in which partners show they care changes quite a bit as the years go on, and become more simplified actions.

Leaving love notes around the home that have nothing to do with parenthood, but everything to do with recognizing your partner is special even outside of the coparenting relationship becomes a way to whisper sweet nothings into his or her ear, just in a more convenient fashion.

"Hearing the words, ‘Let me take the kids for an hour’ or ‘Go lay down’ is like hearing ‘I love you’ a thousand

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times," said Karen Wysocki of Agawam. "That shows me how much you care and cherish me, and want me to be happy."

Sometimes it's simply expressing gratitude.

"Say thank you every day for all the big and tiny things,” said Lauren Harris of South Hadley. “Make it a thing you both do each night before bed.”

"Sexy time" is no longer just about sex. Not only do our environments change once children are introduced to them, so do our bodies. Women may feel more self conscious postbaby, we may be too tired to really get into things — suddenly, though sex is certainly nice, it's not exactly what we need to get the job done.

"Laughing together is the best sex," said Liz Friedman, MotherWoman Program Director in Northampton.

“My post-kids body isn’t nearly so amorous, so foot rubs are my new foreplay,” Dorfield added.

Noted Cycon: “Sometimes just making out a little without sex is a nice way to show closeness to each other.”

Foreplay becomes "choreplay."

If you’ve never heard of the term “choreplay,” you may want to become acquainted with it; it’s the act of being turned on by your spouse or partner doing housework, and it’s something many couples with children of all ages find to be applicable to their lives.

"Emptying the dishwasher, even taking 10 minutes to pick up the kids' toys," said Jeannine Golden of Leverett, "are the unprompted tasks he does that make me extremely happy and sometimes a little weak in the knees."

Moments for self-care are fewer and far between and may no longer necessitate things like a trip to the spa. Romance isn't reserved just for the partner, but the individual as well. If you make time to give yourself a little love, that's going to reflect back to your partner.

“When we put ourselves on our ‘todo’ lists and take care of ourselves in small ways, we feel better about ourselves, feel less stress and come home refreshed, whether it is home to a partner or to our children,” Cycon said.

These self-loving acts can be the tiniest of things: a phone call to a friend, a walk by yourself or with a friend, a long shower or not answering e-mails after a certain time of day.

Though there are times you or your partner feel the romance is gone, remember that it isn't — it's just changed. Love is still expressed, just in different ways. And, perhaps, you can look at it as falling in love all over again — not with a husband or wife — but now with the father or mother of your children, someone you can appreciate with new eyes every day as they kiss boo-boos and clean up snotty noses. What's not romantic about that?

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Kittens and Puppies and Kids, Oh My!

How Fostering Pets Benefits Animals and Families

BY CHRISTINA COOPER, ASHLEY VASSALLO PHOTOGRAPHY

Mewbacca, Havoc, and Tabsy had never seen a 7-year-old boy before.

Was he something to play with?

Munch on? Hide from? My son Jack sat down in front of their kitten bed, gently picked up Tabsy and tucked him inside his red sweatshirt, whispering, “You’re OK. You’re OK.” Tabsy nuzzled in and started purring at the top of his lungs. Now he knew: A 7-yearold boy was something that gave kittens love.

We are lucky to be a pet fostering family, taking pets into our home that need time away from local shelters to grow, heal, or socialize until they are ready for adoption.

Our cat-loving family chose to specialize in kittens between 1 and 2 pounds in weight. We took a training last spring at Springfield’s T.J. O’Connor Animal Adoption Center to learn the ropes with Jessecah Gower, Special Projects and Volunteer Coordinator.

During the training, she looked straight at my kids and announced: “You have a really important job, 28 FEBRUARY2015 29

and you have to promise me you will not forget to do it.” They nodded solemnly. “You have to play with your foster kittens every day.” They jumped up and down in glee. This was a promise they could keep.

Gower explained to us that the more normal family chaos young

roaring and pianos playing, they will be able to adapt just fine to living in family homes. Cats and dogs who don’t have a chance to socialize early on with people, especially children, can find it harder to fit into an adoptive situation.

“Families who foster help shelters

“My girls reinforced math skills with measuring out medications and weighing kittens.

In fact, the youngest child was a reluctant reader and she learned by reading out loud to feral kittens.” animals can be safely exposed to, the more adoptable they will be. Fosters should be included in family life as much as possible. If they are used to kids’ running feet and cuddling hands, vaccuums

save lives,” Gower asserts.

Plus, don’t forget, “They are cute and fun to play with!” Six-year-old Ryan Chung tells me this regarding the newborn kittens in his basement. He and his two younger

brothers are part of a pet foster family with the Dakin Humane Society in Springfield. Ryan’s mother, Kate Chung, explains how she got the idea.

“I first thought of fostering a cat as a way to test our son's allergies. We knew he had a severe dog allergy and tested positive for cats, but we weren't sure how severe it was,” she says. “We were lucky enough to start fostering a pregnant cat in May. After three weeks she finally gave birth to six kittens.”

As it turns out, newborn kittens are hypoallergenic and only start producing the skin oils that make many allergic people react at around two months.

“Around seven weeks of age, the kittens really started irritating him.

So for us, it seems the only kind of cuddly pet we can have is newborn kittens, which is very special,” she adds.

The benefits of fostering clearly go both ways. Young animals learn to get along with humans and enjoy the setting of a real home

Interested in volunteering as a pet foster family? Adoption Centers and shelters all over Western Mass would love to have you.

Contact your nearest shelter, or check out: Dakin Humane Society dakinhumane.org Springfield Adoption and Education Center 171 Union Street, Springfield Leverett Adoption Center 163 Montague Road, Leverett

rather than a shelter cage, while the young kids get to learn proper handling and the sheer joy of curious, cuddly creatures. Chung says, “Our rambunctious little boys have learned how to cuddle and comfort creatures no bigger than their hand.”

Long-time pet foster parent Tami Hoag also encourages families to give fostering a try to enjoy the adundant perks.

“Animals are therapeutic,” she points out. “Snuggling with a puppy or seeing a mom dog come out of her shell and enjoy playing chase with a ball can turn your cranky day around.”

Hoag’s family has been fostering animals in Western Mass for the Dakin for more than 12 years.

“Fostering started out partially as a way to provide the kids with having an animal but not committing to owning one while at the same time helping save an animal life,” she explains. “As a single mom with young kids, I was unsure if I wanted to take on the commitment of adding an animal

full time to the household.”

Hoag found many educational opportunities through fostering pets. “My girls reinforced math skills with measuring out medications and weighing kittens,” she notes.

“In fact, the youngest child was a reluctant reader and she learned by reading out loud to feral kittens.

My kids have researched guinea pig diets, learned responsibility — though there may have been a fight or two about whose turn it was to clean the litter box! And patience — it takes time to turn a feral kitten around. They have also become advocates of spay/neuter practices and humane animal treatment.”

Foster parents can choose which kinds of animals they volunteer to help and for how long; Hoag and her children have been there for everything from nine tube-fed newborn puppies to guinea pigs to 2-day-old cats.

“Foster parents are my heros,” says Leslie Harris, Dakin’s executive director. “They save more than 1,000 lives for Dakin each year. Everybody from little

kittens to baby hamsters to fullgrown elderly dogs. They give of their hearts over and over again.”

We had the opportunity to foster more than 10 kittens in 2014, and friends love coming to our house to meet the new furry bundles. Some have been adopted by neighbors or co-workers, others by strangers within minutes of being brought back to the shelter. My whole family has found the experience tremendously enriching.

My daughter Susannah loves helping name each new arrival, like spotted sisters Lindsey Light Ears and Betty Black Ears. My husband sometimes brings the friendliest ones to his work for Kitten Thursday, which lowers stress and increases giggling around the office.

“But how can you give them up?” people frequently ask. “Don’t you just fall in love?”

Susannah answers for all of us: “Of course we do. They need love, that’s why they come to us. After they’ve learned all about kids and love, they are ready to be adopted by anyone.”

T.J. O’Connor Animal Adoption Center tjoconnoradoptioncenter.com 67 Cottage Street, Springfield Email Jessecah Gower at jgower@ tjoconnoradoptioncenter.com If you’re not ready to foster, you can still help by sponsoring a pet fostering family. While the adoption centers provide all medical care, other supplies are always needed, such as kitten and puppy formula, heating disks, litter, bottles, and food.

BAYSTATEPARENTWEST 28 29

BEYOND BINARY:

How Massachusetts

Schools Support Gender Nonconforming Students

BY KEELY SAVOIE

W

hen Jay* was just 2 years old, he began telling his parents that “God made a mistake.” His female body was all wrong, he said, because he was a boy.

By the time Jay was 4, he was stuttering and had become anxious and depressed. The burden of having a female body and being socially perceived as a girl had become unbearable. When his parents realized that the issue was much deeper than a passing phase, they began helping him socially transition, identifying him as a boy, letting him dress in the clothes of his choosing and referring to him with the male pronoun.

“After his parents accepted him as a boy, he just thrived,” recalls Jeff Perrotti, director of the Safe Schools program, a joint initiative between the Massachusetts Department of Elementary and Secondary Education (DESE) and the Massachusetts Commission on LGBTQ Youth. Perrotti first met Jay as he was preparing to enter kindergarten; his parents first approached Perrotti to ask for his guidance and assistance with starting Jay in kindergarten as a boy. “I came in and arranged a meeting with the principal and by the end of the meeting the principal assured Jay’s parents that he would be safe and supported in his school.”

Today, more and more gender nonconforming children like Jay are entering schools, some even transitioning during the school year, within settings that often lack both the education and infrastructure to fully integrate them. Jay is one of thousands of children in Massachusetts schools who identify as transgender or do not otherwise fit into the neat boy/girl gender binary.

There are countless names to describe them — transgender, genderqueer, gender nonconforming, gender creative — but they all have one thing in common: the underlying recognition that gender is not inextricably tied to physiological sex.

In 2012, the Transgender Equal Rights Law, signed by Gov. Deval Patrick, took effect. The law prevents schools from discriminating on the basis of gender identity and mandates a number of specific measures schools must take to support gendernonconforming students. The next year, DESE issued guidelines for schools on how to comply with the law and provide their gender nonconforming students a safe and supportive educational atmosphere. The Safe Schools program provides material help and trainings to help schools and families with gender nonconforming students or students in transition.

30 FEBRUARY2015 31

“My role is not only to help schools navigate specific student situations and support them and their families, but also to help them develop practices and policies that are inclusive of [all] gender-nonconforming students whether people know who these students are or not,” Perrotti says. “It can be the simplest changes — getting teachers to tell students to sit with ‘someone you work well with’ rather than dividing the class by boy/girl.”

Perrotti also works directly with families, helping to connect them with resources and other families with gender-nonconforming kids.

“Transition goes most smoothly when the schools and families work closely together, and when there is time dedicated to developing a good plan, which is specific to the individual student’s needs,” he says.

But even before the DESE guidelines were released, some schools were already working to integrate gender-nonconforming students, says Karen Jarvis-Vance, director of Health Service, Health Education and Safety for Northampton Public Schools.

“Northampton has been ahead on this for a while,” she notes. “We were already changing policies and practices to make our schools more inclusive before the guidelines were released. We were changing, making sure that there were gender-neutral bathrooms and changing spaces in every school. We’re not 100% there yet, but we’re working hard to get there.”

Making the changes has been a steep learning curve for those involved, many who are encountering the topic of gender variance explicitly for the first time.

“We all — all of us: school people, kids, parents — need to keep educating ourselves,” Jarvis-Vance says. “I am continually learning, and sometimes it’s hard for my brain to wrap itself around these things — but having an open mind is the best gift you can give our kids.”

In addition to obvious changes — implementing gender-neutral bathrooms and changing spaces, eliminating gendered classroom practices, etc. — Jarvis-Vance says a good deal of the work they do is determining what individual students and their families need.

“Every kid is different. Every kid has different needs. A lot of what we have done has been on a case-by-case basis for each individual child,” she says. “Genderneutral spaces are just as important as allowing gender-nonconforming kids to use the pronouns and bathrooms of their preference.”

Sometimes, actions with the greatest potential impact are as simple as correcting past oversights.

For example, in 2014 Northampton Public Schools changed their Youth Risk Survey questionnaire to include not just male/female categories, but also trans and “not sure.” In the coming year, it will add another category: Other.

“Just because someone is not identifying as male, female or transgender doesn’t mean they’re not sure, so we wanted to give them an ‘Other’ category,” Jarvis-Vance explains.

Still, as positively as schools have reacted and adjusted to the influx of gender-nonconforming students over the past decade, some see room for improvement.

“No one is thinking ahead in a social justice framework about how to be proactively inclusive,” says Shannon Sennott, gender justice activist and family therapist. “These are reactive support systems that are often implemented from the top down, but they are not being created from the ground up.”

In her work, Sennott often sees gender-nonconforming kids and their families for years and believes that some approaches designed to accommodate their needs may cause psychological harm, particularly the decision to treat the child’s gender

nonconformity as a secret that can only be revealed on a need-to-know basis.

“I get those kids in my office, and they come in with severe anxiety and depression,” she says. “The message that they have been receiving is that there is something wrong with them, that they’re not OK. It also deeply supports the socially constructed gender binary.

We’re making progress on the backs of our trans children. They’re holding everything.

Their backs are breaking under the weight.”

Sennott believes that true gender equality in schools will not happen until education encompasses it and proactively includes gender education in its curriculum.

“I think there should be gender education from kindergarten all the way to 12th grade at every school,” she says. “There’s plenty of ways to talk to young children about the fact that gender is a social construct. That will go much further toward gender justice than changing the bathroom signs.”

Head to baystateparent.com for links to community support and health resources for parents and students, and workshops and trainings and free gender curriculum for teachers and administrators.

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Oh, The Places They’ll Go! Non-profit puts the magic of books in the hands of area youth

BY SARA POKORNY

When Sue Jaye-Kaplan was a young girl she was an orphan, but it was not a life situation that held her back.

In fact, she loves telling the story of those days to the young boys and girls she works with through her organization, Link to Libraries.

After all, she traveled quite a bit back then.

“I was very, very lucky because I touched the Great Wall of China, I was able to overlook the Grand Canyon, and I was even fortunate enough to learn how to bake cupcakes from a master French chef,” Jaye-Kaplan said of the story she shares time and again with the youth of Western Mass. “The boys and girls say the same thing to me all the time, ‘How did you get to do those cool things if you were an orphan?’ And I say, ‘Remember, I told you I was lucky. I lived three blocks from the Boston Public Library and every day for four years my siblings and I sat at that library in the children’s room on the plaid couch and the librarian brought us those books. Through the magic of those glorious, sweet-smelling, gorgeous books I did touch the Great Wall, I did bake those cupcakes. I did 32 FEBRUARY2015 33

everything else, just sitting on that couch.”

It’s Jaye-Kaplan’s love affair with literature coupled with her need to make an impact on the local community that prompted the creation of Link to Libraries, a nonprofit organization whose mission is to distribute new and gently used books to elementary school libraries and non-profit organizations throughout the region.

It began in May 2008 when JayeKaplan, also co-founder of The Women’s Leadership Network, Go FIT and the Pioneer Valley Women’s Running Club, read an article in The Republican about the part- and fulltime closures of libraries due the sparse amount of books available.

She reached out to the 65 people that belonged to an online book group she hosted and asked that they each send her a specific book. She also spoke with Janet Crimmins, a licensed Speech and Language Therapist, who provides communication intervention to children ages 3-12.

The White Street School in Springfield was the first to receive donations from Jaye-Kaplan’s efforts,

and the results spurred her to pursue the idea further.

“We could see that it made such an impact in that one school,” she said. “We felt like, hey, we’re not going to change the world, but we can certainly help, bringing in good books from people in the community that are big proponents of literacy.”

Link to Libraries services 400 sites and is the largest regional book distributer. In 2014, 79,000 new books and 3,000 used books were given out to children. Jaye-Kaplan said the organization anticipates having about 127,000 new books this year.

Link buys 90% of the books, stories that come from all genres and are offered in several different languages, such as Chinese, Vietnamese, Polish, Russian, Spanish, French and Somali.

The organization also receives input from the literacy directors and teachers of each suburb in which they work, ensuring books of significance are purchased.

While a book may seem a simple thing, Jaye-Kaplan said people might not realize just how many are left wanting.

“Over 60% of the children we donate

to have never owned a book,” she noted. “It’s hard to believe, but it’s a statistic. The libraries in most urban cities, and rural, there are so many budget cuts for other things needed that, unfortunately, new books are not the priority.”

Though books are given to the library as a whole, many are also gifted to an individual.

“We give an equal number of books to the school for the libraries, and an equal number of books to hand out to children for literacy days, good behavior or however the school may handle it,” Jaye-Kaplan said. “That way, children can begin to build their own personal library.”

"It is a reality that many of our children have limited access to books within their homes,” noted Margaret Thompson, Principal of Kensington International School in Springfield.

“Therefore, understanding that becoming literate is an essential skill needed to ensure our students' successful future, the ongoing support has been a key component that enhances our school-based literacy program. Link to Libraries has truly transformed the way

our students view reading while developing an intrinsic appreciation for books."

Link runs several programs, one of the most popular being the Business Book Link. Businesses sponsor a school for three years. That school is given between 250 and 400 new books every year. Jaye-Kaplan said there currently are 32 schools and non-profits waiting to be sponsored.

It’s only been active for two years, but already 52 schools and nonprofits have been sponsored through the program.

But sponsorship is not just about donating money to the cause. “The nice part is that the sponsor engages with the students of the school during that period of time,” she said. “If they don’t, we don’t want to accept them as a sponsor. When we’re long gone we want those businesses to feel a real attachment with those school students and the school itself.”

One such way to accomplish this is to have a reader visit the school every month, an event during which each child receives a new book.

Readers for Link to Libraries come from all over, from bank presidents to members of the police and fire departments to Roderick Ireland, Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court Justice.

“We want these boys and girls to see and connect with someone in the community,” Jaye-Kaplan said. “To

know that where they work is not just a building they go by, but there’s somebody in that building that wants to know them and hopes that someday they may be an employee

Kaplan recalled a time when Peter Rosskothen, owner of the Log Cabin Delaney House restaurant in Holyoke and a reader since Link’s inception, had an eye-opening experience:

Link to Libraries community readers like Peter Rosskothen, President and Owner of the Log Cabin and Delaney House Restaurants in Holyoke and Easthampton, spend time each month visiting schools, handing out books and making connections with students.

there. They have a connection, and that connection is worth a very large amount in the minds of those children.”

It’s not only the children who greatly benefit from the readers. Jaye-

“One of the books he read was a book about a young girl that came to this country and took her first vacation, and she stayed in a hotel.

After he read the book he asked the students — who were in Grade 3 or 4 at the time at the Sullivan School in

Holyoke — what a hotel was. They said things like, ‘A place to go when your house burns down’, ‘Where you live when you have no other place.’

Not one child out of 23 children said it was a vacation place; they didn’t even consider it a vacation place, it was so far from their realm of thinking. It really brought home that any one of us could be homeless or underserved or on the poverty spectrum and really not have what they need to have.”

Link to Libraries also gives a technology grant of $10,000 to two school districts every year; hosts a Welcome to Kindergarten program in which 5,100 children in Chicopee, Springfield and Holyoke receive bilingual book packs, book bags and bookmarks; offers Reading Any Place, a program in seven cities for homeless children; and runs the Books on the Bus program, in which children enrolled in summer camp at the Springfield YMCA have books provided for them during their bus rides to and from camp.

“We try to broaden the kids’ horizons,” Jaye-Kaplan said. “We hope that the boys and girls that Link to Libraries touches will travel away from Springfield or Chicopee or the Berkshires or Worcester, but if they never go further than their own city block, at least they can educate themselves though the magic of reading wonderful books.”

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LET’S GO

Indie Mountain Thrives With A Little Help From Its Friends

BY JANINE QUEENIN

A bright winter sun shines over Broadway ski trail, but gives no relief from the frigid air. Skiers and snowboarders bundled up in florescent winter gear slide across fresh snow to load the chairlift for the first run of the day. Blandford Ski Area is open for business.

For more than 78 years, Blandford Ski Area has provided Western Massachusetts families with a high-quality, low-cost ski experience that is close to home. A hidden gem in the foothills of the Berkshires, Blandford is a piece of New England history.

B

landford Ski Area is a throwback to a simpler time, an anachronism in this era of corporateowned ski resorts. The oldest, continuously operating ski club in the United States, the Blandford Ski Club has built a community of skiers and riders who care about the future of the mountain and each other.

The ski area is open to the public, but “owned” by club members who are season pass holders. About half of the members volunteer their time during the off-season cleaning lodges, clearing brush and painting picnic tables or chair lifts.

34 FEBRUARY2015 35

In fact, volunteers are one reason Blandford remained open while other independent ski areas closed or were purchased by large corporations.

According to Marketing Director Dave Fraser, “without volunteers Blandford wouldn’t survive.”

Lisa Masciadrelli, the club’s Director of Children’s Programs and a certified ski instructor for 25 years, summed it up: “Sometimes it’s difficult to open because of the weather. Volunteers keep Blandford going. It’s a labor of love. [Volunteers] come back year after year and give countless hours on and off the mountain to make it happen and they do it because they love it.”

Some volunteers bring specialized

skills like welding or engineering to the club, while others gain new skills. “I’ve learned how to tile and do plumbing. You feel vested in the mountain’s success when it’s yours,” Masciadrelli said.

Unlike ski areas to the west or north, Blandford’s proximity to Hampden County allows families to fulfill other weekend obligations, like basketball or hockey games, and still get to the mountain.

Families can ski a half-day without the big-mountain cost or pressure to get their money’s worth.

“A season-long membership costs the same as a weekend at some of the bigger resorts up north,” Fraser noted. “[Parents are] introducing

the kids to the sport. The lesson and rental are reasonably priced so they aren’t breaking the bank,” which means no big initial investment or financial loss if the kids don’t enjoy themselves.

With three chairlifts, 22 trails and two terrain parks, Blandford offers enough trail variety to suit beginners and keep more advanced skiers and riders interested and having fun. Several local high-school race teams train at the mountain and the club hosts a tri-state and interclub race team with 80 racers. Race team alumni have gone on to compete in the Junior Olympics and the Eastern Regional Championships, and a few have received college scholarships.

At Blandford, many kids learn to ski at age 3, join the racing development team at age 7, race in high school, teach while in college, and return as adults to enroll their own kids in ski or riding lessons.

“It’s the cycle of life at Blanford.

People learn to ski at Blandford and then change to a bigger mountain, but come back and bring their own kids,” Fraser said.

Children’s Programs Director Masciadrelli grew up skiing at Mount Tom in Holyoke. When that mountain closed she looked for a new ski area to call home. “After a visit to a Blandford open house, I was hooked,” she said.

At the time, Blandford didn’t have a ski program for kids aged 3-6, so Masciadrelli brought “Ski with Me” over from Mount Tom. Now more than 700 children participate in the program each year.

Believing children learn better with their peers in a playful, fun environment, her students spend the day riding a gentle magic carpet to the top of a small hill and skiing through a hoop into the arms of an enthusiastic instructor. Some days Masciadrelli will even appear as the mountain’s bear mascot Peppermint Patty to the children’s delight.

“I love to watch the students grow and improve,” she said. “I see the kids I taught grow up, have children and come back to the mountain with their own kids. It’s wonderful.”

Adult classes are offered for those new to the sport or who have taken a break because of family obligations. One such class, “Ladies Morning on the Mountain,” was established seven years ago and is a light-hearted approach to learning to ski.

Masciadrelli often saw moms standing on the sidelines while their kids took lessons. When asked why they didn’t participate, the answers were always the same: “I haven’t skied since my kids were born,” “I’ve gained too much weight,” and “My equipment is old.” So her father, retired Colonel William T. Whitman, had an idea: create a class to get moms on the slopes and skiing with their families.

“It was my father’s vision to grow the mountain to all it could be and make the mountain accessible to everyone,” she said. “He wanted to create a program to get more women skiing and create skiing families where no one sat out. After he passed away, I wanted to make his dream a reality.”

The lessons are scheduled to start around preschool and bus stop time, and provide encouragement,

community and a lot of laughs on Friday mornings.

The Blandford Community Blandford is more than just a place to ski and ride; fans say it’s a community, and Angelica Tunstall, a mom and skier from Holyoke, agrees.

“Belonging to Blandford has been a wonderful experience for my whole family,” she said. “I like it because it's close by, very family friendly, and it feels like you know everyone who works there in a week.”

On Friday nights, families bring a crockpot dinner and parents socialize in the lodge while more than 500 students from local schools participate in night classes.

On Saturday nights, live music fills the air and adults bring dinner and a bottle of wine to enjoy while the kids ski.

Activities are planned throughout the season to encourage participation in the club and foster community. One highlight is the annual February Jubilee. The weeklong celebration includes ski events, club racing and a dinner, ending on Saturday night with a children’s glowstick parade down the beginner hill and a separate torchlight parade by ski instructors.

Another club favorite is the day dedicated to the Special Olympics.

Each winter, athletes participate in the assessment round at Blandford to qualify for the state championships.

In 2010, the club was awarded the Donald Dowd award for their work with the organization. “Bringing the Special Olympics to Blandford is a lot of work with many helping hands, but it’s worth it. We’re proud to offer that at Blandford,” Masciadrelli said.

The club also hosts a Military Appreciation Day in honor of Masciadrelli’s father, who was the area director for several years.

Military personnel ski free with a valid ID and the club holds a flagraising ceremony at noon with an American Legion Honor Guard and the singing of the National Anthem.

New England weather is unpredictable and often unkind to ski areas. Still, the future looks bright for Blandford with new families discovering the mountain everyday.

“Blandford is a family place and a place you make life-long friends. It’s special, safe and local — with the values of community and volunteerism that you want to instill in your family,” Masciadrelli noted. “It’s truly a unique place and there aren’t that many unique places left in this world. It’s worth giving it a try.”

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Inside Massachusetts’ Local-Grown Food Movement

BY JEN BOUCHARD

Let’s try a little visualization exercise: The ground is frozen. The plants and flowers have shriveled into the ground until spring. The wind is whistling outside your window. Perhaps a light snow is falling.

You’re hungry, in the mood for something fresh and tasty. Your eyes land on the kitchen counter. You see a bunch of green bananas, not nearly ready to be eaten, and an avocado, which should have been eaten two days ago. On the windowsill rests an imported beefsteak tomato. It looks sad. Picked too early and tired after its long flight from warmer climes, this is a tomato that knows it could be so much more. It will not surprise your mouth with a burst of sweet and savory juice. It will not mingle in a salad with basil and vinegar dazzling your taste buds with its freshness. No. This tomato may sit atop your burger, providing a splash of color, a hint of juice, but you both know it’s useless.

What can you do? It’s winter. You can do a lot, actually, and you can do it locally.

Summer isn’t the only time of year to buy local foods. Consider the cornucopia of fresh, flavorful produce that is available now — squashes and carrots, onions and sweet potatoes, Brussels sprouts, vibrant bunches of cold, hardy greens. And don’t forget the milk, yogurt, honey, bread, maple

syrup, seafood and grass-fed beef — even wine. It’s enough to make you abandon those imported tomatoes forever.

The local food movement has gained momentum over the past few years and with good reason. Local food is fresher and tastier. Produce picked in season is not forced to ripen on a shelf. Food doesn’t have to travel long and far to get to the consumer, so it lasts longer and tastes better. In addition, investing in local food and farms preserves open spaces, benefits the environment and puts money back into your own community. And, because the farmer has direct contact with the customer, there is a real emphasis on quality.

According to the Environmental Protection Agency, there are about 2.2 million farms in the United States.

Approximately 87% of those are small farms, owned by families or individuals.

More and more of these farmers are now selling their products directly to the public. From 1992-2007, revenue from direct to consumer food sales tripled, rising from $404 million to $1.2 billion per year. The community supported agriculture (CSA) model, which began in the 1980s, now has more than 6,000 operating CSAs nationwide.

Growing distrust in large-scale farming and production operations

has contributed to the rise of the local food movement. More and more people want to know where their food comes from. The USDA’s slogan — “Know your farmer, know your food” — boils the campaign down to a basic sentiment.

It feels good to eat something when you can see the direct line from farm to table. You can’t say the same about a chicken nugget.

According to a National Restaurant Association survey, the top menu trends of 2014 were locally sourced and environmentally-sustainable foods.

The people have spoken and the people want local food.

Chris Eddy of East Longmeadow says his family supports local farmers whenever possible: “I don’t really shop by price. I own a small business so I try to support all local businesses because it goes back into the local economy. Not just a CEO’s pocket.”

“Besides helping the local economy, there is something special about knowing you are eating fresh food grown in local soil, as well as getting to meet the growers,” adds Holly Pierce of Bridgewater.

Thanks to the Internet, finding the best local places to shop has never been easier. One such example is Local Harvest (localharvest.org), an organization that provides an online

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directory connecting consumers directly to farmers. They define the local food movement as “enjoying real food, grown yourself or purchased from people you trust. It’s about developing strong local economies and producing food on a human scale. It’s about eating seasonally, practicing the art of cooking, and sitting down to enjoy meals together.”

You might be surprised by how many options you have right in your backyard. While organizations like Local Harvest provide a national directory of farms, CSA programs, coops and markets, there are other groups that focus specifically on regional agriculture. There are nine “Buy Local” organizations in Massachusetts alone. The newest is Central Mass Grown (centralmassgrown.org), which recently earned a $60,000 grant from the Massachusetts Department of Agricultural Resources to help develop its website.

“Our first project is to create and publish a directory of local farms, markets, retailers, CSAs, restaurants, & others who produce, support, or purchase local agricultural products,” says Maleah

Where LOCAL is just the beginning!

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Revisiting The

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with the Dietitian

VEGETABLES

BY ANDREA LUTTRELL, RDN, LDN

G

rowing up, my mother prepared dinner practically every night and always had a vegetable on the table.

But one vegetable she never served was spinach. Once I became older and wise enough to want to eat spinach, I began wondering why we never had it at home. Her answer: She grew up eating canned spinach and never thought of preparing it a different way.

Unfortunately, this is a very common story when it comes to vegetables.

You’re introduced to a vegetable that’s been served or cooked in a less-thanideal way and then go through life thinking you don’t like it. Until you taste it when it has been prepared well, that is. That was me with green beans. Canned green beans were never my favorite. In fact, they’d often make their way onto my sister’s plate so I wouldn’t have to eat them. But serve fresh or frozen green beans and I’m in love!

This is important to keep in mind when serving vegetables to children.

Just because they don’t like something prepared one way (i.e., steamed) doesn’t mean they won’t love them in a different preparation (i.e., roasted).

If you’ve been avoiding certain vegetables because family members have turned up their noses at them in the past, here are three vegetables you should reconsider in your meal plan for their delicious taste (really!) and impressive nutritional profiles.

Brussels sprouts: These beauties might be one of the hardest veggies for people to love. They even rank #4 on a 2013 “The Top 10 Vegetables I Won’t Eat” survey. To reclaim your love for this cruciferous vegetable, say goodbye to overcooked, boiled sprouts. Roasting or pan-frying them is a must.

To roast Brussels sprouts, cut off their ends and slice each sprout in half. Toss with olive oil, salt and pepper then bake on a sheet pan at 400 degrees for 35 to 40 minutes. Once crisp on the outside and tender on the inside, sprinkle lightly with kosher salt and serve.

My favorite way to enjoy this veggie is to pan-fry them. Thinly slice, or shave, each sprout then sauté in olive oil with minced garlic, red pepper

flakes, salt and pepper. Over mediumhigh heat, cook and stir until the Brussels sprouts begin to soften and brown in color, being careful not to burn. If you’re not sure how to shave sprouts, check out the ”How Do I…?” video on the Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics website eatright.org.

By enjoying four Brussels sprouts, you gain 3 grams fiber, 120% the Daily Value for Vitamin C, a good source of folate and potent cancer-fighting compounds for a mere 40 calories.

Spinach: While canned spinach might be perfectly delicious in soups, stews and dips, it probably isn’t the ideal way to introduce your family to this leafy green. Start by selecting fresh baby spinach because it’s sweeter and more tender than its fully grown counterpart.

Like Brussels sprouts, spinach is delicious sautéed in a simple combination of olive oil, garlic, salt and pepper until wilted. Once

cooked, you can also squeeze a bit of fresh lemon juice to brighten up its flavor. If feeding a larger family, keep in mind one pound of fresh spinach cooks down to about one cup sautéed spinach.

To serve as a fresh salad, pair with ingredients like dried cranberries and almonds or sliced pears, walnuts and feta cheese. Spinach salad also works well with bolder dressings and can often be seen with honey mustard, warm bacon or garlic-style dressings.

With 40 calories in a cup and a half, each serving of fresh spinach is high in folate, a good source of magnesium, and also packs 5 grams fiber, 70% the Daily Value for Vitamin A, 25% the Daily Value for Vitamin C and 20% the Daily Value for iron. Spinach is also rich in disease-fighting phytochemicals, including beta-carotene for immunity and lutein for eye health.

Cauliflower: If you grew up eating

bland, over-boiled cauliflower, it’s no wonder you may be avoiding it.

Cauliflower is a versatile vegetable that can take on both mild and stronger flavors. Plus, if you don’t have time to chop and prepare fresh cauliflower, frozen florets work just as well in any of these preparations.

Simply run frozen cauliflower under cool water to thaw before cooking.

Roasting cauliflower helps to bring out this vegetable’s natural sweetness and buttery flavor – a completely different experience from boiled cauliflower. Roast just like Brussels sprouts but reduce cooking time to about 25-30 minutes. After baking, sprinkle with Parmesan cheese or serve as is.

One technique I learned about five years ago was sautéing cauliflower florets in a pan with breadcrumbs.

This results in a crispy and flavorful side dish – and usually my favorite part of the meal. Start by running frozen florets under cool water to defrost, then place in a skillet and drizzle with olive oil. Over mediumhigh heat, stir to coat florets with olive oil then sprinkle with garlic powder, pepper, Italian-style bread crumbs and Parmesan. Continue to stir and cook until breadcrumb crust begins to brown and cauliflower becomes tender.

For one-sixth of a medium head of cauliflower (approximately 1 ¼ cups chopped), you benefit from 2 grams fiber, an excellent source of Vitamin C, and a good source of folate and phytochemicals such as indoles and isothiocyanates, which have anti-cancer properties — all for 25 calories.

Andrea Luttrell is a registered dietitian nutritionist for the Living Well Eating Smart program at Big Y Foods. She can be reached at livingwell@bigy.com or write Living Well, 2145 Roosevelt Ave, PO Box 7840, Springfield, MA 01102.

Would you like to be featured in a future issue of baystateparent?

Send your question to editor@baystateparent.com and you might soon be Dishin’ with the Dietitian!

BAYSTATEPARENTWEST 36 37

Bites Show Off Your Sweet Side

This Valentine’s Day Treat family, friends and co-workers to something they will all love this Valentine’s Day by making easy and impressive cookies.

Start with your favorite roll-out cookie recipe or simply dress up store-bought ones by adding some simple details with icing.

Here are three ways to leave happy recipients smitten with sweets this Valentine’s Day: • Desserts with dimension. Triple your treats by stacking three decorated cookies in different sizes together and attach them with icing.

• Complement with color. A simple piping technique looks stunning when piped in different colors on your cookies.

• Get to gifting. Wrap your finished treats in a Valentine’s Day treat bag or box.

Scalloped Heart Cookies Each cookie serves 1.

Favorite roll-out cookie recipe Ready-to-use white creamy decorator icing Icing Colors: Burgundy, Red-Red and Christmas Red

Prepare and roll out dough following recipe directions. Use largest cutter from the 4-piece heart nesting cookie cutter set to cut out shape. Bake and cool cookies.

Divide icing into four equal portions. Tint one of each portion light burgundy, dark burgundy, and combination of red-red/ Christmas red. Reserve last portion white.

Starting from top edge of heart, use tip 102 and icing in dark burgundy, light burgundy, red and white to pipe V-shaped groups of two petals, one piped from left and one from right, to create row of petals in alternating colors. Repeat with second row between petals in first row. Continue to repeat pattern until cookies are covered.

Stackable Ombre Heart Cookies Each stacked cookie serves 1.

Favorite roll-out cookie recipe Royal icing Rose Icing Color Heart Micro Mini Icing Decorations Prepare and roll out cookie dough following recipe directions.

Use 3 smallest cutters from 4-piece heart nesting cookie cutter set to cut out shapes. Bake and cool cookies.

Divide royal icing into three equal portions, and tint 3 shades of rose. Thin a portion of each shade following recipe directions.

Use tip 3 and full-strength tinted icing to outline cookies. Use thinned tinted icing in cut decorating bag to fill in cookies; gently tap to smooth icing. Let dry overnight.

Use icing to attach cookies, stacking largest to smallest; place icing decoration on top.

38 FEBRUARY2015 39

Simple, EarthFriendly Tips for Preventing Food Waste

BY ANGIE GREGORY

Reduce, reuse, recycle. This adage is the cornerstone of green living and can easily be applied to other areas of our lifestyle beyond the segregation of trash.

When we extrapolate this idea, its beneficial impact greatens. For example, you might see eco-conscious parents looking to the Center for EcoTechnology in Springfield for ecobuilding bargains. It’s not only better for their wallet but it’s also better for the environment to repurpose something rather than expend the energy, resources and time to create anew. This is how you might typically see “reduce, reuse, recycle” pan out.

What if we turned that same approach toward how we consumed food? I know, I know, you’re thinking along the lines of turning last night’s leftovers into tomorrow’s casserole, but that’s not where I’m going. Perhaps you heard about the National Resources Defense Council’s (NRDC) report on wasted food, which examined how the practice translates into not only wasted money but also wasted energy.

The organization found that if wasted food scraps were removed from our landfills, it would cut greenhouse gases to the degree of removing onefifth of the cars from the road. Crazy how it’s all connected, right?

Let’s head back to the shopping aisle where this can be prevented.

Impulse and bulk purchases are two reasons why 25% of household food gets thrown out. Sometimes sale items

wow us, but they’re products we don’t typically meal-plan around and end up wasting. Another factor can be poor planning that sends us to a restaurant booth because of insufficient meal planning before the last shopping trip.

Then, of course, the surface area of the dinner plate actually grew 36% from 1960 to 2007, resulting in food that gets tossed after we prepare and serve more than our family is actually eating. That then gets channeled into more waste when it’s improperly stored as leftovers.

Our family tends to store leftovers in glass Ball canning jars. Glass is impermeable, meaning it keeps out the air and seals in the freshness longer. An advantage over plastic: Nothing gets leached into your food that you don’t want in your body, such as phthalates from plastics that can disrupt your endocrine system.

Another big bonus is that you can actually see what’s in there. If you organize your fridge like they do in the grocery store, you’ll put the stuff that needs to get eaten first in the front and the “fresher” leftovers or stored food towards the back.

Sounds like too much work? What if you got paid to do it? For the average house of 4, this could mean a savings of about $2,000 a year if we simply didn’t waste, according to the NRDC. Of course there are smartphone apps that can help you create shopping lists that sync with your partner’s phone, like BuyMeAPie, and others that even

let you know how long products have been in your fridge, or help plan appropriate portions.

Another factor at play with food waste: Consumers misinterpret labeling and end up discarding a product that is fine to consume. “Best by” dates vs. “Sell by” dates are put on a product just as a suggestion for peak quality, but don’t relate to product safety. However, 20% of the time they are driving the decision to toss when they shouldn’t be, says the NRDC. And what products do we tend to waste more of? Fruits and veggies!

Again, it’s a matter of purchasing what we know we’ll eat in a reasonable amount of time before it spoils, but it’s harder than we think. Maybe if we shrunk our fridges like we could shrink our dinner plate size, we would buy less. Then we’d be getting fresh food more often, which provides a higher vitamin content. The farmer’s markets are great for this, as are businesses like Valley Green Feast, a weekly delivery service that brings the farmer’s market to your door year round. Planning and portioning fresh food that way would have the double benefit of supporting local farmers and a local distributer.

I know my family still walks a gallon or more of compost scraps from our kitchen to the back yard almost every other day, so maybe this week as I start to add to that bin, I’ll take notice of all that goes in and think, “If this was a dollar bill how could I have saved it?”

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our february favorites fa sunday

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8 {Fact}

Happy 105th birthday to The Boy Scouts of America, founded on this day by William Boyce in Washington, D.C.

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Children can stay hydrated in style with their choice of one bottle from SIGG’s 2015 Kids Collection. These durable aluminum vessels are nearly indestructible and completely BPA and phthalate free, keeping drinks cold, fresh and odor-free.

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17 25 {WIN} 24{Fact} 25 Bill Murray was bitten twice by a groundhog during the filming of the movie “Groundhog Day”.

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Win a two-pack of fun and functional gifts for the nursing mother and child from Nursing Bra Express. First is their signature Baby Nip Nipple Hat that visually spreads the word that “Breast is best.” The winner will also receive a pack of seamless, soft-cotton nursing pads.

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Girls can disconnect from tech and connect with themselves via ELEMENTS for Girls: A Fun & Engaging Self – Discovery Project. Each of the book’s chapters invites girls to read, reflect and complete activities while exploring themes such as self-acceptance, empathy, and more, and also make a bracelet reminding them of what they learned. For a chance to win your copy, visit baystateparent.com

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Dance, Gym Preschool Consignment & Enrichment & Child Care Potterville Pottery

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Tues - Fri: 12 - 8pm, Saturday: 10am - 8pm, Sunday: 12 - 4pm We are closed Mondays

Have your Birthday Party at Potterville!

Choose from a wheel party or a painting party, and get a 2nd clay activity, balloons and invitations for $25 per person (including firing and materials).

Have your party on a Friday Afternoon, Saturday or Sunday. A $35 non-refundable deposit is required to book your party.

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Little Friends Child Care Center

MORNING PRESCHOOL 9:15am-1pm follows the Belchertown school schedule

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Allergy Warning: Potterville has a live rabbit.

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Summer Gymnastics A Dream Come True Learning Center.....42 Amelia Park Children’s Museum...........17 Amherst Montessori School.................23 Anisa’s Closet....................................42 Arbor’s Kids, The................................10 Atkins Farm......................................36 Basketball Hall of Fame.....................16 Berkshire Museum.............................16 Big Y...............................................44 Brain Balance.....................................8 Bricks 4 Kidz....................................42

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Wh w

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take eight

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with Ralph and Jane Meunier

With marriage rates decreasing and divorce still prevalent, the accomplishment of a 50th wedding anniversary is more impressive than ever before. Ralph and Jane Meunier of Sterling, who recently celebrated their Golden Anniversary, took some time to share their thoughts on marriage, parenting and more.

You’ve accomplished something beautiful that fewer people are achieving these days. What’s the secret to a long, happy marriage?

Jane: Love, patience, understanding.

Ralph: Perseverance. Along with the multitude of happy times, there will be rough waters. A determined effort to overcome these difficulties is necessary to sustain a long relationship.

When you think of your wedding day, what’s the first thing you think of?

Jane: December 26, 1964. Snowy, raining and very slippery. People must have hated being out in the nasty weather.

Ralph: Snow, rain, sleet. Mother Nature was not kind to us that day.

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What is your spouse’s best quality?

Jane: His Faith in God. Ralph: Loyalty to our relationship, children, family and friends.

What do you think is the hardest part of raising children?

Jane: Patience. We had to let them make their own mistakes and be there for them if they fall.

Ralph: Assisting, without interfering, their transition from adolescence to adulthood. Trusting their personal growth and values will sustain them.

5

What is the biggest change you’ve seen when it comes to family life over the past 50 years?

Jane: First of all, the loss of morality in music, movies and television. Kids would never have been allowed to see or hear the disgusting things of today.

Ralph: Single-person parenting, two working parents, advancement in electronics technology, communications, social media and general affluence. In the last half-century there have been many more than these, but those mentioned have all contributed, to some degree, to a lessening of meaningful interaction within the average family. Defining its impact is better left to others.

4

What was the most rewarding part of raising children?

Jane: Seeing what beautiful adults they have become and the wonderful way they are raising our grandchildren.

Ralph: Watching them mature and grow into who they will become as adults.

Shawna Shenette Photography

6

Spouses disagree, what’s your key to settling an argument?

Jane: We should talk about it, but do not. I ignore him until he comes around.

Ralph: A meaningful apology helps but there is no key. Each argument brings its own circumstance.

Give us yet-to-be grandparents a preview.

What’s the best part of having grandchildren?

Jane: All six of our grandchildren are the joys of my life. They warm my heart.

I wish they were here before we had our children.

Ralph: Love them, yes.

At the end of the day they go home, yes. But the best part to me is witnessing the extension of myself.

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