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baystateparent FREE

Massachusetts’ Premier Magazine For Families Since 1996

JANUARY 2017

THE STEEP PRICE OF OVER-PARENTING

THE SURPRISING TRAIT BEHIND HAPPY, SUCCESSFUL KIDS HOW TOO MUCH PARENTAL HELP HURTS YOUR CHILD IN SCHOOL

LOSING: IT’S GOOD FOR KIDS 5 WAYS TO HELP KIDS MANAGE SCARY NEWS REPORTS

© Ed Emberley, used with permission.

The Art and Storytelling of Ed Emberley Through April 9 Helmutt’s Drop-in Studio Create pictures using Ed Emberley’s techniques.

Visit worcesterart.org for hours.

RELATED ACTIVITY:

KAHBAHBLOOOM: The Art and Storytelling of Ed Emberley is supported in part by The Donald and Mary Melville Contemporary Art Program Fund and The John M. Nelson Fund. Sponsorship support is provided by Cole Contracting, Inc. and Imperial Distributors, Inc. Media Partner: Artscope Magazine.

WORCESTER ART MUSEUM 2 JANUARY2017

/ worcesterart.org

BAYSTATEPARENT 3

We help your child achieve their personal best in life and scholastics What parents are saying...

“CDN made it possible for our son to have the extra time needed to compensate for his slow processing.

He has excelled in high school earning all A’s except for a B in AP Physics in his senior year. His PSAT scores allowed him to be a National Merit Scholarship Commended student providing him with a good scholarship for college. Thank you CDN!” From, grateful parents “We truly appreciate your support and guidance as we begin the journey of learning how to best support our son and guide him towards more success at school.”

Parents of an 11-year old “With the Child Development Network’s recommendations, we were able to develop a comprehensive and manageable Individual Educational Plan for our son. They have continually ensured that his needs are met and that the necessary services are out in place and provided at his school.”

Parents of a 6th grader

The CDN network of doctors provides expert clinical care for...

We’re Here to Help!

Diagnostic Evaluations & Education Consultation/Advocacy: • Autism Spectrum Disorders • Attention Deficit and Hyperactivity • Dyslexia/Learning Disorders • Executive Function Skills

Treatment and Therapy: • Executive Function Skills Training • Coping Skill Development • Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

4 JANUARY2017

Child Development Network, Inc. Lexington, MA • 781-861-6655 www.CDNKids.com

table of contents JANUARY 2017 VOLUME 21

4

1.

things we learned

in every issue MEET OUR CONTRIBUTORS

the january issue

8 9 10 12 14

ADD TO CART: Our favorite January product picks

36

DIVORCE & CO-PARENTING: New Year’s Resolution: Be a Better CoParent in 2017

46 46 48

CIRCLE OF FRIENDS: Area adoption events

49 50 54

REEL LIFE WITH JANE: January’s top family movie releases

while making

Narcissism is up (+ 58% in 30 years) and empathy is down (-40%) among today’s children, producing the most stressed-out kids on record. Head to page 32 and learn simple ways parents can cultivate empathy in their children and raise successful, happy kids. It’s not too late!

2.

3.

NUMBER 9

Transition planning for children with special needs is a legally mandated component of the Individualized Education Plan process that goes into effect when a child turns 14. On page 38, learn the ins and outs of crafting a child’s education and IEP to arm a student with real-world skills that will aid in their transition to life after school.

Executive function refers to a critical mental skill set that helps people plan, focus, and juggle multiple tasks successfully — in other words, get things done. These critical abilities develop as a child grows and have profound effects on their life in and out of school. On page 40, discover how parents can help a child develop their executive function skills, as well as how to determine if their child needs professional help.

4.

In the 1980s, the Columbia University football team lost 44 straight games, yet reflecting back, the players say that experience made them better men. On page 54, sports writer and author Sam Weinman talks about his new book, Win at Losing, and why losing is good for kids.

BSP ONLINE

BY THE NUMBERS: Inside New Year’s

OH, THE PLACES YOU’LL GO: January Calendar Of Family Events

JANUARY’S CHILD: Meet Zadrick THE THINKING PARENT: How Therapy Outside the Box Aids Children

ASK THE EXPERT: How To Stop a Biting Toddler TAKE 8: Sports writer and author Sam Weinman: “Losing is good for kids in a hundred different ways.”

owner and publisher KIRK DAVIS associate publisher KATHY REAL kreal@baystateparent.com CREATIVE

editor in chief MELISSA SHAW editor@baystateparent.com creative director PAULA MONETTE ETHIER pethier@holdenlandmark.com senior graphic designer STEPHANIE MALLARD design@baystateparent.com multimedia editor MONICA HAMILTON monica@baystateparent.com

ADVERTISING

director of sales REGINA STILLINGS 508-865-7070 ext. 210 regina@baystateparent.com account executives KATHY PUFFER 508-865-7070 ext. 211 kathy@baystateparent.com SHAUNA WHARTON 508-963-7154 shauna@baystateparent.com JUDITH NEEDELL-MINTZ 508-494-5868 JudithNeedell@me.com

22 West Street, Millbury, MA 01527 • 508-865-7070

BAYSTATEPARENT 5

Education Extravaganza

Features 22 31 47

5 Ways to Help Kids Manage Tragedy The Price Of Over-Parenting Greater Boston PFLAG Partners To Host Youth, Family Program for Transgender Community

Ripe 24 26

Simply Delicious: Superfood Salads are Winter Wonders Bites: What You’ll See With the FDA’s New Restaurant Menu Labeling; 6 Unexpected Infused Water Ideas for Gorgeous Skin; Mini-Popcorn Boasts Major Flavor; Make Your Cast Iron Last a Lifetime; and Cook Up Some Sci-Fi in Your Kitchen.

32

The One Skill Parents Aren’t Teaching That is Critical to Kids’ Success

34

How Too Much ‘Help’ Can Hurt Your Children’s Success in School

38

Keys to Crafting an IEP/ Transition Plan for Children With Special Needs

40

Why Your ‘Forgetful’ Child May Not Be Forgetful After All

42

Standardized Science Tests Show Mixed Results for Mass Students

This month’s cover model: Avery.

Lynn Quinlivan Photography

JOIN US ONLINE! facebook.com/baystateparent Twitter @baystateparent

Ice Skating at the

WORCESTER COMMON OVAL Public Skating All Winter Fridays 5 pm - 8 pm Saturdays & Sundays 1 pm- 6 pm

Located behind City Hall - 455 Main Street FREE Parking - Underneath City Hall

for more information, please visit www.WorcesterCommonOval.com Call 508.929.0777 for weather cancellations 6 JANUARY2017

Cornerstone Academy Educating all learners in grades K-6

An elementary preparatory school that celebrates the individual.

TOURS January 10th & 24th

Sign up at www.cornerstoneacademy.org

Celebrating 20 Years

Learn Deeply

Live Fully

Think Creatively

Act Compassionately

It’s Not A Fairy Tale.

The Perfect School Awaits Your Child.

Northboro, MA 01532 • 508-351-9976

BAYSTATEPARENT 7

GIVING NEW MEANING TO THE

JOY RIDE

JANUARY

CONTRIBUTORS Jane Boursaw is the film critic and editor-in-chief of ReelLifeWithJane.com. Her reviews and work have been published in Family Circle, Parade, New York Times, Variety, People, and more.

Carolyn Daitch, Ph.D. is a psychologist, trainer, author, and presenter. She is the director of the Center for the Treatment of Anxiety Disorders in Farmington Hills, Mich., a certified and approved consultant and elected Fellow with the American Society of Clinical Hypnosis, and a Certified Imago therapist.

Her time is split between clinical practice, supervision, consultation, teaching, and public speaking.

Her latest book is The Road to Calm Workbook: Lifechanging Tools to Stop Runaway Emotions. Learn more at anxiety-treatment.com.

Our wide novice runs, intermediate cruisers, and narrow steeps spread over 1,000+ acres of terrain serve up plenty of joy for all levels of skiers and riders! Mix in plenty of snowman building, tube sliding, hot chocolate sipping, and snowflake catching — and you’ve got the recipe for the perfect family vacation.

Families fall in love with Winter at Smugglers’ Notch, Vermont.

Your family will, too!

BE A SMUGGLER THIS WINTER! Experience the joy that only our award-winning family programs can provide.

Voted top 3 for VALUE, SERVICE, and OVERALL SATISFACTION by the readers of SKI Magazine for 2017!

Call 1.888.974.1138 smuggs.com/bsp

Celebrating 60 years of Family Fun!

8 JANUARY2017

Jennifer Sheehy Everett is a writer, PR consultant, and mother to a busy toddler who’s pretty certain he runs the show at her and husband John’s home in Melrose.

She enjoys music and performing, dance, golf, travel, the pursuit of tasty food and wine, and time with cherished family and good friends.

Brett Graff has written about money and personal finance for The Los Angeles Times, Yahoo!

Finance, Cosmopolitan, The New York Times, and others. Her column, The Home Economist, is nationally syndicated and published in newspapers across the country. Her latest book, Not Buying It, is out now.

Learn more at thehomeeconomist.com.

Kaitlyn Hall is graduate student clinician in the Mental Health Counseling program at Becker College with specialized interest and training in the area of art therapy. She provides counseling services to adults, children, couples and families thought the Counselor Training Clinic (CTC) at Becker College in Leicester. Visit mhcclinic.becker.edu for more information about available, low-cost, counseling services at the CTC with Kaitlyn or other qualified professionals.

Marshal D. Haneisen is a freelance journalist, writer, and creative writing instructor. She lives in Fitchburg with her husband, son, and a variety of pets.

Her son has a dual-diagnosis of Down syndrome and autism, and her experience as a parent of a child with special needs inspires some of her writing for various publications, as well as for her blog, thespecialneedsfiles.com. Information about Marshal’s writing and workshops can be found at marshaldhaneisen.com.

Dr. Lynne Karlson is chief of general pediatrics and adolescent medicine at Floating Hospital for Children at Tufts Medical Center and an associate professor at Tufts University School of Medicine.

Doug Page is a Medfield father of two whose newspaper career started in high school. He’s written stories, sold ads, and delivered newspapers during the morning’s wee hours. He’s covered stories as shocking as the crash of Delta flight 191 in Dallas many years ago to the recent controversy involving Common Core and standardized testing in Massachusetts.

Michelle Perras-Charron is a freelance writer and mother to four school-aged boys in Western Mass. A Navy brat and also the wife of a retired Air Force Captain. She loves writing about people and all topics related to parenting. She also enjoys running and a strong cup of coffee.

Attorney Irwin M. Pollack is founder and lead attorney of Pollack Law Group, P.C. (PollackLawGroup.com) and a divorced father himself. He shares insights and information about co-parenting on his weekly radio talk show, Talking About Divorce, which can be heard weekends on WRKO in Boston (AM 680), WTAG in Worcester (AM 580/94.9 FM), WXTK on the Cape (95.1 FM), and WHYN in Springfield (AM 560).

Martha Ruch is the owner of Simply Delicious Personal Chef Service, helping busy families come together at the dinner table since 2007. Find pictures, recipes, cooking tips and more at simplydeliciouschef.com; on Facebook @ SimplyDeliciousPersonalChefService; and on Twitter @chefmartha

SAVE THE DATE

Sat., Feb. 11, 2017

baystateparent’s

KidsCon & CAMP EXPO See page 28 for more information

bsp ONLiNE

H

appy New Year! Did you know 1 million people gather in Times Square annually on New Year’s Eve and 1 billion more around the world watch the festivities on TV? Or that the #1 New Year’s resolution is to lose weight? Find more New Year’s facts and stats on our fun page, “By The Numbers,” about New Year’s traditions on page 10. And you can always find the latest parenting news, contests, and giveaways — and me — at baystateparent.com, Facebook (baystateparent), Twitter (@ baystateparent), and Instagram (baystateparent).

baystateparent’s

KidsCon & CAMP EXPO

Your one stop resource for all things kids.

Save the date: February 11 Don’t miss baystateparent’s first KidsCon & Camp Expo!

Join us for our first KidsCon & Camp Expo at the Best Western Royal Plaza Hotel & Trade Center in Marlborough, your one-stop shop for all things kids.

Adult tickets are just $5 and kids are free! You’ll find camps, vendors, activities, a Legoland Building Room, face painters, princesses, puppets, magicians, entertainment, and much more! Find out more online at baystateparent.com/kidscon.

They Got It! Laura of Somerset and Alaina of Northbridge and their families had fun watching We Bare Bears and Charlie Brown’s All Stars DVDS, and Jen of Scituate and her kids enjoyed a recent trip to the zoo. Watch your newsfeeds and emails for your next chances to win. And please remember to check all your email folders after the contests you’ve entered ends: We need to confirm names and mailing addresses before we send out your prizes!

Congratulations Farida of Woburn won last month’s newsletter-only giveaway! We are always adding more exclusive contests and giveaways for our Facebook and newsletter followers, so make sure you subscribe to our newsletter at baystateparent. com/newsletter/ for exclusive prizes.

Monster Jam! Kick off the new year with a fun night out at the DCU Center in Worcester for The Monster Jam Triple Threat show on January 13 or 14! Email win@baystateparent.com with the subject line Monster Jam Triple Threat by January 5 for your chance to win family 4 packs of tickets, and be sure to include your mailing address. Happy New Year!

— Monica Hamilton, multimedia editor BAYSTATEPARENT 9

by the numbers A

ncient Babylonians celebrated the new year on the first full moon after the spring equinox about 4,000 years ago. At this time, they would make promises to the gods to pay back any debts they owed and return borrowed objects.

Julius Caesar made January 1 the first day of the year in 46 B.C., but England and the American Colonies wouldn’t do so until 1752.

44% 8%

succeed in achieving their resolution

64% 46%

10 JANUARY2017

of adults kiss someone at midnight

maintained resolutions for one month

45% of Americans usually make New Year’s Resolutions

38% never make resolutions

maintained them past 6 months

Top 5 Resolutions

1

2

Get Organized

Lose Weight

3

Spend less, save more

4

5

Enjoy life to the fullest

Stay fit & healthy

happy new year!

BAYSTATEPARENT 11

add to CART The coolest stuff we found online this month.

If there’s one thing parents like it’s fitting a lot into a little, which is exactly the point of the Transit30 Duffel from Matador. This ultralight, pack-away duffle bag holds a whopping 30 liters’ worth of stuff when you need it and fits in the palm of your hand when you don’t. Made of waterproof Cordura, it’s perfect to throw into the diaper bag, a purse, or the glove compartment to have on hand when you need it (because at some point, you will). $49.99. matadorup.com.

Let your kids take their coloring out of the confining pages of a book and spread out — way out — with Pirasta’s Really Big Coloring Pages. These illustrated posters measure 5 feet by 3 feet, so everyone can join in. Hang your posters on the wall with painter’s tape and get to work. Poster choices include What A Colorful World, Let’s Color America, The Big Apple, Food Fight, Funny Farm, and Spaced Out. $32. pirastanyc.com.

Get yourself (or someone you love) something cool and feel good about it when purchasing a fashionable accessory at beyondBeanie. The social clothing company contracts with Bolivian artisans who craft the goods, and every purchase benefits them and their children. Every beanie purchase results in five meals; every bag, one set of school supplies; every poncho, one school uniform, and so on. The company also offers colorful bracelets, scarves, headbands, and much more. beyondbeanie.org.

Kids can enjoy no-tech fun in a whole new way with craft kits from Geek & Co. The Monster Sewing Workshop Kit gives kids everything they need to make their own cute creation — and learn the basics of hand sewing at the same time. The Felting Bakeshop Kit shows kids how to create via the art of felting (by pushing a needle in and out of the wool repeatedly, the wool is tangled and compressed into firm shapes). The kit includes felting needles, wool, and instructions on how to make a felted doughnut, cookie, and ice cream. $24.95. labratgifts.com.

Boots are a necessity in winter, but they’re usually pretty bulky. Stride Rite has solved that problem with the cool-named Snoot. The half-sneaker/halfboot footwear offers the flexibility and lightweight features of a sneaker, plus the insulated, water-resistant protection of a boot. Even better, it’s machine washable and collapses to fit in a bag. The Snoot is available in Baby/Toddler (4-8 M, W) and Preschool (8.5-11 M, W) sizes and comes in solid colors or fun character themes, such as Frozen, Star Wars, Spiderman, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and My Little Pony. $50 (baby/toddler)/$55 (preschool). striderite.com.

12 JANUARY2017

Tickets Start at $15!

Restrictions, exclusions and additional charges may apply. Subject to availability.

DCU Center

JAN 13 – 15

358320

Competitors shown are subject to change. © 2016 Feld Entertainment, Inc.

MonsterJam.com BAYSTATEPARENT 13

OH, THE PLACES YOU’LL GO Congratulations! Today is your day. You’re off to Great Places! You’re off and away! - dr. seuss

Courtesy of the Discovery Museums

Courtesy Boston Children’s Museum

GO JAM Monster Jam Triple Threat Series. DCU Center, Worcester. Jan. 13-15.

GO EXPLORE Forest Fridays. The Discovery Museums, Acton.

Jan. 6.

14 JANUARY2017

GO MARVEL The Magic of Bonaparte.

The Regent Theatre, Arlington. Jan. 7.

GO CELEBRATE O-shogatsu: Japanese New Year Festival.

Boston Children’s Museum. Jan. 15.

OH, THE PLACES YOU’LL GO!

1 Sunday

MELTDOWN WARNING: Before you pack up the mini-van, please confirm your destination.

Although we’ve done our best to ensure accuracy at press time, things can and do change.

of all shapes and sizes, then create some tasty and nutritious snacks to help keep our feathered friends full through the winter months. Free with admission. Members free, nonmembers $12.50, children under 1 free. discoverymuseums.org.

Hike into the New Year. Broad Meadow Brook Wildlife Sanctuary, 414 Massasoit Rd., Worcester. 9:30 a.m.-12 p.m. Join us for a New Year’s hike, as we look for tracks and signs of wildlife, with coffee and cocoa to warm us up when we get back. For ages 8 and up. Register ahead. Members $6, nonmembers $4. massaudubon.org.

6 Friday

Arms + Armor Demonstrations. Worcester Art Museum, 55 Salisbury St., Worcester.

11:30 a.m.-12:30 p.m. Join us for this fun, interactive program as you learn about different kinds of arms and armor used by knights and soldiers, from Roman soldiers to medieval nights and beyond. Free with admission. Members free; nonmember adults $14, ages 4 to 17 $6, under age 4 free. worcesterart.org.

The Sound of Music. The Hanover Theatre for the Performing Arts, 2 Southbridge St., Worcester. 1 p.m. Enjoy a presentation of the Rodger and Hammerstein classic musical, directed by three-time Tony winner Jack O’Brien, following the story of the spirited Maria as she is sent to steward the Von Trapp children as Nazism takes hold of Austria. $39-$84. thehanovertheatre.org.

Christmas Festivals of Light. Edaville USA, 5 Pine St., Carver. 2 p.m.-8 p.m. Enjoy as 17 million lights illuminate the park and enjoy over 90 rides and attractions to celebrate the Christmas Festival of Lights, even as we enter the New Year.

Free with admission. Ages 4 and up $37, ages 2 and 3 $32. edaville.com.

2 Monday Kids in the KITCHEN: Holiday Edition.

KITCHEN at Boston Public Market, 100 Hanover St., Boston. 10 a.m.-11 a.m. Learn from market vendor cooks and farmers as they tell first-hand stories about where ingredients are sourced and how they are grown, while prepping lunch and enjoying a communal table to enjoy these “happy” meals. For ages 6 to 12.

Register ahead. Members $9, nonmembers $15. thetrustees.org.

Courtesy of the Worcester Art Museum

New Year’s Stroll. Eleanor Cabot Bradley Estate, 2468 Washington St., Canton. 10 a.m.12 p.m. Join us for a leisurely stroll down to the dell and through the woods, where you are welcome to bring a thermos of something warm to enjoy along the trail. Free. thetrustees.org.

GO CREATE Families at WAM Make Art. Worcester Art Museum.

Jan. 7.

exstrawvagant celebration of National Drinking Straw Day as you tinker about with a bounty of different straws and see what artwork or inventions you can create. Free with admission.

Members free, nonmembers $12.50, children under 1 free. discoverymuseums.org.

Especially for Me: Sensory-Friendly Afternoons. The Discovery Museums, 177 Main St., Acton. 1:30 p.m.-4:30 p.m. Explore the entire museum campus at your own pace during this day scheduled to avoid crowding and promote exhibit accessibility. Register ahead. Free. discoverymuseums.org.

TWIG. Newton Free Library, 30 Homer St., Newton. 4 p.m.-5 p.m. Newton TWIG, or Tween Interest Group, is a group of tweens who have a voice regarding Newton Free Library programs, services, collections, and more. Join the conversation and enjoy some snacks. For grades 5 to 7.

Free. newtonfreelibrary.net.

4 Wednesday

3 Tuesday

Early Explorers. Boston Nature Center, 500 Walk Hill St., Mattapan. 10:30 a.m.-12 p.m.

Discover the fascinating the beauty of the outdoors and investigate seasonal change with games, arts, stories, and movement. For ages 3 to 6. Tuesdays. Register ahead. massaudubon.org.

Tinker Tuesday: Celebrate National Drinking Straw Day. The Discovery Museums, 177 Main St., Acton. 10 a.m.-11 a.m. An

Backyard and Beyond: Nature Journaling.

The Discovery Museums, 177 Main St., Acton.

11 a.m. Make your own journal before heading

out on a nature walk, depicting and documenting what you see on the trails. Free with admission.

Members free, nonmembers $12.50, children under 1 free. discoverymuseums.org.

Dance and Movement Class. Newton Free Library, 30 Homer St., Newton. 11 a.m.-11:45 a.m. The Joanne Langione Dance Center presents a music and movement class for toddlers and preschoolers. Free. newtonfreelibrary.net.

5 Thursday National Bird Day: Feathered Finger Friends. The Discovery Museums, 177 Main St., Acton. 10 a.m.-11 a.m. Drop in and use your imagination and a variety of recycled craft materials to design a bird-inspired finger puppet. Free with admission. Members free, nonmembers $12.50, children under 1 free. discoverymuseums.org.

Fresh, Fast, and Delicious for Less with Project Bread. KITCHEN at Boston Public Market, 100 Hanover St., Boston. 11:45 a.m.12:30 p.m. & 1 p.m.-1:45 p.m. Join Project Bread’s Chef Vanessa Labranche as she leads a cooking demonstration to show that fresh, healthy foods and tasty recipes are easy for the family to enjoy. Free. thetrustees.org.

National Bird Day: Eat Like a Bird. The Discovery Museums, 177 Main St., Acton.

2 p.m.-4:30 p.m. Drop in and use tweezers, pliers, and more tools reminiscent of bird beaks

Backyard and Beyond: Forest Fridays.

The Discovery Museums, 177 Main St., Acton.

10 a.m.-10:45 a.m. Enjoy a nature-based activity channeling the weather outside before enjoying the conservation land adjacent to the museums.

Designed for ages 2 to 6. Free with admission.

Members free, nonmembers $12.50, children under 1 free. discoverymuseums.org.

Make a MESS: Foamy Fun. The Discovery Museums, 177 Main St., Acton. 2 p.m.4:30 p.m. Drop in and have some good, clean fun, as we experiment and create unique, foamtastic works of art using shaving cream and bubbles. Free with admission. Members free, nonmembers $12.50, children under 1 free. discoverymuseums.org.

Farm Sledding After Dark. Chestnut Hill Farm, Chestnut Hill Rd., Southborough.

5:30 p.m.-7 p.m. Swing by the farm after work or school and join us for some evening sledding, featuring warm snacks, drinks, and a craft.

Register ahead. Members $5, nonmembers $10. thetrustees.org.

Three Kings’ Day. Boston Children’s Museum, 308 Congress St., Boston. 6 p.m.8 p.m. Enjoy stories and crafts to wrap up the holiday season. Free with admission. Members free, nonmembers $1, children under 1 free. bostonchildrensmuseum.org.

7 Saturday Teen Birders: Rhode Island Rarities.

Drumlin Farm and Wildlife Sanctuary, 208 South Great Rd., Lincoln. 9 a.m.-4 p.m. Ducks and geese are in abundance on the Rhode Island coast, so come as we look for pink-footed, barnacle, white-fronted, and snow geese. For ages 13 to 17. Register ahead. Members $42, nonmembers $48. massaudubon.org.

The Magic of Bonaparte. The Regent Theatre, 7 Medford St., Arlington. 10:30 a.m.

Join one of New England’s most exalted magicians as he blends magic, comedy, origami, balloon sculptures, and much more, during this dynamic, fun-filled show. Members $7; nonmember adults $10, children $8, ages 2 and under free. regenttheatre.com.

Family Tour at WAM. Worcester Art Museum, 55 Salisbury St., Worcester. 10:30 a.m.BAYSTATEPARENT 15

11 a.m. Explore the Worcester Art Museum galleries with your family on a docent-guided discovery tour. Free. worcesterart.org.

Celebrate World Bird Day. Franklin Park Zoo, 1 Franklin Park Rd., Boston. 10:30 a.m.-2 p.m. From Gouldian finches to Chilean flamingos, enjoy the dozens of species of birds that call the zoo home during this special day filled with zookeeper encounters, crafts, and activities to celebrate World Bird Day. Free with admission. Members free; nonmember adults $19.95, children ages 2 to 12 $13.95, children under 2 free. zoonewengland.org.

Beyond the Spectrum: Animals in Art. Museum of Fine Arts: Boston, 465 Huntington Ave., Boston. 10:30 a.m.-12 p.m. Explore the history of animals in art from prehistoric times to the present day, before sculpting an animal out of clay during this adventure in art for children on the autism spectrum. For ages 8 to 12. $9. mfa.org.

Families @ WAM Make Art. Worcester Art Museum, 55 Salisbury St., Worcester.

11 a.m.-11:30 a.m. Drop in for fun, intergenerational time in the galleries, as you get inspired by our art and try making something uniquely yours. Free. worcesterart.org.

Creative Arts Open House. Creative Arts Community Arts School, 25 Woburn St., Reading. 11:30 a.m.-2:30 p.m. Join us for a fun-filled lineup of hands-on activities led by our team of teaching artists, from our instrument petting zoo, to theatre games and activities, to our special art space. Free. weteachcreativearts.org.

Sounds of Winter. Boston Nature Center, 500 Walk Hill St., Mattapan. 1 p.m.-2:30 p.m.

Listen for wind in the tree branches, crunch some snow and ice underfoot, and see if you can make out the sounds of animals through the woods, before enjoying sensory activities and crafting inside. For ages 5 to 12. Member children $5, nonmember children $7, adults free. massaudubon.org.

OH, THE PLACES YOU’LL GO! of jury-awarded short films and fan favorites from the 40th anniversary edition of the Ottawa International Animation Festival. Members $5, Birds of Prey and Brownies. Joppa Flats nonmembers $10. icaboston.org.

Education Center, 1 Plum Island Turnpike, Newburyport. 9:30 a.m.-12 p.m. Enjoy homemade brownies and fruit before we bundle up with radios and binoculars and head out to Plum Sully. Newton Free Library, 30 Homer St., Island to look for snowy owls, bald eagles, and Newton. 6:30 p.m.-8:10 p.m. Tom Hanks stars various hawks. For families with children ages 7 in this portrait of airline pilot Chesley “Sully” to 14. Register ahead. Member adults $11, chilSullenberger, depicting his emergency landing dren $8; nonmember adults $14, children $11. on the Hudson River in 2009 and its aftermath. massaudubon.org.

Free. newtonfreelibrary.net.

8 Sunday

9 Monday

PJ Library Hip Hopping Dance Party. The Green Room, 62 Bow St., Somerville. 10 a.m.11:30 a.m. Get moving and dance the morning away with your little ones, as parents schmooze or join in on the fun and work up an appetite before lunch. Geared for children ages up to age 3. Register ahead. Free. bostonjcc.org.

Teen Crafterhours. Newton Free Library, 30 Homer St., Newton. 6:30 p.m.-8:30 p.m.

Enjoy this monthly activity where we make crafts and eat snacks. Free. newtonfreelibrary.net.

10 Tuesday

Debbie and Friends. Coolidge Corner Theatre, 290 Harvard St., Brookline. 10:30 a.m. Enjoy this concert for the entire family, combining rock, pop, reggae, and Broadway-influenced tunes, as well as puppets and live-performing original cartoons. Recommended for ages 2 and up. Adults $13, children $10. coolidge.org.

Little Naturalists: Bears. North River Wildlife Sanctuary, 2000 Main St., Marshfield.

9:30 a.m.-10:30 a.m. Through nature walks, stories, songs, and crafts, discover New England bears and how they live. For ages 3 to 5.

Register ahead. Members $5, nonmembers $7. massaudubon.org.

Family Bird Walk. Boston Nature Center, 500 Walk Hill St., Mattapan. 10:30 a.m.12 p.m. Take a hike as we look for the most common birds in Boston, learn how to tell them apart, and enjoy mini activities including singing, a bird food hunt, and a close look at features, nests, and other artifacts. For ages 5 to 12.

Member children $5, nonmember children $7, adults free. massaudubon.org.

Take Aparts Jr. The Discovery Museums, 177 Main St., Acton. 10 a.m.-11 a.m. Drop in and grab some tools as we discover resistors, capacitors, gears, and more through the uncovering of gadgets and gizmos. Free with admission.

Members free, nonmembers $12.50, children under 1 free. discoverymuseums.org.

New Year Trail Tending. Habitat Education and Wildlife Sanctuary, 10 Juniper Rd., Belmont. 1 p.m.-3 p.m. Help prune, repair trails, clear brush, and shovel trails to make to sanctuary accessible to all. Register ahead. Free. massaudubon.org.

Ottawa International Animation Festival.

Institute of Contemporary Art: Boston, 25 Harbor Shore Dr., Boston. 1 p.m. & 3 p.m.

Enjoy the Best of Ottawa 2016 in this collection

UMass Memorial Children’s Medical Center Down Syndrome Program One visit for comprehensive care.

Audiology • Cardiology • Child Life • Dermatology Development/Behavioral Pediatrics Endocrinology • ENT • Gastroenterology • Genetics Hematology/Oncology • Nutrition • Orthopedics Psychiatry • Pulmonology • Social Work • Urology

Free Second Saturday Morning. deCordova Sculpture Park and Museum, 51 Sandy Pond Rd., Lincoln. 10 a.m.-1 p.m. Enjoy a time to explore the grounds and artwork throughout the sculpture park and museum. Free. decordova.org.

Backyard and Beyond: Bring the Night Sky Inside. The Discovery Museums, 177 Main St., Acton. 2 p.m.-4 p.m. Drop by to learn what you might see in the winter night sky, how to use a star chart, and ideas for winter star-gazing. Free with admission. Members free, nonmembers $12.50, children under 1 free. discoverymuseums.org.

11 Wednesday ARTfull Play. deCordova Sculpture Park and Museum, 51 Sandy Pond Rd., Lincoln. 10:30 a.m.-11:30 a.m. Fill your day with art and play as inspiration from artist Ashley Bryan’s puppets and collage illustrations leads us to create puppets from layered construction paper. Designed for ages 2 to 5. Free with admission. Members free; nonmember adults $14, children 12 and under free. decordova.org.

Everyday Engineering: Tinfoil Ferries.

The Discovery Museums, 177 Main St., Acton.

2 p.m.-4:30 p.m. Engage in everyday engineering as you construct and create with repurposed and recycled materials as we test floating by building tinfoil boats and loading them with pennies until they sink. Free with admission.

Members free, nonmembers $12.50, children under 1 free. discoverymuseums.org.

“If Only” screening. 1 Lt. Charles W. Whitcomb School, 25 Union St., Marlborough.

7 p.m. A 38-minute film created to raise awareness about the dangers that lie in the use and misuse of prescription and recreational drugs.

Sponsored by Marlborough Substance Use Prevention Coalition. Free. Registration required at if-only-marlborough.eventbrite.com.

12 Thursday Imagine, Sing, and Learn: Ready for Winter. Joppa Flats Education Center, 1 Plum Island Turnpike, Newburyport. 9:30 a.m.-11 a.m. Enjoy this parent-child program featuring songs, movement, dramatic play, hands-on science, and a thematic snack as we learn about nature and the changes of winter. For families with children ages 3 to 6. Register ahead.

Member adults $6, children $5; nonmember adults $8, children $7. massaudubon.org.

Make a MESS: Making Tints and Shades.

The Discovery Museums, 177 Main St., Acton.

10 a.m.-11 a.m. Drop in and find out how many varieties of one color you can make, as we experiment by adding white and black to colored paint to make an endless number of tints

LEARN – TO – SKATE CLASSES RECREATIONAL • FIGURE • HOCKEY SKATING SKILLS

BAY STATE SKATING SCHOOL CHILDREN ages 4 1/2-18

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Appointments: 774-443-UMDS (8637) To find a physician, call 855-UMASS-MD.

781-890-8480

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Brookline Cambridge Medford Newton/Brighton Quincy Somerville South Boston Waltham West Roxbury Weymouth

and shades. Free with admission. Members free, nonmembers $12.50, children under 1 free. discoverymuseums.org.

Nature Adventure. Broad Meadow Brook Wildlife Sanctuary, 414 Massasoit Rd., Worcester. 1 p.m.-3 p.m. Join us for a handson nature program exploring nature topics indoors using investigations, crafts, and activities, before trekking out onto the 430-acre wildlife sanctuary. For ages 5 to 7. Register ahead.

Member children $9, nonmember children $13, adults free. massaudubon.org.

13 Friday Music and Movement with Miss Bernadette. The Discovery Museums, 177 Main St., Acton. 9:30 a.m.-10 a.m. Explore sound through singing and playing, as we move, make music, listen, learn, and get a multisensory workout from this trained musician and educator. Free with admission. Members free, nonmembers $12.50, children under 1 free. discoverymuseums.org.

Exploring Nano: The Smallest Science.

The Discovery Museums, 177 Main St., Acton.

2 p.m.-4:30 p.m. Join us for hands-on educational activities about nanoscale science, as we experiment with a metal that remembers its shape; see if you can make a nickel change colors. Free with admission. Members free,

OH, THE PLACES YOU’LL GO! nonmembers $12.50, children under 1 free.

Grafton. 7 p.m. Apple Tree Arts presents the tale of Alex the Lion, Marty the Zebra, Melman discoverymuseums.org. the Giraffe, and Gloria the Hippo as they escape Trail Detectives’ Club. Boston Nature Center, from New York’s Central Park Zoo to the crazy 500 Walk Hill St., Mattapan. 3:15 p.m.-4:45 tropical world of King Julien’s Madagascar. p.m. Drop in to this fun, hands-on nature club as Based on the animated smash movie, a second we follow animal tracks to uncover the secrets performance runs at 7 p.m. Jan. 14. Tickets $10 adults; $8 seniors & children 5 & older; of winter survival, as well as investigate other free for children 4 & younger. Tickets sold at the hidden stories of the winter landscape. For famidoor. appletreearts.org. lies with children ages 6 to 10. Register ahead.

Member children $5, nonmember children $7, Monster Jam Triple Threat Series. DCU adults free. massaudubon.org.

Center, Foster St., Worcester. 7 p.m. Athletes go head-to-head in seven different competitions Family Dinner Night. KITCHEN at Boston driving three different vehicles — Monster Jam Public Market, 100 Hanover St., Boston. trucks, Monster Jam Speedsters, and Monster 6 p.m.-8 p.m. Kick-start your family weekend Jam ATVs. Shows also 1 p.m. and 7 p.m. Jan. 14, during this unforgettable night featuring a tour and 1 p.m. Jan. 15. dcucenter.com. of what’s in season and a seasonally crafted feast at the end of class. Register ahead. Member Belmont Family Film Festival: Where adults $24, children $12; nonmember adults Books Come Alive! The Regent Theatre, $30, children $15. thetrustees.org.

7 Medford St., Arlington. 7 p.m. Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit + talk From the Top: Live Musical Performance. & autograph signing by Merlin Crossingham, Boston Children’s Museum, 308 Congress St., creative director for the Wallace & Gromit films.

Boston. 6 p.m. & 6:45 p.m. Enjoy an interactive Films throughout Jan. 15 at Studio Cinema, 376 musical presentation with talented young classical Trapelo Rr., Belmont; Belmont Media Center, musicians from National Public Radio’s program 9 Lexington St., Belmont; Brattle Theater, 40 From the Top. Free with admission. Members Brattle St., Cambridge. Tickets $6 and up. Full free, nonmembers $1, children under 1 free. schedule at belmontworldfilm.org. bostonchildresnmuseum.org.

Madagascar Jr. — A Musical Adventure.

Grafton Middle School, 20 Providence Road,

14 Saturday

Snowshoeing for Families. Broad Meadow

Brook Wildlife Sanctuary, 414 Massasoit Rd., Worcester. 10 a.m.-12 p.m. Learn how to use snowshoes before heading out on the trails, if Mother Nature has provided enough snow. For ages 5 and up. Register ahead. Member adults $8, children $4; nonmember adults $10, children $6. massaudubon.org.

Fantastic Mr. Fox. Coolidge Corner Theatre, 290 Harvard St., Brookline. 10:30 a.m. A stopmotion animation adaptation of the Roald Dahl book following Mr. and Mrs. Fox as their enjoyable life gets complicated when Mr. Fox plots the greatest chicken heist the animal world has ever seen. Adults $9, children $7. coolidge.org.

Bob the Magic Guy: Magic for Smart People. The Regent Theatre, 7 Medford St., Arlington. 10:30 a.m. A presentation that will make you believe in the impossible again, combining clever dialogue, a hat, slapstick comedy, stories, and a handful of tricks. Members $7; nonmember adults $10, children $8, ages 2 and under free. regenttheatre.com.

Stroller Tours at WAM. Worcester Art Museum, 55 Salisbury St., Worcester. 10:30 a.m.-11:15 a.m. Join us as a museum teacher engages with caretakers and their infants and toddlers with art and stories in the galleries, and tea, coffee, juice, and snacks following the tour.

Designed for ages up to 3. Free with admission.

Members free; nonmember adults $14, ages 4 to 17 $6, under age 4 free. worcesterart.org.

Ready to plan for Summer?

Summer fun for youth at the Craft Center starts

July 10-14 & July 17-21

Register online, in person, or by phone!

• Small Classes • Individual attention • • Expert instruction • Interdisciplinary content •

Be inspired and choose from a • Winter Session I begins January 9 • unique selection of after school • February Vacation Workshops • and weekend craft classes for • Winter Session II begins February 27 • Youth & Teens, 6-17!

worcestercraftcenter.org • 25 Sagamore Road, Worcester, MA • 508.753.8183 ext. 301 BAYSTATEPARENT 17

OH, THE PLACES YOU’LL GO!

Courtesy of the Fruitlands Museum & The Trustees or Reservations

15 Sunday

GO PLAY Family Fun Days: Historic Games.

Fruitlands Museum, Harvard. Jan. 21.

Wild Animals in Your Neighborhood. The Discovery Museums, 177 Main St., Acton.

12 p.m.-2 p.m. Enjoy a unique opportunity to see native animals up close with a trained naturalist from the Blue Hills Trailside Museum.

Free with admission. Members free, nonmembers $12.50, children under 1 free. discoverymuseums.org.

Especially for Me: Free Evening for Families with Deaf, hard of Hearing, or KODA Children. The Discovery Museums, 177 Main St., Acton. 5 p.m.-8:30 p.m. Explore the entire museum campus during this special evening closed to the general public, featuring ASL interpreters and dinner provided. Register ahead.

Free. discoverymuseums.org.

Grand Opening Continues Book your party now!

Birthday, Baby Shower, Girl Scout Badge Workshops and more!

145 Armsby Rd., Sutton, MA 508-841-5437 www.enchantedpassage.com 18 JANUARY2017

Story Times Author Events Book Clubs

Gift Cards available

Big Dreams for MLK Day. Beth El Temple Center, 2 Concord Ave., Belmont. 10 a.m.11:30 a.m. A musical celebration and community service event designed for young children.

Make care packages for Horizons for Homeless Children, then enjoy Scott Kepnes as he leads a foot-stomping, funky, rock-and-roll blend of interactive songs. Recommended for ages 3 to 6.

Register ahead. Free. bostonjcc.org.

O-shogatsu: Japanese New Year Festival. Boston Children’s Museum, 308 Congress St., Boston. 11 a.m.-4 p.m. Welcome New Year 2017 and bring good luck with Taiko drums, a Shishimai lion dance, Mochi pounding, and more. Free with admission. Members free, nonmembers $16, children under 1 free. bostonchildrensmuseum.org.

Experimazing: Fun Indoor and Outdoor Experiments. Boston Nature Center, 500 Walk Hill St., Mattapan. 12 p.m.-1:30 p.m. Turn your questions about plants and animals into fun indoor and outdoor investigations led by a naturalist. For ages 5 to 12. Member children $5, nonmember children $7, adults free. massaudubon.org.

Fun with Animal Footprints and Signs.

Broadmoor Wildlife Sanctuary, 280 Eliot St.,

Natick. 1 p.m.-2:15 p.m. Look for tracks and signs of otters, rabbits, deer, coyote, and many other animals, and learn about how they are active in the winter. For ages 6 to 16. Register ahead. Member adults $12, children $6; nonmember adults $14, children $8. massaudubon.org.

16 Monday Morningstar Access. Boston Children’s Museum, 308 Congress St., Boston. 8 a.m.10 a.m. Enjoy this morning specially designed to provide children with special needs an opportunity to visit the museum at a time when there are only a few other visitors. Register ahead.

Free with admission. Members free, nonmembers $16, children under 1 free. bostonchildrensmuseum.org.

Martin Luther King Jr. Day Open House.

Museum of Fine Arts: Boston, 465 Huntington Ave., Boston. 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Celebrate Martin Luther King Jr. Day by surrounding yourself with art, culture, and community, during a day filled with art-making, musical performances, an exploration of the African American experience from two contemporary artists, and more. Free. mfa.org.

Benkadi Drum and Dance: African Spirit.

John F. Kennedy Presidential Library and Museum, Columbia Point, Boston.

6665 CHS_AD_4.5x11_6665 CHS_Globe_VT_v1 12/19/16 2:12 PM Page 1

OH, THE PLACES YOU’LL GO! 10:30 a.m.-11:30 a.m. Join us on Martin Luther King Jr. Day as the multicultural Benkadi Drum and Dance groups return to perform new dances that showcase the traditional rhythms and movements from the countries of Mali and Guinea.

Free. jfklibrary.org.

Seussical: The Musical. Leventhal-Sidman JCC, 333 Nahanton St., Newton. 11 a.m. & 1 p.m. Theatreworks USA presents this unforgettable musical caper, seamlessly weaving together Dr. Seuss’s best-loved stories. Recommended for ages 3 and up. Purchase ahead. Members $15, nonmembers $18. bostonjcc.org.

Celebrating Black History in Concord.

The Old Manse, 269 Monument St., Concord.

1 p.m. & 3 p.m. In honor of Martin Luther King Jr. Day, explore the lives and labors of Frank, Cate, and Phyllis, enslaved at the Old Manse in 1770. Members $5; nonmember adults $10, children ages 6 to 12 $5. thetrustees.org.

17 Tuesday Snip and Tear. The Discovery Museum, 177 Main St., Acton. 10 a.m.-11 a.m. Drop in and show off your scissor skills, as you try cutting for the first time or use your hands to tear a collection of confetti. Free with admission.

Members free, nonmembers $12.50, children under 1 free. discoverymuseums.org.

“City Science: The Science You Live” exhibition opening. EcoTarium, 222 Harrington Way, Worcester. This 2,500-square-foot new permanent exhibit incorporates live animals, interactive components, and natural history specimens to give children and families the opportunity to experiment, engineer, and observe the science that is happening on their streets and neighborhoods. Exhibition is free, included with general admission. Tickets $15 for adults; $10 for children 2-18; $10 for seniors 65+ and students with ID; children under 2 are free. ecotarium.org.

3D Printing for Tweens. Newton Free Library, 30 Homer St., Newton. 2 p.m.-3 p.m. Learn how 3D printing works by designing your own three-dimensional creation. For grades 5 to 7.

Register ahead. Free. newtonfreelibrary.net.

Backyard and Beyond: Great Hill Exploration. The Discovery Museums, 177 Main St., Acton. 3:30 p.m. Explore some of the trails that wind through the wooded 184 acres. Free with admission. Members free, nonmembers $12.50, children under 1 free. discoverymuseums.org.

18 Wednesday 3D Printing Class for Children. Fitchburg Public Library, 610 Main St., Fitchburg. 2 p.m.3 p.m. Learn how to create a 3D print during this class that teaches children how 3D printing

works, and gives them a chance to work with design software and use the library’s 3D printer.

Free. fitchburgpubliclibrary.org.

19 Thursday Doggy Days: Taking Care of Abby. The Discovery Museums, 177 Main St., Acton.

10 a.m.-11 a.m. Drop in as Abby, a certified therapy dog, and her owner take time to show how much responsibility it takes to own a pet and love it as much as it loves you. Free with admission. Members free, nonmembers $12.50, children under 1 free. discoverymuseums.org.

Take Aparts. The Discovery Museums, 177 Main St., Acton. 2 p.m.-4:30 p.m. Drop in and learn about all that goes on in a telephone, computer, radio, and more electronic devices, by grabbing tools and going inside them yourself. Free with admission. Members free, nonmembers $12.50, children under 1 free. discoverymuseums.org.

Tinker Club. Newton Free Library, 30 Homer St., Newton. 4 p.m.-5 p.m. Hang out and play with our Code Newton grant robotics equipment, including littleBits, Hexbugs, Lego WeDo or Finch Robots.

For grades 5 to 7. Free. newtonfreelibrary.net.

20 Friday See, Think, and Wonder Walks. Joppa Flats Education Center, 1 Plum Island Turnpike, Newburyport. 2 p.m.-3 p.m. Enjoy as we track, follow, and find animal signs in our riverside yard; we focus on migrating birds and promote environmental awareness with energy and fun activities. For ages 3 to 6. Register ahead.

Member adults $6, children $5; nonmember adults $8, children $7. massaudubon.org.

Winter Warmth. The Discovery Museums, 177 Main St., Acton. 2 p.m.-4:30 p.m. Drop in and find out how animals keep warm by testing the insulating properties of feathers, fur, fat, and fleece, and see how leaves and dirt provide insulation for nests and burrows. Free with admission. Members free, nonmembers $12.50, children under 1 free. discoverymuseums.org.

Wild by the Fire. Drumlin Farm Wildlife Sanctuary, 208 South Great Rd., Lincoln.

3:30 p.m.-5 p.m. Meet furred and feathered creature and learn how they survive in the snow, as we make a sweet treat for the birds and warm up with cocoa and cookies. Register ahead.

Members $13.50, nonmembers $16.50. massaudubon.org.

Frozen Fun: Pick-up Hockey. Rocky Woods, 64 Rocky Woods Reservation Entrance, Medfield. 6 p.m.-8 p.m. Grab some friends and bring your own gear for an evening of pick-up hockey on our cozy cabin adjacent rink, with hot cocoa and snacks available. Recommended for ages 16 and up. Register ahead. Members $9, nonmembers $15. thetrustees.org.

Open House

Wednesday, April 12, 2017 8:30-10:00 am Beginners (Age 3) to Grade 6 Co-Educational Financial Aid Program Exceptional Secondary School Placement Afterschool Extended Day

The Chestnut Hill School

Educating. Engaging. Inspiring.

428 Hammond Street Chestnut Hill, MA 02467 617-566-4394

www.tchs.org

BAYSTATEPARENT 19

OH, THE PLACES YOU’LL GO! Teen Night at Drumlin Farm. Drumlin Farm Wildlife Sanctuary, 208 South Great Rd., Lincoln. 7 p.m.-10 p.m. Meet our community of nature-loving teens, as we explore the farm’s trails by moonlight, stargaze at the top of the drumlin, and listen for owls and night creatures, with music fireside. For ages 13 to 17. Register ahead. Members $15, nonmembers $18. massaudubon.org.

John Cleese and the Holy Grail. The Hanover Theatre for the Performing Arts, 2 Southbridge St., Worcester. 7:30 p.m.

Comedy legend John Cleese leads an unforgettable evening of conversation and audience Q&A, before watching Monty Python and the Holy Grail in its entirety. $79-$89. thehanovertheatre.org.

21 Saturday Time to Make the Donuts. Powisset Farm, 31 Powisset St., Dover. 10 a.m.-12 p.m. Come make biscuit donuts and French crullers during this entertaining mix of science and art, with plenty of tasting involved. Register ahead.

Members $32, nonmembers $40. thetrustees.org.

Mike the Bubble Man. Coolidge Corner Theatre, 290 Harvard St., Brookline. 10:30 a.m. Enjoy music, choreography, comedy, and bubbles of all shapes and sizes as Mike the Bubble Man brings to life these soapy creations to enliven the entire family. Recommended for ages 2 and up. Adults $13, children $10. coolidge.org.

Matt Roberts: Charismatic Comedy Magic. The Regent Theatre, 7 Medford St., Arlington. 10:30 a.m. Don’t miss out on this Emmy-nominated magician appearing as families fall into hysterics and become stars of the show themselves. Members $7; nonmember adults $10, children $8, children under 2 free. regenttheatre.com.

Tiny Trekkers. Stony Brook Wildlife Sanctuary, 108 North St., Norfolk. 10:30 a.m.-12 p.m.

Start your morning off right with a fun and knowledgeable Stony Brook teacher on the trails learning about nature, with crafts, activities, and lots of laughter. For ages 3 to 6. Register ahead.

Members $5, nonmembers $6. massaudubon.org.

Johnny Peers and The Muttville Comix.

TCAN: Center for Arts, 14 Summer St., Natick.

11 a.m. Join as this Ringling Brothers Clown College graduate brings his talents and his canines to tickle your funny bone. Adults $12, children $10. natickarts.org.

Family Fun Days: Historic Games.

Fruitlands Museum, 102 Prospect Hill Rd., Harvard. 12 p.m.-4 p.m. Try your hand at games of the 1800s from tabletop bowling to shooting marbles. Free with admission. Members 20 JANUARY2017

free, nonmembers ages 5 and up $5, children under age 5 free. fruitlands.org.

Guided Snowshoe Walk. Boston Nature Center, 500 Walk Hill St., Mattapan. 1 p.m.2 p.m. Discover the beauty of the winter world without trudging through the snow, but on the top of it. For families with children ages 5 and up. Members $5, nonmembers $7. massaudubon.org.

Afternoon Chores and More. Drumlin Farm Wildlife Sanctuary, 208 South Great Rd., Lincoln. 3:30 p.m.-5 p.m. Feed chickens and collect their eggs, bring hay to the sheep, goats and cows, and then treat yourself to a farmfresh snack. For ages 4 to 12. Register ahead.

Members $13.50, nonmembers $16.50. massaudubon.org.

Chickadee Birders: Owl Residents of Drumlin Farm. Drumlin Farm Wildlife Sanctuary, 208 South Great Rd., Lincoln. 6:30 p.m.-8:30 p.m. Take a hike through the woods in search of owls that live in the habitats of the sanctuary, and then move inside for a closer look. For ages 7 to 10. Register ahead. Members $13, nonmembers $16. massaudubon.org.

Owl Prowl. Broad Meadow Brook Wildlife Sanctuary, 414 Massasoit Rd., Worcester. 6:30 p.m.-8:30 p.m. Play owl games and learn fun facts about the nocturnal animals, then search the sanctuary for these magnificent creatures.

For ages 5 and up. Register ahead. Member adults $7, children $4; nonmember adults $9, children $6. massaudubon.org.

22 Sunday Tracks and Signs: Reading a Story. Boston Nature Center, 500 Walk Hill St., Mattapan.

10:30 a.m.-12 p.m. Learn about the life histories of local wildlife and the different types of tracks and signs that they leave behind, as we make our very own Track ID books. For ages 5 to 12.

Member children $5, nonmember children $7, adults free. massaudubon.org.

Backyard and Beyond: Winter Scavenger Hunt. The Discovery Museums, 177 Main St., Acton. 11 a.m. Bundle up and get outdoors with us for a winter nature scavenger hunt on the Great Hill conservation land, as we search for animals, insects, and plants during this fun-filled walk in the woods. Free with admission. Members free, nonmembers $12.50, children under 1 free. discoverymuseums.org.

Winter Wonders: Who’s Sleepy? Drumlin Farm Wildlife Sanctuary, 208 South Great Rd., Lincoln. 11 a.m.-12 p.m. Explore the farm and sanctuary in winter as we feed hay to the sheep, search for eggs in our hen house, and make a winter “tweet” for the birds. For ages up to 6.

Register ahead. Members $12.50, nonmembers

$15.50. massaudubon.org.

26 Thursday

ARTfull Explorations. deCordova Sculpture Park and Museum, 51 Sandy Pond Rd., Lincoln.

1 p.m.-3 p.m. Explore the sculpture park installations and museum exhibitions as a family.

Investigate the ideas of puppetry and illustration before taking inspiration from what we’ve seen and crafting. Free with admission. Members free; nonmember adults $14, children 12 and under free. decordova.org

Make a MESS: Paint with What? The Discovery Museums, 177 Main St., Acton.

10 a.m.-11 a.m. Drop in and see if you can create a painting with a toy dinosaur, a cup, a car, and more objects that are definitely nontraditional. Free with admission. Members free, nonmembers $12.50, children under 1 free. discoverymuseums.org.

Mass Motion Dance Project. Boston Children’s Museum, 308 Congress St., Boston.

1:30 p.m. & 3:30 p.m. Enjoy a contemporary dance performance by students from Mass Motion Dance Project, a community service student group committed to sharing the art of dance in a variety of local venues. Free with admission.

Members free, nonmembers $16, children under 1 free. bostonchildrensmuseum.org.

Fire Worship. The Old Manse, 289 Monument St., Concord. 6 p.m.-7:30 p.m. Experience the 1770s house on a winter evening, through rooms lit only by candlelight and enjoy smores around a real fire. Designed for children 8 and up.

Members $5; nonmember adults $10, children ages 6 to 12 $5. thetrustees.org.

23 Monday Chessmates. Newton Free Library, 30 Homer St., Newton. 6:30 p.m.-8 p.m. Have fun playing chess with general instruction and open play, with puzzles, strategy, chess sets all provided. For ages 6 to 9. Free. newtonfreelibrary.net.

24 Tuesday Icy Investigations. The Discovery Museums, 177 Main St., Acton. 10 a.m.-11 a.m. Drop in and experiment with different types of salt to explore the unique characteristics of this solid state of water, and add in some liquid watercolors to discover just how cool science can be. Free with admission. Members free, nonmembers $12.50, children under 1 free. discoverymuseums.org.

Matt Heaton Family Singalong. Newton Free Library, 30 Homer St., Newton. 11 a.m.-11:45 a.m. Come enjoy as the Toddlerbilly Troubadour, Matt Heaton, brings infectious energy to his music for the entire family to enjoy with his guitar and banjo to boot.

25 Wednesday Stuffed Animal Storytime. Worcester Public Library: Main Branch, 3 Salem Sq., Worcester.

10 a.m.-10:45 a.m. Bring your stuffed animal pal to the library for stories, songs, and parachute fun. For ages 18 months to 3. Free. mywpl.org.

On the Rise. Drumlin Farm Wildlife Sanctuary, 208 South Great Rd., Lincoln. 10 a.m.11:30 a.m. Mix, knead, and shape your dough for delicious country oat bread, while we make butter to spread on your warm, oven-fresh bread as it bakes. For families with children ages up to 8. Register ahead. Members $13.50, nonmembers $16.50. massaudubon.org.

Family Literacy Nights. Mill Swan School, 337 Mill St., Worcester. 5:30 p.m.-7 p.m.

Come as children count, explore, and analyze each other at set-up stations, while also having fun time during a special story-time with songs.

For families with children under 8. Register ahead. Free. worcesterschools.org.

CIRQUE Dreams: Jungle Fantasy. The Hanover Theatre for the Performing Arts, 2 Southbridge St., Worcester. 7:30 p.m. Enjoy this performance by the worldwide lauded troupe, during acrobatic acts amongst flowers, magical trees, and a variety of special effects and featuring butterfly ballet and flipping monkeys. $39-$59. thehanovertheatre.org.

27 Friday Warm and Wooly. Drumlin Far Wildlife Sanctuary, 208 South Great Rd., Lincoln.

3:30 p.m.-5 p.m. As it’s almost lambing time, take care of the momma ewes with some pampering. For families with children up to age 8.

Register ahead. Members $12.50, nonmembers $15.50. massaudubon.org.

Let’s Story: Artist-in-Residence Family Workshop. Boston Children’s Museum, 308 Congress St., Boston. 6 p.m.-7:30 p.m.

Join Joanna Tam, the Boston Children’s Museum 2016-2017 current artist-in-residence, as she shares a workshop showcasing the techniques that brought her to the installation and interactive pieces that are featured in her museum work, Let’s Story. Free with admission. Members free, nonmembers $1, children under 1 free. bostonchildrensmuseum.org.

Star Gazing Nights. Moose Hill Wildlife Sanctuary, 293 Moose Hill Parkway, Sharon.

6:30 p.m.-8:30 p.m. Join local astronomers for a look at the stars and other night objects through big telescopes. For ages 6 and up. Free. massaudubon.org.

OH, THE PLACES YOU’LL GO!

28 Saturday Play Date: Family Film Program. The Institute of Contemporary Art: Boston, 25 Harbor Shore Dr., Boston. 10 a.m.-4 p.m. Don’t miss a variety of short films including animation, live action, experimental, and documentary films, as well as films made by kids. Free with admission.

Members free; nonmember adults $15, under 18 free. icaboston.org.

Matias Latelier: Chilean Magician, Mentalist, and Pickpocket. The Regent Theatre, 7 Medford St., Arlington. 10:30 a.m.

A member of the Magic Circle of Chile and the Yale University Magic Society, Latelier performs close-up magic with energy, illusions, mind games, and interaction. Members $7; nonmember adults $10, children $8, children 2 and under free. regenttheatre.com.

Tanglewood Marionettes: The Dragon King. John F. Kennedy Presidential Library and Museum, Columbia Point, Boston. 10:30 a.m.11:30 a.m. Journey below the sea in this story of fantasy, courage, and wonder from Chinese folklore on the Lunar New Year. Free. jfklibrary.org.

Winter Backyard Birding. Boston Nature Center, 500 Walk Hill St., Mattapan.

10:30 a.m.-12 p.m. Come as we learn how to use binoculars, go on a bird hike, and create seed and fruit art for the birds to enjoy. For families with ages 5 to 12. Register ahead. Member children $5, nonmember children $7, adults free. massaudubon.org.

Jenny the Juggler. TCAN: Center for Arts, 14 Summer St., Natick. 11 a.m. Enjoy Boston’s best and only female professional juggler as she brings her talents to Natick. Adults $10, children $8. natickarts.org.

National Kazoo Day. The Discovery Museums, 177 Main St., Acton. 11 a.m.-2 p.m. Drop in and make some noise for National Kazoo Day as we craft some of our own unique noisemakers from sound sandwiches to laughing cups. Free with admission. Members free, nonmembers $12.50, children under 1 free. discoverymuseums.org.

Tully Lake Winter Camp Out. Tully Lake Campground, Doane Hill Rd., Royalston.

11 a.m.-2 p.m. Sunday. Come out to Tully Lake as we learn all the important skills to make winter camping fun, before a weekend of activities from fire making, snow shelter building, outdoor cooking, smores, cocoa, and more. Register ahead. Members $15, nonmembers $25. thetrustees.org.

Be Well Series: Dental Health Awareness.

Boston Children’s Museum, 308 Congress St., Boston. 11 a.m.-3 p.m. Smile and learn how to take care of your teeth through proper tooth brushing and flossing to keep cavities away. Free

with admission. Members free, nonmembers $16, children under 1 free. bostonchildrensmuseum.org.

Snowshoe Walk or Winter Hike. Wachusett Meadow Sanctuary, 113 Goodnow Rd., Princeton. 1 p.m.-3 pm. Enjoy a winter hike, snowshoe hike depending on the snow levels, leading always to a hot chocolate drinking and toasting marshmallow by campfire session. For ages 7 and up. Register ahead. Member adults $7, children $4; nonmember adults $9, children $5. massaudubon.org.

Family Owl Prowl. Blue Hills Trailside Museum, 1904 Canton Ave., Milton. 7 p.m.-9 p.m. Discover some of the unique adaptations of owls, practice owl calls, and meet some of the museum’s resident owls before going on a night hike to search for them. For ages 6 and up.

Register ahead. Members $8, nonmembers $10. massaudubon.org.

The Poor Yoricks: An Evening of Improv.

Powisset Farm, 31 Powisset St., Dover. 7:30 p.m.-9:30 p.m. Join us for some fun and laughter during this first Improv Night led by the locally based and wildly talented Hamlet-derived Improv Troupe. Register ahead. Members $15, nonmembers $25. thetrustees.org.

29 Sunday

Corner Theatre, 290 Harvard St., Brookline.

10 a.m. Enjoy this resplendent and magical classic fairy tale, following the Princess Aurora falls into a 100-year slumber on her 16th birthday following a curse by the evil Carabosse. $23. coolidge.org.

Family Fun with Music. Morse Institute Library, 14 East Central St., Natick. 3 p.m.4:30 p.m. The Wellesley Symphony Orchestra introduces you to the instruments they play; hear, see, and learn about what makes an orchestra. Free. morseinstitute.org.

Nature Story Hour. Boston Nature Center, 500 Walk Hill St., Mattapan. 10 a.m.-11 a.m.

Listen to a nature-themed story and then join our teacher naturalist for a short walk around the trails. For ages up to 3. Members free; nonmember adults free, children $5. massaudubon.org.

30 Monday

Artbarn: The Enchanted Forrest. Coolidge Corner Theatre, 290 Harvard St., Brookline.

10:30 a.m. Join Artbarn’s Traveling Geese Touring Company as they venture into the Enchanted Forrest and travel through the woods on a family vacation turned misadventure.

Recommended for ages 3 and up. Adults $13, children $10. coolidge.org.

The Science of Snow. Boston Nature Center, 500 Walk Hill St., Mattapan. 1 p.m.-2:30 p.m.

Come with us as we learn why all snowflakes are unique and discover how the properties of snow help animals survive in the winter, before we mix up some natural ice cream using science.

For families with children ages 5 to 12. Member children $5, nonmember children $7, adults free. massaudubon.org.

Little Ones Story and Craft Time. Newton Free Library, 30 Homer St., Newton. 2 p.m.2:30 p.m. Listen to a story, sing some songs, and make a craft at the library. For ages 2 to 4. Free. newtonfreelibrary.net.

Sophisticated Stories. Newton Free Library, 30 Homer St., Newton. 7:30 p.m.-8:15 p.m.

Enjoy cool, strange, weird, and wacky picture books, proving that you are never too old for some fun. For grades 3 and up. Free. newtonfreelibrary.net.

31 Tuesday National Backwards Day Storytime.

The Discovery Museums, 177 Main St., Acton.

10 a.m. Join us for some silly stories and activities in honor of National Backwards Day. Free with admission. Members free, nonmembers $12.50, children under 1 free. discoverymuseums.org.

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5 Ways to

Help Kids

Manage Tragedy

BY JENNIFER SHEEHY EVERETT

T

he innocence of youth is fleeting, and in the wake of all-too-frequent reports of tragedy from shootings, terrorism, and natural disasters, it feels impossible to preserve.

Children today can easily access painstaking details, eyewitness accounts, and vivid images and videos of breaking tragedies through social media and news reports. What doesn’t flow from these channels reaches them in classrooms and schoolyards where childhood chatter is often rife with misinformation and speculation. This reality underscores the critically important role that parents and caretakers can play in helping children to understand and process devastating events that, at times, are even challenging for adults to bear.

The impact of tragedy on children varies greatly based on a child’s age, temperament, and developmental level.

“Children have a different intellectual understanding of these types of events and process them differently than adults,” said Dr. Bob Lichtenstein, director of the school of psychology doctoral program at William James College in Newton.

“Young children may not appreciate the distance away that something has occurred or the level of threat.

They may believe that an event is likely to happen to them because it’s something that happened to children like them. Adolescents may be better able to understand what happened,

22 JANUARY2017

yet have other things on their minds to crowd it out. Some can seem oddly oblivious to it. Or, the reverse happens — an event triggers anxious or fearful associations, especially if they are already concerned about threats to their well-being or have been exposed to trauma, violence, serious injury, or death.”

Mental health experts agree that it is natural for children to show some type of reaction to high-profile tragedies, and most will be upset initially then see those feelings pass.

Dr. Kathleen Trainor, a behavioral

times bedwetting,” Trainor said.

“Older children can also experience nightmares or they will talk about the event repeatedly and seem unable to put it to rest. Adolescents, on the other hand, may not talk as much, but may act out or exhibit aggressive behavior, use alcohol or drugs, and not admit what’s really bothering them. Children of all ages may also share physical complaints (headache, stomachache, etc.) when there is no medical reason. They don’t always have the words to express how they feel, but they do

“Gauge where your children are related to an event and meet them there. It comes down to knowing your child.”

— Aaron VanDeKoppel, elementary school counselor

therapist specializing in anxiety in children and author of Calming Your Anxious Child: Words to Say and Things to Do, suggests that parents and caretakers keep close watch for children who still show signs of distress after a couple of weeks.

“Signs of distress in young children can include regressive behavior, clinginess, nightmares, and some-

know how to say, ‘I don’t feel well’ or ‘My stomach or head hurts.’”

There is some expert debate about the benefit of talking proactively to children of all ages about tragic events. Some suggest that children younger than 5 do not need to be told about these events. Others recognize that even very young children hear and see things in our connect-

ed society, and that there is great benefit to being one step ahead of children in the wake of high-profile events. The following expert tips will help guide parents who see the value in engaging with their children about the unspeakable events that impact us all.

• Take cues from your child.

“Address the event in an open-ended way,” Trainor suggested. “Start by asking your children what they’ve heard about it (from friends, at school, etc.). You can then correct what they have heard if they are misinformed, and let them know that you are happy to answer their questions. At the same time, you don’t want to force a child to talk about things they don’t want to talk about.

Kids are kids, and many are not as distressed as you’d expect.”

Aaron VanDeKoppel, elementary school counselor and regional trainer for ALICE (alicetraining.com), a safety training program focused on active shooter events and practiced in many schools, echoes Trainor’s recommendation.

“Gauge where your children are related to an event and meet them there,” VanDeKoppel added. “It comes down to knowing your child, what is developmentally appropriate for them, and how they take in and interpret information when you have a conversation with them.

It’s also important for parents to understand their own perspectives, concerns, and triggers about an event. Children learn about the

is particularly useful to empower children — especially teenagers — to join a community organization or do something to help the victims.”

world through parents, and we have to be careful how and what we communicate to them and that we’re not projecting our concerns onto them.”

Trainor reminds that it is OK for parents to show their children that they are upset about an event. However, children should not become a sounding board for an adult’s anxiety or the primary support for the parent. Anxiety is contagious, according to Trainor, and parents who are experiencing heightened anxiety about an event should seek help from a friend or mental health professional outside their immediate family network.

• Have a plan for the information you will share. “Parents should use simpler messages with younger children and focus on being reassuring,” Lichtenstein said. “For example, ‘This [event] is something that happened far away — you don’t really need to worry about it.’ Adolescents, on the [other] hand, will want to know particulars. It’s helpful for them to hear that there have been only [five] similar incidents across the country. They will be able to apply this type of information to their understanding of the event.”

Children of all ages benefit most from reassurance that much is being done — by parents, caretakers, schools, etc. — to ensure their continued safety. “This shifts focus from the thing that happened to all of the good that people are doing to help and prevent something similar from happening again,” Trainor noted. “It

• Manage media exposure. Studies that examined the impact of television viewing in the wake of 9/11 confirmed that children, in particular, can be traumatized by seeing images of mass tragedy. Children with the greatest exposure to images are more likely to suffer from anxiety. In the wake of the November 2015 Paris attacks, the American Academy of Pediatrics reinforced the lasting effects of violence on children (even if only exposed to it through the news media) and the importance of parents and caretakers limiting what children see in the wake of an event.

Adolescents and even middleschoolers who are learning about current events may, however, be eager to watch news reports to better understand what occurred.

Some experts suggest co-viewing of news programs so parents can help children understand what they see and make sense of it. With middle schoolers, it can be more appropriate for parents to record and preview the news and watch it with children if the content is suitable. News outlets differ in their approach to reporting on tragedy, and those that tend to showcase graphic images should be avoided.

• Boost family time. Keeping family routines intact will help maintain a sense of normalcy for children in the face of tragedy. Building in even more family time — dedicated time together at the dinner table or a more substantive bedtime ritual with smaller children — should further bolster a child’s sense of security.

“Kids need connection to their parents and siblings a bit more when something terrible happens. Families can be very grounding,” Trainor said.

• Don’t hesitate to engage a professional. Children are resilient, and some bounce back from tragedy more quickly than adults. Others may struggle to move beyond an event, regardless of the support they receive from loved ones, teachers, etc. For these children (and their families), experts recommend finding a mental health professional who specializes in addressing anxiety in children and supporting parents in need of tailored guidance and tools.

This village of support may be just the key to helping these children successfully weather the unspeakable events that cause children and adults alike to pause and reflect.

Parents in need of additional guidance on how to help children navigate tragic events can visit HealthyChildren.org, an online resource powered by the American Academy of Pediatrics.

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Superfood Salads are Winter Wonders

BY MARTHA RUCH

It may be the start of a new year, but we are knee-deep in winter in the northeast. During the colder months, we tend to gravitate toward warm and filling stews, casseroles, baked pasta dishes and roasted meats — meals that seem heavy in the warmer months but are just right when the temperature dips below freezing and it’s dark hours before dinnertime.

I like to lighten the winter plate with salad. Yes, that’s right, salad.

Not your run-of-the-mill iceberg or

Mexi-Kale Salad

Casablanca Carrot Salad

10 oz. kale (I prefer lacinato kale or baby kale), bite-size pieces with stems removed 1 cup thinly sliced radishes ½ cup roasted, salted pepitas ½ cup shaved Manchego cheese (use your vegetable peeler for this)

1 pound carrots, shredded 2 large scallions, sliced ½ cup golden or regular raisins 2 T toasted sesame seeds Dressing: Scant ½ cup canola or other neutral-tasting oil 2 T red wine vinegar 1 t Dijon mustard Minced or pressed garlic (or garlic paste), to taste ¼ t salt 1/8 t pepper 1 t paprika 1 t ground cumin 1 t ground coriander ½ t cinnamon Combine shredded carrots, sliced scallions, raisins, and sesame seeds in a large bowl.

Combine dressing ingredients in a 1-cup measuring cup or small bowl, and whisk until combined. Pour dressing over carrot salad, a little at a time, and toss to combine. Continue to add dressing until the salad is dressed to your liking. You might have a little extra dressing. Taste the salad, and add more salt to taste. Serve immediately, or cover and store in the refrigerator for up to 2 days.

24 JANUARY2017

romaine, though. I’m talking about superfood salads, made with richly colored fruits and vegetables and bursting with flavor and nutrition.

Not only do these dishes offer a crisp, fresh contrast to the meal, but the nutritional aspects are also nothing to sneeze at.

While there’s no official definition of a superfood, you’ve probably heard that superfoods contain high levels of vitamins and minerals and are a source of antioxidants, powerful tools in fighting the inflamma-

Dressing: Juice of 2 limes (about ¼ cup) ¼ cup olive oil ¼ cup canola oil ¼ cup agave nectar 1 scallion, chopped Combine kale and radishes in a large bowl.

Toss with some of the dressing and garnish the salad with the pepitas and cheese.

Combine the dressing ingredients in a blender or immersion blender cup. Puree and add salt and pepper to taste.

Use to dress the kale salad right before serving.

The above recipe is based on one found at wegmans.com.

tion that is the root of many illnesses. But, wait, there’s more good news: It’s easy to swap out your boring lettuce and mushy apples.

Just look for darker-colored versions of your favorites: Think blue, purple, dark green, and orange when you hit the produce aisle or winter farmer’s market.

Here are recipes for a few of my favorite “superfood salads” to get you started.

Sesame-Garlic Broccoli Salad 1 t red wine vinegar ½ t kosher salt 1 large head broccoli, cut into bite-sized florets 3 to 4 T olive oil 1 clove garlic, minced 1 t cumin seeds 1 t dark sesame oil Pinch of crushed red pepper flakes Optional: toasted sesame seeds Stir together vinegar and salt in a large bowl. Add broccoli and toss to combine.

Heat olive oil in a small skillet. Add garlic and cumin seeds and stir until fragrant, 30 seconds or so. Remove from heat and stir in sesame oil and crushed red pepper flakes.

Pour mixture over broccoli and toss well to combine. Let sit for at least one hour.

Then cover and refrigerate until serving.

Add more vinegar or salt if you’d like, and garnish with sesame seeds.

The above recipe is based on one found in The New York Times.

Sunshine Fruit Salad

Garnishes: Pomegranate seeds and/or toasted coconut

2 cups pineapple, cut into bite-size pieces 4 large navel oranges, supremed (peeled with segments cut away from membranes) 2 large grapefruit, supremed

Combine citrus fruits in a bowl. Cover and refrigerate. Before serving, top with pomegranate seeds and/or coconut.

Winter Farmer’s Markets in Massachusetts

TheHanoverTheatre.org/conservatory Ring in the New Year with One of Your Favorite Things!

Farmer’s markets aren’t just for summer! Get delicious, fresh food and support your local farmers by stopping by markets over the winter, when the fun and food move indoors.

• Boston Public Market, 100 Hanover St., Boston: Indoor year-round marketplace featuring food grown, produced, and caught in New England. Also offers family and children’s programming at The Kitchen. Monday-Saturday 8 a.m. – 8 p.m.; Sunday 10 a.m. – 8 p.m. bostonpublicmarket.org • Canal District Farmers’ Market, Crompton Place, Worcester: The outdoor market moves indoors during the winter. Saturdays, 9 a.m.-noon. canaldistrictfarmersmarket.com • Natick Farmers Market, Common Street Spiritual Center, Natick: The outdoor market moves indoors during the winter. Saturdays, 9 a.m.–1 p.m. natickfarmersmarket.com • Original Easton Farmers Market, Saturdays 10 a.m.-2 p.m.. easton.ma.us/ boards_and_committees/agricultural_commission/click_here.php • Downtown Pittsfield Winter Farmers Market at the Boys and Girls Club Lighthouse, 2nd Saturday of every month. Fresh produce, pasture-raised meats, eggs, cheese, bread, baked goods, wine, and coffee.

• Pawtucket (RI) Wintertime Farmers Market, Saturdays, 9 a.m. – 1 p.m. farmfresh.org/food/farmersmarkets_details.php?market=29 • Woonsocket (RI) Farmers Market, Tuesdays 3 p.m. – 6 p.m. farmfresh.org/ food/farmersmarkets_details.php?market=23

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Mini-Popcorn Boasts Major Flavor Start your new year with a new version of a classic snack. The Little Kernel is billed as “mini-popcorn” and provides a better-for-you treat by using gluten-free, non-GMO, dairy-free, and certified whole grain ingredients, as well as 100% pure olive oil to pop the kernels. The Little Kernel comes in six flavors: Truffle Sea Salt, Sweet & Salty, Pink Himalayan Salt, White Cheddar, Butter, and Naked (No Salt Added). To find a store near you that sells The Little Kernel, which retails for $3.49, head to thelittlekernel.com/find-us.

Bites

What You’ll See With FDA’s New Restaurant Menu Labeling More than one-third of the calories Americans eat and drink come from food and beverages consumed away from home, so families need nutrition information when they eat out.

Calorie counts will now appear on menus and menu boards of establishments covered by the federal menu labeling rule. This includes chain restaurants, take-out and delivery food places, salad and hot-food bars, and even some movie theaters that are part of a chain with 20 or more locations. You may have noticed some places posting calorie counts already, but all restaurants covered by the rule must post calorie counts in accordance with the rule by May 5, 2017.

Among the info you’ll see: • Calories from alcohol are often overlooked, so the counts for certain alcoholic beverages in food establishments covered by the rule will also be listed on the menu.

• To help consumers put calorie information in the con-

text of their total daily diet, the rule calls for the following reminder to be included on menus and menu boards: “2,000 calories a day is used for general nutrition advice, but calorie needs vary.” This will be in sync with a similar footnote on the new Nutrition Facts label.

• Certain vending machines will post calorie counts for the foods they sell.

Susan Mayne, director of FDA’s Center for Food Safety and Applied Nutrition, says, “Consumers are used to seeing calorie counts on the Nutrition Facts label for foods on supermarket shelves. Now with menu labeling, they will have calorie information and access to other nutrient information when they eat away from home, as well. When you know that lunch at a fast food chain can add up to a day’s worth of calories, it really puts it all in perspective.”

Other nutrition information, though not posted, will be available on request. Examples include information on sodium, saturated fat, fiber, and protein.

Cook Up Some Sci-Fi in Your Kitchen

Make Your Cast Iron Last a Lifetime The kitchen staple cast-iron pan is hot again, as a new generation of foodies discover its many benefits, especially the seasoning that builds up on the pan after months, years, or decades of use. Yet cleaning cast iron has been a challenge for many. You can’t put it in the dishwasher, and aficionados say hand washing with soap will damage that precious seasoning. So, how do you clean out your cast iron?

Enter The Ringer, an 8x6-inch, stainless-steel chainmail scrubber that, with just warm water, removes any pan residue while leaving the seasoning intact. The Ringer won’t rust, snap, or break, and is a fantastic way to keep your cast iron clean — and cooking — for years to come. $14.99. amazon.com.

26 JANUARY2017

January is National Hot Tea Month and there’s a new Star Wars movie, Rogue One, in theaters, making this the perfect time to kick back with this cute BB-8 teapot set from Underground Toys. The nested teapot and cup set features a 12-ounce pot and a 6-ounce cup, all designed to resemble the astromech droid that stole 2015’s The Force Awakens. The company also offers two other fun kitchen accessories for the Star Wars fan, the I Am Darth Vader apron and the BB-8 Kitchen Timer. $29.99 (teapot set), $19.99 (apron or kitchen timer). underground-toys.com.

Wonder Water: 6 Unexpected Infused Water Ideas for Gorgeous Skin While most dermatologists and doctors preach the benefits of drinking more water, it gets boring. Here are six fresh infused water recipes that’ll pack a punch of flavor and add health and beauty benefits to your H2O! If you’re new to infused water, it’s easy.

Chop up the ingredients, let them sit overnight in your water pitcher, and sip your way to healthy hydration inside and out.

1. Mango Ginger This combo might seem weird, but adding the health benefits of ginger

and the antioxidant power of mangoes is a surprisingly tasty mix.

“Mangoes contain so many vitamins that help boost your immune system.

It has antioxidants that maintain youthful, glowing skin and aid in the production of blood cells,” says Dr. Christopher Calapai, an anti-aging expert. “Ginger is also helpful in fighting infection, has been linked to lower cholesterol levels, may reduce muscle aches, and helps digestion.”

2. Grapefruit Rosemary Recently rosemary was found to

NEW YEAR! NEW YOU! NEW LOCATION!

be the main ingredient eaten by residents of an Italian village with one of the highest populations of people who live past 100. “Rosemary improves circulation and sends more blood to the brain, which is linked to greater concentration and potentially reduces risk of Alzheimer’s,” Dr. Calapai says. Grapefruit is not only delicious, but it’s also a natural fat burner, boosts metabolism, and cleanses your liver.

3. Melon Mix Cut up watermelon, honeydew, and cantaloupe chunks and throw into your water overnight. “This melon variety tastes great and is amazing for your skin,” says Dr. Kally Papantoniou, board certified dermatologist and clinical instructor at Mt. Sinai Hospital in New York. “Melons are immensely hydrating, meaning more hydration per cup of water. They are also chockfull of antioxidants that keep skin clear, plus they contain vitamins that promote collagen production, which helps skin cell turnover.”

4. Citrus Mint Pick your favorite citrus fruits, cut up into slices, and add some crushed mint. “Adding mint to your water is not only extra refreshing but it also improves digestive health and can speed up your metabolism,” Dr. Calapai says. “Mint actually contains salicylic acid, a potent acne fighter,” Dr. Papantoniou adds. “It’s also well

known for it’s anti-inflammatory properties, which work to calm irritation both on your skin or internally.”

5. Cucumber Lavender “The reason so many spas use cucumber-based treatments is because it contains many skin-friendly minerals like magnesium, potassium and silicon,” Dr. Papantoniou says. “This mix is especially healthy,” Dr. Calapai notes. “Cucumbers are powerful detoxifiers, flushing out any waste in your system. Adding crushed lavender to the mix not only adds a beautiful aroma, but can also help digestion as lavender contains polyphenols that reduce bad bacteria in your gut, making your system run smoother.”

6. Pineapple Coconut Water This one is almost cheating… almost. Get your favorite storebought raw coconut water and refrigerate overnight with large chunks of pineapple. The coconut-pineapple flavor combo is delicious and reminiscent of a piña colada — without all the sugar and calories. Although this is not pure H2O, coconut water contains electrolytes that plain water does not, which rehydrate you in record time. “Pineapple is yet another fruit that aids in collagen production,” Dr. Papantoniou says. “This is not just great for beautiful skin, collagen also has a major role in bone health and tissue repair.”

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The Price Of Over Parenting If you’re parenting in 2017, you are part of a group spending 100% more money on your children since the 1970s, according to a report from the University of Pennsylvania. The richest among us have simply ramped up the dollar amounts. The poorest are maintaining the same levels, but using a bigger portion of income.

What’s up? Well, basically, we’re terrified of our kids being left behind, and we’re worried missteps will be our fault because we didn’t buy the new equipment, voice lessons, learning toys, organic sleepwear, private acupuncturists, or brand-name sneakers.

Here’s the problem: This spending can very possibly result in the opposite of what we intend, causing emotional scars and irreparably cracking the foundations that can really launch these little guys into greatness. Here are just three agerelated expenses we’re better off — financially and emotionally — without.

Newborn: Becoming a parent is the most thrilling and transforming of all life events. Not to mention the one that involves the most responsibility. That’s the attitude that makes a profit-seeking industry salivate. Customers are emotional, inexperienced, terrified, and deeply committed to the cause for which they’re shopping.

To protect against the dangers at bedtime, you’re ready to invest in a baby monitor, big time. Video monitors, sometimes costing $350, make it possible to watch real-time footage of your baby — even sending the action to your smartphone.

But what if the real price is compromised security for your family? Because, let’s be clear, these machines can be hacked.

Ohio parents Adam and Heather Schreck told Fox News they were asleep when they heard a man yelling, “Wake up baby, wake up!” at their 10-month old daughter.

Heather checked the wireless video monitor and saw the camera was panning, seemingly by itself. Adam raced in and the camera rotated toward him.

Good news, traditional baby monitors are still sold for about $13.95.

How a step back will benefit your children and your cash flow

BY BRETT GRAFF

These are typically handy at night when we’re sleeping and wouldn’t otherwise hear our babies’ cries, nature’s alerts to the fact our child needs something. It’s the audio, not the video, that would notify you the child wanted to be changed or, perhaps, simply some conversation.

Preschool: Companies are everywhere selling us the idea that if our toddlers learn now, they’ll achieve greater academic success later. That’s true! Kids who start ahead stay ahead. That’s why many of us are carting our kids off to learning centers after school and on weekends, taking classes for some $200 a month in which kids as young as 2 do worksheets for math and reading. Success is based on speed and accuracy.

Meanwhile, Dr. Kenneth Ginsburg, a pediatrician specializing in adolescent medicine at the Children’s Hospital of

Philadelphia, went before a congressional subcommittee on behalf of the American Academy of Pediatrics and defended our children’s right to play.

Ginsburg points out that unstructured play for kids — letting them create the activity and the rules — is essential to their cognitive advancements and brain development. It enhances their learned readiness, learning behaviors, and their problem-solving skills. It burns calories and it’s intellectually enriching.

Elementary and middle school: Got a talented kid? You’re probably going to seek the services of coaches and music teachers, equipment salespeople and advice counselors, all of whom we as parents believe know better than we do. And who profits from our parenting pursuits? These teachers and coaches dangle carrots of high achievement in front of us. We salivate.

And while there’s certainly a potential

upside to cultivating our kids’ talents, there’s also a potential downside. We’ve spent years paying professionals to prop up our kids.

They also cheer on our children with the kind of encouragement that fuels our desire to pay for more lessons. While our kids are in full earshot, we’ll discuss with these coaches their exceptional abilities. The coach’s tone implies it’s very real.

Know what else is real?

Narcissism. Today, 30% more college-age kids will give narcissistic answers on personality tests than their counterparts in 1982, says Jean Twenge, author of Generation Me. No surprise, we parents are a big part of the problem. Kids with narcissistic personality traits operate with an inflated sense of self, Twenge says. And despite its perception, narcissism leads to more failures in life than it does victories, she adds. Achievements build self-esteem, not the other way around. Success is achieved with hard work and self-control, nothing more.

Self-control — or willpower — can be built for free. It involves simple exercises our kids can incorporate into their regular routines. Sitting up straight at the table, making the bed every morning, speaking in complete sentences, and abolishing the word “like” are all simple actions to force children to concentrate when they might otherwise be operating on autopilot.

“If you want to increase your willpower, make one simple change,” says John Tierney, author of Willpower: Rediscovering the Greatest Human Strength. “Building up self-control for one thing will build it up for anything else.”

Adapted excerpt from Not Buying It: Stop Overspending and Start Raising Happier, Healthier, More Successful Kids by Brett Graff, available from Seal Press © 2016.

Graff has written about money and personal finance for major media outlets and her column, The Home Economist, is nationally syndicated and published across the U.S. Learn more at thehomeeconomist.com.

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EDUCATION EXTRAVAGANZA!

The One Skill Parents Aren’t Teaching That is Critical to Kids’ Success

BY MELISSA SHAW

Parents aim to cultivate a laundry list of qualities in their children, hoping they will grow to be competent, successful adults. But there’s one critical attribute that is quickly fading in today’s youth. In fact, it may not even be on parents’ radar: empathy.

“I don’t think we recognize the value of it,” says Michele Borba, best-selling author and nationally known parenting expert. “We still see it as soft, fluffy, and not integral.”

Her latest book, UnSelfie: Why Empathic Kids Succeed in Our AllAbout-Me World, is garnering significant attention from parents and the media as she explains why empathy — not GPA or a slate of extracurriculars — is key to a child’s success, how to nourish it in children, and why it will give them an advantage as they grow.

“Parents don’t realize you can cultivate empathy,” she notes. “Their mouths open when I begin to cite the research that shows we can cultivate it. Then they begin to open up and say, ‘I just thought it was a temperament,’ ‘I thought just girls can be empathic,’ or ‘I thought it was birth order’ — everything but realizing they can make a difference in their kids’ lives.”

Borba’s research shows that empathy is sought by employers and highly correlated with leadership. It can also make a child more popular, help them have healthier relation32 JANUARY2017

ships, and even live longer, she says.

Backed by research, UnSelfie offers 300 practical, age-by-age ways to cultivate empathy in your child and help them practice it.

“It’s not a program or an app,” she says. “It’s finding simple little ways to weave it in [everyday life].”

Given that empathy is not hardwired, Borba is on a mission to show practical, proven ways parents can grow and nurture it in children via nine social-emotional habits.

And sobering research shows her advice couldn’t have come at a better time. The combination of today’s helicopter parenting (overscheduling, interfering, and success at all costs), pop culture (reality TV), and technology (social media and selfies, selfies, selfies) have combined to deliver a 58% increase in narcissism and a 40% drop in teen empathy, resulting in stressedout kids who focus solely on themselves and their achievements.

Borba, a mother of three who holds a doctorate in educational psychology and counseling from the University of San Francisco, says the idea for the book sprung from a research project on evil. While overseas teaching empathy on U.S. Army bases, she took trips to infamous concentration camp sites Dachau and Auschwitz. Other research trips took her to Rwanda, Armenia, and the Cambodian Killing Fields.

“I began to see, in every one of these places I went to, there were absolutely incredible stories of altruistic rescuers,” she says. “But when you read the research on how they became a rescuer or altruist, all they said was, ‘It was how I was raised.’”

Borba discovered “How I was raised” equated to “I watched my parents and acted like them.”

“It was what was modeled,” she adds. “The first thing we have to look at is, what are we modeling? If the kids had only our behavior to watch, ‘What would they catch?’ is a scary question. Kindness, compassion, moral courage — all those habits in UnSelfie — are best taught by not telling a kid, but showing them.”

Another tenet became clear: Empathetic behavior was expected.

Altruists’ statements ran from “My parents expected me to be kind,” and “They expected me to reach out and help another,” to “If I didn’t go help that little girl who was crying, I’d get in trouble.”

“You look at now, what’s the first question we ask kids when they get home, ‘What’d you get on the test?’”

Borba notes.

When she’s not appearing on major media outlets — from CNN and Good Morning America, to Dateline and The View, Borba speaks at parenting events, and says the No. 1 question she gets

is, “Is it too late to teach my child empathy?”

“It’s always easier when you start young, but it’s never too late,” she assures.

For the smaller set, the solution is simple: “There is very clear research that one of the best vehicles for boosting empathy is a sandbox,” Borba says. “Unstructured play. It’s where a child learns face-to-face connections, turn taking, how to identify emotions in another.”

While school-age children are beyond a sandbox, their need for unstructured playtime — and a loose schedule — is just what the doctor ordered.

“Overscheduling is a big issue,” she says. And in addition to a slate of activities keeping families on the go nonstop, the majority of those commitments are adult-directed, structured, and with no downtime, leading to stressed-out kids.

“When the stress builds up, empathy dials down, because you can’t feel for others when you’re in stress mode yourself,” she says. “We help our kids practice everything but empathy, and empathy is a skill that needs to be practiced. They’re very good at violin. They’re fabulous at school; in fact we’re raising the smartest generation on record.

GPAs and SAT scores continue to go up, but what’s lying dormant is practicing the other half.”

Technology strikes again Another frequent culprit in the parenting space — technology — rears its head again, as kids’ preferences for tech over people has greatly contributed to the empathy epidemic.

“We’re raising a generation of kids who say and admit they’d rather text than talk,” she says. “Common Sense Media says they’re plugged in about 9 hours a day. Research says they’re actually plugged in more, on average, than they are sleeping. The more you face a screen, the less likely you are to learn emotional literacy. Reading facial expressions, hearing voice tones, watching body language — you can’t learn that facing a screen. That is a concern, that we’re not finding enough time just to build face-to-face conversations and connections, so the gateway to empathy and emotional literacy takes a ding.”

In a world obsessed with numerical measures of success, such as grades, SAT scores, or GPA, Borba says parents can build their child’s empathy muscles every day in just a few minutes.

“Weave in opportunities so that both sides of the report card mat-

ter. You can do that. It’s just being a little bit more intentional and finding everyday moments,” she says.

“Just take one or two ideas and start slowly implementing them.

Keep doing them just a few minutes every day, and what will happen is it not only changes your child, it changes your parenting. Parents are saying they’re becoming much more empathetic as an adult, and there’s nothing more powerful as a parenting skill than being empathetic as a parent to your child. You’ll find your own relationship with your kids enhancing.”

Borba’s nine habits build on each other, so parents and children should begin with Habit 1: teaching emotional literacy, the ability to understand and recognize the feelings of oneself and others. The book, for example, outlines several simple ways parents can help build a child’s emotional literacy a little each day, from reading books about feelings with little ones to teaching school-age kids how to decode and interpret simple body language and nonverbal cues.

“Getting rid of 1 hour of plugged-in time a day or turning off the TV for a half hour can be enough to open up enormous opportunities,” she says. “It’s a habit that can be exercised, like math or reading.”

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EDUCATION EXTRAVAGANZA!

How Too Much Parental ‘Help’ Can Hurt Your Children’s Success In School

BY CAROLYN DAITCH, PH.D.

34 JANUARY2017

he biggest parenting challenge is knowing when to step in to help and guide and when to step back and permit the child to independently solve life’s challenges — from scraped knees and kindergarten fights, through the terrible middle school adjustments and, finally, the trials, tribulations, triumphs, and defeats of high school and university.

Finding oneself is serious business, and it is not a good thing to outsource the task — especially not to mom and dad. Most successful people had parents who saw their children’s potential and focused on creating opportunities for the achievement of the perceived potential. But once the opportunity is presented, the taking of it has to be left to the child. That is a lesson parents sometimes have a hard time grasping.

The term “helicopter parenting” is applied to over-protective and supervisory parents of high school or collegeaged students, parents who are perhaps more protective and supervisory of their children than necessary or beneficial. Over-protectiveness can begin very early on, often immediately after the birth of a child. It becomes a problem if it does not fade as the baby develops and grows. When that happens, toddlers and elementary school students are, in fact, hindered in their development by what has been defined as helicopter parenting.

While a newborn baby certainly needs round-the-clock care and protectiveness, exaggerated vigilance and protectiveness that continue well after that intensive bonding and caring period can have deleterious consequences.

Those who hover and want to do everything for their children lest they have a negative experience or — heaven forbid — a failure, often affect more damage than assistance. Believing that your child can successfully manage the normal Sturm und Drang of growing up is the most supportive expression of love. Doubting the child’s ability and jumping in to save and protect at every small twist and turn is often perceived by the child as a doubt of his or her ability to cope. When doubt is expressed by the parents, the child can hardly question its justification.

The most serious detriment of helicopter parenting is that it interferes with the development of self-efficacy.

Of course, “do everything” parents have good intentions. The problem is that “do everything” parents love their children anxiously, and when they hover and micro-manage every little detail of their children’s lives, they instill their own anxiety into their kids.

Imperceptibly at first, but steadily, their kids begin to mirror their parents’ discomfort in social situations, their fear of failure and, often, fear of even the faintest uncertainty.

Too much “help” can actually hurt your child’s success. Experts in child development want to scream: Stop in

the name of love!

What to do if a child seems to not know what is best and, worse still, if he or she seems to not want to do what is best?

Noelle, a participant in a women’s group I lead in my practice, lamented that she was in a dilemma.

Her 13-year-old son, Jack, back in school barely a week, already waged a full-blown homework war.

The boy was a master procrastinator, avoiding what had to be done with willfulness and wile. He waited until the 11th hour to complete his papers, then begged and pleaded to have Noelle help him write and type them. Not wanting him to do poorly in school, Noelle typically gave in: “I know he should do his own work, but he cares so much about his grades that I just can’t say no to him. And he’s also pressuring me to take him to tutors who will help him get his schoolwork done.”

Denise, another woman in the group, nodded sympathetically, then spoke of her daughter who was a junior in college. She said that her husband had been editing every paper that their daughter wrote. She said that her husband was a good writer and editor, but she worried that her daughter was too dependent on his help: “I would’ve thought by this time that

Carly would be more independent.

But she’s so worried about getting into graduate school that it’s hard not to help her fulfill her dreams.”

Studies have shown that overprotective, “do everything” parents engender in their children a lack of self-agency, or self-confidence.

Never having had a chance to learn independence and self-reliance, they often don’t believe they can produce a desired outcome without their parents’ involvement. They don’t see themselves as agents in the achievement of a desired objective.

By doing everything, parents can hinder the development of selfefficacy in their children. In fact, by doing everything, parents can instill a “can’t-do” rather than a can-do reaction to even the simplest of life’s challenges. Children who have everything done for them lose the chance to develop valuable coping skills, to gain self-confidence, and to learn to bounce back from failure when necessary.

Why do so many parents feel compelled to help too much?

Most commonly, fear of dire consequences can cause a parent to step in and take charge. “If I don’t finish the science project for her, she’ll fail the class and never get into college,” or “If I don’t remind him to

get to soccer practice on time every day, he’ll get cut from the team.”

Some helicopter parents received too little help from their parents or they, too, had overprotective, overbearing parents and are simply continuing the tradition.

It’s always helpful to analyze one’s habits and compulsive behavior.

Many of us try to heal our own wounds and hurts by treating our children as if they have the same wounds and hurts. In other words, we, without actually being conscious of it, use our kids to compensate and correct things we feel were wrong with our own upbringing.

Many of my clients who were underattended by their parents compensate by over-attending their own children with laser beam intensity.

Feelings of anxiety about the world in general can drive parents to take control in the belief that they can keep their child from ever being hurt or disappointed.

Parental peer pressure

parents “fighting” to optimize their children’s experience, one can feel pressure to do the same, to level the playing field.

To stop hurting your children by helping too much: Reflect before reacting. Ask yourself if your involvement is helping your child in the long run. Ask yourself if your interference would prevent your child from developing the necessary self-reliance that is needed to function independently in life and to develop the self-confidence that comes from taking charge of a situation themselves — when developmentally appropriate, of course.

Finally, there is no perfect formula for parenting. But there is one somewhat old-fashioned rule: Do not try to be a perfect parent of a perfect child in a perfect world.

Teach your child by example that true success is just doing one’s best — one’s own best.

Carolyn Daitch is director of the Center for the Treatment of Anxiety Disorders in Farmington Hills, Mich. and author of The Road to Calm Workbook: Life-changing Tools to Stop Runaway Emotions.

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DIVORCE & SINGLE PARENTING

New Year’s Resolution: Be a Better Co-Parent in 2017

BY ATTY. IRWIN POLLACK

T

his is the time of year people are making resolutions for the New Year. If you’re divorced or separated, one of the best resolutions you can make for yourself and your children is to commit to being a better co-parent.

Think about it: Your children deserve to have a loving, respectful relationship with both of their parents. It’s important for you to support that relationship, regardless of how you feel about your former spouse.

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So why not start this year off by resolving to be a better co-parent?

Hopefully, your former spouse will do the same, but if not, you’ve at least put your best foot forward (and remember that we can’t control how another person acts). Your children will benefit and will see from your actions how to deal with their own relationships now and in the future.

Here are five resolutions you can make to improve your co-parenting: 1. I will not argue with my former spouse — especially not in front of our children.

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Make a concerted effort to be civil as often as you can — in person and on the phone — whether your children are present or not. Even if they don’t see or hear your conversation, they can sense the tension after a stressful conversation or angry exchange of texts. If you can’t talk to each other without arguing, consider changing the way you communicate; if you can’t talk on the phone, communicate via email or text. Or keep a stress ball handy during conversations and take out your frustrations on that, instead.

2. I will encourage my children to love and respect their other parent.

Make sure your child regularly communicates with his or her other parent, whether texting to say goodnight or calling to share good news (or bad) about grades on the latest report card. Help your child make or purchase a card and/or gift to acknowledge their other parent on birthdays, holidays, and especially Mother’s Day/Father’s Day and family holidays. Make sure the other parent is invited to school events, piano

recitals, and baseball games.

3. I will not put down my former spouse in front of my children.

You may not approve of your former spouse’s lifestyle or parenting choices, but unless they are harmful or dangerous for your children, bite your tongue and let it go. Don’t criticize how your former spouse spends time with your children, including where they go, what they do, or how they choose to act when they’re not with you.

4. I will be more flexible with my former spouse when it comes to changes in our routines.

If your former spouse asks to change the weekly parenting schedule or routine, allow the change — especially if it’s in your child’s best interest to do so. Maybe dad is working late all week on a big project or mom has an out-of-town business trip when he or she is supposed to be with the children. That’s no reason your child shouldn’t get to see his or her other parent. If a temporary change in the parenting plan is reasonable, try to accommodate the other parent’s request for the sake of your child.

You’ll see how it works both ways — and everybody benefits.

5. I will be grateful that my children have another parent.

Many children aren’t lucky enough to have two parents; others may never spend any time with their noncustodial parent. Juggling parenting schedules and plans can be difficult on you, but your child benefits from having a loving relationship and spending time with both parents. Try to see the good in your child’s other parent, too. (When your child is with his or her other parent, find ways to enjoy your alone time, too. Take a class. Learn a new skill. Reconnect with old friends, or make new ones!)

There’s one final resolution to add to this list: Resolve to cut yourself some slack during the coming year! Being a single parent is tough, so give yourself a pat on the back. And if you develop a good co-parenting relationship with your former spouse, give him or her a pat on the back as well!

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EDUCATION EXTRAVAGANZA! • VERY SPECIAL PEOPLE

KEYS TO CRAFTING

an IEP/Transition Plan for Children WITH SPECIAL NEEDS

BY MARSHAL D. HANEISEN

The tween and middle-school years can be an exciting time for children with intellectual disabilities and their parents, as the focus shifts to a vision for the child’s future.

When her daughter Sydney was in early elementary school, Jennifer Vacca of Grafton wanted Sydney, who has Down syndrome, to be engaged in the same academics as her neuro-typical peers. This goal worked out well, especially in kindergarten, where all students were learning foundation academics and social skills. Sydney is now 12 years old, and as the students grew older and the academics became more challenging, Vacca chose to change the approach to her daughter’s education.

“Last spring, one of Sydney’s teachers was lamenting how Sydney wasn’t getting the main idea of the story. I finally said, ‘She doesn’t need to know the main idea of the story.

She needs to know how to read streets signs, recipes, and labels,’” Vacca said.

Vacca, who is a teacher, explained that in the present approach to education, the emphasis is on meeting standards to become college or career ready. But she recognized that her focus for her daughter was about preparing for adulthood: “It was me that said we need to start focusing on more functional things,

such as counting money. I want her to be able to read, but I want the focus to be on things she needs and more about making sure she can

and being able to read a map. Vacca hopes that in adulthood Sydney will have some sort of supported-occupation. This hope, combined with

move forward when she is an adult.”

Vacca then sought reading goals for Sydney that included learning to read labels, informational signs,

Sydney’s interests, helps to formulate what education advocates refer to as her “vision.”

Leslie Leslie is project director

for the Federation for Children with Special Needs’ MassPAC (fcsn.org/ masspac), which provides support to Parent Advisory Councils around the state. She explained that as children approach the transition-planning phase of their education, something exciting happens. Transition planning is a legally-mandated component of the Individualized Education Plan process that is supposed to happen in IEP team meetings, which include a child’s parents, teachers, specialists and school administrators, and goes into effect when a child turns 14.

“There is a real shift in the whole mindset,” Leslie said. “Whereas before this time we are looking at the child and saying, ‘These are the challenges and deficits,’ we now shift to saying, ‘Where do you want to go? What is your vision and how can we help you get there?’”

This process is very empowering for young people, noted Leslie, who explained that all planning for the next few years centers around supporting that child’s vision.

Susan Shapiro, an educational consultant, special education advocate, and speech-language pathologist, emphasized the necessity that a child’s team look at all aspects of a child’s needs when creating the IEP, including speech and communication.

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VERY SPECIAL PEOPLE “From the time a child with a disability enters school, the team should be thinking about transition and fostering independence,” she said. “Speech-language pathologists, educational audiologists, assistive technology specialists, etc., should be involved from the beginning. An IEP is a fluid document that can and should be adjusted as the needs of a child change. A comprehensive transition assessment will include data regarding a student’s communication skills and needs as they move toward college, employment, or community.”

According to Shapiro, teams should begin by asking these guiding questions: • What will the student learn?

• Where will the student work?

• Where will the student live?

• What is the assessment plan?

“From the time a child with a disability enters school, the team should be thinking about transition and fostering independence.”

— Susan Shapiro, special education advocate and speech-language pathologist

Parents should request an Independent Educational Evaluation Transition Assessment if the school’s is absent, incomplete, or inadequate, Shapiro said.

“The transition planning form is a mandated form, and Department of Education has an advisory around it because the student is invited to the team meeting. It is really all about them. We want to clarify the student’s vision. What are the disability-related challenges? What are action items?

When we write the IEP, we have had a robust discussion around the student’s vision,” MassPAC’s Leslie said.

“The end result should be an individualized IEP/transition plan using comprehensive assessment data.

Goals must be congruent with any plans for transition and be measurable. The implementation of the goals must be monitored,” Shapiro added.

That IEP can then guide school services and also assist parents in setting goals and making plans for activities, social interactions, and home

and community-based learning.

Partnership between family and school is best when parents understand the goals and what the team is trying to achieve, and then provide additional opportunities at home and in the community with internships, volunteer opportunities — or even asking friends to help create opportunities, Leslie said.

Through school and communitybased activities, a student learns to narrow the vision to focus on what works for him or her.

“Sometimes we may find that a child has what we consider to be a totally unrealistic vision, like a rock star or astronaut. We celebrate that vision and write it down,” Leslie said. Then the focus moves to working with the child to help him or her identify what it is about the vision concept that is appealing. This may reveal a love of music, which could create opportunities to work at a record store or a shop that sells musical instruments.

Perhaps a child who wants to be an astronaut is very interested in space and could volunteer at a local museum or planetarium.

Leslie recommends parents drive the goals of strong academics as long as possible because you never know when an idea “is going to click.”

Those academics can often be structured around the child’s interests and vision, she said.

Vacca is pleased with the opportunities her daughter’s school is creating for Sydney to work on functional skills. For example, one day she assisted the school cafeteria staff. Another day she delivered mail throughout the school. Recently her class visited an orchard to pick apples. The next day they made applesauce. “Sydney thinks apples are for eating. Now she knows you can cook with apples,” Vacca said.

Leslie recommends parents begin learning about the transition process early. There are so many amazing opportunities for children as they head to adulthood, it is a little overwhelming. But, it is best if parents learn what they can while their child is in school, before they become worried about other issues, like housing, she said.

Transition planning workshops are held throughout the state by various groups, including school district Special Education Parent Advisory Councils and agencies like Seven Hills and The Arc of Opportunity. These workshops help parents in creating a post-secondary vision for their child and provide guidance on how to sit down with young people and help them embrace what they want. The goal is to let the student lead, when possible.

“If it’s done right, it is about a positive future,” Leslie said.

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BAYSTATEPARENT 39

Why Your ‘Forgetful’ Child May Not Be Forgetful After All Inside the critical mental skill set — Executive Function

BY MICHELLE PERRAS-CHARRON

M

any parents find themselves taking a detour to their child’s school on a weekly basis to drop off forgotten items such as lunches, homework, and band instruments — yet again — even after reminders were given and sticky notes posted. Some parents are likely frustrated and ready to throw up their hands — but don’t do that just yet. There is hope. Know that your child is not forgetful, lazy, or an absentminded professor in the making. More likely, they are simply struggling with executive function skills.

What is Executive Function?

Executive function (EF) refers to a critical mental skill set that helps people plan, focus, and juggle multiple tasks successfully — in other words, get things done. Executive function is thought to be regulated by the frontal lobe of the brain and encompasses skills such as organization, verbal and nonverbal working memory, initiative, persistence, flexibility, time management, impulse control, and emotional regulation.

“EF skills are not present at birth, but emerge over the course of a child’s development,” says Kerri Augusto, clinical psychologist and clinical supervisor at the Becker Counselor Training Clinic in Leicester. “Executive function helps us manage our emotions and monitor our thoughts so we can select and achieve goals, and develop solutions to problems encountered along the way.”

These are critical life skills in the making. For this reason, EF skills are equally important for children and adults alike. For younger children, these skills contribute to their ability to selfregulate and problem-solve. For school-age children, EF skills are needed to successfully navigate the demands of homework and class projects. As adults, we need this skill set in our toolbox to sustain relationships, employment, and successfully manage long-term projects at work.

Early childhood development and EF “For young children, goals are often prescribed by parents and teachers, but executive function allows a child to remain focused on the goal even when other events come along and divert attention or interfere with memory,” Augusto explains.

40 JANUARY2017

More importantly, she says, EF provides young children with the emotional regulation skills needed to work toward a goal and negotiate challenges along the way.

Why is emotional regulation so important? This EF skill is one and the same and deeply intertwined with social-emotional skills — something children must master before other kinds of learning (such as academic) can occur, says Donna M. Denette, director and co-founder of Children First Enterprises, a nonprofit child care organization in Granby.

“Executive function helps us manage our emotions and monitor our thoughts so we can select and achieve goals, and develop solutions to problems encountered along the way.”

— KERRI AUGUSTO, CLINICAL PSYCHOLOGIST AND CLINICAL SUPERVISOR, BECKER COUNSELOR TRAINING CLINIC

“It’s truly the foundation for all relationships and learning,” Denette says.

The easiest way to understand emotional regulation is by describing what it is not, she says.

“Imagine a toddler in a temper tantrum: Logic does not matter, the reasons behind a situation do not matter, and others do not matter. The child wants what he or she wants and they want it now. No one and nothing else really exist for the child at that moment,” she says. “Emotional regulation is the opposite of that: The individual can recognize that they exist in a situation, with reasons behind what is going on, with others who also have their own response to the situation, and they can exhibit some control over their own response to the situation.”

This is huge for preschool-age children, and even school chil-

dren, because without emotional regulation, they cannot effectively problem-solve when faced with a challenge — of which there are many. When children are able to work through problems and overcome challenges, their confidence and self-esteem gets an important boost, helping them feel more confident the next time they encounter difficulties.

In addition to emotional regulation, other important EF skills emerge during child development, Augusto notes.

“In the first year of life, children develop behavior inhibition, or the ability to stop doing things that are not effective for achieving a goal,” she says. Simply put, this is the ability to think before acting. At the same time, children also develop working memory, which is a necessary component for “hindsight” and “forethought,” she adds.

“Between the ages of 3 and 9, children acquire language, which becomes another means for controlling their social world. Over time, the ability to have internalized speech and communication skills leads to the ability to form and understand rules, to selfmonitor, and to think about and evaluate one’s own thoughts (a building block for effective problem-solving),” Augusto says.

Lastly, young children will develop “the ability to break complex behaviors into component parts and recombine them in novel ways to achieve new outcomes,” she adds.

According to Augusto, this particular skill takes time to develop and will not reach a reasonable level of function until midto late adolescence. Therefore, children must rely on trusted adults to assist them in making good social decisions and being effective problem-solvers.

Denette provides a typical scenario of this important EF skill in the following example: Two school-age siblings came to her office after “play-fighting” had escalated to a brief physical altercation. With her assistance, the siblings were able to break down the incident into component parts to find and analyze the exact moment when things changed from playing to hurting.

With support, they were able to see that an inadvertent action was interpreted as purposeful, thus resulting in retaliation.

When the hurt sibling was asked if he was 100% sure the action was purposeful, he admitted he was not, which allowed him to see how the outcome would have been different (not hurting his sibling and getting in trouble) had he not interpreted the action as purposeful.

EF and school-age children Dan Levine is president and founder of Engaging Minds, an after-school learning center in Newton that focuses on teaching school-age children EF skills through the lens of homework. Prior to opening Engaging Minds in 2010, Levine worked in education, where he noted many kids just didn’t know how to study and prioritize schoolwork.

“They have information coming at them from all directions and then they must organize, prioritize, synthesize, and extract the right information,” he says about school-aged children today.

In past decades, schoolwork focused on passive studying, or memorization, whereas now more and more students are being asked to engage in active studying, he says.

“It’s a richer way of thinking.

Today’s world is about solving problems,” he adds.

Levine emphasizes that Engaging Minds is not a homework club, rather, they are trying to have a longterm impact on students by teaching EF skills that will help them navigate school successfully. Oftentimes, when students are having trouble with schoolwork, he says it is not a content-based problem, the student is simply struggling with EF. For example, if a child is struggling in math, is it a computation problem, or is the student struggling to understand what they’re solving for?

Organization and working memory are two crucial EF skills needed to be able to effectively solve math problems.

“It’s important to understand what’s going on in their brain,” adds Emily O’Rourke, a middle school math teacher in Belchertown. “It can be difficult for them to get stuff from their brain to the paper, so it’s important to provide these students [those who struggle with EF] with different ways to show that they’ve learned the material.”

O’Rourke, who has also worked in special education, says she sees more students struggling with EF now that she is teaching math in the general school population. She strives to help these kids develop the skills they need to be independent, all while not sweating the small stuff, like lost worksheets, homework, and pencils.

“They need to know they’re safe, they need acceptance,” she adds.

“As long as they learn the material, I’m not going to focus on that they lose things.”

She feels reprimanding students for forgetting pencils and losing worksheets is counter-productive: “They won’t feel good about themselves.

Then they won’t want to come to school anymore.”

With acceptance, she feels students struggling with EF skills will be more

open to learning strategies from their teachers that can help them with their EF struggles.

How parents can help It’s important to note that many students who struggle with EF skills are oftentimes very intelligent and are capable of doing well in school — with the right tools tucked in their belt.

“EF skills have very little correlation with intelligence,” Levine says.

“Everyone hits a brick wall. Smarts will get them so far, then they need the EF skills.”

O’Rourke agrees, and says that around 5th and 6th grade these “smart” students, who are lacking needed EF skills, will really begin to struggle, but there are ways parents can help their child at home.

To help kids tackle organization and time management, Levine recommends school-age children use an agenda to keep track of assignments.

Many schools provide these for students.

“Using the agenda is important,” he says. “They have to have it written down.”

He advises parents help their kids prioritize their assignments in their agenda, even noting how long each assignment will take so they have a good understanding of what needs to get done at the outset.

While he highly recommends agendas, Levine knows it’s also important to give kids freedom to make their own choices about how to organize schoolwork. Aside from school agendas, kids can create their own agenda on a computer, and there are also apps available, such as iProcrastinate and iHomework, to help kids stay organized and on track, he says.

“They’re more invested in making it work, and it gives them some ownership,” he says about giving kids choices.

Levine also advises kids schedule time weekly to organize their papers so they don’t end up with an overstuffed binder.

Another big obstacle for kids struggling with EF is task initiation, i.e. getting started on homework or a big project. To parents, this may look like procrastination, indiffer-

ence, or even laziness. Levine says parents need to identify what is getting in their child’s way when it comes to schoolwork.

“Sometimes parents do have to set real limits,” he says about distractions such as video games, television, and cell phones. Other times, children need help because they are feeling overwhelmed.

Levine says children who are overwhelmed by an assignment or project are more likely using electronics as an escape. Parents need to get at the root of the problem. Maybe their child didn’t write down the assignment, the assignment seems too big, or perhaps they are just “stuck” and don’t know how to proceed.

He suggests breaking down large assignments into manageable pieces, or working in short bursts, i.e, 20 minutes of homework, then a 5 minute break, 20 more minutes of homework, another 5 minute break, etc.

“When we feel we have some power over what’s in front of us, anxiety goes down and stress goes down,” Levine says. “I think for a lot of kids — and adults — feeling in control is important to being able to move forward effectively.”

When kids feel stuck, he says parents should avoid pointing them in the right direction or giving them the answer. Instead, encourage your child to self-advocate. Do they have class notes or a textbook they can look in? Is there a friend, tutor, or teacher they could ask? Is the information they need online?

When children are able to overcome challenges and obstacles on their own, they gain self-confidence, he says. They’ll then feel more confident that they can work through an obstacle or problem the next time they’re faced with one — something they’ll carry with them into adulthood.

When to seek professional help Though there are some red flags parents can look for to assess if EF skills are a problem for their child, Augusto reminds parents that there will be normal differences in rates of development between child, and some children will simply need more

support with EF skills than others.

Here are some basic guidelines and examples by school grade, regarding the typical development of EF in children, as shared by Augusto: Preschool: Can follow simple, onestep directions, such as “Get your backpack,” and are able to inhibit simple behaviors, i.e. “Don’t bite.”

First/Second grade: Can follow three-step directions and also follow safety rules such as, “Look both ways before crossing the street.”

Augusto cautions parents here that moving from kindergarten to first grade can be especially stressful, and there are many new demands placed on children at this age.

“While children at this age can be expected to bring papers home from school, sorting them and knowing what to do with [them] may not be possible until Grade 4 or 5,” she says.

Fourth grade: Can complete simple chores with reminders, keep track of most belongings, complete homework with minimal prompting, and demonstrate manners and rulefollowing behavior when authorities are present.

Sixth grade: Complete chores without reminders, can use an organizer for homework, plan and carry out long-term projects, begin managing time for school, sports, and other responsibilities.

Augusto says parents who are concerned about the development of EF skills in their child should seek the advice of a mental health professional.

“Interventions for children with EF difficulties involve lending the child a ‘frontal lobe’ in the form of adult support, scaffolding demands, and, sometimes, changing the environment to better allow the child to filter out distractions and focus,” she adds.

“If we can learn these skills at an early age, we benefit enormously in the long term,” Levine adds.

“Executive function skills are life skills.”

BAYSTATEPARENT 41

EDUCATION EXTRAVAGANZA!

Standardized Science Tests Show Mixed Results for Mass Students

BY DOUG PAGE

Are Massachusetts’s public school students all-stars or also-rans in science compared to their fellow students around the country and the world?

The answer depends on who’s talking and which standardized test is under the microscope.

One measure of how well Bay State kids are performing recently came from the 8th grade science test designed by the National Assessment of Educational Progress (NAEP), which tested students and their peers across the United States. Another benchmark is offered by the Program for International Student Assessment (PISA), which just released its results showing how Massachusetts 15-year-olds stack up in science, math, and reading compared to others across the country and around the world.

Results from the NAEP test, administered in 2015 to more than 100,000 8th graders in 46 states, had Utah leading the nation, with 47% of its 8th graders scoring “Proficient” and 3% scoring “Advanced.” Not only the did Beehive State outscore Massachusetts (which had 2,200 students take the test), but it also made considerable gains from the 2011 NAEP test, when 41% of its 8th graders scored “Proficient,” and 2% scored “Advanced.”

Massachusetts 8th graders placed fourth, behind New Hampshire and Minnesota. The test is given every four years by the U.S. Department of Education (DOE).

“It’s an independent thermometer on how well American kids are actually doing [understanding their science curriculum],” said Frederick Hess, a scholar at Washington, D.C.based American Enterprise Institute, a think tank that researches public policy issues, and an executive editor at Education Next, a journal 42 JANUARY2017

published at Harvard University’s Kennedy School of Government. “It’s an apples-to-apples comparison, and it’s really useful for getting an honest, straightforward audit on how well kids are doing across the states.”

“We have amazing science teachers,” said Richard Scott, K-12 Science Education Specialist for Utah’s Board of Education. “They’re devoted to what they do.”

He attributed Utah’s success to a new open-source curriculum science textbook used by its public schools, which is aligned to the state’s science standards. Scott says many of Utah’s middle school science teachers also have an academic background in science.

Bay State 8th graders’ performance on the 2015 NAEP science test was stalled compared to their performance in 2011. In 2015, 41% of Massachusetts 8th graders were deemed “Proficient” (up from 40% in 2011) and 3% were ranked

“Advanced” (down from 4% in 2011).

In Massachusetts, reaction to the results were mixed.

“What’s interesting is that there’s been an improvement [in the NAEP science test] nationwide by 4 per-

“Massachusetts seems to be stagnating and riding on its laurels. These results are a warning to the policy leaders in Massachusetts: Their schools aren’t getting any better.”

“The strength our students are

“Massachusetts seems to be stagnating and riding on its laurels. These results are a warning to the policy leaders in Massachusetts: Their schools aren’t getting any better.”

— PAUL PETERSON, HARVARD UNIVERSITY EDUCATION POLICY PROFESSOR AND SENIOR EDITOR AT EDUCATION NEXT

centage points since 2009, but Massachusetts is slipping relative to the rest of the country,” said Paul Peterson, a Harvard University education policy professor and the senior editor at Education Next.

showing in science will continue to be a critical part of growing a strong Massachusetts economy and workforce,” Gov. Charlie Baker stated in a Massachusetts Department of Elementary and Secondary

Education (DESE) press release reporting the results.

DESE Commissioner Mitchell Chester was more tempered: “It’s clear that while our NAEP results continue to be strong relative to other states, the latest round of both NAEP and MCAS scores show that we have room to improve in science.”

DESE spokesperson Jacqueline Reis noted that the Massachusetts Board of Education voted a year ago to change the state’s science standards. She cited a DESE press release that stated: “While not tied to NAEP, the new Massachusetts standards include practices that could help engage students more deeply in the subjects of science and technology/engineering.”

PISA test Unlike NAEP, which measured students’ knowledge of a science curriculum, the PISA test assessed what students “know both in and out of school,” says Patrick Gonzales, the test’s U.S. administrator. More than 540,000 15-year-olds from 72 countries, provinces, or cities worldwide took the test. Students took the two-hour computer-based test in October and November 2015.

“It’s [a measure] of what’s been

learned both in and out school, maybe even from their parents, and sees if they can apply that knowledge,” he said. “It’s as real-world assessment as you can get on a test.”

U.S. 15-year-olds have taken the test since it was first given.

Massachusetts has participated twice, both last year and in 2012, as an independent entity, with its results reported separately from the United States. More than 1,600 Bay State students took the test, and another 5,700 from across the United States also participated.

The 2015 exam focused on science, Gonzales says, but two other subjects were also tested: math and reading literacy and comprehension.

Some teenagers took the science and reading tests while others took the science and math tests; an even smaller sample of the students, Gonzales says, were assessed in all three areas.

Bay State 15-year-olds — all from public schools — earned a score of 529 on a 1,000-point scale on the science portion, 527 on reading, and 500 on the math test.

Massachusetts’s science score ranked it above the United States average at 496, but below Singapore, which took top honors in science with 556. The Commonwealth’s reading score placed it well above the United States average of 472, but

below Singapore, which scored 535.

In math, the Bay State ranked higher than the United States score of 470, but again below Singapore’s top score of 564.

Worrisome to some is the Bay State’s math score, which was 14 points lower than in 2012.

“The gains Massachusetts was registering for the last 15 to 20 years aren’t there anymore,” Harvard’s Peterson said. “Massachusetts is no longer moving in an upward direction.”

While Massachusetts “is still the state with probably the best public schools in the country, there are signs it’s beginning to slip,” he added.

Tom Loveless, a senior fellow with The Brookings Institution, a Washington, D.C.-based think tank that examines public policy issues, suggests parents look at long-term trends with these tests. He also urges caution when considering their results.

“I’d take PISA with a grain of salt,” he said. “It’s a very narrow test that measures what kids can do with the knowledge they’ve gained in reading, math, and science. Two-thirds of the kids who are tested are only sophomores, and it’s given in the fall, so they’ve only had one year of high school.” The fall testing time meant students had not been back in school long following their sum-

mer vacation. “It’s not a good test of what’s going on in the [nation’s] high schools.”

Gonzales disagreed: “What we’re asking students to do is what you would want them to be able to do, like solve their everyday problems, whether it’s scheduling work or buying Christmas presents.” But he also urged caution when parents consider PISA test results: “There are many factors that go into student achievement. [PISA] is another lens into what students know and can do, but it’s not the only lens.”

In reviewing 2015’s PISA results across the three areas tested, Asian countries, such as Singapore, Japan, and Taiwan, and Chinese provinces like Hong Kong and Macau, often find their students among the top five in performance, with a few exceptions. Some of this is due to culture, Loveless suggested.

“The kids [in East Asia] are used to taking high-stakes tests, and there you have a much more academically oriented culture,” he said. “The Confucian culture respects intellectualism, and that doesn’t exist in the United States.”

The United States, he says, “thinks it’s more important to be well-rounded than just educated, more socially inclined, and play sports. We convey that to our children and our schools convey that, too.”

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Zadrick is a 12-year-old boy of Hispanic descent who loves to watch sports on TV. He is a friendly, talkative boy who is a homebody and likes to stay inside at home rather than going shopping. He is cautious about trying new things and is somewhat selective about what he eats.

He enjoys playing volleyball and flag football.

Zadrick is in the sixth grade and has an Individual Educational Plan.

He is very resourceful and good at advocating for himself. He tends to engage best with younger children.

Legally free for adoption, a very structured home and a firm parenting style seems to work best for Zadrick. He would do well in any type of family that can provide him with the love, attention, and encouragement to help build his self-

esteem. Zadrick would like to maintain contact with several important people in his life, including his two sisters.

If you would like more information about Zadrick, please call MARE Social Worker Maurine Albano at (413) 4523431. The Department of Children and Families (DCF) Central Region Adoption Development & Licensing Unit’s (ADLU) Office hosts monthly informational meetings about the adoption process. The next meeting will be held on Wednesday, Jan. 11 from 6 – 7 p.m. The DCF ADLU Office is located at 13 Sudbury St. in Worcester.

Call (508) 929-2143 to register and for specifics about parking. In case of inclement weather, please call to verify the meeting is still taking place.

Circle of Friends Tuesday, Jan. 3: Western Region Adoption Info Meetings — Department of Children and Families, 140 High St., 5th Floor, Springfield. 4 p.m.-5:30 p.m.

(413) 452-3369.

Wednesday, Jan. 11: Central Region Adoption Info Meetings — ADLU Worcester. 13 Sudbury St., Worcester. 6 p.m.-7 p.m.

(508) 929-2413.

Wednesday, Jan. 18: Boston Region Adoption Info Meeting, DCF Boston,

451 Blue Hill Avenue, Dorchester. 4 p.m.-5:30 p.m. 617-989-9209.

Sunday, Jan 22: Roller Skating Party. Roll-On America, 90 Duval Road, Lancaster. 10:30 a.m.-12:30 p.m. Interested in learning about adoption from foster care? Lace up the skates for a fun Sunday on the rink for prospective parents and waiting children alike. This is an event for prospective parents who have been homestudied or who are taking/have completed MAPP training. Contact mareinc.org to register.

If your group or organization is holding an adoption information or support group and would like to have information posted for readers of baystateparent, please email editor@baystateparent.com.

Greater Boston PFLAG Partners To Host Youth, Family Program for Transgender Community

BY ALEX L. KHAN New England’s premier event supporting transgender, gender-nonconforming, and gender-fluid people has a new partner this year: Greater Boston PFLAG (Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays).

Nearly 800 people are expected to attend First Event 2017’s workshops and discussions at the Royal Plaza in Marlborough Jan. 25-29 (firstevent. org). And while the conference, now in its 37th year, is one of the largest and longest running of its kind in the world, the partnership with Greater Boston PLFAG is an exciting new addition.

The conference’s Youth and Family Program is designed to provide support and education for parents, sib-

lings, friends, and families, as well as transgender, gender non-conforming, or questioning youth. Incorporating presentations and panels coordinated by professionals and volunteers from First Event and Greater Boston PFLAG, the workshops aim to build community and connections among youth and families and provide information that may be difficult for attendees to find on their own.

“We understand the importance of providing accessible programming that is welcoming to all parents, regardless of where they are in their journey of accepting their child,” said Greater Boston PFLAG Executive Director Val Frias. “We are able to create a very safe environ-

ment for the youth, but also for the parents to learn the terminology and have all of the support for them, and to make connections with other parents to make long-standing relationships.”

According to First Event 2017 Co-Chair Grace Stevens, there is an ever-growing need for programs to support transgender families, youth, and children.

“As a result of what we have observed over the past several years, we are thrilled to partner with Greater Boston PFLAG to create our Youth and Family Program,” she said.

“We are already seeing an overwhelming interest in the program, and in the First Event conference overall. Each year our attendance has grown steadily, proving there’s a tremendous need for transgender people from all walks of life to find support, education, and friendship in the midst of their journey. It’s the parents that are changing the world.

It’s the mothers and fathers of trans

kids that are fighting the battles to save their kids.”

“Feeling part of a community and finding peers who understand part of your joys and struggles without judgment makes a difference,” said Emily McGranachan, east coast regional manager with the Family Equality Council (familyequality. org), which will also be organizing programming at First Event. “Those moments of ‘Me, too’ or ‘Finally, someone who gets it’ can change someone’s life.” McGranachan said her life was changed when as a teen she met other individuals with LGBTQ parents.

“I think it is really about supporting the parent, so they feel strong enough to support their child and to listen to their child,” said Carol Caravana, whose son came out as transgender five years ago. “[Those outside the transgender community] don’t see what we went through and the troubles and the worries that we sometimes have.”

“Feeling part of a community and finding peers who understand part of your joys and struggles without judgment makes a difference.”

– EMILY MCGRANACHAN, EAST COAST REGIONAL MANAGER, FAMILY EQUALITY COUNCIL

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THE THINKING PARENT

How Therapy Outside the Box Aids Children

BY KAITLYN HALL

When he was only a few weeks old, Cameron was rushed to the emergency room with grand mal seizures and medical complications. By age 5, the hospital had become all too familiar to Cameron and his family, but their rush through the cold Emergency Room doors was no less frightening. Familiar rituals of needle sticks and questions abound, and when he was stabilized Cameron was offered a plethora of coloring books and videos. But what made this visit different was the third option given: therapy. Not the kind of therapy that comes with a lot of talking and analysis, but the kind that comes with floppy ears, soft fur, and a wagging tail. Cameron was lucky enough to be seen by a therapy dog that day, and according to his parents, this was the first “therapy” that truly calmed their distressed child.

When the suggestion of child counseling or therapy is made to a parent, thoughts often run to media depictions of a wise woman perched on the edge of a chair, observing the child as s/he draws pictures of his/her family and talks animatedly about troubles at home. This kind of therapy has its place, and for some children it is highly effective.

But most therapists today engage in far more eclectic and active

forms of therapy. At the Counselor Training Clinic at Becker College, for example, counselors are trained in traditional evidence-based practices grounded in psychological theory, but their work in-session is informed by the techniques developed and researched by practitioners from a variety of subspecialties within the counseling field.

For example, research demonstrates that play therapy can be a helpful tool for many children, including those with developmental delays or autism spectrum disorders. Due to the fact that play therapy involves social interactions and connections between therapist and child, there is a platform for creativity, imagination, fantasy, and exploration that a child on the spectrum might not usually have. Play therapy allows a child with developmental delays to build more sensorimotor skills as well. Sand tray or sand play therapy may be integrated into the play therapy and involves a more hands-on, story-telling approach.

Sand tray therapy can allow children to express themselves nonverbally, again aiding children who may be on the autism spectrum.

Another “nontraditional” therapy that has found a place in many childoriented practices is mindful meditation and yoga. Yoga, or movement therapy, may be useful for the child with ADHD or social thinking/social emotional learning skill deficits. Yoga has been proven to improve impulse control, as well as attention control

and emotion regulation. It is believed to help in these areas because of the focus on concentration, body awareness, and stress reduction New research is currently being conducted in order to prove its effectiveness and, ultimately, have yoga be integrated into more schools. Children can be referred to general yoga classes or to a yoga therapy group specifically targeted to young people dealing with issues of self-esteem or anxiety.

For children with ADHD or autism spectrum disorder, music therapy has been proven to assist children with increased information retention, auditory perception, and overall language skills. Because there is a sequence of activities that occurs within a music session, children are able to work on gestures, verbalization, communicative functions, and expression in a natural setting. In addition, music therapy may result in increased short-term memory, decreased distractibility, and enhanced information processing for the child.

Like music, art is a natural expression of the human experience, and one that child therapists can utilize to assist children who may not be able to express their thoughts and feelings in words. Though drawings are often used in conjunction with more traditional “talk therapies,” an art therapist can explore multiple art modalities to provide a child with the chance to explore less intimidating means of communication.

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Art therapy allows children to use visual work to help unconscious or ill-formed ideas find expression. Art therapy may be used in individual therapy or within a group; both have been researched and proven to be effective.

Childhood is a time of significant change, and even if our world were not changing at a lightning pace, there would be children who struggle to keep up. But in modern times with the pace of life, the complexity of families, and the daily threats in our social world, children are more vulnerable than ever. When parents are asked to consider a counselor or a therapist for their child, they should not view this as a criticism or a threat to their privacy, but as an opportunity to join with a professional partner who can help their child find a way to voice concerns and feelings, to process those feelings, and navigate the social world with success.

Kaitlyn Hall is graduate student clinician in the Mental Health Counseling program at Becker College with specialized interest and training in the area of art therapy. She provides counseling services to adults, children, couples and families thought the Counselor Training Clinic (CTC) at Becker College in Leicester. Visit mhcclinic.becker.edu for more information about available, low-cost, counseling services at the CTC with Kaitlyn or other qualified professionals.

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Monster Trucks • Rated PG for action, peril, brief scary images, and some rude humor • In theaters Jan. 13 • Reel Preview: 3.5 of 5 Reels

New movies coming to theaters this month

By Jane Louise Boursaw

A Dog’s Purpose • Rated PG for thematic elements and some peril • In theaters Jan. 27 • Reel Preview: 3.5 of 5 Reels Based on the beloved bestselling novel by W. Bruce Cameron, A Dog’s Purpose, from director Lasse Hallström (The Cider House Rules, Dear John, The 100-Foot Journey), shares the soulful and surprising story of one devoted dog (voiced by Josh Gad) who finds the meaning of his own existence through the lives of the humans he teaches to laugh and love. This family film, told from the dog’s perspective, also stars Dennis Quaid, Britt Robertson, and Peggy Lipton.

Looking for any way to get away from the life and town he was born into, Tripp (Lucas Till), a high school senior, builds a monster truck from bits and pieces of scrapped cars. After an accident at a nearby oil-drilling site displaces a strange and subterranean creature with a taste for speed, Tripp may have just found the key to getting out of town and a most unlikely friend. Melding cuttingedge visual effects and state-of-the-art CGI, Monster Trucks is an action-filled adventure for the whole family that will keep you on the edge of your seat and, ultimately, touch your heart. Directed by Chris Wedge, this movie stars Lucas Till, Danny Glover, Rob Lowe, and Amy Ryan.

Hidden Figures • Rated PG for thematic elements and some language • In theaters Jan. 6 • OK for kids 9+ • Reel Preview: 5 of 5 Reels Directed by Theodore Melfi, Hidden Figures is the incredible untold story of Katherine G. Johnson (Taraji P. Henson), Dorothy Vaughan (Octavia Spencer), and Mary Jackson (Janelle Monáe). These brilliant African-American women working at NASA served as the brains behind one of the greatest operations in history: the launch of astronaut John Glenn into orbit. This stunning achievement restored the nation’s confidence, turned around the Space Race, and galvanized the world. Also stars Kevin Costner, Kirsten Dunst, Jim Parsons, Mahershala Ali, Aldis Hodge, and Glen Powell.

Jane’s Reel Rating System • One Reel – Even the Force can’t save it.

• Two Reels – Coulda been a contender • Three Reels – Something to talk about.

• Four Reels – You want the truth? Great flick!

• Five Reels – Wow! The stuff dreams are made of.

BAYSTATEPARENT 49

ASK THE EXPERT

How To Stop a Biting Toddler

BY DR. LYNNE KARLSON

My daughter is a little over 2 and a biter. I’m so embarrassed, and I’m worried about letting her around other kids for fear she’ll bite them. She’s only 2, so I’m unsure how to fix this, other than an immediate “No!” and separating her from another kid. How can we work to curb this with her?

F

and wrong behaviors. If your child bites, you need to firmly say, “No biting,” then put them in time out (2 minutes is a good timeframe).

When you take them out of time out, it is important to reinforce the sentiment again. There is no need for much more explanation, you can’t reason with a 2-year-old.

Using this method repetitively — and in coordination with any of your child’s other caregivers — should help to alleviate and eliminate the behavior within a few months. Do not use any sort of violence in an effort to teach them that their behavior is wrong.

If a child bites you, you should not

irst and foremost, please know that you have nothing to be embarrassed about.

This is not a rare occurrence; it is actually quite common for toddlers and young children to express their frustration with biting.

While some children may have problems with hitting or kicking in addition to or in place of biting, at one point or another, almost every child goes through this stage. The job of a parent is to show children that this behavior is unacceptable.

As children enter the biting stage, it is a perfect time to introduce — and use — timeouts as a method of discipline and teaching right

bite them back; if they hit you, you should not hit them back. All this behavior does is show them that big people can hurt little people.

This is not what we want to be teaching our children.

If you, together with your child’s other caregivers, are utilizing the timeout technique strictly and the behavior does not improve after a few months, you should speak with your child’s pediatrician. Biting, hitting, and kicking may be physical manifestations of your child expressing their anger or frustration, but if they do not understand that it is wrong and find other ways to express themselves, it may

be worth speaking to their doctor to determine if there are reasons your child may be acting out.

All toddlers go through this phase in one way or another, so there is nothing to be embarrassed about.

As long as you are addressing the issue and teaching your child the correct behaviors, this too shall pass.

Dr. Lynne Karlson is chief of general pediatrics and adolescent medicine at Floating Hospital for Children at Tufts Medical Center and an associate professor at Tufts University School of Medicine.

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TAKE EIGHT

with Sam Weinman University of New Hampshire graduate and award-winning sports journalist Sam Weinman has seen a lot of winning and losing covering the PGA Tour and the National Hockey League, yet it was his experience as father (and coach) to his 11- and 9-year-old boys that inspired him to write Win at Losing: How Our Biggest Setbacks Can Lead to Our Greatest Gains, out this month. Weinman talks about how losing (in any life arena) is actually beneficial for children — and adults.

How is losing good for kids?

Losing is good for kids in a hundred different ways, but let’s start with the fact that it reminds them that you have to work for anything that’s truly worthwhile.

If we always won, we wouldn’t develop a respect for the process, in whatever the forum: sports, school, you name it. I also think losing helps kids develop the skills they need to weather disappointment. You don’t want to scare them at a young age, but eventually they need to know that’s a part of life.

3

You coach youth sports teams, so you see a lot of winning, losing, kids, and parents. Do you feel there is more pressure on winning today than when you were a child? How do you see this impact the children you coach?

There is more pressure on kids now because I believe parents in general have more invested in their kids’ athletic careers. I’m guilty of this, too. I go to almost all of my boys’ games and practices. Meanwhile, I can recall weeks going by when my Dad wouldn’t come to watch me play. It’s not that he loved me any less. I just think it wasn’t the command performance that it is now. How does this impact kids? Well, I think even subconsciously kids get the message that these games “matter,” which inevitably leaves them feeling even worse when things don’t go well.

What’s the main message parents should share with their kids when it comes to losing (regardless of the activity)?

Parents need to stress the fact that losing is inevitable, that it happens to everyone, and that ultimately it’s going to make kids better. They’ll grow from whatever setback they’ve endured, much more so than if they simply won. Far more times than not, there’s always a next game, next practice, or at least a next season, and kids need to be made aware they can use this experience to their advantage.

5

2

7

In the book, you write about many people who have lost — which story is your favorite?

I probably couldn’t pick one, because they all have real meaning to me. But there’s a pretty good message in Chapter 9 about the Columbia University football players who lost 44 straight games in the 1980s. This is a group of players who never won a single college football game, which might lead to the conclusion that the entire experience was a waste of time. In fact, a lot of those players went on to very successful careers in a variety of different fields, and they say it was their experience with losing that ultimately made them better men.

When I think about the message of my book, that story hits at the heart of what I was after.

What do you hope readers take away from Win at Losing?

I really hope readers come away feeling emboldened enough to put themselves out there without fear of failure. I started writing this book because I wanted to teach my boys about the value of losing. But to me, the themes discussed are not just in the aftermath of a loss. It’s just as much for when you’re about to head into a venture — whether it’s a game, a test, or a job interview — and you’re worried about everything going wrong. What all the stories in Win at Losing reinforce is that people are much more resilient than we give them credit for. Knowing that, they shouldn’t be afraid to throw themselves into the arena.

8

4

What are your thoughts on the practice of “everybody gets a trophy”?

I have a nuanced answer to this because I get this question a lot.

Giving everyone a trophy is unhealthy if your objective is to insulate kids from the sensation of failure. Like I said, they’re going to have to deal with it eventually. However, if you want to find ways to reward kids for more than just winning and losing — effort, showing good sportsmanship — I am OK with that because it helps kids develop an appreciation for that “process”I referenced earlier.

How can parents best teach their children to be resilient?

The most important thing a parent can do is to teach kids to embrace challenge, to encourage, as psychologist Carol Dweck calls it, “a growth mindset.” The more we can instill in our kids the belief that they can always get better and that there are benefits even to defeat, the better equipped they are to handle adversity.

54 JANUARY2017

6

Photo by Charlie Weinman

1

Why write about losing?

I have two boys, both very competitive, and both of whom I coach in youth sports.

What was apparent was that both struggled with even the most benign of setbacks.

Having experienced my own share of losses, I wanted to impress upon them that it’s OK to lose, and how much it can help. From there, I became intrigued by how others have dealt with the dynamic and what we can learn from them.

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