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contents table of
May 20 2 1 v olume 2 5
Mom mentors are parents to older children who get matched with first-time moms.
n u m b e r 13
features
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Mentoring program provides access to strong role models
in every issue 4 6 9 16 23
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Editor’s Note
Mom-to-mom mentor network transforms new parents’ lives
Herding Goofballs Finally Forever Very Special People The Last Word
Making your own baby food is easy!
bites 19 Nutrition:
Make Your Own Baby Food
20 Goose’s
Goodies: Blueberry Breakfast Cake
on the agenda 21 May Adventures:
Family-friendly Spots
Local moms take wine on the go with their Decanted wine truck
Happy campers will be back at overnight camp this summer BAYSTATEPARENT 3
A hands-on museum for families that blends science, nature, and play. ! ed
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At the beginning of this year I welcomed my second child, a baby boy named Owen, at the height of a global pandemic. I wore a face mask through labor and delivery. I attended every prenatal appointment alone, unable to share the excitement with my husband. And knowing that pregnant women are at an increased risk for severe illness from the coronavirus, I kept careful distance from strangers and family members alike. Having a baby in the midst of the COVID pandemic came with unique anxieties, but it wasn’t the scariest part of my pregnancy. Instead, what worried me most was the constant feeling that the love for my second baby would never be the same as that for my first. When my older son, Max, was born, it was a love that was overwhelming. It was a love that instantly swelled inside my chest and leaked out of my eyes. It was that gaga, sappy, sobbing kind of love. But three years later, when Owen -- perfectly pink, and plump and screaming -- was placed on my chest, I didn’t shed a tear. Days later, when we buckled him in his car seat and drove him home, I didn’t cry. And three months into being his mama, I’ve composedly watched him meet milestones that the first time around left me a blubbering, sentimental mess. It turns out those feelings I had were right -- my love for my second baby isn’t the same as the love for my first. But I’m realizing, that’s OK. In parenthood, we focus so much on our children, we sometimes overlook how much we learn about ourselves.The first time around, I was introduced to an intense new kind of love. And now, I’m learning there’s room for a whole other kind -- one that’s calmer, quieter, but just as strong. It’s a love that’s entirely different, but just as deep. OK, I know, enough with the sap. Along with all these new emotions, this mom-of-two gig has come with plenty of blowouts and chaos, meltdowns and mess. As beautiful as motherhood can be, it certainly isn’t always pretty. In this Mother’s Day issue, we celebrate it all. Motherhood is a job that is full of surprises. Here’s to all the things our littles ones teach us. Amanda
baystateparent executive editor DAVE NORDMAN
CREATIVE editor in chief AMANDA COLLINS BERNIER 508-767-9526 acollinsbernier@gannett.com
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BAYSTATEPARENT 5
Herding
Goofballs
May-triarch BY JOSH FARNSWORTH
M
ay is a special time at Casa de Farnsworth. The warmth returns to Central Massachusetts to allow me to officially put away the shovels without much guilt, my youngest celebrates his birthday - complete with modest demands of a Muppet-themed party with impressive fireworks display and a special someone else is celebrated. Twice, really. My wife, Joyanna. Mid-May specifically is a celebration of her birthday and Mother’s Day - some years on the same day. For a gift-buying procrastinator like me, it would usually mean double the red alert sirens sounding in my head trying to figure out several ways to honor/entertain/ surprise her. Her birthday wishes (at least when pandem6 MAY 2021
ics are not altering plans), however, are all about experiences. She happily foregoes the pricey goods and services for a trip with the kids and me. I believe the last few years before the pandemic have gone something like this: 2017: Trip to the zoo for the four of us. Trip to the beach for the four of us. 2018: Trip to the zoo for the four of us. Trip to the beach for the four of us. 2019: Any guesses? How did I luck out? When we all think forward as kids to the person we want to be with in the future as our “forever partner”, it’s typically an exercise in being superficial. As a kid, I was pretty sure that if I did marry someone, it would be another diehard sports fan whose idea of a romantic weekend was watching a marathon of college basketball games while eating more sugar than Buddy from “Elf.” I’m 39, and that still sounds
amazing, not going to lie. Essentially, I wanted fate to deal me...well...a second me. But the best things about Joyanna, especially as my partner in crime when it comes to parenting, are that they are far from me. She brings special things, thoughts, considerations, etc. I don’t always bring to the table. For example, in times when I may get frustrated with the goofballs about something, she can bring empathy to how they are feeling a lot quicker than I might (assuming I bring any empathy at all). When the kids want to cuddle in bed at 2 in the morning, I may roll my eyes. Joyanna rolls back the blanket and invites them to feel welcome and safe. She selflessly plans ahead - not just on gifts for others (although, I guarantee she has Christmas present ideas already in motion) but to have herself and/or the kids get engaged in acts of kindness, like making a card or two for someone who is living by themselves and might be
lonely during these pandemic times or calling up a friend to remind them how amazing they are and euphoric she still holds their time to be. And by involving the kids in these actions, she is a superb role model for kindness - even when no one is banging down your door demanding it. That’s Joyanna. (We’re working on the college basketball thing. One day at a time. ;)) She lends perspective I don’t always have. And that’s the beauty of parenting with someone you believe in trusting that your combined perspective and love and energy can help you through so many sleepless nights. That adaptability is something that comes in so much handier than I thought prior to being a parent. Much of parenting is improv theatre. There are three steps a day usually goes after you roll out of bed… 1. Make a plan 2. Hustle to try and execute that plan 3. When the plan goes sideways, rely on each other to steer the ship through choppy waters You are co-captains and need to trust each other fully to steer at times. Thinking about everything it means to have a partner in this crazy game called parenthood makes me believe May should include one more holiday… Single Parents’ Day. I take that back, make it Single Parents’ Week. Knowing how much work goes into parenting as a pair, I cannot fathom the energy needed to do it by yourself. If you are a single parent
and are reading this, I have two messages for you: How on earth do you have time to read this???? Seriously, please send your secret to me. I have to bribe my children to give me the time just to write this column! You are a special type of superhero. If you know a single parent this May, go out and drop off a great homemade meal for them. If health concerns during this pandemic are okay in your universe, offer to take the kids for a full day so the parent can spend a day doing whatever s/he wants. Superheroes don’t always ask for rewards. And yes, I know many would say that they are taking care of their kids, so that is the ultimate reward. Those are the heroes that could use, at the very least, a reminder phone call of how you see them grinding and doing wonderful things (But come on, get them that massage anyways!) As for me, I am going to continue reminding myself how lucky I am to have someone so unlike me co-piloting this experiment we call parenthood. Cheers to the woman I love. Joyanna, thank you. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go take care of another gift. Our 10th anniversary is in early June and those zoo tickets sell out quickly.
Josh Farnsworth is a husband, father of goofballs Cooper and Milo, goofball himself, and awardwinning writer and columnist living in Worcester. He can be reached for column ideas at josh.farnsworth@ yahoo.com.
DISCOVER YOUR NEXT ADVENTURE
Imagine climbing a mountain trail to a stunning vista. Paddling across a sparkling lake. Exploring miles of forest trails. Strolling through orchards laden with fresh fruit.
Discover your next adventure in North Central Massachusetts! VisitNorthCentral.com (Photo: Davis Farmland)
BAYSTATEPARENT 7
A little time, a
BIG DIFFERENCE Mentoring program helps families fill the summer months with fun BY JOAN GOODCHILD
their Bigs as touch points to guide them and offer advice. “We speak about different situations,” said Elias. “We have adult conversations about what’s going on in the world. Some of the talks we have when we go out to eat. They are always funny. He likes to joke around a lot.” “I definitely get different perspectives,” said Jamar. “For example, in school, I didn’t agree with my principal about something and he helped me see the principal’s side.” Hernandez said the program has been a wonderful constant for the boys. “We have been lucky ones because of their commitment,” she said of the Bigs.
have seen how the pandemic has exacerbated those inequities, fueling virtual dropout rates and pediatric mental health issues. A Big is an episodic camp that meets you where you are at.
Stopping summer slide: addressing inequities with fun and activities
M
aribel Hernandez knew she wanted to raise her 15-year-old twin sons, Elias and Jamar Bell, to experience a world outside their own neighborhood. A single mom raising a family in the Boston area, Hernandez also knew getting the boys involved in programs where they would have access to strong mentors and role models would help them get a different perspective in life. When the boys were 7, she enrolled them in the one-to-one youth mentoring program offered by Big Brothers Big Sisters of Eastern Massachusetts (BBBSEM). “I’m a strong believer that you need good adults in your kids’ lives to raise them to be glob-
8 MAY 2021
al humans,” said Hernandez. “I want them to be citizens of the world. In order to do that, they need to communicate effectively, and get to know other cultures and positive male figures.”
Now, nearly eight years later, both boys are “Little Brothers” (also known as Littles) who regularly meet up and spend time with the same two Big Brother mentors (known as Bigs) they were paired with at the start of their participation in the program. They both glowingly talk about the fun they have as part of the meetups. Whether it is heading out on a fun day of fishing, or simply hanging out and talking, both feel it has made a big difference in their lives to have
BBBSEM says the program also addresses a need for activities and fun during the upcoming summer months. As some families struggle with housing, food insecurity, unemployment and underemployment, having another caring adult in their children’s corner can be the difference between a child fulfilling his or her potential and struggling in or dropping out of school and experiencing depression or anxiety, say program officials The agency’s Chief Program Officer Terry McCarron says every summer, BBBSEM aims to stop summer learning loss for those who may not have the means to pay for camps and structured activities – especially since the COVID-19 pandemic took a toll on so many incomes. “Families that are well-resourced, for example, can give their children additional camp, travel and outdoor learning and engagement experiences than families with less access to those opportunities,” said McCarron. “For more than a year now we
Last summer, Big Brothers Big Sisters of Eastern Massachusetts had 2,800 active matches
Mentors create carefree and adventurous outlets for young people who want to experience the world around them and learn about themselves in the process. Instead of a week sleeping away at camp, a Big will come on weekends and shuttle a Little into a new formative learning experience.” Last summer, the agency had 2,800 active matches, with 107 new matches made between June and August. During the summer months, the agency helped Bigs and Littles remain in each other’s lives. That meant pivoting the usual in-person outings to virtual ones. BBBSEM continued to provide activities, resources and online engagement strategies so that the connections could continue, said McCarron. “Our matches responded brilliantly, continuing to meet virtually and learning together by having cooking competitions, doing art projects, exploring their respective and collective identities and celebrating life’s little victories.”
The relationship rewards go both ways
Mentors say their involvement is enriching as well. Brian Pinch, a Charlestown resident who has been mentoring Jamar Bell for nearly a decade, initially got involved simply to give back. A colleague at work was a part of the program and he persuaded Pinch to attend an information session. “It hit me that so many kids are on a waiting list waiting for mentors to enter the program,” said Pinch. Soon after, Pinch signed up to help and was paired. Now that he and Bell have known each other for several years, the relationship has matured from simply mentor and mentee to friendship. “As he got older, I’d say ‘Let’s just meet up and hang out.’ It’s certainly been a rocky year with COVID. For the most part in the last year and has been mostly virtually. But we have an easy friendship and often just text each other to catch up.” Monik Mehta, a Weston resident, was originally first aware of the program as a financial supporter. But he wanted to do more.
“Giving a check is fine, but giving your time is priceless.” Monik Mehta
finally
forever
April’s Child: Meet Aylin
Hi, my name is Aylin and I have a contagious laugh! Aylin is a 12-year-old girl of Hispanic descent with a great sense of humor who loves to draw. Those who meet Aylin immediately note her big smile, and it is clear that she takes pride in her appearance. Aylin enjoys working on craft projects, playing outside, riding her bike, and watching television. Aylin likes school and forms friendships well with additional support. She currently receives extra supports in class for social and emotional needs. Legally freed for adoption, Aylin is very much looking forward to becoming part of a loving family. Her social worker feels that she will do best in a family with two mothers,
“Giving a check is fine, but giving your time is priceless,” said Mehta. “I specifically
a mother and a father, or a single mother. Aylin will do well as an only child or with siblings that are older than her. She should be the youngest in the home, if possible. A family for Aylin must support her relationship with her younger sister, as well as help her visit with her biological mother twice a year, as specified in an Open Adoption Agreement. Can you provide the guidance, love and stability that a child needs? If you’re at least 18 years old, have a stable source of income, and room in your heart, you may be a perfect match to adopt a waiting child. Adoptive parents can be single, married, or partnered; experienced or not;
renters or homeowners; LGBTQ singles and couples. The process to adopt a child from foster care requires training, interviews, and home visits to determine if adoption is right for you, and if so, to help connect you with a child or sibling group that your family will be a good match for. To learn more about adoption from foster care, call the Massachusetts Adoption Resource Exchange (MARE) at (617) 964-6273 or visit www. mareinc.org.
wanted to help children. “ Mehta is Elias Bell’s mentor and says their relationship has evolved over years. Before COVID, they often spent time going to a mall or going to sporting events, but their time together has been mostly virtual over the last year. This summer the hope is to resume more in-person meet ups again and head to Mehta’s gym, where Elias enjoys playing basketball and lifting weights. Hernandez says every moment for her boys is a gift. “The mentors have embraced the boys as family members. Being able to have those man-to- man conversations I can’t have with them is so helpful. They have been able to show boys there is more than what they experience in their house.”
BBBSEM is enrolling and matching Littles and Bigs virtually. For more information, to register a child, or to become a volunteer, visit: www.emass bigs.org.
BAYSTATEPARENT 9
This mom-tomom mentor network is transforming new parents’ lives BY CHERYL MAGUIRE
A
woman peered into the double stroller and asked, “Are they twins?” “Yes,” I responded. “That must be difficult,” she said. I heard this comment often when my twins were first born. It was difficult. Really difficult. When I think back to that time period, two things helped me get through it: joining a group for moms of multiples (twins, triplets, etc.) and having a mentor. A mom mentor is a parent to older children who gets matched with a first-time mom. She provides support and feedback for the new mom. In my case, my mentor was assigned to me
10 MAY 2021
through a parenting group. She called me weekly in the beginning and then less often as I became adjusted to my new role as a parent of twins. There are various types of mentor groups available. I spoke with the founder of two, one I participated in. Both mentor programs use peer volunteers who are matched up with a recent-mom mentee. The group I belonged to is called Keeping Pace with Multiple Miracles. I spoke with Pam Pace, one of the founders, about the mentor program she created with co-founder Donna Baker. The mentor program began after Donna and Pam met in the hospital in 1994. Donna gave birth to triplets while Pam was on bedrest, pregnant with triplets. Donna became a mentor to Pam when her triplets were born three months later. They continued to support one another and then founded the nonprofit group. Their sister-like bond became the inspiration for the support they hoped to provide others. I also spoke with Christine Sweeney, LICSW, who founded the Parent Connection in 1991. This program is based at Best Israel Hospital
in Boston. It was created due to a need the OB-GYN nurses identified during followup calls from women who recently gave birth. Many of the new moms reported feeling overwhelmed or early symptoms of postpartum depression. One of the greatest benefits that parents have gained from mentor programs is a support system. When you first become a parent you may feel alone. If you don’t have family or friends nearby who understand your experience, it can be isolating. For many people, having a mentor provided a support system they were lacking. Even those who did have family or friends nearby said they didn’t always feel comfortable sharing the negative aspects of being a new parent with them. Alexis Petru participated in the mentoring program Mentoring Mothers,
“There’s still a stigma for women to talk about the ‘dark side of parenting.’” ALEXIS PETRU
located in San Francisco. According to Petru, “There’s still a stigma for women to talk about the ‘dark side of parenting.’ We’re still supposed to subscribe to that Hallmark-approved ‘enjoy every moment’ romanticized view of motherhood. During my mentoring group it was the first time I could really vent about my complicated feelings of motherhood … the anger, frustration, sadness and loneliness that goes along with the joy and wonder of raising children.” Sweeney noticed a similar experience in her mentoring program: “Since there isn’t an agenda, expectations, or judgments, women feel safe discussing their struggles. Some women who had difficulty getting pregnant may think they can’t complain about how hard it is to be a new mom. A mentor gives the new mom a sense of relief and safety that they can talk about their feelings.” Plus, women who are already moms can reassure new mothers, giving confidence and resources they can’t get elsewhere. Being a new parent is overwhelming. A lot of new parents question if they are correctly taking care of their baby. “A lot of new moms have questions about breastfeeding. Their mentor can help them provide answers and give them a sense of what is normal,” said Sweeney. The mentor can answer their questions and let their mentee know they are making progress, which increases their confidence.
In addition to answering questions, a mentor can help their mentee when they might not know how to ask for help or realize they need it. “Sometimes the new moms might have marital problems or financial issues, and the mentor will help them to get the resources they need,” says Pace. Sweeney also added that mentors are occasionally the ones to identify when a new mom is struggling with postpartum depression and will help the mentee receive the proper mental health services. Ultimately, mentors can help new moms with their ultimate goal: being the best parent possible. By having a support system and the proper resources, new parents are better
able to care for their babies. Mentors help care for the new moms when they are focused on caring for their newborns. This enables the mentee to be a better mom to their newborn. Where to find a new parent mentor program: Check with your local parent groups or at the local hospital to find a mentor program for new parents. In Massachusetts, new parents can check out Keeping Pace with Multiple Miracles or Parent Connection, but many other cities host parenting mentorship programs too. If you don’t have a mentor program near you, ask a friend or family member if they can be your new parent mentor or if they could recommend someone to mentor you. A weekly check-in phone call offering support and advice is what most mentors provide. Who knows — you could end up starting a mentorship network of your own! Cheryl Maguire holds a Master of Counseling Psychology degree. She is married and is the mother of twins and a daughter. Her writing has been published in The New York Times, The Washington Post, Parents Magazine, AARP, Healthline, Your Teen Magazine, and many other publications. You can find her at Twitter @ CherylMaguire05
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BAYSTATEPARENT 11
Melissa Costa and Julia Walderzak, owners of Decanted and their new wine truck named Winona.
Local moms take wine on the go with Decanted EL BY ISAB
SAMI
elissa Costa and Julia Walderzak are friends, mothers, entrepreneurs, and now, owners of Decanted wine truck, a mobile event catering service based around serving wine at private events. Costa and Walderzak met when Costa, a hairdresser for 17 years, started doing Walderzak’s hair. The two local moms in Northboro and Hudson became fast friends, and bonded more when they both became pregnant at the same time two years ago. 12 MAY 2021
Walderzak had a business idea: a mobile wine truck for event catering. When she needed a partner for the project, she went to Costa. “During COVID, everyone’s businesses began to deteriorate, including both of ours,” Costa said. “It was a struggle.” Before the pandemic, Walderzak owned H2K — Happy Healthy Kids Fitness — a non-competitive fitness program for kids and families, but when the pandemic began, the business was wiped out overnight, Walderzak said. She started thinking about a new business venture through the lens of the pandemic, and decided to combine a mobile business with her love of wine. With Costa on board, the friends got to work. They bought a vintage camper that they named Winona, and Costa’s husband gutted and renovated it, turning it into a mobile bar. Inside the van are two wine fridges, a mini-fridge for beer and cheese, a hand-washing sink, and a three bay sink. Two people can move around inside comfortably to serve wine, beer and cheese out of a side window, like an upscale,
alcoholic food truck. The duo has been working on the wine truck for nearly one year, and they are already completely booked for several weekends in May and June. “A lot of people love outdoor events and festivals, but you’re in a crowd,” Costa said. “We’re able to come to you and give you that fun experience that people can’t get these days.” Clients throwing an event can book the wine truck to serve an assortment of wine and bar snacks, selecting one of four packages: Uncork and Unwind; Pop, Fizz, Clink; the Winona Event Package; and the Winona Premium Event Package. Walderzak described Uncork and Unwind as a package for groups of friends or a “mom’s night out” event, with budget-friendly, but high quality wines. Pop, Fizz, Clink is a celebratory package for bridal or baby showers, or appropriate for a classy Prosecco brunch. The wine truck serves a 20 to 35 mile radius around Worcester, depending on the package selected. Each package has its own wine list, which Walderzak and Costa curated with their wine distributor, and an assortment of bar snacks and cheese platters. Clients are able to pick three white wines and three
reds for their event, with seven white and eight red wines to choose from in each package. “You get to pick everything from Pinot Grigio to Chardonnay, and we have wines from around the world,” Walderzak said. “It’s really exciting. We put a lot of work in tweaking the selection to still be within our price points and be amazing for the customers. We want to give them a taste from around the world and help them try wines they’ve never tried before.” Walderzak found her love of wine while working at Smith & Wollensky in New York City, and since then has traveled to Sonoma and Napa Valley to taste and collect wines. “I knew that this was something that I wanted to dive more into, and even still, I’m learning from our wine distributor,” she said. “It’s been a really fun experience and I think we’ve done a good job of making a wine list that will make everyone happy and feel good.” Walderzak and Costa plan to work every event for the next few months
Photos: Christine Peterson photos/Telegram & Gazette
as they get their business off the ground. Though they have only been taking bookings for two weeks, they say they have already received positive reactions from the community.
“This year people are obviously starting to feel a little more comfortable being in bigger groups, with vaccinations and masking and knowing more about COVID,” Costa said. “We’ve heard a lot of people say to us that it’s perfect timing and they would love to
book us. There’s still a lot of people nervous about going inside even though they’re allowing it now, so i think that because we have the capability to serve you outside, just like you were at a bar, it’s very different for people.” Between the two of them,
Costa and Walderzak have seven kids, and currently none of them attend in-person school. “We’re teachers, moms, wives and we had the crazy (idea) to start a business during a pandemic, and we are making it work,” Walderzak said with a laugh. “I think this
has been a really messy year, and a really traumatic year for all ages, and I think out of trauma comes positivity and you grow from that, so that’s where we’re coming from as a business. “I think events in general are going to be smaller for a long time, so this is something we can offer people that’s authentic and fun. We’re local moms so people feel very connected to us. I think that’s definitely something that has helped us with this business and the pandemic,” she said. Costa said so far they have booked a 40th birthday party, corporate events and bridal showers. She said people have been supportive in “sharing the love.”
BAYSTATEPARENT 13
PREPARE TO WELCOME BACK KIDS THIS SUMMER BY DANIELLE RAY
The sights and sounds of happy campers will be back this summer as several area camps are once again able to offer overnight options with the state’s reopening plan. 14 MAY 2021
Last summer, overnight camps were closed as part of COVID-19 restrictions. Girl Scouts of Central and Western Massachusetts (GSCWM) will be opening up camps in July. The longest continuously running Girl Scout camp in the country is in Western Massachusetts, Camp Bonnie Brae in East Otis, which was established in 1919. Overnight camp will be offered there this summer as well as at Camp Green Eyrie in Harvard, along with day camp at both Camp Laurel Wood in Spencer and Camp Lewis Perkins in South Hadley. “Camping has always been a place for girls to discover their individuality, strength, intellect, and embrace those qualities in their friends,” said Sara Rowan Senior Director, Girl Experience, GSCWM. “Camping redefines what is possible for girls.” Rowan said they are looking forward to overnight and day camps kicking off in July. The camps have been closed since last May when “in light of the uncertainty associated with COVID-19” they decided to
cancel all day and overnight camps. “This year, federal, state, and local officials have provided guidance to support a healthy opening for both day and overnight camps,” Rowan said. “We only own, maintain, and improve camp properties for girls and, if we can safely do so, we will try to provide them the life-changing experience of overnight camping.” Rowan said they have elected to have all four GSCWM camps open this summer based on Governor Charlie Baker’s camp reopening plan as well as Massachusetts Department of Public Health, local boards of health, and Centers for Disease Control
guidelines. Many standard protocols will be in place at the camps including frequent washing hands, maintaining physical distancing, wearing masks, and not sharing family-style meals. “We are working to ensure we fully understand this year’s guidelines and are continually monitoring for any changes,” Rowan said, adding that they will also be following recommendations from the American Camping Association and the Massachusetts Camping Association. Rowan said they hire 60 to 80 people each summer to staff the four camps where between 800 to 1,000 girls attend camp each summer, many for multiple week-long sessions. “Outdoor programming is a pillar of the Girl Scouts program that offers progressive learning experiences,” she said. “Many day campers look forward to taking the step to a week of overnight camping.” Rowan said the reaction from campers and their families to overnight camp resuming has been positive, and that parents and Girl Scouts alike are “thrilled” the camps will be open again. “This year in particular has been one in which girls have had to stay indoors, have missed many of their typical activities, and have spent more hours than usual
The response to the news of overnight camps being offered again has been
Sheryl Moore, Executive Director, Camp Marshall
summer camp sessions as well as year-round programs, riding lessons, facility rentals and more. The property was originally opened as a Civilian Conservation Corps. Camp in the 1930s and was repurposed as a summer camp in the 1950s in cooperation with 4-H. Sheryl Moore has been the Executive Director at Camp Marshall since March of last year. She said they will be offering overnight camps this year after offering only day camps last summer. “We operated with only day programming last summer as the state did not allow residential camp programming,” she said, adding that they had zero cases of COVID-19 within Camp Marshall programming last year. “We were very proud of our successes in operating last summer and were really inspired to operate last year out of a compelling desire to provide some sense of normalcy for the children of our community in a time when we felt that it was very needed.”
As a year-round operation, Moore said they function with six employees but in the summer their staff can grow to as large as 60 members. She said they will also be following state and local guidelines and recommendations when it comes to keeping staff and campers safe. “We will be utilizing the same protocols that we had in place last year with an additional testing component for our residential campers added for this year,” she said. “Protocols from last year included things like social distancing, face coverings, modified meal services, and added sanitizing and cleaning procedures as well as health screenings.” Moore said the response from campers and their families to the news of overnight camps being offered again has been “amazing.” “Many of our programs are nearing registration capacity and some have already waitlisted,” she said. “So many families are looking forward to a return to some sem-
blance of a more normal summer and with our success from last year’s day programming, they are feeling confident in our abilities to apply the protocols in our programing necessary to keep their campers safe and healthy.” Moore said they are glad to have the opportunity to offer campers “a needed outlet”, some normalcy for children who have not had that in their lives over the last year. “The ability to go to summer camp will have such a positive impact on campers mental health after a very stressful time in their lives,” she said. “Many kids missed out on so many things over the past year like the ability to socialize, having opportunity for physical activity, access to outdoor space, and so much more. We are excited to be able to provide these opportunities for our campers.”
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on screens,” Rowan said. “Girl Scout camps give girls the opportunity to be outside enjoying nature, making new friends, and challenging themselves with new activities and adventures.” Camp Avoda, a Jewish summer camp for boys located on Lake Tispaquin in Middleboro that has been around for over 90 years, is also planning to open for overnight summer camps this year. “We are working to make it a great summer,” says a statement posted to the Camp Avoda website. “We all want
camp more than ever and boys need social interaction, outdoor experiences, and less screen time. “With guidance from the Center for Disease Control, the American Camp Association, and the State of Massachusetts, we will make sure that we have safety protocols in place. We are also gathering information and best practices from summer camps who were allowed to open this past summer. Their incident rates were extremely low and we anticipate a safe, successful summer.” Camp Marshall in Spencer offers traditional and equestrian day or overnight
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special people
Grandparenting a child with autism The unique support grandparents have offer helping to raise a child with ASD BY JOAN GOODCHILD
M
ost families today know about autism – either through a family member with autism, or a friend or relative. According to the Centers for Disease Control, autism’s prevalence is 1 in 54 children; about one-third are nonverbal and one-third have an intellectual disorder. Parenting a child with autism is challenging on many days, but the role of the grandparent can be to help provide parents with much needed support and help. The Discovery Museum in Acton recently dove into the responsibilities of grandparenting a child with autism through a panel discussion. Charlie Washburn, a retiree and grandfather of two boys on the autism spectrum, was
joined by Donna Danielewski, senior director of the Carl and Ruth Shapiro Family National Center for Accessible Media at WGBH and mother of a child with autism. “When the diagnosis is new, everyone is learning,” said Washburn. “Ease up and leave room for mistakes. Enjoy and appreciate their unique view on the world.” The two panelists offered suggestions for how to maximize the grandparenting role in relationships with grandchildren who have been diagnosed with ASD. Danielewski, whose 17-year-old son was diagnosed at age 7, recommends grandparents help their children by finding ways to give them a break whenever possible. Washburn suggests even basic tasks, like helping with a load of wash, can be game-changing in the day for a stressed parent of a child with ASD.
ite ebs minars w r t ou g se Visi comin up for
Finding support and “your neighborhood” is critical for families parenting and grandparenting kids with ASD. “The role of the grandparent is very different, and it emanates from your role as a parent. And the first opportunity is to support the parent – your child – in any number of ways. Take kids overnight if possible and give the parents a break. It is important to be aware and learn what you can, but your role is to be the parent’s parent.”
A soft place to land
Sometimes a grandparent’s role is to bite your tongue,
said Danielewski. Individuals with ASD often also have sensory issues and can have trouble in over-stimulating situations that might not bother atypical children. Instead of judging, step in and help. “They just need a soft place to land,” she said. Danielewski detailed how her mother-in-law would take her son and pull up chairs in front of the washing machine and explain how it worked. “He was fascinated by it,” she said. Those kind of moments were incredibly helpful, she said. “It was exactly what I needed and what he needed. It has
no basis in medical textbooks, but it was what he needed, and it gave him a break to calm down.” Danielewski also urged grandparents to be willing to relax a little bit with traditions. If a child with autism can’t sit through a family dinner, then don’t insist. Instead, find ways to help kids be more comfortable. “In the very early years, when you are trying to figure out what these behaviors are, be the one that helps with that,” she said. “Create the safe space. Help to create the safe space for them to be
We’re Here to Help Whether your loved one with special needs is an adult or a child, we can help with:
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Photography by Sam Montanez, an artist living with autism and Asperger syndrome
16 MAY 2021
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comfortable. Find a space at a family gathering, for example. This can make a huge difference to the parent.” Washburn urged grandparents to check their expectations for appropriate behavior because children with autism cannot be expected to behave the same way another child might. “If I said don’t do something and then said it a second time, I don’t want to be saying it a third time,” he said. “I had to learn that approach is useless because of the child’s ability to process that kind of instruction. It’s not a personal thing. It took me awhile to learn that intellectually, and to physically understand it,” he said. “It takes self-control as a parent or grandparent not to discipline in the same way,” added Danielewski.
Meltdowns, in particular, can be very difficult for kids with ASD. “They tend to be very upsetting. The child is very upset. They are kind of inconsolable. As grandparents and parents, we are programmed to help console. But you often have to suck it up and ride it out. If it’s a safety issue you have to of course deal with that. But basically, you have to ride it out. And know that it will run its course.”
Grandfather Charlie Washburn advises: “Ease up and leave room for mistakes. Enjoy and appreciate their unique view on the world.”
Find your neighborhood
Finding support and what Danielewski referred to as “your neighborhood” is critical for families parenting and grandparenting kids with ASD. “Find the people that support you,” she said. “Those that will support you aren’t always the professionals in your life. It can be anywhere. Look for them everywhere, in the places that you least expect it.”
But ultimately remember to take time and enjoy both the gifts and the challenges that grandparenting a child with ASD can offer in life. “It’s important to be aware that this is a beautiful
journey,” said Washburn. “That all of your children and grandchildren are gifted, unique individuals. You are quite lucky to have them in your life. Not that there aren’t challenges, but
you are embarking on a very love-filled journey. We are all uniquely human. The folks we love and care for on the spectrum are able to lead us to a deeper learning of that axiom.”
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BAYSTATEPARENT 17
Walk for Birthdays
A virtual walk and fitness challenge for families kicks off this month to raise funds to help homeless children have a happy birthday. Natick-based Birthday Wishes, a nonprofit that brings the magic of birthday parties to thousands of homeless children and their families at nearly 200 shelters each year, is holding its 10th annual Walk for Birthdays. Launching May 1 and running through June 6, the virtual walk is an easy way to involve children in giving back to other kids. The goal is for participants to collectively log 15,000 miles. Any activity that can be measured in miles counts, so hop on your bike, put on your running shoes or jump in a pool. Every mile logged and every dollar raised will benefit a local child impacted by homelessness. To get involved, visit birthdaywishes.org.
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SUMMER IS COMING!
Grab a copy of next month’s issue for all sorts of fun in the sun ideas. Beach trips, spray parks, outdoor games and more ... it’s your guide to making it a summer to remember!
nutrition
Tips for making your own baby food
W
ith the recent reports of commercial baby food containing heavy metals, including lead, arsenic and mercury, at levels above federal government guidelines, some parents are being forced to look for alternatives. One alternative method is to make your own baby food. Here are a few tips to make healthy and cost-saving homemade baby food, according to Whattoexpect.com:
SUPPLIES
PREPARE THE INGREDIENTS Grains and cereals
q A hand-turned food mill (which usually has different blades for different textured foods) q A baby food grinder q A sieve or strainer q An all-in-one baby food maker (which both steamcooks and then purées the food)
Fruits and veggies
Meats and poultry
Cook grains according to package instructions (good choices include single-grain, iron-enriched, wholegrain varieties, such as whole-grain oat or whole-grain barley) and purée or grind them. Bake, steam or boil vegetables and hard fruits like apples before puréeing or grinding them. Peel, and either pit or strain as needed, then purée in a blender, grinder or food mill, adding liquid (water, breast milk or formula) to achieve the desired consistency. Purée trimmed and skinned cooked meats and poultry either alone or with already-introduced foods such as vegetables for an all-in-one meal.
BAYSTATEPARENT 19
goose’s goodies
Blueberry Breakfast Cake Moist, lemony and chock-full of blueberries, this not-too-sweet cake is perfect for a Mother’s Day breakfast.
Ingredients ½ cup unsalted butter, softened Zest from one lemon plus 1 tsp. fresh juice 1 cup sugar (set aside 1 tbsp. to sprinkle on top) 1 egg 1 tsp. Vanilla 2 cups all-purpose flour (set aside ¼ cup to toss with blueberries) 2 tsp. baking powder 1 tsp. Salt 2 cups fresh blueberries ½ cup buttermilk
Directions Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Grease an 8-inch square baking pan and set aside. With a mixer, cream the butter with the lemon zest and the 1 cup minus 1 tablespoon of sugar until light and fluffy. Add the egg, vanilla and lemon juice and beat until combined. Toss the blueberries with ¼ cup of flour, then, in a separate bowl, whisk together the remaining flour, baking powder and salt. Add half of the flour mixture to the batter, and stir with spatula to incorporate. Add all of the buttermilk. Stir. Add remaining flour, and stir until flour is absorbed. Fold in the blueberries.
20 MAY 2021
Spread the batter into the prepared pan. Sprinkle the batter with the remaining tablespoon of sugar. Bake for 40 to 45 minutes. Check with a toothpick for doneness. If necessary, return the pan to the oven to cook for a few more minutes. Let cool before serving. Laurie Silva Collins, known affectionately as Goose by her grandkids, is a nurse, mother and grandmother who is happiest when she’s in the kitchen, cooking and baking for those she loves. She learned to cook from her parents, and has perfected her recipes over the years while raising three daughters… and spoiling seven grandchildren.
on the
agenda
8
MAY ADVENTURES family fun things to do this month
Do Woodpeckers get headaches?
Befriend the Barnyard
Saturdays and Sundays in May, 1-4 p.m. at Appleton Farms Hamilton and Ipswich Member adult, child: $10; Nonmember adult, child: $15; Children under 3 free. Come to the barnyard at Appleton Farms to get up close and friendly with the livestock animals. Visitors can meet and pet the barnyard animals in a relaxed and guided setting. This program is fun for families with young children. Be sure to wear sneakers or other closed-toe shoes when visiting the barnyard. Participants will be asked to follow Covid-19 related guidelines, including wearing face coverings and maintaining social distance. Space is limited for this event and pre-registration is required. Visit thetrustees. org.
Saturday, May 8, 1-3 p.m. Broad Meadow Brook Conservation Center and Wildlife Sanctuary, Worcester Members adults: $15, children:$10; non-members adults: $18, children: $12 Enjoy a spring day at the sanctuary while learning about the woodpeckers that live at Broad Meadow Brook. Find out why they “jackhammer” the trees and then hit the trails to search for different woodpecker species, including the tiny Downy Woodpecker to the crow-sized Pileated Woodpecker. See how these birds eat, communicate, and shape the forest around them. This program will be conducted in accordance with current Covid-19 protocols with classes limited to 15 pre-registered participants. Face coverings and social distancing are required. For more check out massaudubon.org.
Mothers Day Family Yoga in the Park
This activity is for ages 3-12.
Sunday, May 9, 10:30- 11 a.m at deCordova Sculpture Park and Museum, Lincoln Member: adult $12, child $6; nonmember: adult $20, child $10 Get centered and get moving as a family in this kid-friendly yoga class that balances the wonder and imagination of children with the elements of yoga that facilitate mindfulness, self-regulation and joy. This activity is for ages 3-12 with a caregiver and preregistration is required. Ticket includes entry to the sculpture park. Bring a water bottle and your own mat. Face masks and social distancing are required. Visit thetrustees.org.
Raccoons and Opossums
Saturday May 15, 10:30 a.m. - 12 p.m at Boston Nature Center and Wildlife Sanctuary, Mattapan Members: adults, children $10; non-members: adults, children $13. Come to the Nature Center to learn about adorable and adaptable raccoons and North America’s only marsupial - the opossum in this Saturday morning program. Find out more fun facts while creating animal art and then looking for signs of these critters along the sanctuary’s trails. Groups are limited to 11 pre-registered children and adults; walk-ins cannot be accommodated. Participants are required to wear a face covering and follow social distancing guidelines.Visit massaudubon. org.
BAYSTATEPARENT 21
Sunday Morning Bird Walks
Sunday, May 16, 7:30-9:30 a.m. at Wachusett Meadow Wildlife Sanctuary, Princeton Members: adult, child $10; nonmembers: adult, child $14 Bring your binoculars and hone your birding skills while wandering the Wachusett Meadow trails in search of resident birds and spring migrants. Improve your visual ID and birding-by-ear techniques, while enjoying the outdoors. Birders of all skill levels are welcome; those ages 12-16 must be accompanied by a participating adult. Class is limited to 11, pre-registration is required and participants must wear a face covering and follow social distancing guidelines. Visit massaudubon.org.
Hike & Seek: Sprouts of Spring
May 1-16, 9 a.m. - 5 p.m. at Stevens-Coolidge House & Gardens, North Andover Member family: $4; non-member family $8 Spring has arrived and the woodland forest is a revolving world of new plant species as far as the eye can see. Families are encouraged to explore the outdoors and reconnect with nature springing to life on this self-guided tour. Travel beyond the trails to see the life-cycle of plants, trees, fungi and some surprises spouting up within the woodlands on the Stevens-to-Stevens trail in North Andover. Participants will be emailed an activity bundle to help them look for clues along the trail and work as a team to discover the natural world beneath their feet and under their nose. Pre-registration required to receive a downloadable bundle of the created activities, including maps, scavenger hunt, crafts, additional reading list and recipes. The special trail will run through May 16. Face masks are required while on the trail. Visit thetrustees.org
Fire Pit Picnics
Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays in May (except Mother’s Day) at Appleton Farms, Hamilton & Ipswich Member family: $60; nonmember family: $75 Bring your family and gather ‘round the fire pit to make s’mores and memories at Appleton Farms. Each ticket is good for up to 6 people and includes wood for burning and a kit with supplies for making s’mores. Bring your own food or purchase homemade food items available including soups, salads, fresh baked breads and pretzels and an assortment of baked goods. Each group must be one that is socially distancing together and COVID regulations, including wearing face coverings when you’re not seated at your fire pit, must be followed. Space is limited and pre-registration is recommended. Visit thetrustees.org.
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22 MAY 2021
Nocturnal Wild Walks
Saturday, May 15, 6:30-8:30 p.m. at Chestnut Hill Farm, Southborough Member: adult $15, child $12; nonmember: adult $25, child $10 Take a 30-minute night hike by moonlight with Trustees ranger and naturalist Tim Puopolo and learn how plants and animals cope with the changing seasons. Watch for animal tracks and other signs of nocturnal wildlife on the farm and through the woods. The hike will be followed by time around the campfire with hot cocoa and s’mores. Wear boots or appropriate shoes for hiking in wet/ muddy areas and bring a flashlight. Space is limited and pre-registration is required. Participants are required to follow COVID guidelines including wearing face coverings and social distancing. Visit thetrustees.org.
THE
Readers share their mom’s best advice
LAST WORD
BY AMANDA COLLINS BERNIER
There was a time I’d roll my eyes at every well meaning tidbit my mom would impart, but as I’ve grown older -- and especially since I’ve become a mother myself -- I appreciate all those words of wisdom. Whether it’s about parenting, or just life in general, I soak in that motherly advice. In celebration of Mother’s Day, we asked readers to share the best advice their mom’s ever gave them. Here’s what they said.
“There will always be people that have more than you, and there will always be people that have less than you. Be happy with what you have.” NICOLE W.
“If you don’t see the good in someone, you’re not looking hard enough.” MARIE P.
“Volunteer and do what needs to be done, no matter what it is, but don’t expect accolades. Doing good is its own reward.” “The days are long but the years are short.”
TRICIA F.
AMANDA B. BAYSTATEPARENT 23
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