Baystateparent January 2021

PRICELESS

Massachusetts’ Premier Magazine For Families Since 1996

JANUARY 2021

Mommy Burnout

5

fun indoor activities!

Coping with Pandemic Parenting

The Best Snow Tubing Parks

Apps for Teen Anxiety

Snowy Winter DIY

WM-0000457161-01

2 DECEMBER2020

contents table of

january 2021

volume 25

number 9

in every issue 4 5 6 8 9 15 27

Editor’s Note

bites

Finally Forever

18 Nutrition: What’s

Good to Know

the Deal with Chocolate Milk?

Herding Goofballs Finally Forever Very Special People

19 Goose’s Goodies:

Take Eight

features

Alphabet Vegetable Soup

10

6 Life Lessons the Pandemic Can Teach Our Kids

12

The Burnout is Real: Coping with Pandemic Parenting

17

Winter DIY: Make Your Own Snow

on the agenda 20 5 Indoor Winter Activities 22 The List: 6 Spots for Snow Tubing 23 Adventures: 7 Family Fun Events This Month

You can spend a day on the slopes for as little as $15!

25

New Year’s Resolutions for Parenting Teens

10 You can impart valuable skills and characteristics during the pandemic.

BAYSTATEPARENT 3

My e t i r o v a F Th ings

Being more mindful is one of my goals this new year, and I’m hoping to introduce the concept to my three-year-old, too.

Mindful Moments, a card deck by Boundless Blooms, has easy-to-follow guided exercises that blend meditation and confidence boosting positive affirmations for little ones. I’m looking forward to using the cards to help my son discover new ways to breathe, move, and use his senses to explore… and practicing along with him!

editor’s note In the very beginning, the calendar entries got me.

Popping up on my phone, or circled on the calendar on the wall: the music class at the library, the annual Easter egg hunt, my husband’s birthday party. Each ping or circled date was a reminder of where we had planned to be. As those early COVID cancelations came, I wondered what things would look like in a few flips of the calendar pages.

During those first weeks of the coronavirus pandemic, never did I imagine how many pages of uncertainty we’d turn. Spring turned into summer, summer became fall, the holidays have passed and winter has settled in. My son has turned three since it all started. I’ve even gone through an entire pregnancy and am ready to welcome my second child.

And now instead of turning the page, I’m hanging a whole new calendar on the wall.

Usually, the New Year is a time to look ahead, but this year feels a little different. A lot of us are entering this year not with a sense of renewal, but at a tipping point. Many parents were already burned out by the demands of pandemic child-rearing last spring. Summer, with school out and many camps closed, brought no relief. Then came fall, with many parents juggling the ins and outs of remote learning, and an unprecedented holiday season. Finally, 2020 is over, but most of us are in the same situation of balancing work, child care, education, and keeping their families safe.

Still, a New Year does bring a certain level of hope. Thanks to COVID-19 vaccine breakthroughs, 2021 should bring more activities, less chaos, and just a bit more normalcy. But the return to life as we knew it won’t happen at the stroke of midnight on January 1. As you ease into 2021, you can find tips for restoring yourself and finding just a little time for self-care (whatever that means these days) in our “Mommy Burnout” feature on page 12.

Here’s to the New Year. May we find a way to recharge, and may we finally be able to pencil some fun onto that calendar.

Amanda 4 JANUARY 2021

As I welcome my second baby this month, I’m so excited to have a copy of “Mama’s Milk & Me.” This journal for nursing mothers includes blank space for reflection, as well as breastfeeding tips and information. It’s also a countdown and a guide to weaning. I love that there’s something to document the special journey and bond during this fleeting moment of motherhood.

A new email subscription is bringing back the old tradition of storytelling, but in a modern way. Story Tyke delivers original bedtime stories to busy parents’ inbox every school night. The free service gives you original bedtime stories for 4-8 year olds that are fun, engaging, and ready to unleash your child’s imagination. Sign up at storytyke.com.

Did you know it’s National Soup Month?

I’ll be “celebrating” with one of my favorite classic combos: grilled cheese and tomato soup. Head to baystateparent.com for our recipe for a creamy, dreamy, homemade tomato bisque, made extra kid-friendly with the addition of grilled cheese croutons.

baystateparent executive editor DAVE NORDMAN

CREATIVE editor in chief AMANDA COLLINS BERNIER 508-767-9526 acollinsbernier@gannett.com

creative director CHRISTINA LEVERE christina.levere @gmail.com

A hands-on museum for families that blends science, nature, and play. ! d

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ADVERTISING sales manager BRITTANY PRENDIVILLE 774-420-4095 bprendiville@localiq.com account executive KATHY PUFFER 508-767-9544 kpuffer@localiq.com

account executive REGINA STILLINGS 508-767-9546 rstillings@localiq.com

baystateparent is published monthly and is distributed free of charge throughout Massachusetts.

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We’re Wide Open Join us to see bald eagles, explore our 500+ miles of trails and visit our historic downtowns & villages

LOOKING FOR PARENTING SUPPORT? UMass Memorial Medical Center and New England Prenatal and Family Education offer virtual classes for expecting women, new moms, their families and support persons.

Call 855-366-5221 or visit umassmemorial.org/healthymoms

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Visit TheLastGreenValley.org or call 860-774-3300 BAYSTATEPARENT 5

Good to

Know The American Academy of Pediatrics is recommending that youth athletes wear cloth face coverings at all times for group training, competition, and on the sidelines. In their updated guidance, pediatricians say face coverings have been shown to decrease transmission rates of COVID-19, and have been found to be tolerated well by the majority of people who wear them for exercise. Previously, AAP recommended that face coverings be worn by athletes on the sidelines and during less vigorous activity.

Postpartum depression may persist three years after giving birth, a new study has revealed.

Approximately 1 in 4 women experienced high levels of depressive symptoms at some point in the three years after giving birth; the rest of the women experienced low levels of depression throughout the three-year span. The findings suggest that extending screening for postpartum depressive symptoms for at least two years, as opposed to the current six months, after childbirth may be beneficial.

National Hot Chocolate Day is January 31, and what better way to celebrate than with a hot cup of cocoa? If you’re willing to skip your morning coffee and grab a hot chocolate instead, keep your eye out for deals at restaurants and stores. In the past, Wendy’s, Starbucks, and Cumberland Farms have offered freebies and other hot deals to celebrate this sweet “holiday.”

6 JANUARY 2021

Car Seats 101: Free help for available for confused parents A correctly used child safety seat can reduce your child’s risk by as much as 71%.

C

ar seats. Every kid sits in one at some point, so why, oh why are they so complicated? Carseat shopping, selection and installation can be pretty intimidating, but the National Safety Council is helping confused parents and caregivers with a free, new online course. “Car Seat Basics” is available at cpsboard.org/trainings to help participants understand the four phases of child passenger safety: rear-facing car seats, forwardfacing car seats, booster seats and seat belts.

Car crashes are a leading cause of death for children between the ages of 1 and 14. In the U.S., 35% of children who died in traffic crashes in 2018 were unrestrained and many others were inadequately restrained. In fact, the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration estimates car seats are installed or used incorrectly in 46% of cases, and when drivers were unrestrained, 63% of children were also unrestrained.

The good news? A correctly used child safety seat can reduce your child’s risk by as much as 71%.

“Car Seat Basics” help moms, dads and caregivers feel more confident about correct car seat use through the presentation of evidence-based guidelines. Completion of this training does not result in a child passenger safety certification. Looking for more info?

Check out these 7 expert tips from our partners at Reviewed.com.

Choosing a seat that's right for your baby and your lifestyle

You may be tempted to grab that hand-me-down that’s been sitting in your cousin’s garage for the past few years, but think again. If there is one kids’ item you should always invest in, it’s a good car seat.

Keep in mind that just because we said “invest” that doesn’t necessarily mean that you need to pay top dollar to get the safest car seat, but there are some considerations.

1. READ THE OWNER’S MANUAL OF YOUR CAR

Before you even embark on your search for the right car seat, get to know your car.

Read your owner’s manual and find out how car seats can most safely be installed in your specific make and model.

Older cars tend to require a seat belt, while newer cars

use the Lower Anchors and Tethers for Children (LATCH) system. If your car has a LATCH system and it’s something you want to use, the middle seat is the safest spot for a car seat. Make sure your car has a middle seat LATCH before you assume and buy a car seat that requires one.

Ben Hoffman, medical director of the Tom Sargent Safety Center, says you should also make sure that there is ample space for the seat once it’s installed. Take out some measuring tape and make sure there is room enough in your back seat for the car seat to properly and safely fit. “Once installed in a rear-facing position, the seat shouldn’t be touching the backs of the two front seats,” says Hoffman.

2. CHOOSE YOUR TYPE

There are three basic types of seats: rearfacing; forward-facing; and convertible, which converts from rear to forward-facing. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, most children should be kept rear-facing until they are at least 2 years old, and some longer. If you are buying for a child 2 years old or younger, you should be looking for a rear-facing or convertible car seat. "A lot of families worry that a child might be uncomfortable or they might hurt their legs in an accident if they are rear-facing. Those are two things they shouldn't worry about," says Hoffman.

It’s recommended that children ride in rear-facing

seats as long as possible, and up to the length and weight limits of their car safety seat because a rear-facing car seat will absorb the force of a crash and support the head, neck and spine. When children—especially toddlers—ride forwardfacing, their heads may jolt forward during the force of the crash, making the child more susceptible to serious head, neck, and spinal injuries.

“Milestones are exciting, but if there is one milestone I wouldn’t push it’s turning a car-seat forward-facing too soon,” says Hoffman. “For infants and toddlers you should only be looking at rearfacing or convertible car seats.”

3. SIZE IS EVERYTHING

It may be tempting to search for seats based on age recommendations, but, as they say, age is just a number. Weight and height are really the most dependable factors for determining if the seat you are buying is the right fit, and if it will continue to be the right fit for years to come.

Hoffman says that while weight and height are equally important when determining if your child has sized out of a seat, he always recommends height as the main determining factor for finding a car seat that will adequately grow with your child.

“Most kids will outgrow the length of their car seat before the weight limit,” says Hoffman. Because a growth spurt may be cause for a new seat purchase or for turning the seat to be forward-facing prematurely, look for seats that have a substantial height limit that will keep them rear-facing as long as possible.

4. PRICIER DOESN’T MEAN BETTER

Just because a car seat is the most expensive, doesn’t mean that its safety features exceed some of the more affordable models. Many times the higher price point may be for higher quality fabric, or certain bells and whistles that make installation easier, like a button anchor attachment system as opposed to a fully manual one. Every child and car is different, so while we do recommend researching newer models and asking around for suggestions, know that the cost of a seat in no way translates to its safety.

Hoffman and Wes Bender, Safe Kids Worldwide child passenger safety technician and instructor, say you should look more at how a car seat functions in your daily life than at whether or not it comes in fashionable colors or high end fabrics.

“Even though there are many different models with a wide range of prices and features, in order to be sold in the United States, all car seats must meet or exceed the Federal Motor Vehicles Safety Standards established by the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration,” says Bender.

He goes on to explain that the manufacturer sticker on a car seat will say if the seat meets the federal standard (FMVSS 213). “Whether a car seat or booster seat costs $80, $180, or $380, it meets the same federal safety standards and will keep kids safe if used correctly. The best car seat or booster seat is the one that fits the child, fits the car, fits the family's budget, and that will be used correctly every time,” says Bender.

5. FOCUS ON THE SAFETY FEATURES

Be sure you purchase a seat with a five-point harness, which features two connected shoulder straps that clip into a strap between the legs.

According to Safe Kids, the “NHTSA recommends children 4 to 7 to remain in a forward-

facing car seat with a five-point harness until the child reaches the top height or weight limit allowed by the seat. At which time, the child can move into a belt positioning booster.” A five-point harness is essential for keeping a child who may not know how to properly sit—or who may slump or fall asleep in the car—safe in any collision.

Additional safety features that we recommend are sideimpact protection, and LATCH system compatibility—the latter of which can help anchor and stabilize your child’s car seat with minimal movement.

6. FIND THE PERFECT FIT While finding a seat that comfortably accommodates the size of your child is of the utmost importance, that’s not the only fit you need to consider when buying a car seat. Hoffman and Bender say you also need to determine if the seat is a good fit for your vehicle and the needs of your family.

“You may invest in the most highly ranked car seat on the market but it won’t ultimately be the safest if it doesn’t fit in your car or fit your family’s needs,” says Hoffman. He says to consider if you have more than one child riding in a car seat at one time. Check to see if your seat’s tethers attach on the sides or from the top, and which type of tether works best in your car. Consider the make and model of your car and how the seat positions itself when fully installed.

“Vehicle manufacturers don’t think of car seats—a seat that fits really well in one car or SUV might not fit very well in another, and it’s always important to consider how many people will be in the car at a given time,” says Hoffman.

“I recommend you really think about your lifestyle and what your family's needs are before buying.”

He also recommends you visit a brick-and-mortar store to test how a seat may fit in your car before purchasing, or only buy from an online retailer that will take car

seat returns. “It really is so important to test out a seat before you buy. Don’t exclusively rely on reviews,” says Hoffman.

7. GET SOME HELP

If you feel overwhelmed or confused about purchasing a seat, Hoffman says to consult a professional to advise you—and then have that professional help you properly install the seat to ensure you've selected the best one.

But, he cautions, don’t assume that just because someone is a public safety officer they are the right person to ask.

Oftentimes it’s assumed that firefighters or police officers are the go-tos for this type of expertise, but Hoffman says that’s not always the best option.

“Make sure that whomever is helping you is properly certified,” Hoffman says, recommending that you look for someone with certification

Look more at how a car seat functions in your daily life than at whether or not it comes in fashionable colors or high end fabrics.

from Safe Kids and NITSA. "The details are so important. You really need to work with people who are trained and know exactly what to look for," he says.

You can find a car seat inspection site at mass. gov/service-details/finda-car-seat-inspection-sitenear-you. While many inspections sites are active and taking the necessary COVID-19 precautions, some are still not available to the public for appointments. If you would like virtual assistance, contact Mandi.Summers@ baystatehealth.org.

-Janelle Randazza BAYSTATEPARENT 7

Practice “game trash-talking.”

Herding

Goofballs

Separating games-manship from spite takes tact.

If everyone is capable of buying into the gaming experience and “give each other a hard time in the spirit of fun,” it enhances the experience. It’s the only time in life kids should be allowed to give you an “In your face!” and get a high five back. Proceed with caution with this, however.

Be the lightning rod.

In other words, don’t throw the game all the time.

Letting kids gain confidence is important, but make sure to take it to them and win yourself just as often. This will help mold gracious winners and understanding losers. In turn, will also make the losses easier to stomach and the wins feel that much sweeter.

Dice game? Get a box.

Game Day

BY JOSH FARNSWORTH

A

ttitude is contagious. When it comes to our kids, we are living, breathing models for them to observe and — oftentimes — copy this behavior to learn, adapt, etc.

Side note: they all laughed at me when I told them I was destined to spend part of my life as a model. Achievement unlocked.

Some are good attitudes (holding door open for others), some are lessthan-ideal (yelling at other people) and still others depend on how we understand and channel that attitude (yelling at TV, but the referee just made a really poor call, and now your team has to punt).

One of the attitudes I always knew would fall into that third category would be talking to my kids about competitiveness. It’s in my blood, and they come from

8 JANUARY 2021

my blood, so, well, you get the picture.

Competitiveness can be healthy, exciting and a great teacher and character builder, if channeled properly. If not, sadness, anger and bitterness are sure to follow. Luckily, I have the ultimate platform for teaching this: board and card games.

I. Love. Board and card games.

Few things make me happier than spending a few hours settling in Catan, collecting rent when a visitor stays at my hotel at Marvin Gardens or marching my green army into “Eastern United States” to conquer the Risk world.

With the pandemic still very much keeping us home and this lovely January frigidness keeping us specifically inside our home, board games offer an escape my kids have

begun to embrace. They are already experts at Monopoly Junior, Guess Who, Don’t Break the Ice and UNO - the official game of our household.

My youngest especially is an UNO card shark.

Nothing both flutters and crushes my heart like a four-year-old sweetly informing me that my turn has been skipped, he has uno card left and there is nothing you can do about it, sucker!!

They love these games, which means my goal of turning them into board game aficionados is nearly complete. Step 1 of master plan to get them excited about board games? Complete.

Step 2 is to foster their competitiveness into something helpful.

To do so, I have noticed a few helpful tips and trends that will also keep those last few strands of your sanity unsnapped…

My kids fire dice rolls like a Pedro Martinez fastball across the table, and nothing ends a board game quicker than needing a search party to find the dice. Have them roll into the box. Trust me. Their attention spans require it.

Get 'em.

My kids may greet my arrival at their owned Video Arcade space in Monopoly Junior with a bat looking to shake me down for $3 of sweet cash. Make sure all that fierceness is aimed at you, and not any other siblings. Pay the $3. Take the shot to that pride.

Shake hands.

Everyone does this at the end of each game.

Explain what is in that handshake. That end-ofgame handshake is an agreement that while we were able to fool around with that “game trash talk”, sportsmanship is the most important part of any game. This goes for me, too, even if I was thatclose to climbing that last ladder to victory, but ran into one last shute.

Competitiveness is a tricky tightrope to walk sometimes. That said, the time spent on some of these character-building stages in their lives is worth the hours of reading directions, picking up hundreds of pieces and tears.

My tears.

I told you, I’m competitive.

Life is complicated these days, and filled with stress as we look out of our frosted windows this winter. Life experiences can be few and far between. Board and card games give us parents a chance to teach humility, teamwork and have a level

playing field adults and kids can meet on.

Attitude is moldable.

These kids, after all, are watching yours and amending their attitude into “little yous”. You might as well make them humble, positive little yous, while having fun in the process.

So go ahead and play that skip card against me, Milo.

Let me pay for that next trip to your arcade space, Cooper.

It will be well worth the trip.

And if you guys want to talk me into one more?

Game on.

Josh Farnsworth is a husband, father of goofballs Cooper and Milo, goofball himself, and awardwinning writer and columnist living in Worcester. He can be reached for column ideas at josh.farnsworth@ yahoo.com.

finally

forever

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Join the thousands of followers in more than 180 countries.

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January’s Children:

Meet Aleeanna and Savannah

Hi, our names are Aleeanna and Savannah and we would like to be adopted together!

Aleeanna, who likes to go by Alee, is a 14-year-old girl of Caucasian and Hispanic descent. Alee speaks both Spanish and English and is a funny, sassy and outgoing teenager. She enjoys watching television, being outdoors, and running. Alee also spending time with her sister and friends.

She is an engaging girl and does well in school with support from school staff.

Savannah, 17, is of Caucasian and Hispanic descent. Like her sister, Savannah speaks English and Spanish. She is kind, easygoing, and creative and likes to help out around the home, spend time with her friends, and watch television. In school, Savannah does best with the academic support she receives.

Savannah and Alee are legally freed for adoption. The siblings will thrive with a family that is patient, understanding, and supportive and have the ability to meet them where they are at. Savannah and Alee would do best in a home with older or younger children as long as they are placed together and in separate rooms. They would prefer a family that will help them maintain contact with biological dad.

To learn more about adoption from foster care, call the Massachusetts Adoption Resource Exchange (MARE) at 617-6273 or visit www.mareinc.org.

Can you provide the guidance, love and stability that a child needs? If you’re at least 18 years old, have a stable source of income, and room in your heart, you may be a perfect match to adopt a waiting child. Adoptive parents can be single, married, or partnered; experienced or not; renters or homeowners; LGBTQ singles and couples.

The process to adopt a child from foster care requires training, interviews, and home visits to determine if adoption is right for you, and if so, to help connect you with a child or sibling group that your family will be a good match for.

BAYSTATEPARENT 9

the pandemic can teach our children From resilience and gratitude, to the tough stuff like death and finance, experts say this is an ideal time for the kind of learning that doesn’t happen within the walls of a classroom.

BY JOAN GOODCHILD

W

hen Massachusetts students went back to a variety of learning arrangements this past fall, most were diving back in with significant education loss from the spring, when the pandemic began, and schools closed for many months.

Just how much was lost is still undetermined. The nonprofit testing organization NWEA examined what happens to learning during the summer to assess just how much the spring closure may have impacted student academic achievement.

Their figures estimate that students started this school year having lost about a third of a year in reading and half a year in math. Education research firm CREDO estimates that the average student lost 136 to 232 days of learning in math, depending on their location in the country.

Many experts also believe this year, with its mix of hybrid and remote arrangements, while better than no schooling at all, will also yield less academic progress than in a typical year.

But not all learning happens in the classroom. And with so much more time being spent together, inside the home while we wait for the pandemic to abate, how can families take advantage of this time

10 JANUARY 2021

to teach lessons that are outside of the typical academic subjects?

What can parents focus on teaching our kids through these difficult circumstances?

Child mental health experts say it’s an ideal time to find ways to instill values and lessons.

“Children and adolescents, just like adults, do best when they have purpose, structure, and something to be proud of. So, any activity that helps enhance a sense of mastery – learning a new skill like cooking, baking, or any nonacademic accomplishment that your family values will support resilience in youth,” said Yael Dvir, MD, vice chair and director of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry with UMass Memorial Medical Center and University of Massachusetts Medical School. “‘Teaching’” is not necessarily what is needed – this shouldn’t add stress to your or your children’s lives – but adding joy and a sense of accomplishment can be very helpful.”

In other words, take heart. Not everything kids learn these days needs to be based on a formal curriculum. There are many other kinds of valuable skills and characteristics parents can impart during this time. Consider the following suggestions.

Children and adolescents learn most by the example adults set for them, said Dvir. Take time to discuss with them how you have overcome hardships in the past and how this experience will also be an experience we will learn and grow from someday.

“Talking about how we overcame and are overcoming hardships in the past and currently is a great way to show resiliency,” said Dvir. “Telling family stories that reflect this value – so that we create a family narrative – works best.”

Dr. Neha Chaudhary, child & adolescent psychiatrist in private practice and part-time faculty at Massachusetts General Hospital and Harvard Medical School tells parents that one of the best ways to teach kids about resilience and adaptability during times of stress is by showing, not telling.

“If parents model healthy ways to manage big feelings like anxiety, worry, or stress, chances are these skills will spill over to their kids who are soaking in everything they see, no matter their age.

If parents show they can adapt in the face of stress, their kids will see what it means to be resilient, and hopefully take it to heart."

#2 HANDLING DEATH Conversations about death are never easy, especially if a relative or family friend is impacted.

“It is best to follow your child’s lead if there was an exposure to a loss,” said Dvir. “Allow them to talk about fears they may have, and feelings they may have developed in response to loss, not just of human life, but also of normal life as we know it. You can model how to manage this in a healthy way; make sure not to talk above your child’s developmental level and not to provide more information than what you have been asked to provide.”

Chaudhary recommends breaking the ice around the conversation by normalizing it and noting that death is a topic many people have been thinking about during the pandemic.

“A good rule of thumb is to stay direct and honest as much as you can. If your child asks a question about a tough topic like death that you don't know how to answer or don't want to, it's okay to say you don't know, or to ask them what they think the answer is."

#3 GRATITUDE

The pandemic has been extraordinarily difficult for so many reasons, but amid it all there are still many reasons to be grateful, said Dvir.

“Again, modeling this for your child by talking about what you are grateful for is a great start. It can also become part of a family-time routine, giving a daily example of something you are grateful for, and asking your child to share their own example.”

"Studies show that expressing gratitude can boost your mood and overall sense of happiness and well-being,” said Chaudhary.

“Parents can teach their kids how to express gratitude by doing it as a shared activity alongside them in which they list, say, three things they are grateful for that day. By infusing it into your bedtime routine or doing it at the dinner table, you can even make it a family ritual — something you do regularly because of what it means to you — that improves everyone's mental health and helps the family feel more connected."

#4 FINANCE

This is also an ideal time to teach children about personal finance, said Dr. Arnaa Alcon, Dean of Bridgewater State University’s College of

The pandemic has been difficult, but there are still many reasons to be grateful.

#5 BUDGETING

The recent holiday season and upcoming birthdays and other occasions for gift giving provide a great opportunity to discuss budgeting, including “the comparative cost of special gifts, needs versus wants, and how to balance those, and the importance of saving money and helping others,” said Alcon. “There really are so many fun ways to increase financial literacy.”

Humanities and Social Sciences, who also has an expertise in teaching children financial literacy.

“This is a great time to build the important habit of talking about money and increasing financial literacy. But, actually, there is never a bad time to start learning about money,” she said. “Parents and caregivers of younger children searching for projects and activities can build in those with money themes.

And children may be hearing about financial issues facing so many families — including job loss and financial uncertainty.

Those children may have questions and concerns that can be managed in an enjoyable way while learning about personal financial topics.”

Alcon points to many resources that provide activities for kids of all ages and companion guides for parents who may want to brush up on their own financial knowledge as they teach their children.

The FDIC’s Money Smart, which

can be found at FDIC.gov, offers parents and caregivers guides with activities and conversation starters designed for children in grades Pre-K-2, 3-5, 6-8, and 9-12.

For older kids and young adults, Money Talks has interactive games and multimedia resources designed to give “applied experiences that encourage fiscally sound decision-making in marketplace transactions.” The United States Mint site has games, printable coloring pages and videos, all focused on understanding money and how to use it.

#6 MAKING THE BEST OF DIFFICULT CIRCUMSTANCES

Resilience, gratitude and learning to get by with fewer financial resources are all part of a greater package of takeaways on how to make the best of it during very hard times. This may

be the most valuable lesson of all.

"Families may not get all of this time together at home again,” said Chaudhary. “It's a great idea to lean into one of the silver linings of the pandemic and get to know each other better, teach each other, and practice new lessons learned that books can't teach you. Shared activities can enhance bonding and connection between family members — something much needed with all of the stress around us right now."

Child mental health experts say it’s an ideal time to find ways to instill values and lessons.

BAYSTATEPARENT 11

The burnout is real – especially for moms COPING WITH PANDEMIC PARENTING AND REDEFINING SELF-CARE

BY AMANDA COLLINS BERNIER

F

or most parents, mental exhaustion and burnout are nothing new.

The emotional load of parenting can take a significant toll on our mental health and physical well-being. It can feel they’re constantly putting their needs last.

Often it’s moms, who tend to shoulder much of the parenting and self-imposed

12 JANUARY 2021

expectations, who are plagued by exhaustion, self-doubt, and a general lack of self-love.

There’s an official term for this collapsed state: It’s “mommy burnout,” and it’s widely recognized as a real—and potentially serious—problem. It creates stress, anxiety, and feelings of emptiness.

The burnout is real, and over the last ten months, it’s only gotten worse.

While a recent AP poll suggests that Americans as a whole are the unhappiest they've been in decades, the pandemic has been especially hard-hitting for working parents. And while all parents have been struggling, the crisis has really taken a toll on moms.

Amplified by the COVID-19 pandemic and the upheaval that’s come with it, moms right now are reporting stress and burnout at a

whole new level.

According to Motherly’s 2020 State of the Motherhood survey, 74% of moms are feeling mentally worse since the COVID crisis began, with 63% reporting they are handling childcare and household responsibilities mostly on their own. It could be part of the reason why women, according to the Labor Department, have left the workforce at four times the

rate of men over the course of the pandemic.

How did we get to this tipping point, and how do we find our way out?

We talked to Dr. Brian Skehan, an Assistant Professor of Psychiatry and Pediatrics at the UMass Medical School, and Gina Gardner, the pediatric nurse manager at UMass Memorial Hospital, about parenting through a pandemic.

According to the CDC, two out of five Americans report feelings of depression or anxiety, but parents caring for children report significantly more stress than non-parents.

How have you seen these struggles play out over the last nine months?

DR. SKEHAN: ​Families are struggling to balance financial needs and employment alongside meeting the needs of their children for physical support, emotional support, and school. Many families describe this as having three jobs. The changing demands at home and work are compounded by decreased opportunities to manage distress through typical social connections and activities. Youth also notice the stress that parents are under and have their own unique stressors with decreased physical connectedness to peers and fewer outlets.

GINA GARDNER: I have seen more children admitted with psychiatric issues. Children are feeling the stress from their parents. They have been isolated away from friends and have increased screen time.

Parents are stressed, and that is understandable but need to be aware of what is happening with their kids.

A recent study found a majority of women – who are more likely to be prime caregivers – are feeling “parental burnout.” What is burnout and how is it different from depression or anxiety?

DR. SKEHAN: ​Burnout is defined as physical, mental, and emotional exhaustion that is a product of chronic and

extreme stress. Symptoms can include feeling overwhelmed, irritable, or fatigued. It can also be challenging to feel empathy towards others when experiencing burnout. These symptoms may or may not overlap with symptoms of depression and anxiety which can include disruptions in sleep or appetite, sadness, excessive worry, or panic.

What’s contributing to “burnout” beyond our own homes? Social media, the news, etc… should we be avoiding or limiting these?

DR. SKEHAN: ​Individuals experience stress differently.

While some may find news helpful to stay informed, others may be overwhelmed by the volume of negative news they experience each day. Similarly, social media can help people stay connected with others, especially during a time when we need to stay physically distant during a pandemic.

Like many habits, excessive time spent on social media or news that prevents people from doing normal activities of daily living can be problematic.

If individuals feel like they are unable to limit their engagement in news or social media despite impairment, it would be a good idea to seek help.

Are the expectations on mothers/parents unrealistic during this crisis?

DR. SKEHAN: ​These are certainly extraordinary times and expectations are difficult to meet. It is important to recognize the different types of expectations and where they are coming from. Partners, children, employers, and others will all have expectations from parents. Often, we also bring our own expectations that may be self-imposed. It is easy at

times to confuse aspirations for expectations. During traumatic experiences, children benefit from knowing that they are safe and loved. Addressing physical and emotional needs like food, shelter, and connecting with your children is a good place to start.

What would you say to parents who are worried about the long-term impact of the COVID-19 crisis on their children? Many parents feel like so much is out of their control. What can they control?

GINA GARDNER: There are many parents trying to work from home and be the educator for their kids. Time management is almost impossible for parents who must work.

DR. SKEHAN: There is a lot we don’t know about the long term impact of COVID-19.

Parents can always focus on communicating with their kids to see how they are feeling.

Reaching out to their kids to ask their opinions about ways to maintain family traditions while being safe demonstrates that they value their ideas.

What tips can you offer moms who are suffering from “mom guilt”: not being able to give their kids the kind of mom they want to be right now, not having the answers, not being able to “fix” things?

DR. SKEHAN: C ​ hildren can often sense when their parents are struggling. It is ok to discuss your feelings with children in a developmentally appropriate way. Children learn from seeing how their parents respond to situations and being honest with them about not having all of the answers is ok. Modeling healthy ways of coping with distress can promote resiliency in children.

Talking with your kids about your feelings also lets them know it is ok for them to talk to you about similar worries, fears, or sadness.

There’s been a lot of talk of raising our kids to be resilient. But when many parents are so depleted, how can we teach our kids to roll with the punches?

GINA GARDNER: I am not sure rolling with the punches is the right expression. We must have conversations as a family. Kids need to know that they are not alone and that their feelings matter. They need to feel included as part of a family.

GINA GARDNER: They can control how their families stand together to overcome this. They can help the kids feel heard and loved. In some ways this is an opportunity to have dinner together and talk.

In what ways is the way we parents handle this time impacting how children view the world?

DR. SKEHAN: Children reflect behaviors that they see in their parents and peers. Children cannot be expected to do better than their parents and modeling healthy coping strategies for difficult emotions can be helpful for both parents and youth.

This can also include getting professional help if you are feeling overwhelmed and talking to your kids about seeking help in a developmentally appropriate way.

GINA GARDNER: Children are watching how we are reacting.

It is OK to seek medical help if you are overwhelmed and not coping. It is also OK to ask for help with your children. We can’t worry about what the neighbors are thinking. We are not failures because we seek out psychiatric help for ourselves or for our children.

BAYSTATEPARENT 13

We don’t have to do this alone.

What do we need to keep in mind about our kids right now?

DR. SKEHAN: It is important to recognize that technology allows kids (and grownups) to stay connected with others

during times when we must be physically distant. While parents may go to work still and leave the home on occasion, it is important to remember that some kids may not leave the home at all, even for school, and finding safe ways for them to stay connected with peers, even through devices, is important for their emotional well being.

GINA GARDNER: Children are struggling, and parents need to find a way to acknowledge what the children are going through.

There has been a rapid increase with the number of suicide attempts and eating disorders among our pediatric population.

Parents need to stay involved with what is happening with their family.

COVID-19 Coping: Redefining “self-care” in a pandemic As mental health concerns rise as we continue to endure the effects of this pandemic, we must find ways to make self-care a priority. Just like the proverbial oxygen mask on a plane, if you are not well, you can’t take care of others.

Even when we’re not in the throes of a worldwide pandemic, self-care often slips to the bottom of the list for parents. Moms especially, who are more likely to shoulder parenting, household and other duties, can find it difficult to take time for themselves.

But self-care is not a selfish concept; it’s a necessary one. Taking

14 JANUARY 2021

care of yourself isn’t a luxury. It’s essential. And during this difficult time, enduring months of added stress, it’s more important than ever.

Leigh-Ann Larson, a mental health counselor and founder and CEO of Elevate Counseling Services in South Easton, Bellingham and Middleboro, has ideas to help parents avoid burnout and redefine selfcare.

Her recommendations are threefold. You can get through the next months, she said, by taking it one day at a time, by living with authenticity, and with an eye toward creativity and connectedness to others.

Living ‘one day at time’ may sound like a cliche, but Larson said the concept is worth a serious second look during these times.

“Science has shown us that when we stay in

the moment and engage in ‘here and now activities,’ including meditation, yoga, tai chi, and prayer, for example, our brains begin to relax. The chemical response is to calm down our arousal center and experience decreased release of cortisol and adrenaline, two of the hormones that are at the root of stress,” she said. “So why not try a meditation phone app, roll out the yoga mat, and with those wonderful family members of yours, and build five or ten minutes into your day to regroup, reconnect and recharge, one day a time.”

Larson also touts “honesty is the best policy” as a form of caring for ourselves right now.

“We can be authentic and not ‘stuff’ emotions that eventually catch up with us and cause inflammation and illness or injury in our bodies, not to mention damaging our relationships with the ensuing arguments when we stuff emotions instead of communicating,” she said. “If you are stressed, worried, tired,

Parents do need to fill their own cups; however, their children are looking to them for guidance and limits. Please ask the questions, have the conversations, and be aware of warning signs from your children.

Self-care is not a selfish concept; it’s a necessary one.

or simply need some fresh air, let your family know. Your children will benefit from seeing their caregiver take time out to take care of themselves.

An added bonus will be the learning that comes from our front line teachers: parents at home, modeling the value of self care and communicating needs. Your doing this will also show them how to connect their emotions to their behaviors and identify and share their own needs in relationship to others.”

Finally, she said we should find outlets, where we can, for creativity.

“Positive Psychology talks about resiliency and flow state activities. Where do we find flow? We find it when we are moving, making music, creating art, writing creatively or working on that ‘passion project.’ We also find it when we are creative with the little things in life that we need to do: setting up a fun “in-home school space” for the kids, putting

music on and having a dance break at lunch time, or finding new recipes and ideas for cooking. Finding new ways to do the “same old, same old” can help pass the time and you may discover new traditions that will last even when COVID is over.”

Build five or ten minutes into your day to recharge, one day at a time.

very

#2. 7 Cups

special people

8 cool apps to help teens manage anxiety

BY JANELLE RANDAZZA

W

e are living in anxietyinducing times. With a pandemic and social isolation, even the most laid-back of us are probably finding ourselves wanting to breathe deep into a paper bag. Throw all the added stressors of being a teenager to the mix—but take out their normal coping mechanisms like hanging out with friends and engaging in extracurricular activities—and your teen may be looking for support.

If you have a teen that is showing signs of stress and a need for coping skills, there are plenty of mindfulness and therapy apps that can help give them a boost to get through tough times—whether it be an important exam, anxiety over COVID-19, or a panic attack that has spiraled out of control.

While no app will ever replace the expertise and guidance of a mental health professional, here are some highly rated apps thoroughly tested and evaluated by our partners at Reviewed.com based on usability, accessibility, and appropriateness for teens. These apps can help teens develop and sustain coping habits for any time anxiety rears its ugly head, and they can help give a supportive boost to tackle stress with skills that will last them a lifetime.

#1 MindShift

Best for ages: 12 and older Cost: Free with no in-app purchases This mental health app is specifically designed for teens and young adults that struggle with anxious thoughts. It helps hone in on the anxiety the user is feeling and gives them tools to manage that anxiety, such as healthy thinking, finding their “chill zone,” and giving positive action items.

One of the things that makes anxiety so pervasive is the lack of control that occurs when it creeps in. We like that this app focuses on empowerment: It helps to decode anxiety through their “learn” options and also helps the user set specific, realistic goals. One reviewer called this a “cheerleader in your pocket;” we love that definition as it encourages the user to take charge and helps to take the fear out of riding out intense emotions.

Best for ages: 13 to 17 (with an adult option for older teens) Cost: Offers plenty of free content including message boards and an active listener. To connect with a licensed therapist, it costs $12.99 a month, $94.99 a year, or $399.99 for a lifetime of premium access.

Anxiety can feel lonely, isolating, and unsettling. If your child feels like they are “weird” or that no one can relate to what they are going through, this app provides an anonymous way to find support and access coping tools. What sets 7 Cups apart is that it’s community and connectionbased at its core, while stopping short of being actual therapy (at least in the free version).

It’s also completely anonymous, which can feel freeing for a teen struggling with how to define, accept, and talk about what they are feeling.

The app offers community groups

where users can ask questions, get support from peers, and make friends who can relate to what they are going through.

For users who want a more focused experience, they can also sign up for a 1:1 chat with a dedicated, volunteer "active listener." A paid service will connect users with a trained therapist; the free service, on the other hand, connects users with a trained volunteer who can offer “compassion but not advice.” The service clearly states that the active listener is not meant to be a therapist, but more of an empathetic and anonymous ear meant as a safe haven of support. The app does provide the “active listeners” with a training program on sensitive subjects so they are empathetic to typical teen struggles and know when to advise more in-depth help.

#3 BoosterBuddy

Best for ages: 12 and older Cost: Free with no in-app purchases Anxiety can make you feel like you are spiraling out of control. BoosterBuddy gives reminders described as “daily quests” to help users build positive mental health habits. This app was created to suggest coping skills for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, disordered eating habits, and self harm. While that may not be what your child is specifically working on, anxiety frequently turns into obsessive thoughts as a way for the sufferer to manage through their stressors.

This app can help them get on a more healthy and empowered track.

This is about approaching the beast in small, manageable increments and teaching self care through prompts and exercises, and it also offers a coping library to help users through particularly rough patches.

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BAYSTATEPARENT 15

8 cool apps to help teens manage anxiety

4. Simple Habit

Best for ages: 12 and older Cost: The app is free to download, and offers plenty of free content. Access to additional premium-level meditations costs $11.99 a month, $99.99 a year, or $299.99 for a lifetime.

Made for the teen that’s feeling stressed but either can’t devote time to self care or doesn’t know how to. The developers took note that one of the biggest obstacles for teens is that they feel overwhelmed at the prospect of meditation, that they don’t know how to meditate, or they feel like they don’t have the time to fit mindfulness practices into their lives. This app takes all of those hurdles into consideration and creates tailored programs, where a little bit of mindfulness goes a long way.

Simple Habit helps hone in on particular needs and creates a tailor-made plan for the user.

Super-specific meditations focus on common stressors, including very timely ones like easing coronavirus anxiety, how to wash your hands mindfully, and how to turn fear into calm. The meditations are short and sweet and non-judgmental.

Some other apps come with a feeling of where you need to be in your mindfulness practice, while this one really meets the user where they’re at.

#5 Rootd

Best for ages: 12 and older Cost: The app is free to download, and offers plenty of free content. Full access subscriptions cost $6.99 a month, $59.99 a year, or $139.99 for a lifetime.

Rootd is like having a panic 16 JANUARY 2021

button in your pocket—literally.

This app’s main feature is a big, red panic button that users hit when they feel a panic attack flood in.

Depending on different levels of panic, Rootd takes users through Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) techniques to help retrain the mind into positive behavioral strategies for coping. While it can take a few tries to feel empowered, Rootd talks users through a guided approach to regaining control when anxiety strikes.

This app also offers a deepbreathing tool, an anxiety journal, guided visualizations and body scans, a stats page, and empowering lessons. Taking a “knowledge is power approach” to wellness, the app also provides reading material to demystify panic and anxiety. The app also calls out major stressors for girls, including social media anxiety and anxiety that might be associated with PMS.

#6 Acupressure: Heal Yourself

Best for ages: 12 and older Cost: This app costs $1.99 for all content. There aren't any additional in-app purchases.

Sometimes breathing and visualizing aren't enough.

Acupressure is a natural healing strategy where you target specific areas of the body in order to alleviate pain or stress by increasing blood flow. We like that this app focuses more on the physicality of calm than the mental aspect.

When you’re experiencing stress sometimes analyzing thought patters can make you feel even more anxious and sometimes—like when you're sitting at a desk in a classroom

of other students—mindfulness breathing might not be practical. This app guides users on what pressure points to use in order to help pull focus away from emotions—which, in turn, can help teens find a new way to recenter, relax, and concentrate.

This isn’t the most visually appealing app, but the idea behind it and the execution are great.

#7 Moodtrack

Best for ages: 12 and older Cost: Free to download and use, however there is a one-time fee of 99 cents for full anonymity.

Whether your kid suffers from clinical anxiety or they are just dealing with the typical mood swings of a suffering teenager, Moodtrack is an awesome app to help them track their moods. This app works essentially like a bullet journal for mood swings where users can enter, rate, and comment on their feelings to refer back to.

Moodtrack helps identify moods and track them in colorful graphs over days, weeks, months or years, giving insight into emotions and feelings as well as the triggers of anxiety and stress. This is a great tool because it helps users identify tendencies early on, like stress before midterms, moodiness before a menstrual cycle, and feelings of melancholy before the holidays. By being able to track tendencies, users can work to break negative cycles and habits.

The free version of this has a bit of a social network component where other users can search and follow by username. This can be helpful when trying to build a community and when, for example, a therapist or a parent wants to keep track of a teen’s moods. We can, however, easily see where this might go south— particularly when a community mostly consists of other teens. For a nominal, one-time fee of 99 cents, a user can track their moods with full

cont.

privacy; for less than a dollar we recommend springing for the extra privacy.

#8 Smiling Mind

Best for ages: 7 to 18 Cost: Totally free with no in-app purchases.

Smiling Mind is a mindfulness and meditation app, but it also acts as a self-care toolkit. When you first sign in, Smiling Mind asks for users to register with an age preference.

Each age group is given a set of guided meditations designed to bring users from a beginning level to a “mindful master” level over time.

A lot of mindfulness apps that profess to work for “all ages” leave teens out of the equation, only allowing them to choose if they fit into categories intended for either young children or adults—giving them content that is either too childish or unrelatable, without really addressing the unique stressors teens experience.

Smiling Mind not only recognizes the needs of teens, it breaks teens into an older and younger categories, recognizing that adolescents just entering middle or high school are experiencing different anxieties than those applying for college or jobs. The teen self-care content on this app really pays attention to what adolescents are thinking and feeling, what they want to hear, and how they need to hear it.

For teens, this app gives focus on better understanding stress and how to care for yourself, not only with guided meditations and body scans, but with short and relatable videos that somehow manage to strike the perfect balance of positive and fun yet also cool, informative, and direct.

There’s an entire section of the self-care toolkit that consists of short videos that dive into common stressors and help to not only validate the feelings of teens but also identify counterproductive tendencies with upbeat hosts and funky graphics.

We really like this one as an intro to self-care overall and recommend it in tandem with any other apps you might try.

diy

Winter DIY Easy activities for kids

Reprinted with permission from The Highlights Book of Things to Do, a deluxe activity book with more than 500 techfree ideas for building, playing, experimenting, crafting, cooking, dreaming, and thinking. highlights.com, $24.99.

BAYSTATEPARENT 17

nutrition The calcium, protein and vitamin D in a glass of milk are important nutrients that kids need, but what if they just won’t drink it? That’s where chocolate or strawberry milk comes in … right?

While regular white milk is usually considered to be a healthy drink, adding chocolate flavoring usually adds extra sugar and calories.

So, chocolate milk: to drink or not to drink?

Here’s the deal:

What’s the deal with chocolate milk?

The sugar listed on the Nutrition Facts panel of milk is the total sugar, which includes the naturally occurring sugar (lactose) in milk as well as added sugar.

The amount of added sugar in chocolate milk can vary depending on the brand of chocolate milk, so you may see 8 to 12 grams (and sometimes more) of added sugar.

1 = 4 = 15 level grams teaspoon of of sugar sugar

calories

If chocolate milk has 12 grams of added sugar, that’s 45 additional calories from sugar.

If you compare milk with sweetened soda (in which all of the calories are from added sugar), a flavored milk is definitely a better choice.

18 JANUARY 2021

While milk, including flavored milk, is a nutrient dense beverage that contains protein, potassium, calcium and vitamin D, health experts have a concern about children developing a taste for sweetened beverages if this is all that is offered. For children over the age of 5, the American Academy of Pediatrics and other health organizations recommend plain milk (or soy beverage), water or limited amounts of 100 percent fruit juices.

While previous AAP recommendations for school-age children have allowed for flavored milk as a strategy to help encourage milk intake, they say flavored milk is best avoided in children younger than 5. Young children generally are willing to drink recommended amounts of plain milk if not given an alternative, and avoiding flavored milk helps minimize added sugar intake and prevent establishing a preference for sweet taste.

The verdict The American Academy of Pediatrics says chocolate milk should be seen as a treat and not a staple beverage. If you are able to make your own chocolate milk at home with powder or syrup or by mixing plain milk with flavored milk, you can control and reduce the amount of added sugar.

Bites

goose’s

goodies

Homemade Alphabet Vegetable Soup It’s National Soup Month! Nothing says comfort on a chilly winter day like a hot bowl of soup. This recipe is very versatile; just throw in any of your favorite veggies. The alphabet pasta makes it extra fun for kids, but any small pasta will work.

Ingredients 1 Tbsp. olive oil 1 medium onion, chopped 2 cloves garlic, minced 3 carrots diced 2 ribs celery, chopped 4 cups reduced sodium chicken broth 1 (28 oz) can crushed tomatoes 1 tsp. Italian seasoning 2 small potatoes, peeled and diced 1 (15 oz) can kidney beans, drained and rinsed 1 cup cut up green beans 1 cup frozen peas, thawed 1 1/2 cups cooked alphabet pasta, or other small pasta Fresh Parmesan (optional)

Directions In a large stockpot, heat oil over medium heat. Add onion, carrots, and celery.

Cook, stirring occasionally, about 5 minutes until onions are translucent. Add garlic and cook one to two minutes more.

Add chicken broth, crushed tomatoes, and Italian seasoning, stir to combine .

Bring to boiling.

Add diced potatoes, green beans, peas and kidney beans. Reduce heat to

Laurie Silva Collins, known affectionately as Goose by her grandkids, is a nurse, mother and grandmother who is happiest when she’s in the kitchen, cooking and baking for those she loves. She learned to cook from her parents, and has perfected her recipes over the years while raising three daughters… and spoiling seven grandchildren.

medium low, cover and cook 20 minutes or until potatoes are tender, stirring occasionally.

Cook small pasta according to package directions, drain and rinse. Add drained pasta to soup when soup has finished cooking.

Season with salt and pepper if needed. Serve with a sprinkle of fresh Parmesan.

Throw in veggies and sprinkle this nutritious soup with cheese for an easy pleaser!

BAYSTATEPARENT 19

indoor winter activities for kids It’s that time of year when kids can begin to go stir crazy being stuck indoors because of the cold weather. Add in the surging cases of the coronavirus around the country and there’s bound to be even more time your kids will be fighting boredom. Here are a few indoor activities for kids that can help you get through the winter:

Build a cardboard play house Pick a large refrigerator box from a builder, furniture store or a wholesale distribution warehouse.

Sumo wrestle Clear out a space in the living room and line the corners with pillows. Let your children borrow an old t-shirt of yours, stuff it with pillows in the front and back, and let them wrestle each other.

Make a marshmallow structure Use dried spaghetti and mini marshmallows to build anything.

Marble race track Cut a pool noodle in half lengthwise using a serrated knife to make two racetracks. Then set them up side-by-side on your stairs or propped up against the couch.

Indoor scavenger hunt Hide clues around the house for a hunt that will keep them busy solving riddles and working as a team. Leave a “treasure chest” at the end with a few treats for an extra special surprise.

20 JANUARY 2021

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BAYSTATEPARENT 21

on the

agenda

W

the list

ith no lessons needed, and no equipment to lug, snow tubing is the perfect laid back alternative to skiing or boarding. This fast-paced fun appeals to kids of all ages and abilities, and is cheaper than a day on the slopes. From the Berkshires to the Boston suburbs, here are six places to go tubing in the Bay State this winter. Before you go, be sure to check the website for any updates and their specific COVID policies.

6

spots for snow tubing in the Bay State

Nashoba Valley Ski Area - Littleton

Tickets: $35 skinashoba.com The largest tubing park in New England offers 18 lanes, serviced by four lifts and maintained by Nashoba’s experienced grooming fleet. The tubing park is open seven days and nights a week, and features an on-site lodge with a snack bar and full bar. Tubers must be 42 inches in height or 6 years old to participate. Twohour tickets must be purchased in advance and online this season, and are limited daily.

Ski Ward Ski Area - Shrewsbury

Tickets: Weekdays $15-$20; weekends and holidays $30 skiward.com Just minutes from Worcester and less than an hour from Boston, Ski Ward’s TubaSlide offers 10 lanes and two lifts. All tubers must be at least 6 years old and 42 inches tall. Tickets are sold as 2-hour passes.

Tubing is a lot cheaper than a day on the slopes, and you don't need lessons!

Amesbury Sports Park - Amesbury

Tickets: Three-hour pass $24; five-hour $32 amesburysportspark.net Featuring 6 to 10 tubing lanes, depending on conditions, serviced by a conveyor belt lift that guests stand on and ride to the top. Night tubing under lights is offered all season. Children must be at least 4 years old to tube. Tubing park is open Thursday and Friday evenings, and weekends, with extended hours on holidays and school vacation weeks.

Bousquet Mountain - Pittsfield

Tickets: $13-$22 bousquetmountain.com This resort has four tubing lanes of fun with a Carpet Lift to easily get back up to the top of the hill. Tubers must be at least 42 inches tall to participate. Tickets are for specific two-hour time blocks. Reservations are required, and capacity is limited.

Butternut Ski Area - Great Barrington

Tickets: Friday nights $20; weekends and holidays $25 skibutternut.com Tubing on this 11-lane hill at the ski resort is open weekends and holidays. A Magic Carpet Lift makes getting back to the top of the tubing hill easy, and 100 percent snow-making coverage ensures there is snow, even when you may not have it in your backyard.

Reservations are required this season, and tickets are sold for specific 2-hour time slots. Tickets are limited daily ­— be sure to plan ahead and purchase in advance.

Berkshire East - Charlemont

Tickets: $20 berkshireeast.com Enjoy three, 500-foot tubing lanes, a fast tube, and a Magic Carpet to carry you back up for another lap. The tubing park is open winter weekends and holidays, and tickets are for 2-hour time blocks. Riders must be at least 42 inches tall, and only one person is allowed per tube.

22 JANUARY JANUARY 2021 2021 22

on the

agenda

Family Nature Exploration Programs

JANUARY ADVENTURES Yeti, Set, Go! is throughout January

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family fun events this month

they will not be missed. On Jan. 8, kids 3-10 can take part in a Yeti Hunt at dusk, and get a behind the scenes tour of the exhibit while learning about camouflage, Yeti adaptations and lore, and a guided magical hunt (pre-registration required). towerhillbg.org.

Festival of Lights

New Year’s Day Family Fun Hike

Jan. 1, 10-11 a.m.

Oak Knoll Wildlife Sanctuary, Attleboro Member adult $10, children $10; nonmember $12 Ring in the New Year with an outdoor family exploration.

Begin 2021 with your best foot forward on this guided New Year's Day hike at Oak Knoll. Explore the trails to see what animals have visited, and connect with nature and one another. Pre-registration required. massaudubon.org.

Yeti, Set, Go!

Tower Hill Botanic Garden, West Boylston Included with admission - adult $16, youth $6, children 5 and under and members free This fun-filled winter scavenger hunt and adventure is included with admission to Tower Hill Botanic Garden throughout the month of January. Explore the gardens and meet all fifteen of the colorful, furry, friends. Typically covered with white shaggy fur, these yetis have changed things up, boasting bright colors so

Daily through Feb. 28 Downtown and Main South neighborhoods, Worcester. Free Light sculptures and installations are on view in Worcester’s Downtown and Main South neighborhoods and illuminated after sundown each evening. Main South

installations feature light sculptures by local artists at key nodes and participating businesses. Downtown lighting elements include a crescendo of multicolored snowflakes on Mercantile Center, snowflakes in windows, and a backlit mural on the windows of 554 Main St. On the Worcester Common, Tower Hill Botanic Garden has created an illuminated rainbow tunnel more than 200 feet long, which celebrates Worcester’s inclusivity and will illuminate the Common in conjunction with 3D geometric light sculptures.

Festival of Lights

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on the

everyday objects in our world.

Explore using your hands, tools and machines to cut, mold, deform and assemble.

Discover how familiar the story of manufacturing is to all of us. springfieldmuseums.org.

agenda

Family Nature Exploration Programs

Belmont World Film's Family Festival

Preschool Story Hour: Ice is Nice

Jan. 13, 14 & 16, 10-11 a.m.

Broad Meadow Brook, Worcester Member child $3, nonmember $4 Children between the ages of 3 and 5 will enjoy this thematic hour of a story, an activity, and a naturalistled walk. Dress for the weather and be prepared to be outdoors as much as possible for this program.

Pre-registration required. massaudubon.org.

Jan. 15-24 Virtual See some of the world’s most remarkable current films for children ages 2-12 and take part in several workshops, all from the safety of home, at the Belmont World Film’s 18th Annual Family Festival, “Where Stories Come Alive.” The festival includes 13 feature length and short film programs with nearly 40 animated, live action, and documentary films—many based on children’s books and several making their US premieres—in English and other languages with subtitles.

Kids can also learn about clay animation by building either Gromit or Shaun the Sheep (from

the Wallace & Gromit films) with Aardman's Senior Animator, Jim Parkyn and learn how to be a film critic courtesy of the Boston Society of Film Critics. belmontworldfilm.org.

How People Make Things

Tuesdays through Sundays, from Jan. 16 Springfield Museums, Springfield Free with admission - adults $25, children $13, kids under 3 free Inspired by the Mister Rogers’ Factory Tours this new exhibit at the Springfield Museums tells the story of how things are made, celebrating the people, manufacturing processes and the technology used to make

Sunday, Jan. 31 Drumlin Farm, Lincoln Broadmoor Wildlife Sanctuary, Natick Habitat Education Center & Wildlife Sanctuary, Belmont Member family of five $130; nonmember family $150 Take a personalized, private, two-hour guided tour into the wonders of nature with your family. Mass Audubon is offering Family Nature Exploration programs led by an Audubon Springfield Museums

naturalist at three of their sanctuaries this month.

You’ll be guided through hands-on investigations of plants and animals and observe interactions and energy flow in the ecosystem. Programs can be customized to your group's interests and optional activities for children based on age and interest can be provided.

At the Habitat Wildlife Sanctuary in Belmont, choose from programs focusing on everything from meadows or ponds to reptiles or fairy houses.

At Drumlin Farm Wildlife Sanctuary in Lincoln, you can pitch in with morning or afternoon chores like caring for and feeding farm animals and collecting eggs, or take a seasonal hike through the woods, search for animal tracks, and investigate their New England winter survival strategies.

At Broadmoor Wildlife Sanctuary in Natick pick from programs investigating animals in the winter, using your senses in each season to explore nature, or searching the woods animal tracks and identifying trees and fauna. Contact each sanctuary for schedules. massaudubon.org.

A GOOD PARTY IS ALWAYS IN SEASON!

Reach more than 80,000 readers each month with baystateparent’s Party Page!

Contact Kathy Puffer to book your Party Page ad today!

Call 508-737-5653 or email kpuffer@localiq.com

24 JANUARY 2021

Try these five easy resolutions to help improve your relationship with your teen!

My New Year’s resolutions for parenting teens

BY CHERYL MAGUIRE

I’m not a big fan of New Year’s Resolutions, but I thought I would embrace change this year. As I reflect back on last year my first thought is, “I survived being a mom to twin teens!” Their fourteenth birthday is in February so this time of year also marks my accomplishment, and yes I view that as an accomplishment. If I’m honest with myself, I can also admit there is definitely room for some improvement. Since I know that I can only control my behavior, I plan to focus on what I can do differently as a parent. So here’s my list in no particular order (even though I numbered it—I just like numbered lists).

I will encourage my twin teens to be more independent.

During their morning routine, I will remain silent without saying, “Hurry up or you will miss the bus!” I will also give them a list of things they are responsible for such as putting away their laundry, cleaning the dishes and packing their lunches.

I will allow them to fail.

This is a tough one for me since I often feel this may somehow be a reflection on me being a bad parent. I also struggle with being a perfectionist. But I realize sometimes “failing” is the only way you learn and grow as a person.

So when they ask me to bring to school their forgotten homework or other items my answer will be a hard “no.”

I will continue to attempt to communicate with them.

This year whenever I tried to ask my teens questions I heard a lot of one word generic responses. When I ask, “How was school today?” often their response is a one word “good” without any other details. After hearing “good” or “nothing” a hundred times, I was tempted to give up trying.

But I have been told, by more than one person, I’m tenacious so I tried other methods. I found by asking unusual questions or instead of asking questions I offered information about myself that sometimes I was able to engage in what some may consider a conversation. So I’m going to keep trying because when it works, it’s worth the effort.

I will nag less and observe more.

I never enjoy nagging, and it rarely yields the results I want. After reading articles and interviewing experts, I learned that making observational comments or questions is much more effective. My favorite one which even sometimes elicits a chuckle is, “Are you working hard or hardly working?”

I will let them know when they are doing a good job.

It’s easy to notice all the things a teen is doing wrong such as leaving their towel on the floor, staying up too late at night, or eating junk food. It’s harder to point out what they are doing right such as how they did their homework, helped their sibling, or cleaned their room. I plan to notice at least once a day what they are doing right and let them know how proud I am of them. Because they are doing a lot of things right and I am really proud of them.

One of the reasons I don’t like New Year’s Resolutions is because often by March people are back to their old ways, their New Year’s Resolutions quickly forgotten.

That is why I’m writing it down, so I can reflect on this list and remind myself these goals will help us have a better relationship and hopefully help my teens grow up to be successful adults. And I think that is worth trying something new to achieve it.

Cheryl Maguire holds a Master of Counseling Psychology degree. She is married and is the mother of twins and a daughter. You can find her at Twitter @CherylMaguire05 BAYSTATEPARENT 25

Emergency care isn’t one-size-fits-all.

At UMass Memorial Children’s Medical Center, we know kids. We know they have unique physical and mental health needs separate from adults. We know that one-size-fits-all is not how health care works, especially in an emergency situation. That’s why our Children’s Emergency Room is specifically designed with your child in mind. As the only Level 1 ER in the region, we offer a dedicated kid-focused setting with an emergency staff, trained in pediatric care, available 24/7. From major medical emergencies to life’s little mishaps, the right fit can make all the difference to minimize stress for your entire family. At UMass Memorial, you’ll find the right fit and the right care — right around the corner.

To learn more, visit umassmemorial.org/PediER. UMass Memorial Children’s Medical Center — University Campus 55 Lake Avenue North, Worcester, MA 01655

26 JANUARY 2021

Take Eight

Malcolm Mitchell

Malcolm Mitchell’s last football game was the 2017 Super Bowl, when, in his rookie season, he helped the New England Patriots’ epic comeback over the Falcons to win Super Bowl LI. Then, injury after injury sidelined his football career, but his story doesn’t end there. Mitchell is also a poet, an author, and the founder of an initiative called Read with Malcolm, which introduces book ownership to students, and works to improve literacy in schools. We caught up with the former wide receiver, who just released his second children’s book, “My Very Favorite Book In The Whole Wide World.”

Mitchell just released his second children’s book, “My Very Favorite Book In The Whole Wide World.”

Tell us about your passion for literacy. It started when you realized you weren’t a strong reader yourself and wanted to work on this area of your life?

In 2016 you published “The Magician’s Hat,” and you just released your second children’s book, “My Very Favorite Book In The Whole Wide World.” Where do you come up with the ideas for your books?

I realized I was not a strong reader as a student at the University of Georgia. One of my peers was asked to read aloud during our English 1102 course. Her reading reminded me of poetry, music and grace. I knew my reading abilities were inferior. That realization combined with struggles to read labels at the grocery stores and subtitles during movies was enough for me to commit to making a change.

My books are a mix of my personal experiences and a place I like to call electric playground land, a fictional place my mind travels to find ideas.

How did you overcome your struggles with reading?

I am currently reading “The Midnight Library,” “Half Broken Horse,” and “Forged by Reading.”

I started with what I believed to be the fundamentals, practicing reading as much as I practice football. I always had a book on me and read every free moment I could find. I started the process with picture books, jotting down sentence structure and vocabulary words along the way.

How did you come to start your youth literacy initiative?

Share the Magic Foundation and its Read with Malcolm Literacy Initiatives was created once I realized there are millions of kids around the world who struggle with reading just as I did, and who did not understand the benefits of being literate, just as I did not. I wanted to help kids discover and embrace this joy and asset that I found. I started by giving away books and promoting a literate lifestyle.

What’s your favorite children’s book?

“Oh, The Places You’ll Go,” by Dr. Seuss.

What are you currently reading?

What do you hope to accomplish through Read with Malcolm and as a literacy advocate?

There are 11.8 million kids in our country living in poverty without a single age-appropriate book. I can testify to this because I was one of those kids. Not because I didn’t have a loving mother and grandmother, but those were the cards we were dealt. Not having a book is a crime, and we can rectify this issue by aiming to get a book into the hands of every child that can’t afford one.

What kind of advice would you give to a kid who has some of the same struggles that you’ve had?

I understand some words are too big, some sentences are too long and some books are too thick. Keep trying and it will get easier, keep reading so you have the best chance at being the best you.

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To our generous sponsors and donors,

THANK YOU!

With your support, our virtual Winter Ball raised more than $900,000!

Your donations will help us to advance the health and wellbeing of the people of Central Massachusetts and beyond!

Together, we are making a difference.

UMass Memorial President & CEO Dr. Eric Dickson welcomes guests virtually at the 12th Annual Winter Ball

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Crothall Healthcare Dr. Eric Dickson & Dr. Catherine Jones Shields Health Care Group Shields Health Solutions

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BR+A Consulting Engineers CAREtenders VNA Cisco Coghlin Electrical Contractors, Inc. Concierge Physical Therapy EY First Bristol Corporation The Hanover Insurance Group Foundation Dr. Demetrius Litwin & Mrs. Anna Marie Litwin Mirick O’Connell Attorneys at Law Percy’s TV and Appliance Revelation Productions, Inc. The S/L/A/M Collaborative Vizient

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28 JANUARY 2021

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