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February 02, 2009
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From our heart to yours, Tidbits wants you to have a very Happy Valentine’s Day! • Richard Cadbury devised the first heartshaped candy boxes in Birmingham, England, in 1861. The covers for the original boxes were decorated with a painting of Cadbury’s daughter holding a kitten. • Just how long have those tiny Valentine’s Day slogan candies – known as conversation hearts – been around? When they were invented back in 1860, Abraham Lincoln had just been elected president, the telephone had not yet been invented, and millions of bison still roamed the Great Plains! • The back yard of Jayne Mansfield’s famous ‘Pink Palace’ was the home of Hollywood’s first heart-shaped swimming pool. It was custom built by Mickey Hargitay, her husband at the time. As a finishing touch, he spelled out “I Love You Jaynie” in gold mosaic tiles at the bottom of the deep end. • In 1973, Milton Glaser designed the popular “I ♥” symbol that stands for “I Love (something).” He came up with the idea as part of a campaign to promote New York tourism, and his “I ♥ NY” logo was an immediate hit. • William Shakespeare was the first to use the expression “cold-hearted” to describe someone who is unkind and insensitive. In Shakespeare’s 1606 play Antony and Cleopatra, Marc Antony accuses Cleopatra of betrayal by claiming that her feelings for him were “cold-hearted.” Cleo responds by declaring if she had been unfaithful, poison hail from heaven should rain down upon her head. (“May lightning strike me” wasn’t quite dramatic enough in those days, apparently.) turn the page for more!
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Page 2 FROM THE HEART (continued)
in 1189, but he only spent six months of his reign in England; the rest of the time he spent fighting alongside his troops both in the Holy Land and in France.
February 02, 2009
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• Piano teachers report that “Heart and Soul” is the second-most popular tune played by people who don’t really know • Playtex introduced its famous “Cross Your how to play the Heart” brassiere in 1965, but reclusive piano. (Number billionaire Howard Hughes designed a one on the list, similar undergarment more than 20 years as you might exprior. While directing the 1941 film The If you have “stuff” and need cash - we can pect, is “ChopOutlaw, Hughes put his aeronautical enhelp you. Bring your stuff in today! sticks.”) Hoagy gineering skills to work to design a seamCarmichael and less, underwire bra for actress Jane RusFrank Loesser sell to wear underneath her tight-fitting wrote “Heart and costumes. Soul” in 1938, Visit us Today! • One of the plot lines in the 1997 film when songs 9745 E Colfax blockbuster Titanic focused on an expencharted based Aurora 80010 www.PawnColorado.com sive necklace that was designed around a on the sales of (303) 364-1165 fabulous diamond called “the Heart of the sheet music, not Ocean.” This part of the story was fictionrecords. Because But the last straw fell in 1987 when Boal; there was no such jewelry item aboard the tune’s four chords were so easy to pick net co-starred in the controversial film the real RMS Titanic. But thanks to the out, the sheet music wasn’t a big seller. Angel Heart. Most of her scenes had to immense popularity of the motion picture, • In the early 1950s, the Chamber of Combe severely edited for the movie to avoid London’s elite jeweler Garrard & Compamerce of the State of Alabama met to disan X rating. Being a brat on the set was ny created a replica of the film’s necklace cuss a new state motto. The existing nickone thing, but wearing your “birthday suit” using a 170-carat sapphire surrounded name (the Cotton State) was also used on the big screen was unforgivable for a by 65 diamonds. Celine Dion wore the by a few other states. “Heart of Dixie” Huxtable kid. Bonet’s character was spun necklace to the 1998 Academy Awards, was ultimately adopted because the state off into A Different World. where she sang “My Heart Will Go On,” is considered – both geographically and the theme from the Titanic movie. • “I Left My Heart in San Francisco” was industrially – the heart of the South. The written in 1954 for opera singer Claramae slogan was added to the state’s license • Why did Dick Tracy decide to become a Turner. Although she performed the song detective? Yes, it was due to “a dame” (as plates in 1955. on stage, she never recorded it. Tony they said back then). In the very first Dick • Welsh singer Bonnie Tyler belted out TopBennett’s manager came across the track Tracy comic strip, girlfriend Tess TrueTen hits like “It’s a Heartache” and “Total and recommended it to his client. Bennett heart was kidnapped and her father was Eclipse of the Heart.” Her raspy voice cut the song in 1962, and it became his murdered. Tracy joined the police force to caused many to refer to her as “the fesignature tune. track down the man responsible. Tracy did male Rod Stewart,” but she wasn’t singrescue Tess and arrest the mug who mur- • While Rin-Tin-Tin became more famous ing that way on purpose. After having surdered her dad, but he got so involved in later on, the first true big-screen German gery in 1977 to remove nodules on her fighting crime that he didn’t get around to shepherd star was a dog named Strongvocal cords, she returned to singing more marrying Trueheart for another 20 years. heart. Trained as a police dog in Germaquickly than her doctor recommended. ny, a husband-and-wife filmmaking team Her voice was damaged a bit as a result, • Lisa Bonet was Bill Cosby’s “problem brought Strongheart to America to apchild” during the run of The Cosby Show. which gave her that trademark “gravelly” pear in silent films. The canine proved so She often showed up late for work and arsound. popular that his name and picture were gued with the cast and crew. Because her • Sally Field is popularly remembered for placed on cans of his very own Strongcharacter (Denise) was the most popular her gushing speech at the 1985 Academy heart-brand dog food. Huxtable, Cosby overlooked her faults. Awards ceremony, when she won the Best Actress trophy for Places in the Heart. It’s commonly remembered as: “You like me, you really like me!” But in reality, when she stepped up to the podium to accept her Oscar, her words were: “I can’t deny the fact that you like me, right now, you like me!”
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• King Richard I of England is better known as Richard the Lionhearted. He commanded his own army at age 16 and spent much of his time in France quashing rebellions aimed at deposing his father, Henry II. Richard was crowned king
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1Q09 - WEEK 06 FEB 1 - FEB 7
February 02, 2009
Tidbits® - Denver Metro Area PRESENTS TRIVIA NEWSFRONT™ by Kara Kovalchik & Sandy Wood
1. PSYCHOLOGY: What is lachanophobia a fear of? 2. MUSIC: What other musical instrument does the marimba most closely resemble? 3. FAMOUS QUOTATIONS: Which entertainer once said: “Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.”?
1. As a 23-year old, who wrote the renowned 1940 novel The Heart is a Lonely Hunter? 2. In the feature film Music of the Heart, what musical instrument did Meryl Streep teach to inner-city students? 3. What Night Court actress co-starred with the late John Ritter on the sitcom Hearts Afire? 4. What New Wave band had a number one pop hit with the disco-influenced 1979 single “Heart of Glass”? 5. “The stars at night are big and bright deep in the heart of...” which U.S. state?
4. MEASUREMENTS: What does a caliper measure? 5. ENTERTAINERS: What famous entertainer was born Eldred Peck? 6. LANGUAGE: What is something that is described as a “cakewalk”? 7. GEOGRAPHY: Which of Canada’s provinces has the slogan, “La Belle Province”? 8. ANIMAL KINGDOM: What is a young swan called? 9. MOVIES: Which movie featured a girl gang called the Pink Ladies? 10. U.S. OLYMPICS: In which sport is the pommel horse used? Answers 1. Vegetables 2. Xylophone 3. Mel Brooks 4. Diameter or thickness 5. Gregory Peck 6. An easy task 7. Quebec 8. Cygnet 9. “Grease” 10. Gymnastics (c) 2009 King Features Synd., Inc.
NUMBER PUZZLE Fill in the grid so that every column, every row, and every 3 x 3 box contains the digits 1 through 9.
5
2
3
9 1
8
3 9
1 6 5 9 7 4 8 6 4 8 9 3 4 1 2
TRIVIA NEWSFRONT ANSWERS
Page 3
1. Carson McCullers 2. the violin 3. Markie Post 4. Blondie 5. Texas • On Feb. 4, 1789, 69 members of ALWAYS Congress FREE cast their ballots to elect George Washington the first president of the United States. After ALWAYS FUN to sidestep, months of appearing and even outright rejecting, the idea of assuming the presidency, Washington reluctantly accepted Congress’ decision. • On Feb. 7, 1812, the most violent of a series of earthquakes near Missouri causes a so-called fluvial tsunami in the Mississippi River, actually making the river run backward for several hours. One of the tremors in the series caused church bells to ring in Boston, more than a thousand miles away. • On Feb. 6, 1820, the first organized NUMBER immigration of freed slaves to Africa PUZZLE ANSWER from the United States departs New York harbor on a journey to 7Sierra 6 5 Leone 9 8 4in 2West 1 3Africa. The 1 7 partially 5 9 funded 3expedition 8 4 6 2was by the U.S. Congress, which had 7 4 8 6 to be used 2appropriated 1 9 3 5 $100,000 in returning displaced Africans to 7 2 4 9 3 1 6 8 5Africa.
6 22,11887, 5 9 Groundhog 7 4 • 8On3Feb. Day, 6 5 3meteorologist, 2 4featuring 9 1 8 a7 rodent is celebrated for the first time in 2 3 5 4 8 Pa. 6 9 According 7 1Punxsutawney, to if a groundhog comes 9tradition, 5 8 7 6 2 3 4 1 out of its hole on this day and 3 9 8 there 2 5 will be six 6sees 4 7its 1shadow, more weeks of winter weather; no shadow means an early spring.
. . . . . GOES LONG • On Feb. 8, 1924, the first execution
by models lethal were gasinstalled in American history The heart-shaped bathtub was invented in 1963. The first is carried out in at Caesar’s Cove Haven Honeymoon Resort in the Pocono Mountains. Carson City, Nev.
The executed man was Tong Lee, a member of a Chinese gang who was convicted of murdering a rival gang member.
Barrel of Knowledge
• In England, when you reach 80, 90 or 100 years of age, you receive a telegram from the Queen. • In Korea, the two most important birthdays are the 100th day and the 60th year. • More people celebrate their birthdays in August than in any other month. The two other months in which birthday rates are high are July and September. • The most common birth date is October 5 and the least common is May 22 in the U.S.A.
• On Feb. 5, 1937, President Franklin Roosevelt announces a controversial plan to expand the Supreme Court to as many as 15 judges. Critics immediately charged that Roosevelt was trying to “pack” the court and thus neutralize Supreme Court justices hostile to his New Deal. • On Feb. 3, 1959, rising American rock stars Buddy Holly, Ritchie Valens and J.P. “The Big Bopper” Richardson are killed when their chartered Beechcraft Bonanza airplane crashes in Iowa a few minutes after takeoff from Mason City on a flight bound for Minnesota. (c) 2009 King Features Synd., Inc.
Tidbits® - Denver Metro Area
Page 4
February 02, 2009
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The film also stars former porn princess Traci Lords and the black guy from “The Office.” Oh sure, I coulda looked up the guy’s name and written it down here, but you’d just go, “Who?” and I’d have to say, “You know, the black guy from ‘The Office.’” And you’d say, “Oh, him.” So, shut up; I’m not being racist. The first half of the movie is full-on, foulmouthed, classic Kevin Smith. Then about halfway through the movie, the plot takes a weird left turn into The Romantic Comedy Zone. It’s not a bad choice, really. I mean you kind of see it coming, but it does make the movie on the whole seem uneven. Still, it’s well worth your time if you liked “The 40-Year-Old Virgin” or “Superbad.” WORTH NOTING “Nick & Norah’s Infinite Playlist” -- This was a cute little movie that kind of reminded me of “Juno” -- one of those Indie movies that sometimes tries too hard to be Indie and Quirky and Hip, but thanks to the solid performances by the cast, you forgive the film for its painful attempt at trying to be counterculture. The film stars Michael Cera playing .... Michael Cera. Sure, his character’s name is Nick, but it’s just the same guy Michael Cera plays in all his movies. Nick is in a band and makes mix CDs for his ex, Tris, who keeps throwing them away. Tris’ friend Norah (the adorable Kat Dennings) has fallen in love with Nick even though she has never met him. She loves him for his musical taste. The quest to attend a secret concert has Nick and Norah finally crossing paths one night, having a series of adventures and eventually falling in love. It’s a sweet film with a great soundtrack, and the performances by all the actors are pretty darned good. A great date movie and definitely recommended. TV SERIES “Cheers” The Final Season “The Invaders” Second Season “The Love Boat” Season 2, Vol. 1 “Blossom” Seasons 1 and 2 “Meerkat Manor” Season 4 (c) 2009 King Features Synd., Inc.
Free Events
Bus Tour of the Golden Triangle Art/ Museum District - First Friday of every month free, 5 - 9 pm. Ballet Arts Theatre, 816 Acoma St, Denver 303-825-7570 www.pnfproductions.com Children’s Museum - Free admission first Tuesday evening of the month, 4 - 8pm 2121 Children’s Museum Drive www.cmdenver.org Colorado Railroad Museum - Check the web site for free days. www.crrm.org 17155 W. 44th Avenue, Golden 303-279-4591 CU In Broomfield World Music Series - Free concerts 2nd Wed of every month, 7pm Broomfield Auditorium, 3 Community Park Road, 303-469-3301 x7999 www.broomfield.org Denver Art Museum - First Sat of every month free to Colo residents, 10am - 5pm 100 West 14th Avenue Parkway www.denverartmuseum.org Denver Botanic Gardens - Free day: First Friday of each month, 9am - 5pm 1005 York Street, 720-865-3500 www.botanicgardens.org Denver Museum of Nature & Science - 2009 Free days: Mon Feb 2, Wed Mar 18, Sun Apr 19, Sun May 31, Wed Jun 10, Mon Jul 13, Wed Aug 12, Sun Sep 13, Sun Oct 4, Mon Nov 2, Sun Nov 22. 2001 Colorado Boulevard, 303-322-7009 www.dmns.org Firehouse Tales For Tots- Denver Firefighters Museum 1356 Tremont Pl, (303) 892-1436. First Wednesday of each month 10:00 am - 10:30 am. Ages 2-6 Museum of Contemporary Art - First Saturday of every month - Admission: 1 penny 1275 19th St, Denver 303-298-7554 www.mcartdenver.org U.S. Mint - Free: Mon - Fri; 8am - 3pm; reservations encouraged 320 West Colfax Ave., 303-405-4761 www.usmint.gov
Sports
Colorado Avalanche - NHL Avalanche host Flames: Mon Feb 2, 7:30 pm Avalanche host Stars: Thu Feb 5, 7:00 pm Blues host Avalanche: Sat Feb 7, 6:30 pm Blue Jackets host Avalanche: Tue Feb 10, 5 pm Wild host Avalanche: Wed Feb 11, 6:00 pm Avalanche host Canadiens: Fri Feb 13, 7:00 pm Red Wings host Avalanche: Sun Feb 15, 3:00 pm Avalanche host Senators: Tue Feb 17, 7:30 pm Capitals host Avalanche: Fri Feb 20, 5:00 pm Hurricans host Avalanche: Sun Feb 22, 1:00 pm Thrashers host Avalanche: Tue Feb 24, 5:00 pm Devils host Avalanche: Thu Feb 26, 5:00 pm Rangers host Avalanche: Sat Feb 28, 5:00 pm Islanders host Avalanche: Mon Mar 2, 5:00 pm Avalanche hosts Red Wings: Wed Mar 4, 7:00pm Denver Nuggets - NBA Nuggets host San Antonio: Tue Feb 3, 7:00 pm Oklahoma City hosts Nuggets: Wed Feb 4, 6 pm Washington hosts Nuggets: Fri Feb 6, 6:00 pm New Jersey hosts Nuggets: Sat Feb 7, 5:30 pm Miami hosts Nuggets: Tue Feb 10, 5:30 pm Orlando hosts Nuggets: Wed Feb 11, 5:00 pm Philadelphia hosts Nuggets: Wed Feb 18, 6 pm Chicago hosts Nuggets: Fri Feb 20, 6:30 pm Milwaukee hosts Nuggets: Sun Feb 22, 3:00 pm Nuggets host Boston: Mon Feb 23, 7:00 pm Nuggets host Atlanta: Wed Feb 25, 7:00 pm Nuggets host Lakers: Fri Feb 27, 7:00 pm Indiana hosts Nuggets: Sun MAr 1, 5:00 pm Detroit hosts Nuggets: Tue Mar 3, 5:30 pm Nuggets host Portland: Thu Mar 5, 8:30 pm Colorado Mammoth - Natl Lacrosse League Minnesota hosts Mammoth: Sat Feb 7, 6:00 pm Mammoth host Calgary: Sat Feb 14, 7:00 pm San Jose hosts Mammoth: Sat Feb 21, 7:30 pm Edmonton hosts Mammoth: Sun Feb 22, 6:00 pm San Jose hosts Mammoth: Sat Mar 14, 1:30 pm Colorado Rockies - Major League Baseball Spring Training Rockies host Arizona: Wed Feb 25, 1:10 pm Rockies host White Sox: Thu Feb 26, 1:10 pm Angels host Rockies: Fri Feb 27, 1:05 pm Rockies host Dodgers: Sat Feb 28, 1:10 pm Colorado Rapids - Major League Soccer Denver Outlaws - Major League Lacrosse Denver Broncos - National Football League
February 02, 2009
Tidbits® - Denver Metro Area
Page 5
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Events MicroChip Your Cat - FREE: September 2008 - September 2009 (as long as supplies last); Various veterinary hospitals and clinics across the metro area. 150,000 cats metrowide will receive free microchips! Visit www. ChipYourCat.com for details. FREE Nutrition Classes: Tuesdays January 6, 2009 - March 24, 2009; Brekshires at Lowry 6704-A E. Cedar Ave, Denver 10am - 11am or 6pm - 7pm. Free Personal Coaching, Free Nutritional Information. Learn how to eat and stay healthy with our fast-paced lifestyle. Get to meet new people and have fun. For more information and pre-registration, contact Vivian (303) 355-4770
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Second Annual Denver Uke Fest: February Qualified candidates for bothFILLER positionsPAGE 1 7, 2009: Swallow Hills Music Association, 71 must have their own transportation. 1Q09 - WEEK 06 Tuesday - Friday 10:00 am - 6:00 pm E Yale Ave, Denver. $80 Advance All Day Fest A MAZE FEB 1 - FEB 7 Pass, $90 Day of Show All Day Fest Pass, Saturday 10:00 am - MENT 5:00 pm No Calls Please send a request for an LAUGHS! $25 Advance Evening Show Pass, $27 Day Sunday 1:00 pm - 5:00 pm application to: of Evening Show Pass. Instrument builders, Closed Monday and legal holidays 2009.06 Cabbage always has Info@TidbitsOfDenver.com a heart; vendors, workshops, panels, a film screening, Senior Editor: Kara Kovalchik jams, an open stage, a huge evening concertGreen beans string along. Editorial Director: Sandy10890 Wood E Dartmouth Ave Ste D, Denver and midnight jam. Evening concert headlined You're such a Tomato, (between Havana and Parker) email: tidbitseditors@sbcglobal.net Will you Peas to me belong? Quips & Quotes by James Hill. Other performers include Sweet (303) 337-8181 make trees take deeper roots. You’ve been Storms the Apple of my eye, Hollywaiians, Victoria Vox, Boulder Acoustic You know how much I care; — Dolly Parton Society, Mad Tea Party, The Hobo Nickels, and So Lettuce get together, PLANT AD Ukulele Loki. www.SwallowHillMusic.org You usually can’t tell what’s inspiring YOUR until We'd make a perfect Pear. IN AN ISSUE OF you look back on it. 35th Annual Denver March PowWow: March Now, something’s sure to Turnip, — Carly Simon 20 - March 22, 2009: The Denver Coliseum,To prove you can’t be Beet; Don’t pay chain Denver. Doors open Friday - Sunday 10:00 am. theallworld So, if youAll Carrot for meis birthday cake, so take a prices for The Denver March Pow Wow Committee, on Let’s let piece, our Tulips meet. but not too much. AND behalf of the Denver Indian community, invites Tax Preparation! — WATCH George Harrison I’ll Cauliflower shop and say YOUR all dancers, singers, traders, spectators and Your dreamsUntil are Parsley mine. Families & Individuals you’re ready to look SALES foolish, you’ll powwow fans to their 25th annual powwow.I’ll work and share my Celery, Small Business Tax Specialist have the possibilityGROW! of being great. Enjoy dancing, singing, crafts, artisans, So be never my valentine! 1040 - $68.95* — Cher frybread and more. $7 per day or $18 for 1040A - $43.95* a three day pass. Seniors ages 60+ and 1040EZ - $25.95* children under 6 years of age are FREE! www. (*In office prices include 1040 form only, CO return & e-filing) DenverMarchPowWow.org 6th Annual Weekend of Jazz: March 26 March 28, 2009: The Broadmoor, Colorado QUIZ BITS Springs. Grammy Award winning guitarist, by Kara Kovalchik & Sandy Wood Earl Klugh, annually invites jazz and music enthusiasts to a unique, luxurious getaway 1. What is the real name at the Five Star, Five Diamond Broadmoor of the musical artist Resort. Patti Austin, Spyro Gyra, Jesse, J, Bob James, R ‘n’ R (Rick Braun and Richard known as Captain Elliot), and more. Tickets now on sale! www. Beefheart? WeekendOfJazz.com
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INTRODUCING
2. Who is the lead 3rd Annual RootsFest - Formerly Known assinger of the the Denver Folk and Roots Music Festival: rock band March 28, 2009; Ellie Caulkins Opera House, Heart?
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Parker Country Festival: June 12, 2009 - QUIZ BITS June 14, 2009; Town of Parker, Main Street. ANSWERS FREE Admission - Individual activies such as 1. DON VAN VLIET carnival rides will have costs. Carnival, 150 arts and craft/Commercial vendors, kids’ activities, 2. ANN WILSON two stages of free entertainment and a parade. An affordable way to advertise YOUR Friday 5:00 pm - 11:00 pm. Saturdy 9:00 am Wedding Associated business! 11:00 pm. Sunday 9:00 am - 10:00 pm. www. ParkerOnLine.org
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Jazz Aspen Snowmass Festival: June - Denver 18, 2009 - June 28, 2009; Snowmass “Love is1.2 a fire.MILLION But whetherTidbits it is going Village Resort, Snowmass Colorado. Ticket to warm your heartArea or burnReaders down Information to be announced. NEW VENUE! your house, you can never tell.” CALL TODAY! Show Times To Be Announced. Music, Food, ~ Joan Crawford Friends and Fun. www.SnowmassVillage.com (303) 688-1987
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Tidbits® - Denver Metro Area
Page 6
Aurora Schools Credit Union Launches Tough Financial Literacy Program IT’S FREE TO EVERYONE — CREDIT UNION MEMBER OR NOT Ever wonder whom to trust when it comes to consumer information and financial literacy? Aurora Schools Credit Union says it has the program just for you. Aurora Schools Credit Union has formed an education and literacy partnership with a nationally known group of consumer advocates to deliver highquality, free financial education and literacy programs to everyone. FoolProof: The program is called “FoolProof”, and it offers tough, real advice from consumer advocates. “None of the FoolProof programs sell anything,” says Brad Johnson, President of Aurora Schools Credit Union. “Who wouldn’t want to be smarter about money, or have the confidence to make the best decisions when it comes to the quality of their lives? FoolProof tells you the truth about products and services so you can have that confidence. FoolProof gives every resident of our community real financial education and real consumer information. Isn’t that what we all need?
Dear Tidbits Readers: Tidbits - Denver Metro Area can now place your display or classified ad in over 300 papers across the country! Papers such as: American Classifieds; Penny Saver; Thrifty Nickel; and other Tidbit publications throughout the USA. There is no need to contact each paper individually to place an ad. PRIVATE PARTY ADS - start at $12.00 per week for the first 20 words and 35 cents for each additional word. B U S I N E S S / COMMERCIAL ADS - start at $18.00 per week for the first 20 words and 35 cents for each additional word. Email us at Classifieds@ TidbitsOfDenver.com or call us at (303) 688-1987 to place your ad today
We’re excited to bring that to our members and non-members alike,” concluded Mr. Johnson. Five separate FoolProof programs, all free, all developed by real consumer advocates. Aurora Schools Credit Union is offering these consumer education programs. All free, all filled with tough, guide and a self-scoring test system that objective consumer information for all ages. sends individual test results to the teacher. The program is online and available 24/7. FoolProof provides five full days of classroom FoolProof Solo teaches a college-age work, all self-grading. The core FoolProof person, or even older adults with limited sessions, presented in 5 classroom modules financial knowledge about the realities of and 2 additional homework modules, cover money and credit. The modules are tough, most of the basic topics included in high school curriculum guidelines. FoolProof for interactive and interesting. Ever worry about your kids or grandkids High Schools does not try to sell to your and money? FoolProof for Parents students. and Grandparents involves parents and grandparents in their children’s financial education. All can be done at home, all web-driven, and taught by young people with whom kids can relate. These highly interactive ‘modules’ run about 45 minutes each, feature videos, music, and games. Each module concludes with a test and the results come directly to you, the parent or grandparent. FoolProof for High Schools is a tool for teachers in the classroom. The program requires virtually no preparation on the part of the teacher. For teachers, FoolProof for High Schools includes an online teacher’s
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FoolProof Information Edge is an on-line newspaper that features videos, podcasts and breaking news.
FoolProof’s CUHQ, a year-round, interactive website for young people ties everything together with great information that relates to what is taught in the FoolProof modules. Give one of the free FoolProof programs a try right now. Head to www.asfcu.com and click on FoolProof.
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WEEKLY FUNNIES
By Samantha Weaver • It is recorded in historical notes of the 19th century that the Reverend Francis Henry Egerton, Earl of Bridgewater, made a habit during the last years of his life of sitting down to a formal dinner every evening with a dozen guests. This might not seem odd until you learn that the guests were all canines, seated in armchairs and with napkins tied around their necks. • It was French military leader Napoleon Bonaparte who made the following sage observation: “In politics, absurdity is not a handicap.” • After his death in 2005, the ashes of Hunter S. Thompson, pioneer of gonzo journalism and author of the infamous novel “Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas,” were fired spaceward from a giant cannon to the accompaniment of fireworks and the Bob Dylan song “Mr. Tambourine Man.” • It’s been reported that the average lifespan of a tree in the metropolis of New York City is only seven years. • Evidently, it’s not just humans who associate a deeper voice with maturity (and desirability) in males. It seems that male owls try to appear more macho and attract females by lowering the tone of their hoots. • Every year an organization known as the Diagram Group awards a prize to the person who submits the strangest title of an actual book that was published in that year. Here’s a sampling of previous winners: “Proceedings of the Second International Conference on Nude Mice,” “The Theory of Lengthwise Rolling,” “High-Performance Stiffened Structures,” “Living With Crazy Buttocks,” “Greek Rural Postmen and Their Cancellation Numbers” and “Butterworths Corporate Manslaughter Service.” • Records show that in England in 1552, William Shakespeare’s father had to pay a fine for littering. (c) 2009 King Features Synd., Inc.
Thought for the Day: “Failure is not the only punishment for laziness; there is also the success of others.” -- Jules Renard TRIVIA NEWSFRONT ANSWERS
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Tidbits® - Denver Metro Area
February 02, 2009
Farmer Jones had heard that the best milk comes from contented cows. Therefore, he’d visit them every morning and tell them jokes. The cows laughed and laughed and gave excellent milk. But the news got around about the cows. They became known as the laughing stock of the community.
Page 7
CHANGE A LIFE
Seeking adults to provide love, supervision, patience and attention for children 2 - 17 in your home.
Tax FREE Reimbursement, training and support - Call Sarah (303) 302-3263 Denver Area Youth Services
A little girl in first grade was doing very well especially in spelling. One day she came home with new words to study for an upcoming test and she asked her mother to help. They came to the word ‘knit’ and her mother asked her to spell it. She said, “ni-t”. Her mother said, “No, try again.” She said, very slowly, “n-i-t”. Her mother said, “Now, honey, I know you know how to spell this word, try again.” Very aggravated and very slowly, as if her mother was just not getting the whole picture, she spelled, “N-IT!” Finally, her mother told her that the correct spelling was k-n-i-t. The little girl looked at her mother, put her hands on her hips and said, “THE ‘K’ IS SILENT!”
He said, “I’ll be right back don’t go away,” and he vanished. Sneaking over to the first door, Mac peeked in and saw a cockpit where the pilot was condemned to forever run through preflight checks. He slammed the door and peeked into the second. There, alarms rang and red lights flashed while a pilot had to avoid one emergency after another. Unable to imagine a worse fate Mac cautiously opened the third door. He was amazed to see many beautiful, scantily clad flight attendants answering to a captain’s every whim. He quickly returned to his place seconds before the devil reappeared. “Okay, Mac,” said the devil, “Which door will it be, There was a job opening in the country’s number 1 or number 2?” “Um, I want door most prestigious law firm and it finally comes number 3,” answered Mac. “Sorry,” said the down to Robert and Paul. Both graduated devil. “You can’t have door number 3. That’s magna cum laude from law school. Both flight attendants’ hell.” come from good families. Both are equally attractive and well spoken. It’s up to the Morris walks out into the street and mansenior partner to choose one, so he takes ages to get a taxi just as it comes driving each candidate aside and asks, “Why did by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie you become a lawyer?” Only seconds af- says, “Perfect timing. You’re just like Dave.” ter talking to them both, he chooses Paul. “Who?” “Dave Aronson. He’s this guy who Baffled, Robert takes Paul aside after the did everything right. Like my coming along interview. “I don’t understand why I was re- when you needed a cab. It would have hapjected. When Mr. Armstrong asked me why I pened like that to Dave.” “There are always became a lawyer, I said that I had the great- a few clouds over everyone,” says Morris. est respect for the law, that I’d lay down my “Not Dave. He was a terrific athlete. He life for the Constitution and that all I wanted could have gone on the pro tour in tennis. was to do right by my clients. What in the He could golf with the pros. He sang like an world did you tell him?” “I said I became a opera baritone and danced like a Broadway lawyer because of my hands,” Paul replies. star.” “He was something, huh?” “He had “Your hands? What do you mean?” “Well, a memory like a trap. Could remember evI took a look one day and there wasn’t any erybody’s birthday. He knew all about wine, which fork to eat with. He could fix anything. money in either of them!” Not like me. I change a fuse, and I black out While watching my six-year-old daughter the whole neighborhood.” “No wonder you play with her cars and trucks, I prided myself remember him.” “Well, I never actually met on having raised her to play outside the con- Dave.” “Then how do you know so much fines of gender restrictions that had always about him?” asks Morris. “Because I marfrustrated me as a child. Beaming, I asked ried his widow.” her about her game. “Well,” she answered innocently, “the big truck is the daddy, this car is the mommy, and the little car is the baby.” Mac died at the controls of a plane and went to pilot’s hell, where he found a hideous devil and three doors. The devil was busy escorting other pilots to various ‘hell rooms.’
WEEKLY ANSWERS
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Page 8
Laugh Lines! Puns & Groaners...
• A backwards poet writes inverse. • A baker’s job is a piece of cake. • A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is two tired.
Tidbits® - Denver Metro Area stole the show. • A good baker will rise to the occasion - it’s the yeast he can do. • A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart. • A guy became so good with a chainsaw that he was promoted to branch manager. • A guy who used to sell boomerangs is trying for a comeback.
• A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
• A guy with money to burn may well find a gal who wants to play with fire.
• A cannibal’s favourite game is ‘swallow the leader’.
• A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
• A cardboard belt would be a waist of paper. • A cat ate some cheese and waited for a mouse with baited breath. • A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion. • A criminal’s best asset is his lie ability. • A dentist and manicurist fought tooth and nail. • A ditch digger is entrenched in his career. • A doctor who fell on his funny bone had a nurse tell him it was a humerus incident. • A dog went to the flea circus and
• A lot of money is tainted. It taint yours and it taint mine. • A man given a watch at his retirement said ‘it’s about time’. • A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy. • A man’s home is his castle, in a manor of speaking. • A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large. • A music store was robbed. The thief made away with the lute. • A nut named Hazel held up a bank saying ‘give me all the cashew have’. • A pediatrician is a doctor of little patients.
February 02, 2009
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