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PRESIDENTIAL NAMES By Eric A. Iron
Each U.S. president’s name has been adopted for a variety of uses. In 1800, our nation’s new capital was named after the first president, George Washington. In 2008, a particular species of round fungus beetle was named for our newest ex-president, George W. Bush. Okay, so not all of the uses are flattering…
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• Fort Adams, named in honor of our second president, John Adams, sits along the coast in Newport, Rhode Island. Crowds gather at the location each year to attend the celebrated Newport Jazz Festival.
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• One of Cincinnati’s most posh areas is Mt. Adams, named for John Quincy Adams. In the mid-1800s, the hill became the home of the world’s most powerful telescopes. • Blues music legend Chester Arthur Burnett was named for President Chester Alan Arthur. As a performer, Burnett adopted a more colorful name: Howlin’ Wolf. • Do you recall which group of TV students attended James Buchanan High? Was it the hoopsters from The White Shadow, the teenagers in Happy Days, or the Sweathogs from Welcome Back, Kotter? Find the answer at the very end of this article. • The northeastern suburbs of Atlanta have become a huge shopping destination. One of the heaviest-traveled thoroughfares in the area is Jimmy Carter Boulevard, named after the former president from Georgia. • Renowned baseball pitcher Pete Alexander was named after our 22nd and 24th presidents. What? You don’t remember a President named Pete or Alexander? Well, Pete was Alexander’s nickname; his moniker at birth was Grover Cleveland Alexander.
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Page 2 PRESIDENTIAL NAMES (continued) • Coolidge Dam, built in the 1920s and named for Calvin Coolidge, gathers eastern Arizona’s Gila River into San Carlos Lake. • Dwight Eisenhower is the only president to date with a four-syllable last name. You’ve driven (or ridden) on roadways named for him, as his name is firmly attached to the Eisenhower Interstate Highway System.
Show, Sheriff Taylor’s full name is revealed to be Andrew Jackson Taylor. President Andrew Jackson was born in 1767 on the border between North and South Carolina. • In years past, Texas’ wealthy often headed elsewhere to retire. Today, many of them opt to find a cozy spot along Lake LBJ, a central Texas spot famous for its great boating. (Lyndon Johnson did own property on the lake, and visited it regularly during his term.) • When John F. Kennedy was assassinated in 1963, tributes rose all across the country. In New York, Idlewild Airport became JFK Airport. In Florida, Cape Canaveral became Cape Kennedy.
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fare Island. • Manhattan’s Madison Avenue, Madison Square, and the famed Madison Square • In a famous cartoon, Theodore Roosevelt was depicted as being merciful to a bear Garden were named for our nation’s fourth • During the run of TV’s The Brady Bunch, cub. From then on, plush bear dolls adpresident, James Madison. the older and middle kids attended Fillopted his nickname and became “Teddy more Junior High, named for mid-19th- • In 1822, the country of Liberia was formed bears.” on the Atlantic coast of Africa to accomcentury president Millard Fillmore. modate freed slaves that wanted to leave • Named for then-president Harry Truman, • Each year, the NCAA presents the Gerald the Truman Doctrine went into effect in America. Liberia stands as the oldest inR. Ford Award to a person who has dedi1947 in an attempt to prevent the spread dependent African nation. Monrovia, its cated his or her life to college athletics. of Communism into southeast Europe. capital, was named for President James • In a round-about fashion, Garfield the cat Monroe. • The first American city named after George was named for 20th president James GarWashington was chartered in 1780, be• Washington State’s Franklin Pierce School field. Creator Jim Davis took the name fore he became president. The city of District has it better than most. Not only do from his grandfather, James Garfield DaWashington, Georgia, was founded nearly they receive assistance from prestigious vis, who was named for the former presia year before General Washington led his local organizations like the Gates Foundadent. troops through the famous winter at Valley tion, but how many school playgrounds of• Grant’s Tomb is named for Ulysses S. Forge. fer a view as gorgeous as that overlooking Grant. And to answer the age-old quesMt. Rainier? • Dozens of universities, colleges, and othtion, no one is actually “buried in Grant’s er schools are named for presidents. One • National Airport in Washington, D.C. was Tomb.” (It’s an above-ground mausoleof the most prestigious is the Woodrow renamed Ronald Reagan Washington um.) Wilson School of Public & International AfNational Airport in 1998. It handles much • One of the largest and oldest trees in the fairs, part of Princeton University. of the city’s intercontinental traffic, while world is a Giant Sequoia named ‘Presinearby Dulles offers more international ANSWER TO QUESTION ON PAGE 1: dent.’ It’s located in California’s Sequoia flights. • Barbarino, Horshack and the other SweatNational Park and was named for Warren • Political pundits may chuckle after learnhogs attended Brooklyn’s fictional James Harding. ing that Franklin D. Roosevelt Island – in Buchanan High School on TV’s Welcome • Named after our 23rd president, the SS the East River between Manhattan and Back, Kotter. Benjamin Harrison served only one year Queens – was previously known as Welbefore a torpedo took her out of commission during World War II. • To thank Rutherford B. Hayes for his help in their border dispute with Argentina, Paraguay named one of its “departments” (the equivalent of a “state”) Presidente Hayes. Its capital? Villa Hayes, of course. • “Hoovervilles” sprang up all across America during the Great Depression. This was the name the press gave to to the shantytowns where some were forced to live in the 1930s, when Herbert Hoover was president. • On a few episodes of The Andy Griffith
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1Q09 - WEEK 07 FEB 08 - FEB 14
February 09, 2009
Tidbits® - Denver Metro Area PRESENTS TRIVIA NEWSFRONT™ by Kara Kovalchik & Sandy Wood
1. TELEVISION: What was the name of the robot in the comedy series “Get Smart”?
Can you name the five different political parties that were represented in Washington, D.C. by these five former U.S. presidents?
2. MEDICINE: Who is credited with discovering a vaccine for measles?
1. Ulysses S. Grant 2. John Adams
3. LITERATURE: What famous author also wrote under the pseudonym of Tex Burns?
3. Zachary Taylor 4. James Monroe
4. HISTORY: Who was the United States’ first chief justice of the Supreme Court?
5. Andrew Jackson
5. BUSINESS: What is AT&T’s stock ticker symbol? 6. GEOGRAPHY: What African country lies directly west of Sudan?
NUMBER PUZZLE Fill in the grid so that every column, every row, and every 3 x 3 box contains the digits 1 through 9.
7. GENERAL KNOWLEDGE: How many lines are in a sonnet?
6 1
8. GAMES: How many cards are used in pinochle? 9. U.S. STATES: Which state would you hail from if you were called a “Tar Heel”? 10. FAMOUS QUOTES: Who once said, “He taught me housekeeping; when I divorce I keep the house”? Answers 1. Hymie 2. John F. Enders and Thomas Peebles 3. Louis L’Amour 4. John Jay 5. T 6. Chad 7. 14 8. 48 9. North Carolina 10. Zsa Zsa Gabor (c) 2009 King Features Synd., Inc.
8 7
3
9 3 8 2 4 2 1 5 6 8 3 8 6 2 4 5 8 2 3 5 7
TRIVIA NEWSFRONT ANSWERS
Page 3
1. Republican 2. Federalist 3. Whig 4. Democratic-Republican 5. Democratic • On Feb. 14, 278 A.D., Valentine, ALWAYS FREE a holy priest in Rome, is executed for continuing to perform marriages for young lovers in secret after ALWAYS FUNthe Cruel banned Emperor Claudius all marriages and engagements. Legend has it that while in jail, Valentine left a farewell note for the jailer’s daughter and signed it “From Your Valentine.” • On Feb. 15, 1903, toy-store owner and inventor Morris Michtom places two stuffed bears in his shop window, advertising them as “Teddy” bears. Michtom had earlier received permission from President Theodore Roosevelt to use his nickname. Stuffed bears soon became a national childhood institution. • On Feb. 11, 1916, Emma Goldman, NUMBER a crusader for women’s rights PUZZLE ANSWER and social justice, is arrested in New York City for lecturing and 3distributing 4 2 7 9 materials 8 5 6 1about birth “Red 3 7 6control. 1 9 Goldman, 4 5 2 8 nicknamed Emma,” was later convicted and 6 4 9 2 8spent 7 5time 1 in3 jail. • 9On2 Feb. 7 3 412,5 61924, 1 8 American composer George Gershwin’s 1“Rhapsody 3 8 9 6in 7Blue” 2 5 is4 performed the first time as part of a concert 5for 6 4 8 2 1 3 7 9 in New York City. Gershwin’s other in 5 1 include 6 8 9 “An 7 2 American 3 4works Paris,” written in 1928 and used as 7a ballet 8 6 for 2 1Gene 3 9Kelly 4 5in the 1951 movie of the same name.
2 9 3 5 7 4 1 8 6
• On Feb. 13, 1958, the first Ford Thunderbird with four seats is introduced. The four-passenger . . . . . GOES LONG “square bird” converted the top-ofMost who traverse it assume that Virginia’s Benjamin Harrison Bridgethe-line is named for our 23rd president. It Ford from a sports car to was actually named for a Benjamin Harrison from the prior century who served ascar. the state’s governor. thousand a luxury Thirty-eight cars were initially sold, making the T-Bird one of only two American cars to increase sales between 1957 and 1958. • On Feb. 9, 1971, pitcher Leroy “Satchel” Paige becomes the first Negro League veteran to be nominated for the Baseball Hall of Fame. He earned his nickname as a boy when he earned money carrying passengers’ bags at train stations.
Barrel of Knowledge
• The current Oscar statuette is made of gold-plated britannium, a metal alloy, and stands 13 1/2” tall and weighs 8 1/2 pounds. The base of the statuette is metal. • The first Academy Award of Merit was awarded on May 16, 1929. • The only Oscar to win an Oscar was Oscar Hammerstein II for his song, “The Last Time I Saw Paris,” in the movie Lady Be Good (1941). • Midnight Cowboy (1969), the winner of the Academy Award for Best Picture, is the only X-rated movie to win an Oscar.
• On Feb. 10, 1996, after three hours, world chess champion Gary Kasparov loses the first game of a six-game match against Deep Blue, an IBM computer capable of evaluating 200 million moves per second. Kasparov was ultimately victorious, however, as he bested Deep Blue in the match with three wins and two ties and took home the $400,000 prize. (c) 2009 King Features Synd., Inc.
Tidbits® - Denver Metro Area
Page 4
February 09, 2009
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PICK OF THE WEEK “The Back to the Future Trilogy” -- One of the biggest blockbusters of the mid-’80s is being re-released this week. Michael J. Fox plays Marty McFly, a high-school student who uses Doc Brown’s (Christopher Lloyd) time-traveling DeLorean to travel back and forth in time -- from the 1980s to the 1880s to 2015. If you don’t already have the trilogy in your collection, this is as good a time as
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any to buy, since the discs are being sold individually at a reduced price. Don’t expect any new special features or anything. It’s just a bare-bones repackaging of each of the three films. DOG OF THE WEEK “W.” -- Regardless of your political bent, Oliver Stone’s biopic of George W. Bush is a ponderous mish-mash of a film. The alleged comedic bits play like a stale SNL skit that’s gone on for too long, and any attempts at gravitas fall flat or are unintentionally funny. That said there are good performances by Elizabeth Banks (as Laura Bush), James Cromwell (as Bush Sr.) and Richard Dreyfus (as Dick Cheney), but they get lost in the constant jumping back-and-forth between vignettes of Bush’s past and the lead-up the invasion of Iraq.
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Also, “W.” doesn’t have the same depth of character as Stone’s other presidential biopic, “Nixon,” which was an incredible piece of cinema and a balanced, sympathetic insight into one of the most controversial and despised presidents in history. Maybe if Stone had spent more time getting the script in shape, “W.” might have been a better film. I think one of the reasons “W.” fails is because Stone rushed production so he could release it before the November 2008 election. Problem was, he should’ve released it in November of 2004 if he’d wanted to make an impact. I mean, didn’t anyone tell him that Bush wasn’t running? Seriously, what was the point of this ridiculous pop-psychology exercise of a film? The plot in a nutshell: W. has Daddy Issues. Stone should’ve called this turkey “W.: An Oedipus Wreck.” TV SERIES “Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!” Season 2 “Dragon Ball Z” Season Eight “Naruto” Uncut Box Set, Vol. 12 “Melrose Place” The Fifth Season Vol. 1 “Friday the 13th the Series” The Second Season “Simon and Simon” Season Two (c) 2009 King Features Synd., Inc.
Free Events
Bus Tour of the Golden Triangle Art/ Museum District - First Friday of every month free, 5 - 9 pm. Ballet Arts Theatre, 816 Acoma St, Denver 303-825-7570 www.pnfproductions.com Children’s Museum - Free admission first Tuesday evening of the month, 4 - 8pm 2121 Children’s Museum Drive www.cmdenver.org Colorado Railroad Museum - Check the web site for free days. www.crrm.org 17155 W. 44th Avenue, Golden 303-279-4591 CU In Broomfield World Music Series - Free concerts 2nd Wed of every month, 7pm Broomfield Auditorium, 3 Community Park Road, 303-469-3301 x7999 www.broomfield.org Denver Art Museum - First Sat of every month free to Colo residents, 10am - 5pm 100 West 14th Avenue Parkway www.denverartmuseum.org Denver Botanic Gardens - Free day: First Friday of each month, 9am - 5pm 1005 York Street, 720-865-3500 www.botanicgardens.org Denver Museum of Nature & Science - 2009 Free days: Wed Mar 18, Sun Apr 19, Sun May 31, Wed Jun 10, Mon Jul 13, Wed Aug 12, Sun Sep 13, Sun Oct 4, Mon Nov 2, Sun Nov 22. 2001 Colorado Boulevard, 303-322-7009 www. dmns.org Firehouse Tales For Tots- Denver Firefighters Museum 1356 Tremont Pl, (303) 892-1436. First Wednesday of each month 10:00 am - 10:30 am. Ages 2-6 Museum of Contemporary Art - First Saturday of every month - Admission: 1 penny 1275 19th St, Denver 303-298-7554 www.mcartdenver.org U.S. Mint - Free: Mon - Fri; 8am - 3pm; reservations encouraged 320 West Colfax Ave., 303-405-4761 www.usmint.gov
Sports
Colorado Avalanche - NHL Blue Jackets host Avalanche: Tue Feb 10, 5 pm Wild host Avalanche: Wed Feb 11, 6:00 pm Avalanche host Canadiens: Fri Feb 13, 7:00 pm Red Wings host Avalanche: Sun Feb 15, 3:00 pm Avalanche host Senators: Tue Feb 17, 7:30 pm Capitals host Avalanche: Fri Feb 20, 5:00 pm Hurricans host Avalanche: Sun Feb 22, 1:00 pm Thrashers host Avalanche: Tue Feb 24, 5:00 pm Devils host Avalanche: Thu Feb 26, 5:00 pm Rangers host Avalanche: Sat Feb 28, 5:00 pm Islanders host Avalanche: Mon Mar 2, 5:00 pm Avalanche hosts Red Wings: Wed Mar 4, 7:00pm Blackhawks host Avalanche: Sun Mar 8, 1:00 pm Avalanche hosts Thrashers: Tue Mar 10, 7:00 pm Avalanche hosts Wild: Thu Mar 12, 7:00 pm Oilers host Avalanche: Sat Mar 14, 8:00 pm Canucks host Avalanche: Sun Mar 15, 8:00 pm Denver Nuggets - NBA Miami hosts Nuggets: Tue Feb 10, 5:30 pm Orlando hosts Nuggets: Wed Feb 11, 5:00 pm Philadelphia hosts Nuggets: Wed Feb 18, 6 pm Chicago hosts Nuggets: Fri Feb 20, 6:30 pm Milwaukee hosts Nuggets: Sun Feb 22, 3:00 pm Nuggets host Boston: Mon Feb 23, 7:00 pm Nuggets host Atlanta: Wed Feb 25, 7:00 pm Nuggets host Lakers: Fri Feb 27, 7:00 pm Indiana hosts Nuggets: Sun Mar 1, 5:00 pm Detroit hosts Nuggets: Tue Mar 3, 5:30 pm Nuggets host Portland: Thu Mar 5, 8:30 pm Utah hosts Nuggets: Fri Mar 6, 8:30 pm Sacramento hosts Nuggets: Sun Mar 8, 7:00 pm Nuggets host Houston: Mon Mar 9, 7:00 pm Colorado Mammoth - Natl Lacrosse League Mammoth host Calgary: Sat Feb 14, 7:00 pm San Jose hosts Mammoth: Sat Feb 21, 7:30 pm Edmonton hosts Mammoth: Sun Feb 22, 6:00 pm San Jose hosts Mammoth: Sat Mar 14, 1:30 pm Colorado Rockies - Major League Baseball Spring Training Rockies host Arizona: Wed Feb 25, 1:10 pm Rockies host White Sox: Thu Feb 26, 1:10 pm Angels host Rockies: Fri Feb 27, 1:05 pm Rockies host Dodgers: Sat Feb 28, 1:10 pm Colorado Rapids - Major League Soccer Denver Outlaws - Major League Lacrosse Denver Broncos - National Football League
February 09, 2009
Tidbits® - Denver Metro Area
Page 5
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Events MicroChip Your Cat - FREE: September 2008 - September 2009 (as long as supplies last); Various veterinary hospitals and clinics across the metro area. 150,000 cats metrowide will receive free microchips! Visit www. ChipYourCat.com for details. FREE Nutrition Classes: Tuesdays January 6, 2009 - March 24, 2009; Brekshires at Lowry 6704-A E. Cedar Ave, Denver 10am - 11am or 6pm - 7pm. Free Personal Coaching, Free Nutritional Information. Learn how to eat and stay healthy with our fast-paced lifestyle. Get to meet new people and have fun. For more information and pre-registration, contact Vivian (303) 355-4770
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35th Annual Denver March PowWow: March 20 - March 22, 2009: The Denver Coliseum, - WEEK 07 Tuesday - Friday 10:00 am - 6:00 pm If you would like access to 1Q09 the over Denver. Doors open Friday - Sunday 10:00 am. A MAZE FEB 08 FEB 14 The Denver March Pow Wow Committee, on Saturday 10:00 am - MENT 5:00 pm 1.2 MILLION Tidbits - Denver Metro LAUGHS! behalf of the Denver Indian community, invites Sunday 1:00 pm - 5:00 pm Area Readers all dancers, singers, traders, spectators and Closed Monday and legal holidays 2009.07 A true story: April 12, 1945. Near powwow fans to their 25th annual powwow. CALL TODAYSenior ! Editor: Kara Kovalchik Harry Enjoy dancing, singing, crafts, artisans, the end of World War II, VP(303) Editorial Director: Sandy10890 Wood E Dartmouth Ave Ste D, Denver Truman was summoned to the White 688-1987 frybread and more. $7 per day or $18 for House. Once there, officials led him (between Havana and Parker) email: tidbitseditors@sbcglobal.net a three day pass. Seniors ages 60+ and to Eleanor Roosevelt’s private study. (303) 337-8181 Quips & Quotes children under 6 years of age are FREE! www. There, TrumanActing soon learned he is allwhy about honesty. If you can DenverMarchPowWow.org had been asked to drop everything LOOKING FOR
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RESULTS? 6th Annual Weekend of Jazz: March 26 -and rush to the president’s home. FDR’s wife came right to the point: — George Burns March 28, 2009: The Broadmoor, Colorado “Harry, the president is dead.” Talk low, talk slow, and don’t talk too Springs. Grammy Award winning guitarist, Don’t pay chain After a moment of stunned silence, much. Earl Klugh, annually invites jazz and music a contrite Truman inquired, “Is there prices for enthusiasts to a unique, luxurious getaway anything we can do for you?” — John Wayne at the Five Star, Five Diamond Broadmoor Tax Preparation! Acting theher most minor of gifts and not a Rooseveltismade Resort. Patti Austin, Spyro Gyra, Jesse, J, Again, Mrs. very high-class Families & Individuals stance clear. “Is there anything we way to earn a living. After Bob James, R ‘n’ R (Rick Braun and Richardcan do for you?” she replied. Small Business Tax Specialist all, Shirley Temple could do it at the age Elliot), and more. Tickets now on sale! www. “You’re the one in trouble now.” YOU’VE JUST 1040 - $68.95* of four. WeekendOfJazz.com FOUND THEM ! 1040A - $43.95* — Katharine Hepburn 1040EZ - $25.95* ADVERTISE IN
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Four capitals of U.S. Parker Country Festival: June 12, 2009 - states are named after June 14, 2009; Town of Parker, Main Street.former presidents. FREE Admission - Individual activies such as carnival rides will have costs. Carnival, 150 arts See if you can name and craft/Commercial vendors, kids’ activities, each of them, along two stages of free entertainment and a parade. with Friday 5:00 pm - 11:00 pm. Saturdy 9:00 am - the 11:00 pm. Sunday 9:00 am - 10:00 pm. www. matching states. ParkerOnLine.org
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INTRODUCING
3rd Annual RootsFest - Formerly Known as the Denver Folk and Roots Music Festival: March 28, 2009; Ellie Caulkins Opera House, 1477 Columbine St, Denver. $55 - $125. Saturday 6:00 pm. Headlining - Bluegrass QUIZ BITS legends Hot Rize, multi-Grammy winner singer/ by Kara Kovalchik & Sandy Wood songwriter Shawn Colvin, and acclaimed guitar virtuoso Leo Kottke. www.SwallowHillMusic.org
STEELFRAID This word means: the political party of George Washington & John Adams
NUGGET OF Call for an Your KNOWLEDGE Appointment custom Jimmy Carter Why and George painted buy new? H.W. Bush are the only two Give who her a living ex-presidents car. custom could run for the office. look The by Kara Kovalchik & Sandy Wood
22nd AmendmentTODAY limited
Jazz Aspen Snowmass Festival: June the number of terms a U.S. 18, 2009 - June 28, 2009; Snowmass Tidbits - Denver Metro Area president may serve to no Village Resort, Snowmass Colorado. Ticket more than two. Both is seeking motivatedWORD individuals Information to be announced. NEW VENUE! Carter and the elder POWER Show Times To Be Announced. Music, Food, QUIZ who Bush were defeated are self-managing and BITS ANSWER for reelection after Friends and Fun. www.SnowmassVillage.comANSWERS enjoy meeting new people. serving a single JACKSON, MS Coolest Car Show: July 4, 2009; 10:00 am term. CITY, MO positions available: Multiple - 4:00 pm. Downtown Estes Park, between JEFFERSON Speed’s Custom Refinish - (303) 916-5619 LINCOLN, NE MADISON, WI West Elkhorn Ave and Moraine Ave, Estes 4355 S. Parker Rd., Aurora, CO 80015 • S ALES (earn up to $100k +) Park Colorado. Ticket Information - $4 Adult, • DISTRIBUTION (Earn up to $20/hr) $2 children and students, FREE under 6 yrs old, OR BRING THE FAMILY FOR JUST $10! Seth Green . . . . . . . . . 2/8/74 Proceeds benefit the Estes Park Museum. The Qualified candidates for both positions QUOTE Joe Pesci . . . . . . . . . . 2/9/43 Coolest Car Show will feature over 100 vintage must have their own transportation. Mark Spitz . . . . . . . . . 2/10/50 “...There are advantages to being vehicles from the 1920s and beyond. Car show Sarah Palin . . . . . . . . 2/11/64 elected president. The day after I will take place in Bond Park and throughout Calls Please send a request for an THIS was No elected, I had my high- school Arsenio Hall. . . . . . . . 2/12/55 the Downtown area. Close up inspection of the WEEK’S application to: grades classified Top Secret.” Carol Lynley . . . . . . . 2/13/42 CELEBRITY cars is encouraged! Information and to register Info@TidbitsOfDenver.com ~ Ronald Reagan BIRTHDAYS Meg Tilly. . . . . . . . . . . 2/14/60 your car: www.EstesParkcvb.com NAMES THE PRESIDENTS
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Tidbits® - Denver Metro Area
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Prepare Your Taxes For Less – Yet Still Retain Quality Customer Service Typically in the tax industry, there are three standard models for tax preparation: Type One - The professional firm (accountants/ lawyers), catering to businesses and wealthy clients, and offering a variety of other services, such as payroll and bookkeeping. Tax preparation is usually billed on an hourly basis, which is the most expensive. There are situations where the use of such firms is prudent and necessary. Where needed, they should be used, but the vast majority of people and most small businesses can avoid paying such high fees. Type Two - The cookie-cutter chain operation, open a few months of the year with a significant percentage of their staff trained within the last few months. Tax preparation fees are usually based on the tax forms used. Preparation fees can be inflated by multiple fees associated with some forms as well as software generated worksheet charges. The high fees are slightly offset by a multitude of coupon offers but the savvy customer will realize that a $25 discount on a charge that is inflated by $75 is NOT a deal. Type Three - The one room office or home based tax preparation business. Prices may be lower but training and skills of such preparers vary widely. They typically disappear after tax season and may not be available to help
Dear Tidbits Readers: Tidbits - Denver Metro Area can now place your display or classified ad in over 300 papers across the country! Papers such as: American Classifieds; Penny Saver; Thrifty Nickel; and other Tidbit publications throughout the USA. There is no need to contact each paper individually to place an ad. PRIVATE PARTY ADS - start at $12.00 per week for the first 20 words and 35 cents for each additional word. B U S I N E S S / COMMERCIAL ADS - start at $18.00 per week for the first 20 words and 35 cents for each additional word. Email us at Classifieds@ TidbitsOfDenver.com or call us at (303) 688-1987 to place your ad today
you if the IRS has questions regarding the preparation of your tax return. Aurora Financial Services (AFS) is a hybrid of all three; offering tax preparation and other financial services on a year-round basis as do the professional firms, but in a familiar chain-type setting at prices often as low as the home-based businesses. Our lower prices are a result of lower overhead and the ability to generate income year-round from the non-tax related products we also offer. AFS doesn’t have to make all of the income needed to keep the doors open from a single product over just 4 months. For individual or small business tax preparation, AFS charges by the form however their form rates are much lower than those charged by the chain stores. These prices are also posted on their website, www.afsnodebt.com, where they can be viewed at any time and compared with their competition. AFS does a great job of keeping their tax preparation fees below 75% of what most chains charge. The average family will save money by using AFS. Anyone can offer low prices but Aurora Financial Services does it without sacrificing value to the customer. When they prepare your tax return, they will do their utmost in maximizing all legal deductions so as to increase your refund or lower your tax bill. Throughout the year, AFS personnel spend dozens of hours in training keeping those skills sharp and up to date. AFS also provides many other products and services and will help you and/or your small
Email Classifieds@TidbitsOfDenver.com EMPLOYMENT
EMPLOYMENT
Recruiting Coordinator (Englewood, CO) - 0900207 DIRECTV Home Services is currently seeking a Recruiting Coordinator to provide support to the Talent Acquisition Team and manage workflow associated with a variety of functions within the department at our Englewood headquarters. Responsibilities include, but are not limited to: Working on high-volume, multiple regional openings; prescreen candidates selected by the recruiter; collect, review & file candidate applications and log all pertinent FCC/EEO information Candidate must have at least one year of prior HR or recruiting experience and have a H/S diploma. Bachelor’s degree is preferred. Experience using an applicant tracking system required; Taleo preferred. Please reference “Newspaper” as your referral source. If you are not able to access our Web site, DIRECTV.com, please mail your resume and salary requirements to: DIRECTV Home Services, 6501 E. Belleview Ave, Ste 500, Englewood, CO 80111. Please also include the reference number for the position in which you are interested. EOE.
February 09, 2009
business. Have you maximized deductions? Taken advantage of medical expense and retirement plans? Need advice on starting a small business? Unsure of your allocations and/or diversifications in your 401(k) or other investments? Are you taking full advantage of depreciation opportunities in your rental property? Do you know how much you need to retire and have you developed a plan to get you there? Do you owe money to the IRS? Do you need assistance in filing annual or biannual FAFSA forms? AFS can help you! A good tax preparer should do more than collect the data and fill in the blanks, they should be able to look down the road and recognize both the traps and the opportunities that lower your tax bill this year and in future years. In these times, we all need a break so this tax season, why don’t you break out of the mold and give Aurora Financial Services the opportunity to save you money? Aurora Financial Services - working with tomorrow’s millionaires today! Visit AFS at their new location: 12203 E. Iliff Ave Unit S, at the NE corner of Iliff and Peoria. Walk-ins are welcome or call today for an appointment at 303-745-3962. Visit their web site – www.AFSNoDebt.com
Call (303) 688-1987
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ARKO GARAGE DOORS Residential & Commercial Repairs/Installation. FREE Estimates. 24 HR Service. NO Extra charge on weekends. FREE Tune-Up with Service call. Mention this ad 10% OFF. (303) 489-0751
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Tidbits® - Denver Metro Area
February 09, 2009
WEEKLY FUNNIES
By Samantha Weaver • It was noted American journalist, essayist, satirist and critic of culture H.L. Mencken who made the following sage observation: “Strike an average between what a woman thinks of her husband a month before she marries him and what she thinks of him a year afterward, and you will have the truth about him.” • It may seem odd, but the Drug Enforcement Agency supports, in a fashion, a publication that advocates the legalization of cannabis; the DEA has three subscriptions to the magazine High Times. • There was a time when cartoon character Fred Flintstone appeared in ads for Winston cigarettes. • In an anthropological study once conducted in Papua New Guinea, it was found that one in three adult deaths were the result of homicide. And it seems that those murdered were often targeted because they were suspected of practicing sorcery. • There seems to be quite a rivalry between the towns of Rosehill, N.C., and Wilmington, Del. Both locales claim to be the home of the world’s largest frying pan, with a diameter of 10 feet. This begs some questions, of course: How many eggs are being fried at once to require such a large piece of cookware? And what sort of stove is required to heat such a mammoth pan? • In today’s troubled economic times, you might not be surprised to learn that in his famed “Devil’s Dictionary,” Ambrose Bierce defined a corporation as “an ingenious device for obtaining individual profit without individual responsibility.” • According to estimates made by United Nations researchers, approximately 25 languages became extinct in 2008, meaning the last native speaker had passed away. (c) 2009 King Features Synd., Inc.
Thought for the Day: “Democracy consists of choosing your dictators, after they’ve told you what you think it is you want to hear.” -- Alan Corenk TRIVIA NEWSFRONT ANSWERS
1. 2. 3. 4. 5.
Republican Federalist Whig Democratic-Republican Democratic
The summer band class was just getting under way when a large insect flew into the room. The sixth-graders, eager to play their shiny new instruments, tried to ignore the buzzing intruder, but eventually one student, Tommy, could stand it no more. He rolled up his music book and swatted the insect, then he stomped on it to ensure its fate. “Was it a bee?” another student asked. “Nope,” Tommy replied. “Bee flat.” A mother and son were doing dishes while the father and daughter were watching TV in the living room. Suddenly, there was a loud crash of breaking plates, then complete silence. The daughter looked at her father and said “Mommy did it.” The father asked, “How do you know?” His daughter replied. “She didn’t say anything.”
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there is day care on the first floor. • Notice in a Field: The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free, but the bull charges. • Message on a Leaflet: If you cannot read, this leaflet will tell you how to get lessons. • On a Repair Shop Door: We can repair anything (Please knock hard on the door - the bell doesn’t work.) • In a Restroom in a London Office Building: Toilet out of order. Please use floor below.
Two boys were arguing over who’s father was the richest: First boy: My Father is so rich he’s going to buy the Pacific Ocean. We were standing in line outside a busy resSecond boy: If you don’t shut up, I’ll tell my taurant. The harried hostess was checking Father not to sell it. to find out how many people were in each group. “Party of two,” the woman behind Funny Signs Seen in England us said to her, “and could we please have • In a Laundromat: Automatic washing maMichelle?” Annoyed looks turned to knowchines. Please remove all your clothes ing smiles when she added, “Michelle is my when the light goes out. daughter, and just once in my life I want her • In a London Department Store: Bargain to wait on me!” Basement Upstairs My kindergarten-aged daughter sudden• In an Office: Would the person who took ly announced just before school that she the step ladder yesterday kindly bring it needed to take a clean tee shirt to class. back or further steps will be taken. She told us the teacher was going to iron an • In Another Office: After the tea break, staff anti-drug message on it. My wife frantically should empty the teapot and stand upside swept through my daughter’s room, finding down on the draining board. nothing usable but one tee shirt that already • On a Church Door: This is the gate of had something printed on one side. She Heaven. Enter ye all by this door. (This sent it off to school with my daughter. That door is kept locked because of the draft. afternoon, my daughter returned and hapPlease use side entrance.) pily showed off hershirt. On one side it said, • Outside a Second-hand Shop: We ex- “Families are Forever.” And on the other, “Be change anything - bicycles, washing ma- Smart, Don’t Start.” chines etc. Why not bring your wife and Little Johnny was one of those holy terget a wonderful bargain? rors. His dad was surprised when his wife • Quicksand Warning: Quicksand. Any per- suggested that they buy him a bike for his son passing this point will be drowned. By birthday. “Do you really believe that’ll help order of the District Council. improve his behavior?” he said. “Well, no,” • In a Dry Cleaner’s Window: Anyone leav- she admitted, “But it’ll spread it over a wider ing their garments here for more than 30 area.” days will be disposed of. • In a Health Food Shop Window: Closed due to illness. • In a Safari Park: Elephants Please Stay In Need a new Your Car. WANT TO RUN YOUR OWN BUSI NESS? Dog Of The Week best friend? • Seen During a Conference: For anyone Publish a Deuce - an 8-month-old Paper in Your Area If You Can Provide: Sales Experience · A Computer · who has children and doesn’t know it, neutered male collie mix.
WEEKLY ANSWERS
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Dumb Friends League 2080 South Quebec St. Call to adopt one of these or any of the other Denver, CO 80231 wonderful pets available (303) 751-5772 for $55 - $115. www.ddfl .org Information in the Tidbits Paper is gathered from sources considered to be ®
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The Tidbits® Paper is a Division of Tidbits Media, Inc. • Montgomery, AL 36106 (800) 523-3096 • E-mail: tidbits@tidbitsmedia.com • All Rights Reserved ©2005
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Laugh Lines! Things You’d Like to Say Out Loud at Work...
Tidbits® - Denver Metro Area I just don’t give a damn. • I’m already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth. • I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
• I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet it’s hard to pronounce.
• The fact that no one understands you doesn’t mean you’re an artist.
• How about never? Is never good for you?
• Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
• I see you’ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
• I’m not being rude. You’re just insignificant.
• I’m really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.
• And your crybaby, whiny opinion would be...?
• I’ll try being nicer if you’ll try being smarter.
• Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
• I don’t work here. I’m a consultant.
• If I throw a stick, will you leave?
• It sounds like English, but I can’t understand a darn word you’re saying. • Ahhh...I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again. • I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid. • You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers. • I have plenty of talent and vision.
• Do I look like a people person?
• I’m trying to imagine you with a personality. • A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door. • Can I trade this job for what’s behind door #1? • Chaos, panic, and disorder - my work here is done. • How do I set a laser printer to stun? • I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted a salary. • Oh I get it... like humor... but different.
February 09, 2009
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