Denver Metro Area February 23, 2009
Issue #1076
Published by Mountain View Publishing, LLC
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TIDBITS NAMES NAMES by Paige Lozier
This edition of Tidbits is about first names, last names, middle names, popular names, unusual names, and all things name-related! • T h r o u g h o u t Europe, the Americas, Australia, and New Zealand, the traditional pattern for identifying people is by use of a first name (sometimes called a Christian or given name) and a last name (a surname or family name.) The key distinction between the two is that the surname is passed down and shared among family members, while the first name is given to a person, usually by his parents. • Assigning a middle name to a child is a practice pretty much limited to the Western world. Even then, christening a baby with more than one given name wasn’t really a tradition until the early 1800s. The phrase “middle name” first appeared in a U.S. dictionary in 1835. After a while, it became something of a status symbol to list one’s first name, middle initial and then last name on business cards, letters, etc. • The word nickname evolved from the mispronunciation of the term “ekename.” Dictionaries back to the 14th century define ekename as an “additional” or “little” name. • From medieval times onward, one of the most common ways to coin a nickname was to drop the first syllable of a person’s formal first name. Thus, Andrew became Drew, Elizabeth became Beth, Alfred became Fred, and Rebecca became Becca.
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Page 2 TIDBITS NAMES NAMES (continued)
• Comedian Albert Brooks isn’t the only member of his family who changed his name. His father took a new last name to become radio comedian Harry Parke, and his brother is better known as comic stuntman “Super” Dave Osborne. The last name that appears on each of their birth certificates, however, is Einstein.
February 23, 2009
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• Many common Anglo-Saxon surnames We provide you are actually professions, which is how peace of mind common people were often identified during the Middle Ages. For example, a cooWe are YOUR per was a barrel Residential Property maker, a fletchManagement Specialists er was an ar• What’s the difference between having Award Winning Customer Service! row maker, a “Junior” or “II” after your name? TechniAla Carte Services depending on your needs tanner worked cally speaking, if you are given exactly the Renting? We’ll help you locate the perfect with leather, and same first and middle name as your father, home... FREE! a miller ground then you are a junior. If you have the same wheat into flour. Call Today! first and middle name as another relative We’ll let you Office: (303) 766--7620 (such as a grandfather or an uncle), and guess what Mr. Cell: (720) 320--7711 your father has a different name, then you Baker, Mr. Carvwould properly add the “II” suffix to the er, Mr. Weaver end of your name. And although women came the fill-in defendant. and Mr. Fisher tend to refrain from using it in this manner, used to do for a living. • Studies have shown that cats respond females having the same first and middle more readily to names that end in an “ee” • Per the 2000 Census, the three most names as their mothers are also classified sound (Frisky, Blackie, Smoky, Sparky, common U.S. surnames were identical to as “juniors.” and so on.) Most kittens will eventually those found in 1990: Smith is #1, followed • While it’s rarely done today, traditional learn their names no matter how unby Johnson and Williams. The changing etiquette dictates that numerical suffixes usual or exotic, but experts recommend face of the American population is readily (III, IV, etc.) evolve as the family grows that those who wish to adopt an adult cat apparent further down the list, however. In older. That is, when Aaron Bernard Cook, choose an “ee” name if they want him/her 1990, #8 was Wilson, followed by Moore Jr., passes away, Aaron Bernard Cook III to learn it quickly. at #9. Ten years later, those names were becomes Junior, and any other relatives knocked out of their slots by Garcia and • “Max” wasn’t among the 150 most popular also named “Aaron Bernard Cook” would Rodriguez. baby names according to the most recent move up in rank. This rule does not apply U.S. census, but the name is number one • In England as a whole, the three most comto popes or to members of royal families. in several pet categories. The most popumon last names are Jones, Williams, and • The title before a person’s name is called lar dog names are Max, Buddy, and Molly. Taylor. But limit the search to the Greater the “honorific.” Mister, Mistress, Miss, For cats, it’s Max, Tigger, and Tiger. The London area, and the top three slots are Doctor, Reverend, and Professor are exlist for birds reads Max, Sunny, and Budoccupied by Brown, Smith, and Patel. The amples of common American honorifics. dy. “Max love” is lost, however, on more latter name reflects the large number of unusual pets like lizards (Iggy, Leo and Indian families who have relocated to the • The use of “John Doe” as an anonymous Godzilla) and rodents (Buddy, Bandit and or nameless person originated in Engcapital. Thumper). land during the reign of King Henry VIII. • Until 2008, parents in Sweden had to reLandowners with vast parcels of acreage • In the past 30 years or so, it has become ceive approval from the national governoften had to go to court to evict squatters popular to give baby girls surname-like ment when selecting a legal name for from their property, and since they did not first names like McKenzie, MacKayla, and their new baby. Offensive words, culturknow the proper names of these illegal Addison. Parents should keep in mind, ally inappropriate terms, and some prodtenants, John Doe was coined to allow however, that the prefix Mc and Mac and uct names were considered taboo. When them to properly complete the necessary the suffix son all literally mean “son of.” So the law was finally repealed last year, two legal documents. Since every legal action little Madison’s name, for example, actudifferent families celebrated the decision required two witnesses, “Richard Roe” beally means “Son of Maude.” by naming their new bundles of joy Budweiser and Metallica, respectively. (Yes, really.) • The Screen Actors Guild forbids two members to join using the same name. When Michael Keaton first came to Hollywood, he was unable to use his real name. There was already an actor named Michael Douglas, as well as a talk show host who went by Mike Douglas. Annie Hall was a hit film at the time, so he borrowed the last name of lead actress Diane Keaton. Ever since, he’s had to field questions concerning his relation to Diane or silent film star ‘Buster’ Keaton.
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1. GEOGRAPHY: What U.S. state does the Kennebec River flow through?
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• On Feb. 26, 1919, the Grand Canyon national park is established. The chasm drops more than a mile into the earth, and is 15 miles across at its widest point. American geologist John Wesley Powell, who popularized the term “Grand Canyon” in the 1870s, became the first person to journey the entire length of the gorge in 1869.
2. FAMOUS QUOTATIONS: Who once said, “There’s no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you”? 3. MOVIES: In which movie was the following line uttered and by which character? “Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son.” 4. ANATOMY: What human gland produces growth hormones?
• On Feb. 27, 1936, Shirley Temple receives a new contract from 20th Century Fox that will pay the 7-yearold star $50,000 a film. Her famous blond ringlets appeared in more than 40 films, including “Bright Eyes,” “Curley Top,” “Wee Willie Winkie,” “Heidi” and “Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm.”
5. MUSIC: In musical notation, what does the direction “mezzo” mean? 6. GENERAL KNOWLEDGE: Of the seven deadly sins, which one is missing from this list - avarice, envy, gluttony, lust, sloth and wrath? 7. ENTERTAINERS: What was comedian Jackie Gleason’s famous parting line?
• On March 1, 1941, Nashville radio station W47NV begins transmitting. The station was the first in the country to receive a license for FM radio transmission. The station started its FM broadcast with a commercial for Nashville’s Standard Candy Company.
8. LANGUAGE: How would you describe someone who is “garrulous”? 9. TELEVISION: Cult favorite “Twin Peaks” was set and filmed in which U.S. state? 10. TRANSPORTATION: Where might you ride a “vaporetto”?
• On Feb. 25, 1964, 22-year-old Cassius Clay shocks the odds-makers by dethroning world heavyweight boxing champion Sonny Liston in a seventh-round technical knockout. Two days later, after meeting with Malcolm X, Clay announced he was joining the Nation of Islam. He later took the Muslim name of Muhammad Ali.
Answers 1. Maine 2. Will Rogers 3. “Animal House” (Dean Wormer) 4. Pituitary 5. Middle or moderate 6. Pride 7. “And away we go ...” 8. Talkative or chatty 9. Washington 10. Venice, Italy. A vaporetto is a motorboat used for transport in the canals.
• On Feb. 28, 1975, a subway crash in London kills 43 people. The driver of the train apparently made no effort to brake as the train headed toward a dead-end brick wall, leading some to speculate that the crash was a suicide. Following this disaster, the London Underground installed an automatic braking system in end-ofthe-line locations.
(c) 2009 King Features Synd., Inc.
• On Feb. 24, 1982, Wayne Gretzky scores his 77th goal, breaking a record held by Phil Esposito of 76 goals in a single season. When Gretzy retired in 1999 after 20 seasons in the NHL, he was widely considered the greatest player in the history of hockey.
Quips & Quotes Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind. — Dr. Seuss Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened. — Dr Seuss I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book. — Groucho Marx
• On Feb. 23, 1997, “Schindler’s List” is shown on NBC, the first network to broadcast a movie without commercial interruption. Ford Motor Company, which sponsored the broadcast, showed one commercial before and after the film. The blackand-white 1993 film won Steven Spielberg his first Academy Award as Best Director. (c) 2009 King Features Synd., Inc.
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PICK OF THE WEEK “What Just Happened?” -- It’s been more than a decade since director Barry Levinson and Robert De Niro teamed up for “Wag The Dog.” Now they’re back together for another black comedy; but instead of skewering politics, they’ve trained their satirical sites more close to home: Hollywood. “What Just Happened?” is a dark and comic look at the behind-the-scenes absurdity of the Hollywood system. De Niro plays a producer named Ben who is trying to save a disaster of a movie from its manic Cockney director (Michael Wincott) who not only wants to kill off the hero of the film (Sean Penn) but also his dog. Throw into the mix Bruce Willis (playing “himself”), who adamantly refuses to shave off his ridiculous beard for his next film role; Catherine Keener as an eccentric studio boss who issues directives whilst sitting on the toilet; and John Turturro as an agent who has a phobia of talking to his clients, and you’ve got a recipe for outstanding comic performances within a bitingly satirical film. . ALSO “Futurama: Into The Wild Green Yonder” -- This is the last of the four direct-to-DVD releases in the Futurama series, and from what I’ve read, the series finale of the show. The main plot revolves around a proposed “biggest miniature golf course in the universe” that will require the demolition of an entire arm of the Milky Way -- with the first hole on one of Pluto’s moons, a 6-billion-mile par 2. Professor Farnsworth is hired to do the environmental impact study, while Leela joins an eco-feminist group to protest the building of the course. Fry is on Mars doing some demolition work when a piece of women’s jewelry gets lodged in his brain, giving him the ability to read minds. The preserved head of Penn Jillette makes a cameo, as does Snoop Dogg; and Seth McFarlane of “Family Guy” sings the opening song. Special Features include: audio commentary from just about everyone, Docudramarama: “How We Make Futurama So Good,” How To Draw Futurama in 10 Very Difficult Steps, Zapp Brannigan’s Guide to Making Love at a Woman, and much much more. TV SERIES
“Breaking Bad” The Complete First Season “Girlfriends” The Sixth Season “Dirty Jobs” Collection 4 “Just Shoot Me” The Complete 3rd Season “The Universe” Collector’s Edition Megaset “My Wife and Kids” Season 1 “The Red Green Show” 2001 Season “The Best of the Flatt and Scruggs TV Show” Vol. 8 “Love Hina” Box Set “Cities of the Underworld” The Complete Season 2 (c) 2009 King Features Synd., Inc.
February 23, 2009
Free Events
Bus Tour of the Golden Triangle Art/ Museum District - First Friday of every month free, 5 - 9 pm. Ballet Arts Theatre, 816 Acoma St, Denver 303-825-7570 www.pnfproductions.com Children’s Museum - Free admission first Tuesday evening of the month, 4 - 8pm 2121 Children’s Museum Drive www.cmdenver.org Colorado Railroad Museum - Check the web site for free days. www.crrm.org 17155 W. 44th Avenue, Golden 303-279-4591 CU In Broomfield World Music Series - Free concerts 2nd Wed of every month, 7pm Broomfield Auditorium, 3 Community Park Road, 303-469-3301 x7999 www.broomfield.org Denver Art Museum - First Sat of every month free to Colo residents, 10am - 5pm 100 West 14th Avenue Parkway www.denverartmuseum.org Denver Botanic Gardens - Free day: First Friday of each month, 9am - 5pm 1005 York Street, 720-865-3500 www.botanicgardens.org Denver Museum of Nature & Science - 2009 Free days: Wed Mar 18, Sun Apr 19, Sun May 31, Wed Jun 10, Mon Jul 13, Wed Aug 12, Sun Sep 13, Sun Oct 4, Mon Nov 2, Sun Nov 22. 2001 Colorado Boulevard, 303-322-7009 www. dmns.org Firehouse Tales For Tots- Denver Firefighters Museum 1356 Tremont Pl, (303) 892-1436. First Wednesday of each month 10:00 am - 10:30 am. Ages 2-6 Museum of Contemporary Art - First Saturday of every month - Admission: 1 penny 1275 19th St, Denver 303-298-7554 www.mcartdenver.org U.S. Mint - Free: Mon - Fri; 8am - 3pm; reservations encouraged 320 West Colfax Ave., 303-405-4761 www.usmint.gov
Sports
Colorado Avalanche - NHL Thrashers host Avalanche: Tue Feb 24, 5:00 pm Devils host Avalanche: Thu Feb 26, 5:00 pm Rangers host Avalanche: Sat Feb 28, 5:00 pm Islanders host Avalanche: Mon Mar 2, 5:00 pm Avalanche hosts Red Wings: Wed Mar 4, 7:00pm Blackhawks host Avalanche: Sun Mar 8, 1:00 pm Avalanche hosts Thrashers: Tue Mar 10, 7:00 pm Avalanche hosts Wild: Thu Mar 12, 7:00 pm Oilers host Avalanche: Sat Mar 14, 8:00 pm Canucks host Avalanche: Sun Mar 15, 8:00 pm Wild host Avalanche: Tue Mar 17, 6:00 pm Avalanche hosts Oilers: Thu Mar 19, 7:00 pm Denver Nuggets - NBA Nuggets host Boston: Mon Feb 23, 7:00 pm Nuggets host Atlanta: Wed Feb 25, 7:00 pm Nuggets host Lakers: Fri Feb 27, 7:00 pm Indiana hosts Nuggets: Sun Mar 1, 5:00 pm Detroit hosts Nuggets: Tue Mar 3, 5:30 pm Nuggets host Portland: Thu Mar 5, 8:30 pm Utah hosts Nuggets: Fri Mar 6, 8:30 pm Sacramento hosts Nuggets: Sun Mar 8, 7:00 pm Nuggets host Houston: Mon Mar 9, 7:00 pm Nuggets host Oklahoma City: Wed Mar 11, 7pm Nuggets host LA Clippers: Sat MAr 14, 7:00 pm Nuggets host New Jersey: Mon Mar 16, 7:00 pm Memphis hosts Nuggets: Wed Mar 18, 6:00 pm Nuggets host Washington: Fri Mar 20, 7:00 pm Colorado Mammoth - Natl Lacrosse League San Jose hosts Mammoth: Sat Mar 14, 1:30 pm Calgary hosts Mammoth: Sat Mar 21, 7:30 pm Mammoth host Calgary: Sun Mar 22, 6:00 pm Colorado Rockies - Major League Baseball Spring Training Rockies host Arizona: Wed Feb 25, 1:10 pm Rockies host White Sox: Thu Feb 26, 1:10 pm Angels host Rockies: Fri Feb 27, 1:05 pm Rockies host Dodgers: Sat Feb 28, 1:10 pm Cleveland hosts Rockies: Sun Mar 1, 1:05 pm Rockies host Angels: Mon Mar 2, 1:10 pm Brewers host Rockies: Tue Mar 3, 1:05 pm Exhibition Game - Rockies Host Mexico: Thu Mar 5, 1:10 PM Tickets On Sale Now! www.Colorado.Rockies.mlb.com Colorado Rapids - Major League Soccer Denver Outlaws - Major League Lacrosse Denver Broncos - National Football League
February 23, 2009
Tidbits® - Denver Metro Area
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FREE Nutrition Classes: Tuesdays January 6, 2009 - March 24, 2009; Brekshires at Lowry 6704-A E. Cedar Ave, Denver 10am - 11am or 6pm - 7pm. Free Personal Coaching, Free Nutritional Information. Learn how to eat and stay healthy with our fast-paced lifestyle. Get to meet new people and have fun. For more information and pre-registration, contact Vivian (303) 355-4770 35th Annual Denver March PowWow: March 20 - March 22, 2009: The Denver Coliseum, Denver. Doors open Friday - Sunday 10:00 am. The Denver March Pow Wow Committee, on behalf of the Denver Indian community, invites all dancers, singers, traders, spectators and powwow fans to their 25th annual powwow. Enjoy dancing, singing, crafts, artisans, frybread and more. $7 per day or $18 for a three day pass. Seniors ages 60+ and children under 6 years of age are FREE! www. DenverMarchPowWow.org 6th Annual Weekend of Jazz: March 26 March 28, 2009: The Broadmoor, Colorado Springs. Grammy Award winning guitarist, Earl Klugh, annually invites jazz and music enthusiasts to a unique, luxurious getaway at the Five Star, Five Diamond Broadmoor Resort. Patti Austin, Spyro Gyra, Jesse, J, Bob James, R ‘n’ R (Rick Braun and Richard Elliot), and more. Tickets now on sale! www. WeekendOfJazz.com 3rd Annual RootsFest - Formerly Known as the Denver Folk and Roots Music Festival: March 28, 2009; Ellie Caulkins Opera House, 1477 Columbine St, Denver. $55 - $125. Saturday 6:00 pm. Headlining - Bluegrass legends Hot Rize, multi-Grammy winner singer/ songwriter Shawn Colvin, and acclaimed guitar virtuoso Leo Kottke. www.SwallowHillMusic.org Parker Country Festival: June 12, 2009 June 14, 2009; Town of Parker, Main Street. FREE Admission - Individual activies such as carnival rides will have costs. Carnival, 150 arts and craft/Commercial vendors, kids’ activities, two stages of free entertainment and a parade. Friday 5:00 pm - 11:00 pm. Saturdy 9:00 am 11:00 pm. Sunday 9:00 am - 10:00 pm. www. ParkerOnLine.org Jazz Aspen Snowmass Festival: June 18, 2009 - June 28, 2009; Snowmass Village Resort, Snowmass Colorado. Ticket Information to be announced. NEW VENUE! Show Times To Be Announced. Music, Food, Friends and Fun. www.SnowmassVillage.com Coolest Car Show: July 4, 2009; 10:00 am - 4:00 pm. Downtown Estes Park, between West Elkhorn Ave and Moraine Ave, Estes Park Colorado. Ticket Information - $4 Adult, $2 children and students, FREE under 6 yrs old, OR BRING THE FAMILY FOR JUST $10! Proceeds benefit the Estes Park Museum. The Coolest Car Show will feature over 100 vintage vehicles from the 1920s and beyond. Car show will take place in Bond Park and throughout the Downtown area. Close up inspection of the cars is encouraged! Information and to register your car: www.EstesParkcvb.com
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Don’t Miss Out On Your $8,000 Tax Credit!
$7,000 down on a Federal Housing Authority (FHA) loan, or qualify for a down payment assistance program which is available for some clients, and receive an $8,000 tax With the stroke of a pen right here in credit. Simply speaking, instead of getting a Denver, the New Home Buyer’s $8,000 tax $1,000 refund on their tax return, they can credit went into effect changing thousands receive $9,000. It’s like finding $8,000 in the pantry when they move into their new of people’s lives this past week. home!” You qualify for this tax credit if you are: Martin also continues regarding finding your • Single and make less than $75,000 dream home, “People are very busy these Modified Adjusted Gross Income days and the traditional way of finding a (MAGI) or a couple that makes less home is time consuming. Most clients find than $150,000 MAGI combined it convenient to shop on-line and the Home AND Buyers Scouting Report (HBSR) makes it • You have NOT owned a principle easy to view ALL the available listings that match their personal search criteria. They residence in the last three years If you qualify, based on the above criteria, get their own FREE password-protected and you purchase a home from now until website with on-line access 24 hours a day December 31, 2009, you may qualify for and also get Quick Alerts when properties a tax credit equal to 10% of the purchase come on the market that meet their criteria. price of your home; up to the full $8,000 tax I have people calling or emailing me all hours of the day excited that they found a credit with NO REPAYMENT. home in the HBSR that is perfect for them Mr. John R. Martin, an Associate of Brokers’ and right where they want to live. Having Guild-Cherry Creek LTD, explains, “I have been involved in over 200 transactions I been acquiring bank owned properties can negotiate a great price and guide them at discount prices for many satisfied through the whole process with minimum homeowners. There are hundreds of them impact on their daily lives.” in great shape and ready to move in to. When the rates started dropping through “This is a perfect system for folks who want the floor, these homes became even easier a home this month or in November when for my clients to afford. Now I can negotiate their lease is up.” Mr. Martin states. “Almost a $200,000 home for them - they can put anyone who qualifies to rent can qualify to
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own a home at less than they pay now in most cases and reap the tax benefits. It is also great for people who currently own a home and would just like to look for opportunities to move up in this perfect b u y e r s ’ climate. I explore ALL the options with regard to their current home including potential cash flow. Again, the traditional process is not always the best path and there could be some money making alternatives by thinking outside the box. If a client does want to list the property I give them the full service that they deserve and make sure their home stays in the spotlight.” Mr. John R. Martin can be reached for links to the tax info or to enroll in the free Home Buyers Scouting Report by emailing JRMartin86@msn.com or by calling 720.366.3532. “Helping people with home ownership and making dreams come true is what we do every day. I look forward to being of service to you.”
Call (303) 688-1987
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Tidbits® - Denver Metro Area
February 23, 2009
WEEKLY FUNNIES
By Samantha Weaver • According to the Crayola Company, you can eat 3,500 of its crayons a day and still not reach the level of toxicity found in an ordinary glass of drinking water. The company didn’t mention how -- or why -anyone would consume that many crayons in a lifetime, let alone a single day. • It was 19th-century British author Elizabeth Charles who made the following observation: “To know how to say what others only know how to think is what makes men poets or sages; and to dare to say what others only dare to think makes men martyrs or reformers -- or both.” • Good news for junk-food lovers: Beginning in 1996, the United States Department of Agriculture started putting frozen French fries in the “fresh vegetables” category. • Back in 1935, the owner of the Chicago Cubs baseball team predicted that night games were “just a fad.” He wasn’t much of a prognosticator, it seems. • Some people claim that rubbing the nose of any statue of Abraham Lincoln is good luck. It’s not really known why, though; some speculate that it’s because Lincoln’s children used to pull on his nose for luck. However, only one of his four children survived to adulthood, so it’s questionable whether his nose was ever lucky for anyone. • The ubiquitous summertime flip-flop sandals are known in Australia as “pluggers,” are called “slops” in South Africa and “slippers” in Hawaii, and New Zealanders call them “jandals.” • It’s been reported that on the morning of Friday, Nov. 22, 1963, an American psychic named Jean Dixon predicted, “Something dreadful is going to happen to the president today.” At 12:30 p.m. that day in Dallas, President Kennedy was assassinated. (c) 2009 King Features Synd., Inc.
Thought for the Day: “The prime purpose of eloquence is to keep other people from talking.” -- Louis Vermeil
Two bowling teams, one of all Blondes and one of all Brunettes, charter a doubledecker bus for a week-end gambling trip to Louisiana . The Brunette team rode on the bottom of the bus, and the Blonde team rode on the top level. The Brunette team down below really whooped it up, having a great time, when one of them realized she hadn’t heard anything from the Blondes upstairs. She decided to go up and investigate. When the Brunette reached the top, she found all the Blondes frozen in fear, staring straight ahead at the road, clutching the seats in front of them with white knuckles. The brunette asked, “What the heck’s going on up here? We’re having a great time downstairs!” One of the Blondes looked up at her, swallowed hard and whispered, “Yeah, but you’ve got a driver!” A high-school student came home from school seeming rather depressed. “What’s the matter, son,” asked his mother. “Aw gee,” said the boy. “It’s my marks. They’re all wet.” “What do you mean ‘all wet?’” “I mean,” he replied, “below C-level.” Man: How’s your history paper coming? Woman: Well, my history professor suggested that I use the Internet for research, and it’s been very helpful. Man: Really? Woman: Yes! I’ve already located 17 people who sell them!
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CHANGE A LIFE
Seeking adults to provide love, supervision, patience and attention for children 2 - 17 in your home.
Tax FREE Reimbursement, training and support - Call Sarah (303) 302-3263 Denver Area Youth Services
not for you. • The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was. • The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think. A student comes to a young professor’s office hours. She glances down the hall, closes his door, kneels pleadingly. “I would do anything to pass this exam.” She leans closer to him, flips back her hair, gazes meaningfully into his eyes. “I mean,” she whispers, “I would do...anything.” He returns her gaze. “Anything?” “Anything.” His voice softens. “Anything??” “Absolutely anything.” His voice turns to a whisper. “Would you...study?”
One day our professor was discussing a particularly complicated concept. A pre-med student rudely interrupted to ask, “Why do we have to learn this pointless information?” It had been snowing for hours when an “To save lives,” the professor responded announcement came over the intercom: “Will quickly and continued the lecture. A few the students who are parked on University minutes later, the same student spoke up Drive please move their cars so that we may again. “So how does physics save lives?” being plowing.” Twenty minutes later there he persisted. “It keeps the ignoramuses like was another announcement: “Will the nine you out of medical school,” replied the prohundred students who went to move four- fessor. teen cars return to class.” There was this 90 year old man named Thoughts to Ponder • Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die. • Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won’t bother you for weeks. • Some people are like a Slinky.....not really good for anything, but you still can’t help but smile when you shove them down the stairs. • Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. • All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism. • Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents? • If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is
WEEKLY ANSWERS
Jim who went to his doctor’s office and said, “Doc, I feel great!! I go to the gym every day, eat healthy, and I even got my new lady friend pregnant!” Well the doctor looked at him and said, “Have I ever told you the story of the old man who went hunting? Well, just as he was leaving, he grabbed his umbrella instead of his gun. When he was in the woods he saw a fox and shot at it with his ‘gun’, and it fell down dead.” “Well, that’s impossible!” Jim said. “Someone else must have shot it!” “Exactly,” the doctor replied.
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Page 8
Laugh Lines!
A.D.D.D.D. - Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder
A.D.D.D.D. manifestations:
Tidbits® - Denver Metro Area cold. • As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye - they need water. • I put the Coke on the counter and discover my reading glasses that I’ve been searching for all morning.
• I decide to water my garden. As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.
• I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I’m going to water the flowers.
• As I start toward the garage, I notice mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mail box earlier, so I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.
• I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote. Someone left it on the kitchen table.
• I lay my car keys on the table, put the junk mail in the trash can under the table, and notice that the can is full. • So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the garbage. • But then I think, since I’m going to be near the mailbox when I take out the garbage anyway, I may as well pay the bills first. • I take my check book off the table, and see that there is only 1 check left. • Extra checks are in my desk in the study. I go inside to my desk and find the can of Coke I’d been drinking. • The Coke is getting warm, and I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it
• I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I’ll be looking for the remote, but I won’t remember that it’s on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I’ll water the flowers. • I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor. • So, I set the remote back on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill. • Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do. • At the end of the day: The car isn’t washed - The bills aren’t paid - There is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter - The flowers don’t have enough water - There is still only 1 check in my check book - I can’t find the remote - I can’t find my glasses, - And I don’t remember what I did with the car keys.
February 23, 2009
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Don’t Miss Out On Your $8000 Tax Credit With Prices And Interest Rates This Low, This is A Once In A Life Time Chance To Own Your First Home • 100’s of bank-owned homes now available at unbelievable money. prices. I know where they are and will show you how to find • If you qualify to rent, chances are you qualify to purchase a them. with the Home Buyers Scouting Report! home for less than you pay now! Find out in less than thirty • You want to be sure the price is fair, I know the market and minutes. will advise you at no out of pocket expense to you. • I will always be available to you if you want information or advice. I’m never more than a “click” or a phone call away • You want the best terms you can get. I have the experience of over 200 transactions to aggressively represent you. from giving you the full service you deserve from an experi• New home builders are also making deals and I’m not afraid enced real estate agent. to ask for deep discounts for my qualified buyers. • First time home buyers can get up to $8000 tax credit - with • You have a home to sell? First explore all the options. There no repayment. Own your first home today. Email me for the is more than one approach that could make you some real link giving you all the info you need!
“Own your first home PLUS receive an $8,000 check in the mail from the IRS.”
John R. Martin - Associate of Brokers Guild Cherry Creek LTD - 720.366.3532 - JRMartin86@msn.com