Denver Metro Area April 13, 2009
Issue #1083
Published by Mountain View Publishing, LLC
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HEY TIDBITS® READERS, IT IS
EASY TO BE GREEN! by Sarah Bates
Tidbits readers have asked and we’ve answered. In honor of both Earth Day, April 22nd, and Arbor Day, April 24th, we’re happy to give you all the Tidbits you’ll need on going green! • You’ve probably heard this one: switch to compact fluorescent light bulbs the next time you need to replace a light bulb. But, how about some actual numbers? Compact fluorescents use about 75% less energy and produce about 75% less heat than incandescent bulbs.
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• Remember that unused appliances still use electricity. Unplug them whenever possible. • If you can, buy it in paper packaging over plastic and look for brands that use recycled paper. Paper packaging can be used in your compost pile, the plastic can’t! turn the page for more!
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Tidbits® - Denver Metro Area
Page 2 EASY TO BE GREEN! (continued) • If you have to get plastic products, make sure they are recyclable. There are many different types of recyclable plastics, all designated by numbers on the packaging. Find out which types your local recycling center can process and try to purchase only those kinds. • Did you know a treadmill gives off approximately two pounds of carbon-dioxide in a thirty to sixty minute workout? • Replace that treadmill or stationary bike with the great outdoors. Walking or riding in the park saves energy and gym fees – what’s more, it’s a breath of fresh air! • Take that workout even greener – buying a used bike, sneakers made with recycled rubber, reusable water bottles and organic cotton work out clothes are a start! • Think about what you want before you open the refrigerator door. Studies show that opening the door and standing with it open accounts for 17% of the refrigerator’s total electricity use each year. • Want more of a reason to recycle? Try the Great Pacific Garbage Patch on for size, a swirling mass of garbage in the Pacific ocean made up of two smaller halves, the eastern lies between California and Hawaii and the western lies between Hawaii and Japan. • It is not a solid mass, but more like a plastic soup – which makes it hard to gauge the exact size. It is estimated to weigh nearly 100 million tons and cover an area nearly twice the size of the continental United States. • Here’s another way to keep your plastic out of the landfills and the oceans: take reusable shopping bags to the grocery store and skip the plastic bags. • Sixty-eight pounds of clothing and textiles are thrown out per person each year in America alone. Donate those old clothes to GoodWill or The Salvation Army. • The United Nations’ Environment Program estimates that 46,000 pieces of plastic were in each square mile of our oceans in 2006 alone. • Plastic debris kills more than 100,000 marine animals each year. • In 2005, two million tons of plastic water
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bottles ended up in landfills. • Speaking of water, studies show that often times tap water is more highly regulated than bottled water, as it must pass municipal water system testing for harmful content in the water. The National Resources Defense Council found that approximately 25% of bottled water is really just tap water. • Twenty million tons of electronic wastes are thrown out each year! • Recycle your old electronics! Electronic devices may contain toxic materials. Keep them as long as possible and recycle them when you’re done. • Fourteen million Americans use public transportation daily. 855 million gallons of gas are saved each year by choosing public transportation. • Have to have a car? While buying a Hybrid is a step in the right direction, consider buying used first. You will save the energy it would take a company to manufacture a brand new car and there are already some great cars out there that get that desired 35 mpg. • Buying fresh food from your local farmer’s market saves packaging, processing and shipping waste – it also keeps money in the local economy! • Take the extra time to search out green and organic products when shopping. Chances are if you want it, someone makes it organic and green – even fingernail polish! • 1.5 acres of rainforest are lost every second. • Finished with that book or DVD? Join an online swapping club. Websites such as paperbackswap.com and its sister sites offer a free way to trade your old books, DVDs and CDs and find that new one you had been wanting to get – for free! • Start your own compost pile for your used paper, coffee grinds, eggshells, yard trimmings and table scraps.
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• Research shows that if every American composted just their kitchen scraps, we could keep a knee-deep layer of garbage the size of San Francisco out of the landfills each year. • It takes approximately one gallon of water for the average person to wash their hands and five gallons to flush the toilet. • Make a chart for each member of your house and calculate the amount of water you use in one week. Reduce this number by taking shorter showers, always loading the dishwasher full and wearing outfits more than once before washing. • Humans have been cleaning way before the invention of pretty, packaged plastic bottles. Tub need cleaning? Spray the surface with diluted vinegar or lemon juice and let it sit for thirty minutes. Scrub clean! • Using green and organic health care products not only keeps harsh chemicals out of the drains and landfills, but it keeps it out of your body! Studies show that men and women can absorb up to five pounds of chemicals from cosmetics, lotions, creams and other products into their skin each year!
April 13, 2009
Tidbits® - Denver Metro Area
1. LANGUAGE: What does the word “plumose” mean?
Page 3
• On April 17, 1790, American statesman, printer, scientist and writer Benjamin Franklin dies in Philadelphia at age 84. Besides writing and publishing “Poor Richard’s Almanack,” Franklin invented the Franklin stove, bifocal eyeglasses and the lightning rod.
2. GEOGRAPHY: In what body of water can the island of Mykonos be found? 3. ACRONYMS: What does the acronym CAD stand for? 4. GENERAL KNOWLEDGE: What is a shillelagh used for? 5. POLITICS: What was the emblem of the Progressive Party of 1912?
• On April 19, 1897, the first Boston Marathon is run. It was held on April 19, Patriots’ Day, a holiday celebrated in honor of the start of the Revolutionary War. In 1969, Patriots’ Day was officially moved to the third Monday of April, and the Boston Marathon has been run on that day ever since.
6. ANATOMY: Where is the skin the thinnest on the human body? 7. ACADEMIA: What does a vexillologist study? 8. MOVIES: What film features the line: “If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball”?
• On April 18, 1906, an earthquake estimated at close to 8.0 on the Richter scale strikes San Francisco. The quake was caused by a slip of the San Andreas Fault over a segment about 275 miles long. It was estimated that some 3,000 people died as a result of the Great San Francisco Earthquake and the subsequent fires it inflicted upon the city.
9. TELEVISION: What was the name of the town that was the setting for “Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman”? 10. GAMES: How many playing pieces do you have to remove in the game “Operation”? Answers 1. Feathered or feathery 2. Aegean Sea 3. Computer-aided design 4. Irish in origin, it is a cudgel that can be used as walking stick or a weapon 5. Bull Moose 6. Eyelids 7. Flags 8. “Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story” 9. Fernwood, Ohio 10. Twelve
• On April 16, 1926, the first Bookof-the-Month Club selection is distributed. The selection, “Lolly Willows, or, The Loving Huntsman” by Sylvia Townsend Warner, went to nearly 5,000 members who had joined the club, which was established in New York City. • On April 15, 1947, Jackie Robinson, age 28, becomes the first black player in Major League Baseball when he steps onto Ebbets Field in Brooklyn, N.Y., to compete for the Brooklyn Dodgers. Robinson broke the color barrier in a sport that had been segregated for more than 50 years.
(c) 2009 King Features Synd., Inc.
• On April 14, 1956, the first videotape recorder is demonstrated. The machine, invented by Ray Dolby, Charles Ginsberg and Charles Anderson, recorded both images and sound. CBS purchased three of the video tape recorders for $75,000 each.
Quips & Quotes The hand that rocks the cradle usually is attached to someone who isn’t getting enough sleep. — John Fiebig If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands? — Milton Berle Do you know what White House correspondents call actors who pose as reporters? Anchors. — Jay Leno
• On April 13, 1997, in Augusta, Ga., 21-year-old Tiger Woods wins the prestigious Masters Tournament by a record 12 strokes. It was Woods’ first victory in one of golf’s four major championships and the greatest performance by a professional golfer in more than a century.
(c) 2009 King Features Synd., Inc.
Tidbits® - Denver Metro Area
Page 4
WeddingBits
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You’ve decided a traditional wedding ceremony is for you, but you don’t want it to look like everyone else’s. The good news is that you can incorporate all the time-honored traditions you’ve probably loved since you were little, and still make your celebration unique and meaningful. After all, this is YOUR wedding. A little bit of advance planning will go a long way toward making your day stand out as memorable for you and your guests. Several months before your wedding, sit down with your fi ancé to talk about what’s important to the two of you in a ceremony. Do you want both sets of parents to participate? Do you want just your father or another important male in your life to give you away, or do you want both parents to walk you down the aisle? How many attendants do you want: a whole entourage or just Best Man and Maid/ Matron of Honor? Talk about any signifi cant religious or ethnic traditions you may wish to incorporate and how you would like to do so. Next, discuss your decisions with your chosen offi ciant. Make it clear exactly how you envision the ceremony will go, and make sure he or she understands how important each detail is to you. Negotiate any points with which your offi ciant is uncomfortable, so that you can come up with a satisfactory solution. When coming up with ideas to make your ceremony special, think of new takes on old traditions. For example, instead of walking down the aisle with a pre-assembled bouquet, give a fl ower to several special attendees prior to the ceremony and “collect” them into a bouquet as you walk down the aisle. If you’re planning to light a Unity candle with your groom, give each guest a candle to light from yours as they exit — you might also provide candlesticks at each table as wedding favors. How about mailing guests a scrapbook page to personalize for you in advance, along with their signing a guestbook? These are little things that will have so much meaning for you and your new husband years down the road, and they’ll insure your guests feel that much more welcome and involved in the wedding. Sometimes even the most traditional weddings will seem unique to your guests if they’re not used to your culture. In traditional Jewish ceremonies, for example, the bride circles the groom seven times and the rabbi presents the “ketubah” (a Jewish wedding contract) as proof of the marriage vows during the ceremony. In some African ceremonies, a priest will typically sip a cup of palm wine before offering it to the groom, who will then hide in the crowd and wait for the bride to fi nd him before she can take her sip. If your wedding traditions are outside of the norm for most of your guests, you may wish to provide a program that explains each tradition and why it’s done. Guests will appreciate your thoughtfulness and connect with you and your ceremony even more if you do this. A fi nal note about customizing traditions: if you’re going to involve your guests or attendants in a non-traditional aspect of the ceremony, be sure to let them know in advance and get their approval. Receptions can be spontaneous and fun, but traditionally ceremonies are more scripted and not the best places to spring surprises!
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Tidbits® - Denver Metro Area
Page 5
Heirlooms To Place Your Event in this calendar please e-mail Info@TidbitsOfDenver.com
Events
MicroChip Your Cat - FREE: September 2008 - September 2009 (as long as supplies last); Various veterinary hospitals and clinics across the metro area. 150,000 cats metro-wide will receive free microchips! Visit www.ChipYourCat.com for details. Cinco de Mayo Celebrate Culture Festival - May 9, 2009 - May 10, 2009, Saturday and Sunday 10:00 am - 8:00 pm, Civic Center Park, Denver. FREE. Spice up your weekend and head to Civic Center Park for the largest Cinco de Mayo celebration in the United States! Mexican culture fills the park with arts and crafts , strolling Mariachi bands, colorfully costumed Aztec dancers, several stages featuring traditional and contemporary Latino entertainment and a variety of Mexican culinary delights! www. CincoDeMayoDenver.com Bikers Against Diabetes: May 17, 2009; Fraternal Order of Eagles, 1151 S Galena St, Denver. $20 Single/$10 Passenger (includes Lunch) Benefits Children’s Hospital Diabetes Research. www.EagleRiders3224.com or call (303) 695-0673. Fuel-Fest: June 12, 2009, - June 14, 2009, May Farms, Byers. A bold new Western festival that merges astonishing music and family entertainment with an extraordinary marketplace of clean technologies and educational workshops. A grand new event showcasing Colorado’s national leadership in shaping a new energy future. Presented by May Farms in partnership with: The US Department of Energy’s National Renewable Energy Laboratory, Colorado Governor’s Energy Office and the Colorado Department of Agriculture. Music, workshops, market place and expo, handson interactive educational activities for kids - such as kite flying - as well as a healthy mix of barnyard fun - hayrides and a petting zoo. For More information - www.Fuel-Fest. org. Parker Country Festival: June 12, 2009 - June 14, 2009; Town of Parker, Main Street. FREE Admission - Individual activies such as carnival rides will have costs. Carnival, 150 arts and craft/ Commercial vendors, kids’ activities, two stages of free entertainment and a parade. Friday 5:00 pm - 11:00 pm. Saturdy 9:00 am - 11:00 pm. Sunday 9:00 am - 10:00 pm. www.ParkerOnLine.org Jazz Aspen Snowmass Festival: June 18, 2009 - June 28, 2009; Snowmass Village Resort, Snowmass Colorado. Ticket Information to be announced. NEW VENUE! Show Times To Be Announced. Music, Food, Friends and Fun. The festival will showcase multiple performances featuring this year’s brilliant group of JAS Academy artists at a variety of clubs. www. SnowmassVillage.com Coolest Car Show: July 4, 2009; 10:00 am - 4:00 pm. Downtown Estes Park, between West Elkhorn Ave and Moraine Ave, Estes Park Colorado. Ticket Information - $4 Adult, $2 children and students, FREE under 6 yrs old, OR BRING THE FAMILY FOR JUST $10! Proceeds benefit the Estes Park Museum. The Coolest Car Show will feature over 100 vintage vehicles from the 1920s and beyond. Car show will take place in Bond Park and throughout the Downtown area. Close up inspection of the cars is encouraged! Information and to register your car: www.EstesParkcvb.com
Mall
Free Events
Bus Tour of the Golden Triangle Art/ Museum District - First Friday of every month free, 5 - 9 pm. Ballet Arts Theatre, 816 Acoma St, Denver 303-825-7570 www.pnfproductions. com Children’s Museum - Free admission first Tuesday evening of the month, 4 - 8pm 2121 Children’s Museum Drive www.cmdenver.org Colorado Railroad Museum - Check the web site for free days. www.crrm.org 17155 W. 44th Avenue, Golden 303-279-4591 CU In Broomfield World Music Series Free concerts 2nd Wed of every month, 7pm Broomfield Auditorium, 3 Community Park Rd, 303-469-3301 x7999 www.broomfield.org Denver Art Museum - First Sat of every month free to CO residents, 10am-5pm 100 West 14th Avenue Parkway www.denverartmuseum.org Denver Botanic Gardens - Free day: First Friday of each month, 9am-5pm 1005 York St, 720-865-3500 www.botanicgardens.org Denver Museum of Nature & Science - 2009 Free days: Sun Apr 19, Sun May 31, Wed Jun 10, Mon Jul 13, Wed Aug 12, Sun Sep 13, Sun Oct 4, Mon Nov 2, Sun Nov 22. 2001 Colorado Boulevard, 303-322-7009 www.dmns.org Firehouse Tales For Tots- Denver Firefighters Museum 1356 Tremont Pl, (303) 892-1436. First Wednesday of each month 10:00 am 10:30 am. Ages 2-6 Museum of Contemporary Art - First Saturday of every month - Admission: 1 penny 1275 19th St, Denver 303-298-7554 www. mcartdenver.org U.S. Mint - Free: Mon - Fri; 8am - 3pm; reservations encouraged 320 West Colfax Ave., 303-405-4761 www.usmint.gov
Sports
Denver Nuggets - NBA Nuggets host Sacramento: Mon Apr 13, 7 pm Portland hosts Nuggets: Wed Apr 15, 8:30 pm Colorado Mammoth - Natl Lacrosse League Mammoth host Edmonton: Fri Apr 17, 7:00 pm Colorado Rockies - Major League Baseball Chicago hosts Rockies: Mon Apr 13, 12:20 pm and Wed Apr 15, 12:20 pm Los Angeles hosts Rockies: Fri Apr 17, 8:10 pm, Sat Apr 18, 1:40 pm, and Sun Apr 19 2:10 pm Arizona hosts Rockies: Mon Apr 20, 7:40 pm, Tue Apr 21, 7:40 pm, and Mon Apr 22, 1:40 pm Rockies host Los Angeles: Fri Apr 24, 7:10 pm, Sat Apr 25, 6:10 pm, and Sun Apr 26, 1:10 pm Rockies host San Diego; Mon Apr 27, 6:40 pm, Tue Apr 28, 6:40 pm, and Wed Apr 29, 1:10 pm San Francisco hosts Rockies: Fri May 1, 8:15 pm, Sat May 2, 2:05 pm, Sun May 3, 2:05 pm San Diego hosts Rockies: Mon May 4, 8:05 pm, Tue May 5, 8:05 pm Rockies host San Francisco: Wed May 6, 6:40 pm, Thu May 7, 1:10 pm Rockies host Florida: Fri May 8, 7:10 pm, Sat May 9, 6:10 pm, Sun May 10, 1:10 pm Rockies host Houston: Tue May 12, 6:40 pm, Wed May 13, 6:40 pm, Thu May 14, 1:10 pm Pittsburgh hosts Rockies: Fri May 15, 5:05 pm, Sat May 16, 5:05 pm, Sun May 17, 11:35 am Colorado Rapids - Major League Soccer Houston hosts Rapids: Sun Apr 19, 1:00 pm Rapids host Los Angeles: Sat Apr 25, 7:00 pm Rapids host Salt Lake: Sat May 2, 7:30 pm N. England hosts Rapids: Sat May 16, 5:30 pm Rapids host Seatlle: Sat May 23, 7:30 pm New York hosts Rapids: Sat May 30, 5:30 pm Denver Outlaws - Major League Lacrosse Outlaws host Chicago; Sat May 16, 7:00 pm Boston hosts Outlaws; Fri May 22, 5:30 pm Outlaws host Waashington; Sat May 30, 7pm Colorado Avalanche - NHL
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Tidbits® - Denver Metro Area
Page 6
The Number One Safety Device In Your Car
The number one safety device in your car is not your airbags. No, it’s not your seatbelt either. Roll bar? Wrong again. So what is this wonderful contraption that keeps us safe? It’s the humble windshield. Yes, it’s true! Your windshield not only keeps the weather and road debris from striking you while driving, but it is an integral part in your passenger side airbags and is responsible for up to 60% of your roof crush protection! Your windshield can keep you alive in a rollover accident. Roll over accidents account for 9% of all vehicular accidents on the road today. And not only does your windshield help hold the roof over your head, it helps keep you inside your car – and passengers are 25 times more likely to escape injury when they are secure in the car. However, in order to keep you safe and secure, your windshield needs to be in good repair and, if replaced, have been installed properly with good quality Original Equipment Manufacturer (OEM) glass. Quinn Collier, owner of Insight Autoglass states, “OEM windshields are created differently than aftermarket ones (aftermarket parts are ones that are sold to replace the original parts of a vehicle). OEM auto glass standards require 100 percent windshield retention in frontal barrier crash tests. Some aftermarket parts to not match the tolerance, thickness, and
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shape of OEM auto glass parts; therefore they can have a higher rate of leakage, wind noise, imperfect fit, solar performance, and optical distortion.” Insight Autoglass uses only OEM glass and is a member of the National Glass Association. Only OEM glass can insure proper fit and finish which greatly reduces the possibility of air or water leaks. Most importantly, only OEM glass is designed specifically to meet the safety standards necessary for your protection in an accident. According to Mr. Collier, “You should always use OEM glass to insure your safety. If you are making an insurance claim to pay for your windshield replacement, you are most likely entitled to OEM glass. You’ve paid for it in your policy.” “Proper installation of a windshield involves more than 20 steps and can take anywhere from 40 minutes to more than three hours,” says Mr. Collier. “There are proper techniques and federal regulations governing auto glass installation; therefore, it is imperative that when you need your windshield to be repaired or replaced, you find a professional repair center that is dedicated to upholding the highest standards in the auto glass industry.” Insight Autoglass cares about your safety and will educate and instruct you on the safety measures it takes to ensure your autoglass is installed in accordance with state and federal regulations.
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There are four elements of a quality windshield replacement. A professional technician, the right glass, the right adhesive and a warranty. Reputable auto glass shops, such as Insight Autoglass, will always stand behind their work. Always ensure the technician who worked on your vehicle clearly defines the “safe drive-away time.” A windshield is secured into a vehicle with sophisticated adhesive systems. “Safe drive-away times” may vary depending on the adhesive system used and the manufacturer’s recommended curing or drying time. This information should be communicated by the technician to the car owner. Although it may be safe to drive your car within a few hours, it could take 24 hours or more to fully cure. As an added convenience to its customers, you can leave your car at home, or at work, and Insight Autoglass will come to YOU to replace your windshield. So if you have more than a 2 inch “ding” or chip in your windshield, consider the safety aspects and call Insight Autoglass for your quality OEM replacement today! (720) 870-4282.
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Tidbits® - Denver Metro Area
April 13, 2009
WEEKLY FUNNIES
By Samantha Weaver
• It was 20th-century Indian writer and philosopher Jiddu Krishnamurti who made the following sage observation: “It is no measure of health to be well-adjusted to a profoundly sick society.” • While the largest animal on the planet is nursing, the baby blue whale puts on an average of 200 pounds every day. • Chocolate lovers like myself may not believe it, but the most popular flavor of ice cream in the United States is actually vanilla. Chocolate comes in second place. • The Great Wall of China is the longest continuous construction project in the history of the world, taking 1,700 years to complete. • In Washington state, it was once illegal to carry a concealed weapon that was more than 6 feet in length. • Doubtless you’re familiar with the phrase “let the cat out of the bag,” but did you ever wonder where such an odd turn of phrase came from? It seems that at one time when people bought small livestock, particularly young pigs, the animals were often carried in cloth sacks. It was a not-uncommon practice for unscrupulous salesmen to cheat the purchaser by stuffing a live cat into the sack instead of the promised pig. To “let the cat out of the bag” was to give away the dishonest scheme. • You might be surprised to learn that famed lover and heartbreaker Casanova eventually became a librarian. • Caesar’s Palace in Las Vegas provides 8,000 parking spaces for its guests. And hopefully extensive maps so they can find where they parked. (c) 2009 King Features Synd., Inc.
Thought for the Day: “Gold in its native state is but dull, unornamental stuff, and only lowborn metals excite the admiration of the ignorant with an ostentatious glitter. However, like the rest of the world, I still go on underrating men of gold and glorifying men of mica.” -- Mark Twain
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HANGE IFE Sarah and Dick were having dinner with Seeking adults to provide love, a couple with whom they’d lost touch when supervision, patience and attention they moved to another city many years earfor children 2 - 17 in your home. lier.Over the meal, the couples took turns catching up. “And soon after we were marTax FREE Reimbursement, ried,” Sarah began, “we were blessed with training and support - Call a marvelous, chubby creature with cute Sarah (303) 302-3263 bow legs and no teeth.”“You had a baby?” Denver Area Youth Services said the other wife.“Nope,” Dick broke in, boat will bring, you can buy a second one “Sarah’s mother came to live with us.” One evening at dinner, I mentioned an ar- and a third one and so on until you have ticle I’d read in which an actor complained an entire fleet of trawlers. Instead of selling about remaining celibate for months while your fish to a middle man, you can then neshooting in a remote location. Our ten- gotiate directly with the processing plants year-old son asked what celibate meant, and maybe even open your own plant. You and we explained as best as we could.After can then leave this little village and move thinking for a minute he said, “I don’t know to Mexico City, Los Angeles or even New what’s so difficult about that. I’ve been celi- York City! From there you can direct your huge new enterprise.” “How long would bate for ten years.” that take?” asked the Mexican.“Twenty, Jason showed his buddy the beautiful di- perhaps twenty-five years,” replied the amond ring he bought his wife for her birth- American.“And after that?” “Afterwards? day. “I thought she wanted a four-wheel ve- Well my Friend, That’s when it gets rehicle,” ventured his friend.“She did,” Jason ally interesting,” answered the American, said. “But where am I going to find a fake laughing. “When you business gets really jeep?” big, you can start selling stocks and make A 5th grade teacher posed the following millions!” “Millions? Really? And after that?” problem to one of her arithmetic classes: said the Mexican. “After that you’ll be able “A wealthy man dies and leaves ten million to retire, live in a tiny village near the coast, dollars. One-fifth is to go to his wife, one- sleep late, play with your children, catch a fifth is to go to his son, one-sixth to his but- few fish, take a siesta with your wife and ler, and the rest to charity. Now, what does spend your evenings doing what you like each get?”After a long silence, one boy and enjoying your friends.” raised his hand and answered, “A lawyer!” A boat was docked in a tiny Mexican village. An American tourist complimented the Mexican fisherman on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took him to catch them.“Not very long,” answered the Mexican.“Why didn’t you stay out longer and catch more?” asked the American.The Mexican explained that his small catch was sufficient to meet his needs and those of his family.The American asked, “But what do you do with the rest of your time?” “I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, and take a siesta with my wife. In the evenings, I go into the village to see my friends, play the guitar, and sing a few songs. . . I have a full life.” The American interrupted, “I have an MBA from Harvard, and I can help you! You should start by fishing longer every day. You can then sell the extra fish you catch. With the extra revenue, you can buy a bigger boat. “And after that?” asked the Mexican.“With the extra money the larger
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Page 8
Laugh Lines! Quotes That Make Us Go, “Huh?...”
• “Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country.” –Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC • “Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can’t help but cry. I mean I’d love to be skinny like that but not with all those flies and death and stuff. –Mariah Carey, pop singer • “I’m not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president.” –Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents • “China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese.” –Former French President Charles de Gaulle • “I haven’t committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law.” –David Dinkins, New York City Mayor, answering accusations that he failed to pay his taxes. • “We’re going to turn this team around
Tidbits® - Denver Metro Area 360 degrees.” –Jason Kidd, upon his drafting to the Dallas Mavericks • “The Internet is a great way to get on the Net.” –Republican presidential candidate Bob Dole • “Things are more like they are now than they ever were before.” –Former U.S. President Dwight D. Eisenhower • “Traditionally, most of Australia’s imports come from overseas.” –Former Australian cabinet minister Keppel Enderbery • “Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana.... The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two, but can’t remember what they are.” –Matt Lauer on NBC’s Today Show • “They’re multi-purpose. Not only do they put the clips on, but they take them off. –Pratt & Whitney spokesperson explaining why the company charged the Air Force nearly $1,000 for an ordinary pair of pliers • “It is wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago.” –Former U.S. VicePresident Dan Quayle • “No, no. I have been practicing...I bowled a 129. It’s like -- it was like Special Olympics, or something.” -President Barack Obama making an off-hand joke during an appearance on “The Tonight Show”, March 19, 2009 (Obama later called the head of the Special Olympics to apologize)
April 13, 2009
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