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May 25, 2009
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MEASURING UP!
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If it can be measured, someone has probably measured it – and chances are that someone else tried to beat the record afterwards… So don’t wear a long face, enjoy these neat extremes! • 8 ft 11 in (2.72 m) – that’s the record set by American Robert Ludlow before his death in 1940. He is the world’s tallest man in recorded history. • The record for longest hair in the world belongs to Xie Qiuping of China. Her hair was 18 ft 5.54 in (5.627 m) as of 2004. • The world’s oldest documented woman was Jeanne Calment of France. She died in August 1997 at 122 years and 164 days old. • The world’s longest causeway is over twenty-three miles (thirty-seven meters) long, and Louisianans might have already guessed it’s name – that’s right, it’s the Lake Pontchartrain Causeway in New Orleans. • The world’s longest fence is six feet (1.82 m) high and runs for 3,488 mi (5,614 km) to keep the dingoes away from the sheep in Australia.
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Page 2
• The Guinness World Record for smallest dog belongs to “Heaven Sent Brandy,” a • He Pingping of China is twenty years old Chihuahua who measures just six inches and is currently the world’s smallest man. from her tail to the tip of her nose. He stands at just twenty-six inches (seventy-four centimeters) and weighs only fif- • The longest highway belongs to Canada. The Trans-Canada Highway took twenty teen pounds (seven kilograms). years to complete and stretches from Vic• The largest American flag is 505 ft (153.9 toria, British Columbia to St. John’s, Newm) long, 225 ft (68.6 m) wide and weighs foundland and measures in at 4,860 mi 3,000 lbs (1,360 kg). (7,821 km).
MEASURING UP! (continued)
• The record for oldest animal in the world belonged to Harriet the Galapagos Land Tortoise, who celebrated her 175th birthday back in 2005. Harriet died in 2006, just shy of her 176th birthday and is estimated to have hatched before the Civil War - back in 1830. • The longest covered bridge is the Hartland Covered bridge in Hartland, New Brunswick, Canada. It spans the St. John River, opened in 1901 and measures 1,282 ft (390 m).
• The longest wall in the world? This one’s easy - it’s the Great Wall of China! But do you know how long it really measures? It stretches and winds over 3,768 mi (6,000 km) across China, is 25 ft (7.62 m) tall and is up to 30 ft (9.14) thick in some sections.
• What is the longest anyone has stood on one foot? Seventy-six hours and forty min- • The world’s longest snake ever found was a python in Indonesia. It was found in 1912 utes, as proved by Arulanantham Joachim and measured over 32 ft 9.5 in (10 m). in Sri Lanka in 1997. • The largest millipede on record belongs • The world’s tallest man-made structure hasn’t even been finished and it already to Jim Klinger of Texas. His African giant holds a world record! The Burj Dubai skyblack millipede measures 15.2 in (38.7 scraper in Dubai towers a whopping 2,684 cm) long and has 256 legs. ft (818 m) off the ground. It will have 160 • The world’s longest canal is the Beijinginhabitable floors, the most of any building Hangzhou Grand Canal. It is 5,885 ft (1,794 in the world. It is nearly twice the height of m) long and was begun in 486 B.C. the Empire State Building and will open in September of this year. • In 1403, 3,000 Chinese scholars began work on an encyclopedia. It took four years • The longest interstate is I-90 and runs from to finish and, at the time, was the world’s Seattle to Boston. It would be a 3,100 mi largest encyclopedia. It had 11,095 vol(5,000 km) trip if you drove it end to end. umes and 22,811 chapters. • The world’s longest mountain range is the • The oldest tree currently standing is a Andes. They line the coast of South AmerGreat Basin Brittlecone Pine in California. ica, stretching 4,500 miles (7,500 km) from It is named after the Biblical character of Cape Horn to Venezuela. Methuselah and is estimated to be about • It takes Neptune 164.79 Earth years to orbit 4,800 years old. the sun, but this could be because it has to • There is an older tree – well, root system. travel 17,561,814,000 mi (28,263,000,000 The current tree isn’t ancient, but its root km) to complete the trip! system is estimated to have taken hold in Sweden approximately 9,550 years ago • The longest serving U.S. President was after the last ice age. It was discovered by Swedish scientists in 2004. • The world’s longest fingernails belong to Shridar Chillal of India. His thumbnail alone is over four feet long! He’s been growing his nails since 1952 and his hand is permanently disfigured from the weight of them. • Bao Xishun of China is currently the world record holder for tallest man. He is 7 ft 8.95 in (2.36 m) tall. Leonid Stadnyk of the Ukraine measures 8 ft 5.5 in (2.5 m), but has refused to let Guinness measure him officially, so Bao currently holds the title.
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Franklin Delano Roosevelt. He served over twelve years as President and died in office in April 12, 1945. • The world’s largest cave is Mammoth Cave in Cave City, Kentucky. 350 miles of the cave system have been mapped although 560 miles are thought to exist. • New York City’s subway system is the largest in the world. It has 656 miles (1,056 km) of track in all. The longest line is the “A” 8th Avenue Express train, which is over 32 mi (51.4 km) long. • You might have known that the highest point on Earth is Mount Everest, measuring in at 29,029 ft (8,848 m) above sea level, but do you know what the lowest point on earth’s surface is? The Mariana Trench, at its maximum depth, is 6.8 mi (10.9 km) below sea level. It was first discovered during the Challenger expedition (1872-1876). • In January 1960, Swiss Scientist Jacques Piccard and US Navy Lt. Don Walsh made the world record for deepest dive when they made the 6.8 mi descent into the Challenger Deep, the lowest point in the trench. • The longest title of a book? Davide Ciliberti of Italy holds that record with the 290-word title of a book he published in 2007.
May 25, 2009
Tidbits® - Denver Metro Area
1. MEDICINE: Which vitamin is essential in blood clotting? 2. U.S. STATES: Which U.S. State has a license plate that proclaims, “Land of Lincoln”? 3. GENERAL KNOWLEDGE: Which one of the seven dwarfs in the film “Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs” did not have a beard? 4. LITERATURE: Who wrote the novel “Interview With the Vampire”? 5. LANGUAGE: What were known as “liberty steaks” during World War I in America? 6. ANIMAL KINGDOM: How many arms does a squid have? 7. HISTORY: Who tried to assassinate George Wallace while he was campaigning for president in 1972? 8. GAMES: What is also known as skeet? 9. MOVIES: How many roles did Peter Sellers play in the movie “Dr. Strangelove”? 10. MEASUREMENTS: How many tablespoons are in one-fourth cup? Answers 1. Vitamin K 2. Illinois 3. Dopey 4. Anne Rice 5. Hamburgers 6. 10 7. Arthur Bremer 8. Trapshooting 9. Three 10. Four (c) 2009 King Features Synd., Inc.
Page 3
• On May 30, 1806, in a duel with pistols, future President Andrew Jackson kills a man who insulted his wife, Rachel, who married Jackson before being divorced from her previous husband. Rachel’s divorce caused more of a scandal in the press and in parlors than Jackson’s killing of Charles Dickinson. • On May 31, 1870, Professor Edward Joseph De Smedt receives two patents for “French asphalt pavement.” On July 29, the first road pavement of sheet asphalt was laid on William Street in Newark, N.J. • On May 26, 1924, President Calvin Coolidge signs into law the Comprehensive Immigration Act, which denied entry to Mexicans, Eastern and Southern Europeans and Japanese. The Japanese government viewed the American law as an insult, and declared May 26 a national day of humiliation in Japan. • On May 27, 1937, San Francisco’s Golden Gate Bridge opens to the public after five years of construction. At 4,200 feet, it was the longest bridge in the world until the completion of New York City’s Verrazano-Narrows Bridge in 1964.
“Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving.” Albert Einstein
• On May 29, 1953, Edmund Hillary of New Zealand becomes the first explorer to reach the summit of Mount Everest, which, at 29,029 feet above sea level, is the highest point on earth. The first recorded attempt to climb Everest was made in 1921 by a British expedition. • On May 25, 1977, the first of George Lucas’ blockbuster “Star Wars” movies hits American theaters. “Star Wars” was soon a bona-fide pop culture phenomenon. Over the years it has spawned five more feature films, five TV series and an entire industry’s worth of comic books, toys, video games and other products.
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• On May 28, 1987, Matthias Rust, a 19-year-old amateur pilot from West Germany, takes off from Finland, travels through more than 400 miles of Soviet airspace, and lands his small Cessna aircraft in Red Square by the Kremlin in Moscow. The event proved to be an immense embarrassment to the Soviet government and military. One American diplomat in the Soviet Union joked, “Maybe we should build a bunch of Cessnas.” Soviet officials were not amused. (c) 2009 King Features Synd., Inc.
Tidbits® - Denver Metro Area
Page 4
May 25, 2009
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ARIES (March 21 to April 19) An unexpected development could change the Arian’s perspective on a potential investment. Keep an open mind. Ignore the double talk and act only on the facts TAURUS (April 20 to May 20) A surge of support helps you keep your long-standing commitment to colleagues who rely on you for guidance. Ignore any attempts to get you to ease up on your efforts GEMINI (May 21 to June 20) Family continues to be the dominant factor, but career matters also take on new importance. You might even be able to combine elements of the two in some surprising, productive way. CANCER (June 21 to July 22) A realistic view of a workplace or personal situation helps you deal with it more constructively once you know where the truth lies. Reserve the weekend for someone special. LEO (July 23 to August 22) As much as you Leos or Leonas might be intrigued by the “sunny” prospects touted for a potential investment, be careful that you don’t allow the glare to blind you to its essential details. VIRGO (August 23 to September 22) A friend’s problem brings out the Virgo’s nurturing nature in full force. However, don’t go it alone. Allow others to pitch in and help share the responsibilities you’ve assumed. LIBRA (September 23 to October 22) A business decision might need to be put off until a colleague’s personal matter is resolved. Use this time to work on another business matter that you’ve been anxious to get to. SCORPIO (October 23 to November 21) Relationships (personal or professional) might appear to be stalled because of details that keep cropping up and that need tending to. Be patient. A path begins to clear soon. SAGITTARIUS (November 22 to December 21) A promotion could cause resentment among envious colleagues. But others recognize how hard you worked to earn it, and will be there to support you if you need them. CAPRICORN (December 22 to January 19) Handling a delicate personal matter needs both your wisdom and your warmth. Expect some setbacks, but stay with it. The outcome will more than justify your efforts. AQUARIUS (January 20 to February 18) Resist the temptation to cut corners just because time is short. Best to move ahead step by step so you don’t overlook anything that might later create time-wasting complications. PISCES (February 19 to March 20) Use the good will you recently earned with that well-received project to pitch your ideas for a new project. Expect some tough competition, though, from an unlikely source. BORN THIS WEEK: Your love of family extends beyond your personal life to include others to whom you generously extend your care and affection.. (c) 2009 King Features Synd., Inc.
Scholarship Scams
As with any area involving money, finding scholarships for college is full of potential to be scammed. Treat your hunt for scholarship funds the same as you would any other financial transaction -- with caution. Here are some tips: • Avoid matching services that involve paying a fee. Use the Internet instead, and look online for free services matching students with scholarships. Chances are the scholarship scammers are using the same online service and will charge you for information you can get for free. Rule of thumb: Your only cash outlay to get a scholarship or information should be the cost of a stamp on an envelope. • Some matching services might claim that they have information you can only get from them, or that they have a high matching success rate. Beware anyone claiming to have special or unique information. • Ignore unsolicited written offers or phone calls. If you didn’t specifically ask for scholarship information from a particular company, it’s likely a scam. Legitimate scholarship groups aren’t going to hunt you down and ask you to take their money. • Don’t pay application fees, or any fee called a “processing” fee or any amount in advance for a promised scholarship. • There are no guarantees. No matching service can deliver on a promise that you’ll get a scholarship. Beware, too, promises to refund your money if you don’t get a scholarship. • If you talk to someone offering a scholarship on the phone, take notes. Get names, dates and times of conversations, and what was said. (You’ll need that information if you get scammed or even suspect a scam and want to report it.) • Don’t give out Social Security numbers or banking or credit-card information. • Don’t be rushed. If there’s a “time limit,” ignore the offer. If anything sounds at all like a high-pressure tactic (“You have to sign up today or the money will be gone!” or “I can only hold this scholarship for you for a little while.”), hang up the phone. • Avoid scholarship seminars. You’ll be subjected to high-pressure tactics to part with your money. If you want to report a scam, call the Federal Trade Commission at 1-877-3824357. While it won’t handle your individual problem, it does gather numbers and look for patterns. Also notify the attorney general in your state.. David Uffington regrets that he cannot personally answer reader questions, but will incorporate them into his column whenever possible. Write to him in care of King Features Weekly Service, P.O. Box 536475, Orlando, FL 32853-6475, or send e-mail to columnreply@gmail.com. (c) 2009 King Features Synd., Inc.
May 25, 2009
Tidbits® - Denver Metro Area
Page 5
Enjoy Your Retirement! Events
Tablescapes - Tea and Treasures: June 4, 2009, - June 6, 2009; 1400 Josephine St, Denver. 10:00 am - 4:00 pm Thursday through Saturday. $16 prior to June 1st, $22 after June 1st. Come enjoy a Victorian Tea, Gift Boutique, Amateur Table Setting Competition and Historic House Tours at the Mile High Professional Auxiliary’s 2009 Tablescapes event. All proceeds go to support the programs of the Assistance League of Denver. For more information call (303) 355-2470 or visit www.Denver.AssitanceLeague.org Elizabeth Stampede: June 5, 6 and 7, 2009; Elizabeth. Fri 11:00 am Royalty Lunch, 5:00 pm-10:00 pm Auction. 7:00 pm PBR Bull Riding. 9:30 pm Live music and dancing. Sat 10:00 am Parade, 2:00 pm and 7:00 pm PRCA Rodeo, 9:30 pm Live music and dancing. Sun 11:00 am Auction (Fairgrounds open), VETERANS SPECIALS. www.ElizabethStampede.com Fuel-Fest: June 12, 2009, - June 14, 2009, May Farms, Byers. A bold new Western festival that merges music and family entertainment with an extraordinary marketplace of clean technologies and educational workshops. Presented by May Farms in partnership with: The US Department of Energy’s National Renewable Energy Laboratory, Colorado Governor’s Energy Office and the Colorado Department of Agriculture. Music, workshops, market place and expo, hands-on interactive educational activities for kids - such as kite flying - as well as a healthy mix of barnyard fun - hayrides and a petting zoo. For More information visit www.Fuel-Fest.org. Parker Country Festival: June 12, 2009 - June 14, 2009; Town of Parker, Main Street. FREE Admission - Individual activies such as carnival rides will have costs. Carnival, 150 arts and craft/ Commercial vendors, kids’ activities, two stages of free entertainment and a parade. Friday 5:00 pm - 11:00 pm. Saturdy 9:00 am - 11:00 pm. Sunday 9:00 am - 10:00 pm. www.ParkerOnLine.org Jazz Aspen Snowmass Festival: June 18, 2009 - June 28, 2009; Snowmass. Ticket Information to be announced. NEW VENUE! Show Times To Be Announced. Music, Food, Friends and Fun. The festival will showcase multiple performances featuring this year’s brilliant group of JAS Academy artists at a variety of clubs. www.SnowmassVillage.com Greek Festival: June 19, 2009 - June 21, 2009; Assumption Greek Orthodox Cathedral, Denver. Eat, Drink and Dance like a Greek! $1 All Day Pass (Kids and Seniors are FREE). 11:00 am - 11:00 pm Fri and Sat, 11:00 am - 8:00 pm Sun. www.TheGreekFestival.com Coolest Car Show: July 4, 2009; 10:00 am - 4:00 pm. Downtown Estes Park, between West Elkhorn Ave and Moraine Ave, Estes Park Colorado. Ticket Information - $4 Adult, $2 children and students, FREE under 6 yrs old, OR BRING THE FAMILY FOR JUST $10! Proceeds benefit the Estes Park Museum. The Coolest Car Show will feature over 100 vintage vehicles from the 1920s and beyond. Car show will take place in Bond Park and throughout the Downtown area. Close up inspection of the cars is encouraged! Information and to register your car: www.EstesParkcvb.com To Place Your Event in this calendar please e-mail Info@TidbitsOfDenver.com as far ahead of the event as possible.
Free Events
Bus Tour of the Golden Triangle Art/ Museum District - First Friday of every month free, 5 - 9 pm. Ballet Arts Theatre, 816 Acoma St, Denver 303-825-7570 www.pnfproductions.com Children’s Museum - Free admission first Tuesday evening of the month, 4 8pm 2121 Children’s Museum Drive www. cmdenver.org Colorado Railroad Museum - Check the web site for free days. www.crrm.org 17155 W. 44th Avenue, Golden 303-2794591 CU In Broomfield World Music Series - Free concerts 2nd Wed of every month, 7pm Broomfield Auditorium, 3 Community Park Rd, 303-469-3301 x7999 www. broomfield.org Denver Art Museum - First Sat of every month free to CO residents, 10am-5pm 100 West 14th Avenue Parkway www. denverartmuseum.org Denver Botanic Gardens - Free days: July 20, Aug 20, Sep 19, Oct 23; 9am5pm 1005 York St, 720-865-3500 www. botanicgardens.org Denver Museum of Nature & Science - 2009 Free days: Sun May 31, Wed Jun 10, Mon Jul 13, Wed Aug 12, Sun Sep 13, Sun Oct 4, Mon Nov 2, Sun Nov 22. 2001 Colorado Boulevard, 303-322-7009 www. dmns.org Firehouse Tales For Tots- Denver Firefighters Museum 1356 Tremont Pl, (303) 892-1436. First Wednesday of each month 10:00 am - 10:30 am. Ages 2-6 Museum of Contemporary Art - First Saturday of every month - Admission: 1 penny 1275 19th St, Denver 303-2987554 www.mcartdenver.org U.S. Mint - Free: Mon - Fri; 8am - 3pm; reservations encouraged 320 West Colfax Ave., 303-405-4761 www.usmint. gov
Sports
Colorado Rockies - Major League Baseball • Rockies host Los Angeles: Mon May 25, 1:10 pm, Tue May 26, 6:40 pm, Wed May 27, 1:10 pm • Rockies host San Diego: Fri May 29, 7:10 pm, Sat May 30 6:10 pm, Sun May 31, 1:10 pm • Houston hosts Rockes: Mon Jun 1, 6:05 pm, Tue Jun 2, 6:05 pm, Wed Jun 3, 6:05 pm, Thu Jun 4, 6:05 pm • St. Louis hosts Rockies: Fri Jun 5, 6:15 pm, Sat Jun 6, 5:15pm, Sun Jun 7, 12:15 pm, Mon Jun 8, 12:15 pm Colorado Rapids - Major League Soccer • New York hosts Rapids: Sat May 30, 5:30 pm • Salt Lake hosts Rapids: Sat Jun 6, 8:00 pm • Rapids host DC United: Sat Jun 20, 7:30 pm • Rapids host Dallas: Wed Jun 24, 7:30 pm Denver Outlaws - Major League Lacrosse • Outlaws host Bayhawks: Sat May 30, 7:00 pm • Machine hosts Outlaws: Sun Jun 7, 2:00 pm • Outlaws host Lizrds: Sat Jun 13, 7:00 pm • Outlaws host Nationals: Sat Jun 20, 7:00 pm • Nationals host Outlaws: Sat Jun 27, 5:00 pm
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Tidbits® - Denver Metro Area
Page 6
Kids Safety
It’s been 16 years but for those of us that have lived in Colorado long enough, we will never forget the 1993 May day that 5 year old Alie Berrelez disappeared. Our hearts stopped – this beautiful, smiling child’s face was on the news; the police scrambled, trying to find any trace of her. Three days later, Officer Yogi arrived on the scene. Yogi, a bloodhound with the Aurora police department, quickly picked up Alie’s scent – despite recent rain and the scent of hundreds of people who had searched the playground and neighborhood looking for Alie. Officer Jerry Nichols, Yogi’s handler, had no doubt that his K9 could find Alie. Straining at his lead, Yogi led Officer Nichols for 7 hours and over 10 miles, following Alie’s scent from the kidnapper’s car. Yogi wanted to keep going but Officer Nichols could see the exhaustion on his partner and called it a day. The following day Yogi and Nichols were back at it – but not for long. Unfortunately, they found the body of little Alie in a duffel bag at the bottom of an embankment. Although the search did not end the way Alie’s family had hoped, Alie’s grandfather, Richard Berrelez thanked Yogi and Officer Nichols for their efforts and for finding Alie so she could be put to rest. In gratitude for Yogi, and to help provide tracking support for others in need, Richard
Dear Tidbits Readers: Tidbits - Denver Metro Area can now place your display or classified ad in over 300 papers across the country! Papers such as: American Classifieds; Penny Saver; Thrifty Nickel; and other Tidbit publications throughout the USA. There is no need to contact each paper individually to place an ad. PRIVATE PARTY ADS - start at $12.00 per week for the first 20 words and 35 cents for each additional word. B U S I N E S S / COMMERCIAL ADS - start at $18.00 per week for the first 20 words and 35 cents for each additional word. Email us at Classifieds@ TidbitsOfDenver.com or call us at (303) 688-1987 to place your ad today
Berrelez formed the ALIE foundation. The ALIE Foundation helps provide bloodhounds to law enforcement agencies around the country. The first dog donated was named Alie, in memory of his granddaughter, and given to the Cherry Hills Police Department. All of the bloodhounds donated since that time carry two names – the first being “Alie”. One famous Alie dog is Alie Adam, the mascot for TV’s “America’s Most Wanted” (AMW) named for Adam Walsh, the abducted son of AMW’s son John Walsh. “Alie Bob”, named in memory of an ALIE Foundation supporter, is available to any police officer who would like to partner with an ALIE K9. ALIE bloodhounds are used throughout the world to search for missing children, missing Alzheimer patients, criminals, and cadavers. They are also used to help teach children, and their parents, how to stay safe. The dogs are very calm and loveable so the children feel very comfortable around them. The ALIE Foundation provides a speaker to help teach children how to deal with a stranger that approaches them. The speaker also teaches parents the dangers of leaving their child unaccompanied for even a few seconds. The ALIE Foundation is available to speak to any group of children at schools, churches, youth groups, home owners’ associations, city and county fairs, etc. The
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OCEAN CORP. Houston, Texas. Train for New Career. Underwater Welder, Commercial Diver, NDT/Weld Inspector. Job placement and financial aid for those who qualify, 1-800-321-0298.
JAPANESE ENGINES Transmissions Used/Rebuilt. Super Low Prices! Imported Direct From Japan, Cleaned/Tested. Year Warranty. Foreign Engines, Inc. 1-800-552-1595.
EMPLOYMENT FUN TRAVEL JOB Hiring 18-23 individuals to travel USA. Two weeks paid training, transportation, and lodging furnished. Toll free 866-234-3225.
FUN JOB! HAWAII BOUND! New reader service now hiring 17-22 enthusiastic people to travel for a fun, young, new company. Must be outgoing and wellgroomed. Pack your bags and call today. Ask for Steve. 1-800-734-9640.
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May 25, 2009
ALIE Foundation wants to keep your child safe! Please contact the ALIE Foundation at (303) 662-8402 to schedule a speaker. This 501(c)3 organization is sustained solely by charitable contributions. They are in need of your support to continue their work education children and parents about the danger of child abduction and to provide dogs to law enforcement officers. The ALIE Foundation is currently accepting your old car as a charitable donation. If you would like to help the ALIE Foundation with your donation, if you are aware of a police officer who would like an ALIE bloodhound, or if you wish to donate your old car; please contact the ALIE Foundation at (303) 662-8402 or visit www.Alie.org PLEASE REMEMBER TO REMIND YOUR CHILDREN DAILY NOT TO GET TOO CLOSE TO STRANGERS AND TO REPORT TO YOU ANY STRANGER THAT TRIES TO TALK TO THEM!
Call (303) 688-1987
HOUSES FOR RENT
MISCELLANEOUS
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Tidbits® - Denver Metro Area
May 25, 2009
WEEKLY FUNNIES
By Samantha Weaver
• It was 20th-century architect and businessman Charles Luckman -- known as “the Boy Wonder of American Business” -- who made the following sage observation: “The trouble with America is that there are far too many wide-open spaces surrounded by teeth.” • The Balkan country of Serbia has seen an odd trend in funerals lately: air-conditioned coffins. Even though the coffins cost approximately $6,600, a casket company that offers the chillers is having a hard time keeping them in stock. • Experts claim that if you make a line of flour on the floor -- or the counter, or table, or wherever you’re having trouble with the pests -- ants won’t cross it. • Back in the day, if you wanted to be a Pony Express rider, you couldn’t weigh more than 120 pounds. • Those who study such things -- and, to be honest, I’m not entirely sure who those people would be -- say that in the United States, people who live on the East Coast wash their clothes the least often, while those in the South wash them the most (a fact for which I, who live in the sweaty South, am eternally grateful). • The town of Key Largo, Fla., did not exist before the 1948 film of that name starring Humphrey Bogart made it famous. • Harry Benson, a photographer who covered the Beatles in the early days of their success, says that the Fab Four celebrated their first No. 1 U.S. hit, “I Want to Hold Your Hand,” by having a pillow fight in their hotel room. • An interesting note for all the towheads out there: In ancient Rome, prostitutes were required to dye their hair blonde, if it wasn’t already that shade. (c) 2009 King Features Synd., Inc.
Thought for the Day: “Laughter and
tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward.”
- Kurt Vonnegut
At dinner one night Johnny asked, “Daddy, are caterpillars good to eat?” His father responded, “Haven’t I told you never to mention such things during meals?” His mother then asked, “Why did you say that, Johnny? Why did you ask the question?” Johnny said, “It’s because I saw one on daddy’s lettuce, but now it’s gone.” An elderly couple was killed in an accident and found themselves being given a tour of heaven by Saint Peter. “Here is your oceanside condo, over there are the tennis courts, swimming pool, and two golf courses. If you need any refreshments, just stop by any of the many bars located throughout the area.” “Heck, Gloria,” the old man hissed when Saint Peter walked off, “we could have been here ten years ago if you hadn’t heard about all that stupid oat bran, wheat germ, and low-fat diets!” Several weeks after a young man had been hired by an advertising agency, he was called into the personnel director’s office. “What is the meaning of this?” the director asked. “When you applied for this job, you told us you had five years experience. Now we discover this is the first job you’ve ever held.” “Well,” the young man replied, “in your advertisement you said you wanted somebody with imagination.” A pastor, a doctor and a CEO were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The CEO fumed, “What’s with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!” The doctor chimed in, “I don’t know, but I’ve never seen such ineptitude!” The pastor said, “Hey, here comes the greens keeper. Let’s have a word with him.” “Hi George, say, what’s with that group ahead of us? They’re rather slow, aren’t they?” The greens keeper replied, “Oh, yes, that’s a group of blind firefighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime.” The group was silent for a moment. The pastor said, “That’s so sad. I think I’ll say a special prayer for them tonight.” The doctor said, “Good idea. And I’m going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there’s anything he can do for them.” The CEO said, “Why can’t these guys play at night?” A friend and I were standing in line at a fastfood restaurant, waiting to place our order. There was a big sign posted. “No bills larger than $20 will be accepted.” The woman in front of us, pointing to the sign, remarked, “Believe me, if I HAD a bill larger than $20, I wouldn’t be eating here.” A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa, taking her faithful aged labrador retriever, along for company. One day the labrador retriever starts chasing butterflies and before long, he discovers that he’s
WEEKLY ANSWERS
Page 7
CHANGE A LIFE
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lost. Wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch. The old labrador retriever thinks, “Oh, oh! I’m in deep trouble now!” Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap, the labrador retriever exclaims loudly, “Boy, that was one delicious leopard! I wonder if there are any more around here.” Hearing this, the young leopard halts his attack in midstrike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. “Whew!” says the leopard. “That was close! That old labrador retriever nearly had me!” Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So off he goes, but the old labrador retriever sees him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that something must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard. The young leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, “Here monkey, hop on my back and see what’s going to happen to that conniving canine!” Now, the old labrador retriever sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back and thinks, “What am I going to do now?” But instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn’t seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old labrador retriever says: “Where’s that darn monkey? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard!”
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Dog Of The Week
Need a new best friend?
Lula - a 4-year-old male Catahoula Leopard Hound mix. ID #A0516033
Cat Of The Week Mitch - a 5-year-old male Domestic Shorthair mix. ID #A0510156
Dumb Friends League 2080 South Quebec St. Call to adopt one of these or any of the other Denver, CO 80231 wonderful pets available (303) 751-5772 for $55 - $115. www.ddfl .org
Tidbits® - Denver Metro Area
Page 8
Caroline’s Interior Consignments
Earn Financial Freedom
4 Large Deliveries This Week! s Custom-made Italian Dining Set s 3pc Thomasville Living Room Set s Lots of Lazy Boy Recliners Delivery and Pick-up Available
May 25, 2009
Heirlooms Mall
1947 S. Havana Aurora, CO 80014 303.337.6880 Mon-Sat 10-6 Sun Noon-5
Tuesday - Friday 10:00 am - 6:00 pm Saturday 10:00 am - 5:00 pm Sunday 1:00 pm - 5:00 pm Closed Monday and legal holidays 10890 E Dartmouth Ave Ste D, Denver (between Havana and Parker) (303) 337-8181
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• SALES (earn up to $100k +) • DISTRIBUTION (Earn up to $20/hr)
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Laugh Lines!
Book Titles...
• The French Chef • Tight Situation by Leah Tard • Unemployed by Anita Job • Off to Market by Tobias A. Pigg
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by Howard I. Know
• Animal Illnesses
by Ann Thrax
• French Overpopulation by Francis Crowded
by Sue Flay • Fallen Underwear by Lucy Lastic • House Construction by Bill Jerome Home • Lewis Carroll by Alison Wonderland • Leo Tolstoy
by Warren Peace
• The L. A. Lakers Breakfast by Kareem O’ Wheat
• I Lived in Detroit • by Helen Earth • Inflammation, Please • by Arthur Itis • Handel’s Messiah • by Ollie Luyah • Downpour! • by Wayne Dwops • Cloning • by Ima Dubble • Holmes Does it Again • by Scott Linyard • Home Alone IV • by Eddie Buddyhome
Why Cars Stop
by M. T. Tank
Wind in the Willows by Russell Ingleaves Look Younger
by Fay Slift
Mountain Climbing by Andover Hand It’s Springtime! No! And Shut Up!
by Theresa Green by Kurt Reply by Sid Downe
• Neither a Borrower • 40 Yards to the Latrine by Nora Lender Bee by Willy Makeit and Betty Wont • The Scent of a Man • Glass Bikini by Jim Nasium by Seymore Skynn • Is O. J. Guilty?
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Quips & Quotes
“You can tell more about a person by what he says about others than you can by what others say about him.”- Unknownr
“The World Through A Child’s Eyes” Can be YOURS! The perfect book to read with your child. This acclaimed book written by Michael Brasier is perfect for children and adults alike who enjoy reading about different countries and adventures through the eyes of a child.
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