Denver Metro Area June 29, 2009
Issue #1093
Published by Mountain View Publishing, LLC
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TIDBITS® GETS PATRIOTIC FOR
THE 4TH OF JULY by Sarah Bates
Oh say can you see? It’s America’s 233rd birthday this week! And to celebrate, we bring you some patriotic American Tidbits!
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• T h i r t y - o n e places in the United States have the word liberty in their name. There are also just as many with the word eagle in them.
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• Constitution Day is celebrated on September 17th, when the United States Constitutional Convention signed the Constitution in 1787. The holiday was established in 2004. • Betsy Ross was the 8th of 17 children. • Nearly all the signers of the Constitution had political experience in either colonial or state government.
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• Here’s one for our conspiracy theorists: there is writing on the back of the Declaration of Independence but it’s not invisible. The writing reads “Original Declaration of Independence” and is dated “4th July 1776.” The same is repeated again, upside down, on the bottom of the document.
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Tidbits® - Denver Metro Area
Page 2 THE 4TH OF JULY (continued)
declaration, approving it on July 4th. Most delegates didn’t sign it until August 4th.
• The 1812 Overture is a popular song to play for 4th of July fireworks finales. It was • Both John Adams and Thomas Jefferson died on July 4, 1826 - America’s 50th Anwritten by Pyotr Tchaikovsky to commemniversary. orate Russia’s defense of Moscow against Napoleon’s advances. It debuted in the • July 4, 1791 was the first time the term InCathedral of Christ the Savior in Moscow dependence Day was used in America in on August 20, 1882. reference to the country’s independence. • The fifty-star American flag was first flown on July 4, 1960.
• In 1776, Americans had the lowest taxes and the highest standard of living in the Western World.
• The 4th of July wasn’t officially a legal holiday until 1941.
• King George III almost abdicated the throne when the British lost the Revolutionary War.
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• The battle of Yorktown ended the Revolu(Arapahoe S. of Shane Co.) tionary War in 1781. Did you know that the www.GardenChristianBookstore.com French who fought in the battle along side (720) 436-0095 *with approval • The words “under God” were not part of the Americans outnumbered them three to the Pledge of Allegiance until 1954. one? • Sam Wilson was a meat packer who provided meat to the U.S. Army around the • 1776 is a Tony Award winning Broadway • There are twenty-five official copies of the time of the War of 1812. Meat shipments musical about our nation’s birth. It was Declaration of Independence. Twenty are where stamped U.S. for United States, but produced on Broadway in 1969 and ran owned by American Institutions and two someone joked it stood for Uncle Sam. for 1,217 performances. It was based off by British Institutions. The rest are priCongress didn’t adopt him as a national the book of the same name by Peter Stone vately owned. symbol until 1961. and was made into a film in 1972. • To engross an official document is to pre• “Red, White & Boom” is an annual 4th of pare it legibly, using a large, steady hand. • We all remember the Boston Tea Party, but can you recall the second Boston Tea July fireworks display in Columbus, Ohio. It Timothy Matlack probably engrossed the Party? It took place on March 7, 1774, just was started in 1981. “Red, White & Boom” Declaration of Independence. He was the three months after the first. Both instances is also the name of a concert held annuassistant to then Secretary of the Concost the British what would be the equivaally in Kansas City, Missouri and Omaha, gress, Charles Thomson. lent of about $3 million today. Nebraska. • Did you know there is a handprint on the • The Massachusetts General Court first Declaration of Independence in the bot- • The stars on the original flag were set in a circle to show that all the colonies were recognized July 4th as a state celebration tom left- hand corner? equal. in 1781, becoming the first state legisla- • The Constitution, the Bill of Rights and the ture to do so. Declaration of Independence were formal- • More Patriotic Names: There are twelve U.S. places with independence in the • There were an estimated 2.5 million peoly delivered into the custody of the Archivist name, nine with freedom, five with Ameriple living in the United States in 1776. of the United States, Wayne Grover, and ca and one with patriot (Patriot, Indiana.) There are over 300 million people in the “enshrined” at a ceremony on December United States as of 2008. 15, 1952. The ceremony was attended by GET IT ‘N‛ Go then President Harry. S. Truman. • There is a one in four chance that the hot A Team with over 10 years Experience dog you are eating on July 4th came from • The Archivist of the United States is the official title of the head of the National ArIowa - and chances are that your hamburger came from Texas. One-sixth of the chives and Record Administration. beef in the United States comes from the • The very first 4th of July party at the White Lone Star State. House was held twenty-five years after • The first two versions of the Liberty Bell America’s Independence. were defective and had to be recast. The final, famously cracked version rang every 4th of July from 1778 to 1835.
• The Star-Spangled Banner is set to the tune of an English song titled “The Anacreontic Song.” • George Washington held his first public office at the age of seventeen. • The United States imported over $207 million in fireworks from China in 2007. • The United States legally separated from Great Britain on July 2, 1776 when the Second Continental Congress voted to approve the resolution of independence. Congress debated over and revised the
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Tidbits® - Denver Metro Area
1. ASTRONOMY: The adjective “Jovian” is used in reference to which of the planets in our solar system? 2. TELEVISION: Who is the voice of Moe the bartender on “The Simpsons”? 3. MOVIES: Who plays the human mother of Spock in the 2009 movie version of “Star Trek”? 4. MYTHOLOGY: In Greek mythology, who rules the underworld? 5. U.S. PRESIDENTS: Which U.S. president died of pneumonia only 32 days after taking office? 6. LITERATURE: When was the novel “Goodbye, Columbus” by Phillip Roth published? 7. FOOD & DRINK: What kind of food is a peanut (which isn’t really a nut)? 8. EARTH SCIENCE: How much of the Earth’s surface is covered by the oceans? 9. LANGUAGE: What is another name for a lexicon? 10. MATH: How many different symbols are used in Roman numerals?
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• On July 4, 1826, John Adams and Thomas Jefferson, the second and third presidents of the United States, die on the 50th anniversary of the adoption of the Declaration of Independence. Both men had been central in the drafting of the historic document. • On June 30, 1859, Jean-Francois Gravelet becomes the first daredevil to walk across Niagara Falls on a tightrope 160 feet above the Niagara gorge. Wearing pink tights and a yellow tunic, Blondin crossed a cable about 2 inches in diameter and 1,100-feet long with only a balancing pole. • On July 5, 1865, in the East End of London, revivalist preacher William Booth and his wife Catherine establish the Christian Mission, later known as the Salvation Army. Soup kitchens were the first in a long line of various projects designed to provide physical and spiritual assistance to the destitute. • On July 3, 1908, writer Mary Frances Kennedy Fisher is born in Albion, Mich. She was highly productive writer, producing nine books on food, including “How to Cook a Wolf” (1942).
Answers 1. Jupiter 2. Hank Azaria 3. Winona Ryder 4. Hades 5. William Henry Harrison 6. 1959 7. A legume 8. 71 percent 9. Dictionary 10. Seven
• On July 2, 1937, the Lockheed aircraft carrying American aviator Amelia Earhart and navigator Frederick Noonan is reported missing near Howland Island in the Pacific. The pair was attempting to fly around the world, and no trace of them has ever been found.
(c) 2009 King Features Synd., Inc.
• On July 1, 1941, NBC broadcasts the first TV commercial to be sanctioned by the Federal Communications Commission. Advertiser Bulova paid $9 to advertise its watches on the air during the broadcast of a Dodgers-Phillies game.
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• On June 29, 1995, the Sampoong department store in Seoul, South Korea, collapses due to construction errors, killing more than 500 people. In the middle of construction, the owner insisted that an extra floor with a swimming pool be added. Seoul’s official planning department was not advised of the change and safety inspectors were bribed. When the fifth-floor ceiling showed signs of imminent collapse, the only preventive measure taken was to move expensive merchandise out of the way. (c) 2009 King Features Synd., Inc.
Tidbits® - Denver Metro Area
Page 4
June 29, 2009
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FOR WEEK OF JUNE 29, 2009 ARIES (March 21 to April 19) Get your facts together and become familiar with them before you have to face up to that interview. The better prepared you are, the easier it will be to make that important impression. TAURUS (April 20 to May 20) New information might warrant changing your mind about a recently made decision. Never mind the temporary confusion it might cause. Acting on the truth is always preferable. GEMINI (May 21 to June 20) Creating a loving atmosphere for those you care for could pay off in many ways. Expect to hear some unexpected but very welcome news that can make a big difference in your life. CANCER (June 21 to July 22) Stepping away from an old and seemingly insoluble problem might be helpful. Use the time to take a new look at the situation and perhaps work out a new method of dealing with it. LEO (July 23 to August 22) You’re still in a favorable goal-setting mode. However, you might need to be a little more realistic about some of your aims. Best to reach for what is currently doable. The rest will follow. VIRGO (August 23 to September 22) A setback is never easy to deal with. But it could be a boon in disguise. Recheck your proposal, and strengthen the weak spots. Seek advice from someone who has “been there and done that.” LIBRA (September 23 to October 22) Coming up with a new way of handling a tedious job-regulated chore could lead to more than just a congratulatory memo once the word reaches the “right people.” Good luck. SCORPIO (October 23 to November 21) What you might call determination someone else might regard as stubbornness. Look for ways to reach a compromise that won’t require a major shift of views on your part. SAGITTARIUS (November 22 to December 21) You’re still in a vulnerable mode vis-a-vis “offers” that sound too good to be true. So continue to be skeptical about anything that can’t be backed up with provable facts. CAPRICORN (December 22 to January 19) Thrift is still dominant this week. What you don’t spend on what you don’t need will be available for you to draw on should a possible (albeit temporary) money crunch hit. AQUARIUS (January 20 to February 18) Staying close to home early in the week allows for some introspection about your social life. Sort out your feelings before rejoining your fun-time fellows on the weekend. PISCES (February 19 to March 20) It can be a bit daunting as well as exciting to find yourself finally taking action on a long-delayed move for a change. It helps to stay with it when others rally to support you. BORN THIS WEEK: Your love of home and family provide you with the emotional support you need to find success in the outside world. (c) 2009 King Features Synd., Inc.
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Going “Green” One Step at a Time Along with reducing your impact on the earth’s resources, “going green” can often save you money. And it doesn’t necessarily have to involve a big lifestyle change. Here are some simple steps you can take to live a bit “greener.” At Home: • Buy local meats, dairy products and vegetables. Wash clothes in cold water and dry them on a line outside. Shop garage sales or buy used instead of new. Buy a faucet filter and stop buying bottled water. Install ceiling fans and turn off the A/C. • Install a low-flow shower head. Use a water drum to collect roof rainwater for watering the garden and lawn. • Instead of using pesticides that contain chemicals, look for cheaper and safer alternatives. For example, sugar and boric acid is said to kill ants. At Work: The greenest way to go to work is not to go to work. Telecommuting saves on clothing costs, eating out, vehicle use and so much more. But if you have to show up, there are ways to “go green” at work. • Don’t buy office supplies until you’re sure you can’t make do with what you have. Print double-sided pages. Make your own scratch paper out of the reverse side of paper that would ordinarily end up in the trash. Decide if software upgrades would let you get another six months or a year out of your computers. Lower (or raise) the thermostat one degree. • For commuting, keep your car tuned up to reduce emissions and increase your gas mileage. Reduce your highway speeds to save gas. Use public transportation, if possible, or walk, bike or carpool. Not everything “green” is a money saver, however. • Compact fluorescent light bulbs cost more when you buy them, and you might have a problem getting rid of them later if stores in your area aren’t signed up to collect and dispose of CFLs. • Green cleaning products cost more and are thought not to work as well. Look for products you can make yourself with simple ingredients. You don’t have to “go green” all at once. Take it a few steps at a time and you could end up with a bonus: a less-expensive lifestyle. David Uffington regrets that he cannot personally answer reader questions, but will incorporate them into his column whenever possible. Write to him in care of King Features Weekly Service, P.O. Box 536475, Orlando, FL 32853-6475, or send e-mail to columnreply@gmail.com. (c) 2009 King Features Synd., Inc.
June 29, 2009
Events
MicroChip Your Cat - FREE: September 2008 - September 2009 (as long as supplies last); Various veterinary hospitals and clinics across the metro area. 150,000 cats metro-wide will receive free microchips! Visit www. ChipYourCat.com for details. Coolest Car Show: July 4, 2009; 10:00 am - 4:00 pm. Downtown Estes Park, between West Elkhorn Ave and Moraine Ave, Estes Park Colorado. Ticket Information - $4 Adult, $2 children and students, FREE under 6 yrs old, OR BRING THE FAMILY FOR JUST $10! Proceeds benefit the Estes Park Museum. The Coolest Car Show will feature over 100 vintage vehicles from the 1920s and beyond. Car show will take place in Bond Park and throughout the Downtown area. Close up inspection of the cars is encouraged! Information and to register your car: www. EstesParkcvb.com KidSpree: July 18, 2009 - July 19, 2009; Bicentennial Park, Aurora. Walk through a giant maze or life-sized board game. Paint a tiny town every color under the rainbow. Climb up or bounce high into the sky. Don’t miss the 14th annual KidSpree, featuring more than 60 handson activities and entertainers. 10:00 am - 5:00 pm. FREE. www.AuroraGov.org Castle Rockk Winefest: July 25, 2009; Wilcox and Perry Streets, Castle Rock. One third of Colorado’s wine producers will offer tastings of more than 160 varieties of Colorado wine. The art of winemaking is thriving in Colorado, from deep Merlots to elegant Rieslings, that consistently win top national and international awards. Chosen by the Colorado Wine Industry Board as one of five festival sites for its quality’; experience in tastings, demonstrations, artisans, entertainment and delicious cuisine. Enjoy today’s winemakers rebuilding a Colorado tradition at the Castle Rock Winefest. 12 noon - 6:00 pm $26 - $36. www. CaastleRockWinefest.com 46th Annual Colorado Scottish Festival and Rocky Mountain Highland Games: August 8, 2009 August 9, 2009; Highland Heritage Park, Littleton. Join this Celtic celebration featuring pipe bands, drumming, Scottish athletic competitions, highland dancing and folk music. Saturday 9:00 am - 10:00 pm, Sunday 9:00 am - 5:00 pm. $12 - adults. $8 Children (7-11). $8 Seniors (60+). FREE for children under 6. www.ScottishGames.org 2nd Annual Songwriters Supper Under the August Moon: August 22, 2009; Sedalia. Fabulous food, tasty cocktails, silent and live auctions and amazing entertainment from some of the region’s most recognized songwriters. All proceeds go directly to St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital. $125. Call 1-800-287-3695 to sponsor or donate. www.StJude.org/songwriterssupper. Heritage Festival: August 29, 2009 - August 30, 2009; Estes Park. Take a step back into time and explore the history of Estes Park. It’s a perfect opportunity for the entire family to learn about strong pioneer mountain men and women. FREE www.EstesParkcvb.com To Place Your Event in this calendar please e-mail Info@TidbitsOfDenver.com as far ahead of the event as possible.
Tidbits® - Denver Metro Area
Free Events
Bus Tour of the Golden Triangle Art/ Museum District - First Friday of every month free, 5 - 9 pm. Ballet Arts Theatre, 816 Acoma St, Denver 303-825-7570 www.pnfproductions.com Children’s Museum - Free admission first Tuesday evening of the month, 4 8pm 2121 Children’s Museum Drive www. cmdenver.org Colorado Railroad Museum - Check the web site for free days. www.crrm. org 17155 W. 44th Avenue, Golden 303-279-4591 CU In Broomfield World Music Series - Free concerts 2nd Wed of every month, 7pm Broomfield Auditorium, 3 Community Park Rd, 303-469-3301 x7999 www. broomfield.org Denver Art Museum - First Sat of every month free to CO residents, 10am-5pm 100 West 14th Avenue Parkway www. denverartmuseum.org Denver Botanic Gardens - Free days: July 20, Aug 20, Sep 19, Oct 23; 9am5pm 1005 York St, 720-865-3500 www. botanicgardens.org Denver Museum of Nature & Science - 2009 Free days: Mon Jul 13, Wed Aug 12, Sun Sep 13, Sun Oct 4, Mon Nov 2, Sun Nov 22. 2001 Colorado Boulevard, 303-322-7009 www.dmns.org Firehouse Tales For Tots- Denver Firefighters Museum 1356 Tremont Pl, (303) 892-1436. First Wednesday of each month 10:00 am - 10:30 am. Ages 2-6 Museum of Contemporary Art - First Saturday of every month - Admission: 1 penny 1275 19th St, Denver 303-2987554 www.mcartdenver.org U.S. Mint - Free: Mon - Fri; 8am - 3pm; reservations encouraged 320 West Colfax Ave., 303-405-4761 www.usmint. gov
Sports
Colorado Rockies - Major League Baseball • Dodgers host Rockies: Mon Jun 29, 8:10 pm, Tue Jun 30, 8:10 pm, Wed Jul 1 1:10 pm • Rockies host Diamond Backs: Fri Jul 3, 6:10 pm, Sat Jul 4, 6:10 pm, Sun Jul 5, 1:10 pm • Rockies host Senators: Mon Jul 6, 6:40 pm, Tue Jul 7, 6:40 pm, Wed Jul 8, 1:10 pm • Rockies host Braves: Thur Jul 9, 6:40 pm, Fri Jul 10, 7:10 pm, Sat Jul 11, 6:10 pm, Sun Jul 12, 1:10 pm • HOME RUN DERBY - July 13th 6:00 pm • 80th ALL STAR GAME in St. Louis July 14th - 6:00 pm • Padres host Rockies: Thu Jul 16, 8:05 pm, Fri Jul 17, 8:05 pm, Sat Jul 18, 8:05 pm, Sun Jul 19, 2:05 pm Colorado Rapids - Major League Soccer • Rapids host Chicago: Sat Jul 4, 7:00 pm • Rapids host Dallas: Sat Jul 11, 7:00 pm • DC hosts Rapids: Sat Jul 18, 6:00 pm • Rapids host New York: Sat Jul 25, 7:30 pm Denver Outlaws - Major League Lacrosse • Outlaws host Boston: Sat Jul 4, 7:00 pm • MLL ALL-STAR GAME - Invesco Field 8:00 pm • Bayhawks host Outlaws: Sat July 18, 5:00 pm • Outlaws host Lizards: Sat July 25 7:00 pm
Page 5
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You can Save a Life!
anything, cheese, whole milk, etc. Eat a well balanced meal prior to your donation, make sure you have sufficient iron and protein and avoid caffeine. You should plan on drinking more water after your donation.
You can save the life of a burn victim, a hemophiliac, or perhaps someone suffering from hepatitis, measles, tetanus or from an immune deficiency. You can even help people in shock – and get paid When you check in at the reception desk for it. you will show them your ID, and proof of Your plasma donation helps millions of residency and will be given a questionnaire people each year! Plasma is even used to fill in. BioMat will then take a picture of to produce Rho Immune Globulin, an you to keep in their records so on your injection given to Rh negative mothers subsequent donations they can verify during pregnancy and immediately after who you are. BioMat wants only healthy the birth of their children in order to plasma so they will then perform a prevent thousands of infant deaths each screening in which they will record your year. Think of all the people you can help, height, weight, vital signs, and take a with very little effort, and get paid for your blood sample through a finger prick. time. On your first visit you will then have a physical examination. You will only need How does donating plasma work? to have this done on your first visit and BioMat USA, a division of Grifols, requires then annually as long as you remain an that you be between the ages of 18 and active donor. The medical supervisor, or 65, weigh at least 110 pounds and be in physician, will complete a basic physical general good health. You need to possess exam; this is to ensure you are healthy a Social Security Card or a Visa Border enough to donate. Crossing Card, Possess a valid picture ID such as a driver’s license, military ID You are now ready to save a life! You will or passport and proof that you live within be seated in a comfortable chair during 125 miles of the donor center – a copy of the automated process which will collect your plasma and return your red blood a utility bill will suffice. cells back into your body. After your The day prior to your donation you should generous donation you will be asked to drink plenty of water. Continue drinking wait 5 minutes in the donation center until water the day of your donation as well. you have adjusted to the change in your You should try to avoid high fatty and blood volume. Most people have no ill side high cholesterol foods such as fried effects but some may feel lightheaded.
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Once you are ready, you will proceed to the pay out counter w h e r e you’ll be compensated for the time it has taken you to donate p l a s m a . P l e a s e c o n t a c t the center nearest you to learn about the amount of compensation you can expect and what other bonuses, if applicable, may be available to you. Finally – and MOST IMPORTANTLY!!!!! – You MUST donate again! Only plasma received from repeat donors is used to make the various plasma derived products. YES YOU CAN SAVE A LIFE! Call one of the two Denver area BioMat USA Plasma Donation Center Today to schedule your donation! Lakewood – 8800 Colfax Ave (303) 6204655 Aurora – 519 Sable (303) 367-9660
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Tidbits® - Denver Metro Area
June 29, 2009
Page 7
WEEKLY FUNNIES
By Samantha Weaver
• It was American astronaut Buzz Aldrin, the second man to set foot on the moon, who made the following declaration: “I believe that every human has a finite number of heartbeats. I don’t intend to waste any of mine running around doing exercises.” • If you’re like the average American, you will spend approximately 8,760 hours of your life -- that’s one full year -- just watching commercials on TV. • Talk about bad luck: A 26-year-old man was walking down a street in the town of Windhoek, Namibia, when he was struck by lightning. As if that weren’t bad enough, the bolt of lightning caused him to fall into the street, where he was struck by a car. The poor man didn’t survive, though it’s not clear which stroke of bad luck dealt the fatal blow. • You may be surprised to learn that the first Caesar salad was actually created in Tijuana, Mexico. • Every seed you find inside an apple has a genetically different makeup from every other seed inside the same apple. • According to the Oxford English Dictionary, the word that has the largest number of different meanings is “set” -- it takes 26 pages to detail them all. • According to the record-keepers at Guinness, Robert Ardito holds the world record for the most punches thrown in one minute: 702. • In Pennsylvania, a man was stunned when he returned home one day to find a deer taking a bubble bath. It seems that the unfortunate animal had stumbled into the house and in its frenzy to find a way out again, ended up in the bathroom, where its antics accidentally turned on the water and knocked over a bottle of bubble bath. (c) 2009 King Features Synd., Inc.
Thought for the Day: “Politeness is the art of choosing among your thoughts.” -- Madame de Stael
A Dutchman was explaining the red, white and blue Netherlands flag to an American. “Our flag is symbolic of our taxes. We get red when we talk about them, white when we get our tax bills, and blue after we pay them.” The American nodded. “It’s the same in the USA only we see stars too!” Teacher: Jenny, what do you know that has stars and stripes? Jenny: A movie about a zebra! The Fourth of July weekend was coming up, and the nursery school teacher took the opportunity to tell her class about patriotism. “We live in a great country,” she said. “One of the things we should be happy about is that, in this country, we are all free.” One little boy came walking up to her from the back of the room. He stood with his hands on his hips and said. . . . “I’m not free. I’m four.” The Michaels family owned a small farm in Canada, just yards away from the North Dakota border. Their land had been the subject of a minor dispute between the United States and Canada for generations. Mrs. Michaels, who had just celebrated her ninetieth birthday, lived on the farm with her son and three grandchildren. One day, her son came into her room holding a letter. “I just got some news, Mom,” he said. “The government has come to an agreement with the people in Washington. They’ve decided that our land is really part of the United States. We have the right to approve or disapprove of the agreement. What do you think?” “What do I think?” his mother said. “Jump at it! Call them right now and tell them we accept! I don’t think I could stand another one of those Canadian winters!” Two weathermen each broke an arm and a leg in an accident, and called from the hospital about the four casts. The duties of a novice drill instructor included escorting new recruits to the mess hall. After everyone had made it through the chow line, he sat them down and told them, “There are three rules in this mess hall: Shut up! Eat up! Get up!” Checking to see that he had everyone’s attention, he asked, “What is the first rule?” Much to the amusement of the other instructors, 60 privates yelled in unison, “Shut up, Drill Sergeant!” A woman went to the doctor’s office where she was seen by a young new doctor. After about four minutes in the examination room, the doctor told her she was pregnant. She burst out screaming and ran down the hallway. An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was. She told
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him her story. After listening, he had her sit down and relax in another room. The doctor marched down the hallway to the first doctor and demanded, “What’s the matter with you? Mrs. Smith is 59 years old, she has four grown children, seven grandchildren & you told her she was pregnant?” The new doctor continued writing on his clipboard & without looking up said, “Does she still have the hiccups?” A drill sergeant had just chewed out one of his cadets, and as he was walking away, he turned to the cadet and said, “I guess when I die you’ll come and dance on my grave.” The cadet replied, “Not me, Sarge...no sir! I promised myself that when I got out of the Army I’d never stand in another line!” One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, “What setting do I use on the washing machine?” “It depends,” I replied. “What does it say on your shirt?” He yelled back, “University of Oklahoma.” And they say blondes are dumb... Driving to the office this morning on I-25, I looked over to my right and there was a woman in a brand new BMW doing 100 miles per hour with her face up close to her rear view mirror, putting on her lipstick! I looked away for a couple of seconds and when I looked back she was halfway over in my lane still working on that makeup! It scared me (and this coming from a man) so much that I dropped my electric shaver, which knocked the bacon sandwich out of my other hand. In all the confusion of trying to straighten up the car using my knees against the steering wheel, I knocked my cell phone from my ear, which fell into the coffee cup between my legs, causing it to splash and burn my groin, causing me to scream, which made me drop the cigarette out of my mouth, ruined my shirt and disconnected an important business call. Those darn Women Drivers!
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Page 8
Laugh Lines! July 4th One-Liners...
• What happened as a result of the Stamp Act?
Tidbits® - Denver Metro Area
June 29, 2009
Caroline’s Interior Consignments
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