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Denver Metro Area Readers Weekly
Denver Metro Area July 06, 2009
Issue #1094
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OUR AMAZING EARTH by Sarah Bates
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We live on a pretty amazing planet. There are 195 countries, nearly 7,000 languages and 6.7 billion people - and if that’s not amazing enough, here are some more Tidbits: • Did you know that Earth is 4.5 billion years old? Geologists believe that for the first two billion years Earth supported no life whatsoever. They also speculate that for some time Earth was mostly in a molten state. This is why some of Earth’s oldest rock formations are only about 4 billion years old.
• About 40,000 tons of extraterrestrial matter from space rain down on Earth each year. If you ever hear someone talking about space dust, this is what they mean!
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• There are more than 50,000 earthquakes around the world each year. Did you know that an earthquake in 1811 caused parts of the Mississippi River to flow backwards?
• The Earth isn’t flat, but it’s not exactly round, either. Earth is known as an “oblate spheroid” because it is flattened at the poles and bulging at the equator.
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Tidbits® - Denver Metro Area
Page 2 OUR AMAZING EARTH (continued)
Earth go through phases just as our moon does. What a view!
• Only 3% of Earth’s water is drinkable. Two thirds of that is located in glaciers and ice • The air around forming lightning bolts becomes super heated and is five times hotsheets around Earth’s poles. The other ter than the sun! 97% of Earth’s water is salt water. • If you dug a hole to the other side of the • The Earth travels Earth, you wouldn’t end up in China. You’d 585,331,663 mi actually come out somewhere in the Indian (942 million km) Ocean, but you wouldn’t stop there. As you on its orbit around fell through the hole you’d accelerate until the sun. That’s you got to the Earth’s core, where you’d over 1,603,648 decelerate until you came out to the other mi (2,580,821 side. Gravity would then pull you back in km) per day and send you through the hole on a never that’s over 100 ending journey. It’s much like being in ortimes the earth’s bit and it takes about the same amount of circumference! time. You’d stay in that continual path in • There are billions of stars in the universe, your tunnel through the Earth until somebut there are only about 3,000 stars visible thing knocked you out of orbit. to the naked eye from Earth’s surface. • Sunset is usually redder than sunrise be• Did you know that fog and clouds are recause the atmosphere tends to be dustier ally just the same thing but at different alat that time of day. titudes? • Earth is the fifth largest and the densest • The plant life in the world’s oceans makes major body in our solar system. up 85% of all the flora on the planet. • While Earth only has one natural moon, • The highest temperature ever recorded on there are other bodies in our solar system the planet was 135.8º F (57.7º C). It was that orbit closely to Earth. One such body is recorded in Al Aziziyah, Libya on Septeman asteroid called Cruithne. It was discovber 13, 1922. You’re probably wondering ered in 1986 by Duncan Waldron. Cruithne about the record low. That goes to Vostok, orbits the sun just as the Earth does, but Antarctica on July 21, 1983. The Russian their orbits are so similar that their paths research station recorded -128.5º F (-89.2º appear to follow each other. Don’t worry, C). they are far enough apart that there is no • About 500 meteorites strike the Earth danger of collision. each year. Don’t worry about getting hit, • To get technical about it, Mt. Everest isn’t though. The odds are extremely low. Only the tallest mountain on Earth but it is the one woman has been hit by a meteorite in furthest above sea level. Mt. Everest is recent history, and that was a Sylacauga, 29,029 ft (8,850 m) above sea level. MauAlabama woman Ann Hodges, who was hit na Kea in Hawaii is 33,474 ft (10,203 m) by a nine pound (four kilogram) meteorite tall, but only 3,3476 ft (4,205 m) above sea back in 1954. level. • On the subject of things entering our atmo- • Natural gas was used in 900 B.C. by the sphere, let’s talk about things exiting. Did Chinese to evaporate salt water to produce you know that an object has to travel seven salt. The first natural gas pipeline was built miles per second to escape Earth’s graviin Rochester, New York in 1872. This nattational pull? urally odorless gas is given a rotten egg • The Earth is travelling over 67,000 mph smell so it is more easily detectable in a (107,826 km/h) through space! On the leak. subject of speed, it takes moonlight 1.25 seconds to reach the Earth. It takes sunlight eight minutes to travel from the sun to the Earth. • Earth actually takes 23 hours 56 minutes 4 seconds to rotate - which means a year isn’t 365 days, it’s actually 365.2564 days. The extra .2564 days add up every four years to give us February 29th. • The Earth’s core is about 7000º F (3870º C). But, did you know that only the outer part of the core is molten? Scientists believe the inside of the Earth’s core is solid, but since we’ve never been, no one really knows for sure! • If you lived on the moon you would see the
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• Did you know that glaciers appear blue in color because ice absorbs all other colors and only reflects blue? If all the world’s glaciers melted, the sea level would rise by 230 ft (70 m). • On June 8, 1783 the Icelandic volcanic fissure Laki began erupting, spewing lava and sulfuric dust and over 120 million tons of sulfuric dioxide. The spewing of dust lasted eight months and covered Europe in a dark haze known as the Laki Haze, which lasted until September. It effected the winter of 1784 in both Europe and North America, making it one of the most severe on record - from the most snow ever accumulated in New Jersey to part of the Mississippi River at New Orleans froze over. • If all the world’s newspapers were recycled after being read, it would save 250,000,000 trees a year. Remember to recycle your Tidbits or share with a friend!
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Tidbits® - Denver Metro Area
1. CITY NICKNAMES: What U.S. city is known by the nickname “Bison City”? 2. ANIMAL KINGDOM: What kind of creature is a goa? 3. SPORTS: Which sport might include a maneuver called a “closed choctaw”? 4. GENERAL KNOWLEDGE: What color is amaranth? 5. LANGUAGE: What is the U.S. equivalent of the British pram? 6. COMMUNICATION: What is the standard word that represents the letter “P” in the international radio alphabet? 7. MOVIES: What was the name of the cat in the movie “Men in Black”? 8. TELEVISION: Who played the role of Gus McCrae in the “Lonesome Dove” television series? 9. THE BODY: What is a human’s normal temperature in Centigrade? 10. PSYCHOLOGY: Someone suffering from nyctophobia would be afraid of what?
Page 3
• On July 11, 1656, Ann Austin and Mary Fisher, two Englishwomen, become the first Quakers to immigrate to Boston. Austin and Fisher, whose liberal teachings enraged the Puritan colonial government, were arrested and jailed. After five years in prison, they were deported. • On July 8, 1776, in Philadelphia, the Liberty Bell rings out from the tower of the Pennsylvania State House (now known as Independence Hall), summoning citizens to the first public reading of the Declaration of Independence. Though the document was adopted by delegates on July 4, the Liberty Bell was not rung until the Declaration of Independence returned from the printer on July 8. • On July 9, 1877, the All England Croquet and Lawn Tennis Club begins its first lawn tennis tournament at Wimbledon. The Wimbledon Championship is the only major tennis event still played on grass.
Answers 1. Buffalo, N.Y. 2. Tibetan gazelle 3. Figure skating 4. Red 5. Baby carriage 6. Papa 7. Orion 8. Robert Duvall 9. 37 C 10. Night or darkness
• On July 7, 1928, the Chrysler Corporation introduces the Plymouth as its newest car. With a delivery price of $670, the Plymouth was an attractive buy, selling more than 80,000 units in its first year. • On July 6, 1942, in Nazi-occupied Holland, 13-year-old Jewish diarist Anne Frank and her family are forced to take refuge in a secret sealed-off area of an Amsterdam warehouse, where they hide for two years. “The Diary of Anne Frank” has served as a literary testament to the 6 million Jews, including Anne herself, who were silenced in the Holocaust.
(c) 2009 King Features Synd., Inc.
• On July 12, 1962, at the Marquee Club in London, the Rolling Stones give their first public performance. The rock band’s name came from a Muddy Waters song. Although now in their 60s, the Rolling Stones continue to tour, playing sold-out shows around the world.
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• On July 10, 1992, the Alaska court of appeals overturns the conviction of Joseph Hazelwood, the former captain of the oil tanker Exxon Valdez. Hazelwood had been found guilty of negligence for his role in the massive oil spill in Prince William Sound in 1989. The Exxon Valdez, renamed Sea River Mediterranean, still transports oil, but is legally prohibited from entering Prince William Sound. (c) 2009 King Features Synd., Inc.
Tidbits® - Denver Metro Area
Page 4
July 06, 2009
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FOR WEEK OF JULY 06, 2009 ARIES (March 21 to April 19) Don’t be surprised if, in spite of your well-made plans, something goes awry. But don’t worry. Your knowledge of the facts plus your Arian charm will help you work it out. TAURUS (April 20 to May 20) A personal relationship seems to be demanding more than you feel you’re able to give. Best advice: Confront the issue. You could find the situation surprisingly easy to work through. GEMINI (May 21 to June 20) Resist being pressured into meeting your self-imposed deadline. This is important if you really feel that taking more time to finish a project could save time in the long run. CANCER (June 21 to July 22) A vacation choice seems less interesting than when you first made it. Could it be a matter of the place or the people going with you? Find out before you consider a change of plans. LEO (July 23 to August 22) Someone might be overriding your Leonine logic to get you to agree to “favors” you would normally avoid. Take a new look at what you’ve been asked to do and see if you’ve been misled. VIRGO (August 23 to September 22) Try to keep that emerging “judgmental” aspect in check this week. Too many critiques on relatively unimportant issues could create a lot of negative bounce-back reactions. LIBRA (September 23 to October 22) Facing unpleasant facts about an associate isn’t easy. But ignoring them isn’t wise. Ask a trusted (and neutral) friend to help guide you on what to do and how you might do it. SCORPIO (October 23 to November 21) A shift in opinion regarding a workplace situation could go a long way in vindicating the stand you’ve taken. But be aware that a satisfactory resolution could still be a long way off. SAGITTARIUS (November 22 to December 21) It’s not like you to choose the easy way rather than the right way to do things. So, follow your instincts and feel assured they will lead you to the right decision. Good luck. CAPRICORN (December 22 to January 19) Hold off on making a personal commitment until you find out what it really entails and whose interests are actually involved. There could be hidden facts you need to know. AQUARIUS (January 20 to February 18) A new friend offers an unexpected opportunity that could lead to a career change. Check it out carefully and consider getting an assessment from someone familiar with this field. PISCES (February 19 to March 20) A surprising discovery leads to mixed reactions from those involved in the “revelation.” But as you come to appreciate the truth, you’ll be able to also come to terms with your feelings. BORN THIS WEEK: Your love of travel helps you appreciate the wonders of the world. You would find a satisfying career in any travel-related industry. (c) 2009 King Features Synd., Inc.
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Low-Cost Netbooks Have Some Drawbacks
The netbook craze has swung into high gear as more and more people tote these small, inexpensive devices everywhere they go. Designed for Web browsing and e-mailing, netbooks have a lot to recommend them, but they’re not miniature laptops. Before you buy, consider the pros and cons. Pro: • Relatively inexpensive -- There are a few now at the $300 to $400 mark, with most not going over $500. • Easy to carry -- Netbooks are lightweight, which is helpful if you travel frequently. Most netbooks are in the 2-3 pound range. • Good for the basics -- If your computer usage is limited to checking e-mail and surfing the Internet, a netbook is something to consider. Con: • Small screen -- Netbooks come in two general screen sizes, 8.9 inches and 10.1 inches. No matter which you choose, they’re still small. If you spend more than an hour reading online, you’ll want the larger of the two sizes. • Small typing pad -- If you’re going from a full-size computer keyboard to a netbook, check the feel of a number of netbooks and decide if you can easily make the switch. If you do a lot of writing, extended use of the small pad could be a problem. • No DVD player -- If you have beloved software on CD, how is it going to be installed on a netbook? If it’s paid-for software, many companies have downloads available from their sites. Not all products, however, are available this way. • Battery life -- This is a big issue, one where some of the netbook manufacturers have fallen short. “Cell” size seems to be the current form of advertising how long a battery will last, but don’t be fooled. A “six-cell” battery could be 4,400 milliampere-hour, or it could be 5,200 or 5,900 mAH, a big difference in how long the battery will work. Additionally, no one can accurately predict just how long a battery will last without knowing the specifics of how the netbook will be used. Beware getting a machine with a short run-time battery and expect to upgrade it later. That upgraded battery could cost nearly 40 percent of the cost of the netbook. Best bet: Check online reviews by actual users before you buy. That will tell you more, in most cases, than all the slick advertising. David Uffington regrets that he cannot personally answer reader questions, but will incorporate them into his column whenever possible. Write to him in care of King Features Weekly Service, P.O. Box 536475, Orlando, FL 32853-6475, or send e-mail to columnreply@gmail.com. (c) 2009 King Features Synd., Inc.
Tidbits® - Denver Metro Area
July 06, 2009
Page 5
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MicroChip Your Cat - FREE: September 2008 - September 2009 (as long as supplies last); Various veterinary hospitals and clinics across the metro area. 150,000 cats metrowide will receive free microchips! Visit www.ChipYourCat.com for details. KidSpree: July 18, 2009 - July 19, 2009; Bicentennial Park, Aurora. Walk through a giant maze or life-sized board game. Paint a tiny town every color under the rainbow. Climb up or bounce high into the sky. Don’t miss the 14th annual KidSpree, featuring more than 60 hands-on activities and entertainers. 10:00 am - 5:00 pm. FREE. www.AuroraGov.org Castle Rockk Winefest: July 25, 2009; Wilcox and Perry Streets, Castle Rock. One third of Colorado’s wine producers will offer tastings of more than 160 varieties of Colorado wine. The art of winemaking is thriving in Colorado, from deep Merlots to elegant Rieslings, that consistently win top national and international awards. Chosen by the Colorado Wine Industry Board as one of five festival sites for its quality’; experience in tastings, demonstrations, artisans, entertainment and delicious cuisine. Enjoy today’s winemakers rebuilding a Colorado tradition at the Castle Rock Winefest. 12 noon - 6:00 pm $26 - $36. www.CaastleRockWinefest.com Highlands Ranch Concert Band: August 1, 2009 and August 22, 2009; Civic Center Park, Highlands Ranch. FREE!!!August 1st concert - children’s concert featuring tunes that the young fan will enjoy. Band members will be dressed in costumes and children can actually help conduct one of the songs! August 22nd concert - “Swing Shift” - a jazz ensemble will perform jazz and dance tunes. Bring a blanket, a picnic basket, and/or lounge chairs. (303) 683-4102. 46th Annual Colorado Scottish Festival and Rocky Mountain Highland Games: August 8, 2009 August 9, 2009; Highland Heritage Park, Littleton. Join this Celtic celebration featuring pipe bands, drumming, Scottish athletic competitions, highland dancing and folk music. Saturday 9:00 am - 10:00 pm, Sunday 9:00 am - 5:00 pm. $12 - adults. $8 Children (7-11). $8 Seniors (60+). FREE for children under 6. www.ScottishGames.org 2nd Annual Songwriters Supper Under the August Moon: August 22, 2009; Sedalia. Fabulous food, tasty cocktails, silent and live auctions and amazing entertainment from some of the region’s most recognized songwriters. All proceeds go directly to St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital. $125. Call 1-800-287-3695 to sponsor or donate. www.StJude.org/songwriterssupper. Heritage Festival: August 29, 2009 - August 30, 2009; Estes Park. Take a step back into time and explore the history of Estes Park. It’s a perfect opportunity for the entire family to learn about strong pioneer mountain men and women. FREE www.EstesParkcvb.com To Place Your Event in this calendar please e-mail Info@TidbitsOfDenver.com as far ahead of the event as possible.
"'5&3
Free Events
Bus Tour of the Golden Triangle Art/ Museum District - First Friday of every month free, 5 - 9 pm. Ballet Arts Theatre, 816 Acoma St, Denver 303-825-7570 www.pnfproductions.com Children’s Museum - Free admission first Tuesday evening of the month, 4 8pm 2121 Children’s Museum Drive www. cmdenver.org Colorado Railroad Museum - Check the web site for free days. www.crrm. org 17155 W. 44th Avenue, Golden 303-279-4591 CU In Broomfield World Music Series - Free concerts 2nd Wed of every month, 7pm Broomfield Auditorium, 3 Community Park Rd, 303-469-3301 x7999 www. broomfield.org Denver Art Museum - First Sat of every month free to CO residents, 10am-5pm 100 West 14th Avenue Parkway www. denverartmuseum.org Denver Botanic Gardens - Free days: July 20, Aug 20, Sep 19, Oct 23; 9am5pm 1005 York St, 720-865-3500 www. botanicgardens.org Denver Museum of Nature & Science - 2009 Free days: Mon Jul 13, Wed Aug 12, Sun Sep 13, Sun Oct 4, Mon Nov 2, Sun Nov 22. 2001 Colorado Boulevard, 303-322-7009 www.dmns.org Firehouse Tales For Tots- Denver Firefighters Museum 1356 Tremont Pl, (303) 892-1436. First Wednesday of each month 10:00 am - 10:30 am. Ages 2-6 Museum of Contemporary Art - First Saturday of every month - Admission: 1 penny 1275 19th St, Denver 303-2987554 www.mcartdenver.org U.S. Mint - Free: Mon - Fri; 8am - 3pm; reservations encouraged 320 West Colfax Ave., 303-405-4761 www.usmint. gov
Sports
Colorado Rockies - Major League Baseball • Rockies host Senators: Mon Jul 6, 6:40 pm, Tue Jul 7, 6:40 pm, Wed Jul 8, 1:10 pm • Rockies host Braves: Thur Jul 9, 6:40 pm, Fri Jul 10, 7:10 pm, Sat Jul 11, 6:10 pm, Sun Jul 12, 1:10 pm • HOME RUN DERBY - July 13th 6:00 pm • 80th ALL STAR GAME in St. Louis July 14th - 6:00 pm • Padres host Rockies: Thu Jul 16, 8:05 pm, Fri Jul 17, 8:05 pm, Sat Jul 18, 8:05 pm, Sun Jul 19, 2:05 pm Colorado Rapids - Major League Soccer • Rapids host Dallas: Sat Jul 11, 7:00 pm • DC hosts Rapids: Sat Jul 18, 6:00 pm • Rapids host New York: Sat Jul 25, 7:30 pm • Rapids host Columbus: Sat Aug 1, 7:30 pm • Rapids host Chivas USA: Sat Aug 8, 7:30 pm • Chicago hosts Rapids: Sun Aug 23, 4:00 pm • Rapids host Houston: Sun Aug 30, 1:00 pm Denver Outlaws - Major League Lacrosse • MLL ALL-STAR GAME - Invesco Field 8:00 pm • Bayhawks host Outlaws: Sat July 18, 5:00 pm • Outlaws host Lizards: Sat July 25 7:00 pm
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Page 6
Marry The Military
Bells were ringing out our independence this past weekend as we celebrated the 4th of July holiday.
everyone is doing for us. There’s not enough that I can say to begin to show how thankful I truly am,” shared the bride, Cressida Bedolla. Having first met on the fourth of July, it is appropriate the couple became husband and wife on Independence Day 2009.
Bells were also ringing for Specialist Jeremy Bedolla and Cressida Widger; this year’s Marry the Military couple. Local wedding and event businesses Villa Parker Cultural and Event Center provided their services at no cost to the hosted the 2nd annual Marry the Military couple. Sponsors of the 2009 Marry the event – an Independence Day wedding Military include: ceremony and reception for those in • Villa Parker (venue) www.VillaParker. active duty service. Marry the Military was com launched by Villa Parker in 2008 with plans • Sapphire Celebrations (event coordinator) to provide an annual wedding ceremony www.SapphireCelebrations.com and reception to an active service military couple. “With two of our owners being • Elements Catering (caterer) www. ElementsCatering.net former Marines, it is important to us to give back to the soldiers currently fighting for our • Miriam Zoole (officiant) www. country’s freedom,” shared former Marine ColoradoOfficiant.com Corps Sergeant and Villa Parker co-owner • Gaston Photography (photographer) Christian Oslund. Mr. Oslund went on to www.GastonPhotography.com say, “It is extremely nice to be in a position to support a member of the United States • Swank Stems (florist) www.SwankStems. com Infantry, who is serving his country and defending the very liberties and freedoms • A Music Plus (DJ) www.AMusicPlus.com we sometimes take for granted.” Specialist • Kelley Kakes (cake and favors) www. Bedolla, stationed at Fort Carson, returned KelleyKakes.com from serving 15 months in Iraq in February • Event Rents (rentals) www. 2009. EventRentsDenver.com “I am very appreciative of everything that
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July 06, 2009
• d’Anelli Bridal and Tux (wedding dress) www. ColoradoBridal.com • Phoenix Salon (nails) • Jennifer Bennett (hair) • Carissa Beauty (makeup) www. CarissaBeauty.com Local talk radio KOA had a phone-in chat with the bride the morning of the wedding and local TV stations KDVR (Channel 31) and KUSA (Channel 9) covered the event. Parker Mayor David Casiano was present for the ceremony and reception which was capped off by the annual town of Parker fireworks display. Villa Parker Cultural and Event Center is a multi-service facility located in Parker, 20 minutes southeast of Denver. Villa Parker’s magnificent estate offers over eight thousand square feet of Mediterranean styled architecture on five acres, accommodating destination weddings, social gatherings, and business events. Corporate Holiday parties are only months away - Visit www. VillaParker.com for more information.
Call (303) 688-1987
ADOPTION
CARS
TRUCKS
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Do you need a car? No qualifying! (303) 289-5600 Lockhardt Sales and Leasing
$500 POLICE Impounds! Cars, Trucks, Suv’s from $500! Hondas, Chevys, Jeeps, Toyotas, etc. For Listings 800-749-8116 ext 9191
HOUSE FOR RENT
MISCELLANEOUS
ADOPT: AFFECTIONATE, Financially secure couple seeks 1st baby. Big, beautiful house, at home mom, sports, music, loving extended family. Expenses paid. Legal, confidential. Aimee 1-877-323-4426
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$199/MO! BUY 1-4 bd Bank Foreclosures From $199/mo! HUD Homes etc. 5% Down, 20 years @ 8% APR! For listings 800-749-8124 ext. 5566
L AND/ L O T S F O R S AL E SPECTACULAR WOODED LOTS – Mountain views, wildlife and well-planned open space make these 3-5 acre lots starting at $185,000 very exclusive. The Preserve At Deerfield in Franktown, CO provides the rural living conditions, but still conveniently located to all major business areas. Call 303-688-1987 to schedule a time to view your next home site.
$29/MO!! BUY Police Impounds, Tax Repos!! Cars/Trucks/ Motorcycles from $29/mo! $0 down, 36 months @ 8.5% APR. For listings 1-800-749-8116 x 9192. TIRED OF BEING OVERWEIGHT WITH NO ENERGY? I can show you how to Lose Weight, have More Energy and Keep it Off!!! Guaranteed and Dr. Recommended. Call 888-373-8308.
MISCELLANEOUS WHERE SINGLES MEET: Listen & Reply to Ads FREE! Straight 303-302-3022 Curious? 303-302-3020 Use FREE Code 7325,18+Call 888-Megamates! GET PAID TO LOSE WEIGHT! 23 people needed in this area. 100% GUARANTEED! Call (800)-514-4508 today! $29/MO!! BUY Police Impounds, Tax Repos!! Cars/ Trucks/Motorcycles from $29/mo! $0 down, 36 months, 8.5%. For listings 1-800-749-8116 x 9192
STEEL BUILDINGS: 4 Only 25x38, 30x48, 40x62, 45x84. Must Move Now! Will Sell for Balance Owed. Free Delivery! 1-800-411-5869 x84
Tidbits® - Denver Metro Area
July 06, 2009
Page 7
WEEKLY FUNNIES
By Samantha Weaver
• It was comedian and TV host Jay Leno who made the following sage observation: “Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime. Teach a man to create an artificial shortage of fish and he will eat steak.” • Those who keep track of such things say that the most popular name for pet pythons is, perhaps unsurprisingly, “Monty.” • You’ve probably heard of haggis, the Scottish dish that is considered (by few, I imagine) to be a delicacy. Unless you’re a Scot yourself, though, you probably don’t know what’s in it. Well, you may not thank me for enlightening you, but here’s a rough description: Haggis consists of the lungs, heart and liver of a sheep, mixed with onions, suet, oatmeal and seasonings, then boiled inside the sheep’s stomach. • Fashion historians claim that England’s Queen Elizabeth I owned 3,000 of the elaborate dresses popular during her time. • If you’re like the average American, there are approximately 10,000 words in your vocabulary. • Without a bottle opener, a drunk homeless man in Belgrade, Serbia, was at a loss as to how to open his beer. So he hit upon the bright idea of using a hand grenade to pop the top. A live hand grenade, as it turned out. He popped his own top as well, dying in the incident. There’s no word at hand to explain how he got the grenade to begin with. • The Great Pyramid of Cheops in Egypt is so large that its base would cover 10 football fields. (c) 2009 King Features Synd., Inc.
Thought for the Day: “The reason why so few good books are written is that so few people who can write know anything.” -- Walter Bagehot
A woman decides to have a facelift for her birthday. She spends $15,000 and feels pretty good about the results. On her way home she stops at a newsstand to buy a paper. Before leaving, she asks the sales clerk, “I hope you don’t mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?”“About 32”, the clerk replies. “I turned 47 yesterday,” the woman says happily, and moves to her next stop.A little while later she goes into McDonald’s and upon ordering, asks the counter girl the same question. She replies, “I’d guess about 29.” The woman replies, “Nope, I turned 47 yesterday!” Now she is feeling really good about herself.While waiting for the bus home, she asks an old man the same question. He replies, “I’m 78 and my eyesight is starting to go. Although, when I was young, there was a sure way to tell exactly how old a woman was, but it requires you to let me kiss you.” They waited in silence on the empty street until curiosity got the best of the woman and she finally said, “What the heck, go ahead.” The old man lays a big, fat juicy kiss on her that goes on and on. After a couple of minutes she says, “OK already: how old am I?” He looks her up and down and says, “You are 47 years and one day old.” Stunned the woman says, “That is amazing! How did you know?” The old man replies, “I was behind you in line at McDonald’s.” A male frog goes to a psychic. The psychic tells him, “You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you.” The frog becomes excited, “This is great! Will I meet her at a party?” “No, in her biology class.” Bubba and Earl are two avid hunters who got a pilot to take them to Canada to hunt moose. They bagged six. As they were loading them on the plane to come home, the pilot tells them the plane can only carry four. The two good old boys objected strongly. “Last year we shot six and the pilot let us put them all on board; he had the same plane as yours. ”Reluctantly, the pilot gave in and all six animals were loaded.Unfortunately, even on full power the little plane couldn’t handle the load and went down a few moments after takeoff. Climbing out of the wreck Bubba asked Earl, “Any idea where we are?” “Yeah, I think we’re pretty close to where we crashed last year.” The old man ordered one hamburger,
WEEKLY ANSWERS
Call (303) 688-1987 or email Info@TidbitsofDenver .com Today!
one order of French fries and one drink. The old man unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half. He placed one half in front of his wife. He then carefully counted out the French fries, dividing them into two piles and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife. He took a sip of the drink, and then his wife took a sip and then set the cup down between them. As he began to eat his few bites of hamburger, the people around them were thinking, “That poor old couple - all they can afford is one meal for the two of them.” As the man began to eat his fries, a young man came to the table. He politely offered to buy another meal for the old couple. The old man said they were just fine - They were used to sharing everything. The surrounding people noticed the little old lady hadn’t eaten a bite. She sat there watching her husband eat and occasionally taking turns sipping the drink. Again the young man came over and begged them to let him buy another meal for them. This time the old woman said “No, thank you, we are used to sharing everything.” As the old man finished and was wiping his face neatly with the napkin, the young man again came over to the little old lady who had yet to eat a single bite of food and asked, “What is it you are waiting for?” She answered: “THE TEETH.” A preacher was completing a temperance sermon when, with great expression, he said, “If I had all the beer in the world, I’d take it and throw it into the river.” With even greater emphasis he said, “And if I had all the wine in the world, I’d take it and throw it into the river.”And then finally, he said, “And if I had all the whiskey in the world, I’d take it and throw it into the river.”He sat down and the song leader stood cautiously and announced with a smile, “For our closing song, let us sing Hymn #365: ‘Shall We Gather at the River.’”
Dog Of The Week
Need a new best friend?
Goose - a 3-year-old male purebred German Short hair pointer. ID #A0520202
Cat Of The Week Mittens - a 3-year-old domestic short hair mix. ID #A0513187
Dumb Friends League 2080 South Quebec St. Call to adopt one of these or any of the other Denver, CO 80231 wonderful pets available (303) 751-5772 for $55 - $115. www.ddfl .org
Laugh Lines! You Might Be From Texas If...
• You can properly pronounce Corsicana, Palestine, Decatur, Wichita Falls, San Antonio, Burnet, Boerne, Nacogdoches, Mexia, Waco, Amarillo, and Waxahachie. • A tornado warning siren is your signal to go out in the yard and look for a funnel. • You’ve ever had to switch from “heat” to “A/C” in the same day.
Tidbits® - Denver Metro Area
July 06, 2009
Caroline’s Interior Consignments
Quips & Quotes “Life is a great big canvas, and you should throw all the paint on it you can.” - Danny Kaye
Prices so fair -
everyone can have a beautiful home. Interior Designer to help with your choices
Shop us FIRST - Shop us LAST 3 - 5 new deliveries each week Delivery and Pick Up available Layaway Available
Tuesday - Friday 10:00 am - 6:00 pm Saturday 10:00 am - 5:00 pm Sunday 1:00 pm - 5:00 pm Closed Monday and legal holidays
Congratulations on Your Engagement! Choose an Officiant that will build your ceremony the way you want! YOUR Ceremony - YOUR Way!
Call Miriam (720) 581-5375 InterfaithOfficiants.com
• You know that the true value of a parking space is not determined by the distance to the door, but by the availability of shade.
10890 E Dartmouth Ave Ste D, Denver (between Havana and Parker) (303) 337-8181
INTRODUCING
Page 8
Your custom painted car.
Call for an Appointment Why buy new? Give her a custom look TODAY
Speed’s Custom Refinish - (303) 916-5619
• Stores don’t have bags, they have sacks.
4355 S. Parker Rd., Aurora, CO 80015
• You see people wear bib overalls at funerals.
Quips & Quotes
“You already possess everything necessary to become great.“ - Crow Proverb
• You measure distance in minutes. • Little Smokies are something you serve only for special occasions. • You go to the lake because you think it is like going to the ocean.
This acclaimed book written by Michael Brasier is perfect for children and adults alike who enjoy reading about different countries and adventures through the eyes of a child.
• You listen to the weather forecast before picking out an outfit. • You know cowpies are not made of beef. • Someone you know has used a football schedule to plan their wedding date. • You have known someone who has had a belt buckle bigger than your fist.
The perfect book to read with your child.
• You aren’t surprised to find movie rental, ammunition, and bait all in the same store. • Your “place at the lake” has wheels under it. • A Mercedes Benz is not a status symbol; a Ford F350 4x4 is. • You know everything goes better with Ranch dressin’. • You learned how to shoot a gun before you learned how to multiply. • You actually understand this and you are “fixin’ to” send it to your friends. • Finally, you are 100% Texan if you have ever heard this conversation: You wanna coke?” “Yeah.” “What kind?” “Dr. Pepper!”
As Seen on Amazon.com Buy direct and save 20%!!!! Call now for your personal copy. (303) 688-1987 Author@Worlds-Eyes.com
“The World Through A Child’s Eyes provides most refreshing reading and an innocent perspective of the world. This is an opportunity that many children Michael’s age do not get, but can now experience by reading this very interesting and delightful book.” Mrs. Wendy Craigg - Governor of The Central Bank of The Bahamas