40,000+
Denver Metro Area Readers Weekly
Denver Metro Area August 31, 2009
Issue #1102
Published by Mountain View Publishing, LLC
FOR ADVERTISING CALL (303) 688-1987
TIDBITS® TALKS LAW AS WE SAY
Caroline’s Interior Consignments
by Sarah Bates
LIKE NEW! Mission Stickley Media Surround - was $6k now $1500! Holds 57” TV
BOOK ‘EM
You’ve probably gotten an e-mail before that claims to list all the weird and wacky laws around the world, ones that don’t even make sense. This week Tidbits takes a look and tries to find some truth to all those weird and wacky aspects of the law.
Chapter 7 or 13
Bankruptcy (303) 525-9531
www.coloradobklawyer.com email: nomoredebt@qwest.net
HILL LAW OFFICE, P.C.
Lawrence R. Hill, Attorney at Law 1901 W. Littleton Blvd. | Littleton, CO 80120
20 years experience | affordable | fast | personal service Weareadebtreliefagency.WehelppeoplefilebankruptcyundertheBankruptcyCode.
Unemployed? Tired of being Broke? Be Your Own Boss!
Start Today!
www.MaverickClubSite.com What’s In It For Me?
Most Popular Programs from Stimulus Package Explained Join us for a round table where you will hear, in a no-pressure environment, explanations and howto’s for the most popular stimulus benefits. Some of the topics to be discussed: • Revised Cash for Clunkers Program • First Time Home Buyers Credit • Making Work Pay Credit • New & Improved Education Credits Learn how some of these can be utilized now! Learn two ways to get the First Time Home Buyers Credit early. Learn some of the traps and limits with these credits. Some benefits have deadlines - Don’t miss out! Offered on Tuesdays at 6PM or Saturdays at 1PM 08/18/09 – 09/29/09 See our website for details Limited seating, reservations recommended www.afsnodebt.com (303) 745-3962 Brought to you by Aurora Financial Services, LLC
BE REWARDED FOR SAVING THIS LIFE! Join our life saving team and experience all the rewards of donating. Contact your closest Biomat center for information. 501 Sable Blvd Aurora 303-367-9660 8800 W Colfax Lakewood 303-620-4655
Biomat USA What Matters Most . . . People! www.BioMatUSA.Grifols.com
Info@TidbitsOfDenver.com
• In Claremont, New Hampshire, it is against the law for any child under the age of ten to enter a cemetery without adult supervision. There are also stipulations in Claremont law that prohibit anyone from entering at night or having a picnic. That being said, if you are nine years old and want to have a night-time picnic in a Claremont cemetery, it’s definitely not allowed! (Although we can’t imagine a nine year old that would - talk about spooky!) • More on cemetery laws - there is a section in Wisconsin law that prohibits dogs or cats from entering a cemetery, with the exception of seeing eye dogs. While we understand this law refers to pets, we like to imagine a little patrol man standing guard and saying “No Dogs Allowed” - (yes, we’re referencing Charlie Brown.) • Did you know that causing a catastrophe is considered a felony in the state of Utah? Well, intentionally causing a catastrophe is a felony, that is. If you accidentally cause a catastrophe, it’s just a misdemeanor. • Achoo! Apparently, psuedophedrine is illegal in Japan. If you’ve got a cold and need Sudafed, don’t take it with you when you go there! turn the page for more!
OLHAUSEN pool table - was $3900 now $1900 includes Professional Set up and ALL accessories! Incredible pieces in from Hawaii! Like new Habersham and Pennsylvania House! Leather Sectional with Hide a bed AND Recliner! Tuesday - Friday 10:00 am - 6:00 pm Saturday 10:00 am - 5:00 pm Sunday 1:00 pm - 5:00 pm Closed Monday and legal holidays 10890 E Dartmouth Ave Ste D, Denver (between Havana and Parker)
(303) 337-8181
Do you suffer from:
Hypertension with Type 2 Diabetes? Overactive Bladder? | Psoriasis? | Eczema? Post-Menopausal Symptoms? Type 2 Diabetes? | Endometriosis? Horizons Clinical Research Center, LLC is conducting clinical research studies of investigational treatments for these conditions. As a participant in one of our research studies you will receive: 6aa Xa^c^X k^h^ih! aVW VhhZhhbZcih! bZY^XVa ZmVbh! VcY ^ckZhi^\Vi^dcVa igZVibZcih [gZZ d[ X]Vg\Z 6ahd XdbeZchVi^dc [dg ndjg i^bZ VcY igVkZa
Id aZVgc bdgZ VWdji djg XjggZcian Zcgdaa^c\ gZhZVgX] hijY^Zh eaZVhZ XdciVXi jh Vi (%(#(..#)%+,! ZbV^a ^c[d@]dg^odchXgX#Xdb dg k^h^i jh dc i]Z lZW Vi www.horizonscrc.com
Front Page Classifieds
QUEEN PILLOWTOP
MICROFIBER SOFA & Mattress Set. Brand new LOVESEAT in plastic. Sell $155. Can Brand New! Stain Resistant Lifedeliver 303-758-1312 time Warranty. List $1500 - sell: $599 Call: 303-758-1312
$250 NEW KING 3 PC PILLOWTOP
NEW Temperpedic type memory foam mattress
Mattress/Foundation w/ Special microbial cover w/ warranty. Delivery Avail. warranty. Contours for a better night’s sleep. Retail $2000. Call 303-758-1312 Asking $599. Can deliver. Pottery Barn Style 100% 303-758-1312 Please call. Leather Sofa & Loveseat 100% Leather Sofa Brand New. Very nice. Value over $5,500 must sell only $1550. Solid hardwood construction frame with lifetime warranty. Can separate, also has chair and ottoman avail. Can Deliver. 303-758-1312.
New - never used. In original plastic w/ warranty Sell $395. Delivery Avail. 303-758-1312
6 Pc. Bedroom Set: Cherry
Brand new still in boxes. List $1800. Sell $599. Can deliver. 303-758-1312.
Avoid Foreclosure
Have Your Lender Forgive Your Debt
Pay Nothing, Owe Nothing
Behind on your house payments? Has your lender started a legal process to foreclose on your property? Please be aware that no one is protecting your interests in this proceeding. The court, the public trustee and the lender want to process this as quickly as possible and take possession of your property at the earliest possible date with no regard for your interests or the consequence to you. Know your options, call us today at 720-922-9266 for a no cost consultation. Go to www.ShortSaleColoradoSpecialist.com Call Mark Sawyer direct at 720-922-9266, or email mark@MarkSawyerRealEstate.com
M E AT I E S T W I N G S I N T OW N !
Sunday is FUNday - Bloody Mary Bar Ladies Night every Thursday! Live Music - Fridays 6pm - 9pm Full Bar - Full Menu - if you don’t see it on the menu, let us know and we’ll do whatever SPORTS TAVERN we can to accomodate your wishes! 6495 E Evans, Denver (Corner of Monaco and Evans - just E of I-25) (303) 691-3391 www.MilosSportsTavern.com
BUY ONE GET ONE HALF OFF! Equal or lesser value. Not valid with any other offer Valid M-F 11a-3p Expires Sep 30, ‘09
Tidbits® - Denver Metro Area
Page 2
10% Off E l P a r r a l i t o
Your total bill Mexican Restaurant Authentic Mexican Food! with this ad
Give us a Try!
Since 1989
830 S. Buckley, Aurora (Buckley and Kentucky) (303) 337-9459 Open 10am - 9pm Daily
BOOK ‘EM! (continued) • Rocky Hill, Connecticut law states that any person, partnership, club or establishment cannot have more than four “amusement devices” which includes pinball machines, coin-operated slot machines, etc. • Did you know that bicycles can’t be used on park benches or in tennis courts in Eagle, Idaho? • A bill in Indiana states that the value of Pi is 3. The bill was proposed in 1897 and though it passed in the House of Representatives, it was indefinitely postponed in the Senate. • You’ve probably seen it in an old movie someone is speaking publicly and the audience starts to chuck tomatoes or pies at the them. Laughter and chaos ensue. But think again before you decide to throw a tomato if you’re from Kentucky. Throwing “missiles of any kind” at a public speaker is punishable with anywhere from a $50$500 fine and/or six months to one year imprisonment. • Want to watch a bit of tele the next time you’re in the United Kingdom? Here’s a bit of information you might not have known about British television. You must buy a license when you purchase your television in the United Kingdom. You have to have a license to receive a television signal and it is against the law if you do not. However, in some areas, some senior citizens can be eligible for a free license. The license covers any device used to watch tele and includes TVs, DVD players, computers and mobile phones. One license covers an entire household, however, and costs £142.50 for color and £48 for black and white each year. • It’s against the law to sit or lie down on any downtown sidewalk in Reno, Nevada. • In the Philippines, license plates are coded and those that end in certain numbers are only allowed to drive on certain days of the week. This is to help with keeping congestion down during rush hour, so be careful if you ever rent a car there! • Did you know that bear wrestling matches are prohibited in Alabama? Bear exploitation is considered a Class B felony in Alabama and
$%.6%2 -%42/ !2%!
The Neatest Paper Ever Read! Owned and operated by: Mountain View Publishing, LLC
For advertising or distribution information call or e-mail us today! Info@TidbitsOfDenver.com
(303) 688-1987 www.TidbitsOfDenver.com
Class B felonies are punishable with anywhere from two to twenty years imprisonment. • It’s against the law for llamas, burrows and pigs to graze on city property in Boulder, Colorado. This goes the same for most other four-legged creatures, like cows, sheep, goats, mules and horses. • It’s against the law to honk your car horn at any shop that serves cold beverages or sandwiches after 9 p.m. in Arkansas. We’re assuming this means to prevent noise violations, not scaring someone while they eat a sandwich. • Cathedral City, California law prohibits the throwing of any of the following items into a cesspool or down a manhole: glass, hay, dirt, garbage or waste, offal or yard trimmings.
August 31, 2009
If only Your House was Self Cleaning...
Just Details
Residential Cleaning Service Can Help! • FREE Estimates! • Integrity, Quality, Detail & Just Details Experience - Since 1984! When “OK” • Fully Insured Just isn’t • Windows, gutters, carpets and more! enough! • 10% off your first clean with scheduled service Call TODAY and SAVE! Rudy (303) 549-7944 or go online: www.JustDetailsCleaningService.com
• In Athens, Georgia it is against the law to either a $500 fine or up to six months impriswhistle, hum onment. or sing loudly • Galesburg, Illinois law prohibits citizens from on a public keeping any animal that troubles neighbors by street between being loud, smelly or otherwise disturbing. the hours of 11 p.m. and 7 • Many states, including Arkansas, define the a.m. Sunday term “dumb animal” as including every living Thursday and creature - puts a new perspective on that an12 a.m. - 7 noying neighbor, doesn’t it? a.m. Saturday • It’s against the law for taxi drivers to play muand Sunday. sic for their passengers in Finland. Apparently, This means you get a whole extra hour to this is considered copyright infringement, as whistle as loud as you want on the weekends. a taxi driver is providing a service for a fee. Pucker up! Therefore, copyrighted music cannot be in• Florida law prohibits the confining of any pig cluded in that service. Keep that in mind if you during pregnancy. ever hop a ride in a Finland. Your driver isn’t being rude, he’s just obeying the law! • It’s against the law in some parts of Kansas to kick a vending machine that ate your money. • It is rumored that it is still illegal to call a pig The full law protects parking meters, public Napoleon in France. We imagine the emperor telephones, vending machines and other dehimself had something to do with this law. vices that handle accepting and dispensing money. Are bill collectors • Shhhhh! It’s against the law to whisper in church or otherwise disrupt a group met for religious worship in Rehoboth Beach, Delaware. On the same note, anyone who disturbs a church service may be arrested, even by a private citizen in the state of Mississippi. Punishment for disturbing a service can include
harassing you?
WE SUE BILL COLLECTORS!
www.FightYourDebt.net John Cimino, Attorney 303-830-7274
August 31, 2009
Tidbits® - Denver Metro Area
Page 3
Your Home is Beautiful! Driveways - Patios - Retaining Walls
1. TELEVISION: What was the name of the frequently visited coffee shop on the sitcom “Frasier”? 2. U.S. STATES: What is the United States’ northernmost state capital? 3. ASTRONOMY What object in our solar system is about 110 times bigger than Earth? 4. ENTERTAINERS: What was entertainer Mel Brooks’ last name at birth? 5. LANGUAGE: What is logorrhea? 6. LITERATURE: How many sonnets are attributed to William Shakespeare? 7. GENERAL KNOWLEDGE: About what percentage of people are lefthanded? 8. GEOGRAPHY: Which European country is only 2 square kilometers? 9. ANATOMY: About how long does it take to blink your eye? 10. FAMOUS QUOTES: Who once said “A verbal contract isn’t worth the paper it’s written on”? Answers 1. Cafe Nervosa 2. Juneau, Alaska 3. The Sun 4. Kaminsky 5. Excessive talkativeness 6. 154 7. 10 percent 8. Monaco 9. 0.3 seconds 10. Samuel Goldwyn (c) 2009 King Features Synd., Inc.
• All Colors of Cement! • Reasonable Prices • No job too large or too small CALL TODAY! (303) 234-5150 Claud Cement Company
• On Sept. 2, 1666, in the earlymorning hours, the Great Fire of London breaks out in the house of King Charles II’s baker on Pudding Lane near London Bridge. The fire spread to engulf 13,000 houses, nearly 90 churches and scores of public buildings. Miraculously, only 16 people were known to have died. • On Sept. 6, 1847, writer Henry David Thoreau moves in with Ralph Waldo Emerson in Concord, Mass., after living for two years in a shack he built himself on Walden Pond. While at Walden, Thoreau spent a brief time in jail for refusing to pay taxes to support the war with Mexico. He later wrote Civil Disobedience based on the experience. • On Sept. 4, 1886, Geronimo, the wiliest and most dangerous Apache warrior of his time, finally surrenders in Skeleton Canyon, Ariz. After several years of imprisonment, Geronimo was given his freedom, and he moved to Oklahoma, where he converted to Christianity and became a successful farmer. • On Sept. 5, 1930, Charles Creighton and James Hargis, from Maplewood, N.J., arrived in New York City, having completed a 42day round trip to Los Angeles. They drove their 1929 Ford Model A the entire 7,180 miles in reverse gear. • On Sept. 3, 1977, Sadaharu Oh of Japan’s Yomiuri Giants hits the 756th home run of his career, breaking Hank Aaron’s professional record for career home runs. Oh, the greatest Japanese player of his era, retired in 1980 with 868 home runs, still a professional record. • On Sept. 1, 1985, seventy-three years after it sank to the North Atlantic Ocean floor, a joint U.S.French expedition locates the wreck of the RMS Titanic about 400 miles east of Newfoundland. Researchers used an experimental, unmanned submersible developed by the U.S. Navy to search for the ocean liner. • On Aug. 31, 1997, Diana, Princess of Wales, dies in a Paris hospital after suffering massive chest injuries in an early-morning car crash. Her companion, Dodi Fayed, was killed instantly, as was driver Henri Paul, who was intoxicated and lost control of the speeding Mercedes in a highway underpass. (c) 2009 King Features Synd., Inc.
Tidbits® - Denver Metro Area
Page 4
FOR WEEK OF AUGUST 31, 2009
ARIES (March 21 to April 19) Be careful not to allow the backers of a new financial “deal” to pull the wool over the Lamb’s eyes. It could hold fewer plusses and more negatives than you were first led to believe. TAURUS (April 20 to May 20) It’s a good idea to finish all incomplete tasks so that you can devote your attention to next week’s projects. The weekend could hold surprises for romantic Fernandas and Ferdinands. GEMINI (May 21 to June 20) A workplace suggestion you made a while ago that you might have forgotten could come back with a request to turn it from idea to reality. Your social life picks up considerably this weekend. CANCER (June 21 to July 22) Someone from the past could return with an intriguing opportunity for a future project. Check into it, by all means. But don’t neglect your current responsibilities in the meantime. LEO (July 23 to August 22) Keeping your claws sheathed and using good humor instead to counter someone who’s badmouthing the Big Cat isn’t easy. But it’s the best way to avoid more problems down the line. VIRGO (August 23 to September 22) A workplace situation could improve if you’re less critical and more supportive of those who are, after all, trying to do their best. Let them know you’re there to help when necessary. LIBRA (September 23 to October 22) A new job offer might not carry all the benefits you’re seeking. Make sure you know what you’re entitled to, what is off the table and what is negotiable before you make a decision. SCORPIO (October 23 to November 21) A social obligation you would rather get out of could hold some surprisingly positive aspects. Why not go and see for yourself? A family member makes a curious request. SAGITTARIUS (November 22 to December 21) Before tackling that new project awaiting you at home or on the job, take time out for some much-deserved pampering to help lift your spirits and restore your energy levels. CAPRICORN (December 22 to January 19) Your social calendar begins to fill up more quickly than you expected. And that’s great. You deserve to enjoy some good fun after so much time spent on serious matters. AQUARIUS (January 20 to February 18) A domestic situation continues to improve, thanks to all the tender, loving concern you’ve shown. A colleague makes a questionable move that you might want to check out sooner rather than later. PISCES (February 19 to March 20) A sudden turn in a romantic relationship calls for both a rational and passionate response. Keep the love level high, but also find out why the problem arose in the first place. BORN THIS WEEK: You often set high standards for others. But to your credit, you set the same expectations for yourself. (c) 2009 King Features Synd., Inc.
Save THOUSANDS on Repair/Refinish!
Into THIS!!!!
Turn this.....
Call now for your FREE ESTIMATE!
On Site Solutions Call Jonathan Edwards
303-521-3864
www.OnSiteSolutions.weebly.com
Furniture, Cabinets, Railings, Countertops, Window Frames, Porcelain, Fiberglass, Vinyl, Laminate, Tile and much more!
The “one stop sprinkler shop” COME IN TODAY!
For All Your Sprinkler Needs
SPRINKLER SYSTEMS
“Making Every Drop Count!” • INSTALLATIONS • START UPS • SERVICE
• PARTS SUPPLY • DO IT YOURSELF • REPAIRS
303-690-3886
SE CNR SMOKY HILL & CHAMBERS, AURORA
www.SmittysSprinklers.com
Neighborhood Boat and RV Storage
HALF OFF
Your Second Month’s Rent! Offer good only with this ad. Not valid with any other offers.
Expires Sep 30, ‘09
•Outside RV & Boat
14205 E. Davies Ave Storage Englewood 80112 •RV & Boat Wash Bay
303-680-0091
•Covered Storage
S of Arapahoe between •Inside Storage Jordon and Potomac •Inside Heated Storage
•Dump Station
August 31, 2009
Volunteer While Unemployed
Job hunting when unemployed involves more than just sitting in front of a computer, sending off resumes and waiting for the phone to ring -- or at least it should. Sitting at home day after day isn’t good for you -- or your job hunt. Thousands of unemployed are taking their employment break as an opportunity to volunteer -- yes, work for free -- and are enjoying the benefits it can bring. The benefits of volunteering include: • Giving you specifics to cover any gaps in your work history. Your future employer will appreciate the fact that you didn’t sit around, that you showed initiative and tried new things. • Free education and experience. Depending where you volunteer, you could have the opportunity to learn new money, office and people skills, and build the ones you already have. It all goes on your resume. • Widened horizons. Volunteering in an industry that’s different from your usual work could open your eyes to the possibilities in other fields. Perhaps you’ll aim your sights in another direction, or expand the direction you’re going in now. Perhaps you’ll decide that the new industry is for you and you’ll go back to school. • Being hired. You could end up being hired by the very place where you volunteer. • Making contacts. You never know who has what information. The right word to the right person could start a chain of events that leads you to a permanent job. It only takes one key contact to find you that job, and you don’t know who that contact is. The more people you come in contact with during the course of a day, the wider your network will expand. Where should you volunteer? Try museums, the Humane Society, hospitals, food banks, community gardens and parks, or after-school programs -- the list of possibilities is long. Nonprofits need help more than ever as their funding has been cut in many cases, and they’re struggling. Volunteers are needed for jobs such as grant writer, bookkeeper, fundraiser, greeter in all types of settings, marketing and public relations, museum docent, meal delivery to shut-ins, translator, tour guide and much more. The benefits to you, however, are the biggest of all. Keeping your spirits up and staying positive is important to your long-term job hunt. (c) 2009 King Features Synd., Inc.
August 31, 2009
Tidbits® - Denver Metro Area
Page 5
When your financial obligations get too big...
Morse & Associates, LLC is here to help.
MicroChip Your Cat - FREE: September 2008 - September 2009 (as long as supplies last); Various veterinary hospitals and clinics across the metro area. 150,000 cats metro-wide will receive free microchips! Visit www.ChipYourCat. com for details. 33rd Annual Colorado Balloon Classic: September 5, 2009 - September 7, 2009; Memorial Park, Manitou Springs. More than 100 balloons will be launched and the largest and oldest hot air balloon festival in Colorado, held in Colorado Springs. Entertainment and Concessions will be available at this FREE event. www. BalloonClassic.com Arts Festival: September 11, 2009 - September 13, 2009; Cherry Hills Mrketplace, Littleton. This outdoor event features artist booths, artist demonstrations, entertainment and even a kids’ fun area. FREE. Friday 12 noon - 6pm, Saturday 10am - 6pm, Sunday 10am - 2pm. www. GreenwoodVillage.com Estes Park Film Festival: September 17, 2009 - September 20, 2009; Historic Park Theatre, Estes Park. The Estes Park Film Festival is a showcase of new independent feature films, documentaries, and short films from around the country. Ticket Information and show times to be announced on the event web site: www.EstesParkCVB.com European Festival: September 26, 2009; Civic Green Park, Littleton. This unique event will allow you to enjoy a variety of European cuisine, performing arts, history and traditions. Programs during the day will feature concerts, professional dancers and singers from a variety of European cultrues, delicious European-inspired cuisine and activities for kids. FREE. 10 am - 10 pm. www. EuroFestival.org 31st Annual Aspen Filmfest: September 30, 2009 - October 4, 2009; Wheeler Opera House, Aspen. With its roster of independent films from all over the world, Filmfest offers an unparalleled opportunity to see the latest films from up-andcoming directors and actors who push the boundaries of movie making. In addition to new features and documentaries, Filmfest hosts premieres from well-loved filmmakers, special events, family films, and tributes like the Independent by Nature Award, which commemorates distinguished artists through on-stage interviews and career retrospectives. For Ticket and Show information go to www.AspenFilm.org 2009 Annual Pumpkin Festival: October 10, 2009 - October 11, 2009; Denver Botanic Gardens at Chatfield, Littleton. 9:00 am - 5:00 pm. $5 Adults, $4 Member, $2 Child, $2 Member Child - ANY CHILD IN COSTUME = FREE. 5 Acre Pumpkin Patch - Crafts, Food and Events. www. BotanicGardens.org To Place Your Event in this calendar please e-mail Info@TidbitsOfDenver. com as far ahead of the event as possible.
Free Events
Bus Tour of the Golden Triangle Art/ Museum District - First Friday of every month free, 5 - 9 pm. Ballet Arts Theatre, 816 Acoma St, Denver 303-825-7570 www.pnfproductions.com Children’s Museum - Free admission first Tuesday evening of the month, 4 - 8pm 2121 Children’s Museum Drive www.cmdenver.org Colorado Railroad Museum - Check the web site for free days. www.crrm.org 17155 W. 44th Avenue, Golden 303-2794591 CU In Broomfield World Music Series - Free concerts 2nd Wed of every month, 7pm Broomfield Auditorium, 3 Community Park Rd, 303-469-3301 x7999 www.broomfield.org Denver Art Museum - First Sat of every month free to CO residents, 10am5pm 100 West 14th Avenue Parkway www.denverartmuseum.org Denver Botanic Gardens - Free days: Sep 19, Oct 23; 9am5pm 1005 York St, 720-865-3500 www.botanicgardens.org Denver Museum of Nature & Science - 2009 Free days: Sun Sep 13, Sun Oct 4, Mon Nov 2, Sun Nov 22. 2001 Colorado Boulevard, 303-322-7009 www.dmns.org Firehouse Tales For Tots- Denver Firefighters Museum 1356 Tremont Pl, (303) 892-1436. First Wednesday of each month 10:00 am - 10:30 am. Ages 2-6 Museum of Contemporary Art - First Saturday of every month - Admission: 1 penny 1275 19th St, Denver 303-298-7554 www.mcartdenver.org U.S. Mint - Free: Mon - Fri; 8am 3pm; reservations encouraged 320 West Colfax Ave., 303-405-4761 www.usmint.gov
Sports
Colorado Rockies - MLB • Rockies host Mets: Tue Sep 1, 6:40 pm, Wed Sept 2, 6:40 pm, Thu Sep 3, 1:10 pm • Rockies host Diamonbacks: Fri Sep 4, 7:10 pm, Sat Sep 5, 6:10 pm, Sun Sep 6, 1:10 pm • Rockies host Reds: Mon Sep 7, 1:10 pm, Tue Sep 8, 6:40 pm, Wed Sep 9, 6:40 pm, Thu Sep 10, 1:10 pm Colorado Rapids - Major League Soccer • Rapids host Toronto: Sat Sep 5, 8:00 pm • Toronto hosts Rapids: Sat Sep 12, 2 pm • San Jose hosts Rapids: Fri Sep 18, 9 pm • Rapids host San Jose: Wed Sep 23, 7:30 pm • Kansas City hosts Rapids: Sat Sep 26, 6:30 pm Colorado Avalanche - NHL • Avalanche host Sharks; Thus Oct 1, 7:30 pm TICKETS ON SALE NOW Denver Broncos - NFL • PRESEASON Broncos host Arizona; Thu Sep 3, 7:00 pm • REGULAR SEASON OPENER Cincinnati hosts Broncos: Sun Sep 13, 11:00 am Colorado Mammoth - Natl Lacrosse League • PRESEASON Mammoth hosts San Jose, Sat Dec 20 7:00 pm
• Garnishments • Foreclosure • Harassment (303) 300-6684 1-877-284-7529 www.MorseBankruptcy.com
We are a federally designated debt relief agency pursuant to Title 11 of the U.S. Code, to help people file bankruptcy
INTRODUCING
Events
$500 Bankruptcy
Your custom painted car.
Free Consultation Payment Plans Available
Call for an Appointment Why buy new? Give her a custom look TODAY
Speed’s Custom Refinish - (303) 916-5619 4355 S. Parker Rd., Aurora, CO 80015
How to Eat an Elephant
Losing weight, toning and firming your body is a challenge - I want to help YOU!
Improve the quality of your life Look younger - Feel Better Be More Active... Let me help you make a difference today! Kim Sopoci personal fitness trainer www.KimSopoci.com (303) 690.3507
Tidbits® - Denver Metro Area
Page 6
August 31, 2009
A Pleasurable Car Buying Experience
Cooper is worth more in a mild-climate metro area than it is in harsh winter, mountainous areas), time of year, and desirability. Knowing what your car is The Cash for Clunkers (CARS – Car worth – to a dealer – also allows you to Allowance Rebate System) program may prepare yourself for what the dealer will be over, but it is NOT TOO LATE to get a offer you and not what you feel your car GREAT deal on your trade in! Centennial is worth – to you. Remember, the dealer Chrysler Jeep wants to help put you in the has to sell your car to someone else; driver’s seat. more than one of 40,400 miles. put yourself in the position of a used car Centennial Chrysler Jeep always shopper – what would you pay for your • If you still owe a lender on your trade-in maintains a competitive new inventory of car, call the bank and find the pay-off used car? Chrysler and Jeep vehicles as well as a amount. If you are negative or upside huge selection of quality used cars, trucks • Make sure the vehicle you are trading down on your car – you owe more than in is CLEAN! This doesn’t mean to take and vans, including many vehicles under the car is worth – consider making up it to the nearest gas station and run it $10,000. Save a ton of time with their the difference with cash down on your through the car wash – this means that experienced, understanding sales staff new car. you spend the time to thoroughly detail that specialize in expediting your purchase. it, or you spend the money to have it • Put your maintenance records together They are waiting to provide you with a fun, and place them in the glove box. Let professionally done. A clean car – easy and valuable automotive shopping the dealer know they are there. If your INSIDE AND OUT – will get you a better experience. vehicle has been in an accident that did trade in value. First impressions made In order to get you ready to trade in your more than cosmetic damage, this may a difference! old car for a new, or newer or “greener” affect its trade in value. Do not lie to the • Repair or replace worn or damaged items car, consider the following tips: dealer about your car’s history. on your car that are easily noticeable. • Do Your Homework! Know what your car This includes windshield damage (chips Centennial Chrysler Jeep is open Monday is worth. If you’ve looked up the value or cracks), tires that are near the end of through Saturday, 8:30 am – 9:00 pm. of your car through Kelley Blue Book or their tread life, dents, scrapes and rust Located at 9980 E Arapahoe, just east of NADA Used Car Guide, remember that I-25 in Englewood, Centennial Chrysler spots, broken headlights, etc. this is a GUIDE to how much your car Jeep will provide you with the quality and is worth. There are many factors that • Trade in your vehicle before the superior customer service you deserve. odometer hits the next 10,000 mile Go online www.CentennialChryslerJeep. will influence your car’s value including mark. A reading of 39,000 miles is worth com or call 303.790.9300 today! mileage, appearance, location (a Mini
Dear Tidbits Readers: Tidbits - Denver Metro Area can now place your display or classified ad in over 300 papers across the country! Papers such as: American Classifieds; Penny Saver; Thrifty Nickel; and other Tidbit publications throughout the USA. There is no need to contact each paper individually to place an ad. PRIVATE PARTY ADS - start at $12.00 per week for the first 20 words and 35 cents for each additional word. B U S I N E S S / COMMERCIAL ADS - start at $18.00 per week for the first 20 words and 35 cents for each additional word. Email us at Classifieds@ TidbitsOfDenver.com or call us at (303) 6881987 to place your ad today
Email Classifieds@TidbitsOfDenver.com E D U C AT I O N
OCEAN CORP. Houston, Texas. Train for New Career. Underwater Welder, Commercial Diver, NDT/Weld Inspector. Job placement and financial aid for those who qualify, 1-800-321-0298.
EMPLOYMENT
Part Time Sales Help Needed IMMEDIATELY! Work from home. Flexible Hours. Computer skills desired. Call 303-8880321 or email leti@ ledawebworks. com
EMPLOYMENT
NO SALARY LIMITATION! Earn as much as you want! Immediate openings for sales representatives. Contact HR@ TidbitsOfDenver. com
BUSINESS OPPORTUNITIES
ENTREPRENEURS NEEDED: FIRE your boss!$1K-$3K/ week+ 303 2375906 CARS Do you need a car? No qualifying! (303) 289-5600 Lockhardt Sales and Leasing
Call (303) 688-1987
ADPOTION
LEGAL
TRUCKS
ADOPTION: WE CAN GIVE YOUR BABY A WONDERFUL FUTURE! Professional secure couple wishes to adopt your infant. We can help with medical/ living expenses. Completely legal. Call our attorney David Radis 800637-2882.
DIVORCE ATTORNEY Cheap fees/flat rates. Matthew R. Osborne, PC (303) 759-7018
$500 POLICE Impounds! Cars, Trucks, Suv’s from $500! Hondas, Chevys, Jeeps, Toyotas, etc. For Listings 800-7498116 ext 9191
D E N TA L
L I V E S TO C K
MANUFACTURED HOUSING
FREE RENT NO DEPOSIT Month end promotion no deposit no rent for August through this weekend. 2&3 bed, with approved application. 4 metro locations. 303.865.8796
Affordable Dental Plan Household $19.95 or Individual $14.95. No limit on visits or services and no waiting period. 800794-9698
MISCELLANEOUS
Get your message out quickly and cost effectively. Call (303) 6881987 or email Classifieds@ TidbitsOfDenver. com
WHERE SINGLES MEET: Listen & Reply to Ads FREE! Straight 303-3023022 Curious? 303302-3020 Use FREE Code 7325,18+Call 888-Megamates!
FRIESAINS AND Gypsys and Drums. Oh My!!! www. excaliburbreeding. com 218-678-4125
Tidbits® - Denver Metro Area
August 31, 2009
WEEKLY FUNNIES
By Samantha Weaver • It was the inestimable Miss Piggy who made the following sage observation: “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye.” • If you ever travel to the Far East, you might run across an aspidistra, an ornamental plant with an unusual claim to fame. Although most plants are pollinated by bees, birds and other flying creatures, the aspidistra is pollinated by the humble snail. • Do you suffer from hallux valgus? Don’t worry, the malady is not as bad as it sounds. It just means that you have bunions. • When a pope dies, the cardinals convene to elect a new one, but there’s no guideline requiring that a certain amount of time be spent in the process. In 1503, Pope Julius II was elected in only a few hours. In contrast, Pope Gregory X’s election in 1271 occurred nearly three years after the previous pope died. • Before he founded the auto company Mazda, Jujiro Matsuda worked in Japan as a blacksmith. • What do the words “uncopyrightable” and “dermatoglyphics” have in common? Dermatoglyphics is the study of skin patterns such as fingerprints, so the meanings have nothing to do with each other. These two are the longest words in the English language that have no repeating letters. • You might be surprised to learn that a taste bud lives only about 10 days. • If you’re like 80 percent of the women who responded to a 2006 survey, you never wear about one-quarter of the clothes you own. (c) 2009 King Features Synd., Inc.
Thought for the Day: “Thanks to TV and for the convenience of TV, you can only be one of two kinds of human beings, either a liberal or a conservative.” -- Kurt Vonnegut
A man is in a bar and falling off his stool every couple of minutes. He is obviously drunk. So the bartender says to another man in the bar: “Why don’t you be a good Samaritan and take him home.” The man takes the drunk out the door and to his car and he stumbles at least ten times. They drive along and the drunk points out his house to the man. He stops the car and the drunk stumbles up the steps to his house with the man. The drunk’s wife greets them at the door: “Why thank you for bringing him home for me, but where’s his wheel chair?”
Page 7 Be the Biggest Online loser of 2009!
Earn $$$ for LOSING Lbs!
$29 For 8 Week Online Weight Loss Course Personal Coaching and Nutrition Information Classes start Wed Sep 9th at 10:15am OR 7:15pm
Register: www.csronlinewlc.com or call 1-888-814-5563 Sign up with a friend or family member today!
young feller, I was a little worried about winning that case myself, because that durned bull came home this morning.”
A neutron walks into a bar. “I’d like a beer” he says. The bartender promptly serves up a beer. “How much will that One of Microsoft’s finest technicians was be?” asks the neutron. “For you?” replies drafted and sent to boot camp. At the rifle the bartender, “no charge” range, he was given some instruction, a rifle, and bullets. He fired several shots at Seems a guy was driving for hours the target. The report came from the tar- through desolate country when he passed get area that all attempts had completely a farmhouse, and before he could react, missed the target. The technician looked at a cat ran out in front of him and “splat” his rifle, and then at the target. He looked he flattened the cat. Out of kindness and at the rifle again, and then at the target consideration, he stopped, turned around again. He put his finger over the end of the and drove back to the farmhouse to norifle barrel and squeezed the trigger with tify the occupants. When the housewife his other hand. The end of his finger was came to the door, the man said, “Pardon blown off, whereupon he yelled toward the me madam, but I just ran over a cat in target area, “It’s leaving here just fine, the front of your house, and assumed that it must belong to you. I know this might be trouble must be at your end!” hard to hear, but I wanted to let you know A big-city lawyer was representing the instead of just driving off.” “Not so fast”, railroad in a lawsuit filed by an old ranch- says she. “How do you know it was our er. The rancher’s prize bull was missing cat? Could you describe him? What does from the section through which the rail- he look like?” The man promptly flopped road passed. The rancher only wanted down on the ground, and said “He looks to be paid the fair value of the bull. The like this as he gave his best shot at a dead case was scheduled to be tried before cat impression. “Oh no, you horrible man”, the justice of the peace in the back room she replied. “I meant, what did he look like of the general store. The attorney for the before you hit him?” At that, the man got railroad immediately cornered the rancher up, covered his eyes with both hands and and tried to get him to settle out of court. screamed “Agghh!” The lawyer did his best selling job, and finally the rancher agreed to take half of An aged farmer and his wife were leanwhat he was asking. After the rancher had ing against the edge of their pig-pen when signed the release and took the check, the old woman wistfully recalled that the the young lawyer couldn’t resist gloating next week would mark their golden weda little over his success, telling the ranch- ding anniversary. “Let’s have a party, er, “You know, I hate to tell you this, old Homer,” she suggested. “Let’s kill a pig.” man, but I put one over on you in there. The farmer scratched his grizzled head. I couldn’t have won the case. The engi- “Gee, Ethel,” he finally answered, “I don’t neer was asleep and the fireman was in see why the pig should take the blame for the caboose when the train went through something that happened fifty years ago.” your ranch that morning. I didn’t have one A brain walks into a bar and says, “I’ll witness to put on the stand. I bluffed you!” have a pint of beer please.” The barman The old rancher replied, “Well, I’ll tell you, looks at him and says “Sorry, I can’t serve
WEEKLY ANSWERS
you.” “Why not?” asks the brain. “You’re already out of your head.”
Dog Of The Week
Need a new best friend?
Arthur - an 8 year old, neutered male, Purebred Dachshund. ID #A0388299
Cat Of The Week
Sweetheart - a 5 year old, spayed female, black doemstic short hair mix. ID #A0342126
Dumb Friends League 2080 South Quebec St. Call to adopt one of these or any of the other Denver, CO 80231 wonderful pets available (303) 751-5772 for $55 - $115. www.ddfl.org
Page 8
Laugh Lines! Church Bulletin and Service Bloopers
• Our next song is “Angels We Have Heard Get High.” • Don’t let worry kill you -- let the church help. • The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer. • This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the altar. • The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind. They can be seen in the church basement Saturday. • Thursday night-Potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow. • The senior choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir. • During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when A. B. Doe supplied our pulpit. • Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don’t forget your husbands.
Tidbits® - Denver Metro Area
CENTENNIAL CHRYSLER • JEEP 9980 E Arapahoe Rd Centennial, CO 80112 www.CentennialChryslerJeep.com
(303) 790-9300
PRE-OWNED SPECIALS
OVER 900 VEHICLES TO CHOOSE FROM 1996 HONDA ACCORD
$
Auto, AC, Won’t Last! #92241...................
2001 NISSAN XTERRA
4x4, Looking for a deal? #94522...............
2995
$
3995
1996 JEEP CHEROKEE SPORT 4X4, auto. #3070i3....................................
2002 VW JETTA GLS
Auto, clean! #95581.................................
$
2001 VW JETTA
Leather roof, loaded! #93962....................
2005 DODGE NEON
Auto, great 1st car! #91302.......................
2004 HONDA PILOT
EX-L won’t last! #3539i1...........................
2004 FORD MUSTANG
$
Low miles. Auto. #93521...........................
3995
4995
$
4995
$
• The eighth graders will be presenting Shakespeare’s “Hamlet” in the church basement on Friday at 7 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy. • The 1991 Spring Council Retreat will be hell May 10 and 11th. • Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children. • At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be “What is Hell?” Come early and listen to our choir practice. • Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done. • Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
2008 TOYOTA COROLLA
Auto, perfect 1st car. #3022i1..............
2006 DODGE MAGNUM
Black, high output engine. #3530i2.....
2007 JEEP LIBERTY
4x4, auto, PW/PL. #9571.....................
Why buy new? #91101........................
2007 MAZDA SPEED 6
6995 6995
9k miles. #9480...................................
14,988
14,988
$
14,995
$
15,988
$
17,995
2007 FORD SHELBY MUSTANG GT $
29,995
Own Rent * * * * *
Heirlooms
$
2007 JEEP GRAND CHEROKEE
Quips & Quotes
- Linda Knight
14,388
2009 TOYOTA CAROLLA S
4x4, all power. #9505...........................
“The best blush to use is laughter. It puts roses in your cheeks and in your soul.”
$
11,995
Loaded, all power, low miles. #93651...$
Super fast! Super clean! #4512i2........
$
$
2007 VW BEETLE
5995
$
• The Rev. Adams spoke briefly, much to the delight of his audience. • The church is glad to have with us today as our guest minister the Rev. Shirley Green, who has Mrs. Green with him. After the service we request that all remain in the sanctuary for the Hanging of the Greens.
August 31, 2009
Same Monthly Payment NO Money Down Help Terminating Current Lease Help with Moving Costs Help Buying New Furniture Contact:
Mall
1947 S. Havana Aurora, CO 80014 303.337.6880 Mon-Sat 10-6 Sun Noon-5
The Government Assistance Expert Call Steve @ 303-880-2929
Quips & Quotes
“Live a balanced life - learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some.” - Robert Fulghum