Denver Metro Area September 7, 2009
Issue #1103
Published by Mountain View Publishing, LLC
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TIDBITS® GETS DIRTY WHILE
LABORING AWAY by Sarah Bates
This week Tidbits celebrates the working men and women of the world with an article everyone can appreciate. So take a break from the job for a bit, kick back and relax as we share some interesting work related Tidbits. • It can always be worse, right? The next time you think your job’s rough, imagine being the cage cleaner at the zoo or an odor tester. Not too sure about just what that last one is? An odor tester is someone who makes sure that deodorant actually works. We’ll try not to think about the actual in-trial testing! • What’s in a name really? Would you ever be a sweat box attendant? It’s not what it sounds like. Sweat Box Attendants wait on guests in the sweat boxes of spas. Although it’s probably a sweat breaking job, the tips are probably great - and if you don’t mind attending to businessmen in towels, it could make a great summer or part-time job! • Do you know any Herpetologists? Or did you grow up wanting to study frogs, but didn’t know what to call it? Well, here’s your answer: Herpetology is the study of amphibians. It is a branch of zoology, which is the study of animals. Another branch of zoology is Myrmecology, the study of those little six-legged picnic fiends. Yes, you guessed it - ants. • Have you ever met a Tonsorial Artist? Does he draw tonsils? Is it some weird form of art, somewhere between Dadaism and Cubism? Do they draw the mythical Tonsor beasts from the Isle of Tonsoria? Nope, this is just a fancy old name for a barber. Tonsor is Latin for barber. turn the page for more!
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LABORING AWAY (continued) • Surnames were first used in Europe around the 10th or 11th centuries. There are several origins of surnames, but generally they were derived in one of four ways. A name could come from a father, could refer to the place one lived, be a nickname or, as relevant to this article, pertain to a person’s occupation. Such examples are Cooper, a barrel maker, Taylor, Cook, Carpenter, Miller, Smith and Cryer (the town crier.) • One of the first labor days occurred in 1882 on September 5th. Peter J. MacGuire, a union secretary, organized a parade of 10,000 workers in New York City. It was President Grover Cleveland who signed the bill that made the first Monday in September Labor Day. • Some famous folks have had the entertainment bug in their genes, acting and singing from a young age. However, like the rest of us, some celebrities first jobs were a little more run of the mill. Actor and comedian Jim Carrey was a security guard for some time before becoming the laughable big screen star we know today. Actor Warren Beatty was once a ratcatcher and Steve Buscemi once proudly served the New York City Fire Department. • Many celebrities were military men Sean Connery was a Navy man back in Scotland - and even once a milkman. Walt Disney drove an ambulance for the Red Cross during World War I. Diabetes spokesman Wilford Brimley was a body guard for Howard Hughes and also a military man - he served in the Marines. The Bucket List and Batman star Morgan Freeman was a mechanic for the U.S. Air Force. • Stop motion animators produce amazing work, but it’s certainly time consuming. One famous stop motion film, The Nightmare Before Christmas, took over two years to film due to the nature of the craft. The film’s co-writer and producer, Tim Burton, was an animator before moving on to his directorial fame and the film is based on a poem he wrote while animating for Disney in the 1980s. While he’s been said to have disliked the work, just
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look where it lead! Disney released the film via Touchstone Pictures in 1993. • Ironic, but true, LOST actress Evangeline Lilly was once a flight attendant. • Just what is a wrinkle chaser? Nope, it’s not cosmetic and it has nothing to do with fabric wrinkle removing product. A wrinkle chaser is the person responsible for removing wrinkles from the fabrics of shoes before they leave the factory. Nothing like having a new pair of wrinkle free kicks and we have wrinkle chasers to thank for that! • Did you know that there are over 7.2 million teachers in the United States? There are also 155.1 million people in the American workforce,. However, only 9% of those workers have been with their current employer twenty years or more.
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of Queenland’s project to boost tourism. Applications were taken until February of this year and the lucky winner, who was chosen out of 34,000 candidates, was Ben Southall from the United Kingdom. Ben basically just explores Queensland and writes about all his experiences and the great things the area has to offer. Ben started “work” on July 1, 2009. You can learn more about Ben and Queensland at his blog www.islandreefblog.com.
• More Celebrity Jobs: Did you know Mick Jagger was once a porter at a mental health facility? Fellow Brits and rock leg- • Millions of people have a commute of over ends Ozzy Osbourne worked in a slaughninety minutes each day, but if you think terhouse and Rod Stewart was a grave that is bad, try this: one California man digger. drove 377 miles (606.7 kilometers) round trip to his San Jose job with the compa• Before he graced the silver screen, Marny Cisco - that’s 1,550 miles (2,494 km) lon Brando dug ditches. Funny man Robin each week! He’s made the drive every Williams was once lauded for his silence day since taking the job in 1989. In 2006, - he once worked as a mime. Danny Dehe won $10,000 as the winner of Midas Vito would have given you a run for your Inc.’s “America’s Longest Commute.” money on the Tonsorial Artist Tidbit- DeVito was a formally trained hair stylist. • What do you get when you search for the “Best Job in the World?” The top hits on Google tell us that one man is being paid over $100,000 to live rent free on an island in Australia and blog about all of his experiences there for six months. But, it’s not just any island, and certainly not a deserted island. The job comes with fantastic accommodations! The job is part
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Tidbits® - Denver Metro Area
Page 3
Your Home is Beautiful! Driveways - Patios - Retaining Walls
1. GEOGRAPHY: The island of Jersey is part of which larger group of islands? 2. RELIGION: Who is the patron saint for mountain climbers? 3. PSYCHOLOGY: Someone who has tonitrophobia might be terrified during a storm. What kind of fear would this phobia sufferer have? 4. TOYS: What was the name of the British version of America’s “G.I. Joe”? 5. LITERATURE: Who wrote the novel “The Quiet American”? 6. MYTHOLOGY: In Greek mythology, who slew the Minotaur? 7. MUSIC: “The Last Waltz” was a documentary of the final concert of which rock group? 8. MOVIES: What is the only animal that Jim Carrey’s “Ace Ventura” character is afraid of? 9. GENERAL KNOWLEDGE: What is considered to be the largest library in the world? 10. LITERATURE: What is an onomatopoeia? Answers 1. Channel Islands 2. St. Bernard 3. Fear of thunder 4. Action Man 5. Graham Greene 6. Theseus 7. The Band 8. Bats 9. The Library of Congress 10. The imitation of natural sounds by words, like “meow” or “roar.” (c) 2009 King Features Synd., Inc.
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• On Sept. 7, 1776, during the Revolutionary War, the American wooden submersible craft Turtle attempts to attach a time bomb to the hull of British Admiral Richard Howe’s flagship, Eagle, in New York Harbor. It was the first use of a submarine in warfare. • On Sept. 13, 1814, Francis Scott Key pens a poem, which later is set to music and in 1931 becomes America’s national anthem, “The Star-Spangled Banner.” The poem, originally titled “The Defence of Fort McHenry,” was written after Key witnessed the Maryland fort being bombarded by the British during the War of 1812. • On Sept. 12, 1940, near Montignac, France, a collection of prehistoric cave paintings are discovered by four teenagers who stumble upon the ancient artwork in a cavern. The 15,000 to 17,000-year-old paintings consist mostly of animal representations. • On Sept. 8, 1953, Continental Trailways offered the first transcontinental express bus service in the U.S. The 3,154-mile ride from New York City to San Francisco lasted 88 hours and 50 minutes, of which 77 hours was riding time. The cost was $56.70. • On Sept. 9, 1971, prisoners riot and seize control of the maximumsecurity Attica Correctional Facility near Buffalo, N.Y. Later that day, state police retook most of the prison, but 1,281 convicts occupied an exercise field called D Yard, where they held 39 prison guards and employees hostage for four days. • On Sept. 11, 1985, Cincinnati Reds player/manager Pete Rose gets the 4,192nd hit of his career, breaking Ty Cobb’s major-league record for career hits. Rose retired as a player during the 1986 season, but remained in his position as Reds manager until Aug. 24, 1989, when he was banned from baseball for life for gambling on Reds games. • On Sept. 10, 1993, David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson first team up in the debut of “The X-Files.” Duchovny played FBI agent Fox Mulder -- nicknamed “Spooky” because of his belief in aliens and supernatural phenomena -- and Anderson played Dana Scully, a skeptical doctor.. (c) 2009 King Features Synd., Inc.
Tidbits® - Denver Metro Area
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September 7, 2009
How to Eat an Elephant
FOR WEEK OF September 7, 2009
ARIES (March 21 to April 19) Changing your mind doesn’t come easily for Lambs, who place a high value on commitment. But new facts could emerge that might persuade you to rethink your situation. TAURUS (April 20 to May 20) This is a good time to put that fine Bovine’s eye for beauty to work in redecorating your home or workplace. And don’t forget to indulge yourself in some personal time as well. GEMINI (May 21 to June 20) Your sense of loyalty to someone who asks for your help is commendable. But make sure there are no information gaps that should be filled in before you move too far too quickly. CANCER (June 21 to July 22) Don’t let difficult people raise the Crab’s ire levels this week. Avoid them if you can. If not, resist telling them off, even if you think they deserve it. Things improve by week’s end. LEO (July 23 to August 22) Your suspicions about a colleague might be on the mark. But you also could be misreading the signals you believe you’re getting. Do some discreet checking before jumping to conclusions. VIRGO (August 23 to September 22) Take some time out from your many tasks and see if someone might be trying to reach out to you. You could be surprised to learn who it is and why you might want to reciprocate. LIBRA (September 23 to October 22) You still might want to do more investigating before taking on a new commitment. Later would not be the time to try to fill in any crucial gaps in what you need to know about it. SCORPIO (October 23 to November 21) A new opportunity should be carefully studied. It might offer some of the things you’ve been looking for. Or it could contain new possibilities you never considered. Check it out. SAGITTARIUS (November 22 to December 21) You might have to work harder this week to get people to listen to what you have to say. But if you stay with it, you could start to get your message out to many by the week’s end. CAPRICORN (December 22 to January 19) Although family matters again take up a big chunk of the Goat’s time, the week also offers a chance to explore a new career move you’d been contemplating for a while. AQUARIUS (January 20 to February 18) Applying your practicality (what does it offer me?) and your creativity (how can I improve on it?) could provide sound reasons for seriously considering that new offer. PISCES (February 19 to March 20) The single set will find that keeping their romantic aspirations on high gives Cupid a better target to aim at. Paired Pisces will find that this week helps reinforce their relationships. BORN THIS WEEK: You believe in encouraging others to demand the best from themselves. You would be a fine sports coach, as well as an enlightened teacher.. (c) 2009 King Features Synd., Inc.
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Modifications Help Owners Keep Homes If you’re having trouble keeping up with your mortgage payments, the Home Affordable Modification Program might be able to help. HAMP was designed to help millions of homeowners keep their homes by lowering the mortgage payment. Billions of dollars were earmarked and nearly 40 “mortgage servicer” companies, or middlemen, signed up to participate. They cover the vast majority of mortgage loans in the country. However, HAMP, which was started in March 2009, hasn’t made much progress in helping homeowners. The Treasury Department’s first monthly report on the program showed that only a small percent of eligible homeowners have had any relief. Part of the blame for the poor showing in modifying those millions of eligible loans falls on the homeowners. Delays in taking action, wishful thinking, lack of knowledge about the programs and frustration over the many required steps have kept too many homeowners from applying. Here are some of the requirements: • Your existing loan must have been taken out prior to January 1, 2009. • You could be eligible for loan modification if your mortgage payment (including principal, interest, taxes, insurance and homeowner’s association dues) is more than 31 percent of your gross monthly income. • You must live in the home as your principal place of residence. • You must pass a hardship test and indicate why you need help. You’ll next need to complete a Trial Modification: prove that you can make the new reduced payments for three months. If you’re in default or bankruptcy, or even if foreclosure has been started, you likely can be helped, as the foreclosure will be suspended during the trial modification. For more information, go online to the Making Home Affordable site [makinghomeaffordable.gov]. It also has a list of mortgage servicers for the Home Affordable Modification program. Check to see if yours is on the list. If you need help, it’s there. The process can be irritating and long, but in the end you could keep your house and enjoy a stable interest rate. If you’ve missed one or more payments, but don’t qualify for HAMP, you can talk for free to a HUD counselor at 1-888995-HOPE (4673) to explore your other options. If a company insists that you pay a fee for loan modification counseling, it could be a scam. (c) 2009 King Features Synd., Inc.
Events
MicroChip Your Cat - FREE: September 2008 - September 2009 (as long as supplies last); Various veterinary hospitals and clinics across the metro area. 150,000 cats metrowide will receive free microchips! Visit www.ChipYourCat.com for details. Arts Festival: September 11, 2009 - September 13, 2009; Cherry Hills Mrketplace, Littleton. This outdoor event features artist booths, artist demonstrations, entertainment and even a kids’ fun area. FREE. Friday 12 noon - 6pm, Saturday 10am - 6pm, Sunday 10am - 2pm. www.GreenwoodVillage.com Estes Park Film Festival: September 17, 2009 - September 20, 2009; Historic Park Theatre, Estes Park. The Estes Park Film Festival is a showcase of new independent feature films, documentaries, and short films from around the country. Ticket Information and show times to be announced on the event web site: www.EstesParkCVB.com European Festival: September 26, 2009; Civic Green Park, Littleton. This unique event will allow you to enjoy a variety of European cuisine, performing arts, history and traditions. Programs during the day will feature concerts, professional dancers and singers from a variety of European cultrues, delicious European-inspired cuisine and activities for kids. FREE. 10 am - 10 pm. www.EuroFestival.org 31st Annual Aspen Filmfest: September 30, 2009 - October 4, 2009; Wheeler Opera House, Aspen. With its roster of independent films from all over the world, Filmfest offers an unparalleled opportunity to see the latest films from up-and-coming directors and actors who push the boundaries of movie making. In addition to new features and documentaries, Filmfest hosts premieres from well-loved filmmakers, special events, family films, and tributes like the Independent by Nature Award, which commemorates distinguished artists through on-stage interviews and career retrospectives. For Ticket and Show information go to www.AspenFilm.org 2009 Annual Pumpkin Festival: October 10, 2009 - October 11, 2009; Denver Botanic Gardens at Chatfield, Littleton. 9:00 am - 5:00 pm. $5 Adults, $4 Member, $2 Child, $2 Member Child - ANY CHILD IN COSTUME = FREE. 5 Acre Pumpkin Patch - Crafts, Food and Events. www.BotanicGardens.org Trick or Treat Street: October 29, 2009 - October 31, 2009; Children’s Museum of Denver, Denver. $5.50 $7.50. 9:00 am - 8:00 pm. 9:00 am . Pumpkin patch, carnival rides, art projects, theatre performances. Bring your costumed little ones and enjoy! www.MyChildsMuseum.org To Place Your Event in this calendar please e-mail Info@TidbitsOfDenver.com
Tidbits® - Denver Metro Area
Page 5
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Free Events
Bus Tour of the Golden Triangle Art/ Museum District - First Friday of every month free, 5 - 9 pm. Ballet Arts Theatre, 816 Acoma St, Denver 303-825-7570 www.pnfproductions.com Children’s Museum - Free admission first Tuesday evening of the month, 4 - 8pm 2121 Children’s Museum Drive www.cmdenver.org Colorado Railroad Museum - Check the web site for free days. www.crrm.org 17155 W. 44th Avenue, Golden 303-2794591 CU In Broomfield World Music Series - Free concerts 2nd Wed of every month, 7pm Broomfield Auditorium, 3 Community Park Rd, 303-469-3301 x7999 www.broomfield.org Denver Art Museum - First Sat of every month free to CO residents, 10am5pm 100 West 14th Avenue Parkway www.denverartmuseum.org Denver Botanic Gardens - Free days: Sep 19, Oct 23; 9am5pm 1005 York St, 720-865-3500 www.botanicgardens.org Denver Museum of Nature & Science - 2009 Free days: Sun Sep 13, Sun Oct 4, Mon Nov 2, Sun Nov 22. 2001 Colorado Boulevard, 303-322-7009 www.dmns.org Firehouse Tales For Tots- Denver Firefighters Museum 1356 Tremont Pl, (303) 892-1436. First Wednesday of each month 10:00 am - 10:30 am. Ages 2-6 Museum of Contemporary Art - First Saturday of every month - Admission: 1 penny 1275 19th St, Denver 303-298-7554 www.mcartdenver.org U.S. Mint - Free: Mon - Fri; 8am 3pm; reservations encouraged 320 West Colfax Ave., 303-405-4761 www.usmint.gov
March 28 • Broomfield April 7 • Centennial April 18 • Aurora To sign up or learn more, visit www.marry-well.org, or call 720-488-8888. 8101 E. Belleview Avenue, Suite D-2 • Denver, CO 80237 • (720) 488-8888 • www.waittraining.org
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Sports
Colorado Rockies - MLB • Rockies host Reds: Mon Sep 7, 1:10 pm, Tue Sep 8, 6:40 pm, Wed Sep 9, 6:40 pm, Thu Sep 10, 1:10 pm • Padres hosts Rockies: Fri Sep 11, 8:05 pm, Sat Sep 12, 8:05 pm, Sun Sep 13, 2:05 pm • giants host Rockies: Mon Sep 14, 8:15 pm, Tue Sep 15, 8:15 pm, Wed Sep 16, 8:15 pm Colorado Rapids - Major League Soccer • Toronto hosts Rapids: Sat Sep 12, 2 pm • San Jose hosts Rapids: Fri Sep 18, 9 pm • Rapids host San Jose: Wed Sep 23, 7:30 pm • Kansas City hosts Rapids: Sat Sep 26, 6:30 pm Colorado Avalanche - NHL • Avalanche host Sharks; Thus Oct 1, 7:30 pm TICKETS ON SALE NOW Denver Broncos - NFL • REGULAR SEASON OPENER - Cincinnati hosts Broncos: Sun Sep 13, 11:00 am • Broncos host Browns: Sun Sep 20, 2:15 pm Colorado Mammoth - Natl Lacrosse League • PRESEASON Mammoth hosts San Jose, Sat Dec 20 7:00 pm
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Tidbits® - Denver Metro Area
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Standing Tall
How To Eat An Elephant – Part 2 I, Miriam Zoole, Co-owner Tidbits - Denver Metro Area, began working with Kim Sopoci, Personal Fitness Trainer, several weeks ago – we did an assessment of my overall physical condition and Kim noticed my body was not aligned. Kim gave me some exercises to do each morning for 2 weeks then to do them once or twice a week for a few more weeks then just do them once every few weeks to maintain my new body alignment.
they were not meant to and it pulled joints in ways they weren’t supposed to. My right foot splayed way to the right and my hips pointed outwards instead of forwards. My shoulders were out of alignment as well. This had to do with the way I was sitting. At nearly 300 pounds I had trouble sitting in chairs; while driving, at the movies, sporting events, and airplanes. I would shift one hip forward in my chair, turn my shoulders into it and contort my body so I could “fit” in my seat. While doing this allowed me to watch a movie, go to the opera or visit foreign lands, it shifted my body out of whack.
September 7, 2009
two weeks – I haven’t been doing so well the last 2 weeks. Journaling has never been my forte and so I have not made it a “must do” on my to do list each day. I know I should – but… Kim seems to understand this. She chastised me last week about not doing for MYSELF; that I allowed work and doing for others to come before doing for me. I know she’s right – I deserve to be fit and trim and I know Kim can help me be that person. If I only stop being so stubborn and do what Kim tells me to do – I know I’ll be a healthier, stronger person a lot sooner.
That was last month – this month I am “better’. My right foot now sits straighter to my knee, my hips are shifting forward and my shoulders are evening out – I still have some work to do, but I am confident that in the next month I will show further improvement. Kim likes to work slowly, to make sure my body gets used to one thing before moving on. That doesn’t mean we haven’t moved on – in fact, I am now doing 5 hours of cardio each week – that is, I SHOULD be; I find it hard to fit 5 hours You see, 5 years ago I weighed 75 pounds into my schedule, but I am working on it. Kim Sopoci is a personal fitness trainer. more than I do now. I didn’t want to waddle Kim also has me journaling what I eat, She wants to help you realize the best when I walked so I learned how to walk in my feelings, and any other notes I want you that you can be. Call Kim today at a way that I wouldn’t waddle. By doing this to take regarding the transformation I (303) 690-3507 for your consultation and I actually moved muscle to move in ways have undertaken. I did very well the first evaluation. I say exercises but in all fairness, they really aren’t. I don’t think I broke a sweat while doing any of them – in fact, I got a lot of strange looks from my partner who was wondering why I was laying on the floor with one leg propped on a chair and saying, “don’t bother me, I’m doing my exercises.” He didn’t understand that posture correction exercises are very subtle. Subtle, but truth be told, they were painful at first.
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Tidbits® - Denver Metro Area
September 7, 2009
WEEKLY FUNNIES
By Samantha Weaver • It was British novelist Norman Douglas who made the following sage observation: “You can tell the ideals of a nation by its advertisements.” • If you’re like the average American, you will eat approximately 22 pounds of tomatoes this year. And half of that amount will come in the form of ketchup and tomato sauce. • Those who study such things say that a crack in breaking glass travels at more than 3,000 miles per hour. • This may not come as a surprise, but studies of university students show that those who major in education drink the least liquor, while business administration majors drink the most. • From the “Yes, There Is a Word for It” file: A crith is a unit of measure denoting the weight of a liter of hydrogen. • The famed cable cars in San Francisco are the only U.S. national monument that is mobile. • The year 1828 was a sad one for winemakers. For unknown reasons, 80 percent of the bottles of champagne bottled that year exploded. • Add to the list of surprising items you can buy in vending machines in Japan: batteries, umbrellas, soccer balls, live bait, French fries and ties. • Dead bodies can be a lucrative business: Medical schools and research institutions will pay more than $200,000 for one. • You might be surprised to learn that Jane Austen’s novel “Pride and Prejudice” was originally titled “First Impressions.” • Sir Christopher Wren, the man who designed the famous London landmark St. Paul’s Cathedral, was an astronomer, not an architect. His other achievements included developing a method for calculating eclipses and devising a way to measure the rings of Saturn
The boss returned from lunch in a good mood and called the whole staff in to listen to a couple of jokes he had picked up. Everybody, but one girl laughed uproariously. “What’s the matter?” grumbled the boss. “Haven’t you got a sense of humor?” “I don’t have to laugh,” she replied. “I’m leaving Friday.” The chief of staff of the US Air Force decided that he would personally intervene in the recruiting crisis affecting all of our armed services. He directed a nearby Air Force base that will be opened and that all eligible young men and women be invited. As he and his staff were standing near a brand new F-15 Fighter, a pair of twin brothers who looked like they had just stepped off a Marine Corps recruiting poster walked up to them. The chief of staff walked up to them, stuck out his hand and introduced himself. He looked at the first young man and asked, “Son, what skills can you bring to the Air Force?” The young man looks at him and says, “I’m a pilot!” The general gets all excited, turns to his aide and says, “Get him in today, all the paper work done, everything, do it!” The aide hustles the young man off. The general looks at the second young man and asked, “What skills to you bring to the Air Force?” The young man says, “I chop wood!” “Son,” the general replies, “we don’t need wood choppers in the Air Force, what do you know how to do?” “I chop wood!” “Young man,” huffs the general, “you are not listening to me, we don’t need wood choppers, this is the 20th century!” “Well,” the young man says, “you hired my brother!” “Of course we did,” says the general, “he’s a pilot!” The young man rolls his eyes and says, “So what! I have to chop it before he can pile it!”
(c) 2009 King Features Synd., Inc.
A wealthy investor walked into a bank and said to the bank manager, “I would like to speak with Mr. Reginald Jones, who I understand is a tried and trusted employee of yours.” The banker said, “Yes he certainly was trusted. And he will be tried as soon as we catch him.”
Thought for the Day: “It is easier to lead men to combat, stirring up their passion, than to restrain them and direct them toward the patient labors of peace.” -- Andre Gide
Fred got home from his Sunday round of golf later than normal and very tired. “Bad day at the course?” his wife asked. “Everything was going fine,” he said. “Then Harry had a heart attack and died on the 10th
WEEKLY ANSWERS
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tee.” “Oh, that’s awful!” “You’re not kidding. For the whole back nine it was hit the ball, drag Harry, hit the ball, drag Harry.” The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather than German which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty’s Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five year phase-in plan that would be known as “Euro-English”. In the first year, “s” will replace the soft “c”. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard “c” will be dropped in favour of the “k”. This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have 1 less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome “ph” will be replaced with “f”. This will make words like “fotograf” 20% shorter. In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be ekspekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent “e”s in the language is disgraseful, and they should go away. By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing “th” with “z” and “w” with “v”. During ze fifz year, ze unesesary “o” kan be dropd from vords kontaining “ou” and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters. After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi to understand ech ozer. Ze drem vil finali kum tru! And zen ze world!
Dog Of The Week
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Cat Of The Week
Angel - a 3 year old, spayed female, white doemstic long hair mix. ID #A0484424
Dumb Friends League 2080 South Quebec St. Call to adopt one of these or any of the other Denver, CO 80231 wonderful pets available (303) 751-5772 for $55 - $115. www.ddfl .org
Page 8
Laugh Lines! Actual Signs Posted in Foreign Countries
• PARIS HOTEL Please leave your values at the front desk. • JAPANESE HOTEL You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid. • ZURICH HOTEL Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose. • NORWAY COCKTAIL LOUNGE Ladies are requested not to have children at the bar. • MOSCOW HOTEL You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists and writers are buried daily except Thursday. • BUCHAREST HOTEL The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable. • HONK KONG DENTIST Teeth extracted by the latest methodists. • PARIS SHOP Dresses for street walking. • BUDAPEST ZOO Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty. • COPENHAGEN AIRLINE OFFICE We will take your bags and send them in all directions. • SWEDISH FURRIER Fur coats made for ladies from their own skin. • POLISH MENU Roasted duck let loose and beef rashers beaten up in the country people’s fashion. • SWISS EATERY Our wines leave you nothing to hope for. • RHODES TAILOR Order summer suits early. In a big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation. • BANGKOK DRY CLEANER Drop your trousers here for best results. • ROME LAUNDRY Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time. • HONG KONG TAILOR SHOP Ladies may have a fit upstairs.
Tidbits® - Denver Metro Area
September 7, 2009
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Quips & Quotes
“The more intensely we feel about an idea or a goal, the more assuredly the idea, buried deep in our subconscious, will direct us along the path to its fulfillment.”
- Earl Nightingale