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While our military men and women are serving our country around the world, we should realize the sacrifices they are making and support them with our cards, letters, and thoughts. Let’s look at some serious as well as lighthearted military Tidbits. • Military service tends to run in families. U.S. Army General George S. Patton, Jr. was one of the most famous generals who served in World War II. He had ancestors who served in the Revolutionary War, Mexican War and Civil War and grew up listening to their stories. The 1970 movie Patton is a must-see. • General Patton was known for being a fearless leader. He once said, “There is a time to take counsel of your fears, and there is a time to never listen to any fear.”
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• Soldiers in World War II needed a chocolate candy boost just like many of us. M&M’s were first given to GIs by the U.S. Army in 1941 and were exclusively for the military during the war. They were originally packaged in cardboard tubes. The tagline, “melts in your mouth, not in your hands” was not introduced until 1954. • When World War II ended in 1945 there were almost 11,000,000 men and women in the U.S. military services. • We remember Richard Nixon as the President who resigned because of the Watergate scandal…but he also was the Navy Lieutenant who served free hamburgers and Australian beer to flight crews at Nixon’s Snack Shack, the only hamburger stand in the South Pacific during World War II.
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Page 2
Issue #1112
Caroline’s Interior Consignments FOR WEEK OF NOVEMBER 09, 2009
ARIES (March 21 to April 19) A rejection of your attempt to be friendly leaves you with two choices: Try again, or give up. If you want to make another effort, go slowly. Let things develop without pressure. TAURUS (April 20 to May 20) It could be a problem dealing with unfamiliar people who do things differently from what you’re used to. But rely on that strong sense of purpose to get you through this difficult period. GEMINI (May 21 to June 20) To avoid neglecting a personal matter because of a demanding new workplace schedule, start prioritizing immediately. Knowing how to apportion your time takes a little while to set up. CANCER (June 21 to July 22) It won’t be easy to avoid some of the pressures that come with change. Best advice: Take things a step at a time, and you’ll be less likely to trip up while things are in a chaotic state. LEO (July 23 to August 22) A much-talkedabout workplace change could be coming soon. Be sure to get all the details involved in the process, and once you have them, you can decide how you want to deal with it. VIRGO (August 23 to September 22) You might still believe that your trust was betrayed, although the facts would appear to prove the opposite. But by the week’s end you should learn something that will help set the record straight. LIBRA (September 23 to October 22) Holiday plans could be a challenge because of shifting circumstances. But a more settled period starts by midweek, allowing you to firm up your plan-making once and for all. SCORPIO (October 23 to November 21) The facts continue to be on your side. So make use of them in dealing with any challenge to your stated position. Also, open your mind to the offer of help from an unlikely source. SAGITTARIUS (November 22 to December 21) There could still be a communication problem holding up the resolution of a troublesome situation. Stay with it, and eventually your message will get through and be understood. CAPRICORN (December 22 to January 19) A possible change in your workplace schedule might create a chaotic situation for a while. But once things begin to settle down, you might find that this could work to your advantage. AQUARIUS (January 20 to February 18) A recent job-linked decision might need to be reassessed because of the possibility of finding benefits you might have overlooked. Check out all related data to help in the search. PISCES (February 19 to March 20) A personal situation you agreed to might not be as acceptable to the other person involved in the matter. Avoid pressuring and bullying. Instead, seek common ground by talking things through. BORN THIS WEEK: You have a gift for touching people’s minds as well as their hearts. You would make an outstanding educator. (c) 2009 King Features Synd., Inc.
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You have another month to wrap up your 2009 tax year. Taking even a few steps now can give you more deductions from your taxes next April. Here are some ideas: -- Make an additional mortgage payment this year and get a larger mortgage interest statement. That amount gets deducted from your Schedule A, assuming you itemize and don’t take the standard deduction. Be sure to send it early enough that it’s included in your 2009 payments. -- If your property taxes aren’t escrowed, you likely get a bill with the amount due in two equal installments, one payable now and one in the spring. Pay all of it now and deduct it on your Schedule A. -- Make de-cluttering part of your holiday pre-guest cleaning, and donate the usable stuff to Goodwill or the Salvation Army. Get a receipt for your donation with each item clearly listed. Consider using a software program called It’s Deductible made by Turbo Tax that will help you assign a realistic value. Keep your paperwork and deduct it on the Schedule A. -- If you itemize your deductions, your medical and dental deductions have to exceed the 7.5 percent Adjusted Gross Income before you actually get a deduction. If you know you’re already over that amount, consider using December for medical and dental procedures and add those to your deductions for the year. Remember to add up all of your medical mileage, too. -- Are you self-employed? Stock up on office supplies you’ll need for the coming months. Buy computer paper by the carton and printer cartridges by the dozen if you’ll use them before they dry up. (Check the expiration dates.) Consider whether it’s time for a new computer, printer, external hard drive or monitor, and buy them now. Watch the store sales between now and the end of the year for bargains. If your office phone is likely to fail in the next six months, consider buying a new one. You don’t actually have to use it until the old one stops working. Be sure to save all your receipts. Pre-pay any subscriptions you order for business. Defer income, if possible, by sending out invoices near the end of December so the payments won’t arrive until January. David Uffington regrets that he cannot personally answer reader questions, but will incorporate them into his column whenever possible. Write to him in care of King Features Weekly Service, P.O. Box 536475, Orlando, FL 32853-6475, or send e-mail to columnreply@gmail.com.
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November 09, 2009
Page 3
THANKS FOR SERVING! (continued) • The Medal of Honor is the highest and most prestigious award an individual serving in the U.S. Armed Forces can receive. It is awarded to officers and enlisted personnel for individual acts of bravery in combat. It is presented by the President in the name of Congress and is often referred to as the Congressional Medal of Honor.
• A Joint Resolution of Congress in 1976 secured George Washington’s rank as “General of the Armies of the United States,” (note the plural “Armies”) making it the highest rank in U.S. military history. The rank was a five star position given posthumously taking effect July 4, 1976. General John J. Pershing had also been awarded the title (over the “Armies”) as a leader in World War I but wore only four stars. • During World War II, in December 1944, a military rank of five stars was created. There were four Army Generals, four Navy Admirals and one Air Force General that have held this rank. • The U.S. has five federal service academies for training military leaders. • The U.S. Military Academy at West Point, New York is the oldest continuously oper-
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cal Hospitals,” M*A*S*H, was based on the 1968 novel by Richard Hooker. MASH units were fully functional hospitals in combat zones. The first MASH, designed to get medical personnel closer to injured troops, was established in August 1945. During the Korean War, wounded soldiers had a 96% survival rate once they received treatment at a MASH. The MASH on television was much smaller than real units. In Korea, one MASH handled over 600 casualties in 24 hours.
• An Air Force Academy was being consid- • On October 16, 2006 the last MASH was deactivated; the 212th MASH based in ered in the 1940s but did not become a Germany. The last deployment was to supreality until April 1, 1954, when President port Pakistan in relief efforts after the 2005 Dwight D. Eisenhower signed a bill estabKashmir earthquake. The entire hospital, lishing the U.S. Air Force Academy located valued at $4,500,000 was donated to the in Colorado Springs, Colorado. Pakistani military. The 212th MASH sign • The U.S. Coast Guard Academy is the is displayed at the Army Medical Departsmallest of the service academies and is ment’s Museum in San Antonio, Texas. located in New London, Connecticut. • Comedian Bob Hope entertained our • The U.S. Merchant Marine Academy in troops at home and abroad over a span of Kings Point, New York trains shipboard six decades. He once said, “If I have to lay officers and other transportation industry an egg for my country, I’ll do it.” leaders for the U.S. merchant marine fleet, which essentially consists of all commer- • The U.S.’s closest ally and fellow defender of North America, Canada, has a Navy, cial ships owned by U.S. companies, regArmy and Air Force. The U.S. and Canaistered and operating under the U. S. flag. da monitor and protect our airspace and • The long-running (1972-1983) sitcom that ocean areas through the North American brought attention to “Mobile Army SurgiAerospace Defense Command (NORAD).
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Issue #1112
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• On Nov. 10, 1775, the Continental Congress passes a resolution stating that “two Battalions of Marines be raised” for service as landing forces for the Continental Navy. The resolution created the Continental Marines and is now observed as the birth date of the United States Marine Corps. • On Nov. 14, 1851, “Moby Dick,” a novel by Herman Melville about the voyage of the whaling ship Pequod, is published. Initially the book was a flop. By the 1920s, scholars had rediscovered Melville’s work, and “Moby Dick” became a staple of high-school reading lists across the United States. • On Nov. 15, 1867, the first stock ticker is unveiled in New York City. The advent of the ticker made upto-the-minute prices available to investors around the country. Prior to this development, information from the New York Stock Exchange traveled by mail or messenger. • On Nov. 11, 1918, at the 11th hour on the 11th day of the 11th month, fighting during World War I ends. At 5 a.m. that morning. Germany -- bereft of manpower and supplies and faced with imminent invasion -signed an armistice agreement with the Allies in a railroad car outside CompiŽgne, France. • On Nov. 9, 1938, in an event, Kristallnacht, that would foreshadow the Holocaust, German Nazis launch a campaign of terror against Jewish people and their homes and businesses in Germany and Austria. The violence left approximately 100 Jews dead, and 7,500 Jewish businesses damaged. An estimated 30,000 Jewish men were arrested. • On Nov. 12, 1954, Ellis Island, the gateway to America, shuts it doors after processing more than 12 million immigrants since opening in 1892. Today, an estimated 40 percent of all Americans can trace their roots through Ellis Island, named for merchant Samuel Ellis, who owned the land in the 1770s. • On Nov. 13, 1982, the Vietnam Veterans Memorial is dedicated in Washington. The long-awaited memorial was a simple V-shaped black-granite wall inscribed with the names of the 57,939 Americans who died in the conflict, arranged in order of death, not rank, as was common in other memorials. (c) 2009 King Features Synd., Inc.
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1. GEOGRAPHY: Lake Tahoe straddles the borders of which two U.S. states? 2. FOOD AND DRINK: What kind of dish is sometimes referred to as a “grunt” or a “slump”? 3. MEDICINE: What condition does a deficiency of iron cause? 4. MOVIES: What 1990 film won an Oscar and a Golden Globe for Best Picture? 5. GENERAL KNOWLEDGE: What is the traditional birthstone for May? 6. MUSIC: How old was Felix Mendelssohn when he wrote the overture to “A Midsummer Night’s Dream”? 7. ASTRONOMY: How many moons does the planet Mars have? 8. MYTHOLOGY: What is the Greek god of the sun called? 9. LANGUAGE: What is the only word in the English language that ends in the letters “mt”? 10. LITERATURE: What was the name of Dick and Jane’s cat in the famous early readers? Answers 1. California and Nevada 2. Baked fruit dessert with a biscuit topping 3. Anemia 4. “Dances with Wolves” 5. Emerald 6. 17 7. Two, Phobos and Deimos 8. Helios 9. Dreamt 10. Puff (c) 2009 King Features Synd., Inc.
Tidbits® - Denver Metro Area
November 09, 2009
Page 5
Happy Birthday Sophie! I still remember the first time I saw you. Instantly I was in love, yet no words had been spoken. I needed to know everything about you. I wondered, could you actually be the one for me? The first time we talked was such a special day. There was no way I could let you get away! I was hooked and I’d never felt that way before. My love for you has only grown stronger over the years. When I look into your eyes I get lost in the beautiful woman that is my wife. You and me, hand in hand forever. Nothing can come between us; I will be in your arms until the end of time. I want all of our hopes and dreams to come true as we live happily ever after. You’re so special to me and I wouldn’t change a thing. Our life is an adventure with an ending that is not yet written. I’m your fix-it guy and you’re my spicy sandwich shop girl.
Happy Birthday!
I Love You!!! Brandon
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Page 6
WEEKLY FUNNIES
By Samantha Weaver
• It was way back in the 19th century that American statesman Daniel Webster made the following sage observation: “The world is governed more by appearances than realities, so that it is fully as necessary to seem to know something as to know it.” • Scary movies like “Jaws” notwithstanding, experts claim that you are 50 times more likely to be killed by a bee than you are to be killed by a shark. • All official American flags must be lowered and put away at night -- all except one. The flag that was placed on the moon on July 20, 1969, by Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin (for obvious reasons) remains flying at all times. • Although almost everyone today thinks of the dictator Napoleon as being unusually short, records show that he was actually 5 feet, 6 inches tall, which was the average height for a man in France at that time. • Those who study such things say that the coolest parts of the sun are approximately 10,000 degrees Fahrenheit, while the hottest spots can reach a whopping 15 million degrees. • The popular pub pastime of darts originated in the Middle Ages as a training game for archers. • Theodore Roosevelt was the first American president to drive an automobile, as well as the first to own one. • Although our lives are centered around (and sometimes seem completely ruled by) the seven-day week, not all cultures have demarcated dates that way. Ancient Egyptians once used a 10-day week, and ancient Romans followed a pattern of 8-day weeks. (c) 2009 King Features Synd., Inc.
Thought for the Day: “In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress.” -- John Adams
The population of the United States was 360 million at the time of writing, but there are 128 million over 60 years of age, leaving 242 million to do the work. People under 21 total 127 million which leaves 115 million people to do the work. Because of the 63 million government employees, there are only 52 million left to do the work. 12 million in the armed forces leave 40 million workers. Deduct 34 million State, county, and city employees, and we are left with 6 million to do the work. There are 5 million people in hospitals, asylums, and treatment facilities leaving 1 million workers. However, 950,000 of these are bums or others who will not work, leaving 50,000 to do the work. Now, it may interest you to know that there are 49,998 people in jail so that leaves just 2 people to do all the work, and that is you and me, and I’m getting tired of doing everything myself! Two men were boasting to each other about their old army days. “Why, my outfit was so well drilled,” declared one, “that when they presented arms all you could hear was slap, slap, click.” “Very good,” conceded the other, “but when my company presented arms you’d just hear slap, slap, jingle.” “What was the jingle?” asked the first. “Oh,” replied the other offhand, “just our medals.” Sandy began a job as an elementary school counselor and she was eager to help. One day during recess she noticed a girl standing by herself on one side of a playing field while the rest of the kids enjoyed a game of soccer at the other. Sandy approached and asked if she was all right. The girl said she was. A little while later, however, Sandy noticed the girl was in the same spot, still by herself. Approaching again, Sandy offered, “Would you like me to be your friend?” The girl hesitated, then said, “Okay,” looking at the woman suspiciously. Feeling she was making progress, Sandy then asked, “Why are you standing here all alone?” “Because,” the little girl said with great exasperation, “I’m the goalie!” Two men got out of their cars after they collided at an intersection. One took a flask from his pocket and said to the other, “Here, maybe you’d like a nip to calm your nerves.” “Thanks,” he said, and took a long pull from the container. “Here, you have one, too,” he added, handing back the whiskey. “Well, I’d rather not,” said the first. “At least not until after the police have been here.”
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www.FightYourDebt.net John Cimino, Attorney 303-830-7274 The story of someone getting a haircut. Women’s version: Woman 1: Oh! You got a haircut! That’s so cute! Woman 2: Do you think so? I wasn’t sure when she gave me the mirror. I mean, you don’t think it’s too fluffy looking? Woman 1: Oh God no! No, it’s perfect. I’d love to get my hair cut like that, but I think my face is too wide. I’m pretty much stuck with this stuff I think. Woman 2: Are you serious? I think your face is adorable. And you could easily get one of those layer cuts - that would look so cute I think. I was actually going to do that except that I was afraid it would accent my long neck. Woman 1: Oh - that’s funny! I would love to have your neck! Anything to take attention away from this two-by-four I have for a shoulder line. Woman 2: Are you kidding? I know girls that would love to have your shoulders. Everything drapes so well on you. I mean, look at my arms - see how short they are? If I had your shoulders I could get clothes to fit me so much easier. Men’s version: Man 1: Haircut? Man 2: Yeah. Three patients in a mental institution prepare for an examination given by the head psychiatrist. If the patients pass the exam, they will be free to leave the hospital. However, if they fail, the institution will detain them for five years. The doctor takes the three patients to the top of a diving board looking over an empty swimming pool, and asks the first patient to jump. The first patient jumps head first into the pool and breaks both arms. Then the second patient jumps and breaks both legs. The third patient looks over the side and refuses to jump. “Congratulations! You’re a free man. Just tell me why didn’t you jump?” asked the doctor. To which the third patient answered, “Well Doc, I can’t swim!”
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Cat Of The Week Josie - 1-year-old, female, short-hair cat loving for love. ID #A0533595
Dumb Friends League 2080 South Quebec St. Call to adopt one of these or any of the other Denver, CO 80231 wonderful pets available (303) 751-5772 for $55 - $115. www.ddfl.org
Tidbits® - Denver Metro Area
November 09, 2009
Page 7
Stay-at-home moms
Events
Cabinet of Curiosities: October 9, 2009 - March 5, 2010; Indoor Gallery at the Museum of Outdoor Art, 1000 Englewood Pkwy, Ste 2-230, Englewood. Mon - Thu 9:00 am - 5:00pm Fri 9:00 am - 4:00 pm. A whimsical exhibition showcasing the talents of 12 artists working in a new vintage style to create artistic worlds in furniture, cabinets, rooms, antique luggage, hand blown glass and fashion armoires. The juxtapositions of disparate objects is sure to delight the historian, tinkerer and armchair scientiest. Among the many oddities, you will see Lewis Carroll’s “Imaginary Cabinet Room” by Lonnie Hanzon, Nick Bantock’s “Portrait of an Artist as a Young Man” and Elaine Pellham’s “Fisher King’s Tackle Box”. ADMISSION IS FREE! www. moaonline.org East End Arts District Celebrates Denver Art Week: November 13; 5:00 pm - 9:00pm. Aurora’s origianl downtown on East Colfax. Join the art walk in Aurora! www.EastEndArtsDistrict.org Rocky Mountain Bird Expo: November 14, 2009 - November 15, 2009, Doors open at 9:00 am. National Western Event Center, Denver. The speaker line up will include Patricia Sund, creator of Memos to Parker and Pepper and Bird Talk writer, and Sally Blanchard. This show will also include, booths, raffles, silent auctions, gifts, toys, cages, art work and lots of birds best sale prices and new products not seen locally. $7 adults, $5 children and seniors. www. BirdTee.com World Kitchen: Chef Cookings Demos: November 14, 2009 - December 12, 2009. Saturdays 10:30 am - 12:00 pm - FREE ADMISSION. Denver Public Library, Central Branch, Denver. This cookie party, hosted by Jessica Gaydos, features a selection of cookies from around the world. There’s no better time than fall and winter for a batch of warm cookies, and Chef Gaydos will provide samples and recipes that will gain you entree to any Untied Nation Potluck. www.DenverLiberary.org K’s Gifts 2 Go: Holiday Bazaar Event, December 12, 2009, Green Valley Ranch Golf Club, 4900 Himalaya St, Denver. FREE ADMISSION!!! 11:00 am - 5:00 pm. A variety of vendors for you to SHOP ‘TIL YOU DROP!! Intimate Apparel, Gano Coffee, Leather Purses, Quilts and Blankets, Bath Products. Look good for the holidays. Shapewear, etc. Don’t You Dare Miss It! Contact K - (303) 200-7004. To Place Your Event in this calendar please e-mail Info@TidbitsOfDenver.com
Free Events
Bus Tour of the Golden Triangle Art/ Museum District: First Friday of every month 5 - 9 pm. Ballet Arts Theatre, 816 Acoma St, Denver 303-825-7570 www.pnfproductions.com Children’s Museum: First Tuesday evening of the month, 4 - 8pm. 2121 Children’s Museum Drive www.cmdenver.org CU In Broomfield World Music Series: Free concerts 2nd Wed of every month, 7pm Broomfield Auditorium, 3 Community Park Rd, 303-469-3301 x7999 www.broomfield.org
Would you like to rid your home of the dangerous TOXINS that can make your kids sick and also make some Part-Time INCOME at the same time? Call me and I will send you a FREE DVD that explains everything Call Debbie at 303-300-7504
Tidbits Denver Metro Area is NOW HIRING!
Denver Art Museum: First Sat of every month free to CO residents, 10am5pm 100 West 14th Avenue Parkway www.denverartmuseum.org Denver Botanic Gardens: Free days Check web site for 2010 schedule of free days.1005 York St, 720-865-3500 www.botanicgardens.org Denver Museum of Nature & Science: 2009 Free days: Sun Nov 22. 2001 Colorado Boulevard, 303-322-7009 www.dmns.org Firehouse Tales For Tots: Denver Firefighters Museum 1356 Tremont Pl, (303) 892-1436. First Wednesday of each month 10:00 am - 10:30 am. Ages 2-6 Museum of Contemporary Art: First Saturday of every month admission = 1 penny. 1275 19th St in Denver. 303-2987554 www.mcartdenver.org U.S. Mint: Mon - Fri; 8am - 3pm; reservations encouraged 320 West Colfax Ave. 303-405-4761 www.usmint.gov
Sports
Colorado Avalanche - NHL • Blackhawks host: Wed Nov 11, 6:30 pm • Canucks: Sat Nov 14, 8:00 pm • Flames host: Tue Nov 17, 7:30 pm • Oilers host: Wed Nov 18, 7:00 pm • Canucks host: Fri Nov 20, 8:00 pm • Flyers: Mon Nov 23, 7:00 pm • Predators: Wed Nov 25, 7:00 pm Denver Broncos - NFL • Pittsburgh: Mon Nov 9, 6:30 pm • At Washington: Sun Nov 15, 11:00 am • San Diego: Sun Nov 22, 2:15 pm • New York: Thu Nov 26, 6:20 pm Denver Nuggets - NBA • At Chicago: Tue Nov 10, 6:00 pm • At Milwaukee: Wed Nov 11, 6:00 pm • LA Lakers: Fri Nov 13, 8:30 pm • Toronto: Tue Nov 17, 7:00 pm • At LA Clippers: Fri Nov 20, 8:30 pm Colorado Mammoth - NLL PRESEASON • Minnesota: Fri Dec 18, 7:00pm REGULAR SEASON begins January!
Now Hiring for the following positions: • SALES - Earn $50k, $75k, $100k or more you set the limit! • DISTRIBUTION - Earn $10 - $18/hr. Must have own car and insurance For an application, send email to: HR@TidbitsOfDenver.com Please specify the job(s) you are interested in.
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“Why am I no longer in the picture? Don’t they love me any more?” A child should never need to ask these questions. You can help! Foster a child and give them the love, patience, structure and attention they need.
Denver Area Youth Services
(303) 698-2300
Page 8
Laugh Lines!
Ways To Have More Fun At Work...
Tidbits® - Denver Metro Area
Issue #1112
CENTENNIAL CHRYSLER • JEEP
• Each time someone asks you to do something, ask them to sign a waiver. • Page yourself over the intercom. (Don’t disguise your voice.) Centennial, CO 80112 • Come to work in your pajamas. www.CentennialChryslerJeep.com • Put a picture of your mother on your business card. • Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Always wear them one day after your boss does. (This OVER 900 VEHICLES TO CHOOSE FROM is especially effective if your boss is a different gender than you are.) ‘96 HONDA ACCORD ‘05 PONTIAC VIBE AWD $ • Put a chair facing a printer, sit there all Auto, AC, Won’t Last! #92241................... 1995 Auto. All Power. #9647............................ $9,995 day and tell people you’re waiting for ‘78 JEEP CJ ‘06 JEEP LIBERTY 4x4 your document. $ $ • Include a piece of your children’s artwork 4x4 Rare! Hurry! #94821 .......................... 2495 Auto, Price sells! #3548j1.................... 10,995 ‘93 JEEP WRANGLER 4x4 ‘05 VOLVO S40 as a cover page for all reports that you $ Won’t last! #3159i1................................... 3495 Auto, Leather, Heated seats. #95341...$12,995 write. (If you don’t have children, draw stick figures yourself.) ‘05 DODGE NEON 2008 JEEP PATRIOT 4x4 • Agree to organize the company Auto great 1st car! #91302........................ $4995 Auto, alloys. #3181i1........................... $15,988 Christmas party. Hold it at McDonald’s ‘99 DODGE RAM 1500 4x4 ‘04 FORD EXCURSION 4x4 Playland. Charge everyone $15 each. $ X-cab Super clean #9614......................... 7588 Turbo, diesel. Eddie Bauer Edition #5607i1... $15,995 • Put your garbage can on your desk. ‘05 TOWN AND COUNTRY ‘07 TOYOTA TACOMA Label it “IN.” Will not last! #6160i2................................$7995 Double cab TRD 4x4. #3157i1............. $19,995 • Send email to the rest of the company telling them what you’re doing. For ‘93 CHEVY CORVETTE ‘04 LEXUS LS430 example “If anyone needs me I’ll be in White. Red leather. Clean! #95241...........$9495 Fully Loaded, luxury for less. #4305i1. $20,995 the bathroom.” ‘06 SCION XB ‘06 ACURA TL • Compose all your e-mail in rhyming $ Priced to sell! #9643................................... 9588 Nav roof low miles #5539i1................. $23,488 couplets. • “Hi-lite” your shoes. Tell people that you espresso. cubicle. haven’t lost your shoes since you did • Put those hole reinforcing circles on the • Decorate your office with pictures of this. center of you eyeglasses. Now go to that Cindy Brady and Danny Partridge. Try to • Hang mistletoe over your desk. executive meeting. pass them off as your children. • Bring in food that you tried to cook but • Subscribe your coworkers to those free didn’t turn out quite right as special treats • Put decaf in the coffeemaker for 3 trade journals. Give them wacky middle weeks. Once everyone has gotten for your co-workers. names. Example: Bobby “Pud” McNeel. over their caffeine addictions, switch to • Put up mosquito netting around your
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