Denver Metro Area November 16, 2009
Issue #1113
Published by Mountain View Publishing, LLC
TIDBITS® LOOKS AT THE
Do you suffer from:
Hypertension with Type 2 Diabetes? Overactive Bladder? | Psoriasis? | Eczema? Post-Menopausal Symptoms? Type 2 Diabetes? | Endometriosis? Horizons Clinical Research Center, LLC is conducting clinical research studies of investigational treatments for these conditions. As a participant in one of our research studies you will receive: • All clinic visits, lab assessments, medical exams, and investigational treatments free of charge • Also compensation for your time and travel
To learn more about our currently enrolling research studies please contact us at 303.399.4067, email info@horizonscrc.com or visit us on the web at www.horizonscrc.com
Heirlooms Mall
1947 S. Havana Aurora, CO 80014 303.337.6880 Mon-Sat 10-6 Sun Noon-5
Chapter 7 or 13
Bankruptcy (303) 525-9531
www.coloradobklawyer.com email: nomoredebt@qwest.net
Hill law OffiCe, P.C.
lawrence R. Hill, attorney at law 1901 w. littleton Blvd. | littleton, CO 80120
20 years experience | affordable | fast | personal service weareadebtreliefagency.wehelppeoplefilebankruptcyundertheBankruptcyCode.
FOR ADVERTISING CALL (303) 688-1987
THANKSGIVING HOLIDAY by Kathy Wolfe
This week, Tidbits focuses on one of the nation’s favorite holidays, declared a national holiday by Abraham Lincoln in 1863. • A fortune-telling chicken gave us the start to the tradition of breaking the wishbone at Thanksgiving. Over 2,400 years ago, the Etruscan people inhabited the Italian peninsula, and believed a strange superstition related to their 20-letter alphabet. Drawing a circle in the dirt, these early Italians divided it into 20 wedges, and placed a kernel of grain in each wedge, depicting each letter. As a hen nibbled at the pieces, a holy man was transcribing the letters in order. The high priest was called upon to interpret the chicken’s pecking order. A dead chicken’s collarbone was revered as sacred, and after drying out in the sun, the unbroken bone was held by the superstitious Etruscans as they made a wish. When the Romans began practicing this unusual custom, they came to blows over the bones, breaking them. The practice evolved into the holder of the larger piece being granted their wish. Tradition states that our saying “I need a lucky break” or “I never get a break” were the result of this ritual. The Romans passed along the superstition to the English, who brought it to the New World, and, with the abundance of turkeys in the area, transferred the practice to the native fowl. • The dinner table isn’t the only place you’ll find a wishbone on Thanksgiving Day. You might see one during the after-dinner football game, if the offensive line of your team uses a wishbone formation. This occurs when the quarterback surges forward, followed by the fullback, with a halfback on each of his sides. The appearance of these four players gives the appearance of an inverted “Y”, much like the bird’s clavicle.
Info@TidbitsOfDenver.com
Front Page Classifieds
Queen Pillowtop
New King
5-PC New Microfiber
Pottery Barn Style
A Brand New Queen Pillowtop Pillowtop Mattress Set Mattress Set with warranty. Foundation with Warranty. $255 $159. Delivery Available. Can Deliver. 303-758-1312 303-758-1312 Living Room Set. With warranty Beautiful New Panel $599 Can Deliver. Bedroom Set - $1799 Call - 303-758-1312 Stunning Espresso raised panel window frame. Solid wood New Leather Sofa In original carton with warranty. dovetailed drawers with felt lining, unique nickel hardware. $599 Can Deliver. 7-Piece Set includes Bed, 303-758-1312 Dresser, Mirror, Nightstand, and 5-Drawer Chest! Beautiful Cherry Formal List Price $5,800 sell: $1799 Dining Set - 8 Piece Call 303-758-1312 Table with leaf, 2 arm charis, 4 side chairs. NEW!!! All in original $599 Brand New All Wood boxes. All SOLID Hardwood! 5 PC Bedroom Set Lists for over $3000, must sell In box with manufacturer’s $899. Delivery available. Hutch warranty. Can Deliver. available. Call 303-758-1312 303-758-1312
Proven Tips, Tools and Tactics To Make Money From Home Do you want to become a member of the world’s most elite club on the internet for making money?
From Mack Michaels: “This system makes me at least $171,168.06 per month and you can start using it 15 minutes from now!” For a FREE preview with videos - go to:
www.MaverickClubSite.com * * * * * *
Over 500 hours of video and audio The most complete coaching club online You can start at any skill level Live phone and email support Everything you need is in one place Work from the comfort of your home
$200 OFF
Energy Star Water Heater*
continued on page 3!
Because Quality Lasts
Call Today for All your plumbing
NEEDS!
303-916-6226
www.PlumbingHelpToday.com *May not be used with any other offers. Good through 3/31/10 or while supplies last.
M e at i e s t W i n g s i n t oW n !
Sunday is FUNday - Bloody Mary Bar Ladies Night every Thursday! Live Music - Fridays 6pm - 9pm Full Bar - Full Menu - if you don’t see it on the menu, let us know and we’ll do whatever SPORTS TAVERN we can to accomodate your wishes! 6495 E Evans, Denver (Corner of Monaco and Evans - just E of I-25) (303) 691-3391 www.MilosSportsTavern.com
BUY ONE GET ONE HALF OFF! Equal or lesser value. Not valid with any other offer Valid M-F 11a-3p Expires Sep 30, ‘09
Tidbits® - Denver Metro Area
Page 2
Issue #1113
When your financial obligations get too big...
Morse & Associates, LLC is here to help.
FOR WEEK OF NOVEMBER 16, 2009
ARIES (March 21 to April 19) A long-sought workplace change could be happening soon. Consider reworking your ideas and preparing a presentation just in case. A personal relationship takes a new turn. TAURUS (April 20 to May 20) Your persuasiveness doesn’t really start to kick in until midweek. By then, you can count on having more supporters in your camp, including some you doubted would ever join you. GEMINI (May 21 to June 20) Your workload is still high, but -- good news! -- you should start to see daylight by the week’s end. Reserve the weekend for fun and games with friends and loved ones. You deserve it. CANCER (June 21 to July 22) Regardless of how frustrating things are, keep that “Crab” under control. A cutting comment you might think is apt right now will leave others hurting for a long time to come. LEO (July 23 to August 22) Be more sensitive to the emotions of loved ones who might feel left out while you’re stalking that new opportunity. Be sure to make it up to them this weekend. A nice surprise could be waiting. VIRGO (August 23 to September 22) The gregarious Virgo rarely has a problem making new friends. But repairing frayed relationships doesn’t come easily. Still, if it’s what you want to do, you’ll find a way. Good luck. LIBRA (September 23 to October 22) A misunderstanding with a partner or spouse needs to be worked out before it turns into something really nasty. Forget about your pride for now and make that first healing move. SCORPIO (October 23 to November 21) Communication dominates the week. Work out any misunderstandings with co-workers. Also get back in touch with old friends and those family members you rarely see. SAGITTARIUS (November 22 to December 21) As busy as your week is, make time for someone who feels shut out of your life. Your act of kindness could later prove to be more significant than you might have realized. CAPRICORN (December 22 to January 19) Congratulations. Your busy workweek leads to some very satisfying results. Sports and sporting events are high on your weekend activities aspect. Enjoy them with family and friends. AQUARIUS (January 20 to February 18) Your generosity of spirit reaches out once again to someone who needs reassurance. There might be problems, but keeping that line of communication open eventually pays off. PISCES (February 19 to March 20) You are among the truth-seekers in the universe, so don’t be surprised to find yourself caught up in a new pursuit of facts to counter what you believe is an insidious exercise in lying. BORN THIS WEEK: You believe in loyalty and in keeping secrets. All things considered, you would probably make a perfect secret agent. (c) 2009 King Features Synd., Inc.
$500 Bankruptcy
Better Money Habits Add Up to Savings
• Garnishments • Foreclosure • Harassment (303) 300-6684 1-877-284-7529 www.MorseBankruptcy.com
We are a federally designated debt relief agency pursuant to Title 11 of the U.S. Code, to help people file bankruptcy
Free Consultation Payment Plans Available
Seeking anSwerS?
Call Deborah GifteD reaDer 1-888-330-6853
Intuitive Psychic
Utility bills: If you had a goal this year of reducing your utility expenses by always turning off lights and lowering the thermostat, did you do it? If your savings weren’t what you expected because you didn’t always follow through, set a goal for next year. Notch the thermostat down a degree or two and turn off lights you’re not using until it becomes an easy habit. Cell phones: If you’re on a monthly plan that gives you a certain number of minutes for a set price, chances are you use up those minutes because they’re there. You can save money, however, by changing to an inexpensive phone with pre-paid minutes that you refill as needed. Your cell phone usage is likely to go down when you consider that each call is costing you a nickel or a dime per minute. The initial savings: no monthly bill. Additional savings: fewer minutes used. Grocery coupons: You have to do the work -- cut them out of the paper, plan meals around items that are covered by the coupons -- but there is serious money to be saved using grocery coupons. Investigate online coupon sites, too. (Generate a throwaway e-mail address for those sites requiring that you sign up.) Check with your local store before you present them with printed coupons. Some stores won’t take them. Pay attention to expiration dates. Rule of thumb: Don’t be tempted to buy food your family won’t eat just because it looks like a good deal. Sales flyers, ads and Internet comparison: Get in the habit of looking at the flyers and ads in the newspaper. Compare any intended purchases to what you find online. Plus, a local store with a Web site might list specials that never show up in a print ad.
Even in tough economic times, there's always one investment with a guaranteed return—your marriage! Thanks to the Colorado Healthy Marriage Project, you can now gain the encouragement and the skills needed to strengthen your relationship, and the only thing it will cost you is your time. Don't miss this special workshop that will help you grow closer to your spouse: March 28 • Broomfield April 7 • Centennial April 18 • Aurora To sign up or learn more, visit www.marry-well.org, or call 720-488-8888. 8101 E. Belleview Avenue, Suite D-2 • Denver, CO 80237 • (720) 488-8888 • www.waittraining.org
HOME
Think used: Check thrift shops for merchandise in good condition. You can find clothing, furniture, tools, books, children’s games, housewares and much more at very low prices. Take some steps now, and you’ll be positioned to start the New Year with better money-saving habits. David Uffington regrets that he cannot personally answer reader questions, but will incorporate them into his column whenever possible. Write to him in care of King Features Weekly Service, P.O. Box 536475, Orlando, FL 32853-6475, or send e-mail to columnreply@gmail.com.
WORK
• Individual Health & Dental Insurance • Autos & Homes • Umbrella
(303) 397-7830
Don’t wait until the end of December to do a year-end financial review. This is a good time to begin developing new habits that will help you save money next year. Here are some ideas:
• Group Health & Ancillary Benefits • Work Comp & Business Liability
We’re here to help YOU!
(877) 397 - 7830
November 16, 2009
Tidbits® - Denver Metro Area
Page 3
THANKSGIVING HOLIDAY (continued)
• It takes about 4,400 cranberries to make a gallon of juice, and about 200 for every can of cranberry sauce. They are only grown in five American states, Wisconsin, Massachusetts, New Jersey, Oregon, and Washington. If you were to combine all the cranberry bogs in North America, the area would add up to only about 47 square miles. • The only official record of the first Thanksgiving menu comes from the writings of Colony governor William Bradford, who listed “five deer, a large number of turkeys and waterfowl, cod, and bass; plus the
$%.6%2 -%42/ !2%!
The Neatest Paper Ever Read! Owned and operated by: Mountain View Publishing, LLC
For advertising or distribution information call or e-mail us today! Info@TidbitsOfDenver.com
(303) 688-1987 www.TidbitsOfDenver.com
4.35 Sale
Everyday Case Discounts on Wine and Spirits!
LIQUOR WAREHOUSE Warehouse Selection and $avings CONVENIENT DRIVE-THRU
1550 S Parker Rd.
(SE Corner of Parker Road & Florida Ave.)
In-Store Tasting Every Saturday 4PM - 6PM OPEN Mon - Thurs 9AM - 10PM Fri & Sat 9AM - 11PM Sun 10AM - 6PM
303-368-8445
Mississippi Ave Pa
Florida rke
Iliff I-25
rR
oad
Hampden Ave
Havana
• When the Mayflower sailed into what is now Provincetown Harbor on November 11, 1620, it brought the ancestors of many notable Americans, including several presidents. Both George H.W. Bush and his son can trace their lineage back to the Mayflower, as can the senior Bush’s Vice-President Dan Quayle and presidential wife and mother Barbara Bush. Film icons Orson Welles and Marilyn Monroe share the same ancestor, passenger John Alden, while notables Franklin Roosevelt, U.S. Grant, Sarah Palin, and actor Richard Gere are members of the same family tree. Clint Eastwood descends from Plymouth Colony governor William Bradford, as did Noah Webster of dictionary fame.
er L
Manaco
• Good and good for you! The tiny cranberry is rich in antioxidants, and may provide important defense against Alzheimer’s Disease.
Sup
Colorado Blvd.
• There are only three fruits that are entirely native to North America – the blueberry, the Concord grape, and the cranberry. A 1680 letter from a colonist to his brother in England was one of the earliest mentions of cranberries. Early Native Americans, who called the fruit “sassamanesh” or “ibimi,” concocted “pemmican” by crushing cranberries and mixing them with dried deer meat. They also used the berries in poultices in order to draw poison from arrow wounds. The bright red juice lent itself nicely to use as a dye for blankets and clothing. European settlers called the berry a “crane berry” because the plant’s drooping flower resembled the head and bill of a crane.
ow
%
s Ta
x
Aurora Sentinel
Take This Coupon To Wallaby’s and $AVE!
10% OFF ANY WINE OR LIQUOR PURCHASE
Excludes sale items, beer, and cigarettes. One coupon per visit. Not valid with other offers Expires 12/09/09 TB
harvest, which consisted of wheat, corn, • Antarctica is the only continent where pumpkins can’t be grown. barley, and perhaps a few peas.” We’ve added our assumptions of assorted nuts, • Although the Macy’s Parade has been a squashes, and berries to the list. Thanksgiving morning fixture for 85 years, it wasn’t the first. Gimbel’s, a Philadelphia • While the official date for Thanksgiving in department store, was ahead of them by the United States is the fourth Thursday four years, sponsoring the first parade in of November, Canadians celebrate their 1920. Macy’s, however, became the one holiday on the second Monday in Octoto watch, adding the first of their famous ber. It began in 1872 as a day of gratitude colossal helium balloons in 1927, a gifor the Prince of Wales’ recovery from a ant Felix the Cat. Mickey Mouse made life-threatening illness. his debut in the 1934 parade. Other no• The pumpkin was used by early settlers table characters include Curious George, as an antidote for snake bites. Others Scooby-Doo, Mr. Potato Head, and, of thought it could be used to remove freckcourse, Snoopy, who has undergone les. several makeovers from aviator to skat• The colonists’ version of pumpkin pie left ing Snoopy to the addition of his friend, out one essential – the crust! Their recipe Woodstock. called for slicing off the top, removing the seeds, and filling up the cavity with cream, • Look out below! On a rainy Thanksgiving in 1957, as Popeye floated above the spices, and honey. It was then baked in New York City crowd, his cap filled up with hot ashes, and because a pumpkin is rain, dumping its contents on parade-go90 percent water, the result was a rich ers below. In 1994, the purple Tyrannocreamy custard. saurus Rex Barney veered off course and • There was no lack of crust on the recordran into a lamp post, causing a large tear holding world’s largest pumpkin pie, baked side in his side. Luckily, Barney was the in 2005. Weighing in at 2,020 pounds, the only one injured. Not true three years latpastry required 250 pounds of crust, 900 er, when the Cat in the Hat struck a lamp pounds of pumpkin, 62 gallons of evappost, flinging fragments to the street and orated milk, 1,860 eggs, 300 pounds of striking a spectator, resulting in a skull sugar and seven pounds of cinnamon. fracture and a month-long coma.
Tidbits® - Denver Metro Area
Page 4
Issue #1113
ARE YOU
Uninsured? Underinsured? Uninsurable? Paying too much? Customized health insurance plans to fit your needs through “A” rated companies ONLY! Pre-existing conditions accepted
• On Nov. 22, 1718, Edward Teach, also known as Blackbeard, is killed off North Carolina’s Outer Banks during a bloody battle with the British navy. Teach was the most infamous pirate of his day, winning the popular name of Blackbeard for his long, dark beard, which he was said to light on fire during battles to intimidate his enemies. • On Nov. 17, 1869, the Suez Canal, connecting the Mediterranean and the Red seas, is inaugurated. When it opened, the Suez Canal was only 25 feet deep. Major improvements began in 1876, and today an average of 50 ships navigate the canal daily, carrying more than 300 million tons of goods a year. • On Nov. 16, 1907, Indian Territory and Oklahoma Territory collectively enter the United States as Oklahoma, the 46th state. The name “Oklahoma” is derived from the Choctaw Indian words okla, meaning “people,” and humma, meaning “red.” • On Nov. 20, 1945, in Nuremberg, Germany, 24 high-ranking Nazis go on trial for atrocities committed during World War II. The Nuremberg Trials were conducted by an international tribunal, and charges ranged from crimes against peace, to crimes of war, to crimes against humanity. • On Nov. 19, 1969, Brazilian soccer great Pele scores his 1,000th professional goal in a game, against Vasco da Gama in Rio de Janeiro’s Maracana stadium. Born Edson Arantes do Nascimento in Tres Coracos, Brazil, in 1940, Pele scored 1,282 goals in 1,363 games during his career. • On Nov. 18, 1978, People’s Temple leader Jim Jones leads hundreds of his followers in a mass murdersuicide at their agricultural commune in remote northwestern Guyana. U.S. Congressman Leo Ryan, who had traveled to Jonestown to investigate, was murdered the day before as he attempted to leave. • On Nov. 21, 1980, more than 350 million people around the world tune in to television’s popular primetime drama “Dallas” to find out who shot J.R. Ewing, the character fans loved to hate. The episode identified Kristin Shepard, J.R.’s wife’s sister and his former mistress, as the culprit.
(c) 2009 King Features Synd., Inc.
Working with YOU to make sure there is A plan for Everyone!
Joeleen Becker
Call (720) 985-2010
www.aPlanForEveryone-Colorado.com
1. LITERATURE: What is the literary device called alliteration? 2. MATH: What is the Arabic equivalent of the Roman numerals MMDLVII? 3. TELEVISION: What comic book superhero is either mentioned or represented in many episodes of the “Seinfeld” sitcom series? 4. INVENTIONS: Who is credited with inventing the electric razor? 5. MOVIES: What was Forrest Gump’s home state? 6. MUSIC: What rock group performed the song “Pride (In the Name of Love)”? 7. CHEMISTRY: What is the symbol for the element magnesium? 8. GEOGRAPHY: What modern European country was called Lusitania in Roman times? 9. LANGUAGE: In Latin names for the days of the week, what planet is represented by Wednesday? 10. ANIMAL WORLD: Which insect can sting only once? Answers 1. Use of a repeated consonant, usually at the beginning of a word 2. 2,557 3. Superman 4. Jacob Schick 5. Alabama 6. U2 7. Mg 8. Portugal 9. Mercury (Dies Mercurii) 10. Honeybee (c) 2009 King Features Synd., Inc.
Tidbits® - Denver Metro Area
November 16, 2009
How To Eat An Elephant – Part 4 Miriam Zoole continues her journal into better health, nutrition and fitness with the guidance of personal trainer, Kim Sopoci.
As we approach the holiday season our thoughts turn to family dinners, cookies, pies and many other oh-so-yummy-butnot-so-good-for-you foods. I will need lots of will power to get through “the” season. For those of you trying to get in shape and losing weight, put it in your mind right NOW that you will NOT gain weight over the next 2 months. Tell yourself, believe it, and you will come out the better for it in January. I’ve decided to share a little “weight loss” news with you… I have lost 16 pounds of FAT. Not just pounds, which usually means some muscle loss, but FAT. This was measured not just by a scale but by a tape measure and calipers. The inches are melting off, muscle is forming and overall tone is improving. Pants fit better, sleeveless shirts are no longer tucked in the back corner of my closet; my body is beginning to look more like I want it to. For those of you who are wondering how come I didn’t lose more weight during all this time, remember, I didn’t say “weight”, I said “fat”. I am not eating better and working my muscles to lose weight, I am building muscle, which weighs more than fat, in order to look and
Dear Tidbits Readers: Tidbits - Denver Metro Area can now place your display or classified ad in over 300 papers across the country! Papers such as: American Classifieds; Penny Saver; Thrifty Nickel; and other Tidbit publications throughout the USA. There is no need to contact each paper individually to place an ad. PRIVATE PARTY ADS - start at $12.00 per week for the first 20 words and 35 cents for each additional word. B U S I N E S S / COMMERCIAL ADS - start at $18.00 per week for the first 20 words and 35 cents for each additional word. Email us at Classifieds@ TidbitsOfDenver.com or call us at (303) 6881987 to place your ad today
feel better. One of the ways that I am making this happen is by eating “right”. Now many people will tell you what kind of “diet” you need to be on in order to lose weight, but remembaer, we want to lose FAT. In order to do that, you need to eat what is right for your body – not any one else’s. To properly explain the usefulness of metabolic typing, I must briefly discuss the crucial role of blood pH. The ideal pH is 7.46. At this level, the body most efficiently absorbs and utilizes nutrients. A higher or lower pH means the blood is too alkaline or too acid for optimal functioning. Mal absorption and poor utilization of nutrients can lead to a wide array of symptoms, such as fatigue , allergies, obesity, and high blood pressure. The further the blood deviates from its ideal pH level, the more severe the symptoms become. When the blood moves to its ideal pH level, the body comes into balance and these symptoms generally subside or disappear altogether. The key to managing the blood pH lies in knowing the individual’s metabolic type. There are different metabolic types (depending on who you ask that number is between 3 and 10) but let’s keep this simple and talk about the basic three types; fast, slow and moderate. So why not simply determine our blood pH and eat foods accordingly? Because even if we know, for example,
Email Classifieds@TidbitsOfDenver.com E D U C AT I O N
OCEAN CORP. Houston, Texas. Train for New Career. Underwater Welder, Commercial Diver, NDT/Weld Inspector. Job placement and financial aid for those who qualify, 1-800-321-0298. FINANCE
“Loan Modifications” Facing foreclosure or late on mortgage payments? Let our team help reduce your mortgage payment and save your home! We specialize in modifications and foreclosure prevention. FREE CONSULTATIONS! 720-234-4861
BUS I NE S S O P P O RT UNI T I E S
Catering Truck and Supplies For Sale! Everything you need to get started, except the kitchen sink! Call for details (406) 560-3507 S E RV I CE S
Solutions Security Services Can meet your specific needs - 24 hrs Guard and Patrol Industrial, Offices, Commercial, Residential, Construction, Schools, Church, Health Care, Public, Special Events and Real Estate. 720-857-8303 email: Sssscty2010@ cs.com www. SolutionsSecurity.us
Page 5
that the blood is too acid, we still don’t know which foods will make it more alkaline. The somewhat surprising reason for this is that any given food may be either alkalinizing or acidifying, depending on the metabolic type of the person ingesting it. Before we can be certain which foods (and supplements) we need, we must know our metabolic type. Kim Sopoci gave me a simple test to find out what metabolic type I am and gave me a lits of foods I should stay away from, and which are better for me. Of course many of my favorite foods are on the “do not eat” list! However, on the list of foods I am to indulge myself with, I have pleanty of yummy choices. Since each metabolic type will have its own list of foods to eat and foods to avoid, I do not want to list here what I am to avoid, since YOU may have that food on your “should eat” list. In order to find out what metabolic type you are, you can call Kim at (303) 690-3507 and set up your intial consultation meeting. She will not only help you find your right metabolic type but she will pin point which muscles you need to strengthern in order to have your entire body in tune and working smoothly.
Call (303) 688-1987
ADPOTION
H E L P WA N T E D
MISCELLANEOUS
ARE YOUR PREGNANT? Professional secure couple wishes to adopt and Love your infant. We can help with medical/ living expenses. Completely legal. Call our attorney David Radis 800637-2882.
IMMEDIATE OPENINGS!
WANT TO Purchase minerals and other oil/gas interest. Send details to: P.O. Box 13557, Denver, CO 80201
Distribution Drivers Wanted to deliver “The Neatest Little Paper Ever Read!” Must have own car and insurance. Contact: HR@ TidbitsOfDenver. com
NO SALARY LIMITATION! R E A L E S TAT E
IMMEDIATE DEBT RELIEF! Stuck with a house you can’t afford or no longer want? We take over payments, buy with cash or terms Foreclosure OK Call Donna NOW at 800-535-7273 or www.jntps.com
Earn as much as you want! Immediate openings for sales representatives. Must have own transportation, be self-motivated and be able to cold call. Contact HR@ TidbitsOfDenver. com
WHERE SINGLES MEET: Listen & Reply to Ads FREE! Straight 303-302-3022 Curious? 303-3023020 Use FREE Code 7325,18+Call 888-Megamates!
MEDICAL & H E A LT H
BUY VIAGRA, Cialis, Levitra, Propecia and other medications below wholesale prices. Call: 1-866-5068676. Over 70% savings. www. fastmedonline.com
Tidbits® - Denver Metro Area
Page 6
Are bill collectors harassing you? WE SUE BILL COLLECTORS!
www.FightYourDebt.net John Cimino, Attorney 303-830-7274
WEEKLY FUNNIES
Howard County Police officers still write their reports by hand, and the data is entered later by a computer tech into their database. One theft report stated that a farmer had lost 2,025 pigs. Thinking that to be an error, the tech called the farmer directly. “Is it true Mr. Smith that you lost 2,025 pigs?” she asked. “Yeth.” lisped the farmer. Being a Howard County girl herself, the tech entered: “Subject lost 2 sows and 25 pigs.” Why isn’t phonetic spelled the way it sounds? Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii? Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes? Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there? Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing? If you can’t drink and drive, why do you need a driver’s license to buy liquor, and why do bars have parking lots? Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime? Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations? How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings? If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors? A man in a bar sees a friend at a table, drinking by himself. Approaching the friend he comments, “You look terrible. What’s the problem?” “My mother died in August,” he said, “and left me $25,000.” “Gee, that’s tough,” he replied. “Then in September,” the friend continued, “My father died, leaving me $90,000.” “Wow. Two parents gone in two months. No wonder you’re depressed.” “And last month my aunt died, and left me $15,000.” “Three close family members lost in three months? How sad.” “Then this month,” continued, the friend, “absolutely nothing!” A forester and a lawyer were in car accident and showed up at the pearly gates together. St. Peter greets them at the pearly gates and takes them to the homes where they will spend all of eternity. They get into St. Peter’s holy vehicle and head on down a gold road, which turns into a platinum road, which turns onto an even grander road
paved with diamonds, to a huge mansion where St. Peter turns to the lawyer and says, “Here is your home for the rest of eternity, enjoy! And if there is anything you need, just let me know.” Then St. Peter took the forester to his home, back down the diamond studded boulevard, down the platinum highway, down the street of gold, down an avenue of silver, along a stone alley and down an unpaved footpath to a shack. St Peter says “Here you go” and goes to leave when the forester says “Wait a minute!, how come the lawyer gets the big mansion and I get this shack?” St. Peter says: “Well, foresters are a dime a dozen here, we have never had a lawyer before.” While sports fishing off the Florida coast, a tourist capsized his boat. He could swim, but his fear of alligators kept him clinging to the overturned craft. Spotting an old beachcomber standing on the shore, the tourist shouted, “Are there any gators around here?!” “Naw,” the man hollered back, “they ain’t been around for years!” “Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming leisurely toward the shore. About halfway there he asked the guy, “How’d you get rid of the gators?” “We didn’t do nothin’,” the beachcomber said. “The sharks got ‘em.” A Russian couple was walking down the street in Leningrad the other night, when the man felt a drop hit his nose. “I think it’s raining,” he said to his wife. “No, that felt more like snow to me,” she replied. “No, I’m sure it was just rain, he said.” Well, as these things go, they were about to have a major argument about whether it was raining or snowing. Just then they saw a minor communist party official walking toward them. “Let’s not fight about it,” the man said, “let’s ask Comrade Rudolph whether it’s officially raining or snowing.” As the official approached, the man said, “Tell us, Comrade Rudolph, is it officially raining or snowing?” “It’s raining, of course,” he answered and walked on. But the woman insisted: “I know that felt like snow!” To which the man quietly replied: “Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear!” A man goes into a bar and seats himself on a stool. The bartender looks at him and says, “What’ll it be buddy?” The man says, “Set me up with seven whiskey shots and make them doubles.” The bartender does this and watches the man slug one down, then the next, then the next, and so on until all seven are gone almost as quickly as they were served. Staring in disbelief, the bartender asks why he’s doing all this drinking. “You’d drink them this fast too if you had what I have.” The bartender hastily asks, “What do you have pal?” The man quickly replies, “I have a dollar.”
WEEKLY ANSWERS
Issue #1113
By Samantha Weaver
• Of particular interest in these troubled economic times, it was British humor columnist Katharine Elizabeth Whitehorn who made the following sage observation: “The easiest way for your children to learn about money is for you not to have any.” • The fish known as the electric ray can produce a current strong enough to kill an adult human. • If you are the parent of a young daughter, you are probably all too familiar with the Japanese export Hello Kitty. A new item has recently been added to the Hello Kitty line, but it is decidedly not for kids: The Super Hello Kitty Jewel doll is on the market for $150,000. To celebrate the 35th anniversary of the character, Sanrio (the maker of Hello Kitty), Swarovski (known for high-end crystals) and Japanese jewelry maker I.K. have created a 4-inch-tall Hello Kitty of platinum, and studded the doll with 1,939 pieces of white topaz, 403 pink sapphires, eyes of black spinel and a nose of citrine. The whole thing is topped off with a one-carat diamond on its hair ribbon. • The onion is actually a member of the lily family. • The next time you have a little bit of food stuck in your teeth, consider this: More Americans choke on toothpicks than on any other object. • In La Paz, Bolivia, you can find one of the most unusual prisons in the world. At San Pedro Prison, inmates have to purchase their cells. Those who are well off financially can buy private cells with bathrooms, television and kitchens. Those who are less lucky must share tiny rooms. (c) 2009 King Features Synd., Inc.
Thought for the Day: “We have in fact, two kinds of morality, side by side: one which we preach, but do not practice, and another which we practice, but seldom preach.” -- Bertrand Russell
Dog Of The Week
Need a new best friend?
Precious - 1-year-old, female Australian cattle dog mix. ID# is A0532493
Cat Of The Week Tito - 2-year-old, female, short-hair mix. ID #A0534417
Dumb Friends League 2080 South Quebec St. Call to adopt one of these or any of the other Denver, CO 80231 wonderful pets available (303) 751-5772 for $55 - $115. www.ddfl .org
Tidbits® - Denver Metro Area
November 16, 2009
Page 7
How to Eat an Elephant
Losing weight, toning and firming your body is a challenge - I want to help YOU!
Improve the quality of your life
Events
Cabinet of Curiosities: October 9, 2009 - March 5, 2010; Indoor Gallery at the Museum of Outdoor Art, 1000 Englewood Pkwy, Ste 2-230, Englewood. Mon - Thu 9:00 am - 5:00pm Fri 9:00 am - 4:00 pm. A whimsical exhibition showcasing the talents of 12 artists working in a new vintage style to create artistic worlds in furniture, cabinets, rooms, antique luggage, hand blown glass and fashion armoires. The juxtapositions of disparate objects is sure to delight the historian, tinkerer and armchair scientiest. Among the many oddities, you will see Lewis Carroll’s “Imaginary Cabinet Room” by Lonnie Hanzon, Nick Bantock’s “Portrait of an Artist as a Young Man” and Elaine Pellham’s “Fisher King’s Tackle Box”.ADMISSION IS FREE! www.moaonline.org World Kitchen: Chef Cookings Demos: November 14, 2009 December 12, 2009. Saturdays 10:30 am - 12:00 pm - FREE ADMISSION. Denver Public Library, Central Branch, Denver. This cookie party, hosted by Jessica Gaydos, features a selection of cookies from around the world. There’s no better time than fall and winter for a batch of warm cookies, and Chef Gaydos will provide samples and recipes that will gain you entree to any Untied Nation Potluck. www.DenverLiberary.org Todd Powell Photography Exhibition: December 1 - December 18, 2009, with an artist reception Thursday, December 10 5:00 pm - 7:00pm. City of Greenwood Village Curtis Arts & Humanities Center; 2349 E. Orchard Road, Littleton, CO. It’s hard to believe something like a calendar could challenge a commercial photographer’s fine art side. But that’s exactly what happened to professional photographer Todd Powell. Powell’s vivid images are featured in Greenwood Village’s 2010 calendar. Powell’s gallery exhibit revolves around the theme of water, an element Greenwood Village wanted to feature as part of its mission of environmental education. K’s Gifts 2 Go: Holiday Bazaar Event, December 12, 2009, Green Valley Ranch Golf Club, 4900 Himalaya St, Denver. FREE ADMISSION!!! 11:00 am - 5:00 pm. A variety of vendors for you to SHOP ‘TIL YOU DROP!! Intimate Apparel, Gano Coffee, Leather Purses, Quilts and Blankets, Bath Products. Look good for the holidays. Shapewear, etc. Don’t You Dare Miss It! Contact K (303) 200-7004. To Place Your Event in this calendar please e-mail Info@TidbitsOfDenver.com
Free Events
Bus Tour of the Golden Triangle Art/ Museum District: First Friday of every month 5 - 9 pm. Ballet Arts Theatre, 816 Acoma St, Denver 303-825-7570 www.pnfproductions.com Children’s Museum: First Tuesday evening of the month, 4 - 8pm. 2121 Children’s Museum Drive www.cmdenver.org
Look younger - Feel Better Be More Active... Let me help you make a difference today! Kim Sopoci personal fitness trainer www.KimSopoci.com (303) 690.3507
CU In Broomfield World Music Series: Free concerts 2nd Wed of every month, 7pm Broomfield Auditorium, 3 Community Park Rd, 303-469-3301 x7999 www.broomfield.org
Tidbits Denver Metro Area is NOW HIRING!
Denver Art Museum: First Sat of every month free to CO residents, 10am5pm 100 West 14th Avenue Parkway www.denverartmuseum.org Denver Botanic Gardens: Free days Check web site for 2010 schedule of free days.1005 York St, 720-865-3500 www.botanicgardens.org Denver Museum of Nature & Science: 2009 Free days: Sun Nov 22. 2001 Colorado Boulevard, 303-322-7009 www.dmns.org Firehouse Tales For Tots: Denver Firefighters Museum 1356 Tremont Pl, (303) 892-1436. First Wednesday of each month 10:00 am - 10:30 am. Ages 2-6 Museum of Contemporary Art: First Saturday of every month admission = 1 penny. 1275 19th St in Denver. 303-2987554 www.mcartdenver.org U.S. Mint: Mon - Fri; 8am - 3pm; reservations encouraged 320 West Colfax Ave. 303-405-4761 www.usmint.gov
Sports
Colorado Avalanche - NHL • Flames host: Tue Nov 17, 7:30 pm • Oilers host: Wed Nov 18, 7:00 pm • Canucks host: Fri Nov 20, 8:00 pm • Flyers: Mon Nov 23, 7:00 pm • Predators: Wed Nov 25, 7:00 pm • Wild hosts: Fri Nov 27, 12:00 pm • Wild: Sat Nov 28, 7:00 pm Denver Broncos - NFL • San Diego: Sun Nov 22, 2:15 pm • New York: Thu Nov 26, 6:20 pm Denver Nuggets - NBA • Toronto: Tue Nov 17, 7:00 pm • At LA Clippers: Fri Nov 20, 8:30 pm • Chicago: Sat Nov 21, 7:00 pm • New Jersey: Tue Nov 24, 7:00 pm • At Minnesota: Wed Nov 25, 6:00 pm • New York: Fri Nov 27, 7:00 pm • Minnesota: Sun Nov 29, 6:00 pm Colorado Mammoth - NLL PRESEASON • Minnesota: Fri Dec 18, 7:00pm REGULAR SEASON begins January!
Now Hiring for the following positions: • SALES - Earn $50k, $75k, $100k or more you set the limit! • DISTRIBUTION - Earn $10 - $18/hr. Must have own car and insurance For an application, send email to: HR@TidbitsOfDenver.com Please specify the job(s) you are interested in.
Caroline’s Interior Consignments Birch Burl Asian 8pc Bedroom Set - M a g n i f i c e n t new was $6800 We can give you a Deal!!!
100’s of pieces of new furtniture at LOW prices! Tuesday - Friday 10:00 am - 6:00 pm Saturday 10:00 am - 5:00 pm Sunday 1:00 pm - 5:00 pm Closed Monday and legal holidays
10890 E Dartmouth Ave Ste D, Denver (between Havana and Parker) (303) 337-8181
“Why am I no longer in the picture? Don’t they love me any more?” A child should never need to ask these questions. You can help! Foster a child and give them the love, patience, structure and attention they need.
Denver Area Youth Services
(303) 698-2300
Page 8
Laugh Lines!
Top 9 Signs Your Cat Has Learned Your Internet Password... 9. E-mail flames from some guy named “Fluffy.”
Tidbits® - Denver Metro Area
CENTENNIAL CHRYSLER • JEEP 9980 E Arapahoe Rd Centennial, CO 80112 www.CentennialChryslerJeep.com
8. Traces of kitty litter in your keyboard. 7. You find you’ve been subscribed to strange newsgroups like alt.recreational. catnip. 6. Your mouse has teeth marks in it... and a strange aroma of tuna. 5. Hate-mail messages to Apple Computers, Inc. about their release of “CyberDog.” 4. Your new ergonomic keyboard has a strange territorial scent to it.
2. On IRC you’re known as the IronMouser. and the #1 Sign Your Cat Has Learned Your Internet Password... 1. Little kitty carpal-tunnel braces near the scratching post.
Nine Things Dogs Don’t Understand...
1. It’s not a laugh to practice barking at 3a.m. 2. It’s wrong to back Grandma into a corner and guard her. 3. He shouldn’t jump on your bed when he’s sopping wet.
OVER 900 VEHICLES TO CHOOSE FROM ‘96 HONDA ACCORD
$
Auto, AC, Won’t Last! #92241...................
‘78 JEEP CJ
$
4x4 Rare! Hurry! #94821 .......................... Won’t last! #3159i1...................................
$
‘05 DODGE NEON
‘99 DODGE RAM 1500 4x4
X-cab Super clean #9614.........................
$
‘05 TOWN AND COUNTRY
Will not last! #6160i2................................$
‘93 CHEVY CORVETTE
Auto. All Power. #9647............................
4995
6995
7995
Priced to sell! #9643...................................$
‘04 JEEP LIBERTY 4x4
Snow is coming! #3232j1....................
Low miles. Auto. #95051.....................
Service: 303-691-1264
‘07 TOYOTA TACOMA
W ith A
LE C I H E V FREE CTION INSPAEny Ser vice
‘04 LEXUS LS430
Nav roof low miles #5539i1.................
‘06 ACURA TL
$
$
15,995 19,995
20,995
23,488
8. If you look at me with those big soppy eyes, I’m not going to give in and feed you. NOT NOT NOT. Oh, ok, just this once. 9. No, it’s my food....Oh alright then, just a small piece.
Sales: 303-691-1290
Stock# 59011 2009 SAAB 9-3 Sedan MSRP: $33,035.00 Mike Shaw Sale Price: $25,999.00
Stock# 89034 2009 CHEVY AVEO MSRP: $16,750.00 Mike Shaw Sale Price: $12,999.00
EXTENDED OFFER All New 2009 Tahoe’s and Suburbans in stock 0% for 72mths
tes stima
$
Double cab TRD 4x4. #3157i1.............
NEW CARS!
k l Oils Extra All Ma Specia
15,995
Turbo, diesel. Eddie Bauer Edition #5607i1... $
1080 S Colorado Denver CO 80246
5 $21.9 GE N A H OIL Ces All Models
$
‘04 FORD EXCURSION 4x4
www.MikeShawAuto.com
W ith
12,995
‘07 SUBARU LEGACY OUTBACK
8,995
6. Getting up does NOT mean we are going for a walk
9588
10,995
Auto, Leather, Heated seats. #95341...$
Fully Loaded, luxury for less. #4305i1.
5. Barking at guests 10 minutes after they arrive is stupid
$
‘05 VOLVO S40
8995
White. Red leather. Clean! #95241...........$ $
2495
3495
$
Auto great 1st car! #91302........................
‘05 PONTIAC VIBE AWD
1995
‘06 SCION XB
Committed to Colorado
AR C E E FR SHrvice WA ny Se
Free E
PRE-OWNED SPECIALS
7. Just because I’m eating, doesn’t mean you can.
4. The cats have every right to be in the living room.
t he Ar t f o State n Repair io Collis ility Fac
(303) 790-9300
‘93 JEEP WRANGLER 4x4
3. You keep finding new software around your house like CatinTax and WarCat II.
Service Hours M-F 7:00 am - 6:00 pm Sat 8:00 am - 5:00 pm
Issue #1113
Sales Hours M-F 8:30 am - 9:00 pm Sat 8:00 am - 7:00 pm
Mike Shaw Chevrolet/Saab Pre-Owned Value Cars! 2008 HYUNDAI SONATA #P10724 Save Thousands! 38k miles
$
10,787
2001 BMW 3-SERIES #P10671AA $ LOADED!
9,467
2005 CHEVY COBALT #P10684 Super Low Miles! 27k miles
8,888
2008 HYUNDAI ACCENT #P10644A $ Line new! 25k miles
9,476
2002 HONDA CIVIC #P10685A LX, Power All, and Clean!
www.MikeShawAuto.com
$
8,997
2000 HONDA PASSPORT #P10649A $ 4X4, and Clean
8,745
2002 DODGE STRATUS #P10723A $ WON’T LAST! 69k miles
6,499
2003 CHEVY MALIBU #P10613A Great Starter Car! Disclaimer: Prices include all rebates, and 0% w.a.c., all offers expire 11/30/09
$
$
3,997
Need Money? We will buy your vehicle with no obligations.